Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 372: The Lost Tombs of Jesse Cox

Episode Date: October 25, 2026

THE TIME OF THE MUMMY would never be complete unless Jesse took Alex and Mathas on a journey through history’s mysteries, examining some of the lost tombs of the ancient world’s most important leaders!CHILLUMINATI is a weekly comedy podcast hosted by Mike Martin, Jesse Cox and Alex Faciane. Hold on to your tin-foil hats and traverse the realms of the mysterious, supernatural, spooky and sometimes truly horrible - and your third eye will never be the same!Subscribe to our Patreon to support us and for extra content like full video episodes, weekly Minisodes, exclusive art, and more at http://patreon.com/CHILLUMINATIPODThank you to our sponsors:MINT MOBILE: To get your new wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to www.mintmobile.com/chillCASHAPP: Download Cash App today and make your money work for you. Click here to get started: [[https://capl.onelink.me/vFut/eikoiw62] #CashAppPartnerCash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App’s bank partner(s). Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC. Cash App Visa® Debit Flex Cards issued by Sutton Bank, Member FDIC, and The Bancorp Bank, N.A., pursuant to a license from Visa U.S.A. Inc. See terms and conditions for the Sutton prepaid card (https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/card-agreement), Sutton debit flex card (https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/debit-flex-card-agreement-sutton), and Bancorp debit flex card (https://cash.app/legal/us/en-us/debit-flex-card-agreement-bancorp). Cash App Green features, Savings, Direct deposit, Round ups, Overdraft coverage and Discounts provided by Cash App, Block, Inc. brand. Visit cash.app/legal/podcast for full disclosuresOFFICIAL MERCH: https://theyetee.com/chilluminatiMike Martin - http://www.youtube.com/@themoleculemindset Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - https://www.youtube.com/@StarWarsOldCanonBookClub/Editor: DeanCutty Producer: Hilde @ https://bsky.app/profile/heksen.bsky.social Show Art: Studio Melectro @ http://www.instagram.com/studio_melectro Logo Design: Shawn JPB @ https://twitter.com/JetpackBragginShownotes:Cup from Petra Treasury: https://ibb.co/60ZkPtF8“The Secret History of the Mongols” translated by Christopher P. Atwood

Hello everybody and welcome back to the Chulamani podcast. Episode 3702 as always, I'm one of your host, Mike Martin. Join my favorite two little Colombian roasted coffee beans. Oh my God. Jesse and Alex. Wow. Delicious. Delicious.

I love that. Nice and toasty. A little pastry on the side. Well, that little like what do you got? Mathis, you're the pastry. You're the delightful pastry on the side of our Colombian roast. Little almond, little almond cream inside of croissant with a little pistachio on top. You know what I'm saying?

good right now. It's a crunchy. Actually, here's the problem, though. Alex is the black coffee. And I'm like a latte with oat milk.

We all know what I am. That's all right. I love a black coffee. Honestly, I got a little. I got a cream in me. Yeah. Yeah,

yeah, you do. It's just, you know, creepy boy. Creamy fudge. I love to put a little extra cream into there anyway.

Right. Yeah. But again, oh, I'm not doing milk. That's fair. I do oat milk as well, actually.

I don't, I don't do almond. Almond makes me poop. Don't want that. I just, yeah, I don't know. Oat Milk is just like, it's got a nice little kind of like toasty flavor to it. And it also like, does it give me the poops?

Like regular milk. That's what I'm saying. Plus regular milk makes me puffy. This is what you have to look forward to listener who is not yet in their middle of ages. And that's why you got ahead over to Patreon.com slash aluminum pod. Because as time goes on, it's going to get harder and harder for things to keep moving. If you know what I'm saying. And if you don't know what I'm saying, it's probably because you're 25.

But you'll get there soon, kid. Just keep eating how you're eating. Yeah. Patreon.com slash Illuminati pod. Enjoy that Taco Bell, you son of a bitch. It's stupid that meme I keep getting because Wow Forever is coming out and it's like us in 2004. It's like, it's like pizza and Coke and midnight launch. And then it's like, Wow, Forever 2026.

It's like Metamusel and like bedtime by nine and that kind of thing. Yeah. Get some bread that has some actual proved dough. I mean, here's the thing. the truth of it is, it should have been bedtime by 9 and Meta Musil in 2004. But we were like, no, screw it.

We're going to eat this full pizza. And instead, there are many people out there who still in 2026 are like, screw it, I'm going to eat a full pizza. Sadly, they won't live to see Wow forever, forever. But, you know, we will and that'll be fine. At 18 is the age to do it. That's what I was doing it.

Like, I know you're not supposed to, but your body can rebound so much faster. Now, I'll do like, one of those nights once a month and I'll just regret really screwed me. Yeah, no, looking back, I would ruin my childhood. Yeah, I don't eat the best. You just got to keep it varied. You know, keep it varied and keep it real.

No, I would have turned into one of those like food is only sustenance. I do not require flavor. I'd become that guy. Knowing what I know now, I'd be that guy. I'm mostly there. I wish I sleep with something that was optional in food. That was something I could just like inject and not waste time. I'm like, oh, yes, a pill.

I tried with Soylent, which is probably the worst named product. ever made, but I tried real hard. I tried real hard with Soylent to just like have two of my meals be soiled and then have a nice dinner. But it was just like. It's too hard. It's impossible. It feels like I'm in like dystopia like immediately when I open a bottle of nutrient fuel.

White. It looks like the blood from like alien when it's an android. You know, like it's like a milky. Yeah, it's gnarly, dude. Welcome back to Shulimani, everybody. Happy Mummy season. Those were not our ads. That was not our brand ads this month.

Guys, I'm going to advise against doing solid ads. It could only lead to pain and suffering and internet ridicule for decades. Alex Jones might use you as an actual visual example of a soy boy. Just don't. It's going to give you drippy do-dudus. It's going to give you drippy do-dudus unless, of course, you are soiled and you want to pay us in which case. No, guys, I'm going to say no.

I'm going to say, but it's brought you all around the world. It's brought you in to say enough, but not that much. Let me be real. Do you still get people like even to this day? Literally yesterday some guy was messaged me and was giving me shit. And I was like, cool, bro. It's whatevs. I literally don't care.

