Christ With Coffee On Ice - testimony with Lola Sheen

Episode Date: August 15, 2025

Hey y'all ! Welcome to another Friday with CWCOI ! In this week's episode, our host, Ally Yost is joined by special guest and friend, Lola Sheen. Lola shares her testimony and talks about how Ally and her got connected. Praise Jesus for her story and all that He is continuing to do in her life! "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" 2 Corinthians 5:17 ☆ REP CWCOI MERCH ➤ https://allyyost.com ☆ MY BIBLE (code 'ALLYYOST' at checkout) ➤ https://hosannarevival.com/collections/beautiful-bibles/products/nlt-notetaking-bible-versailles-theme  ☆ TUMBLER LINK ➤ https://allyyost.com/products/travel-tumbler ☆ JESUS FREAKS | OFFICIAL TRAILER ➤ https://youtu.be/DbbJHm0WfJg?si=ErjC8Z9_TmC5VLar ☆ EARLY ACCESS TO EPISODES AND BONUS PERKS ➤ https://patreon.com/CWCOI  ☆ GIVE TO CWCOI ➤ https://www.paypal.me/CWCOI _____________________________________________  Connect further with us ! TikTok ➤ https://www.tiktok.com/@christwithcoffeeonice  Instagram ➤ https://instagram.com/christwithcoffeeonice _____________________________________________  Connect further with Ally !  TikTok (2M) ➤ https://www.tiktok.com/@ally_yost  Instagram ➤ https://www.instagram.com/ally_yost/  ShopMy ➤ https://shopmy.us/allyyost Pinterest ➤ https://www.pinterest.com/ally_yost1/_created/ Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with Coffee on Ice. I am your host, Ali Yost. It is a joy and honor to be here today. And guys, today is actually a very exciting day. It's an exciting day. We know that these days actually don't come very often. Typically, it's just me on the podcast. We don't really always have a lot of guests. Today is just a special day, and we're going to know as we get into this, like, this is very significant and this is such a cool day. We have Sweet Lola Sheen on the podcast today. Hi, everyone. I love you, Ellie.

I love you, Lola. You guys, Lola is, I know, we're holding our coffees. We have, we have our coffee on ice. So cute. Cheers. Take a little sip. I got you what I got, because that's what you said. You said, oh, so good.

I've always wanted to drink out of one of these. I forgot what I got. Some type of cinnamon something. Do you like it? Sugar. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I got. It's really good. So good.

Lola is so funny. She'll be like, I don't know, whatever you, like, whatever you get, whatever you want. And so I'm like, I don't even know if you're going to like whatever. I like it, but okay. I trust it. Okay, good. I'm glad you like it. Me too.

Lola, hi. Hi, Ali. Thank you for having me. Oh my gosh. It's a joy. I'm so excited. I am too. I think the coolest thing that we could talk about is obviously your testimony of how

you came to the Lord. Yeah. Yeah. So I guess my first question for you would be, what was your life like before knowing Jesus? Yeah. What I really want to ask is like, who did you think Jesus was before you met him? Okay. Did you believe in him? Had you encountered him before? Or were you just like, I didn't really have a

relationship with God? What was it like before you encountered him? So I grew up Catholic and I went to this Catholic school, but I never, like I would go to church sometimes, but I never knew why I was going. We would go to church on Christmas and Easter, but it was never, like, I never knew the Holy Spirit. I never knew Jesus, you know? It was always God. Like I never knew of Jesus. Wow. Yeah. And I never felt the presence of the Lord before. When I would go to church, I never really knew why I was going, you know? Yeah. And the Bible seemed like, I don't know, it never seemed like actually like it was the Word of Life. I felt like it was just like I never knew what the Bible was either. And so, yeah, I didn't know Jesus in school. I would just go to church with my friends, but we had to, you know?

Yeah. And then I would just come home and that was really it. Yeah. So I didn't know anything. So you're saying it was more so like God focused rather than. Jesus focused. Okay. I had never felt like I never knew the Holy Spirit and I never prayed really. And when I did pray like at church, it was kind of like like a specific prayer. Yeah. It was nothing like personal for me. Right. Yeah. So you never were like in your bedroom on a random day being like, hi God, it's me. It was like more kind of religious, I guess, where they're like the words were given to you to pray. Yes. Rather than you coming up with your own words to pray. Yeah. Okay. Exactly. I like. I always like it had to be like a perfect prayer. Yeah. You know? Yeah. But I would pray to my nana a lot. Yeah. So I always

pray to some, you know, but I didn't really know what I was doing, you know? But in moments where I was like having a hard time, I would just look up and ask my nana to help me. Yeah. So I was looking. Oh, I bet Jesus heard that. I know. Me too. I always think about that. Yeah. So, but yeah, I never knew the Lord, like actually knew. Wow. And also, too, I guess, I don't know. We should also introduce, like, who is Lola Sheen? Okay. Who is sweet Lola Sheen if you guys don't know her? So, Lola, tell us more also about, like, where you come from and who you are and all of that.

Okay. I come from a family who's in, like, Hollywood, like the public eye. And so, yeah, my parents, they're both actors. And I never was really, like, felt like that was meant for me, you know? Yeah. And so, yeah, but I come from a family who's very in the public eye. And I never really, kind of explained, almost like open to this stuff. Like I never had like a, it was never like around me a lot.

Yeah. So you grew up in a family where there's a lot of like attention and cameras and all of this stuff. Yeah. And how did that make you feel growing up? Like did you feel kind of like a black sheep or you're like, I don't know. I just don't feel like that's my calling or were you like, I love this? I always felt like on the outside. I always felt like I was just made for something else.

but I never knew what it was. Do you know yet? I kind of, kind of. Okay. You know, now that I have Jesus, I'm like, he was what I was looking for. But I know, like, I was just, I just never was, like, wanted to go that way. Yeah, you didn't want to, like, act or anything. I never wanted to act.

