Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 358: Haunted Art

Episode Date: July 19, 2026

Is art reality? Kind of! It's IN reality! Are ghosts real? Kind of! We ALL know what they are! Join Alex as he brings Mathas and Jesse on a guided tour through FIVE PIECES OF HAUNTED ART!CHILLUMINATI is a weekly comedy podcast hosted by Mike Martin, Jesse Cox and Alex Faciane. Hold on to your tin-foil hats and traverse the realms of the mysterious, supernatural, spooky and sometimes truly horrible - and your third eye will never be the same!Subscribe to our Patreon to support us and for extra content like full video episodes, weekly Minisodes, exclusive art, and more at http://patreon.com/CHILLUMINATIPODThank you to our sponsors:MINTMOBILE: If you like your money, Mint Mobile is for you. Shop plans at mintmobile.com/chill Mike Martin - http://www.youtube.com/@themoleculemindset Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - https://www.youtube.com/@StarWarsOldCanonBookClub/Editor: DeanCutty Producer: Hilde @ https://bsky.app/profile/heksen.bsky.social Show Art: Studio Melectro @ http://www.instagram.com/studio_melectro Logo Design: Shawn JPB @ https://twitter.com/JetpackBragginEpisode Sources:https://ruthmillington.co.uk/most-haunted-art-in-the-world/The Treachery of Images:https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Treachery_of_Images#/media/File:MagrittePipe.jpgThe Hands Resist Him:https://ruthmillington.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2024/10/IMG_7689-704x1024.pnghttps://stonehamstudios.com/haunted#https://www.bbc.co.uk/derby/unexplained/2002/haunted_painting/ebay_haunted_painting_04.shtmlBlack Aggie:https://web.archive.org/web/20180720165350/http://www.prairieghosts.com/druidridge.htmlhttps://web.archive.org/web/20190428173156im_/http://www.prairieghosts.com/blackaggie.jpgGloomy Sunday:https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/gloomy-sunday/https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XQ2AuLaClmkAtuk:https://darkhauntings.wordpress.com/2016/03/16/the-curse-of-the-atuk-script/https://www.oddthingsiveseen.com/2020/09/bonus-cursed-objects-material-atuk.htmlYoung Girl in a Red Dress Glaring Into the Unknown:https://www.dailymail.com/news/article-12443685/Im-owner-haunted-painting-turned-life-upside-Woman-claims-20-portrait-girl-bought-charity-shop-enchanted-mother-like-Gollum-One-Ring-wants-professional-lift-curse.html?ito=social-reddithttps://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/08/25/22/74738665-12443685-image-a-16_1693000219459.jpghttps://i.dailymail.co.uk/1s/2023/08/25/22/74738659-12443685-image-a-15_1693000217224.jpg

An inspirational portrait of a farmer's son who rises from humble beginnings to build a luxury fashion empire. Brunello, the gracious visionary, traces Brunello Cucinelli's life journey, his commitment to craftsmanship, ethical values, and humanistic philosophy. Directed by Academy Award winner Giuseppe Tonatore, the film blends documentary and fiction, an intimate look at the Italian entrepreneur known as the King of Kashmir. See Brunello, the gracious visionary in Select Theatres, July 24th. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Chulamini podcast. A bit of 358 is always in one of your host, Mike Martin,

join with my other two co-hosts in crime, Alex and Jesse. Oh, hello. I want to just say that I do not know Mathis, and I've never done a crime in my life. And I don't know how I got into this call. Remember when we robbed that bank? You were the one with the gun. You shot those people.

I don't, I don't remember that. Mathis said, too. She was like, don't do that, Alex. That's crazy. I believe that was Santa Claus. I don't think I was there. I don't know. If you said that the cots show up, you would moon them to buy us some time to get away.

Well, yeah, well, that's- We could get $22 million in bearer bonds and sit on a beach earning 20%. You, yeah. Like you said, Nakatomi Towers was the spot, dude. Nakatomi Towers is where I sent you guys. You sent us, dude. You guys got bodied. You guys got prinked.

You guys got, you guys got the team. It was Christmas. And we thought it would be an easy job. We brought a bunch of guys. No one made. That is crazy. Yeah. You guys,

I didn't realize it got that bad. You guys went on a fire festival. That's what happened to you guys. You went to a fictional building. All right. Guys, welcome back to Chaluminati Pod,

the pod that is completely funded by the goodwill of the people who watch us. So if you, if you, not completely, but if you didn't, if you didn't,

we'd be bought. The majority of it is like this from you guys. And so if you head over to patreon. com slash Chimani pod. It's a great place to go. It keeps us able to make episodes about whatever we want. We don't have to like chase trends. We can keep the flavor of our show fresh.

And it's just good to do. You get a minisode every once in a while. If we were to chase trends as a Chulimani, what trends would this show be chasing? Aliens like pretty much all the time. Like really bad aliens. No, no. I want to do that all the time. Exclusive interviews with guys that don't know anything.

Every episode would feature a segment called like Reddit story. and it would be us just reading like, like, am I the asshole? Yeah, just like a story that has nothing to do with like, mysteries. It's just like,

yeah. Yeah, and it would be just us reacting to it. And then we'd bring out a guest who would say something insane and we'd all be like, yeah, that sounds, that sounds believable. We should all come on and we should all bring the same preconception about something

like a movie or video game that hasn't been out yet. And we should all talk about that preconception. Yes. And how mad we're going to be if we don't get that. that thing. And we should imagine that everything that comes out is made for us. And we should get really racist about the Odyssey. Oh my God. Yeah. That's hot right now. That's hot right now. That's the hottest. I don't know the best. The best part for that shit. Like Christopher Nolan was like, mean people are being raised. He was like, hate is going to hate. He was like, fuck off. I made the

best movie the year. Like, fuck you. I was the king of Batman for a decade. I know what hate is. Fuck you. Like fuck all these guys. Let's see. Here's what I'll say. Imagine a bunch of people with no knowledge posting on the internet like they had knowledge, sparking assholes around the world to be what they are. And then the movie came out and it's like at a 98% of Rotten Tomatoes. It's considered one of the best movies of the man's career. Everyone's like, this movie's fantastic. I'm so excited to see this thing.

People are like, dude, they made shit like terrifying. It's like, it looks incredible. people were getting, uh, you know, you know, you know what, call me crazy by the woker. Call me crazy. Uh, but like when a giant group of racists like finds each other online to like make statement together. I, I just don't give a shit what it is. I do not care at all what it is. If the thing that is in common amongst all the people saying is that they're like, well, we all like, we're all racist. I'm like, don't forget homophobic and sexist. Add that. I'm like, okay, well, I don't care.

Like, bye. Like, you're going to say some dumb shit. Anyway, go to our Patreon. You get minisodes there every week. Every time we put on an episode and there's great little surprises there all the time. Plus, we can circle it back to the show. The Odyssey filled with cryptids. That's right.

The Odyssey has, like, you could almost do like a breakdown of like the stuff that's in the Odyssey and whether or not it's real. Which, I mean, probably most of it's not real. but that's okay. We are here today to announce that now that Boston baked bean season is done, it's time for the summer of secrets. You know, what? Summer of secrets. It's hot. I like summer of secrets because secrets is very like, it's big tent. Yeah. It's vague, right? Yeah. Yeah. The new England was like oddly specific. And now we're going big wide on it. But yeah, it's hot. Things are weird. That's, you know, the summer. We're going to be examining like puzzle conspiracies, mysteries of all kinds this month, like true, true like puzzlers, like Pepe

Sylvia type stuff, uh, from the real, uh, to the less than real to the boundary right between them, which is where we are today with a rare Alex Listical episode, uh, yeah, sometimes, which I know sometimes we do like, you know, we do themes for seasons, but every once in a while, I just kind of just do something I wanted to do anyway, you know what I mean? Yeah, but you know what? You know what's chaos magic about it? how how often did it sync up this year be honest dude i don't want to talk the synchronicities have been insane it's insane yeah yeah it's been fucking crazy so as long as you if you build it yeah if you build it whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa no one listening saw what just occurred and i would like

play by play it's just for you no no no just for you what did you just hold up map this what did you just hold up he said chaos magic and i raised up a book and that book was advanced magic with a cave for beginners. By Alan Chapman. The craziest thing about this. The cover is a hand grenade. She's a black and white image of a hand grenade on the cover of the advance for beginners. Alex should be familiar for you.

