Chilluminati Podcast - Episode 87 - The House of Infinite Rooms

Episode Date: February 2, 2021

Patreon - http://www.patreon.com/chilluminatipod BUY OUR MERCH - http://www.theyetee.com/collections/chilluminati Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/ThatOneLazerClown Art Commissioned by - http://www.mollyheadycarroll.com Theme - Matt Proft End song - POWER FAILURE - https://soundcloud.com/powerfailure Video - http://www.twitter.com/digitalmuppet

Do you feel like you need more adventure in your life? You're probably right. At Motorsportsland RV Centers, we've been helping people just like you experience outdoor adventures for over 55 years. You might be looking to visit the many national parks around Utah or travel the country. You might need a hunting lodge or just an easy way

to stay on that piece of property you own. Whatever your needs are, we're here to help. Come visit a Motorsportsland RV Center or motorsportsland.com today and let Motorsportsland help you get away. Hello, everybody, and welcome back to the Chilluminati Podcast, Episode 87. As always, I'm one of your hosts,

Mike Maren, drumming my two co-hosts, Alex Fosiani and Jesse Cox. Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho. A little easy top for you guys. You guys remember that? Yeah, oh, yeah. I just want to know why. She's got legs.

She knows how to use them. Oh, ho, ho, ho. It's just a good intro, you know, for anyone. That is the only kind of music I listen to exclusively for like a straight decade. AdRock, classic rock. You ever see them walk on stage with their sunglasses? They're all slow and they like walk over and like turn on

like a Tesla coil or some shit. And they're supposed to be like, whoa. I was like, really, they just flipped a switch? Yeah. Ha, ha, ha, ha. ZZ Top is weird. Hey, thanks for tuning in, everybody. Nice to have you here.

Hang on, I know we got things to do, but now I'm curious, what's your favorite dad rock band? He will lose. You have one? He will lose in the news, no doubt in my mind. I'm a police kind of guy. Police? The police are on the edge.

They're kind of tight. They're kind of tight? They kind of have cred. I'm about to top all of you. The number one dad rock band, Steely Dan. That's it. Oh, man. That's it.

You literally just give me whiplash to 1998 as my dad's cleaning the house and he cleans the house. Dad rock. Steely Dan. Every Steely Dan CD. Yeah. You know what they call him Steely Dad because they call him Steely Dad

because the dads with Steely, the Steely Dan records. Steely Dad. That's what turned my dad into a Steely Dad. Steely Dan and Fish. Oh, and Fish. He was a Fish guy. Fish is like, you know what? Your friends are having kids too young bands.

That's what their dad rock band. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, oh, absolutely. My mom, when I, I'm her first, my mom was 20 and my dad was 22. Somebody with a name like of some sort of plant that like isn't a normal name. Right.

That isn't a normal name. Somebody's called like Eucalyptus. And that's your wife now and you're, and you listen to Fish. Like that's your life. You listen to Fish. Well, my mom was not a Fish person, just my dad. So, well, Alex, you got to segue this sucker, dude.

You want me to segue? Did you know that, wait, what happened here? My whole computer just freaked out. Uh-oh. Let's hope the audio is still recording. I mean, we see you. Yeah. No, we're okay.

We're okay. Give me, give me, give me one second here. How would you give me one second? You know, Chicago was another dad band. Oh man. You know, I'm almost ready to become dad band guy, but I also- You don't want to become an actual father

in the- Right, right, right, right. Where do you put the Eagles on that, on that, on the ranking? Very dad band. I don't, I don't know that I see the Eagles as a dad band. Okay. Okay, Joe Walsh.

Last time I saw the Eagles, first of all, was at the Staples Center. Second of all, Joe Walsh had a hard hat on with a camera on it, and he was walking around soloing and looking at the fans with the camera, and it was the Walsh cam on the walls. And if you don't, if you tell me that's not dad behavior, I don't know what is.

I mean, you're right, you're right. I feel like that fits into the sort of the Bruce Springsteen Van Morse, like that, like- Yeah, it's like your dad was alive during that band more than, yeah. But I mean, 100% Steely Dan is like the dad band. Yeah. No, you're hot.

It's the dad band. I think you age into it, and then you're given Steely Dan the Alps. This is like welcome to fatherhood. It's like the AARP card. I cannot believe you said it, and I was just, I was teleported back into the nineties, and I was like eight years old again.

Absolutely, yeah. And the list just goes on and on, and if you want the show to keep going on and on, please, head over to patreon.com slash Chilluminati pod, where you can become part of the excellent group of supporters that we have over there that are literally paying to keep the show, a weekly show as it is, and has been for a long time.

They don't listen to the show. They don't have to listen to the ads. Come on, imagine a world where you don't have to listen to the ads while you're trying to get radicalized to your new politics. I have to put an asterisk next to that. There's the, except for the ads where you're pimping or I'm pimping-

My ads. My ads are- Those get through. That's the most famous part of the show. Nobody's losing, don't worry. Just in case you were worried, these ads are going nowhere. The most famous part of this show

is when you advertise other shows you're on. This show, this show that I'm on now that I'm doing an ad for right now, this is the most popular part of this show, is an ad for this show, the Chilluminati pod. That guy is gonna message you to be like, it really was 10 minutes today. It really was.

The whole dad bands conversation, and I count that because it's not part of the episode. They do, I count it. That's my rule, sorry. But please guys, go over there. You got Mel's art, you got no ads, you got beautiful, like honestly, it's such a good feeling to be at the end of this show

and be like, it's at the end, and then you realize, oh no, I'm a patron. I have 50 freaking minisodes to listen to right now that I can just go listen to, and half of them I never even heard before. We're so far ahead on minisodes guys, you have no idea. You have no idea, the dearth. The dearth.

The dearth. What about the girth? The girth, the physical girth. You look at them all in a, imagine they were in some kind of crate together. The girth of that crate. Yeah, that's a girthy crate. That's a girthy crate.

Chilluminati pod. A girthy, a real girthy crate. We've already gotten, we've already seen the new t-shirt that they're gonna be getting as well. The t-shirt that everybody's gonna be able to buy soon. The Jeff shirt. Oh, it looks good. Jeff's awesome shirt.

Looks so good. Oh my God, it's so cool. Is that it? Is that it? And scene, all right. And scene, and scene, fantastic. Well done. And scene.

