Christ With Coffee On Ice - the sin nobody wants to admit they struggle with

Episode Date: October 14, 2026

Hey y'all ! Welcome to another Wednesday with CWCOI ! In this week's episode, our host, Ally Yost felt led to talk about the feeling of envy and jealousy. God says in His word that envy is a sin and it can easily manifest in us if we are not careful. As followers of Jesus we have to continually ask Him to examine our hearts and today's topic is just one of many examples where we need Him to check us in. "For the Lord God is our sun and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right." Psalm 84:11 _____________________________________________ ☆ PRE-ORDER 'LOVE THAT LASTS' HERE: https://allyyost.com/en-usd/pages/book ☆ OUR NEW MERCH IS LIVE! SHOP AT: https://allyyost.com ☆ MY BIBLE (code 'ALLYYOST' at checkout) ➤ https://hosannarevival.com/products/nlt-notetaking-bible-versailles-theme? ☆ TUMBLER LINK ➤ https://allyyost.com/products/cwcoi-glass-tumbler-white _____________________________________________ Connect further with us ! TikTok ➤ https://www.tiktok.com/@christwithcoffeeonice  Instagram ➤ https://instagram.com/christwithcoffeeonice  _____________________________________________ Connect further with Ally ! TikTok (2M) ➤ https://www.tiktok.com/@ally_yost  Instagram ➤ https://www.instagram.com/ally_yost/  ShopMy ➤ https://shopmy.us/allyyost  Pinterest ➤ https://www.pinterest.com/ally_yost1/_created/

Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with coffee on ice. I am your host, Ali Yost. It is a joy and honor to be here with you guys today. Welcome back, guys. Welcome back to another episode. I am very excited for today. I felt led to talk about a specific thing that I think a lot of us might not be super quick to admitting. I do think that this topic is worth having. I think it's a healthy conversation and I think it's um you know it's something that a lot of us have probably felt in one season or maybe it's something that you're struggling with now but it's very real I felt it I know a lot of us have but it is the feeling of envy and jealousy and um what that actually means you know I would love to dive into why because then I also feel like there's this guilt

that comes with feeling envious you know. know, like if you're aware that your first kind of gut response when you react or see somebody who is maybe getting the very thing that you've been praying for, you know, maybe there's a specific thing that you've worked really hard for and you feel like all of your hard work has gone unnoticed by the Lord. And so, you know, you see other people getting that very thing or accomplishing that very thing and you're like, wow, why not me? You know, know, and whether we're aware that that could be our initial response when we see other people thriving or getting the very things that we are not, there could be shame or there could be a feeling

of maybe like, no, I deserve that too, though, you know? Maybe your reaction in that is actually just straight up frustration and anger at the Lord. And so let's just talk about it. Let's talk about it. It's not something that I want to normalize because ultimately envy and being jealous and envious in general is a sin. The Bible shows us and God speaks to envy as something that is actually evil that can kind of manifest within us if we are not careful, you know? And I think this is something that we obviously have preached a lot on the podcast is just continually asking the Lord to examine our hearts. And I think this is just an example of many ways that we have to ask God to check our hearts, you know? And so anyway, before we get into things, before we really

jump into this topic, it's going to be a good one, guys. I'm really excited for this. I'm very excited to see what the Lord has planned for today. But before anything, we do have our Christ. And today, guys, I know it's crazy. We brought back our navy blue Bible. I typically always have my butteryellow one, which like literally is right here actually. I'm making eye contact with it. But I don't know. We're getting into the fall. And it also kind of matched my outfit. Okay, Allie, enough. Whatever. I don't have different Bibles for every outfit. That would be insanity. But I missed her. I missed our Navy Blue Bible. I just think this is like the most beautiful. Look at how gorgeous it is. Are you even joking? This is from Hussana Revival. You guys know I'm a huge fan of them. genuinely.

You know what? I'm just going to put this out there. Would it not be so fun if Hosanna and I did something together? I don't know. I don't even know what that would mean or what that would look like or what the options could even be. But I just think, I don't know. Okay, let me talk to my team about it. I haven't even said anything to anybody about that except to you guys right now. Hoseana has no idea that I'm thinking that.

Whatever. But I do love them so much. They make the most beautiful, incredible Bibles, gorgeous quality, very girly, very cutie. and I do have a code with them. If you guys ever are curious to shop with them and they don't just have Bibles, they also have beautiful journals and planners, and they even have journals to match your Bibles. And they're just really gorgeous, amazing quality will last you forever. And so my code with them is Allie Yost. It's just my first and last name.

If you ever want to save it, check out with them. They are an amazing company to support. So we do have our Christ. We have our Bible here. I will be reading the New Living Translation. So as we're referring back to scripture in this episode, that is the translation that I read. And last but not least, we have our coffee on ice. And it's pumpkin spice again.

