Chilluminati Podcast - Midweek Mini: Who Gets to Speak for Us?

Episode Date: September 2, 2026

This Minisode was originally uploaded with Episode 254: The Disclosure Day Review - some of the topics discussed might be outdated. Subscribe to our Patreon to listen and watch the Minisodes as they release every week! http://patreon.com/CHILLUMINATIPODMike Martin - http://www.youtube.com/@themoleculemindset Jesse Cox - http://www.youtube.com/jessecox Alex Faciane - https://www.youtube.com/@StarWarsOldCanonBookClub/Editor: DeanCutty Producer: Hilde @ https://bsky.app/profile/heksen.bsky.social Show Art: Studio Melectro @ http://www.instagram.com/studio_melectro Logo Design: Shawn JPB @ https://twitter.com/JetpackBragginLINKSThe Seventh Still Lives: https://www.reddit.com/r/ChilluminatiPod/comments/1u8ha5l/mysterious_call_the_seventh_still_lives_listener/First Contact Plan: https://www.ibtimes.co.uk/alien-discovery-scientists-update-first-contact-plan-prevent-global-panic-1803060Magnifica Humanitas on AI: https://www.vatican.va/content/leo-xiv/en/encyclicals/documents/20260515-magnifica-humanitas.html#Artificial_intelligence

Notice, notice, this midweek mini was recorded several months ago and may not be up to date with current events. For fresh minisode uploads with every episode, head to patreon.com slash Chaluminati pod. Everybody too minisone. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Uh, yeah, yeah. No. No. I got another great listener story for you from the channel. I read it if you guys are ready for one of those because this one is kind of neat. Okay. This one's from Parasoshi on our subreddit, which is a great username.

But here we go. This story happened just today and it is really creeping me out because it is just bizarre to me. I wanted to share it on here to see what other people think. And if the boys want to read it on the pod, find by me an honor really because I'm a very big fan of you guys. If there are any updates, I'll notify you in the comments. Great. This didn't happen in the USA. I live in the north of Germany and it did not happen to me either. I was only told about it. It happened to my grandmother. I was visiting her after I got home from college. I think that's the American equivalent of second secondarstuff. Not sure though.

Sorry if that's not how you pronounce that. I'm just going to do one crack and that's it on the German. I'm so sorry. I visited her because my parents, aren't there the whole week and I felt like I should just check in on her. So I sit down on the couch in her living room. By the way, everybody takes care of their old people better than Americans. So I sit down, yeah, in general. Some people take great care of their old. Especially North Korea.

Oh, yeah. I don't know anything about that and I don't have a comment. So I sit down on the couch in her living room and she starts telling stories about things that happened to her in her life. I nod and smile and listen. She cannot really socialize well anymore. And having a real conversation is difficult, but I did my best to say a few things here and there. And I think me just being there was well and good for her.

Then she says, you know what was really weird today? I go, what? She says, I got a phone call today. I pick up and the person on the other line says, he says, he says, Simusen, see kind of sorg and makken to sip de leip knock. Good job. No idea if it is or isn't.

but I will congratulate myself anyway, which translates from German to, you do not have to worry yourself. The seventh one is still alive. Okay. My grandma told him, my grandma told him, you are an idiot and hung up.

She thought it had been a prank caller. I protested. Well, it may have been a genuine call for someone else. Was the voice old or young? She told me it had been the voice of an adult man. That seems strange to me because her explanation of it being a prank call was weakened.

Usually those are done by adolescence, not adults. But my theory of it being a genuine call was also seeming unlikely to me, even while I suggested it. For one, there was no sort of introduction, no hello, you, it's me, and saying their names or anything like that. And second of all, if it had been a fake call, that would mean the guy must have misdialed.

that's very difficult to do for my grandma's phone number because it is a very old one and it only had three numbers in it. So, interesting. Oh. Yeah. The thing the man said also gave me an ick. The seventh died does not sound like anything a scammer or prank caller would say, at least to me.

And I found it so strange, I exclaimed a very befuzzled, what? And almost got up from the couch. And just to be clear, what the guy said was, you do not have to worry yourself. The seventh one is still alive. They say the seventh died. I don't think that's exactly right.

I exclaimed a very befuzzled, what? And almost got up from the couch. At this point, the most likely theory I had going was this. Most of the day, my grandma only sat on the couch and watched television.