But to save you to the hassle, to help the two of you along so you aren't drawn into the weirdest part of the internet. Hey, don't. I'm like, I feel like we live in a different era now, though. Like when that was going on with. you it was the era of like people still trying to give a fuck and like you know play nice with people at this point you want to go out and call me a soy boy go fucking head go literally in my 40s i just don't care exactly you give yourself away more than anything i'm gonna

you're wrong you're dumb you're crazy but but with that said literally if you don't want to wake up if you don't want to wake up go to twitter and be like i wonder what's a uh right okay right no all right You know what? I'm just going to leave Twitter. I don't want to say because the thing is, I don't want to say something mean. I don't want to like come at a purse. I'm like, I'm like, I'm going to put this back down and walk away. Depends on how bleak things feel at any given time, how mean I'm willing to be on the internet. Yeah. I was willing to be much meaner 10, 15 years ago. I was so much more willing to internet argue with anybody. Well, I just, I realized most of them are writing things on 13 year olds. And I'm like, dude, I'm a grown ass adult. What am I

doing. So I have to walk away. I have to be like, okay, I'm not going to fight a child. I don't remember the specifics, but like a few months ago, I was that had that moment where I like replied to somebody like and they replied to me and how they replied the things they said. I can't remember what it was, but it was like so clear they were young. I was like, oh, I'm wasting my fucking. Yeah. You have to adult yourself and be like, no, I'm all right. That's why it sets we do the show to be the responsible, mature adults in any given situation. Sweet money so we can snort some mummies. We need money for mummies, baby.

That's what got you sick, Jesse. Yeah. Don't forget that mummy dust can be as much of a curse as it is a blessing. Dude, mummy dust as part of a magical ritual would probably go hard. Mummy, like just throwing it in. Yeah, yeah, it's part of like a ritual of representing a certain intent or something. What's the actual word on that?

Like, like, okay, I don't actually want to do this. What's the word on what? Just, I'm just saying like, I don't. I don't, this is not me talking about my actual desires right now, but like, can you just get mummy dust if you want it? You're, you're almost asking, can we just snort rhino horn if we want it? Like, it's the same level of you shouldn't. No, no, no, let's just say hypothetically. Well, because some of the mummies are already dust ostensibly, right? Mummy dust. Like, I don't want to, I don't want to dust any more mummies. Let me, don't get me wrong. I'm not trying to dust any more mummies. How old does the mummy have to be?

mummy. Like a mummified person of any variety? I think the mummy dust mummies are ancient Egyptian mummies, no? Okay. All right. I believe the mummy dust, mummies are ancient Egyptian mummies. So you specifically want ancient Egyptian mummies dust. I'm not in, I don't want it.

I don't want it. This is hypothetical. What if we like, what if we like packed a little, like we rolled a blunt and then like instead of topping with Keefe, we topped it what mummy does? I think we probably just get really sick. I think we probably just get like a brain. The two of you will get like, you'll wake up the next day and festive with scarabs. I'll be like, and like bugs be coming out of my mouth of weather will get all bad.

The next episode will be awkward. There is no way to legally buy mummy dust, but there's fake mummy dust on eBay you can buy. Thank you so much to today's sponsor, Cash App. Look, there's a lot to keep track of between work, groceries, and the regular expenses of being a functioning. A sentence that somehow becomes more exhausting the longer I look at it. So let's just talk about a few practical features of cash app instead. If you weren't up to speed already, Cash App is way than just a safe way to send and receive money. With the Cash App card, you unlock a ton of perks without all the hidden fees.

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The useful thing here is being able to look at the purchases you already make and see where those discounts could help. Take a look at what's available before your next shopping trip by using the app. New Cash App customers can earn $10 if they use code Cash App 10 in their profile at Signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Download Cash App today and make your money work for you by using Code Cash App 10 in your profile at Signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Visit our link in the bio below. Thank you again to Cash App for sponsoring today's video. So at one point they were dusting a bunch of mummies, right? Yes.

Yes. We don't like that anymore. We don't want any more mummies to be dusted. I'm not advocating for that. I'm anti-mummy dusting. However, the mummies that have already been dusted, surely, they didn't just sell. There's a surplus of dust out there. Yeah.

In a warehouse that is locked and forgotten, there's left over mummy dust in the There's got to be like several kilos of mummy dust out there. And I'm just wondering. I know it's, I'm sure it's not legal because it's human remains. But, but like less like, don't even mention the fact that it's like stolen, because it's dust. I don't know what we can do at this point. If it's dust, we can't put it in a museum as dust. We could.

But we don't know what mummies what in the dust, right? We're just saying it's dust. I'm just watching Alex like, like logic his own way out. I think Alex is trying to say that if there happened to be some dust out there. he feels like it's foolish to just have it sitting around somebody yeah

yeah somebody should make somebody rich and dumb should make a YouTube channel where they do things with mummy does call it the the mummy simolee yeah and he just goes around and he's a mammolier yeah he's a mammolier right

Jesse you're in charge today don't put this on me don't put this whole situation on me I thought you were going to say don't put this part in the episode actually since I'm in charge remove the intro actually take it all if you can be so guide

and Dean anything that we say that's dumb remove it yeah just take it out we need money for mummies baby um gentlemen today I wanted to you know we've been talking about mummies we've been talking about like you know the origins mummification as an art

even what happens when rich dudes enter tombs and snored a few of them Yeah, or even a mummy that's on accident. Right, an accidental snort mummy. Yeah. We even talked about mummies in Hollywood and in fiction. But I wanted to bring us back around to talking about tombs. Because let's be honest, the mummy is just kind of the occupant of the tomb.

The tomb is the real interesting thing. That's where we learn what the person was like in their day-to-day life, rather than just some dude for snorting. That's where we discover the history. tomb out there where like the will inscribed in the tomb is I want to be snorted. I'm pretty sure that never happened. I bet you would happen at least once. I don't think they had a word for it. Yeah, I don't think they.

What was the picture? What was the hyal inhalation? Nasal inhalation. Most, most. Then draw a hieroglyphic of a mummy turning to dust that dust going into the nose. Most of those tombs though are like preserve the body for when it's needed for X, Y, and Z.

Not snort me so I can never return. I don't think that's it. and a pile of dust. A pile of dust, a mummy in the soon emoji arrow. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Wait. So is this like MTV's like Mommy TV's cribs? You'll see. You'll see kind of. M as in mummy MTV's cribs. The tomb is super, super interesting. Right. There's there's, you know, like I was saying, it's where we learn about the history and the culture and, you know, why the guy was put there in the first place. Obviously, we can, talk about tombs in Egypt. We touched on Emotep's step pyramid. Everyone knows about Giza, right?

