Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 62 - Dark Corners of the Internet

Episode Date: August 3, 2020

Patreon - http://www.patreon.com/chilluminatipod BUY OUR MERCH - http://theyetee.com/collections/chilluminati Soundcloud - @chilluminatipodcast Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/ThatOneLaserClown Art Commissioned by - http://www.mollyheadycarroll.com Theme - Matt Proft End song - POWER FAILURE - https://soundcloud.com/powerfailure Video - http://www.twitter.com/digitalmuppet

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He's like, his arms are vibrating at such a frequency they may disappear into another dimension. You can say it entirely. You can say it. Christ-like. Very cray. Yes, that was the exact definition that came to my mind. Alex is Christ-like. You can say it. Welcome to the Chilluminati Podcast, everybody. As always, I'm one of your hosts, Mike Martin joined by my other two co-hosts, Alex Fasciani and Jesse Cox.

Hello. Hello. It's an easy day for me. I don't got to do much, you know? No. We're joining the jumping in the show. And as always, it is now time for Alex to take control of the Chilluminati Podcast with this Christ-like demeanor and guide us into everlasting love and hope. And you know what Christ was?

And you know what Christ was? He was a giver. He was charitable. And he liked to take care of artists that he liked by supporting them. Patronizing them. Oh my God. Okay. Which is my fun way of reminding you that Chilluminati is funded by Patreon, a great place that you can go to support us for this free show that we do for you.

You can head to patreon.com slash chilluminati pod and we will be thankful if you do that. You can also get a sweet monthly poster, exclusive mini episodes, access to the Discord, behind the scenes notes, all kinds of good stuff. You also connected us directly to Jesus Christ. So, you know, there's really no better compliment than that. That's true. For some, for some, for some, that's true. But I'm going to take this Tylenol right now. Yeah, that's good.

That's good. But you know what? I think, I think as far as like that kind of day, huh? I think for you, I think actually you're going to have a fairly engaging day. I feel like today, you know, you don't want to do these little minis. So, okay, first of all, let me just get this out of the way. I have to just say that Tylenol, in 20 minutes, he's out in the chair. Yeah.

He just pops some volume. He's like, let me know when you're done. No, so here's the deal. I've been really busy, but I've been like working on JFK, but it's like a lot. And so I am like doing a lot of things and reading a bunch of books about the same subject. And it's like kind of like a slog sometimes. And so I don't want to like lose the passion. You know what I mean?

I don't want to lose the fire. So sometimes I just like go deep. Keep my mystery detecting bones fresh by like searching the internet, finding things, seeing if maybe I can get a little Chulminati episode out of there. That's what the last couple have been that I've done. You deep dive and you shlorp out whatever. Yeah, shlorp out whatever I can find. But I always run into the same problem, which is that either the story is like too short

to be a full episode, which is not tight. Or it's like way too disturbing in some way to be a full episode. But you know how Batman, like when he was Bruce Wayne before he was Batman, he was like sitting there in his study and the like window opened. And then the bat came in and he like realized like, I need to be Batman. Right. So no one knows that version. Everyone only knows we fell into the hole and a bat came and talked to him.

Yeah. No talk in the Batman mythology. I just want to be real. False. Okay. All right. You know what? Fair enough.

The bat. That's what I ask you to do all the time. Bruce Wayne. No. The bat does not know Bruce by name. Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne. Bruce Wayne.

You're the Batman. I heard your parents are dead. You must give up your life to fight crime in Gotham City. My name is in the Batboy. Yeah. Yeah. That's what happened. When are we going to do the Batboy episode, by the way?

We should do a weekly world news episode. Like the best of weekly world news. Hell yeah. That'd be amazing. But anyway, I got an idea just like Bruce Wayne got the idea to be Batman. And that idea is to do a scary version of Chiluminati today. That is, I think good because it addresses both problems. It's going to be.

So far this is terrifying. It's going to be four short mysteries that are all a little creepier than or upsetting or adults in a way that I feel like is a little bit skirting the boundaries of the stuff that we normally cover on this show. You know what I mean? I don't want to, you know, I don't want to, I don't want to oversell it, but I'm calling it dark corners. That's the, that's the theme for today.

I thought it could be a fun mix up. Okay. Dark corners is a 1976 daytime drama. That was one of our writers. Dark corners. I'm sorry. That was false. No, but so I do, but I'm going to get right into it.

But before I start, as usual with these like weird internet ones that I do, it's easy to spoil the stories of these things by just like quickly Googling the phrases. So for the sake of my storytelling and the thought that I put into this listener out there, please just wait till the end to look it up. I know he's saying listener, but what he's really saying is Jesse Maffis. Yeah. Yeah. I keep your fingers away from the keyboard.

I know what he's saying. It's too interesting. It's too interesting. And then you want to know, but I'm about to tell you. All right. All right. All right. First one is called Chip Chan.

Okay. So chimp. Chan. Chip. Chan. Potato chip. Potato. Like microchip.

So I know, I know that when people hear it's going to be an Alex episode, they know it's going to be weird. It's probably going to be some weird internet thing, but this is actually something that I have been like fairly hesitant to talk about and you will understand why very soon. This is the story of a woman that most of the internet knows as Chip Chan. I don't think the average person knows her identity. Some people claim to know her identity. But what I know is that she prefers to be referred to as Jane rather than Chip Chan and

that she lives in South Korea where she was discovered via a 4chan open source live stream thread in 2008. Though later on when we, after people talk to her, she says that she has been streaming since at least 2006. Okay. So what these 4chan like threads are about are people would just like trawl these like open source live streams and just post weird things that they found as they travel, right? And the original person who found Chip Chan was posting because they found footage of a

woman laying in her house in this like weird position, just kind of like out in the corner and thought like, oh shit, like this girl might be dead. But as people started like putting eyes on this and like looking at it, they started to realize like something way different was going on. And so she seemed to be streaming like as close to as constantly as she could pretty much all the time. She'd sleep for hours at a time, sometimes even in the middle of the day, she was constantly waking up and falling asleep in like positions that when you look at her, you're like, she's

going to feel like shit tomorrow. Like just laying in like really awkward positions, sleeping for hours in the middle of the day. And then weirdest of all, all around her apartment, which was very like dirty and kind of like messy, she had all these weird signs hung around that were visible on camera. And when people began translating those signs, they started to get some extremely weird messages like don't get tricked, don't get fooled, or I can't be stopped. Okay. So according to Jane, she is the daughter of wealthy parents.

So she doesn't have to work or hold down any sort of job. She just sort of like coasts on this trust fund or whatever it is. And however, she is currently being held captive against her will by a corrupt police officer called P who is extorting her for her money and has injected a mind control weapon microchip under or in her brain via her left eyebrow and more famously in her foot quote at a cartilage bone three centimeters off the ankle bone. And that's her like logo that you see all the time, which is like a picture of her foot with like a circle around where she thinks the chip is.

And it says mind control weapon. That's like her like logo. And apparently the weapon is called a verichip, which is a real thing. And it controls her sleep patterns and moods according to her. And if you look up what a verichip actually is, you will find that it is an it's an injectable identification chip about the size of a grain of rice that is inserted under the skin and provides biometric verification through RFID technology the same way you might track like microchip kind of like your microchip like a pet, like exactly like a lost pet.

