Circling Back - Abducted In Plain Sight, Kuch, and Worst Weekends

Episode Date: February 18, 2019

Despite being a few days late, we give our takes on the Matt Kuchar vs. Mexican caddy situation, break down Netflix's 'Abducted in Plain Sight,' and read a Worst Weekend Story about getting stuck in a bowling alley. We also talk about our favorite 90s toys. (9:42) Matt Kuchar Stiffs His Caddy (30:03) Abducted In Plain Sight (50:54) Worst Weekend Story: Stranded In A Bowling Alley Support us on Patreon and receive episodes every Friday for just $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Get Hims: www.forhims.com/steam ($5 for first month) Fulton & Roark: www.fultonandroark.com (STEAM for 15% off) Twitter: www.twitter.com/circlingbackpod Instagram: www.instagram.com/circlingbackpod Visit: www.circlingbackpodcast.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast happy president's day to all the presidents out there my name's will to freeze d, what's up, dog? Trying to get these dead presidents. You know what I mean? And by that, I mean cash. I'm talking about money. Trying to make money. Thanks for having me back.

Dylan. Man, now that we're not in the corporate game, I don't pay attention to any of these holidays anymore. Presidents Day? You're just so above it, bro. Totally off my radar. I'm not saying I'm above it. I just, you know, it's just... I pulled out of my apartment today, and I was driving, and I was like, man, there's no one out here.

And then I got stuck in a light and I pulled a Dylan Chivry and took out my phone and I was like, oh yeah, it's President's Day. Yeah, I had no idea. Sure enough. Until you just said something. Whatever. I'm happy to be here, though. Who's your favorite president? Hard to say.

I don't have a favorite. I don't know. Dave? I was always a big Roosevelt guy. Wow. There's some dope ones. Speak softly and carry a big stick. Yeah.

Carry a big what? Big stick. Oh. He's known for his big stick policy. Yeah. Does he have big stick energy? Sure. Yes. Does he have big stick energy? Sure. Yes.

All right. I'll be honest. People get really mad when you pronounce it Roosevelt, by the way. Do they? That's the way your history professor will pronounce it. Will, are you under the weather? I have some allergies, I think. My allergies are tripping this morning, too.

When I got in bed last night, I thought to myself, oh, no, this is bad. So I took some NyQuil. Then I woke up this morning and was so congested. Never take NyQuil the night before a podcast. Dude, how's that? You will be faded. Because there's no way you'll wake up ready to broadcast at a high level. NyQuil sticks with you through lunchtime.

Yeah. What? It's not good. I'm groggy as fuck. Did you take the pills or the little cap i'm robo tripping the pills man i would prefer taking the cap i like drinking it mix it in some sprite wow toss a jolly ranch trip in that bitch you did not do that for the culture what's the opposite dude i'm so for the culture are you kidding i am the culture have you ever

have you actually we've probably talked about this have you ever done that no what sip lean we talking about like real like yeah actually taken okay no no surprisingly enough uh harvard springs michigan really adopt the no but i feel like the lane scene didn't really hit there's pockets of there's pockets out there of like affluent towns like white kids who like listen to enough houston rap that they're like well we gotta try this it would make sense that that would be something that i would enjoy though yeah that's that's where i was going i would it seems like i would rather do that than like coke or something like i'm more of a it seems i'm more of a chill guy as opposed to like oh let's go crazy yeah we had a big lean phase on

the formerly named uh touching base podcast we did have a big we went hard on lean for a while didn't actually partake in lean we pretended we pretended to and it was it was a fun time for us one could say that we leaned into it just see i was sipping that bang on saturday dude stop i'm back on that what are you doing why are you doing that i don't know i wanted to i saw shido's tweet and i was like i want to respond to it so i'm just gonna go get one before i go to the gym oh i thought that was you just found a picture on the internet i didn't know that was actually you stop i swear to god why are you back on it because i'm back on that ish jesus dude stop the smart thing to do is to do the bang energy before you work out yeah so you have a chance to work out some of that bang energy

i'll never drink one for i I mean, for numerous reasons, really. Apparently they have one without caffeine, which is probably a smarter bet. Is it like four loco without booze in it? Probably exactly like that. What was your favorite four loco flavor? I had four loco one time and it was the original flavor.

