Christ With Coffee On Ice - girls gone bible and ashley hetherington

Episode Date: March 15, 2024

Hey y'all ! Welcome to another Friday with CWCOI ! In this week's episode our host, Ally Yost, is in a new location joined by Ashley Hetherington as well as Angela and Ari from Girls Gone Bible ! This episode was such a blessing and a gift and it was truly so spirit led. We pray it encourages you deeply and strengthens your faith journey as you hear them talk about their testimonies, friendship, addiction, and Jesus's ultimate healing over everything ! ☆ SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PATREON ☆ : https://patreon.com/CWCOI ____________________________________________   Connect further with us ! If you would like to give to CWCOI and support the podcast, you can do so here ! ➤ https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cwcoi/support TikTok ➤ https://www.tiktok.com/@christwithcoffeeonice Instagram ➤ https://instagram.com/christwithcoffeeonice _____________________________________________   Connect further with Ally ! TikTok (1.9M) ➤ https://www.tiktok.com/@ally_yost Instagram ➤ https://www.instagram.com/ally_yost/ LTK.IT ➤ https://www.shopltk.com/explore/ally_yost Amazon Storefront ➤ https://www.amazon.com/shop/allyyost Pinterest ➤ https://www.pinterest.com/ally_yost1/_created/ --- Support this podcast: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/cwcoi/support Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi guys, my name is Ali. Welcome to Christ's a coffee on ice. And I'm natural. Ice cream. Welcome to another episode of Christ's coffee on ice cream. That'd be great. Ice cream. Wait, I love this that you guys are gonna be interviewed where you guys are. Yeah. Well, not interviewed, but like, you know, y'all are in-thouse. This is just giving, we're just besties talking about Jesus. I love it.

Everyone say Jesus saves. One, two, three. Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, save. You got me out here. Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode. episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. I am your host, Ali Yost. And if you are physically watching, you can tell we are in a very different environment. We are not sitting on my orange couch in my

house. We are sitting in Los Angeles, California, and we are sitting with Girls Gone Bible. We have Ari and Angie here and also Bestie, Ashley Hetherington, who you guys are very familiar with. She's already been on the podcast. But I am so excited, guys. I'm so excited. I love you. My gosh. I'm just so happy to be. This is incredible because the, like, the way, okay, I have to admit, there have been a couple times where I've been on TikTok, and y'all obviously come up on my, like, comment section all the time where they're like, you need to get together with Girls Gone Bible. Like, I mean, obviously, we're together all the time, so that people see that. But they're like, this needs to happen. And I've been biting my tongue because obviously we knew that this was going to happen.

And so the last couple times that I've been live, I've just been like, okay, you know? And then they're freaking. They're in all caps, y'all. They're freaking out. They're like, wait, that's confirmation. This is like this is exciting. That is actually so cute. So excited that you guys are here right now.

So thank you so much. Thank you for just like, I don't know. I'm just so stoked. Thank you. The girls are geeking. No, they're freaking out. I can feel it. Like we're freaking out right now.

I love you guys and I love you guys. We're so grateful. But yeah, I just love y'all so much. I just want to talk about Jesus together. And also like I know that I mean this friendship's still really new. Like we've really only been connected for a couple months. Yeah. So I think this is a great opportunity to obviously like get to know y'all more.

And I want to hear more about, like, how you guys found the Lord. Also, like, I want to hear about how Girls Gone Bible started, right? If you guys are familiar with Girls Gone Bible, I don't know how that's possible. Their podcast is absolutely blowing up. Y'all haven't even been doing it for a year, right? Like what, like, eight months? Since May, May 16th, it's our first episode, so it's like eight months. That's amazing.

So, yeah, I just want to hear all of it. Like, just so the listeners who maybe don't know you guys can get to know you more and just, like, who you are where you've come from. What is Girls Gone Bible? please and thank you. I love you so much. First I just want to say God I love these girls so much Ashley Ali we are so I mean we told our whole little meeting story on because they were also on our podcast so I don't know who's is going to come out first but we also did an episode where we heard both of your testimonies and that was so good and it's going to be I mean that was probably

one of my favorite episodes with a guest ever you guys you guys know Jesus you know him you can tell when somebody knows Jesus. You can tell when somebody's been with Jesus, like it says in scripture. So we just love you guys so much. You guys really come from the heart. It's beautiful. We love you guys so much. I love this table. So much. I'm telling you, when we first met, when I first met you guys at Passion, I literally, there were so many people there. And I was like, no, them, I want to be, I never met you guys. And I ran right up to me. Wait, talk about the vision that you had about the best. No, that was just so funny because I was, look at you. you I love you. I love you. I love you. I'm crying. Yeah, she was. Stop.

Arik goes, why are you crying? Can we get a one tear? No, I will come. Let it happen. We love you, Ashley Heatherington. I, just, I, it's just God. Like, he is so, he's at this table. We're going to have a great time together. All of us. Yeah. I love him so much. I, so the morning of passion, it was so funny because I felt like I had been, you know, you guys, you can ask God for anything. visions, dreams, words from him, and he might give them to you, he might not. I ask for dreams and visions all the time. I beg him for dreams and he just, that's just not really my thing. That's not really something that he's given me as of now. But I had been asking him for visions for a while, being like,

God, just let me see things before they happen. And so I have confirmation that it was from you and that like, you're speaking to me in that way. And this is going to sound so small, so minuscule and so random. But that's like how he works though. It is. So that morning of passion, I was seeing, I hadn't seen multiple things in the morning that I then later had the exact conversation with people that I saw in the morning as I was getting ready. There clearly is a reason why God wanted to meet me that day that weekend. Maybe it's because I was so, I mean, my intention was literally just on Jesus. I was at, at a conference. And that morning, I knew that you were at passion because I saw that you were there on social media. I had never, I didn't see what you were wearing.

that day or anything. But I knew that Ali has this same gene vest from a Ritsia as me. Vest, yeah. Yeah, it's just a gene. Everyone wears it. It's so cute. Yeah, but I had seen you wear it one time on social media and I was wearing it that day and I literally was putting on makeup being like, I'm going to see Ali. I had a vision of us seeing each other and she would be wearing that vest and I would be wearing mine and we would be like, this is so crazy that we're both wearing the vest. I swear. And you probably were like, wouldn't that be funny, God? L.A. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't even like it's not like God's giving me this prophetic word for my life or anything he's like she's gonna wear a reddya vest or you so random when i was at passion and i saw my girl wearing that vest

and she came into the suite that i was in i literally go i don't know what it means but i just it all it didn't even mean need to mean anything all it meant was that god was speaking to me regardless of how big or small or insignificant it might have been and i immediately ran after her and I was like this is going to sound so weird. I'm not claiming it'd be a prophet, but I knew you were going to wear this dress. 100%. Yeah. I feel like not a lot of words were really even said in that moment we just went, ah, each other. It was just like, it was just like, we both were feeling like, like that was so highly anticipated, like us running into each other like that. And we like already kind of talked about this on y'all's episode that we just filmed,

but there was like so much doubt in that too, which I think is so real in just like the world of women. Like there's just like this weird and I think that that's how the enemy really loves to attack us specifically like women in our community is like that weird kind of like catty defensive like competitive like I don't like we don't even mean to do it but I feel like it's just like you just have these seeds of doubt like that person's going to be like not going to like you or there's like that weird competitive not that I had any of that in my heart. You have that doubt like when it comes to other women and it almost like for a little bit it was working where we really didn't say anything to each other because we were literally sitting with the same exact thought.

Yeah. At the same time, you know, like, well, I don't know. I don't really want to. She looks like she's great and doesn't need to know me. Like, I don't know. Just stupid things. And so I'm just so grateful that we just, you, you did though. You were like, I'm breaking this off in the name of Jesus.

I'm going up to her and hugging her. And like, praise the Lord for that obedience because. Yeah, you really did. You did. You ran up. Like, I'm going up to her. I loved your boldness. It was bold.

It's just because it's so real. It's so real that especially as women, you can be so scared to just a So scared of other girls. Yeah, and like me and Ari are very much like we will truly go up to anyone ever. And because we know, but we know that. We know that there's got to be one person in the equation that will go step out in faith and be like, this friend might not want to be my friend, but I'm going to try anyways. But there was something weird that like I wanted to talk to you.

You wanted to talk to me. And I'm not even like that. I'll go up to the mailman to talk to him. And so it was weird. And so that's why when you guys were in the suite, I was like, no, I'm, I, I, I, don't even feel comfortable. And you guys were in a group of girls anyways, and that was intimidating in and of itself,

because it's just like, what if they don't want to talk to me right now? I don't know. So I just went up and I was like. So enemy coded. Just him being a freaking jerk. Weenie. I was going to say weenie. And then I said, jerk is weird.