Well done. We have now gone through two pretty big multipartors of varying degrees of craziness and human amongst tragedy. Some of it's surprisingly factual and just wrong research. You know what I mean? It's exactly, and it was, and truly truly was. But now it's time for a palette cleanser. It's time to get off the crazy train

on both the Matt and the Alex side and read some listener stories that we've gotten accumulated over the past few months. So we didn't really like get off the crate. We like transferred, we transferred crazy trains. We're on the crazy subway now where we're not the conductors and we're just trying to get to our stuff

before we get drugged or something. We're somewhere new. We've never been here before. Yeah, the crazy underground. It's really exciting. It's when you get on the train and it's like one of the older ones that's like still there from this 80s

and you're like, oh, I'm on the dirty one. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. Another dad, another dad fan, dude. It's another dad fan. Ha ha ha ha ha ha. Are you doing? All right, I'm going to start the sucker off.

We'll open up. This is a story called That Isn't the Moon by Tihon1872. Once upon a time, I was the last Jedi of the order and I was hiding out on a desert. My mind went the same place. All right, here we go. This all happened about three days ago.

Well, this post is like, I think like a couple of weeks old. So this is like a couple of weeks ago now. Already starting off with lies. Starting with lies. This all happened three days ago. I've been losing so much sleep. It could have been two or even four days ago.

Regardless, whatever I saw was unexplainable, at least to me, but maybe you guys could help. On the day of the event, I was heading over to my grandmother's for dinner. I took the three hour long drive to New Mexico. Yep, the state with Roswell. It was my birthday and I turned 20. That's like a free bird of paranormal.

Jesse's glasses have just come off of his face and we're not even like a full paragraph in. I can't wait to see where this goes. I'm very excited. And maybe it goes nowhere. Maybe you won't even be all that excited. If this story goes, I got to my grandma's house and we ate a fine supper and I went home and yeah,

I just thought to myself, what if the moon wasn't a moon? Good night, everybody. If that's how the story would be like. You got me. But I know that's not where we're going. This is technically true. Therefore, good.

Therefore, good. It was my birthday. I turned 20 and I hadn't been able to see them in a while since I moved out of my parents. So it was nice to see them again. When I arrived, they gave me gifts. We chatted and played some board games. It was starting to get late and I was having a lot of fun.

And since I wasn't busy the next day, I asked to spend the night and have breakfast with them tomorrow morning. They happily agreed. As time went on and my belly was full, I decided I should get myself situated with my grandparents guest bedroom. I wanna let you know.

Tehan, is that who this is? Taihan. You saying to your grandparents, oh man, can I just stay here tonight? You blew their minds and made them so happy. They were like, oh, they were so, that was the happiest you've ever made them. Imagine your grandchildren staying with you

when there wasn't some sort of reason to do so. Oh shit, they're gonna kill us all today. Yeah, like. They were so thrilled. I decided I should get myself situated with my grandparents guest bedroom. It was very strange being back. The nostalgia was overwhelming.

It wasn't a good or bad feeling. I just recalled how quiet and empty the area my grandparents live can be. This probably sounds great to a lot of people, but to me, I remember it being kind of eerie. I feel like the quietness, especially as a kid, makes every small noise some kind of anomaly.

Luckily nowadays, I normally sleep to podcasts or let's read creepypastas, which normally help me sleep like a baby. I don't, you know. See, it's slowly turning you into a psychopath. Yeah, more power, do you? Reading creepypastas help you lull you into a sleep. No, it's not that, it's let's read.

So it's just someone being like, and the monster was in the room. Would you call it creepypasta ASMR? No, because I think it's just supposed to be, it's not like... And then it's just somebody dead inside reading a story off Reddit. Got you, got you, got you.

Or sometimes a fucking robot doing it, which think about that. That's not even a VTuber at that point. That's just like Microsoft's Alex or whatever it's called. This is a monetization flow I'm missing out on. I could just have robots reading Reddit posts. It really is. Oh my God.

That's dude. The videos that I watched to make episodes of this show, half of them are read by robots. Oh God, you are not kidding. And it's very creepy. It's like not, it's unsettling. They're like, and then that problem, and you're like, oh no.

What is the scariest thing that you've ever heard at your high school? Anyway, on with the story. As I was lying down looking for a creepypasta to listen to, I noticed a light come through the window. This wasn't too unusual as my grandparents home isn't that far from an airfield. But as the light became more beam-like and defined,

I thought to myself, is there someone outside with a flashlight? I was pretty spooked, especially since it seemed like something was trying to look inside the room I was in. And I remembered both my grandparents going to bed. I cautiously left the room and knocked on my grandparents door.

I explained someone was outside. My grandma and grandpa both grabbed their guns. Yup, I have those kinds of grandparents and walked to the front of the house, which is at the same side as the bedroom window. After a quick peek outside from the window, my grandparents went outside with me, closely following behind.

Soon as we got outside, it was clear. The moon looked very strange. It was colorless and had a weird tint to it. I pointed it out and after a once-over, my grandma's face went pale white. It was our all-white and wobbled like if the thing was made of plasma or jello. The moon or grandma's face?

I'm assuming the moon, I think it's just weird freezing. I have a feeling it's not gonna be the moon. No, God, all right. I was terrified, but that quickly triumphed by excitement. I quickly grabbed my phone to take a picture. As I was taking a picture, the orb let out a beam of light like a spotlight. My eyes slowly made it over my phone,

and I was paralyzed looking at the light. I felt like a helpless deer staring at some incoming headlights. That is until a gunshot pulled me out of the trance, the orb disappeared and just vanished. I looked over and realized my grandpa shot or at least tried to shoot the light. I'm not sure what would have happened

if my grandpa didn't shoot or what might have happened since we did. The next morning, I called my mom to let her know what happened, but it seemed like my grandparents already notified half the family. My grandparents are getting old physically and mentally. So when I told my mom the same thing

she heard from my grandparents, she became frustrated saying that I'm helping feed their delusions. But they aren't delusions. I've seen it with my own eyes. I'm not sure if air bases use weird drones like these or something else. So if anyone has any clue, please let me know.

And that was the end of the story. You know what? I love that story because it didn't end with like, I'm pretty sure it could have been aliens. Like it was just something weird happened. I don't know what it was. I told everyone and people didn't believe me, but like, that's it.

Period, end. Good story. Love it. Solid, scary story. It's a good start for the palate cleanser. Yeah, I agree. I did a lot. No complaints.