And it was as an alumni at the, uh, well fraternity house back in like 2009, but it was the original formula Four Loko. Yeah, and it effed me up. Yeah. Two of those lemonade Four Lokos and your boy was straight faded. I never had an OG Four Loko.

Actually, I never had a Four Loko period. It's going to be like Quaaludes. Ooh, a Four Loko period sounds gross. Dave, that's disgusting. Oh my God, dude. It's Monday morning. What is wrong with you? You're the one who said it. Dude. I'm saying like period, like I disgusting. Oh my god, dude. It's Monday morning. What is wrong with you? You're the one who said it. Dude. I'm saying like period.

Like I've never had one. So sorry, mom. Like for emphasis. Phrasing. I can hear my mom unsubscribing to this podcast. Your mom is not unsubscribing. Your mom is giggling. Your mom is going to send me a... We just lost like three patrons. Nancy's going to side text me. God. No, come on. She's not going to side text you? Why would she be texting you in the first place?

Good question. If you haven't already, go texting you in the first place? Good question. If you haven't already, go follow Circling Back Pod on Twitter and Instagram. We're actually really close to 6,000 Twitter followers. I would really like 6,000 by the end of today, so please go do that. Also, subscribe on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. There are other places you can subscribe as well. Just go do that. Just subscribe everywhere.

It's not hard. Also, our Patreon episodes. They're so good. I see y'all weekend patrons climbing on board. Hell yeah. Doing your work at night. I see you. We appreciate it.

I see them too, David. We have not gotten to... What was the number for me to not shave? 10,000. 3,000. 3,000. We have not gotten to 3,000 yet. That will be, if we don't get to it by the end of the week, I'm shaving my beard and

I'm going to look like a penis. So please go subscribe. I will cry if we don't get there. I will cry. I found that photo of you from the whatever lake in Michigan where you're popping up out of the water and you look like a young child. I was with my family. How old were you there?

Because you were completely shaven there. Dave, that was the year before. That was a summer before i moved down here man what happened dude tex-mex happened tex-mex happened you look like a different person well the issue with me was not that so the issue is that i didn't drink all that often or that hot like i didn't go out all that often when it was winter time because there wasn't that much to do besides go skiing and stuff like that so i wasn't getting those drinking calories year-round like you do in texas because the weather's nice enough here to just let it rip constantly then i moved down here became just an unhealthy guy but you're not that unhealthy no no i would argue but at first i had a rule that I would never say no to doing things. So it was like, oh, people are going to dinner?

Go do it. Like, you got to make friends down here. You're new to this area. Next thing you know, I got the freshman 15 at the age of 28. That's not what you're looking for. Lifetime's waiting on you. Nah, we're good. Also, let's talk about our friends over at Fulton and Rourke.

Right now, if you use promo code STEAM, that's S-e-a-m you get 15 off your order i had some broke boy uh two-in-one body wash that was sitting in my shower next to my two-in-one fulton and rourke bro boy aka not fulton and rourke correct yes correct and so this morning finally i was like you know what i can't look at this anymore like it's just ugly. So I used it all. I got rid of it. I threw away the bottle. And now in my shower, it's exclusively Fulton & Rourke.

Are they officially sponsoring your shower? Yeah. That's great. If anyone wants to come up with a name for it, my shower for Fulton & Rourke, they are welcome to do so. I'm surprised it took this long to have a 100% Fulton and Rourke shower. I mean, it was like 98%, but now it's 100%. And I feel so much better about it.

You know when you clean your apartment, you get rid of some clutter? Whatever, I did that. What's that Netflix show? Marie Kondo or whatever? I don't know what you're talking about, but okay. Is it where she says to throw everything away if it doesn't bring you joy? Yeah. Damn. Doesn't that seem like a show I'd be super in on? about, but okay. Is it where she says to throw everything away if it doesn't bring you joy? Yeah. Damn.

