Chilluminati Podcast - Midweek Mini: Mikes Mushies Meditations

Episode Date: August 7, 2025

The inner workings of weird thoughts. All you lovely people at Patreon! HTTP://PATREON.COM/CHILLUMINATIPOD Heroforge - http://www.heroforge.com Promocode: Chill Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/superbeardbros Editor - DeanCutty http://www.twitter.com/deancutty Show art by - https://twitter.com/JetpackBraggin http://www.instagram.com/studio_melectro

The Minneso The Miniseries The Minisot 219. and that's it that's all there is we're there yeah I'm not good I got nothing

I got another weird to say today you guys weren't being weird that was pretty honestly a normal intro except for the part I was like yeah

yeah but that's just you were excited you weren't being weird this time you're just being excited oh never mind no

no never mind oh oh oh want to hear about my mushroom experience gentlemen I would love to take us away

I'll give you quick context I've only done mushrooms twice in my life prior to this about two years ago. First time I did it, did a low dose. I just wanted to have a good time. Instead, I grappled and rectified with my own self-hatred of my neurodivergence and what it means to how I live my life. Okay.

And then I was like, I'm going to do that again. That sounds pretty good. And then, yeah, but then the second time I was like, well, that's not what I wanted the first time. So I'm going to double the dose. Here we go. And that was about a month later, I spent that night sweating, vomiting, and watching my legs melt into the ground over and over until I begged for this to end.

And I didn't touch mushroom for two years. That was, and then you were like, but maybe this time it'll work for me. Yeah, I went back to a low dose on this one because meditation felt like a good time and I wanted to do it. And it was fascinating because it was a lot, not very visual. There was, I saw like moving patterns and at one point I closed my eyes and I saw weird symbols, but they were meaningless. But instead, I initially, I ended up having a conversation with myself in my head, but the voice that was responding to my questions were responding in a way I couldn't predict. even though it was using my own voice, which was very fascinating. It was like having a conversation with a different person, but the different person had my voice.

What was weird about is how mocking in tone it was the whole fucking time. And I was asking questions just about like, why I get so tired, why sometimes I can't like, I don't want to meditate. And some days I'm like tired before I even start meditating. And it like basically just laughed at me and said because I'm so tired because I spent all my time worrying about things that aren't happening yet, these like politics or whatever, you know, anxiety basically of like worrying about things and how they might go and not being able to control them. And then when I'm not doing that, I'm too busy spent thinking about what I think I remember

my past and trying to like work through that. And then by the time I finally am able to focus in the now, I'm too tired to even appreciate where I am and that I need to stop worrying about what I can no longer control and focus in the very moment. And then the voice was basically, basically saying and that's the point of meditation to teach yourself to exist in the now and stop worrying about things you can't control because it stops you from enjoying the eternal present the now that is always it's always the now so he's finding the same truths that the rose finding bro it feels natural right like I said like math it makes sense somehow it was weird it was weird because it was like it felt like it was just like coming from a totally

different person um and then I asked it if I was talking to myself and it laughed at me and then I said of course you're talking to yourself and then I said am I and then for some reason I was like you know what fucking I'm going to ask it anyway I was like am I speaking to a human intelligence and then it laughed at me again and said of course you're not speaking to human a human intelligence because intelligence isn't human intelligence is intelligence and you're a human who processes that intelligence. And then I got a weird image of like a needle injecting like a blue liquid into a human body and then the needle pulling it out and then the body collapsing. And I like representing

like life is more than just your physical form. You're like a sock puppet for life. Yeah. Yeah. Like that. But like it was basically like that's a dumb question. It didn't it. I wanted it. I wanted to know a more direct answer. And it gave me it mocked me and gave me a vague like intelligence isn't human. What did you say that it? be you. It told you your math, right? That's what I'm saying. Yeah,

it told me I was math. It kind of did though, right? In a weird way. But that's what it's weird about it. It was my voice and it was in my head. Like, but also it felt like I was talking to a totally different individual that answers to things I didn't have answers to.