What do you think it was? Aliens. I mean, I don't know. Mostly because it's a thing that everyone was involved with. If it was like, I went outside and I saw this thing, it could be anything. But you know, there was a gunshot fired

and definitely give something. Yeah. I don't know how you can mistake a moon for a light though. That's interesting. Did you see, did I tell you I got sketched out by my PS5? No. Nope. I was like all dark in the room

and I like walked into my living room and I saw like this like light like cascading in this weird way. And it was like, because I couldn't see the direct light from the PlayStation five, but I was, I saw like the light on the fin. And it looked like there was like a creature

floating in the middle of my fucking living room and it scared the shit out of me because the PS5 is fucking seven feet tall and like stands on its own two feet. It's the biggest fucking machine in the world. And so I just wasn't like, it just seemed like it was floating in the middle of room. Scared the shit out of me.

I can see that. I can see it's scaring you. I don't think this one was the PS5 though. I think it might have been a little too high up, but I mean, the PS5 is very big. Very big. It is a hefty piece of machinery. I hear it's not well ventilated though, but who knows?

All right. I'm going to read this next paragraph and then the story lights over Lawrence is going to be for Alex. And then the one after that is going to be for Jesse. Okay. All right. So this is a setup to both stories

because the next two stories are from this one person scenario. This, this two sets of stories called- Is this an anthology of scary stories? Yes. He's, he's accounted quite a few paranormal things apparently. So I'm going to read-

Kathy Bates in American Horror Stories. Okay. Perfect. This is, this pair of stories is called Strange Lights and Modern Dragons. This is, this is anthology. That's, that is the name of a book you would buy. George R.R. Martin is on the phone. His lawyers are here.

He is mad. You know what? I want to preface this because I know it's kind of set up like an anthology and stuff like that. Like you're going to see it. It's actually relatively well written. It's really well written, but there is on attached as well the actual police report that they filed that comes along

with the second story. Like the actual photo- You're giving me the police report story? Oh man. There is going to be, I will give you the link to the police report after all of this for short. All right. So this is the preface to the, to this. So my love of cryptids and the paranormal began at a young age.

I already wrote about two of my earliest experiences in a previous story. I've returned to tell the tale of my final two paranormal experiences, which occurred when I was older, making them even more vivid in my memory. I grew up in the suburbs of Chicago, Illinois, where the first of my experiences happened. When I was 12, my parents and I moved to Livermore,

California due to my father getting a new job. The third weird thing I witnessed that I still cannot explain happened when I was probably 13 or 14 years old and a middle school student in the late 90s. That is the intro to lights over Lawrence Livermore laboratories. Okay. And in case you're wondering where Livermore is,

it's like a little bit east of Oakland, if that matters to anybody in their brain. Lights over Lawrence Livermore laboratories. California's seasons are all relatively the same. So I can't remember if it was summer or what, but that detail isn't really important. What I do remember is the time. It was evening, nearing dusk.

The sun still lit the sky in a blue-gray color with bits of pink as sunset began to fade. My bedroom was on the second floor at the front of the house. Faced the direction of where the Lawrence Livermore laboratories was located a few miles away. The main large window in my room was open as it almost always was.

We chose a new home, a new build home when we moved to the area. And for some reason, the duct work was messed up. So no air conditioning or heating reached my bedroom. My room was always at whatever temperature it was outside. Yeah, it was pretty annoying, but I got used to it. Yeah, I just live in an apartment from the 1930s and that's just how it is in here.

Yeah, it's rough. It's been like 45 degrees last couple of days too, which is not very LA, god damn. I walked to my window this one evening and something in the sky over the rooftops of the house has caught my attention. There were three lights in the sky in a loose V formation. At first I figured it was a plane.

The lights blinked a bit, so I didn't think too much of it, but I still continued to watch. Soon it occurred to me that the lights hadn't moved. They seemed to be hovering in the same place. That's when I began to think it was a little strange for the lights to be a plane. The lights should have been moving if that were the case. Just as that thought crossed my mind,

the three lights zipped off and disappeared. They moved so fast they left streaks of light in the sky in their wake. Sure, I thought it was weird, but as I'd seen a strange UFO earlier in my life, I honestly wasn't all that surprised. I want to just say that seeing something amazing twice usually doesn't just bemuse you to it.

It's actually interesting. It's actually kind of a common occurrence. Those who have a UFO encounters typically have them more than once in their life. Interesting. Interesting to think about. I wonder why. I wonder if they have a profile.

It's also generational. Yeah, I wonder if aliens have a profile. I always think about that. I wonder, yeah. I never spoke of it to anyone. I stored it in the float cool thing that happened in California section of my memory, and that was the end of it.

That's like my whole memory, guys. I was going to say, I was literally going to say, Alex, you must have such a huge wide part of your brain dedicated to that one thing. Everything I do is in there. Isn't that crazy? How could that happen? I do have evidence to back this one up, though.

On season three, episode two of the History Channel series, UFO Hunters. They talk about the lights over Livermore Labs during the late 90s, which is when I saw them. So I gathered that it must have been that same day. I saw the episode when it aired while I was on vacation with my parents, and I couldn't believe it.

It was the only time I had confirmation about a paranormal event that I personally witnessed. I can't get over how incredible that is. That would be insane. Yeah. That would be insane to have a private moment with a scary thing and then like, see a TV show about how everybody has that.

Isn't it? Yeah, that would be definitely like a, it kind of bring closure, I guess. Praying to Satan. I wish I had powers. I don't like, you know, I wish, I wish it worked. All right, Jesse, this next one, what, man? Listen.

All right, I mean, all right, sure. But more importantly, what was at Livermore Labs? Why is that important to the lore of aliens? Livermore Labs? Yeah, what was there? I think it was just to give a location as to where he saw them, but I don't... Like, you know, why labs?

Why not the city? Livermore, Lawrence Livermore National Laboratory is a federal research facility. Ooh. They do national security science and technology, premier research and development institution. Well, there you go. Principal responsibility is ensuring the safety,

security and reliability of the nation's nuclear weapons. Oh, oh my God. There you go. Wow, wow. This is like big shell, you guys, be careful. All right, Jesse, this next one, this next encounter by this person is also yours, is yours to read.

Interesting. All right, well, this one is, I assume much like pterodactyls. This is pterosaurs in Utah. That's how I read it too. The PT for those dino buffs out there. You're correct. In 2002, my parents and I moved to Utah County.

It was the summer after my sophomore year of high school. We bought a house about an hour south of Salt Lake City in a small town that has since grown quite a bit. At the time though, you had to drive to the town 20 minutes away to do most of your shopping. So much like the middle of the country where you go to like Walmart an hour away. If you think about it,

you walk about the same amount of time to get to the stores that are way closer to us. So it's evensies. And you get to park your car there. So think about that. It was during the drive home from one of these shopping trips that I saw what I can only describe as a dragon. It was a sunny afternoon, not too many clouds in the sky.

