Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 68 - The Chupacabra

Episode Date: September 21, 2020

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Fishmen pulled a body out of the lake. Did they know who it is? Freeform's Cruel Summer is back with a new season and a new mystery. People are gonna start asking questions. We have to get our stories straight. From executive producer Jessica Beall The girls are hiding something.

Nothing stays secret in this town for long. There are two sides. How far do I need to go to prove my loyalty to you? This whole thing was your idea! Do every secret. I need to know what happened. And what if you don't like what you hear? Freeform's Cruel Summer.

New episodes Tuesdays. Dream on Hulu. Hello, hello everybody and welcome back to the Chiluminati podcast Episode 68. I, of course, am one of your hosts, Mike Martin, joining my two buddies and co-host

Alex Bossiana and Jesse Cox. Yo. Yo. It's been a while. How you been? Good. How is everything going in the world right now? A lot of fun. I don't want to.

The world is hell. Gotta say, things are going great. Yeah. Things are excellent. Good, good. All right, cool. Positivity happening here. Super cool.

I missed you. I hope you've all been well. Well, actually, Jesse, I got to hang out with you like a couple of days ago. Yeah, you know I'm all right. I'm all right, baby. You're fine.

You were sleeping with your son's wife. So, it's fine. Whoa. Whoa. I was playing Mario Sunshine. What were you doing? We were playing Crusader Kings. So, I'm playing Crusader Kings 3.

And I got, it was really, it's really funny. My, I got a, like, a letter from my son. And the letter was like, dear father, I know you matched me with my wife, but we are ever so much in love. I love her. She loves me.

Nothing will tear us apart. And then, like, a year later in game time, I got a message from the wife that was like, my lord, come spend a night with me. And I was like, what? And she kept trying to seduce me. And I was like, all right. They just don't give a fucking Crusader Kings?

No, they will if the secret gets out. Yeah. They'll have, like, something against you. But Crusader Kings, the crazy thing is, I played a game once where my children were in, like, a relationship together. And I was like, what? And they were like, it is all way father.

And I was like, oh, all right. Okay. If it's, well, if it's our way, it was crazy. Things happen in that game. Or you're just like, oh, all right. Okay. Then I bet you Matt, this kills people all the time. Well, it got so bad.

It got so bad that it was basically all inbreeding up north at some point. Because it's all cousins. As it happens. As it happens. As it happens. Well, speaking of inbreeding, hey, welcome to the Luminati podcast.

Whoa, what? I'm practicing my segues, guys. We are brothers who are in love with each other. What? That's the secret of the show. What's up? What's up? I did not agree to any of this.

I'm excited for today's episode because we are delving back into the land of the cryptids, boys. We knocked out one major cryptid a while ago in the Mothman. That was kind of our big landmark classic cryptid. I fucking love cryptids. I do too. They're so fun.

They're simultaneously so stupid and so awesome. And today, while we've covered a couple of... Jackalope. Weirdly kind of close in some regard, but not quite. While we've done episodes of like vast coverage of a bunch of different ones, today we're revisiting yet another classic. Today is all about the Chupacabra.

Unreal. All right. Great. I'm excited. I'm excited. Finally. Wait. We've gone through 68 episodes and not done the Chupacabra

once. Two and a half years. The only sin is that it's not episode 69. Oh, what a missed opportunity. I apologize. Well, this was supposed to be episode 67, but hey, you know, we take what we can get. Episode 69 needs to be like energy vampires or something.

Something. That sounds like something Alex needs to do, then. Or like alien abductions for like sexual purposes. Episode 69 energy feels like Alex energy. I have to find the 69 energy. All right. You've got to find the 69 energy, Alex. Okay, not this.

You got it. It's not an energy you find. Ask and you shall receive. You know, that's kind of some 69 energy. Four shadowing. Our Patreon, Alex. That's right. 69 with our creative content.

Please head over to patreon.com slash Chilluminati pod where you can become part of our Chilluminati patron group where you can get all kinds of good free stuff like access to our discord and also episodes with a little bit extra on the backside. You know what I mean? A little bit extra in the back end. You know what I mean? If you're done, you wish, you know, hey, I wish that I had just

just I don't want to fold another episode just just a quickie, you know, just a and it's there and you get to listen to all of the ones that have ever happened, even even ones that aren't even uploaded yet, you know, and it's a it's a wonderful website and that's that's it. And you know what? I wish I could. This was a video podcast because if it was, I'd show you the sick

art that people are getting, which, you know, I don't mind chilling because it's actually that type. What's that? What is the actual official like name of the piece? Oh, for this one is just called Skinwalker Ranch. It's by Melectro Studio. She's awesome. She did the first and the second one and will be a reoccurring

artist. There's so much sicker than you think they are. I bet like somebody who hasn't like if you're if you're out there and you're listening to this and you haven't seen them, I bet you they're sicker than you think they are. How about that? You know, that's a show. I've ever heard one.

Patreon dot com slash shillimanati pod. Yeah. Patreon dot com slash shillimanati pod. Can you believe last last episode with the one with Dodger? People said they missed you chilling. The mysterious Dodger. Yeah. Well, yeah, the mysterious Dodger.

Nobody knows everything to come from that episode. By the way, the mysterious Dodger. The mysterious Dodger. All right. By the way, I just want to point out, I realized afterwards, we never actually truly introduced her. Usually on shows like this, they sit there like, Here's our friend.

Yeah. And shows like this usually they're like, and her bona fides are the reason why she can talk on this is, and the secret is there's no real reason we just want to have her on. Yeah. She doesn't have any credentials. She's our friend, but also her reputation sort of precedes

herself. You know what I mean? She's mysterious. She's like, in my mind, she's much more well known than I am. And so I don't bother. That's saying here. Yeah. I don't bother introducing her.