He's a freaking weenie. And I'm sorry. The Lord is. Yeah. The Lord is the best, but the enemy is a weenie. He's a weirdo. He's a weirdo. He's a weirdo.

He's a weirdo. But he wants division, y'all. He wants division. And so, like, those little seeds that he was trying to do was giving division. And so, like, this unity is just so powerful. Yeah. That, you know, and just to have this peace and unity. And not all of us here, but, like, friendship.

And she's so sweet. Like, God is unifying the body. Yeah. It's so cool. And nothing can stop him, by the way. So that's how we're all sitting here right now. So praise Jesus. That he's stronger.

than any seed of doubt that the enemy could plant in our heads or anywhere. Absolutely. And also just like always assume, I think something that we try to live by for sure is that we're like always just assume the best of people until they give you a reason not to. Like people are truly innocent until proven guilty in our mind. And that's not to say that. I love that. It's not to say that we're naive because we're not.

We have very strong discernment. We ask for discernment all the time. But at the same time, it's just like I'm not going to live in fear my whole life thinking that people aren't going to like me. especially because it hasn't happened. Exactly. It hasn't happened. The rejection didn't happen.

She didn't actually tell me she didn't want to be my friend. So why are you living in a reality that actually doesn't exist? No. Just assume the past. Assume that people, assume everybody likes you. Like, you know what I mean?

And a lot of people are hurting. Like, a lot of people won't approach you because they're going through something. Yeah, they're going through stuff too. Yeah. So you're going up to that person could be a blessing to them. And it most likely is.

And it's like, it's kind of like what we were even saying, you know, in y'all's episode. Ashley, you had said, when you commit to something and you have that feeling to not do it, like, you're really robbing yourself of that moment that the Lord was going to bless, you know, like he needs you there. And I feel like even when it comes to things like that too, where it's like you want to have these friendships or maybe you want to approach a person or you want to like, you know, whatever that you feel planted on your heart. But if you reject it, you're robbing not only yourself, but like you just said, Ari, like you could be robbing that person from a serious blessing that day. That maybe they needed somebody to see them for the first time and approach them because no one ever. has, you know? That's, that's one of the great things, though, about going through the hard times is you are so desperate and hungry for people and community. And I just remember going through

those dark times. And you know the feelings, you have so much empathy and compassion for that. Yeah, and you can get so complacent in your own friendships. But when you go through those hard times, like when I had met her, I was so vulnerable. I just bled everything out to her right away and that's what made us so close. It's that vulnerability when you're in the hard times. Yeah, I love that. I like want to hear their friendship story. So that's perfect. That's a perfect transition. I want to hear about that. Like, tell me about the beginning of y'all's relationship and all of it, please. Yeah. It's like, I love y'all. I love the way that y'all just look at each other with so much. Like, are you joking? I love you guys. It was November 9th on my birthday.

And I was in some deep, deep pain. And we were at a modeling job. And I had went into the corner of the room because we were getting our makeup done and I couldn't get through it. They had to redo it a couple times. And so I went in the corner and I was just, what does that mean? Were you crying? Wow. Yeah.

I was like, I was just, I was so broken at this time. It was my birthday. It was the first year that I had, was without the partner that I was with. And I was in a really, really dark time. And so I was in the corner and I was really ashamed and I was really embarrassed and I was just like crying in my hands and I'm just like, please, please God help me right now. Like I am, I'm so sad. How am I going to get through this day? And as I'm crying and I'm praying, I feel somebody's hand take mine.

And I looked over and it was Angela and she was holding my hand. And you'd never met her before. And never met her. This is wild. And she looked at me and she said, she said, these words that I always had said since I was a kid that is so comforting and it was I don't know who you are but we're going to get through it together and she sat with me and she hugged me and she didn't judge me and she just sat there with me for about 30 minutes and I had to double take her because I truly

a couple months prior to that I was an isolation season yeah I had my friends but they thought I had lost my mind basically because I had had this moment of finding God. And I was so desperate for a godly Christian friend because no one was understanding this revelation that I had. And so I wasn't really connecting with anyone in the church. And the one prayer that I kept saying was, God, please bring me a godly friend, but someone who's been through some stuff like me, someone I can relate to, someone who just understands this pain and what I had been going through with my family. and the breakup and everything. And so when I met her, you couldn't have brought me.

If I ever doubt God, I look at her and I'm just like, he provided for me at the exact time that I needed. And not only that, but when I had found God, I still hadn't read the Bible. Yeah. And so I was still very much broken. And I'll never forget driving with her in the car. And I was just like so dead inside.

and I looked at her and I said, Angela, I don't know if I can do this. Should I get on some medication? And she looked at me and she said, give me a month. I don't you. She did you. She did the Bible. Wow.

She is truly my angel in human form. She never judged me. She sat there every single day with compassion. Every morning, she slept over every single day. She was right there with me. She spoon fed me, the Bible. And that's what changed my life. Yeah.

The word of God. And she just every single morning, and I was confused, I didn't know anything about the Bible. I had never even opened it. And every single morning, she just, word by word, explained everything to me and was so gracious and so kind. And she stuck by me through every little thing with compassion and love. Yeah, you're the biggest person. I'm so proud of you because you truly walked just as Jesus would have. Like everything that you're saying, Ari is just like, that is exactly how Jesus would have looked at Ari in that moment.

So like truly, praise God for just, dude, you are so obedient to the Lord. It's so admirable the way that you just like, we're like, you know what? We're going to do this together. That is what Jesus would do. And that's literally what he calls us to do for one another. You know what made me love her so much is that there are many things that people would have been like, I can't handle this. Yeah. And I would like say things to her and she'd be like,

all right well no that's why the lord was like this is gonna work and that's why i just knew i was like this is my girl and she had just known me for two weeks and i'm just flea and she just was like all right i can handle it i'm here we did everything together every single thing well the most beautiful part of all that i love you so much thank you for the kind words and and it was it has been the joy of my life to do that with you and by the way i was also spoon fed the bible so if i could ask if I could pray for every person on the planet is that they have somebody to spoon food them the Bible. Because it changes your life to like truly be disciples by somebody and have somebody walking hand in hand with you in your journey with Jesus. But when Ari and I met like I literally loved the girl. I can't tell you.

She was in her mind in like the worst time of her life. She was instantly my favorite person in the world. We laugh like it was nobody's business. And that's something that she and I have always shared is like we go through. pain. We're so close to Jesus. We walk hand in hand with Jesus, but we are not exempt from pain. We're not exempt from going through hard situations, but we have joy and we hold on to that joy for dear life. So when we first met, I was like, I love this girl. Like she's so funny. She's so sweet. She's so vulnerable because, like, sure, you can say all day, like, I helped her, but like Ari helped herself. Do you know what it is? I'm sure you guys know, if you're a believer and like you really follow Jesus, all you want to do is introduce people to Jesus.

So when you have somebody who is actually so willing. Like they want to know? Oh, we're running. Do you understand what I've seen in this girl's life? It's been the most encouraging thing for me to see within months. Her whole life changed. I had already been walking Jesus for like three, two, three years reading the Bible. And there were things that I was holding on to being like, no, I love Jesus, but I'm not going to give this up.

And I'm going to hang on to this. And literally within. It's convicting for you. Are you, do you understand that most of my transformation came? Because this girl is saying there being like a month and being like, yeah, I'm not going to do this anymore. And you're like, whoa, I've been here we go. Yeah, I'm not going to do it either, I guess. Yeah.

Wow. Seriously. See, and he knew the way that you guys would like help each other. It wasn't just like, Angie spoon feeding Ari. It was like Ari also low-key ministering to you too. And saying, God, I just want you nothing else and how that, you know, ministered to people around you. We really held each other accountable. That's why it's so important to have a good godly friend because you really hold each other accountable.

