Christ With Coffee On Ice - when correction becomes criticism

Episode Date: August 28, 2026

Hey y'all ! Welcome to another Friday with CWCOI ! In this week's episode, our host, Ally Yost talks about criticism and how easy it is to critique others online. As the body of Christ, we are called to correct each in a way that is caring and loving. So let's further break down the difference between genuinely calling each other higher through discernment from the Holy Spirit and simply criticizing. "You can identify them by their fruit, that is, by the way they act." Matthew 7:16 _____________________________________________ ☆ PRE-ORDER 'LOVE THAT LASTS' HERE: https://allyyost.com/en-usd/pages/book ☆ OUR NEW MERCH IS LIVE! SHOP AT: https://allyyost.com ☆ Find your purpose at Grand Canyon University ➤ GCU.edu ☆ Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at ➤ mintmobile.com/CWCOI ☆ Get 15% off Branch Basics with the code CWCOI at http://branchbasics.com/CWCOI #branchbasicspod #ad ☆ MY BIBLE (code 'ALLYYOST' at checkout) ➤ https://hosannarevival.com/collections/beautiful-bibles/products/nlt-notetaking-bible-belfast-theme ☆ TUMBLER LINK ➤ https://allyyost.com/products/cwcoi-glass-tumbler-white _____________________________________________ Connect further with us ! TikTok ➤ https://www.tiktok.com/@christwithcoffeeonice  Instagram ➤ https://instagram.com/christwithcoffeeonice  _____________________________________________ Connect further with Ally ! TikTok (2M) ➤ https://www.tiktok.com/@ally_yost  Instagram ➤ https://www.instagram.com/ally_yost/  ShopMy ➤ https://shopmy.us/allyyost  Pinterest ➤ https://www.pinterest.com/ally_yost1/_created/

Hello, everybody. Welcome to another episode of Christ with coffee on ice. I am your host, Ellie Yost. It is a joy and honor to be here with you guys today. Happy Friday, everybody. Happy Friday. This is so fun that we've been hanging out so much just two days later. And I honestly am so excited to talk about today's episode because I think that it is very real for a lot of us in this generation with consuming so much online and so much of Christianity becoming a trend online, which is awesome. And we talked a lot about that in our last episode. And so today's episode is actually very much inspired from our last episode, but I am excited to take this angle and to talk about the realness of this, which is the fact that because the internet exists and social media exists, there are so many ways.

that we can reach people in a way that is like instant, so quick. We can spread the good news in seconds worldwide. We said this in the last episode, but like anybody like Paul or the disciples who walked with Jesus would probably be in absolute awe at how quickly we are able to reach so many people about the good news of the gospel and about Jesus. And so all of that is awesome. But in the same way, we can actually critique, call out, and pick apart the body of Christ in a way that was never available prior to social media. And so I want to talk about the realness because I know we're all seeing it.

I know we all see it. We all see the Christians who are online, which I'm not villainizing them. That's not the message today. if you've seen anybody who has claimed to be a Christian and identifies as a Christian and is calling other Christians out in the name of calling them higher or being discerning, I'm not necessarily saying that those people are bad. I'm not villainizing them. I'm not even saying in all cases it's wrong because it is actually biblical that as a body of Christ we are too loving correct each other and call each other higher and speak life into each other in a way that is

correcting but loving and caring because that is how the Holy Spirit corrects us every single day, right? Conviction through the Holy Spirit is real, but it also is always done in love. And so I am not preaching a gospel today that excludes that. That's very biblical. It's very much a part of the walk that we are called to do. And that is a way to love each other. well. And so I'm not villainizing those people, but there are ways that I have seen this be done online that I think is actually really harmful. And I would love to talk about the tension between genuinely calling each other higher and using discernment from the Holy Spirit and simply criticizing and critiquing and kind of acting like Pharisees. And the truth is, is we all have a little

bit of Pharisee in all of us. Okay. So none of us are exempt of this. Whether you do it online publicly or you do it in your head, we are all guilty of having a little bit of a Pharisee in all of us. Let's talk about the criticism that we're seeing within the body of Christ, about the body of Christ. Because here's the thing, we see a lot of criticism from outside of the church, for sure. And even on the inside of the church to the outside of the church and then in the church to the church, there's criticism everywhere, okay? Because it's just what we do as humans, unfortunately, as we criticize and we get a little self-righteous and we get a little prideful. And so let's differentiate the two, okay? Here's the thing.

Okay, I actually heard this. I believe I heard this from the Holy Spirit the other day is a lot of times I am so fearful that I will be that person. Like, again, I'm not saying I haven't had a little bit of Pharisee alive in my heart sometimes, and I've had to repent and throw that back at the feet of Jesus every single time and be like, oh, God, I'm so sorry, I'm doing it. I'm acting like, I'm, okay, I got to get that. Like, in my mind, sometimes I'll be, and it's gross, right? And I'll be able, I recognize it, and I'm like, ew. So, again, I'm not off limits to this. I don't think any of us are, but my biggest fear is being a Pharisee. I never. never want to be a Pharisee. I never want to be the kind of person that starts critiquing people, especially, like not even just people in the church, but also like people outside of the church. I don't ever want to look at people in a way that isn't through the eyes of Jesus himself. Like, I want to be able to look at every single person the way that Jesus sees them. Because I also, especially if we're talking about people who maybe are new to their faith or people who don't know Jesus yet,

this is just a little bit of a side tangent like my POV is I just know that if I ever become critical of those kinds of people, I am a hypocrite because there could have been so many people who could have been probably critiquing and criticizing me the same way before I knew Jesus when I was early in my faith too and I didn't really know everything yet. And so my biggest fear is to be a critiquer. I don't want to critique people. And so what I had heard from the Holy Spirit though a few days ago is I think it is a really good sign that if it is your biggest fear to become something and you're like, I never want to be this kind of person. God, am I being this kind of person? Am I being critical? Am I, I don't want to be a Pharisee. Am I doing too much of this? I can bet you like 99% I'm certain that you're not a

