Christ With Coffee On Ice - i physically don't know how to forgive them

Episode Date: June 6, 2025

Hey y'all ! Welcome to another Friday with CWCOI ! In this week's episode, our host, Ally Yost talks about forgiveness. Forgiveness is a hard but in Jesus we have the perfect role model of what it looks like to forgive and love others well. The Lord has so graciously shared revelations and visuals with Ally about forgiveness and so we unpack all of that and ultimately touch on what it looks like to forgive and love the way Jesus did and calls us to. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 _____________________________________________  ☆ REP CWCOI MERCH ➤ https://allyyost.com ☆ MY BIBLE (code 'ALLYYOST' at checkout) ➤ https://hosannarevival.com/collections/beautiful-bibles/products/nlt-notetaking-bible-versailles-theme  ☆ TUMBLER LINK ➤ https://allyyost.com/products/travel-tumbler ☆ JESUS FREAKS | OFFICIAL TRAILER ➤ https://youtu.be/DbbJHm0WfJg?si=ErjC8Z9_TmC5VLar ☆ EARLY ACCESS TO EPISODES AND BONUS PERKS ➤ https://patreon.com/CWCOI  ☆ GIVE TO CWCOI ➤ https://www.paypal.me/CWCOI _____________________________________________  Connect further with us ! TikTok ➤ https://www.tiktok.com/@christwithcoffeeonice  Instagram ➤ https://instagram.com/christwithcoffeeonice _____________________________________________  Connect further with Ally !  TikTok (2M) ➤ https://www.tiktok.com/@ally_yost  Instagram ➤ https://www.instagram.com/ally_yost/  ShopMy ➤ https://shopmy.us/allyyost Pinterest ➤ https://www.pinterest.com/ally_yost1/_created/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with coffee on ice. I am your host, Ali Yost, and it is a joy and honor to be here with you guys. I love you. I feel like it's been so long since I've been here in the studio, and it's just a joy, like truly to hang out with you guys. We have our coffee on ice. Super exciting. We're using our glass mug today. And we do have our Christ. Obviously, he is with us all the time. He's always with us. But we have our word here, which we will be also referring to today. Guys, I'm really excited for this episode. I feel like we've talked, actually, I don't know. There's been so many episodes that we've made.

It's been almost two years of doing this, which is just such an honor and a joy and a privilege to do with you guys. But sometimes I'm like, have we talked about this? If we have, it's always good to talk about things again. And to kind of have a fresh awareness of these things, we just always need our minds to be washed by the Lord, regardless, you know? Well, actually, we are quite broken. I was going to say, it doesn't mean we're broken.

We are, actually. That's why we need Jesus. But, you know, sometimes we need reminders of things. And it's funny, we can hear a message once and it'll give us, you know, a really special revelation at that time. And then we can hear it again and it gives you an entirely new revelation. Or again, it just gives you a fresh washing of like, wow, I needed this reminder. So whether we've talked about it or not, whether we've done an entire episode about this before or not, we are going to be talking about forgiveness today.

I don't know. Why is that so hard for some of us? It is. It's hard. It's a hard thing to do. And it hasn't really been something that I have really known how to navigate until meeting, Jesus. I feel like he is the ultimate role model when it comes to forgiveness, how to do it well, and how to love people well, and how to do it in a place that's still wise where we are guarding our

hearts. And I don't think that the Lord ever calls us to allow people to like walk all over us. There is still a way to forgive people and to love them well and protect our hearts. So I wanted to talk about forgiveness today. So I'm excited to talk about it. I'm going to refer to some things that and honestly like a personal revelation that the Lord gave me. That's the biggest. inspo for this is I had a revelation about forgiveness from God a few weeks ago where there was this thing that was going on in my life and I had made a TikTok about it and you guys were like, can we please talk about this on the podcast? And I do believe that there could be so much more that could be said about this topic than what I had even shared on the TikTok. So I'm excited to bring it to you guys.

And I would even love to share, you know, some personal revelations and lessons that God has shown me and visuals that he showed me about forgiveness. And I also went on my Instagram and I just asked you guys if you had any questions just around the topic of forgiveness because I feel like there's a lot of kind of avenues and things that we could discuss under the umbrella of forgiveness. And so we'll touch on some of those as well. So I'll, I'll just lead with the personal revelation that I felt God show me. And I was going through this situation where I had been hurt by someone that I loved. And I felt in my heart that I had genuinely forgiven this person. I didn't feel like I was bitter over it anymore. I was like, okay, God, I believe that I've forgiven this person.

and I know I've forgiven them because I actually have so much love in my heart for them. I feel like that's the biggest indicator to know whether you've actually forgiven someone in your heart or not is whether like when you're thinking about that person, do you still have so much love for them? And it's not when you think of them, you get tense and you tighten up and you kind of get angry, you get frustrated or you're like, oh, I don't even want to think about that person. There's a difference, you know? And so love versus bitterness, I believe forgiveness has to be rooted in love.