Yeah. It's not the same anymore. It's a very different. It matters. Just know it was a gnome telling us about gnomes. And that's. Correct. That's really what it is.

Jesse Cox on that. And today I am a chupacabra telling you about chupacabras. Yeah. Here we go. Yeah. So at the top, as always, a big thank you to our researcher, Deanna. She killed it as always with the research for the chupacabra.

Also, the main source we're using for this is a book written by Benjamin Radford called Tracking the Chupacabra, The Vampire Beast in Fact, Fiction and Folklore. Ben is kind of storied history and investigating and writing about all kinds of fun things, including the big scary clown thing that happened back in 2016. Do you remember that? Yes.

Spooky clowns on the street. That was my favorite. I miss. I'm nostalgic for that. Yeah. I'm nostalgic for it. You know, me too. It was pre-election.

You know what I mean? The thing that happened was the big scary clown thing. Is that right? Is that real? It was like September 2016 or something like that. Man. It was just the, just as an omen of the end times. Dude, they were trying to tell us what was going to happen.

All right. Side note, I hope that Chupacabra, The Vampire Beast is the next movie that everybody tweets at us about when it gets announced after we do an episode on this. Yeah. That was a fun six months of La Llorona tweets. That was a good time. I enjoyed it.

Have you heard about that movie? Did you know that movie? Actually, did you hear that La Llorona was coming out? So the Chupacabra, that name directly translates to goat sucker. And stories of encountering this creature are heavily focused in the Americas. So the occasional sighting could be attributed to the Chupacabra.

I've also been seen in Russia and as far as the Philippines. Russia? Yeah, apparently. You Russian? Yeah. I know that is. That's Chupacabra. You've seen Chupacabra?

I've seen Chupacabra. Chupacabra. Thank you. We both sound like Cadabra, the Pokemon. It is, in fact, a vampiric cryptid in nature, meaning it subsists on blood, given the moniker, thanks to the rash of dead livestock whose cause of death was seemingly all the blood having been removed from their bodies.

The first reported sightings of our gentle goat-sucking bloody boy were in Puerto Rico. Listen, I enjoyed writing that sentence a lot, OK? It just flew from the fingertips. Yeah. Started in Puerto Rico, but soon spread to Mexico, Chile, Brazil, and the US, with over 2,000 sightings having been recorded since 1995.

But of course, with so many sightings, countless descriptions of the creature poured forth, and unsurprisingly, they vary wildly. Now, you could take this as an imagination going wild with whatever it is these people encountered, filling the holes to make sense of whatever it was they saw in the darkness. And I will. Or we could be dealing with not one singular creature,

but a whole host of different ones. Or it's more than just a single cryptid, and we've actually, instead of dealing with a species, we're dealing with separate cryptids entirely. You think, like, is chupacabra is, like, a unique creature? It could be. Because we'll give you some descriptions here. Because, like I said, the descriptions are really,

really varied. So Hayden Blackman, author of The Field Guide of North American Monsters, described the cryptid as, quote... I love that. I love the fact that that's a book. That's a very popular book is what that is. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He says, he describes it as, quote,

covered in glassy matted hair and has a feral face. It's long limbs, which end in massive claws, can propel the monster across terrain at amazing speeds. But it is the creature's powerful, bat-like wings that allow it to migrate huge distances. Goat suckers are deceptively small, standing just three to four feet high. Do you think that this is what sex machine turns into

from dust till dawn? Oh, I was like, what are you talking about? You know, Tom Savini with the whip, he like turns into like a fucking rat monster vampire. I thought they were supposed to be vampires. They are, but like, you know, Chupacabra is like a, you know, it's a vampire, and he turns into like...

By the way, spoilers for Dust Till Dawn, for those of you who didn't make it past the first like 25 minutes, and you're like, we're vampires in that movie? Yeah, you fucked up if you didn't wait till the climax of that movie. How you didn't make it past the dance scene, by the way.

Wait for Selma. Oh, that's a great ass scene right there. And the fucking band is so good. Anyway, anyway, let's moving on. I think that's the description. I think that's what it turned into. Sex machine, the guy with the dick gun. Okay.

Oh, Matt, this is one of the movies you've never seen. I've not seen it. Oh, man. It's such a weird movie. The two main characters are George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino. Yeah. Oh, that's very bizarre.

And Harvey Keisel is a priest. And it is. Dude. And Cheech as three people. Okay. Okay, that is very bizarre. Anyway, the next description of the Chupacabra is from... So good.

Such a wild movie. Herbert Gensmer and Ulrich Jillenbrand, authors of Mysteries of the World. They go on to describe the Chupacabra as, quote, five feet tall with a pronounced lower jaw, large red eyes, small nostrils, and a razor thin mouth with curved fangs. It has a rough black coat,

jagged spikes are said to grow on its back, and it looks like a dinosaur. Dinosaur? Jesse, the last line is what did you win? Is that one continuous description? Yes. Like, how does that end with it? It looks like a dinosaur.

Like, what the fuck dinosaur looks like that? I don't know. I don't know. This is in the 90s. And so this is like, I imagine he's thinking Jurassic Park, probably is what's in his mind. It's just such... The distinction between the two is so...

a covered and glassy matted hair, feral face, long limbs, massive claw. It has giant bat wings. And then there's the other version, which is straight up just like, yeah, you know, it's five feet. It's got a tiny-ass mouth. It's got big black coat.