Pharisee then. If your biggest fear is blank, you're probably not that because that wasn't the biggest fear of the Pharisees at the time, like they just were what they were. And there was no fear of being that because they were so stuck in their ways. They were so self-righteous. They were so prideful. They were so arrogant that they couldn't even see past that to be like, oh, I hope I'm not being arrogant. You get what I'm saying? So if anything, let the fear fall right now. If you are afraid that you are that kind of person, there's a good chance that you're probably not. If that is something that genuinely fears you where you're like, God, I don't ever want to be that person, you're probably not because you already have the self-awareness where you're like, I don't want to be that. Take that

with a grain of salt, okay? But I am excited for the conviction that the Lord is going to bring to all of us today in this episode. Before we get into it, obviously we have our Christ. Where is it? Christ. I have all my little props. Usually, actually, usually my Bible is to my left of me, but lately I've been putting it to my right because we have my sweet little, my sweet little daughter right here. my book and then we have the coffee on ice. But okay, we have our Christ. Okay, we have our Word of God. We have the Bible, which we will be referring to in today's episode. And we have our coffee on ice. Okay. So to those of you who are joining me with your coffee, yay. Okay. Let's do it, guys. I'm really excited for today's episode. First things first to open up this conversation,

because that's what today, I really want today to be a conversation. I think the truth is, is I'm hoping and praying that a majority of everything that I say today is, true, I might be bringing in my own personal convictions and opinions into today's episode. So I want you guys to take some of the stuff that I say with a grain of salt. I'll disclaim maybe if something is coming from a personal conviction of mine versus it actually being like legitimately stated in the Bible. But that is something I want to talk about today too is I think a lot of the things that I'm seeing online when it comes to this pocket of the church of us like calling each other higher or or criticizing or discerning or whatever is I think the lines are getting blurry of what is actually

biblical, like where we're calling people out online and being like, hey, that's not biblical versus calling people out based on our own personal convictions. Because I've seen that too, where I'm like, I see what you're saying. My brother or sister, I understand where you're coming from. but I feel like that's more of a personal conviction rather than something that needs to be like publicly called out about and masked in a really big statement of this isn't biblical. I think there's a difference between those two things too. So I'd love to talk about that.

But I think the thing that I am seeing a lot of is I am seeing a lot of justification of calling Christians out. And I'm not even talking about this because I've fallen victim to this. I know that this has probably happened to me. I've seen a couple of videos, yes, of people calling me out. But I really try to keep my eyes off of that stuff. It's more so I'm seeing this done a lot to each other. Like I'm not even speaking from a place of I'm a victim and everyone's attacking me. Like, sure, whatever.

I mean, I'm in the public eye. I'm online preaching the gospel. obviously with that territory comes people disagreeing with some of the things that I say or the ways that I live my life with Jesus. That's okay. It's expected. But that's not my heart in this. That's not the motivation in this. The motivation in today's episode is that I am seeing other Christians constantly calling other Christians out publicly and I don't always agree with it. And I think that the truth is, is sometimes that is more damaging than this. the church than we are curating it to be.

I think that in a lot of ways we are blanketing it in a statement of, well, we are supposed to call each other higher. And it is biblical to call, you know, our brothers and sisters in Christ higher. And if you're going to be public online, making public videos, then it's right to make public responses. And I think, again, maybe this is just a personal conviction. take everything I'm about to say with a grain of salt, bring it back to the Holy Spirit. I'm fine with that.

I'm totally okay with that. I personally think that unless the person is causing serious damage, and I mean serious damage, where they are like completely speaking against scripture, like 180 from what scripture is saying, preaching a false, tainted opposite gospel of what Jesus calls. calls us to do. Like, it is blatantly against the red letters of which Jesus speaks to in the word of God. And they are, like, adamant to that. They're prideful. They're arrogant about it. They're not open to correction. And this is kind of bleeding into a lot of the things we mentioned in Wednesday's episode, where it really does take discernment with the Holy Spirit on who we are

going to give spiritual authority in our minds and our hearts too, especially online people that we don't personally know. But like it's the fruit of that person's ministry, I guess you could say. I don't know. But the person's content of which they're making, okay, to really examine the fruit of what they're doing online, how they live their lives and how they're preaching. But I think if a person is so blatantly being so blasphemous, like it is so damaging to the body of Christ and they're being arrogant they're being stubborn they're not open to correction like there's no humility right we talked about that on Wednesday but like I think the best fruit to see in anybody who's preaching the gospel or sharing their life with Jesus online

is do they have real humility where they are open to correction and then they change if those things turn out to be like wildly against the gospel. But I think that in that case, yeah, yeah, we need to be debunking, calling out. Like, if this person is not open to loving correction from the body of Christ and they are doing serious damage to the name of which it means to be a Christian, the name of Jesus himself, like, yeah, I personally think in that case, we absolutely should be publicly calling people out or higher if that's the scenario. But I think, unfortunately, I'm seeing a trend where it is become controversial. There's been a shock factor.

There's a little bit of a to people calling other Christians out over things that I don't even think are, I really think we got to pick and choose our battles here, y'all. Like we can't be calling people out publicly over things that I just, I really think they're small potatoes. An example I could use is sometimes people will have deep convictions about whether they should follow trends that are happening in the world and like put, we see this all the time in the body of Christ online, okay, all the time. I've done stuff like this where as a church, we've done.

taken like very worldly trends and like flipped it on its head and made it about Jesus. I personally love that stuff. I love that stuff. I love it. Like anything that's about like prosperity or, um, you know, self exalting, like, like trends like that and then we flip it on its head and we're like, actually it's about Christ, I eat that stuff up. I love it.

I love it. Because that's the truth, right? is like the truth of being a Christian is like taking all the way and I love it so much because I'm like oh I see the ways that like old Ali would have loved those trends and she was so blind to how empty all of that stuff was and it's just so fun to like have sight through the Holy Spirit and you know the fogginess of the ways that I saw the world and myself and success and the ways that I saw thriving and like you really made it if like all of the ways that I used to see those things are so different now that Jesus has given me like real sight I love that stuff I love it but there are some people that

don't agree you know because there's that scripture of like we are not to be of the world but we are supposed to be different from the world we're supposed to be set apart and I think that's even bled into like whether we should be creative as Christians in the same way that the world is creative. That could go into music too, right? Some people have been really critical of certain genres of which people have created music but glorified Jesus through it versus music that's similar to that in the world or maybe has even inspired those people from worldly influence but they've made it about Jesus and so sometimes people don't love that where they're like, no, this isn't Jesus is holy. Okay. Jesus is perfect.

there needs to be reverence and fear of the Lord. And so again, I'm not villainizing those people. I actually genuinely, I see their point. And in some cases I agree, but in some cases I don't. Where I'm like, I don't know. I mean, the thing is, it's like, we are created by someone who is called the creator with a capital C, which means that he has literally invented creativity and creation. And so in a lot of ways, I feel like as Christians, we get really scared of looking, quote, too much like the world.

