Chilluminati Podcast - Midweek Mini: Aliens Invented Chess?

Episode Date: April 8, 2026

This Minisode was originally uploaded with  Episode 329: Cornerfest ‘26 Part A - some of the topics discussed might be outdated. Subscribe to our Patreon to listen and watch the Minisodes as they release every week! http://patreon.com/CHILLUMINATIPODMike Martin - http://www.youtube.com/@themoleculemindset Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - https://www.youtube.com/@StarWarsOldCanonBookClub/Editor: DeanCutty Producer: Hilde @ https://bsky.app/profile/heksen.bsky.social Show Art: Studio Melectro @ http://www.instagram.com/studio_melectro Logo Design: Shawn JPB @ https://twitter.com/JetpackBragginLINKSJesse's Article: https://www.unexplained-mysteries.com/news/392941/former-russian-politician-the-aliens-who-abducted-me-invented-chessAlex' Article: https://nowiknow.com/the-mystery-of-the-third-shaker/Day of Disclosure Trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UFe6NRgoXCM&pp=ygUZZGF5IG9mIGRpc2Nsb3N1cmUgdHJhaWxlcg%3D%3D

Notice, notice, this midweek mini was recorded several months ago and may not be up to date with current events. For fresh minisode uploads with every episode, head to patreon.com slash Chaluminati pod. Welcome to minisone. Two, fifty, seven, eight, something like that, yeah. Two sisters. Oh, hello. Two freesty-h. Welcome to the minisole.

Welcome to it. Great episode. Cornerfest has officially begun. Yep. Excited to be in the weeds of Alex's leftover, like, mysteries that are all very weird and I feel like these were a particularly strange bunch where you like go halfway in and you think you know what the mystery is about. And then like, and this was me making return as you described.

This was me like writing the mysteries too. It's like, I was like, oh, dude, what's this girl in this webcam? Oh. Wait, what? The 116 pages of Mormonism. Like what? Admittedly, it's been a weird year for stories. Yeah.

So having weird stories at the end makes perfect sense. Yeah, totally true. What do you have for us today, gentlemen? Can I start? Yeah, please do. I have a Mathis story, and I'm not going to tell you the, the headline of this story. I'm just going to read you the story. Because I want you to experience this.

Okay. having previously served as the president of the Republic of Camicula, the Comac, the kingdom of Caligula, the Russian Federation, as well as head of the Chess International Govering Body, F-I-D-E, Kyrsson Ilumsinov is perhaps best known these days for his controversial claim that he was abducted by extraterrestrials back in the 90s. While he has told this story many times before, the tale was brought back into the spotlight recently thanks to an interview on Jesse Michael's American Alchemy podcast. According to Illuminov,

it all started in 1997. When standing out on the balcony of his apartment in Moscow, he was abducted by alien entities wearing yellow spacesuits. They put a space suit on me, told me many things, and showed me around, he said. They wanted to demonstrate that UFOs do exist. I'm often asked which language they used to telepathically talk to him. Perhaps it was on a level of an exchange of ideas rather than words.

That's always how it's described. In the recent interview, Ilyum Zenov elaborated on the conversation with the aliens noting that they had wanted to convey a peaceful intent. He claimed they had told him that Earth had previously hosted five intelligent civilizations, that the aliens themselves had created the human race, and that they had also invented the game of chess. Oh, all right. I didn't, I knew the story.

I didn't know that part for some reason. That's the headlines that aliens invented chess. We meant you, and we fucking made chess, bro. You thought that was you? You thought that was you? No, we had chess. That's too smart for you.

Gave his popular for 8,000 years. Fuck you. He also maintained that aliens had not conveyed him any political or military knowledge and that he had not been told about events that would come to pass in the future. Yeah. Anyway, the article ends with like, people are skeptical. Which, of course, they are. But I love the fact that a big takeaway from this is like aliens invented chess. I saw some of his interview because he was interviewed, I think, a few times about this.

Because he was in office when he got abducted. And then the other thing they kind of explained to him is like, do you talk to ants? Like, why would we like show ourselves and like communicate with all of you and whatnot? Like you're like ants to us. Little does you know. Yes, I do talk to ants and I do it all the time. Yeah. And I'm sure that's why sometimes aliens do abduct random people because they're curious what the ants are thinking.