And then when I was around, like, cameras, because my whole life was basically public. Yeah, that's crazy. So crazy. Like, from the get-go. You were born into that, which I can't even imagine. So crazy. Yeah. I just remember.

Like whenever I would deal with like paparazzi or stuff was in the news, like, it never felt right to me. And like I get so many questions like when I was younger. Like, oh, this is like what you're going to be like. And I was just like, I don't know. I always like did my own thing kind of. I always sort of staying out of the way. Yeah. And you have siblings too, right? I have siblings. Yes. I have an older sister. Her name is Sammy. And then a younger sister and her name is Eloise. And then I have a stepdad. His name's Erin. And then my mom's Denise. And then my dad is Charlie. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. Okay, so yeah, so growing up, we're in the public eye, everyone's looking at you. We're growing up Catholic, or at least like going to Catholic school. Don't know Jesus. We know of God. We know the things to say to God. Yes.

Don't really know the Holy Spirit. You don't have intimacy with God. So what was that like, even with just the way that you grew up, like in school and everything, what was it like making friendships? What was it like finding your hobbies or the things that you live? Love, like tell me about all of that too. Yeah. Yeah, I had a really hard time making friends and trusting people because I would go to school

and my friends would come to me and tell me something that was in the news that I didn't even know. And I don't know. I always felt like people were just friends with me because they just wanted something. And what made you feel that way? Like, did you feel that that was actually something you found out about certain friends? Or was it just the way that they would act around you and then behind your back? like what made it so hard? A lot of it became about money.

Like people like going on trips and like sort of just taking, I felt a little like maybe taken advantage up by some people, you know, but it's, I'm sure a lot of people can relate to that. But yeah, I had a hard time with friends. Also, some people weren't allowed to be my friend. That's a crazy thing. Isn't that crazy, Allie? Because of your family?

Wow. Because there was just so much stuff public, they like. They didn't want to be associated with it. Wow. And then even with hobbies and stuff, like. When my dad would come to my, like, soccer games or my, like, force hook riding or whatever it is, there's always paparazzi there or everybody would talk about it and stuff. About him being there?

Yeah. Yeah. And so those things were a little interesting. I always felt very, like, looked at. Yeah. Okay, I have another question, too. And don't let me project this if this wasn't the case. But I would, I'm just like, if I were to put myself in Lola's shoes and I'm thinking

about, like, how that would be, obviously you love your parents. Yeah. They've been successful at what they do. but at the same time would you feel as if you were kind of like living in a shadow or like you just weren't able to even have your own identity where you're like I'm just Lola yeah you know yeah was that hard or I can only imagine I feel like people would be like oh you're so and so's daughter before just saying you're Lola yeah yeah you know oh wow that happens all the time yeah even now it happens but I always did feel in the shadow yeah I never feel like I was known for me you

And they actually wanted to know me. I feel like I was just known for like... Where you came from? Yeah. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

I did not know who I was before I found Jesus. So we have a lack of identity maybe during this time. Which makes sense. We all, if we don't have Jesus, I did too. I didn't know who I was or I think I had theories of maybe who I thought I was. But it's hard without Jesus. So that makes sense. I think because I was listening to what so many people were saying online,

it was like that. became how I saw myself. Okay. Yeah. Here, should we take a sip of our coffee? Yeah, should we? Why does mine look lighter than yours when we got the same thing? What's that about? Maybe they put more milk in yours? Maybe. Okay, so that's like middle school, high school. Yeah. So what was your experience like in high school growing up? Also, did you have like an idea of what you wanted to do with your life? I didn't. So no pressure if you did it. I had no idea. But like at this point, do we have any more vision? Like, where we were? You? We didn't. So no pressure if you did it? I had no idea. But like, at this point, do we have any more vision? Like, where at when it comes to friendships, like what we want to do with our life. I guess like press, like all that

stuff in high school. In high school, I did have like some friends. Yeah. He's like girls that I was friends with. It never felt like it was like deep friendships, you know? Yeah. But I don't know. I had a really hard time in high school. That was when I started experiencing pretty bad like anxiety and depression. And I also felt like in high school I was still on the outside. Like I never like had someone that was like, wow. Like my friend. know, like a good, good friend. But yeah, I did feel a little, like, I felt pretty lonely in high school. I also felt like I was kind of following what everybody else wanted to do. And I tried really hard to fit in, I remember. Like, I never really did things because I wanted to do it. Like, I would just

agree because I wanted to be liked, I guess. Yeah. And then I started to want to model in high school, but I don't know if that was because I really wanted to, or it was just because my sister was getting into modeling and then my mom did too. Yeah. And I was like, oh, I feel like I felt like Allie also was going to say like, I always felt like the only way I could be successful is if I did something that my mom did. Wow. Yeah. So in high school, I started trying to model. And I think God was really protecting me because it never worked out. I had so many interviews. It totally could have been his protection. I think it was. So yeah. I tried modeling so many times. And what is that when you said you tried to model

What does that mean? Like, were you signed with, like, an agency and stuff? I tried. Okay. So I tried to get signed. They never wanted me. I love that. It can be, like, such rejection.

I know. Like, there are times where I look back in my life and I'm like, wow. They, like, really were like, no. Yeah. There was even a season where I tried to model two. Really? I mean, I did a little bit, but it was, like, for, like, rooms to go. Okay.

