Circling Back - 2021 Thanksgiving Food Draft & Wet Stages

Episode Date: November 15, 2021

A huuuuuuge Monday that sees us discussing our Weekends in Fun, Will’s ratio’ing of Dillon, the band lead who peed on a dude’s face, the 2021 Thanksgiving Draft, and Brett’s Breaking News/HR Complaints. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (17:42) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (36:15) Why did she pee on this dude’s face? (48:05) 2021 Thanksgiving Draft (1:07:00) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Cuts: www.cutsclothing.com/steam (30% off!) Rothys: www.rothys.com/steam Trade: www.drinktrade.com/steam (STEAM for first bag free and $5 off) Express VPN: www.expressvpn.com/steam (extra 3 months FREE on a one-year package) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back. Circling Back podcast presented by Roback, where you can get 20% off your first order using Backer20. My name's Will DeFreeze to my left. David, that boy rough. So I guess I was completely oblivious to the fact that Jake Gyllenhaal and Taylor Swift were at one point an item. Not only that, but apparently it ended. Not only that but a 10 minute song remake of a song devoted uh entirely to throwing shade at jake gyllenhaal who seems like a nice guy i think they dated for like 30 days 10 years ago and i don't think i'm making that it's not that's like real it's a very brief oh because it's a remake of the song yeah so the song interesting yeah so that's probably

why because 10 years ago i mean what i was only like 18 years old so i wouldn't have known if you get involved with taylor swift you better look out buddy mister not good at all not good at all they did it for three months you treat her right 90 days try again hot shot okay 90 days. Try again. Hot shot. Okay. 90 days, 10 years ago. I can't comment on her experience. Oh, Will's right. Correct. Take Will right here. Step into her shoes one time.

Did y'all watch SNL? I did not. Yeah, I did. I didn't think it was a particularly good episode, although I did enjoy her being involved in the sketch with Pete Davidson and co. Yeah, I appreciated her. I feel like it's a downgrade for her to be in the sketch with Pete Davidson and co. Yeah, I appreciated her. I feel like it's a downgrade for her to be in comedy sketches at this point. I feel like she's such an elevated celebrity at this point that she doesn't need to do those things.

But I found it endearing that she decided to do that. She threw SNL a bone, and they desperately need one. If you found out she didn't do it and turned them down, people would be like, oh, cool. I would be. I'd be like, yeah, I get it. I understand. I made a crack at her, but I should set the record straight.

I do love Taylor Swift. I think she's pretty fantastic overall. Yeah, as someone who had her as my number one played artist on Spotify last year, I can't say anything. She's getting dethroned this year i like her earlier pop stuff you know see uh the latest stuff i don't like it as much i think i think the latest stuff hit at the perfect time okay you said she's getting dethroned on his on my spotify oh yeah yeah yeah yeah she will not be the number one person this year who will be? Wow.

Hard to say. We're going to have to wait until that episode drops. Damn. That's soon, isn't it? Yeah, they keep teasing it. It's like, okay, guys, do you need to tease your Spotify rap? We know it's coming at the end of the year. I might switch to Spotify just for the rap stuff. It's good. It's a fun time. It's interesting.

They also have websites now that you can just go look at your status. My most listened to artist is going to be Jimothy. Do you remember Jimothy from a few months ago? That's a very niche reference. He got roasted. He's like an English hip-hop artist that New York Times did a piece on, and people were roasting him. Good.

Maybe because of the name Jimothy. I'm unfamiliar. You should check him out. It's not good at all. I exclusively listen to 1989. I don't really do. I listen to a little bit of Red. That's the album, Dave.

1989 for me, and I know she's going to redo it, Taylor's way, Taylor's version. Is she? Will will inform me this morning. She's doing them all. No, I'm here for that. Okay, I need to pull back the curtain here. I'm actually not sure if she's doing them all. Okay.

I need to pull back the curtain here I'm actually not sure if she's doing them all My assumption is based on what I know that she will end up doing 1989 as that was still recorded during the time when she did not have the rights to her own music Scooter Braun She knocked 1989 out of the park

That's what got me in I don't need her to touch that It's hard to create one on that level after you've done that It's hard to it's hard to create one on that level after you've done that like it's like after you paint you know the ceiling of the sistine chapel like what what's next you know the 17th chapel that's a good okay that's a good point yeah michelangelo mm-hmm you think after you finished he looked up at the at the ceiling and just did did one of those he got a ceiling seems so much better mike drops he probably paintbrush dropped he's got a walked out they're like uh you

can't clean your shit up dude you're just paint everywhere in the middle of the chapel you know people are trying to cancel colin jost for not canceling but they're getting mad at colin jost for the first joke that he made during the SNL weekend update. I didn't see this. What was the joke? It was a joke about how you shouldn't date Taylor Swift because she'll write a song about you and perform it for 10 minutes. And I think there's a lot of people that are mad about this. And I'm sorry, but I think she was pretty heavily involved in this SNL.

And I'm pretty sure her and Colin are probably yucking it up backstage and it's not a big deal. The episode she was on? Yeah. Let me tell you that. She's going to be just fine. If she's not okay with it we would probably know by now. Because she would have exposed him. She called out some random Netflix show that did a joke about dating Taylor Swift

or something a few months back. A show that I'd never even heard of. I'm also old. Her and Colin are probably exchanging text messages, being like, dude, why are people all upset about this dumb joke you made? Colin is actually a great player of golf. Did you know that? No, he is? I think he's a scratch, yeah.

Who's her guy right now? Is she dating? I don't know. She got a beau? She got a dude? Actually, she's been linked to The Rock. Dwayne Johnson. After she heard his new song, she was like,

not only do I think you're sexy as hell, but I respect you as an artist. Yeah. She's Team Rock in the Vin Rock thing. That would be so weird. What if she did an entire Revenge album about breaking up with The Rock? I smell what you're cooking. He was always in the gym. He wouldn't spend time with me.

He was terrible. I mean, he was obsessed with just lifting weights. He couldn't stop. He'd get up at 4 o'clock every morning and just start pumping. He would get mad if I slept past 6.30 a.m. Five. That dude's wild, man. He's in very good shape.

Who's got a worse morning routine, Mark Wahlberg or The Rock? Ooh. Because Wahlberg's out here like... They're just in a de-measuring contest about their morning routines. Morning routine hardos are fucking losers.

Like, cool, dude. Oh, yeah. My recipe for success. Yeah. I'm sleeping. I get up at 4 o'clock every morning. I read the newspaper

for 30 minutes. Cover to cover. Yeah. I read an entire book before breakfast. Yeah, sweet. I read Twitter and get more

information that's more current and relevant like just sleep in dog it's fine yeah you got to open that twitter app first thing you gotta roll over grab the phone turn off the alarm and just hit that twitter button what's the bare minimum of hours you guys need to sleep bare minimum yeah six five and a half i could do five and a half probably i found that uh six six to six and a half is probably my sweet spot. Really? Yeah. I'm built different though.

Yeah, you are. I'm not built like that. Damn, dude. I need eight. Don't talk to him when he hasn't had eight. No hat today, I noticed. Correct. No cap.

So you're not going to be capping this entire episode? Everything you're going to get here is no cap. Wow. That's big. Yeah. Anything else you want to compliment get here is no cap. Wow. That's big. Yeah. Anything else you want to compliment? You look very handsome. Oh, great.

Thank you. You're wearing my trademark workout shirt that they all smell like absolute shit because I just work out in them every single time. I'm on did I put on deodorant watch. Not because I smell, but because I'm second guessing myself. Dude, I ran out of my good deodorant, so I had to go to my reserve supply in the drawer. It's just bad out here. Aren't you an Old Spice guy? Dude, stop.

Don't spread that. Yes. I recently switched to Old Spice. What's wrong with Old Spice? I've been on Old Spice since I hit puberty. I love it. Oh. Yeah, dude.

This dude hit puberty. Red Zone, Swagger. Let's dude. No, I recently... This dude hit puberty. Red Zone, Swagger. Let's go. Dude, girls love Swagger. Did somebody say Red Zone? I was in the Serengeti, and... Sorry. Oh, you're doing Scott Hansen.

Correct. Sometimes when I hear his voice when I'm watching it, it takes me back. Tell me you don't want to hear the story about him climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, though. We need to have him back up. We need to have him back up. I scaled K2, and the funny thing is I lost my backpack,

so I did it entirely on my own, freestyle. He swam in the Ganges River, and he has a story about it, and we haven't heard the story. That's not okay. What if he was talking during the Lions game, and he was like, God, this team is sinking faster than I did in the Ganges River, but that's a story that you're going to have to hear on Circling Back's Happy Hour Live. Chill out, Scott.

