Christ With Coffee On Ice - ex witch finds Jesus ft. ashley jones

Episode Date: February 2, 2024

Hey, y'all ! Welcome to another Friday with CWCOI ! In this week's episode our host, Ally Yost, is back for part two of last week's episode with special guest and friend, Ashley Jones. In this episode, we get to hear Ashley share her testimony and how she came to know Jesus. Her story is true evidence that God can and will use every bit of our sin and darkness to lead us to Him. ☆ SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PATREON ☆ : https://patreon.com/CWCOI ____________________________________________ Connect further with us ! If you would like to give to CWCOI and support the podcast, you can do so here ! ➤ https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cwcoi/support TikTok ➤ https://www.tiktok.com/@christwithcoffeeonice Instagram ➤ https://instagram.com/christwithcoffeeonice _____________________________________________ Connect further with Ally ! TikTok (1.9M) ➤ https://www.tiktok.com/@ally_yost Instagram ➤ https://www.instagram.com/ally_yost/ LTK.IT ➤ https://www.shopltk.com/explore/ally_yost Amazon Storefront ➤ https://www.amazon.com/shop/allyyost Pinterest ➤ https://www.pinterest.com/ally_yost1/_created/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cwcoi/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Okay, so now let's just talk about how, well, briefly I'll tell you how I found Ashley and how we know each other. And then we're going to get into her story because it's freaking epic because it was written by God. Okay. So I was just literally scrolling on TikTok and I found Ashley's video where you were sharing kind of like a brief version of your testimony, but how, you know, how you started in your journey with the Lord. And so I thought it was mind blowing and I was like, this is the coolest thing ever. and I clicked on your page and it said follow back. And I was like, shut up. She already knows me.

We're besties. I love her already. So I followed her back. And then I don't know. The rest was history. I just messaged you. And I actually think that there were a couple girlie pops that had tagged either me in your video or like you and mine. And they were like, we need her on the podcast.

And I was like, bet. So yeah. And honestly, it was funny because after we connected, we like pretty consistently were in touch. Like talking almost every day. Like definitely every week. you know where we were just voice memowing and it was funny because in the beginning I was like okay we need to stop because if we keep talking we're going to have nothing to talk about on the podcast L-O-L here we are and then God's like do you know you do you know her do we know each other

right we can talk on forever we're sending each other like eight-minute voice memos literally so it was good and then obviously like it was cool because we got to finally meet each other for the first time at Passion so we've only really really known each other in person for a few days which is fun and you've literally like three literally three days and she's been staying with me the last couple days since passion she drove back with me you're you're out of virginia you live in virginia yeah i'm living virginia yeah so anyway we're going to get into her testimony we're going to let you just start from the beginning and just let everybody know who you are and and everything i'm excited hey okay this is like the third time i'm going to hear it like through and through and i'm excited yeah she's kidding yeah it's cool

it's cool it's cool i think that it was cool that alley reminded me she's like this seems so normal to you because you you i grew up in it i grew up around it you'll hear about that but to me i'm like I know so many people with this testimony and I was like, I have never heard one. No. Never. Never. And it's cool because we all have that same similar story. It all seems so so common to us. It's not. So I'm excited. And I do say it all the time.

I'm like, man, I don't get to hold this story to myself because it's his and he wrote it. And he wrote it. And so it's not mine. And I don't get to filter or decide when and if I'm going to share it. That's good. He wrote it. So I'm really happy to be on here and to share it because it changed my whole life. I mean, obviously.

It's my testimony. Yeah. But he's using it. I'm so thankful. So to start out, I was, I had always grown up in the church. My grandparents were religious people. My mom and dad were not really. I never went to church with them, never really heard anything about it at home. But my grandparents always made sure I was in church, like Wednesday nights, Sunday morning, Sunday night, like I was in church. Your girl was in church. And I grew up in more of a legalistic, ritualistic, very religious denomination. And so about the time that I was

13, I was like really involved with my youth group and was going to church all the time, like I said, but I got into a relationship with a boy who was great at first. Like when I tell you great, I mean like I was in love at 13, thought I was going to marry him, be with him for the rest of my life. Yeah. I was so wise, you know, like I knew everything. At 13. 100%. So I got into a relationship with him and we ended up being together for seven years. It was about a year into our relationship where things got pretty rocky, like pretty rocky. It was around that time that I left the church because he was not a Christian. He did not grow up in a Christian household. And things got pretty rocky. It was around that time. I was about 13, 14 when he started to like be really verbally abusive,

always yelling, name calling, just like cussing at me all the time, really awful things. And then very shortly after it started to snowball. And that's what I see with a lot of like my clients for those of you that don't know, I'm a Christian life coach. And a lot of my clients too and just after studying some psychology on this, the abuse tends to like be a little drawn out. But when it starts just a little bit, it all snowballs very quickly. And that's what happened for me. And so right quickly after that, we started having sex. I started having sex when I was 15 years old. I lost my virginity. And that became abusive. So it was now verbally abusive, sexually abusive. The physical abuse came very shortly after that. It was, I mean, emotionally,

mentally, and abuse on like any front that you can think about. And it was pretty awful. And it got really bad, really quick. And so I, like I said, I left the church and I was, my identity was no longer found in God or in the religion. And I don't really want to say the faith because it was really more of religion at that point in my life. But it was really just found in this boy. And I was so like encompassed by him. Even into the abuse, I was so manipulated and so blinded that I truthfully didn't see the issues. Well, he's your first everything too. Oh, man. This is all you knew. Like, I grew up with him. You have nothing to compare it to. Yeah. Like, I learned how to do life beside him. Yeah. And so it, it tied us in a way that I could not have prepared myself for. And I also think that

having sex at such a young age, just honestly having sex outside of marriage, tied me to him in such a way that, like, I just truthfully was spiritually blinded. Yeah. Like, I couldn't see it. Yeah. You know? And that's a, that's a soul tie, you know, about 15 years old. I had been in this abuse now for about a year and a half, maybe a little longer. I remember just having no identity at that point. I was like, man, I don't know who I am. Like, I don't have God anymore. I mean, the God that I thought I knew, the church showed me that's not really who I thought he was. Like, I mean, if I'm looking at the church and seeing what I'm seeing and thinking that that's God, I don't want anything to do with him.

Yeah, you're like, I don't want anything to do with that God. That's not who I thought you were. awful right yeah and so that identity had been lost on me the one that i had previously before this relationship of just like any joy i had any personality i had any value that i felt i had in myself was just like stripped it was gone and then now this relationship that i thought was so good and i thought i was like i'm going to marry this man it's amazing i was starting to see like wait this is actually not great yeah like i feel low definitely and i didn't have the strength to leave but i could see it finally yeah about two two and a half years in and so i mean i didn't have an identity i didn't i didn't think i was lovable i didn't think that i was worthy i didn't think i didn't think i mean i just thought

i was like the worst of the worst genuinely because everything that i ever held faith in left me that's how i felt that's so real yeah it's so real and it's it's completely isolating and that's where i was and so i started to seek new identity i started to try and reinvent myself because i i i i i i i I had nothing at that point, so why not completely start over and do something I'd never done before? And so my grandmother, this is my mom's mom at the time was, and still kind of now, was a white witch. If you guys don't know what that means. Yeah, what is that? So you can be considered like a white witch, a green witch, a black witch.

And this is all surrounding. Why does it sound like Taekwondo? Well. Black belt? White belt. Like spiritual rankings? Yeah. So a little bit like that and also a little bit of attention.

So like white witches are good witches. They're the ones that do a lot of light work and a lot of like... Yeah, like they mean no harm. Right. I want to help people. I'm helping myself. And you do it through demonic power. You are completely unaware of that, but that's what it is.

And so my grandma had been a white witch. Is there a way to not? What do you mean? I just have to say this. So when you say that she was a white witch and she did things for good, but she's channeling like darkness and doesn't really know it. Is there a way to channel anything other than darkness? Or if you are channeling things, it just always will be darkness.

Yeah. Well, the Bible says that Satan comes disguised as an angel of light, right? Yup. Yeah. That's a word. Yeah. So you think that it's anything but evil. That's what you think.

But he could even disguise it as light. 100%. That's what he does. No, no, no. Like, I'm a good ghost. When you look at the identity that Satan comes to humans as, it's always appearing as something he's not. I mean, his number one tactic is deception, right? Yes.

And so he's appearing as an angel of light. The Bible also says that he comes as a wolf in sheep's clothing, right? So he never looks the way that he actually is. And that's the deception of the new age and witchcraft. And so the answer I would say is no, because even though you think it's light, even though you think it's good, it's absolutely not. And the only other thing that you can channel, and I would even hate to use that word in regards to. to channeling. Yeah.

Literally is God. It's God. It's Jesus Christ. Yep. There's only good and evil. You're not connecting with the Lord. Yeah. It's definitely darkness.

100%. Period. 100%. I just wanted that clarified. I just wanted it clarified. There's no middle ground. There's no middle ground. The only middle ground that people try and find is the universe.

But like let's not, let's not worship his creation. Let's just worship the creator. The stars don't talk. I'm sorry. No. And astrology is demonic. Yep. Period.

That's a whole other episode. Oh. As I'm sitting here with a torsable literally tattooed on my arm. And I have an astrology back here. We're all guilty of it. We didn't know. We didn't know. Okay. There's grace. There's grace. Romans 323 for all have sin and fall short of the glory of God. Okay.

Yes. It's okay. All right. So yeah, I, so. I went to her and I was like, hey, what do you do? Like, where you knew she knew she was doing this stuff. Yeah, I knew. I knew she was doing it because my whole life, even before this point, she had spoken over me a word curse that she didn't know, but she had spoken over me a word curse of like, don't run from this. And that's a word curse? 100%. Okay.

You have the gift. You're going to be able to be intuitive like this too. You're going to be able to create your own reality too. The things that you hear and see don't ignore it. And she was speaking this word curse over me. She was literally, I mean, Satan was using her. And that's the thing too, right? Generationally.