Like you just kind of have to be near it to pick up the tag. You know what I mean? Gotcha. And she has cameras not just in one place, but all over her house. So you can see like a lot of different angles, you know, depending on what she feels like streaming, it's really messy. Like she looks like she's camping in her own house kind of vibes, you know, like when, you know, you find one of those houses that's got like eight, 17 year olds living in it

and they just all have like fucking mattresses and streamer house. Yeah, exactly. It looks like shit. It looks like shit in there. And she she has lots of rashes all the time and weird wounds like right now she has this like weird feet cuts that are really weird. And she says she can't ever leave the house because apparently P the cop who she has posted like a blurry picture of can make her fall unconscious at will through the device in

her ankle, though she has changed departments a few times. Okay. So according according to Jane herself, she's been living this way since at least 1999. And has continued doing this like she she like streamed this year in 2020 she is streamed. So like from 2006, according to her to 2020, she's been streaming pretty regularly, but currently she doesn't stream. She says P Hector computer. And so she still blogs every day, which is where I saw these like weird pictures of her

fucked up feet. Actually bloody shoes. I'm being more clear. But there are several theories about what she's been up to for the past 12 to 14 years. Now, some people think it's some kind of performing arts like performance art project and that she's trying to make some sort of statement about privacy in modern society or that she's trying to like, it's like some type of outsider art that we can't really comprehend where she's trying to like tell some sort of narrative.

But obviously, like most people's first thought upon coming upon this is to be like, this is real. We need to help her. Let's try and get in touch with her. Let's try and get the cops there like because, you know, you see scenes of her doing things like building barricades in front of the door and you start to just feel like what the fuck is going on. My immediate reaction.

So I know of Chip Chan very, very vaguely like I know of her existence. I remember discovering. I feel like that's how most people know of Chip Chan. Exactly. So my reaction is just like untreated mental illness is where my mind goes. Yeah. So we'll continue. Obviously you're going to continue, but just kind of throwing out like, OK, I'm familiar

with her. So like in the past, she's done her share of like interacting with the stream, answering emails, but nothing that she ever says, like, even when you translate, it seems super lucid. You know what I mean? It doesn't seem like she's like on the level all the time. But by this time, people have called the cops. People have tried to show up at her house, but the Korean authorities always react the same way, which is that they acknowledge that they are aware of her.

They say that she's just a harmless eccentric and that she should be left alone. Now, on the one hand, if she's being held captive by the police, you know, and it's like a corrupt situation with the police, of course, that's what the police would say. Right. So like that's the conspiracy. Yeah. Of course. Easiest one to jump to.

Yeah. But, you know, as you may have noticed, I have sort of done my best not to give you guys and like quite enough info out there in the internet world to like easily search. Like you can find this stuff if you want. I'm not going to direct you to where her stream is or anything like that. But I think I think that's because I think that's because I think the most likely explanation is exactly what you said, which is that she probably has some type of schizophrenia of the paranoia type.

And I think like more specifically, you know, and a lot of people have said this online is that she she seems to experience a clear set of conditions for something called persecutory delusions, which is where you believe that you are being persecuted despite lack of evidence, that they feel like harm is like currently like actually as you're talking to them being inflicted upon them, that it's going to happen very soon that the person who's trying to persecute them has the intention of harming them. And this is like almost like a textbook version of that, except for the like sort of weird thing that she loves to stream all the time.

But the thing about mental health in South Korea is that it carries like a very hefty social stigma and Korea has really high suicide rates, has really high rates of hospitalization for the mentally ill. But in general, even more so than here, you know, in America, people are generally encouraged by their own societal norms to like not seek treatment. Right. So it's for that reason that while I think Chip Chan, Jane, this person is very interesting, I think anybody who's listening here and who's finding out about her just now from

us, like, you know, and you're feeling like you need to go save her or talk to her. I think you should let her be, respect the fact that she probably has a mental illness. Don't, you know, take it upon yourself to treat this person or try and get them help. You don't know what you're doing, you know, look into this internet story, but do it from a distance, you know, watch a pre-recorded video, you know, don't don't say things to her. Don't write her emails, even if you figure it out, because I really am trying to do the opposite of encouraging that I really don't want you to talk to her.

We're definitely not going to be the ones that help her. And, you know, that's like somebody like an expert needs to do that. And you don't want to do anything, you know, as sad as it is, you don't want to do anything that's going to encourage her delusions or make them seem any more real. And that is Jane. Pretty fucking insane, right? That story is nuts. And the fact that it's still happening now is this crazy, because again, it's something

I was familiarized with years ago and just like left in the dirt and we know behind us, like, yeah, this is strange. There's so many videos. There's so many videos. There's so many different blogs. There's so many different places that she's streamed. And it's always just the same kind of like weird phrases, these weird things. And I really hope that she's fine.

You know, I really hope that she's just like, you know, in no harm. Like, yeah. So like, you know, back, no, no medicinal education here whatsoever. And part of me wonders, like, if the stream thing is plays into her delusions of like, well, if I'm being watched all the time, I'm safe, you know, then then I'm safe. Yeah, exactly. People have eyes on me and I can, you know, that apparently there's some people who've said that there's these two elderly people that come and look after her from time to

time. They check in. But I don't I haven't seen any video of these people or anything like that. So I don't know. And I feel like, you know, going in and reading about that, like there's a chip chan wiki, there's all these things like and I saw the Internet, of course, the Internet documents every story is very different. It's not super clear. I like a lot of it is in Korean that she writes.

So it's like really hard to get a straight answer without knowing Korean really well. And, you know, it's not something that like people are like really like all about getting too into, but it's a fucking it's a fucking dark little corner of the Internet. You know, is a lot of weird, fucked up little corners of the Internet corners, right? Hashtag. What is what is we're just a hashtag dark corners? Hashtag new series flash a flashlight in those corners, man.

We just got to briefly take a peek. Dude, it's ironic that you said flash a flashlight based on one of the stories that we're going to talk about in a minute. But first, I've got a story here that it was OK. This story, this story was deleted from Reddit. It was something that I remembered reading on Reddit and that I went back for this podcast to look for and I found somebody else who had the same thing with or they were like, where the fuck is this story and somebody actually had the

window still open on their computer and was able to copy paste this story. And I thought this is just like one of the most unbelievable stories, most unique stories I've ever seen on the Internet. I have the username for this person, but because the post was deleted and all the comments were deleted, I'm not going to share that part. So I'm just going to quickly select this and I'm going to send this to you, Mathis, and this will be your all right, little what subreddit was this on? Is that part of the spoilers?

It was it was on like ask Reddit or something. It was like, what's the creepiest thing that's ever happened to you kind of thing? Where are we sending this on? Yeah, I'm just going to send it right in on Zoom. Did that not work? I see nothing yet. Let's just try that. You sent it to group chat.

Trying to drop it in the group chat. I'm just going to I'm just going to go ahead and drop it in your Twitter. Sorry. Yeah, it's fine. Sorry, guys. It's too, it's too big. It's do you have a discord? Do you have discord open? Yeah, I do.

But you have me and discord. OK, sorry, guys. It's fine. Edit it out if we remember. If we remember, edit it out. OK. Yeah, I sent you a message. There we go.

OK. There you go. OK, now I click on this and then I open it and then I read it. All right. Oh, it's a notepad. So this story is called Jimmy C. Jimmy C. OK. One of the scariest stories like this story is called Happy Smile.

Get ready to happy smile, friendly son in the midday. All right, here we go. Jimmy C. This has haunted me for a long time. I was about 19 or 20 at the time and I was living in Savannah, Georgia. I drank a lot. He had a crappy, fake ID. What are you laughing at already, Jesse?