My mother and I were talking with her driving and me in the passenger seat. I remember noticing something out of the corner of my eye and turned to look out the driver's side windshield. Who is a dragon, the end? As I watched something large flew over the mountain in the distance and disappeared on the other side. It happened pretty quick and was honestly uneventful.

Whatever it was was dark in color and larger than a plane with a long tail at the end in a kind of diamond shape. So literally the dragon from that one Rain of Fire movie. Yeah. Oh man, what a good movie, right? I've seen that movie by the way. I've seen that movie. It's so wild that of all the like excellent classic movies that we talk about that you haven't seen.

Yeah, you watched the Christian Bale. I've seen it multiple times. Matthew O'Connor Hay. Probably like three times. It's, I would, I don't, would you even say it's a cult movie? Like I don't know that it has a good reputation, does it? I don't know. I remember the thing I walked away from the movie from

is being like, wow, they actually had a cool explanation to fire breath. That's like the most on brand thing I've ever heard in my fucking life. I don't know how that's on brand, but I'm glad. I checked to make sure there weren't any birds around. I could mistakenly seen as something else or anything on the windshield that could have created

an illusion. There was nothing, nothing on the windshield, no birds in the area. My mother hadn't seen it. She was too busy concentrating on the road. Good job, mom. I didn't bother saying anything to her. She wouldn't believe me anyway.

Who would have? Several years later, I was really into reading articles on cracked.com, especially articles about sightings of cryptids and the paranormal. It was one of those articles where I saw the image below and I was blown away. I couldn't believe it. I saw it back in 2002.

So it was just a gift of a dragon flying in the sky. And it like literally classic fantasy dragon flying in the sky. And you filed a police report? Well, here we go. Okay, okay. Fast forward to the summer of 2017, one of our friends got a fire pit

for his large backyard a couple of years prior. He started inviting us to fire pit nights in 2017, where we enjoy good food, good company and beautiful view of the stars. I lied. It's not a police report. Continue. What?

Everything is a lie now, Matt. It was a science report. It was a science report. I jumped, I jumped the gun on that one. Wow. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Continue. I don't want people to be depressed

when we get to the end. He's already depressed. I'm feeling great. I'm into this. It was during one of these nights that our friend in attendance told us they had seen giant bats gliding silently through the night on multiple occasions

while they were out sitting around the fire pit in the years before they started inviting my husband and me. The things they described as bats apparently glowed a bit with what was probably bioluminescence. What? After the first time they saw them, our friends made sure to bring out high beam flashlights every night in case they saw them again.

Are there known bats that are bioluminescent and curiosity? Not that I can think of. Me either. As luck would have it, the bats or pterosaurs as they learned, these things were called, showed up again several more times in fact.

And when my friend turned the high power beams of light towards the creatures, everyone out in the yard that night could see them clearly. Our friends described them as dark brown in color, glowing faintly with huge leathery wings with membranes much like a bat. What the hell? They were much too large to be any kind of bat species

known to exist. They did not flap their wings, but soared quietly like other winged stealth predators. The friend that on the fire pit even had thermal images to back up this claim. He had submitted the images in story to a pterosaur siding website that also features many other sightings

of these creatures around the world. I unfortunately never got to see these creatures, but the way they describe these pterosaurs keeps wanting to be like pterosaurs. These pterosaurs sound eerily like what it's seen when we first moved to the area. I'm convinced that's what I saw that afternoon. I know what I saw.

And with so many claims to back me up, there must be something out there causing these modern day pterosaur sightings. Very, very interesting. I think this can easily fall into the same categories as like, what are those? Like the lightning birds and lightning birds? Yeah.

Can you cover those on one of the earlier episodes that we did? All of the different native like... A thunderbird? Thunderbird, lightning bird. Thunderbird, yes. Thunderbird. That dose.

Yeah. Yes. Yeah, but like all of the different, there's like all throughout history, different legends of massive creatures. And I mean, it could easily fall into that too if you were talking about cryptids, right? But I guess, I don't know.

Did you, it depends on how clearly you saw the thing. That's the thing. Like, could it be like something that was way closer to you that you thought was bigger? Like... Perception, sure. Could it be, you know, there's certain drugs that you do where you see things flying in the air?

Were there any drugs involved in these stories? Like, what were you doing? Were you drinking when you were hanging out outside? You know, like, you never know. Like, you know, that famous scene in the, what's the movie with Hunter S. Thompson with Johnny Depp? Fear Loathing in Las Vegas? Yeah, yeah.

What? I'm gonna say, Leaving Las Vegas. What? Like, wait a minute. Leaving Las Vegas. No, he starts to hallucinate. He takes, I forget what it is. It's ether or something like that,

that he's just like huffing. And he starts to like see bats. And I think that's a fairly common hallucination in the desert is like bats in the sky. So I don't know what causes it. I don't know anything about it, but, you know, there are things it could be, or it could be a living creature out there

that's a bioluminescent giant bat that he jumps off with the ax and he looks real cool. And then he just gets swallowed. Just gets eaten. I can't believe that the trailer showed that jump and they didn't show like right after he just gets eaten. I thought he was gonna like cut some dragon's head in half for like 30 feet.

You know, that was gonna be like the coolest thing I'd ever fucking seen as a kid. And he just, no, that was, that was during the time period of movies where they trailers specifically lied to you. I'll never forget going to go see that one Steven Seagal movie where Steven Seagal is killed in the first five minutes.

I was like, what? Oh, yeah, I remember that. I'll never forget that shit. The whole movie was like Steven Seagal. And then he's dead in five minutes. I was like, so pissed. I love that. Oh my God.

I'd be like, where's my money? Now mind you, looking back now, I'm like, why did I even care? Yeah. Imagine seeing that dude being like, I'm gonna kick your ass. And being like, this guy is the coolest guy I've ever seen.

I wanna be just like this. There was a time period where he could do no wrong. You were like, oh yes, go. My macho childhood died when I watched him getting eaten by that dragon. And the last chance that I had to be like a manly man child. Anything outdoorsy or rugged about me

died in that dragon's mouth that day. I was like, guess I'll go play Dragon Quest. Anything outdoorsy and mainly about me died when the Boy Scouts took me camping. That was it. No, no, no, all right, no. I was a part of one of those Boy Scout groups. I just didn't like being outside and shit in the woods.