In Ephesion 6, it talks about that we don't wrestle against flesh and blood, right? So my enemy is not her, even at that time and even now. My enemy is not her. And she didn't know what she was doing. Because she also doesn't know. She doesn't know. She's deception, too. She's deceived, yeah. But it says we don't wrestle against flesh and blood, but against the powers of the darkness, against principalities, against the rulers and authority in the dark world. And so, yeah, I mean, she was speaking this word curse to onto me that Satan, Satan was trying to use her to go through her into me and affect generations in your family to literally dilute our bloodline. Yep. So that the kingdom of God couldn't prevail over it. 100%. And guess what? He succeeded for a moment. moment. Yeah. And so when I came to her and I was like, so what do you do? She was like, wow, I've been waiting

on this. And she's like, yeah, because she was even like, this is a gift. Like you have this thing. Yeah. You need to embrace it. Yeah. But the thing that was so crazy is that she wasn't wrong. And I had experienced things my whole life that nobody else did. Well, can I just say too that the enemy, I need to stop interrupting your story. No. But the enemy will always give you half truths. So when you say she wasn't wrong, there are truths that Satan will tell you. But he don't tell you. But he don't tell you. all the truth. He'll tell you enough of the truth to get you reeled in and saying, wait, this is the real deal because she's saying you got gifts, right? And you have these things about you and you must use it. But the half truth is that you got to use it to glorify God, right?

But Satan was telling her to convince you, you do have these gifts, but you got to use it over here. Right. Right. And we see that in Genesis 3. But that's a real thing. Go check that out. Yeah. And it is so true. It's so real. And so I was like amazing. Well, I'll do that then. You're like, cool. Yeah. So I was like, I'll take it on. 100%.

Yeah. And it's good. It's good. I'm going to like help people. It's good. I mean like, okay, let's just take it to Genesis 3 for a second, right? So in the garden when Eve is being deceived by the serpent, he does give that half truth. He goes, God didn't say that you're going to die.

I mean, you won't surely die. You'll just become like God knowing good and evil. And that was true that we would become knowing good. and evil. And you see the Father's Son, the Holy Spirit, actually talking about this later in Genesis, and they go, well, what do we do? They now know good and evil. Like, they are now awakened. Like, you hear the Trinity, literally speaking about this. So we know that Satan was telling truth. I mean, we ate of the fruit, the knowledge of good and evil. And it was true. But what was not true, he said, oh, well, Satan, I mean, God, you're not going to die. He didn't say you're going to die.

But what he manipulated was that it was spiritual death. Right. Right. Not physical death. 100%. Yeah. And so that the same thing was happening to me. Right. I mean, it was the same same exact thing of like, this is good. You're going to become enlightened. You're going to become your own God. That sounds pretty cool. A hundred percent. To become your own God. Right. That's pretty epic. But also impossible. Truth. You know, I was, I was intrigued and I was like, I'll do it. I'll give it a try. I don't have how old right now? Are you 14? I'm about 15. I'm about 15. 15 and a half maybe and so I started off with the more innocent things and if you're not watching the video and you're just listening the air quotes with the innocent we're giving all of that innocent good which all of it is air quotes right um and so when I started getting even more innocent things in the beginning those things consisted of astrology birth charts take it there horoscopes yeah and that is so in our generation that is so in our generation bro I had it in my home I mean it is like even with brands like I mean I would have brands sending me PR and it would have everything to do with astrology

and I saw it as all innocent cutie pie stuff because it's trendy yeah so with that I just innocent that was the tip of the iceberg yeah that was nothing yeah compared to what was coming that's just the introduction but he'll use those innocent things to get you in hooked right yeah and so then it became crystals and I was using them for protection and healing and I was giving these crystals power. Yeah. And then it was manifestation and law of attraction and creating my own reality and not accepting less than what I want and only what I do want.

Which I think a lot of that can be manipulated in his gain too as half-truths, you know, because there are parts of that where law of, like law of attraction can be very accurate. Well, first of all, it's all real. Let's get really specific on this before we even say that because it's all real. It's real. And for Christians to say, oh, none of that's real. I mean, it doesn't exist. Manifestation doesn't work.

Blah, blah, blah. I love you enough to tell you that you're naive. And thank God that you are. Right. You know, thank God that you haven't experienced that. It's all real. It's very real. It doesn't come from God, though.

Right. And so that's where I was in the more innocent stages. And so then it got a little deeper. So I'm about in the middle stage now where I'm into like tarot cards. Yeah. And palm reading and psychic. and psychics. Well, because it's, you're like, the more you get into this, the more you want more.

Oh, my gosh. You're like, oh my gosh, what next? Yeah. And I think, too, like, it's really important to note that we all have a spiritual pull, right? We all want to be and know spiritual things. We were designed that way, purposefully, to know him. But, of course, like we said, we always talk about this. Satan's going to bring a counterfeit to anything he has.

Yep. Anything God has, Satan's going to bring a counterfeit. Satan's got the dupe. But it's not of the quality. Oh, man. It's so temporary. Jesus got the real Louis. Satan's got the five below.

Satan's got the, please. The DG. The knockoff. The thing that's going to fall apart after you wear it twice. Hey, but you could wear it twice. Hey. And it's nice and it's cute for photos. And he'll replace it for free.

And he'll replace it for free. But it'll fall apart in a couple days. Girl. Okay. So with that. Yeah, so tarot cards and palm reading. And I was, I was seeking deeper into what the Bible calls divination and necromancy, which is like...

This is all going over my head. Right. Okay. So this is like fortune telling you your future, your destiny. Psychic. Right. Yeah. The Bible calls it necromancy.

Okay. Divination. You see in the Bible a lot, people have spirits of divination. Okay. That have overtaken them. So that's what that means. So yeah, I started to get really anxious and I would have no reason for it. Like, I just felt like I...

This is so relatable for people to hear too. I just felt like I couldn't escape it. I mean, everybody talks about getting to the root, right? And I get it. Like I said, I'm into psychology. I'm a life coach. Like, I get it. There is absolutely an aspect of that.

And I am never going to be one to downplay that. But that was, it's real. Mostly not true for me. I could not pinpoint what was wrong with me. And I felt like I was going crazy. Like I would wake up every single night with a panic attack. And you're like, why?

Didn't know. Yeah. There wasn't one single night where I did not wake up with a panic attack and it started to get more specific the deeper that I went in and I'll touch on that. But what they tell you in the new age and what you'll see in witchcraft, especially when you're being mentored by like higher ranked witches and warlocks, which I got into. This is just crazy. This sounds like Harry Potter, it does. Well, that's a whole. I saw your TikTok about that. I saw your TikTok about that. You can check that on TikTok. We won't talk about it here. Yeah. So when I started to get it, the deeper things, they will tell you that, oh, you're experiencing this kind of what we would

call now spiritual warfare. You're experiencing this kind of trouble in your spirit. That's what they'll say. The trouble in your spirit because you're about to become even more enlightened than you are. It's such a lie. You got to push through it. You got to push through it. You can't push through that. You cannot. You will literally destroy yourself. 100%. That's awful. But that's what they tell you. You got to push. They're like, oh, it'll go away. You're about to reach your next level. It's just resistance. push through the resistance, the trouble in your spirit. It's your old self. That's what it'll tell you.

Wow. It's your old self. You got to die to your old self and become the new, right? And does that not sound a little bit like scripture? Yeah. Gotta be born again. Right. It's saving counterfeit.

Yeah. Please. Okay. Bro, Satan ain't, he doesn't have a, let me just say this. He's not original. He doesn't have a single original thought of his own at all. You look at demons. You look at all.

it. It's like it's giving angels but opposite. He cannot even come up with anything on his own. Yeah. He's pathetic. A hundred percent. I will never stop saying that. No daddy. Anyway. You ain't got no daddy. I don't feel bad because he could have had a daddy. Let me just say. I did. He did have a daddy. He was on God's side. Like he was literally with God. And he said, no, I want to do my own thing. I want to be my own God. I don't feel bad for you because you had everything. 100%. He literally. He literally. He literally. He literally. I want to do my own thing. I want to be my own God. I don't feel bad for you. I don't feel bad for you. 100%. He literally, what was he? He was the head of music? What was his title? What was he? I don't know what it's technically in the Bible. I think it says the head of music.

Yeah. He was the dude of all the music in heaven. Or maybe it says he was incredibly musically talented. I actually don't think it says the head of music. That's kind of just what you gather from context. Okay. But he was, it says that he had a big role in heaven. Incredibly musically talented. Right. So yeah. So they tell you that. You're about to become enlightened. Put away your old self. Take on your new self. Push past the resistance and so I did and so I was like got to go deeper got to go deeper to find the peace that's what you seek is peace right there's only way to that yeah one way to that the top things that you and that's not through your crystals in witchcraft is peace is love you see a lot of witches putting spells for love I was doing that which we'll get into that enjoy you want to be happy yeah that's the top three fruits of the holy spirit well counterfeit it's giving counterfeit yeah yeah

Yeah, and so I started getting deeper. So I started to look into chakra alignment. I started to do transcendental meditation. Is that real? 100% real. Chakra alignment. So basically. Is that like with your third eye?

So there you go. Do we have third eyeballs? No. That's all made up. Well, I don't want to say it's made up because there is definitely an enlightenment that you get to at that point. they're basically if I can explain this in in a like a carnal way that like is easy for everybody to understand yeah it's kind of like you enter new dimensions okay in in this like alternate reality but it's real reality it's just the spirit world whoa right so so I start doing that I start

opening my third eye I start to do stuff like that imagine in heaven oh my gosh we only have like I need to shut up. I'm sorry. I'm learning even more now that I'm hearing this like for the third time. I'm like, I have so many more questions. But that's crazy that we can even the fact that we just can do that here on earth. Imagine just, yeah, what heaven's going to be like. Or who God is. How about who God is? Like the fact that we can do that and we are just like a little of who he is. The thing about it that makes it so dark is we were never supposed to know any of that. Yeah. We weren't supposed to see this kind of darkness as as people. as humans. Right. And so I started to, you know, Transcendental Meditation. I started astral projecting. I started traveling in my dreams. I started to cast spells really heavily. I've been a lot of people are hearing this and they're like, there's just no way. But a lot of people are hearing this and being like, like, I'm doing that. Y'all stop. Stop doing it. Stop time traveling. Oh my gosh.

