Christ With Coffee On Ice - literally everyone is pregnant and married

Episode Date: January 24, 2025

Hey y'all ! Welcome to another Friday with CWCOI ! In this week's episode, our host, Ally Yost has an honest and real conversation. If you are single and are feeling the weight of everyone around you getting engaged, married, and pregnant, then this episode is for you. It's encouraging and packed with scripture on how Jesus has a plan for your life far greater than you could ever imagine. "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight." Proverbs 3:5-6 _____________________________________________  ☆ JESUS FREAKS | OFFICIAL TRAILER ☆ : https://youtu.be/DbbJHm0WfJg?si=ErjC8Z9_TmC5VLar ☆ SUBSCRIBE TO OUR PATREON ☆ : https://patreon.com/CWCOI  If you would like to give to CWCOI and financially support the podcast, you can do so here ! ➤ https://www.paypal.me/CWCOI CWCOI MERCH ➤ https://allyyost.com _____________________________________________  Connect further with us ! TikTok ➤ https://www.tiktok.com/@christwithcoffeeonice  Instagram ➤ https://instagram.com/christwithcoffeeonice _____________________________________________  Connect further with Ally !  TikTok (2M) ➤ https://www.tiktok.com/@ally_yost  Instagram ➤ https://www.instagram.com/ally_yost/  ShopMy ➤ https://shopmy.us/allyyost Pinterest ➤ https://www.pinterest.com/ally_yost1/_created/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with coffee on ice. I am your host, Ali Yost. And I am thrilled to be here with you guys. If you are physically watching, you are seeing again that our environment is a bit different. I've never brought you guys here before, but this is my bedroom. I just felt like it. I felt like it. Well, actually, there were some obstacles with being able to record in the studio today. And so last week, you guys saw everything that was happening, all the chaos with the fires. and we had to literally do last week's episode in a hotel room. But, you know, you can't stop us. I'm still going to be showing up for my girls. And we're just not stopping.

We're not stopping. We're not letting the enemy stop us. And so this week it's kind of like that again. There were some obstacles with being able to record in the studio. And so we are just, we're recording here. And I just wanted to be cozy. I didn't feel like doing all the lights, camera action. You know, with our normal setup, when I do record here at the house,

I just I really wanted it to be just intimate and simple. That is the gospel. Intimate and simple. That's Jesus. And so that's what we're doing. We're kind of representing that by just keeping it simple and intimate and just, ugh, just simple. We do have our coffee on ice. Kind of looks like chocolate milk.

I put a lot of creamer in it. Oops. But we do have our coffee. But before all else, we do have our Christ. We have our Bible here. We will be using this in the upper. because I always want to tie it back to scripture and the truth and the word. But guys, can we just have like a girl hang? Sorry for our male listeners. I do believe that this is going to be relatable to men,

but unfortunately I am a woman. And so I think like a woman. I talk like a woman. And I just, I know a lot of you are gals. So I'm going to talk to my gals. But men, you are welcome. You are welcome here. That is not me kicking you out. I just don't want you to be offended if I'm saying. girl because girl can we just be girls right now I need to be a girl I need to hang out with my girls I need to have an honest girl talk and the honest girl talk of the day right now is like I just want to confront the elephant in the room because I know we all see it it's giant it's standing over there in the corner and some people have acknowledged it but then also I feel like sometimes there's shame with also acknowledging it because you're like oh everyone else is but I'm gonna just

say it. Okay, the elephant in the room is that everyone is getting pregnant. Everyone is getting engaged and everyone is married. Okay? I'm just going to say it. That's the elephant in the room. I feel like I have officially hidden age. I'm 29, almost 30 years old, where everyone I know is literally having babies married or engaged. And that is all beautiful. Wait, no, I'm so excited for everyone and I mean that. I'm so excited for everybody. I love babies. I love babies. I love love. I love marriage. I love covenant. I love engagement. Like I love. And so I am not complaining and I am not upset that it's happening. I pray there's more. I pray there's more. We need more love. We need more marriages. We need more successful marriages. And we need more babies. We need more babies because

what a gift from God. So it's all good. It's all good. But it's an elephant, okay? And it's an elephant, especially for us girls who are single. Now, of course, I am coming from a POV of a single girlie, but I also want to be sensitive to people who may be married and are still waiting to get pregnant, because that is one thing we're going to be talking about in this episode is babies and, you know, being able to move on to those next steps in your life. And so I do recognize that there are people who may not be single that are actually married, but are still waiting for this thing, right? So I want to be sensitive to that.