Doesn't that seem like a show I'd be super in on? Yeah, it does. I don't want to look at other people's clutter. I don't either. That sounds awful. It all goes so hard.

Don't forget about the cologne. No. It's wax base. Dude, we're getting so close to Palmetto season that it's not even funny. Everyone's been clamoring for Palmetto season. We're so close. Yeah. Once, like, college spring break hits, it's Palmetto season that's not even funny. Everyone's been clamoring for Palmetto season.

We're so close. Yeah. Once, like, college spring break hits, it's Palmetto season. It's done. It's game over. College spring break. Dude, should we go to, like, Panama City this spring break? Are we releasing any tank tops?

Any circling back tanks? No, we do have some shirts. We have some shirts coming, though. Sun's out, buns out, anything like that? No? No. We could do toes in the water, though. Sun's out, buns out, anything like that? No? No. We could do toes in the water, ass in the sand. Shut up.

Either way, go to FultonLenore.com. Use promo code STEAM at checkout. 15% off your order. Just make it happen. We should make a tank top that just says the crank tank. No, that's for the internet party. That's disgusting. I'm not letting...

Duda... No one has a designated crank tank. Duda has appropriated cranking. Yeah, he has. He knows it, though. I'll allow it. Last week on the golf course, I took my... After I shit all over country music last week on the podcast,

I just decided to do a bit where everything I said on the golf course was just a lyric from a shitty country song. I was actually surprised. I meant to bring it up on the golf course. I'm lyric from a shitty country song. I was actually surprised I meant to bring it up on the golf course. I'm surprised how many just cheesy ass lyrics you know from terrible country songs.

Dude, I told you I went through a pop country phase. I went through a phase. What's wrong with you? I listened to a lot of country back then. How does Bougie Will from Northern Michigan

go through a pop country phase? Because, dude, some of those songs slap. Have you heard Toes in the Water? water they don't slap that's the thing dude i mean honestly like what else do you put on when it's just feeling like a barefoot blue g night they go so hard all right man okay all right let's talk about something we're a little late on this 24-hour news cycle you know know, just pumps and dumps. This was dropping.

Okay, this dropped a couple weeks ago, but this was trending as we were recording on Thursday. We were recording our Patreon episode. I looked up and I thought it was a little strange that Matt Kuchar was trending. This is something we had talked about off mic for a little bit but it came to a head when i think some major news outlets picked it up on thursday morning yeah i think si did a big expose oh god deadspin everybody essentially what happened is that uh matt kuchar i forget the name of the tournament he went and played a tournament in mexico His normal caddy did not come, so he used a filling caddy, El Tucan. Is that what we're calling him?

Is that pronounced differently? Is that what he's going as? I think that's his nickname. Okay. But then I'm like, but in Mexico, do they pronounce it Tucan? Tucan? I don't know. Don't you know Spanish really well?

I've never talked about Tucan. Tucan. Tucan. So he used him as his caddy. Instead of getting the customary 10% for a dub, Matt Kuchar paid him $5,000, which after

Kuchar won the tournament, worth $1.4 million. $5,000 is kind of just a drop in the bucket. And so once social media got a hold of this, you know it was over for your boy. No Laying Up was on this early. Yeah. A there if you're if you're into golf twitter you were seeing it early i went down so a couple weeks ago when i started seeing this i was like i was clicking on accounts that i had never even heard of and i was looking on timelines because i had to know

because i this is i was like this is going to be a big deal. And then it kind of went away. And then I guess it just took everybody this long to realize it. I don't know. I guess SI really did their homework, finally got a hold of the guy. I think everyone wanted to really get their facts straight. That's probably a good idea. As it turned out, Cooch did kind of, as far as I'm concerned, stiff the guy. And I kind of was over the story until i logged on to twitter was it yesterday morning i texted about this yeah and i saw brandel chamblee's takes on it