Oh, my God. Dude, shout out, Scott. What a guy. Friendliest guest we've ever had on. So handsome. Y'all wronged him. Please. So much charisma on that dude, man.

Greatest gig in sports next to, like, a bunch of the other ones. He's crushing it. What is the greatest gig in sports? What's he of the other ones. He's crushing it. What is the greatest gig in sports? No commercials, man. It's just seven hours. Hey, what's he making? Does he do any other shows on NFL Network? Truly don't know.

Let's find out. His net worth is $3 million. Okay. Modest, but he's doing okay. He earns an annual salary of around $200,000 Working as the anchor and reporter For NFL Network He's invested well He's got some other irons in the fire

He got into my fund That's not his only salary He's doing just fine He got into my BTS fund very early We paid him what? $10,000 to come on Happy Hour Live? Uh huh He said he wouldn't do it He has fun very early. We paid him, what, $10,000 to come on Happy Hour Live? Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

He said he wouldn't do it. I don't know how we're going to financially recover from that, but we'll get there. Hey, do you guys want some programming notes before we really get into the thick of this? Let's get into the notes. Dude, first and foremost, we've got a video dropping tonight on YouTube. Go to the YouTube.com slash Watch Media. I don't want this dropped. I might veto it.

I know. We might have to. Dave and I might need this taken down. But go over. Go over to Watch Media on YouTube. Hit the subscribe button. Keep an eye out for a little video tonight where we play a little Geography Bee. Also, tomorrow on Patreon, we're doing a dad episode.

Shout out to all the dads out there. All the mommies as well. Mommies are welcome to listen too. I think I'm worried about some of our takes. They're going to be like, God, these guys are idiots. Correct. But that's why we're out here. They know that by now, though.

If you want to go submit a question for us about dad life, go head over to our Twitter page. Click on the link that's at the top of it right now and just go submit one. We need to have a girl dad on, hashtag. Dude, should we get a girl boss on? Ooh. Open up for the dad episode? Ooh.

We don't want to talk too much business jargon. They're going to want the ladies of Wash Media to hop on. Oh, that's the next. That's what people are going to want next. I would venture to guess that people actually would want that more. A mom episode. They've got to be sick of us by this point. Yeah. I hate us at this point. Seriously, dude. I would venture to guess that people actually would want that more. A mom episode. They've got to be sick of us by this point.

Yeah. I hate us at this point. Seriously, dude. I don't like either of you. No. I'm out. It's pretty tough to come in every day

and do this. I'm out. You guys are pretty mid. Fucking Randy over here. We got a review this week, which I'll get to the reviews in a little bit. Did someone call us mid?

They pretty much said that they only like Dave at this point. They said that I put out the vibe of someone who only drinks soy milk. That's just not true. You're a soy boy. I the vibe of someone who only drinks soy milk. That's just not true. You're a soy boy. I've watched him drink

oat milk and almond milk. Not to stunt too hard, but this morning, did I put some half and half in my coffee? Yeah, I did. What did they say about me? Yours is actually worse, and I'm scared to say it because I'm worried you're going to get mad about this. Let me see it. No, I'm just going to say it. I didn't say this, Dylan, and I actually disagree

with this as someone who benefited from your Twitter presence all weekend. Don't shoot the messenger. They said that your Twitter has taken a downgrade lately. Oh, fuck. Really? Yeah. That doesn't bother me. I don't think it has.

You're out here doing 1940s gangster content on full college football Saturday. That was your best tweet in two years. I was throwing straight gas over the weekend. They probably left that with you before the weekend. I get why he might think that, because whenever you tweet, there's always one response underneath it that has more likes than what your tweet did.

So I get how they might think you downgraded. He probably followed me in 2012, when I was a TFM guy, and I don't do that stuff anymore. Yeah, you've changed. I kind of have a more serious tone these days. Had a dude approach me recently, and he said,

hey, really enjoyed your stuff at TFM. What are you up to these days? Really? I was like, it's the same guy who thought Dylan was the rowdy gentleman. It's almost as bad as some dweeb. Okay. Hopefully he's not listening. He probably is. Approaching you in the locker room and saying, hey, you're one of the rowdy gentlemen, right? No, I like that.

We need more of that. We need more of that. Of all the things that I've put on my resume, the rowdy gentleman guy. W guy were you completely nudes but with socks on when he did this no David well whoever this guy is um he's clearly not been paying attention to my twitter because I went like a week without doing anything other than like a quote tweet Dave you you do you want the criticism that you actually got yeah all right I could some dude named Ian Ritzman said, I'm giving four stars because of the Aaron Rodgers lifted Jeep take by Dave.

Made me not want to drive my own car anymore. I didn't say it was a bad thing. There's too much shit on my car. I don't want to be here anymore. There's too much fucking shit. Oh, well, that's, look. Look, it's fine. I'm not saying, look, I'm not saying.

I'm not going look i'm not saying i'm not gonna backtrack it's a good take if you really think about it and look at aaron rogers you could see him driving a souped up jeep dude i get it my best buddy in high school one of them drove a souped up jeep one day somebody uh undid the the screws on his wheel or whatever and his wheel flew off when he was driving do you want to hear our final review the screws on his wheel or whatever, and his wheel flew off when he was driving. Do you want to hear our final review? The screws on the wheel, I said. This is from Will's High School Bully. Okay. It said, this was the first podcast I've ever listened to,

and they got me hooked. Will's like the kid in high school who wants to hang with the cool kids but doesn't have much in common with them. Dylan was the guy that I got to choose who's in the group or not, and Dave was the fringe guy. Love the pod. Would rate six stars if I got to choose who's in the group or not, and Dave was the fringe guy. Love the pod. Would rate six stars if I could. I'll take that.

Fringe guy, actually, I think being the fringe guy is cooler than being in the actual cool group. Because when you're the fringe guy, it's like, hold on, this guy's cool enough to hang out with the cool group, but why is he choosing not to? So you hang out with the cool group enough, and then you go back to your other group that's not as cool, and then to there, you're like the coolest dude ever. ever yeah you're just all over fish small pond but there's always

that guy who just he wasn't really part of the group he always just showed up and acted like he was part of the group in my mind that's what a fringe guy kind of is i was kind of the fringe guy on this pod the first iteration because i wasn't even supposed to be on no you were never the fringe guy no the first episode remember i was like, I was like, I'll hop on. I didn't even go on the cruise. First episode, you said, there's a direct quote, I don't even know why I'm here. I don't want to be here anymore. I was the original. I don't want to be around anymore.

It's true. I would also, hey, I'd like to also, this is kind of in the same breath. Yesterday was our three-year Twitter anniversary for Circling Back Pod. Right. I saw some people in for Circling Back Pod. Right. I saw some people in the Discord talking about it. Wow. Did anybody find the account before we actually tweeted from it? Who made the account? None of us.

I didn't do it. It was probably me. I didn't do anything. Probably me. Happy three-year anniversary to the account that you created, Dylan. That's very cool. Do you know how to log into it now? No.

Okay, cool. Hey, let's recap this weekend in fun, baby. Presented by Cuts Clothing. You guys ever, you know, like, can you imagine if we had to work a job where we had to wear traditional business attire? I'd be in hell. Like, I don't want, I can't, I need e-waste at all times. Especially given how many fall beers I've been drinking lately. Oh.

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That is a huge deal. A very generous percentage off, yes. I deal we've had for Cuts clothing this entire time. That is a huge deal. A very generous percentage off. Yes. I am so comfortable in the Cuts shirts, but I don't look nearly as good as Randy does when Randy's wearing a Cuts shirt. Yeah, they were designed for Randy's bod. It's insane. He looks so hot in it.

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with 30% off site-wide starting November 9th, so you can have a worry-free holiday shopping season. Head over to cutsclothing.com right now for 30% off site-wide through December 3rd and upgrade your wardrobe with their world-famous shirts, joggers, and their all-new outerwear. That's C-U-T-S clothing.com, 30% off site-wide. Dylan, what did you get into this weekend? Oh, thanks for asking, Will. I went to Matt's El Rancho two days in a row.

The first of which I did something I haven't done in a very long time, which was I sort of blacked out on Friday night. Dylan, are you okay? I woke up Saturday morning at Bay's, and I was like, I don't remember getting here last night. Don't love that feeling. Give me a little bit of anxiety, you know. But yeah, I got into one.

I had two martinis and a couple beers afterward because we met her friend out for his birthday weekend. It was a great night. Can I ask you a question? I just got into one. Did they cut you off at two Mexican martinis? Well, I didn't attempt to order a third.

So you always have to attempt to order a third just to keep them on their toes. No, no, no, no, no. Weather was perfect. We had a nice spot on the patio. Great night. Saturday, I watched Kansas just bury Texas, just put them six feet under. Wait, I didn't see this.