But my POV in this episode is going to be from a single girlie because that's what I am. And so, yeah, let's just talk about it. Okay, let's talk about it. The other thing that I struggle with y'all is like, I don't know if anyone else feels this way, but this is how I feel, is that the minute that I start to talk about this is the minute that I'm like that cliche Christian girl that like is waiting for her Boaz and is like waiting for her waiting season to be over. And like she just wants her husband. Like I don't know anyone who talks like that actually. I don't know where that came from. But do you know what I'm saying? Like the minute that I

verbalize that out loud is the minute that I am like afraid that that's exactly who I am is like that cliche Christian girl who's like, I'm single. But with that comes suppression of my actual feelings of what I'm feeling because that is true. I am a single girl who does desire to be married, who does want to be a mommy, and wants to have that in her future. Sue me. Literally sue me. Yep.

I am that girl. I am that Christian girl who's like discouraged from time to time because I don't have those things. And that's just me being honest. that's just me being honest and i think a lot of times because it's like such a hot topic or like a common topic for christian culture even within women it's like a thing that's talked about and at the top of all of our lists it's like gotten to the point where it's so cliche that the minute we actually are still feeling that at least i don't know in my realm i feel like it's gotten so

cliche that the minute i start feeling it i like gaslight myself and i'm like you sounds like everyone else, Allie, stop. Like, do you even have faith in God at all? And I do feel a temptation of just a spirit of religion, you know, around that, that the minute that I start to feel those things where, you know, those waves of emotion hit me. And I'm like, wow, wait, I'm like really single right now. And I'm almost 30 years old. And not that there's anything wrong with that, I recognize that there are women even older

than me that are still, you know, in this season. But it's just like when you thought you'd be somewhere and you're not and you'll be content for a long time and then it just kind of smacks you in the face out of nowhere where you were like, wait a minute, I was literally thriving. Why do I feel like this all of a sudden? But it does. That wave of like that those feelings, that emotion hits you. And you're like, the reality of it, you're like, wait, whoa, I really am like so single. And there's nothing happening in this like area of my life. There is that spirit of religion that like creeps up though and wants to make you feel as if because you're feeling these things, it means that you don't trust God. Like you start to say things to yourself, well, I shouldn't feel this because that means I wouldn't, I wouldn't trust God.

And I shouldn't be feeling this way because then that means I'm not content with Christ and Christ alone. And you know, if I'm feeling these things right now, it probably is because I don't have enough faith and I need to get my face in the word. And I need to do this. And it's like this spirit of religion that's like, well, you don't love God enough if you feel these things. right now. You don't trust him enough if you're feeling sad about this. Don't feel sad about that. Oh, you're sad about it? Oh, you're sad about it? Okay, well, that means that you don't trust your Heavenly Father, so stop being sad. I'm sorry, when did I sign up for that? And also, when did me feeling sad in a moment, by the way, about these things mean that I suddenly don't have faith?

It suddenly means that I don't trust my father. You know? Another thought. that crosses my mind in moments like this is that God is so disappointed in me in that moment. Like there's that feeling and those thoughts that come into your brain where you're like, oh, wow, the Lord is probably really disappointed in me in the way that I'm feeling sad about this because he probably thinks that I don't trust him either, you know? And it's also that temptation of being like, God isn't going to trust me with this thing anymore because I'm not content with him and him alone. And it also can trickle into that feeling of you have,

have to earn blessings from the Lord. Oh my gosh. I feel like that's a whole another rabbit hole. But sometimes I feel my brain and it could just, it really is just dumb thoughts that are from the enemy, that he just wants to fill your mind with all this garbage. But one of the garbage that he will try to plant in my mind is that the minute I start to feel these things is the minute that then God is like, oh, I can't trust you with this anymore. And now I have to earn my way back to God trusting me with that so I can get back on track to receiving that blessing one day. And that's sick twisted and backwards because God does not give us blessings as if it's a contract between us where we have to earn our blessings. Granted, God's timing is perfect. And

there are a lot of times where he won't give us something until we're ready or, until he sees, you know, certain things in our life or within our hearts or minds, souls. Like he waits until we're developed. Probably. I'd imagine actually, yes, where he's like, okay, she's ready for this. But it's not like an earning basis. You know what I'm saying? Like, oh my gosh, why did this just come to my brain?