No, that's a fascinating. Do you think when the Federation like got space travel that they flew back to the aliens that made us and learned the next. generation of chess. I would genuinely that's what Star Trek chess is. Yeah. Is there a Star Trek episode where they like

Learn about that? Go like, you know what I mean? Like they've never done that, have they? They've never like how their chess works. Fourth dimensional chess? Like if that's what you mean, Jesse. Like what?

No, no. I mean like when Alex said that like a progenitor species that made humans, right? Oh, they've done that. Do you think in Star Trek, the Federation, ever went and was that ever a storyline where it was like

where did humans come from? Yeah. Let's go find out. It's a, it's a, the one of the episode is, uh, you,

the realization why all, uh, humanoid aliens and humans all look the same, like have a bipedal thing. Yeah, because they all have the, it was seated. It was all ceded from an ancient race,

but they're like long dead. Like they are, their origin of them is a progenitor seeding their genetics in the future. It's a, it's a TNG episode. Probably probamious. I'll look it up. The alien prequel is that.

That feels very first season, TNG. Yeah. The one with, the one, the one where they go back to the planet and they find out that those guys made aliens and us. Yeah. You know? Literally, Star Trek aliens often look similar due to the in-universe explanation of ancient humanoid progenitors.

Seeding the galaxy. The humanoid, ancient humanoid episode is the chase on TNG. What season was the chase? TNG the chase. Oh, I bet that was compelling. Okay, so not early, but really late. Season 6, episode 20. So at the very end of season, season, season was the last season they got.

Yeah, I was going to say, because that's when it started to get weird. Like season seven was when they had like data having weird crow dream. I remember. Yes, yes, yes. But one were they ate counselor Troy because she was cake. Dude, it got weird. Oh, my God. That's right.

That is a weird. Here's a link to like a wiki page of this episode. And you can just see what the alien looks like, what the progenitor species looks like. Sorry, I know random shit, but TNG is like one of my comfort shows. I thought it was not only have I seen this episode. I remember this look completely. The Turtle Club. There you go.

Yeah. Yeah. Ninety-193. You guys see a master disguise? You guys seen that? Yes, I have. Turtool. I'm not turtily enough for the tunnel club.

Do you guys know, you guys know the trivia on that that he was dressed like that when you found out that the towers went down? I did know that. I did know that. Yes. He was fully in makeup and somebody. he was like, dressed like the turtle like this.

And somebody's whispering in his ear. Just like George's so funny. Oh, God. So yes, Jesse, to answer your question, yes, there is a Star Trek episode. That's awesome.

Okay, great. Love that. The progenitors. That was directed by Jonathan Franks. There you go. Mike Erg even got to direct the episode. Phenomenal.

Fact or fiction? He was like, I was the director of this one. What do you got for us today, Alex? Well, it's kind of been a corner fest tradition of mine to do the rejected cornerfests,

like during cornerfest, which is rejected full episodes. So this is one that is a rejected cornerfest. And this one is about the third shaker. There is just not enough to this for me to third shake. So you mean like the people? No. So check this out. So you guys know what a.

crew at stand is. No. No. So this is like a thing that is like it has, it's a little thing that sits on. Oh, I do know what this is. All right, never mind. I know exactly what this is. Yes.

It sits like on a table, maybe on like a pirate ship or older, like kind of like the pre to like the napkin thing on both sides. So your your, your spices don't move around while you're selling. Yeah. Yeah. It's a, it's a little stand. And they, you know, they've been around forever. And there's two bottles in the back.

um that are uh for like you know kind of like dressings or whatever you know and then or like ketchup or some shit like that in the back that are bottles that are clear and then in the front there is the salt pepper uh the salt shaker on the left and the and the in the pepper shaker on the right in the middle there's like a big third shaker and it's on like a million crude stands across time but nobody really knows like exactly what goes in the third shaker for sure. Like, what would your best guess be? I don't know.

Couldn't even begin to... Sugar? Maybe like a... Sugar? Maybe like paprika. A big old thing of paprika, though? You don't eat it. You never know.