She was constantly telling the rest of the family would have been on the telly today. Since a few months, her short-term memory has taken a hit, and I thought maybe she had just seen this story on TV and was telling me about it, now because she thought it was something that really happened to her. Then, while I was still at my grandmother's house, my working hypothesis was shattered. She got another call. She got it, listened for a few

seconds, and then hung up. I asked her who it was, and she said, the same person again. This time, he said, Iner de Siebenist Gistorben, translating to one of the seven ones died. Okay. Maybe I should add that that's just what I was told. by my grandma. I did not actually hear the second call either. I was just next to her when it happened. So it doesn't rule out that she could have misunderstood or made something up. What do you all make of this? Maybe I'm being crazy, but this whole thing seems just weird, isn't it? And then there's an edit. And she says, or they say, I know I'm overreacting slash reaching, but I just realized that in my immediate family, there are only seven people, my two brothers,

the girlfriend of one of them, she's part of the family, my two parents, my grandmother, and me. creepy. Hmm. So one thing I wanted to at least bring up, even though this was only posted today. So this happened today. Maybe they were watching the boys. I mean,

the seven, yeah, maybe. Maybe they're watching the boys. Maybe like whoever was calling was like watching the boys. How, but how long ago was this? Today.

No, I mean, that's when it happened or when they were told this was posted seven hours ago and that was today in this story the grandma told told this person about their first call and then while they were sitting there today the grandma got the second call understood okay yeah i was wondering if it if it happened like the story was told today but it happened a while ago but happened the last month when the series finale happened. It's like, it's like evening right now as we're recording this.

This was seven hours ago. So in Germany, it was probably like evening today. Yeah. But yeah, I don't know. Like, I had to at least bring up that the boys has a superhero team in it called the

seven and it's like a huge show. I don't know how big it is in Germany. I don't know if old people watch it like that because the boys is like, I'm feeling probably not. I haven't seen the show the boys, but I read the comic. And if it's anything like, like the comic, it's probably pretty rauncheulous.

Yeah. It's real raunchy and bloody, but it is, it changes so much from the comic. Well, yeah, even if you just watch a couple episodes, you can see that. But like the, I, something about Germany, I remember it being like quite a censored place for that type of thing. And so I can't imagine the boys is like huge with old people in Germany. Maybe. I don't know.

That's the only, the only thing that left out to me was that they were talking about TV shows in this very post. And then it's true. It's all about the seven. And I haven't seen the boys, but I know enough about it to know who the same. Oh, yeah, you read the comics,

so you know the seven. I know who the fucking seven are. Yeah, exactly. I read the boys for all the years that it was coming out, and across three publishers with many years of delays in between. That's crazy. I don't know how true it is and you can't answer it because you've never seen the show.

I only know what I've researched about the comic, but I hear the show is so much better than the comic. Plenty of plenty of members of the seven die in the show, the boys. I, um, oh yeah. the the comic the show's better for sure i don't like the way the last season the show was oh yeah it's still significantly better than the source material if that makes any sense a much bigger thing

than the than the comic ever was yeah that's true too very very true i think there's only like 13 issues of the comic or something oh man oh wow okay it's like not very long like yeah it's like not it's not a on it's not like a huge thing it was just like a kind of a hit it's crazy and i think who's whose fault is this set rogan is it always Seth Rogen's fault he has his dude Seth Rogen has his fingers in like a lot of great fucking projects

like invincible also like he's in that I mean the man has money and he decided to use it to make things he likes so like I get that that's great imagine his Superman was bad that's like I'm so done with what a Superman was bad yeah but that's

what a Superman was bad is like to now what zombies were to like 2013 the message of the boys last season was empathy actually. Like that's what could have saved homelander was like empathy. Right. And and the real

homelander. But I think. Yeah. Well, that's all too late. I think. I think it's God. V1 doesn't exist in real life. My God, no shit. Oh my God. No shit. Jesse, what do you have? Oh, wait, real quick. No, yeah. Yeah. Sorry. I did want to bring up one other thing. Yeah, please. That this reminds me of. I don't think

this is what this is. But have you, you know, the what are they called the mudfish or whatever? is in The Simpsons. Do you know what I'm talking about? Oh, no. I know. No, the movie they're not called the mudfish, but it's like, it's like one of those war movies where like three kings. Okay, yes, yes, yes, yes. The fighting mud, whatever. Yes, yes. I know exactly what you're talking about. Yeah. And it's like a promise. And like Mr. Burns is in it somehow, right? Or something like that. Yes. Like when he's young. And he's like private burns or something. And it's like, they all had a secret on the battlefield that they like kept. And they each like were one of the keepers of the secret. And until Abe Simpson was the last guy left or Abe and Abe and Mr. Burns was the last guy left, right?

