Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 73 - Halloween Special YOUR True Stories!

Episode Date: October 26, 2020

Patreon - http://www.patreon.com/chilluminatipod BUY OUR MERCH - http://www.theyetee.com/collections/chilluminati Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/ThatOneLazerClown Art Commissioned by - http://www.mollyheadycarroll.com Theme - Matt Proft End song - POWER FAILURE - https://soundcloud.com/powerfailure Video - http://www.twitter.com/digitalmuppet

Bring the flavor to any fiesta with new Modelo Celada Sandia Picante, a mix of authentic Mexican beer, vibrant watermelon flavor, and a hint of chile. Modelo Celada Sandia Picante, bite for bold flavors, bite for authenticity. Drink responsibly Modelo Celada Flavored Beers imported by Crown and Ports, Chicago, Illinois. Hello, hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Chiluminati Podcast Hween Edition. Oh, yeah. No, no. It's the Hween. Happy, double Hween, baby. Happy Halloween. Get it? Hween? No. Double. Double Hween. Happy. Yeah, just go out there and be like, yo, double Hween. Yeah, exactly what you're talking about. If you say double Hween to

someone, they're going to kick your ass. Don't do that. Okay, this is the Chiluminati challenge. Okay, tick tock. Don't do that. Head out there and wish somebody a double Hween and say it like that, Hween, because that's part of it. And get them to say, all right, get away from me. And if they ask you what the hell are you talking about, you direct them to patreon.com slash chiluminati pod to get all the info that they need. Isn't that right, Alex? That's absolutely right, Mathis. And let me tell you something. As somebody who's benefiting directly from this Patreon, I got to say that it is a great investment into your future. Because not only do you get 15 extra minutes of the Chiluminati pod every week, and I mean that.

I mean, every week you get another 15 minutes beyond what anybody else gets to hear. And you get some of the best art that I've ever seen on the internet. I've been around. You know me. You know me. You know how crazy my public image is. I've seen some shit. Is your public image crazy? Everybody thinks I'm some kind of wizard. Here's what I'm going to tell you. I am a wizard and it's because of patreon.com slash Chiluminati pod where you can become part of the Chiluminati yourself. So head on down there. Come to Chiluminati today. Go check it out. We dropped the digital poster for October today, the episode that you're listening to. It's based on the gnome episode that we did with Dodger as a guest. It's great. It's called

Know Your Gnomes. It's like a list of all the gnomes that we did and all drawn out and stuff. It's really cool. Go check it out. It's so fucking good. Go look at it. My gnome shirt is the same as one of my actual shirts. I mean, it's true, but all your shirts. I don't want to say all your shirts look the same, but they all fit a theme. Gnomes. Yes, correct. All your shirts are gnome themed. All gnome themed. It's really weird. I'm like, I have the wardrobe. I got it from the Smithsonian for the TV show David the gnome. After he died at the end, I took all his clothes. I just think he dies. Yeah, I got his clothes on. He dies at the end. Yeah, so sad. You know, just in case it wasn't clear, everybody, happy Halloween. This is your Halloween episode.

Unfortunately, the way the schedules line up this week, next week, which would normally be the Halloween episode, actually misses it. We'll be missing Halloween. So we're going to do our Halloween this week and then next week. I'm not going to sit here dressed like a fucking Quaker with my buckles and my big, tall hat trying to breed you scary Halloween stories. You know, it's true. That's exactly what he looks. It's like it's exactly what it looks like. And if the $20,000 goal will record it. Face reveal. $20,000 face reveal. Perfect. Doesn't matter that you've already seen it. You can Google it. You can Google me by name, but I'll give you your own. Come to a live show if we ever do those again. Yeah. If the world

ever allows us to. Yeah. Yeah. If we're ever allowed to do live shows. We're one year away. Last year was when we did our last live show. And we were like, yeah, I love that was so much fun. I had a good time. That was my first time doing like a live show that wasn't at a convention. Very different feel. Shout out to Apple Cider Donuts. That was a delightful little thing that I didn't know that I was going to get. Yeah, they're happening right now again out here. It's great. It's sturdy. I want that. Well, it's our third Halloween boys, our third Halloween together as a podcast. Seems impossible. Seems impossible. I know we started this podcast six months ago, Mathis. What are you talking about? It does feel like that. It really does feel like that.

It feels like it was a six months ago thing right before the outbreak of the plague happened. Amityville. Amityville. It was actually one month into quarantine that we started this podcast. That's right. We've gone through 73 episodes since then. It's been a wild time. And as always, as is tradition for this podcast, we'll be reading your true stories for the special. And thank you to everybody who went over to the subreddit. Drop those stories. True stories? Well, true in their world. Jesse requests that an asterisk be placed after true. Thank you. There's a final story. I gave you all boys the script, but there's a final story left off because much like we started last stories, we'll be ending this one with a wild drug trip.

Yes. I'll be reading it for all of you. If it involves Jimmy C., I'm leaving the show. Involves? No, it does not. But also, I know we're... This is the podcast. I don't know what people want. There's another artist out there who drew like a comic of young mythists and Satan. And somebody said they should make the young Satan also Jimmy C. driving like a black Mercedes. This is utopia on it. I love it. I would love that. I want to make that comic. It looks great. That fan art was so good. I want to make that a comic. I've asked them about pricing. We might see if we can make like a stretch goal to get like one special issue of like a chilluminati themed comic or something. Oh my God, that'd be so funny. I want to let you know the legend of Little

Mathis and Satan has continued into Scary Game Squad and other things we do. We always bring up the fact that like, so at some point in time, there was a Little Mathis who was like, look, God won't give me superpowers. Would you say? You think it was a one thing, dude? I tried that multiple times. That's what I'm saying. It's part of who you are. It is. And it never, and it didn't happen. I never became a power ranger. So let's dive into some stories. I'll start off today, boys. It's called The Ghost of Edinburgh Castle by author or Reddit user, Edgy Wedge. You can always trust me with that name. Wedgy from Reddit. Author, Edgy Wedgy, King of the Britons.

King of Edinburgh Castle. As most do, it starts by saying, so I'll start off by saying, I don't really believe in ghosts or aliens or any of that jazz, but I'm completely open to the idea of them. I do believe there are unexplainable things that happen, and that's what the story is all about. I used to work as a tour guide at a tourist attraction in Scotland. The Real Mary Kings Close. That could be literally anything. I have no, I just by that name as an American person, ignorant person, no idea what that could be. Literally could be any tourist thing. The Real Mary Kings Close. That doesn't even seem like it makes sense to go. Yeah, no, it doesn't to me either. Claim to be the most haunted place in Edinburgh.

As you say, Edinburgh, or is it Edinburgh? I don't think we can do it. I thought it was Edinburgh, and that seems about Scottish, right? Edinburgh, right? I don't got it. Any of us can say it without sounding like an asshole. I think, Mathis, you definitely should call it Edinburgh from now on. All right. Edinburgh, definitely. We ignore the H at the end. Just go on Edinburgh. Yeah, that sounds right. Remember to leave a five star review on iTunes, guys. Please do. We're almost at 1400.