What sport? Football. Wow. In Austin. I was going to say, I thought they played Gonzaga on Saturday. So that was pretty unfortunate um watch it at bay south had a nice evening aside from that with with bay and little bay how's their drywall you know when texas was four and five going into the games so i sound like i i mean canis didn't like crush the, you know,

playoff hopes or anything. It was just like a, ah, okay, well. Yeah, there were certainly no playoff hopes. This team is much worse than I thought they were, and I thought they were pretty bad. Sunday, the boys absolutely put it to Atlanta. More on that on Too Much Dip. Recording later today with a special guest. It's an old twist on an old favorite.

Yeah, exactly. Is the guest, is he a bad boy of any sort? You could say that. Of the Battletoad variety, yes. Really? Yeah. Oh, Saturday you had lunch with the Freezes. Yeah, thanks for just casually glossing over that.

All three of them. All three of the Freezes. It was great. A nice little treat. Will brought his own salsa. Do you call that salsa? No, absolutely not. What do you call it?

Salsa. Yeah, salsa. It's salsa. Donya? Yeah, it's salsa. I don't think it's salsa. It's salsa. It's salsa to a Mexican.

It's a green. It's a Verde salsa. What are the ingredients of Donya? Verde. That means green. Yeah, they put the green in it. David, it's like you've never had Mexican food in your life. It's a sour cream-based salsa with some very spicy peppers.

I am almost positive. What's in it? I would like to know what's in it. I don't even know. Maybe it is. It just has the consistency of just like a green sauce. You're kind of a thick boy. Please.

Are you talking about me or the salsa? I don't know where we've landed here. The salsa. Okay. Sunday, I just chilled with Parks. It was a good day. He's leaving town pretty soon for like a whole week. I'm pretty sad about it, so I'm't know where we've landed here. Salsa. Sunday, I just chill with Parks. It was a good day. He's leaving town pretty soon for like a whole week.

I'm pretty sad about it, so I'm going to maximize my homie time. All right, I'll get out in front of this, Dylan. According to the faux Martha, jalapenos, garlic, oil, lime juice, and salt,

and they're calling it salsa donya. Oh. Salsa donya. I'm sorry. Cool. Were you doing despacito but with salsa donya? and they're calling it Salsa Donia. Oh. Salsa Donia. I'm sorry. Cool. Were you doing Despacito but with Salsa Donia?

Salsa Donia. And that concludes my weekend and fun and heartbreak because Texas is terrible. Did you have high expectations going into the season? New coach, freshman quarterbacks? High expectations, no. But what I wanted to see, what I expected to see, is a program on the up and up. Okay.

Taking a step in the right direction. Fair. They've taken a couple steps back. And a couple points during the season early on, I thought, yeah, looked kind of good. They've taken more steps back than Gary Patterson. They lost five in a row, folks. Yeah, that's not ideal.

Five games in a row, David. If they would have won all those five in a row, they would be in the playoff picture. It's pretty insane considering the fact that they played a very close game against OU. They haven't won since September. Do you know what's crazy?

Dude, the team that I earmarked as being a possible playoff contender, they're still in it. Alabama, right? Alabama. They're still playing really well. You were pretty early on them. They're still playing pretty well. Maybe you need a chair on too much dip. I know. I know.

I'm a sports guy. Damn, dude. Yeah. I think billionaires should build their own fucking stadiums. That's my take. How about your dumbass weekends? What do y'all do? What'd that boy get into?

He's not talking to me, clearly. What'd you do, dog? You know, I hung out. Like like i said didn't have much planned uh my weekend kicked off with some family photos on thursday and then went right into the live stream check out wash media youtube for the too much dip thursday night live stream presented by draft kings and um friday friday didn't do much fr Friday evening, however, we went to dinner with the Dudleys, Club Cool Zone, Barrett Dudley. And we had some steaks. Oh, yeah.

And some deviled eggs. We did have the deviled eggs, Dylan. They were quite good. They're fire, aren't they? You got to eat. I found that you have to eat it in one bite. Duh. You got to toss it in there because if you try to like.

Dude. You got to get all those flavors blasting your palate at once. Just a blast of flavor. You got to prep that gullet before you slam those deviled eggs down there though do you have some of that popcorn that's uh of course covered in the um nutritional yeast which is a weird thing but that's what it's called thank you for bringing that up yeah i was gonna i was gonna talk nutritional yeast uh right now okay let's talk about it let's get into it no you got it you covered it okay is that really what's on i just you know what and i wasn't that it was good i just was hungry what about the

popovers though dog i don't know so you just i just i didn't know what nutritional yeast was so i just looked it up and it looks like it's actually yeast that's nutritional uh-huh that's crazy yeah and it's dang tastes very good on popcorn dude should we buy this stuff and start putting on our own popcorn? Is that good for your gut biome, your flora? It's nutritional, so you tell me, David. I'm asking you. You're the gut guy.

I have no idea. I regret eating popcorn every time I eat it. I'm not the gut guy. Weren't you on Global Guts as a kid? Uh-huh. Dude, you have it. What? You didn't have a popover?

What event? I don't even know what that is. It's the bread thing. The bread thing that they give you. Oh yeah, I had one. It was good. You get that whipped butter up in there? I didn't want to overdo it. We did multiple courses. Like apps. It must be nice.

It was a birthday celebration. Out of all the Global Guts things, the events, which one would you have most wanted to do? I don't remember them. I can only remember them walking over the rope ladder. What about the one where they were strapped to a bungee cord and they had to go dunk? So one person had to dunk and the other person was trying to

Dikembe Motomo you. Yeah, that would be the game that I would embarrass people in. What about the kayak one? Where they all got in that pool and just started kayaking? I'm a problem on the kayak. If we did the aggro crag, am I getting last place between us three? I'm not willing to say that. No, the look on your face says it all.

No, but Dylan, you've got to wonder if Dylan's durable enough to make it through the course. What does that mean? You question my durability? I don't remember any of these events, by the way. It's because you didn't have a childhood. Well, I did. So mean.

I had a childhood. I regret saying that to you. Because, like, it's not facts. You had a childhood. I did grow up, yeah. You weren't just... Well, yeah, you said earlier you hit puberty. What was that like for you?

It was great, man. Weren't you, like, 10? No. You weren't an early pube boy i was pretty normal pube guy well you did you have that did you have the friend who hit it early and it made you like really like sad that you hadn't hit it and like every morning you're checking my friend anthony who hit it very early and he had like our Little League home run record. He started at quarterback. Just a freak athlete. Had armpit hair in second grade. That's too early.

Yeah. Wait, I was the first one of my friends. He matured very early. I was the first one of my friends with hairy legs. I bet you hated that, didn't you? I did. I did, yeah. I wasn't proud.

My leg hair was blonde for a long time. That's nice. And then I switched over, and now it's just unsightly. That's sick. Did he peak in ninth grade and then stop growing and everybody caught up to him? Or did he continue being a mega athlete? Eighth grade. Eighth grade.

Oh, that's tough. He started on our varsity football team. And to be fair, it was a bad football program. But he started for varsity as a freshman at, like, safety, I want to say. Because he was, like, just a freak. But he stopped growing, you know. Shouts to Anthony, though. Yeah.

Shout out to your early puberty. Yeah. He used to hit fucking piss missiles. What if Anthony's just sitting at his desk right now and he's like, why are they talking about my puberty? He lives on the coast now. Actually, he rents jet skis. Fuck yes, he's Dan.

This dude rules. He's living Dan's dream. Wait, the Texas coast? Uh-huh. Okay. Yeah. Port A area, I want to say? Yeah.

I'm over Port B, guys. You're singing my song. I'm over USB port guy myself You're singing my song. I'm over USB Port guy myself. Okay. Saturday, man. Guys, I just watch football all day. Dude, that's epic. Pretty sick.

That's so sick. Yeah, you know. We didn't stray. I was kind of itching to get out and get a beer, but it wasn't really going to happen. I couldn't make it to lunch with the lads. But it was fine. Yeah, you kind of bitched out on that lunch, dog.

I never was in on it. I was just like, I can't. There was too many things against me. I was getting smoked. Dude, I was trying to set you up for success. What'd you do? I hung out with the Battletoad Bad Boy on Friday night. We decided to do something that Mike and I have done a weird amount of times lately, and that's

we split an entree together, but it was an entree meant for two. If you guys remember, Mike and I split a pig's head when we were in New Orleans. Worst order of all time. Dude, what a terrible, disgusting order. Yeah, and so we knew we had to upgrade ourselves. Let me just cut through this

pig's face and get to some meat that's not even good. Yeah, that's what's up. Awful. And so then we decided to try to re-up and do better. Because that's all you can do in life is just be better, you know? Did you get octopus? No, so we mashed that porterhouse bun and we split that together. That dude loves a porterhouse.

