Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 38 - Alex’s Internet Mysteries Part 1: KUTCHIE'S KEYLIME PIE

Episode Date: December 24, 2019

BUY OUR MERCH - http://theyetee.com/collections/chill... Soundcloud - @chilluminatipodcast  Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox  Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/ThatOneLaserClown Art Commissioned by - http://www.mollyheadycarroll.com Theme - Matt Proft Video - http://www.twitter.com/digitalmuppet

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Happy holidays to everyone. If you celebrate Hanukkah. If you celebrate holidays. I don't know what's happening around this time. Here's my question to the world. Is it more offensive if three white guys try to like get all the listing stuff? Yeah, is it more offensive if we do that or should we just say Merry Christmas? Whatever you're doing out there today, whatever you're doing out there this week, this month, this time of year. Enjoy it.

Welcome to this funny podcast about Paranormal. It's the spirit of the season. It is the spirit of the season to tell you about creepy things. But what is the biological essence of that spirit? Is it an ectoplasmic spirit? That's a question that we're going to answer today. On Chilluminati, the secret of Jesus Christ. Episode 30 something or other.

See, if we started episodes like that, people would be like, this show should be on TV. And then at the end, Alex was like, all that false. Wouldn't it be fucked up if I was like, this is a Jesus episode? Like out of nowhere. I was like hyping this up and then I'm like, no, we're just going to look at the mysteries of Jesus. Just like open the Bible. Yeah. I love those shows.

I'm not going to lie. I love the ones where they try to like, we're going to debunk Jesus. I was like, why even try? I saw the standup comedian that did a bit about the show that he watched on BBC that was like, what did Jesus Christ actually look like? Just like the exact like stupid fucking thing they would make sure. Dirty blonde hair, blue eyes and white as the Aryan race. Of course. Clearly a very white guy who just lived in the desert.

And it's, I mean, everyone knows that. Obviously. Tall bearded white. Don't open that can of worms. We're going to get a letter that's like, guys, I feel like before we personally insult anyone's religion anymore for no reason. Let's, let's move on to the episode today, which is not about Jesus. It is not. No, it's called, I'm obsessed with internet mysteries and I need to move on.

And Merry Christmas. This is an Alex episode. Everybody. Come guys. This is the real shit. Get ready to get ready to Google some shit that you didn't think you were going to Google a second ago. But don't do it till you get to the end of the episode. You fuckers.

Why are you always trying to steal my thunder? Don't do it. All right. Geez. I'm talking to you out there in La La Land, not you. All right. Well, that was on their behalf. Yeah.

All of our listeners in LA. You assholes. Yeah. Yeah, you fuckers. All right. So let me tell you guys, I've kind of fallen off the deep end. It's so angry. In terms of pieces of shit.

So let me tell you guys, I've kind of fallen off the deep end. This is what happens when you go see episode nine. You mock Jesus once and Alex is very mad. Just start speaking in tongues. All right. I've fallen off the deep end in terms of spending significant amounts of my free time watching, researching, like bizarre internet mysteries. And like, I almost feel like I'm doing like the Batman beyond the deep end.

And like, I almost feel like I'm doing like the Batman beyond version of Chilluminati. Like this is like a whole other world of mysteries. Like there are no like, there's no. I died and like, or I'm old now. No, it's like, oh, can I be old man Bruce Wayne? Like if you're, if this is, if Batman, the anime, Paul, Paul, no, don't worry, Will for Dell. Don't worry.

Terry McGinnis. His name is Terry. All right. We'll defeat ink together. I don't remember ink. I don't know anything. Don't worry about it. Like the swirly face.

The swirly face is like, I don't want, if I'm a villain, I don't want anybody to describe me as the guy with the swirly face. It makes me sound like a frozen yogurt. All right. I got to stop. All right. What I meant by Batman beyond is just that like, if the original animated series is like the majestic 12, this weird shit that I keep finding out is like the like vaporwave version.

It's like fucked up. The internet is dumb, dude. And I've been, but I've been having fun with it. And I wanted to do like another full crazy thing for you today. But the problem is like in 95% of the cases, halfway through researching them, I'm, I get to a point where I'm like, oh, I see. So this is just a creepy pasta. I see.

I feel like it's either going to turn into a creepy pasta or weird viral marketing. Yeah. I'll be watching like a 45 minute video. And then in the last 10 minutes, they're like, so who made this creepy pasta? And I'm like, fuck. It's really annoying. So what I, so like the things that are believable to the other, the flip side of this is just that like they don't have as much information about them.

And that's what keeps them believable is like this possibility that maybe they're real. And so today I was going to do three topics today. But what I decided to do was to try and purge myself. So maybe after this is done, I'll be out this diversionary obsession that I have undertaken upon myself will be done. And I wanted to go through three today. We're just going to go through two because as I was doing research for the last one, I started to realize like if we looked at it through a certain angle, we really could

go deep into it. And it's like a pretty scary sort of like governmenty conspiracy, which could be kind of fun. So we're going to save that one for later. I'm not even going to allude to it. But once this is done, once these two episodes are done, you know, I can kind of like get back to things that I want to do that are more in the original Batman animated series, maybe JFK or something like that, or probably, you know, another Mathis episode about aliens,

which is, you know, inevitable. Those are fucking infinite. That's what I'm saying. Like we we're never going to stop searching. We're never going to stop looking until the aliens are knocking on my door asking if I want to go into their spaceship with them. But yeah, these are two of the weirdest fucking things I've ever found on the Internet. Don't look them up if you if you're listening because what about us?

What's Jesse's and my rules? You I mean, you guys, I wouldn't look them up either. Like, honestly, this shit is so fucking weird. I'll give you some links and stuff that you can look at as we go. But like, holy fucking shit. This is this is this is truly some bizarre stuff. I don't know what my favorite version of storytelling. Don't look this up.

Just wait till I'm done. I'm done. Just wait. I have to say and believe it. Don't check. You know, I took time to like structure the story in a way where like narrative elements of the story reveal that key points to keep it interesting. So I'm just saying, like, you know, for the 20 minutes that I have you here, just don't

read ahead. That's all. So the first one comes mainly. So this. So this this mystery is and don't turn off the podcast and go away when I tell you this one. Why is that? Why is that the preface?

Because this mystery, this mystery is known on the Internet as Captain Kuchy's key lime pies. Okay. So sorry. Get out of here. Get out of here if you're not ready to talk about that right now. But this Christmas we're talking about. All right.

Adios. We're going to be talking about Captain Kuchy's key lime pies. So don't turn off the podcast. I promise it's fucking interesting. I don't know if I should be disappointed, entertained, impressed. Yeah. Captain Kuchy's key lime pies. Jesse can't stop himself.