A tiny-ass mouth? I assume a razor thin mouth is its tiny-ass mouth. A razor thin mouth. I mean, aren't all our mouths razor thin when they're closed? Yeah, but I feel like his... My assumption was they all... They either had fangs, like... I always thought of a chupacabra had like a sucker.

You know? A sucker? Like a mosquito? Yeah, like one of those fish. A single instance of chupacabra in this entire episode has a sucker on their chupacabra. Like the fish that clean your fish tank? Yeah.

That's like kind of where you're at with that. Oh, it's not a chupacabra. Like, you know, it was sucking it through his straw. It looks like... You know what it looks like is if you took like a greyhound dog and just like blasted it real quick with a flamethrower? Yeah. That's what a lot of chupacabras look like.

When you see a chupacabra, that's like kind of what it looks like. That is an app description if I've ever heard one. That is great. However, it's important to note, actually, that these creatures of empiric nature are actually extremely common within Latin American folklore. And the quick rise of the chupacabra's popularity is far from surprising once the sightings began.

Hell, the history of blood and rituals dates as far back as to the Aztecs in what is now modern central Mexico where blood sacrifices what happens in the hundreds or thousands. While the Andean people see blood and fat as crucial offerings to the sacred powers along with the sacrifice of slaughtered creatures. Speaking of which, this is a little off topic,

but I have to say this. If you have a chance on Netflix, there's a documentary about... Netflix. On Netflix. There's a documentary about... I guess like drugs in the brain is essentially... Try to know what it's called.

Is it the one with the celebrities? Yes, it's all these celebrities talking about getting high. It's something called something trip or something like that. Something about bad... In it, good trip or something. In it, Sting talks about one time when he was in Mexico and he got really high, I think on shrooms or something,

and he went up into the... No, it may have been... It was something. He went up in the mountains with this tribe and he was really high staring out into the wilderness and he thought he felt rain, but they sacrificed a goat over him. His blood was streaming down and he was like...

I was one with nature. It's the craziest thing I've ever heard. I'm like, only Sting could be the dude who's like, yeah, I went up in the mountains and we climbed this ziggurat and they sacrificed a goat. And I'm like, the what? Case in point, I guess. I feel like another reason that the chupacabra is popular, though,

is that he has like, grey alien with a joint energy. You know what I mean? That joint is his slurper. The joint is his slurper. That filters it. He filters the blood through his... Doctor, look out! The joint is his slurper!

Did he just hear a puffing sound in the background? No, but you know what I mean? Chupacabra, it's fun to say. It rolls off the tongue. You imagine he might have a t-shirt on. He has the energy of Snoopy's cousin. You know what I'm talking about? He's kind of got more in my...

I mean, it's because we did this episode. I know it's coming, but he's got more wily coyote energy to me. Yeah, like dirty, dirty sort of like, I've been burnt physically as well as emotionally. I guess he's gone right now. I guess he's absolutely gone. I can visualize the scene in the movie

where the doctor's approaching the chupacabra because he makes sense of joint. And the guy's like, Doc, the joint is a slurper! And it's like... He's about to smoke it and it like, goes in his face. Chupacabra's handed it to him. He's going to smoke it, but he just gets slipped.

It's like an anglerfish, like fucking decor. It would work! It would work! I'd reach for it. Oh, shit. We got to move over here. Who doesn't want to smoke a joint with a chupacabra? That's what I'm saying.

I feel like he has that energy. I just wanted to call that out while we're talking about the chupacabra. Would the chupacabra be best friends or worst enemies with the Boston Baked Bean Boy? I feel like he would just like... Nemesis. Nemesis.

The Boston Baked Bean Boy? He is about stealing nugs and delivering them to people in need. Yeah, but he ain't got no blood. Yeah, chupacabra sucks blood out of goats. Okay, all right. I didn't know. Two worlds, two different worlds. A city boy and a country boy.

Well, continuing on with the idea of blood and sacrifice being important to the kind of cryptid lore, there's actually legend of the... And I'll butcher this. Likichiri or Charisaurus, depending on where you're from. All of these are fun to say. Yeah, absolutely. These are all options for chupacabra alternate names?

No, these are different examples of vampiric cryptids in Latin American folklore. Oh, okay, I see. To give a precedent of these kinds of creatures. So these two creatures are actually supposed to be one and the same, just depending on where you're from is depending on like the little bit of difference on how you say it and the lore behind it. But overall, the creature is either a profession referred to as a profession

or a cryptid from the indigenous Ayamara people of the Andes, who's believed to take fat to European nations to cure all kinds of things like diseases and sicknesses. What? So this creature takes fat and then delivers it to European nations where they are believed. Can we back up just for a second? Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Time out. Whoa, hold on. You're going to have to back up a couple more times. I'm just looking at the script and it says who's believed to take fat. Believed to, yes. Yeah, and I'm just... I want to just unpack the process of what we're talking about here. Where is the...

Whose fat is it? Where is it coming from? People fat. Oh, let's... Yeah, I'll clear that up for you right now. Don't you worry about a dead thing? Take fat. Yeah.

So he would take it to European nations and either in... Where the people of the European nations would cure all kinds of things with it, like diseases and sicknesses, and then barring that, the creature would then sell it to shady folk to be used in surgery and the development of anesthetics. So the legend is... The legend is that's what the monster does? That's correct.

Like he's engaging in international commerce? Here it is. The bizarre... He's like a black market cryptid. The bizarre cryptid is known to slice long, thin slits from its victim's sides to remove their fat. The attack is painless and healed before the victim even knows what happened. Meanwhile, if you look at the caracery version,

it uses a needle to drain their blood and fat, leaving behind prick marks similar to that of a vampire. I mean, if they're already trading it, they should just charge for the process. Yeah, hold on a minute. The leaky cheery? Yeah. Yo, call me.