No. It's like a furniture company. And, I mean, it was the cool. thing at the time actually because I would just model on couches so I would like sit on a couch and I'm doing it right now actually but we're just for the pod but yeah I would model on couches and then it would come in our newspaper and my parents would be so they'd like cut it out and put it on the fridge that's the kind of modeling I got into but there were a couple agencies that were like you're too short you know whatever and so it really didn't like work out a lot for me either

but that's okay you know we try things and if there's not a grace then there just isn't grace. So modeling, you're beautiful. You're beautiful. You could be a model. So sweet. But there just wasn't a grace for it. And that's okay. I never feel like I could do it right. Your heart probably wasn't even totally, right? Were you like, I can't wait to be a model or were you like, I didn't feel like. Sure. Yeah. You know. Yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. Okay. I remember the other question I was going to ask you is with like, I don't know, like, were people writing about you like all the time? Or was it like every so often? Like, or was it, were there seasons where it was like constant where you were like, okay, I literally can't stop seeing things that are being said about me or my family.

And also, like, did you have to learn how to set any kind of boundaries with looking at that stuff? Or were you just, like, consumed in that and, like, caring so much about it. Because it sounds like, before Jesus, you really cared a lot about what people had to say because you're like, I don't know, I guess that matters, right? Is what everyone else is saying about me and my family? Yeah. So, yeah, what was that like?

Yeah, I remember, I think my mom, she did try her best to, like, keep me protected from what people would be saying. But then I would come to school and then people would tell me things there. And so you would find out anyway. I would find out anyways. I did read a lot of stuff. There was a lot of stuff going on with my dad in elementary school. And so I was so very unsafe. Like I feel like stuff was just always being said. I wonder if that's what made you such an anxious being. I know. That like that kind of environment of, you know, would make me very anxious. So I can imagine like how, you know, going to school every day and not knowing what people are thinking or what they could be saying or what they're going to tell you next. That's not a very peaceful environment. Yeah. It's so true.

I always think about that, Allie. Yeah. Like I ask the Lord a lot why I experienced so much anxiety. And I think it's just like the way my brain was wired was just being like fight or flight in case like something happens. Yeah. Yeah. Because of your environment. Yeah, because my environment. Totally. There was a lot of stuff like being said I would have helicopters over my house. It's not crazy. That's crazy. I know. And like stalkers too. Wow. When your stuff's online, people just like, you know, they see you. And so people can be really scary. It's wild. I like for I like don't, I forget how much people could be obsessed with your parents. I get they're like famous. I forget. I'm like, I guess they're really

famous. Allie, I forget all the time. Yeah. Oh, I bet. I mean, they're just your parents to you. Even to me, I feel like they're more so like famous and maybe my, like, like, my parents' generation, like, you know? So, yeah, I like forget. They're kind of, I guess they're like a big deal. I know. But that's crazy. Like helicopters and stalkers, I'm like, oh my gosh. Is that crazy? Yeah, that's no, that's hard for kids. Yeah. Yeah, but I forget a lot that they're famous. Yeah, I bet. And then it happens with my dad a lot where I'll just be with him and I realize. And I'm like, wait, it's like so weird. Wait, so what makes you realize? I don't know. Like, are people staring or like, like, Sometimes I just have little moments where I'm like, wait, you're so famous. It's so weird.

Wait, Dad, you're like so famous. It's so weird. It's true. I guess he is very famous. Yeah. He even visited my work the other day. Oh, he did. I love that. I know right. It was so cute. But then the guy that was like buying stuff, he turned around and he yelled so loud. He was like, can I get a photo? Oh, bless. It was really sweet. Did they take a picture? Yeah. Oh, that's sweet. Yeah. So in those moments, you're like, oh, yeah. Yeah. Famous dad. Exactly.

That's crazy, Lola. So when it comes to, like, looking at this stuff online, again, like, are we setting any boundaries? Are we just consuming all of it? I think I was consuming all of it. Yeah. Because it was through people through school. And, yeah. So even as you're trying to, like, avoid it.

Yeah. It's still being said to you anyway. Yes. Exactly. Yeah. And so it was in high school that you really started to feel kind of more anxious. Yeah. Can you tell us more about where you were at, like, mentally?

Yeah. There. I remember when I was in ninth grade, I was like, I was okay. Also, like, are you dating? Are there boys in your life or what? Tell me about that part. I wish, Ali. I wish. There is someone that I have a crush on. Right now? But you know. I was talking about high school, Lola, but I want to talk about now too. I'm going to stop it. No, wait. Are you ready? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We'll talk later. Sorry, guys. We're going to talk about this later. But no. At the time in high school, I'm curious to know, like, how was your dating? That's so funny, Ellie. Because here, here's the thing. For me, this is on such a smaller scale. My dad was a cop growing up. So, like, my whole, he would drop me off. Actually, I kind of, I felt really cool at the time, but also it made sense that no boys wanted to date me. Because they were scared. They were scared. I was literally physically being dropped off to school in my dad's cop car. Before he had to go to work, he dropped me off on the way there.

No, but I didn't get asked to prom. Yeah, so anyway, this isn't about me. I don't just say. On that level, like, no one would want to date me. But I wonder, like, what was dating like for you? Did your family or where you come from affect that at all? Okay. Like, did you have boys in your life?

I definitely had an elementary school boys that were, like, weirdly, like, obsessed. But it was just because they wanted to get to know my dad. Oh. Like, they wanted to get to be able to go to. his house. Yeah. So it's kind of the same theme as like friends. Yes. Where you're like, okay, no one's really looking at me like just Lola. Yeah. I'm, you know, the daughter of so-and-so. Yeah. Yeah. And so I also never really got asked either. I think boys were kind of scared to. Hey, listen, I think it was God's protection. You think so. Is that what we're going to say every time just to

like help our egos and be like, no, no, no, it was definitely God protecting me. It definitely was. No, I think it was. No, I think it was. though because if they didn't have good intentions anyway then it's like exactly you might as well just not exactly I did have one boyfriend though you did oh what was his name his name was Will well same as well we were I was 16 this was in 10th grade okay was you're first kiss no who was your first when was your first kiss Lilla I was 15 okay that's really that's really was I don't know how old I was when I had my first yeah I feel like people have their first kiss at like 10 like nine. Is that crazy? Yeah. I think I was scared to kiss boys. I was so

scared. Were you scared? Yes. I was like freaking out. What's going to happen? I was like, I don't know what I'm doing. Yeah, that part. It's so funny. I would still be scared. Yeah. I still am sometimes, you know. Yeah. But yeah, I had one boyfriend. It didn't last very long. Okay. But that's okay. That's okay. I don't know if I ever told you about it. I've never heard about Will. I've never, this is just me asking it this point. I don't know if anyone else cares, but I was like, wait, Lola, tell me. Yeah, okay. So we've had one boyfriend.