oh he's been hitting him with the fuego for a while what that man say if you're not familiar with brandel chamblee he is was he is he from austin he's a texas guy he played he played at texas i don't know where he's from originally he's he's like he's a hot take guy and i don't know if he knows that he's a hot take guy but he's a hot take guy he knows what pays the bills he's got shitty takes rarely am i like i'm bored with anything he says i'm either all the way in on what he says or all the way out i remember before he did a he did a podcast with as we just just said, No Lane Up, and Solly just laughed as he pretty much said, like, we don't always see eye-to-eye on things. And it was like,

yeah, it's kind of hard to see eye-to-eye with Brandel Shambly. I missed his take. I don't even want to talk about when we met him because I was very unimpressed with what he was doing when we met him. What was he doing? We were at a bar

that features numerous beers on draft and he was at the bar trying to order a Chardonnay. It was a bar that's based around their beer selection. You of all people should appreciate that move. I should but you know your boy likes some heavy beers. Yeah, you do.

I should have had this queued up. I apologize. Kuchar and this guy this caddy they had they did have an agreement beforehand um that outlined if he got this play you know 10th was like the number and it was going to be 5k there wasn't anything that um contemplated if he won the tournament which is fine but so i mean there was an agreement in place and what brandel's take was, although Will's probably knows... I have it up right now. Do you want me to read it? Yes, please do. He said,

I continue to be baffled at the Kuchar caddy controversy. They had an employment agreement, clearly beneficial to both parties. Ortiz's normal day rate is $200. He works six days a week, so $62,400 a year. Kuchar paid him five times his day rate. Bonuses are for tour caddies who suffer travel

expenses. A lot wrong with this. First of all, if the reports that I read are correct, $200 was not his day rate. That is a very, very, very good day for him. His day rate is much closer to $100. I would also argue that their day rate

doesn't have anything to do with this situation. His day rate is when he's caddying for dudes like us that are on vacation. His day rate is totally irrelevant to the situation. In fact, the less he makes, the more you would think he would appreciate a big-ass bonus. Yeah. That's stupid. Yeah That's stupid Also

They didn't They had a As I've read And again Everything I know about this Is from what I've read I'm not really in tune With the caddy game

But these are like The employment agreement Is that you get Your base salary Plus If it's If you're outside Of the top ten

You get about five percent Normal Of their winnings If you're in the top ten You you get somewhere between 5% and 10%. If they win, you get 10%. I don't know what kind of agreement they had in place, but I'm sure the three grand, that was the original agreement that came out. I'm sure that was their agreement.

But then the bonus that should have come in after probably should have been a little more than $2,000. Even if it was, let's say everything was outlined in the agreement and it said, this is what you're going to get. That doesn't matter that they had that agreement. Yeah, like legally, but we're not talking about that. We're talking about like, was it right to do that? You're not talking

about bargaining power of like Matt Kuchar, professional golfer, versus a caddy in Mexico City. Yeah. Right? They're on two, like like let's be honest the mexican economy is not what we have here so like yeah you you don't have equal part equal um i don't know standing for this whole deal i'm sorry like his his comment kuchar's comments

like initially which looked really bad made it so much worse it's the most tone-deaf thing i've seen uh i don't know if you're about to read that but i was that's what i was doing on my phone no i if you have it up you can read it but i was gonna say did you see what l2 can was going to uh use his money for if he had he gotten the the full 10 percent he was by wave runner no he was going to he was going to start a laundromat with his family so that they could have a long-term viable business. Damn. And instead, with the money that he got, the $5,000 that he got, I think what I read was that they painted their house, they bought a mirror, and they paid off flying their daughter back for Christmas.

Has there been a follow-up GoFundMe campaign to get this guy paid? I have not seen a GoFundMe, but... You think that's common. Kuchar did issue a statement saying that he paid him an agreed-upon amount of money. Okay. And the only reason I saw that statement was because of Dave's boy, Zach Johnson, putting it out. Yeah, ZJ was riding for him in the

notes by the way he took a screenshot of the notes it was it is pretty pretty shocking to me to see cooters name on a story like this you wouldn't think he'd be the guy to make tone deaf comments you think it'll be patrick reed or something yeah cooters like it seems just like a family guy like just like a downer can i read brandel Chambly's follow-up tweet? Which was somehow even worse. Whose follow-up? Chambly's. I respect that Chambly's sticking with this.