Yeah. Oh, I know what it's about. Yeah, I know what it's all about. That's some Grant Morrison chaos magic symbolism right there. Grant Morrison just launched a Kickstarter for their own magic and symbols book that has to do with language. So if you're interested in that, go support that because Grant Morrison's one of the cool ones. All right. He is. I'm going to chaos magic his ass on our show one day. I love to talk to him

on the show. Oh my God. 100%. And that brings me right back to the boundary between real and fiction, which is where we are today with a rare Alex Listical episode, which serves as kind of a preview for another episode that I'm doing in a couple weeks. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to haunted art. Okay. I like that. Yeah. Haunted artwork. Art is often haunted. There's a lot of haunted paintings. People A lot of things in the haunted art category. I want to set up this episode with a real story. And is it the clown? Alex.

No, no, no, no. This is, this is one of our friends. You ever, I'm not going to put it. I'm not going to, you know what? I'm just going to say it. And I don't care if we have to edit out because it's true. And it's the only time I've ever really believed anything was haunted.

Our dear friend Michael Davis, friend of the pod. Oh my God, dude. Yeah. His family has a lovely home. But when you walk into that home, you open the door and there's a long hallway and at the end of that hallway is a blood red painting

and it looks like it looks like viscera it's so gross looking it's a scary it's a big it's a big like bold like center of the room vibe to give anybody who walk in the house but what's weirder is upon talking

with his father I believe he said and I quote when we bought the house it came with it and the guy said we had to keep it that shit is haunted i don't care what anyone there's no further clarification that's haunted i don't care what anyone says that is does he send like a lawyer by once a year at random like is the painting still i i don't know i just comes and does a painting check i keep thinking about it there's so much story you can build around what happens if you get it what would happen if you remove it now why does it

look like the insides of a murder victim it's terrifying it's it's a terrifying painting it looks like yeah it looks like it's going to start like like like it's going to start bleeding or something. It looks like a wound. Oh, it's terrifying. Terrifying art. But speaking of paintings, do you guys know that one painting, the treachery of images by Renee McGreet? Do you know this painting?

I do not know this painting. It's in the show notes for the people who don't know this painting. But let's talk about this painting and what it might mean for a second. I'll link you guys to it. I think you probably do know this painting. Of images, you said, is the name of it? It's called the treachery of images. Oh, the pipe.

The pipe that's not a pipe. Yeah, is it a pipe? Yeah, exactly. So what do you guys think the point of this painting is for a sec? Because it's just a pipe and under it, it says Sessinapa and peep, which means it's not a pipe. Right. Well, I mean, it's, it's, uh, you know, the name of it says exactly what the deal is with the goof on this. Is it's this image and it says it's a pipe or it's not a pipe, but it clearly is a pipe, but maybe it isn't. You know what I mean? It's what I mean? It's a painting, right? Yeah. Because it's not really, it's, it's not actually a pipe. It's not actually a pipe. It's not actually. a pipe, but it is a pipe, right?

But it's not a pipe, but it is. It would be like calling the still lines of an oranges, oranges, despite it just being art. Paint. You can say the treachery of images. You could also say a treachery of propaganda, right? You're obviously seeing a pipe, but the words are telling you it's not a pipe. Do you believe your eyes and what you see you?

But you're not seeing a pipe. That's not a lot. You're not seeing a pipe. You're seeing, you're seeing, oh, sure. I'm seeing, I see what you're saying. Okay. You're seeing paint on a paper and you're thinking it's a pipe. You're the one being fooled.

but just in case it's not clear. Here's a quote for Jesse about it from Renee McGree, the painter of the painting. The famous pipe, actually, the famous pipe. How people reproached me for it. And yet, could you stuff my pipe? No, it's just a representation, is it not? So if I had written on my picture, this is a pipe, I'd have been lying. You should have been playing Frenchie and the boys

instead of the IDF soldier that did. That's right. You heard it here first. Jesse Cox should have been French in the boys. That's right. That's right. Yeah. Kimiko.

You would have been good. Give me the, give me that edit. Give me the green screen edit. When they put Frank and stuff, you know, they like put Frank in like Lord of the Rings. Let's,

let's get Jesse and stuff. I need more. I need more footage for me just doing shit for that. Yeah, just running on a green screen. I'm making my end of year goals. Just have a bunch of green screen footage of me. You know in signs,

you know in signs when it zooms in on that like hallway and then the alien runs by really quick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You need that. Like Scooby-Doo. Yeah. Yeah. Set up a green screen up in like at the end of a hallway and just run across it like Jack Benny a bunch of times. All right. Like around just the corner. Just give us a couple of princesses.

Oh, princess. All right. So art. It's real. But what's in the art isn't real. But it's still kind of is real. it's art, right? Like, the story is real and not real in a way when it's a story, right? It's like, you are experiencing the story, even though it's not true. But then let's add ghosts and spirits and things to the equation, which are also like, in a reverse way, also real. But then many will tell you that actually, according to science and stuff, they're probably not real. And yet they're still prone to saying things like, that looks like a ghost or something like that.

even though like if they aren't real, then how can you know what a ghost looks like? Hmm. So ghosts are something. We all know what a ghost is, even though they're not real. So what is that? Is that like media?

That's interesting. Yeah. It's interesting, right? It's not media. It's like a meme. We all know who Frodo is, but he's not real.

Right. Exactly. Because there's like this shared idea of Frodo that we all have, which is real. We all do know what Frodo looks like, even though Frodo doesn't exist. It's almost impossible to understand. You're in a way,

describing thought form agregor in a not quite exactly but it's similar terminology because they do sit in that and they nest in the same area they they fuck in the same room you know what i mean it's all yes yes same in a weird way yeah and the answer of course is that somewhere hold on grant morrison he's the one that whipped up john lennon right he's one that summoned the john leninism it wasn't john lennon but it was john lenin but it was john lenin yeah let it came from somewhere if you will yeah they they summoned the the general concept of john lennon John Lennon. Yeah, a John Lennoniness that he created like out of,

he was the walrus. Out of putting John Lennon around him. But yeah, the answer is, of course, that somewhere along the way, it's probably us that does something back also, right? But where that line is is interesting, right? Like if you're telling a story about a ghost that's haunting a piece of art, there's a lot of like boundaries that you're crossing of true and false in that kind of description. I feel like I need to go get Harold for this episode.

Oh, you should. because Harold is a great example because we probably think Harold's fake but there he is. You know what I mean? Like I don't know. I tend to believe that of all the weird things Mathis has,

Harold needs to be real. I like that. I like that he still has him and that he's so scary. Every time I see Harold, I'm reminded that it's not real. Only because this, he doesn't look the part. This doll cut the brakes of a car.

He's possessed by World War. one-hundred story contradicts itself. So it's problem. Yeah, in the light of day, it's not terrifying. I'm sure at night that could be weird. But in the light of day, he just looks kind of like a, like a broken baby doll. Yeah, but the power resides in the, in the bandage across his mouth. Should the bandage ever come loose, he will be able to wreak havoc on my brake line, I'm assuming.

What do you mean? So does he like talk to your, do you like talks your break lines out of working? It's a magic. It's like a banishing ritual, I'm assuming. Yeah, I assume he's like the break line whisper. He convinces the brake lines to kill them. wears him down over years of nagging. Can I ask you a question? Would it be scarier if he is a doll was covered with those like

Japanese like a demon warding things rather than just tape? Oh, for sure. Oh, like the tags? Yeah. Yeah. That's so scary. That makes everything way more scary to a white thing like me. I think it would be terrifying. If he had those instead of just tape. Yeah. So is so is Harold real or is he fake? Is he just a ghost? Is he mostly a story? You don't I mean. Does he exist but only as a story? We don't know. But more importantly, if you're like me, if you're an Alex on the Jesse Mathis scale, does it even really matter that much in the end

if you're only ever going to imagine it in your mind anyway? Like, you're not going to see or interact probably with any of the things that I'm going to talk about today. You're just going to hear me talk about them. And you're probably not going to look up and find out whether or not they're truly factually true or not. You're just going to kind of let them be what they are in your mind.

So that's interesting. I think that's the great secret of all this shit. It's like part of it is from within you. It is all inward outward because you're everything is one like, you know, that one idea of like we're all, it's just one thing inward, inward reflection is creates the outward because outward is inward is inward. Yes, it's you and it's part of you in your mind, but also it is simultaneously real and not because it's all the same. It feels like we're like simultaneously being deep and fake deep at the same time.

I know it's like really fun. I've become that person of which I once hated when I was like 20. But it's true knowing the like sort of malleability of everything really does change your perception in a way that seems silly if you don't understand it. And you can write off a lot of the stuff that we talk about like, but like think about the weird little synchronicities even with the topics of our show and we covered them. Like we it's actually crazy. One that I think about is the Philadelphia experiment ended up happening on like the 20th anniversary of the Philadelphia experiment. Yeah. It wasn't planned.