But we're like letting the world have all of creativity while also not allowing us to be creative the same way. But instead, like the heart is about Jesus. And I believe that's how it was always supposed to be. But instead we like let the world have those things of creativity. Again, take this with a grain of salt. There are some things in the world that like, no, that's not. never going to glorify Jesus, right? But there are some things of the world that I think genuinely is like, ah, that's so beautiful. And if that only shook hands with Jesus, it'd be like,

it would be holy, in my opinion. Is what I'm saying making any sense to anybody? I really hope so. But anyway, yeah, sometimes I'm like, I don't agree with that. I don't agree with that. I get that there are some things that we are doing as Christians that might be influenced by people in the world. But I actually think it's really beautiful to take art like that and then give it its actual like color, vibrancy, purpose, weight, weight of Jesus, you know? Like taking creativity and bringing the creator into it. I think that's the most beautiful marriage you could ever make. And so, yeah, I love an aesthetic.

I love Pinterest. I told you guys that in the last episode. I love Pinterest. I love fashion. I love aesthetic. I love being a girl. I love colors. And I love trends.

I love trends. And I think all of that stuff is so fun because it's what makes us human, which is also what makes us like such vessels of God and the Holy Spirit and a reflection of who he is. right? Because like if it's true that we believe that God made us in his image, it means that we also create. Like he creates. And so I think all that stuff is so fun. Okay. And I think that those are parts of the pleasures of life that God wants us to have fun with. And so again, if there are people out there, if there are Christians who don't agree with that, and they're like, no, sorry, I can't, I can't jump on the trends that the world is doing and then just like put Jesus on it like he's a brand or

he's an aesthetic. Hey, I get it. I respect it. And I do believe that there is a line, I think, where it's like, I really think it comes down to heart posture. And, you know, we mentioned this on Wednesday, but I think a lot of times, I don't know if we really know, the genuine heart posture of each person who's creating online. You know, I think a lot of us would love to hope that with merging creativity and trends that maybe is influenced from the world and Jesus, it comes from a pure heart, but sometimes it could come from a place of, uh, you know, seeing things of the world and then just stamping Jesus on it and being like, yep, and now it's Christian. Unfortunately, that exists too, right? I don't think we'll ever really truly know the depths of which

a person's heart is set on. We won't be able to always, especially with it being online. We're not always going to be able to know, um, the purity of someone's heart. But I, I really think that it does come down to heart posture, whether that person is creating from a place of genuinely loving Jesus and wanting the gospel to be put out and also loving to create. I believe that's my heart. In creating everything that I do online, I'm like, ah, this is so fun, God, and I love you. And like, that's, that's all I want to do, you know? In my biggest prayer, and I think that this should be all of our prayers every single time is say, okay, God, I really want to create this thing. I think this is such a cool idea.

I'm actually feeling really inspired by people who don't even know you. And that's real because, like, they were still created by God. So we can still be inspired by people who may not know Jesus because they were created by God. And so they were still created in his image. They were still created with this deep longing to be creative and expressive, right? Because that's who God is. And so I think it's worth going to God and being like, all right, Lord,

I have this idea. I was inspired by this person. They technically don't know you. That's okay. I love them. I love their talent. I love what they're doing. I love their brain.

I really want to do this. But I also really want to honor you in it, God. Just examine my heart. I just want to make, you know, and if that's something you want to be cautious of every time you create, cool. Bring it to the feet of Jesus and say, Lord, am I pure in this? Or my motive's pure in this.

And if they're not, reveal it to me and rip it out of my chest. But I think, yeah, I, I, I, actually think those are small potatoes. So that's an example, right, of how people are calling other Christians out or higher on things that I just, I don't know if those are things that are jeopardizing the body of Christ versus the first example I gave where I'm like, yeah, that feels damaging to the body of Christ. That also feels damaging to the world seeing the body of Christ and ever wanting to be a part of it because of how misleading that gospel that they could be preaching could be. Okay.

That was quite the intro. But okay, so what are we seeing? That's what we're seeing. Another question that I think is worth acknowledging right now is why are we doing it? Why are we doing it? I think there is a genuine difference between feeling a righteous frustration. from the Holy Spirit of being like, no, this is wrong. Like this is actually truly wrong.

It goes against everything Jesus tells us to do. There is a difference between that. And I think that there could be a why behind some of the people who make this kind of content online that there is a shock factor. And there is an aha. And there is a gasp. And there's controversy. And that kind of content will do well. It will.

And I think that leads me into my next question too is, okay, so again, that's about heart posture, I think, right? A genuine, like, holy, righteous frustration from the Holy Spirit, heart posture, Holy Spirit, what's right and wrong? Versus, ooh, this looks like it could be really controversial. I can make a really good statement on this. It's going to go viral, like, whatever, okay? Heart posture is very different in those two things. The next question that that leads me into is why does that stuff do so well? And I think this is the part, y'all, that's going to convict every single one of our hearts.

And I, thank you, Jesus, the only reason I've gotten really good at this is because of him and the conviction of the Holy Spirit. But the minute, the minute I feel like a video is about to get into like, kind of like gossipy or it's slandering somebody or it's just not honor. the person. I scroll so fast. I scroll so fast. It actually makes me angry. It makes me so, I'm like, I am not giving these videos a second of my time. I will hold and say not interested because I'm like, this isn't it. This isn't it. This isn't the look. It's never going to make Christians look loving and kind, which is the only way we're supposed to look, which is like Jesus. So that kind of stuff where it's like full-blown like slander gossip. I scroll so quickly past that stuff. But the truth is, y'all, is the reason that content does so well is because we are all guilty

of stopping. Because it is shocking, because it is controversial. And anything shocking and controversial, we like, loki want the tea. We like, loki want the gossip. We want to know. We're like, wait, I don't know. Like, this person who's huge on the internet is being absolutely dragged. Like, what's this about? It's gossip. It's gossip. And I think the heart posture in us needs to be examined if we fall to consuming that stuff. Like, talk about being on the other end.