We can do business, bro. Painless fat removal? Come on. Are you kidding me? Here's what I have a question for you before we move on. What do you think this cryptid looks like? A little bald man in a black tuxedo. A creature who steals the fat from your very person to go...

Like, I imagine it looks exactly like a kinkista door, is what I would imagine. A small bald man with purple skin in a black tuxedo with a mustache, like Sinestro, and he's... No, this is very... Like a Butler Sinestro. No. This is super clearly just a metaphor, right?

It has to be. The idea... Jesse is 1,000% correct because this cryptid is often referred to look like a gringo or a white person. So much so that in the 1970s and 80s, there were multiple attacks on foreigners in the area who were blamed for things happening to the villages. In 1978, for example, in the town of Chipaya,

the people living there all came down with a mysterious illness that left them with small red dots on the victims' bodies. The village believed those who had gotten sick were attacked by a carcery, accusing a foreign man as the carcery, where a mobbed, kidnapped him, tortured him, and tried learning who he was working with. The police actually had to arrest the man simply to get him out of the hands of the mob, but his family was persecuted, ostracized,

and his young kids were beaten to the point of brain damage. Whoa. What the fuck? All because they believed he was a carcery. Oh, my God. What? Wait. Okay.

I mean, what's crazy is that you're talking about the 1970s and 1980s, when this seems like, I was like, oh, conquistador, because this must be a thing that was from 1536. And you're like, no. Well, that's the thing, right? And that's what the date of tale is. It's clear that the Catasira and Leakachiri were tales, and originally for warning of native intruding explorers or something along those lines.

Sure. It's definitely what it seems like, yeah. Yeah, but then you fast forward, and now the people kind of believe it's more mystical, and then they take it to a much more violent and nefarious end. Jesus. Yeah. Okay.

Now, this is my favorite line in the script. You know what else causes brain damage, boys? What? What? The year 2020. I'll give you an amen to that, Matthew. Go on. And you know what's important when the world's on fire?

Taking care of your mental health, and that's why I'd like to thank today's sponsor, Talkspace. What's that you think? Segway? Pretty good Segway, I think. I'd give it an eight or nine out of ten. I think it was solid. You know what?

Coming from you, that means a whole lot. The King of Segways. Yeah, the King of Segways. Isn't there like an urban legend that the King of Segways drove off a cliff on his Segway, but actually he's alive? I've never heard that. Was that an Alex episode? I don't know.

There's it. I don't know. Never mind. Don't worry about it. Either way, I think it's fair to say that this being indoors thing is kind of our new normal, has been our new normal for a while. Sure. And somebody like me who actually deals with a lot of mental health issues, and I see therapy

every single week, being kind of locked in for a while really made me start going crazy. And I really worried about being able to see my therapist, but luckily things shift. And as the new normal shifts, so does how our therapist and how we talk to them and reach out to them ends up shifting. And Talkspace is exactly that. With Talkspace, you get 24-7 access to the support you need with all therapists across a bunch of different networks. And you'll get same-day responses five days a week, Monday through Friday from all the

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What a great promo code we got. Right. What a great promo code we got on that one. It is. It is a guy love that our promo code is CHILL. Yeah. It's like a therapy thing, like that it's CHILL. Yeah.

It's great. I love it. So the Kashiri and Leakachir are interesting, but boys, that's not what we're here for. So let's dive in. I did forget. We had gone off on a tangent there. We really did. But again, I think it's important.

Vampire lore is pervasive in Latin American folklore. So the Chupacabra, we're going to go through a bunch of sightings, what they could possibly be if we have an explanation. And then at the end, as always, we're going to talk about what some of the theories are, all the fun and fantastical as well as the factual. The first one is where else but Puerto Rico by Madeline Palantino in the summer of 1995. Sometime during the second week of August, Madeline had an encounter with the Chupacabra or at least something that they were convinced was the Chupacabra.

Madeline and her mother lived near a rather busy street. Around the night in question, Madeline had been sleeping in her bedroom. While she slept, her mother tended to household chores, but through the window, she saw something grotesque in their yard. No taller than three feet high, smelling like sulfur, stood a creature on all fours. Its hands were human-like with extended long fingers and nails. Its eyes were large and slanted, while its nose was entirely missing and in its place just two dots.

The skin was gray, wet and wrinkled with a sheen that made it look like leather. While not entirely bald, the only areas with fur appeared to be scorched or burned looking. That whole grayhound hit with the flamethrower. I'm telling you, look up a picture, just google it, you'll be like, oh shit, wow. Really? Not the grayhound Chupacabra. Right, yeah, google Chupacabra, don't google grayhound. No, no, no, don't look that up.

Why would you do that? What's wrong with you? When seeing the creature, Madeline's mother shouted from Madeline to waking her up and they rushed back to the window to watch the creature move from their yard over a fence and into an empty lot before losing sight of it. They reckoned the encounter was no more than three to five minutes. Another strange note to this encounter was the road. As I stated earlier, they lived by what they considered a busy road, but on this, while

this encounter was going on, the street was entirely empty. The mother even looked down to see if it had any genitalia as well, but she said she saw none. And further, when Madeline described how the creature moved, she said, quote, it was skipping like a kangaroo, but it had no tail. It didn't touch the ground, but it had no wings. What? It came out like it was running as it approached.