So we do have our coffee on ice. And actually also one more thing I do want to say, as my child has so patiently sat here in every episode since I've announced it. My book, you guys, this is my book. And the reason I'm shouting it out right now, too, is just because we're going to be. We are getting so much closer to actual launch day. I've mentioned my book a lot, but we're still kind of in pre-order season. And I also just want to thank everybody who has been so, let me, can I just say something? Okay, I was having a call with my team just a few days ago.

And they are like blown away by you guys. They're like, Allie, your followers are like the best. I'm like, no, you don't have to tell me that. I know. Like, please, you don't have to tell me twice. You guys are the best people I've ever met. I have said that so many times and I'll say that until I'm, blue in the face. You guys, your support and the way that you believe in me means so much.

So thank you to the people who have taken the time to pre-order the book. We also have an audio book version that is coming out. I recorded that and I'm super excited for that. I feel like I kept you guys in mind specifically because I was like, surely, we spent so much time together over here on the podcast that I just would imagine a lot of you guys would also be hanging out with me for the audiobook version as well. So that will also be available. And yeah, it goes live. It'll be in stores November 3rd. Just insane to me. Insane. Scariest thing I've ever done, but also most exciting thing I've ever done. And I'm already like, do I write another book? I don't know. I don't know. It was a lot of work. Like writing a book is literally no joke at all, you guys.

I have been humbled through the process of this. But I'm also like, do I write another one? I don't know. It's just fun. It is fun. It is really rewarding once the product is like a physical thing, you know? I think through the process, it doesn't feel like it's real until it's a real thing. And then you're like, oh my gosh, it's real. You know, anyway, okay, moving on. Are we ready, guys?

Are you ready to jump into this episode? I am. Let's talk about envy. Let's talk about being jealous of other people. Let's talk about the reality of what that actually feels like. And let's all admit that we've felt it, you know? whether it's something you've recently felt or you've felt in the past, you can't lie, you've definitely felt the feeling of jealousy. I think as I was kind of already saying in our intro,

the telling sign that you could be feeling a sense of jealousy is when, again, we've seen something in somebody else's life. And instead of our first, like our first natural instinct, our first reaction in that moment, if it's not joy for that person and you kind of get this weird sinking feeling in your tummy, that's a good indicator that there is comparison happening and that jealousy could be creeping its head up in your heart. And I feel like there's also another feeling that comes with that, you know, where it's like you see the thing, you get the gut feeling. But it's almost as if like because that person received something good that maybe you've been hoping for, it also kind of feels like that something was taken away from you. Like,

does that make sense? Like, for whatever reason, when that gut feeling has happened to me, it almost feels like I'm being robbed. Or like, because they're getting it, that means that I'm not getting it. And for whatever reason, in that sinking gut feeling of jealousy and in comparison, it feels as if because that person got it, you never will. Or like, it lessens your chances of getting that thing. Or maybe even like confirms a fear in your mind. Like that very thing is now translating as confirmation in your mind that you're never going to get that thing. Or it's further away than you think it is. I think the first thing to do that would be really productive is to actually define what envy is. And after doing a little bit of research on this too, because I feel like in my

mind, I've always classified envy and jealousy as like the same thing. They are very closely related, but there are two distinct differences between the two. I think that if we were to really define what jealousy is, it is fear of losing something you already possess, which is interesting. And so an example that just comes to my mind is maybe there's a certain person who's in your life, maybe you have a best friend and they start spending a lot of time with another person who is not you and they start getting really close with another person and so maybe that feeling isn't necessarily envy but you know for sure that you're feeling jealous because whatever is happening now in your mind it's actually jeopardizing something that you already have which is a really

close relationship with that person. And so in your mind, you're like, oh, no, like this is actually a threat to what I already have, which is a really, like, I love this person. I love our connection. I love how close we are. And so now there's this other dynamic that's come into their life. And you kind of get jealous because you're like, wait, are you about to take away the thing that's already mine? It's fear of losing something you already possess. Okay. Envy, it's a little deeper. And envy actually, I think can, it can be a little evil because the fruit that actually comes from envy are really heavy, nasty things like resentment, okay? Sadness, of course, but discontent because someone else possesses something that you desire. And so that's the major difference between jealousy and envy is, obviously jealousy is fear of losing something you already have. And then envy is honestly like resentment, bitterness, anger. Okay, but all of those nasty fruits that come from the fact that you don't have that very thing, that you haven't, you don't possess the thing you desire yet. And it's interesting because biblically, envy becomes specifically dangerous because it can make another person's blessing feel like evidence of our deprivation.