So it's genuinely like, so if I could describe to you, Transcendental Meditation or Astral Projecting or things like that, it is like your soul, your spirit detaches from your body. That's wicked. And you're able to move around in dreams, even when you're like, so I would have times when I was really deep into this stuff where I would be sleeping. And this started actually as a really, really horrible, terrifying experience, which I'll share first and then talk about how I got into, oh, wait, my spirit can detach from my body. That was interesting. Yeah, so I was sleeping one night and I was still living with my parents at this point.

I was young. I was like 16. I left this detail out, but I got my first spell book when I was 15 and it was passed down to me through my grandmother. Man, what a dangerous tool. Like Satan knew. Again, it's giving opposite a Bible. Yeah, yeah, like 100%. I was pretty deep at this point and I remember being asleep, waking up, and opening my eyes and looking around my room and just like not being able to move. And I'm like, okay, so I'm still sleeping. But I wasn't. I wasn't still sleeping. I was very awake. My mind was very awake, but I couldn't move my body, like at all. Like, it wasn't even like I was flinching trying to move. It was like no movement. That's awful. And it was about maybe five to 10 seconds of that, just long enough to realize that I was awake. It was like the demons

that were tormenting me were waiting for me to be conscious of what was happening before they started to torment me because they didn't want me to think it was a dream. They wanted me to know it was real. It was real. And so I was laying there and I started hearing laughter like sinister, evil, like laughter. Yeah. And it was just one voice when I first heard it and it started to like bounce off the walls. Like it and I cannot explain that, but like bouncing off the walls and then a couple seconds would go on and it's two voices now bouncing. And then 10. It's just overwhelming. Like you're just hearing it from all different directions. It is consuming. Yeah. Like it was so consuming. It felt like I literally couldn't like it felt like my, my spirit, my soul wanted to escape my body. Just like literally crawl out of you. Yeah. Yeah. And I couldn't. Yeah. And so that was a horrible experience. And I experienced that many times after that, many times. So would you say that this was a moment of sleep paralysis? It's sleep paralysis. Yeah.

Yeah, it's sleep paralysis. And so where does sleep paralysis come from? Like how does a person experience that? Yeah, so sleep paralysis, I mean, it can be entered into your life in so many different ways and avenues and streams of, I mean, y'all, even as simple as just having crystals in your home. Yeah. You are inviting.

Because I personally know people who struggle with that, you know. So many people struggle with it. in this day and age, it has been kind of normalized, like anxiety has been or anything else, where it's like, oh, you deal with sleep paralysis. That's just kind of like a thing that you go through, but like, get through it, you know? And it's like we're, it's not a normal thing. It's not normal. We are not supposed to experience that. We are not. I mean, man, it can come from so many different things. But it's from darkness. And it's demonic. It's demonic. Yeah. It's demonic. And so I experienced it many times after that. But once I realized, wait a minute.

my spirit can be awake when my body's asleep. Whoa. I was like, hmm, it's like literally the demons. Yeah, they're like, do you want more?

You should seek this out more. Yes. Even though that was an absolutely petrifying experience for some reason. Because I was like, oh, well, if this is going to happen to me, I want to at least have control. I want to at least like have fun with it.

Right. Yeah. So I started learning how to. And that's like accept, like you're accepting. It's just like, oh, this is just me. 100%.

This is just something I'm going to deal with for the rest of my life. You accept as who you are and what reality is. You just think it's everybody's like that. The day that I found out that like not everybody has the feelings that I have, I was so confused. Yeah. So because you were being lied to that it was just like normal. The enemy is telling you like, this is life. Yeah.

You know? Yeah. So I started to lucid dream, which I know so many people watching this are doing this or have done it. And because it's one of the more innocent ways to get into the deeper stuff. But it's basically training your body to fall asleep before. your mind does so that you can stay awake while your body is in a conscious state of sleeping. I want nothing to do with that. You don't.

You don't. I don't. But it's great. But it's cool. Sin is fun. Sin is fun. Sin is fun. That's just what it is.

It is. If it wasn't fun, we wouldn't do it. We wouldn't be tempted to do it. Right. And so when I started to figure out that this is what I could do, that was probably the turning point for me of like, oh, I don't have to be controlled. by the spirit realm, I can like have some fun in it. Wow. That was like where I got really slippery slope. Yeah. Really deep. Really, really in the mud, right? At that point, I was talking about

how I was waking up with anxiety pretty consistently, but it started when I got really deep, it started to be 3 a.m. every single morning, 3 a.m. I would wake up with a panic attack and anxiety attack. I couldn't breathe. I'm sweating. I'm shaking. I'm nauseous. I think I'm going to throw up for six hours, like heavily every night. And I never knew why the 3 a.m. thing until I found Jesus and learned that demons love to mock the Trinity, which is the father, son, and the Holy Spirit. Threes. Right. And so that was torture. It was torture. Like, I couldn't eat for days. I was bedridden. Like, I couldn't go out of my house. I was completely chained. Like, chained. And so I was just so deep. I remember one time I was actually meditating on my couch. And at this point, I've moved out of my parents. I had all my crystals out. I had my cards out. I had all of my chakra line. I had the meditation music going and the third eye alignment. I just like all of it. I had a routine and I did this a lot. Yeah. And I was sitting there and I was sitting in a yoga pose, which we can talk about yoga and meditation because there are some roots that you do not want to go down into. And I did. And this is why I experience.

this. Wow. There's a biblical way to meditate and what I was doing was not that. Right. And so I was sitting in a yoga pose unknowingly channeling a Hindu god because that's what that is. And I was, my eyes were closed at this point. Oh my gosh, this is crazy. My eyes were closed at this point. And so I was sitting there and my eyes were closed. Physically closed. Physically closed. Right. I wasn't sleeping. I was awake. Transcendental meditation. And I was able to see my living room. Why were you doing this? Were you just trying to chill. I was trying to reach my next level of enlightenment. Okay. This is like the ritualistic stuff you do. Like this is just, it's part of it. And so I was, I was able to see my living room like in the spirit. As if my eyes were open, I was seeing it, but my eyes were closed. And I was, I got excited.

I was like, I'm doing the thing. I'm here. I'm God. Literally. Yeah. I was like, oh, this is strange. But I like it. And so I'm looking around. And so I'm looking around. And all of a sudden, where I was sitting, I had like my front door is here to my left. My office is over to the right corner of the room. And as I am doing this, I see it's like my office door kind of cracks a little bit. And I'm not even sure if in reality it did or if I'm just like seeing that. I'm not sure about the door. Yeah, you're like, I don't know if this is happening live in this part of my life, y'all.

I didn't know at this point what was reality and what was not because you were living in both. I was literally constantly living in both. And I am genuinely. I mean that. And I was telling Allie a part of my testimony the other day and I said, Allie, I'm be honest with you. I don't know if this actually happened in my life or if I just saw it. I don't know. And that's where I was. And so that's kind of scary. Horrified. You're like, I don't even know what memories are real. Literally. Yeah. And so that's the disclaimer. Like, I don't know if the door open. Actually, and physically in real life, I do believe demons can do that. But I don't know if it did that at that time.

But I watched this demonic being walk from my office straight in front of me into the living room. And then slowly walk in a V-line straight to me. And I was in paralysis again. But I wasn't asleep. And you weren't laying down. I wasn't laying down. I was meditating and got stuck. Yeah.

That's petrifying. and walked right in front of me. Like you couldn't open your eyes. Were you trying to open your eyes? I was trying to leave. Yeah. I couldn't do anything. And you couldn't do anything.

And so it's important to note that in the house that I lived at, we had cathedral ceilings. So my ceilings were like 20 something feet tall. And this thing, this being was like probably 15 feet tall. Like, bro, this sounds crazy. You can't, I can't make it up. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. And so came and stood right in front of me.

didn't say anything never never said a word to me but it stood right in front of me and like bent at the waist with its legs straight up bent at the waist and i'm like sitting on a couch like this so i'm maybe like i don't know three feet off the ground this thing's 15 feet tall so like bends at like a 45 degree angle with its leg straight into my face like and puts its face right up in my face and just like tilt its head with his eyes like locked on me but you said that its face like didn't really have a whole lot a structure. 100%. It was like a faceless face. Yeah, so I'll describe that. So like what I was seeing this, this thing was like a tall, lanky, skinny, black thing. And there was not really features on it. I mean, like when I saw its face, it's like I could, I know where the eyes were

and I know that it had like, the face was kind of flat almost, but there was no features. Like you could just kind of tell that there was a face there, but it's like I couldn't see it. You know what's crazy is So I had an era where I was like really into watching YouTube videos of people who had encounters with like, oh, I loved this stuff. But I also got to a point where I couldn't sleep at night and I had to stop watching it. Because there's real demons in those videos. Yeah, you should not watch it because that alone is an invitation. 100%.

Like being willing to even watch is saying, hi, come on into my life because I'm willing to just bring this into my living room. Oh no, it's just a video. No, yeah, no, I couldn't sleep at night. Like I literally was like so beyond paranoid. I do believe God's protection was real through that, though, because there are so many things in my life where I felt I could have gone down a bad path. And he truly was like, we're giving you icky feelings and you're not going to do this anymore. But so I like loved watching those types of YouTube videos. And one of them was like about, he's called something, but it's the something man.

It's like the slender man. Slender man. That's who this sounds like. Yeah. So he bends down. And this is like a slender man, not slender man. Like, I mean, literally would put Slender Man to shame. Like, I mean, puts the fear of you know what into your body.

Like, and truthfully, I mean, in that moment, I was like, it can't get worse. Yeah. I'm at the worst. Like, and I was so desperate to get out of that space that I was seeking anything. Like, at this point, I had become addicted to smoking weed. And like, I know people have thoughts about that. And I certainly have very strong ones because I smoked more weed than anybody I knew. You can't get addicted to weed.

I was hanging out with drug dealers for a living, y'all. Yeah. bro if we can get addicted to coffee you don't think you can get addicted to weed you can get addicted from escaping your reality that you're not satisfied with you don't think you can get addicted to a human being okay we can find addiction in all things we can be addicted to literally anything and weed does not off-limit that paul says i will not let anything uh dominate my body right so also i was surely to have a sober mind and that's not just out of alcohol. 100% because why are we getting arrested for being under the influence while driving a car,

but it's just weed. You're not sober. You're certainly not sober. Okay, that's a whole other episode. I'm sorry. We're going into another time. I was just thinking like, this can't get worse. Like, and I didn't know what to do. Again, like, and I was so deceived and I was so blinded that I truthfully didn't know that I was causing all of it. Genuinely. And that sounds crazy. And people have been in my comments and stuff being like, girl, how did you not know? But also. Also, how do you not get out of an awful relationship? Totally. I mean, it's like when you're blinded, you're blinded.