What we did there was we would take a group of people downstairs underneath the city, where there was ruins of old Edinburgh. There. Now you're probably wondering why there's a city. Definitely not how you say that. Yeah, you just, you say burr, and then you pause, and then you say go after. Yeah, you really got to understand the diff, as they say. Right, right. Now you're probably wondering why there's a city underneath Edinburgh, but that does not mean a little bit of a history lesson. But that does mean,

rather, a little history lesson. What happened way back when in the 1600s was they wanted to build a new trade center in Edinburgh, as they were worried about business being spread across all of the streets throughout the city and losing money, and they found the perfect place for it. The problem was they were buildings, they were, they were buildings in the way, in a very, very steep hill going down. Why they thought that was the perfect place, who knows, but they built it there anyway. To do that, they leveled the buildings on the hill down to the level of the main street, but that meant the buildings lower down the hill still had two or three floors standing. So they built the trade center on top of all of these buildings

and streets, and closes as they were called. What a close basically is, is an alleyway, and we have three closes we go on during the tour with Mary King's being the grand finale. Okay. Now that, that's out of the way, back to the spookiness. Sorry, go ahead. Got it. Look, I needed that information actually. Yeah, I really needed it. It does, it sets the stage, we know kind of where we're at, and you can actually look at the real Mary King's closes now. Yeah, yeah, it's an alley. I feel like this is like, you know, when they tried to make the real Ghostbusters,

and the reason why it was called the real Ghostbusters is because there was already a TV show called Ghostbusters, they couldn't have a show called the Ghostbusters. Is this one of those situations where there's actually another close called Mary Queen of Scotsman? There's a 70s porn star called Mary King's, and she couldn't, and she didn't want her license to be infringed upon. Check this out. Yeah. We also did Ghost Tours, Ghost Hunters, we also did Ghost Tours where Ghost Hunters would come down with a group of people and look for some of the residents of the close. I went along to make sure everyone was safe and to tell them about the place that they

had any questions, and because I was a broke student who needed the overtime, I feel that. I was genuinely excited to see what would happen, but I wasn't expecting anything. We have a few ghosts, the most famous being Annie, a girl whose family locked her in a room and left her to die after she caught the plague. In that time, what else are you going to do? I feel like that little girl sometimes. Do you ever think about that? Yeah, you know, especially with the old timey door-dash and ye olde Uber eats. It's the same. Sadly, that was a pretty common occurrence. So people who visit sometimes bring toys for her to help lift her spirits. It's Halloween, this person's like, okay.

We're going to war over this. They claim spirits was a pun. I guess that's like a spanish spirit Halloween. We're going to war with Scotland over that. Yeah, it's fair. So we go down. It's pretty quiet for the most part. They tried a few things, but nothing seemed to work. I wasn't surprised, but it was spooky enough being down there at midnight. We moved through a few more of the rooms and we ended up in the plague room. This is where we usually talk about the plague and how gross it was, but something else would be taking the stage tonight. They put out a radio that would beep and if any activity happened,

and they started doing their thing. So I'm now I'm curious personally, are they talking about a K2 meter or are they talking about a ghost box? It's one of our radio nerd. They're talking about an AM FM radio. You think it was an AM FM radio? I guarantee they turned it to 1077, the chill. The chill, what he said. Ah, we should start a radio station now. Let's just quit podcasting. The money's in radio, dude.

Yeah, that's a great idea. I don't think that's true. I don't think that radio. I am pivoting all the time. Satellite radio. Let's do it. Say, let's do it. I'm not saying that everyone I've known who's had a podcast who went to go do a radio show ended up doing way worse than radio show, but the fact that you know somebody who was in a

podcasting and then went and did a radio show personally, I just said listen to podcast before that then went to radio and then it was like, this show sucks. You know what we should do is get those. We should go on like Apple beats one and do a radio show. That's just us talking over a playlist. Like just playing Jaluminati episodes. Just us riffing on our own. We just set up like sit grooves to go along with like episode 69.

You do like. Oh, I love it. Yeah, I'm saying is you double. My, my end goal is to get the three of us hosting coast to coast a.m. one night. As guests host the dream. As guests host. Okay. If George was like, I have three guests.

I have three guests. I was coming tonight and we showed up. We were like, all right, fucking nerds. That'd be amazing. Coast to coast a.m. was canceled after its historic 35 year run when three assholes said fuck on the live radio and bankrupted the company. They come to us for comment. We're like, what the fuck?

And they just cut us out. Fuck you guys. Fuck the mainstream radio. So let's go. This person was really into it. It all seemed pretty stupid to me, but I was still hoping for something. They eventually gave up and we sat around for a little. And this sounds like a typical ghost hunting adventure.

Absolutely. Yeah, you give up after a while. Everything that I do. Actually, except for this podcast. You haven't given up on this yet. I could do it while sitting. That's true. And a woman from the tour group came up to me and asked me a few questions about the place.

And I eventually started talking about Annie. I was telling them about how she died and about her house and her family. Until I was shocked into silence by the radio going off. And when I say going off, it was going wild. It went for about 10 to 5 to 10 seconds and then stopped. I was pretty freaked out and I continued talking about Annie. It went off again. At this point, I was really spooked.

So much so that after me boasting about how I ain't afraid of no ghosts earlier, I swapped places with my friend in the room. Like that would stop the ghost. Yeah, they're not going to follow you. They can walk through walls, bro. Check yourself. No something 101. We spoke about it later and the hunters thought Annie might have reacted to me

since I was a familiar presence. I would be the only one she would recognize as I was the only tour guide. My other colleagues that were there were all from, uh, were all front of house team. But I should point out that Annie's room was actually on the next street over from where we were. So maybe it wasn't Annie, but just another poor soul. You may think that that was the end, but the ghosts weren't quite finished with me yet. We went through the rest of the ruins without incident until we got to the main event, Mary King's Close itself.

It was long enough after the last event that I shrugged it off as coincidence. Sure, the ghost can't be real. Yeah, that was it. That's every horror movie protagonist's first mistake. Never shrug it off. That's the only way to survive. It's not like I even saw anything yet. I was stood about halfway down the close with people scattered further below me.

I turned my head to look towards the top of the close where a real dark doorway sits. We have a button we can push to show a reflection of a ghost in the doorway. Wow. Way to admit that you rig your ghost tours. No way. That's like for a fake, right? I'm just said, we have a button we can push to show a reflection of a ghost in the doorway. And ghosts and guests have seen press this, you know, I hope that's what it is.

I thought for a laugh, I'd push the button, see if anyone got spooked. I got a good laugh at a few reactions until I told them it was me and they went back to ghost hunting. I looked up at the doorway again, but this time it wasn't pitch black. A tiny little orange light like the end of a lit cigarette was shining through the darkness, light slightly obscured by the door frame. Don't like that. I don't know why, but every part of me froze. I watched the light for what felt like minutes, but could only have been a few seconds.

It didn't look like it was giving off any light. I couldn't see it shining onto anything. I turned away to get someone to look, but I don't know if maybe I was going crazy because they couldn't see anything. I was too scared to go check. I don't know why, but everything in my body just didn't want to go into that doorway, so I sent someone else to check and nothing. It wasn't until then that someone else piped up saying they saw something,

but they didn't know what. Needless to say, it left me pretty shook, but I can't explain it. Now I know what y'all might be thinking, that I was fooled by some assholes looking to make a quick buck, but I don't think it's that easy. We strictly regulate who goes up and down the stairs to the close as the whole place is a major health hazard. As far as I knew, those hunters had not been down there beforehand,

and if they had been, they would have had a staff member with them. But then you might think that the staff member was in on it, but we all had a really strong ethic toward everything about Mary King's being straight facts. No matter what, everything that has happened or will happen will be completely true. No fake history, no fake ghosts. To be honest, I have no earthly idea what I saw that night, but it stuck with me. Part of me wanted to be some trick,

and the other part wanted to be real so bad. In the end, it was good fun, and that's all that matters. But I think about that night a lot, and what I saw. The end. That's so interesting. I don't. Yeah. It's like your classic kind of quiet, unassuming, subtle ghost story,

kind of encounters that can be chalked up to coincidence, but might be something else. It also could be something you saw that in the light you wrecked, you never seen before, but it's always been there. Like there's a lot of things it could be, but I think, yeah, I love a good low key. Like, I didn't know what I saw, and it was weird, and it creeped me out. Like, I think those are nice.