He said, One of my favorite stories about talent and its worth. Picasso had been doodling on a napkin at a restaurant and went to throw it away when a lady asked if she could buy it. He said, Sure, for $50,000. Outraged, she said, but it only took could buy it. He said, sure, for $50,000. Outraged, she said, but it only took you two minutes.

He said, ma'am, it took me a lifetime. Okay, that probably didn't happen. That's like a known story. You're telling me Picasso wasn't hitting this woman with a ma'am? I'm sorry. Like, come on.

That's like George Washington chopping down the cherry tree. If you went on Snopes and just looked this up, are you guys familiar with Snopes? Yeah, I know Snopes. It's where lore like this goes to die. I'm pretty sure that this wouldn't come up like this. Like, come on.

And I'm not even sure that that story applies to the Kutcher situation at all. It took a lifetime, man. It's totally different. She was asking for a napkin. This guy was putting in hard work for whatever. For a guy who makes $200 a day, a $5,000 week is a really big week, he said. I try to look at the bright side of everything.

I hope he's happy. I hope things are really good in his life. I have to thank you. If he was given the same opportunity to do it again, he say yeah he has a nice personality he's easy to be with here's the thing you have to know where this is going you have to like identify like this is bad and you got to get out in front of it the fact that he it took him this long i mean this was trickling out like we said two weeks ago yeah he got to get ahead of it. And it's like, look, yeah, here, let me send you some cash. Like, let me make this right.

He just does. I saw somebody say, like, Kuchar's not on social media. That's part of it. He doesn't get the firestorm. I mean, he, if my numbers are correct, and I haven't run them in the past two days, but he's made $43 million in his career. Top 10 all time. Just from, yeah.

Like, dude, just throw the guy $25,000 and make this all go away. If you could, if, if, I've never understood why in situations like this where like, like guys will tip poorly at restaurants when their name is on the check or whatever and they're like loaded. It's like you could avoid this PR nightmare

by just spending $1,000. And if somebody said to you, hey, I can make this, like someone approached Kuchar and said, hey, I can make this entire problem go away for 25 grand. He'd be like, yeah, but instead he's got like a chip on his shoulder. He needs better people around him.

Taylor Twelman noted a soccer analyst asked Brandel Shambly, how come not a single pro has defended Matt, however? This was before ZJ. ZJ just kind of like vouched for him. He didn't say that he agreed with the tip or lack thereof. But this is a great lesson because he could have given the guy, let's say that Coch gives him 10 or more cooch like cooch goes down in history as a legend instead it's like the opposite like he could have

made this guy's life and everybody i mean it probably would have came out eventually that look at this generous guy you could make a documentary about this yeah time that he played with this like small town caddy and changed the guy's life. Blah, blah, blah. They've made movies out of less. Yes. And instead, we got L2CAN just over here trying to start a laundromat. And he can't because Matt Kuchar's a stiff. L2CAN needs to launch a clothing line.

I would buy it. The Toucan is a tight nickname. Somebody once told me that my spirit animal was a... Oh, shit. A pelican. Why? I don't get pelican vibes from you well i don't that's why i'm not asking you to give me my spirit animal i trust the guy who did it way more than you that's was it a shaman i mean essentially they're the ones that always stand on one leg right i don't know no it's a flamingo oh yeah you're right pelicans are dope birds oh yeah oh i thought

you're talking about shamans standing on one leg i I was like, that's not something I know. I bet there is a one-legged shaman out there. There's got to be. Probably a one-legged pelican, too. If Connor's in town, we could have him come by and tell us. What's your spirit animal? The time you smoked a frog with a one-legged shaman. I've never identified a spirit animal.