Yeah, you don't need it. I mean, it may be sugar. I think that's a valuable thing. Although, I wonder if... Because sugar and... Yeah, I mean, like, seasoning. There's... Mr. Washington, please.

The pasta night's Italian Friday night. If you will. Oh, you got me looking up spices now. Yeah, I don't know. So some think it was sugar. Like, you know, if you imagine how a diner is with coffee or something like, there's reasons why you'd need that much sugar. But 250 years ago, like in the 1750s, when these things were common, sugar was like not something that you would just have out like this because it was like a very special thing to actually have sugar. another one is dehydrated vinegar

which the problem is just salt and pepper together in one big shaker just next to the salt and the pepper yeah and you got the one that's full I don't know so like some people think it's dehydrated vinegar but that's weird because one of the bottles is supposed to have like vinegar so it's like weird dill is another one or cardamom is another one but again

like why would you need like in most of them in most of these crude stands the middle one is the biggest one So why would you need, you know, something like dehydrated vinegar? I mean, maybe that. Maybe that's like British, like how HP sauce is now. Like you put a little dehydrated vinegar on everything. I don't know. I don't know.

So the mystery is this missing spice then? Like what is what goes inside of this goddamn third shaker? And it's not, there's not really a consensus on it. But a lot of people think that and you can even. find like in more recent years evidence that the third shaker maybe is for mustard because mustard used to be a dry like a mustard okay yeah used to be a dry condiment that you would like put water in so maybe you need some like you know like like how people keep a jar of mustard so maybe you need some to get your mustard going for the time for the for the for the for luncheon or whatever

and mustard is a much more central and older condiment than ketchup is I know today in america we kind of put them together because of hamburgers and hot dogs but mustard is like much older than ketchup and doesn't really go with it. Yeah, because ketchup tomatoes are a new world thing. Yeah. And so like powdered mustard is like the best guess that most people have. But you know, that's probably just because, you know, really the reason is likely that we just invented the refrigerator and just like, nobody was like, wait. What about the third thing in the crude stand?

What will we do? It's possible that like something like that happened. but I don't know. By 1922, they were calling it a mustard, a mustard bottle. Or in 1897, somebody called it a mustard shaker,

right? So who knows? Yeah. But yeah, not exactly as sexy enough for cornerfest. Yeah, you can't really, yeah,

there's not much, I'm like, where do you put that into the cornerfess agenda? But it's novel that something so, it is. It's novel that something so central to life. like that nobody thought to write down like what that other one was it's just interesting yeah well boys i'll wrap it up with something we briefly mentioned on the show today uh at the very beginning

uh just talk about real quick stupid trailer day of disclosure disclosure disclosure day but the reason i want talk about it is just like why it's taking fire in the ufo world and lore because if spielberg is anything he knows his UFO lore really really well he's dog whistling so many different Close encounters of the third kinds. He literally worked with Jacques Valet and Heinick.

He's in the damn movie. He's like super like into this stuff. And a lot of the imagery and stuff he uses in the fucking trailer is like right out of like

the deep research of this shit. Specifically like the cardinal and like the bird and the animals. That goes into the woo aspect of all this shit. Right. He's talking about the idea that like

the spiritual or the consciousness and like where these things are may not all be so different. And a lot of the times, too, when you're abducted and your brain kind of like from trauma replaces what you're seeing with something else. Birds are with big eyes. Like owls are often the ones that like your brain kind of replaces graze with is like a big owl is looking over me and stuff like that. And there's also talk about like how animals and shit can like are like a weird like earth trigger of like something weird to be a brain state you're even in. You know, think about what brain state you're in when you don't know what you're looking at and you're like.

running through the Rolodex. Like we were talking about an episode. Yeah. You're going to put something that you know in there before you're like, perhaps it's an alien. Right. Yeah. And then the clicking and mimicry stuff also talking about like,

they're able to either kind of just like poke into our consciousness or whatever. But the reason I think this is all taking off is because Spielberg has openly said in a recent interview on, I think with Stephen Colbert, I think is where people are pulling it from. That like he's talked about how he's, you know, he I think he believes in aliens and stuff. But when he's asked like why do you, if they're real like, why do you think think they're here. Spielberg specifically says that he believes that they are here because they're potentially future humans in a scientific role coming back to observe an event that happens to humanity.