I know, and that's why I knew he was going to be in on the idea. So I was like, Michael, let's split the porterhouse. Which side did you get? I don't know. Did you get the fattier side or the leaner side? Oh, I thought you meant which side's with the steak. Oh, no, no, no. I was like, I don't know. Pasta?

No, they cut it all up prematurely, so we just kind of took it off the plate and just went in on it together. We got in our bag on Friday night, so I was licking the wounds a little bit on Saturday morning. Woke up and decided to send a text to the squad, invite everyone to Matt's El Rancho.

Dylan accepted said invite. We had a really good time. I had one margarita, took a nap afterwards. Fritz threw me a bone and took a two-hour nap while I needed a nap. Huge. Cute scene at Matt's, man. It was. It was.

I'm kind of picturing you and Mike, a lady in the tramping, that porterhouse. We did. Just hands-free, just going at it, like looking each other in the eyes, just ripping pieces of meat off of you. We put the bone in, like, we put one side of the bone in his mouth and one side in mine, and then we met in the middle and kissed while the bone was still in our mouth. It was cool. Fun time.

A bone in. Yeah. And then, you know, Sunday, we were just absolutely out here. You see your boys, dude? Dude, the boys were just running. Yeah, I was playing in a golf tournament at the time. No word on whether or not we won or not yet. What did y'all shoot?

Not well. I think we were 13 over. Alternate shots, not easy, especially when one of your partners sucks. You were saying Drew's terrible. Dude, you can't get into rhythm. It's fun because it tests you, but I had trouble getting into a rhythm for a little bit, and so I was just

like, I mean, going up and hitting your first drive after, you know, not hitting a drive for five holes, it's like, it's hard on you. It wears on the brain. I have one question about your round. Who teed off on one? Was it a shotgun start, first of all? So I have two questions.

Nope, not shotgun. Okay, so who teed off on one, and where did you go? I teed off on one. I hit it in the fairway, but the damn tree at the dog leg took a nice approach out of it for Drew, and so he had to just run it on up there, and we bogeyed number one. My drive from the tee box looked perfect. Number one at Lions. That tree will get you.

It sucks, dude. That hole scares me. It would be too bad if, like, you know, it randomly got, you know, taken out. Wow. So you're not calling for a safe uni. No, no. I want the course to be saved, but if that tree randomly got struck by lightning, or if, like, some angry dude just went and, like, took a chains a chainsaw to it, I don't think I'd be that upset.

Wow. Sheesh. Yeah. Maybe I should have just gone for the green. I'm deep like that. It's a pretty tough ask. We did something no one's doing last night. You ever heard of Zuppa Toscana, Dave?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We made that. Yeah, it's one of my favorite dishes to make. Oh, from the homeland, dude. Zuppa, what are they called? Have you ever been to Olive Garden? It's their trademark soup.

Oh. Made it last night. Was this a defined dish? No. I don't know. Lily made it. She just came over and started making stuff in my kitchen, and I didn't say anything because I was like, you know what?

When a nice young lady starts cooking in your kitchen, you just let her go at it. I was her sous chef. I cleaned up behind the entire time. Oh, that pan needs cleaning? Bring it over here. Will, I got to tell you the truth. Oh, Zeppa Toscana. Okay.

Okay. Come on, dude. I've never had this. Oh! I've never had this. Yeah, I don't think it's actually like an Italian classic or anything. I think it's just something that Olive Garden made into a thing. It literally means Tuscan soup.

Yeah, it's soup from Tuscany. A lot of bread. Or from Trader Joe's, like we did last night. Was it Whole30 approved? I don't think so. It upset my tummy a little bit. No tum-tums? My little tummy was having an issue last night.

Okay. My tummy. Oh, jeez. No, but honestly, the biggest part of the weekend, I'd like to thank everyone out there for supporting it, was just the simple fact that I got to enjoy my weekend ratioing Dylan once again. Uh-huh. You guys need to settle this beef.

I didn't go into the weekend thinking that I was going to ratio Dylan all weekend, but sometimes the ratio just comes to you. You know I had a tough weekend, man. I didn't know that Texas was going to lose to one of the worst football programs in the nation when I decided to ratio you. That's a great point. Had I known that that was going to happen, I wouldn't have ratioed you, Dylan. Oh, but yet you kept doing it even after the game had concluded.

I couldn't stop. So I don't know what you're saying. I couldn't stop, man. It just be like that sometimes, you know? I was throwing a straight gas on the T.O. over the weekend, too. You still ratioed. I don't know, dude. I think your Twitter's had a recent downgrade.

You picked your spots, though. You didn't attempt that one. Hey, man, I said I respected that tweet. I knew the second it came off your fingers, I was like, yeah, I can't compete with this. Who is that guy? Dylan almost didn't even post it. You almost didn't post it. Yeah.

Or like, dude, that's his... I don't like being voiced over video guy on the TL. It was a good play. If you do it and if you pick your spots, it's a really funny bit. You do know that you make a living using your voice. You're allowed to do it on the TL, too. I'm still gun shy about it. You should have TikTok'd it. TikTok, you don't stop. Actually, yeah.'re allowed to do it on the TL2. I'm still gun-shy about that. You should have TikTok'd it.

TikTok, you don't stop. Actually, yeah. Should we just toss it on the TikTok? Should we what? We need to TikTok that. Should we TikTok that? Yeah, I think we should TikTok that. Randy?

That shit might have sailed, but... Randy? TikTok. Randy? TikTok. TikTok. Randy doesn't give a fuck. Randy's zoned out.

Randy's Tetris over there. Randy's probably getting a gram... Randy gets a gram off every Monday episode, I feel like. He's about to get a worst one off. How did he not wear his hot dog costume to Worst Fest? Oh, my gosh. What a miss from Randy. What are you doing?

You know what Randy probably did wear, though? Because he's been wearing them a lot lately? His Rothy's shoes. You guys ever hear this big news in shoes? Rothy's is now selling men's sneakers and men's driving loafers. Even more big news. They just launched premium Merino wool shoes for fall. You guys familiar with Merino wool? My favorite material on sweaters, and now it's on a shoe. How about that?

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Probably. She loves Rothy's. My mom is the number one Rothy's stan. When I told her we had the sponsorship, she said, can you get me some? I was like, no, mom, it doesn't work like that. Maybe if you hosted one podcast, one single podcast, we could get you some. She knows it as much as anybody. They offer

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I can't stop wearing them. I stepped out in them this weekend. Yeah, I did. Is that facts? I wore them to math with you, dog. I noticed. I tried to spill some salsa on them just to test how cleanable they were. How would you do that?

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Is that what their genre is? I believe so. I didn't think we were going to see much peeing on people's faces on the TL this weekend, but it was pretty much all my TL was. She had a full tank, it looked like. Dave, you were a fan of this band before.

You were kind of thinking that they were going to have a big weekend. I don't know how accurate that is. I was actually unfamiliar with this band until Saturday morning when I did my rollover and open up Twitter. And quite literally the first thing I saw, first or second tweet, was a video of the band. Are you guys familiar?

Brass Against. Now Brass Against is, as Dylan stated, they are a genre called horny metal per their bio. What's the horniest metal? Titanium. Probably mercury. Or uranium. Ooh, uranium might be good. Sure. A couple fun facts about Brass Against.

They have joined, they will be joining Tool, noted rock band Tool, for their spring tour across Europe next, I guess, March. So that'll be fun for them. And they were playing Rockville, which is a concert in Florida. I believe it's Daytona.

Gainesville, Rock City? Here is the tweet that they sent out after the show. We had a great time last night at Welcome to Rockville. Sophia got carried away. That's not something the rest of us expected, and it's not something you'll see again at our shows. Thanks for bringing it last night, Daytona. So the got carried away part, of course,

refers to her emptying her bladder onto a man's face on stage. Yeah. Is that what they were talking about? I didn't know if she missed a few notes or something. No. She pulled her pants down, squatted over somebody who was laying down on the ground. A fan. And she urinated all over his face.

She didn't just urinate on him. He loved it. She waterboarded that man. I'm not trying to justify her actions or anything. It was consenting urination. Do we know if she drank a bottle of wine before the show and was human decanting this for him? That is a fair point. I can't verify that that's what did or did not happen.

Let me just tell you, there are a number of videos on the T.O. if you really want to see them. And it is... The contents of her bladder, all of it ended up on this man's face. And he was so into he was this guy could not have been more excited oh i don't know has anybody heard from this guy yet he was apparently a fan i don't know how this came about like he just gets up on the stage and lays down as if he's expecting it and you see her and the funny thing is she's singing uh she's doing a cover of a uh an old

rage against the machine favorite called wake up you might remember it from the final scene of the original matrix um and she's singing a different song and she just casually undoing her pants while she's hitting the notes and then just next thing you know this guy this guy's getting waterboarded keep singing as she's uhinating. Very good. Well, yeah, she's a professional. I've always said when I peed mid-podcast, I try to keep potting the entire time. And I believe she's dating a Peloton instructor. She is, which surprised me. Alex?