It's like one thing, the he, the him, the authority, the whatever, right? The projection of what I think society wants. And when he's you,

he's in your show. But it's also your everybody. So it is. you you're talking to but like when he when he's somebody else it's somebody else who's talking to themselves it felt profound in the moment

I was like profound it's profound it makes sense of course that's what it all means it was fucking weird and that's like you know I don't know I feel like some of that it squares with the like UFO lore about aliens like harvesting the like entropy of our planet as like a burst of whatever

intelligence, energy, like, I don't know. It's, it's, it's, uh, it's, uh, it, what I did the part that I found weird was that it was very mocking and that it wouldn't answer straight to that like it would just seems like an internal you though. If I think what you are on the inside, mocking and not really giving answers. Yeah, I mean, maybe that's what I mean, yeah, dude, maybe. I don't know, but I'm going to try again sometime in the near future. We're going to try to meditate and not get lost in my.

own internal conversational monologue i love that um do you want to read one of our i already had one ready to go that's what i was already gonna do you want i can get you one jessie hang on oh sure i oh no give us give us a what story did you pick i just thought this one was cool it's from today and i thought it was neat uh this is called visual hallucinations through meditation and it's from a lull al on our on our subreddit fantastic uh Hi, all. This is my first post here. I've been listening to the podcast for about two years now. I just finished the Monroe Institute part two episode and I felt like I need to share one of my many personal stories, would love to be featured on the pod or for you to simply enjoy my story. Here goes. About this time of year, last year, I was writing my thesis on memory, deja vu, jaie vu, and the potential to experience these phenomena collectively.

For context, I was an arts major in the Netherlands. I was referred to visiting, I was referred to visit a breathing midday. workshop for research purposes, more specifically conscious connected breathing or controlled hyperventilation. Fast forward, I enter a bit well-lit room with about 20 other participants. There were four guides with us and one begun the session by telling us that if someone is here to have a joyful and pleasant experience, they may leave now, as this is not a recreational practice. I was instantly more intrigued as this happened a while ago. Some details may be a bit hazy, but not the vision I experienced. A man was playing instrument for us to help guide us and be in the right headspace, and we all laid on the ground on mats with the guides walking

around and assisting with our breathing techniques either by quietly talking to us individually or, if given consent beforehand, touching on the chest and or belly to help us feel the breath. As the exercise has begun for the first 30 minutes, I felt the usual effects I have before reached through such breathing exercises and meditation, such as relaxation, my body getting heavy and intense focus and detachment, as in observing myself experienced things, but not reacting to them. About one hour in, I couldn't feel my body at all. I was aware it existed somewhere and that I was not far from it perhaps, but had no physical sensation of it whatsoever. The only physical thing I felt was my breath and its movements. Intense visual

hallucinations followed. I was two things. One was my ex-best friend with whom I had been friends for some 10 years and recently a few months ago had lost. We had a fight and she left me completely ignoring me to be off with her new boyfriend. I saw her smiling and running on a beach towards me and then towards the water. She was all laughing and happy. It was like a reenactment of a memory we had the year before during a vacation. In her smile, I saw all the love I had for her that was now grief and anger. The scene of her in the beach was interrupted several times, but a big dark circle that was pulsating right in front of me. I say interrupted, but sometimes the two things were overlaid,

or I'd say as if looking at as if I was looking at two things at the same time, even though they were not physically in the same space. The dark circle seemed to admit strange light. Its presence was washing over me. It felt like being on the edge of nothingness, being on the edge of forgetting. I focused more on the circle as I had kind of expected to see my ex-best friend pop up, as I had the idea that I had not entirely gotten over our separation.