So I was not always the best at school. Guys, I wasn't. I mean, I barely passed class. And I don't think it was because I wasn't intelligent. I do believe that the Lord has created me with a, a pretty bright brain. My brain is quite bright. Sometimes, most times. I'm smart. I'm smart. I just didn't want to. I didn't want to. I didn't care. I couldn't stay focused. I'd rather focus on other things like tomagachis and boys. So I, no, I wasn't good at school. And so I was a,

I was like a C's and D's type of gal. All right. That was me. And so my parents signed me up for something called Sylvan Training Center. Did anyone go to Sylvan? It was like a tutoring. I think it's literally still around. It looks ancient. Sometimes I will go by, I will be like driving by and it'll be in like some little shopping center and I'm like, you're still here, Sylvan. You're literally still in the room. She's still here. But I went to that and a lot of the way that they would try to motivate us to do well was earning like tokens. So whenever we would do well or like pass a test or whatever, girl, I don't know, I barely remember it.

But you would get these tokens. And I do remember that part. And if you could get enough tokens, there were all of these prizes that you could get with those tokens. One of them being a lava lamp, which I earned, but they never sent to me. So that is something I will literally never forget for the rest of my life. I earned enough tokens. And that was a lot of tokens for a lava lamp.

Okay. It wasn't like a little stuffed bunny. A lava lamp was a lot of tokens. And I earned all of them. Okay? I earned all of them. So this is what I mean when I said she had brains, just when she wanted to use them. So the only way that you could earn that lava lamp was through my hard works of receiving these tokens.

A lot of what the Bible says and refers to is our good works. And that is true as a Christian. We have to have good works, you know? But it's not out of a place of earning God's love and earning God's blessings, you know? I do think that through our faithfulness and our obedience, we do earn his trust, where he's like, okay, I really trust her. Nah, she's a solid one. She means it, you know?

I do think that that's something we do earn from God. But earning his love, which translates to his blessings, the way that he is a giver and a provider, that just comes from his love. That doesn't come from any transaction. Because the thing is, is Jesus already paid the bill. He already paid for that transaction. And God loved us first. Before all else, God loved us first. So there's nothing that we can do to earn his love. There's nothing that can separate us from his love. It's already there. And so that is what the enemy wants us to forget in moments like this, where if we do kind of fall to our feelings, which by the way, he created, can we talk about that for a second? I'm not validating us spiraling in our feelings

and trusting our feelings because we are not supposed to trust our feelings, but we are allowed to feel them. You know, it goes back to that story, which we've talked a lot about and in the church we talk a lot about. But when Jesus raised Lazarus back from the dead, Lazarus had been dead for three days. And his sisters, Mary, and I forgot her other name, but Mary was the one that was weeping. And Jesus came and he comforted her and he validated her and literally cried with her. Like he didn't make her feel shameful. He didn't say, girl, how could you not have any faith in me right now? Wipe your tears. Stop crying. Get up. I'm literally about to raise him from the dead. Who do you think I am. I am literally savior of the world. Stop it right now. Get off your feet. You know what I mean?

Jesus didn't do that. Jesus sat with her and wept with her even though he knew that her brother was going to be raised from the dead again, that he was literally going to do that. He knew that. I think the reason why Jesus wept with her was because he wanted to show her and then all of us who then get to read about this story forever that it is okay to have feelings. It's okay to cry. It's okay to feel hopeless at times. It's okay to feel like there is no way out. It is okay to feel.

It is okay to feel. And it's okay to be human in that way because that is a way that God created us. If he didn't want us to feel any of those things, he wouldn't have even created it. He wouldn't have allowed it. And so there's a difference between allowing ourselves to feel, but then trusting our feelings. There are times where I've been like, Lord, I know I'm not supposed to lean on my own understanding right now and I'm not gonna.

I'm not going to trust these feelings, but I feel them literally bursting out of me and I need to feel it. And I will feel how Jesus will just sit with me and he will be so patient with me. And he'll be like, okay, honey, you can feel like, yes, get it out actually. And he wants to hear your honesty in those moments when you are feeling these things. Don't bring Jesus the version that you know you should be being right now. You know, the version of you that should be so filled with hope and faith and the one that says, ah, but God has a plan for my life and it's going to be okay. And everyone else around me is getting the thing that I also desire and I'm very happy for them.