The best thing about that type of story is that it is utterly believable, especially if you're somebody who has ever been out. I know this sounds crazy to imagine not having done this at least once, but just being out in the wilderness or somewhere that's very dark and unfamiliar at night, even if it's your work, you never really get over being somewhere after hours. And just that little feeling of being on edge, noticing something and just hyper-focusing on it and getting freaked out,

regardless if it was real, like paranormal activity. This experience, I would bet dollars to donuts if we could check the body cam footage on it is 100% real. You know what I mean? Yeah, I used to work when I was 14, 15 at a church, as I used to clean four of them, and I just cleaned daytime during the summer, nighttime, and depending on the time of day,

depending on the way things were lit or not lit at all, that church was different levels of creepy entirely. Sure. Oh, yeah. Churches at night are terrified. Going to the basement during the day, and then going in when the sun was setting and stuff, and everything's just half lit, and you swear there's shadows everywhere.

I'm sure everyone has had that experience. I know I have, for sure. I'll admit to this, of being in a place or outside or wherever, and you are hit with a fight-or-flight response, and your response is like, flight, and you go from normal walking home to your running home as fast as you can, even though there is no reason for it to happen,

but you feel something that's like, oh, something's not right, and you just book it. And once you start running, you can't stop that adrenaline from pumping through, you're gone. I will say that I have forever been changed by, I think it was a Ghost Hunters episode where they were on, maybe it was the Queen Mary or something, but every time someone says,

we all work here, and we all take it very seriously, I often think back to that episode where they were filming, and a dude caught on camera, the sheets, floating off a bed. Yes, yes, I know what episode you're talking about. They were like, oh, there's literally a hidden secret passage here. Someone clearly pulled this,

and one of you people is lying to us. And I was like, see, that's one of those things where now I'm like, I don't know, people just be shady for reasons. Yeah, man. I don't know what to trust. Yeah, well, we're moving on to the next story. Jesse, you're going to be reading this one

because this is a dream for you to interpret. Oh, Lord, okay. This one's all yours. Great, Dream, Skating with Cthulhu by Aposos Chaos. I just wanted to say that I've been a long time fan of you guys. I've been watching Jesse and Alex since middle school, and I'm now in my second year of college. Does that make you feel old, LOL?

I had to leave it in for you. This is the scariest part of the goddamn message. Hilarious. Oh, my God. We're all so much closer to death. Anyways, I've been having a hard time sleeping lately due to stress from current real life events and from college. I've been taking melatonin sleep aid gummies

to help get, look, so have I. I'm on that train to help me get some more sleep. And let me tell you, those suckers knock you out fast. That's why they good. The other day, I woke up really late and had a very stressful day from trying to complete many assignments. And since they are all currently online right now,

it makes them unfortunately more stressful. I decided to take three of the gummies, which it recommends only two. I only take one, and I reckon I'm bigger than you. And I was awake for one moment and then out the next. I can imagine just sitting at desk. I feel fine. Look, I've taken two edibles at once,

and I know that was a terrible choice. Two edibles at once? Oh my God, I'm sorry. My world was like, whoa. Yeah, no thank you. So I learned your limits, kids. That's all I'm gonna say. The next thing I knew, I was in my high school

and I was watching a monitor in the hallway that said some of my classmates were on a space trip to the moon and everyone was excited. And I thought to myself, wow, how come I didn't allow myself the chance to be on that trip? I proceeded to go to class as they said morning announcements and I got in, and we got an emergency announcement that the spaceship our classmates were on blew up

and they all died? Everyone was shocked. And the only thing I thought was, wow, they didn't even get to do that once in a lifetime opportunity and felt pretty, it felt, which felt pretty selfish to say. A time skip happened and it was the last day before graduation, but nobody was happy because they were morning the explosion of our classmates.

For some reason, roller skating through the school reminiscing on life and what to do with my life now that I'm about to graduate. It's like the last episode of Magic School Bus. None of those kids survived when they all entered inside that body. They went to the space shuttle and it was, it blew up. All of them died, even for some reason they were shrunk. Lizard.

Yeah, Lizard was lost. In the sky over Cape Canaveral, Florida. This Frizzle was not certified. Unfortunately, her stars and planet dress billowed down from the heavens in so many pieces. One can say the field trip Frizzled out. Ryan Williams was fired from MSNBC. I then skate out the front doors and end up on a ledge

hanging in the air. Imagine walking out of a fire escape door and standing on a platform where they clean windows outside of tall buildings. Okay. Well, thank you. And next to me is a giant and recognizable blob monster with tentacles.

I feel an uncertain fear of it and ask, what is life worth living for if you don't take the right opportunities to make the best outcome? Deep question to ask dream blob. Yeah, it then sticks its tentacle out and replies to me with life is worth living through the opportunities you do take.

Don't spend time worrying about the opportunities you didn't take. Why am I imagining Matthew McConaughey's voice for this guy? Life is worth living. I then smile and take his tentacle hand as I roller skate off the edge of the platform and instead of plummeting to my death, the blob monster carries me

and floats me into the horizon. I then woke up feeling more relieved than I have in a week. That's an amazing story. I love this. Okay. So first off, just dream interpretation from the beginning.

You shouldn't take three sleeping pills. But it definitely feels like this is one of those things where just in general, the overall dream is you are stressed and you're thinking about your life and you're thinking about all the things happening in your life and all of the decisions that we make and the time that we have, right?

Because everything in our life is about how can I do things that I view are a safe bet for me with the time that I have to do them and make choices that aren't going to result in like, if you're anxiety driven, you're constantly thinking of the bad things that can happen with stuff. And have all 900 ways, something can go wrong.

Yeah, yeah. And it seems to me like this dream is you thinking about, okay, I didn't take the opportunity to go on this trip, right? Like I missed out on this trip. I can't believe I missed out on it. Everyone seems like they're happening. And the anxiety part of you is like, the ship exploded.

Oh no. And then like you have that part of you as well. Like what if I had gone on the trip and something bad had happened? What if, you know, you have all these thoughts in your brain and it's all just, you know, your brain trying to work through the concept and idea

of what you asked the blob, which is like, look, you know, is it worth living a life if you don't try to take opportunities? And I think that's the blob, which I'm going to assume is some amorphous version of like, you know, whatever, probably your own consciousness reaching out to you and being like,

you are probably the blob, right? The blob reaching out to you and being like, hey, it's okay. Come on, let's go. Let's, let's try this thing. And you, you sort of jump off and the blob's there to carry you, which is I think is another idea of saying like,

you can carry yourself through any problems. And at the end of the day, you know, it's about taking the leap. And sometimes it, it blows up. And sometimes it don't. And you just got to do it. And so I feel like hopefully you, you saying at the end,

you felt better than you felt in a long time that you take that like emotional gratitude and happiness and you move forward. And so instead of thinking like, I want to do this, what are all things that can go wrong? You now think I want to do this. What are the things that can go right and not focus on the problems

and focus on all the good things that could happen if you took the chance. And that's the best strategy for life. That's why this episode is sponsored by Bluetooth. That's right. When the aliens come, you don't want to take any chances. And you want to be sure you're ready

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you help make this podcast possible. So please be sure to use our promo code, chill at Bluetooth.com. Honestly though, no, like the thing is, like somebody who suffers from severe anxiety, the concern and the worry about things exploding is like can be paralyzing. But the thing I've learned being 34

and like just kind of being into my 30s is that as long as the explosion, like when you watch the explosion, as long as it's beautiful and you can pull something from it, not all explosions are worthless. Just, there's always something you can learn, right? Yeah, you just have to accept that

at the end of the day, you only control the choices that you make. And, and you only control your reaction to thing. Like stuff's gonna happen, whether you want it to happen or not. And you have no control over it. If you've any, if you learned anything about this show and space and time and the universe

and all the things you talk about, most of it, you have no, if there are aliens, just think about this. If there are aliens that are running the show, you have zero control over that. And there's nothing you can do. And there are, I don't feel so much better about life

than if they were like, aliens have been secretly controlling the world for a thousand years. I'm like, sweet, I can stop worrying and just be a stupid human, let's go. But even then, you have to do your daily stuff, right? Like, no matter what, it doesn't, there's so many things

that can possibly go wrong in a day. And yet somehow you're still, you're still cruising along. So all I'm gonna say to you is, control what you can control, focus on how you respond to things. And that's how you maintain a positive attitude is just be like, look, today sucked,

but tomorrow's another go around. Let's do this thing. You know, tomorrow, maybe the ship won't explode. Maybe tomorrow, frizzle will come back and everything will be good. You know, just, nothing fucking matters. Just get on the goddamn space shuttle. Even if you do blow up,

at least you were on the fucking space shuttle. That's really it. Yeah, that's exactly it. Haven't you seen Interstellar? No, actually. You could go back. Oh, never mind. I love to talk about it.