He's like, I got him. You're telling me. You're telling me that your Batman beyond first episode is Captain Kuchy's. No, my first Batman beyond episode was the hotel room 322. This is the ink episode with the swirly face guy. Okay. So get ready. Get ready.

Power down. We're getting into that. My favorite part about this is it has wonderful alliteration. Captain Kuchy's key lime pies. Captain Kuchy's key lime pies. That's the actual name of this episode when I upload it. Well, wait. We'll see.

Don't worry. So this first one, it mainly comes from a post that started like a couple years ago called, there's a user on Reddit user key lime WTF from like three years ago. Turns out they're like a student at Humboldt State University. Right. And one day they're reading through a piece on their, their student, like the student paper website. There's a piece about fallatio.

It's like a like man on the street type like interview piece about like oral sex, which happened to be the most popular article on the site, which obviously, you know, it's just like the sexy headline probably made it popular. Website was called the lumberjack.org. And she noticed that of the three comments that there were on the article, one of them, which was by this dude called Roger Ramjet, which if you don't know you or like 1960s like comedy spy cartoons, he's this dude who like was like a government superhero type, Captain America type guy.

And he took pills that gave him 20 seconds of superpowers. Only 20 seconds at a time, 20 seconds at a time. And so, yeah, basically Roger Ramjet writes this post and it's fucking wild. And this article is no longer available on the lumberjack site. I was able to grab a capture of it via the way back machine. I'll send you the link afterwards so you can chuck it into the show notes for anybody who wants to read. I'll try and see if I can give you a direct link to the archive site just to see the post.

So basically it says, I'm going to read you like a portion of this post and it just goes like this. It has all like almost every word is capitalized and there's a lot of ellipses. I tried the Captain Kuchy's key lime pies and those pie gasms healed all my symptoms within the first four weeks. I highly recommend Captain Kuchy's key lime pies for anything that ails you. They're great. Kobe Bryant may be retiring from basketball, but Captain Kuchy's is still his pie of choice.

Can't get enough of that key lime pie, key lime pie, key lime pie. Can't get enough of that key lime pie or I'll just cry until I die. I don't know why. I just love my key lime pies. This key lime pie is for our old friend, the late great meadowlark lemon. Ripple, buddy. Keep spinning those pies, dude. This key lime pie goes out to our other buddy, Glenn Fry.

Rock and roll heaven just keeps filling up. So Glenn, take it easy, buddy. Or as you always said, you'll take it any way you can get it. We hate to sound like a broken record, but here is a key lime pie for our buddy, Maurice White, founder of the great group Earth, Wind and Fire. Rest in peace, dude. And it goes on like that for like five times as long. So obviously OP starts like googling this shit and what they find spread all over the

entire internet attached to hundreds of articles about sex, things, key lime pie recipes, posts from all different usernames, but most of them have the name Jake Carson or Island Man, Craig Carvel, Vinny Gambini, Jenny McMasters and then also like celebrity and fictional character names like obviously like Roger Ramjet or Bet Midler or George Bush or even like Elwood Blue from the Blues Brothers. And some of the posts they found are literally copies of others, but a lot of them aren't and they just ramble just like this. And sometimes they even like talk to each other cogently as if somebody's like writing

a conversation with themselves and they always keep coming around to the same couple subjects as you kind of saw. There's a guy named Captain Cucci Palayas, his wife Anita Palayas, a restaurant that may or may not have existed in Asheville, North Carolina that may or may not have been called everything from Cucci's Key West Bar and Grill to Miss Anita and Captain Cucci Palayas' Key West Cucha Ridaville Key Lime Pie Factory in Grill, which is also referred to as The Place to Be since 1976. So at first people were sure that a place like this was probably just made up and that

it was just like some weird beam or something like that. And the only thread they found that led to like a real Captain Palayas was this guy Mark Palayas, who's a retired chief of U.S. Naval Research. And then there was a woman on his staff or something who worked under him who was named Anita Jones, but not Palayas and they weren't romantically involved at all. So it kind of felt like a dead end. But eventually this user, Kafka Lover, searched some public records and found that the restaurant did actually exist because there was a record of the deed to the restaurant changing hands

from the owner Oswald C. Palayas to Cucci Palayas and his wife Anita, who he got married to in 1989. But some of the YouTubers that have covered this story in the past went on to the Asheville, North Carolina subreddit and they found some people who actually used to go to this business who said it was pretty chill. They had like good mozzarella sticks or some shit like that. But they closed in the 90s and maybe the building was even knocked down. People were able to find like a sort of like dilapidated building at an address that actually

looked broken down and you could even see a little sign on it that said Key West. So it seems like the restaurant at least is a real place. But and remember, I said this had nothing to actually do with this. The book where they found the Navy guy, Mark Palayas and Anita Jones. It's a book called Naval Innovation for the 21st Century. It's a nonfiction book and they found it because you can you know how you can like search the texts of books on Google Books. Yeah, so that's this is how they found this and there's only one review for that book

on Google Books and it reads like this. I sure hope that this will be a great opportunity for everyone to see some of Don's scenes from his production of his classic hit Tales from Coocherytaville. You know that Rickles and Johnny Carson together produced those comedy hits about their friend Mr. Coochie Palayas and their wild and crazy exploits of Coochie's Key West and the world of Keylon Pies from the perspective of Johnny Carson, Don Rickles, Coochie Palayas and Steve Martin's Eyes. What a hoot these classic hits surely were.

Don't miss them. So be sure to tune in next month. We laughed our asses off until we cried watching those funny movies. The Tales from Coocherytaville. I think that they may still be available in a box set. What? So it was a it was a show? No, this is just another review.

Literally, they found they just went looking for this book. Like they literally just were like searching for the book. They were just searching the name Captain Palayas. They found this book. They found this guy Palayas on the ship and somebody named Anita who worked for him and independently of their own search already attached to that book on the Google Books review site was this review, which clearly is written by the same person that's doing this everywhere. And just and just so that you really let this like just so that this fully sinks in,

like in terms of scale, we're talking about hundreds of accounts, hundreds of sites, maybe thousands of accounts on thousands of sites branching out now. It's not just about sex anymore. It's not just about key lime pies everywhere. It's been happening since 2009. Now that you think. Yeah, do you think it's possible that somebody like created a bot? It's possible. It's possible.