I don't know the name. Oh, man, what is it? I've done one of her rides, and it was a lot. She has a DJ, like a live DJ, which I kind of respect. What's her name? Sophia got carried away is what they said. Some people in our group text were trying to meme it. I was like, we cannot post that.

But just know that, you know, do we put this on RTL? Like so people who haven't seen it. I mean, because Twitter hasn't taken it down. Yeah, just know if you're put this on RTL? Like, so people who haven't seen it? Mm-mm. I'm good. Because Twitter hasn't taken it down. Yeah, just know, if you're out there and you're looking for it, like, just go find it yourself. This band looks like a band that would be really fun in concert. They do a lot of covers.

They have some originals. They cover, like, a lot of old metal, but they do it in a way. Obviously, Sofia is the lead singer. They do it in a horny way. They have horn section. Maybe that's what they meant. Oh. So their entire thing is like a brass band and drummer. I think the horniest metal is brass.

It's literally got the word acid in it. It's like a double entendre or something. That makes sense. Ambiguous, if you will. Are they a cover band of Rise Against? Maybe they have that in their catalog. I've heard them cover Rage and Tool. Go watch the video and really look at if you can really watch the guys like the tuba players face as this

is happening it's it's it's they're puzzled but it's like they're not surprised they're like yeah you know i didn't i didn't know it was gonna be denied but like this this makes sense like at some point she was gonna urinate on a fan's face I just don't get how you get to that point. How do you get from just performing a song and being like, oh, I'm pissing now. Gotta be Molly. It's drug-induced. It has to be.

Do you remember the video from a few months back of the bar? It's also in Florida. The young lady. I think it was in Florida. Yeah. The young lady was just really feeling herself. Oh, yeah. In broad daylight.

Just in broad daylight just really feeling herself. Oh, yeah. In broad daylight. Just in broad daylight. Literally feeling herself. And she just absolutely just dumps it on the floor there. Anyway, that was apparently Molly. This seemed like a similar situation. Because you don't do this sober. You don't do this with a clear head. Right?

No. I hope not anyway. And what they choose to do in front of an audience of thousands, consensually, is their business. Sure. The guy's just pumping his fist. It's like the guys on Christmas morning. This is going to benefit them in the long run.

That wasn't the first time that man was pissed on. No. Which is concerning. Can someone explain to me why was he lying on the ground even to begin with? That's what I'm saying. Did they set this up because he wanted to get pissed on? Did she hit prompt the crowd, who wants to get pissed on this song? He was expecting one of two things.

Either for her to sit on his face. Rashiki him. Okay. Or to piss on his face. He got the latter. What if she Rashikied him, Dave? I don't know what that means. Honestly, what's worse or better?

Dude, tell me you didn't watch WWE growing up. I didn't watch WWE growing up. This guy, I'm back to believing that you came through a portal. I was never into wrestling. Jeez. So you don't know Rashiki's trademark move where he would just jump on your face and smother it with his ass? Oh, I've seen a clip.

If you were in the corner, like leaned against the turnbuckle, he'd put that thing in your face. I was a Jake the Snake guy. You would be. He had that big-ass snake with him. That was the thing about him. That's where he got the name. I don't do snakes.

I don't either. But he was kind of tight. What kind of, like, what special access did this guy have? Like, what kind of wristband did he have to get this? He that p access yeah he had the vip unlimited drinks access the vip ee that's good that's good what do you do after that if you're him you go back in the crowd they're like dude uh you don't just go like take your spot back in the crowd you don't something tells me if he did get back in the crowd, it would be very easy for him to navigate his way towards the front again.

His shirt was absolutely soaked with paste. Just drenched. They should put that in the Smithsonian. No. They should put that in the garbage. Yeah, it's probably a better choice. I can't tell you how jarring this was to see. Dude, it made me feel ill when you guys sent it to me.

I was like, why is this happening? Why is this random lady doing this? Heavy metal. Horny metal. Horny metal, Dave. A band out of New York City. New York City? If you could have any lead from any band piss on your face, who would it be?

Ooh. Wow. I didn't prepare for this one. Taylor Swift? I don't know. Okay. Who would you pick? Insane Clown Posse?

Harry Styles. Okay. I might choose... Okay. I might choose Joe C. from Kid Rock's band, May He Rest In Peace. Well, yeah. He's 3'9 with a 10-foot piece.

A lot of people don't know that. There's no way it was 10 feet. That's too big. He said it was 10 feet. You're going to question him? You're going to question Josie? That's fair. I shouldn't question him.

It's like a fruit roll-up. I got to say, who's the most hydrated? I want the most hydrated person if I have to find myself in this situation. So I'm going to the Rolling Stones this weekend. If Mick Jagger pisses on me, can I have a week myself in this situation. If I get – so I'm going to the Rolling Stones this weekend. If Mick Jagger pisses on me, can I have like a week vacation? Sure. Dude, that thing's going to take a week.

Do you know how old he is? Yeah, it'd be sputtering out. It's leaking out. It'd be sputtering pretty hard. Y'all are disgusting. Hey, mate, come over here. This conversation is terrible. Well, you're the one who offered the hypothetical.

I don't think I did. You know what I could use right now? Coffee? Cup of coffee? Are we moving on? We're done with the pee-pee seg? You got more pee-pee talking? No, I don't. Would you guys consider yourselves certified coffee nerds or self-professed coffee newbies?

Which one would you be? I'm more trending toward nerd, but I'm not super into the weeds of it. You're trying to get deeper in the game? Yeah. I'm in the experimental phase. I want to try different coffees and settle on one I really love. I'm pretty deep in the game. I just don't like to talk about it.

Dude, I get it. You know what I mean? I get it. Exactly. Exactly like that, actually. Dude, I get it. You know what I mean? I get it. Exactly. Exactly like that, actually. Well, let me introduce you to Trade. Trade's goal is to make every cup of coffee your best ever. The journey to your perfect cup starts with taking their coffee quiz.

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Dylan, you're showing your ass right now. When you said earlier that you weren't an expert, you're kind of showing your true colors. Yeah. Explain. Can we just explain the difference? Well, don't let him bully you into this. I'm not going to mansplain you into this, Dylan.

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Trade. Talk about a great gift. Right? It's literally the gift that keeps on giving. Yeah. Enjoy. Didn't you say you tried the sofia it was dripping i didn't say that she got a little carried away guys a little bit so what david can we go if she if they come through austin we gotta go i'm bringing a poncho if we do i'm going going Gallagher. I'm going straight up Gallagher show. I'm putting like...

You're gonna bring a clear tarp? Yeah. It's like being front row at Shamu or whatever, SeaWorld. Yeah, you're gonna get soaked. You're like, oh, we are in the splash zone. Uh-huh. Oh, goodness. We're about to do another polarizing food draft.

No. Yeah, as you guys know, Dylan absolutely botched his Halloween candy draft, and so we thought we'd give him a little reprieve by doing a Thanksgiving snake draft. Thanksgiving is imminent. What I think I did more than anything with my candy picks were open some eyes for people who didn't previously know about some fantastic candies out there. You convinced like five people that Charleston Chews didn't suck. And they're so good.

And for the record, I don't think they suck. I think they're just a fine candy that no one's really eating anymore. You're a fine candy. Thank you. I'm going to eat you up. All right. I'm going to eat you. I'm going to eat you. Come on. I'm going to eat you. All right,. I'm going to eat you. I'm going to eat you.

Come on. I'm going to eat you. All right, so let's do a Thanksgiving food snake draft. Are you scared? Why would I be scared? Because you absolutely botched the last one. How did we decide the order last time? Did we have Randy?

We did a number between 1 and 10? Is that what we did? I think so. Do you guys call it dressing or stuffing, or do you think those are two different things? You know, I understand why people say that they're two different things, but at the end of the day, it's the same thing to me, to me at least. I call it dressing.

I couldn't tell you a difference. I call it stuffing. I'll give you something to stuff. I prefer the stuff straight out of the bird, though. Don't ask. You want it straight out of the bird? That was unintentional. Did your computer just hop off the desk?

It did. That was really weird. Yeah. Just, sorry. I need a new computer now. No you don't you have a touchscreen. You have a touchscreen broken Are you also having trouble getting stuff and I can't Yahoo Yahoo search. Okay. I can't figure out I guess I need a new computer It's like $80 Was like nine years old. Oh no my computer. That's how you were last week for real, though. Remember I tried to format that file for you and you just wouldn't do it? Yeah. I will say this.