Not this. I have to be like, you can go. As we've said, over every episode, when I can travel again, we go to LA, we'll do some movies. We'll do some movies and commentaries over them or something. It'll be fun.

Yeah, just don't, you know, sometimes say some nice stuff to your bookcase. Exactly. All I'm saying is you can either be a McConaughey or you could be a Damon. Be a McConaughey. That's all I'm going to say. A Damon pooped to make potatoes.

All I'm saying is you could, no, I'm talking about Interstellar. Oh, is he in that movie? No, no comment. No comment. All right, got it. This next story is yours, Alex. Take it.

Which one of these is the username? The bottom one. Okay, all right. Uh, this already just out the gate. This one sounds crazy. This is The Attic Man by Eldritch Land. Ready? The Attic Man in Eldritch Land.

Right? The Attic Man in Eldritch Land. I'm a poppy for you. I'm a much better man. The alien eggs. All right. We love you, Seattle. First things first, I, 28-year-old male,

am a rational skeptic and do not believe in ghosts or demons, et cetera. Okay to use in podcasts. I'm going to have to stretch my mind for this one to get into character for this, but I'm going to do it. In 2005, my family moved from the home that I grew up in.

I never knew if it was for a particular reason, financial trouble, family issues, or anything like that. The house that we moved to was only about an hour away, but was very country. No stop lights at intersections, barely any paved roads, and more tractors on the road

than I had ever seen before. In my entire life. The house was a former daycare and has a very odd layout. Exit signs with flood lights above the door, and a lot of random open areas. I just, I would hate living there. It's like a counter strike map.

Turn an old daycare center into a house? I mean, to be fair, a lot of daycares used to just be fucking houses. At least in LA. At least in LA. Take down the exit signs, man. Yeah. I was around 14 or 15 when we moved in,

had my own bedroom for the first time in my life, and was enrolled in the most Southern country school that you can imagine. Literally the lowest graded public school in Texas. Damn. So sad, dude. Imagine, imagine being in school and like Googling that shit,

and being like, aw. When we moved in, my brother and his small family, parentheses, wife, son, and daughter, confirmed small family, moved in with us. Due to financial issues on their part, it was to help build up good credit. You don't need to justify this.

We're all millennials here. Hell yeah. Well, Jesse's kind of a millennial. He's there. Whoa. We're in the cut. We're in the cut. I am still a millennial.

By one year. But I'm in there. I mean, all right. I work a lot in marketing. I'm just saying. My father will also suffer a crippling injury at work, and be disabled a couple years after moving in, causing more issues.

The first few years were fun, coming home from school, playing games with my brother, teaching my nephew how to play and join us. You'll have to see it. With an education from the lowest grade at school in Texas, I'm not sure how well you were teaching your nephew. You've got to mix it up. You've got to use brain quests.

Do you know what I'm talking about? Yeah. Or that cereal from the dinosaur movie. Anyway, everything seemed normal, albeit with some high tension moments. Sounds like life. As to be expected with seven people sharing a house, we had our share of fights.

Well, my nephew was old enough to talk coherently, and my niece was learning her words. They began to wake up in the night, screaming and crying. My sister-in-law was there to take care of them while my brother worked the night shift at his job. With my parents becoming annoyed at being woken by crying almost every night, my sister-in-law told us that they were having nightmares.

My nephew said that there was a person watching them from the open door. No, thank you. He did not like to talk about it very much, so I was asked to play some games with him and try to get some details. This is like the mission you don't want to be on, by the way. This is like this.

This mission is like the inciting incident of like a Japanese horror movie remake. This is the opening incident to a video game where like you're not the protagonist right now, you're just watching the haunting come to life. This is where you can tell you that the dam's on your neck when you're in the shower, yeah. Yep, look.

All 18 children were burned to death in this daycare three years ago. Like some shit like that is about to happen. We got a hell of a deal on it. Yeah. He looked up to me at the time and wanted to be like me. And I am told that he still does. I bet you that feels good. I wish I had that.

Anyway, moving on. I eventually got a brief description after many random games. No eyes, black like a shadow, and moves on all fours like a dog. Unexpected didn't like that last detail very much. Nope. Yeah.

There was also aggression from my dad to my brother, saying that he was being too loud when he was awake at night or going to work. I did not ever notice any loud sounds at night and was only ever woken up by crying children. During summer, I got into the habit of staying up late and hanging out with friends digitally. I know that fine.

It was at this time that I did notice some sounds. A bump of a wall or a loud step. Though what my dad got wrong was that he heard it in the hall. I heard it from the attic door, which is in the hall ceiling. It was poorly constructed up there and had two families worth of belongings. So falling objects is not out of the question. Is this about to get real?

Is this about to get fucking real? This continued for many years with my niece saying that she was scared of the dark man watching her. It increased in intensity with them freaking out individually in separate rooms, independently of each other, even during the day. Our German shepherds would guard them ferociously and growl at doorways from time to time.

In time, my brother and his family moved out and all seemed and it all seemed to come to an end. So they just, the kids just left and so that's why it ended. Yeah, the family just ended up leaving and it just ended up ending at that point. But yeah, I don't like that. Years later, my sister, still living with us, had a daughter. She is six now.

Last year, she began to draw pictures. Uh-oh. Yeah, I know where this is going. Standard flowers, suns, fields, etc. When she was asked to draw me, she drew me, she drew me, but with an extra. There was a tall, long-limbed figure, all black, with no eyes just behind me.

She would draw pictures of this figure that I at first thought was Slender Man, though a five-year-old who has not seen YouTube yet would not know that yet. She always slipped them under my door for me. Oh, like that. Nope, nope, nope. This is like being in your own Japanese horror movie.

When I asked why, she said it was because he was always watching me and following me, that he crawled from the attic and into my bedroom, and that he watched me from the cracks of doors. Okay. Oh, God. I put this aside for a while because kids are creepy anyway, very true,

but maybe my other niece and nephew had told her. But when I brought this story up to friends, they said that was the scariest thing they had ever heard. One friend who was much smarter than myself pointed out that my brother's family had been gone for years and had almost no interaction with my niece, aside from the age of zero to one. So she would not have had the same details

that they did so long ago. Now I live with this attic man behind my shoulder, I guess. This inspired me to write a short story in a horror compilation, parentheses, Fever Dreams, based on the experience called Attic Man, based on where he crawls from. Yeah, I got it. Although I don't believe that there is some kind of ghost

or demon following me around, everyone else seems very unsettled that three of these children plus one of their friends all say that there is a dark shadow man that crawls around this house. Honestly, I'm with them. Yeah, I'm good. I'll be real.

I was, as you're reading, I scroll back up and I was like, what is this called? Attic Man. I was really hoping that it would be like, yes, they moved out and it still kept happening. And we discovered there was a man living in our attic. I was ready for that. I thought it might go that way too.

I read some news story about like, these cops were like driving by a house that they thought they like responded to a call like of something like this. And then as they were driving away out of the town, they like looked back and saw into the attic window and saw like a person in there. And they were like, oh, God.