And so if you really feel you have a softened heart and you have love for that person when you think about them, there's a good chance you've forgiven them in your heart, which is great. That's like, honestly, the biggest step is being able to forgive that person in your heart. And so I'm thinking about this person and I'm like, no, I do. Like I have so much love for this person, God. Like, every time I think about them, I actually have so much compassion for them. But also simultaneously, I had this feeling where I was like, but I can't really be close to them right now. Like, I can't be talking to them all the time right now.

I can't be near to them all the time. So what is that? Like, I was so confused by what that meant. And it made me look at myself and be like, okay, is there unforgiveness in my heart, God? Like, I don't really know how this is supposed to go. This is kind of a new thing for me with the Lord. You know, I've only been walking with him for a couple years. So sometimes things like this come up and I'm like, ooh, okay, I know how I used to handle

these things and I know how I used to feel. So is this like normal, God? Is this the way that forgiveness is supposed to be handled? Because I want to, you know, I have fear of the Lord and I want to, I want to handle it in a way that even Jesus would handle it. So I'm like, okay, why am I not able to even physically talk to this person right now if I have forgiven them? And in that moment, y'all, I felt the Lord give me a vision of, well, two different scenarios,

okay? Because people can hurt us in an intentional way where, honestly, their flesh was like, I actually really just want to hurt them. Or they could unintentionally hurt you. So God gave me two visuals. And they're going to sound silly as I say them out loud. But whatever, just bear with me, okay? But both of those scenarios being very different, one being like, yeah, no, I was out of my

right mind and it wasn't okay and I was I wanted to hurt you and that is not an excuse I'm sorry I was fully aware that what I was doing was going to hurt you and then the other scenario is I had no idea that what I was doing was going to hurt you this deeply I'm so sorry please forgive me so both scenarios we're asking for forgiveness there's an awareness and an unawareness is that a word whatever there's two different scenarios in that type of hurt I saw God show me like one of the I knew exactly what I was doing in the moment it was wrong I'm so sorry somebody punching you in the face and giving you a black guy. Like, they knew what they were doing when they threw that fist, okay? But they've punched you out of whatever they were going through in that moment. And then another scenario where somebody's

backing up and you're standing right behind them and they've stepped on your foot with like a pointy heel and you're like, ow, but they didn't see you, right? Like their back was to you. And so both scenarios, you're hurt. They're different, but you're hurt. So both people can be like, the person who punched you in the face, they're like, oh, I just backed it out in so much anger. I cannot believe that I just punched you. I'm so sorry. Or I was a lot. I was. mad and I wanted to hurt you. I'm sorry, please forgive me. And you go, hey, I understand. Obviously, you know, anger isn't an excuse to sin, but I forgive you and I love you and I trust that, you know, what you're saying right now is true and that you won't ever do it again. If that's what that person

is saying, if they're like, I'm sorry, I will never do that to you again. Please forgive me. I repent. And you go, okay, I love you. I forgive you. I forgive you. I forgive you. And then the other person who stepped on your foot, they're like, I didn't even see you there. Oh my gosh. I backed up. I had no idea that you were there. I stepped on your foot. Are you okay. I'm so sorry. please forgive me and you go hey it's okay i mean yeah it hurt maybe next time we make sure that there's other people around us behind us whatever but like hey it's all right i forgive you i love you and so what god showed me after that though is that you can have forgiveness in both scenarios right but what is still there is the bruise on your foot or on your eye like forgiving someone doesn't mean that

that that boo-boo isn't gone yet i think that's what i was feeling in that moment i believe that that's what jesus was trying to reveal to me is he was like hey you're understanding of forgiveness right now until I change it because he was changing that for me. Your understanding of forgiveness is you're forgiving the person in your heart. And then your bruise or the boo-boo that was left from that thing that hurt you will just suddenly be gone. And sometimes that's not the case. And so I actually felt very validated in that moment.

I was like, wow, God, okay, so there isn't anything wrong with my heart right now, you know, because I was like, I could have sworn that my heart was softened and I do love this person, but I kind of needed space. Like I wasn't ready to be back to normal, hunky dory, you know, whatever, in constant communication with this person because, I don't know, I was just kind of still bruised and I was hurt. And I felt the Lord be like, that's okay. Like, it's okay. You can still forgive them. You can verbally tell them that. You can say, hey, I've forgiven you. And I want you to know that, like, my distance right now is not out of any unforgiveness. But I think I actually just kind of

need to, like, take some time to heal from this with the Lord and, like, let this boo-boo kind of patch itself up, you know? Yeah, I felt really validated by the Lord in that. And so, anyway, I share that with you guys because I, believe that can even give a fresh revelation for some of you as you're listening. And just no guilt. No guilt if it means that you still need space to heal from something. If somebody has sinned against you or has just simply hurt you, it is physically possible to forgive that person in your heart, but still need space to heal. But it doesn't mean you're not going to come. Like me and that person, I was good. I just needed time. Yeah, I don't know. I was looking too much at myself, like maybe