If I need to format a file, Dylan, you're one of the last people in the company that I'm going to to help format that file. Dude, I can format a file. Can you? Because it sounds like you botched it last week. I can do an audio file. I don't know if you can do that. I don't know. All right do that. I don't know. All right, so what's going on here?

Randy, choose a number between 1 and 10, and at the same time, we will all say our numbers, and the closest one gets to go first. I'm thinking of my number. Okay, I'm ready. I'm ready as well. Dave, are you ready? Dave, you boy.

Hold on. Are we going to say it at the same time? Yeah. Okay. All right, ready? 1, you boy. Hold on. Are we going to say it at the same time? Yeah. Okay. All right. Ready? One, two, three, two. Ooh, I said six.

Dave was... Oh, wow. Okay, Dylan goes first because he was under. Dave goes next, and then I'm last. I nailed it right on. I said six. Yeah. Oh.

All right. It goes... Go ahead, Butt Modge. Dave, or Dylan, Dave, me. Okay? Yeah. Oh. All right. It goes. Go ahead, Buttmunch. Dave or Dylan. Dave, me. Okay, question. I have two very important questions. Are these side dishes only or is turkey on the table?

Oh, my God. No, turkey's on the table, dude. Okay, second question. If it's on the table, you can eat it. I have a second question. I have a second answer. Whose doesn't count, Dylan? Does dessert count, David?

Yes. Yes, it does. Son of a gun. Yes, it does. I have a believable question. I, David? Yes, it does. Son of a gun. Yes, it does. Unbelievable. I want to get ahead of it here. I have less confidence in myself this time around than I had last time. Last time I crushed it.

Oh, gosh. I'm so excited. Mine's going to be the best by a long shot. Are we ready? Number one is dressing. Fuck. Dressing is just an undefeated Thanksgiving meal

dish a little gravy on it David a little grave if you didn't choose that as your first one you would have opened yourself up a lot

to a lot of criticism and I think for me it's number one solely because you don't eat it any other time of the year yeah it's so good

it's so good guys I don't even know what dressing is because I am a stuffing boy. I say stuffing. You're about to go cranberry sauce, aren't you, you freaking idiot? No, I'm intentionally avoiding that because I don't want you to sing. I read an exit survey on Patreon the other day that said they sing too much. And they mainly meant you, I'm sure.

Really? They didn't say that. They said they, but I'm assuming that's you. They canceled because of my singing. Our singing. Okay, you got to think. Said they stopped singing. You got to think that.

Cancel the Patreon. Of the one cancellation we've gotten, I've also probably brought in, I don't know. I've never seen that in a survey. We've done surveys. No one's like, man, Dylan's voice has just got me hooked. It's in your head. I'm addicted to Dylan's voice. Okay, go ahead, Davey.

Well, boy, whoever's dog is losing their shit out there is going to get Randy banned from here. They're going to do a blanket ban on dogs because of this one bad apple. A blanket ban. I brought Rosie in here one time and one time only. It's because she stood at the door barking at everyone that walked by. I was like, yeah, I can't do that anymore. I'm going to bring Stella up here one day. one time only it's because she stood at the door barking everyone that walked by i was like yeah i can't do that anymore i'm gonna bring stella up here one day go ahead that isn't anything like the movie what you just did there i didn't want to was an affront to the movie um man well i'm gonna i'm gonna spare everyone i'm not gonna do

stuffing because people like well it's the same as number one. So I'm going to get real loco, and this is going to be controversial. But I don't care because for me, nothing hits quite like a good green bean casserole. It's a good one, Dave. With the little fried onions mixed in, you get that, oh, baby. I would venture to say that the best part of the green bean casserole is the fried onions. Yeah. Without it, you feel like you're just eating healthy foods until you smother it in gravy.

That's a good call, David. Son of a bitch. Did I take yours? You know, we were there. But I get to choose two right now, right? Because it's a snake draft. You go back to back. That's how it works, dude.

You're in a great spot here. I'm in a real good spot. All right. I'm going mashed potatoes with my number one pick. You know your boy likes some mashers. Not the potatoes I would have gone with, but that's a good choice. I absolutely agree with you, Will. I'm going mashed potatoes.

And I'm definitely taking the spoon and I'm definitely taking the spoon, and I'm driving it in there so I can make a nice little gravy bowl for myself. Yep. My number two pick. I'm eating it up like I'm on stage at a Brass Against show. You need to chill, David. You need to chill. I love mashed potatoes.

I love fried chicken. I love frittata. I'm going with my second pick. And this is my final good pick. This is going to be a super mid pick. And this is my final good pick. This is going to be a super mid pick. I can tell. Pumpkin pie.

Oh. Wow, you're going pie this early in the draft. This guy don't care. I'm going pie this early in the draft. Wow. Second round pie. There's a pie off the board. And guess what, Dylan?

Is that why you're taking a defense? I'm taking my parents' world famous homemade whipped cream, and I'm putting a dollop up on that motherfucker. Bae's making pumpkin pie. What did you just say? For Thanksgiving. I'm pretty stoked for it. I love pumpkin pie. Dude, are you a dollop boy or not?

No. I love pumpkin pie, but it's not my favorite Thanksgiving pie. I don't know. Dylan, you're bearing the lead. He's going to put a dollop up on that motherfucker. I heard him. I was trying to gloss over it. A dollop up on that motherfucker. I heard him. I was trying to gloss over it. A dollop.

On that motherfucker. Whoop. Whoop. There's going to be a little tail at the top. Just one dollop. Curls over. It's a big dollop, Dylan. You don't know how big my dollops can get.

Dave, go, bitch. Oh, yeah. It's back to you, dog. Is it me? Dave's got an opportunity here to take something off the board that I know Dylan's looking at. I got reserves. Guys, I'm a traditionalist. I believe in just sitting around the table, carving it up and passing it around.

Hit your boy with a little dark meat because I'm going turkey. I'm going turkey. I'm going turkey. Yeah, I'm going turkey. You know what? A lot of people don't like the turkey. There's different ways to prepare it. Some people fry it. Some people smoke it. Some people just do it with the turkey. I'm going with the turkey. Yeah, I'm going turkey. You know what? A lot of people don't like the turkey. There's different ways to prepare it. Some people fry it.

Some people smoke it. Some people just do it in the oven. I'm a dark boy. Dylan, you microwave your turkey, interestingly enough. I'm a dark boy. How long do you have to do the microwave for when you do your turkey? I'll go ahead and say white turkey meat is way too dry. I don't mess with it.

You got to cover it in the gray. Hey, I'll take the drumstick off your hands. I'll do it. I don't care. So I've gotten to the point where my niece is competing for the drumsticks with me. She's a drumstick gal. And I'm kind of like, okay, I don't want to be the jerk here, but you better eat it all if you're getting it. Because I want it too, you know.

All right, my next pick. There's two. With the last pick in the second round. Both. I'm deciding between two potato dishes, all right? Both of which I like more than mashed potatoes, although I do love mashed potatoes. I'm deciding between. Well, the mashed potatoes are mine, so back off.

I'm deciding between potatoes au gratin and sweet potato casserole. Okay. My only issue here is that I think sweet potato casserole is in the conversation as being a side dish for Thanksgiving. But I don't think potatoes au gratin are a traditional side dish. If I knew au gratins were there, I would have taken them ahead of pumpkin pie. Is au gratin on the board? I think it is. I think we've had au gratin at my house.

I've had them. You guys win. Majority rules. Potatoes au gratin. Fuck. I love potatoes au gratin. With my third round pick, I'm probably going to go. It's either like a beer roll or pecan pie.

I think we're going pecan pie, which is the goat pie of the season. My dad makes a pecan bourbon chocolate pie, and it hits so different. I don't want chocolate on my pecan pie. Oui. Yeah. Oh, I'm not crying. I don't want it. I'm not whining.

I'm looking at a map here, guys, each state's most most popular thanksgiving side yeah and i'm not here to roast anybody but once we get to the midwest oklahoma's is baked potato no no one's doing baked potatoes at their thanksgiving oklahoma you're canceled not only do your joints wrong but you do your fucking potatoes wrong boys prepare the feast all wrong Feast on Rome. Okay. That's how I feel. Oh, Will, I'm sorry. Yeah. What? Shouts to Michigan.

Why is Michigan's also baked potato? No, Michigan. Is that not Michigan? Michigan's is roll. What's that? That's Wisconsin, David. What are you doing? I was looking at the mitten.

I hate you. I hate you. I was looking at the mitten. Dude, I'm going to fight you. Hey, what's your pick, dog? Gravy. What? Gravy's not pick, dog? Gravy. What? Gravy's not a side dish.