The interviewer then asked for clarification on what she meant when she said it didn't touch the ground, but he ended up receiving no clarification. Unfortunately, without any physical evidence, there's really no way to know what the creature could have been or if it was even anything other than a mangy dog. It sounds like she was saying it was floating. No, it does sound like she's saying it was floating. Yeah, that's exactly what it sounds like. What the fuck?

Yeah, weird. It's a weird one. We're now going to move forward. It looks like a guy. I mean, there's a little piece of art here. It looks like a little thing here. It looks like Mr. Tumnus, but like a gray. You know, that's kind of right.

Yeah, it has like some shaking his head. It's Mr. Tumnus, but a gray, but also it's got some of the hedgehog spikes. That's a lot. That's a lot you're putting on this. Look at the fucking picture, though. Like that, like that is exactly what that looks like. Before we move away from Madeleine, they did claim to have a second encounter. I didn't write it down because they didn't see it.

They just smelled sulfur, and she said she knew for a fact it was the chupacabra. So you know, take that as you will. I don't know how I take that particularly, but now to the next. But the smell nevertheless coincided with the beast again, and again, weirdly, the smell that kind of accompanies a lot of like aliens or other supernatural occurrences that sulfur smell, men in black. Same thing. Brimstone.

Very weird. That's right. They're hell creatures. So we're going to move five years later into late August in Nicaragua, is where we find ourselves our next chupacabra encounter. Jorge Tavera was the owner of a small farm, and all through August over the course of just two weeks, he ended up losing 25 sheep to nocturnal attacks. 25?

Yeah. Over 14 days. That's more than one per day, usually. When he started to look into why, he learned that his neighbor had also been having nocturnal attacks on his livestock, where he lost 35 sheep in the past two weeks, two and a half weeks. So we're talking a total of 60 sheep? Yeah, it's a lot.

Finally fed up with losing his life's work, Jorge set up a night watch on the evening of August 25th with his friend, hoping to catch sight of what was causing him so much trouble. So after setting up, the two sat and watched for hours, and eventually their patience paid off. Jorge heard a distressed call of a goat, and as soon as he looked over to the herd, he saw a herd of goats that he had. He saw a couple of unknown creatures among them, rearing up on their hind legs and lunging

to attack the goats. It's just like the skinwalkers. Yeah, a little creepy, and seeing that in the dim darkness, only moonlight illuminating it. Jorge immediately grabbed the shotgun and fired at the creatures, clearly wounding one. The animals, whatever they were, instantly backed off and ran into the woods alive. The next morning, Jorge went looking for the bodies, but found nothing. However, here's how he described what he saw that night.

The creature had, quote, yellow hair on its short tail with large eye sockets and large claws and fangs, unquote. Its skin was leathery like a bat, and down its spine it had bumpy crocodiles, had a bumpy spine like a crocodile's crest. It had rose-colored teeth and the head of a bull. But still, upset by the lack of body being after being shot, Jorge thought that's where it would end, except three days later, Jorge's ranch hand noticed circling vultures in the sky nearby and went to see what the heck they were doing so close.

And he stumbled upon the corpse of a very badly decomposed creature. Absolutely thrilled that his ranch hand might have found the chupacabra he had shot a few nights ago, Jorge took the body and sent it over to the National Autonomous University of Nicaragua. By that time, however, word had gotten around of Jorge's daring night adventure and was hailed as the killer of the chupacabra. Did he think that it was, did he think that it was it? Yeah, he thought it was the chupacabra.

The rumors erupted with what the creature might be. Perhaps it was a freak creature that escaped a circus if it wasn't the chupacabra or maybe a hybrid of several species. The results of an ultra-top secret genetic engineering project. The reverend of the town believed it to be the sign of the end times. However, ultimately, the remains were identified by the university and came back as nothing more than a dog with a skin condition. Jorge took issue with that and refuses to believe it, claiming the body he sent must

have gotten mixed up with another body. My question then is, if that's true, why haven't we still heard that there was like a? Another creature. Yeah, like another weird creature that was like discovered. I wonder if the skin condition was getting it all burnt off with the flamethrower. Usually though, it's mange. Yeah. I mean, if you look at them like, if you look at mange and then you look, Google like chupacabra

and then Google like dog with mange and you'll see like, oh, I see. I see what happened here. I see what happened here. I wasn't sure you were. I thought you're going to lean in and say something. I thought you were going to be like, no, the chupacabra is real, dude. Yeah. That's where Jesse draws the line.

Yeah. I think you're right on the money. So I'm going to, I got nothing to add. We got more. Don't you worry, Jesse. You guys are doing my work for me. Look at it now. You just have to enjoy the facts pouring forth.

Yeah. I'm having a good time. So we're going to move forward a few years later. This time in Cuero, Texas, in mid July, 2007, Phyllis Canyon had a run-in with what she truly believes was the chupacabra. Like the stories prior, Phyllis was a rancher, but the loss of her livestock took a mysterious turn when 24 chickens had been killed in a very short amount of time. During this time, she had caught sight of a strange creature lurking near her ranch

and claimed that whatever was killing her livestock was not a typical predator animal because the attacks, the attack sites were bloodless and the creature never took the prey with it. So basically it was sucking their blood. I mean, yeah, I guess so. You know, like it just left a dead animal on the ground. There was no blood anywhere. That's like what they're trying to imply at the very least.

Yeah. The very least. Yeah. That's what they're taught. That's what Phyllis is trying to imply. A few days later, Phyllis got a call from a neighbor and from her neighbor and friend telling her about a strange creature lying in the road. And people had heard about her encounters and livestock problems by now.