The image of this shadow man crawling out of the attic into the bedroom also awful. Not a fan. I love it. I love a good crawling ghosty. It's great. Yeah, it's the creepiest ones where they just move in inhuman ways.

Yeah. All right, we got two more stories. This next one is an alien one and then the drug one. This is just simply called unidentified flying wingman by 4D gluten free. I hope this one ends in some episode 69. I could have used it and identified flying wingman when I was younger.

That's what I'm saying. I know, I know. He prayed every day to Satan for a UFW. This is my second story that he's posted here. First being about his experience with night terrors back when he lives in an old basement. But today he'll be talking about his UFO experience when he was living as a young adult living

in a military barracks. This was during a time I was coping with being new to the Air Force and didn't have many close friends. I joined right out of high school and honestly hated every second I did. Different life path. I wish I could understand that. Yeah, I know.

I bet a lot of people were. My parents nudged me this close to joining the army at high school. I'm so glad I didn't do it. Anyways, into summarize the leading up to the encounter. Me and this girl were hanging out at the smoke pit between our dormitory buildings and because we were getting flirty

and one more personal conversation, she brought me up to the roof of the dorm so we could watch the stars together and talk. Dude, I like where this story is going already. Is that creepy? No, I'm fine. We're good. No, not yet.

No, not this is there. I don't know. They're in the military barracks. They're in the military. They're 18. It's not creepy. Yeah, exactly. Okay.

Love, baby. As if someone watched this like a porn then. Exactly. Thank you. So as it's somewhere between 12 and 2 a.m., the stars were in as full effect as they can be in the city. And as we're laying down on the roof, I see these lights that don't look like stars.

She stopped talking mid-sentence to point them out and I tell her I already noticed. We watched for a while and they seem to be moving as an airplane does. But it's close enough to the ground that we can make out a triangular shape and the lights seem to be somewhat wavy. At least that's how we describe them at the time.

We're at an AETC base, meaning the mission is to train as opposed to a mobility or special forces base, for example. And they've never sent off anything other than a helicopter or transport plane. The local airport is small and would not have had a plane this large or in this shape. The lights made me guess to be around 50 to 60 degree angle pointing

and traveling eastward along the coast, not directly over the base. And it was either huge or far away or so close that it couldn't be another airplane from another airport. There was no sound and it soon dipped out of view behind a layer of clouds in the east.

We watched for what felt like in half an hour, but I think it was close to two minutes. To be honest, we weren't sitting there in awe. We were yelling, it's a freaking alien. What the hell? Oh my God. Most of you are part of the story, to be honest. I would have been doing the same thing. The whole experience was trippy to say the least.

It sparked a whole conversation about aliens and abductions and we went to watch a documentary about UFO sightings and we just kind of rode off that high for the rest of the night. She's still ghosted me a week later though. She was a ghost? She was a ghost? What a twist. Regardless, the best way I'd describe it after I looked it up

was similar to the black triangle in shape, but the lights don't fit their MO. No other reported sightings at night either. I've looked it up many times. I don't want to say where for safety's sake because I'm still stationed here and I'm probably not leaving anytime soon. But let me know what y'all think.

That's the end of that story. I thought it was cool because it's a typical, if it's not like it was making no noise, if it was, you couldn't tell how close it was, but if it was close and it was large, a large triangle-shaped UFO that makes no noise, that's very typical. But it also could have been,

I mean, who knows what it could have been. I love the story just aesthetically. Yes, but unfortunately for him, the wingman effect didn't really take off as she ghosted him. That's for sure. It did not help. It did not help. All right, this is the last one of the night.

We've expressed permission from the writer to laugh at this one. This is the drug trip one. And this is simply titled, let me get the title for you correct here. I gotta scroll back to where it is. It's simply called First Time Taking Edibles by Garbage Awoo. You know it's good by that name.

This one is, let's do this. I literally accidentally scrolled to the bottom of the document. I'm dumb. Okay, here we go. Nope, I lost it again. I'm editing this part out. Don't worry, boys. There it is.

Too late. Okay. I get home later that day. And after a bit of winding down, my roommate, which I'll call B for the story, and I decided we should take some edibles that we had gotten. Is there a start to this? Or is this how it starts?

The only thing you need to know is they're 19 in the story. They live with a roommate- Wait, but you can't start a story with- So I get home later in the day. What happened before that? There isn't anything. They were out for the day and they ended up buying some edibles

that they planned on taking later. Okay, gotcha. Build up the story. They're 19 years old and they live in their own place. All right, gotcha. So they get home after winding down with their roommate and they decided it was time to take the edibles they had recently bought.

We just say fuck it and take them home. With these like candies or chocolate or what are we talking about here? No details. I don't know what kind of edibles we have here. Just the edibles, but they took them both at the same time. Okay. Obviously, nothing happens at first.

So I start showing her how to play the new cod since it was relatively new and she wanted to play with the guy she knew. This is the dream. This is the dream so far. So far it's great. That's what I always thought would happen one day. Only one day.

So I started showing her cod. She was like, I've always wanted to play with the boys. She was like, I'm so into this. You're so hot, dude. You wanted a cod. It took maybe 10 minutes for us to feel all tingly and giggly, which I was used to and knew was normal. I remember I was playing gunfight

when I saw a guy peek around the corner of an obstacle and I didn't react until he shot me and the kill cam came on. That's when I finally pressed the trigger to shoot. So I figured it was time to put the game down and move on. So now we're sat there giggling in the living room but that's when I took a turn for the worst. Oh no.

Things started slowing down, lagging pretty much. We talking about cod or are we talking about IRL? IRL. Okay. Things started lagging IRL. Okay. So if someone was walking towards me, they would have three or four of them

walking behind them in the same pattern. What, the $6 million man? This freaked me out a bit and made me uncomfortable but I just figured I was too high and waved it off. My vision started to become fucked up and it felt like I was in a movie theater with my eyes. It felt like I was in a movie theater and my eyes were the screen.

So the depth of everything was fucked like I was watching a film of the stuff happening in front of me. I'll read that again and hopefully this will make sense. My vision started to become fucked up and it felt like I was in a movie theater and my eyes were the screen. So the depth of everything was fucked like I was watching a film of the stuff happening in front of me.

What does this mean? I felt like I was in a movie theater and my eyes were the screen. Were the screen. You're sat in there, cup of popcorn in your lap while your eyes continue outwards like a old school big screen TV and the picture is projected upside down and backwards

onto your own eyeballs so that you can see it. It's easy to understand. Yeah, I don't understand, Jesse. How's this now? Have you never done an edible before? I have never. Mind second. I have never ever explained.

I have never gone that high. If this has never happened to you, you have never done drugs. I'm just kidding. I've never gone that high where I've been like and then space in time revealed themselves before me and I saw the infinite void for what it was. Don't worry, boys.

This Instagram filter has an ending and a twist. So while their eyes are the screen while they're in the movie theater. Got it, got it. The colors became painstakingly vibrant and sound started to slightly echo and it made me severely uncomfortable. Painstakingly vibrant is not afraid.

Maybe when you're this high it is. Maybe when you're this stone. It was so vibrant that whoever made it took so much care. Took the time to do it. Making it vibrant. That I appreciated that effort. Maybe that's how it feels when you're this stone. When your eyes are movie theater, anything's fucking possible, bro.

Maybe they just got stoned and put on the Oculus Quest for the first time. Dude, I'm just saying. That's what it was. Painstakingly vibrant, dude. So the sound started to slightly echo. It made me severely uncomfortable and to avoid a panic attack.

I told my roommate I didn't like this anymore. She understands what I meant and looked at me dead in my scared eyes and said, we should go lay in your bed. Now, something you should know is at the time she was FaceTiming somebody that she knew. A man that was her boss. No, I want him out of the story.