Maybe you're not a part of it at all. Maybe you're not the one preaching online and you're not the one criticizing, but you're the one eating popcorn watching the show. I don't believe in that. I don't believe in that. And the thing is, is like, that is no different than how people act in the world. It's like we see people feuding online and clapping back at each other. And yeah, I mean, I used to eat that stuff up. I used to eat that stuff up. I actually found myself, which is a little bit of a fun fact about BC Alley. I accidentally found myself. But again, I didn't know how to shut up and I didn't know how to have a filter and I didn't know how to discern and I just didn't know how to. not like be angry with whatever it doesn't matter i've been healed and redeemed by the blood of jesus thank you god but a fun fact about bc alleys i found myself in one public little feud

once upon a time and so yeah i think like i used to be the kind of person that saw nothing wrong with that but there was a lot of self-righteousness there was a lot of pride there's a lot of pride in those atmospheres. And I think even simply entertaining it and watching it, there needs to be a heart check in that. Because we shouldn't find entertainment in watching a brother and sister in Christ tear down another brother or sister in Christ. There should be no entertainment in that. If anything, it should grieve our hearts. It should burden us.

It should frustrate us. Like me, I personally feel frustrated every time. I see that stuff. It like makes me angry. but I know it's coming from like a place of righteous anger because I can just feel that it's like bubbling up from a place of the Holy Spirit and it's not like my emotions I feel genuinely burdened where I'm like this is wrong and this isn't loving so we shouldn't find entertainment in that stuff and I think that if we were better I don't know maybe this is an argument of like is this even real my dad just said this a lot growing up is like what came first the chicken or the egg I think think the chicken came first to then lay the egg to have more chicks, but whatever, I guess that's a saying, like, what actually came first? Okay, thanks, dad. Anyway, so this could be one of those arguments where it's like, what really is the thing that came first that fuels the thing, but like, I think

that if all of us agreed to stop giving those kinds of videos our attention, if we stopped using it and letting it be entertainment, I think that kind of content would die off because it wouldn't do well. If a person's heart posture and motivation is virality and shock factor and controversy because they know it makes people stop scrolling, if we all just stopped scrolling, I don't know. Is it the chicken or the egg that came first? I'm like, would that kind of content even exist. The ones who actually watch that stuff and we give it our time, are we the problem? I don't know. I don't know. But I do think that if we all agreed to stop giving that kind of stuff our attention, it wouldn't do as well. And maybe there'd be less of it. Because if a person's

goal is to go viral, they'll find another way to go viral if that's not working anymore. But yeah, I think that's the truth is unfortunately we give it attention. And I think that this could also be a bit of an ironic episode. Last episode was ironic, considering all we were talking about while I'm sitting here on a podcast doing the very thing I was talking about. And this could also probably seem ironic because maybe this episode could come across as criticizing people who criticize people in the church. But I don't believe that this is criticizing. I think that this is actually just genuinely talking about what's happening. This is the truth of what's happening in the body of Christ right now online. And so now I think what we could talk about is not whether Christians

should be calling other Christians out online or not, because again, I'm not even saying that that's wrong. I think maybe what we could talk about now is, okay, what is a loving biblical way to go about these things? Because the truth is, yeah, there is information that's being spread to millions of people every day about the gospel and as we said last time anybody anybody could get online and just say yeah i'm a christian or you know this is this is this is what i believe from the bible and i mean there's no credentials to making a tic-tok account or a podcast or an instagram account anybody could just call themselves a prophet anybody could just call themselves a christian anybody could just call themselves whatever you know and then that's who they are that's that's that's that's who

they are on the internet. And so I don't think that boycotting Christians calling other Christians out or higher online is the answer. I do think we've already kind of covered in what cases. I think it's appropriate. We can expand a little further on that. But then also, like, how do we do it? What does faithful correction actually look like? And I actually want to say this. There have been plenty of times that I have received, in my opinion, very harsh criticism, for sure, with being online, but I actually have received a lot of really kind comments and DMs from you guys who have lovingly corrected me. And I think that the best way to really discern the where that person's heart posture is coming from is how it makes me feel afterwards.

I think even in these moments I have to be really discerning that I'm not just like going off of feeling offended. Because I think whenever we're corrected, there is an initial feeling of offense. Like even when Jesus corrects me sometimes, I'm like offended. And then that feeling kind of subsides. It's like that's like my natural reaction out of instinct. sometimes it's like to be offended and then I'm like oh wait everything he said was like so loving though and so I think my initial instinct of feeling offended is being told that I'm wrong and I think that's in all of us but then humility really enters the room and it's like oh well I mean he did it in such love and he's not

wrong um and so I think being really mindful of that and not letting like my initial offense be the compass of which I'm like, okay, this person is genuine or not. But there have been plenty of times where I have gotten messages from you guys and it was in the delivery. It was in the love. It was in the, hey, I love you so much and I'm looking out for you. I just want you to consider this. Like, take this to the Lord, but I actually really felt blank from the Holy Spirit or like I see what you were saying with this or I see what you're trying to get at with this Al. But actually, can I share this? And it's just in a way that's so loving, it's still challenging. And it's actually, yes, it's still correcting, but it's in a way that is approached with that

person's own humility and love that I'm like, oh, wow, we, I actually feel so loved in that. And also, I'm open. Like, I think that when we approach correction in a way that's loving and humble to another brother or sister in Christ, it is more likely that that person is going to receive that feedback in a way where they're open to it. And they're like, oh, okay, yeah. Like, I don't know. I didn't really think of it that way. But it's in the approach of humility that that person now doesn't feel like they're being attacked.

It doesn't feel like you're coming from a place of like, I know better than you. Like there does have to be an approach of love and a humility in correction to the church. and I can confidently say I have been successfully corrected by a DM, believe it or not, or a comment, because it was done with such love. And because it was done in a way of humility where they're like, hey, take this

up with the Lord, but like, I actually Al, I see what you're trying to do, and I actually really understand a lot of it, but can I offer this? And like, when it's been done that way, and I do take it to the Lord, I'm like, wow, I love her, or him, for doing that. That was so loving.