But you know what? I trust God. It's going to be okay. I'm fine. Okay, you sound manic. You literally sound manic and that's not even the truth. So why don't we just be honest with God and say, I don't want to be envious. I don't want to be comparing myself to anyone, and I'm really trying not to, but like, it's hard when everyone else around me is getting it.

And I'm sitting here so, so single. God, I'm just going to be honest. I love you. And I know you have a plan for my life and I trust you. But I literally want to curl up in a ball and cry about it. And maybe that's okay. Maybe that's okay to do. Emotions are not to be avoided.

They are real. And God did make them for a reason. suppressing our emotions and feelings isn't the answer. We should feel them, but not let them consume us. And this is where I wanted to give you guys an example of what it's like to just feel our feelings, to accept them, feel them, like get through it with the Lord, you know, just kind of get through that moment versus a consumption of emotions and what that looks like. The best way that I can at least describe feeling your feelings is kind of what I just said,

where you're sitting with the Lord and you're being honest about your feelings and you're allowing yourself to feel them you're not suppressing them you're not avoiding them you're not gaslighting yourself you're literally being so ugly honest with God and you're like this is how I'm feeling and I don't like it but I can't deny it and it's here it's real it's happening it's here it's in me and like give it to him like treat Jesus as if he's your best friend the same way that you would talk to your therapist the same way that you would talk to your mom, the same way that you would talk to your best friend or your spouse, the person that you entrust the most is the way you need to just bring it to Jesus. You don't need to be formal.

You don't need to be like thou art in control of my life. I trust thee. Be honest with him because he knows what's within your heart and your mind, you know? We've said that on the podcast before and it's true. So no matter how much you want to show up for him in that moment, he knows the truth anyway. So be honest with him. He is your friend. He is your friend.

He should actually be your best friend. and he's not afraid of your emotions because again he created them and he knew that this moment was going to happen before you even lived it out and so that's the thing we need to remember too is that none of it is a surprise to Jesus it's not a surprise to him at all he knew that this was going to happen as you woke up that morning like he knew what was about to happen and so also remembering that there is not an ounce of emotion that's too much for him there isn't too much emotion there isn't too much feelings for Jesus. He can handle it. He can handle it. Now, a consumption of feelings or emotions to me would look a bit like we are spiraling and our actions are now reflecting how we're

feeling. Like if you feel really discouraged by something and you decide to sit in your bed about it for days or you decide to act in a way where you don't have any faith or hope anymore for long periods of time, that is giving consumption of feelings. If you are now walking in a way that is reflecting your feelings, I feel like we can feel things, but not like act in them. Does that make sense? There are times where I've had to even sit and just do the least for a day with Jesus. because of what I was feeling and going through.

And there's grace for that. But if we are sitting in it for long periods of time and we're just, yeah, like, I don't know how else to say it other than like our actions are literally reflecting our feelings. We're like if you're feeling hopeless and now you're acting hopeless forever, it's giving we're now letting this consume us. Or if everything that's coming out of your mouth is like those emotions, you know, if it's just negative and you're like, you know what, there is no hope for me.

There is no hope for my future. I don't know if God's ever going to give me a husband. I don't think there's anyone out there for me. I've been waiting so long, and I think God is literally forgotten about me. I don't think he's listening to me. I don't think he cares. Like if that's the only thing that's now coming out of your mouth, honey, we've let the feelings consume us, and we got to abort.

We got a dip. Okay, we need to evacuate because you are in a danger zone. Nothing about that is productive. But it is okay to feel it. It is okay to even say those things to God in a moment. You know, there are times where I've been like, God, do you even hear me? Like, do you even hear me? I need to know that you hear me right now.

And I don't think there's anything wrong with asking God for that too. That if in moments you're starting to feel like you don't know if he's even hearing your voice or your prayers, it's okay to tell him that and say, God, I don't even know if you hear me. And I actually really need you to show up for me right now and show me otherwise. I need you to prove me wrong because I know my feelings are wrong. I know that's probably not the truth. I know you probably are listening to me, but I really need your peace right now.

I need your presence. I need your Holy Spirit. And I need to know that you hear me. I think another productive thing that we can be doing in moments like this where reality is just hitting us in the face, okay? It's there. It's real.

Our feelings are real. But knowing the truth versus your feelings. And I think something that we can practice in these moments is what are my feelings saying right now? Just write it out. It could be so ugly and dumb and say, silly, but just write it all out and say, this is what my feelings are saying. Okay. Versus knowing the truth. What does the truth of God say? What does the word of God say? What does God say? Period.