But over these 10 years, nobody knows anything about it. There's no answer to how they're getting through the captchas on all these websites because typically these sites where you find this stuff, it you know, you need to have prove you're not a bot. Yeah. And I bet you now that you if you're like a person who's listening to this and you go on the Internet a lot and you go to like weird sites and you go down rabbit holes all the time, I bet you you will probably find one of these independently of this of searching for it. I bet you you will find one on something somewhere that you go.

That's how ubiquitous we're talking about like actually. So at first, like you just said, you're probably going to want to say this probably like a bot gone haywire. But you think about all the websites, all the captchas. You think about this just the scale. Like we're talking about thousands of logins. We're talking about this is like even for 10 years to be doing this. This has got to be something that you do for hours, hours of your day.

And also a lot of the a lot of the messages are like weirdly specific and nonsensical. And some people even say that like they've talked to people because they find like Facebook pages under the names of some of the people that like like other Facebook pages have to do with pie. There's like there's traces of this going through like every website, everything people. So one person who's like a YouTuber, I think message somebody they found on Facebook called Jake Carson, which is like the main name that these these posts are under. It's one of many, but it's like probably the most frequently seen is Jake Carson.

And he saw something on Facebook about the piegasm thing. And so he, he, he, he contacted him and he, he, he purposefully was hiding his IP address while he was doing all this. But even so, not letting on that he was in Sweden, this Facebook profile sent him like Google translated Swedish and it was a, it's a, it's a, it's a quote that I'm obviously when I'm translating it backwards from Swedish through Google translate, but I'm pretty sure that it's like some stuff from PT, the game. Like the game, the game PT by Hideo Kojima and Gamerotoro and stuff.

And so it leads me to believe that there is maybe like an actual person somewhere in this mix. Like granted, those things are not confirmed connected. And just because of the nature of this, there's no way to confirm anything is connected to anything. But like, because it's so weird, like the only thing anyone can think of besides it being some like weird loner guy who just does this a lot is maybe that it's like, you know, or like, you know, it's like a bot that's like going haywire and doing like a weird algorithm.

The only other thing it could maybe be is like some type of messaging system for some type of corporate espionage or like some type of government spying. Oh, like a coded back and forth. Yeah. So maybe you like, like those number stations that maybe you just send, maybe you just send the URL to the person or a redirect to the person and then they find the comment and they like can decipher it, something like that. And maybe it's just been like something that nobody knows what the fuck it is.

But it's just so weird that it's based on this real place and these real things in such a, in such a like creative way, you know what I mean? Like it almost, it almost feels like a, like a calculated joke a little bit. Is there modern follow ups? I know you mentioned it's been around since 2009. Yeah. Is this still an ongoing thing? Yeah, dude, it shows up.

It shows up constantly. Like a video just came out recently about this. Like, I mean, you can look at them. There's a couple from a year ago. Well, I mean, I mean, I mean, people still find posts video. All right, that's what I was asking. Video wise, I imagine people can still make videos about it. But I was wondering if like, are the posts still active?

Yeah, people still find posts all the time. Somebody found one on a, like on the last video that I saw, it was like, I don't know how old the video was, maybe like a year old, but it was like, I found another one on a post from TMZ from four days ago. Like it's still going on. And the only other lead is that one dude on the Asheville subreddit or Asheville, I don't know how to pronounce it. I'm not from North Carolina.

I apologize. But on that subreddit, one guy said he remembered some type of like autistic guy or mentally handicapped guy who used to hang around the restaurant and maybe kind of half worked there, who used to obsess over the key line pies and how good they were. But that seems to me to be very convenient solution to this mystery that it's just like some guy who like loved the pie and just never stopped loving it. Um, but also, uh, somebody found out that, um, Oswald Palaeus,

who is allegedly the father to Coochie Palaeus. Coochie Palaeus, Coochie, Coochie. I don't know. It's K. It's K U. It's K U T C H I E. So it's really the jury's really out. Uh, but Oswald Palaeus, uh, he apparently he also owned some other lands. Um, in Asheville, he owns like a dilapidated mansion and he's trying to like wait.

Like last we heard from like 2016, he's waiting for Obama to get out of office. He doesn't sound like he likes Obama very much. And he's, he's like, he's like, I'm waiting for the market to get better. Like once Obama's done and then he's going to try and build like a hotel situation. So I don't know what kind of guy this is. I don't know if this could be some type of like SEO thing that he's involved in that has to do with his previous business. Captain, Captain Coochie's key lime pie factory or whatever the fuck.

But this is a long con is what you're thinking. Like this guy is out there. It could be, it could be some like SEO hijinks. You know what I mean? It could be something, but I don't know. Like there's so many things like if you want to see some of these examples of this stuff, here's some images of, uh, I'll send you this thread here, Mathis, and then you can grab all the links from it for later.

Yeah, please do. This is like, um, there's like some images on this page. Where are you sending this? Oh, there it is. Yeah. You can look at, you can look at the images that have, because a lot of the posts like get like discarded or disappear. Like the original article where the person found it is gone now.

There's a very famous one that's the barbecue lovers review from Robert Jensen. That's now gone. If you go to that, if you go to that barbecue review now, there's only one review on it and it's not that one. But this, this, this site here has some Imgur, uh, captures of it. If you see like halfway down, there's like a couple and you can see some more stuff. But it also has the link to the previous two Reddit threads on this link here. So you can, so you can kind of like follow the whole story that way.

And then there's a couple of videos online. But man, it's just a mystery that I just don't, I don't have an answer to. It seems so involved for it to just be like some type of like meaningless prank. I'm sure there's some type of explanation for it, but the more and more that I read these fucking like posts, there's so, I'll read, I'll read some of the Jensen one to you guys real quick. I'll read like the first paragraph of it and you can just see how weird it is. Oh yes.

Cause this is a, this is a barbecue lovers website, but it's a key lime pie recipe on that, on that website. Oh yes. We've heard a lot of great compliments about Anina Palayas and her husband, Kuchy, after nearly 40 years of marriage, even though they got married in 1989. And we certainly want to congratulate them for being happily married for such a long time. We sure don't see much of that these modern day times. We read that food magazine article about the couple sometime last year,

a very interesting article it was. It explained how Anita and Kuchy have been a working partner team since before they were even married, as well as being in the restaurant and key lime pie business for around 35 years. And how hand in hand they worked together during the good times as well as not so good times from the Nixon days through Obama, even through several recessions. Also, where Kuchy stated that when they first opened ribeye steak was only $1.25 per pound. And as of the time of the article that it was costing them $12 to $15 per pound. And that's wholesale.