And like you can just tell, even in that posture alone, that it actually is coming from a place of love versus a place of self-righteousness. Because I think that any time I've gotten any feedback that is critical and it feels a little prideful and arrogant is it's a lot pricklier. I don't know how else to explain it. But the words are prickly. Okay. I see a cactus. I'm like, ooh, like that. You licked me with that.

And again, I'm not saying that conviction can't initially feel like a poke, but it's when there's more of like an attack, there's more of like a finger pointing, there's more of if it's a video that's being made, okay? If we're not talking about comments or DMs, but it's more of a video. It's even in people's facial expressions where they're like, they're just kind of looking like, oh man.

or like they're like kind of suss or they're like, oh, widening their eyebrows or they're like, you know, it's that kind of stuff where I'm like, oops, sorry you lost me there because I'm pretty sure Jesus would never, ever, ever, ever make those facial expressions at me if I'm just a girl trying to do her best. And yeah, maybe I need to be corrected in this moment. But like, that is not love. That's not love. I think that even applies. This is entirely different. topic but that even implies to when you are in a disagreement with somebody that you love okay don't roll your eyeballs at them sometimes i do that not really actually but it's it's even in body language that's what i'm saying okay there is a way to love somebody even in body language what is there

wait i want to share a statistic oh my gosh here it is you guys this is so stinking cool all right this is real so this is the percentage of which we communicate with each other if we're splicing it up from like actual words to tone a voice and then facial expressions and body language okay so seven percent of what we communicate to one another is words that's it 38 percent of the way that we communicate with each other is in the tone of our voices of those words that we're saying. Okay. And we know that because there's a million different ways we could say one singular word, right? So tone is 38%.

And then guess how high facial expressions and body language is? 55%. 55% of the ways that we communicate with each other as human beings is through facial expressions and body language. So 93% of communication is nonverbal, which means there is an opportunity for us as children of God to communicate to people lovingly in that 93% that is facial expressions, body language, and tone of our voices. There is a way to love people well in that 93%.

So it's actually less about the exact, words that we choose, there's gravity to the words that we choose, okay? I'm not diminishing that. It does say in the Bible that we have the power of life and death with our tongues, with the things that we say. But words are very important. But it's in the way that we communicate those words that holds even more gravity. And so there's a way to love each other, even in the way that we deliver words, the way that we look at people, right? And so no, I don't think. I don't think that even when Jesus is correcting me, actually, I've never, I use my imagination often. There are times I've told you guys this where I'm not schizophrenic, please, but I'll see

Jesus, like in my imagination, in my brain, but I do believe he's there, but I'll see him in a scenario and I'll like literally see the expressions of his face and it's always so kind. Like, even if he is like gently correcting me, he's never like, ugh. Like, he's never like, you know what I mean? Never! That is not a way to love each other, okay? I just, I could never see Jesus roll his eyes at me. Oh my gosh, I think my heart would shatter into a million pieces.

He would never do they yet. He would never do they yet. Okay. So when we're talking about the real difference between genuine discernment from the Holy Spirit and criticism. I think it's worth talking more about the contrast of those two things. I think heart posture is one of them, which we've already covered. I do think that heart posture and motive is a huge, huge indicator. But I think another thing to add to that too is purpose and outcome. Like what is the purpose of this and what is your hopes in the outcome of it? I think that true

discernment from the Holy Spirit asks a question of, is that? this true, good, and consistent with Christ? Versus criticism, I think, asks what's wrong with this person? Discernment can recognize something is wrong without needing to demean the person who is wrong. It evaluates. Criticism can easily move toward accusation, superiority, or contempt. I think another thing, too, is like, if someone's motive, if that person's purpose or the driving factor of which they are calling Christian. Let's say that that's all their page is. I don't know. It could just be somebody who just one-off, you know, calls another Christian out and they're like, hey, I don't typically do this, but like I really feel it heavy on my heart that this is wrong.

And I'm actually, I'm not super stoked about doing this, but I feel like it's what I'm supposed to do, you know, through obedience. That's whatever. That's one thing. But like, let's say that somebody has created an entire page off of doing things like this. And there are numerous of people online. that unfortunately do this. And I think that the question that I hope that that person is asking themselves or the question that we could even ask when looking at that content and consuming it is does it feel like this person is constantly looking for things to be wrong in the body of Christ? And I think that that difference that we just spoke to, right, where discernment asks,

is this true, good and consistent with Christ versus Christ? criticism, I think the driving factor of criticism is what's wrong here. What's wrong with this person? What's wrong with the body of Christ right now? Where can I find bad fruit? What's going wrong? That looks like it's kind of wrong. Yeah, let me get the Bible. Let me see. Yep, yep. See, I knew it. That's wrong. You're wrong. Stop doing that. Do we feel the difference in that? I don't know. I just think like, as believers, we should be on the lookout for everything. But like if our sight has become so fixated on trying to find what is wrong in the body of Christ, because the truth is, is there's always going to be something wrong. Always. There are always going to be parts of the

body where we just fall short. There's corruption. Unfortunately, that just, happens and it's sad. I wish the body of Christ was perfect, but if that were the case, we wouldn't really need Jesus or His Holy Spirit, you know? So I think there's always going to be blasphemy. Unfortunately, there's going to be hypocrisy in the body of Christ. There's going to be unfaithfulness. It's going to be lying, manipulation. It sucks. There's still going to be brokenness in the body of Christ because we're still broken. You know, like we still need Jesus. us just as much as anybody else does whether they know jesus or not we still need jesus we still have our faults you know and so that will always be a thing and i think we should always have eyes for that you know

we shouldn't turn a blind eye to parts of the church that are sick right where it needs health it needs Jesus. Um, but we should have eyes for everything. We should also have eyes for, um, encouraging the body of Christ and, and also like being like, hey man, I really love what you're doing. You're doing such a great job. You've come so far. I love what you're doing. You're so gifted. You're so talented. You're doing great. I see the way that you're really, really pursuing Jesus and you want to know him. So even, even if in what they're doing is. isn't perfect. It's like, where's the encouragement? You know, where's the, where's the, hey, but I see this health in the body of Christ and I love what I'm seeing over here. And that rocks.