But that you trust to tell everything to, and that means even the dirtiest, nastiest, like, dark thoughts and things. Like, there's not a single thing that we keep from each other. And we, from the very beginning, we're both, like, from the East Coast. We're both straight shooters. Like, you know, we don't really, like, we don't play those games. Like, I'm going to say what I'm thinking. So I grew up, I lived in New York when I was a kid, and then I grew up in Connecticut, and then I went to high school. Florida right but my family is also Albanian so we're Eastern European so

nobody lies like it's very much like you tell the truth it is I don't like what you're doing I've literally no problem telling you and I don't care if you get mad you know what I mean like I love you so much that I'm not gonna let you keep doing that like beat around the bush yeah like there's not in a mean way no no not in a mean way but I'm not saying that it came off that way but it's like I feel like sometimes people get that twisted where they're like no I'm gonna tell you that you or this and it's like okay oh no no no no love though you know like not taking too far. That's why you, that's why what do you guys think about this? I think it's important

to have friends of all walks of life absolutely. But then there's also something about having a friend who's had a similar life experience to you that you can actually understand each other because the reason why we're so open is because there's no way she can judge me because she's been in the same position. Like I know your dirty laundry like you don't line and it's like the same. No judgment. Just just refinement and encouragement and edification of being like, no, this, you're best. better than this, I'm better than this. Yeah. We love Jesus and we don't want to hurt him.

Yeah. So after we became friends, we spent, so I was going through a breakup at the time as well. So at the time we were, it was just so- Giving common denominator. It's like we're both broken-hearted, great. Let's go through this together. And I literally, I stayed at her house every single day for a month. We watched the, so before she even started reading the Bible,

we watched The Chosen together. And like, she started to understand who Jesus was through the Chosen. And I was, and I was, and we were just, We were just every single night chosen, go to sleep, then we wake up and we read the Bible. I feel like the beginning of your story is so like mine too because like literally the chosen did the same thing for me because I was so new to the Bible that watching the chosen, I was like, wait, that's Matthew 1721. Like, you know, didn't it help you though?

It did. It did. I love it. I just said that. I forgot about that because that made me want to read the Bible, especially when I watched Mary Magdal and I was like, open the Bible now. I want to get now I want to really read it so yeah yeah it helps you because I'm a visual person yeah yeah I think one of the reasons why we got along so well too I was not familiar with like big

prayers like I can be a little bit like almost charismatic in my approach like I'm just very much like I love your parents bro they are they are they are yeah fall you just let the Lord take it no but they're like they're like I don't know how to explain it it's a fire it's like every weapon you could think of in the hell of them she hits all It's all up. No, she hits all fronts. The way you pray is like super natural. No, for real.

It is so powerful. So, so you as well. Oh, both of me. Allie literally dropped a bomb. This is more. I said in the image is not today. Okay, I interrupted. No, no, no.

No, I, we had a moment in the car. So very early on, Ari was just so receptive to like being spirit led, being touched by the Holy Spirit. She was hungry for it. I'd be like, one of the first times we hung out, I was like, do you mind if I put my hands on your head and pray for you. And I'm like, we're doing, like, I'm doing, like, I was desperate. You're like, and push your hands on my head, girl. And put your hands on my hand. And I'm, I'm like, I am praying my heart out with this girl. And she's just so receptive and she's just here with

open arms. And that's why God moved in her life the way that he did. She was willing. She was so humble, so willing, so obedient. And we had a moment where this is the best thing of my life. I'll never forget this. It was like a moment of true surrender that I saw. in Ari was we would always do this thing and we still do it or one of us will be in the shower the other one sits on the ground so that we can still talk and so we don't leave each other. Yeah, I'm obsessed. She was in the shower, right? And she's like sitting in the shower and she's like, she's struggling and we're kind of like going through similar stuff and I'm sitting outside and she's like,

she's just, it's just total surrender. She goes, and I'm like, what's up? She goes, do you think that Jesus will heal me the way he healed Mary Magdalene? Because we had just watched the children. and she found, you know, she discovered Mary Magdalene. And I was like, I was like, just ask him. And she goes out loud for the first time I hear really pray. She goes, Jesus, I welcome you to heal me the way you did Mary Magdalene. And I know. I'll never forget it.

And he did. He did. He literally started to heal my friend the same way he healed me. I struggled with my mental health when I found Jesus really badly. I was not okay. I struggled with alcoholism, with panic attacks, with intrusive thoughts, with so many things. And he started to heal me from the inside out. He delivered me from alcoholism. I didn't go to AA. I didn't have a sponsor, nothing. My guy delivered me. I healed from panic attacks. I'd never been to a day of therapy. I just prayed. I realized who Jesus was, what he did, why he died. And I realized that I have authority through Jesus to trample over serpents and scorpions.

however that first goes and literally and and then I watched her do the same thing that I did and it was just it's so rewarding to just be a part of it oh are you kidding me I get to just watch god do this through a person that I love so much yeah no I was just like watching on the chosen Mary Magdalene and I'll never forget it because I was so new to all this yeah and I'm watching her mind be tortured yeah by just evil spirits and and I just remember her hands on her head and I'll never forget it and she's just, she's being tortured, she can't, couldn't get out of it. And I've never related to someone so much. I was tortured.

Yeah. I never thought I was going to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I never thought I was going to get better. I thought, from what I had watched growing up, this is only going to get worse. And I was scared. I was scared. I was scared. Yeah.

And when I saw Jesus look at her in that moment and say, you are mine, and he took her in his arms and he held her and she was healed i had such a like a moment of being like he's going to do that with me too yeah stop it right now he loves you just as much i i i just one of the prayers that i always said was and and and i always i always say this on the podcast it's okay to take medicine god made it because sometimes people need it i was someone who wanted to heal in a different way i knew that i could I just, I wanted to, I just knew I needed to heal in a different way. I knew it.

And so I just couldn't believe it. I couldn't believe he healed me in such a way. Yeah. That's why I'm so relentless and I just want to bring people every day. I will spend the rest of my life doing this because people are broken. Yeah. And, and the power of Jesus is just, it's unbelievable. It's unbelievable.

It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. It's miraculous. Yeah. And I think that, like, Like mental, just all of it, like anxiety, depression. Like, it is so alive in our generation. Millennials and Gen Z, like these young kids, like, are struggling so much with their mental.

And they just have to live in it every day. And it's so heartbreaking because it's like when you're in your own head, it's hell on earth. It's literally hell on earth. And you know what it is? I was someone who comes from a bloodline of mental health. And sometimes that happens, you're just born with you. Some people have to work harder for their mental health because, you know, you have a parent or something that suffers. And so you watch that growing up and you think, how am I going to be okay if I have to watch them my whole life struggle, right?

Yeah. But that's why I am the way I am because it doesn't matter what you grew up in. It doesn't matter how much you struggled or if you think you can't get out of it. Oh, yes, you can. Because if I could get out of it, let me tell you, you can too. And I promise, that is my promise to you. If you seek Jesus and you, that is the beautiful thing about surrender. It's that intimacy and just coming to him, raw and being on your knees and saying, I need you.

I am struggling. I am hurting. I am broken. My mind won't stop. There's something in that when he comes in and he wraps his arms around you. and he takes you in his arms and he's there and he will heal you. Yes. And he will walk beside you through it.

Yes. And it's miraculous. And I know that every single person watching this will experience that. I'm not saying might. Yes. You will. Yes. Done.

Thank you so much, Ari. Oh, my gosh. I felt that. For everybody. It is yours to receive. Yes. The healing, we say it all the time. And that's why our ministry and our ministry and our.

podcast and everything that we do is so geared towards healing is because one we experience that in our own lives that he literally really you've seen it he went into our brains like a brain surgeon and healed us from years long trauma from things that we've struggled with our whole lives he took out not saying that it's been easy it's an uphill battle and guess what i take one day away from the word and and one day is enough of things to start come on creeping back it's not a one-and-done situation. It's a it's a lifelong pursuit of Jesus that will keep that healing in your life. Exactly. But like the miracles that Jesus and his disciples did in the Bible in the book of Acts, we can do that today. It happens today. The deliverance. Still, deliverance is real. The healing, like everything

that we read in the Bible, the way that like people struggled, people struggled with mental illness. Like we have always struggled with these things. Demonic oppression. It's always been a thing. They've been around since all of it. You think if someone, you have a voice in your head telling you to whatever yourself. Okay. You think that's just a random thought that you're having? That is a demonic. That is a

spirit. That is demonic and that is a spirit. That's that we need deliverance over. Yeah. Period. It's a spirit. Well, and I think what the enemy likes to do though, too, is that, see, guys, this is so wild because I feel like I always like we always talk about demons on my podcast. Yeah, maybe it's talking about the dark all the time, but it is. But he likes, he likes to hide behind the curtain of like,

you just hate yourself so much that you would say that to yourself. And so now we no longer trust ourselves or even like ourselves because we're like, how could I say such awful things to myself? Like, we don't even realize that there's a completely different thing operating behind that. Like that is not you and that's not God.