Get out of here. Wait, hold on. During this event or just in general? At some point after they were done playing video games and they were hanging out chilling, she apparently, her roommate called their 27-year-old boss from the store that they worked on. It was just hanging out with them.

It was just hanging out with them FaceTiming. Beginner weed tip, okay? There's a few of them. Don't call your boss. Don't fucking do edibles and call your boss, especially not with a face cam. What the fuck? Well, this guy seemed pretty chill.

I'm not going to lie. So let me say that again. So they became painstaking, got uncomfortable, said we should go lay in your bed. And the man that she was FaceTiming on the phone with voiced an agreement, yeah, that might be a good idea. Nice.

I nodded, but we still sat there for a couple minutes longer. I was trying to calm myself down. Because the sexual tension obviously, right, right. Yeah, I was trying to calm myself down. When B, my roommate, once again caught my eye and repeated, we should go lay in your bed in the exact same tone, the exact same way with the exact same movements. Then the man on the phone in the same tone and same cadence

and agreed, saying, yeah, that might be a good idea. The audacity of this fucking guy on the phone. That guy is the unidentified flying wingman. That's the guy. Yeah, he really is. Oh, yeah, that sounds great. This freaked me out because it was like deja vu, which made me want to cry.

I asked her, terrified, what did you say? But I don't think she heard me. I shook my head trying to knock myself out of it and work on my breathing. But moments later, B looked at me. Automatically, I faced her and she said, we should go lay in your bed. On cue, the man on the phone agreed, saying,

yeah, that might be a good idea. What the fuck? And as if it wasn't in control of my own words, I once again, in the exact same mouse of a whimper, stutter out, what did you say? Absolutely sickened by the broken record of a scene that kept playing out in front of me, making me feel trapped.

The horror is not apparent here. I want to be clear. So it just keeps repeating over and over. And now this person's getting scared. Absolutely sickened by the broken record of a scene that kept playing in front of me, making me feel trapped like I was stuck in the exact same moment in time in a never-ending loop.

I sat there on the verge of tears. I tried to convince myself it's all in my head that I'm not stuck and that I'm just thinking things are being repeated. That's when it happened again. She looked at me straight in the eyes and I prayed to a God I don't believe in that she wouldn't say,

but wouldn't say it, but she did. We should go lay in your bed. Then the man, yeah, that would be a good idea. And then I whimper, what did you just say? It was out of my mouth before I could even process it. The feeling of impending doom dwelled on me as I thought about a future where this shit looped was my life forever

as some sort of hell. David After Dentist, part two. I acted without thinking and slapped myself to make some sort of drastic difference in the timeline, then screamed for it to stop. I covered my ears and buried my head and my knees. With the colors moving around me and the echoing and repeating, it was all too much for me to bear.

Hedipals? I thought for sure I was going insane. Marijuana. Hedipal marijuana. David I know, I'm starting to worry that maybe like, is this one of those like, I also take this medication as well? Is this like one of those stories? David There's a twist to the end.

This is a twist to all this. Hedipal Okay. David Finally came over to me and picked me up off the ground. Hedipal What? David The next thing I remember is being in my bed. I was sitting there trying to calm down. I knew I was just too high and just needed to sleep it off. B left my room to get me food and I was sitting there blinking the whole time

because if I didn't, my vision would sink back into my head and it felt like I was looking out a window. That's when the fucking voices started. Hedipal What? David I don't know if it was my own thoughts or actually something else, but they kept telling me I was gonna die. I started humming to block it out and I'm sure I was like, I looked like an insane asylum patient sitting on my bed

rocking myself while humming and blinking. Hedipal What? My roommate walked in which got me to stop and focus on her, but in the dark doorway behind her something caught my attention. It was just past her shoulder. I could see eyes, not red glowing eyes, but just human white and vainly and vainly, uh, vainly eyes rather, not vainly,

vainly eyes staring back at me. Of course I fucking screamed. I mean, what the fuck? Who wouldn't? I grabbed my bat that's next to my bed. Yes, I have a bat. B gave, gave our apartment key to a dude from Tinder and I got a bat because of it and I hugged it for dear life.

Dude. B ran over, we'll go ahead, sorry. I'm just like, this has to be like fucking mushrooms or PCP or some shit. B ran over to me and started telling me it was just her and she wasn't here to harm me. I knew it was her, but she didn't realize it was, that what was behind her that scared me. It looked at the, at the open door into the dark hall again

and they were gone. But the more I stared at it, it felt like I was getting sucked into it and pulled out because of my weird vision that was happening. It's like in the movies when they zoom in while pulling back to the camera. It was like that, but it was me in the black void. I know exactly, yeah, I know exactly what you mean.

Yeah, uh, I snapped out of it when B ripped the bat away from me, startling me, which I'm grateful for because I don't know what would have happened if I was sucked into that void. There was no void, bro. I told her to shut the door and she did. She then handed me a box of Cheerios and I stuffed them into my mouth.

This is like a comic book. There's times passes between sentences. My thought process was that if I ate more stuff, it would soak up the weed into the food like alcohol. Kind of works. Don't judge me. I was desperate and fucking high. I don't, kind of works.

After a bit, she was about to leave as I continued to rock myself back and forth on my bed, blinking and humming. She told me to lay down and sleep and it all be over soon. Somehow her echoing words processed in my brain and it curled up in the corner of my bed, facing the wall and closed my eyes.

For some reason, the colors still vibrated in the back of my eyelids. So I kept them opening. I kept them staring at the wall, still blinking. This is not marijuana. This is there's no way you did acid, bro. There's no way these are weed edibles. Man, come on.

No, false, false. She left and she turned off the lights. At first I was like, fuck it. I'll stay blinking and humming till I passed out. But then it was like I felt the chemicals moving and pulsating in my brain. So in order to nullify it, I tried to disassociate. I once again thought I was going insane.

So I laid there crying, hoping for the best, zoning out, zones out of out of trying to get zoned out to fuck trying to get to my happy place the place I go when I panic. I then noticed I would be holding my breath and my chest get heavy like something was pushing on it. I zoned back in to my senses and they kicked back up. I felt the chemicals rushing in my brain

and I thought I was going to have a damn aneurysm. But then I noticed a black static looking thing come out of the wall in front of me. What the fuck? He covered my mouth and my nose and another one went through my chest. Wait, did I thought I had strong weed? You got that calisthenic shit.

I think I just like, I don't even know where the boundaries are anymore. Maybe you just need to take a tolerance break and this is like the shit you'll feel. No, there's no, there's no way this is weed. I've never been anywhere like this. Neither have I. I sat up, which didn't do shit from a head or vision

and I started panting. I would be traumatized by this. Yes, well, you know, they do, they didn't get traumatized by this experience. I don't, I don't doubt it. I think it was one of those things where you're half asleep but also awake so your dream or imagination slips into real life.

But either way, I was fed up, I was full on hyperventilating and I yelled for B. She came in letting demons come in with her and turned on the lights and I screamed at her to call the cops. What? Of course, like the great friend she is, she didn't. She took me into bed and gave me one of my stuffed animals

and laid next to me to sleep. I kept begging for her to call for help as I generally thought I was going to die whether it was from forgetting to breathe to having my heart just stop from panicking or my brain just popped because of all that chemicals that were rushing through it. And that felt like it was about to happen at any moment.

Finally, I gave up and just laid back in my position, just laid back in my in a position, this time with a pillow blocking the wall. I laid there with my eyes open and zoned in. Colors still blaring, noises still echoing, vision still fucked. How much time has passed? It doesn't sound like much time has passed,

but I don't think they know. Yeah. And if I laid there too long, and if I laid there for too long and moving, the walls and bed would start melting, peeling away to reveal horrid images that I barely remember behind it. I think I suppressed some of the images in demons

or I'm just forgetful, I don't know. But I still had the occasional voice telling me I was going to die. Can you imagine laying there and your walls and bed melting to reveal demons behind them? No, no. Like obviously not on pop, but just on anything. Alex, any of the drugs and adjesse that you guys have done in your life, I've only done weed.