He also stated that him and Anita use his only organic Fred certified black egg as beef from the top steaks, prime ribs, steak sandwiches, all the way to the cheeseburgers that have become very famous over the years. He even does the cutting of their fine meats and the grinding of the beef for their famous burgers. He stated that we're seeing cheeseburgers in paradise. They're serving cheeseburgers in paradise years before anybody heard of Jimmy Buffett's name, even before his hit song Margaritaville. It's no wonder Anita and Kuchy's guests call it at their place wasting away in Kuchy,

Ritaville. I guess if anyone knows, they should know. There's a bunch more of it too. But it's just this like that doesn't sound like a bot to me. It sounds like it's it like if it is a bot, it sounds like it's something that's like copy pasted from another article. But this business went out of business in the 90s before the internet was like the way that it is today with all the like Yelps and stuff on it. There's something about this that is both at one time very weird. Yeah. But also because of the nature of the internet, I'm hesitant to buy in completely because I know that the internet's full of people that are like, I'll do it too.

And so they do it just to like mess around. But yeah, I don't know. It's weird. It's like a weird thing. You would be surprised how many we're talking about. You would be you would be surprised how many articles it is. But I also feel like seven billion people in the world. There's got to be some people are like, even if there was even if there was a bunch of people clown and you'd think at least one person out there like just judging by the sheer volume of the post, somebody would say they've done one. And I haven't seen that. I haven't seen that anywhere. And honestly, the logins are like the same across some of the sites. Like I think somebody owns some of these frequent posting accounts. And like even there's like a connection to

an address in Utah, some city in Utah that like one of the LinkedIn profiles was linked to and then a couple other profiles were also like, you know how like on forums, sometimes it says like posted from something like that on the bottom of the post, like a couple of people were finding like inordinate amount of them were linked to this one city in Utah. So there's there's threads to follow and there's a lot deeper. You can go down this, but not in a way where I can like concisely explain it to you. But that's really just that whole mystery in a nutshell right there. It's just so fascinating to me. And I I love this mystery because anybody can go look and find something new anytime. And there's always people on Reddit who are looking for for stuff

about this one. And I don't think the answer is coming anytime soon. Pretty wild, right? It's yeah, it's interesting that there's just you just want to know I just want to know if it's a fucking like somebody set up a bot like I'm not necessarily inclined to believe what Jesse said, but I agree. Like my brain went there too, is like did a bunch of people random people see this and go, haha, now I'm going to make it even weirder and then start posting even like weird shit in their own versions. There's the exponential factor, right? Like I believe probably that there is an original meaning behind all of this. There's something that existed at one point, probably in 2009, 2010, like that this really was about whatever that may be. But I definitely

think that over the years, because more and more people talk about it and the internet is just like the place where this happens for sure. I believe that at this point, most of what you're seeing is people just doing the key lime pie cult. It could be a key line. I just don't know. Like in my mind, I thought you're about to tell us that this was a key lime pie that gave celebrities their pie. I thought you were about about like the reason why this exists is that the key lime pie gave celebrities their their charm. That's what impregnated Beyonce. Like it's like some new age like of like a like a like a self cleanse type thing. That's what I thought the first thing like when he first started talking about, I was like, Oh yeah, of course it's going to be

this whole thing where this guy saying all these wealthy people got rich because they ate this key lime pie, but it wasn't the case at all. It could be. It could be. You don't know. There could be a key lime cabal. You could happen in room 322. Let me ask you this. How you guys been feeling about the letter K so far in this in this in this in this episode was a weird asked question. You want to go with another? What is about to happen? I don't like this. I mean, there's another there's another big name out there that starts with the K that we're about to touch on right now. And that's the second part of my this episode, the part two. And this this part of the episode is called Kanye Quest Ascensionism. Oh, no. Okay. Are you ready? Is it like KWESC? No, no, no,

it's just Kanye Quest. It's just Kanye. Is this his video game? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So that's what I was going to ask you. So this most this this this one is soldier boy system. This one. No, this is a real thing. So this one comes from Patricia Hernandez, who you may know from Kotaku. This is an article that she wrote in 2015. I love Patricia. Yeah. But the reason I want to talk to you about it four years later is that there's recently been a little bit more attention shined on it because there's been some more videos being made about it. And I thought this mystery was like done and sealed off and finished. But apparently, there's a little bit more going on shout outs to Nightmare Expo Nexpo, a recent channel that got like a million view video on this that I watched

that like reminded me of this mystery. But I totally remember when this happened. So do you remember what Kanye Quest is, first of all, just as its own thing? It is a RP, a sci fi RPG. Exactly. It's like a it's like a somebody made like a fan made sort of like viral hit JRPG in RPG Maker in 2013. And obviously, it's like obvious this was like when Kanye was like just normal crazy and not like weird Trump crazy. So like people still were kind of like positive on him in the press. And like and like this this game you like travel through you plays Kanye, you travel through a portal into the future to defeat like a twisted clone of Lil B, the base God. But amazingly, this mystery has almost nothing to do with the plot of this game, like maybe loosely like in a

symbolic way. But the plot of the game and like the playing of the actual game is very side to the actual mystery that's here. And that mystery was only discovered two full years later in January of 2015, when apparently some anonymous person posted like dumped a pace bin randomly out of nowhere, explaining like an extremely insane thing that happened to them when they went back and played the game because apparently they played apparently they played the game like when it first came out for like five minutes or something. And they were like, Oh, wow, Kanye RPG cool. And then they just like, you know, didn't pick it up again. And so they came back and played it and this thing happened to them. That's like super crazy. So apparently, there's these little fallout style

terminals that you can read in the game all over the place that you can get information. And this is like we're talking like Final Fantasy, Super Nintendo, Dragon Quest, Pokemon vibes like top down old school RPG. So you just walk up to the computer and you click it. And it's a little box of text right that shows up on the bottom of the screen. We're all familiar with this. A vibe as gamers with beards here gentlemen, right? But so this anonymous poster noticed one terminal that seemed a little off from the rest of them. And this one had it's really early in the game. The words in it were garbled, like almost like you're getting like a bad transition, transmission, like a radio transmission, like little like dots and like symbols instead of

some of the letters. And it looked like gibberish at first. And like, I think probably most people who play the game just sort of thought of it as gibberish. But if you look through that and you see what it actually says, it says, ascend and worship the based God. Okay. And a little later in the game, there's an NPC that's called the Task Force member early in the game, who you can talk to, who asked you the question, what do you want to do? And then you can write any six characters and she'll just go like, eat. I want to eat too. Right. So just like repeat what you write back to her. Right. What do you want to do? Jump, jump. I want to jump too. Right. But this person decided to write ascend based on this terminal that they read wrote ascend. And when this happened, I kid