It's like like a secret society that like was formed around a secret. And then like members of the circle die and so they call each other. That's the only other thing I could think. Hellfish is what they were called. Hellfish. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

I was close. You were close. I was like I had to know because that's actually one of my favorite episodes. It's a great episode of the sections. Yeah. ever seen it the simpsons i've seen episodes of the simpsons like i've seen me like you know but tv shows you get such a pass on because that's not the same as sitting down and watching a movie yeah fair take two hours it is the simpsons though so you sing some of it if you watch if you said

i'd see none of it i'd be like what if you saw all 25 or their 24 or whatever i said how many movies i would make a list of if you watch all of them you could watch like four seasons of the Simpsons. Like, it's like not even Yeah, that's the Yeah. I actually know which four I would recommend watching too, which is really funny. I would start with season three and

go through to six. That's what I would do. Okay. Okay. Yeah, three, four, five, six. Jesse, what do you have for us this week? Gentlemen, fitting with today's episode, but more importantly, with the world as it is right now,

according to the UK's international business times, scientists, have quietly rewritten the global rolebook for what happens if alien intelligence is ever detected, updating longstanding first contact plans in 2026. Warging into the witnesses. To prevent panic and confusion in an era of deepfakes, social media storms, and instant viral rumors.

The new guidance issued by the Paris-based International Academy of Astronautics sets out how astronomers should verify an alien signal, how quickly to publicly, you know, tell people. And more importantly, what we should all do as humans when we say something back. The International Academy of Astronautics first adopted its post-detection principles in 1989, then updated them in 2010 and now have updated them again in 2026. In the latest version, the Academy says that they've spent several years talking to 350 researchers, worldwide and while the skeletons of the 1980s

agreement exist, the core expectation is if there's a signal or there's any sort of alien intelligence or whatever, we need to be rigorous about verification, we need to scrutinize everything about it, and then we all need to get together before anyone even touches a microphone to say we have information. What's changed is the recognition of how messy the process will be in real time. The guidelines now explicitly address the risk that individual scientists who report a possible detection could become targets for online harassment or worse. The Academy urges

institutions to put safeguards in place to protect researchers safety and to manage the flow of information so that rumors and hoaxes do not drown out the actual evidence, which as we know, those move much faster than truth. Alongside the scientific steps, the document calls for a creation of a post detection committee. So basically they draw on, you know, people working in SETI and that kind of thing. The idea being that once we find something, we need to get a group people together who will examine the longer term social impacts, the political and ethical implications. The, you know, what effect this will have? It's funny because it feels like these are the exact things.

Like obviously they're like, to me, very correct things. And like obviously what experts would say. but if you just gave like one dude a joint in his dorm room and you were like what do we need bro like i feel like he would put together like so far like a fairly fairly similar set of people this is just sort of them just from like common sense saying like a little like all right we just want to make sure everyone's on the same page but you're right there's nothing like too crazy here um but i the thing i actually you say don't respond to alien signals though well they say right here is is the last big advice in here and this one they say

is far thornier than data analysis, which is who, if anyone, speaks for Earth and what the hell we say back to them. One red line remains very firm. The Academy advises against sending any response to confirmed aliens until we have all had a say in this. Okay. Yeah, that's not going to fucking happen. So that's what my topic is today.

Broad international input is needed before we say anything back, explicitly pointing to the U.N. Bro. As a forum. It's too late. It's too late. If I learn aliens are out there, bro,

I'm gonna fucking, I'm responding that evening. But my fair part is that, like, in other words, no single lab, nation or tech billionaire. How very convenient.

Tech billionaire should be firing off messages into the cosmos on behalf of humanity. Uh, yeah, essentially they're just like, it's already happened. Who's your pick?

Who should be the person in charge of talking to aliens? One person. Yeah. Like a child. dude. Any child? I don't know. Like one of those child. One of those like British kids that are really charming when you talk to them, you're like, oh my God, are you an adult baby? That's the person we have. That's what we said. It's like a kid, any random kid who's like, who's fortunate enough to be at Herod's. Yeah. A random kid like on the subway. That kid is like, mommy, get up a chance. Have another sip of meat drink. Like that's the kid we need. Because that kid will be like aliens. I wonder if maybe you could tell me about your world. Like that's what I want.