That is literally the devil that's demons. Those are evil spirits that are putting those thoughts. in your head do not identify with that don't say wow I must really hate myself no it's the enemy or I'm the problem you're not it's me it's just me it's just me I just have to accept this about myself yeah and I'm just I'm just like extra hateful like I'm just actually the worst like I'm just too far gone yeah you know just an anxious right I'm just I just have social anxiety I've gotten that comment sometimes um lately in my comment section when I'm live or whatever on my content where people are like I want to go to church and I'm like go and they're like I don't want to go alone and I'm like I went alone like go alone and they're like

well I have social anxiety and I said stop identifying that in the name of Jesus Christ right now we bind that up and send it back to the pits of hell to where it belongs never come back you do not have social anxiety in the mighty name of Christ no you don't you're going to go to church and you're going to make a community and you're going to meet incredible people who only want to love on you by the way like going to church is like should be should be the safest place you could go anywhere alone. Like, what do you mean? Like, you should be going into church and feel so loved on by these people and that lie that you're literally putting on yourself, I have social anxiety, I can't talk to people. Well, you are never going to find a community then. Like, you need to be in community,

go to church, do it alone. And you're not alone, by the way. You have Jesus with you. You're never alone. Yeah, I wanted to say real quick because one of the biggest things that I really battled with was I was a self-blamer and just feelings of unworthiness, especially after what I went through last year. I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror. I had no idea. I had no identity, truly. And when I began my friendship with Angela, that was one of the biggest blessings from you that you had taught me, because the thoughts wouldn't stop all day. I felt like I had, like I, it was awful all day, just screaming voices in my head. And at that time, what did you, did you just think it was you? Because you don't, you didn't know really what it was, right? You just know that you're

hearing all these awful things in your head. So what did you think? Of course I thought it was me. Yeah. Every single every single thought. Yeah. That's why I lived in such darkness. I didn't know anything about the enemy. I didn't know how to take thoughts captive. And I would start talking to Angela. I would say these thoughts are running my life. And she goes, I'll never forget to start laughing. And you go, oh, I know what to do. She goes, you laugh at that thought. When you hear those thoughts, you laugh at them. And this was before also, I learned how to speak scripture, declare it over you.

Speaking scripture is huge, because that is literally like acid. Like I just see like him like literally being, like the enemy I'm talking about. Like literally burning when we speak. Yeah. Yeah, it's a sword of the spirit. It's the only offensive weapon against the attack. only offensive. It doesn't even say it's one of.

It's scripture. It's that sword. When you started speaking the sword, but here's what's crazy, when you start speaking the sword, it goes away. What on earth? I used to have such bad intrusive thoughts, like to the point where I couldn't even, I couldn't be on a fourth floor balcony because I thought that I would fall off. Like crazy things. The enemy was attacking me in such an incredible, hilarious way because he's such a loser.

He made me so scared of everything. Wow. If you would have known me, then you wouldn't have recognized me. I, like, I'm legitimately fearless. I only fear the Lord, and I'm not even kidding. Now, I literally only fear Jesus. I was such a shell of myself. I was riddled by anxiety, no confidence, no boldness.

I'd enter a room basically apologizing that I walked in. That you exist. Yeah, that's just what my presence was. It was apologizing for even existing. And I was so scared of everything, and I would have intrusive thoughts that I was going to get hurt or someone thing was going to have. It was just overbeating and fear. That is, like, that's in prison.

Like, you were literally a slave. Truly. And nothing had ever changed the course of my life than when I discovered Second Corinthians 10-5. I demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God. And I take every thought in my mind captive and I make it obedient to Christ over and over and over again. That was the first scripture I ever memorized. That was the first thing I ever put my hands on her head. And I said, we are taking these thoughts captive because you are not subject to your thoughts.

You are to govern your thoughts. Your thoughts are at your mercy and subject to you. That is the first thing that really happened in my relationship with Jesus was that I was like, this thing bows down to the name of Jesus. Let's go. Come on. Do you know the freedom you have when you can, when those thoughts come in and instead of being in a spirit of fear, you like, you just, you, you, you just, you, You laugh at that?

Wait a minute. You don't believe them anymore. Do you understand what that's going to do to your life? That changes your life. Yeah. What's really important, I mean, and all four of us preach this, is reading the word. It's like when you know what Jesus, what God says about you in the Bible, that like every lie that you believe in your head can be actively combated by the word of God. There is a truth to expose every lie that you believe.

And so you have to read the Bible because then you will no longer. when these thoughts come up in your head, you know that God is for you. And so if there's a thought in your mind that is against you, that's not from God. So why would we believe that? It's like having the receipts, you know, like how everyone's like, well, where are the receipts? Like the receipts are the Bible. Like, so it's like we can try to stand up in confidence and be like, oh, no, no, I am worthy. Where are the receipts?

Okay. Bible. That's bringing scripture into all of it, like into your prayers, into rebuking all of it. Receeds. The enemy will be like, okay, yeah, that's really cute. But okay, Word of God. Like, he can't deny that. No one can deny the word of God.

I'll never forget. I have the funniest story. You remember this. Because before we started the podcast, I was, like, making videos on TikTok talking about Jesus. And I'll never forget Easter of last year, literally last year was right before the podcast. I had already been making videos for a little while. And I just felt the Holy Spirit prompt me to, like, lead people to salvation through TikTok. And it was so weird to, like, do, you know, lead people in prayer to accept Jesus.

but I was like, okay, so I make this video on Easter, and then I'm like editing it together on TikTok, and I'm about to post it. And I had gotten to a point now where I'm so in control of my thoughts to the point where like I can still think bad thoughts, but it's like they pass through and they go away. It's not a part of me. I don't need to listen to it.

I can literally just let it go. And so I'm having these thoughts, and I'm actually not even realizing that I'm thinking these things. We had gone to dinner the night before at this place. It's called I think Tocomadera. And I'm sitting there and I'm editing this video and I'm under attack and I don't even realize. Do you know what's going through my head? Isn't that funny when we don't even realize it?

In my head, I'm thinking, myself, I'm thinking you are so ugly. I'm editing this video. I'm going, you're so ugly. Everyone was laughing at you last night at dinner because you're so ugly and everyone thinks you're so ugly. I literally go, what the heck? I literally, I'm so unaffected by the enemy sometimes that I'm like, dude, get out of here. What the heck? No, literally, I have a voice in my head and I just my heart hurts for the people who would hear

those things and be like, I am. That's real. I am ugly and everybody was laughing at me last night. And then you become that shell of a human that are, you just like you, it's almost like you just, you get attacked, you get hit. It's like you're literally on eggshells. You're on a battlefield. You get hit once.

You get hit again. Now you're literally on the ground, just getting literally demolished. Yeah. And I think we have to take it seriously when it says that. that the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour and yet we're like oh you get the devil too much credit you talk about the devil too much um he's literally trying to devour me

right why would I not are we not going to acknowledge the lion that's trying to kill us like I'm sorry I need to pay attention we're not going to turn the other cheek we're not to be afraid but we are just stand firm in our authority I actually also want to ask you guys what you do like how I think there's probably a girl listening even myself I want to hear from you guys what you guys would do with this say there's like so many lies

and you're like you're feeling like that that oppression how do you demolish it through the word of God like how do you do it because there are sometimes when you can try to pray it away what if you're just tired don't have the words what if you don't know the scripture like what do you guys do I think when you you are in a situation where you no longer have the ability to fight for

yourself, the first thing you do is you call somebody else to fight for you. And I've been in that situation where I don't have the words to pray. I don't, because when you're, the hardest time to pray is when you need it the most. It's in times of distress where it's almost as if God, because it's like so easy to praise him when things are good. It's your immediate reaction to be like, thank you, Jesus. Hallelujah. But when things are bad, it's oftentimes you can be so consumed by whatever's happening, you've got to have somebody to pick up and call to fight for you. That's so good. And there are some battles you can try to do on your own, but sometimes you're like in so

much spiritual warfare that you're like, I need, I can't. There was a moment that I had a couple weeks ago actually, and I truly like couldn't even see you straight. I was having such bad spiritual warfare. And you remember. Yeah. And I, yeah, so that's a really great point that you said that. And you started praying for me.

Yeah. and it just was like lifted all off. I will never forget. I was in the Bristol Farms parking lot. Screaming. I was, no, because, you know what? She was real puking that level. It's almost as if sometimes when you're going through a bad time,

this isn't for everyone, but some people in my experience, you actually don't want to talk to God. Because there are moments where like when things are bad, it can harden your heart and that's such a scary place to be in because that's when you need them the most. And so I remember I asked you like, if I could pray for you. And you're like, you know what? not right now. Do you actually know what I, do you want me to be really vulnerable right now?