there was something broken with me or that I hadn't fully forgiven them if it meant that I did need that space and I felt Jesus be like, girl, you're good. Take the time that you need to heal from this boo-boo because it is a wound and it's still there. So that was my personal revelation with forgiveness. There's a couple scriptures that a lot of us might be familiar with already. I feel like these are very popular ones around the topic of forgiveness. But Ephesians 432 says, be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other just as in Christ God forgave you. Matthew 614 reads, for if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your Heavenly Father will also forgive you.

Colossians 313 reads, bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Isn't it funny that like a lot of the scripture that's said about forgiveness, God brings it back to the way that he's forgiven us? I feel like God just really expects us and we can only do it through the power of the Holy Spirit. So again, we say all these things of like, God, you know, expects these things of us. If we're going to identify as Christians and followers of Christ, we also have to reflect the same

characteristics as God and the same things that he does for us. And that's not in a way where it's like, gosh, that feels so unachievable. If it feels unachievable for you, it is without the Holy Spirit. And so the strength of forgiving someone, I also want you guys to remember, this is not something to forget, is that you are not expected to do that by yourself, that it is through our weaknesses where the Lord gets to be strong for us, that goes for forgiveness. Like if you feel really weak in this area of your life or maybe just like specifically over a certain individual, I mean, invite God into that. Invite him into your heart with that. Invite the Holy Spirit into that moment

and say, okay, I'm really weak in this moment. I'm fleshing out God. I'm so angry at this person. I don't want to forgive them. And there's so many different scenarios of pain and hurt. It could be not even that somebody's hurt you one time, but they've hurt you over and over. And we can touch on that in just a second about just like different kind of scenarios and like what is acceptable of a level of forgiveness or whatever based on maybe what they've done to you, once, twice, a million times, whatever that looks like. But if that's hard for you, I just encourage you guys and I want you to know that it's nothing that we can do on our own without God. And so if you truly have questions of like, Lord, I actually don't know how I will ever get to a place of forgiveness for this person. it seems impossible. Remember who you're praying to. Remember who you're talking to. Remember that you are talking to God who is the only one who can create miracles and make miracles happen. So if you believe that

it would literally be a miracle to forgive this person in your heart, I mean, you know the guy for that. You're talking to him. He is the miracle worker. And he can give you a supernatural strength. He can give you a supernatural heart for this person to forgive them. I believe that with my whole heart. And I know that that might be like kind of a hard thing to try to swallow, depending on your situation. Like, I don't know who you're thinking about right now. I don't know the person that's coming to your mind. I don't know how deep that wound could be,

but I want you to know that I acknowledge that it could be very, very deep. And that the Lord, he understands that. I also just want to clarify, I want to say this about Jesus's heart for you and your situation right now, is that by him asking you to forgive this person, I want you guys to hear me, by him asking you to forgive this person does not invalidate the pain that you have suffered from what they have done to you.

Like, Jesus is not here to invalidate and say, I'm sorry, you shouldn't be hurting over that anymore. Like, you need to just forgive them. I know that it, like, hurt really bad and it cut really deep, but you need to forgive them. Like, he's not invalidating that pain. And I feel that for you. I do.

And I feel like that's what he did for me in that moment where I was like, why do I still need space, God? And he's like, honey, you still have a bruise. Like, that person cut you deep. They stabbed you in the back. Like, that's going to take time to heal. So there's no invalidating. of your feelings. There's no invalidating the hurt and the suffering that you went through in results

of that pain. I felt the Lord wanted me to tell you that he sees that pain. He sees it. And he's not here to invalidate it and say that it's too much or it's ridiculous or, you know, it's silly. He wants to meet you in that pain and he wants to help you heal it while also helping you have a softened heart towards this person to forgive them, just as he has forgiven us. So really all he wants to do is he wants to show you how to be more like him, which is just like the coolest thing ever. What an honor. that literally the Messiah, Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior, wants to teach you how to be more like him. Cool.

That's the coolest thing ever. And he wants to mend your wounds through that. He wants to do it all for you, actually. But all it takes is like, okay, God, like, I'm just going to open my heart to you because I've been trying to do this on my own. I've been trying to forgive this person on my own and all my strength and I've been failing.

I'm bitter. I feel like I've forgiven them one day. And then the next day, I'm bitter again. And I just can't keep going back and forth. Lord, I need your strength. He's there for you and everything that you need through this journey of forgiveness for one person, a multitude of people, whatever that looks like in your life. He literally wants to be there to do all of it for you and with you. And so this is not a journey that you have to do by yourself.