I don't know. What do you see in me? I'm trying to look at you right now. I'm trying to look deep into your soul right now there's nothing there no and it's strangely empty barkeep please refill this man it's gone where'd your soul go i lost it a while ago i you sold it for fame for podcast fame yeah i'm trying to figure out what you are a big time you might be like a black lab Like an 8 year old black lab Where he's got the white that starts creeping in Right under his eyes on his nose

Damn No dude that's chill That's kind of rude man It's chill it's noble It's a backhanded animal compliment Everyone in college has a black lab Everyone that I know Like from our frater has a black lab. Everyone that I know from our fraternity.

Yeah. Just black lab. You want to put off the vibe that you might bird hunt. Yes. Even though that dog is not equipped to bird hunt with you. Right. You just got to have people guess. Yeah.

You got to have a truck. It's got to have a name like Traeger. Yeah. Traeger. Traeger. Traeger. Man, we've done this before. That's so stupid.

Like... Gunny. If you're naming your dog after a gun company, you're a tryhard. That's fair, I think. Yeah. Remy. I almost said that. No.

Walker. Naming your dog is stressful, man. Browning. Come on said that. No. Walker. Naming a dog stressful. Browning. Come on, Walker. Hell yeah. Naming a dog stressful. It was one of the most stressed out times I've had in my life. Like, what if I botch it?

You sound very privileged saying that. Yeah. Does anybody have an alt coocher take? I'm looking at Dylan. An alt coocher take? Like, do at Dylan. An alt-Kuchar take? Like, do you want to support Kuchar? I kind of wish somebody would. It's pretty obviously tone deaf.

Like I said, I'm surprised that his name is on a story like this. You don't think of Kuchar being a guy who would not think his way through that situation better. Because he seems like a smart, down-to-earth, affable guy. If this came out and it was Tiger, I would at least get it. Because he's a confirmed psychopath. This has Patrick Reed written all over it. It's a bigger story because it's Kuchar and not Patrick Reed. Sure.

People were saying that, or Chamblee at least was saying that, it's not all the rates of tipping and stuff. That's typical for caddies that have to take time away from their families and incur travel expenses blah blah blah it's like dude just just do the right thing just cut the check let's say let's say everything he just said is correct yeah still you got to understand like that this is going to be uh backlash central just change the guy's life change the guy's life who helped win a central. Just change the guy's life. Change the guy's life who helped you win a fucking tournament.

Change the man's life. Yeah. Like, if you have the means to do it, just do it. I kind of get where he's coming from. Like, oh, whatever. But, like,

you can say that you could have won that tournament with your other caddy, but at the end of the day, like, this guy knows the course front and back. Dude, this is the toucan.

It's the toucan. You should tip him just for having that dope-ass nickname. Seriously. How do you get that nickname having that dope-ass nickname. Seriously. How do you get that nickname? I would love to know. Why are all these Latin guys named after birds?

Maybe he dresses very colorfully. El Pato? Yeah. You think he... Aren't toucans, like, really colorful? Yeah, they're flashy. Maybe he dresses all flashy like that. A toucan flexes, like, more than any bird.

And he just struts around. I saw an IRL the other day. Fuck, why am I blood... Dude, I'm such a space cadet today. I apologize. What's your deal, man? You drank NyQuil. Yeah.

What are those big colorful birds called? Parrot? Parrot? Peacock. Peacock. I saw two peacocks the other day. Dude, they're all over Austin. Yeah, what's the deal?

Why are they everywhere? Man, at the first Grand X... actually, technically, the second Grand X office, there's a peacock who lived there. Like, just naturally lived at the office. Did you guys give it, like, a super frat nickname? Pico. Ah. That's so fucking Texas.

Pico the peacock. Sometimes we'd show up, and he'd be, like, feathers out, you know? Like, I don't know. That means something. Like, it means, like, standoff, probably. Did he dap you up when you walked be feathers out. That means something. It means standoff. Did he dap you up when you walked in the office? He'd be like, yo, you're not coming through this door, so we have to use the back entrance. I had some run-ins with Peacock.