Do you want to know what I did when she started praying for me? I had the phone. I don't know what I would. This was the honestly one of the weirdest days. This is why like you have to be so careful. I'm on the phone. She goes, let me pray through it. I go, I don't want to do. I don't want it right now. She starts praying, you know what I do at Walgreens? I go like that. I put the phone down. Yeah. I put the phone. You were like, I don't want this. I hear her screaming through the phone. Yeah. Yeah. And then later on that night, you put your hands on me and we started praying. again oh and then we went to the worship yeah and that change because you're right like sometimes you're so on the ground defeated shot at like you're like you're you have I'm

want to go to God like yeah you're exhausted you just got freaking demolished by the devil right literally been on the ground shot at you don't want to go to God yeah you need your friend of war right war for you yes I think it's also you also have to remember that when you spend enough time with Jesus. So we talked earlier about like being the secret place, spending that intimate, quiet time with Jesus where nobody else is there. Nobody knows about it. And like being so close to Jesus, like, we know that the Holy Spirit makes is an intercessor. He makes intercession on our behalf. He will pray our prayers, the groanings of our heart. He'll pray them to God when we don't have the words to speak, when we don't know how to pray as we ought. And so there are those moments where literally

all you have to do, that tear is a prayer, just saying Jesus, there are times. There are times. where I am, where I'm fasting and I'll be like, God, my, my, I'm getting weaker and my prayers are getting shorter, but just hear my heart. So that's all you, just Jesus, hear my heart. Sometimes in my heart, that's, yeah. Sometimes he, like, knows so much more than you even know in that moment. Like, it's like those moments where you don't know what to pray, you don't know what to say, you don't even really know what you're feeling. You're like, I don't even know what the heck is going on right now, God, but I know something's off. Like, help me. Like, he knows exactly what to do in that, in that moment, you know? You know, I always say that everyone says, like, I don't know, I always say that,

how do you pray? When I feel him the most is when I'm at my weakest, when I can't even barely pray. Yeah. And I talk to him like he's my good father. Yeah. But just sitting there listening. And that's all you need to do. You go to him so raw, so vulnerable, and just be you. I love that you say that. When you don't know what to do because you just feel so depleted, you would just say, Jesus. Just say one word. Yeah. I need you. That's all you have to do. Yeah. Yeah. It's all you. have to do and he may not take it away he's walking with you through it he's going to comfort you through it he's walking you through it and i know when he doesn't take the pain away i know it's because there's a reason for it yeah but i know that he i don't get scared anymore i have a knowing and a

peace when i am in pain that i have a father that's walking with me through it right you know he's that light in my darkness and everything will be okay and that's the difference between when you don't have god and when you do have god when you don't have god you're just in this panic mode and your life is just falling apart. And when you do have them, because we're all going to go through storms, we're all going to go through these seasons of just hardships. But you know you have a father that is right there with you, walking with you through it.

Yes. So good, Ari. I love that so much. Yeah. So we talked a lot about Ari, like, your story and how you started with the Lord. But I would love to hear even just a little bit, whatever. You're just going to too. I want to hear it.

How did you, because the way that you were so bold in your faith, you know, meeting Ari was so strategic from the Lord too. Like you were really obviously rooted in him before to be able to lead her and help her. So how did you find Jesus? I need to hear that story. They need to hear that story. You're the best house ever. You're so cute. So I basically, I grew up with parents who I didn't grow up in the church.

I went to, I was Catholic growing up. and so I went to Catholic school my whole life. I went to Catholic Church every mass, every single weekend. I never, I didn't know anything in the Bible. I truthfully didn't even know John 316. Like I couldn't recite one thing to you. I had no idea. My mom loves Jesus so much.

And I grew up with a mom and that's probably why I am the way that I am that Jesus is like so tangible in his presence is because my mom would just be moved to tears. Like she would start praying and she would instantly be moved to tears. I just saw a woman who was so boldly in love with God and who just, she knew that Jesus was her savor. She didn't know anything in the Bible either, but she had such a, which is so cool, I think. Like she had, because now I'm like, how do you even know Jesus if you don't know the Bible? Because it's, they go hand in hand for me. That is Jesus.

Yeah. Yeah. And so, but my mom had such a, she had such a deep spiritual understanding that she had a savior who died for her and that he was just a call away. And so I grew up with a mom who prayed for me. me my whole life. My dad is not religious at all. He was actually Muslim converted to Catholicism to marry my mom, but not religious in any way. And so I grew up going to church, but I loved Jesus so much, but my love for him didn't affect the way that I lived my life at all. I was the warmest of the lukewarm. I sometimes recently I've been thinking, like, I've always called myself a Christian,

but to be a Christian means that you're a follower of Jesus. And there wasn't a single part of my life that followed Jesus. So I don't even know if I was a Christian, if I'm being honest, because I was a good person. Like I was good. I had good intentioned. I love people. I was just how I am now. But in terms of sin, by, you know what I mean? Like so when I got into high school, I started drinking, I started partying, I started getting involved with boys and just doing things that were not great for my life. I, Jesus really took a back seat in my life. I pretty much, I still loved him. I'd still go to bat for him and talk like I was on the debate team for Jesus. Like I'd fight everyone. I didn't even know what I was saying, but I would fight for him.

That just shows that your soul was like, you know, like, he already like created you to be this way. Yeah. Even if you weren't living it out, like you were still just like so bold for him. Yeah. I wanted to tell everyone about him. Yeah. I just didn't know. I didn't know what the Bible said. So when someone tells you, hey, you shouldn't do X, Y and Z. That's just like random people. saying things to me. I don't know that for myself. I haven't experienced it. I haven't received that touch from Jesus. So long story short, I get into college and I moved to LA when I'm 18. I get into college, start experiencing horrific panic attacks. I start struggling with my mental health for the first time in my whole life. Imagine the fearless person that I am today, that's who I was

my whole life until I became probably like 19 years old. I started to receive such an insane attack on my mental health, such bad anxiety, intrusive thoughts I developed OCD, which was what I was diagnosed with a few years ago. I started to self-medicate with alcohol. Wow. And so I got into this perpetuating, like vicious, toxic, violent cycle of self-medicating with alcohol to feel better from the anxiety. It's just wild because it makes you more anxious. Like I did that too with alcohol and it only made me more anxious.

Nothing makes you more anxious than drugs. drugs and alcohol. Alcohol was, it makes you, it fixes it for literally 20 minutes and then as soon as that high is gone, you need more. Otherwise, you're in a much worse position. And you're left with more anxiety, like anxiety and you're like, oh my gosh, I'm the worst person. I said all the worst things last night. It's awful. Anxiety was, you don't even know how that. I identified in that every weekend. Oh, I identified in that. No, 100%. So then when I, this went on for a few years. I essentially got sober when I was 23 years old. It was a Thanksgiving. I, I didn't know that I had a spiritual experience with Jesus, but I always marked this as the day that I got saved, technically, just because God's hand was so on my life.

And it's as if my spirit came into agreement with his and we decided together, we were done with this. It was a supernatural deliverance that he did on my behalf. I didn't ask him to. And nobody actually, no, that's not true. Somebody did. So just the way we talk about how Ari was spoon-fed the Bible, God sent me an angel. His name is Socrates. He's a pastor in Florida, and he became a really close family friend of my family.

And this man saw in me what I never saw in myself. Oh, wow. He prophesied over me the first day he met me that I was going to teach millions about Jesus. That part is crazy to me. I'm just like, what? Dude, I'm literally probably tipsy on the phone with him. You had a couple mimosas at brunch, and you're like, oh. Wait, that is so wild how he spoke that over your life.

Yeah. He saw the call of God on your life while you were still living in it. He did not. Wow. But that's what Jesus has always done for me and that's why I love him so much that even when I'm in the middle of sin, he still is looking to the future version of myself who will eventually obey him. And that's why he doesn't condemn. He's not judging me off the person I am. He's looking at who I'm going to become through him and his grace. It's so good. And so I'm like, like, okay, Socrates, yeah, me, ministry. Like it's just that, so you would have never. been able to convince me of that a day in my life. And then so, but I started to open up to Socrates, the anxiety is bad. He's, he's praying for me every day. He's teaching me the Bible. I'm still not picking it up myself, but I do realize, I do learn about authority, and I learn about boldness, and I do learn about the enemy, and I learn about spiritual warfare. And that's why we get a little bit upset when people shy away from it, because that's what saved my life, is learning that I do have an enemy that does roar around like a lion. And so I'm sitting there, and I

I start praying for myself and he teaches me how to pray. And God didn't fix it instantly, but a few months later, after I start this relationship with Socrates where he's praying for me, I quit drinking on a Thanksgiving. I just give it up one day. I put it down and I don't pick it back up. The next few months of my life are horrific. I was in fighter flight. I was truly just, I was on autopilot in survival mode.