You're blinded. There is no like logic. And it's all because of manipulation. Yes. Like if you're in awful. And emotionally. Yeah. No, it's possible to be in something and not realize.

And the Bible literally calls manipulation witchcraft. Wow. I didn't know that. That's powerful. Wow. And so, yeah, you're like literally under a spell. Yeah. with those relationships with the things that I was in.

Yeah. Like it's true. And so I mean, I had many experiences like this. I had so many experiences that I just couldn't explain and that made me feel like I was going crazy. And I remember at pretty much the height of it, I remember telling myself, if I tell anybody about the things I'm experiencing and about the way that I feel

and about how absolutely written. Are you talking to your grandma about this? At that time. Yeah. about like the things that happened to you like that? I don't think so because I was slender guy. I was being I was being mentored by like high ranked witches at that time. Okay.

And my grandma wasn't really practicing. I wouldn't say. The only time that I ever consulted my grandma in that time was with the spell book that she gave me, it was like frequent that I would like put money under my dormant, say a spell. I would create potions. I would do like blood rituals. Yeah. Like I mean, I was going deep.

Like I was going deep. And so I would ask her like, oh, have you ever done this? It says this in this book. Like, but other than that, I had like. mentors like spiritual witches, other people mentoring me. And so I remember telling myself, if I were to ever tell anybody what I felt in the absolute emptiness and the I was ridden with anxiety and the thoughts, the things I would see, the things that I would hear. Like I had what is called spirit guides. And what this is is when you invite demons into your brain,

you don't know, but they are demonic presences into your brain. They tell you what to do, what to say. how to operate, how to move in light and love. I was hearing these things. I was literally hearing them. I mean, it was like almost audibly. It's like, you know how when you get a word from God and you're like, that was so clear that I swear I like almost heard it. Yeah. It's that same thing. Yeah. And you're like, you know it's not you. You know when God speaks to you. It didn't come from you. Same thing. So can I ask one off question that I feel like people could be thinking right now is like, okay, so then what what's the difference between hearing God's voice in your head and that's good? You know, know because you're like it sounds a lot like god you know where it's like you can almost hear it audibly but it's

really good question so how do you differentiate that does it align with the word of god doesn't align with the word of god so if you're if you're hearing god speak he is never going to contradict the bible and misguide you ever right he will never contradict the bible if you're hearing something that you think is from god and you can't find in the bible or it goes against what it says there it's likely not from him right because it's it's also really important to remember that Satan mimics God. He comes disguised as an angel of light. Period.

So I think you're right, like that that's so good because the best way to make sure that if it's from God or not is to make sure that that is biblically correct. Yeah. Because he could even sound, he could even try to make himself sound like God. Yeah. Hello? Why wouldn't he? He would be like, okay, if I get them to believe that this is God speaking to them,

that's like the best way that he could communicate with you. He's like trying to earn your trust that way by pretending and disguising him as someone that is like God or someone else. And the thing that's even more dangerous and more deceptive is that sometimes like I knew that these voices that I was hearing wasn't God. And I believed in God. And let's be clear, the Bible says that even the demons believe in God. And not only do they believe in God, but they fear God. Right. And so I knew that the voices that I was hearing weren't God. I believed in God, but I knew they weren't that. I just thought that they were like these beings. My spirit. guides that were on my side. Somewhere in between. Not God. Compromise. Not Satan. Compromise. Right. Man, the things I was hearing and saying, I remember telling myself, if anybody knew about this, they would lock me up. They think you were crazy. Genuinely. They would think I was insane. Wow. They would think I was schizophrenic, which I've had many. Were you questioning your own sanity?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. 100%. Like, am I good? Do I need to be locked up? And I had many people tell me like, girl, know you were schizo. I'm like, well, it's funny how Jesus came in and I don't have that No problem anymore. Look at you right now. Are you giving schizo at all? Do I look like it? I mean, some people might You're not acting it though. Like you know what I'm saying? So no, you know what I'm saying? So no, you know, you're not. That was the point for me where I was like, I don't know what to do. And so, I mean, I had gone down such a dark path and I came to the absolute pinnacle of it. Like I was, I was now no longer really operating in light anymore because I was so angry. I was so hurt. I was so isolated. and alone that like I really wasn't doing things for my good or for anybody else is good. You had no interest to even turn in any light. I was really operating into in dark magic at that point.

I was in the dark web. I was like doing like I said blood rituals. I was doing all these things. And can I just bring it back and say that it all started so innocent. It all started so innocently. And then look how like you are in one of the darkest places of your life now. And it started with something innocent. It always does. It always does. I love this analogy. I don't remember who told me. Maybe it was my pastor, but somebody said,

if you crack open a door. If you have a cracked door, Satan considers that an open door, and he's going to swing it wide open. And now you have an open door. And then he's going to enter that door, and now you have a foothold, and now that you have a foothold in your life,

then it will turn into a stronghold. And now that you have a stronghold into your life, you're now going to have a lifestyle. And then you have a lifestyle go to like from lifestyle to addiction and then addiction to destiny. And then you're so far in it that you can't even fathom how to get out. And it started with a cracked door. And it started with a cracked door. Yeah.

It's so real though. I think that is literally what happened to you. Thing that this whole thing taught me and we're going to talk about the turning point here in just a second. But I think the biggest thing that this whole thing taught me is that I am not willing to make any deal with him. Yeah. There is no exchange that I'm willing to. to make with the devil. There's nothing that he could tell me that he could ever give me that I would

even consider. Because also he'll never be satisfied with just even, there is no like compromise even with the enemy. There is no like, hey, can you just give me this amount? This is all I'm willing to give you. He wants your soul. Not your moment. Everything. Like there is no stopping him either. He knows no boundaries. You let him in and he's going to push and push and push and push until you are completely ruined or truthfully, spiritually or physically dead. He does not care. He won't stop. He has no boundaries until you are either dead spiritually or physically dead. Right. And that's the thing. And that's also a huge lesson that I learned, not even lesson, but just like revelation, realization, is that he doesn't want you slipping up. Bro. He doesn't want you addicted. He doesn't want you chained. He doesn't

want you convinced. He wants you dead. Dead. Because that is, well, this is the best way that you put it, was we were talking about, I said, I said, if Satan knows his fate, okay, if he knows that he's, he's getting demolished, right? We know the end days. And if we don't, we can cover that on another episode, but he knows the end days. He knows that he's doomed, right? It's a promise. And we know that God's promise. And God has promised that Satan and all his little demons are going to be literally demolished for all of eternity. The road into the lake of fire. By forever. And he knows that. There's no undoing that. Like, he's already done it to himself. He's donezo. Yeah. So my thought is like, if he knows that he's going to be thrown into the pits forever and always,

why, like, what does he think he's actually going to accomplish here on earth by continuing to cause evil in the world? Like, why does he do it? And then you said. Well, two things. Number one, the biblical truth in biblical speaking, it says that in the end days that Satan will distract and deceive even the elect, which is God's kids. So he will successfully bring people away from the Lord. And he has, which is awful. And he has. But the second thing is like, I asked Allie, I was like, listen, if you knew you were going to hell and you were like kind of like, you were going to a bad place forever and there was nothing you could do about it. It's done.

And you're like the owner of it. Yeah. Right. I wouldn't say the owner. God owns it all. Yeah. He created this space for him. Right.

But you're going there and you know that that's your destiny and there's nothing you can do about it. would you want to go alone? Wouldn't you do everything in your power while you still had the time to get as many people to go down with you? And if you knew your fate and you knew your destiny and you knew that there was nothing you could do about it and it was all because of the person that you wanted to be like that casted you out? Okay. Wouldn't you want to do everything in your power to make his life hell? Right.

Or his kids' life hell? Hurt him as much as you could. Like you're going to do this to me? Then fine. I'm going to hurt your kids because he knows that that's his heart. God loves us so much. Right? Like what would be, oh, like that would be the way to mine.

That would be the way to my living hell is if you came from my family. Yeah. Even when I think about like my sister and my parents, like I can't even imagine how I'll feel when I have children one day. But y'all think about the people that you love in your life. Tell me that you would not, I don't mean this, but like literally kill for your family. Yeah. Imagine those feelings that we have are just a sliver of what God has. and he has feelings that are so much bigger than ours.

Imagine how much that makes God want to just, but that would hurt. And Satan knows it. So he says, all right, fine. You're going to tell me that I'm doomed forever, fine. But while I'm here on earth, I'm going to try everything I can to not only destroy his children, but just because he doesn't want to go down alone,

but to hurt God. He's out here to try to hurt God as much as he can. He succeeds. It's not even that personal with us. It's personal with God. It's not about us. It's not about us. But the thing about it is also is that he's jealous.

He's jealous. Because we are chosen. We've been adopted into the kingdom of heaven. That he doesn't have anymore. And he got kicked out. Right. So we are immediately his target. 100%.

Not because you're Ashley and I'm Ali, but simply because God loves us. It has everything to do with our inheritance. Right. Just think about in revelation. So it makes sense when you think about why he does what he does. When he destroys our lives Is coming back with fire in his eyes In the Bible it says that vengeance is the Lord's

He's going to take care of it Because again when you think about when you're When people mess with your family And you think of the rage that you have in your eyes You can't even fathom You can't even fathom the way God is going to come back And defend us and say that's it You're done so forever and ever

And that's on God And we go Bye And we watch him Paul again See you later. Oh my gosh. Okay, we're getting so sidetracked right now. There it is. So I was at the end of it and around this time, the Lord showed up. Are you still dating this guy? So I had stopped dating him probably about two years before this. Okay. So I'm like well into adulthood. I'm living on my own.