You love to see it. Whoa. Alex, I'm gonna give you this next one here. Okay, this one's called My Father's Ghost Experience. It's by Baked Chicago. I approve Baked. All right, yo, all my life, I've been pretty secular and I haven't even ever really believed in ghosts,

monsters, or any religions. That is time out, time out, time out, time out, time out. I was wondering if we were gonna clarify what's happening or not. Yo, all my life I've been pretty secular and I haven't ever really believed in ghosts, monsters, or any religions. Jesus, Bigfoot, the fucking Spinks, you guys are fake.

I just wanna point out, I don't know if it's just me, but I tend, if you wanna convince me that what you're about to say is totally true, if you start your thing with me, yo, I believe you. I know you're about to spin back. I'm like, who saw what? Yo, I'll be like, go on, tell me I'm in. That being said, a story my father told me

while I was probably 15, 16, shook me a bit. My father is a pretty straightforward man and if I hadn't known of this story of his, I 100% would have pegged him for not believing in ghosts. Since I've been getting into the pod recently, I reached out to him and had him type out and elaborate on his experience he had in 1994 to 1995. The following is the email that he sent me.

Yes, yes, this is such a good one. 3800 Lakeshore Drive is a vintage condo building. It was stunning and had lake views. I just love that the father's permit proper and the sunny rays was like, yo. Let's say this fucking next sentence. The beautiful chandelier over our piano at home came from there.

The previous owners, the guttermans, owned the unit for 40 years. The guy died maybe five years before I bought it and his wife lived there alone until I bought it from her. After moving in, I noticed some strange things. On the first day or two of living there, I sensed what was kind of like a wind racing fast between rooms.

Woosh, woosh, woosh, strange, but I didn't get freaked out. I thought maybe a window was a little loose and outside air was coming in. I occasionally heard footsteps as if they were in the condo, but I thought maybe they were coming from the unit above, but this was a very well-built building and it seemed like the step sounds were close.

That was a little spooky. My old friend and business partner, Bruce, came over for a visit one weekend. His name is Bruce. Another mutual friend. Of course, his name is fucking Bruce. I love that in my mind's eye, this dude is wearing like a ship captain hat

and an ascot and I love this guy. Bruce came for a visit one weekend and brought along another mutual friend, Cliff. Cliff lost the bag when he was a kid. Cliff lost the bag when he was a kid. I'm just stealing Dan right now. The writing, the writing here is just expert. Cliff lost the leg when he was a kid.

He had a wooden leg that he took off at night. I slept in the master. I slept in the master. Every night story. In a wooden leg, he took off at night. Shit about the paranormal stuff, this is a great story. I slept in the master. Bruce slept in the second bedroom.

Cliff slept on the couch in a living room during the night. During the night, Cliff screamed. Bruce and I ran into the living room and a nearly naked Cliff was hopping around on one leg. He had taken off his watch when he laid down to sleep. While sleeping, he heard a bang. His watch had been picked up off the table

and slammed on the floor. Definitely spooky. One day, I was standing in the dining room and the footsteps were very noticeable coming from the living room directly at me in the dining room. I suddenly stopped directly in front of me. Then I heard what sounded like someone breathing

very heavily in my ear. Scared the hell out of me. By this time, I'm thinking, this is Mr. Gutterman, who's been looking for his wife and was pissed off that I was there. Well, having been scared to death and a little mad, I spoke to the invisible Mr. Gutterman. I said that his wife moved.

I lived there now and she wasn't coming back. That moment on, I never heard or sensed anything unusual. So was it a ghost or was I just imagining things? OK, my dad's email is done and I got a couple more details. I've known Bruce since I was a baby. And when I had him recall his experiences, and he seemed pretty actually shook up, despite him having the least experiences among the three.

Some details I remember from the story that my father didn't mention in the email is that the glass on Cliff's watch shattered and that my dad actually found the address that Ms. Gutterman moved to so that she could write it down. Her ghost husband, I asked him if he remembered that and he said he didn't recall. So that means either I made that up or his mid 70s brain

called that info in the past few years. Love the pod, peace, edit. If the boys want to read this, if the boys read this and want to share it on the pod, that's cool. There you go. I love that story. Shout out to the big Chicago.

That's a great story. That was great. It was wasn't a great. All right, we got one more story and then a dream for Jesse to interpret. Do I have this information? You don't have these. These were backups in case we ran a little short on time.

I wasn't sure how long those other two stories were going to take. Oh, my God, bless that story. That was so funny. I really loved that story. It was so good. This one's called The Ghost on Christmas Eve by Niko Shea-tions with the, you know,

spelled like Niko. Very clever. I like that. Shea-tions is an interesting last name, right? Isn't it? I'm sure this will sound like a broken record, but I'm a fan of the podcast and I love listening to all the different things

that are covered. Shout out to Jesse for being the voice of reason. Thank you. This is my first Reddit post ever. So fingers crossed that this gets put in the right place. As someone who has always been a skeptic and wanted to go to haunted locations to try and see something paranormal,

what happened to me on Christmas Eve still has me thinking and going over it almost every day. A little backdrop to set the scene. I'm in a two bedroom apartment with three other people. I moved in with a friend and his mom and then another mutual friend moved in with us. I took the living room as my room for the time being,

sleeping on the couch with my head near the archway to the kitchen. With the Christmas tree we had up on the other side of the archway. On Christmas Eve at around 4.50 a.m., I was having a nightmare. Not that unusual for me. What was and will probably be the weirdest thing

is that I woke up from the nightmare in a completely different sleeping position than when I usually wake up. On my back and looking right up at the ceiling. Almost as if I knew something was there, I turned my head to the right and saw a figure standing right in front of me. I say figure because I couldn't rightly tell

if it was a man, a woman, or even a human. It looked almost as tall as the Christmas tree and appeared to be wrapped up in a white sheet like you would wrap up a body before burying it and was very transparent. I'll put it on that moment. I thought it was gonna be Santa. What?

Yeah, that's where this was going. Always Santa Claus. It wasn't leaning over me. It wasn't even tilting its head, it was just there. I don't really know what I was thinking at this point. It was almost like I was still asleep. I was just staring at it but wasn't scared despite the fact that this was the first

and only paranormal thing that I ever witnessed. It was only a few seconds of looking at it before I believed it started to move to the kitchen and out of my sight. I say I believe it started to move because I never saw it move its lower half. To me, it just seemed like it was being dragged back into the kitchen rather than gliding.