And I'm sitting, God is. When is this? What year is this? This is 2019. Oh, so 2019 Thanksgiving is when I stopped drinking. And was it like you heard from God and you said, put it down? No. Like what was it?

Because a lot of people are in addiction and they just get back and they quit and they get back and then they quit. How do you cut it? The fact that you literally stopped. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my goodness. Because the addiction was pretty bad for about, so I had been drinking for a couple of years with the whole self-medicating thing. Like I knew my reason for drinking was not good.

It was not like everybody else. And then the last six months of my drinking were so bad to where I was no longer really functioning as a normal person in society. I was in the house all day long, simply medicating. And God had sent me a person. It's my ex-boyfriend. His name is Jake. He is still a really good friend of mine, really, really wonderful person. He basically, he was the only person in my life because I hid it so well.

And that's why you are truly as sick as your secrets, not a single person new, except this, except, Jake because he was the closest person to me. And so he basically came, it came to a head where he was like, he loved me so much. And he came to me with tears in his eyes and he said, I'm done. If you don't stop drinking, I don't want to be with you. And that was, it was like the perfect mixture of God's spirit, um, empowering me and also enough like self loathing and like reflection of being like the one person in the world who loves me so much doesn't want to be with me. It's over. Like, it's done. I don't know how it was. It was supernatural. I can't explain it.

I put it down, not even understanding that it would be the last time, hoping, thinking, maybe. And even the following months, I was like, I don't know if this is going to stick because I'm really anxious and I'm not feeling good. You guys, for about a year, you guys know how I am. I didn't laugh. There wasn't a humorous bone in my body for about six months. I was simply surviving. My body was trying to repair itself to go from drinking to having absolutely no vice. it was traumatic on my body.

It was really scary. Wow. But that pain was so necessary for me to first of all learn my lesson, be like, I'm never going back there again because that was really that hurt a lot. Yeah. And so anyways. Wow. Yeah. God starts, he starts pressing in on me.

I start listening to worship music. I have Socrates praying for me every single day. I start to pray for myself. That's really what changed. If you look at my journal during that time, it went from like manifestation. I'd be like, I am this, I want a million dollars, I this, whatever. I am worthy. Yeah, I am great.

And then it started to go to, dear Jesus. Thank you, Jesus. Oh, thank you. And there was a moment. That's so good. I know. And like probably I think about like a year into being sober I had written in my, in my journal, I confess with my mouth that Jesus is Lord.

And I believe in my heart that he died from my sins. I give my life to you. So maybe that's when I got saved because I don't even know where I heard that. I didn't read the Bible yet. but my spirit was speaking these things that Jesus is Lord and like again I didn't have community these were all things that the Holy Spirit was working in me I would don't even know where I heard this stuff wow it was him it was totally a secret place yeah you were getting in a secret place yeah and so basically I then I picked up a Bible one day I went to a Christian I went to mosaic I went to a

Christian church which was very different from Catholic Church I saw John's scripture on the on the screen and I was like, I like that. Whatever that is, it's telling the story of a guy I've loved my whole life, but I don't know that story and I want to know what that says. I opened John. I saw the book of John come to life before my eyes. My spirit was awakened. My eyes were open.

It was done. Me, Jesus. Forever. Wow. And that was what year? That was 2021. So I got so, or the end of 2020. I believe is when that happened.

Or 2021 is when I first started. Yeah, 2021, because that's when I moved into my Hollywood house again, or for the first time. And since that day, it's been a process, though. It hasn't, I did not throw everything away right away. It wasn't truly until I found community, until I started the podcast that God had, like we said earlier, where God oftentimes makes you a leader before you're even ready because it forces you to step into that position. because up until then I loved Jesus so much, but I didn't have any responsibility.

And the truth is that I ministered, I was ministering to so many people in my life. I was the backbone of so many people's faith in my life, but I was always the holiest person in that room. Yeah. And so there was. I love, you shared that part of your testimony before. And I love the way you said that where you were like, I'm the best Christian I know. I'm the best Christian I know. So I'm doing really well.

Right, right. But that's real. Like, when it's just you. Well, especially in a culture like L.A. Yeah. Are you kidding me? I was a I was a unicorn in LA. I was oh yeah sister like I you know but then I was I was really hit with the most beautiful thing of my life was when I started to experience conviction for the first time where I was like isn't that crazy conviction like I'm sitting there being like dude I've been doing this my whole life why I've never felt this before why is God taking this piece away from me no no no no no I can't stop this I can't what am I who am I without this I can't not do this. Wow. Yeah. Even with the alcohol, it's like one day you're like, well, I can't do this anymore. 100%. 100%. I mean, I was fully the type of person, even a couple months, a few months into my journey with the Lord where I like legitimately had a bottle of wine in my home

all the time. Like I was like, what do you mean? Wine with my dinner. Like that's normal. Like every day, you know? Every day having a class. For real, because I was like, wait a day, it's casual. It's in my home. It's in my mom. Everyone doesn't. Also, like I feel like I justified. wine a lot. Like I was like, it's not like I'm slinging back tequila shots in my house because that would be concerning, right? But not the bottles of wine that need to be restocked in your home. You know, like, I mean, I would go through like multiple bottles a week. And so it was, I was definitely getting to the place. I don't know if I was becoming addicted, but I was like, I was like reliant. Like I relied on wine to for like every emotion. It was, well, celebration.

I was like, oh my gosh, I got through today. Wine. Oh my gosh. I'm so freaking anxious. It was the hardest day of my life. Wine. Yeah. Um, I'm sad. I'm bored. Like it was literally like I mean I went to wine for all those feelings and it was like even when I go live on TikTok a lot apparently I keep bringing it up but I was like I would go live on TikTok and my followers would be like where's the wine like we're having wine and eat and it was like just like such a part of my brand even in the beginning of my journey so when like when we say the grace that the Lord has for us it's crazy because I'm standing here being like I love Jesus and I'm on live drinking my red wine. It's awful it's so awful but no it's real it's real. It's

so real and I think it's crazy because for me it really was like a switch where I was just like I just didn't want it anymore. I was like I just I just felt the conviction and I was like wait this is like I can't do this. I cannot continue to just have wine like casually in my home. I don't even really like want alcohol at all anymore and it's crazy because it's like a person that I was a year ago could have never imagined that I'd be saying that now like what do you mean I love wine like it was like a part of my identity in a weird way where it was like I love wine and I love pizza and that's just my life, you know? So anyway, yeah, conviction's real and it is so real too that the Lord can actually change your freaking palate. Like, he can change the things that you crave, the things you desire,

like that is real. He's that powerful. And it's just wild because it's like, even you. Like, look at you. You literally were like, I need alcohol to live. And God was like, no, you don't. Yeah, no. I mean, the situation with alcohol, like, God truly, there are some things where he just changes your appetite and he will give you confection. But then there's also moments where he's like, I actually have to save your life right now because there is, something's getting scary. And it was, and it was really scary. And honestly, this is sometimes part of my testimony that I skip over. You inspired me so much in, when you were on our episode, 20 minutes ago, that like you, and you said the raw stuff and sometimes you skip over that.

My situation was really bad. I would have died. There were moments, first of all, I wanted to die. And there were moments where I was like, I'm going to die. This is going to be the end of me. I had reached the point where the sin was no longer fun. The sin had lived. The sin had lived. literally lead to, led to death, and it was on my way there. And God had to step in supernaturally to free me from that. And so it's almost still, maybe one day I'll have an understanding of how that worked exactly, but all I can say was, it was supernatural, God intervened, and he saved me when I didn't deserve it. And that's what he's always done for me. He's always shown me favor when I didn't deserve it, even with our podcast that has had so much favor on it. And we're so

unbelievably grateful to the point where we look at each other all day. These are two girls who, who, we wouldn't have, we didn't even ask for it. I mean, it was to the point where when we started the podcast, I was literally being like, I still don't want this. I still don't want to be in ministry. I still, I just want to talk about Jesus because I love him, but I still don't want to change. And he still was like, I'm going to give you grace because I know who you're going to be in the future.

Right, right. You know what I mean? And so that's what he's always done. So in that moment, I did not deserve his forgiveness and his, I had not repented from the things I had done, but he knew I would in the future. And so he gave me, like, he flash-forwarded the grace and, you know, and the saving that he gave me. So I'm really, that's why we love him so much. He's so good. I'm so proud of you for sharing that. Yeah. So I just think a lot of people don't talk about addiction. Yeah. And it's a real stronghold. It is. Especially in the next gen,

like in the youth, like, man, there's so many things to be addicted to. And we don't talk about it enough. No, we don't talk about it enough. And especially, like, for women, I feel like it's different when a man gets sober. It's, like, heroic when a man gets sober. It's attractive. It's cool. It's noble. Like, he's so strong.

