Chilluminati Podcast - Midweek Mini: The Andromeda Paradox

Episode Date: December 12, 2025

This Minisode was originally uploaded with Episode 310: Weird LA w/ Abby Denton - some of the topics discussed might be outdated. Subscribe to our Patreon to listen and watch the Minisodes as they release every week! http://patreon.com/CHILLUMINATIPOD Mike Martin - http://www.youtube.com/@themoleculemindset Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - https://www.youtube.com/@StarWarsOldCanonBookClub/ Editor: DeanCutty Producer: Hilde @ https://bsky.app/profile/heksen.bsky.social Show Art: Studio Melectro @ http://www.instagram.com/studio_melectro Logo Design: Shawn JPB @ https://twitter.com/JetpackBraggin

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That sure is a mini-sode there. Here, my little Chaluminauts, and we've got guest Abby here with us. It's a pleasure to be here. Thank you. This is, when this, when this hits the public airwaves, this is Abby Denton, who was on, like, episode, what, three, three, what, three, ten. So we're in through time and space, you have now guessed it on the show twice. Oh my God. That's actually what, uh, I have to be first.

I have to take that segue of time and space, Alex. I have to do. It's too perfect. Because that's what I bring to the table today. I learned about, uh, two interesting little thought experiments that, um, that kind of talk, that kind of show you the weirdness that time isn't really real. So have you ever heard of the Andromeda paradox? I haven't.

I legit thought you were going to say, have you ever heard of Doctor Who? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, it sounds familiar, but I'm not, I don't know what it is at hand. So I'm just going to, I'm just going to paint out the picture of what this thought experiment is. So imagine you, Alex, are standing on a sidewalk out in L.A. Done.

On just a random ordinary Tuesday, it doesn't really fucking matter. Got it yesterday. And then Abby walks past you heading the opposite direction toward, the shop heading east while you turn and stroll yeah yeah exactly and while you and while you alex uh turn and i start walking west instead um now according to einstein special relativity you and abbey if you were to both now take a moment and look toward andromeda and like if you had a magic camera that could show you indromeda in detail you would be seeing drama Andromeda weeks apart, even if you are right next to each other.

Why? Because that's how relativity works. So, Abby is walking at three miles per hour and you are walking slower than her. Okay. Because of the difference in the moment of reference of now for you is different when one is moving. Speed, all right. Remember, if you're saying still and someone is walking, they're experiencing time nanosecond seconds less than you or even smaller than that it's a reason that astronauts who go out in space

and come back end up being like behind in like their their time biologically right right so you take that little moment of time where say we'll even simplify it Alex you're not moving and abbey is the one moving and she walks she's walking by you and you're standing still and you both in that moment turn and look at indromeda with your special camera that shows indromeda you would see each C. Andromeda weeks apart technically because Abby's reference of now, even if it's nanoseconds or smaller, less than yours here, as it cascades and builds on itself over the course of two point five million light years. Yeah. Exponentially enough. Reaching your eyes because you're moving versus your eyes, Alex, when you're not,

would be about three, I think the math technically is like two to three weeks apart in difference, which immediately just shows time isn't exactly super linear that it's based on Einstein's theory of relativity it's built out of that equation and it's just because you move if I get up and I start walking and you sit say there I am experiencing time differently than you

even if it doesn't feel like it or is noticeable it's so hard to it goes with that idea of like remember photons travel faster than and sound waves. You're technically receiving what you're seeing before you receive what you hear. But your brain takes that and over the course of like a 200, some small, less than a

second of a second of a second, sinks it up in your brain so that you experience them simultaneously, even though they're not. There's always a delay there. And like, even on the smallest scale. So now you extrapolate that. You're not moving. Abby's moving. She's experiencing time slower than you are or faster than you are, I think, because I'm

trying to think you go out for a week if you like a light year and come back. Yeah, you would experience time faster technically. It's so fucked up. Hey, are you calling me slow? No, not no, Alex is a slow one. It's so fucked up trying to place that in some sort of like tangible experiential mindset. The way it's explained as they say is like the math is actually kind of simple. When you move relative to something far away, you're plain of now.

Imagine it's like a slice cutting through a loaf of space time bread, uh, tilts. ever so slightly over the distance to your neighbor's house this is like that it's you you wouldn't notice it if you were like on earth you're just not going to notice it next to each other but then you take that line and you stretch it out 2.5 million years and the cascading effect of the light traveling all that that distance is now weeks of difference between what you're seeing and what abbey would be seeing if you both look up at the same time it's it's just like time relativity in action I think what would happen in real life is I would be like, Abby, are you also looking at fucking Andromeda? Yeah. What do you do? It's fascinating. Big face with Indromeda. It's a cool,

it's cool place. I love, you know, I love Kevin Sorbo. I love Gene Roddenberry. It's true. It's a match made in heaven. Yeah, it's a perfect, like, it's like, that is aging me. Adromeda is like yin yank. Like, that's like the force of Kevin Sorbo and the force of Gene Roddenberry ideologically are so different and so. amazing that they look very, very different.