Sometimes even in those moments, I will ask God and I'll say, Lord, I need you to speak truth to me. I need you to speak into my life. What do you say about my life? What do you say about these desires of my heart? God, what do you say about these things that I want in my life? Do you say that I put them there first? Does God say those desires are in your heart because I literally planted them in there first before you were ever born? Does God say that he cares so much to address the fields with lilies? Like, what more would he care for you?

He cares so much about you. So I'm going to read some pieces of scripture. Just some truths that we can be telling ourselves. when we are in moments like this. I want to start with simply that God has a plan for your life. So all of the feelings and emotions that you've listed versus the truth. Well, the truth is that God does have a plan for your life. Proverbs 3, 5 through 6 says,

trust in the Lord with all of your heart. And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Romans 12 says, do not comfort to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is, His good, pleasing, and perfect will. Matthew 11, 28 through 30, and this is something that came straight out of Jesus's mouth,

come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls for my yoke is easy and my burden is light Psalm 23 1 through 6 a Psalm of David the Lord is my shepherd I shall not want he makes me lie down in green pastures he leads me beside still waters he restores my soul He leads me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For you are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies. You anoint my head with oil. My cup overflows. So we talked about making a list of our feelings versus the truth. I think that's one thing that we can do to move on from these moments of sadness. Because ultimately, the goal here is one, to acknowledge the truth of the matter, the elephant in the room. Okay. This is the thing that's happening.

This is the thing that's kind of triggering me. It makes me sad at times. That's the truth. The second thing is just acknowledging the reality of our emotions and feelings and saying, okay, this is just it is what it is. No matter how much I don't want to be feeling this way, no matter how much I want to be fully trusting God right now, I feel discouraged. And that's just the truth. So acknowledging our emotions and allowing ourselves to feel it. Now we're moving on to being able to just move on from these moments of sadness because we don't

want to sit in them. We don't want to sulk in them and we don't want to believe them. We're not going to believe our feelings and we're not going to let ourselves be consumed in them like we were saying, right? So list really good. We did the list of feelings versus truth. I think ultimately in these moments, what is necessary is a mind shift. So perspective change, a shift of our mind right now. And I think one of them could be even seeing this moment as an opportunity to have deeper trust in God than you did even before this moment a few minutes ago. And I think one way of getting ourselves out of that funk is remembering, remembering the reality of all of it. So if something that's triggering you is social media, first and foremost, that's the thing for me. I'm seeing people that I went to high school with.

I'm seeing people that I used to be friends with. You know, as I've jumped around from state to state, I'm seeing friends that I made seven years ago when I first moved to North Carolina. And like all of them are married and have babies, right? So I'm seeing all this on social media. And that's the thing that triggers me. It could be people in your personal life, though, too. It could be like, you know, your closest friends or like a sister-in-law or just people everywhere around you in your personal life that these things are happening for them. So it doesn't always have to be social media.

But for me, it is. And so I think one thing that we do need to remember about the reality of social media is that we can't compare ourselves to someone's story that's filtered and is mainly showing all the highlights of their life. That's just the truth. To compare ourselves to a version of someone's life where maybe only 10, 15, 20% at most of their life is being shown on social media, that's just not really a fair game. It's not. You're comparing yourself to a version of their life that they are only willing to show. There are parts of their life that they decided not to bring to social media. And I'm not saying that this is something that I would ever wish on someone's relationship or their life or their family.

But how do you know that they're as happy as they seem online? How do you know that? I hope they are. I hope that they are. But how do you actually know that? Who is to say that that is all truth? I feel like if we can't confidently say that we have seen every part of this person's life, like every part of this person's life, if you can't confidently say that,

and you can't confidently say that you've seen every part of their relationship that they're sharing online, then it's not something to compare yourself to because you don't even know the whole story. So you don't even actually know what you're comparing yourself to. And again, I'm not saying that everyone online is a liar about their marriage. You know, I know that there are people who are extremely vulnerable about their lives and, but also, y'all, but also. There's a lot of things that you haven't seen, even of my life. Like, there's a lot of things that you guys have not seen.

And so it does not mean that that's actually what their life looks like 24-7. Another thing worth mentioning that I know we've kind of already touched on in this episode is that God does love you and he does have a plan and he cares. I know that this can be sometimes hard to believe, but he actually cares more than you do. I know he does. I know he does. Believing that he is the same God who loves you just as much as he loves these people that you're watching all around you, settle down.