Yeah. Freshman year of high school then, yeah? This was sophomore. Okay. Yeah, sophomore year. Okay. But yeah, that was it. And then I did like, you know, I had crushes in high school.

I'd one crush, but we never really dated. Would you, like, write his name a million times in your journal? Girl, I was weird like that. I'd be like, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh, Josh. I journaled Will's name a lot. You did? I was always journaling that. That's so sweet.

So funny. Okay, so back to where you were at mentally, though, in high school. Okay, so let's talk about the stuff that, because I do know your story for the most part, but the stuff that really basically led you to Jesus, right? Like all these things that you kind of started to struggle with in face. What was that like? When I was 16, I don't even know what, like, triggered this or what? happen, I think just like maybe just high school in general. But I started to really deal with depression.

The only other time I dealt with that was when I was 10. Wow. I know. Did you know that it was depression when you were 10? Okay. My mom, she was like very concerned. But I love your mommy. Me too. I love her. Yeah. She's the best. I think you guys would be friends. And we're going to be. I think you are. But yeah, I like, I really started to deal with depression. And when I was 10, it was like, I came out of it very fast because I was so young. I was obsessed with the show like H2O. Okay. And so I remember it.

I started watching that. Just like distracting myself. I always just felt, I think it was just from feeling like a shadow too, you know. And so when I was 16, I started to experience really severe depression. Yeah, I don't even know why. I feel like I couldn't really control it. And I think a lot of people with depression maybe can relate. or who's dealt with it.

It feels like it's like it just completely overtook me. Wow. And then I remember I had a really bad panic attack one night. And it sent me into just like such an isolation because I was so scared to have that again. And what were you doing? Were you just like in your room and it just kind of came? Yeah.

I was in my room. I remember I had school the next day and I was really nervous to go to school a lot. It was really hard for me to like get to school. Yeah. And so the night before I. I had a really bad panic attack, and I ended up isolating myself for like three months. Wow. I had like Life 360 on my phone, and it was like two months I hadn't left the house still,

and people started like showing up my friends, and they were like, Lola, why are you still home? Like, what's going on? And you said your mom was worried at this point, too. My mom was worried. My dad was really worried. I was living with my dad, and he would ask me every day to, like, go on walks and just, like, get myself out. But I literally could not leave my room. It was so crazy.

Like I was just like stuck. Like I was so scared of every little thing. Wow. And I became a really bad hypochondriac too. I always thought there was like something wrong with my body. And so I think also when you're like isolated for so long, I kind of felt like I was going crazy. So my life just felt very like depressing. So I would wake up and then I was scared to go outside.

So it was just like the same thing every day. Wow. Yeah. Yeah, you're like living the same day over and over. Yeah. Exactly. And so I remember. this one week, I was now on my bed for like three months. And I was like, okay, life just does not seem like it's getting better. I never saw myself coming out of that room. Like I was like, I think my life is just going to be these four walls forever. Wow. And this was actually before I met Will. And I remember saying, I was like, I'm never going to be able to get a boyfriend because I can't leave my house. And so I started to get my mom. This was like a very hard thing for me too. I remember.

because I wanted to see my mom, but I couldn't leave my house. She would text me like, I missed you, and I'm like, it was really hard for me because I was like, I miss you so much, but I literally am terrified to leave, you know? So I started to experience really bad, just thoughts of just not wanting to be here. And then, yeah, I don't know. I started to get really suicidal. I remember there was just one night and I was like, I just don't see myself coming out of this. And I started praying really hard of my nana because I didn't know God.

It's so funny that you were praying to your nana. funny. I would like write her name down and I was like, Nana, like I just need you to help. And so I made her my screen saver. Oh my gosh. Isn't that so sweet? And I was like little as I know like God was Jesus. I know he was just right there. It was Jesus. I think I had a lot of open doors because during that time I was going to psychics and I had crystals. Wow. What were the psychics telling you? Do you remember any of the things that they told you? You know what's so funny, Ali, is the only thing they would always say is like you're going to be. like an actress or something and they would always just talk about like me acting how did that make you feel were you like oh or were you like no i was i remember i walked out and i was just like i think

they knew who my mom was or something or my dad but i also don't know but i was walked out and i never walked out being like oh my gosh like i have so much hope for my future right i have all the answers now i know my purpose yeah it was never like that i never felt fulfilled obviously sure yeah But yeah, during that time, I was like looking to just find things to make me feel like I had a purpose. You needed an anchor. Yeah, I needed an anchor. Yeah, I got really dark. I actually wore all black all the time.

And now all you wear is white. All you wear is white. Jesus. It's so crazy. It's amazing. It's so crazy, Allie. You're a new creation, my girl. Yeah.

Yeah. So, yeah. Lola in all black, that's crazy. Allie? I don't even know who that version of you is. I don't either. Who is she? She died.

She died. She died. She died. She died. Hallelujah. Thank you, God. We love her. We still love her.

She was doing the best she could with what she knew. But wow. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. So I did come out of that, though. My friend Sarah, she would show up and she got me out of the house. I actually started going, well, I won't say my work, but I started going to the job that I have now.