And Spielberg also specifically says in interviews, he's like, we survive, or at least some of us survive. But he's talking about like these things that are here are like watching us, not with like an intent to guide us, but to like anthropology style, like watch an event in history that might be their history happen, whatever that event may be. And the idea that these things, whatever they are, can like access consciousness, if the next step is like the obliteration of the walls of the self and like a consciousness of like under, like, how does telepathy work, if not in quantum entanglement with like other brains and, you know, thoughts? If that happens to humanity at some point, there is that consistent, that thought of like, well, the obliteration of the self would happen, right?

if humanity is going to psychically connect in some way, that, like, would happen. There would be no more you if, like, you just can, you know, everybody's thoughts and stuff. Right. And, you know, that's, I think what he's, again, this is a sci-fi movie. This is not a documentary. This is not a change of disclosure. And he's probably gassing it up a little bit, too, like in the way that he's talking, right? Of course, he wants to sell a movie that's, like, scary and it's exciting and, you know,

he's doing what he's doing. But it's probably going to be tight, yeah. The reason that people, I think, are freaking out is because, you know, Spielberg is known to like kind of have interest in the stuff. He's talked with Guillermo del Toro about Guillermo de Toro citing of a UFO. And Del Toro's citing says it was extremely cliche. He was disappointed.

Like his UFO sighting was exactly what people talk about, a spinning disc, blinking lights. And in their interview, he's like, I was very disappointed. He's like, I don't always exactly what expected. But because Spielberg believes and he says that he thinks that they're future humans, I don't know where he gets that idea from,

knowing who he's talked to, though, is I think why people... Well, maybe the screenplay, though, also, like... Credence into it. Yeah, sure. Yeah, exactly, right? Like, maybe, you know, it's fucking part of the screenplay. Maybe committing to that for now at this time. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

But that's, it's, it's every, every UFO subreddit, if you even poke in, it's all. It's everybody thinks this is like what age of disclosure actually is. And I'm like, no, I mean, there might be some cool stuff in there. Like, close to counters the third kind was extremely on the nose and really good with abduction scenario stuff. I think like it would be great if there was like a movie series at the center of the UFO fandom because then they could like get into that instead of like trying to like mess with people who are really trying to figure this out all the time.

Like I feel like if they could just like get like get into their theories and like the writers would just like give them the theories that they want and show them the movie of the aliens happening. That's fantasy fulfillment. That's why people care about Batman's. outfit being a certain way. Like, I feel like if,

I feel like if they had that, maybe, maybe when this movie comes out, maybe they'll be just like, I'm like a day disclosure day fan. I'm not like a, I'm not like a UFOologist. I'm just a,

I'm just a, I'm just a disclosure day fan. I think that movie's tight. I love that movie. I don't think that is going to happen, unfortunately. I think it's going to be just like close encounters. People are like,

soft disclosure, dude. you guys seen that you guys seen that picture that orangutan smoking that's me that's me right now yeah that's you yeah yeah yeah anyway uh

it'll be a great movie don't put any fucking like stock into it don't stress about it you know it's not going to be the end of the world everybody in the UFO subredits I promise that's it for us wait wait I want to give you I want to show you guys this picture of this of this

orangutan smoking this is me right now yeah there yeah yeah that's That's me thinking about all the people that are not going to understand this movie. Like, if this was an event that was really happening, do you think Spielberg would be making a movie about it and hyping it up and dropping trailers? Or do you think a documentary would be the thing you're doing? You know what I mean? If it was real, if it was real, this monkey would be me.

If it was real, this monkey is you. It's also just smoking. But he's happy, though. He's like, he looks like he's savored in it. Yeah. Yeah, the other one looks exhaust. Yeah, he looks like he needs it. And this guy looks like he got so hype that he decided to light one up, which I know,

I like better. Cornerfest again next time. Yep. We'll be back next week with a brand new episode. We appreciate you. God, we love you. So many things. Goodbye.

Bye.