Envy can become such, it can really erode, I think, our faith in God. I think it can erode our perception of him and the way that we experience him and see him because it actually immediately threatens the way that we see God as provider, right? And as somebody who says that he is faithful and that he considers us, right? And that he has us in the palm of his hands. And so when envy enters the room, it actually really does cause a wedge between our belief in God and who he says it is. And I think that when we are envious, it actually does reveal maybe a lot of ways that we see God. Because I believe that when envy enters the equation, it actually really is

revealing a false belief system that we could be going by that's deep down in us that maybe we didn't even realize. But there's a root to that. And when the Bible describes envy as being something evil, maybe our first reaction in that is like, that sounds kind of harsh. Like, okay, well, so because I've felt envious of people, it means I'm an evil person. But again, we got to look at the fruit of what that very thing produces. And if it's not producing the same fruit that comes from the spirit of God, like patience, joy, kindness, it's slow to anger, right? Like all of those things that come with the fruit of the spirit, self-control, if it's not those things, then it's evil. Like, it actually is that black and white. And so the voice of envy, the thing that makes it so dangerous, too,

is that it takes something that God did for somebody else and then somehow makes it about what he hasn't done for you. And so again, it's causing a wedge of the way that you see God as your father, you know, as your protector and provider. And so anything that's going to cause a wedge like that between you and God is a threat and could absolutely be considered evil. And I think that if we really want to avoid falling into envy. I think that the gateway to that, like the little, like the door that's just opened a crack that then, you know, it's eventually swung open and an invitation for envy is comparison. Like, I think that that's actually the very thing that leads us into envy because comparison really does quickly take, you know, a simple question of like, okay, what is God doing in my life?

and it'll actually flip that question into a tone that's more like, why isn't God doing for me what he's doing for them? And we've talked a lot about the parts of social media that are really hard. And it's ironic, obviously, considering what I do too. It's such a love-hate relationship where, like, I do love social media for so many reasons. I love how much we can connect with other people, especially when it comes to the body of Christ. I love how much we obviously can learn from the internet, but there's also a lot of downsides to it as well. None of us are strangers to the fact that social media can be a real trigger for something like this, where it's like, you know, we're scrolling and we're seeing people's engagements,

their pregnancies, the careers that are, you know, the promotions, things that are happening for everybody else, you know, and it can be such a slippery slope of falling into something like comparison and envy. And so then suddenly with every scroll that we're taking on our phones, we're keeping score, you know, of like all the things that are working out for everybody else. And for whatever reason, it doesn't feel like any of those things are happening for us. And so we look at God and we actually start to have a lot of bitterness and resentment towards him. And we are keeping score where we're like, okay, God, well, here's the list of all the things that I've noticed you're doing for literally everyone else. why do you not care about me right why do i feel so ignored and neglected by you because look

these are all the things you're doing for every what are you doing for me a real you know question that we could even ask ourselves and and who knows i don't know what your answer would be but i think personally like if i didn't have to always see everybody else's lives i wouldn't feel the temptation of comparison and envy so quickly because i'd have nothing to compare Like, if it wasn't for the fact that we have the opportunity to compare ourselves to anybody at any second in any day, like, would we still be dissatisfied with our lives if we couldn't see everybody else's? I don't know. I feel like the answer to that would probably be no, or maybe not as much. It definitely doesn't make things better. It doesn't help. And it's interesting,

actually, right from the get-go in the beginning of the Bible in Genesis. It's actually in chapter four where we see a dynamic between two brothers who came from Adam and Eve and these brothers names were Kane and Abel. And unfortunately, the dynamic between these two brothers changed and it was no longer as if they were brothers, but now there was like this weird competitive factor that had entered their relationship, specifically in Kane towards Able. So, you know, just to summarize the story a little bit, what Cain was seeing in Abel's life, he was seeing the way that God actually favored Abel. And instead of examining his own heart before God, his anger actually becomes directed toward

Abel. And so there was like this injustice in Cain where he was feeling like all of his hard work to God was not being recognized in the same way that God was recognizing Abel. And instead of slowing down and using wisdom and being like, all right, I'm feeling. these things towards my brother. Why? You know, Lord, examine my heart. What's going on here? Like, I'm starting to look at my brother in a way that's different and I'm getting really bitter and I'm kind of getting like quick to being angry and snappy with him. And I don't want to be as kind to him. And I don't know, I just get this sinking feeling in my stomach whenever I see him just, even sometimes when he's doing nothing, I resent him. I feel angry for whatever reason.