If a woman struggles with stuff like this, it's almost like it should be a man's problem. But it's like when women struggle with it, it's like she's damaged goods. Like, that's weird. Like, you're not supposed to struggle with that. So, like, you don't hear women talking about that. But, like, mommy wine culture is such a thing where, like, there are literal moms who sit there and they numb themselves every single night because they think like they've had such a hard day with the kids that they then numb themselves from even having to like deal with their kids.

Like this is a whole thing that's on the internet. And it's really like this is a female problem as much as it is a male problem. And it's wine. Like I'm telling you all it's like there's that justification that comes with drinking wine where you're like, this isn't even the hard stuff. Like it's not even I could be going way harder than this. I could be sipping whiskey. I could be doing whatever like bourbon.

And you're like, It's just wine. It's still a substance. You're still a substance. You're still drunk and you're still hung over. So. And the Xanax. Yeah.

Having a hard night, you need to sleep. I'll just pop the Xanax. And we got the vaping. Yes. The vaping. I mean, we go out. I don't see one person without one now. Especially.

Yeah. And that's everywhere. That's a big one. And it's starting so young too. Like, especially with the vaping. It's like middle schoolers. People are in middle school. Yeah.

Vaping. It's really, really pray for the kids. It's so scary. You're. You're under the sound of our voice. And you're struggling with that. Like you're not alone. You can be freed by it.

You can be freed from it. He wants to meet you there. It's not just like something that, you know, we don't talk about in the church. We need to talk about it more. Yeah. And if you're struggling too and you want to be freed from these things where you don't even know where to start, I would encourage you to simply invite God into the situation. Jesus, I invite you into the situation with the vaping.

the alcohol or whatever it is. And like I might not have the strength right now in this very moment, but I will through you. So just start to work. And he who completely, who started a good work in you will bring it to completion. All you have to do is invite him to start it and he will complete it. He did with me. I simply invited him and it took months for him to complete it. And he did on his timing when he was ready, when I was ready and when the time was right. And he'll do the same thing with you too because I know a lot of people vape because they don't feel good. Yeah.

Like they, it's like a social thing. Like they're uncomfortable, so they suck on. It's anxiety. Yeah. And God will do the work in you. He will put a boldness and confidence in you if you just allow him to. Yes. Beak him building intimate relationship with him.

Yes. You have no idea the transformation he will do in your life. Immediately. He like immediately comes. There is no like, hey Jesus come. I need you. And he's like, all right, give me 20 minutes. All right.

Well, I'm dealing with all this other stuff. So can you just hang on for like another hour? it literally says in the Bible and immediately he comes like when Peter was drowning when he looked away from Jesus and he was drowning it said immediately Jesus came and took him out of the water like that's who he is so the minute you call his name that's all he needs he just needs an invitation he just needs you to allow him and say come he's already there he's immediately there yeah yeah and it's also like it's something that we've really noticed in our walk is like yes he will bring it to completion but you also have to meet Jesus and you have to take responsibility for your faith.

And like I think about how I spent years reading the Bible knowing the truth of God's word and still actively rejecting it. And I've like tried to justify it so many times in my head like, well, I just, the enemy was attacking me and blinding me and scales were on my eyes. And it's like, no, I literally didn't care. And I was like, I just, I simply didn't care. And I had to take responsibility and be like, this is what I'm reading, this is the truth. If everything else is the truth, if all of God's promises have come to pass in my life and everything has been true thus far, but I'm picking these little things and deciding that they're not true because it's going to be really hard to get rid of them, who am I kidding?

What am I? I am truly, yes, I'm hurting God, but it's me that I'm hurting. I'm doing myself a disservice. And it's when you step out in faith to be like, you know what, this is what God says about it. and I'm just going to try. Just even try. Just stepping out in faith and trying. And then all of a sudden, it'll meet you afterwards.

The conviction meets you afterwards to be like, oh my gosh, he was right all along and it's actually not even as hard as I thought it would be. That's what happened with the alcohol. I came into agreement. We talked about surrender. I literally just surrendered. And I was like, you say this is bad. I'm going to believe you.

And then the revelation came afterwards of being like, oh, he was right the whole time. You know, but first came surrender. You came out of agreement. And I think that's how the stronghold can be broken. Yeah. Yeah. Is you have to come out of agreement with the lie. And the issue is I think a lot of people are still struggling with it

because they haven't fully come out of agreement with the lie that they need it. Yeah. To, you know, I need it. Well, I need it. Well, I'm going to have it. This is going to happen. Well, I'm going to have this side effect. It's so true.

Or I'm going to not be a good person. I'm not going to be likable. I'm not going to be happy. I'm not going to be at peace. It's like, break that off. The moment you come out of agreement with that is when the deliver. comes. But if you do not come out of agreement with the lie and come into agreement with truth, you're still in that, you're still in bondage to the enemy. Yeah. Yeah, that's, that's what I was going

through. I simply couldn't let go of, you know, my sin because I didn't think I could. I was just like, I don't, I don't think I can. Like, how am I going to let go? Yeah, you're like, what do you mean? I am stuck here. Something that I, I have been attached to my whole life. I'm going to just, you know, But when I did, it's not even hard anymore. And now I realize that's where my lack of peace was coming from. That's where my depression was coming from. That's where my anxiety was coming from. I was separated from God.

I was sinning. I wasn't doing the right thing. And I look back and I say, I couldn't imagine ever living that way again. Wow, yeah. It's so real. I know. I think back on versions of myself and I'm like, how did I survive that? Yeah, and although I have moments where, you know, it might be a little hard, it feels so foreign to me the way I used to live.

And it is so effortless now. And I'm just like, it's just, it's just you think you can't do it. And then when you actually take a leap of faith, God meets you right there and he takes those desires out. There's an empowerment that comes from the Holy Spirit. The Holy Spirit is a force, not just a force, because the Holy Spirit is a person that you should have an, an intimate relationship with and like you can be in constant fellowship with the Holy Spirit all day long you talk to the holy spirit invite him he comes like it's like a dance it's the most beautiful thing it's like a dance it's so beautiful but the Holy Spirit there is this empowerment that comes and scripture says

that you will not be tempted beyond what you can bear but God will provide a way of escape for you so like all these things that you feel like you can't live without let me tell you with the empowerment from the Holy Spirit you can there are things that have broken off me that I I literally marvel at the fact that I can live without them. And it's easy, not everything. And everything comes, sacrifice is supposed to hurt. And, like, we, I, sacrifice has been my word for the year. Especially after fasting.

And, like, fasting is such a sacrifice. I'm sacrificing my desire to eat and to feed my flesh and to feed my body. And so I'm sitting here and sacrifice, I realize, especially when I've done, like, longer fast and absolute fast with no water, and it hurts so badly, there was a moment where I was like, it's supposed to hurt. Sacrifice is supposed to hurt. Jesus really hurt when he died on the cross. That was the ultimate sacrifice, and it hurt him.

He felt every single bit of pain just because he's God. He's also human. He was not exempt from that pain, just like we're not exempt from pain. And so if his sacrifice hurt, ours is supposed to hurt as well. So when you're giving things up, it does hurt. You don't know the pain that I felt for at least six months, constant all day when I stopped drinking was unbelievable. My anxiety was a million times worse. I was, I fully had started disassociating from my brain from my body because my body was, my brain was

trying to protect itself because I was in such a heightened state of anxiety. It was really scary. And it hurt, but look what the end result was. You know what I mean? It's worth it. Yeah, you would not be here. Nope. If you had not come out of agreement with that lie. You would not be, you would not be ministering to millions just this but god saw it and he led you and it's just such a gift just that's where confidence comes from you want to you want to know how to be confident obey be obedient yes living right following the word of god when i started really living right and being obedient i i am truly a different person yeah the my confidence because i just live good I just I realized when I I didn't know because I didn't have the Bible but I was in constant shame and guilt

because I was living in sin. Yeah. It's just so rewarding. Well, and I think that that's what is so beautiful about following the Lord is that it and like being obedient and you know, he's got all these rules and we can't sin and we can't do this and that. But it's not rules because there's so much fruit that comes from it. Like there literally is so much goodness that comes from being obedient. to the Lord. Like it's not just like, yes, sir. It's like, no, like your life is about to be so freaking awesome. So much better. You have no idea. Like you're going to have the most confidence

you've ever had in your life. You're going to feel so clear. Like you're like, joy. Like, you're going to feel alive. We were talking about our spirit, like feeling dead before. It's like you, the fruit. Like that's why we believe in him because he shows up. He gives us the receipts and we see the way that he moves in our life. It's the reward. Thank you for saying this. Because that's exactly was my mindset. I was like, I have to follow these rules for a lot. Yeah. Yeah. What's it going to do? Yeah. And it's, but he's like, he's like, just wait.