When you start your scary story with I drank a lot. I'm already like, all right, OK, here we go. Just. Jesse, wait. Just you wait, Jesse. I drank a lot and had a had a crappy, fake ID. I worked this terrible job as a grunt laborer, the kind where you go to those temp labor agencies

like able body or labor finders. I'd show up at 4 a.m. Work until 5 p.m. And drink myself to sleep after only taking home about 60 bucks for the day. I was supposed to go into work this particular morning, but I decided to skip. It's a late labor agency. They'll just find somebody else.

I call my girlfriend and tell her I want to go to the beach. I be beach. I guess is the name of the beer. I had already started drinking. Wow. He had already. Wait, he was supposed to go into work. He woke up, said no, called the girlfriend,

but he'd already been drinking at that point. And he's 19 years old. Oh, what a dude has a rough morning. Yes. So she comes over. We hop in my big, ugly van, pack up some rods and head to the beach. I decided to have a drink across them across the beach at this little bar. This is where the story gets interesting.

I was on my 90th beer shortly after drinking my 90th drink. What? No, no, that's me. I mean, not not shortly after ordering my drink. I get this really weird feeling. I became hyper aware of my surroundings. The door, the door opens and I see this guy walk in out of my peripheral vision. There was a seat between me and my girlfriend, but the bar was empty at like 9 a.m.

And he could have sat anywhere else, yet he chooses to sit right between her and I. Then he starts doing this thing with his fingers. The bar top was reflective. He takes his fingers like two little legs and just starts walking with them, skating with them on top of the counter. This isn't something out of the ordinary, but I did. But I took notice because when I was in school, I did it all the time. I pretended I had rollerblades on my fingers and I and that I was skating around my desk.

I hated school and was always distracting myself. So I became kind of mesmerized for some reason. That's when he looks at me and in this really and in this and in this really thick kind of Germanic or Nordic accent, he says, I don't know what a Germanic or Nordic accent says. So I'm not even going to say what are you doing right? OK, I noticed you're a man who pays attention to detail. I'm also a man who pays attention to detail.

Now, before I continue, I have to describe this guy. He was born from the movie Bore. He had this short. He had this short, spiky hair that was bleached at the tips kind of like a late 90s style. He had really expensive clothes on like a nice Prada leather jacket, nice designer jeans, really nice boots. He seemed like a kind of gay guy with awesome fashion sense and really distinctive taste. I always remember this because I think to myself some weird, a homeless, crazy guy couldn't have afforded those clothes.

Anyway, the other thing that stuck out was his eyes. They were piercing gray. It reminded me of like a husky's eyes, but his pupils just stayed this disturbing pinpoint size. They were just extremely small, which caused his look to be kind of terrifying. His teeth were normal, right? But not at the same time. I don't know how to explain it.

They were sharper than they should be, as if they were filed slightly. His hands were normal, but his fingernails were slightly long and pointed as if he deliberately did it. My buddy used to do that, so it would happen. He loved it. You'd like claws. He kept licking his teeth, too, as if he were salivating. The thing about this guy is that when you look at him, everything seems normal, but off at the same time.

So you're questioning if you're crazy for thinking this. Again, I want to remind you, man, it's two is like 1 p.m. And you've had like a bunch of drinks already. So that just might be the feeling of the alcohol. This guy does seem creepy, though. This guy then begins to start to start talking about the relationship between me and my girlfriend, but really strangely, he's talking about how beautiful she is and how I should pay more attention to her.

I was kind of a dick to her. Shortly after he began talking like this, I had this almost knowing feeling come over me like I knew this guy was not human. I look at my girlfriend and say, you need to leave. She just kind of looks at me like she knows to and without a word of protest, she gets up quietly and leaves. Later, I learned that she went next door to get a coffee. That's when this guy literally says to me with the utmost confidence,

you were supposed to go fishing today. He points at the beach across the street. If you had, I would have drowned you in that ocean. And I shit you not. He fucking hissed. Again, for some reason, this overwhelming calm had come over me. I just ask, who are you? And he answers back with this crazy guttural language like ackbock, but it was really long.

It sounded Arabic or Hebrew or something. I just for some reason without skipping a beat and I have no idea why I was so calm to this day asked, say it in a way that I can understand. He says in return, you can call me Jimmy C. I jumped off the San Francisco Bridge years ago and we've been watching you. From there on out, he never referred to himself as me or I, but only we. The conversation became something very strange after this. He was saying things like, we see you taking a bath.

We wish we too could feel the warmth of the water and the comfort of the steam. And other strange stuff. He kept buying me drinks to specifically whiskey sours. It was like he had an endless supply of money. He smoked Marlboro ultra light cigarettes. After I don't know how long because I lost sense of time, kind of. I told him, I'm going to leave. I walk next door and get my girlfriend.

She's stone silent. We start driving home. Don't say a word. Then I just ask, do you know what that was? And she just says, that was a demon. This is so sweet. Thanks, Nancy. Appreciate the answer. This girl had parents that were scientists.

She was really analytical. This week, her parents were scientists. She was analytical. She was basically a woman. I want to put my hand on this man's shoulder and be like, my man's, I hate to tell you that doesn't mean anything. They were also completely non religious. And that was the first thing she said out of her mouth.

Now, I didn't say this part before, because to me, this is the most important aspect of the story. So I'll say it now, because it's what happened after this. That screwed me up for fucking years. Yeah, here I'm waiting, dude. The last thing Jimmy C. The guy said to me before I left was, quote, look at my car, unquote. I look outside and see one of those newer volks wagon beetles.

It was white. He asks, what does a license plate say? I look at the plate and it literally says, no, fierce. That's not what I expected. Also, how does it say fierce? That's too many letters, too many six. Yeah, is it? Yeah, five. It's actually five. F I E R C.

F I E R does six. I'm dumb. Accounting's hard. Six, five. He looks me dead in the eyes and then says, the next time you see me, I'll be driving a black Mercedes and the license plate will say utopia. Stupid, right? That night, I was still calm. I don't know why I felt like the guy on office space after his hypnotherapist died right in front of him and he was weirdly Zen.

He could have just said he felt weirdly Zen. Yeah, I mean, I appreciate the the creativity of the storytelling. I know what it visually looks like. Yeah, I know what he's talking about. Yeah. But my girlfriend started having terrible nightmares of this guy's head just staring at her in her dreams. Weeks went by and that's when the encounter started affecting me. I found myself becoming paranoid about that black fucking Mercedes.

Every black car I saw, I checked if it was a Mercedes. If it was, I immediately looked at the license plate. I started doing it when I would watch TV or movies as well. I couldn't stop. Now I'm going to fast forward a bit. About 10 years go by. I'm now 29. So this is just recently.

It was not that recent. Yeah. Yeah, not anymore. So maybe he's like 35 now. And in silence, when I'm alone, when I'm drinking, I often think about this encounter. Dude loves drinking. Yeah. I still look at black Mercedes every time they pass, but I'm not so much anxious about it anymore.

Just curious. And I remember that my girlfriend at the time always kept a journal. By now, I'm pretty sure that I'm insane. Maybe I was drunk. Yeah, well, maybe. Maybe I'm not remembering any of this correctly. But after years of trying to find articles of a Jimmy C. That committed suicide off the France in San Francisco Bridge,

I looking at black cars and so on. I feel like I'd grown out of it. Yet still, I had to know. So last year, I tracked down my ex-girlfriend. We ended on bad terms. I found out she's a schoolteacher in Wisconsin. Has a has a married woman as a married woman. Has married a woman.