you not, the screen flashed white. And when it comes back, you're not Kanye anymore. You're a tiny little butterfly floating through a giant black and white pyramid filled with more of these terminals. And eventually you get a message that's like this says congratulations. You have proven yourself to be an open minded and curious thinker. We must apologize for deceiving you. But we can reveal that the game you were playing until this point was a front constructed to protect what you are currently accessing. We must ask that you do not reveal this area to the public. If you believe that you may be prone to revealing information or do not wish to participate, please close this program immediately by pressing alt F4 or selecting the no option when it appears by selecting the

yes option. You agree to participate and not reveal information. Okay. And so if you click, so you click yes at that point, if you click no, it takes you right back to the title screen. But if you click yes, it says the following is a thought exercise designed to help teach you something beneficial by undertaking this exercise. You will hopefully be affected in a positive way due to the nature of this exercise. This something cannot be revealed immediately. This exercise may or may not be restricted to the software. It is important to remember that the purpose of this exercise is to benefit you. You will not be timed. We cannot provide any information except that we wish you good luck. You may begin now. Welcome to your ascension. And

before you think to yourself, this is just a paceman by an anonymous person that could just be making shit up and hacking this game or whatever. This is at the point in the article where Patricia Hernandez, intrepid reporter from kataku.com downloads the game herself, tries all this shit and keep in mind before this post in January of 2015, nowhere on the internet was anything about this anywhere mentioned. No video was made. No article was written. But this part of the game she verified is indeed from the original upload of the Kanye quest game because it's down now. You can't actually get the game now. It's been removed from the internet. You have to get it through a secondary source if you want to play it

now. But at the time when she wrote this article, she verified that the file that she was downloading, you could look at the version history and there had never been an update since it was originally uploaded on the day that the game came out. So this portion of the game that she played through and verified is actually real was actually designed and in the original version of this game. So just keep that in mind going forward because that's important. So she plays through it, she gets to the pyramid butterfly room and she notices that each of the terminals has like a Roman numeral attached to it and they kind of act like gates. So each one asks you for a word and you have to put the right word in or you can't go forward. So at this point she's stuck,

she goes back to the pace bin and the pace bin poster didn't know what to do either at first. But after trying to contact people who worked with the game, getting nowhere, they basically just datamined the game down to its mechanics and they found a bunch of passwords for the terminals to get through this level. And some of the words were simple words like idle or hatch. And then there's some other words like jagatai, which is a proper noun, which is like any of a few Turkish languages. And then flakken, which is like kind of like a flagon, you know, it's like a little stopper like perfume bottle type thing. Gotcha. Just like a mix of some very banal and some very weird words. And you have to put them all in and it takes about 40 minutes to do this

and you're just a little butterfly flying around doing this for about 40 minutes at like a reasonable pace. And every time you do it, as the things unlock, the room gets darker and darker and darker and it starts to get really creepy because the music is like not normal music. It's like kind of like how an undertale when shit starts to get weird, you know, starts to feel weird. But then on the last one, when you put the last password in, the screen flashes again and now you're on a blank screen, except you can still like walk around, you can still hear yourself walking around and you can still pull up the menu and stuff like that. And sometimes you can hit random enemy encounters in this state and the enemy has no sprite and it is called

all caps, J F Z Z J N M S and it doesn't do anything. It doesn't like attack or anything like that. So you wander around in this state for a while. There's one more terminal to find and this one gets a little weird. So this this is what happens when you talk to this terminal. It says you have proven your worth once again. You have ascended. However, further ascension is always possible. If you do not wish to ascend further, your journey ends here. So please close this program by pressing alt F four or selecting the no option above by selecting the yes option. You agree to participate further and you grant his permission to interact with your possessions. Would you like to participate? All right, that that part would be like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you

can choose yes. And then this is the message that you get, which is over the following two week time period, we will interact with you and your possessions in several ways. Keep an eye out as some of these ways may be subtle. Others may not be. We may attempt to contact you directly. If we do this, we will attempt to notify you of our presence using a keyword. If you still consent to participation, please select the yes option above. Do you wish to participate? And if you say yes again, the game asks you for your name, your address. And if you give it and you send it, it says enjoy the next two weeks and await instruction, which to me sounds very like recruiting cult recruiting. Well, yeah, that that kind of reminds me of do you remember back in,

I don't know how many years ago it was, that weird like, I think it was on Reddit that weird like recruitment thing with like the firefly or whatever it was, or is like, I love bees. Yeah, that's what I think you're, I think you think, oh, cicada might abandon. Yeah, then you're right. You're right. Yeah. Yeah. And it was like this weird puzzle that only the smartest people could figure out. And eventually it ended up just being a weird recruitment for like some white hacking group or some weird shit. Maybe. Maybe that's what I'm saying. That's what it sounds like. That's just what it reminds me of. Yeah. I mean, I mean, even the, even the cicada thing, just because of the nature of how like clandestine it is, we don't even know who that group is.

Like they say that they say they're a white hat hacker group, but nobody knows. But okay, so I think it sounds cult recruiting. And according to the paceman, if you go into the code of the game, this info that you type in doesn't actually get sent off to anyone. But after Googling some of the passwords that you have to type into the terminals and figuring out some deeper connections between some things in the game, it's people think it's probably connected to this like this one ARG, which was was a 72 page thread on a website that I used to spend a lot of time on on fiction, the forums for unfiction, which went down sometime in 2017 due to some sort of server maintenance issue or something like that, which is sad. But

you can still a lot of it's archived and they were very thorough with that. So you can go and look at those threads if you want. But the thread was investigating an ARG that was seemingly based around a real actual cult that exists. That's called ascensionism. And here's what the paceman says about that. Ascensionism is a new age cult that goes back to at least 2006. Its main beliefs focus around there being two spirits that make up a whole being, a physical spirit, the body, and the ethereal spirit, the soul. Long story short, souls live lifetime after lifetime until they reach a point where they are judged by themselves and after judged by themselves after a death and upon deciding they have been sufficiently good, destroy themselves and become primordial

soul stuffs from which new souls are born. So there's like a there's like a level up cycle and like a rejuvenation cycle. And apparently orthodox ascensionism believes that all souls before combining with the spirit of the body form packs with the souls of all beings that they will encounter into the future. So this leads the ascensionist belief that any harm done to a person was agreed upon prior by their soul during a contract signing with the other person's soul and that they were quite literally asking for it, thus justifying any harm they can perpetuate against people or perpetrate against people. What a useful excuse to all horrible things you do in life. So now check this out and what I said about the plot of Kanye Quest. They also believe that

if a person is cloned their soul is split into two parts and as such they do not truly die until the clones are dead because any soul from a dead clone or originator will just wander until it finds another clone with the same host spirit and will combine with it. This is bad to ascensionists. This is bad when this happens. They believe that if a soul lives on for too long it becomes corrupted by the bad circumstances it has accumulated and will become evil and twisted over time because they cannot be purged of their experiences by death to start anew. So if you imagine Lil B just keeps cloning himself over and over again for a thousand years and then now we're in this like a it's like in Scientology when you start accumulating too many Theatons, dude. Yeah,

exactly. It's very much like a JRPG boss setup which is so funny for this game. But they believe that souls become evil and are wandering from clone to clone and they're the shadow people that you see. Those like wandering souls are the shadow people. How interesting, interesting is peace for shadow people. Yeah, according to them there are some ancient group of nine people or so who have lived for centuries by cloning themselves repeatedly and indefinitely and their clones are what constitute the majority of the shadow people seen today, like these nine people's clones. Not really centuries per se because ascensionists measure time in eons that are determined by a certain number of lifetimes the spirit has but whatever.