That's a good idea. Yeah. I started going to my work at this place, address my hours on. art. It's so funny. I know. I was thinking about it too this morning. I was like about the questions I was going to ask you and I was like, oh, I should probably not like say like where she lives or like even, you know, the details of our life, you know, in her life. So I've done that, Ellie and I've had like in other interviews I've gone and they've had a cut a lot of stuff now. Because you're like giving away your address. I just got a job here. My phone number is. That's so funny. Sometimes we get a little too

comfy, it's okay. Exactly. But yeah, I did come out of that. I finally, I finally left my house. And I started- Sweet Sarah. Yeah, she really did help me. And so I moved back in with my mom because I just wanted to leave that room that I was in. But yeah, I still didn't know the Lord. Like, were you feeling better at that point? Or, okay. I did get a therapist during that time. My dad called a therapist. And then I started seeing her, and I did help. It was never like, I had a like a lot of like hope obviously. Sure. But it was like I was better.

Sure. I didn't feel like I wanted to like not be here anymore. Yeah. There are resources in the world. Yeah. Aside from Jesus that can help. That's real. It's not like it's Jesus and nothing else can help.

Yeah, yeah. There are things that can help. But I think what the difference is between the help of the world and the help of Jesus is the help of the world can only go so far. Yeah. Wow. There's help in it. There is.

Like, I believe that therapy has help. I believe that there's resources and things that you can go to that can help. Yeah. But when it comes to the help of Jesus, he can help you as far. Like, it's infinite. As far as he can actually bring complete healing. Yeah. That's why we need him.

It's not that the world can't bring healing. Yeah. Or help, but it's like, do you want complete healing? Wow. Do you want all the help that you need? Yeah. Do you want full deliverance? Yeah.

And sometimes it's beautiful when those things come together where it's like therapy, with Jesus. Therapy that's Christian-based or whatever, but it's like maybe there can be a misconception where it's like, it's not that there can't be help, but it can only take you so far. So it's interesting. Like your story testifies to that where you're like, yeah, it helped me, but you still didn't really have hope. Exactly. Weird. That's so crazy, Ellie. So then where's the hope? Exactly. Okay. Keep going. Yeah. And so I remember everything was very like temporary. Mm-hmm. Yep. You know, which like makes sense. I remember I fell in love with Hawaii. And I went on vacation one time and I remember I was so happy there and then I came home and I was like,

how do I feel that like happiness again? You know, like it was always like temporary little things. Yeah, it was never like joy all the time. Totally. You know? Yeah. I remember I was like 17 now. I started doing homeschool because I was so anxious.

I was too scared to go to school. Wow. Okay. Yeah. So you started getting homeschooled because you were like, I can't go to school anymore. Wow. Yeah. It was when I was afraid to leave my house.

I decided to just go online because my school was like, where is she? She's failing. She's failing school. No, I literally had to do like three extra months because I didn't do anything. Oh, that's awful. I know, Allie. Yeah. But yeah, and then when I was 18, I was doing better mentally.

And then something happened when I turned 18. I went to Hawaii for my 18th birthday. And then I started dealing with a little bit of anxiety again, like pretty bad. And then I came home from Hawaii and I don't know what happened, but it was like, everything just like hit me again. I think what felt so hopeless in this time too was because I was already in therapy. I feel like I had already like tried everything I could. Yeah. And so I was like, why am I still feeling this way?

And then I started having bad panic attacks again. And I would call my mom asking to take me to the hospital a lot because I thought I was going to die. Yeah. And it was just so much fear that I felt like I was like I was. like trapped in. I noticed the first thing, I think the enemy always liked attack was to isolate me. Totally. You know? Yeah. And so I started isolating myself again. Because you're even more vulnerable when you're, when you're isolated. Yeah. Like he has like full reign to speak whatever he wants. Yeah. Like you're alone, which is probably the most dangerous place you could be. Yeah. But for some reason

when you're in that space, you're like, no, this is what needs to. Like I need to be alone. Yes, exactly. Yeah. So true, Ali. Because no one like can help. you're like that isolated you know like that's how I felt but I also felt like I was too much like to ask for help which I also think is why I isolated myself yeah and I also didn't tell anybody that I was struggling this time so like nobody really knew and so yeah I was in my room probably for like two months wow again so we're learning through this again yeah wow and I was like okay I'm back where I was like three or two years ago and I was just so scared it started to get very dark everything around me just felt really dark.

I remember I saw my friends, like, they would all hang out and be really happy. And I would just be like, I'm never going to get there. Wow. Yeah, like, that's how it felt. I was like, I don't think I'm ever going to genuinely laugh. And, yeah, I was just so depressed. And I think also, like, the way I saw myself when I was depressed was really bad. Like, I just didn't have any self-worth, you know?

And, yeah, I was in my room leading up to, like, me meeting the Lord. I feel like there's a difference of like feeling like you don't want to be here, but then actually mean like, okay, this is my only answer. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't see anything past what I was going through. Right. Yeah.

And it's hard to. Yeah. Like, I mean, I've never experienced what you went through. But I can imagine that it's probably really hard to see past all of that when it's so distracting and loud and dark and foggy. Yeah. Like you have no clarity probably of mind. Yeah.

And those feelings are so. heavy that it's like I can't even hear anything else. Yeah. I'd imagine that that's, yeah. Would you say that that's kind of how it was? Yes. Yeah. Yeah, I couldn't hear anything. My mind felt very like, just so consumed of like darkness. Yeah, any light I just like couldn't even like imagine feeling any better. Wow. Yeah. And so I remember this one day, I just like realized that this was like, I'm never coming out of this. Yeah. But I always felt something in my stomach. It was like a little light I always felt, you know, I always felt something that was like keep going and it was like, I knew it was Jesus. And that happened like three days before I found him. Wow. Yeah, because I was like,

I was really being like, no, I'm never going to make it out of this. And I thought, wow. Yeah, I never thought I was going to turn 19. And I remember always like hoping that I would make it to that age. And yeah, I don't know. I was very scared. And then I started to experience really bad nightmares, which also makes sense, you know. I think when your mind just so, like, anxious, it was just the only thing, now I was like, I have anxious dreams do. Yeah, you're like, even when I go to sleep.