This is not a journey that you have to find within yourself. Like, believe it or not, forgiveness is a very thing that God wants to give you strength for. Matthew 1821 through 22 reads, Then Peter came to Jesus and asked Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister? who sins against me. Up to seven times, Jesus answered, I tell you not seven times,

but 77 times. Now, I don't think that Jesus is telling us that we're supposed to be keeping tallies on a person. Because also, wait, I'm about to bring up a scripture that says that. The definition of love, it keeps no tallies of wrong, it keeps no count of wrongs.

We'll read it in a second. He's not encouraging us to keep tallies, so we're not going to take that legitimately, but basically what Jesus was saying is like, it's infinite. The amount of times that we are supposed to forgive our brothers and sisters is infinite. And I know that that's what Jesus is saying, because if we're looking back at the other

scriptures we just read where we, where he is comparing our forgiveness to his forgiveness for us, well, what is God's forgiveness for us? Does he keep tallies? Is he like, once you hit that 77 mark, you know, once you hit that 7,000th mark where I've had to forgive you that many times in your life, I'm sorry, it's over for us. Like, I'm not going to be your father anymore. I'm not going to take care of you anymore. You're not going to heaven anymore. Like, that's it. You're done. That is not God's heart for us, right? At least that's not what we should believe. That's never what he's ever told us. He's always told us that his mercies are new every day. Okay, well, if his mercies are new every day and his grace is new every day, that means that his forgiveness is also probably new every day,

which is infinite. His love for us is infinite. If we're going to believe that Jesus asks us to forgive others and to love others the same way that he forgives and loves us, which is infinitely, we are to love and forgive others infinitely as well. Oh, I want to read that scripture. Let's look up the definition of biblical love, shall we? Guys, it's so funny. I'm going to show you this. Sometimes my Bible looks like this. Sometimes it looks like this.

And then sometimes it looks like this. So I don't know if anyone feels seen in that, but it's like some days I'll be going in. And I'll have all the notes and the highlighting in the scribbles. And then you flip just a couple more pages later and there's nothing and it's blank. Whatever. It'd be like that sometimes. Okay. First Corinthians.

Okay. Ready, everybody? This is the biblical definition of love. from our God. This is what he says love is. It's 1 Corinthians 13, 4 through 7. Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance.

That's convicting, actually. That convicts me because sometimes I do get irritable. And sometimes I do demand my own way. And sometimes I am jealous. I feel like that would convict anyone. It's such a good reminder that that is actually how we're supposed to be loving everyone. Like literally, strangers and the people that we love and adore. Love is patient and kind.

I'm like, yeah, I do that. But then love is not jealous, oops, or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable. And it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice, but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, and is always hopeful. And endures through every circumstance.

That is so beautiful. I had to read it again, y'all. It's so good. Okay. So I mentioned that just in regards to what I was referring to, where it says that it keeps no record of being wronged. So Jesus isn't telling Peter. hey, but once it gets to this point, make sure. Forgiveness is a core doctrine, emphasizing God's grace

and the need for Christians to forgive others as they have been forgiven by God. It involves releasing resentment and bitterness, letting go of anger, and choosing to move on, all while maintaining a perspective of justice and accountability. Really, really good. Forgiveness is not about condoning wrongdoing, but about releasing the emotional weight of the offense

and choosing to see others with a perspective of God's grace. Christians believe that God has forgiven them for their sins through Jesus Christ's sacrifice, and this forgiveness is the foundation of their own ability to forgive others. Forgiving others, especially when they have deeply hurt you, is often seen as a difficult but necessary act of obedience and faith in God's grace. Forgiveness is crucial for healthy relationships. It allows individuals to move forward from past hurt and rebuilds trust, while unresolved bitterness can damage relationships and even lead to further conflict.

While forgiveness is about releasing resentment and anger, reconciliation is about repairing broken relationships. Forgiveness is often a necessary prerequisite for reconciliation, but it is not the same thing. Many Christians view forgiveness as a spiritual practice. That's really good. Believing that it helps them grow closer to God, release emotional burdens, and experience a deeper sense of peace. Okay, I'm obsessed with that. And I think that that's like a POV that we really should have a lot of times too. in forgiveness. I actually just, I felt this revelation just literally yesterday when I was talking to

the Lord about how I really wanted to like act out in my flesh in a moment because somebody had hurt me. And I was like, this is so unjust. God, the way that this person has hurt me today and the way that they're talking to me. Like I literally didn't even freaking deserve that. Like, I'm just here, live and laughing and loving. Don't think I did anything wrong. And sometimes that's the case. Like, not in a prideful way, but sometimes that is the case where you're like, I didn't deserve that. What the heck was that? And you know what Jesus hit me? Okay, I think everyone needs to hear this. This is what he hit me with. He said, yeah, so I'm the most innocent man on earth in heaven to ever exist. Jesus is so innocent. He's perfect. There's a lot of things

that have been done to him that were so unjust and unfair. He even reminded me, he's like, girls, sometimes you get mad at me. I'm so innocent. I'm your dad. Like, I love you and I'm here to provide for you. You're going to get mad at me? Like, that's not fair. And I was like, right. Okay, so that was convicting. But he reminded me that. He was like, sometimes it's not fair. This is I had to do when it was hard to maybe look at the person and forgive them and love them is I was like, okay, Jesus, I'm going to look at you and I'm going to love you by loving that person. So now I've learned this new, I mean, this is giving spiritual practice. I know this new technique where if it's really hard for me to look at that person and be like,