I just thought that was fascinating because I just love, again, I love that shit where like reality is very wobbly.

It's not really like if you get small enough, I think it's like the minus 36 something of a plank, time and space no longer matter.

They're just not part of the equation anymore. Like time and space is something it's built out of as we get bigger and higher on the scale of like size.

It's weird. I have to tell podcast host Dave Balmer about that. There's no overlap here. But I've spent the last five years telling him that he's small whenever I'm on his podcast

and he started having stress dreams where he shrinks down into nothing. That's amazing. And it's you, are you in the dream like, for a thousand feet tall? I have apparently, I have apparently like laughed at him for his sight.

Like a Simpsons hallucination? I'm given this poor man a complex. And, uh, this poor little man. You shouldn't, you shouldn't bully someone that much smaller than an Adam. that's rude I was slightly self-conscious that I'm like

I'm like 5-9 and he's like 5-6 and I was so self-conscious of being slightly taller and I just bullied him for it and that's how it's how bullies operate the three of us are like a the three of us are like a cell phone reception bar so how how differently do we perceive Andromeda standing at our heights?

I mean technically oh my God different We should try and sink Andromed us one time, you guys. If you guys want to just meet up in the desert one time and just try and like do peyote and sink our Andromeda cameras. Have you ever had synchronized andromat's with a partner? Like, there's no better feeling. I got to try.

It's just you're looking at it and you're like, yeah, that's my minute. We're both under the same on Andromeda. How are we going to take mushrooms and sink our andromedas in a few weeks? Yeah. Can't wait to sink my Andromeda, dude. I don't even know why sinking is part of it. I don't either. That's all I have.

Doing a heist. synchronized Andromeda is now. Synchronize it would make heisting andromeda very difficult. It might take multiple cell phones to do so, which is a perfect segue into my article from CTV News, in which a 20-year-old woman in Brazil was found dead on a bus on Tuesday. Apparently she was treated on the bus.

She was succumbing to cardiac issues and then glued. to her body was 26 iPhones and the iPhones were some of them for some reason one of this one of the sentences in this article is dedicated to letting us know that some of the iPhones were refurbished and so she was dying so she was dying on this bus for 45 minutes as paramedics tried to save her who were like all weirdly ignoring the 26 iPhones that were glued to her literally glue to her. And then there was a bunch of liquor in her luggage. So

what people think happened was that she was a, some kind of like cell phone smuggler who got way too lit on a bus like on booze and like died with a bunch of iPhones glued to her body.

So apparently like that's a thing that happens. What if she's just a mutant and iPhones like grow from her body like fly to her and get stuck on her

you know what that you know what that mute will be called gave her a heart attack you know what that mutin would be called iPhone oh you I hate how simple and clever it is all at the same time

monster that is all I have and RIP yeah that would be a much more effective mutant power than you'd think because like anytime your enemy is like I'll I got to look up like the the reactive weight of radium or whatever so I can thwart your planet you're just like no you can't

he's a refurbished iPhone 9 oh dude and then you give it to the guy who everybody forgets is there when they look away and the iPhone is just gone forever and they'll never know you'll never be able to use Apple pay or whatever you can make money pretty quick too I feel like yeah yeah yeah yeah even if they're refurbished like that's a couple hondo apiece probably at least at least uh so to round us out today abby's going to be reading a story from r slash cheluminati pod where you can go if you're listening to this in real time and post your l a listener story for la month we're currently one one week before uh manson two one week after manson one in mathis does los angeles with abby denton uh so if you're there with us in real time and our andromedas are in sync uh

Go leave a story about Los Angeles in the pinned post at the top. But Abby's going to be reading for us a non-Los Angeles story today from Yoka the Changeling called UFO Encounter. Feel free to read it on the pop. Thank you, Yoka, the Changling. May I say Yoka the Changling, I'm a tremendous fan of your, your username. It just sounds cool. It sounds like one of Sonic the Hedgehog's friends.

It sounds like a good long, long history one that's been with them for a while. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It feels like the type that I would see, like, in sixth grade, like, that people would keep till they're, like, older. Like, it's like a old. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I had one of those. Oh, God. I bet Yoka the Changeling was, like, in one of the Sonic Arcade games that, like, like, no one had.

Because it was, it had a track ball so no one could bring it over. You couldn't leave the cabinet. And so, like, no one, no one believed anyone that there was this, like, secret Japanese character that no one knew about. Yocha the changeling. And then you're like, oh, yeah, Yoka the changeling. all these fan characters. And then years later, you're like, there's a guy on my face?

You found a trading card at the Mitsua. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I have no idea what voice you have, Yoko of the Changeling. So I will simply try to sound cool. Hell yeah. I feel like these types of stories

are a dime a dozen, but I thought, why not throw it into the pile anyway? Maybe some details will catch your eye. It's a story that happened to a father of my friend, and I know how it sounds, that I heard it from a guy who heard it from a guy, But I actually know the father in question personally, and while I heard it from my friend first, I've talked with his father about it as well.

So, here we go. It happened in early 2000s in a small town in the middle of nowhere in Eastern Europe, where I grew up. Our small town is surrounded by even smaller villages, and the family of my friend owns a house in one of those villages. They use it as a summer vacation spot and also grow vegetables and berry bushes, and the place needs maintenance, so during the summer they are often there for one reason. or another. So on one weekend, the father of my friend was there by himself for something, and he decided to go back as it was already dark. He got into his car and drove back to town. Now, there are no streetlights or really any light sources on these roads, so the only thing to see is a patch of the road illuminated by headlights. But at some point, somewhere in the front and to the

side of him in the field, he saw something. It was a circle of light shining down onto the grass coming from somewhere above. He couldn't see what it was coming out of, but his initial thought was that it was probably a light attached to a helicopter. Now encountering, sorry. Just said sensible, sorry. Yeah. So encountering a helicopter is pretty common around our town. We have a, in quotes, secret air base not too far away, and they fly around pretty

regularly. And I would like to expand on this if either of you have insight on this. Yeah. It's like one of those, like, I imagine, like, Wright's Patterson Air Force Base that's like, everybody knows the Air Force Base is there, but he's also supposed to be, like, secretly doing secret alien tech. and stuff like that. Everybody knows it's there,

but it's also classified, like Area 51. Now that I think about it, I used to work in Moon in Pittsburgh, which is like right by the, the civic airport. But I think there is also an air base near there that like all the roads are sort of routed around it

and there's not really, there's probably a sign like at the front, but they don't really want to add to that. It has a ghostly presence. It has a notorious presence, right? They don't have an Instagram is the main reason no one knows about them. Because that's a community events,

no farmer's markets. I put secret. in quotes, because while it once was meant to be hidden, it's away from all main roads and hidden from view by trees on all sides. In the age of satellite imaging, it is not so secret anymore and you can easily find it. But back to my friend's father. While at first he thought it was a helicopter, he wasn't hearing a helicopter. Sure, he was in a car with the engine turned on, but from that distance, you would certainly hear it. I agree, Yoke at the Changeling, my mysterious friend. I wonder what your navigation ability would be in Sonic, no, sorry. Do you think that

they have like a home form as a changeling or do you think that yeah you know like maybe they they present as a hedgehog but like really they're like some kind of goo or something like matrix from superman i would love an odo the changeling um from star trek drawn in the sonic style yes like like a like a extreme the circular sonic adventure sonic but it's odo i've never related more to a character design now my friend's father didn't think much of it it was far away from the road, and he was going to be gone from here in minutes anyway. But then the light started moving towards the road his car was driving on. He still kept driving, seeing that with the speed it's moving, it will pass over the road way before he gets there, assuming that it will probably just

fly by the road and keep flying onto the field on the other side. He even thought, maybe he'll see what the light is coming from while it's flying by. But once the light had reached the road ahead, it stopped. And that's when my friend's father started to get worried. He quickly stopped his car. there was still some distance between his car and the light. He did not want to get any closer to it. He hoped that it would just fly away, but it kept hovering above the road. And I'm realizing now that this is describing the setup to the greatest American hero where the light shines above them and gives them magic pajamas. But I suppose even if that was what happened, the friend's father wouldn't be allowed to talk about it.

You know, he's not allowed for his secret to get out. Rather, I should say that my friend's father only saw the circle of light on the road and was only a assuming that something must be hovering above it. The road was small, just barely big enough for two cars to not crash into each other as they pass by, and the light was covering the entire road, even lighting up some grass on the sides. It was still quiet. There was no noticeable sound coming from this light. He and the light sat like this for some seconds or minutes. He was getting more and more worried, and he's not sure how long the stalemate lasted, but eventually the light started to move again. And to my friend's father's horror, it was moving toward his car. In a mad

panic, he started turning the car around, and as soon as he could, he slammed the gas at the opposite from light direction. In the rearview mirror, he saw that the light was gaining onto him for a moment, but as his car gained speed, it started to fall behind and sometime later was gone from view entirely. He kept driving, though. He had no intentions of turning back, which meant he now had to find a different road to get back to town. It took him almost a whole extra hour to find his way back to town, and by that time it was already past midnight. Once he was back home, as my friend says, he was pale, and he wasn't talking. He went into the kitchen and he sat there, calming down, and only after some minutes of catching his breath did he tell what it happened.

He doesn't know what the light was, but obviously everybody, including my friend, instantly jumped to a UFO theory. This, I think, is a good time to mention that while I'm not super close with my friend's father, I at least know he is not the type to make things up, and I haven't heard any kind of story like this from him before or since. And when we talked about it, he genuinely felt shook and confused about the whole thing. And while the UFO theory sounds compelling, I'd like to shine a light on another possibility, While this doesn't fully explain it, since some details don't quite add up,

as I've mentioned, there is a secret air base nearby, and as you know, a lot of technology is first used in the military before being brought to civil markets. So, what if it was an early drone prototype? While drones aren't silent, they are much quieter than a helicopter, and it's possible not to hear one over the engine of a cheap car with bad cabin soundproofing. It can also easily carry a light and not be visible in the night.

The only details that don't add up are that it's early 2000, I feel like this is a bit too early for any kind of drones but maybe some historians of military tech can pitch in. I know they show up in Metal Gear Solid 2 sorry. Those are obviously not real.

We just talked about the 1956 drone that was used as a gun or whatever because it was radio controlled back. Yeah, the Palmdale one was a drone. Yeah, it was like they drove from, it's just like our old school drone controlled by radio wave and stuff. But yeah, they had drones then.

It was the size of an airplane kind of. And even though the Metal Gear Solid 2 drone isn't a real drone like it must have been based on some sort of it looks yeah it looks enough like a real drone that i believe that there were things that looked kind of like the drones we know right yeah another detail is if it was a secret drone prototype why would it go towards a car on the road it definitely saw it and intentionally went for it and it kept going as it was driving away if it was some secret test wouldn't it be flying away from potential witnesses i'm not sure but that's the

story i hope it was an interesting read and i think it's clear to me what happened weather balloon Yeah, oh, easy. Because my dad didn't seem so lonely in the early 2000s, and now I know why. He was looking for that light was trying to pick him up. It was trying to chat him up. Yeah, well, the thing is military tech, eastern European country, I don't know, in the early 2000s in a small town in the middle of nowhere with the secret base. It's Shatilu. Yeah, it could be.

On the explanation. Yeah, it could be. I mean, I'm just like, nothing about it. Like, if you did encounter something you weren't supposed to see, wouldn't they chase you for a minute? Wouldn't they chase you off at least? Yeah. And they might even want to, like, test their capabilities of it, too. Yeah.

So, you know, kind of spooky. Kind of good. I like that. It doesn't feel that UFO coded, if you know what I mean. Yeah, no, that's why I like it. It was like just weird enough where it's like, yeah. Those are the kinds of stories that stick out, though. Yoka.

There's the small amount of, not motivation, but like, agency that, the light has gives me a lot of, that's fun. When, yeah, it's, when, uh, doomsday hits, uh, supergirl, uh, in the death of Superman, she reverts to her like original form. Can I just say Matrix Supergirl best Supergirl? Like it's, she's so real, like I've never felt closer to a comic character. I like Matrix Supergirl just fine. I didn't know that she was Matrix when I first read the death of Superman.

That rules. Yeah. So when Doomsday just punches her and she, like, explodes into like a clay, like, I don't know, doll form, it, like blew me away. But that's what I can't stop thinking about when I'm thinking about, Yoku the Changeling. I'm into it. Yoga the Changeling. I want to read your mini-series. Yeah, I want to read that six-issue Sonic Adjacent Archie Comics starring you as like a spy, kind of like a Wild Storm comic.

All right, Abby, thank you so much for joining us again. Alex, Mike, it's been a pleasure. Thank you so much. Yeah. Thank you, listener for supporting us on Patreon. We love you. And if you are listening to this in the far future, go check out Abby's new show at the Hollywood Fringe Festival next year that she's going to do. And tentative title, Bunny Girl.

Bunny Girl. Okay. Look at that. And what if this, like, completely works out as a plug for your show Bunny Girl for next year? I would be so happy. Yeah, that would be amazing. Yeah, we'll see you there. See you guys later.

Thank you guys so much. Appreciate you to love you. Bye. Bye.