We know stories of the false corridors and traps and curses that are like, if you open this door, your family line will weather, your crops will fail, and the swarm of angry scarribs will kill you in your sleep, that kind of thing. It makes a really cool stories. Yeah, is that from D&D? But like, you know, really all it is is a cool story. At the end of the day, some guy named Sir Reginald Witherbottom is going to come along, drag your ass back to England, and snort you is what we've learned from the last couple of episodes. Just put you, like when a little girl says she's going to make you a perfume with some shit that's around and then there's mummy dust in it.

Yeah, yeah. That's, it's mummy dust and dried leaves and, you know, like some cow pee. And that's it. A bug. Yeah. A bug's wing. Yeah. But before we start today, I wanted to acknowledge that there's tombs.

all over the world. And each has their own mysterious, creepy thing. And I want to cover a few of them before we're jumping. So like China, for instance. Or for those of you who are out there who know, the Mummy 3. Yeah, the Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, if you will. So you've got the first emperor and it's got, I know I'm going to screw this pronunciation. Chinchir Huang, I believe is how you say that, has this famous or yes, infamous

underground terracotta army with thousands of individualized clay soldiers standing in attention to guard a massive untouched tomb pyramid structure that modern scientists still really refuse to excavate because they're terrified that texts mention there are mercury booby traps hidden throughout and mercury booby traps for anyone who's curious are bad that is not cool that's not a curse That is just dead. Can we just send a fucking like boss town dynamics robot and a ghost busters? I'm sure that's part of the reason why they're making them. Yeah,

yeah, yeah, yeah. Like who's the dude they sent in? Who's the dude they sent into the Stargate with the rope on him? Like, what was that? Yeah. Same little rover, a little like Mars lander. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Send the little guy through. Yeah. Yeah. They're trying to reprogram the voting machines to go do right now. Yeah. Oh, that's why they're all. That's why they're missing because they're all heading out to head into this tomb. Oh.

That's not what I expected, but that's comforting to, I don't know that it's comforting. I don't know that it. I mean, like, they can be used for other things, like voting. Anyway. Yeah, but that's fraudulent. Yeah, yeah.

In Mexico, there are so many pyramids, and they all serve all sorts of different purposes from royal tombs to various temples to various deities. Sure, there were sacrifices, but like, you know, that wasn't the main purpose. I love the fact that in the temple of inscriptions, which is, it's in Chiaportals. I think is this crazy crypt that has what is called a psychoduct and it is a tube that's a communicating with the dead that's awesome no that's a duck Pokemon who gets a headache from time to time right right right right but also talks to the debt it is a narrow tube in the shape of a serpent and it runs from the side of pical the Great's massive stone sarcophagus traveling alongside the burial chamber on the interior staircase cuts directly through the floor of the public temple above and then

essentially you're like hey what's going on down there in the hells or wherever and that's how you're supposed to be able to communicate with him anybody try it we know if it works i mean i'm going to assume it don't work they're like yo thanks for coming by what's good how you been i would imagine that if that if you were to go look up any audio of this the winding snake like structure I would believe if you said something into it, it would probably echo back something that sounded similar to a voice, simply because the way it was designed, which is very, very cool. In Ireland, the tombs of New Grange are these massive stone mounds engineered to precisely at the exact morning of the winter solstice shine a beam of light through a very small

hole into the inner chamber. And essentially it's like a astronomical clock. When the winter solstice hits, boom, beam of light. When the winter soldier hits, boom, explosion. Dude, somebody's going to die. The king of Wakanda is dead. If you've seen Indiana Jones, you obviously know about the treasury at Petra, which is the very famous end scene of Last Crusade.

I cannot. When I was a kid, right, there was like one day when I was like 13, years old when I was like, yo, when I was in the library and people were like, what, what? And I was like, that's real. That's unbelievable. It's crazy that it's real. Scientists in 2024 found a tomb in there too. And I'm not even joking when I say this.

Two years ago? Is that what you said? In 2024. What? I have an image. So we all remember the end of the movie where Indiana Jones has to choose the cup of Christ, right? And the bad guy chose poorly. And Indiana Jones chooses a Carpenter's Cup, right?

In the, I'm not even joking, guys. In the tomb, one of the bodies is holding this. The tomb at Petra. Yes. That looks exactly like the Carpenter's Cup. It looks exactly like it. That's you telling me that's Elsa's bones right there that they found? What I'm telling you is I would have questions for Steven Spielberg.

Like, did you kill people there, Stephen? Like it is crazy. Spielberg seems to know a lot. And then he made Disclosure Day and I question everything. Dude, dude. Mission to accomplish, bro. Your third eyes finally open, bro.

Damn, it's Spielberg. Question everything. To be clear, they still don't know exactly what the Treasury at Petrus for. Archaeologist Pierce Paul Kriesman of the American Center of Research who led the team said that in a press statement, he was like, when was this remarkable structure built and why little did we know that this dig might completely change what we know about the treasury and help solve mysteries of the nabotan people um it's this kind of thing that we all have when we look into and investigate tombs it's kind of this like the human nature

of what's on the other side of that door right yeah ever we just need to know we have a desire to know it's why we're snoopy little bastards we are a insatiably curious a species to our own detriment sometimes. I can't believe even like, and this is like so not extreme compared to some of the stuff, like that thing from Oppenheimer where they lift the thing and everybody gets blasted. Oh, the devil. Oh, yeah. What is that thing called?

The demon's fear or whatever is. And like, but like, you know, like the guys that are eating lunch on the like Empire State building or whatever? Like on that beam at the like on. Yes. The very famous picture. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, where there's like no safety gear at all. And I don't know how they're doing that. That to me is the same exact notion in human brains that leads us to like continually prod at the nature of existence. It's the same that a guy gets in a boat and says, you know, let's go out into the ocean in the 1400s. And like, that's great. Anyone who was a sailor in the 12th century, 13th century 4th, like that's nuts. That seems like one of the worst life paths you could exist it. It's like,

there's no stories. There's a bunch of like boat stories I'd love to do on the show one day. But like none of them are pleasant. Like a boat like life in that time was filled with vomiting and like awful food. I love that vomiting is the first place you went. I would be like, dude, I have like a fear. I have a hate like one of those like hate nausea and vomiting. So it's like a top of my list.

But like there's like just like for an example. If you were on a ship that was out there for three or four months, first week or two, food's excellent. They give you amazing feasts because the. the food on the boat is all you have for two to three months. So by like a month and a half in, you're only halfway, the food is awful. And you still have a month and a half to go. It's all hard tacking and like, you know, dried ass meats and stuff.