It was just fell on that day. Yeah. The craziness with the Boston. It was like the molasses thing happened at the same time that there was like a, a tank rupturing, like very near us. Like, yep, it's really bizarre. But while you ponder, while you ponder that noodler,

while you ponder that noodler, that's a hard one to say, here's a list of a bunch of different haunted art pieces that since we can't fuck it or hang out with it as we as well as we can't encrypted, sorry Mathis, we will rate them on a scale of zero to five little John Travolta berets because they're artsy in terms of how much we want to own

said piece of art and possibly either how we want to like destroy the spirit within or where we might want to display it in our homes, just depending on how we rate it, right? What we want to do with it besides just owning it. Sound good? Yeah. Excellent. All above board?

Yep. Ready for some cool weird shit? Yep. Sure. Awesome. Let's do it. Oh, content warning. Lots of violence, lots of death, self-harm, reproductive trauma, general spookiness with this one.

And we're going to talk and joke about it quite flippantly, I imagine. So if you're feeling groovy, gird your loins, prep for a wild ride. Parents, you know what to do. Turn up the volume. I'll wait. Take the kids out for ice cream. I'll wait. Thank you so much to Mint Mobile for sponsoring today's episode.

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months, $90 for six months, and $180 for 12 months. Plan required. $15 per month equivalent. Tax and fees extra, initial plan term only, greater than 50 gigabytes may slow when network is busy. Includes up to 20 gigabyte hotspot, capable device required, availability, and speed and coverage varies cementmobile.com for details. Okay, good. Now let's get started. I don't even know what I'm asking them to do. Also, shout-outs to Hilda, who helped me with some of the research on this one. I think she also came up with the idea for this one originally. So good on her for helping me out with this one. The first thing that we're going to talk about today is a painting that is called The Hands Resist Him. It's by Bill Stoneham, and it's from 1972. So I'm going to give you guys

a look at that painting and just describe the painting if we can. And shoutouts to Ruth Millington. com.com.com. And Stoneham's own website for the story on this. A wild version of Hank Hill. It's a truly fucked up scary paintings, to be honest. Standing in front of a door. It's like a little boy standing in front of a door. And then next to him stands like a life-sized doll. That is a life-sized doll.

Yes. And then the shut door behind him is all pitch black, except for at the edges you can see little hands. Lots of hands. And there's a reflection of the moon in the door maybe or... Oh, yeah, yeah, that's probably a reflection of the moon. You know the best way to describe this little feller? Anytime the Simpsons did one of those goofs where they gained

flesh color instead of yellow. Yes. That's what he looks like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's orange, but like in a really pink sort of way. Yes. And it's a really scary painting. Like the vibe of this painting is not like cheerful.

It's like the vibe is like a painting that would be like on the wall in like someone's house that you don't know and you like have to sit in a room and you stare at this painting for a long time. There is something about it. Yeah. It does seem very strange. It's a creepy painting. It's like a, it's like, yeah.

Put this painting in like a guest room for. and then put the people I don't actually want at my house there and that particular. It's the only painting in the room and it faces the bed. It's the only painting. It's a white walls. It's a bed without a bed frame. Like just good luck.

Yeah. So this painting was done by Bill Stoneham in 1972. It was based off a poem from 1971 by somebody called R. Poncetti about the fact that Bill Stoneham had been an orphan as a child. And here's Mathis with a dramatic reading of that poem for you now. Here we go. He is of the seeing visions. His strokes reveal them in a rush of color, of madness of mystics.

And his head is the highest center. It must confront its enemy. The hands resist him like the secret of his birth. His presence is the sanctum heartbeat felt in darkness and in passion. It's sound the soul gift to that silence. Which is genuinely just kind of a cool poem. Just like a legitimately like fairly cool poem about a, a good painter who's an orphan, right?

But yeah, he showed this painting at the Charles Feingarten Gallery in 1974. It was reviewed in the LA Times by Henry Seldis, who's a famous art critic. And shortly thereafter, it was purchased by the guy who plays that, like, scary movie producer guy and the godfather who turns down the favor or whatever. Do you'm talking about? Yes. Yeah. John Marley is that actor's name.

And 10 years later, by 1984, all three men were dead, which is weird on its own. And the painting itself sat abandoned behind a weird brewery type building for the better part of 26 years until somebody, a couple from California, finally found it in the year 2000, only to very quickly turn around and list it on eBay. And here's Jesse with a quote from the listing on the eBay. I dare say the painter took the line of the palm. His head is the highest center a little literally. Yeah, he really. head is a big yeah it's a refrigerator of a face when we received this painting we thought it

was really good art all right at the time we wondered a little why a seemingly perfectly fine painting would be discarded like that today we don't three exclamations one morning our four and a half year old daughter claimed that the children in the picture were fighting and coming into the room during the night. Yeah. And obviously when your daughter says something like this, you just kind of assume that she's scared and she's kind of gassing herself up. And so you tell her, oh, it's okay.

Don't worry. Just go to bed. It'll be fine. But apparently they checked the motion camera and instead of what they expected to see, which was nothing, they literally saw a boy walk out of the painting with the dog, with the doll holding him at gunpoint. What? Okay.

I know. I know. Great thing is it was caught on motion camera. so we have the footage, right? I do have an image of it right here for you from this BBC article about it. You can look at it. It's the painting. The picture is the one second one down.

It's supposed to show the boy being escorted out of the painting by the girl who's holding a gun on him at gunpoint. Don't wait. Do you see it supposed to be from bro? This is that's not a gun. That's the windowsill. Yeah. Look, you look at painting.

It's just. It's the lighting on the, she's holding a sippy cup and the window sill comes to meet the sippy cup to make it look like a really silly gun. Yeah. I mean, look, I can't tell you what's. Yeah. Look, I can't tell you what's real or what's not real. I mean, I can. Listen to this.

Listen to this quote. Now that we got this out of the way, one question to you, eBayers, we want her house to be blessed after this painting is gone. Does anyone know anyone who's qualified to do this? The size of this painting is 24. by 36 inches, so it is rather large. As I have had several questions, here are the following answers. There was no odor left behind in the room. There were no voices or the smell of gunpowder.

No food prints or strange fluids on the walls. It does say food prints. I don't know what that means. To deter questions in this direction, there are no ghosts in this world, no supernatural powers. This is just a painting, and most of these things have an explanation. In this case, probably a fluke lighting effect. I encourage you to bid on the artwork and consider the last two full

photographs as peer entertainment, and please do not take them into consideration when bidding. I have, I have a gripe with the person selling this. You got to commit your man. Like either pick. You can't be like, I don't know, fluke in lighting. Here's all the things that aren't happening, but it's haunted. If you're going to say it's haunted, just commit. That's like there's legally here.

It's like when Trump says something insane and then his people have to go to court and they're like, oh, no, that's not. No, we're not. That's just the thing you say. Did you see Asov going into that guy the other day that was like, why can you not just answer the question? Yeah. It's like, you know, you can say,

what we've learned is you can say anything, but when you go before a judge, you have to say the truth. But until that point, you can say whatever the hell they want. So this is that, this is that thing where it's like, yeah, you know,

we're, don't take it seriously. We don't want to get sued for Lyme, but there you go. But anyway, somebody with a gallery in Grand Rapids, Michigan is the owner of this fine piece of artwork today. And while not much has happened

with the real painting since there are plenty of stories of people buying prints of this painting and feeling ill or confused or getting a headache or feeling like they're being watched. So you know, do with that what you will. I feel like if that's the case, it's more about the subject matter of the painting than it is about any

spirits. But here is Mathis with a quote from the artist himself, Bill Stoneham, to close out this segment. Here we go. Where to begin? Well, I've always had a connection to what Carl Young called the collective unconscious. I think we all do.

Artists, especially visual artists, are barometers for the currents that run through this collective. Dreams are a common experience people may have with this. Anyway, my own experience is a sensitivity to place, physical, geographical place. There are memories, echoes of all the life within a place. Maybe it's what's called channeling. When I painted the hands resist him in 1972. I used an old photo of myself at age five in a Chicago apartment. Oh, maybe he's on the big forehead.

Yeah, dude, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to insult to a gigantic forehead. The hands are the other lives. The glass door, that thin veil between waking and dreaming. The girl slash doll is the imagined companion or guide through this realm. Both the owners of the gallery where Hands was displayed and the Los Angeles Times art critic who reviewed my show were dead within a year of the show. I'm sure it was a coincidence, but some of what I paint resonates in other people,

opening the inner door or basement. By the way, I still have no idea what happened to the cat. character actor who bought the painting at the show. Editor note, it was John Marley who died in 1984. Or how it ended up abandoned in a building, though I could speculate. So there you go. The hands resist him. What do you guys think out of five John Travolta small plush,

1930 style directors berets? How many are you given this thing? In terms of just like if it's haunted or not? Do you want to own this? I don't own this. I don't like have a, I don't have a heavy urge, but like a three.