And if this concept is something that you've had a hard time believing, that normally means that you haven't seek to the Lord's heart enough lately. And I can say that from experience. Anytime I feel God doesn't love me enough or I feel unlovable, it's normally because I haven't let the Lord love me or I haven't allowed myself to receive his love. So if this is a hard concept for you to be like, I don't know if God loves me as much as that person. Like I don't feel like he loves me is probably because you haven't allowed yourself to receive his love. Like you haven't really sat down and let him love you. And I think the best way to do this is through reading his word and letting

him speak to you. Like the best way to know God's heart is to read this giant love letter that he's given us. is a love letter from our dad. And I think the best way that I've even been able to know God's heart is through his word and believing that it's true and that it's a promise to us. That he didn't just like write this for everyone else or he didn't just feel like blessing the people in this book. You know, when we see redemption and we see the way that prayers are answered in this book, it wasn't just for them.

It was also for you too. And he knew that before the beginning of time. knew that. It was something that was going to encourage you. Asking him what he thinks of you and what he wants to encourage you in and being still enough to let him speak on those things. So that's something else that's helped me is like literally just asking God, okay, God, what do you think of me? How much do you love me? What do you want for my future? You know, and just like letting him speak to you and encourage you. If we don't feel like God loves us enough, it's because we haven't let him love us enough. We haven't been received.

receiving his love. Like that's just simply what it is. Now in these moments, it probably, maybe in most cases, you just got to feel it. You just got to feel it. You just got to be a little bit of an emo girl with the Lord and just be honest with him and just kind of like let it out, let him comfort you, remind you of the truth, and then move on, you know, and we're not going to shake hands with those feelings and believe them. Move on. I would imagine that actually most cases it's probably like that. But if this is a reoccurring thing, meaning if this is something that is coming up for you often, there might be something in your heart that's not good. And I can't sit here and diagnose you. I don't know what it could be. It could be that it's an idol in your life. Maybe

there's a bit of envy or jealousy. Maybe there is a lack of faith. Maybe there is a bit of dependency on these things and less on God. I don't know what it could be. And that's what God is for. That's what the Holy Spirit is for is that he can actually reveal to you exactly what it is if this is something that's like bubbling up a lot. But I think in these moments it's always, always productive and good to ask the Lord to check your heart, to check your heart and say, God, if there's any wickedness in my heart, if there's anything that is impure, if there's anything that is not from the spirit of God. It's not, you know, the fruits of the spirit. I need you to reveal that to me. And there's no shame in that. Like, I've had to ask the Lord to check my heart plenty of times.

because sometimes these things kind of creep up on you. And we don't want to admit that we're like envious or jealous or bitter. But then sometimes it creeps up and all of a sudden it's like, it's bubbling in your heart and you're like, ew, where did that even come from? And obviously it's not something that we're proud of, but it's nothing to be ashamed of. And it's okay to bring to God and to ask him to reveal it to you and to like get that gunk out, right? It's worse to be in denial and say, oh, no, no, no, no, no, I'm not. I'm not that. No, it's not an idol in my life. there's no way. I think just being honest with ourselves and with God is like the most productive thing

we could do and ask him to check our hearts. Humility. Humility. Practicing our humility in that and be like, hey God, I am not perfect. That's actually why your son needed to die on the cross for me because I'm so imperfect and flawed. And I'm just going to be so humble right now and say if there's anything in my heart that needs to be out, that you reveal that to me. And I can repent for it and come out of agreement with it and say, I'm not doing that anymore. Period blank. You know what I mean? So of course we want to be honest with the Lord and bring all of our worries and fears to him, but I don't think it's productive to make sure there isn't any wickedness in our hearts. It's always productive to make sure that there's nothing there.