And then if you find a place, you, you know, shout out to the Odyssey. And also to, oh, God, what is that? The, the movie where it's, oh, my God, my brain where it's during the war of 1812, I think maybe? Perfect store. No, master and commander. Oh my God. Horatio hornblower. Like that whole thing of like every time you see them land anywhere,

they're the most thankful dudes who ever, they're like, oh my God, land. We're going to take everything we can. Oh, is that a turtle? Kill that turtle. Let's eat that turtle. Like, they don't care. So that's like that.

Even to this day, our space program is we strap men on rockets. That's crazy. That is wild to think about it. We are still, we are still, if you, yeah, if you think about it, the fact that our technology is still putting things together to explode big enough to send us fast enough.

Yes. Like we have not moved past combustion, everything. We're trying with electric vehicles, but man, we don't want to let go to our explosive engines. Or maybe we're just being shown. Oh, maybe. Have you guys seen disclosure to have? But that's like the driving force of human nature is this sort of what's over there,

what's beyond that, where's this thing? can we get there. And it has not changed at all. And it's fascinating as a human because it really helps us figure out like, you know, should we, should we like mess with this? Should we do this? And most of the time, someone's like, I'll do it. Yeah, I was going to say, when do we, when has a, in human history, has a human said, no, we won't do that. We're living right now out now with AI. Yeah, we're too miserable. Yeah. We, we, we, we want to get a leg up no matter what. Like, we just, if there's a chance that something amazing could happen, somebody will take the chance because maybe they'll be the next fucking Elon Musk. Exactly. Yeah. Some you're like, well, I'll be dead,

but my name will live on in history. And they're like, I'm fine with that. And that's just, that's part of the reason people are like, yeah, enter that tomb, even though it says a curse. You know what I mean? Yeah. And yeah, name that ocean, anything you want, bro. Yeah. But what happens if you can't try to enter the tomb? What happens if the past simply vanishes? if you can't find it, even if you're told you should be able to. Today, I want to talk about those ancient tombs that should be the resting places of some of history's most famous people and simply aren't there anymore. And these are people that every single one of us should know, that every single one of us, I don't even need to really explain these people, I'm going to, but I shouldn't have to. You know them.

And our first person is our co-host's namesake. Alexander the Great. Thank you so much to Mint Mobile for sponsoring today's episode. Groceries, they're up. Gas, also up. Rent, you guessed it. Up. Your wireless bill?

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wireless plan starting at 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com slash chill. That's mintmobile.com slash chill. Cut your wireless bill right now at 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com slash chill. $45 up front payment required equivalent to $15 per month. New customer is on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees extra seemed Mittmobile for details. In 323 BC, following a whirlwind campaign that forged one of the largest empires in human history for reasons that aren't really quite clear, but many believe was poison. Alexander died in Babylon at the age of 32. His untimely death caused a brutal succession, which transformed his empire into regions and generals vying for power. and so his body kind of became this ultimate trophy.

Recognized that possessing Alexander's remains really gave you legitimacy. Ew. And what was to come, Ptolemy, that's Ptolemy hijacked the funerary train, which was this magnificent like Alexander, think like Prince Saul Lee, except it's a dead guy, right? this massive funeral train. Ptolemy had his boys hijack it on route to Macedonia and diverted it to Egypt.

And if you're curious, Ptolemy... What? Yeah. If you're curious, Ptolemy is the guy who Alexander put in charge of Egypt after he went there, took it over, killed off all the old Egyptian kings. And left, yeah.

Put Ptolemy in charge. So all the descendants we think, when we think of like Egypt during Roman times, that's Ptolemy's kids. That's the Ptolemy's kids, great kids. that I was talking about last time. Yeah. Cleopatra is literally a Telemic figure.

She's one of his descendants. And we'll get to her later. Initially, after residing in Memphis, Alexander's body was transferred to Alexandria, where a grand royal mausoleum was created, and we're talking massive, like a giant honorary structure with a gold sarcophagus. It is in the records as Julie Caesar visiting it.

I believe he's a guy. The First Emperor of Rome visited it. It was this... So was around. It was around. It was this place. People were like, ah, yes. That's Alexander's, you know, burial chamber.

That's a sarcophagus. This golden sarcophagus. However, in the ancient world, Alexandria did not fare very well. There were riots. There were earthquakes. There were civil wars. Going to the 4th century AD, all sorts of crazy stuff was going on. During this time, Alexandria was in the middle of

multiple military campaigns and conflicts. Most notably, there was a suppression of rebellion by Emperor Orillian. The very flooding and there was like a tsunami, like a tidal wave occurred. Just crazy stuff was going on. It's like when they made the gods of Egypt movie or some shit. This is crazy. Yeah, Alexandria got hit by a lot. And in 365 AD, a massive earthquake tsunami thing submerges the like almost the entire coast of Alexandria and as we're talking we talked about this in the in the bonus show right about how there's researchers down there right now trying to figure out what the hell is going on the water off the coast because there's large parts of the city are just down there it is I'll off not often but often enough think about how much human

history will never get to know just like swallowed by the ocean eroded with time like only recently we discovered one of the fabled cities we thought were fake is actually real because it was under like seven layers of other cities and it's just it's insane to think about that's why it's important to keep all those uh artifacts of you know written knowledge of the time or someone's like uh yes that's the site of you know big top peewee and and then one day people dig it up and they'll be like oh my god it was there was a second peewee movie yeah what the hell believe it it really happened um So all of a sudden, at this time, references to the tomb simply cease, like vanish. There is no more.

Oh, there isn't even like a, oh, it got swallowed. It just, people stopped talking about it. The question is, was it tore down in some like religious fervor at the time? Like a cursed town? They just stopped talking about them. They were like, no one referenced from this point on Alexander's tomb ever again. What if it's because he got up, the door open and he was like, no one speak of this.