And you guys are awesome. It reminds me of the book of Revelation that we read not that long ago, where Jesus spoke to the angels who then went to John as he's having this vivid dream, vision, I should say, where that's where the whole book of Revelation comes from is this vision. that God shows John and it's like even in Jesus's correction he also to all of these churches that he's talking to he's also being like hey but I love what you're doing here and I love how you're so faithful in this way and you guys really rock at this and I see your heart in this and it's beautiful I love you you know like we got to have eyeballs for all of it and so the minute that we're like zoning and we're focusing on the problems and the ways that things need to be fixed

is the minute that we have become too religious and we have become way too much like a Pharisee. Sorry, but Jesus doesn't just have sight for the things that are wrong in the church. He has sight for the things that are also beautiful, the things that he's proud of, the things that please him, right? So like that's having sight like Jesus is being able to see all of it. And so, yeah, I think that if somebody's page is, is, fully dedicated to finding brokenness in the body of Christ, you've lost the plot. You've lost the plot.

I do not think there's anything wrong with calling the body of Christ higher, but we have to also learn to encourage each other. We all need encouragement because the truth is, is the walk isn't easy. And if we're just sitting here wagging our fingers at each and every one, we're just, one of us, there's no unity in the body anymore. We're not actually loving each other. We're like saying that we're loving each other because God says in the Bible that love is actually calling each other higher, which is true.

But then we're also not encouraging each other. That's not love. That's just being a Pharisee. That's just criticizing. And so to anybody who's doing that online, I freaking love you. I love you. And honestly, there have been times where I've seen stuff said about me and I'm like, you know what? If we sat down and had a coffee together, I feel like we would actually get along

really well. But it's just unfortunate that some of us have limited sight. We've allowed this religious spirit or arrogance, you know, I think of like knowing a lot of scripture or knowing a lot of the Bible. Sometimes the more that we know, the more we actually have to ask God to continue to humble us and bring us lower because unfortunately the more that we know it's great i want to know more i want to know all there is to know about jesus and the bible and how to walk correctly with christ but my prayer in that and my biggest desire in that as well at the same time is but god bring me lower as i grow higher and i grow more in my wisdom of you and the bible and and the gospel i also pray that simultaneously I'm also like going down because that stuff it's it's so easy to get arrogant and to be like yep see

I know everything I used to not know anything and now I know so much and so now I can call the people who are once where I was and be like yeah you don't really know what you're talking about now I know what I'm talking about yeah I think even in that you've lost the plot and that's okay I think we all kind of lose the plot at one way at one point in in our journey or a few times that's okay But yeah, I think that the biggest prayer for all of us is that the more that God teaches us, the lower he takes us. Because it is so easy to become somebody who believes that you know better and you know more because you know more. But that is not the case. That is not the case.

That is like the perfect recipe for self-righteousness to start a brewing inside of us. And that's enemy territory. okay arrogance and pride and self-righteousness those are all the fruit of who the devil is and so I'm not calling you the devil I'm not calling you demonic if you fall to that but I'm just saying it's not the fruit of the spirit it's not the fruit of Jesus and so we just got to be mindful because we've gained so much wisdom through Christ that that's not where our mind goes with that wisdom is we are still wise but then we partner it with humility daily and I do believe that that is a daily cross that we have to carry and that is something that we have to die to every day because the more that we grow in

Jesus, the more opportunity there is to become arrogant. It's just the truth, right? None of us are off limits to that, not even I. So I think that the tension here in this topic really is Christians are obviously we are called, this is true. I agree with it. We are called to discern, correct, rebuke and call one another towards holiness. but Christians are also warned about pride, slander, and hypocrisy, and the way that we treat one another, particularly in front of the watching world. Because ultimately, Jesus also tells us that they will know who you are, they will know that you are mine by the fruit that you bear. John 1334. I actually really want to read that. Guys, I love you. I'm really, really proud of all of you. Okay. Each and every one of you, I'm so proud of you. This is such a great episode. We are learning how to love each other better. That's actually all this is about is like we are learning how to love each other better. Because every day, God is calling us to love as he loves. The first two most important commandments is to first love God with all of your mind by. body, heart, body, soul, everything.

And then also to love each other as our own. So we're learning how to love each other better. But, okay, John 1334, and I'm also reading the NLT translation just for context. But it says, so now I am giving you a new commandment, love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other. Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples. So what I said before this was like the Alley-Yose translation. I was just saying in my own words.

I don't know what translation I was saying, but it was the same thing, right? Basically what Jesus is saying is, listen, the best way to testify to the world that you are mine is through the way that you love each other. That is how people will know that you are mine. Your love for one another will prove to the world, aka anybody who doesn't know Jesus and doesn't know the love of Jesus, it will prove to the world. that you are my disciples. Why is that? I could think of one thing. Why would that actually prove to the world that we are Jesus is? Because it's a love that doesn't make sense. It's a love that forgives. It's a love that gives grace. It's a love that approaches every situation, conversation, confrontation, conflict, disagreement with love. It doesn't make sense because it's different,

because it's countercultural, the love of Jesus. And so that's why it will prove to the world, because the world won't be able to comprehend it. Like if we genuinely love each other the way that Jesus tells us to love each other with humility and love and grace and compassion, oh my gosh. I mean, the world would be like, what is that? Some of them probably wouldn't like it at all

because it's too offensive in convicting to the way that they live their life. But I think it actually would more so intrigue a lot of people and say, wow, I haven't ever received that kind of grace or understanding. Like, typically people actually are really quick to just start, like, accusing me and yelling at me and assuming the worst, you know? Like, people don't really give me the benefit of the doubt. And I think that in a way that we can love each other well is giving each other the benefit of the doubt.