Have any of them given you like potential melting walls and visions of demons? Yes, but much more psychedelic, much more psychedelic drugs than pop. Whoa, what was this? Like shrooms and stuff like that can can can cause dissociative hallucinations. I've never, I've never said I've never done shrooms.

I couldn't tell you. There you go. I have thought I was in a different reality before, like that happened. Oh yeah, I thought it was an equation like this morning. I was just chilling there thinking about math, dude. Yeah, you broke yourself down and realized you were the result of an equation.

Yeah, I never, I've never like. Typical weed stuff. I have been given acid and that was a weird trip. Like I thought I was in my own bed and wasn't in my own bed. Acid is real. Yeah, like that was and I'll never do that again. That was like, no, I'm done with this.

But weed, the only thing that's ever happened is where I've been like, my body feels fuzzy and I feel like I'm kind of outside of it a little bit. Like that's the extent of that. I've never been like, I am the universe and the universe has never happened. This sounds like, like the type of drug that you can only get from like a doctor.

Like this sounds. Yes. Well, the vision is going to get even more fun. This is, there's no, there had to be a drug interaction. Like there's something else you would take in that day that mess you up. No spoilers, boys, not till the end. I laid there suffering until I felt my skin getting itchy.

I looked down and saw tiny bugs, bug beings tearing at my skin. Bug beings? Not bugs, bug beings. Tiny bug beings. I tried to tell myself it wasn't real. I tried to ignore them, but I couldn't. The pain of having my skin peeled was too real and I yelled to be to call someone.

Meth. This is meth. Be out there, be in a hero. This is the hero right now. Shout to be the one true OTP. She finally did call someone. The one true parent. Oh no.

Be then laid next to me and kept telling me things that were real. Louie, her dog was real. She was real. The bed was real. You don't know that. You don't know that. So you can't be saying that when you're in the middle

of a bad trip though. You can't be like, maybe the bed is real. You don't know bees real, dude. You don't know that. This could be a ghost trying to kill you, brother. You should be better watching out. I might be watching out. I might be your own hands.

You might. Don't choke me, bro. Don't choke me to death. I continue to lay there. What if we all just got naked? No secrets. No secrets, bro. No secrets among friends here, boys.

Tell me everything, buddy. I laid there as colors vibrated in this world. Walls melted to reveal literal hell. The echoing came as if you pressed two phones together while in the line with one another, letting you only vague words reach my ears. This is just poetry now. This is just slam poetry.

I know. It actually really got kind of beautiful. That kind of horror beautiful. And demons danced on my skin. What? I couldn't take it anymore. It was too much. I didn't trust closing my eyes

because the images in my head were worse than out. Finally, it all became too much and I puked the Cheerios out of my system. I forced myself to roll on my side as to not choke. I could feel the taste of sweet cereal, but it looked like gray goop in my vision. Sweet cereal. It's the taste of sweet, sweet cereal.

But alas, goop. It was only gray. My mother then showed up and was looking things up on her phone. She saw that weed couldn't kill you so no matter how much I begged, she didn't call anyone. Also note, this was during quarantine. So if she did, they would have had to do

a bunch of COVID procedures before had any, before anyways, plus there's not much they could do for my weed. My mother then laid next to me, rubbing my back as I cried for help. Oh my God. My eyes closed as to stop the melting of the room and deciding despite the images in my head,

if I kept my eyes closed, I'll eventually fall asleep. When my mom showed up, I would be fucking freaking out. That's like the last person I would want to see. Well, it gets better because then they begin to feel themselves melt away. Quite literally. Quite literally.

As if my skin was melting off of my bones. Quite literally is not the phrase. Yeah. Are you the senator from X-Men? No, but that's what they said. Quite literally, in fact. They said, I felt myself melting away, quite literally, in fact.

That's not unless you were melting. That's not melting. Did you melt off your own bones? Were you actually melting from your bones? It was painstakingly literal. I had to constantly move or grip myself to keep myself together. At the time, I thought my eyes being closed

would be for the better, but if it only made it worse, that's right. I'm not even close to done. I started feeling like my teeth were falling out and I clenched them to keep them in. I don't know how long I stayed in this position, curled up trying to keep my skin from melting and my teeth clenched.

Four days. Laying in my own puke, but eventually it started to float out of my body. I could see myself laying next to my mother as if I was a ghost and I truly thought I had died. I'm never smoking weed again. I may have too much. I may have too, but I'm not sure.

But this scared the ever-living hell out of me so I screamed what shot me back down into my body and I sat up screaming. I opened my eyes and in the dark, I saw all types of humanoid figures around me again, with human eyes just staring at me. Some in the shadows, some scraping at the windows by my bed.

But my mother sat up to look at me and I saw her, but not her eyes. I screamed again and shoved my face back into my pillow and stuffed in the stuffed animal I had by my side. I'm not sure what my mother did as all I could hear was infinite echoes, but I did feel a hand on my back. I laid there sobbing, begging for help

when the fatigue finally hit. Soon enough, it felt like I was being picked apart, particle by particle, and being drifted away. It's what I imagine it to be like when Thanos snapped. I didn't dare open my eyes for fear of what I would see as I felt myself disappearing. I once again begged for help, but I didn't come and that's when I decided I was better off dead.

I let myself disintegrate, telling my mom I loved her as I slipped away into nothingness. What the fuck? I wish this is how it ended, but boy... What happened? Stop! You can't just say I wish this is how it ended! I wish how this is how it ended, but boy, do I have a bit to go.

This is the part that reminded me so much of the latest video and made me want to tell my story, even if no one reads it since it's so long. I disintegrated, piece by piece, until I was just a conscious. Just a mind and a void of nothing. I didn't know anything. I didn't know about existence. I didn't know who I was, or what I was,

or even had the conscious thought to think about those questions. How do you know? Holy shit, what do you mean? And I was just... What do you think this says? How do you look back on this? This sounds like ego death, doesn't it? Yeah.

Yeah, it sounds like you have an ego death. It sounds like you went to the jungles of South America and took some fucking ayahuasca and lost your own mind. You took some fucking frog shit and just like ran away. I was just a thing in a void. No purpose, no thought, no feelings. To be honest, it was nice.

What? Okay, I really just want to know, like follow up question to this author. What do you think of when you think of this time? How do you experience this memory? I just want to like... I want it to be laid out to me. I don't know, man.

How could you have none of those things and be like, this was nice? I don't know. What concept of yourself do you have to decide that it's nice? Maybe, I don't know, man, there's a... You know, the silence could probably be nice for a little bit. You know what? It's like that joint in Star Wars who was like,

finally some peace. And it was just floating in space. The Alan Rickman droid? Yes, the Alan Rickman droid who just wanted to be left alone floating in space. Yeah. Exactly. Now, I remember it was cold, but I didn't have a word to describe it.

I'm not saying I forgot all these things. I'm saying they simply didn't exist to me. After a bit of this, I suddenly got the realization that I was something. And it felt like it was constantly at the tip of my tongue, but I couldn't figure it out. So I thought harder, trying to come up with something, anything. Did he recreate his own body?

We'll find out. I remembered lines, and then how those lines would make shapes. I got memories back and would replay them in my head, but use shapes to play them out. I don't remember what the memories were, how I even played them out in my head with fucking shapes, but that's what I did. You invented fucking PS1 is what you did.

I then reconnected myself to one of those shapes and replayed memories in the first person, but again, using fucked up lines in a general and vague way that was apparently shapes. So like the Vectrex. I'm imagining now like super hot. Yeah, I'm talking a little super hotty. Yeah, yeah.

Soon after a soon after I added color, no shading, no details, just basic color to the weird outlines. I continued to ladder adding more shapes and more colors until for some reason I remembered what legs and arms were. I still had no idea about people or things or anything. All I knew were shapes, colors, and for some reason legs and arms.