I'm like, even when I go to sleep. Yeah, and then I was just, like, scared to go to bed all the time, but I was also scared of being alive. Being away. That's so bad. It's not funny, but. It's okay. You have to laugh sometimes, you know?

Yeah, and then I remember, it's like, yeah, this is it. Like, I don't know. I'm never coming out of this. I just made the choice. And I thought that it was going to end my life. But I never knew. Like, I just thought I was going to die from like fear or something. And then, yeah, one night I was like, it was really dark.

I was really scared for the morning. What year is this? Is it last year? Yeah, last year. 2024? Yeah. This was like middle of me being 18 kind of. And so, yeah, I remember I was in my bed and everything was so dark.

I was on my phone because I was always just on TikTok because I had nothing. I think. My favorite app. I know. It still is. It still is my favorite. It's my favorite. It's my favorite.

I mean, it's my favorite. It's so crazy. I was on TikTok, and I remember I was, like, scrolling through in this video. And what was the kind of content that would come up on your feed? It's so funny, Ellie, because a lot of it was, like, I also was kind of, I think I still had eye crystals in my room and stuff. And so some of it was, like, those weird, like, tarot card videos. Yeah, that would come up on mine, too.

B-C-L, yeah. Or like psychics would go live. I loved going into those because they'd be like comment and I'll tell you. Yeah. I thought it was so cool. Yeah, me too. Yeah. And so, yeah, it was like just TikToks like that or like just like my friends videos.

Just like, I don't even know. I would watch a lot of Gilmore girls. I remember that's what I would watch too. So some Gilmore girl stuff would come up. But then I don't know. It's so crazy because I feel like you have to be on Christian TikTok to see a Christian video. Yes. Right? Yeah. That's why I asked because I'm like, would anything of like religion come up on your feed really? No. Isn't that so crazy, Ali? Like nothing. And it wasn't even like I was

against God. I just didn't even think about God. Yeah. Like I remember I would always be really scared. I just never knew what happened after you died too. Like I was like nothing. Like I just never knew. You just die. I knew just die. That's it. So that's probably what I, well, I don't know. Heaven. Yeah. Yeah, I guess maybe for me. I don't know what I'm like thinking about like what I thought. I'm like, I don't know what I thought. Wow. Yeah, it's so crazy. Or I thought it was like I would just be with my nana somehow. You know. You're sweet nana. But but yeah, this one night I was like on my phone and this video of you came up and it was like you were looking in the camera and I remember you were wearing this like, I think it was the red dress video. You're wearing this red dress and Ali was like she was crying into. the phone and you were saying something about, I remember you said something about like being alive and you were like, hey, like, just don't give up. Like God is such a good plan for you, like you're meant to be here. And I remember I saw it. It was just like a light in your eyes. You know, so sweet.

I always say this, Allie has like so much like love in her face. Like anytime you like smile, I just like feel like Jesus is like smiling through you. It's so sweet. So I remember I would watch her video and it was like the first time I felt like some sort of like light. Thank you God. Yeah, it's so crazy. Even like sitting here now, it's so crazy. Yeah, I saw the video and I was like, oh my gosh, like who is his girl? Like I was like, she's such a light like in her eyes. Like I need that. And I remember like sitting for a second and I was like, wait, I've never thought about Jesus. Like who is that? Yeah. And I remember I went to bed that night with like a small smile on my face. And I was like, I don't know, something like felt kind of different. And then the next day, I was scrolling

on my phone. I started going on your TikTok more. And I was like, this girl loves God. This is crazy. It's so crazy. I was like, she loves God. You'd make these videos. I remember like the high Jesus, like, you know, like the journals. Yeah. And those is what really like caught my attention so much to because I started journaling. Well, this is after. But I don't know. I just watch all these videos. And I was like, she loves Jesus so much. And I remember, like, I was just so open. Like, I felt like my heart was like, I'm like, you know? Yeah. It wasn't like I was like, oh, I was just so, like, intrigued. Wow. Yeah. And I remember I was laying down to my right side and my window was open. I was, you know, Jesus probably didn't come through my window. He might have. He might have. Yeah, my window was open.

It was like midnight. And I wasn't on my phone. And I was going to bed. I was laying to my right. And I remember for a second, I was like, wait, I'm so scared to have like a nightmare or something. And I literally don't know how to explain it other than like, it literally was like Jesus came in my room. Wow. Like his presence, like filled my room. And you've never experienced that before.

No, never. Wow. I never felt the presence of God, but I knew that it was him. Yeah. Which is so crazy. Yeah. You know? And so my room was filled with the Holy Spirit.

And I remember just like I turned to my left and I was like, my eyes were closed and I felt like Jesus just hugged me. It was like I felt like warmth on my hand. Like I don't know how to explain. And it felt like, you know how we both hear God a lot. So it felt like. Which I'm so proud of you. Thank you, Allie. You've grown a lot in that. I love you, it's so cool to witness. It's so it's, I don't even think I'll be like, I mean, I heard God say this. You know, I heard him say that. And you know, I heard him say that. And you're like, you're always like, I heard God blank. And it's just so cool that you hear him so much now.

Wow. Thank you, Ali. It's literally, like, you helped me realize that, though. So I don't think I realized it. I think it takes, like, believing it. Like, when you hear those kind of, that, like, still voice that comes into your mind, like, believing that it's God. And I think also, it's just really, like, in time, too, you know?