Gravy is a vital part of the meal. Dylan, I hate to break it to you, but I'm siding with Dave here because gravy is more than just about being on mashed potatoes. It leads its way into almost everything on the plate. Gravy accompanies a dish. No, gravy for me is a standalone thing. It's like saying salt and pepper. No, it's not. It kind of is. You have to cook it. Don't push it, Dylan. You don't cook salt. Hey, gravy for me is a standalone thing. It's like saying salt and pepper. No, it's not. It kind of is.

You have to cook it. Don't push it, Bill. You don't cook salt. Hey, it's your shitty pick. I'll let you have it. People are going to agree. People are not going to agree, David. Dylan, trust me.

Wow, you just really embarrassed yourself. I hope you're happy. Wow. I don't know what to do from here, man. I'm struggling now because I don't have a lot of top picks on the TL right now. There's one glaring omission in the draft currently. All right. I'm going dinner rolls.

Okay. Shout out to Brian McGannon who ate 19 once. He needs to address that rumor again. Please readdress that rumor. I'm going dinner rolls. There's nothing wrong with that. And for my final pick in the draft, this is hard. This is really hard.

I'm absolutely crushing you on this draft. I'm going to go with, for my final pick, I already have a potato thing, so I can't go sweet potato casserole. I'm going to have to hit him with the cream corn. Oh, wee. Oh, oh. That is the – You're so ridiculous.

No one had me getting that this late. They won fucking gravy in the third round What are you doing? No, that's a good Dude, that's a good one Dude, you are so wrong on this Your meal is only as good as it's gravy You're embarrassing this entire podcast Especially like when you're eating white meat

You're not going to cover that in gravy? No, I am, but it's not There you go You don't pick that in the draft You're telling on yourself, son Damn Did you not understand the assignment? I do enjoy gravy.

I even said it's going on my dressing. It's accompanying my dressing. Oh, my God, Dave. Don't do it. Something's taking over my hand. You need to roast it. You need to roast yourself, dog. I want to double hit Joe back.

I don't know shit about this. No, you can't double roast Hannah's back, dude. It's coming right at you. My right hand just got taken over. Dave, have you made your last pick yet? No, we're still doing somebody else's. Oh, my gosh. So is it my pick?

Yeah. Man, we've kind of hit to the... I've covered pretty much everything I eat. Dude, are you Googling string beans right now? You're down bad. You've got string beans up here. I'm notling string beans right now? You're down bad. You've got string beans up here. I'm not doing string beans. I am going to do something a little bit controversial here.

And to preface this and buy myself some more time to find what I'm looking for, I'm not here to say that one region has superior Thanksgiving to another because I think they're all good. Much like tailgating and Michael Bud Light's ultimate tailgater, all tailgates are good. All Thanksgiving meals are good. And in doing so, I think it's time we give a little bit of love to something that I don't think everyone's doing, but mac and cheese. Oh, fuck.

I was going to say baked mac and cheese as my last pick oh but sorry you got cucked i did get cucked hey how's it feel no it's you i got you with the roast you can't swerve the roast pan dude damn you took my last pick dog that's right i got a piv now fucking jeremy piven over here dude when he goes in with a paintball gun and just starts shooting up his employees, that scene is epic. You ever do cornbread for Thanksgiving? No, but I think that's an acceptable thing.

You could say it and you won't get laughed out of the gym like you did last time. Cornbread's acceptable. I'm going with those buttery-ass dinner rolls, though. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's that or cranberry sauce, which no one's doing. I could see you liking that. Yeah, I'm going to go cornbread.

I don't know if it has, you know, it's cornbread. No, it's fine. It's either that or like a roasted brussies with like bacon. That's pretty fucked up. You know I can't eat brussies with bacon. That's pretty fucked up. You know I can't eat brussies with my diverticulitis. It's a trigger food. Why would you even say that on the podcast? We talked about this before the podcast that we weren't allowed to talk about Dave's divertic.

Should I go brussies? Yeah, go brussies. I already have cornbread written down for you, so if you want to go back. Oh, no, no. It's on the board. You turned your pick in. Oh, no. I'll take cornbread.

You just drafted Manziel first round. Sally made some super mid cornbread rolls the other day for our chili. I'm going cornbread. They're just not good. No, they were so dry. Pretty hard to beat. They were so dry. Big-ass thing of butter on top just melting all over it.

Oh, let's fucking go. Calm down over there. You guys want the final reading of what we all picked? Dylan came through with stuffing slash dressing. Potatoes au gratin, pecan pie, and cornbread. Ooh, that's fucking cool. Dave ran through with what I think is probably the most complete plate on the menu right now. Thank you, Will, for knowing that.

He's got the green bean casserole, the turkey, the gravy, and the mac and cheese. And I have kind of just a random smathering of mashed potatoes, pumpkin pie, dinner rolls, and creamed corn. That's not bad. You're clearly in third place, Will. I don't know if that's clear. We'll let the people on Instagram decide. Glaring omission, and I may get roasted for this. Pumpkin pie.

I said pumpkin pie, dude. You said pecan pie. No, I said pumpkin. I said pecan pie. Oh. I chose pumpkin pie with my second dog. That's a good play. You could have gone apple pie instead of gravy.

You would have had number one. I only go, I'm pumpkin pie with my second dog. That's a good plate. You could have gone apple pie instead of gravy. You would have had number one. I only go, I'm pumpkin pie or die. That's the only pie I traditionally will eat. Apple pie has no place at my table. Oh, I love apple pie. No, I bet you do. I've seen the movie. You probably have super mid-apple pie.

The apples aren't even cooked all the way through. They're all crispy and shit. You fuck it up. Tell the story about your mom walking in on you. David, we're not doing the American pie thing. What are you talking about? Apple pies I'm talking about. Bye-bye, Miss American Pie.

Just lost another listener. Throw the Chevy to the levee. Two listeners. But the levee was dry. Good old boy. Do people still put pies on windowsills with the window open? Hard to say. Not since 1935.

I've always wanted to do that. Yeah, not since Lassie stopped being a television show. Fucking Yogi Bearills with the window open. Hard to say. Not since 1935. I've always wanted to do that. Yeah, not since Lassie stopped being a television show. Fucking Yogi Bear comes up and steals it. You're like, what the fuck? If I walk by

a window and there's an apple pie sitting there, I'm taking that pie. What are you doing with it? I'm going to eat it. I'm going to eat it. I'm going to take it home

and I'm going to cut it up and I'm going to fucking eat it. Because I love, I love pie. Relax. Stop trying to make up for. Because I love pot. Relax. Stop trying to make up for your singing by doing that. Bye. No, no, no, no. Miss American Pie.

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Visit expressvpn.com slash steam to learn more. Got a special guest in the building right now. Can I ask him a question before we get started? I was going to do the same thing. What's your favorite Thanksgiving pie? Ooh, favorite Thanksgiving pie would be pecan. My dog. Let's get it.

Chocolate is close. All right, Brett, if you happen to be in a snake draft of everything from Thanksgiving, what would be

your first off the board? What do you mean every, like food? Yes. Any Thanksgiving food? I mean, this is going to be

I love mac and cheese on Thanksgiving. Okay. Make my dad's mac and cheese. Kind of a steal in the fourth round for me. It's cliche. It's like, ooh, Thanksgiving mac and cheese. I don't like turkey very much.

Dave serves Easy Mac at his Thanksgiving dinner. Oh, we're suddenly throwing shade at Easy Mac. You do the microwave? Huh? I mean, quick and easy. Yeah, we're doing it. Ooh. Yeah, when you're making your mac and cheese for your meal,

how do you find room in the microwave? Do you have numerous microwaves set up in your kitchen? Yeah, I've got one for the weekend. That is always like a fun, like whoever's making the, if it's a large Thanksgiving, like the fights over the oven at what time. Oh, dude. It's just a war zone. It always works, but it's like, oh, I need 375 for 30 minutes.

Sally gets so gun shy when we're doing Thanksgiving at my parents' house because she doesn't want to be the person like cucking the oven, but she also knows that like we need that oven. Right. Another oven. Actually, we deep fried a turkey last year. That was to Caroline's dad. Really good. First time I've ever done that or been a part of that.

I've never done it before. Made it better. I'm very intrigued by it because I've never i've never done it before made it better i'm very intrigued by because i've never heard anyone say anything negative oh and stuffing stuffing fucked correct how would you feel about someone choosing gravy as their dish for the draft um well okay you can't have a thanksgiving meal without gravy so it's should be allowed but it's for it it accompanies dishes dylan dylan just because you eat that dry-ass meat. But it's on no gravy. Does it have its own space on the table?

Oh, it has the nice little... Gravy ladle? The ladle. Gravy boat. Oh, gravy boat. Maybe a boat. Fine China. Did I file an HR complaint?