I love you, I forgive you, I'll look at Jesus and I'll say, okay, Jesus, how can I love you well by loving this person that I know you love? You know, when you think about, okay, I don't know if this is the same, but I'm just going to say it, whatever, but like, you know how you just want to, like, if you are in a relationship with somebody romantically or friendship, whatever, but like you love this person so much. And there's people in their lives that you know they also love and adore. And you just want to love those people because of how much you love that person. You're like, obviously, I'm going to love the bejibers out of these people because I love this person so much and I know how much these people mean to that

person. It's kind of like that. You know what I mean? Like that was the loophole that I felt Jesus showing me in that moment is he was like, hey, if this is hard, just know that loving them well is loving me well. And I know you love me out. I know you love me. And I'm like, yeah, I love you Jesus. And he's like, okay, great. So we have that. So then what you're going to do is you're going to use me as a cornerstone to like love me by loving them well. And I'm like, okay, you're right. And so I love the way that that was just said because it just, I feel like that's exactly what Jesus was encouraging me in, is that forgiveness is a spiritual practice, believing that it actually helps you grow closer to God, releasing emotional burdens and experiencing a deeper

sense of peace with God, which I did. I was like, wait, God, this was good for our relationship. It wasn't even so much about me and that person. I mean, it is, but it was like about me and Jesus, too. I felt like it strengthened something in my faith and just my relationship with the Lord by practicing that. The scripture that came to my mind when Jesus was encouraging me to do that with that person, where he was like, hey, you're loving me by loving them. Here's where the scripture is, guys. It's in Matthew. It's Matthew 25.34. The final judgment. Then the king will say to those on his right, come, you who are blessed by my father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you fed me. I was thirsty and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger and you invited me into your home.

I was naked and you gave me clothing. I was sick and you cared for me. I was in prison and you visited me. Then these righteous ones will reply, Lord, when did we ever see you hungry and feed you? Or thirsty and give you something to drink? Or a stranger and show you hospitality or naked and give you clothing? When did we ever see you sick or in prison and visit you? So this is what Jesus is saying about himself. And they're like, wait a minute, when did we ever see you like that though? And the king will say, I tell you the truth.

When you did it to one of the least of these, my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me. What Jesus is saying is that when we give to the, the people who need. And it could be forgiveness. It could be clothes on their back. It could be the people who are in prison. He's using all of these scenarios. The people who are thirsty, you gave them water. The people who are hungry, you fed them. Like that could be literal. It can be spiritual. It can be relational. But what Jesus is saying is because you gave to that person, what they needed, you gave to me. And so Jesus is saying, like, I was that person who was in prison. I was that person who was hungry. I was that person who was thirsty. I was that person who needed forgiveness because he loves

that person. And so by serving that person, Jesus is saying, you're serving me. And you showed up for me. And so I think that that is so convicting when it comes to giving in general and just seeing Jesus in people and seeing that Jesus loves these people. And also it's like if Jesus would do it for the person, we should too. If Jesus did it for us, we should too. Forgiveness is not about excusing wrongdoing or ignoring harmful actions, it is about choosing to release the emotional burden of the offense while still holding others accountable for their actions. This is something that kind of gets blurry for people where they're like, okay, so if this person has continued to show me their fruit, and they've continued to show me that they are capable of hurting me over and over and over again,

or it's like, you know, they promise that they would change and then it keeps happening. You know, you can argue with that scripture we just read in Matthew where Jesus is like, forgive them 77 times times seven or whatever infinitely right you're supposed to infinitely forgive people but then you're like okay but how do I do that without excusing the behavior because there is a level of accountability and you know justice that is necessary in situations especially if a person is hurting you over and over again and you're like okay this is obviously not important to this person they're not changing their behavior the way that I keep getting hurt over and over again there's just no change there's no sanctification there's no correction especially by the

spirit of God. I think that it's obviously really important for us to hold each other accountable in our actions, especially within the church, and to say, hey, that's not okay. Like, what you did to me was really hurtful. I'm willing to forgive you because I know that that's what I'm supposed to do and I want to and I love, I still have so much love for you. But like, this is not okay and it can't happen anymore. Then also coming to a resolution, maybe at the end of that, if this is what feels appropriate for the situation and be like, so how can we, moving forward, make sure that this doesn't happen? happen anymore. And sometimes it could be a simple thing of like, I don't know, miscommunication. There's plenty of conversations I've had to have with people in my life where I've been like,