instead of doing that he continues to direct his anger towards abel and what's interesting is even god in this moment actually does warn kane and this is in genesis four seven where god says to kane he says sin is crouching at the door but you must rule over it and if you know the story um kane ends up actually murdering his brother abel over it which is super sad because this was the first time in human history that murder was introduced. And it's, yeah, it's, it's very sad because it obviously didn't take long for us to act on something like this. But what's interesting is that, and maybe it's obvious for a lot of us now, but at the time, removing Abel didn't actually repair Kane's relationship with God or fix anything. Like the anger and frustration and whatever self-righteousness that Kane felt to justify

taking Abel's life, it didn't work. Sometimes we think the person we're envious of is the source of our pain. But if they disappear tomorrow, the insecurity that made us envy them would still be there. And so, yeah, I think what God was even trying to warn Kane and a way that this story can continue to minister to us is that I think a lot of times we want to make that very person in in our minds at least the enemy and like the source of the problem when if we were really honest with ourselves and we sat at the feet of the lord and we said okay god examine my heart because i have a feeling that it's actually not this person's fault at all i don't know if they're the problem i think it's just easier for us to do that to justify what we're feeling but the truth is is like

even if that person was completely removed from the situation okay if that was a person that was in your life or it is in your life. Like them being taken out of your life or if for whatever reason, they were wiped off the earth, as unfortunately Kane did to his brother, it doesn't take away those feelings. It doesn't fix things. And I think that the other really sad part about envy, which I think is what actually breaks my heart the most about this specific sin, is that it can make us secretly want someone's blessings to diminish, which is really, really heartbreaking. And that's why it's evil. Because that is not the heart of Christ. That's not the heart that we're supposed to have towards anybody is because of our envy, we actually wish that they would have

less of it. And here's the thing. It could be whether you believe that the person is deserving of it or not. Okay. Maybe there is a motivator in your heart of just like, you know, maybe you have a bit of a justice meter where you're like that person doesn't even deserve it but also like it goes back to scripture where it says who is actually the judge like we are not one to judge anybody that's for god to decide so if you feel in your heart that it's like really unfair and it's not just that this this person is so less deserving okay but you're not the judge of that right and i think that if any of us at any point have felt the feeling of envy if there's a question that we could ask ourselves of, you know, if that very thing that that person had disappeared tomorrow, would some

part of you feel relieved? And if the answer is yes, ew, we got to get rid of that. Right? I know. It sucks. Like, it's not, we're not obviously proud of it. But yeah, if that is, if there is a part of you that's like, who, okay, I feel better now. Oh, no. Oh, no. We need to repent. And we need to ask the Lord to like rip that out of us. What's interesting too is like envy can appear in so many different ways. It doesn't even have to be in the sense of like wanting somebody's entire life. Like to be envious doesn't mean that you are always wanting that person's exact life. Sometimes envy says, I just don't want you to have that much more than me.

James 316 actually says for where jealousy and selfish ambition exists, there will be disorder and every vile practice. actually let's go to that James you're such a stinking genius James where are you bud all right let's start at the top a little bit because I also just want to like read what's around that

so we're in James chapter 3 verse 13 so we're just going up a few verses it says if you are wise and understand God's ways prove it by living an honorable life doing good works with the humility that comes from wisdom but if you are bitterly jealous and there is selfish ambition in your heart, don't cover up the

truth with boasting and lying. For jealousy and selfishness are not God's kind of wisdom. Such things are earthly, unspiritual, and demonic. If wherever there is jealousy and selfish ambition, there you will find disorder and evil of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first of all pure. It is also peace-loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It is full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It shows no favoritism

and is always sincere. And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness. I love that and I love that James shows the contrast of the fruit. Are we seeing it? The difference of the fruit of something that comes from envy and jealousy versus the fruit that actually comes from the wisdom of God, the spirit of God. The wisdom from above is first of all pure. It's peace loving, gentle at all times, and willing to yield to others. It's full of mercy and the fruit of good deeds. It's always sincere. And so if that is not our first reaction to anything, really, but especially because this is what we're talking about today, the success of others or people getting things in their lives. I don't think that we need to obviously hide away

in shame and be really hard on ourselves. I think it's an opportunity to obviously just go deeper with the Lord and say, okay, this is an area of my life, God, that I need you. And I also think that there's a reason God allows the nasty, icky, gunky things in us to be revealed, right? Because if it wasn't for that. If it wasn't for the sanctification process of having really nasty things be revealed in us and, you know, there's a light that's put on it and God is like, hey, just so you know, that's in you. Like, if there wasn't that, like, we could never grow and become more like Christ, you know, so it is a gift. I know they can feel like really gross and again, there can be a bit of an instinct to react in shame, but it's actually in God's kind.

and he's not disappointed in us. If anything, he's like, hey, I want to reveal this to you because it's actually bondage and it's holding you back. You know, because if we think about what envy actually does to us internally, you know, like obviously I think envy on the outside probably has us do things that aren't awesome, where I believe that it can actually touch like a lot of different things in your life. I mean, if we're going to talk about sin in general, I mean, there's no way that sin is just going to affect one pocket of your life. Like if there's any sin in our lives, it's probably touching

on everything. Whether it's in a subtle way, we don't notice or what, but like it's, it doesn't just stop at one place. Like, it wants to consume everything and tarnish everything, right? So, yeah, I've talked about fear before because I'm like, fear, oh my gosh, if we let fear rule our lives, it affects every part of us, internally, externally, and I think the same for envy. But if you think about it, like envy really does put us in bondage internally, though, too, because I don't think that you can have peace and be envious at the same time. I don't think that you can fully trust God and feel envy at the same time, right? So there's just, as long as envy is actually occupying our hearts, there's a lot of things that your heart no longer has room for. And that's bondage. You know,