Has married a woman. Sorry. Has married a woman and is actually trying to have a child. I figure she's not going to talk to me, but I sent her a Facebook message anyway, and I asked her if she can find the journal from that day because I have to know if the events line up with mine. Sure enough, she had it. And it contained even more detail than what I remembered

because she had literally written it at the coffee shop next door right after it happened. And here's what she sent me, quote, notes on what happened at Tybee Island, Georgia on the first Tuesday in December 2005. Drove there during the day in the sunshine was getting me down. Kept thinking about how earlier I had gone to. I put your name in there just to keep it. OK, oh, yeah, I was like, are you trolling me?

OK, try that again. Drove drove there during the day and the sunshine was getting me down. Kept thinking about how earlier I had gone to Mathis's house after waking up there and he woke up early, took a shower, came back, woke me up, acted very sweet. Then I went home, took a shower, came back to go with him to Tybee, and he'd gotten drunk already and was teasing me, being sort of. I love I love the two sides of this story, by the way.

Like, I like it's we're about to hear basically the same story again. But like the the the point of view of her much, so it's so good. I even threatened to go home once, but I stayed feeling that I really should go to Tybee with him. But I was excited to show Tybee to Mathis during the stay during the day since I knew knew it well and he'd never seen it. He talked about how it all reminded him of his childhood as we drove through the small the salt marches and over the bridge,

the sun, the palm trees. I'd grown up in a fall. Also, this girl is like Ernest Hemingway question mark. Like, I don't know what she's like so well. But I was excited to show Tybee to Mathis during the days. Oh, wait, we read it apart. Got to Tybee and he wanted to get a couple of beers, even though we had rum in the trunk.

Well, really, the back of the van. The first bar we went to carded him. And so we left, remarking that everyone in the place had given a strange looks as soon as we walked in, went over to Fanny's a couple doors down all in the area of the beach by the pier. I decided I didn't want beer after all and told the woman I'd just like a glass of water.

He had a PBR only cost a buck. Notice the VWB to VWB to white parked outside when I came in, but did not see Jimmy enter. At this point, out of man sitting one stool down from me, drumming for his finger strangely on the stainless steel bar, more like dancing with his nails stretching their his long fingers thought immediately that was that he was gay. He and I watched and talked and whispers about it

for a few more minutes before he, the stranger spoke. He first talked about how I had noticed him dancing with his nails, the words he used, and then looked at his nails surprised and said they look like shit. I laughed, getting a weird feeling for about the guy. He then spoke about how it's important to notice details and he likes it when people pay attention, that he pays attention to everything that he knows that I do too.

His eyes are open, some word I can't decipher. Blue gray, he has blonde hair and a narrow pointed nose. The word he can't decipher, I believe, is the author trying to transcribe the thing and he doesn't he can't understand what she wrote. He has blonde hair and narrow pointed nose above pale lips that covered crooked teeth, not very white, almost like fangs. His teeth are all I can look at until I look him in the eye, something I normally won't do until I know a person at least a little.

And he seems to evade me. He asked if I love Mathis, doesn't use his name or mine. And without hesitation, I nod and say, yes, he asked him, do you love her? And he looks uncomfortable, laughs a little bit and said, yeah, I guess so. Damn, this guy, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I didn't know where I was at the time, man. Damn, I was exploring alcohol for the first time. You were really exploring it. Yeah, I was.

I had to try everything. So, you know, she was there for the ride. And the guy says that I'm beautiful, that if he won't love me unconditionally as I do him, someone else will. He touches my hair and says that I am a creature of God. He then tells us that he walked three miles up and down the beach and it sucked, said some things about God's green earth, told a story about a scorpion, then asked a frog for a ride across the river

and then stung the frog, told the frog. It was his nature, television dialogue. Yeah, the whole thing. And then they both enjoyed their last minutes of life because they would they both would then die. He told Mathis he knew him and kept trying to get him. And kept trying to get to him through me. He'd say, I'm not hitting on your girl,

but continually told me I was beautiful. He tried to piss Mathis off, kept I kept saying that he knew him, said, said he is in his room at night. He's what crawls on Mathis's back. That's weird. Told Mathis his glasses, the aviator sunglasses that I gave him were cheap that my glasses were perfect because I see through them rather than hide behind them. Then he said that I was perfection and I was one step away from becoming myself.

Earlier, he talked about fashion, thought my glasses might be Armani, said Prada was his favorite person. What I noticed when I when I noticed that his orange leather jacket had a red rectangle of fabric on the left breast that said Prada. He said to Mathis, Mathis, that he knew who he was, to which Mathis replied that he knew who he was. That's the stranger. OK, that's weird.

The stranger left to go to his car to get money for more drinks. He'd offered to buy us all a shot of tequila and already thought already bought Mathis a beer as he walked out. He pointed to the license plate. His car was the white beetle outside. The laced the license plate read fierce while he was gone. Mathis asked me if I knew who the man was. I nodded saying I had an idea.

Yeah, but you think you're crazy every time you think it, don't you? I was I was thinking the man was the devil or something close. Then I wrote that I miss some things. Here they are. When asked where he was, he didn't answer or where he was from. He didn't answer. We thought he could have been from Tybee, but he said he didn't live there. Asked him where he lived, and he just started talking about his other car.

A Mercedes Benz with the plate that said Utopia. Asked if he lived in his car. He said, no, Utopia's doors are closed to me. OK, Mathis asked him where he learned all all he was talking about. He said he could speak five languages, English being the most important because it is trained and often spoke a few sentences in a language that I could not recognize. And he said he had lived in San Francisco where he jumped off a bridge and died.

Classic weighted and your life. This is the point where I told where I told her this is now. That's the end of her. Yeah. Yeah. Now we're back to the perspective of the original story. So yeah, this is the point where I told her to leave. That's when he said he would have drowned me in the ocean, started referring to himself as we and finally told me that the next time

I would see him, it would be in that black Mercedes. When I read that, she when I read what she had written, literally that day, I knew that I wasn't imagining the details wrong, that this actually happened. This is probably the single most frustrating and scary thing that has ever happened to me. I want to imagine it's just some normal crazy guy. But unless you saw it and felt it and heard him talk about all the little

details of what you were supposed to do that day when you only knew it, you can't just understand the impact of it. It's been 10 years and my only solace really is that my ex-girlfriend was there to corroborate that communication where I reached out to her actually caused us to be on good terms again after a decade. It seems to have been something that bothered her just as much as it bothered me. And still, to this day, even though I'm living 10,000 miles away in Southeast Asia, I can't stop looking for that car.

I can't stop thinking about Jimmy C's twisted face. I wonder if he still crawls on my back. And if the fear I feel at night often to where I must drink myself to sleep or find a one night stand just so I don't feel alone is him, them or any of that watching me. OK, so that's so that's the post. Jimmy is his alcoholism major. Jimmy C. OK, Jimmy C is his alcoholism major.

So on the surface, right? This is just like some bullshit creepypasta about some guy who met Satan. Right. Where are you going with this? Yeah, I'm now now that you've got on the surface. Yes. But when we dig down, what is about to happen? These were these changes were made to the article. I'm dropping them in the chat. So if you want to if you want to read those two methods,

I dropped them in the Zoom chat. Let me just read the little editing. OK, so at first at it, somebody sent me a site where I can look up California license plates. I tried this earlier in Georgia. Don't know why I didn't try it in California. License plate utopia is registered to a Mercedes, but it won't say the color. I'm kind of free to say the least. And there's actually a link that leads to a picture that says,

yep, there it is. It's a 2000, a year 2000 Mercedes Benz C Class C 280. Sedan four door engine, 2.8 liters V6. OK, next update. This is the site where you can like this is where you can look it up. And then it says at three, somebody found another more reliable source. Still shows a 2000 Mercedes is having the license plate utopia in California. Yet this one had the VIN number of anybody is good at looking it up.