So curious as to what it could be and hoping to put a pin in her livestock issues, Phyllis drove out to see the body. Upon arriving and inspecting the creature, Phyllis then got another call while she was out there and being told that another creature had been spotted near her ranch while she was out looking at this one. So she took the road kill with her, saving the head and body in her freezer for a while. She took the road. She took.

The road has a chupacabra? She took the chupacabra. And butchered it? Well, she just stored it in her freezer. The head and the body though. Yeah. The head and the body. That's all she took.

So she took, she left the legs and the tail. I imagine it was like a mess on the ground and she just kind of took what she could. Fair enough. And just kind of she lorped it into her truck. Got it. Yep. So she put the head and the body in the freezer for a while and described it as having large ears, large fang teeth, grayish blue elephantine skin, and that it was completely hairless.

With the corpse in hand, she finally had physical proof and the explanations began to pour in with the one being the one main one being that it's some sort of coyote with the case of sarcoptic mange or that it was a Zolo, a Zolo Titsquintley dog. That's that hairless Mexican dog breed that I mean, honestly. Yeah. It's like it's a Zolo is the breed of dog, the only in Mexico. It looks, it looks very much like a Chupacabra. Yeah.

It's hideous as hell. And if you own one of these dogs, man, I'm sure it's wonderful. The money was worth it to me. Hideous. So Phyllis vehemently denies both of those explanations stating even for a maindren animal, it was too hairless and the nearest Zolo was 80 miles away. Eventually, the creature was sent off for testing and the results were aired live on TV on the Halloween of 2007.

There, Dr. Michael Forstner revealed that the animal was in fact a coyote. And again, Phyllis was unhappy with the results. But instead of claiming conspiracy like the prior person, she took matters into her own hands. What you don't know about Phyllis is that she was a self-professed nature, naturopathic doctor. If that thing. So she just says she's a doctor, even though she's she just asserts that she's a doctor

with no credentials. Yeah. She's a she's a self-professed naturopathic doctor. You made me about to Google naturopathic doctor. Do it up because her and a bunch of other naturopathic doctors looked at the DNA and agreed that the DNA was in no way an exact match to a coyote out of here. No way. Not even a chance.

You see, the technique that they used to identify the DNA for the show was mitochondrial, which could only prove who the matrilineal parent was, meaning the father could be something else entirely, which Phyllis believes to be maybe be the chupacabra. So we might be looking in her freezer as like a weird half breed, a chupacabra slash coyote half breed. The chupacabra is out there slottin' it up with a bunch of coyotes. I'm in a great old time. Why is he up?

Why is he doing that? I don't know. I have no idea. Are you satisfied with your naturopathic doctor definition? I just imagine that the chupacabra is sentient. I mean, kind of, naturopathy literally just seems to be like old world medicine things. Correct. But more importantly, one of the things here, I can't tell if it's a real, here's my problem.

I can't tell if this is a real website because I don't have time to dig into it, but it's one of those things where it gives you a fact and you're like, OK, but is that a real fact or like a website fact? Yes. A website fact. You know. I do. It's just made up BS.

And so they're saying that naturopathic physicians attend medical college where they study the same coursework as traditional medical doctors. I don't know that that's accurate. But what if you're just self-professed? Yeah. What if you're self-professed naturopathic doctor? Well, then that's totally different. Exactly.

Well, she had a bunch of her friends look at it with her and Phyllis, truly believing that this is what it is, then spent $1,000 to have another sample tested and analyzed at the University of California, Davis Genetics Lab. And the results were similar to the first, but with an interesting twist. Yes, the mother's side was coyote, but the father's side contained an allel that occurs in Mexican wolves, which Phyllis did end up accepting. However, not fully convinced that the father was a wolf, as that specific allel can be found other animals as well.

Phyllis claiming that perhaps it can be found in the chupacabra. So this was like a chupacabra, like a half chupacabra, like a half elf. Yes, her body would be at the most optimistic half breed. Or maybe chupacabras are like, you know, what happens when maybe they're like the liger of coyotes and wolves. Maybe they're not real. Who knows? Maybe they're government experiments that were accidentally unleashed from a secret

OK, maybe our final encounter for the night. And trust me, there were so many, but these are the more interesting ones. The final story for the day or they were there. Encounters are like, we saw one. It ate a dog and then it left. And that's the end of the encounter. OK, it ate a dog. I like attacked their pet basically and stuff like that.

OK, you know, whatever. It ate a dog. It ate a dog. A story for the night comes to us from Texas near Blanco in 2009. Only two years after our previous story. Which involved, wouldn't you know it, more chickens. One night, a rancher could hear his chickens being attacked outside, only able to catch a glimpse to him.

It looked like a raccoon or some other local animal. And so he set out to play poison out for the thing that night. It was an immediate success. Yes. Alex. What? Oh, you I thought you I cut you off. It looked like you were going to ask a question. You look confused. My bad.

I was just ready to find out what happened with the boys. OK. So the poison was an immediate success as the next morning he came across the corpse of the creature. The corpse had dark brown skin, was completely hairless, except near its feet and spine and looked canine in nature. The man reached out with to his to his cousin, Lynn Butler, who suggested that they take it to a local taxidermist with 20 years of experience named Jerry Ayer.

Ayer immediately noted the similarities between this and the Quero Chupacabra and was interested in the corpse. Which one is the Quero Chupacabra? That's the one we just talked about the previous one. Yeah, he's he recognized it seemed similar. So he wanted it. So after some discussion and wheeling and dealing, the group agreed to give the corpse over to Ayer.

And in turn, they'd get a free course on duck taxidermy. What? Hell, yeah. That's a good trade. All right. I mean, you know, you get what you pick, right? Yeah. Now, before he handed over the body, Texas A&M actually also came out and took samples of the animal. Ayer then taxidermy it and now now has it on display.