that's a weight to carry and it's not a weight that God wants us to carry for multiple reasons, obviously because it affects us internally. And he wants to see all of us walk in freedom through his spirit and his truth and his word. But also it burdens him because it affects others. You know, our sin actually does have an impact on other people. We've talked about that too, that it's not just the choices we make that affect us and our world internally, but it also affects a lot of people around us. And there is a rippling effect to our sin, you know? And I think that that was shown to us right from the get-go in Genesis. How one choice to go against the way that God has designed us to live, it does have a domino effect.

And the result can be pretty devastating because it ends up becoming a lot bigger than we thought was just an innocent little thing. And I want to talk about the perspective of also like, because I kind of touched on this, right, is like maybe you actually think that what you're feeling is justice, you know, where you're like, no, I just have a really strong justice meter. Like I just, I feel really convicted and deeply burdened about what is right and wrong. And it is not right that this person is getting all of these things, okay? And it can look and feel like discernment. And something that I think we need to be willing to admit when we do sit down and reflect on that feeling is, is there success actually triggering something in me?

Because even as we discern through the Holy Spirit on whether things are right or not, there is such thing as like a righteous frustration and anger that we can get from the Holy Spirit. But when we feel that it shouldn't be triggering anything in us. You know what I mean? And so when their success actually triggers something in us, it turns into us starting to find reasons why they don't deserve it. And you start saying things, whether it's in your head or to other people, like they're probably not actually happy. They're obsessed with attention. Their relationship isn't even that good. They're not that talented.

I don't think what they're doing is even biblical. And here's a thing. Like there absolutely are legitimate reasons to discern someone's behavior. That is, I think, a job of ours in the body of Christ is to always discern people's motives and to hopefully gain insight from the Holy Spirit of what those motives are and to be aware of people's behaviors, right? Especially if they are somebody who claims to represent Christ and is a Christian. But a good heart check in a situation like this is, would this bother me if they weren't succeeding? It's a simple question, right?

And like one thing that I've been sharing with you guys that I've been loving is just allowing my brain to explore the layers underneath maybe every thought or every feeling or every revelation that I have. Right. But like there's always an opportunity to go even deeper and ask another question. And so in this case, like let's say that, you know, you do start to feel this feeling of envy. I think a question that you could ask yourself is like, what am I actually grieving? Because that is what it's, there's a sense of grief where, again, you're feeling like something is being robbed of you, something is being taken away from you. And so I think a healthy way instead of falling down the rabbit hole of shame for feeling envy. Because the temptations will calm, y'all.

Like that it's just, it is what it is. And so instead of listening to the voice of shame and being really hard on yourself for allowing yourself to feel. envy, really ask yourself questions or ask that feeling a question. And the truth is, is like, envy also sucks too because it's like wildly exposing. Like Kane, as an example, if he was willing to take a step back and like actually ask the question of like, okay, wait a minute, what am I actually grieving because this feels like grief? Like I feel like anger and resentment because I feel like something is actually being taken away from me. Why? But that's like such an exposing thing to do. It's way easier for us to maybe point fingers or find excuses or reasons instead of being honest

and reflecting and being like, okay, what is it that I'm actually feeling? And where is that coming from? And the reason why envy is so exposing is because when you ask that question, the very next thing that could be revealed is like, well, I just desperately want to be married. That's why I got that feeling when I saw that this person was engaged or that they got married and they had this beautiful wedding and they only got married after six months of knowing each other and I'm still here at the age of blank waiting right like that's like such a vulnerable and exposing thing to be like yep it's because I like just desperately want to be married like okay yeah I just want to yes of course of course I want a partner of course I want to share a life with somebody of course I want to build a family with

someone you know the thing that comes up when asking that question could be like I feel overlooked by God I feel overlooked by people I don't feel beautiful enough I'm a that I'm falling behind. I thought that God would have given me this thing by now. I don't feel significant, right? Like those are all such heartbreaking things. And I have compassion for any of you guys who might be sitting in those feelings. And if I can have compassion for that without actually knowing you at all, just imagine how much the Lord has compassion for you. Like God has so much compassion for you. And the truth is, is like, when we feel these things and like this is, is like the icky thing that comes up out of us. It's places that God wants to actually comfort us

and give us a hug, you know? It's places that he actually, like his heart breaks for you and with you in those things. And I know that that can feel like really hard to believe because again, like, I don't know how long you've been sitting in this thing that you've been waiting for, right? And so it can be hard to believe that God actually loves you depending on how long you've been waiting for that thing. But I can tell you that he, he, his heart. breaks with you over those things. And this is just another thing where it's like, God's ways are way too vast for us to try to understand. And I know that that's like such a blanket statement where it's like, okay, yeah,

like we just can't understand the ways of God and we just got to like trust the process. But it can be really hard. You know, there are times where obviously we can feel so strong in our faith of God and really believe that he is a provider. And then sometimes when a certain amount of time has gone by, we're like, I don't, I don't know, God. Have you forgotten me? As you sit down with the Lord, like as you ask these questions, you should absolutely be doing it with the Holy Spirit. Do it with God because you're now shifting your sight from like that person's blessing to now your heart. And really being willing to kind of do like the ugly work with God.