And there's a VIN number there. Yeah. So there really is a Mercedes driving around that has a license plate utopia. Well, did anyone look up the VIN number? It's right there. I mean, yeah, I mean, you just like you can look it up. But it's, you know, after a while, information on the car is not public knowledge. I mean, the VIN would be like, what was the original color black?

Well, there's I don't even know how to start looking it up. So I know I also dropped in another thing for you guys. That's the Yelp. It's the Yelp thing. And it's it's it's actually the Yelp page for this place, Fanny's in Tybee Beach. Oh, yeah, the bar still visible to this day. Go, sweet. So it's a real place.

You can actually go there. You can actually maybe you can meet Jimmy C for yourself. Your own Jimmy C, dude. No, man, I want everything. I'm never I've already accepted that. I'm never going to see anything. You've already accepted it. And you're so young.

I know. But I, you know, I think I think starting the podcast sealed my fate. Why? You think like you're going to you're like a molder now? Yeah, it's too much. They don't want anybody to know you so well. This whole like, I guess, nothing will ever happen. I don't know, Jesse. I don't want to talk about psychology against the devil. Yes, I'm just saying.

I guess no one will ever pay attention to me. I'll be alone. Just I, you know, I offered Satan my entire soul. I love the idea that Satan is named Jimmy like goes by Jimmy. Jimmy, what up? See, see for sake. I maybe, you know, if any of you have the Rando knots app, go ahead and input, you know, think about Jimmy C.

Yeah. And just think about Rando knots takes you. Dude, I should do that. We talked about Rando knots on here, on the mini-sode, right? We we talked about it on a mini-sode. Yes, not on an actual level. Oh, man, I that is that is some weird shit. It's like taking advantage of your own brains, like willingness to look for things that connect, but it's like so fun to do.

Yeah. Uh, all right. So that's the story of Jimmy C. One of my favorite deleted stories from Reddit that you can find on the Internet's it sound like two drunks met at a bar. Dude, it did sound like Mr. Original Guy didn't know what sober felt like for a while. I don't think that guy was doing great, even in the present day.

You know, if you're listening out there, man, whose story we read, if you're one of those listeners that listens to us, I hope you're doing better. I hope everything's good and I hope Jimmy C. Hasn't been on your back in a while. Shout out to Southeast Asia. I hope it's because you wanted him to be a top. And also, if you are a detective like us, you can go on the Internet and you can find that VIN number and you can look it up and see if you can

find out whether or not that Mercedes is black or not. I would love to know and whether or not that guy also owns a Volkswagen Beetle. I'll be interested. I'll be interested to know. Uh, all right. So that's we're at the halfway point here. How are you? How are you guys enjoying the dark corner so far? I mean, it's dark and twisted.

Yeah, it is so fucked up, right? So I mean, look, the first story, I had nothing to say because you guys already debunked it for me. And the second story was debunked in the first two minutes and was like, I'm a heavy alcoholic. I'm like, you are a unreliable narrator, sir. Everything you're saying, it could be nonsense. That's true.

I mean, what would be the crazy thing is if the VIN number came up and it was registered to him somehow, that would be the best. Yeah, that would actually be the best ending. But I would love I would love somebody more dedicated than I did to dig deeper into that. Honestly, my favorite line in that whole story is just like, do you live in your car? No, the doors of utopia. No, that is some like sweary shit right there. That's like that's like American God's vibes.

Yeah. All right. So this next one is definitely a mystery and a very disturbing mystery. But it's the kind of thing that I typically avoid on the show because it's like how certain episodes of Black Mirror like get like a little bit too real, you know. Oh, I watched. I'm sure you've all watched so much Black Mirror, but just off topic, I watched two episodes of Black Mirror ever.

And I was like, I can't. My emotions can't handle. It's a fucking great show. But yeah, sometimes you just get to take a break because it opens up opens up doorways to parts of the real world that you just don't want to think about. You know, and that episode that got me was to be able to rewind like your memory and rewatch your memory. That that episode, I was like, oh, fuck, I know. If I get that, I'd just relive the worst shit over and over.

That Bryce Dallas Howard one always gets me where she's like got a score when everybody rates each other and it's like it affects your like standing China. Now, don't they have like a social score system in China now? I'm sure they do. I have no idea. I'd be the old lady. I'd be the old lady in the truck who's like, look, that's all bullshit. You're a dummy. I mean, that's like everybody.

But in that world, it's not. Yeah, you have to like live in our truck. But yeah, OK, so this one, this one is kind of like that type of thing. The reason this one's in dark corners is not because it's like a fringe mystery. This is like this definitely happened. But it's what it implies. What it implicates. That's really scary. This is the Metcalfe sniper attack.

Here we go at 1258 a.m. on April 16th, 2013, AT&T fiber optic telecommunications cables were cut not far from US Route 101 just outside of South San Jose, California. OK, I said around 1 a.m. at 1 0 7 a.m. Certain customers of a local internet provider called Level 3 communications experienced a loss of service and cables in their vault near the Metcalfe substation were also discovered to have been cut.

So no phones, no internet at this at this in this little small area. At 1 31 a.m. a surveillance camera pointed along a chain link fence at the substation perimeter recorded a streak of light that was eventually determined by the Santa Clara County Sheriff's Office to be a beam from somebody making a signal by waving a flashlight. And that makes a lot of sense because whatever it was, it was immediately followed by muzzle flash from several rifles

and sparks from bullets hitting the fence. At 1 37 a.m. Pacific Gas and Electric. That's PG and received an alarm from motion sensors at the substation, likely from bullets grazing the fence. At 1 41 a.m. at the Santa Clara County Sheriff's Department received a 911 call from an engineer at a nearby power plant that shit that shit. What am I my notes?

No, oh, that still had phone service, except for some reason I wrote the word shit this guys. This guy was at another power plant nearby, still had their phones, and he heard gunfire at 1 45 a.m. The first the first bank of transformers at the substation riddled with bullet holes, having leaked 52,000 gallons of oil overheated. Just like, you know, 15 minutes after this started, this thing overheated.

This caused the Pacific Gas and Electric Control Station 90 miles to the north to receive an equipment failure alarm. At 1 50 a.m. There was a repeat of the apparent flashlight signal that was caught on film and immediately after the attack ended. So I think that it was the signal, actually. Yeah, that seems like someone, you know, triggered a signal to kill. Later, yeah.

Later, when they investigated the site, they found 100 expended casings. Jesus Christ. So that was at 1 50 a.m. One minute. This is 2013. Yeah, one minute later at 1 51 a.m. is when law enforcement finally arrived one minute later. By then, everything was quiet. They couldn't get past the locked fence

and they couldn't see any reason to stick around. So they left and nobody else saw anything till 3 15 when like a like a service guy from the fucking power company showed up. And here is a video of the of the security. I'm so excited. Oh, yeah. You might have to like check in the comments or something. People will tell you the times where you can.