Where it's, like, you kind of learn God's voice. We're like, okay, wait, last time that happened and I heard this. Like, it was God. You know? And you just kind of, would you say that? That's like how. Yes. It's like you learn.

Exactly. You also help me because you said something, how it won't go against scripture. Yeah, it's true. Right? Yeah. And also, like, it's never going to be a voice that's like, like, it's never, I'm, like, doubting it. Sure. I'm like, okay.

Like, it feels like peaceful. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. And for me, I'm like, like, if I'm like, oh, was it, would I say that? But it's never something I was even thinking. Mm-hmm. You know?

That's the best. Right? Yeah. It's so cool. You're like, that couldn't have even been my inner thought. I wouldn't have never thought that. Yeah. Exactly.

Yeah. I feel like the Lord told me, I just heard rescue. Like that was the word. And so I fell in love with the song, Rescue. And then. By Lauren Daigle. Yeah. And then the next morning, I had no idea what I was doing because.

Were you like, was that a dream? Yes. So great. I was like, was that a dream? What did I just experience last night? I remember I woke up and it was like obviously supernatural. But I was like, I was like, don't even know what I'm feeling right now. So crazy. And so I also felt the Lord a lot when I woke up.

It literally felt like he was like sitting on my bed in front of me. Oh, so sweet. And I remember being like, okay, Jesus, like, I know I just met you last night, but I don't know what I'm doing, but I know that it was you. And I looked up on Safari because I didn't even know how to pray. Literally me, girl, Google disciples me too. I was like, really, Ellie. What? What? Really? Really? Allie. kind of Bible do I get? Where do I start in the Bible? Like I also didn't have a lot of clarity. I also didn't even know what a testimony was. Yeah, same. No, same. I didn't even know what that word meant. Yeah, same. I had to Google that. Me, you taught me. Because people would be like, what's your testimony? And I'm like, what does that mean? That's so funny. Yeah. And so, yeah,

I looked up and then I looked up, how do I a prayer to give my life to Jesus? And I prayed it. And I remember i just like that's so crazy lola that's awesome i know you were my shepherd the lord used me yeah you're right yeah like everything i did i was just like following in your footsteps and then this podcast i would watch almost every night because i this one this one stop did you know that ellie i don't know if i knew that you watched it every night alie i watched it every night lolla that's so cool idea that the second I walked in, that's why I was crying. So I was like, I don't think. What is going on?

Full circle. Wow. So full circle, Allie. I watched it all the time because I had no idea what I was doing and no one of my family, like, I got to go to the husband. So every day, I'm like, okay, like, I just literally did what you did. And then you got like the idea of church in my mind. And you made a video about like, hey, like, I don't know if it was one of your lives, but I'd also go in your lives and read the Bible with you.

I don't know if I ever told you that. I haven't done one of those in a long time. Yeah. I bought the Bible that you had and the Bible was so intimidating. So I was like, I have no idea what I'm doing. Yeah. And so I started reading Matthew on one of your lives. And then, yeah, I'd watch his podcast because it was just like my safe space.

Yeah. Because no one else around me knew Jesus. But it was kind of like just me and the Lord. And then you helping me. Yeah. But yeah, then I went to church for the first time. And I was so scared. go alone, but you made a video and you were like, if you're nervous to go alone, just do it.

Yeah. You said something that like Jesus is with you there. And I was like, oh my gosh, you're right. What's crazy is like everything I was saying was because also the Lord had either just recently walked me through that or I was also walking through that at the same time. Like I remember when I would be encouraging other people to go to church alone, I'd be like, because I'm doing it. And God's walking me through that, you know? So it's just, I think your story just testifies to how faithful God is with like, he doesn't just want one. I mean, he'll leave the 99 for the one, but he also has a plan to continue to save more of his kids. And so as he's like walking me through it, and apparently there was a grace for me to then broadcast every step I was taking on the internet, it was also leading people like you too.

It's just so cool to see that the Lord like really was walking us through that together kind of, you know? Literally. Yeah. That's so cool, Ali. I love that. Okay. And he's so specific, like who he chose. Yeah, he is.

Yeah. Yeah. Because he knew for whatever reason you would connect with me, I guess, which is cool. So cool. Yeah. Okay. And so then we should probably fast forward to the part where we connected. Yes.

So how are we sitting on this couch together right now? Wait, I can kind of take this for a sec. Okay. I was going to say, I feel like you should take it. So whatever, however many months ago, when you had your interview with, was it the 700 Club? Who was it with? Oh. Who's it with?

CBN? CBN. CBN. Also, I was getting so convinced not to do that interview. That's crazy. I know. Wait, people were telling you not to do it. A lot of people told me not to do it.

Wow. That's the only reason that we're connected right now. I know. Isn't that crazy? I'm so glad you did it. No, but so your interview went live. Yes. And I was getting all of these people tagging me in one of the social clips that they had posted on Instagram.

And I was like, what is all of it? I was even getting DMs about it where people were like, Loa Sheen and all due respect, I didn't know. I had never, I love you. But I didn't know who you were. I was like, who is Lola Sheen? It's so funny. Oh my gosh, sweet Lola Sheen.

But yeah, so I'm watching this video of you, like, sharing your story, and you had mentioned me in your interview. And that's why people were tagging me so much because they were like, Allie, you have no idea how much you were a part of Lola's testimony and her story of being saved. And so when I saw that video, I had clicked on your page, saw that you also lived here. I think I, like, I sent you a voice memo, just encouraging you and being like, what the heck, this is such an honor that the Lord used me in such a way. And then I felt led to ask you if you had any kind of like community or if you were going to a church.

And you told me that you were kind, you were like going to a church at that time, but you didn't have like a ton of community. And it was still not super certain about where you were going. And so I was like, well, where do you live? And you lived very close to where I lived. Yeah. Which was crazy. It's so close. Insane.