This goes back to the plotline of the game where all of the evil characters were continued clones of wrappers who had accumulated evil by being alive for so long and never truly dying. While the good characters aside from Kanye who jumps through a portal to the future were clones that have been dormant for so long that they couldn't accumulate the bad energies gained through the experience. So I looked I looked into this ARG and it does seem like there's a connection between them because a lot of the words and key phrases that were being used to get you through these terminals in Kanye Quest were worth parts of the QR codes. There's QR codes in Kanye Quest that like connect to this ARG. It's pretty likely I think that the ARG and the game were at least

originally intended to be connected. I don't know what the deal is because I don't know if this was how this game was supposed to go or maybe they were going to update it eventually once the game went live with a way to actually send off your details to the to this cult or whatever today. But there's also this other element to this ARG that involves like a YouTube channel that has these like weird noise rock songs on it that's like an ascensionism record label that I think is at youtube.com slash ascend today I think it is and then there's also a Twitter that was only shut down recently like very recently like in the last couple months even though this mystery has been going since at least 2013 yeah a couple years before that there's also a the Twitter was ascend today

and you can go look at it but it's it's gone it's been replaced by another thing and then there was another game that these people also released and removed from the internet was called Calypso which there are videos of online but now that all these links are dead and not well archived for this Kanye Quest game like this element of the game was not considered part of the ARG till late in the game and then so a lot of links are dead the games are hard to come by nowadays it's also it's equally hard to find out whether or not the version of the game that you have has been tampered with in any way yeah but it's also one of those things where it's an offline game so it's not like they're you're sending data well that's what I'm saying it's like maybe this ARG

if this ARG was like an actual ARG that was being puppet mastered by an like an active entity right and that entity is a cult that's trying to recruit people like you know I think it's possible that maybe what happened here was like a thing that happens to a lot of ARGs uh which is that they have a grand scope and they start doing it and the interest level is not exactly where they wanted it to be in terms of the game in terms of the ARG part and then they have to end up sort of like closing it down before it happens and I think that's possibly what happened with Kanye Quest because I think maybe they were getting to the point where I think they were probably getting to the point where either they were going to update the game with a way to connect to the internet

to actually send this information somewhere to maybe send you a package to your house or to maybe you know further the game in some way sometimes you know people do that where they where there's like an IRL element to the game where you get mailed something or you meet up with somebody in real life and so I think it could be something like that but the thing is because this cult is like a real cult and there is a sort of blurred line of involvement with regard to this ARG which independently of Kanye Quest people began to suspect was a recruitment process for this cult like if you go if you go through the if you go through the thread on unfiction which is still there in the in the wayback machine you can read it and you can see that people the whole time are

increasingly concerned that they're being recruited for a cult and the fact that the fact that the Kanye Quest element of this ARG if that's what it is was like a lead-up directly to a recruitment thing where you submit your name and address it just seems a little a little freaky and it's also you know telling maybe that this game disappeared around the time that this other element of it was discovered it's interesting um I actually I'm with you on that I don't think it's necessarily like I can see some cult feeling like they're smarter and by doing something like this be like this is a genius way to find the smart people that we need in our cult or whatever when in reality it's like you know you look at it and it's like that's creepy but a lot of the creepy factors because we

don't know the truth behind it where like I like you say the cult probably you're the whoever was recruiting may have just abandoned the project once it got to a certain point because it's like ah this didn't go as well as I wanted it to yeah I mean especially with the other game like if you look at the other game Calypso that game is even weirder like it doesn't even have like elements of gameplay you just sort of like it's almost as if the whole game is like the pyramid part and it's all this weird shit that happens and all these weird codes and audio files that play so and it plays it plays it plays uh audio from people who submitted voicemails of themselves during the ARG it's crazy can I just uh blow your mind I'm on youtube I went to go search

for the for the thing you said but instead I found I found youtube.com slash user slash andromeda UGC and it has one video it says ascensionism records it has one video and I'm terrified to click on this video all right all right hang on it's the video is labeled zero zero one it's from four months ago four thousand views oh man I'm gonna turn my headphones down become the one you desire to be is what it says what's the name of the user sorry uh andromeda UGC UGC I'm not okay oh look at the freaking icon oh what is that picture dude I'm saying I'm not clicking this it's I'm going in FBI warning this is yeah FBI warning church got some like backwards bells playing the comments on this video are so good there's like low I like the

unique use of white shrewt there's low reverse voice some fucked up shit oh oh yeah oh it's playing some high frequencies into my ears at the end so I fast forward a little bit definitely there's like people puking there's like bloody walls I'll record some of the audio here and I'll put it into the episode so people can hear like a bit of like the weird talking yeah I mean it's funny 16 hours ago there's a there's a there's a comment on this video that's like I hope we can solve the mystery of this cult I love that this is the worst almost every single person in the comments are cult members I found out about this is like somebody walk whoa whoa whoa that's what I'm saying they're starting to get wild

walking in the graveyard and it does a flash cut to what looks like a decomposing face oh yeah I see that now whoa no I'm trying to hold you it starts to get worse you know Dwight looks bad dude there's something around with Dwight oh is that Dwight is that Dwight is that like a photoshopped image of Dwight it's like screaming and Dwight shrewt holy shit I have not seen this but there's a lot of stuff like this out there oh yeah that is Dwight shrewt isn't it yeah okay yeah but yeah this whole thing Kanye this cult this ARG that's like not even it's like almost been deleted from the internet except this video came out in August like that's what I'm saying this video is brand new there's