Three berets out of five. Three berets out of five? Where are you at, Jesse? This is like one out of five for me. It's just visually an upsetting painting. Okay. So Mathis, you seem like you're kind of into it. And Jesse, you seem kind of less into it.

But where do you guys want to put it in your home if you do own it? Or how will you like destroy the forces of evil within it to make sure they never return? It goes in the guest room. I burn it. I burn it. I burn it. I burn it. I burn it.

That's how to deal with this. But what if you let the demon out and then it like goes in, it like possesses your headphones or some shit? You know, it makes music more interesting. So that's fine. Okay. Oh shit.

Okay. I didn't think about that. All right. Okay. Well, that is the hands resistant. That's number one. Number two is Black Aggie by Augustus St.

Goddins from 1891. This one is a statue instead of a painting. But to tell you the history, of this statue, and I'll show you it in a minute. I first have to tell you the story of another statue, which was sculpted by Augustus St. Gaudens, one of the most important American

sculptures of the late 19th century before he finally died in 1907. He sculpted it in honor of Marion Adams, who was the beloved wife of one of John and John Quincy's descendants, a man called Henry Brooks Adams. Okay? And by the way,

shoutouts to prairie ghosts.com for their archive version of the story. link is in the description, et cetera, et cetera. He used to call Marion Clover a sort of a pet name. And in 1885, after her father died, he looked on helplessly as his clover fell into a sad, just dark place, like a depression hole, basically, and eventually decided to end her own life by drinking potassium, which is the most Victorian way of taking your own life that I can think of. Yeah, that's crazy.

Which then sent him into his own sort of like... Is that like potassium? Painful? Like, is that an insane way to go? Probably. I don't know why you do that of all the ways you could do it, but maybe it's like chill to die of potassium. I have no idea. That sent him into his own depression spiral after his wife potassium herself, uh, which then caused him to go on a boy's trip to the exotic new destination of Japan with one of his friends. And apparently he had like an amazing like eat, pray love like centering time when he was off in Japan, which is again, we're in the 1880s right now. Um, and so he's like the first web. He's like, a lost white dude connecting with Asian culture for the first time in our history. Also, I just want to say, you do not want to die via potassium. Jesus, fuck. It's insanely painful. Why would you do that? All right.

Well, I don't know. It's like it flares up like your veins and your like nervous system and shit. It's like, why would you do that? Yeah, basically you get like super cramps, your limbs tingle, and then you become nauseous, you vomit, your whole body hurts. All your muscles grow weak. like I don't this is a terrible way to that doesn't sound good doesn't sound good

someone's dramatic but maybe that's maybe that's why I fucked him up so much maybe he had to watch her go through that and that's the point she was trying to do also that's why he took his voice and have a heart attack and die and die because of it yeah then you have a heart attack and die that sucks uh but he yeah so he

he pray loved in japan for a while to get over his dead wife and then he came back demanding that the like renowned sculpture augustus st. Goddins make him something kind of easterney in his mind to replace his wife's like simple headstone that he had for her at Rock Creek Cemetery in Washington, D.C., right? So he was like, give me something, I'll take that. He said he wanted, he said he wanted something like Buddha meets Michelangelo.

And let me tell you, I've had clients say even crazier things than that to me. So number one, I definitely believe he said that. And number two, I believe that St. Goddins must have been like, fucking what? Like here, take this other thing. Because the thing that he made does not look like Buddha meets Michelangelo, not at all. And by the time he was done with the statue four years later, it was such a striking statue that people came from miles around to see this thing. But Henry Adams never talked about his wife again in public. He was still fucked up about it.

He never named the statue. He never even put an inscription on the statue. And he is said to have rejected the popular title, which has been given to the statue, which is grief. Most people call it that today because it was called that by Mark Twain himself who visited the statue in 19. 1906 and named it. That's rough. That's rough. That's got to be rough as a creator when someone more famous than you comes up and names it something and then that is just what sticks no matter what you say. Right. So Adams hid the statue somewhat. I just want to say that's where where I think years of being a shameless whore pays off. If Mark Twain came, I would have called it Mark Twain's grief.

I would have, you got to like, you got to keep in mind. That's like when Guy Fiatty shows up your restaurant. He's a giant sign outside that said Guy Fieti ate here. That's what I would do. Yeah. Okay. Well, here's the thing I would say about that, right?

Like, have you ever played, uh, like jackbox against your own fans and then lost, uh, a game of jackbox against your own joke that you said five years ago? That's what it feels like. Very specific.

That, uh, that's what it feels like. Are you all right, man? Yeah. It's all I ever hold on to is these moments. Okay. It's all I ever hold on to that statue. It's about me.

No. So yeah, he hit the statue behind some trees and stuff like where it stands in the cemetery, which added even more mystery to the statue. And when people finally got there to look at the statue, they would find that he never even added the inscription. It kind of has this sort of weird, depressing look to it. But the place became kind of like a rite of passage if you went to the Rock Creek Cemetery because it's such a interesting statue to the degree that even after just a few months in the cemetery, Adams already found evidence of at least partial castings of the piece being made sort of discreetly in the night because they'd leave the like casting stuff on the statue. They wouldn't even wipe it off after they took off. They would just get their casting and like peace out. And it is this bootleg version of the sculpture, which was made from one of these castings by Edward L.A. Pausch, which now that you know its origin, I can reveal is the subject of our entry here today. And here it is for you, Black Aggie, the bootleg statue. Give it a look. It looks like the fucking. King and yellow. I don't know what to fucking say about this thing. It's fucking scary and shit. It's like a Jedi man. This is this is Anakin before he kills the younglings. I don't. Yeah. This is like a dirt. This is like a

like this is like a bloodborne asset. Like I don't know what to tell you. It's like a, it's not. I guess. Is there close ups of it? From far away, it just looks like a person in a cloak. Robs. That's exactly what it is. It's like it's like bundled cloak and it's like a person sitting in a chair and they have one

arm up against their face like this and they look very upset. And that's a Agnes underneath? Yes. Yes. It does say Agnes because this is, remember, the bootleg one. This version was obtained sometime in 1905 by a general Felix Agnes, who was the publisher of the Baltimore American out of Baltimore, Maryland when he died. He was born in France in 1839, but by the time he was 13 years old, Felix had already traveled all the way around the world. And by 20, he'd also fought against Austria and the Army of Napoleon III and under General Garibaldi, in Italy and eventually in 1960 he found his way over to New York in America where he began

working at Tiffany's like as in the lamps like he was working as like a like a craftsman or something at Tiffany's I don't know yeah exactly uh then even though he'd already been in two wars he ended up fighting in the fucking American Civil War too as a Union Army private until he rose all the way up through the ranks to Brigadier General what that must suck so bad the crazy thing fucking private in the Civil War. God damn. After two other wars and he's only 26. He's only 26 this time after fighting all three of these wars.

Three wars in those era like that's that's a hell. Like oh my good. Like everybody's dying from like gang green foot and shit and it's just like a disaster. To be honest, having been in two prior wars, he was probably better off than most of the people fighting the civil war. He was probably more ready for it at the very least. For a second, Jesse, you were about to like say as some. someone who's been in two prior wars. As someone who has fought on the battlefield.

Yeah, as someone who's stolen so much valor, I really feel like I know. His own share of valor. Yeah. General Jesse Cox. Rear Admiral Cox, if you will. Oh, yes.

Laser wars of USA skates. Private Cox. The Space War, the Space Force Wars. Right. Grand Admiral Throcks, they call me. Yeah, the only way,

the only way he was able to do this was by fighting in like battle after battle after battle. He caught something like, 12 bullet and saber wounds to the point that he quote rattled when he walked and finally though at the battle of Gaines Mill in Virginia

wait hold on hold on you're like TSD kind of guy like oh so many bullets when he walked he was shaky or do you mean he had so many bullets in him it jangled yes he jangled like he had keys on him at all times no way no way I mean look apocrypha but it's true

finally though at the Battle of Gaines Mill in Virginia in 1862 he was injured so bad in the shoulder that he had to retreat to Baltimore, where he received treatment and met his own eventual wife, Annie, who was the daughter of then publisher of the Baltimore American newspaper, Charles Carroll Fulton. She nursed him back to health after meeting him when he got off his medical steamer at the docks near the Pratt Street Pier in Baltimore. And after the war, he came back to Baltimore and he married her and he settled himself there in town, working at various high-ranking positions all over the place until eventually taking over for his father-in-law at the newspaper, where he worked

until he died. He bought the bootleg grief statue in 1905 after seeing the real one himself at Rock Creek Cemetery in Washington. He built a similar looking monument for it on his own family plot. And he placed that his family gravesite first when he buried his mother, who he had brought across the Atlantic Ocean from France, specifically to bury her, which is crazy because again, he's French. And about a year later, the widow of the original sculptor, St. Goddins, told Henry Adams, the guy who commissioned the original about the bootleg, which she described as a poor reproduction made of boring gray stone instead of the pink granite that the original was made of, and lacks much of the original surrounding stonework, right? Like, it's just literally the body of the statue that looks the same.