It's in the day. You can you can see in the description. They'll tell you where you'll you can you can scroll to see the little bullets and stuff hitting. So this is where we're looking on here. This attack. What? Sorry. Oh, yeah. Wow.

207. Oh, I see them on the ground. What the hell? Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Boom, boom, boom, boom. This was dead ass like real bullets shooting at this shit. Like that's the that's the fucking video footage of it. This attack left 17 transformers with enough damage that it required over 15 million dollars worth of repairs

and to avert a full blackout of the area, which, you know, in NorCal, that's a lot of like the data centers and all that type of shit. Energy had to actually be rerouted from other plants in Silicon Valley to like not have a huge blackout on their hands. So as a result, a lot of the bigger customers, like the big, huge companies and stuff didn't even notice that anything happened, even though in the immediate area, there were some neighborhoods that didn't have power for a little bit.

Now, the reason that this is so scary, right, is that military experts said that this attack looked like a, quote, professional job. No fingerprints were found on any of the shells. And even though there's a housing development, less than 500 feet away from the substation, none of those residents reported hearing 100 rounds being fired. The silencers, maybe.

Or along that other day to hear them. So who knows? OK, in fact, this one dude, John Wellinghoff, who used to be the chairman of the Federal Energy Regulatory Commission, called it, quote, the most significant incident of domestic terrorism involving the grid that has ever occurred. And that's bad, because I think most people in America don't realize how vulnerable our electric grid is.

Sure. The Internet, the Internet itself is like five small areas and the whole of the Internet goes down. It's very vulnerable stuff. And Henry Waxman, who is this dude from the United States House Committee on Energy and Commerce, was quoted as saying that the attack was, quote, an unprecedented and sophisticated attack on an electrical grid substation with military style weapons. Communications were disrupted.

The attack inflicted substantial damage. It took weeks to replace the damage parts under slightly different conditions. There could have been serious power outages or worse. Right. So. So what the hell was this? Yeah, that's I'm hoping you have an answer. As of October 2015, the best official lead that we have is that the FBI said they do not think it was a international terrorist group.

And the Department of Homeland Security, before they turned evil, said that it was a insider. Science pointed to it being an insider. That maybe, you know, like a disgruntled employee with somebody there, somebody from the inside called in this attack for some reason. But theories abound in an article in The Atlantic. They questioned why this particular substation was targeted, even though the region alone has 1500 different substations

and suggested that maybe that by hitting that particular substation, the real story is that maybe on that same morning, somewhere else on the same grid, something really crazy went down. Right. Yeah. You know what I mean? Oh, interesting. That's one thing that it could be, right? Like already, you know, these guys went in, they knew how to do this surgically. There probably was only a couple guys involved, two or three guys, probably,

you know, probably, probably three guys at minimum. But like, you know, if they're going to go through all that trouble, maybe this thing wasn't even the main crime, right? Other people point to the fact that as a as a direct result of these attacks, PG and E spent one hundred million dollars over three years to upgrade the security at all the substations, suggesting that maybe that insider that we were talking about a second ago could have called in a hit on his own company in order to force their hand

in terms of upgrading security, you know, or why would you want to? Sometimes those big companies, it's hard to be able to exert your will because you're one of many people in charge. And so some people think maybe they tried to manipulate that little, you know, like that little way of doing things. It's very like Batman S almost. Can I ask you a question? Yeah.

You said originally they cut down or they didn't cut down, but they cut off power from the Internet and phone. AT&T and Internet. Yeah. But only in a certain area, just so that the people at the at the station where it was happening could not call in a report. The only people that got like the only report that P.G. and E got during the attack was at that station, 90 miles away, that there was an equipment failure, and that was already

like the things had already overheated. You know what I'm saying? They've already like oil, like hot oil spilled out of them and like burned. Can I mission impossible you and say that this had nothing to do with the electoral grid and everything to do with an assassination of someone in that area? That's like they like that's like exactly what they were saying. The Atlantic was like, maybe, you know, it's it doesn't seem like much,

but like it could be anything. You know, there's probably some other mysterious crime that went down around that time. Maybe like a distraction, the thing to bring it down. Maybe even they got away with it clean. You know, like maybe there's no record of whatever actually happened. Right. Interesting. But finally, it was that crime group hidden in the HTML of an old website.

It's not impossible. But the scariest theory of all is based off the fact that the casings found were for seven point six to Soviet rounds, which are like Soviet Union rounds. And that theory suggests that possibly Russia or China or some other rival of the United States is probing our grid for week. This is that I was going to say, I if it is a foreign nation, it feels like a test attack in a tech region

where if they take out the power, they take out the Internet, you know, like a lot of the servers no communication. It's it's really scary to think about, you know, especially considering that right now our country is, you know, leadership is a bit chaotic. Like nobody knows what the fuck is going on. Covid has us like straight fucked up. Like, you know, there's not a better time. Like, you know, maybe they were planning for a couple of years down the road

when all their plans came to fruition and America's, you know, not, you know, where it, you know, normally is and maybe something bad is going to happen. You know, it would be a great way to do it if you were an enemy. So that's why, you know, normally I don't cover this type of story, but. It's it's real. So get scared, bitch. Yeah, that's neat. I mean, there's no answers, but it's like weird. And I love those things.

Those are the kind of stories I love. It's fucking real. It fucking happened for sure. There's very little info like it seems like a movie. It seems like Ed Harris from The Rock did this like it doesn't make sense. But yeah, Jesse, are you on are you on? Discord right now? Yeah.

So I'm going to send you a little bit. This last thing, this last one is another story from Reddit, which I just found in in in searching for this in searching for this episode. But the reason that I the reason that it qualifies for dark corners for me is that it's a little racier than the stuff that we normally you gave me the racy one. So Jesse, you did. So Jesse, this one's this buds for you, baby.

Get out of town with this. All right, I'm excited yourselves, Internet. I'm ready. Give me the complete honor of reading this, Jesse. Don't forget to mention the title. Vagina Island. Yes. Where do I buy a ticket? By Rouse Dower O3. I believe that's supposed to be an homage to the terrible movie

that was my favorite Canadian film. I think so. What are you talking about movie? Um, hold on, let me see if that's correct. There's a movie that was on Mr. Science Theatre. I had no idea that you were going to like this. That Rouse Dower is just Google zap. It's a mulleted character from the

the movie The Final Sacrifice. Oh, shit. Yeah. It's a Canadian film. It is the the best superhero, just like an overweight Canadian who drinks in like fights like Williams, but he's just a Canadian. Yeah, amazing. One of my favorite it is without a doubt, one of the funniest Mr. Science Theatre's in the mystery science theater. Theatre 3000 wiki for him that he has a BRP stats for Call of Cthulhu.

Yeah, because he's amazing. He's amazing. It's all I'm going to say about that. So Zapparals Dower wrote this, I think. All right. Hmm. Back in 2009, I got a call from my friend Kay. This was two years after we went our separate ways for college. I was 20 at the time.

He began to tell me of this island that we had to go to. We had grown up together and spent much and spent our youth exploring the ins and outs of our small Midwestern town. So I was all for it. He had explained to me that him and some of his friends had found it when they were exploring in the river. Time out. I thought this is going to be like there's a magical island out in the water called vagina.

Here, can I tell you something? I'm going to interject really quickly. When I was in college, my friends and I in the dorms stumbled upon a website and it might still exist. I'm not sure what you would look up now, but there was an island in the middle of the Pacific and this guy like transformed it into like a whore island. Hell, the whole thing was like you would pay a package

to go to this island. It was like all whores. What? And that's what I'm telling you. If we want, that's vagina island. When we were in college, we thought, like, that's the dream, boys. That's the dream. I can't wait to retire. I'm going to take my pay and settle down on a vagina island.