And then he flew away like Superman. That would be amazing. But surely someone would have spoken of it. No one knows if it's maybe because like his former enemies got in there and destroyed the tomb. No one knows if it was lost because the cityscape changing or the flooding. Like surely maybe the city just kept growing and was built over it. Despite 200 formal archaeological expeditions and countless informal searches, no definitive trace of the tomb or Alexander's again gold sarcophagus has ever been found

do you think at this point it's just been eluded like gone well before we even know that they was done it's like it could be it could be fake it could be complete fabrication right also true that is true it could be that there never was a gold sarcophagus it's just like what he deserves in the imagination of somebody yeah then who sees him as like phanos basically yeah exactly it could It could be that he was never there to begin with. One of the most widely accepted theories posits of the tomb lies either, A, hidden deep beneath the bustling streets of modern Alexandria, likely near the Neby Daniel Mosque or in the Calm Aldika district,

submerged beneath like continuous construction. But the other theory suggests that somewhere during all this stuff, He was moved to the Siwa Oasis in Egypt, where he was famously declared a son of Amon. Or there's another theory he's in St. Mark's Basilica and Venice. And another theory that claims that the bones of St. Mark the evangelists were really Alexander's bones and they just mislabeled them. Oh, well, whoa. That's a very human error I can see happening. That's like the guy shooting JFK in the head who's on his car, level fuck up.

That's like a huge, huge grievous mistake. Yeah. It's crazy. All of human history is accidentally altered by that one mislabeling. Oh my bad. Oh, my fault. Whoopsy dopsy. But there is no definitive answer here.

This is one of those things where the tomb was this glorious structure. But again, is that just the hype they wrote to make it seem like, yeah, this is cool. Or did Ptolemy at the time take over that funerary train and then just like chuck the body and then say, oh yeah no we have it so that no one could ever take it from it right what a fucking freak what a psychotic move and but that's what it was you were fighting for control right the largest empire known to man at that time there's no like good taste yet yeah it was it was like a bunch of guys yeah a bunch of naked guys in robes fucking each other over yeah pretty much yeah and uh fucking each other yeah fucking each other too ultimately true the missing two of vallesander the great is important because

it represents this sort of missing physical anchor to this legendary figure who again one of my favorite stories ever is that Alexander the Great went to the tomb of Achilles, took his golden armor and wore it into battle and every time he fought he wore giant shining golden armor so everyone knew where he was at all. Like you were asking to get sniped. Is he real? I mean everyone, there's historical records of Alexander definitely being real. Like he was in one of the Olympics. He led the like a bunch of Macedonian. Like he's very real in the Olympics. Yeah. Like back like like he are you doing the labors of Hercules? Who is this guy? Literally. His whole thing was to prove he so Macedonia not Greece. But his whole thing was I'm going to

prove to the Greeks that I'm Greek so that I can rule them. And so he like showed up for a bunch of stuff. Like he did the naked wrestling. He did all that stuff. That was that was like, that was like, He was like, I'm going to win. His whole, like, you know, there's so many. No, did he actually do anything? I don't know, man. But the legends, like, he's the guy who cut the knot. He sounds like Chuck Norris, bro.

He sounds like fucking, like Johnny Appleseed or something. I love studying him when I was in college. It sounds like Emo-Tep. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, like his whole legend is a demigod. And to have this figure, if we could find a body or find the tomb, to be able to, like, actually say, okay, this was a guy who did. a thing. It would be incredible. He wasn't merely just a ruler. He is like the cultural catalyst that blends

Greek, Persian, and Egyptian cultures that creates the Hellenistic age. Right. Like he is the guy. And so if we could find him, it would be huge. We would also learn about burial practices at the time, Hellenistic art in tombs. We could learn things like, you know, what condition was he in at his death? maybe we can learn what actually killed him. All sorts of things. Again, we don't know if it was poison or malaria or typhoid fever because he was pushing into India. To be clear, he was pushing into India.

That's crazy. Overly ambitious. It's like insanely ambitious. Like why? I mean, because he could. Generally, I believe he just thought like, because I can. I was just reading about the tribes that were like here where Los Angeles is and about how they didn't believe in linear time and that their civilization grew to a single size that they

kept for like several thousand years because they just stayed in complete harmony with nature. He could not be more opposite of that. It's like crazy how that's both human cultures. That's insane. It's like clingons and humans. It's nuts. I do want to stress, I have to look this up because I did mess up. It wasn't Alexander who competed in the Olympics.

It was his dad who competed in the Olympics. That's even more fucked up. That's like when Commissioner Gordon in the Arkham Games is like jacked for some reason. You're like, why? His dad competed because his dad was like, Alexander, we need the Greeks to be like super into us as Macedonians. Because Macedonians are kind of considered backwater. And they're like,

if we're going to rule these guys, we need to like Greek it up a bit. So we know nothing about Alexander. He is a mystery to a lot of people. Most of what we know is what was written about him at the time. So it would be a huge win for all of us if we were to discover where his missing tomb was. That is fucking nuts. So I brought up Cleopatra earlier.

Let's jump into that. Some more history stuff here for all my history nerds out there. After Julie Caesar's death, the Roman Republic, which we all know the story, as March, Julie Caesar goes in the Senate, gets stabbed a bunch of times by his friends. because he tries to basically, you know, run it like a, like a tyranny, like a, you know, an autocracy of Julius Caesar. Do you happen to know if that was a meme before Shakespeare or is that from Shakespeare? I feel like most things are because, like in the modern times are because Shakespeare.

But et tu Brutei? That I believe is like one hundred. That seems like a Shakespeare thing. I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. I feel like that's Shakespeare, but it could be an ancient text and Shakespeare was like, I shall take this. It is a fine line. He's the type of guy. He's the type of guy who seems like there might be like some lore about like a like a emotep type guy. Yeah. After Julie Caesar's death, the Roman Republic is plunged into a civil war. Those who killed him hoped his death would stop this road to tyranny they were on. But hey, it's no longer called the Roman Republic after this point. So that did not work.

Caesar's co-consul, the very famous Mark Antony, gives this fiery speech at his funeral. That's, sends the public into a frenzy and they chase the senators like Brutus Cassius, all of them out of Rome. They have to flee. And at this point, a triumvirates created. It's very similar to the one that Caesar made when he took over. And this time,

the triumbrit is Mark Anthony, is like his friend, the most respected general of the time, Lepidus, and of course his adopted son, Octavian. That is fucking crazy. And they're like,

all right, boys. here's the plan we're going to seize rome we're going to execute any enemy of ours like if you said word one about my dad you're done like that's it uh and this is the time that the very famous cicero we're talking like the cicero who is like to be ignorant of what occurred before you were born is to remain always a child that guy they killed his ass that explains a lot about where we're at right now as a matter of fact yeah they were like if you're going to talk shit on my dad you're dead uh and so they just went around and killed all their enemies. So then Mark Anthony and Octavian, they go off and hunt down Brutus and his boys. And before they get captured, Brutus and Cassius killed themselves.