And it's kind of given therapy, to be honest, because this is all therapy is too. It's looking inward and being willing to do the work. and like face the really ucky, like, grimy, icky things in us that we're not super proud of. But God so eagerly wants to sit with you in those things. And it's in those moments, believe it or not, where you are going to receive so much healing and relief and peace. You may not receive the answer. You know, you might not hear the audible voice of God saying, this is why you haven't gotten that very thing yet. This is why things have been kind of hard, you know,

and this is why I'm bringing you through this. You might not get those answers, but I do have enough faith in God's love for you that he's going to sit with you in that moment and he's going to comfort you and he's not going to make you feel crazy. And he's going to say, hey, like, I understand. I love you. I'm here for you. And he can provide a peace that surpasses all understanding,

which means this is a piece that does not make sense, regardless of your circumstances, regardless of the way that, yeah, like anyone looking at your life, this is the thing that I think I would admire and have. I've met people like this. And it's something that I admire so deeply about a person is like looking at their life, looking at their circumstances. And I'm not saying that you look at them and you're like, oh, wow, what was you? Like you pity them. But like you recognize the genuine hardship that they have had to face or are actively facing. and instead they choose joy. Instead, they choose Jesus.

Instead, they choose hope, you know, and peace in the Holy Spirit. Like, I'm like, the kind of strength and self-control and just like faithfulness to Jesus, I'm like, I admire that so much about a person. And I feel like you can sniff that out in a, actually, you don't even have to sniff it out. It's like all over them. when you meet a person who is genuinely content with Jesus and trusts him and you look at their life and you're like well uh to be honest i feel convicted because if i were you i'd be freaking out and you're not like a person where you're like honestly if i would give a pass to anybody

on like whether you should actually be bitter and upset and angry with god i would give it to you and they don't choose that route i'm like that is like supernatural right that's only something that you can get from God. And so again, like, this isn't something that you're going to be able to get yourself out of by yourself. This is not a pit that you have to, like, crawl out of on your own because the truth is, is like, it's not in our own strength that we can choose the fruits of the spirit without the spirit. Like, we need the spirit of God to reflect the fruits of the spirit. And so don't put any pressure on yourself that, like, now you got to get yourself out of the trenches of envy and you're the one that has to like rewire your brain and like it really is a

simple yes to god with sitting down with him and yes to examining your heart and i'm telling you like it's it's in that act alone of humility and faithfulness to the lord that you will start to realize that you are actually quicker to feeling peace and joy in those moments like you're being less triggered into envy and jealousy because you are now quicker to being humble at the feet of Jesus and saying, God, I trust you. I trust that you love me enough and that you're taking care of me. I trust that I am at the forefront of your mind as much as this other person is. And I think the only way to believe that more is to continue to spend time with God and to allow him to speak into your life and into your heart through scripture, other people. But yeah, I think that that's

only possible through his Holy Spirit. And I also think that like the biggest culprit too, and this could be the opportunity, right, where like there could be some some extra healing that you could dig into with Jesus is, I think the truth about envy too is it actually really does reveal this scarcity mindset that you could be living by regarding God. Because maybe subconsciously your mind is actually telling you that like because of somebody else's blessings, that now means that God has less available blessings for you. Which like what? Okay, we need to get our theology back in check. Don't we believe that God is vast? Don't we believe that he's

everlasting? He does not change, that he has more than enough. Like he's infinite. So if he's infinite, that means that his love for us is infinite, his forgiveness, the way that he provides, his mercy, all of it. There is no cap out of like, okay, well, he only has that. He only has that. He only has this amount per year. And so he's going to give this person this percentage, but that means that you're going to get a little less. Like what we got to get, we got to get our theology back on track. That sounds like a little enemy core to me. Who told you that? It goes back to Genesis 3, right? We're Adam and Eve. We're like naked in the garden. God goes, well, how did you know you guys were naked? Who told you that? Who told you that? Who told you that God's love for you is limited based on

all the kids that he's got to take care of. If I'm just going to publicly confess here to everybody, I think that the first feeling that I feel, like if envy ever does try to like peek its head or, or, you know, it's a temptation for me to go down. I really, I'm so grateful to God,