I'm actually dating another guy at this point and this kind of like subcategory to this story. So I didn't mention it but I am actually living with another guy in this house that I'm living in during this time I was doing business I was in direct sales for six years and was wildly successful at it I manifested that life genuinely manifested more money than you can fathom yeah the car the designer the life the travel the planes everything I manifested it literally and I was in the most unhappy unfulfilled, isolated, lonely part of my entire life. And this girl reached out to me. And her name is Alexa. She's my best friend in the world now. But she was like, hey, I want to, you know, talk about what you do. Like for income. Can we meet up? And I'm like, sure. So I met up with her totally strictly business,

had lunch with her. And when I tell you that she annoyed me to high heavens, this is what I mean. This girl had more joy than I could even fathom. And why? Where did she get the joy from? She was a Christian. She had more joy in her voice than I could even carry in my mind. Like the capacity that she had joy irritated the demons that were in me. Yeah. I didn't want to be around her. Right. Like when I was around her, I felt sick. The demons that were on you were like squealing. Hated her. Yeah. Hated her. And I actually physically felt that. Like I didn't want to be around her. And she knows that now and we talk about it and laugh about it now, but it was real. But the funny thing is, and I was telling you, and Ashley, about this the other day is that my the demons that were in me hated her so much and I didn't want to

be around her but it's like my spirit couldn't help but gravitate to her yeah I couldn't help it yeah like I was so intrigued by her I had never seen that like I hadn't I hadn't seen it in the church that I was at I hadn't seen it in the Christians that I had talked to I hadn't seen it in the world and I hadn't seen it in witchcraft it wasn't she was an anomaly to me yeah and so I was so intrigued well and I want to say something too. I think that the demons were trying so hard to keep you away from her because they knew there was, they knew that your soul would be like, sure, because it's there. You know, all our souls like true enlightenment. Yeah. Right. Yeah. We started doing business together. And my, my crew was millionaires. Like, that's who I was hanging out with. That's, that's, you know,

you want to be a millionaire, hang out with millionaires. Right. That's, that was the mindset. That was the goal. And that's what I was doing. But then Alexa came into my life. And for some reason, I was like, I just need to be around her. Like, I don't know why, but like she makes me feel better. Yeah. And I couldn't understand that. But ill at the same time. But sick.

Yeah. You're like, I hate it, but I want to know. It was so confusing. I didn't know why I was doing what I was doing when I left that friend group to like start doing business and hanging with her. Mm-hmm. Didn't make sense to me. Yeah.

But I did. Yeah. And God started moving through her. Like, it was about a year after that that I actually got saved and we'll get to that. But she was praying for me fervently. Wow. And steadfast.

like daily praying for me interceding on my behalf like man like fighting for me fighting for my soul she was going down to the gates of hell to battle for me wow and it was the most selfless thing that i think probably anyone's ever done for me the way that she loved me was convicting to me yeah because i never seen that yeah and she shouldn't have yeah i didn't deserve it yeah i didn't deserve her grace i didn't deserve her love i didn't deserve the way that she treated me i didn't deserve the way that she had no or judgment toward me. I mean, I was so different than her. Like, y'all, if I could just describe this, I'm, like, tatted up, got some facial piercings.

Like, I'm rough. Got the black eyeliner all around my eyes smearing down my face. And she saw. She is through it, you know what I mean? The most pure, gracious looks like Jesus. Like, she's meek and gentle and loving. And I'm not that. Yeah.

And she didn't even see it. Yeah. She didn't even see it. Yeah. And she loved me and it convicted me. Yeah. And it showed me the gospel. Yeah.

Because she would have told it to me. I wouldn't have understood. Yeah. I was so far from that. Right. And that was just my personal story, but I saw it and I got it. And so I remember, it's about a year into meeting her, I had a horrible experience, another demonic encounter.

Actually, this one involved my roommate. And so now these demons were manifesting not only in my life, but in the lives of other people around me. And I have that one on my TikTok. I won't go into that. It's kind of a long story. but it shook me and her pretty bad. Yeah.

And so we called Alexa the next day and we were like, sister, this is what happened. You're like, I don't know what you do, but. Right. I don't know what you do, but you got to come here and do it. I think you need to do it here, right? Yeah. And so she comes. So my roommate and Alexa are praying the house down.

Right. Anointing, going to war in this house. Now, mind you, I ain't never seen nothing like this before. Yeah. I have never seen this before. Man, let me tell you, we are ready. At least me. I don't know. I ain't never seen war like that. I love that. And I said, oh, I think I'm hard. Yeah. I think I'm hard. Right. I don't know nothing about that. Said in the name of Jesus. I don't know nothing about that. Wow. Okay. That's powerful. Yeah. Yeah. And what was even more powerful to me in that moment was when they were done, they looked at me and I had this Chester drawer. I have to always, every time I say that, I'm like, y'all, I'm Southern.

I don't even know what that means. We say chester drawer, and it's a chest of drawers. But, like, I don't know what that is. Is it a dresser? It's like a, yeah. Like, it's like a, yeah, it's like a display case dresser thing. Okay. You can put stuff in it on it.

Yeah. So I had this chester drawer, chest of drawers with crystals and tarot cards. I had like Ouija board like paraphernalia. Bro. By the way, a lot of people are like, oh, that's why all this happened. like I'm a witch and none of this happens to me. It's because you touched a Ouija board. You played the Ouija board.

I never played the Ouija board, by the way. I just like the way it looked. And just having it in your home alone. Having it in my home. Like, they looked at me after they were done. And this was displayed in my living room. Mind you, this is my decor. Like, I want to look this way.

I want to look dark. I want to feel dark. I want to embody darkness. At this point, I don't want no West Elm vibes. I don't know what I was. I mean, I was on something else. I started like light in love. I was not there anymore.

And that's the thing, man, it always progresses. Yeah. And so they looked at me and they were like, I want you to know that you are causing all of this. This is because of you. Like you're inviting so much darkness into your home. And I did not know that until that moment. Because you didn't, again, you were so blind.

I was so deceived. Yeah. I had no idea. Yeah. And when they said that, like my jaw hit the floor. You were like, what? I was like, there's no way. Yeah.

And they were telling me like, this is witchcraft. This is evil. This is inviting things into your home that you cannot handle. Yeah. Only him. You cannot. You're trying to fight these things. You're trying to ignore these things.

You can't do it without Jesus. You will lose. Yeah. Get it out. Yeah. And I was like, whoa. Wow. And people will say, like, I would never tell somebody that's not Christian all of these

things, but they saved my life. They saved your life. Like, who knows where you would have been right now? Seriously. They hadn't done that. And like, trigger warning. like at this point in my life like I was thinking about suicide every day every day like and it's one of those where it's like I don't know that I would have ever done it but I really love to

think about it yeah that's dark in itself but you know what if Jesus wouldn't have pulled me out would I have done it yeah I don't know yeah and so that's where I was and it was the most loving thing they could have done in that moment yeah it's out of love it's out of love and so I remember I got all those things out of my house. And I was like, okay, I see. Like, I got to stop. Yeah. But there were so many things in my life that I was doing that I didn't know was that.

So I still continued. And I just remember one day being just done just at the end. At the end of myself, at the end of the capacity to just like be, literally. Yeah. And this is what I was telling Allie about. And when I told her like, honestly, Ali, I don't know if this happened in real life or I just saw this because again, I'm like in and out of reality. I mean, genuinely, I don't know what was real at that time of my life and what wasn't,

but I remember seeing this. This is the turning point, the changing point of my life. I was driving and I was talking to God for like the first time, really like ever. And I mean, of course I prayed, but I prayed to the universe, right? We weren't actually acknowledging him. I wasn't addressing God. Yeah. And so I was like, okay, if you're real, I mean, why is Alexa in my life?

Why did that happen the other day? Right. Why is this all happened? Like, I don't understand. If you're real, do something. Yeah. I don't believe you. Do it.

I'll tell you I'll never ask it again. Yeah. I was driving down the road and I was saying that out loud in my car. And as soon as I said, okay, if you're real, do something, I don't believe you will. I don't believe you can. And he, in that moment, a truck pulled out right in front of my car. I almost, I had to slam on my brakes not to hit it. He said, let me get your attention.

Oh, I had to slam on the brakes. Behind it, it was pulling like a 10, 15 foot long trailer with a massive wooden cross laid on the back of it. Mm-hmm. I said, I'll never do it again. You said, okay, I hear you. I'm done. Yeah. I hear you.

Wow. Okay, you're real. Now, in the Bible, it does say, you shall not tempt the Lord your God. No, we shouldn't. Listen. We're not out here trying it. We're not supposed to be testing God. We shouldn't be testing him.

I mean, I really said, I don't believe you can. But I think that the reason. But the heart. The heart. The reason he. allowed it and he answered you was because I was desperate he knew that you needed him and so and I I also think because he knew the path that you were going he knew you'd be here totally like he knew he was like bro I got to do this because Ashley's about to just this was all predestined yes yeah this was a part of his

plan I remember I was like I'm going home yeah I can't be in the car yeah like I'm not safe y'all yeah so I went home yeah I pulled in the driveway and nobody's at my house and I'm just weeping I'm just so confused. Like, I don't know what to do. And I call Alex, I pick up my phone and I'm like, let me just call her. She typically knows what to do. I don't at this point. I don't even trust myself anymore. I don't know what I'm doing. Call her. And I pick up the phone and she hears and I'm crying. And she's like, what's wrong? And I'm like, I need to ask you about something. And she's like, what is it? And I said, Jesus. And that was the first time that I'd ever said his name out loud. Like in my life. Yeah. Because again, the church I went to like, I mean, I didn't hear the gospel. Yeah. I was never. in the place to have a relationship. Yeah. And that was the first time that I ever said his name out loud. Wow. And when I said his name, it was like I couldn't, I had suppressed emotion for over a decade.

Yeah. I mean, any and every bit of emotion that I felt I had suppressed it. And in that moment, it's like that broke off of me. And I was weeping. I couldn't. And I mean, I was always a strong one, right? Like, I don't need nobody. I don't need nobody.

I got me. I don't need you. Yeah. That was always me. I don't have emotions. I don't need to tell you about my feelings. I don't need to process. It broke.

Yeah. Like the name broke it off of me. And I was sobbing and she was just like, and I was just prepared for her to preach at me, you know? Because I was like, I've opened the door. Great. Now she's going to tell me that I've been living in sin and I'm a big failure. Yep. And she goes, hey, can I pray for you?