No shit. Yeah. Wow. Is that like badass or is that like? I'm sure back then it was considered cowardly to be like rather than face repercussions just to kill yourself. Like if I was a samurai, right? Like, and I took myself out, right? That's kind of like, it's not like disgraceful, right? It's I guess a different, uh, I mean, they may have let them kill themselves, if you know what I mean, rather than like, oh, no, if we're going to torture the hell. Yeah, brother. Yeah. Have a knife, dude. Go wild. Yeah. Damn. And so much like Julius is triumvirate, the one between and, you know, at that time, he turned against Pompey and Krasis, who were like his boys, uh, you know, because it's one of those, there can only be one leader in Rome. This new

triumvirate turns on itself too. Octavian, just like his dad is like, I'm not sharing power. Like, I am the guy. So in 31 BC, he strips General Lepidus of all his military might. And to save his butt, Mark Anthony flees to Egypt and allies himself of Cleopatra, who for some time had been sort of this like figure that Julie Caesar, everyone was like, if you can get on Cleopatra's good side. Yeah. It's all good if you know what I'm saying. Like all of them. Shakespeare picked that one up too.

Yeah. Yeah. Everyone loved Cleopatra. He did the squeakal. One year later, following their defeat, the Battle of Actium, Mark Anthony and Cleopatra have this pretty tragic ending. So Mark Anthony hears Cleopatra's dead. It's just a rumor, but he hears it, and he's so heartbroken, he kills himself.

Meanwhile, she's not dead at all. She comes in and it is like, he did what? So now... They Romeo and Juliet did? Yeah, basically, she's like, son of a bitch. So rather than be captured, because now she has no real defender, And because she's worried she's going to be like stripped and taken to Rome as like a prize and displayed for all Rome to like just gawk at her. And so she kills herself.

This is, there's a bunch of famous stories about like Asps. Do you think she really did that? Do you really think she used a snake like that? I don't know. I don't know. It feels more like a, you know, a story because it's like Egypt and snakes. A snake to bite her breast and inject it to be a lethal poison. Yeah, like I don't know if that's real or not.

But that's the legend. And so what's wild is the Romans, again, like I was saying, really did love her. Even Octavian. Like, when it became time to bury them, Octavian was like, let him be in tomb together. Nick and it's all right. And so after it was done, as we know, Octavian changes his name to Augustus. He becomes the first emperor of Rome. And literally is why we have the month of August and also why we have July for Julius Caesar. And coins, right? I forget, yeah, some crazy thing. He is, you know, Augustus becomes the first big shot in Rome. And Egypt, instead of being this ancient empire, just becomes another Roman state at that point. It is thousands and thousands and thousands of years, this Egyptian empire has reigned, and now it's nothing but like another place owned by Rome. But once again, in the aftermath, this tomb given to Mark Antony and Cleopatra, this, you know,

resting place for this beloved couple vanishes. No one has a clue where it is. Very similar to Alexander, Cleopatra, descended from Ptolemy. They said they built this giant, multi-story, lavish mausoleum in the royal quarter of, and want to take a guess where? Debs. Alexandria. No way. Yep. Built this giant, massive thing in the royal quarter of Alexandria. Right next to a beautiful lighthouse. Right near where kind of Alexander the Great would be. And they were like, yeah, all right, sure. This is, we'll put it right next to the temple of ISIS. We will, you know, have this amazing, beautiful spot for them.

So did it burn down? Nobody has a clue. There are many people that think it went missing just like, you know, Alexander's tomb because the earthquakes and the flooding and whatnot. Carmen San Diego came in with a big helicopter and just took it and in a whole, whole piece and took it away. But the thing is, people, if this is supposed to be a multi-story, massive tomb, surely there would be some sort of remains underwater. They have been down there looking forever. So what the fuck does that, what the fuck does that mean?

There's nothing. And, you know, I'm sure there's a bunch of like Egyptian nerds out there who have a question about this. And I would agree with them. It is interesting. So Egypt, one of their favorite things they like to do in the past was like, if some, someone important died, funerary cults would develop around them. We talked about with Emotep. Emotep was just a dude and then suddenly he's a god. So Mark Anthony and Cleopatra are this like doomed lover couple and like that is prime future god material. Nothing. And people think

maybe Augustus knew that and was like, okay, the story of two lovers and tomb together is a powerful tool for Egyptians. And if let's say in the future, their stories used to foment uprisings, I don't want that. So maybe, very much like how people speculate, maybe Ptolemy dipped on the body of Alexander,

Augustus never buried them, never gave them that he just said he did, so that no real cult could be formed around them. Just gave him the Akhenaten, just scrubbed them. Scrub them from history. Yeah. Pruned them. Today, the search for the missing tombs remains one of archaeological, like, just not

archaeology in general, but like, if you even are like an archaeological nerd and you're just kind of curious, it is the thing to find. Because it's such a good story. It's a love story, right? And people are trying to find it. They're land, sea. They're using air sonar to try. many maritime archaeologists such as Frank Godio believe the mausoleum lies entirely underwater

submerged in the ancient harbor of Alexandria alongside the sunken palace and maybe Alexander's tomb. And he thinks it's probably real? I don't know. I mean, that's what he says. Other prominent researchers led by Dominican archaeologist Kathleen Martinez and supported by Egyptologist Zahi Hawas argue that Cleopatra secretly arranged for their burial to be 30 kilometers south. west of Alexandria in a temple complex dedicated to Osiris and ISIS, who at the time, Anthony and Cleopatra actively identified as. And so maybe in order to sell the story, Augustus was like, all right, you guys will put you over

there. But in order to ensure no one can really come to worship you, we'll tell this other story. That is so like meta text, like so next level, fourth dimensional chess. You have to imagine all these guys, they had so much time to scheme. That's true. That's true. And they had very like hardline, like access to like, they didn't really have to think about a lot of stuff. When you're the emperor, you just say a thing and it happens.