the thing about these internet mysteries that's so weird is that shit is always happening and I don't know what it is yeah like like normally they were just doing like a crash test dummy thing but they were putting like one of the dummies in the back it was like some dude like muffled screaming and then the car just drove off while he was screaming yeah like normally I try and avoid these things that are clearly like creative things by people that are just being uploaded to the internet but the extra wrinkle on this one that there's this real cult involved to me is very interesting but I've also to be fair I've heard from some people who are part of this cult who are like we're not a cult you can be any religion to be part of this

uh you know this is this does not necessarily represent our actual values but I don't know because it's not a very it's a fringe group if you have to say we're not a cult you're definitely a cult yeah dude yeah even my even my improv group you still joke about that fair warning to those who might go seek this out like just so you know like that the end is like a woman who slits her own throat and her head comes off and stuff so just in this video yeah holy I'm glad I didn't watch to the end go to uh if you go to um well at 320 yeah go to 319 and you just watched the last few seconds there don't do that don't do that good that's fuck that's weird that's wild and it's just and then it goes it cuts to like a weird marionette doll just staring at the screen

yeah so I don't I don't know what this is there there the mystery is laid out before the Kanye quest ascensionism but like I said I'm obsessed with internet mysteries and I need to move on I have one more I have one more topic uh oh sorry I know you got one more topic yeah comment here you can hear the Kanye quest exercise room music at the beginning of this video get the fuck out of here see I yeah I don't know but you see that's that's that's that could be reverse engineered who knows um but yeah I have one other topic in this in this genre I guess before I'm gonna I'm ready to put it to bed for a while but that one's gonna have to be a whole episode onto itself because I'm excited it goes a little deeper than I realized and it's actually kind of

fun and uh it's a totally different flavor than either of these which are also totally different flavors from each other uh but as we all know the best flavor is key lime pie so please sure do we want to wrap up with a little bit of a story for this one yeah so we had an idea me and Mathis were talking yesterday and we had the idea that like you know sometimes you know we shouldn't let like a subject that that doesn't have that much to report on stop us from telling you guys about it if it's interesting enough but we also want to give you a nice chunky podcast so we thought it might be a cool idea if uh sometimes when we need to we throw in like a little backup story from one of you listeners little reader stories because you guys said so many love to see

it yeah and so we figured we might do one more we might do one reader story for you guys to just close out the episode it's a nice short one uh this one actually comes from uh somebody who's been in the community for a while uh you may know him uh as omfg blondie blondie he dropped yeah blondie all blondie yeah exactly he dropped us he dropped us a story uh to read on the podcast it is called the tumped the origin of santa claus so I figured it was a good one I don't okay blondie coming in with a christmas save at the end I don't believe it yeah he came on the christmas save keep it on keep it on keep us on keep us on theme this week we love to see it yeah yeah we're gonna keep it on theme for people so it begins most of the things that are talked about on the

podcast are aliens cryptids or other modern folklore things from the 1900s generally these 50s 60s or 70s so I thought I'd bring some things that are older like way older let's go back hundreds of years with some old world folklore this is the tale of the gnome a Scandinavian folktale that stretches back as far as the viking age long before christianity reached these lands and possibly even further back than that in those days stories and histories were told to one's children who would tell their children and so on and so on for centuries its name is different across the north languages but I'll focus on the swedish version that was taught to me as a child tompte tom like the name and teh like from winter so tom from winter in modern days tompte

swedish for the gnome or for the santa more commonly refers to the character of Santa Claus and hopefully you will see where some of the inspirations for old saint nick came from at the end of the story in swedish the name tompte roughly translates to homestead man which is derived from tompte meaning homestead while few saw the tompte in the flesh more on that later they were often described as short statured only about three feet tall they were always male and sported a white or gray long beard they wore a gray coat and breeches along with a red pointed cap so already you can kind of see where where some of the modern day santa styles are coming from yeah i'm santa tending to a farm in the olden days was hard work one bad case of weather or sickness among

your cattle and your entire family could starve for an entire winter when the days only last a scant few hours and temperatures stay below freezing for months at a time so it was important that you had good help on your farm and one of these helpers were the tompte the tasks of the tompte is almost always described as the same no matter when or where you find the stories from using their magical abilities they tended to the stables the barns and especially the animals within those buildings so this guy's just straight up help to me so far this sounds great i just want yeah i'm not i'm not i'm not bad he kind of actually sounds more like like santa's l i'd love to be haunted by this specter he just haunted by the the swedish gnome he just like cleans my car

it just shows up vacuum like shop vacs my car when i need that get the like french fry dust and peanuts off well it continues as the tompte is a shy being so maybe you would maybe he'd be quiet while he did it and seeing one would and if you saw him it would actually cause bad luck for you in your family that's why yeah that's kind of so i have to just let him do it and not even try and be supportive if you and if you hear it you just gotta ignore it you could be being robbed by like your local farm neighbor but if you think it's the tompte you don't want to look i see whether that was in whether that was an inherent property of the tompte or if trying to find one would simply make it mad is unclear but one thing is for sure nothing good could come out of trying to find one

aiding it in its hiding was the ability uh was the ability for it to turn invisible while invisible the tompte would observe you and everything that was happening on the farm sounds like jeff the mongoose it would see you at all times even when you're sleeping even though people wouldn't see the tompte around the farm the evidence of its presence would be clear as even a small invisible being leaves tiny footsteps in the snow the tompte was neither an inherently good nor bad creature much like a lot of old folklore characters and is often described as loyal but mischievous towards those who they consider lazy greedy or uncouth if it already has magic powers why are we like why are we like well it's definitely gonna have footprints well because

that's just physics alex if you're invisible or not if you can turn invisible why can't you just make your feet not touch well also why is it when i look at you i get bad luck is it like an aura is it like a stank are you going out of your way to ruin my life if he's invisible and he's working on my car can i like give him tips you instead of leaving him cookies and milk you leave him wrenches and like tools well i'm technically not looking at him right if he's invisible that's true that's technically true if he's invisible and watching your ass you are you can't see him so you're not right but like can i be like yeah when you do my car can you like if you go if you do it invisible i'll cook you like a like a sandwich i'll bring you a sandwich

while you do it i you know what it doesn't say anything about not offering him food but we'll see we'll see what happens here i just want to get into like a symbiotic like if this is relationship you know i gotta you know the truth is out there the truth the truth is out maybe these related to the puck wudgy dude dude that guy's the puck wudgy miserable whenever i just hear the word puck wudgy i just think of like drunken revelry that's that was the night um anyway on onward the stories say that to get in with its good graces a simple singular ritual has to be performed take notes alex this is it okay every year with its winter solstice which is during christmas time and in some stories it had to be on christmas eve specifically that's