And I'm like, this is weird. You're like, okay, what is she going to say? The people at the old church that I went to, they didn't ask. me that. Wow. Why are you doing this? This is weird. Yeah. So, but you know how people are like, oh, I'll pray for you and you're like, okay, thanks. Like I thought that's what it was. I kind of thought she wanted to get off the phone with me. Like she was rushing you off the phone. Yeah. Okay. Well, I'm going to pray for you. Yeah. Yeah. And I was like, all right. Yeah. And she was like, like, huh? Yeah. Well, what? In front of me. I never had that happen to my wife. Yeah.

Well, because I think there's something so powerful with so powerful. Allie and I talk about this. Because so many of us Christians do this where we're just like, I'll be praying for you. Yeah. And then you don't. Do you know how much more. Or. Or. Or you don't or you genuinely do because but not in front of them you just don't want to do in front of them right to make them uncomfortable or maybe you're nervous to do it but like there's so much power in praying over somebody physically oh my gosh something that the enemy can hear right yeah so i'm like all right sure she starts praying the most prophetic thing to this day that i've ever heard in my life can we talk about what prophetic means just quick sure the gift of prophecy is

the ability to deliver a word from god that you wouldn't have no You wouldn't have known. It's like you're just translating. Correct. From God to person. I mean, this can be as simple as encouragement, something that aligns with scripture. But this can also be something as deep as nobody should know that. I did not tell a single soul that thing. And that's what this was. Yeah. And she starts praying. And she's like praying over things that again, I'd never told anybody. And it shook me and it scared me a little bit. Yeah. Because I was like, now that this is out, what am I going to, how do I deal with this? I mean, she knows. Right. And she was praying over a porn addiction that I had had for over seven years.

She was praying over a masturbation addiction. She was praying over like specifics. Can we talk about bold faith? Yeah. Imagine being her and saying God, if this isn't right, I'm like calling this girl out saying that she's addicted to porn and masturbation. Can you imagine if you weren't? Somebody calling you and saying, hey, I'm on the brink of going full in for the devil or full in for God. And you have in that moment a choice to have faith to say that specific thing or not. I just got full body chills. And she had faith. She said, I believe my God.

And I'm not going to question this word. And I'm going to say it. And your jaw is on the floor. I want to call. I'm like, I need to call Alexa and just be like, you are bad. She's a B-A. You are bad. She's bad.

Like, that's the type of faith I want. Alexa, you are a baddie. Like, that is epic. She trusts him so much. She does. And I just remember being in awe that. she knows him. Yeah.

And he's real. Yeah. And I've seen that twice now in the past 20 minutes. Yeah. That he is real. Yeah. And she knows him. Right.

They talk. They talk. He talks to her. Yeah. They talk. Yeah. I didn't think that you could do that. Yeah.

You're like, what do you mean you know him? Like, you know? I mean, yeah, he's like up there and in the sky. But like, what? You have like a personal relationship with it? It was, I mean, she showed me so much without ever having to say a word to me. That's really cool. she told me the gospel and showed me relationship without even bringing a Bible verse out.

It was awesome. Yeah. And I needed it that way. Yeah. Because I had been so hurt. God knew you needed it that way. I had been so hurt by the church. I wouldn't have.

Yeah. And so she's praying over me and I'm just sobbing, ugly Kim K crying literally. You like had to mute the phone, you said. Yeah, I had to mute the phone because I couldn't hear her because I was crying so hard and it would cut out her audio. Yeah. Literally. And so she finishes praying and she and I'm just like, I can't even say.

speak. Like I can't even speak. I don't have words. It's like I literally at that point was so undone. Man, it was so beautiful. But it was like, it was like, I didn't even, I didn't, I couldn't say a word. And she like knew. She wasn't going to like, be like, so. How do you feel? How are you? Yeah. She didn't. Yeah. She said, hey, I want you to do something. And I was like, okay, what? And she said, I want you to go inside of your house. And I want you to go and pray. And I was like, Alexa, you don't think that I have tried to do that. I mean, I did it 20 minutes ago. it didn't turn out well for me yeah and she's like no no no like i want you to pray out loud and i want you just talk to him yeah just tell him about how you feel are you mad tell him like talk to him really like

he's your father and he wants to sit with you and it's okay to allow him to sit with you and i was just like she knows him yeah i'm gonna trust her yeah and so i went inside my house and again nobody was there it's so funny because typically when i would go into my house and do witchcraft i would sit in the living room always and for some crazy reason I was like I'm gonna go in my bedroom which is a room that I hated because again this is where I had panic attacks every night and I felt like chained in there yeah so in this moment like it was a really restorative moment and he knew that but also it was the only carpeted room in my house and that's an important note because when I went in there I was like I didn't know what to say but I felt like I needed to go in there and I was just like Jesus and I like it was

like I said it like I didn't know what to say and I hit the floor my whole body lost strength every bone in my body I mean just we wow hit the floor like he was like literally protecting my knees yeah literally I mean how intentional we know this is going to happen he knew she's going to lose it but it was so redemptive too because I was so scared to be in there yeah and I just remember just like pleading with him I didn't know what to say I didn't have a scripted prayer I didn't even know how to talk to him I didn't even know how to convey my emotion. Yeah, you've never done this before. I'd never even spoken about how I felt to anyone before. Yeah. And all I could say was help me. Please help me. Like, please help me. And that's all I could say. And it was the most broken, horrible, sad. He has so much sympathy and just compassion

for you in that moment. You know that his heart was just so broken. For you. Broken. and my soul was like in that moment at the gates of hell literally and he walked down there to me yeah and I was like I just like I can see it right now I've actually never gotten this vision before in my life and I can see it right now like I'll do it at the gates of hell with my arms like holding out like and I'm chained still and holding out and I'm like please help me please help me and he walks down there and grabs my hand and pulls me out. Wow. I'm like, dang, I've never seen that my life. Yeah. It's true though. He'll do it. He'll do it. I'm like, he's so good. He's so good. And he ain't scared of the gates of hell. He's not. If my children call me from there, I'm going down

and getting them. He came down there and, man, this is a part where I always cry, so I'm probably just going to sob now. But like, he came down there and got it. He came down there and got. me and I remember just saying like please help me and then in a moment it was like that quick like just in the twinkling of an eye is how the Lord says that we will come from the earth and be in his arms in heaven it's in the twinkling of an eye and that's exactly what it felt like it was like couldn't have been quicker that I felt this peace like just the most I mean peace that surpasses understanding it is what the Bible says I couldn't understand it and I tried to understand it and I still try to understand it I still don't get it yeah can't but

It was like he, it was the hug I had been waiting for my whole life. It was like the affirmation, the validation, the worthiness, the identity. Like it came to me and it found me and it was Jesus. And it was like I physically felt held. Like I felt him holding me. And I remember audibly, well, not audibly. I want to be careful to say that. I know.

It's close. It's so close. Man, it's close. I don't think that I've personally ever heard the voice of God audibly. but man it's close and it was the first time that I'd ever heard him and it's probably the loudest that I've ever heard him still to this day is I was being hugged by Jesus and I just and I've seen this vision in my head many times where he's just like nestled into me and holding me and like oh my gosh it will just make you just sob yeah just and he looks up and he's like get behind me

she's mine come on that's the Jesus I know fire in his eyes let's go That's what that was. I love that. He said, this is my kid. Get out. Oh my gosh. Of my way. Just imagine the end days.

And so, nothing in my house ever happened after that. Wow. Done. Wow. I never heard anything else. I never saw anything else. I was set free. Because they have to listen to him.

Yeah. Like the minute that you bring Jesus into your life. They have to. They won't listen to anything. anything else, but they'll listen to him. They have to. They have to flee. They have to. Allie and I were reading actually today in Mark about how Jesus came up to a demon-possessed man and the demon spoke out of the man and said, what do you have to do with me, oh, son of God, is it now the time? They know it's coming. They do. Don't send me out before the time.

They know it's coming. They're so fully surrendered and submitted to him. They have no choice. They have to. After that, like, I was convicted of things that I wasn't aware of pre-being saved in that moment. And might I preface that I had said the prayer in church like 15 times and like raised my hand, like 15 times? And it did not save me. When you say the prayer, it's like the, if you're ready to dedicate your life to Jesus, raise your hand, we'll pray for you, grab a Bible on your way out. We can't wait to meet you. Yes. That. Like, make this prayer something of your own follow after me, blah, blah, blah. And I'm not saying that that cannot be your saving moment because it does for a lot of people.

I would say for a lot. It is, but my heart posture was not there. Yeah. It was not there. And so I just want to preface to you guys listening that like it is nothing to do with the words that you say actually. I only said two of them. Help me. And that's what did it. And so, you know, after that moment. In your heart behind the words. Man, bro, you were I was surrendered. You meant those two words. I said take anything you want. You meant those words. And that's the difference is that before I was really just praying it because I was scared of hell.

Yeah. I didn't even know what to believe. I was just like, I don't want to go there. So I'm going to pray this and it's going to secure me from going there. Golden ticket out of hell. It's a relationship. But I didn't change a single thing about my life. No.

The Bible says that faith without works is dead. That's no faith. Listen, if your religion doesn't change you, you need to change your religion. Because that's where I was at. And it was so much of like, it was religion, not relationship. And right exactly what you said. So now that I had relationship, I heard God. That's a whole different ballpark.

Like, I heard him. Like, I literally was able to know things. Jeremiah 333 says that he will tell you great and hidden things that you have not yet known. Right? And so I was being convicted of things that I didn't know were sin. We're bad. We're bad. I didn't know we're bad.

I didn't know anything. And no one had to tell me. I didn't have to read it anywhere. I knew. And I mean, the first thing was witchcraft and all of it I had to stop. Like immediately. And it was immediate. I was done. Yeah. I was done. The second thing was sex. Like, let's just go there. Like, I had to stop. I felt convicted of it immediately when I got saved. I had to stop. Yeah. But for a lot of people, that's like the last thing to go. Really? And I would say most of the time, yeah. I would say most of time. But for me, it was the first. Because I was, I was yoking myself to this man that God knew it was not going to be. And I would

not going to be my husband. God knew that I was not going to walk throughout eternity with him. I had to get out because I was yoking my soul to him. It was a soul tie, right? And that in itself is very similar to witchcraft, like just that in itself. And so he was pruning me. He was pruning things out of my life, left and right. Like for the next six months after that, and this is only by the grace of God. I mean, genuinely, that this is not even feasible for most people, but he knew I needed it for the next six to eight months after that, I stopped doing business. Like I stopped working. I didn't do anything but read the Bible and listen to sermons and worship and pray for like eight to 10 hours a day.