Looking back, it seems like a place where you'd get killed. It seems like a scam for people like idiots who'd be like, of course I want to go there and then they'd be murdered on the island. Wake up with no kidneys. Yeah. Anyway, that's what I thought. This is like it was an island in the ocean. No, this is they were found while exploring in the river. OK.

He had told me all about it and was excited to share his find with another person. I was jealous that I wasn't there when he first discovered it. But I got over it and got pumped to see what he had unearthed. It's been a running joke that I don't know how to swim. So that's why I went to the river. Never did. Probably never will. And the island lay in the middle of the river.

Usually the waters weren't high, so he reassured me that all I had to do was wait behind him and our other friends, our other friend, S, I don't know what our other friends, our other friend, S, would be behind me in case I hit a sinkhole. Sucking out my nervousness of aquatic things. I agreed and we popped off our shirts and sunk into the muddy waters. That looked close from the banks, but it took some time to get to it in the chest high waters.

Seapick, one of their picks. Yeah, scroll down. On here, I can't scroll down in the text. Yeah, this here, I'll put it in here so you can look at it. Mathis. Yeah, I was going to say, I don't get to see shit. Get out of here, get out of here. Hell yeah, this is spoilers. Oh, no, I can't look at this.

This is incredible. Look at this. I can't look at these. These are spoilers. Oh, no. OK. We need to include these pictures with this in the episode. Oh, my God, I have to look away.

As we floated with the current, we made jokes and spent our time bullshitting. None of us had a camera due to the fact that we didn't want to get our phones wet and who really cared? We had already taken pictures from or he had already taken pictures from his last quest. Now is just time to show us. Once we pulled our bodies up onto the land, we took a minute to breathe.

Kay had taken his shoes off to keep them dry and left them with our t-shirts. But it wasn't a place I wanted to be without foot protection. Wild bushes and branches lay strewn about everywhere. That looked fairly untouched. It was in the river next to a state park, but still deep enough down where people wouldn't bother it. We followed Kay's lead into the thistle. And after four or five minutes, we found a clearing towards the center.

In it, lay what we were looking for. There was a giant cement ass of a lady sitting next to a lawn chair. This wasn't just some art project. It was well detailed. There was a marble. There was a marble stuffed in her to resemble a clit. And it was massive. My apologies to families listening right now.

There's a marble stuffed in her and it was a massive clit. We laughed and we laughed and romped around. But I had a strange feeling on the island. It felt weird. My other two friends seemed a little creeped out, but generally they blew it off with me, but like it stuck with me. A few weeks later, I decided that I had to go back to Vagina Island appropriately coined by Kay.

If you are, if you haven't seen the picture, imagine it's just like a woman bent over, but it's only the bottom part of her legs. And then like half a torso. And it's bigger than cement. It's bigger than real. It's it's like five times the size. Yeah, it's like an art project. OK, a few weeks later, I decided that I had to go back to Vagina Island.

My friends had no real interest in going about that time. I was living in my first apartment with a roommate during college and had a few friends back home. My college is only an hour and a half away, so the travel was no big deal. And it was always worth it, you know, to pull into my old driveway. I've been talking to a girl online and decided that her, my friend E, my roommate, Jay, and I would meet for the first time and that I would take her to Vagina Island.

I feel like that's a mistake anyway of Vagina Island. That's like that's how mistakes happen. Yeah, that's an initiation. It was a it had a mystical pool. And those I told didn't seem to believe me. So we agreed. Jay and I picked up E and eventually we met up with a who uneasily got into my car, but we all hit it off quick.

The drive was about 40 minutes, so we stopped to buy basketball shorts so we could so that we could wear them into the river. E had my wetsuit from my trunk that I carried around for a couple of years because I was young and it was humorous. What? And we picked up a waterproof disposable camera. The old carrying around your wetsuit bit. Right, because it's classic humorous between 16 and 23. Very humorous.

I remember when I used to have my wetsuit, so funny. We got ready to go and we made it to the island. I'm unfamiliar with the layout since K led the way the first time. So we wandered around until we were able to find where we needed to be. The first thing they caught my eye was that it was different than last time. Just a few days before the bottom of this lady is still there. See picture three, but this time there was more and it had grown in creepiness in an intense manner.

Next to the bottom half of this full bodied next to the bottom half. Oh, my God, is a full bodied woman laying in a pale white cement staring up in the sky. What I didn't even see his photo. Hold on, we got to go back. Oh, it's so great, dude. We got to go back. We got to go back.

It's like so scary. Oh, hell, so scary looking. You know, she's got some nipple bling. I don't like this. What the hell? OK, this is awful. For those of you who aren't looking at this, do not imagine like some sick porn.

This is like just some creepy, like missed type shit. OK, where was I equal to missed? Let's say. Yeah. Riven also champion on legal edge. So the first thing that caught my eye was that it was different than the last time just a few days before. The bottom of the lady was still there. So you pick three, but this time there's more.

A grown and creepiness in an intense manner. Next, the bottom half is a full body woman laying in a pale white cement staring at the sky. This immediately freaked us all out, especially after I had hyped up the vagina. She looked ghostly, see picture four, five and six. Six, just so you can see the size in comparison to me. She was wearing nothing but rain boots

and her nipples have been painted gold. Get out of town. We each shot glances at each other and then to her. Our first reaction was that it was a real person. So we inched towards it and swivel the rain boot. She cracked and showed wire reinforcements under it. OK, I let out a huge sigh of relief under my breath and we continue to look around.

I still had a weird feeling and joked about setting up a camera to catch this guy, see who it was. We looked at the trees to find a place for our imaginary camera so that we could see more of a vagina hung from a tree just over our shoulders. What is this? Yeah, you can see it scroll down. This person, it was watching them through that vagina.

I have no doubt. All right. Like a portal, a clitoral cam. Yes, like snokes, a little view screen. At this point, we all started to get even freaked out and notice that there are candles by the chair. Oh, this is some dude's creepy jerk off island is what this place is. At the time, I couldn't remember if I was so caught up in the excitement the first time that, you know, I didn't notice they were there.

If they were new, you didn't know. All it took was for one of us to say, let's go. And we all followed suit behind. It wasn't quite fun, carefree romp. I had promised it wasn't long until the next afternoon. I was sitting with E and we decided that we need to go back to China Island. We have to go back, Kate. This is this guy.

I don't know who you are, but I want to be this guy's friend. We have to go back. I'd be like, dude, we got to go back to vagina. I was right. Change. Do you think at the end of this is going to be like all a metaphor? And they're like, like a break up where they kept getting back together on the island. Don't you get it?

There is no vagina island. So they decided to go back and then it says, perfect. Just we decided to go back. Period. Perfect. Period. Someone is intrigued by it as I was. We called up a different girl, S. S was a small girl and wasn't too thrilled about going since. Yeah, since we decided to go at five in the morning

and see if we could catch the guy in the act upon packing up. We grabbed a couple of baseball bats and set out into the dark woods to make it to the river. Once we reached the water, we realized how badly we underestimated the temperature of the water when the rising sun hadn't warmed it up. We felt chills go through our legs and up our chests. S wasn't having it.