hey, so when you do this, this is how it comes off, like to me. This is what it communicates to me. I don't know if that's like what you mean when you do those things, but it hurts me in this way. And so I think we need to move forward with a different resolution of like how we can handle that so that that isn't happening anymore. Like I don't know if that's too vague. But I feel like per situation, sometimes it could be a misunderstanding where you're like, yeah, no, so that hurts me. So we need to change that. Or like maybe we need to meet somewhere in the middle for clarity. Forgiveness is not an excuse for wrongdoings. And I think it's still healthy to set those boundaries. If there are people that are obviously showing you that they have no problem,

no remorse, like they just don't do anything about it. It is okay to set boundaries with that person in your life and say, hey, I've forgiven you for all of these things. But this isn't working anymore. Let's see a couple of the questions that you guys had around forgiveness. And we'll just like touch on them a little bit. Oh yeah. Okay, this is the first one I read right now. How can you forgive someone who did something multiple times they knew would hurt you? Again, I think that you can definitely hold forgiveness in your heart for that person, but also maybe we just don't trust them anymore. I don't think that forgiving someone in your heart and being like, you know what, I'm not keeping any records of wrongdoings against you. Like, I fully have released. I love that what I was reading said that it's like more of a

release of that burden of, you know, bitterness and resentment that could be weighing on you, it's more of a release emotionally and being like, hey, I forgive you actually. It's all good. And receiving the peace of God, like receiving peace, it's okay to be like, hey, but I can't do this anymore. You have proven to me that you have no problem hurting me over this thing over and over again, so I have forgiven you. And me doing this is not because I don't. It's just simply me prioritizing my heart, guarding my heart, and saying, I can't be in this relationship anymore. Or you're setting those boundaries where that person can't be so close to your heart. That's healthy. That is healthy. When you think about Jesus and the boundaries that he set with some people,

like his closest friends within the disciples were Peter John and James. Those were like his bros, like his besties. He loved everyone. But like even when it came to go, uh, when he went to the mount and he revealed himself in all of his glory to Peter John and James, he's like glowing, radiating. and it's like, you know, that whole moment and they're like, whoa, oh my gosh. He didn't bring Judas up there. Why didn't he bring Judas up there? Because he knew what Judas was capable of.

He knew, because he's God, he knew what was going to happen. But it's like he knew Judas's heart. He knew what Judas was capable of. And he said, I'm not going to bring Judas around to those like really intimate moments and trusting him in those parts. Does that make sense? Like there were boundaries that Jesus set even within, he loved them all very well, loved them equally.

But we're going to trust these people. with this amount of my heart and then I'm gonna I'm gonna keep this because they've proved into me that they don't really tend to my heart or care about my heart as much as this person does and just like discerning that with the Lord and being like okay God how close am I allowed to keep this person to me if at all anymore based on the facts based on the fruit based on you know these things that just keep happening over and over again yeah to answer that question I do think that forgiveness is possible but it doesn't mean that you need to like keep that person close to you anymore if they have shown you that they can do the same thing to you multiple times and they knew it would hurt you because you probably have had

the discussion with them before. I'm been like hey, I'm just be honest. That hurt me. And then they keep doing it. You can still have forgiveness and love them while keeping them at a distance. And then that kind of rolls into this next question where somebody says, how do you evade your continued forgiveness from being abused? And I feel like that's a lot of what we kind of just said is like I think that that's a way to set those boundaries where you're not allowing this person to just stomp on you all the time for the sake of forgiveness, you know? Like you can forgive them while also still being like, yeah, I'm not going to be around you anymore. I can't allow my heart to be vulnerable to you anymore because you've shown me that I can't trust my heart with you. Doesn't mean I don't still love you. Doesn't mean

I don't still pray for you, but I physically can't let you anywhere near my heart or my life. How do you forgive when they never apologized? Well, what's crazy is the thing that comes to my mind is like, Jesus forgave us of our sins before we ever even knew that we sinned. Jesus forgave you and died on the cross for your sins before you were ever born, before you ever even knew that you were capable of sinning. And so there was no apology. Jesus received no apology from us at that time when he endured that suffering and that sacrifice that he made for us. There was no apology.

I mean, we may apologize now, but there also was a time in my life where I would sin and I just, Jesus was never getting an apology or repentance from me because I just, well, I didn't know. I didn't know. Yeah, so I don't think forgiveness is based on a scale of whether you get an apology or not. And I think that's the thing that can make it really hard sometimes is that we may never receive an apology from that person. And so I think that it's also like at that point, are you willing to carry that burden of bitterness for the rest of your life? Because you may never get that apology ever. It also comes down to like, okay, Lord, do I even want to carry this for the rest of my life if I never get an apology because you're kind of gambling at that point. You're like, okay, if I get an apology from this person eventually, then I'll stop being bitter.