As soon as it was out of view, it was like I woke up a second time. I grabbed my phone and texted my roommate who was still up and in one of the two bedrooms that I think I just saw a ghost. They asked me if it was heavy, if it was heavy set because their grandmother had died on Christmas Eve around 2 a.m.

and has been coming back every year. I told them I didn't believe so. In fact, the ghost in my memory was tall and quite skinny. I talked to that roommate's mom the next day and she said the same thing. Her mother usually comes around sometime between 2 and 4 a.m. on Christmas Eve, almost as if to say she is still here

and watching over them. Personally, I'm unsure of what to think of this encounter. I've been here since November of 2019 and had no ghostly encounters last Christmas Eve. My girlfriend said it might be a guardian angel since it woke me up from a nightmare, but the prospect of seeing a ghost, let alone a guardian angel,

has my mind reeling with questions of what this means for my concepts of the afterlife in religion. I'm writing this now on New Years because I was reminded of to write stories while listening to episode 80, the Minnesota compilation eight and hard to talk of other listeners' stories

in the podcast. All the editors that will read my experience and have an experience, something's paranormal yet. I hope you have a benign experience like myself. I truly believe you need to see something to fully believe it after what happened to me. Oh, an interesting little story. I don't know, but seeing a body bag ghost

would kind of creep me out. That's kind of an interesting little multivert, but the corner of the ghost sighting universe is the family tradition ghost. Yes, the family tradition. Yeah, it's true because it's not unheard of. It's just not common. Yeah, there's plenty of people who have families

where they're on this day every year. There's a little something and what happens? What's going on there? What are they all experiencing? You know what I mean? How do we explain that? Is it just that the whole family is like sort of like... Sensitive or something?

Like playing to the same made-up thing or is it really happening? You know what I mean? It's interesting. I mean, it also just sometimes it could be family tradition. Like you were saying, Alex, like, yeah, grandma shows up every year and if it's real or not, it doesn't matter.

It's the idea that, you know... It's comforting. That's part of the family tradition of that holiday. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. All right. This last thing is a dream, Jesse. And this dream is titled The House of Many Rooms.

Oh, boy. Oh, boy. A dream for Jesse. I love the heightened language. Where do I see this? It's on Reddit. I will copy, paste it and throw it in a... Find a girl.

I guess I'll just throw it in the Zoom chat, right? That can work. And I'll read it. I was going to read it, but if you want to read it, I can't. Okay. I'll read it, because it can't fit all of it. There's too much.

Okay. Just sit back and listen, Jesse. Oh, boy. I'm going to narrate your ears with beautiful tones. I personally do not believe in the grand supernatural. I do believe in aliens. Shout out. Oh, this is by Rion Parker, by the way.

Okay. So many planets, at least one other, has to have life. But no majestic 12 or little gray men stuff. Well, I take that back, Rion. In regards to dreams, the closest to supernatural I had was a few interesting dreams involving my father after he passed, but those are not the dreams on question. The dream in question was so mesmerizing

that when I woke up, I immediately grabbed my phone and took copious notes on all I could remember as to preserve the dream in its original state, not the state created through multiple retellings with minor edits. The dream started with a house on a hill, old in poor shape, the white paint and pine green trim both chipping.

I instinctively knew that this was the house of many rooms and it's spelled with the capitals, like house of many rooms. It was a house of infinite space inside, somewhat like the TARDIS, if you know Dr. Who. And I boldly entered. I spent some time exploring bland rooms until I came across a U-shaped room

where the door was on the end of the U and the kitchen was on the other. What? Wait, what do we? It's like a U-shaped room. Describe this. What? So you walk into a U-shaped room on one end is a door

and the other end is the kitchen. Oh, okay. I came across a U-shaped room where the door was on one end of the U and the kitchen was on the other. So, you know, both those sides. I met a band of rovers there, people who lived in this place,

exploring it, finding all of their resources in its unending corridors. A member in the group, a male about 28 to 30 years old, told me to be careful, as if I stepped outside, as if I stepped outside as there were many doors in many rooms that led outside the house. It would be very unlikely I would ever find the same room again,

as the entrances led to a random room in infinite space. With this in mind, I continued exploring. I eventually found a young woman, Latinx, who was scared and confused. She couldn't remember where she was, how she got there, or even who she was. I took her under my wing, promising I would find out who she was.

We continued through the infinite rooms until we found a door we knew was leading down. Fortunately, I noticed the trip wire outside the door before we stumbled across it. Okay. This is like an age of mist. Right. We hid after finding it as we heard footsteps.

We saw a group of heavily armed men in swat-like uniforms heading down into this basement, and we decided that the information must be down there. I led the way and we opened the door and descended. Once we hit the bottom, though, there was a flash of bright light. We awoke on the grass. The sky above was gray.

Sitting up and looking around, there was a fog over everything. The trees and skyscrapers in the distance were gray from the fog, and we seemed to be in a large city park. The young woman was beside me. There was only one other building in the park, and so we walked toward the building,

which had a similar style to the Acropolis, but not ruined. There was a woman there, a large black woman, who told us that this building connected to the many rooms as well, and that we could find her identity in the basement if we could find it again. I was determined, so we plunged back into the depths. I led the way, the young woman in tow,

as we made our way through the room. I then stepped through a door, confidently leaning the way. When I found myself outside the house, I had made a fatal mistake. I had gone outside and she did not follow. The house of many rooms is infinite, and there was no way for me to find her. What a...

Just as I realized my terrible mistake, I woke up. What a well-developed, like, Lauren background for a dream. I can see why they immediately were like, this is where you gotta write this down, gotta write this down, like, to have so many memories, because I've had dreams where I can wake up and for a while I vividly remember most of it,

but it's gone pretty quick and I never write anything down. Yeah, I don't. But Jesse, take it away. I've been trying to look up what the girl could mean. Everything else I think I get, I don't know. So he just found this girl in the rooms. I mean, all right, maybe you can guess what the girl means, but so just to start, if it's a hill

and like a house on a hill, that's like an infamous kind of like a lonely, right? Like that's the vibe is lonely, it's this house on a hill, it's alone, it's by itself, it's away from everything else. And so that's like the lonely vibe. And then the many rooms is, it's kind of like, they're undiscovered parts of either yourself or your life or whatever, right?

But there's things that there's just so many and you're opening doors to enter them and you're like discovering new parts. And then anything that's kind of like a secret or forbidden room is something that is blocked off, but it's forbidden in the way it's like scary, right? It's like, it's something you're afraid to experience. And that's why it's like secret and hidden.