though, that like I don't, I don't really struggle with envy as much as I used to. I think that I used to struggle with envy in comparison. And again, like, just, I mean,

when I was in the world, before I really knew Jesus, like my only motivator was, like proving myself. And so to prove yourself means that you're also probably comparing yourself to everybody else. And then you're envious when other people succeed because you're just working, working, working, working, working, trying to prove, prove, prove, prove, prove, make a name for yourself and show everybody that you're worth it and that, you know, you're good enough. And, hey, look at me. Like, I, I'm special. I mean something, you know, it's sad. It's like genuinely like a place of just

void of purpose and identity, okay? But I really don't struggle with it as much as I used to. And I'm like, thank you Jesus for that because it's an ugly feeling and it leaves you exhausted. And it makes you feel like you're like, honestly, poop on the bottom of somebody's shoe. It does not make you feel good. But something that I, that would really trigger me in my envy, though, like the feeling and the statement that would happen within me is like somebody else's success was proof of my failure. Like that their calling immediately cancels mine out. So it was actually more of like a, you're not enough. See?

You're not enough. You're not worthy enough. See everything that you do, you still suck. Like it's condemning, it's evil, it's nasty, and it makes you want to just like crawl under a rock for the rest of your life. It makes you feel worthless. And so I think that that also maybe could be an indicator that you believe that everything is on you, which again, we are not putting God in his rightful place of provider,

sovereign over your life, right? Like that means that maybe we've taken control of the steering wheel because that version of Ali that I'm talking about right now, she was. at the driver's seat of her life. Like, God was not at the driver's seat of my life. If I needed things to happen and if I wanted to make a life for myself, it was completely, completely, I emphasize and put an underline because obviously there are things that we are supposed to do in life

in partnership with God to make things happen. We're not just supposed to sit back in our recliner and say, all right, God, if you want things to happen for my life, you do it. Like, no, it's a partnership, right? But, like, I'm saying it was just on me. Like, if that's the feeling that you feel sometimes, like old Ali did, there could be something in there too where you're like, oops, I've taken control of my life again.

I have forgotten that not everything is on me to make everything happen. And I'm forgetting to trust God that he actually cares about my life and wants to bring good things into my life, right? Not as a transactional way. We're like, that's the only way that we look at God, but you get it, right? And so if we've taken control the steering wheel of our lives, right? And we've now somewhere along the way accepted that everything is on us, envy treats God like he has a limited supply of goodness.

And so again, the only reason that we would ever get to that place of driver's seat is because we've allowed something to convince us that God is limited. Limited on his goodness, his faithfulness, right? His ability to make things move in your life. And so now you've gone, all right, God, I don't know, you're not doing it. And you're not doing it quick enough. So let me be my own God. Let me sit in the place that I have no right to sit in,

the shoes that are way too big for me to fill. And now we're telling God that we could do a better job. Yikes. Psalm 8411 actually says, For the Lord God is our son and our shield. He gives us grace and glory. The Lord will withhold no good thing from those who do what is right. Oh, Lord of Heaven's armies,

what joy for those who trust in you. It's actually verses 11 and 12. That doesn't mean God promises us every specific thing we desire. And that's honestly, wow, actually, I just got an idea. That's an episode in itself. It's just like believing that God will give us the things that we desire, but also understanding that he's probably not going to give us everything we desire and why.

I think that's worth a conversation. But just for the sake of staying on track here, that doesn't mean God promises us every specific thing we desire. But it means we don't have to interpret another person's blessing as evidence that God has forgotten us. So I think a great way to conclude this episode is like a problem solving moment here. Okay. We've now, we've identified what envy is. We've also identified what jealousy is. We've identified a few possibilities of roots of where those things could come from and how it really can actually be super exposing, how maybe we can even be avoidant that we want to just project it

or blame other things or people. We've covered all of that. But now the question is, so what do we actually do when we're envious. We've talked a lot about what it looks like to be at the feet of Jesus and repent and also ask him to examine our hearts and then continue to kind of go down those questions of like, all right, what's the root of the grief I'm feeling, right? And being honest in those moments with him about real fears or feelings of, you know, being neglected by him or whatever that looks like. So I think step one is naming it, right? And identifying the desire of what it is that you want, right? What is the desire underneath it? What does their life represent to you? I think another thing that would be really productive to follow those two steps is to bring that

desire to God. So again, now we're taking comparison and we're like flipping it on its head and now we're praying about that very thing to God. The next thing that we can do to overcome a feeling of envy is to practice gratitude in our own lives. Obviously, I know it feels like the The last thing we want to do is to get ourselves to be grateful about something when we're frustrated or we feel like something isn't coming through for us in our lives. But it is interesting. And I feel like it's been scientifically proven. Like even outside just what the Bible says, which is so cool when the Word of God is actually proven scientifically like low key.