St. Goddain's widow also accused General Agnes of being, quote, a good deal of a barbarian to copy a work of art in such a way. But Angus claimed that he was tricked by art dealers. And when she asked him then she was like fine then file a suit against them if you fucking got screwed by them he fucking did and he won 4,500 dollars which is a shitload of money back then uh but he never got rid of the statue like he said he would and by 1925 when he and his wife were both dead they were both buried under the bootleg statue which was often nicknamed aggie by now by passers by thanks to the fact that it said angus underneath it on the stone so they shortened angus to aggie somehow um and like i said though the statue was a dull gray, right?

Since most people who came to see this one came at night, eventually Agi evolved into black Aggie. And eventually people were telling the story of an old mysterious statue that had eyes that glowed at the stroke of midnight and that people who got caught in its gaze had been dealt terrible fates like instant blindness or like a miscarriage. Like if they got looked at by the statue in the middle of night. So now that that story got out there pretty soon, college students were spending the night in her arms overnight to prove that they were man

enough for their frats. And they were telling stories of this statue with these big strong hands, which once came to life and crushed a man to death. And then another guy they found dead in front of the statue one time who just had a heart attack and died out of fear at the statue's feet. In 1962, a sheet metal worker was accused of sawing off the statue's arms in the night. And he told the judge that Aggie had cut it off herself as part of her grieving process and gave it to him to take care of. Did not work out well for him. He went to jail.

But after a while, though, the legends made the statue way too popular. And in addition to having its arms cut off, tons of disrespectful onlookers had come by on the years since doing all kinds of crazy stuff to it, like scratching their names into it and trampling the grass around it and stuff, which created the legend that maybe no grass grows at the base of the statue, maybe. Maybe that's where that came from. Yeah. And eventually, the restorations required got so bad and so numerous that the family was

eventually forced to donate the statute to the Smithsonian. They were just like, fuck it. But apparently, after realizing that the Smithsonian had zero interest in showing something that could possibly crush passerby or kill their unborn babies with a glance, the Smithsonian never put it on display. And they themselves gave it away to the National Museum of Art, which confusingly is now called the Smithsonian American Art Museum, where it sat in storage for years, gathering dust, because they actually got an authorized recasting of it instead, and they just used that.

So this one just sat in the back of the, as a backup or something, until it was rediscovered by the Baltimore newspaper reporter Shara Turjung in 1996 and transported to the rear courtyard of the Dali Madison House on Lafayette Square. I'm looking at you Hamilton fans in Washington, D.C. Back at the Druid Ridge Cemetery, however, where the pedestal stood, there was just nothing now. The grave site is just empty. So now we're almost ready to give this one a rating. But before we do, here is Jesse with a quote from the article on prairie ghosts.com.

Were the stories told about Aggie merely urban legends and eerie tales told about a spooky piece of graveyard art? Some thought so, while others weren't so sure. One man that was able to interview, I was able to interview, who we'll call Frank, grew up in the New Jersey. Jersey area and became intrigued with the stories of Black Aggie, especially after a strange event that took place in the early 1950s. Was what happened just a coincidence or something more? I'll let you be the judge. Oh, we're doing it. Okay. One night, Frank and two of his friends came down to Baltimore from Atlantic City for a visit. They wanted to see some young women they had met previously while the girls were in New Jersey on vacation.

The group decided to go sightseeing, and one of the stops they made that night was to see the legendary statue of Black Aggie. Young women took them to the cemetery and told them a story or two about the monument. Frank and his friends walked over for a closer look, curious to see, as the girls told them, if anyone had placed coins in Aggie's hands for good luck,

as was the local tradition. They didn't find any coins, but Frank's friend Freddy, who I assume that's not his real name, Freddie thought it would be funny to snuff out his cigarette in Aggie's hand instead. We told him not to,

Frank later recalled, but Freddie just laughed. He didn't believe any of that stuff. About 10 years later, Freddie was found in a dump in South Carolina. He had been shot in the back of the head, mafia style. They never found out who did it.

Frank paused for a moment and appeared thoughtful. It's been many years now, but still never forget the feeling that I had standing in front of Agu that night, as if she knew the future and could see what lay ahead for us. It's going to take 10 years and it won't be related unless he's saying Black Ague shot this man in the back of the head. With her strong hands. Yeah. Yeah. So what do you guys think? Out of five can Travolta Toppers, what do we got?

This is like, this is a five for me. This doesn't affect me in any sort of way. It just looks like you want that. I'd have it. Yeah, you want this. I put in my backyard. You love it. Like, like with a pool or something, you know.

You're not worried about it like striking you, striking you blind or crushing you in its race. I realized something about myself as I read that story, which was, even though I am not necessarily believer in things, I also don't push my luck. See, this Freddie guy was an asshole. He went up there and he put that cigarette. I would never would have done that. I would have been like, this isn't real.

And I would have gone about my way. He tempted fate. and that asshole got shot in the back of the head by a statue 10 years later. It more, it speaks to what kind of life he had more that he's the type of person that would put a cigarette out on a piece of art. Yeah. Unnecessary. Oh, yeah.

Don't do that. Maybe that has more to do with how he ended up in the dump. You actually, yes, yes. It might be more. Yeah. Five and five on Black Aggie, huh? That's not what I thought, but it is a very, like, cool. Yeah, I mean, it's just, it literally, there's nothing creepy about the statue.

It's all in the story. It's just a statue. It's a pretty, it's pretty austere. I'll say that. Like if it was one of those ones that, that like, uh,

looked, you know how there's like some of the stone work that looks like the cloth is barely dripping off the body or whatever? Yeah. And underneath that was like a sexy skeleton. You know what I mean? What's like one of the skeletons? Yes.

That's sexy body, but then when it shows the face is just a skeleton. Then I'd be like, first off, I'd want that more, but also that's more haunted. Yeah. It's haunting.

It's haunting. It's haunting. Okay. Number three is gloomy Sunday. by Reggio Serres and Laslo Javour from 1933. This next piece of haunted art is actually a song, which I thought was kind of a neat tag for a story. But in this case, I would describe the actual story

I'm about to tell you about this song as anything but neat because Gloomy Sunday is the sad Hungarian song that not only supposedly makes people kill themselves when they hear it, but also that the woman who... But also that the woman who the song was originally about killed herself after it came out and that the composer himself eventually committed suicide as well.

So shoutouts to Snopes for this story, which is basically the only site I could go to for this one because there are so many different versions of the story out there that claim to be factual. But what's worse is that even Snopes has this one's status as undetermined because even they don't know what's real anymore at Snopes, which is fucked up.

So I'll just tell you the story as it comes and I'll let you guys be the judge. basically the song was written like I said in 1933 by two Hungarians the composer rejo Ceres and the lyricist lazlo Javour sorry about these pronunciations originally the song had the title the world is ending and featured lyrics about the horrors that follow war and prayer for people's sins in an increasingly fascist country uh relatable before javor a poet wrote the version that took off gloomy sunday uh but it apparently didn't get popular until about two or three years later when it was recorded, finally,

in 1935 by Pal Kalmar. Remember, before this, people just bought sheet music. And following rumors of its suicide, inspiring effects in Hungary, it was translated into English and made the rounds in America as sort of like the quote unquote Hungarian suicide song meme, if you will. People were like listening to it because of this reputation and ad. And even Billy Holiday eventually ended up recording like a an iconic version of Gloomy Sunday in 1941. It's like that internet meme from, probably a decade ago now. What was it,

Momo or whatever? That weird image if you saw online, it would cause you to kill yourself. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. That like weird face. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Here's Mathis with Snope's direct translation of the lyrics into English for us, which should be safe for even the most paranoid listeners without its musical accompaniment. So don't worry too much. Here's Mathis.

Sunday is gloomy. My hours are slumberless. Dearest, shadows I live with are numberless. Little white flowers will never awaken you, not where the black coach of sorrow has taken you. Angels have no thought of ever returning you. Would they be angry if I thought of joining you?