The circle kept pulsating, and I seemed to be getting closer to it. It's strange light engulfing me. I do not remember what happened first. The guides start, starting bringing us back by introducing another breathing pattern, or the man a few seats past me started crying intensely. It was heartbreaking. He cried and screamed as if he had just witnessed the death of a loved one. I opened my eyes slightly while still unable to feel anything of my body past parts of my face

and saw him rolling on the ground with the four guides calming him down. afterwards they slowly brought us back eventually i could wiggle my toes and fingers and regain sensation of my body i had been crying the parts of the mat next to my head my shirt and my face were wet from tears it took me maybe 15 minutes after the session ended to be able to stand up and tend more to be able to walk i chatted briefly with the person next to me to regain sensation of reality and then left and went home as i continued to think about what i saw i thought the black circle with strange light was a gong. In about a month, I had a deep depressive episode stemming from the breakup with my friend and went back to therapy. It took me about two months to put

myself back together. Fast forward to the summer, I had just changed countries again, and I was hanging out on a beach with some friends. I don't remember from where, but probably from some research I was doing. I had come across a book about the Black Sun in Arts. I'm very interested in the esoteric sciences, by the way. To explain it quickly, the Black Sun represents the first process of the creation of the philosopher's stone, or so alchemy claims. It is meant to signify death and purification. At that moment, I realized I hadn't seen a gong at all these months ago. I had seen the Black Sun. The logical way I interpreted this vision is that then was the period when I started to realize that my life was dying. I was graduating university. All of my

international friends were going to be scattered around the world my anchor my friend of many years was already gone and to put it shortly my whole life was going to change inevitably and irreversibly I cried for a long time that night but the grief was mixed with the feeling of salvation and continuation and as one thing dies it opens space for something new I hope you enjoyed my story and this is my favorite part and no I was not on drugs thank you for that clarification Need to clarify, yeah, I get it. I love the analogy at the end because it's just like that ends up being true. Like it's a conclusion you have to come to at some point.

It's like versions of yourself do kind of have to die for you to grow into the person that you want to be. You can't be the person you were if you grow past the lessons that you were kind of supposed to learn that time. Right. It's about change. It's about growth. Life is about progress. Change and pain, essentially, and the lessons and gratefulness that you learn there in. Observing.

Yeah. Yeah. all right jesse what do you got to take us home well i must stress to everyone over on the reddit thank you for posting your first time meditation stuff that's awesome we love you i absolutely was unaware that was the plan for this bonus show well it was absolutely not to the main episode it was absolutely not i just brought one god i thought it's all good i was just like no no you're good anyway i brought uh the future gentlemen oh we talk frequently about the future and where we're going

and one of those futures involves robots, humanoid ass robots. And I hate these fucking games. We have two examples right now that are both terrifying. One is this robot. You can actually go to the website. If you want to buy it,

I will send you guys this link. This is... I don't want to buy it. This is the Unitry G1, the humanoid agent AI avatar priced from $16,000, but most are $21,000. This is the android that Kai Sinat, famous streamer had, that they literally abused on stream. And then I think while he had Chris Brown on,

it like just died in the back. That was a real Android. I always thought that was as a dude in a suit. This is this thing, I believe. I could. So this is a whole other thing where they have not just those dog robots, but also human ones. And they have one that I think is really interesting.

called a G1 comp that is a football as in like soccer playing robot they're pretty scary man why wait a minute what you can look through all their stuff yeah this is a real it's a real it's really weird because it's really weird because the website is like the website is like really nice like it's really well made and so it has like these like really high-res gifts i think is what they are on it and i can't because Because of the compression on the gifts, I, like, can't tell if the thing is, like, computer generated or stabilized in any way. Yeah. But it looks fucking creepy, man.

They have, again, go find footage of that guy, Kai with, it's like a real thing happening. So anyway, that's in, like, that is a robot that you can buy right now if you just have too much damn money. It's got Ninja Turtle fingers, man. This is no, like, man, this is like, you are. set for life if you can buy one of these things. You shouldn't buy this. They have videos all over the website

where you can watch it and that kind of stuff. What kind of AI are we talking about though? Like an LLM? It definitely isn't a, it has no talking features. It's literally just a robot that can move and do things.

The question is, what can it do? They're saying exercise, like lead exercise things. It can help you around the house. I don't know. To be honest, it doesn't seem like it's,

this is definitely a. Round one of robots. However, then we come to the full creepiness of this literal robot that looks like it is out of the, uh, oh my God, my God, my brain, just the West World. You know the creepy ones that like don't have a face? They're not done, yeah. They straight up made them. This shit is fucked up. And it is like robot flesh.