And Fogg is, there's about a million things for Fogg. Fogg is like either it's trying to shroud something or it's a gray zone or it's like an area between reality, like the real and the unreal. There's even like biblical explanations of what Fogg and dreams means. But basically the girl, I mean, the most basic thing is in the dream world,

like finding a girl in your dream is like accessing the feminine side of yourself. But I mean, in this case, who knows what that could mean? Because I mean, look, it does check out to be like a feeling of lonely, like if you went just based off of the exact what a dream book would tell you, it's like, I'm feeling lonely. There are parts of me that I'm like exploring

in this loneliness. And in that loneliness, there's a place that I'm like a little weird, weirded out by. And it could be my feminine side. Like the part of me that isn't like smashed stuff, it's the part like maybe I will watch the Gilmar girls, right? Like, I don't know.

I mean, that could be like what it is. But also there's parts of the dream that are just like, you know, when I had my word crazy dream and I was, I talked about it on like a few podcasts and even even tweeted it out where I was like, yeah, I killed God in my like, have I told you guys this dream?

What? You just like played a game in your dreams. All right, let me tell you this crazy dream. I'll let, I want, I want the people on Reddit to tell me what they think this dream is about. All right. That's a good little exercise. Yeah, I'm gonna tell you this dream.

Get ready for an adventure. I've had this dream maybe a hundred times in my life. Uh-oh. It is a dream that plays out differently every time, but in a way that is still the same. So the conceit of the dream is like, I know this going into it. The conceit of the dream is that I hear about

a really cool new horror thrill ride at an amusement park. Okay. And I guess it's just known to me because the way the dream starts is it starts at, like in the middle of the ride, like it starts when I'm in it. And the whole experience of this thrill ride thing is that it's a, Alex, you'll know about this.

You know those like mystery theater things where it's like, maybe you and one of the person are the only actual guests and everyone else is an actor. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And, and so it's, you know, it's an immersive experience. And then you can like watch all the people live their lives and at the end it's like, who did it? Who's the killer?

That kind of thing? What the fuck? Okay. And so this is a horror version of that. And I, the way it starts every time is I'm in bed and I open my eyes. And my wife, who I know is an actress. I know she's there as part of the entertainment thing.

This is a Black Mirror episode for sure. She wakes up next to me and every time she does something different to start the dream, every time. In fact, she's the one who wakes me up in the dream world. Right? And so this last time I opened my eyes cause she was licking my forehead

and her tongue felt like a cat tongue. What the fuck? And I was like, I was like, it's so weird. And I looked at her and I recognized her as being the actress. I couldn't describe her to you. She's like an amorphous figure. She's the actress, right?

She's the one who's always there, who is this character who every time, like one time she woke me up by, we were holding hands and she squeezed it a little tight. Or one time she was like rubbing my leg, right? But it's nothing ever like, there's nothing overtly sexual because I know and she knows

that she's not a part of an amusement park. Yeah, it's not a real. It's like all the amusement park. And so she wakes me up and she's like, all right, sweetie, today's the big day. You've got to go out and you're going to get your new car today. It's going to be so exciting.

And by the way, every time the car is different, there is no like special car I want. Are you excited to find out? This is like some astral aliens who always pull Jesse in when they get bored. They're like, all right, it's time to put him through it again. You wouldn't even know where this is going.

This is the quick. So they're like, wake up, honey. You know, it's time to get your car today. And this last dream, it was a Mustang. For some reason it was a Mustang. And so I was like, okay, sure. And every time I attempt to get out of bed,

I can't because she's operating on me. And so I know she's operating on me because there's a mirror above the bed and I can see it going on. And it's been where she's like, one time she had my gut cut open and she was operating. One time she was operating on my arm. One time she was like, like taking my legs off.

And this time she was operating on my eye. And I could see her operating on my eye. But the thing is, again, I know it's an amusement ride. So I look over at her like, I know it's just some weird trickery in the mirror. So I look over at her, I'm like, okay, take your time. Like how I would if I was at a haunted house

and like a guy jumped out. I was like, oh, you got me. Are you feeling time passing? Like how long is this taking you all together? Great question. I don't know. It's one of those weird dreams where, I don't know how time works.

In fact, later on you'll be like, how does time work? So I get up, I go into the closet. And in the closet is my butler. And my butler looks like, again, not a script butler couldn't describe to you what he looked like. He's just the butler. In the closet.

In the closet. And every time he has two suits in his hand. One is like really garish and one is just a plain suit. But this time because it was Mustang, one was a red suit with horses on it and one was just a red suit. And I was like, I'll just take the red suit.

So I put on the red suit and I go out into the living room and my wife is in the kitchen now and she says, honey, food will be ready soon. And I'm like, okay. And the butler says, you know, master, did you know that if your wife's in the kitchen that'll give us time to get in the bookshelf?

I'm like, oh yeah, no we should. And apparently it's a mini game where the bookshelf is a giant wall and at the top part of the bookshelf is like a safe. And he's like, you don't need to know the code. You can just unscrew the screws and get this safe. And I'm like, okay. At this point, are you like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I can unscrew the screws and get to the safe. Like every time, are you like over it? I'm not ever over it. I'm like in because it's like, you know, it would be like if you went to the haunted mansion and you really liked the intro bit, right? Okay, so you're just in it. You're just on the ride.

Yeah, I get it. I know what it is. I know the vibe. And so I climbed the bookcase and I get up to the top and every time I get up there, I unscrew the safe, open it up and inside is a remote control. And every time I notice the remote controls off

because it only has three batteries. And so what happens is I come back down and this time I came back down so quickly I dropped the remote and the battery spilled out and he grabs it and puts it behind his back as the wife character walks in and says, oh dear. Oh, dinner's ready. What are you doing?

And we're like, nothing. And the butler's in on it with me. He's like, nothing. Okay, I'll place the food down. And the butler's like, you need to use this remote to access that. And every time he points to another part of the bookshelf and I don't know why this is,

but it's Widowmaker from Overwatch. Hell yeah. But like, not the person, just like a doll or statue or something. And he's like, behind that is what we need. And I'm like, okay, but I never can get there because my wife will pull me to the table and be like, okay, so this is what you're gonna do today.

So I'll just start talking to me. And then she's like, oh, before you go, make sure to play your games. And I'm like, okay. So I go over to the couch and she's like, here you go. And she hands me like an old school light gun. Okay. And she says, okay, have fun and she'll leave the room.