Gloomy Sunday. Gloomy Sunday. The shadows I spend it all. My heart and I have decided to end it all. Soon there will be candles and prayers that are sad. I know. Death is no dream, for in death I'm caressing you. with the last breath of my soul

I'll be blessing you gloomy Sunday bright little song happy joy of a window now goodbye it's a sad song but now let's see what snowped to say about the stories themselves were 17 suicides

connected to the song before it was allegedly banned in Hungary that's the first question while acknowledging that hungry has historically high suicide rate on its own sorry hungry they did say that the number of suicides and casual connection between them

and the song, which was a current popular song about suicide, could create a connection. Explained by the quote, only when one particular song was coincidentally linked to a sufficient number of suicides to draw attention to all the suicides in which it played a part, did people start to claim that it was somehow the cause of these deaths? Basically, everybody was already committing suicide and there was a popular song about suicide and because of that occurring at the same time people started to conflate the two things that's like a crazy statement by the way because everyone's killed themselves like a song about kill themselves just seemed like pretty good a hungry hungry suicide rate was absolutely insane it was like

50 people out of 10,000 or something like that in 1984 it's like a high rate yeah another instance of history just kind of repeating itself this similar thing happened when netflix's series the 13th reason why yeah uh came out and they they was a notable people thought rise of like suicide and use but it was kind of more of a correlation rather than a causation because it was like it didn't really change it's like mass romance it's like it's like uh it's like uh it's like uh those isa kai's that were happening where like they banned them in china or something because like kids kept trying to kill themselves to like go back in time and shit like that it's crazy research for for 13th reason i was looking it up is uh they found a

28.9 percent spike in suicide rates among us youths age 10 to 17 in april of 2017, the month immediately following the show's premiere. Oh, fucking. Like, how do you even, like, square yourself with that if you were, like, involved in that show? It's like crazy. But then, okay, was there a ban, though? Did the ban actually happen? So according to David Mickelson, who did this Snopes investigation, he couldn't find any

official nationwide ban for the song, but he speculated that, quote, some Hungarian municipalities may have instituted some types of possibly voluntary restrictions on the song. song, but that there was no nationwide band on Glooming Sunday, which is not totally a no, right? Like, it could be that at the time when people were having this conversation about this meme of this song that makes you kill yourself, that locally people were like, hey, be careful, there's this song. And maybe it's not in good taste to play this song right now. But I don't think they were like trying to contain some kind of like weird like death no

desk. Mine virus type thing. Yeah. So then what about the supposed, what supposedly happened when the song came to a mirror? and the UK in English, and the worldwide gloomy Sunday suicide count climbed from 17 to 200. Was that real? Were there really, quote, young jazz fans that got bodied by Billy Holiday like that? Well, here is Jesse with a quote. Likewise, while some sources say that there were no restrictions whatsoever placed on the song in the USA, others claim that it was banned from the airwaves.

sometimes the band is said to have been directed at a particular version of the song, such as Billy Holiday's recording of it. Some sources even claim that a sort of compromised ban was enacted as many radio stations played only the instrumental version of the song. It's also probably worth mentioning that according to many sources, the English version of the song with vocals was banned by the BBC from the 40s until about 2002, though apparently it didn't leave as much of a dark legacy, according to this quote from BBC News in 2015, which Mathis will read for us now.

Okay. So yeah, now you, Mathis, now you read the second quote. New rules banning larger retailers from opening on Sundays came into force on the 15th of March, and while small family run shops are exempt, supermarkets, including Tesco, aren't allowed to trade. Several critics of the move have responded by taking a famous Hungarian song from the 1930s, Gloomy Sunday, and updating it with shopping-themed lyrics. Two versions of the song have appeared, both despairing over the new regulations with one

penned by well-known poet, Belarigo. Another version features the lyrics, Next Sunday, Tesco will be closed. From then on, every Sunday will be gloomy. There's even a melancholy violin solo. Sad songs aside, the new shopping restrictions have gone down badly with many Hungarians, who say they enjoy having the freedom to shop where they like. on a Sunday. I work every day of the week, including Saturday.

So Sunday is my only chance to come out with my family. One man told the index news website before the new rules came in. In the smaller shops, everything's very expensive. So after, if you wait long enough, a ban on something that's because people are killing themselves by listening to it can become a fun sort of protest song about what day shopping days are. And you can use the tragedy that define the song in the, in the meme in a lighthearted way. Pretty crazy.

As far as the story about Javor's ex-girlfriend killing herself once he wrote the song about her, that is likely just some extra sauce that's been added on after a while as the years have gone by. But it's worth mentioning anyway for the ghost story vibes at least because as the story goes, after she did it, the note that she left read only gloomy Sunday, which is kind of like gothic romancy, right? Yeah, very much. Aesthetic.

But sadly, it is true that Regio Ceres, the kind of, the conversation, the kind of, composer of the song really did jump to his death from a building in Budapest in 1968, which was said to have possibly, but likely just romantically been related to the fact that he had never once written another hit after Gloomy Sunday, which is sad. In the year since, the song has carried off, carried a bit of a reputation and at least two movies have been made about the song, including one, 2006 is the Kovac box where a rider gets trapped on an island with people who have microchips put into them. make them kill themselves when they hear gloomy Sunday.

So that's the legacy of gloomy Sunday. So first thing. Not where I thought that was going, but okay. Nope. Not at all. How many artsy John Travolta reboot hats out of five are we talking gloomy Sunday, the song? Would you listen to this song?

Would you, would you buy a record, a copy of this record? I would listen to it once out of curiosity, but I feel like this is a thing I wouldn't buy simply because it sounds depressing and sad. Like, I don't. It is.

It is. It doesn't sound like a song I would just put on to drive down the road, you know what I mean? So out of five? Like a two. Okay, two? What do you say, Mathis? Yeah, I'd be maybe even lower than that of one.

I don't really, I don't think it's haunted or anything, but like, I don't really. What if you guys like, like, you guys had to like come up with like, like, like, imagine you hear gloomy Sunday and it like makes you like have to kill yourself. But then like there's like another song that you play that like if you play it's like the antidote to gloomy Sunday. The antidote of it? Yeah. What song is that on?

What song is that? Uh, what song is the antidote? Happy Mondays? It's simple and clean, the introduction of Kingdom Hearts. Oh my God. That's an incredible answer. Really is. I can't, I can't beat that.

You can't beat simple and clean, the happiest song ever made? Yeah. The song that makes you want to live the most. I love that. Yeah, how can you? If I don't get to listen to that and I end up killing myself, I'm going to be very annoyed the whole time. I feel like the perfect counter is the song,

I want to dance with somebody because I feel like that song like all evils warded off. I want to feel that with somebody. If somebody was in my house, they would probably like leave if I played that.

Like if somebody's waiting to take me out while they're in my house. Yeah, they'd be like, there's no reason. Yeah, there's no reason. It just comes out of his bedroom to that song. So yeah.

I start throwing on gloomy Sunday for myself. Right. Of course, I got it. ask before we move on to the next one. A rating is one thing, but do you guys want to hear it? Of course. Ultimately, I leave it up to you, but for the boys.

Yeah, of course I want to hear it. For the boys, I offer you the very same Billy Holiday version that's going to be linked in the show notes. I call that a fucking legend trip. Just give it a shot. It's probably prettier than you think it is. You know what it sounds like? And this is going to sound crazy. Do you, I don't know how much you watch these.

I imagine if your parents, especially the audience, if your parents are in their 70s, or 80s. This is the kind of movie you would catch them watching a black and white film where it's like, like, oh, geez, mister. And this is the music that plays

in the background. It's like, oh, no, he's ruining a ball game. It's like a common, like a calm scene from the movie Nightmare Alley. Like not a scary scene or a sad scene, just like a normal scene from Nightmare Alley.

It's like, yeah, it's like, yeah, it's super old time. Fallout. fall i was going to say i was not going to say fallout but like it does have in today's world most people most people know this as fallout type music i shouldn't say unfortunately fallout's a great franchise yeah uh but it's a beautiful song it's sad as fuck but it's a beautiful song and nobody's dead so it's all good the next one is i took by todd carroll 1982 uh so mathis have you seen

the movie the ring yes what do you know about this movie seven days baby yeah you there's a tape yeah it's like a scary it's kind of a scary home movie, which actually turns out to be something that's not a home movie, but no spoilers for the movie. But when you see it, you'll get a phone call seven days. And then you die of like, it comes out of the TV. Yeah, then you get ringgoode, dude. Then you get ringued.

Don't get ringooed. I prefer the American version of the grudge with Bill Paxson. Geller. Is that for you? Yeah. Yeah. Movies terrible. I liked the first grudge.