And you were actually physically on the way to church of where me and Ash go to. And so that was on a Saturday. Yeah. And I was like, well, I guess we're picking you up tomorrow and we're all going to church. And so we picked you up the next day. And we went to church the next day and the rest was history. And now you couldn't be more intertwined with our community at church. And also how has that experience been like since being plugged in at our church?

Ellie, it literally changed my entire life. I'm so glad. I have so many moments, Ali, where I'm just like with God and I'm just like I don't say anything. So I'm like, I just don't know how to thank you. Yeah. I prayed every day for one sister in Christ and a spiritual family. I was like, that's all I need God. I just want one sister that I can just walk with.

And I pray for spiritual parents. And then he gave me so many. Give you more than that. And not only did he give me like a sister in Christ, but you. I was like, God. Oh, Lola. You're so sweet. That is crazy.

I still can't fathom it. And I'll say one more thing. Oh, we could literally talk for like another. talk forever but we can't we're wrapping um is that video that i made in my kitchen i was like in the middle of literally sweeping my floor or something like doing the most normal mundane like dishes whatever it was and all of a sudden out of the blue i just felt this burden from god it physically brought me to tears like i was like almost on the floor about it that's how burdened i felt and i didn't even understand it like i didn't know what it was or why i felt so burdened out of nowhere but i felt the lord be like

you have to make this video and I need you to give people hope. I believe it was more. Me too. You for sure, God was like, I need you to reach my girl Lola. But I can't even, I don't, there's had to have been more. But this is just so crazy for me to witness. Because a lot of times it's like, you know, we do things and we feel burdens from God to do. But we don't always see like the immediate impact.

Yeah. Which is fine. You know, it's really, it comes down to just obedience. Me like, okay, God, I'm just going to do this. But I felt the Lord's heart for you with making that video. I know that that was the heart of God for you in that. It's just as rewarding for me being able to be like, oh my gosh, because of that burden I was feeling and I didn't even understand why.

Like, it was also the grace of God that he let me see why. I know. He let me see why and meet you and become friends with you. I know. So it's just really sweet of God. That's crazy, Ali. Yeah. Like I never would have thought I'd be able to, because I always prayed and I would ask God

if I can run into you and be like, I'm like, I'm like, need to tell her, you used her to save my life. Yes. And I would pray all the time about you, Ali. And I'm like, little did I know he saw us being here today. It's crazy. It's supernatural, actually. I can literally talk about it for the rest of my life.

Thank you, God. Sister, I'm so proud of you. I'm also so proud of you because I know that it hasn't been easy. And I just want to honor you in how much you really are so hungry for Jesus. Like every day, you're like, I just need him. And I'm telling you, you will be. able to do anything in your life as long as you're in that heart posture of like all i need is jesus and you're doing it thank you i'm really proud of you and he's so proud of you for how much you really

value like you fear god yeah like above all else it's crazy like the 180 of you coming from a place of like all you did was fear people and like what people had to say and i'm sure there's still temptation for that but what i see from you the most is like fear of god like you really just want to do right by God and you want to do what makes him proud. And so, yeah, I'm just really proud of you for that. Thank you. You're faithful, honey. And you're so special. And I'm so excited to see what the Lord does with your life. That means everything to me. Thank you for having me. Thanks for coming on. This was literally the biggest gift of my life. Thank you, Jesus. This was so sweet, Lola. This was so special. Guys, you can also find Lola on socials. She has her own podcast as well.

Will you tell us the name of your podcast? Where can we find it? I love you, Ali. It's called I'm loving bonded. I only have two videos. It's on YouTube. It's on YouTube. You can find it there. Yeah, you guys should check it out. I love you, Lola. I love you, Ali. You need to put your stuffed animal. I know I didn't. Is it a stuffed animal? Wait, I have to talk. Oh my gosh. Lola brings me a gift on my own podcast. What is that? Really? It was a gift to be here. What do you mean? But you're so sweet. You didn't have to do this. All I did was get you a coffee. I feel like it's not fair. Stop, this is so precious. When I saw this, I was like, that just reminds me of Atlas. It's perfect.

Isn't it so cute? I love him. Is it a boy or a girl? I think it's a boy. I think it's a boy. Oh, he's everything. He's so cute, right? Lola, thank you.

Of course, Allie. Is he a mouse or a bear? I think he's a bear. Wait, I'm going to just put him on my shelf. A lot of the stuffed animals there, their faces are kind of look funny. Okay. This one was the least funny. That's why I reminded you of me.

It said me like, no, but they all look funny. Oh, but it took me 20 minutes to pick the right one. Oh, my gosh, Lola, I love you. Thank you. I love you, Ellie. Thank you for everything. Oh my gosh, this was so fun. Guys, thank you for being here.

Thank you for tuning in. Thank you for loving my sweet girl, Lola. Guys, can we do something cool today? Can we show somebody how cool Jesus is? Can we walk more like him, talk more like him, be more like Jesus? We love you guys. And I will see you in the next episode. Bye.

Are some of y'all still listening? Okay, if you're still here, that means you're a real one, which is why I'm about to share this with you. If you've already caught up on all the episodes so far, and you don't want to wait until next Friday for a new one, I have really good news for you. Subscribe to our Patreon to get early access to the episodes every week, early access to merch launches, or any other exciting news,

and receive personalized, encouraging messages or Bible verses from us. Subscribe to our Patreon at www.com backslash C, backslash CWCOI. I do also want to mention that there is a way to give to the podcast, so if you ever feel led to donate, it blesses me so much, and it helps allow the podcast to keep running. You can donate to our PayPal at www.papal.combe, backslash CWC-O-I. We appreciate y'all, and we love you so, so much.