He's like, just give me a couple months. Give me a couple weeks actually. You're going to see the fruit and then you're like, then you're like low-key addicted to that. You're like, hey, wait, actually, if I'm going to be addicted to anything, I guess it's going to be the Lord. Because it's so addictive would you see the fruit. You said this last night because we were just in this incredible community. I could cry. I mean, it was just like we were in heaven last night. And we were running on zero sleep. We were running on three hours.

We were hitting 24 hours of being awake because we had flown in at the frigging crack of dawn. And we were like, God, why is our tonight not ending? Like, why are we still going? Like, we were invited to this thing after church and we were like, but there's a reason that we're going, right? And what you said, we literally were driving home at midnight and we're exhausted. Half alive. But Ali's like, Ashley. I feel so a lot.

Yeah. I don't even remember saying that, to be honest. She's like, this is the best. Like, this is the most fun. High, high, high. High. It literally was giving high on the Holy Spirit. I don't even know what it feels like.

It wasn't even, it was worship. Yeah, it was worship, but then we also. It was just the people we were around. This freedom and I just believe God wants what we felt last night. God wants everyone to feel that like abundant joy explode. You're just like this like, nothing else on earth. Nothing else on earth can make you feel like that other than the Holy Spirit. And there's no hangover.

No. No, there isn't. Can I tell you that I'm so glad that you just brought that up? Because I could be having the worst of worst days. I could be getting attacked by the enemy. By the way, when we had told that story, when I put the phone down, we had went to a worship night that night. Wow. And the enemy just wanted to rip all of that.

I mean, I was how, I mean, I was delivered that night. And I had never, this is coming from a girl who didn't even know about the enemy a year ago. I was, I felt something coming off of me. Wow. It was one of the most insane experiences I have ever had. And you, and I just, I love that you guys say that because if you can just go to a worship night, it changes you. It really does. Even if you're dreading going, low key, which is like so silly because it's like, you know the fruit of like coming out of moments like that because you've seen it and you've been like hyped, like, amped up.

on the Holy Spirit, right? And then you're like, why do I, why do I not want to go right now? You know, like when you're, when you were in that rut, I bet a feeling you're like, I don't want to go to worship night. I almost did it. Yeah. Thank God I have no shame and I'm like, get on the car. Get on the car. That's right. Go in. Yeah. But man worshiping it. But it does and then turned it around for you like I'm telling you. Praise for heaviness. Go to worship nights, worship in the car. Please be in community with other people. Like even simply just sometimes it's not even the song, I'll just look over and I'll see someone like literally beaming for the Lord. And I'm like, okay, I'm back.

You know what I mean? Like just seeing around people who are so clearly in love with Jesus, you're like, okay, I love it here. You know? I love that so much. And when you're feeling that heaviness, it does say like put on a garment of praise, like praise for, like God wants us when we're feeling that heaviness, just start praising him, just start worshiping.

Like literally right on the spot, like everything there's just saying, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, holy. Force yourself to do it. Like I'm telling you if you're in the car, if you're, if you're, if you're, if you're, whatever you're listening to this, just start like, if you're feeling that heaviness, it just feels like one, start praising Jesus. Just say worship. Just put, turn on upper room. Like, just worship your heart out. Then call your friend. Yeah. Okay. But if you don't have that kingdom friend right now to pray over you, just worship my girl. Because it's just going to lift, it's going to lift it off.

Yeah. And you'll feel it. Yeah. In church. I mean, just, I just speak into people that are just coming to religion. I, when I didn't have anyone, I just made it a point. to go to church every single Sunday. And I went by myself. I had no one to go with me. That's what changed my life. I went there every Sunday. And I had those people that, you know, the people that stand in the front, I had them

praying on me every Sunday. And boy, did it change my life. You know what? I love, I love that you went to church alone because same. And I don't know if you were. Same. Because we all go to church alone. Oh, that's it.

That is on purpose. Yeah. Yeah. But like, I really think that. Sometimes it doesn't even, I mean, it doesn't, in the beginning at least, it doesn't really come from boldness. It comes from desperation. Yeah. Like, you're like, actually, I need the Lord so much that I don't even care I'm going to go alone.

Like, I need church. I need him. I didn't walk into church with confidence. I walked into church being like, ha. Hungry. Huh? I'm just desperate and I want to live. Give me breath.

I just want to live. Like, that's what I walked into church with, you know? You know, there was something so intimate that I look back that was so special. about going by myself. I felt such an intimacy with him just being alone. I was I look back and I'm just so proud of myself because it's it's not easy to go to church when you're so depressed and just to go alone and and have the boldness to go up to those people and be like can you pray for me? Can you put your in front of everyone? So yeah, I would love to pray for any listeners who might it's so crazy how like specific this topic has been. This is like crazy. It's different.

than anything I've been able to bring to the podcast before. So like praise Jesus, Hallelujah. That's incredible. But I really would just love to pray over our listeners right now. So if we can all just hold hands. Yeah. And we're just going to pray. Just pray for any healing. Lord Jesus, I just thank you so much for this community right here. God, you have such a army of women in this room, God. And I'm so grateful for them, Jesus. Thank you for blessing me. And everybody who's on the other side of this podcast with their presence, Jesus. Just thank you for being here, God and we just want to uplift every single person who is listening God I pray that through my voice they feel spoken to directly to them through you God Jesus that you know every single one of them

personally God you know every hair on their head Jesus that you hear them you see them you're right next to them right now actually wherever they're wherever like to their right actually like whatever their right is it could be in bed it could be on the couch it could be in the car it could be in the grocery store it could be on the sidewalk Jesus you're right there with them God and so I just pray that they feel that right now, Jesus. We pray for healing. We pray for whatever chains, whatever struggles they're going through Jesus. Addiction. Mental health was so heavily talked about in this episode, God, and we know that that was not an accident. That was on purpose. There are people who are truly dealing with that and they're struggling with it. Or maybe there are people in their

families. There's friends. There's people they know who are struggling with it too, God. And so we just pray for those chains. God, we pray that you remove them in your mighty name, Jesus. They are broken off right now in Jesus. They are breaking off as I'm continuing to speak right now. Jesus. so much, God, that we bind those demons and all of the negative thoughts that might be going through their head late at night, Jesus, God, we just bind it up and we send them back to the pits of hell where they belong, God, that they will never come back in Jesus' name, Jesus, God. Thank you so much, God. Thank you so much for this moment. Thank you for this space, God. Thank you for allowing to you, just continuing to use my sisters here as just vessels for your kingdom, Jesus. God, we are so

grateful for you. So I pray that in your mighty name, Jesus. Jesus name, Jesus name. Amen. Jesus. What a seal. What a seal. You're at the same time. Oh my gosh. I love you guys.

I love you so much. Thank you. All of you, Ashley. Thank you, Ari. Thank you, Ann, for being here. I love you all so much. I get sleep right now. And thank you.

And good night. Good night. All you do, we are just so proud of you. You are moving this next generation. You are doing something. You just been saved a year. Yes. You took at you.

Look at us. I am so proud. of you. Thank you. I'm so proud of you and we are so blessed to have you as sisters. Yeah. They love you guys so much. Thank you for using your platform for Jesus. Thank you for using your platforms and praise God that we can bring them all together. Are you kidding? They're like literally freaking out. This is amazing that we're all together right now. So something that I like to say in the end is like okay guys can we just do something really cool? Can we all just like walk a little bit more like Jesus today? Can we just show somebody why Jesus is so cool today? Let's

give people more compassion, more love, like just literally walk the earth with his light and his light only. Thank you guys for tuning in. Thank you for coming in for another Friday. Happy Friday, by the way. Happy weekend. Let's have a great weekend. Let's have a great week with the Lord. And we just love you guys so much. We'll see you in the next episode. Thanks for happy. Thanks for happy. Thanks for nice. If you guys can't wait until next Friday for another episode, you are in luck. subscribe to our Patreon where you will have early access to future episodes and occasional surprise bonus episodes. Make sure to follow us on Instagram and TikTok for more content.

And if this episode spoke to you, please write us a five-star review since it helps the podcast so much. We'll see you guys next time.