What about you, I don't know who I'd send as like our, I don't, not a single person I can think of. Hear me out. Would be a good idea. Dude, I'd send Obama. I'm not even going to lie. You know what?

Hear me out. Let me dip it. I'd be like, Obama doesn't want to do that shit. I'd send him. I thought about Obama and I think he'd be good too, but if I want to dip into somebody who may have an genuine, like, real shot at understanding what these things are, I think Jacques Valet is like the real answer.

for me like the actual real person answer the guy who sits on the side of both science and philosophy who like plays with the idea that these are consciousness related in some way that would be i think my first contact go to i think probably toss up to me between dolly parton i like that i like that and alison hammond okay all right that is alison hammond is the chick she's like a presenter from the BBC. She has that famous interview with Ryan Gosselin Harrison Ford. She was on Bakeoff or I think currently is on Bakeoff. Oh, yeah, no, I know exactly what you're talking about.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think she would absolutely smash. I think you're, I think you're, but Dolly Parton, most Christ-like figure on the planet right now. Agreed. You know what? I know this sounds crazy. I could also see a dual pairing.

If you sent Keanu Reeves and Stephen Colbert. I bet the two of them would come back and be like, we got it all worked out. Don't worry about it. That's good. That would be awesome. You know, for years, they've been saying they should cast Idris for that part, but I think he's too old now. That's my joke. See you guys later. Bye. That was my fucking topic today too with the other was the sensationalist part of it. If they're like, don't respond to the aliens. Like if the aliens reach out

don't send a single bag. What if they send you back in? You fucking crazy? In Gleep-Clop language, what if they send you like, should we disintegrate you? Yes or no. Winky face. And you're like, hell yeah, baby. And then the whole planet blows up.

Maybe it's for the best. Maybe it's for the best. Maybe it's for the best. Live life to the fullest because maybe Mathis will kill us off. I want to irradiate you. You want me to irradiate you? Yes or no. Like,

what do you mean? Don't respond to them though because like if they have the technology to be, to exist and this be like in our, travel to us and shit, they would wipe us out anyway. If they were speaking English They're gonna wipe us out If they were speaking English to us

I would feel a little bit more confident If they were like hello We are the aliens from Alpha Centauri We learned your language in order to contact you Hoping to contact anyone from Earth Please let us know that you're out there Then I would write back But if they were like

And I was just like What is that? What is that? I would not be like That's the difference So you just send them henchized I would be like Mm-mm

Send them back like Side talk of their own language like gibberish of their own language. They just like come and like murder me and blow up my world. Let's hope that's not. Maybe it'll go just like Disclosure Day. Maybe. Or a geriatric alien whisper something into the boy's ear.

We watch Emily Blunt say, listen. What if what if they communicate by smell and somebody farts into the phone? If they communicate by smell, they are done and earth. It's done. Yeah. It's not going to go well for them. They're going to go to San Diego Comic Con and they're just going to like pretend like they weren't stopping and they just keep going.

What if we asked them if the refrigerator is running? They'll be like, what is a refrigerator? Kill him! It's in a great Jesse on the spot. They're like, who is Prince Albert? Let him speak for the planet. They're like, no, no. Seymour butts.

Yeah, there's too many good ones he could go to. Yeah, yeah. Some good shit. We can do a whole. Show me this Seymour Butts. Phone call for Al. Yeah. You don't want to change my mind.

I want 1990's CD sensation the jerky boys to be the first one. The jerky boys. The first ones to contact them. Hello. Hello. Hi, I'd like to return this rag on. It shoots Jizz. Jiz.

We have no music that is produced for my gun. They're like, Bhabo do. Bapababababababab. They love Jiz. They're favorite. like Eiffel 65s on Blue music video.

They would send back the Martian Hop straight away. Let me tell you right now. Do you guys know that song? No. No. You guys don't know about the Martian Hop? No. What the fuck is the Martian Hop? How do you guys not know about the Martian Hop? I feel like we have to send them like the breadth and width of humanity. You guys don't know

you don't know 1960s. You don't know 1963's The Martian Hop by the Randells. I am sorry to say I do. Like we said that. Classics. Literally, this is the best of all worlds, all wrapped into one song. Give it a little listen.

Give it a listen. Play the part for them, Dean. Play the good part. Yeah. Yeah. What's the good part on this? This is a two-minute song. Where's the good part?

Oh, it's going to start. Yeah. Okay, great. Yeah, go to like 20 seconds. Yeah. Yep. What is that? If that came over the radio, we'd be in so much trouble because I don't know what I would do.