All right. Anyway, now, imagine for today's purposes that there was a real. movie that could kill you, just like the ring movie, but that much like the play version of the King in Yellow, it's never been made because everybody who read the script dies. Sounds crazy, right? But it's not totally untrue either, except that you probably didn't expect the movie to be Alaska to New York Fish Out of Water Comedy, Atuk, which just in case you don't speak the language translates to grandfather in like Inuit or something like that, right? I don't know the names of all the Alaska native languages, but it's like the word for grandfather. Shout out to

dark hauntings and odd things I've seen for the story for this one. So the screenplay for Atuk was written by Todd Carroll in 1982, but it was based of a Canadian novel from 1963, the incomparable Atuk by Mordecai Richelor, which is the story of an Inuit poet from Baffin Island Nunavut, who is dropped into and slowly corrupted by a sudden shift to living in bustling Toronto. And he's taking advantage of and he learned some lessons and he you know it's like that kind of movie right it's like a fish out of water comedy right however the screenplay version moves a took home uh moves his home from from baffan island to alaska and it changes out Toronto and moves it slightly south to new york city and has attook stowing away in the airplane of a beautiful documentarian before being snuck into

america across the canadian border where he starts a new life so once he's there he slowly befriends a millionaire real estate mogul whom he eventually realizes is using him to help develop a giant city in the place of giant swaths of Alaskan wilderness. And then he like ruins the project and it's like a feel good ending. And he escapes with the babe that he got here with and he made friends with a millionaire's son, Bishop. And now they all escaped because apparently his dad's a dick and they go to Hawaii and start a family together or something.

Now, obviously, this is the kind of exact simple. cute little screwball comedy premise, which fits perfectly among other movies from that era, like a 10 or trading places or a movie like that. It's like in that zone, right? Like late 70s, early 80s movie, feel good comedy with the like class comedy, right? And that is exactly the type of lovable comedian actor

that they wanted to cast in this movie. And first things first, they went for John Belushi from Saturday Night Live, who was hilarious and weird and still very fresh off of, of like Animal House and Blues Brothers at this time. And obviously, in the modern day, this is not the kind of casting we like to see for Alaska Natives,

because that's weird. But it would have been perfect at the time, except for one thing. On March 5th, 1982, just weeks after reading the script, John Belushi died of a drug overdose at the legendary Chateau Marmont Hotel, which towers over the sunset strip in Hollywood, at just 33 years old. That would be like if I died five years ago.

That's crazy. Anyway, this killed not only John Belushi, but it killed a project as well, at least for like six years until 1988, when they cast 34-year-old comedian Sam Kinnison in the part. And even this version of the movie went into production at United Artists. They almost, I think they ran cameras on a couple of scenes, but it wasn't working. And then there was some kind of strange thing where Sam Kinnison didn't like how the scenes were going. and he was trying to rewrite scenes because his agent told him that he had creative control even though his agent didn't clear it with the studio

or something like that. So everybody was mad at each other and the production stalled and the studio sued him because he like said he was somebody he allegedly said that he was going to do a bad job on purpose to tank the movie out of spite. So the studio also sued him, which stalled the movie and then four years.

But Sam was fine though, right? Nothing happened to Sam? Not immediately, but four years later, he was struck head on by a drive drunk driver on Needles Highway in Needles, California, tragically, famously. And here is a bizarre quote for Jesse to read about Sam Kinnison's last words. Kinnison's last words were reportedly stated as he was staring at something or someone while in a diagonal position, leaning on the middle console. His brother told him, some help is on the way. Sam repeatedly said,

why now? he asked, but why? I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. I don't want to die. Like he was negotiating with someone. And after another pause said, okay, okay, okay. Knessen died shortly after. He was 38 years old. His brother,

who was with him, recalled whatever voice was talking to him, gave him the right answer, and he just relaxed with it. Which, by the way, one point out, Sam Kinnison not known to be the relaxed guy. No,

yeah, not at all. Have you ever seen him do stand-up comedy? It's like blood pressure. loud and aggressive is the best way to describe it. This time, however, this only delayed development of the movie by about two years instead of four. And in the first weeks of 1994, the star of Uncle Buck and Space Balloshe was given the script to read. Okay, but John Candy is going to be fine though, right? Yeah, he makes it.

He's one of the greats. He was, but then he read the script and a few weeks later on March 4th, 1994, just one day off from the 12th anniversary of John Belushi's death, John Candy died of a heart attacking his sleep while filming wagons east in Durango, Mexico at the age of 43, which is the opposite of the age 34. Does that matter? I don't know. Numerology. Additionally, according to some sources, which is kind of creepy, Candy's close friend

Michael O'Donohue from SNL, had read through the script along with Candy only to die unexpectedly of a cerebral hemorrhage later that same year. Once again, this sent Atook into hibernation for a couple years until 1997. When who else, but Chris Farley was reportedly extremely interested in the part. Okay, but Chris Farley's going to make it though, right? At first he did. At first he did. Partially, the reason that Farley was checking in on him right now. The worst part is, is that the reason that Chris Farley was interested in playing the part was because he knew that his hero, John Belushi, wanted to play the part.

He read the script and was ready to accept the role. But on December 18th, 1997, he too was found. dead in his apartment in Chicago after overdosing on a speedball, which in case you don't know is like cocaine and morphine mixed together. And he was also 33 the same year as his hero fucking John Balushi. Tragic. Now, as in poor taste as this entry, already kind of is. The last piece goes even further. And I'm going to leave it squarely at the feet of the dark haunting blog's own words. So I'm going to have Mathis read that straight from the blog instead of trying to say to my own words.

Could there have been a final victim? Phil Hartman was good friends with Farley. He reportedly read the script with Farley and encouraged to take the co-starring role. Five months later, Hartman's drunken wife committed a murder suicide by shooting him whilst he was in bed before shooting herself. Yeah, man.

So was he a victim of it too? I don't know. I mean, obviously, I would be remiss here without pointing out the obvious, which is that most of the main people I've mentioned here, the part was for like a big fat guy in their mid 30s. And indeed, many of the more heavyset and possibly drug addicted actors out there were already very prone to early death.

I was going to say, like, especially in like the Hollywood sphere, like they were fucking party. And didn't Chris, but also really notably was like, I'm going to die young. With all the people mentioned. Yeah. Except I don't know. He took a speedball. But no, he got shot. He got shot while he was sleeping.

That's different. Michael Donahue is crazy. Yeah. And, you know, I'm saying, you know, they were already kind of in a bad demographic, but the odd things I've seen cite, the article on this took it even a step further in this quote, which I'll have Jesse read for you now, which I thought was kind of interesting to think about. The desk of Belushi Candy and Farley also vector on another supposedly curse screenplay based on the

John Kennedy tool novel, a Confederacy of Dunces. The story is about a delusional, unemployed. man who lives with his mother. The book came out in 1980, 11 years after Toul suicide at the age of 31. The actors were each up to play the story's main character, Ignatius Jacques Riley, who also fits their similar personas. Instead of Kinnison this time, though, the fourth victim was divine, the hefty drag queen, an actor from John Waters' troop. He died at age 42 due to enlarge heart. Yeah. So if you look at movies from the time that were maybe going to be made that starred fat people, you'll find that a lot of them were cursed screenplays, is what they're saying.

And for the record, the screenplays writer Todd Carroll doesn't think the script he wrote is haunted. He thinks it's, quote, either a coincidence or practical explanation. I'm not a superstitious person and it doesn't have any meaning to me. But I will let you guys be the judge. It sounds to me like he's just tired of being asked about it. But now that we're here, it's time to decide. How many plush little Easter colored Danny Zucco Berets out of five are we given the Atuk screenplay? I want it. I don't want it

out of a five, but a four. You'd read this? So like some history, like never mind whether it's haunted or not. The history of the character, the actors lined up to play the character of this particular movie in and of itself is historical and kind of legendary. So for that alone, be like, this curse,

quote, quote script had A list after A list or after A list or after A list or want to play it and never happen. That's cool. So you're a four. I'm a four. Okay. What about you, Jesse? As we've discussed, uh, I don't like to take chances.

So, you know, as a fat dude who's older than all of these guys, uh, I'm going to say three out of five. Like, you know, I'll read it, but also if I die, it's expected. Like, it's just expected. Yeah. Yeah. So would you guys cast yourself as Atuk or would you cast somebody else? I wouldn't.

Somebody else. Yeah, I'd cast John Travolta. Oh, there you go. Yeah, there you go. He'd probably make the movie.

He'd probably direct the movie now. He's so excited about that. Or maybe we should review bomb the movie online before it comes out so that it never gets released. And the studio decides to take an owl on the movie instead. So now for the last one, we're going to come back around. I tried to keep it as varied in the mediums of art as possible. But obviously,

the most haunted art out there is paintings. So we're going to end with one more painting. That painting is young girl in a, Fan fiction. Oh, yeah. This painting is Young Girl and a Red Dress glaring into the distance

by unknown, unknown year. And finally, this epic tale begins. This is the insane story of a haunted painting that someone bought from a charity,

which was made even more insane because we initially covered this on the show, I think, some time ago. And I believe that the story has progressed since then.

So you're not going to hear me say this much, but shoutouts to the Daily Mail for this story. This is the story of Zoe Elliott Brown

who bought this fairly ugly portrait of a girl in a red dress of unknown origin from Hastings Advice Representation Center shop in St. Leonard's on C. Oh, no, this is haunted. Back in July of 2023, even after she was worn by the shopkeeper and a sticky note on the painting itself that it was quote, possibly cursed. So what are we dealing with here, gang? What does this thing look like?