So another thing that we can do that is productive to get ourselves out of this rut with the Lord, of course, is remembering all that God has already done for us and potential blessings we're already actively living in. Wow, that sounds so cliche too, but it's true. And I'm sharing these things with you guys because it's worked for me. And so counting our blessings is a very real thing. I think a heart of gratitude and just worship to the Lord, like praising him and being grateful is one of the quickest ways to get yourself out of a mental rut. It really is, even if you have to force yourself to get there,

and it might sound cliche and like, duh, but y'all would be shocked at how many times that I've had to do this. I've had to do this where I've had to say, I am actively living in this blessing right now though. Okay, but God did deliver this. And I am so grateful for this. And I do have this. It's actually scary how quick we can do this, y'all. But most times after we've received a blessing, it's like so easy for us to move on to the next thing that we're lacking after receiving that blessing. That's scary and icky and gross. But it's true. Like we will be like waiting for something for so long and we'll be so patient for something for so long. We'll

receive it and then we're already moving on to the next thing that we're lacking. Like we're so quick to then focus on the next thing that we don't have, rather than just being present and thankful for the very blessing we're living in right now. And so after you're making your list of feelings versus truth and asking the Lord to check our hearts, remembering that God has a plan for our lives, remembering the truth of social media and comparison, now we're remembering all of the blessings that we are actively living in, and that is something you should also write down. List all of the things that you once prayed for. I want you to actually list three answered prayers that you're actively

living in right now. That way, we are actually bringing our focus away from lack and towards the gains that we've already received from God. It is a perspective change. Like the more that we're focused on the things we don't have, the more negative our mind goes. But if we focus on the things that we've already received, the things that we once longed for and now we have, it's just giving more hope, you know? Another thing that I think would be so productive as you're sitting down and writing these things down is also writing down all the pros to the season of your life. Now, this doesn't have to be insensitive to your feelings or what you're going through, but there's always fruit to the season that you're in right now. There's always fruit. So I also want you guys to list three

things that you wouldn't be able to do right now if it wasn't for being in this season, because that's something we need to remember is that there is a reason for every season God has us through. This is all sounding so cliche and oversaid. There's a reason for this season, but there is a reason for this season. And there is good in this season. There are probably things that you wouldn't be able to do if it wasn't for you being where you are right now. So as you're making this list, I challenge you to add three more things that you could do right now or are actively doing that you probably wouldn't be able to do if you weren't in this season. For me, me not being married and having children, I don't know how much I'd be able to focus on this. Like being able to do these things with y'all.

I don't know how much I could have been able to freely just start recording Jesus freaks with Ashley. I don't know how much I could have just picked up and moved to California if I had a whole family, you know? So there are things that I've been able to do and act out in obedience, like radical, not impulsive, but just kind of like, I've been able to make quick decisions in faith because of my singleness. And so I've been able to take time and reflect and say, you know what, but if I wasn't single, I probably wouldn't have been able to have that experience. Or if I wasn't single, I probably wouldn't have been able to do that. Or if I wasn't single, I probably wouldn't be able to do this thing right now, you know? And so, of course, I don't want that to be insensitive to people who could be, you know, potentially even trying to have children. and they are married and they're like, I don't see how this could be a good season at all.

Like, I literally just want to have a family already. But there has to be something good out of it. There has to be. So now the results of doing all of these things, hopefully these are the results. Results number one is we have a lot more peace now, right? We've allowed the Spirit of God to minister to us, to remind us of the truth, remind us of the very things that he's already given us. And we're not letting our feelings consume us.

So hopefully by now we're feeling a lot better. But another result is being content with Jesus and Jesus alone. That is, that's like the ultimate thing here. Once we let Jesus bring us back to earth, after our little emo moment or potential spiraling, we realize that it's literally not that deep. Sometimes in these moments, it's like giving fight or flight, when it's like, it's not that deep. It goes back to that scripture.

It's Matthew 633, which reads, but seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Another translation says, and all of these things will be given to you. Seek first the kingdom of God and how we can become righteous and God's righteousness, right?

So first, seeking the kingdom of God above all else, which means just seeking God before we do anything in our day. And two, acting as much like Jesus as we can, seeking His righteousness, and all things will be given to you. Because the other thing is God knows the very desires of your heart. He does.

And so that's when we can really realize that it ain't that deep. We just got to keep going. We just got to keep walking the walk. Talking to talk, walk in the walk. We just got to keep being a daughter. And it will come. The truth of the matter is that if we are focusing on what other people are doing, so we're looking over here at this person getting pregnant,

we're looking over here at this person receiving this job, we're looking over here at this person getting engaged, this person's getting married. Notice how it's like everywhere else. We're looking over there at what they're doing, and we see what they're doing over there when Jesus is right here. And so the minute that we're doing that, we also need to realize that we are no longer locking eyes with Jesus.