But who's to say that they ever will? You don't actually know that. I hope that they will. I pray that they eventually feel convicted about what they did to you. It may take years, months, hours, weeks. Never. Never is a possibility, though, right? So you're kind of gambling with that. You're gambling with carrying these tens of hundreds of pounds of just emotional oppression of just like, yeah, bitterness and resentment and anger and frustration. And you're carrying that. And you're like, okay, well, you know what? I'm just going to carry it until this person says, I'm sorry.

And they're bound to say I'm sorry, right? Do you even know that? I hope so. But do you even know that? So I don't think that's anything I'm willing to really gamble with. And it's hard. It's challenging because sometimes all you want, all you could need in that. moment is for that person to just say, I am so sorry, like a sincere apology. And you're like,

I'd be good. If I just got a sincere apology from this person, I'd be fine. That's all I need. I think what the Lord has even done for me is like, that's not all you need, though. That should not be the indicator of whether you are able to forgive the person or not, because you are potentially setting yourself up for failure if that person never actually says, I'm sorry. So you go, okay, so then how do I do it? It ties back to what we led with with this episode, is you have to just rely on the strength of the Holy Spirit. That is the only thing that will relieve you from this emotional hurt is God. Not whatever the person can give you, but what God can give you in that moment.

And so it's like the smallest little mind shift, but you're no longer putting the results of the fate of, you know, forgiveness in your heart on a person's actions and putting it on God. The scripture, Matthew 1128 reads, Then Jesus said, come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear and the burden I give you is light. So what you're doing is you're no longer putting like your foundation on people and like what they could give you in that moment and how they're going to react. and being like, okay, well, I need them to just say, I'm sorry. We got to kill that because that's like some type of dependence on people, which honestly, we're disappointing.

You may never get, and I'm sorry, you may never get that. But what Jesus is saying here is he's saying, come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. The I'm sorry won't give you rest that that person can give you. But who can give you rest is Jesus. That's what he's saying. He says, come to me.

All who are weary and carry heavy burdens, take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you because I am humble and gentle at heart and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy to bear and the burden I give you is light. So even in that he's saying, no, no, no, me, me. I will give you the rest that you need. I will give you the satisfaction and the peace for your soul. Not however that person could apologize or maybe may never, it's me. you don't need an apology. You don't need an apology to forgive someone. And I actually think that that that will also speak volumes to the security that you have in Christ, where you're like, I don't even need anyone to say sorry. I just need Jesus to help me with this. Like, I need him to carry my burden because I don't want to rely on people to give me. And you probably will get, and I'm sorry. And then that's just

like a cherry on top of it all because you're like, well, I did receive peace from the Lord anyway, but you know what? I still really appreciate the apology. And you could totally still get one. But first, before all else, has to be go to the Lord for that kind of peace. Somebody says forgiving exes feel like forgiveness equals being friends with them but don't want to. Yeah, forgiveness is not being friends with people anymore. First off, don't be friends with your ex. If this is just, this is Ali chiming in as big sister. What?

Don't do that. Don't do that. We're not going to be friends with our exes. We can forgive them. You can even verbalize it and say, hey, I've forgiven you. I wish you all the best. I'm praying for you. Love you.

But bye. You know, like that's okay, but bye. We're going to move, like, that person served a purpose in your life for a season. We can appreciate that. We can appreciate the lessons that we learned in that relationship. Thank you, Jesus. Thank you that he allows everything for our good, even if it doesn't feel that way in the moment. But it's like there's things to be learned and we move on.

And sometimes people stay in the past. And that's okay. It doesn't mean we're bitter towards them, but they stay in the past. They don't equate. So I'm just here to tell you that. Forgiving doesn't mean stay friends, if that's the case. As long as I forgive that person, am I saved? Do you have to tell that person I forgave you?

Our salvation is not measured by the way that we forgive each other. You were saved the moment you accepted Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior in your life, and you declared Him as Lord in your heart, mind and soul. You are saved by the blood of Jesus. You are saved by the sanctification of Jesus Christ. And so your capability of forgiving others is not the measure of your salvation. So that's a fear that I'm just going to rebuke right now in Jesus' name. Girl, you're saved.

You're saved. Obviously, we are still expected to forgive others. I know that that also maybe could be a little confusing because the Lord's like, hey, if you don't forgive others, I won't forgive you. So like, okay, that's very true. The second half of that question, though, is do I have to tell that person I forgave them? I think that that's something that you could really discern with Jesus about and be like, okay Lord, do I need to verbalize this to them? Or is this just something that like, you know I've forgiven them in my heart?