Because, again, we don't really know the heart posture of anybody, truly. and so approaching these kinds of things with so much humility to be like, hey, I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe you just didn't know. But if you'd consider, I actually think blank. And it's just like that is so different than how things are done in the world. Okay. I think this is a really fun angle as well that's worth talking about. because this is this is also very true and I think that this also comes down to personal conviction because each and every one of us have that with Jesus where Jesus knows all of us individually

the best and he knows that there are some things that some of us can handle can participate in can do versus others I think a really hot topic of which could be used as an example is alcohol. I think there are a lot of Christians. There are ones that I know personally who are like, yeah, no, I feel convicted to never have a sip of alcohol in my life. And that used to be me. I used to carry that same conviction. And I think that the reason why I shared that conviction before was because I used to use alcohol as self-medicating. I would use alcohol to help me in any way I felt uncomfortable. So I really wanted to stay away from any kind of alcohol ever because it was becoming something in my life that wasn't healthy. It was a crutch, right? Versus now I'm like,

I'm not opposed to having a glass of wine and celebrating my birthday with my friends. I'm not getting drunk. I'm not getting tipsy. But I, that's my conviction. How do I feel about hard liquors? I don't know. I'm still kind of funny about that. But I'm not going to criticize a Christian. who decides to enjoy margarita with their best girlfriend and they haven't been able to have quality time, dinner time in six months, whatever. Like, I mean, I believe things like that is like it's a personal conviction. Now, do I agree with drunkenness? No, of course not, because it's directly talked about in the Bible, drunkenness.

And again, I think that scripture can also be interpreted in ways where people are like, yeah, no, my conviction, like I see this in the Bible and I personally read it as like, Like I just, I'm never going to drink alcohol. I'm never going to have a sip. I'm never going to have a drop of it. I respect that deeply. I do. But I carry a different conviction.

And that's okay. But I use that as an example because unity isn't the same thing as agreement. And the truth is, it's like there's just no way that every single Christian on the face of planet Earth is going to agree on the same thing. Why? Well, because we're all very different. And God made us that way. Okay, he made us all very different. And we do all have different personal convictions, but then I do believe that there are like actual legitimate pillars of being a Christian that's like, no, sorry, this is not a personal conviction. This is a real pillar to being a Jesus follower, right? Like, God clearly states in the Bible that we are not supposed to be having sex before marriage, okay? That he created that for covenant between a husband and a wife. There's no personal conviction with that. Like, there's things that are like, no, that's not right. But the truth is, is like, we're not all

going to agree. Okay. And so how do we create unity in the body of Christ where we don't always agree with each other? And I think the first step to that is recognizing that unity and agreeing on everything isn't the same thing. The challenge here is figuring out how Christians can disagree even strongly, like even if we strongly disagree with each other without treating another member of Christ's body like an enemy. And I think that's the thing that's the most important here too is like, are we looking at each other like we're not on the same team anymore? Are we looking at people who are within the body as if they are the enemy?

I think that Christian disagreements get dangerous when we move from evaluating somebody's ideas, theology, their behaviors or decisions to changing how we actually see the person. And I think that that's when it becomes like, okay, now we are making that person an enemy in our mind because we don't agree with their ideas, theology, decisions, so on and so forth. There's a progression that can happen in this scenario that I think is worth acknowledging of like what our brain could do, which is, first step is, I think you're wrong. Okay. And then it goes to, I don't trust your judgment, which then goes to, I don't respect you,

which then goes to you're what's wrong with the church, which then goes to you're the enemy. Do you see how quickly that becomes sinister and cynical and lacking love? And once someone becomes the enemy in our minds, almost. Anything feels justified. Mocking them, assuming their motives, taking clips out of context, celebrating when they fail, talking about them in ways we'd never talk to them. But the truth in all of this is that if they belong to Christ, they are family. That person is your brother. That person is your sister.

And so whether you agree with what they're saying or what they're doing, if they are genuinely a part of the body of Christ, that is a family member. That's your family. Even when they're wrong, they're still your family. Even if they're like super wrong, they're still your family. And so I think that the thing that Jesus would be challenging us the most here is how are we going to choose to love our family regardless of whether they're like really wrong or wrong or we don't agree with it? Romans 14. 3, I'd love to read that to you guys.

Romans 143 says, those who feel free to eat anything must not look down on those who don't. And those who don't eat certain foods must not condemn those who do. For God has accepted them. Who are you to condemn someone else's servants? Their own master

will judge whether they stand or fall. And with the Lord's help, they will stand and receive his approval. In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. You should each be fully convinced that whichever day you choose is acceptable. Those who worship the Lord on a special day do it to honor him. Those who eat any kind of food do so to honor the Lord, since they give thanks to God before eating. And those who refuse to eat certain foods also want to please the Lord and give thanks to God.

for we don't live for ourselves or die for ourselves. If we live, it's to honor the Lord. And if we die, it's to honor the Lord. So whether we live or die, we belong to the Lord. Christ died and rose again for this very purpose, to be Lord both of the living and of the dead. So why do you condemn another believer? Why do you look down on another believer? Remember, we will all stand before the judgment seat of God. for the scriptures say as surely as I live says the Lord every knee will bend to me and every tongue will declare allegiance to God yes each of us will give a personal account to God so let's stop condemning each other decide instead to live in such a way that you will not cause another believer to stumble and fall and I think that is so beautiful And I think that the major theme of which is being said in that scripture is kind of what I was trying to communicate near the beginning of this episode about the small potatoes.

Okay. And I think what's being said here is like whether somebody has the conviction that there's one day in particular that is like the holiest day of them all where that is where they honor the Lord versus somebody who sees every day as the holiest day to honor the Lord. shouldn't we just be stoked at the fact that like everyone's heart posture in that scenario is to honor the Lord and like whether you agree with that or not maybe we should also find comfort in the fact that like we're all going to take an account to God one day at the end of our lives for everything that we've done and so you don't really need to worry about whether that person is well they're never going to know if it was right or right small potatoes we're all going to take an account to God at the end of our lives anyway and so I don't See, I think even in that example, like, is there any true harm that's actually being done to the body of Christ?

Whether somebody believed that there was one day that was particularly more holy than the rest, or they believed that all the days were holy? I don't think so. I think, again, it looks like the heart in both of those scenarios is that the person just wants to please God. And so we're not going to critique and condemn the body of Christ over things that are just like, what are we doing? Romans 14 is about believers disagreeing over their personal convictions. So the examples that Romans 14 was using was like food, observing certain days, etc. So Paul doesn't tell them that differences don't matter. Instead, he repeatedly addresses how they're treating the person on the other side.

And I think that the real question here that we could all ask ourselves is, can I disagree with someone? whom God, God himself has welcomed without acting as though I have the authority to unwelcome them. Because the truth is, is like, even in what Paul is saying here is both sides, both scenarios, both people, God has welcomed both of them. God has welcomed both of them. And so do we really hold the authority to unwelcome them when God has already welcomed them into the family and said, you're a part of my family, you're mine now, you're my son or daughter now. Like, no, I don't think so. I don't think we have the authority for that at all.