Yeah, exactly. That's crazy. And so if you're leading out, like, again, if you're Ptolemy and you're leading Alexander's like remaining forces, you're like, yeah, make this happen. Like, okay. No one questions it. And just like with Alexander, the identification and discovery of these figures would be huge for the world. But no one really knows. No one has any answers. Really quickly, while we're still messing around in Egypt, and it's very, you know,

it's like one of my favorite bits is if we go back to the 14th century BC, to one of the most controversial figures in history, Queen Nefertiti, her husband, Farah Akhenaten, was absolutely hated because he banned Egypt's pantheon and made the solar deity, Aten, the guy. Ottenism is literally the, like, maybe the first monotheistic religion ever,

and that did not sit well with people. What did not sit well with people more is that during the time Nefertiti, his queen, was basically seen as like, a complete equal to him. And not just equal, but like,

hot. She was kind of like Helen, right? She was kind of like a legendary hottie. Legend. If you see, busts of her, you're like, yeah, I get it. I get it. And it's, there's something about the fact that she was like extremely powerful and extremely beautiful that a lot of like important dudes in Egypt did not like. And so, you know, she's depicted in Temple Reliefs as, you know how in the various forms of, you know,

like, if you go into a tomb, you can see all the different hieroglyphics and, you know, It'll have certain figures in certain positions, and each position means something. She is often featured in places that are reserved for male pharaohs. And so it's her smiting captives. It's her driving war chariots. It's her directing sacrifices. And so a lot of people believe she either had more authority than her husband or was a co-regent that could like control stuff even if he wasn't around.

Very rarely is like at that time, there's like a woman have that kind of power. In the 14th century BC, that's, yeah. Like, it just doesn't happen. Well, Akhenaten just seems like such an interesting. Didn't he, like, change the art style of the entire kingdom? Oh, and to the point where it upset everyone so much, they scrubbed it. They were like, we're going back the old way. We hate that guy.

He's the sonic with the teeth, like just the old version. Yeah. They did that on purpose to drum up publicity for the movie. Oh, oh shit. The Shuluminati episode about video games is revealed. Her influence reaches the piece. during his reign. And, you know, details this time are like really fiercely debated. A lot of its fan fiction, let's be real. But evidence suggests that at some point, Akhenan's health

completely started to fail. And Nefertiti assumed the throne in her own right. But following their deaths, the priesthood, who was very traditional at the time, and those rulers that followed who were probably lifted up by the priesthood tore down every temple, every inscription, anything that even mentions where they could be buried or much about their rule is gone. Like history scrubbed most of their story. And this, I think, is something that goes back to the previous two tales is when new power comes to power, anything that was there that could threaten that power is wiped out. Right?

You've probably seen the theme. Alexander, Cleopatra, right? Could be Nefertiti. Atal the Hunts. Play-O-Thino, Budica, all of these people that threatened power throughout history, when they were dead,

if you were in power, you wiped them away. You wiped them clean, you didn't want people to know. And that, you know, sure, it could be an earthquake got them or time got them.

But more than not, it's probably the people who came afterwards were like, nah, no, which is really, it's a shame. because these are things, strangely enough,

we don't talk about the people who came after. I don't even know their names. We just don't care because they were just the establishment returns. Yeah, yeah, exactly. But then there's one more that I really want to talk about because it is the flip the script on all of this. Again, all over the world, it's the same story.

Like I was saying, Attila the Hun, Plato, Buda, like anyone who challenged power, anyone who was a threat to the future, people removed. And then there's one guy, Gingus Khan or for some of you, Jingis Khan. In 1227 AD, after carrying out the largest land empire, like, campaign in the world, like, massive. Everybody's daddy. Daddy of everyone on earth.

Yes, his DNA is in a lot of people. Gingis Khan dies during a military campaign against the Western Jha kingdom in China. Unlike Alexander's crew, though, the Mongol Empire's leadership realizes that if, people found out where he was. This guy who, you know, did, made a lot of enemies, we'll say. If they found out one, he was dead and two, where he was buried, should we go down? So his inner circle, unlike any other people, his inner circle comes together and it's like, okay, here's the deal.

We're not going to tell anyone he's dead. We can't get genjis? We're not saying anything to anyone. So until we safely secure successor, we're doing. doing nothing. In the book, The Secret History of the Mongols by Christopher P. Atwood, uh, his funeral procession was so secret that they enforced this rule of silence that like, let's say the three of us are walking along and we come across his funerary train. We get burned.

Whoa. They kill us. That's, no shit. Anything from unsuspected travelers to animals to anything that cut, that cut across their, their way, they. silenced. They don't even want anybody to know that there was a funeral. Right. Yeah. Whoa. His body is transported back to the sacred Mongol heartland where he's then laid to rest in an unmarked, unplunderable grave, deliberately left behind with no monument, no inscriptions, no visible mound,

nothing so that you could even remotely revere this man. Unlike Alexander's crew, who was like, whoever has his body, we shall revere him or, you know, uh, Cleopatra. Like, yes, we'll create a cult around her glory. None of that. They realized that someone who goes around conquering might have a bad name in some places. And those people might seek his corpse. And they were like, okay, here's the plan. After we bury him, we are going to trample the ground with a thousand horses to make it

so you can't figure it out. we're going to divert water from various rivers to make new rivers to change the layout of the land. We're going to plant trees over maybe the gravesite. I don't know. We're going to disrupt any possible physical evidence of humans ever even being in the area. What the fuck? That's crazy. And is it like a secret that's passed down?

Yes. Yes, dude. Also, the region around the area where Gingis, Genghis spent most of his youth, is not, now forbidden from entry. They put guards, like, not like right outside, but like in the general massive area of this step. They were like, no, you're not allowed in. No one's allowed in there. That's his ancestral home and it's to be pristine. And it was guarded under penalty of death. That's crazy. And we don't even know where it is. I mean, we know like this giant area. Right. But like specifics, no. During the 20th century, this isolation was also enforced.

by the Soviet Union who designated the area a restricted military zone, preventing modern archaeologists from even conducting surveys and inadvertently preserving the landscape's precinct secrecy. So basically, they were like, it's for military purposes, and no one could go in. I am just shocked that that was the plan, because it seems so excessive. Like, they could have just burned him.

But, you know, if you're going to build a tomb to honor a guy, you know. Yeah, I guess that's true. So the tomb exists. Oh, there's something. just don't know where it is. In the modern era, despite advanced technology, including satellite imagery, ground penetrating radar, aerial drones and international scientific expeditions, no confirmed trace the tomb has ever been discovered. Archaeologists face a lot of hurdles, including severe environmental conditions, dense wilderness, the sheer vastness of the search

area across the Mongolian steppe and mountains. More importantly, cultural traditions and local sentiments prevent any real investigation. Because nobody wants you there. Yeah. Many Mongolians strongly oppose the destruction of the area to find a tomb. I mean, fair, fair enough. Yeah. While many scientific, like high-tech advancements have been done.