So we're talking about rectangles with human legs and arms walking around? Yeah, like weird amorphous like shapes with lines. Here I was just a weird colored shape with arms and legs. Like a Tetris block with arms and legs? What? Like a Tetris block, but with arms and legs. Yeah, like a Tetris block with arms and legs.

It's like the L shape, probably. This is wildly out. Yeah, here I was just a weird colored shape with arms and legs or playing memories of other colored shapes with arms and legs. More things appeared as if my mind was being unraveled layer by layer. I then realized that what I was looking at

was no longer memories. It was real time. I still had my eyes closed and not much memories, but I came to realize I was a thing. I didn't know what that thing was or what I looked like, but I knew I was a thing. I knew I felt, I knew I felt something was touching me as I was starting to get my senses back.

Is the time that he wakes up as a baby cave rat? I'm running you from a cage. I was captured. Please send help. I moved a bit and it triggered a memory of how I was shaped. After that, I remembered what a human was and that I was one. I started to remember what I looked like. I had shortish hair.

I was tannish. I had strong legs from sports. I had freckles. Once I figured out that, once I figured out that out, I remembered who I was. I was a girl, half one race, half another. I love soccer, dogs. I missed my dog.

I clung onto the small memories, repeating them in my head. My birthday, what I like, what I hate, what I looked like. Finally, as if it was someone slapped me in the fucking face with a picture book, my memories came crashing back to me. Literal images of the night appeared in front of my eyes. Most of them I didn't even remember seeing. It was as if everything that had happened when my brain was self-destructing, finally processed.

Bee taking me back to my room, her giving me water, throwing up, throwing things. My mom coming in, screaming. It all slammed back into my mind at once. I instantly felt relieved. I knew it was finally over. I got up and took a bath to come myself. I had to keep reminding myself that everything was real

and I was safe. I went back to my room where my mom had already redone my sheets, bless her heart. And I fell asleep as she told me what a disappointment I was. Oh, what a good one. That's why you don't call your mom. Weird weed tip number two. Don't call your boss.

Don't call your mom. Those are the two tips. Unless your mom and your dad are also weed people. Even then. Because then they can tell you it might not be weed. Even then. Then they'll still be like disappointed. Even then.

Disappointed. You can't handle it, disappointed. You know what though? Oddly similar to the other story so far. It's all ego death, I think. It's all that break down of who you are. Get to the twist. Here we go.

The next day she drove me home because I was scared on my mind of everything. Scared the feeling would come back. I just wanted to be home. I talked to my dad about the experience and he said we had an at home drug test from when my brother was in high school and I should take it because he said

it didn't sound like that. That was weed that I took. That's what I'm talking about dad. Yeah. Yeah. Dad gets it. My father grew up in a not so good area as he and his family was a refuge.

They were refugees from Vietnam and had no money. Apparently he's done weed and coke. He also told me that it's okay and that everyone tries something now and again. Which I'm really thankful for since my mother said my. Yeah, good dad. Yeah, now and again. Yeah, as a snack, as a treat.

Yeah, as a little treat. Daily is a COVID mechanism during COVID, whatever. Yeah, whatever. Nobody's done that. Which I'm really thankful for since my mother said my brother and I were just a disappointment and were ruining our lives. Not something I want to hear after seeing demons

all night long. Anyway, I took the drug test and after 10 minutes of trying to figure out how it worked, it turns out that the edible I had was laced. It wasn't just weed. I had taken. The edible was laced with PCP. Boom!

There you go. There you go. That will do it. I at first didn't know what that was and my parents said it was just like a narcotic so I didn't think it was too bad. No, it was false. Until I looked it up and saw it was called Angel Dust.

The only way I know if Angel Dust is because of the Hasbin Hotel. I don't know what that is. I do because I'm from the internet. Hasbin Hotel is an animated series about hell and one of the characters is I believe named Angel and is like a druggy demon slash horror. Yikes.

Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. I looked more into it and apparently not even the biggest druggies would touch it because of how bad that shit is. So yay me just for just going straight to the most fucked up drug available.

Can I I do have a question and maybe this is worth a follow up. Wherever you live and I assume this nation of ours is weed legal there because I would imagine if you bought it from like a dude that you know do you have a greater chance of it being laced with something rather than going to an actual store that actually sells it

that is licensed by the state to do so. Like I think a lot of people are like man legalizing weed that's terrible but so far it's only made it safer for people. Yeah. You know this and this is the natural segue that I've been waiting for to pitch you guys the actual Boston baked bean boy legalized weed shirt.

Let's let's do it. 100% in. I'm let's do it dude. So before we say goodbye I did leave this out because I think it would have put you guys on the trail of what was going on even though you kind of figured out something was up anyway. So you might be wondering where they got the edibles.

So I don't think where they live is legal for this simple fact. I'll call you guys some guy named like Tony Jay. Some guy that lives down the street. Some guy that lives down the street. No. Yes. Remember how I told them they were on the phone

with their manager? They got it from the manager? There was so. There was absolutely no boundaries with management and employees. Our assistant general manager was a 27 year old vegan skinny man and he was constantly on something mushroom, acid, coke, you name it, he did it.

It makes it so much easier to be a skinny man. He was also our supply. Well, there's your problem. That's where they got. That's where they got their edibles from there. They're vegan, skinny, druggy. I will admit, there's something really funny about how if this was a movie or something,

the whole scene where they're sitting on the couch and she looks at her friend and she's like, she's like, B, I'm freaking out. And B is just like, we should go lie down in your bed. And then you hear the guy go, yeah, you should go do that. And then what did you say? And then have that repeating over and over again and being like overwhelming.

Like, what would you say? And then cut to the outside shot. And it's them just like sitting on the couch like, what did you say? What's that? And then her turning and being like, we should go lie on your bed. Yeah, you guys should do that.

What did you say? We should go lie on your bed. Yeah, you guys should do that. What did you say? Like it is repeating over and over again. I can imagine that being very funny. The dude on the phone is so much creepier now knowing that he's like this like drug hookup vegan dude.

Who's like, you should like, hell yeah, you should go lie down guys. He probably thought he was going to get a fucking show. Here's the thing. I thought we were going to get a show. So, you know, am I a creep? No, I'm an avid fan of shows. You're an active reader.

You know what I mean? You're participating in the story. Yeah, I'm no creep. I just thought, you know, who knows what the story is going to go on open to anything. Oh, that's it. There, our drug listeners are experiencing realities beyond our very own.

I hope you all enjoyed your Halloween. Thank you so much for listening to us on this Halloween special. Be, or rather, enjoy your Halloween. I know it's in a few days. Be safe. Be if you're out there. Continue being a good friend. You're doing it.

You're doing the Lord's work. Yeah, cheese. Be, be, be. Maybe don't bring over random Tinder boys and give them the key to the apartment right away. Don't do that. Don't do that. I like that.

We're going to go record our after show or our mini-sode. And then next week will be the finale of Robert Irwin. We love you guys. You can go and reach us at all the socials. Twitter is chilluminati pod. Honestly, the big thing right now, hey, those Mothman t-shirts, they're going to be gone.

They're limited edition. They're going to be gone in the 28th of October. So by the time you're listening to this, you've got like two days left. Once they're gone, they're gone. You may see the art return in a different form a couple of days later, but not grab the shirts while you can. The shirts are going to be going away.

And then we'll have a brand new cryptid collectible art t-shirt going and taking its place soon once that art is finished up. So go check that out. It's a Yeti.com slash collection slash Illuminati. We're off. We love you. Goodbye. Bye.

Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night enjoying ourselves. I needed to go to the bathroom. So I stepped back inside. And after a few moments, I hear my wife go, holy shit, get out here. So I quickly dash back outside. She's looking up at the sky in the fall.

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