Because it's like, okay, well, yeah, that makes sense because this is our creator talking to us. And he knows us better than any of us can know our self. and so it's just cool how much obviously he knows exactly how we operate because he made us. But I think it's been, I'll look it up, but I think it's been proven that like when we are, when we have a heart filled with gratitude, like when we decide to be grateful, it's actually really hard for anything else negative to fill that space in our heart. Like the truth is, is gratitude and envy struggle to occupy the same space. Envy fixates on what someone else has, while gratitude.

does the literal opposite, gratitude actually turns our attention toward what God has already given us. And so I feel like that's putting like water and oil together. It's just like they just will never successfully mix together because they are completely opposite things. You're looking at totally different things. A verse that I think also kind of shows this contrast is Philippians 4, 6 through 7. It says, do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. And so even in this verse, I feel like there's a contrast of like anxiousness.

And what the opposite of anxiousness really is is to go to the Lord in prayer with Thanksgiving. And what follows is the peace of God, which is the opposite of anxiety. Okay, guys, I looked up some statistics about gratitude. Can I read them to you? Gratitude interventions improve mental health. A systematic review slash meta-analysis of 64 randomized clinical trials found that gratitude practices were associated with better mental health, more positive emotions, and fewer symptoms of anxiety and depression.

It can affect the body too. In a randomized study of 119 women, just two weeks of gratification, of gratitude practice. It was associated with better sleep quality, greater optimism and well-being, and lower diolastic blood pressure. Okay, there's also evidence of lasting differences in brain activity. So in people receiving psychotherapy for anxiety and or depression, those who also did gratitude letter writing showed greater gratitude-related activity in the medial prefrontal cortex three months later. That's a brain region involved in processes, including valuation and social cognition. Research has found that intentionally practicing gratitude can

increase positive emotion and is associated with decreases in anxiety and depressive symptoms. So when envy has us obsessing over what someone else has, gratitude deliberately redirects our attention toward what we've already been given. And so I just think it's really cool that the practice of Thanksgiving and gratitude, even outside of the Bible, people, no matter their belief system can and have to recognize that it shifts our mindset and it really does actually have a positive effect on us mentally, spiritually, physically. And so when we redirect our gratitude and our Thanksgiving to God, who is our source of all good things, he knows what he's talking about when he tells us to do that, to replace our envy with things like gratitude and Thanksgiving.

The next thing that I think is really crucial after gratitude and acknowledging all the ways that the Lord is in your life is blessing the person you're tempted to envy. This is one of the hardest parts of it, but if you really feel like you've released envy in that moment with Jesus, it's not as hard as you think. Like once you've really released it, it's actually really beautiful. It's a beautiful experience to be able to sit there and say, God, I actually bless this person. And I think that's us actively practicing humility too, is just choosing to genuinely love the person in that moment when your flesh and your instinct and everything else in you wanted to actually do the opposite. And then lastly, I think celebrating that very person intentionally.

I think that would be another really productive step to get out of envy. It's to actually pray for the person, bless them, and celebrate them. Because it says in Romans 1215, to rejoice with those who rejoice. So it's actually very biblical. And so I think one of the greatest signs that God, has freed your heart from comparison is when somebody else can receive the thing you've been praying for and you can still genuinely rejoice with them. And it is such a freeing feeling, you guys. When you feel it, a lot of you already might know what I'm talking about. You know the feeling, right?

It's like, the one thing that used to really trigger you is now no longer triggering you. And you're like, wait a minute, I actually feel so at peace. Like, that didn't affect me. That didn't make me, like, hot inside. Like, I'm fine. I'm actually, like, really happy for them. That's that's when you know that God has actually freed your heart from comparison and it is it's freeing when that bondage of comparison goes it is so freeing for your spirit all right you guys well I'm really proud of you thanks for being willing to sit through this um kind of awkward and uncomfortable topic today but I am really proud of you guys for your humility and if this inspired you to go sit with the Lord about some things do it do it um it's honestly going to be so much more fruitful

for you than you think. And it might be really uncomfortable and confronting in the beginning, but it's in his love that he really wants to free you from comparison or envy, if it's even something that you've been dealing with lately, you know. But it's still all good to know, just in case in the future, for whatever reason, it's a tempting thing, you know. And again, I think with social media and everything else that we have to see, I mean, everyone's lives are being thrown in our faces all the time, whether they are actually accurate depictions of their life or not. Because, you know, we've talked about image and all of that and how most of social media isn't even true. And so we don't even know what we're actually comparing ourselves to. And it's just a waste of our time. It really is. It's a

waste of our time and our energy. And you deserve to be free from comparison and the weight that comes with envy. So, hey, I love you guys. I'll see you so soon. Thank you for joining us for another episode. Before we go, though, can we do something really cool today? Can we show somebody how cool Jesus is. Can we walk more like him, talk more like him, be more like Jesus today? I love you guys. I'll see you next time. Bye.