We took turns carrying her on our shoulders, keep her dry. That sucks, which did nothing to make the waiting any easier. But at least she was a small girl. So, you know, if we ever go to Vagina Island, you are carrying me on her shoulders as we crossed that frigid river. I'm going to Vagina Island by myself, guys. I hate to break a tree. We made it and pulled out a flashlight and began to go through the thick of it.

I felt an ominous fear grip me, but said nothing. I couldn't be the friend that was too scared. I had grown up being that friend. And this to me was that time where I was like, there's no backing out. Everything that was creepy in the daylight was even worse spotted by the moon, but we had made it. We stopped for a photo op before looking around. See picture eight.

The first thing that caught my attention was the dead stare of the statue in the dirt leaves had fallen on her and we kicked some of them out of the way. She looked different, though. My heart started pounding as I realized that her vagina had been painted gold since we were there yesterday, brother, that rare air. We crept closer and kicked away some leaves. Once moving once moving some, we noticed something that had been covered. Seapix nine, ten, eleven.

There was a cement plaque next to her that read equestrian. Which we made out to be a quest. Oh, it was a misspelled version of equestrian. A lot of this is misspelled. So I'm like just guessing with a lot of things. Yeah. I inched away from the statue and tried to regain my cool composure. Had I smoked the way I do now, a pack may have already been gone.

We all quickly looked around to make sure we weren't alone. There weren't any other sounds, but the two of us gripped our bats tightly, hoping we wouldn't have to save the lone girl trapped on the island five in the morning. We caught the vagina hanging from the tree again and shivers climbed up my spine, each of our spines individually. This time, we noticed it wasn't the only thing strung from the branch. Right over my left shoulder was a collection of feathers that appeared to be some kind of charm and a shotgun shell.

It's his vagina. I know what he has this point. We decided that there was no need to be the bigger man and said it was time to go. First, the vagina, then the chair and candle, then the things in the tree we had seen enough. This is all capped off by the fact that in just a short 20 hours that we've been gone, someone had been working there. I think he and I made up our minds that we no longer, oh, that they were no longer alone on the island.

We started looking for something to take us like a trinket. I guess we're looking for something to take with us for a trinket that we go unnoticed and scrounged around for a few minutes before I noticed a piece of bark next to the chair. On it was a very detailed picture of a vagina. And in black, it said looking for 40 plus year old models. Oh man, are these like weird cast models of some people's actual vaginas? But it was written on a piece of bark.

That was the equestrian vagina. Super exclusive printing. We're all pretty satisfied and filled with fear by this, but took it back across the river. We stomped through carrying S on our shoulders and making a lot of noise. With each splash came the thought that someone was behind me. The current of the water and the darker night made pulling sounds. Oh, made putting sounds. Dark night made putting sounds to a specific spot.

Gotcha, I know what he's trying to say. So like he was hearing things and thought they were okay, gotcha. The cold of the water and struggle of the extra weight made my knees buckle and S and I toppled into the river. We had never been so happy to be back on the other side. A few months went by and he sent me a text message. He'd been walking through a park by his college, about an hour driving distance from the bank of the river.

Holy shit, was all the text message said. It had a picture attached. It was the same guy's handwriting paired with the same statement looking for models. Where E was was deep in the woods of a park known for hiking by college students. It was a college park. I remember my mind jumping when I saw that picture. I had thrown away the tree bark about a week prior due to just that. It was just tree bark.

None of us had gone back for some time. We spent a lot of time sharing our story with people, but never telling them where it was pinpointed. An island in a river by a state park gave a wide variety of options. It was our little secret. By now, it's 2012 and E and I no longer talk. I talked up vagina island with my friend Kai from Colorado. And when she came to visit for a week,

I knew that we had to go back. I knew what we were doing one of the days. I pumped due to the fact that I hadn't been back in years. And so much more could be there. I sped to the park. We broke off the trail towards the river. The summer was very dry last year. And the tips of our shoes didn't even get wet.

The entire river been dried up for the season. It was the first time I'd ever seen the plate river this low. Palete. The platee river. The platee. The platee. The platee. I don't know.

As we walked towards the island, I'm talking it up. The sun is up and I'm a bit braver. And we get into the thick of the woods. It didn't take long to notice that it was all removed. The vagina, the tree decorations, the chair, the candles, all of it. All that was left, all that was left dangled from a tree. I walked up to it and saw it was a bone of some sort. I assumed it was an animals and got closer to see

that a dollar bill had been rolled up tightly and stuffed through it. I pulled the dollar bill out and we left disappointed. Until this day, I've never found out any more about it. Ian and I had spent a lot of time at night discussing, calling the police or park rangers. Have them check it out, but we enjoyed our little secret. I regret not calling and curiosity continues to eat me. The plateau river is not thin and these statues were not small.

We often bounce ideas back and forth of how you get cement out there, or if he did this work on the island by simply hauling out bags of cement across and then adding water upon arrival. All of it will forever remain a mystery. And that may be the most difficult part about it, but also the most beautiful. It's so when you look at this, like looking at put yourself in these moment, in this moment, so weird. Yes, like finding this shit.

It's so fucking weird. I would desperately want a camera up there and just to see who this person is. I can't like describing it does not. You know how they say pictures worth a thousand words? The pictures are better than any store. You can tell they're so creepy. I don't understand. Although this one picture of the three of them and the guy has like a baseball bat

on the butthole of the just classic teen behavior. Yeah. Yep. Well, what a wild corners of the Internet. You have dragged us through. Let's you know, let's come up there. The dark corners. You know what I'm saying?

Dark. Hashtag dark corners. That's the show. Hashtag dark corners. Oh, yeah. And then a marble wedged in there. Imagine that thing was like air loaded. You pull a string and it just can pop out at a marble wedged in there.

We had a marble wedge. Thank you, Alex for dragging us along the dark corners of the Internet. We're only scratching the surface. The Internet is boundless of dark filled with dark corners with weird shit. I'm excited to see what you bring us next. No problem. I only wish that I could sit here and talk to you guys for 15 to 20 more minutes. You know, it's funny you say that because I was just about to say, hey guys,

we should probably go because you know what, Alex, I think we're going to go talk for 15 to 21. Oh my gosh. Are you kidding? How do people get to listen to that? They get an overhead to patreon.com slash shilluminati pod of the $15 tier and above. You get exclusive shilluminati mini soaps. The $20 tier and above gets exclusive digital posters every single month.

You get ad free viewing at the $5 tier and a bunch of other stuff, including discord access, notes, scripts and more. What a deal. Wow. A deal, maybe even. Thank you so much for listening. We're off. You can go find us and tweeted us all over the twitters and whatnot for myself

in that math this game is pretty much everywhere. What about you, Alex? Find me. Where do you find me? Fossiania on Twitter. Check out the Star Wars new canon book club featuring me and Jesse, who agree more than we do with Davis. And yeah, we'll see you guys next time.

And Jesse, what about yourself? Find me on vagina island. Goodbye everybody. Me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night. Enjoying ourselves. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I stepped back inside. And after a few moments, I hear my wife go, holy shit, get out here. So I quickly dash back outside.

She's looking up at the sky in the fall. I look up too. And there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky. It is certainly true that gratitude is the key to abundance. The more grateful we are for the little things in our life, the small blessings, the more those blessings begin to grow into our life to make our lives full and rewarding. I am so grateful here at Azure for our wonderful customers and team

that I am surrounded with every day. And I feel like every day we get more wonderful people involved in Azure. And I am so excited about that as we're moving forward. And I tell you, today, if you're thinking about the small blessings in your life and you can be grateful for those things, greater blessings will happen.