There's actually pictures of it. It looks really cool, but it does look like a greyhound that's been scorched with a with a blast torch. And after Texas A&M took the the the samples, nobody ever heard what the results were and nobody ever and nobody's ever found out. Ayer personally believes it to be just like a mutant coyote, but he calls it the chupacabra because the people around is around the area love it. They just like love to come see it.

Yep. They love to come see it. So you love to go see it. They love to come see it. No, it's out. It's outside his taxidermy thing. It's like he posed it in a ferocious attacking pose. Like it's it's pretty neat looking. Those are the most important examples of encounters with the chupacabra. So now. Oh, yeah. Wow, it looks dope.

Yeah, it's cool. Um, but it does look like just like a dog. Right. It just looks like a roughed up dog. So now we're going to talk about some explanations. And we're going to start with some of the, I guess you'd call them weirdness of the attacks and of the animal. For instance, it's hairlessness. What could be the cause of the hairlessness?

Well, as we've already talked about, a lot of the chupacabra corpses are seemingly nothing but major in coyotes, dogs are a weird, rare Mexican Zolo. Is that what it was called? Yeah, Zolo. People tend to kind of refute them of the mangy coyote theory because of the degree of hairlessness as seen with the canyons assertion above. Right. But it's not necessarily out of the question because a lot of the other ones have like the patches of hair

that are just look a burnt and whatnot and aren't completely hairless like some of the others. It's so well that there's so many of them, like with a big foot, right? There's like no big foot. You don't ever find just like a dead fucking big foot. Man, yeah, it's a bummer. But you do find the dead chupacabra is like all the damn time. Yeah, they're everywhere, which leads me to believe, like, you know,

the fact that it's so common, like, come on, like it's got to be just like a dog or a coyote. Yeah, true. And I mean, it makes sense that we'd see a lot of these chupacabras dead on the ground as well, because if they if they are only coyotes with mange and stuff, a lot of the time that a lot of the reason that these animals die is actually because of hypothermia. Mange is caused by parasitic mites, but the cause of like all their hair loss and whatnot and the effect that has on their bodies ends up,

they just kind of crumple over and end up dying. So if there's a bad mange in the area, you're going to see more than one corpse over the course of a few years and like in the Southwest, the warmer climate can keep the creature alive long enough for almost all of the animals for to fall out before death occurs from other causes as well. So again, a lot of the corpses being found in the South, they're not going to die of hypothermia before all their hair falls, you know, before all their hair falls out.

They're going to likely lose everything. The other big thing is bloodless crime scenes, right? Like what's going on with bloodless crime scenes? And that seems to be a telltale sign of the chupacabra because they've been sucked dry by the joint sucker that they have. But the evidence of the chupacabra's involvement is usually not that there's no blood, but that there's just less blood. A lot of the livestock ranchers usually walk out there expecting to see a massacre.

But a lot of the time just see kind of like quick spurts of blood and nothing more. It's not that there's no blood at all. And it's also important to keep in mind. Canids attack by their victims by biting their throats where when a coyote bites a goat, for example, it leaves two puncture marks by the neck because that's where they would bite. But all of the fatal bleeding is inside. It's all internal bleeding that's killing it, the crushing and whatnot,

not a violent fight of ripping open things. So you're not going to get a lot of blood on the ground when there's when like a dog just doesn't happen normally anyway. Yeah, it's not going to be a huge mess. That's kind of the thing with like cattle mutilations, too, right? It's like a lot of the time it's just people just don't realize what something actually looks like in practice. You know what I mean? That's exactly it.

Yeah. I mean, some of the the ones that I left out of these things are literally somebody thought that the chupacabra was a dead manta ray because of the face and the way it was positioned. And it looked like somebody might have messed with the courts beforehand. And they thought it was the chupacabra, but it was just a dead stingray. What? Like they didn't know what it looked like. It was weird. Where were you that you must took a stingray for a chupacabra? When you there's actually a picture of it in the outline, I can get it for you.

But like it just looks like it looks like somebody cut the stingray up a little bit and kind of moved parts around. But it still looks like a slimy creature. It doesn't like look like a chupacabra. It's weird. The chupacabra is such a great one because that's what I mean. He's like a vibe more than he is a specific set of traits. Like nobody's nobody's exactly clear on what a chupacabra is or what it does.

Right? Yeah. Again, again, like we said at the beginning of the episode, the two separate descriptions entirely, just like, but they're both the same creature, apparently. And a lot of people will come forward, too, and they'll say, well, their ranchers will actually go up to the to the corpse of the of their livestock and they'll poke it with a knife to prove that the blood is all gone. But again, when when you die, the blood stops, the heart stops pumping. All the blood ends up pooling to the bottom, coagulating.

When you poke the top of a body, it's not going to bleed after it's been dead for a day or two. Right. Exactly. Just makes sense. Yeah. So just the typical like physical natural explanations as to where you could come across and why you could come across rather those types of evidence of quote unquote chupacabra attacks. There's also obviously the longstanding history of blood related folklore in this area of the world.

As we talked about earlier, Latin American countries have a history of social cultural vampirism, white Europeans and Americans have a long tradition of evading Latin American countries, taking their natural resources, lifeblood and leaving nothing behind. And like we talked about earlier with the first example, that's where a lot of these stories end up coming from of these vampiric creatures. They're always a metaphor or a story for something else that spins out of control and then get to life of its own as the decades and centuries end up going on.