Oh, shit. Do you want to do this now? I'm the HR guy. Is this because Randy? Dylan, yes, this is about Randy Trimbadgie. Yeah. Hold on, let me get my notes out. Is he strutting that ass again?

No, he was droning excessively in the office on Thursday. That's a hazard. He's a big droner. He was droning right in my grill. He said, film it, too. There's video evidence. I saw it, yeah. I saw it, too.

Droners happen. I just want to say, if that was to make contact with, I don't know, like my finger, maybe an eyeball, there'd be problems. I will reprimand him accordingly. Thank you. Who wins? Considering no injuries were sustained, I think I'm going to uphold Randy's status as the drone guy.

Who wins in an office off? The drone or Spinny Boy? Spinny Boy. People forget about Spinny Boy. No one forgets about Spinny Boy. The second that drone stepped foot in this office, I started talking to Randy about Spinny Boy? Spinny Boy. People forget about Spinny Boy. No one forgets about Spinny Boy. The second that drone stepped foot in this office, I started talking to Randy about Spinny Boy. Spinny Boy was so fun.

Spinny Boy lost his tail at one point. We had to tape it back together. We put it back together and it worked. Yeah. Okay, let's do breaking news. Spinny Boy. Dave, as the winner of the Thanksgiving snake draft, would you like to go?

Okay. I don't know if we have a certified winner quite yet. Well, Brett. Dylan won. Would you like to go? Here we go again. Nothing good happens after midnight or Judgment Day. That's cryptic.

Let's start with Judgment Day. Judgment Day. I want to congratulate the Texas Tech meat judging team. They've won their third straight natty. They're goaded. I'd also like to congratulate them, even though their entire student body hates me. Eight national championships for the team since 2010. But how many programs are there that compete in this event?

Like three? Unclear. Why are you diminishing their accomplishments? That's a good question. Because it's meat judging. That's why. Oh, wow. Look at this guy doesn't judge meat.

Dude has one tough weekend of college football, and he's already – he's ragging on. Who's the other major player that stole, like, three championships? I don't know. I don't know. Who's winning? Can I guess? I bet it was Nebraska. Oklahoma State.

Okie State's a good guess. They know meat up there. I'm not sure. There's no Wikipedia. Yeah, I'm really having trouble. Although OSU did win at some point per this article. Look at that. Wrestling and meat, that's what Oklahoma State does.

Also golf. Golf too. He puts in a lot of work behind the scenes. Dylan, you're off in downtown Austin after midnight, right? Was that a Jared Goff joke? No, that was a joke about whatever his name was. Oh, okay. You guys missed my Dylan joke, but I don't joke about Jared Goff. He is a joke. Wow. 0-15 under any coach not named Sean McVay. He didn't lose. 0-15. Over the weekend? 0-15-1. Who wins, Detroit or Texas?

Detroit wins 120-3. I said Dylan's a big fan of downtown Austin after midnight, right? He said no. That's not a great joke. He did go to Dirty Bills Friday. No, but he ran it back. Did you go to Dirty Bills? I did, yeah.

There you go. Eater Austin has released its list of best places to eat in Austin after midnight. Dylan can see my computer, so he will not be part of this segment. The list goes as follows. Via 313. That's at bars. I get it. Late night food. It is not about late night.

Because they're in North Austin. It doesn't count. Number five, they have Delray Cafe, which is attached to Nickel City, which apparently is also done by the brothers who did Via 313. Yeah, it seems like a bar that I should go to, but they're kind of appropriating Detroit culture by just opening Nickel City, so I'm kind of hesitant to go there. Also a Buffalo Bills bar, weirdly.

Not a Sabres bar, though. I tried that once. Shouldn't it be a Lions bar? No one deserves the Lions. Hoboken Pie, number six. Never even heard of these. On Red River. Number seven, Osador Tacos at... A superfood.

That's the taco truck at Woodrow's. It's Osador eating season. Nice. Yeah. If it's ever midnight and I'm downtown, I'm showing my ass the door. I gotta leave. Number eight is Happy Chick on sixth.

I've had Happy Chick. Happy Chick is good. Number nine is... C on sixth. I've had Happy Chick. Happy Chick is good. Number nine is Caché. Okay. What? Caché? Caché. Is 24 Diner just punching air right now?

There's no 24 Diner. They're like, what do I have to do? We're open 24 hours a day. We were kind of featured on that, but that's okay. Number 10, Casino El Camino. Big burger spot. I can't wait to never try any of these places because they'll be just out of

hand. And I don't stay up past midnight at this point. Number 11, Foxy's. Proper pub. That's in Yos Van Dyke. It's really good, actually. Foxy's? Yos Van Dyke. Gotta go to Foxy's next time you go to Yos Van Dyke, dog. You're right. Spicy Boys makes an appearance

on Rainy Street. Food Truck. El Taquito, Little Darling, and 17, Whataburger. Best places to eat in Boston after... That's pandering. That is definitely pandering. Very cool, Brett. You got it, Whataburger. Can I pick the next one?

Sure. There's only one left? Yeah. But you can pick it. Here we go again. In the quick service restaurant sandwich wars. You guys are familiar. I am kind of over it at this point, but yeah, go ahead.

Burger King is bringing back a classic. From 2014, the Italian original chicken sandwich is back on the menu at Burger King. I have no recollection of such a food. Well, Dylan, it is an elongated, lightly breaded, white meat chicken patty on a sesame seed bun with marinara sauce and melted mozzarella cheese. Okay. From what Will's pulling up here, it doesn't look terrible, but... It's a chicken parm sup.

Can you imagine how mashed down this would be when you actually get it out of the wrapper? There's a wrapper? Correct. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, I wanted to point out that Burger King's family of brands, or excuse me, RBI, Restaurant Brands International, is Burger King, Popeyes, and Tim Hortons. How's Tim Hortons doing these days?

His ticker is QSR. Pretty good one. I don't hit that portfolio. Never been to a Tim Hortons doing these days? Ticker is QSR. Pretty good one. I don't hate that portfolio. Never been to a Tim Hortons. No, that's, you stink. They aren't down here, Brett. When's the furthest north you've been? Okay, but if I go somewhere north, I'm not going to eat fast food.

Got to know the answer to this question. Chicago's got to be the farthest north you've been. I've been to Minneapolis. I've been to New York. That counts. I've been to New York. I've been to Seattle, which is north. North. That counts. I've been to New York. I've been to Seattle, which is north.

Wow, okay. He has passed this test. I think does Chicago not have Tim's? Like I said, if I'm going to Chicago, I'm not going to go like a burger joint.

Dude, that's crazy that when Dylan goes out, he doesn't want to go to Tim Horton's when he's on vacation. Do I make you great coffee, though? Tim's is a great spot

to go Saturday morning after a night out. Smashing. Get a coffee in Timbits. Did I pass your North test? Yeah, you did. Hey, do we still have the call with that dude? I pushed it back 15 minutes. Yeah, that's probably a good call.

I guess we'll see. 30 minutes. Hey, um... I'm going to try this Burger King sandwich. Yeah, I probably will too. That's sick, dude. Let us know, man. I will. You know what? I will. I'm going to try this Burger King sandwich. Yeah, I probably will too. That's sick, dude. That's sick. Let us know, man. I will.

I can't wait. You know what? I will. I'm a fan of the Whopper. I think the Whopper's a good burger. They do mustard, man. I love mustard Whopper. They disappointed on earnings on their last conference call. Stock took a dive.

Oh, is Stewie going to execute a corporate takeover? Let's go, Stewie. When did Sandy get... I guess I missed where he was unable to speak or walk. I didn't know his health had taken quite a turn. We're doing succession. Yeah, I didn't either. No, we're not allowed to do that anymore, Dave.

We're not business savvy enough to do succession recaps anymore. No, I smoked a cigar and drank a glass of scotch while watching it last night and just thought about how I'm going to do a corporate takeover of this company. You can't do a corporate takeover of your own company. Oh, give me it for Micah to get here. Oh, Battletoad Bad Boys stepped in the building, which means one thing and one thing only. We have to go. Yeah, let's get out of here.

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Micah, will you sign us off? Come on, hit us with a buh-bye. Come on, come on. Just for old time's sake. We need a buh-bye. For old time's sake. Oh, he's pulling it.

Hold on, this is a B-roll. Micah, we're ready for it. Dude, he's pulling. Hold on. This is a B-roll. Micah, we're ready for it. Dude, he's pulling up his pants. All these mics are hot. Go ahead. Hello, everyone. It's great to be back. Find me on Too Much Dip this afternoon.

And also, Micah's Read of the Week, the newsletter. And until next time, in your inbox every Monday around lunchtime. Buh-bye. Bye lunchtime. Bye-bye.