A Polish startup. Oh, no. A Polish startup clone robotics has come up with a prototype for a new type of robot that can easily get us closer to the future of what robots are in the mind of many people, that humanoid fleshy robot, known as the pro clone, which is already terrible. I'm David. We're fucked. We're fucked. We're fucked. This robot at the time of the film that you see, which is all over, it's been all over YouTube and Reddit and stuff, it is hanging for, like, it's got hydraulic things built into it.

it looks like a fucking silent hill monster it is terrible it is terrible looking yes it is really truly awful right now it oh they say right now it's powered by pneumatics but the plans are to make it hydraulics and so it says the proclone is a faceless anatomically accurate synthetic human with over 200 degrees of freedom over 1,000 myofibers and over 200 sensors all of that

is interesting I can't wait until these things rule the world. This, this plus the Microsoft quantum chip that they coaxed theoretical particles into existence from and created a fourth state of matter and mix that with AI, why we don't, why? Why do we do? Humanity doesn't think about what they're doing before they fucking do it. They just like, do it. With that said, also on the, the future is definitely here, further range.

if you are grossly rich we are there there are actual real ass like sex robots now for $175,000 now here's the thing like I'd say with all these robots Don't get that first model

Let you all know don't do it Don't be the worst one Don't do that You're gonna turn into you in the game Cyberpunk 277 Yeah Some robots gonna rip your peepee off And I was a while ago

They'd be like is Jesse from Chaluminati in cyberpunk? I'm like, yeah, before stupid launch Chilumina existed. I wish I kept that fucking, I wish I kept that fucking clip from that YouTube video that's like,

YouTuber Jesse Cox is a came out of me? It's just not a picture of you. Dude, incredible. Yeah, it's good. What would you buy one of these first, like these regular robots for?

Again, I, looking at it, just by looking at it. Standing next to your piano in a white room with a big glass window on one side of the room. Honest to God, it has the same vibe as when Rocky bought a robot for his kid. It does nothing except show that you're

rich. As far as I can tell. All right, we've got to get one for Chulamana headquarters and make it a tax right off. Yeah, let's get a lot of them and make it into a robot that has like human gloves hand and they're like, well, what can it do? And they're like, it can help everyday humans. Like, in what way? Great question. As far as I can

see, every video is of it walking in China. Yeah, exactly what I'm saying. I'm sorry to trying to find on their website. I'm like, what does it help me with? Yeah. And that's the,

I mean, that's the biggest problem is they made a thing that is, it's designed for the rich to show off as we have a robot. That's all it is. As far as I can tell, does nothing.

Like, some of these videos just look like, AI generated videos, which is so weird. Yeah, I mean, like there's one, but there's one where it's like this robot

is cracking nuts. If you scroll down far enough, it's the robot cracking nuts, but like, yeah, okay, it opens a Coke poorly. Yeah.

You know, what do you do with it? Make content. I can open a Coke. That's my point. My point is I could open a Coke. You don't need to pay $175 to have $175,000 to have a robot open a Coke and fuck you. Just be a nice person and learn how to be interesting and go out and date people.

It's like better. Like bread in a pan and it succeeds the first time and the second time it just falls out of the pain. Why do you have that on the website? Just talk. Just talk to people instead. You know, if you really need somebody, I bet you could pay them. to do it for very cheap compared to how much it costs to buy a robot to do it. Yeah, no shit.

I mean, they definitely are like trying to sell the idea of it is, it can be used for educational purposes. I don't know how. I'm going to become like intolerant to a new form of life, I think. I'm about to, this is going to be bad. Are you going to become one of the Star Wars characters hates droids? Yeah. I'm welcome in this bar.

Dude, maybe they know something. You know why they don't have that shit in Dune? Look into it. Yeah. Yeah. Look into it. All right. the aliens are here, not for us, but for the AI we're creating. For the spice. All right, everybody. Thank you so much for supporting us here, Patreon.com, host, IllumniiPod. We'll be back next

week. We appreciate you. We love you. Goodbye. Bye, bar.