And a disclaimer to say here too about Romans 14, just so there isn't anything miscommunicated and what I'm trying to say is that Romans 14 isn't saying every theological issue is a disputable matter. There are serious questions of truth, sin, abuse, false teaching, etc. But it establishes a posture toward disagreement that I think we've lost. And I think that that's the heart of today's episode. It's again, it's not that we shouldn't be calling things out that are genuinely so dangerous and harmful. But it's in the way that we do it. And I also think it's with discernment on what is actually worth publicly rebuking and what isn't.

like there's also a part of this where we got to like we got to go to the holy spirit and say god do you want me to just pray about this or am i actually more tempted to just pray about it because it's the easier thing to do is there a public rebuke that you want here like just letting god be the one to call the shots and like really go back to the holy spirit and discern with him and say what is the right thing to do here is this worth a public rebuke or is this something that you want me to just intercede for or privately message the person, right? There's there's so many ways to go about a rebuke virtually and especially with people that aren't in our personal life. Maybe that's what we could talk about

in the next episode is how we do that with people in our own lives. Um, because this episode we're talking specifically about the internet, but maybe there's another perspective we could talk about with people in our lives. But yeah, I think that there's obviously a few different ways we could do it virtually. And I think that the only way to know what's appropriate is discernment from the Holy Spirit and moving slow enough to approach God first and say, okay, God, that made me really, I felt like a righteous frustration with what I just saw. What do you want me to do with that frustration? And let him be the boss because he is the boss. I think a comment that I see that's like so popular in the Christian space is like, because I'll go to the comment section sometimes

when I see things that I'm like, oh, that doesn't feel right. And people love running with the comment of like, Paul would have, you know, who knows, right? But they're like, oh, Paul would have called this out or Paul would have ruled, whatever. And the truth is, is like, Paul had strong disagreements with people. Okay. And Jesus rebuked people, right? So it's biblical. Even the New Testament warns about false teaching.

but biblical unity isn't nothing matters enough to disagree about or it's not about us pretending that differences don't exist because we did see that in the Bible through people like Jesus himself or Paul who expressed disagreeing and correction and rebuking and I think that this concept of choosing to love each other even in disagreeing can be hard for us at times because, I mean, it says this in scripture, but like it's easy to love somebody who you agree with or agrees with you. But Christian love becomes particularly visible when you can say something like, I believe you're wrong about this. I think it matters. I'm willing to tell you that. And I still refuse to hate you, humiliate you, misrepresent you, or delight in your downfall.

And what's so interesting is I feel like 1 Corinthians 13, 4 through 7 captures this beautifully. This is the biblical definition of what love is. A lot of us already know it, but I want to read it one more time. Love is patient and kind. It isn't envious, boastful, arrogant, rude, self-seeking, irritable or resentful. It doesn't celebrate wrongdoing, but rejoices with truth. It bears beliefs, hopes, and endures. but isn't it so interesting that even in the definition of what God says love is biblically

is it does not celebrate wrongdoings and rejoices in truth but it's not boastful arrogant rude or irritable or resentful so I think even in that alone God says oh no like love is celebrating truth and real biblical love does not celebrate wrongdoing, but it also is patient and kind. It refuses to hate somebody to humiliate them, to misrepresent them, or delight in their downfall, right? Second Timothy captures this really beautifully too. It's in Second Timothy 2.24 through 25 where it says, the Lord's servant must not be quarrelsome, but kind to everyone. This is really good. patiently enduring evil correcting his opponents with gentleness.

I will say that I think gentleness is another huge key factor here. Like if there were two traits that I think is the most important when rebuking, if you do come to a place of like, okay, Lord, I really actually do feel from your spirit that something needs to be said or done in this scenario. If you've discerned with the Holy Spirit and he's given you the green light to do it, I think the two most important things personally is, humility and gentleness. I'm actually so glad we're talking about gentleness because it's that gentleness and kindness that I met when I first encountered the Spirit of God and I really met Jesus for

the first time. That was the thing that actually like made me feel so loved and intrigued me the most about Jesus was his gentleness and his kindness. Like those things alone make me want to weep because I was in a pit. Like I was his enemy. Like I resisted, deny. him chose to live my own life and he chose gentleness and kindness like that is the fruit of who jesus is and so i think that as long as we are approaching every rebuke in a way that is gentle and humble we're doing it right you know regardless of the person's reaction i hope that their reaction is like open especially if you're approaching it with gentleness and kindness but um regardless of the person's reaction that should be our approach every time because i think also the

goal in discernment and like rebuking. We want to talk about heart posture one more time is I think that the outcome of that, our hopes of what the outcome in that should be is restoration, obviously, versus criticism. I think the outcome in that 10 out of 10 times is condemnation and division and bitterness, right? I think that it puts severs between us in the body. And so I think one really beautiful statement that we could just blanket this whole entire episode in and kind of conclude with is, I mean, because we're talking about biblical love, which is what all of this should be coming from and rooted out of, right? Is biblical love is actively seeking another person's good, grounded in truth, expressed

through humility and self-sacrifice, and modeled after the way Christ loves us. But yeah, there's a few things that we talked about in this episode. I'm very excited about it. That was a lot. I feel like I'm going to be processing and meditating on everything we just talked about for hours after this. That was loaded. That was a really great episode. Thank you, God. Anyway, really love you guys. Super proud of you. I am excited to read some of your thoughts and feedback in the comment section about this episode. If you want to leave a comment, if you have any thoughts. I just think that this was a really rich episode. And I think it was worth talking about because ultimately, yeah, I think that becoming healthier in the body of Christ isn't necessarily pointing fingers at each other, but it's just learning how to love each other better. And this is another way to love each other better, is how to lovingly call each other higher and when to discern whether it's appropriate or not. And also the heart posture. And also are we like using this kind of stuff as entertainment online? Right. We covered it all. It's a good episode. Okay. Guys, I love you. Have a beautiful weekend. I will see you

Wednesday but before we go can we do something really cool today can we show somebody how cool Jesus is can we walk more like him talk more like him be more like Jesus today I love you I love you guys I'll see you in a few days bye