And then on the giant TV screen, a bunch of monsters will appear and I'll just start blasting them. And suddenly I'm in the TV. But yeah, I was gonna say anyway, that's not blasphemy. I'm in the TV and giant monsters are attacking me. I'm shooting them all and it's great. But I'm doing it very easily.

Like I know what I'm doing. I've clearly done this a million times. And then at the very end, a giant quetzalcoatl shows up and I blast this thing and it falls down dead. And I'm back in the living room and like I'm flashed back to the living room. And the only reason why I know I'm back there is because I hear like sobbing, wailing sobbing.

And I looked down at the ground and my wife, the wife character is crying, like bawling her eyes out. And she looks up at me and like horror and an agent says, seriously, she says, you killed our God, you killed our God. Oh my God. Wow, wow, that takes a turn.

That's a hard turn. And I'm like, what? And then suddenly there's a hard cut. And now it's either, and every time this is the case, it's either an Asian dude or an Indian dude. And they're in front of a camera. And it's like a documentary about them talking about this ride and about how amazing and weird this ride is.

And then halfway through, it's like, it shows clips them walking through the park. Like it's like a documentary about the ride. And then halfway through this clip, they look at the camera and they go, wait, is this still part of the ride? And then it cuts to black and that was a whole other part of the ride.

Right? What the fuck, right? It's like, you're like inception, like the ride is part of the ride. If I had a million dollars, we'd be on this ride right now. And then we'd be making this ride. Just to like make it a short resort,

there's a roller coaster part. And there's like a part where I'm like crawling through shit. Whatever the case may be, the last time I had this dream, the reason why I vividly remember the beginning of it, because I wrote down everything because what ended up happening is, when I got to the part where she's like,

for some reason, I noticed that the actress in this version of the story, this particular go round was wearing yoga pants and was very attractive. Nice. And so, as she was crying on the ground and she was like, you killed our God, I couldn't stop focusing on her butt.

And because I knew it was all an act, because I knew she was just acting. Oh, let me look at that butt. I was like, oh my God, that ass. And it was so, it was such a nice butt, it woke me up from the dream. I popped awake and was like, I gotta write that down.

That's incredible. I don't know what any of it means. It seems all over the place, totally random. I couldn't tell you, but I'm sure someone out there knows what this dream is. I've had it many times, many, many times. And every time I'm amazed, I wake up and I'm just like, what the hell, it keeps going.

I love this. There's like layers to it. That is actually, we need to do a whole episode on that. That is, I mean, I'm so surprised when people have these like extremely nuanced, usually my dream is like, I walk into a room and then there's like somebody in there and he murders me and that's the whole dream.

Like that's the dream. Or I'm like falling out of the sky and then I die and that's the dream. I don't have like recurring dreams like that. I've had a couple that I can remember. The one that sticks out the most is like running while my dad could fly and as he had a pistol and he was trying to shoot me while he was flying.

Yeah, and I was like hiding in a, I woke up because he found me and like put a few in my gut and I like woke me up. That's literally like the like dark side version of Forrest Gump right there. Oh, anyway, that's it. That's the stories. That's the end for the episode.

Wrapping up with a Jesse, unexpected Jesse dream. There you go. I want to hear these. Everyone knows that my dreams are crazy. Your responses to his dreams in the subreddit. And then we will read the responses to his dreams in a mini-sode. That, absolutely.

That is a great idea. All these interpretations. We're group sourcing interpretations. It's like GameStop right now. It's like being Jesse Malkovich. If we could- If someone could explain to me, even the first chunk of this, I'll be so happy.

Malkovich, Malkovich, Malkovich. I have to re-dream it to like get the rest because I only wrote down vividly what happened in the first half. I know there's more because I've had this dream a bunch, but you know, it's a dream. So you kind of forget like all the details. I get it.

I get it. But I wrote down the first chunk and I like know all of it except that butt was so good and knocked me out of the dream. It like, I was like, this isn't real. Oh, she's like smelling salts. Hey, I'm thinking, do you go on TikTok a lot, Jesse? Are you on TikTok often? I'm not a big TikToker, no.

All right, maybe not. I was like, I'm on TikTok a lot and an ad that shows up constantly is like weird yoga pants for like butt, you're like shaping your butt to look incredible. Here's the thing, I've seen those as before and yoga pants are just universally great. But it was something, it's just a weird experience

to be in a dream where you know it's not real, but not because you know it's a dream because you're like at an amusement park. I'm at an amusement park. Yeah, like I feel totally safe. It's a weird experience. The weirdest thing. The thing that weirded me out was the cat's tongue bit.

That like weirded me out. I don't even have a, if I had a cat, that would make more sense. But it literally felt like a cat was licking my forehead and then I woke up and she's like, good morning, sweetie. I'm like, oh, hey, what's up? It's time. It's time to play the game.

Yeah, which is, just think about it. How do you start that ride? How do you start a ride where you wake up in a bed? I only think it was the start of that ride. You just get dressed. You get in that room, you get in that room, you get dressed, you lie down like you're going to bed in the next two minutes.

At some point, someone will come in. Your wife will come in. Your wife will come in. Right, that is a really weird ass ride. Yeah, your wife will come in and wake you up. The best part is the knowledge in your head that you saw commercial for this ride and you were like, I got to get on this.

Yeah, there's a backstory before it even starts. Like it's just built into the dream. There's layers to it that I don't get. I would love to have someone analyze that. Like processing some sort of trauma that it doesn't understand and turns it into some weird. Yeah, we have to hear from you, America. Please, write in, not just America, the world.

Please, write in, let us know what's wrong with our friend. Help us. We will read them. We will literally read it on a mini-sode, which is what we're going to go record right now for the Patreon. So thank you guys so much for listening and thank you for the stories.

Keep dropping stories. You can do so over at the subreddit. Also, if you want any of the merch on the Yeti store, grab it while you can. The sweatshirt, the OG t-shirt are both disappearing very, very soon. Can you believe it? We've got a new long-sleeved t-shirt, a new...

Yep, we've got a new long-sleeve shirt coming out, a new cryptid t-shirt coming out, a new pin in the design right now. So we've got some things shuffling around. So grab it while you can. Other than that, drop us a review if you got it from wherever you listen. Let us know.

Let us know how you like us. It helps a great deal in bumping this podcast to other listeners. Other than that, we're off. The Yeti Reddit, patreon.com slash chilluminati pod. All of those. Goodbye, everybody. We'll see you next week.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Anyway, me and my wife were sitting outside indulging on our porch one night enjoying ourselves. I needed to go to the bathroom, so I stepped back inside and after a few moments, I hear my wife go, holy shit, get out of here.

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