We're not looking at him. You're not looking at Jesus anymore. You're looking at what everyone else is doing. It reminds me of the scripture of Peter and the boat. And Jesus walking on water and telling Peter to come out and meet him on the water and encouraging him and saying you can actually walk on this water right now. Peter was so doubtful and scared. He walks out on the water and he is walking on water because he's looking at Jesus and he's like in disbelief but then it was also stormy and so there are waves and all of this chaos that was going

around and so he looked over and he saw the waves over here and he saw the lightning and the storm over here and he's looking everywhere else and then he starts to sink. Isn't it interesting that he doesn't start to sink until he looks away from Jesus and he stops locking eyes with him. And I really believe that that's also like what we do when we start focusing on what everyone else is doing with their lives. You're looking left and right and now you're sinking and you're wondering why you're having this sinking feeling. And it's because you're not looking at Jesus where there's peace. When we're looking at him and we're locking eyes with the Lord, we have peace. We're content. We're walking on water, girl. There ain't no reason to look anywhere else.

But what I think is so incredible to remember, which I'm going to say this again, is that God has grace for the times that you look left and right, though. So it kind of loops back to what we were saying in the beginning where there's like that religious guilt of being like, I shouldn't even want to turn left and right. I shouldn't want to look over here. I shouldn't want to see what this person's doing over here. And, you know, then you're like spiraling into this like, I'm a bad Christian mentality. That's just lies, you know?

So remembering too that Jesus has grace for us when we do get tempted and we look left and right and we start sinking. Because then what did Jesus do for Peter in that moment? He didn't say, ah, I told you to just look at me. I told you not to look left or right. See you later, Peter. No, he reached down for Peter and he grabbed him and he helped him up, you know? And so that's Jesus's grace for us. It's like he's never going to be angry with us, you know?

He's going to teach us and help us to maybe have more faith the next time. but he has enough grace for all of us where he's not going to let you sink. Just as he did for Peter in that moment, Jesus will always allow room for our emotions. And there's no shame in that part. Now, before we close out this episode, because I know that I just threw a lot at you guys, there's probably a lot to digest, but there are a couple pieces of scripture that I did find that I thought related to this entire topic that I think could really encourage you guys. So I found the scripture in Galatians about comparison, right?

each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone. Without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load. Proverbs 1430 reads, A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Ooh.

James 314 reads, But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. Proverbs 274 reads, wrath is cruel, anger is overwhelming, but who can stand before jealousy? 1 Corinthians 13, 4, love is patient and kind. Love does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant. I threw that piece of scripture in this too because I thought it was a really beautiful example

of how we are actually supposed to love others. And believe it or not, when we are envious towards one another, that's not loving each well. That love is patient and kind. It does not envy or boast. It is not arrogant. Isn't that crazy? So the minute that we're like envious and jealous of someone, you think it's like mostly like harmful to you, but it's also just not loving that person well. So it's actually harmful for everybody involved. I also found a couple pieces of scripture about just focusing on the present. And so this kind of goes back to us recognizing the active blessings that we are living in now that we were once praying for. Matthew 624 says, so don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries.

Today's trouble is enough for today. Psalm 11824 reads, this is the day that the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. These were a couple pieces of scripture that I found about relying on our own feelings and to not do that. Proverbs 3-5 reads, trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. 2 Corinthians 5-7 reads, for we walk by faith, not by sight. So there is also some biblical truth and scripture to back up all of the things that we talked about today.

But ultimately what I am saying is it is okay to feel these things and it is okay to feel sad at times as long as we are not being consumed by those feelings and as long as we are continuing to lean on the Lord and not our own understanding and that there is no shame there's no shame to feel these things so just know that you are so seen heard and loved by the Lord and that you are not alone in this if there is something that you are waiting for that you are just seeing everyone else receiving singleness was just an example today it could be anything that you are not alone in that and God sees you. He does and he cares. He cares a lot. So I love you guys. Happy Friday, by the way. I never said that. But happy Friday. Hey guys, can we do something cool today actually?

Can we show somebody how cool Jesus is? Can we walk more like him, talk more like him, be more like him? And we're just going to believe the word of God more like Jesus did. Like we're just going to do what Jesus did. We're going to practice his truth. we're going to believe what he tells us is that he has a plan for our lives, plans to give us hope and a future. I've talked to y'all's ears off long enough. I love y'all. Happy Friday, and I will see you next week. Bye. Are some of y'all still listening? Okay, if you're still here, that means you're a real one, which is why I'm about to share this with you. If you've already caught up on all the episodes so far, and you don't want to wait until next Friday for a new one, I have really good news for you.

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