tomorrow that's tomorrow you would put out a dish of porridge for the tomta and to enjoy in these festive times porridge would be served with a dollop of butter on it remember butter was a precious commodity back in the day and still is if the butter crisis of 2011 is anything to go by i didn't i didn't know there was a butter crisis of 2011 he there was yeah there's a hyperlink here so clearly yeah there was a butter crisis the world is something that we as as as privileged americans who don't know about world events just it's sailed by yes we most of us did not care i imagine is there like a quick history about our butter that we don't like that's not our butter is not butter so that's what i mean right i should like that yeah the norwegian

butter crisis occurred towards the end of 2011 to an acute shortage of butter which led to a sharp rise in the price of butter in the norwegian market the crisis caused prices to rise and butter deliveries to stores of to sell out in minutes according to the danish evening newspaper bt norway was arrested during a time of butter panic what the fuck it happened all right uh if you neglected to give the tomte its butter it would be spurned similarly you could not skimp on the butter or ruin the dish with too much butter so it's like a mix between like a kebler elf and like goldilocks yes he's very picky about how much butter you put on it not too much not too little don't spurn him if the tomte was happy with what you offered it you would find an empty bowl the

next morning and this meant that you had a good year ahead of you sometimes small articles of clothing would be put out for the tomte such as a new coat or a pair of knitted mittens but you had to be careful for they were easily irritable there was only one way to get rid of a tomte from your farm on the day of the winter solstice you would simply ask it to leave and hope that it wouldn't retaliate by burning down your barns this is a fucked up creature no i'm calling it all he's like i'll help you i'll fuck up your life it depends on my mood did you give me enough butter i'm calling garyl garyl's gonna call it garyl i'm gonna make this easier i'm done dude this thing sounds like it would be just like uh it's such an easy job for him yeah i wonder if he would even take

payment you'd be like whatever i kill these things he would he would take every day garyl would take payment he would take payment uh in history the tomte is often referred to as a being uh as being a spirit of the earth and further back a spirit of a deceased farmer what oh the there's like a smeagle type character at the beginning of this origin who like the original like the original like corrupted man who became like tomte the smeagle yeah it goes so i guess you're yeah going on it says in some legends they live in the farm's burial mounds where the families would bury their dead this is before christianity brought around the custom of like having a cemetery uh this seems to suggest that the tomte might not be a creature at all but instead a manifestation

of the remnant souls of the farm's ancestors you know i'm sorry i'm sorry you know they they sweeten the deal on santella you know what i mean like what fuck your family if they're like mad at you and so the remnant spirits burn your barns down because you asked it to go away that's boo that's boo big that's like yeah but that's like you know grumpy grandpa dude i'm hiring i'm hiring sweet they care yeah i'm here to re kill my grandfather grandpa's up again go yeah some sources cite the tomte as being the first farmer who tilled the land ever others say again it doesn't say it just says the i'm i'm assuming it means the first farmer who tilled the land on that particular farm oh um so others say that whenever a new farm was constructed it would be there with

the first load of timber to ensure that everything was done correctly what is this guy hopefully you enjoyed this little christmasy bit of folklore uh and if there's interest i might do a write up on some other swedish folklore like the naked man or the exchangling well then which i'm interested in both of those my man so feel free like new york too that's he there's a lot of naked man in time square i read a thing uh on the internet that was like a slide from like some type of like uh anthropologists like presentation or something and it was like if you stand naked on your porch and no one can see you you are rural if you live if you stand naked on your porch and somebody calls the police on you you're suburban and if you stand naked on your perch and on your porch

and people ignore you you are you're the city yeah that's great well bloody thank you for that story i could see like a lot of similarities to like leaving things out and things disappearing overnight and getting good luck it's just top this way meaner yeah he's just a it's a raw deal if you're bad he doesn't try and burn your down your livelihood yeah i'm good on that what is he what how do you kill him put silver on him all the only yeah yeah why are you trying to kill him i just don't want your style goodbye i don't want to i don't want to get involved i don't want to get involved in the deal can i just walk up well you have no choice you're in the deal you have no choice on the night of the winter solstice you have to ask him to leave and hope that he says yes

and doesn't burn down your house but what if he tries can i just can't i throw a little like net but if you can't because if you look at it you're gonna have bad luck anyway i'm a real net i just throw a little chain mail net over it won't that burning won't that burn his skin if i have a me thrill silver silver my dude that's what you want one of the a me throw net i the elder metals burn the beast's skin right right right right if you get the elder metal if you dig deep enough you will find the elder metals you know i you know it's all about paranormal theories out here on this on the podcast you're right you're totally right christmas everybody merry christmas everybody the next episode will be yet another alex episode and to give a teaser

as to what's coming up after that we've got a we've got a big a bunch of multi-parters kind of getting worked at we got mk ultra being worked on and to the much requested skinwalker ranch is also being worked on so be excited we're still a few weeks out from each of those but uh i wasn't kidding about jfk either i think i'm gonna no not at all i'm not gonna do like the comprehensive story but i'm gonna at least try and attend part documentary series by alex faciana each episode is an hour long maybe i'll do like the crazy version of jfk and just like focus on some some of the wilder ideas i don't know we'll see we'll see yeah uh also before we go hey uh the eddie store has the leftover posters up now so you can go grab those posters signed signed glow in the dark and

they're not like flimsy paper they're like like no it's like a nice black like sort of fit feels handcrafted it's very nice there's only a few left grab them while they're up there and uh i believe there's still a few t-shirts and hats before they end up having to restock they'll likely end up restocking after the holiday season so grab that stuff not as always if you want to leave us yeah no never it's never too late and wrap that and show it to your friend that you got them some chilluminati here yeah you got them into a cult without them even having to ask it has a great logo this cult don't worry it does it's great if you want to leave your own stories chilluminati pod subreddit that's where you want to drop them we're in there all the time reading

up some stories and if you want to hit us on our social medias mathis games for myself jesse cox for jesse faciana a for alex and for the podcast itself chilluminati pod wherever you're listening drop us reviews we are 25 reviews from the thousand review mark oh shit so let's cross that thousand review mark maintaining that five star average still um we were the number 17 improv comedy uh podcast in the us two weeks ago you love to see it so thanks shout outs to appreciate it close we we made it baby we did it we did it uh we'll see you guys in the next one thank you so much for listening goodbye bye bye want to do something good for you and good for the earth this spring we mean really really good just look for proven winners color choice shrubs in

the white containers at your local garden center and plant them in your yard they've all been trialed and tested for your success so you provide a little bit of tlc and they'll provide for years to come proven winners color choice a better landscape starts with a better shrub