Wow. For like six to eight months. That's intense. It's intense and it was the drink of water I needed. Like I had found the well that never ran dry. Well, I feel like that could sound really intense to some people. For sure. And be like, that feels like too much.

A lot. But I think we need to remember how much darkness you had been in for so long. Like, bro, you needed that water. Like, you actually needed that much, you know, time and prayer with the Lord because of how deep you were. I mean, imagine somebody literally coming out of hell and how Thursday that may be. Hello? Yeah.

You were in a desert, you know? He had literally. I mean, man, did I not just write this yesterday? And I think that that was like prophetic, literally of like now we're. talking about this and it makes so much sense as to why I wrote it yesterday, he is the only one that can spiritually hydrate after a drought. Yep. That's really what it was. I mean, you're in the gates of hell. You need a water down there. You know what I mean? It's a fiery pit. Right. Like, there's no water. For me, I needed it. I needed six months of that. Yeah. And not everybody will go

through that same thing. And that doesn't mean that you're like less in your faith or you or anything. Right. And that's what I mean. It's like everyone's, everyone's looks different. Absolutely not. I had to because it is what saved my life. I was, I mean, genuinely, it saved my life. And so I had to. And I also just, man, I didn't care about anything else because every single thing in my life that I was into and doing and thinking and entertaining was awful for me. Yeah. And I was like, I don't, I don't even know what I can do, what I can't do. And so I'm just going to do what I know I can do. Yeah. It changed everything for me. And he, he cut out a lot of things in my life very quickly. It was, I'm a really black and white person. And

honestly, that can bite you in the butt sometimes. But in this. But in this. disregard. Like he changed a lot in my life immediately. It was a night and day switch. I was a different person in a month. Yeah. Completely totally different person. Yeah. But there's also still some things that I struggled with for a long time. Yeah. Pride. One of them. I don't know what episode it'll be in, but we talked earlier about how I have a gift for speaking and the Lord wanted to use it. But I felt like I needed to do all these big kingdom things with it. And man, that was pride. And I struggled with it for a long time. Yeah.

Gossip. Yeah. Another one. Yeah, me too. Did not go away quick. Yeah. That was a painful process. I feel like gossip went away kind of quickly for me.

I think it did too. Your heart is so pure. Genuinely. But there were times where maybe I, I'm sorry, not to make it about myself, but gossip is like so big in us women too. Yeah. Like honestly, gossip is like such a thing that women struggle with, I think. It's just way more of a thing in our world than guys.

And I think when I was like freshly saved by Jesus, you know, this time last year, I feel like the first three months I would find myself in situations of gossiping. And it was like I would entertain it not because I wanted to, but because I felt I had to. But bro, I felt so gross. And I had never felt that way about gossip before. Like there were times where I was in a conversation with somebody one on one and they're like, hey, I don't mean to talk ill of somebody, but. And they are, it's ill.

I'm totally not judging, but like, she sucks and going on and on and on about how she sucks. And I'm like, I don't like this. And then you get into the Christian world, hey, I'm really not trying to tell her business, but we need to pray for her. This is what's happening. Yeah. It exists in the Christian world. It does.

Yeah. And we try to mask it with, listen, I'm not judging. Because we're not called to judge. But if there's a but that comes after that, it's judgment. Like, if you feel like you got to say, hey, uh, I'm not speaking ill, but. Justifying sin, don't make it not sin. It doesn't make it not sin. Like just because you're prefacing and saying, hey, I didn't mean to do that.

I'm not, this isn't ill, but I'm going to speak ill. Does not, it'll reverse it. That's manipulation. Yeah. And so, that's fire. Yeah. So with that all being said, I mean, you see how Ali and I have had different sanctifications, different timelines.

I mean, she came out of that way quicker than me. Like, you know, and so. But there are things that I probably struggled with much longer than you, too, you know. So it's like, you just, you can't. You can't compare. And I do have to say, too, like, I, I, I really want to mention this that we were kind of even speaking about this when I was showing you old pictures of myself. Even like when I was like three, four months into my journey with Jesus

and I was still out here showing off the tattas and I was, the modesty wasn't a thing. Right. I was like, this is what I lived by. Bro, this is so worldly. I said, and I probably said it on a freaking podcast. I don't know. I've probably said this stuff on the internet where I was like, listen, I'm young. They're perky. They're cute. I'm going to show them off now before I get old and saggy. What do you mean? That was like my motto is like if you got it. Speaking of if your body yours and not gods and your husbands. Excuse me? That is so disrespectful. I do not own this body. This was a gift from the Lord. And also this is my husband's as well. Like, I don't want my man out there just like, like, topless like on like Instagram. Like I don't know. It's just and it's crazy

that I'm even saying those things out loud. But you came out of that so quickly and I did not. It took like two, three years. So like I still was doing that. Yeah. It still is. I was still like, even though I knew Jesus like that's the thing is I'm saying give yourself. grace bro like give yourself grace if you are new in your journey or if you look back on versions of yourself that were like so baby in your in your journey with jesus and you're sitting there going being like babe you're so like you thought you knew like oh my gosh you're so dumb like i hate that version of myself or i don't know i was embarrassing it's like you don't understand how each version of yourself through your journey with god is still glory to him because you can scroll my instagram and trust me

i've gone through seasons where i'm like i want to delete everything before jesus like I don't want these pictures up. I don't want anyone to see the outfits I wore at Coachella less than, you know, a year ago. Like I feel a sense of embarrassment. But if I were to delete all of that, that would be a dishonor to God because I'm not showing people. You can scroll it and see what he does in my life. Like if I were to delete all the old off of my Instagram page, people would just assume

I was just born out of the womb, just knowing the word of God and just doing it. You know, it's like there's no reason to like not have grace for every version of yourself. And I think that that gives God even more glory And it just shows how beautiful it is That he is slowly evolving you at the pace That he knows you can handle Like if you were just waking up As a completely different person the next day

It would low-key give like culture shock Like we'd probably be like who am I? What am I doing? What's going on? Like that's kind of like That's kind of how I felt with my journey though Yeah Like overnight

And I lost all my friends Yeah immediately You're going to I lost all my friends Because your life is being completely flipped upside down Like everything you knew is no longer the truth Like, I have one friend, shout out to Bailey, that is still my friend from, I mean, I was friends with her in elementary school. You know, like she was my best friend.

I mean, still is one of my very best friends. But every single other person in my life left. And I mean, I had a ton of friends. Yeah. Like, and you're saying friends that were like, like worldly. Like friends that were in that, in that season of your life. Well, yeah. Like you have Miss Gurley that like literally saved your life.

Alexa, right. Right. And she came into my life very, very, like, I mean, right at that time. Right. But, like, worldly friends. All my worldly friends. I mean, I really only had Alexa and Bailey. And I'm so thankful for that.

And I, my roommate that lived with me too, I was like really, really close with her. But they lived like an hour away from me, you know? Yeah. I didn't have, like, I didn't have anyone nearby. Everybody that was around me, like, no, they were like, dude, what's happened to you? Yeah. What's wrong with you? You're not the same.

Yeah. Why do you change? Why are you changing like that? Like, you're not the same person. anymore. You're not the same person that I knew. Right. Do you know how hurtful that can be? Totally. And then you start to look at yourself and I'm like, okay, so maybe it is. Christ says that we will share in the suffering. Yeah. What a blessing to be able to rejoice and share in Christ's suffering for us. What a blessing to share that and to suffer for him. Yeah. Like he died for me.

The least I can do is live for him. Yeah. You know? Yeah, but it was hard. Like, sanctification is hard and it's still hard. And I'm still hard. It's still hard. Still hard. Still still still being sanctified. And if I ever get to a point where I'm like, I have arrived. Cancel me. Yeah. Cancel me. Report my TikTok. Get a ticket down. I don't support cancel culture, but I get what you're saying. Oh my gosh. That is. Cancel culture is. No, 100%. It is. It is. It is. Yeah. That is nasty. It's the opposite of what God. Jesus calls us to give grace. 100%. Forgiveness. Y'all know what I mean. Call me out and be like, get off that throne that God's supposed to be sitting on.

Humble. So, yeah, but it changed my life. It all changed my life. And now I get to do ministry. My husband and I lead a young adult's ministry at my church. And it's the biggest blessing, literally ever. I do ministry now online, on TikTok, on Instagram. I get to just tell people of his goodness.

Yeah. And this story, like I said in the beginning, it ain't mine. He wrote it. He wrote every single sentence, every page, every page, every chapter was constructed by him because it was predestined for me. Yeah. Wow, that was a word. Thanks God. I love that. I love that. That was good. But he is so faithful. He's so good. He didn't give up on you for one second. He is so faithful. And you know, people let you go through all of that because he knew also. And I, this was like a recent word that I heard from him is like,

everything that we go through before we want to like, because everything you went through. And there's even more to your story that you didn't even share. Like there's grief. There's things that you've been through. And it's like, we could sit here and be like, why did I have to go through that, though? Because there's other people with testimonies, like myself, where I don't feel like I went through nearly as much, I mean, not even a sliver of the amount of hell that you went through. And you could easily look at somebody like me or anyone else and be like, why was that their story? And this is mine. Like, why did I literally have to face hell itself and go through all of that? Like trauma, bro. Like, the things that you've faced in your life is trauma.

And I think that the thing that we need to remember is that a lot of times I feel like our stories not only are for ourselves, but it is for other people too. Like the reason that you have this testimony is to continue to share it and tell people because there are other people that are facing the same hell as you, maybe worse, maybe less, but like it is all glory to God. And it's not about us. Like the suffering that we go through truly isn't even for us. Like, I mean, it shapes us and it is for us.

but it's also for him and it's to help other people. And it's also too, we talked about this. It's like, man, like you didn't need to be at the point where you were like life or death to accept him. I did. Yeah. And so he allowed me to go through all of that because I had to have or I would never have come to him.