That is so fucking weird. And but it's so cool. It is kind of you look at like the top, you know, we had kind of a similar right happening that where it starts as a practical thing. And then it becomes something wild out of control. Chupacabra is just still kind of in his babies, baby steps. Yeah, he's a baby baby cryptid still. Yeah, beyond that, fun.

This is like some fun historical facts. But as far as what they could be, what they could be in fantasy or shall we call conspiracy in the world where everything is true. In a world where everything is true, there is a theory out there where the Chupacabra is not necessarily a cryptid, as we would know him, like the Sasquatch, but a manmade creature, a bunch of canines that had been experimented on and genetically messed with over the course of many years deep in the jungles of South America and broke out at one point

and then in a breeding and crossbreeding with other animals over the course of many years and the Chupacabra, as we know, it isn't necessarily the Chupacabra blood sucking goat monster, but it is a genetic experiment run amok in the jungle and creating its own subspecies that we can't truly identify. But to what end? To what end, these dogs? Well, that's what I mean. They're like, you know, they have a plan.

That's all you need to know. OK. Yeah, sure. It's a plan. Absolutely. What are they doing making an army of dogs like that talking Nazi dog or whatever the hell? Yes, exactly. Also, did you know that the descriptions of Tolento's Chupacabra, what we talked about earlier, Jorge and the images of sill from species are strikingly similar in the timing between the sighting August 95 and the rest of the film July 95 can't be a coincidence.

The purported theory for the Puerto Rican Chupacabra and sill are even remarkably similar top secret US government genetics experiments gone wrong. Another connection. Wait, so wait, wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, time out, time out, time out, pause. So what you just said is that. A movie released in July. Yeah, this guy saw it in August. Correct. The one in Puerto Rico was afterwards as well.

But the theory is that there's genetic genetics things. No, no, no, no. I mean, I. Word I was like, I'm word bad, me word bad, me word bad. It's more debunking it, saying that the theory for the Puerto Rican Chupacabra are remarkably similar to the plot of species. All right, all right, all right. That's where I'm like, yeah, that sounds accurate.

So species came out and then the first sighting happened. And there was a lot of similarities. I mean, honestly, looking at this, it doesn't look like the Chupacabra. Yes, yes, the Chupacabra little sucky. That's a little suck. You know, it was even worse than species was in transformers, like two or three. There's like a girl who's like a Decepticon robot. Yeah. God, it's not weird.

Sure. It's like her tongue is like the only organic part of her body. It's fucking weird, dude. For whatever the reason, Talentino or Jorge, fully, I'm just moving on. I'm fine. Moving right along. Yeah, moving right along. For whatever reason, Jorge still believes that what he saw is real. Whether he believes the species movie he saw is like dramatized based on real events or he believes that it was real events is really unknown.

But he sticks to the fact that that he what he saw is what he saw. And that is true. So he's like, I saw the creature from some from species, but it's real. But it's real, but it must have been a dramatization of actual events. The movie is the dramatization of real life. Yeah, he's trying to like get the truth out. He's trying to get the truth out of that. The reason that it looks similar is because the people who are making real

movie species are trying to the scene of a dude kissing species in a hot tub. And then it's back to the back of his head. The theories is really, really hard. It's based on a true story. Got you. No, I get it. Yeah, based on a true story. I get it. Based on a true story. Understood.

But I'm more inclined to believe all of the other more realistic stuff. But that is the end. Of the Chupacabra, ladies and gentlemen. Chupacabra real, real creature, a fake creature, final. It's a fake final answer. Well, I think it's real in that it's these are all actual weird animals that they're seeing, whether they're mange dogs or they're some sort of bizarre subspecies of canine that nobody really seen before or whatnot.

But it's not a it's not a like blood-sucking cryptid. There is no Chupacabra blood-sucking cryptid. Well, that is what we're talking about is not the one with the slurpy bit. No, no, no, we're not the one with the slurpy bit. That's the real Chupacabra. The real Chupacabra has a straw mouth. Look out. So stupid.

It's so stupid. Oh, that's another classic cryptid in the book, boys. We still got so many more to do. The Sasquatch has to get done eventually. Nessie needs to get done eventually. Though the Nessie is not really an episode worthy. That's what I'm saying, like Chupacabra is one of those ones. Like I typically am like, you know, with a lot of things that people like to poo poo.

I'm always like, well, you know, something probably happened because they're all saying they're all describing something. But with the case of the Chupacabra, it feels like I'm like, it's probably a dog with mange. Yeah. Yeah. Jesse, you're the only dissenting one. You believe it's an actual cryptid? What exactly?

Thank you all so much for listening. We've got to go record the next chill mini for our lovely patrons over at patreon.com slash shilluminati pod. Thank you for your support over there. We love you very much. You can find a tweet on all of us doing our normal thing over on Twitter. I'm at Mathis Games, Alex at Faustiana. Hey, Jesse's at Jesse Cox.

The show is at shilluminati pod. And you can do the same thing over at Reddit where there's so many stories. There's so the Halloween episodes coming up. So get your stories in. Yeah, that's what we need them for. Get hype, get them in there. And if you've got stuff that you don't want to make public, but want to send us our way, wink, wink, hint,

military insiders, send us emails over at shilluminati pod at gmail.com. It's always a good time to see when we've got people on the inside getting us the truth when the world tries to hide it all. We'll see you next week, everybody. Goodbye. Hey, hey. Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night enjoying ourselves.

I needed to go to the bathroom, so I stepped back inside. And after a few moments, I hear my wife go, holy shit, get out here. So I quickly dash back outside. She's looking up at the sky in the hall. I look up too. And there's a perfect line of dozen lights traveling across the sky. Do you feel like you need more adventure in your life?

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