You know that I have peace with it and I bless them and I pray for them genuinely, wholeheartedly. You're like, is it necessary for me to tell them and verbalize? Sometimes I feel the Lord be like, you need to tell them because it's going to plant seeds for that person. Like if God wants me to speak that forgiveness and truth and love over that person, because he wants to do something with that, with that love that you show that person, like typically, I think it's because God just wants to minister to that person through the love and the grace and the mercy that you show them. But sometimes I don't feel that burden and God's like, this is enough. Like you forgiving them in your heart and praying for them, huge. Praying for that

person is a big deal. That can move mountains in the spirit. Sometimes that is enough and you don't need to reach out to the person or the ex-boyfriend or girlfriend that burned you 10 years ago and be like, hey, it's been a long time, you know, and I haven't been able to forgive you, but I forgive you now. Maybe it's not always necessary. Maybe you could just be like, hey, Jesus, I bless them and I pray for them and I forgive them. I do. But I would say more times than not, it's probably really productive to tell the person that you have forgiven them. But my personal advice with that would to just stay discerning with the Lord of what's appropriate versus not, because also, depending on the situation, I don't know how appropriate it is to be in communication with that person, depending on the gravity

of the situation. Again, I don't know your situation. Sometimes it's not best to even communicate with that person at that time. Yeah, I don't think that it's always necessary. But I'd like to believe that more times than not it is. Because I think the Lord can do a lot with that. Like with you being like, I forgive you and I love you, God can plant so many seeds in that moment. And you have no idea the rippling effect that it could cause in that person's life because of the grace you extended to them. You could be the only person that's ever extended that type of grace and forgiveness to them in their life and it probably will never leave them. Like the way that you loved them in that moment and said, you know what, I forgive you, it could minister to them and never leave their mind

for the rest of their life. So you never know the power of what God would want to do with you simply acting out in obedience. If he is telling you to verbalize that forgiveness to that person, he could do some really beautiful things with that. So that's my feedback on that. Okay, our last quick question. Why do you think it's difficult to receive it? Somebody says, like why do you think it's difficult to receive forgiveness. Oh my gosh, maybe. That might actually be an entirely another episode. Okay. Well, this is, I'll just share this short little revelation that I've received from God. Not specifically about forgiveness, but I think that this could honestly be under the same umbrella. Whenever it's hard for us to receive something, well, I feel like there's two scenarios with this.

It's either, it's hard for you to receive forgiveness from others. And I feel like if you're having a hard time receiving something, it could be forgiveness. It could be anything. If you're having a hard time receiving something from someone or people, it's probably because you haven't allowed yourselves to receive that very thing from God. And so if you're having a hard time receiving forgiveness from others, it's probably because you haven't allowed yourself to receive the forgiveness that God has for you. And that's something that challenges me a lot where like even with just love, like sometimes it's hard for me to receive recognition or love from people. And I'm like, wow, I don't know if I've actually been able to allow the Lord to speak into my identity.

and my life a lot and receive in that way. If you haven't allowed your heart to receive something from the Lord, it's probably hard for you to receive it from people. Which also is interesting because I feel like if you are not capable of really receiving something well, you're probably not good at giving it. Because how can we give something we haven't personally received? And so another POV I could say, and I'm not saying this about you, but maybe it's hard for you to receive forgiveness because you're not forgiving as the way

that the Lord instructs us to forgive. We can't give something we haven't been able to fully receive. So that also would provoke me to ask you a question of like, how easy is it for you to forgive people? And if it's kind of hard, maybe that's the root. It's like, because you haven't been able to really heal in that way to receive forgiveness and be like, I am forgiven by God. You know, I am forgiven by others.

And once you've allowed your heart to open in that, then you can give the very thing that you've finally allowed yourself to receive from the Lord. Oh, we'll end on that note. I'll let that cook in some of y'all's hearts. Yeah, thank you, Jesus. Wow, thank you, God, for showing up in this episode. Lord, I just love you so much. We're going to pray really quick.

I just feel like praying. Jesus, we love you. Lord, thank you for being literally the smartest person we know ever. You are so wise. It goes beyond something we will ever understand. But, God, it is such an honor to learn from you. It is such an honor to know how to just, you just instruct us on how to walk through life

and to become better versions of ourselves and to love others better, which is also loving you better, God. And so I just, I thank you for the way that you take care of us. And I just, I just bless you, God. I bless you and I thank you for this episode. God, I thank you for what you did in the hearts of those who are listening today, Jesus. We honor you. We love you. And we just can't wait to walk out in more forgiveness and love after this episode, Jesus.

We love you. We honor you in your mighty name. Amen. Guys, I love you and I'm so proud of you. God is more proud of you, but I'm super proud of you. And I will see you guys next time. Hey, wait, can we do something cool today? Or at least until the next time we see each other, let's do something cool. Let's show somebody how cool Jesus is. Let's be more forgiving. Let's be more forgiving just as Jesus forgives us. I love y'all. I'm proud of you. I will see you next time. Bye.