And that's personal. Yeah. You know, that's that personal relationship. And people always think like, why does God allow bad things to happen to good people? And it's like, let's just get this straight. There was only one bad thing. that happened to one good person and everything after that is for his glory. It was needed for me.

I would never have come to him with a gentle tap on the wrist. No. I wouldn't have. And he knew that. That's why you had to go through. He loves me and because he loves me, he allowed it all. And he's good. And that just shows you how he knows us all so personally too.

Yeah. That's why I didn't get that story. You didn't need it. I didn't need it. I pray that my kids have the most boring. testimony you've ever heard. Seriously. I don't want my kids to have the most like radical quote unquote like life or death testimony. I don't hope that they do. I don't hope that my niece and nephew do. I hope they have the most boring. Hey, I just knew Jesus from the start. I never veered from him.

Man, my husband. He got saved when he was four years old. He's walked with the Lord since he was four. He was a virgin when he got married. He's never smoked weed. He's never drank. He's never done anything like that. He didn't have to face nearly as much pain as you did. He didn't. Yeah. And I pray that for my kids and for my niece and nephew. Like that's what I want. And so the people that hear this story, because I know that the enemy uses my story in

this way and I want to address it. Good. For the people that hear my story and you might think like, wow, I don't have a testimony like that. I would never be given the opportunity to speak on my story. My story isn't worth telling. Because there's people like Ashley who have like unbelievable stories. My story is not valuable enough or wouldn't resonate with people or doesn't he

even matter. That's from the enemy. And I pray that my kids have a testimony like yours. And I pray that they are so cherished and held and loved by God in the way that you are. And the fact that you have that testimony and you still walk with him today is a testament to his faithfulness and his goodness. And people need to hear it. I'm just going to be so real right now. People like me don't have shame in sharing their testimony most of the time because it's good. It's cool in our eyes. People, you know it's groundbreaking. You know it's like it'll turn heads. So like, and that's where a lot of pride came from too in my walk with the lord of like, oh, like, look at this. Look at me. I'm an ex-witch. Yeah, right? Yeah. And so like he's got, he had to humble me, man. But for people like this where they have the more ordinary testimony,

I just like want to say to you that your people, if we're going to like categorize it as yours, which it isn't, but those people are the people that are being held in chains more than anybody because the enemy is using that story to tell them it's not. good enough to talk about. Wow. And the Bible says you're not unique enough. You're not unique enough. The enemy with the word of our testimony. And just to remind you, you didn't write it. And who are we to critique the author and say what's boring and what's not? He wanted to use it and he did it strategically. Yeah. So open your mouth. And I told Allie this months ago. And I said, if your mouth is closed, the gates of hell are open. So open your mouth.

Yeah. It was specific. Yeah. We need to be every single one of us. God didn't say just the interesting ones. God didn't say just the crazy. Who's to say what's interesting? Also, I love that we're bringing it back to this because this is exactly how we started the episode. It is. Humility. Is who are you to say that your life and your story isn't going to impact somebody? Just because it's the norm for you, just because you've been sitting in witchcraft for however many years and it's been such a part of your life that you are so unbelievably familiarized with. I have never, ever in my life

encountered or witnessed anything like that in my life, but that doesn't mean that that that's normal. And that doesn't mean that my story is normal where God gave me a platform before I ever even knew him. Then he calls me and I, and then he uses my platform for his glory. Preach. That's not normal.

But for me in my world, I'm like, you know, whatever. I'm just some white girl that, like, found Jesus. Like, it's giving privilege. It's giving, you know, I don't know. It's just like, but that's all from the enemy. It's all from the enemy. Like my story is impactful. Just like the next person who's listening to this, just like yours, just like anybody else is

because it is God's story. That is the story he wrote for you. I just think about my husband too of like, you know, he was a virgin when we got married. And he probably, he's probably had moments where he's like, my story is not worth telling. 100%. I mean, that's the biggest lie of the enemy in his mind that he has to overcome too, like all the time. He's got to fight it.

Yeah. But I think about like Christian men that he can disciple. and does disciple at our church who are walking through purity right now, you know, being single and dating or even engaged and they look to him and say, how did you do it? Please help me. And he's able to help him because he's been there. Yeah. I did it on purpose.

Yeah. You know what? They couldn't ask me. Yeah. I mean, straight up. I mean, real, though, like he literally has a testimony where he can, he could help help anyone up until the age that he's at right now. But like, he could help teenagers.

Yeah. He could help middle schoolers. He could help. He could help children who are in elementary school. You know, so many people with his testimony. That's huge. Same for any single person listening to this. And like, he helped me.

Like, when we were engaged and dating, like, we waited until marriage to have sex. Yeah. And he had to re-teach me. Like, the Holy Spirit spoke through him and used him to teach me how to do life with Jesus. Right. He knew. Because he'd been doing it his whole life. Man.

Which is pretty freaking magic. I imagine what would happen if we didn't have people with that testimony. Right. How lost we would all be? If we had people who had only found Jesus in their 30s. The wisdom in that. Excuse me. Oh. We need people like that. Yeah, we do. We need all of it. And God knew that. And his kingdom doesn't run without him. Oh my gosh. I'm so thankful for that word. Me too. Wow. Okay, God. I love that. That was good. We said, God, you better speak to every single person listening. And I think he said, I'm not excluding one. No. That's so good. That's so good. Well, anyway, we've been filming for who knows how long.

Probably close to three hours. Probably. Just as long as we were driving around last night, but that's okay. Doesn't he do things of threes too? He does. I've had enough. Three cameras? I've had enough.

Wait. The devil meant for evil. God will turn for good. That's right. And that is my testimony. I was blind and now I see. Yeah. And so, Ashley, we are thanking you so much for sharing it and being vulnerable and just like

giving us all the ins and outs of it. I truly feel so good, right? I feel so confident that this affected so many people. And I'm grateful for you for that. I am so thankful that you had me on. And I was able to speak to your crew because they're the first. Spit straight fire in this episode. I'm really excited.

I'm so excited too. And honestly, I think it's a testimony in itself about how freaking hard the enemy was trying to just wreck this episode. You guys are not ready for these little clips that we caught behind the scenes of this. It was intense. This was a moment. This was a moment. but I'm grateful for it. And also, I know you kind of mentioned this already,

but where can people find you? You're on the internet. I am on the internet. I am on the internet. You can find me at your spiritual big sis on TikTok. And if you just look that up on Instagram, you'll find me. That's not my app, but it's too complicated.

Right. You'll find me. Your spiritual big sis. And yeah, that's where I'm at. Come find me. Demon Slayer she puts in her bio, which is such a sleigh. Dude, that's such a sleigh.

You're like out here like hand in hand with demons. I said this way. I said this yesterday. I was like, the enemy is so pure. that you're like that he like gave you the ins bro you were hand in hand like pals with the darkness like I have the ends demons and you were pals and now you're on the good side and it's almost giving like spy like you were like a spy you know that like you know so much more than the average person about how they operate because you were hand in hand with them and what I love about what you're doing

on the internet I'm going to say this is that you truly are exposing so much of the darkness which I know we've already said this like so many times in just like private conversation, but there's not enough of that in Christianity. And I think that we're afraid to acknowledge the darkness. And I've even found myself a couple times where you guys have seen it like on this podcast where I'm like, listen, I know we're talking about the enemy again, but I got to say this. Because I really believe that there is so much that we have to do it. It's a part of if we're going to wear our name tags of Christian and being a Jesus believer, it is also exposing the darkness. I'm sorry that's a part of our role.

That's a responsibility that we have. to do. And so we are not giving him a spotlight. We're not giving him a microphone. But I said, I said, this is what I envision. I envision us being the police and we just turn on our headlights and he's just there. And he's like stuck and he's like, oh, right? We got our flashlights on him. Like, we're giving him a spotlight, but it's not the spotlight. Y'all are thinking. The Bible says take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. Hello? We are allowed to acknowledge the enemy as much as we want. We are allowed to expose him. Because we are exposing him. That's a command. We're not giving him a microphone. We're not putting him on a stage.

We're not taking part in the darkness. We're exposing him. Acknowledge him. Acknowledge him when you feel like he's trying to ruin your day, your year, your marriage, your friendship, your self-worth, you know? Like, if you feel like he is truly trying to ruin something in your life, it could be your own relationship with yourself. It could be your relationship with Jesus.

Bro, call him out. Yeah. You are not giving him a microphone. There's nothing wrong with calling him out and exposing him. Call him out. And out loud, by the way, because he is not omnipotent or omniscient and he can not hear the thoughts in your head just so you know little tips so if you want to address the devil you got to speak out loud you got to open your mouth wow that's good i don't even know if i knew that so come to my

tic-tok if you want to know more yeah it's so funny way i say all of that because i um i love that's what you're doing on your page like i love that what you do is just exposing his stupid games and his tactics and his lies and i just think we need more of that in in christianity because that is and honestly this is a great gateway into what we're going to talk about in the next episode so next week. Ashley and I are going to continue to record. We're going to have dinner, though, and freaking and freaking charge all these batteries. Yeah.

But we are going to just give people, I don't know, I want to say the weapons, but just like the knowledge and the wisdom of how to defend, like truly actually defend ourselves against the enemy and utilize Jesus and the name of God because we have that authority because he's given us that. And I'm guilty of it. I have family members who are guilty of it, like where we just, we just don't acknowledge and we wait for him to leave. Because we think if we are naive to something, then we're protected from it. But it also, I mean, it so much just makes you susceptible to him. Yeah. It's so much more damaging. So that's what you guys are going to expect next week, which is so freaking exciting. It's very good. Thank you guys for watching. And like we

always say at the end of our episodes, let's just show somebody why Jesus is so cool today. Like truly show somebody why Jesus is so cool and just walk more like him. Let's all do it. Let's all show more compassion. Let's show more love. Let's give more. Like, let's just start going out of our way to be kind for people. And yeah, I'm proud of you guys.

And I love you so much. And I will see you next week. See ya. Bye. Bye y'all. If you guys can't wait until next Friday for another episode, you are in luck. Subscribe to our Patreon where you will have early access to future episodes and occasional surprise bonus episodes.

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