And there have been signs of burial mounts, Korgans that have been found in the region. We don't know if any of them are him. And, you know, this is really interesting because I love the. idea that unlike Alexander or the ones we talked about where it's missing, this is a case of we don't want you ever to find it. Like it's missing on purpose. So you will never discover this place. It's hidden like DaVinci Code. Yeah. Get Dan Brown on the case. And the idea that this guy who conquered so much has managed to stay hidden for 800 years sort of preserves this aura of eternal mystery that really among the Mongolian people kind of is a spiritual.

connection to their land, to the founder of their nation, to like, they kind of get a kick out of the fact, like, you'll never find it. That's fucking crazy, though, actually. Yeah. Do you think that there's somebody who knows? Like, is there, like, a traditional line of, like, oral? Maybe. I do not know.

I think that's part of the fun of it is, is, I like the idea of knowing or believing that there's someone who does know. You know what I mean? The secret order of the, the gangis gone, gravey out of guards. Yeah. that were there, they passed it down to their children and so forth. Yeah, I think that's neat. And, you know, sure, it would give us a lot of really interesting insights into like 13th century

funerary customs and train networks and, you know, military paraphernalia and all sorts of fun stuff. But at the same time, the idea of them being like, but the part of it is we don't want you to know that stuff. It's interesting even knowing that it's a mystery, like that they chose for it to be a mystery. That's, to me, says a lot about who they are as a culture. and how cynical they are and how human they are. It makes them seem kind of badass. And I think they like that. I think they like it makes them seem kind of badass. And I'm here for that.

I think that's awesome. Yeah, I like that. I dig that. So when we talk about lost tombs and lost historical figures within them, really what we're saying is something about this person was so powerful and important that they had to be lost to history for the sake of whatever nation or power came after them, right? And that's how powerful these people were, be it philosophers or rebellion leaders or people who were the former leader of a nation. They're so powerful that they needed to be lost to history. And the mummies that we do find are actually the ones that no one cared enough to make it so we wouldn't find their bodies. Not the big movers. Yeah. They're technically the people who are like, yeah, sure, you found King Tut. Who cares? So basically what you're telling me

is there's a giant conspiracy over all of human history, but to fabricate all of our greatest leaders and make them fictional characters. I mean, to be clear, most of our greatest leaders are their stories. It's very true. Like, we don't, most of the great leaders of history are just the stories. Interesting. It isn't because, you know, I would imagine that a lot of the things we know about, our American founding fathers are just stories. You know what I mean? They're just great stories we tell because they're a good story.

Eventually, and I think this is true, especially, like, I'm American, right? So I think this is definitely true of American history, but like eventually enough people are dead who don't remember the real thing that you can kind of like change it to make yourself look better. Yeah? And just make things easier for everybody in a way that's inconsequential. but that, you know, I don't know. It's weird. I guess that's why like the fascists go after like the history Smithsonian and stuff. Yeah.

Controlling the history, controlling the narrative is important to people. And that's, you know, that's again why famous names are often people like the amount. Like if you think about the tomb of Napoleon, for example, Napoleon's tomb is built in a way that you can either look down upon him or up at him. never at his level. You know what I mean? Like, that's, that's the idea of these like important figures is even in death, they're like, I'm still better than you. Even if they're on the verge of death, what obsesses them until the very end is finding some way to make some sort of disgusting mark on the planet? Pretty much. Yeah. Yeah. Good thing that's all done. Yeah. It's, it's incredibly weird, but that's, that's the big takeaway. It's like, all the most powerful people

are literally just their stories. Yep. The people we find are the ones who are not really that powerful. I think the aliens put them here. Damn, dude. I think they're the new gods. I think they're the Eternals.

I think Alistair Crowley kind of was making that point. All the ones without the tombs? Eternal. They're out there saving the world. Yeah. All the ones that don't speak? Inhumans. Oh yeah.

Mark Anthony, he jumped into the sun after he realized he screwed up his relationship with his girl. Yeah. Yeah. And then he came back out and he was a singer. He was like a modern day singer. Right.

Yeah. Crazy. Crazy. I've never seen the Eternals. It's fine. It's a mix between reality and Latin pop music from the 90s. This bit. Yeah.

All right. So the final question is, what do you want in your tombs? Oh, uh, send my ass on fire and throw me in the ocean. I don't care. If I have any progeny. If I have any progeny, you can sell all of it. But if not, bury me with my comics, baby. Actually, make it accessible.

Bear me underneath my comics in the library. Oh, yeah. I think I'd be lovely. Honestly, I'd love like, you know, like stick me. Oh, you know what? I changed my mind. I want to be one of those ones where it's like terrifying. I want to be, you know, like sometimes like like a glass case, but it's just a skeleton. He's got like a yeah, a skull. You want to be Jesse James, but Jesse Cox, like you want to be like a dead rotting body in a like in a hotel lobby in the in the in the old. No, no, I want to be. You know how like you go into like a, I don't know, an Italian church. somewhere and there's like, oh, yes, that's the body of St. Jessica's of Cox. And then it's just like a golden skull. Yeah, it's like bones, like duck. Oh, yeah, but it's like creepy.

You're like, why do you have this, dude? Listen, just admit that you want to be dusted, all right? Just admit that you want to be dusted. I don't, the problem is it's like, I don't want to be in anyone's poo. You know what I mean? Okay, then get, be a paint mummy. And then you can be on their walls like poop, like spear. on the walls like food.

And I'm haunted the shit out of you. Yes. All right. I'm back in. My like, the skin of my like left thigh could haunt your bathroom. Yeah. I just want my tomb to just have instructions and how to snort me.

Just like a dollar bill. The soon emoji. Yeah. Like you said earlier. That's it. That's all I want. A nose emoji. A bang emoji.

The one that's just like, I had the idea that it's just hieroglyphics, but emojis. They're the same thing. And then the silly. The silly. The silly. face. And then

bang again and then the mummy emoji that's not real. I don't think there is a mummy emoji. I know there's a zombie emoji. There's got to be a mummy emoji. There's got to. No, I think there's a,

I think there's a zombie one, but I don't, I think I think I keep imagining. I think it's like one of those Berenstine bear traps. That's what they should call those. A Berenstine bear trap, not a Mandela effect.

Yeah, what are we doing? All right. Right there. All right. Yeah. Next time, next time on Patreon.com slash Simonati pod,

Mnysode. Go get it. Exactly. We're going to do that right now. We appreciate your love you. We'll see you next week. Bye-bye. Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night and enjoying ourselves. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I stepped back inside and after a few moments, I hear my wife go. We need money for mummies, baby. So I quickly dashed back outside. She's looking up in the sky in the fall. I look up to you, and there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky.

You know,