The idea that there was a time period in American music where they, if you didn't have a guy in the backguard going, Wee, we, March it and happy. You didn't have a song. There just wasn't a song. They were like, it had to be a guy. It was like, it may, me, me, me, it may me. It's not any weird. It's not any more or less weird than today people inventing like new language.

like accents just for saying oh for sure yeah oh it's like it's what a fun form of expression suddenly i'm british yeah used to be the british guys became like pretended to be black guys but now it's like like white guys from america pretending to be like black british guys that's how you express your emotions yeah oh yeah that's all right yeah that's how you do it that's how it's He knew. Like from Camden. He would be our, that's who we send. Duh, I don't know why I didn't think of it.

Tom DeLong. No. That's who we have to send for first contact. That's, that's it. He's already in the know. He knows everything. I'll send Pete Buttigieg. He can handle it.

Probably better than Tom DeLon. Pete. No one. Davidson. No one has been able to resist. Michael Davis. Judge's PR training yet. He's great.

He could handle it. He can handle it. If Pete Buttigieg was on arrival, they would have just like made a little like embassy. I also kind of want to send the person that like, I don't know. It's got to be someone. Oh, never mind. I was about to say a name, but my brain just ADD does something complete. Do you all see the Pope this week who was like, we must defeat AI, brothers in humanity.

I was like, oh, shit. Hell yeah. That's awesome. Hell yeah. Dude, the Pope is real. The funniest thing is all over the internet now. You know, people who don't care about are like trying to get. internet clout are literally posting videos of like the war begins the war against and there's

like them in like medieval armor it's like the pope has declared war i'm like all right that's kind of funny if pope if our if this pope said the word clanker i would lose my mind that'd be awesome it would lose my mind i love i've heard the term for people who like sympathize with the i i circuit board liquor it's too it's a it doesn't roll off the time. No, it doesn't. Maybe like board liquor, chip liquor. Oh, ram liquor.

Socket poker. Ooh. I like that. We're on AI with the. Dude, this is a weird time to be living in. We've got the pre-terminator war on AI with the Pope joining us, right? As aliens are being disclosed and they're starting to show up. Everything's happening all at once.

It really makes me think back to one or the other first. Like it makes me think back to Mitch Oku and the idea of like civilization transitions and how we're a zero and in order to get to one. We have to go through some crazy shit. And most of the time, people don't make it. And I think that's like, that's where we're at right now.

We're like, I often think of like, Terence McKenna, he said in like the 80s or so, like in one of his interviews where he's like, he thinks, he says like things, he thinks things are just going to get weirder and weirder.

Look for the like AI confirmation of, uh, extraterrestrials. He's like, I think eventually it's going to get so weird that we can no longer ignore how weird everything has gone. And I think that is, like so perfectly like I keep I think of that often I'm like it is getting to that point where

shit's getting so weird we just can't not acknowledge how weird things are now Hideo Kujima could he is dude also a great candidate to go talk to the aliens really 50 50 on how it turns out but if it turns out well it might be the best he if it's a communication that he wants to direct and that he's creatively excited about I think it's going to be great but if He's forced to come back by the fandom against his wishes. I think it's going to be a bitter work. To go talk to aliens? Sure, yeah.

Whatever we're talking about. I'd say Hideo-Ko-Ko-Gima, like, tangentially could also be a great candidate to go be first contact with aliens. You want to hear Hideo-Ko-Gima's 2001 quote on the prediction of the future? Yeah. Everyone withdraws into their own small-gated community, afraid of a larger forum. they stay inside their little ponds leaking whatever truth suits them into the growing cesspool of society at large well it's unfortunately slightly on point it's extremely on point

it's extremely 25 years ago there was a ufc fight at the white house dude so in some ways that ufc fight just showed what america really fucking is idiocracy the movie 2008 but at least an The fucking president was trying. At least the water was, if we didn't have drinkable water, we had fucking sports drink. Right. Right. Like we had something. At least they were hydrated.

You know what I'm saying? Damn. All right. Thank you boys. And thank you all for listening here at patreon.com slash chulmini-pod in this minisotaub. We'll be back next week with a brand new one. Unless the internet goes down forever. Which in that case, best luck out there.

Find a QR code. We'll see you. We'll figure it out. What the fuck? All right. We're out of here. Thank you guys so much. See you next week.

Goodbye. That wouldn't work, would it? No, I wouldn't because the internet would be down. But, you know, good try. You can pick outside of the box. It happens. Yes.