Kind of watercolor-y, right? It looks, okay. So it is a painting of a young woman. staring directly at the viewer. She's wearing a red dress. And the way, the best way to describe this woman is imagine someone was going through liver failure, but then they put makeup on to cover that up.

Okay. You know what I mean? Like a jaundiced. Like a jaundiced. Old madam. Yes, but she's a young girl. But she has like the aesthetic and look of someone who's 70 years older than she is. Yeah, like the hair on the side, like bring her to a shaved head because she has that like peak.

She looks like 11 from stranger things. A little bit. I see that. It's like Emily Dickinson. Bobby Brown in there. Little Dr. Evil. But the weird thing is because the way it was painted, be it, I don't know, charcoal or.

Spit. I don't know what this is. Yeah. It looks like, yeah, some kind of like, whatever it is. It has an or like the art has an aura to it. Yeah. I do not like this painting. I would not.

Yeah. It would not catch my eye. For 20 pounds, that's pretty good deal. Yeah. This is a painting. I would have seen when I was going to Catholic school and like the nuns where the nuns live. So it's been like in the hallway, but like one of them when they were young. Sure.

Yes, exactly. And much like Mathis probably would, she was convinced that she had to get this thing after she heard that the previous owner of the painting had already returned it to the shop because it supposedly, quote, ruined her life. And what else did she do but show it to her mom who was in the shop with her? And her mom suddenly became transfixed by it, begging her to buy it. And apparently, as soon as they brought it home, it completely turned their lives upside down. Almost immediately, their terrier Silla hated the shit out of it, growling at it and refusing to go, quote, anywhere near it.

And then her mom would, your dog Smitty would react exactly the same. My dog Smitty would react that way to literally everything that happens in this house. You hear him do it all the time. Then her mom started having hot flashes, which got so bad that she constantly had to wear four jumpers at once just to keep warm. even as she slowly seemed to grow more obsessed and, quote, weirdly protective of the painting, with Jane, the mom,

even admitting to the Daily Mail that she had stroked the girl's cheek. Here's Mathis with a quote from the daughter, Zoe. I think this lady was just going through menopause? I don't know, dude. I've never seen my mom want something so much. She was fascinated by it, but not like in a positive way. She was weirdly protective over it.

She was continually staring at, at it. She was running her fingers over its cheekbones. She polished it even though it didn't need polishing. Anyway, mention of getting rid of it, she got really snappy. It's like some family heirloom she's become protective over her. My mom was point blank refusing to get rid of the picture. I guess it is a bit like the power and Lord of the Rings. It's definitely really enchanting. I mean, it kind of draws you into it, but then you don't really want to be near it at the same time. it is almost a bit like gollum in Lord of the Rings. This person really had one specific reference point.

Literally, yeah, literally the article is called like, she had like a gollum like obsession with the painting or something. But now here's Jesse with the mom's side of the story, Jane's side of the story. I was quite taken with it. I felt like it was a very unhappy young girl. And there was something about it. You wanted to cheer up?

I've got a picture in the house of my mom. minute and I stroke her cheek and I did the same to the girl because it just seems unhappy. There was something about it that made me want to bring her home and cheer her up. There were a few odd things. Someone kept tapping on the door and there was nobody there. I was overheating and not feeling quite right. I personally didn't put down to the picture, Zoe did. She felt odd about it ever since it's been here. It just feels like a Midwestern mom of just being like, oh, I just wanted, like, I needed to take care of it. She needed somebody to take care of.

And the fact that she's like, I stroke my mom's cheek in the picture immediately tells me that her stroking the cheek of the picture is not that weird. No, that's just how that's the type of person. She's like names her cars and stuff like that. She needed to take care of her. She needed a nice, one place to live. But regardless of the cause, apparently things did get pretty shaky with Jane eventually getting so hot that she passed out in the bathroom. Zoe called the ambulance, but then eventually canceled it

when her mom came around and stayed overnight with her mom at her house instead. The next morning. The next morning, the next morning. When she wakes up, her mom is there,

stroking the painting's cheek again. Her mom has no memory of what happened the previous night. And even weeks later, her mom was still vacant and refused to talk about the painting. But that's not where the story ends because two weeks later,

Zoe and her partner, Ben, are on a walk a few miles from home and try, to watch a cool lightning storm. That's what they're up to. But suddenly, as they come to a clearing, a big black figure stood in their way. And here's Mathis with the quote.

We both looked at this figure thing and said, what is that at the same time? He grabbed me and we began running back the way we had come. Ben was screaming that I was right behind him. I didn't clock that it could be anything to do with the picture, but then I've never, ever been chased by a dark figure in a lightning storm.

It was the most terrifying experience. of both our lives. Yeah. So truly shook. Zoe drove back to return the painting to the shop the next day. And when she rolled up to the shop, she noticed that when she got there,

there was now a screw sticking out of one of her car's brand new tires, which is crazy. And then she walked into the shop, returned the painting, and told the shopkeeper to be careful who they sell it to, and then left. But then curiosity eventually got the better of her.

And she went back to the shop after a few days to see what happened to it. And here is a picture of her with the painting and its new warning label that it had on. it which you guys can look at right here. Jesus. You see what it says on the...

He's back. Yeah. It was what the sign says. It says, she's back. What is it? Something sold twice and returned twice. Are you brave enough is what it says? And you know, I'd be like, damn, she's really trying to make like a buck with the story,

but she's selling it for $20, like 20 pounds or euros or... Yeah, she's, that's just what the shop had it sold for. But here's, here's Jesse with a quote from Zoe about why she eventually ended up buying and taking the painting home herself again. I don't think any normal person should go and get it as a joke. The manager had taken it from the window and he said he really wanted it out of the shop. He said technically it's still yours and asked, will I take it? I wanted to get it to someone who actually knows about this stuff and can do something positive with it.

I thought knowing my luck, some idiot will go and get it and try and burn it. And I don't really want to be left with the remainder of whatever the hell's been going. on. See, that's how you shouldn't burn paintings, Jesse. Technically, you shouldn't burn them in general. Technically, I was the last owner. I want it dealt with properly. My friend said, if you're going to

collect it, make sure you're going to seal it up in a box and put some sage with it. I was hoping the sage would cleanse it a bit. We put sage all around the corners of my mom's house too, which she wasn't best pleased about. And there

you have it, boys. The weird red painting from the shop in the Daily Mail. So I ask you one last time if John Travolta dressed up like the street fighter version of a singing in the rain character, complete with a round glasses and appropriate faux French headwear, how many of those would there be out of five for this painting? This painting? Yeah. I just, this is another painting that goes in the guest room kind of painting. You know what I mean? This is a scary one.

This is a, this is the room where the plushies stand still. This is the, this is the clown room. This is going in the clown room. in my house. You know what I mean? I don't have one of those, but if I had one, this painting will be it. I'm going to go with a two. Two berets out of five for me. Because I'm not like, if it was thrust upon me, I could find a place in my abode where I can keep it. I don't have to look at it too often. And there's some sort of value, but I don't want it. Somebody sent me like a really scary like a Cthulu painting one time. And like I didn't get rid of it, but I couldn't hang

anywhere because it's like really scary so I just whip it out and like admire it from time to time. I love that. Yeah. Uh, what about you, Jesse? Out of five. I mean, I don't like it as a painting. So it's not a beautiful painting. I'm not particularly scared of it, but it isn't one that I would ever hang. So let's say like three out of five. I'll take that. Do you guys have any suggestions for professional that she should contact to properly deal with the painting. Maybe John Constantine or somebody like that. I feel like there's got there. I mean, it's England. There's got to be someone. I feel like there are wizards that just do stuff like this. Yeah, call Grant. There's got to be a, I don't come down battles the spirits of young girls trapped in

paintings. Yeah, go to Glasgow. Yeah. Road trip. All right. So, yeah, there we go. With that, folks, this episode on haunted art is now complete. I hope you had a good time exploring the boundaries between what's real and what's fake and what's true and what's not what's not true in the summer of secrets. Next week, I'll be back with another totally different wild ride as our summer of secrets truly kicks off with a conspiracy-laden and just absolutely unexplainable crazy man. And if you're a patron who's sticking around for the minisode, we will see you there in just a few seconds. Now, this gets out of here. That's it. Like you just said, we'll see him a few minutes over there. We'll be back with

another episode next week. We appreciate what you love you. Goodbye. Bye. Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night, enjoying ourselves. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I stepped back inside. And after a few moments, I hear my wife go, holy shit, get out here. So I quickly dashed back outside. She's looking up in the sky and I look up to you. And there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky.