Chilluminati Podcast - Midweek Mini: The TOP 10 Best Places to Survive a UFO Invasion

Episode Date: September 18, 2025

Jesse, Alex and Mike dissect the best places to stay safe during a UFO invasion. Are you safe? All you lovely people at Patreon! HTTP://PATREON.COM/CHILLUMINATIPOD Heroforge - http://www.heroforge.com Promocode: Chill Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - http://www.youtube.com/user/superbeardbros Editor - DeanCutty http://www.twitter.com/deancutty Show art by - https://twitter.com/JetpackBraggin http://www.instagram.com/studio_melectro

Hello yeah don't remember oh hey no yeah yeah oh hey

no no hi hi hi there hi there someone told me a Harrison Ford

impression is just Jennifer Coolidge with gruff and I can't unhear it I I get it oh gee

oh gee oh gee you got just do it in his oh god No, no, that just sounds like Dr. Girlfriend. I don't know what you're talking about, Chooey. Yeah, see?

Chewy, we're home. It's me, Harrison Ford, you're fan of redact. I was on solo. Fucking, what's his name from Independence Day? Oh, I'm going to call my mother. Alex, what do you start us out today? What? Who's starting us out?

I got one. That's kind of cool. You guys know this guy? King Tutt, right? Married in his jemmies. Yeah. So, mysterious, cursed king, maybe child king. What do we know about this guy?

It was, his tube was found by Howard Carter, and it was, like, filled with artifacts. He has the very famous death mask. I remember there was some contention over whether it was even originally supposed to be his face at one point. Nobody knows exactly how King Tut does. but there is DNA testing that has just been revealed that may finally tip the scales in this for once and for all. First Jack the Ripper, now King Tut, bro. Yeah, I mean, so I guess, let's see what's going on here.

Why are we talking about this now? Why is this picked up everywhere? It says the study happened in 2010 at Cairo University and they took tissue samples from the remains and they found multiple genetic evidence of multiple bouts of malaria and uh you know there wasn't a cure for malaria back then and uh apparently the test shows is from the guy who's doing the king tut exhibition right now said his name's tim baddy he says the test showed that too uncommon was infected with malaria that may have killed him so that's

kind of what people are thinking about uh they also found out that his grandparents were aminhotep the third and t and the queen uh to aminhotep the third uh they also both died of malaria, which is kind of interesting. And also, there's genetic results that suggest that he is the son of an anonymous mummy that's in Tomb KV-55 that's in the Valley of the Kings, which is interesting. But there's also other research that links him to the, what's the name of the pharaoh? The weird one. Everybody knows this guy.

He's very famous. He did everything weird. He, like, changed everybody's look. Caligian? Yeah, basically, he was kind of like Caligula, but he was like the Egyptian version. He like, we have ours. We have ours right now. Everybody gets their own Caligula.

No, hold on, hold on. I got this. Hotel. I think it's, I think it's Akhen Hatten, right? Sure, that is one of them. I just don't know which one's the one that changed everything. He, like, moved the capital to like another, yeah, Bubba Hotep. He moved the capital to another city and he changed the, like, like, I think it was

like monotheistic for like a hot, second, which was like kind of weird for ancient Egypt. But he was like an uncle at the very least of King Tup, and they think he might be his father. I mean, there's, it definitely can be hard to pinpoint exactly because they were inbreeding like crazy. No, and that's exactly right. It's like the DNA test showed that there was a bunch of inherited diseases and stuff that had to do with inbreeding. One of these conditions that came from inbreeding was something called cooler disease, which is like a bone disorder in like the foot of a kid that like stops blood from going to part of the foot and then it gets necrotic. And there was CT scans

done of him that showed that he did maybe have necrosis of the left foot. And there also were canes found in his tomb. And there was also a pharmacy that was in his tomb that he was supposed to use in the afterlife. And so interesting. That's what the genetics show. But the theories are, Mainly, there's a malaria theory, but it's probably that he had malaria and died, but like how common was that in ancient Egypt, who fucking knows? It's also possible that he was murdered, according to Egyptologist Robert Breyer or Breyer that said that there was damage on the back of his skull that looked like it was a blow to the head.

Maybe his successor did it, who was like a military slash courtier type guy who, like, wanted to be the pharaoh. or this other guy Horemheb who's in the court who was supposed to be his like provisional air and maybe like was also trying to get in there or his sister wife

Ankhaz Sennamun Anaksunamun Oh hey Anksinamun With their famous letter to the Hittites Trying to take over Egypt She also made a play But they actually think that

The skull damage that they saw actually was actually just during mummification like somebody had to get in there so maybe not that one but a similar one is a chariot crash that showed that his body maybe was like consistent with like

you know a crash that might occur on a chariot which was like the same thing as like hot rod racing it's like kind of like a rich boy sport for elites in ancient Egypt was chariot racing and there was a bunch of chariots in his tomb and there's pictures of him riding it.

He had some of his ribs were missing. He had a broken leg. His heart was gone. Maybe he bled out in a chariot race, maybe. But they also found that some of the ribs that are missing now were there at one point and that maybe people stole some of the stuff that they thought were injuries. Also, maybe he just got infected from a broken leg or something like that. Is another theory because, you know, back then,

that could kill you. And then most likely, like, according to genetics and stuff, it was just like a bunch of shit that was going on. He possibly had Marfan syndrome, Kleinfelter syndrome, Frolic syndrome, scoliosis, anemia, a broken leg, malaria. He could have had all those things just from being a fucking ancient Egyptian guy. He also maybe had a temporal, maybe he also had temporal epilepsy because apparently he had, like light visions and so did many of his relatives had like these like crazy visions so maybe

they had like some kind of genetic epilepsy um and epilepsy itself you know can cause you to choke or even just die by you know so who knows who knows but that's what's going on in king tut world that's crazy though and we still have like stuff coming out about king tutt it's forensics too we Which is interesting. Weird. Yeah. It's interesting because it's forensics. Yeah.

It was in weird timing with the, having just done the Jack the Ripper stuff. Jesse, what do you have? Gentlemen, I come to you today with two fun things. First, totally not sci-fi, totally not to paranormal, totally not nothing, but truly the best of humanity in Japan. This sounds great to me so far. Yeah.

In a one of their very fun prefectures, they have created Pokemon-esque cards for all the elderly men in the community. I love this already. It is so cute. People keep sending me this. Yeah. I haven't looked into it. They are like collectible cards with guys from the community and the kids love it. They are going around, buying them up.

They're talking about which of the men is stronger than the other men. there's some really funny bits here and they see them too in the street what now are they real guys yeah these are real ass people so for example there's take firewall card for example it features mr honda 74 a former fire brigade chief who helped keep the town safe

for decades there's soba master mr takashita 81 who runs the local soba needle making class and now holds legendary status among the town's youth there's all rounder mr Fuji, 68, a former prison officer turned community volunteer, his card is so sought after that local kids have started asking him for autographs. That's awesome. It's super cute. That's awesome.

I would love that. Yeah, there's, you know, the plasma conductor, which is just a smiling, bespeckled dye in front of a light bulb. Because that's like what he did. It is so, so sweet. And I love that it's, you know, I would love a few more old ladies on here. I've seen a few badass old ladies in Japan. I think they should be on there too, but that should be the first, that should be the very first expansion. That is amazing.

I'm like looking at these. This is so cute. Yeah, I'm in love with it. It's very well done. I just figured we start with something nice. But also, hey. The poses, dude. I'm sure the two of you have seen this.

And if you haven't, I'm just going to report to everyone else. For the last two weeks, this has popped up on my feed so many times. um which states would survive an alien invasion there's a score now you can it's all scored survive how would you even know how would you even how don't worry it's all nonsense but i figured we'd share because it's fun nonsense i'm like they can't no right so it's based off of a bunch of different things like forestry bodies of water the share of figures who might be useful in case of an extraterrestrial attack such as scientists and military forces bases etc now in my mind i would think like the movie independence day where they just blow up all the bases and you're more

of a target but like whatever um so they talked about between uh as of november 2024 there were 1,600 reports of UFOs according to uh the pentagon more than half were between 2023 24 uh may 2023 and june 24 uh may 23 and june And so, basically, the researchers that giga calculator, whatever the hell that is, have spoken, and they have listed the top 10 best places to survive based on all sorts of things that would help you. Okay. All right. Number one, I don't believe this for a minute. Virginia.

Virginia, right across the water. Yeah. Like, Virginia, Maryland, gone. There's no way they exist. But whatever. They say Virginia would last because the average duration of UFO sightings and UFOs per people, like per 1,000 people, very high, right? Which to me says, what kind of criteria is that? What is this?

But more importantly, it has 29 caves to hide in. It has 0.63% of it is covered by forest, 0.08 by water. but it does have 17 military personnel for every 1,000 people and two law enforcement personnel for every 1,000 people, four scientists and eight engineers per 1,000 people, and 25 healthcare professionals per 1,000 people. So they get an 8.06 out of 10 for an alien score based on all that information.

Again, gibberish, but I thought it was funny. Yeah, why Virginia, like cave amounts? What about the desert? Like, what about? Well, they say, for example, example, Nevada, one of the worst ones. You would die, Nevada ranks at the bottom. You would, it would be the end of you.

Mostly because you'd run out of food and water and stuff too early. Cool. Okay. Now, Alabama, 35 caves, more caves, less water, but more forest area. The difference here is their healthcare professionals are very high, comparative to 1,000 people. It's 26. Massachusetts is 35. And more scientists and engineers than any other.

state. But they also have the most law enforcement per 1,000 people at three. Now, the funny thing is, this is my favorite one. Florida makes it into the top 10. Oh, yeah. Okay. Florida ranked among the most likely survival of an alien invasion, placing six of the score of 7.5 out of 10. The state has had 3.6 UFO sightings per 10,000 people, averages 4.42 minutes of seeing those UFOs. And it is not nearly the hot spot that Vermont is, according to this article, but when it comes to hiding spots, Florida boasts roughly 0.2 area covered by water and 0.5% covered by forest and 12 caves. For protection, two law enforcement people per 1,000, two scientists, 27 health care, all of that. They're like, this will help us survive. I think that's goofy. But the

best one is, apparently Vermont has the most UFO sightings at 9.5. out of 10,000 people. So out of every 10,000, nine to 10ish have seen a UFO. I wonder if they just have a low-ass population. Vermont for sure does, but still Yeah.

I, uh, yeah. See, I looked over this and I was like, this is so stupid, but I figured I'd share because it keeps showing up. No, I love it. Yeah. I love stuff like this. Yeah.

I wish that, I wish that real experts would weigh in on stuff like this. Sure. I love, I love, I love this type stuff. I would love somebody to take it seriously one time. I think none of it would matter. If they have technology to destroy, like, what is the cop going to do to a laser beam?

There's so many questions. Like, what does it even mean? Yeah. But to round off the top ten, it's Virginia, Alabama, Massachusetts, New York, which I don't believe for a minute. Minnesota, Florida, Wisconsin, North Carolina, Alaska, and Georgia. How are we not? It's probably the only one I believe in that

entire list. Alaska feels good. How are we not even on there just based on sheer numbers, like sheer population? I think they're assuming that we would get, I mean, because we're a target. I think it's just based off of targets, but that's not what they included. They didn't include targets on here because, again, Virginia would be gone. Massachusetts, New York, gone. Right.

You know, North Carolina, Georgia, gone for just military assets alone. It doesn't make any sense, but I thought it was cute. So here we are. It is. I wish I could believe it. Florida to me would be like the last place I would ever go in for an alien invasion. They just sink it. Honestly, no, they'd fight those guys. Be like, come on, pirate brothers.

And they'd fight back. Come on, pirate brothers. Yeah. All right. Well, to end us, we haven't done a dream in a while. And a dream was dropped. Delightful. And I only read the first couple sentences.

Dream drop distance, maybe. And probably, you know, we'll see if I regret it or not. So this is from Speedster Zay over on our. subreddit says Hi, so I've been watching your podcast for about four weeks and I'm finally at the 200th episode mark and I noticed that I believe his name is

Jesse interpret his dreams. That's me. Yeah. I believe the man is called Jesse. The rare person doesn't know you from gaming first. Well, I'd like to hear his thoughts on this dream. I give you full permission to use this sort of episode or something if you want to. So my girlfriend, me and two other people, one is a guy and the others were a we're constantly breaking into this person's house in this dream but it really wasn't their

house they were just showing it to people to buy because it was actually my house our dad and mom's house we just had to leave there for a couple hours each day that sounds like a dream yeah so far like a dream but because we don't all want to split up uh what that's as a typo because we all don't want to split up our friendship as in i didn't want to move if they didn't want to lose me we decided to keep breaking in and doing stuff to make sure people didn't want to buy it and we'd escape the same way we slide out the window to jump on the floor yeah so they're moving they don't want to move him and his friends would go in there and make the house look bad so people didn't want to buy it um and then we uh run to the right off the fence that was right by a log and then we'd run

around the back of the house the neighbor's house then we'd go on the side street and walk like we weren't doing anything there was this one time that i did this i brought up uh my girlfriend over it It was two girls and a guy, another friend, and the guy was a pothead, okay? The other girl was, I don't even know, I don't even really know. She didn't even mean anything to me, but one that I had brought was sexy as hell. And so I brought her to my room and she pulled her pants and shirt and she was all like, hey, I got a really cool trick. I want to see. And I was like, yeah, she made cat ears come out of her head and a cat tail that was like right below her spine.

And it was like three feet long, but we still did our thing and stuff. And then we hear the buyers coming to look. So we pull the window down, jump out, land on the grass, and run to the right and hop the fence by the lawn. It cut to another scene where I met this guy that I was, I did a delivery to, like actually in the real world job, I had made a delivery to him. And he gave me like these two no big round rings and two small rings in real life to hold them for work. so I went back to the house and I held them and I was thinking to myself, how am I going to remember this? How am I going to remember to grab these for work? So I put them on my backpack. So I hopped in bed and fell asleep when I woke up. I was walking down the street and the ground

is wet. The fuck is chaos. This is a complex dream. It's very complex to read. I didn't have, I didn't have on shoes, but I had on socks. And this is the point where I realized it was actually a dream. My feet were not getting wet. Okay. So I continue. walking and I like here so I'm loose to dreaming now I guess I'm aware in the dream so obviously the first thing I do is I try to conjure up a bad guy and we have a very we have very violent vicious sex I'm like to get too many details about that but it was good so then I go back to walking down the street and my socks in a car pull up to the right of me and drives at the same pace then I'm walking then I look over and it's Jason like from the horror movie

looking at me. From the horror movie, dude. We're still both going in the same direction. Then he pulls off his bandage on his left side slowly starts unwrapping his face mask thing. That was more like bandages. And then he like jerks the wheel. And he almost ran me off the road. If you don't know what the.

So Jesse missed your friend check out. Yeah. That's like, so what is the, that's basically the end of the dream. And then he babbles about something. That was chaos. The first two sentences when I read it were more promising. and then it just fucking unraveled. I would assume that this dream is,

like, I mean, just based off the idea of it being a house, that's your own house that you're breaking into because it's being sold, the house could represent you, like your own personal life, and then the you know breaking into it is trying to regain control of that and preventing it from being sold

okay I like where you're going I look where your head is at yeah it's like you fear losing something right or a major change and so you don't want like you lack control over parts of your life like this thing is coming and

in order to take back parts of your life you have to go in and steal from it um i don't have like the cat girl transformation thing i mean i guess it could be like a desire for you're putting a lot of effort into this ed jessie i'm trying i wrote down notes yeah like it could be a desire for you that that change that you're seeking in your own life seeking it outside as well um obviously i feel like having to then run from the it's It's you found something that you really desired and you want, and then immediately you had to run because people were coming to look at the house. And maybe there's like, you're threatened by those external forces, right?

Either way, I feel like, um, it seems like you're reflecting on stability in your own house and that, like, that's you. And you have all these desires and things you want to do, but it's fleeting and it's, you know, you're having fun, but you're also, you have a lot of. problems you're dealing with. So I would ask you, what's going on in your life that's causing you to feel this way? What kind of relationships do you have right now that are causing you to feel this way? Is there anyone in your life you might associate with the man in your dreams giving you the rings or that responsibility of holding them, right? Things like that. I feel like this is definitely a personal dream. Despite it being like they're sexy girls and I'm running around.

Jason's there. It feels incredibly personal. Like this is you are going through some shit. Yeah. You know what, Jesse, I applaud you. That was, I didn't.

It's true. There's holes. There's holes, but you did a solid. I feel the analysis was solid. There's definitely holes. I could, I followed about one eighth of what was going on.

More than I could follow and I was reading it. I was trying to figure out what the fuck was happening. All right. Well, thank you, Jesse. And thank you for the dream friend from a disc, dump discord,

Reddit, our subreddit. And thank you all for supporting us right here at patreon.com slash IlluminatiPod. We'll be back on the new minisode next week. We appreciate it. We love you. Bye.