The back entrance. Those are tight birds, man. I didn't know that only the males are colorful. That's usually how birds work. But I didn't realize that the females were just white. I don't think that's usually how birds work but i didn't realize that the the females were just white i don't think that's the case this the one i saw was white i know i've seen oh you went to maddie's yeah oh yeah there's a white one there what's the deal i don't know it's albino that's what i said they were like maybe it's an arctic peacock Yeah How did it end up here?

Wait can peacocks fly? I think they can like float Like flutter up to a tree Kind of like a turkey They can fly like 20 feet at a time It's like me running I'm able to run But it's not for very long

You're not a runner It's a ground dwelling bird Sure that long. You're not a runner. It's a ground-dwelling bird. Sure, that's fair. You're not going to see him soaring through the mountains like a bald eagle. We've got a hawk in the park across the street. Hawks are tight. I see it just low to the earth,

just creeping. They used to call me El Falcone. No one did that. The falcon. No one did that the falcon no one did that yeah no i don't really remember remember why but el falcone should we talk about our next topic here sure let's just keep going wait did y'all watch golf yesterday yeah a little bit people were mad at jb holmes why because he takes for fucking ever? Because I knew he was slow. I had not actually sat down and watched him on a Sunday.

It was bad. It was the worst thing I've seen. Like the Cooch situation, it only got worse because of social media. I feel like being slow is not the worst thing to get flamed for. He doesn't start his routine until after everyone's putted. And that includes going to the book and stuff. Standing behind it with, you know,

he does the putter drop thing. It's, it's, it's unbearable. He put a putt two feet past the hole in this one hole. He still stood behind it with his putter up. Like, I forget what they call it.

He was still doing that. What? It's like, dude, just tap it in, dude. What is that called? Because I was under the impression that that was proven to not do anything.

Maybe it's just habit. If I do it, I don't know why you would do it i've i've done it before just to see what it does it does nothing i've never understood my view of the whole i don't get it i really i don't understand what it does that's a thing you do when you're first learning the game because you've you heard it or saw it somewhere and you really don't know why you're doing it but you just want to look like you know what you're doing i hate playing with slow people people that don't play ready golf just piss me off and that's that's i used to think it would it would give you like the slope like left to right because if it's a straight line up and down then you can kind of see the tilt of the green but it doesn't work because the weight of the putter head it's like off center sometimes most of the time

all the time so it doesn't it doesn't hang straight down i don't get it someone smarter than us explain he took forever it was so bad he ended up winning i saw this guy's finished last all that he won yeah it what an idiot i i just hate i hate playing with people that like just take forever or like don't or aren't aware of the situation you're in. It's like, oh, this group has been waiting a few times behind us. We got to go. There was, I think, 40 minutes between the last group, those guys, and the next to last. Does he just take that as like, oh, I'm the last group. Awesome.

I can take as long as I want in every single show. I don't know, man. I mean, I've never heard that he's not a nice guy. Yeah. Like, he's a prick. But, like, that would be an issue. But people were saying, like, all over the place, like, hey, this is literally against the rules. Like, you have a certain amount of time. And, like, it's just, it was ridiculous. We're, like, just over a month away from the WGC here in Austin, by the way.

That's big if true. We'll be there, man. How's your bracket looking? I have not filled it out yet, actually. I don't think it's launched yet.

It's not. We don't know who's in it yet. That's why I haven't filled it out. We do know that Bubba's playing. Because he won.

Bubba has committed. Confirmed. I thought he said he was going to retire after winning X amount of tournaments. Get out of here,

dude. You got to think Tiger's not going to play, right? Got to think so pretty unlikely unlikely but it would be fucking tight

I think because if you went through the whole weekend it would be six rounds of golf in four days too much or five days I get why older guys

wouldn't want to play yeah true can we talk about our next topic this is something that I'm actually glad that you guys watched even though i've told everyone i know not to watch it it's a little netflix documentary

called abducted in plain sight yes this to me and i've gone on record saying this there were more bad decisions made in abducted in plain sight than there were in the fire festival documentaries combined i'm disgusted with the parents in this story. What the fuck is going on? They did so many things wrong that it's unfathomable. Hilariously wrong. Not hilariously. Sorry.

None of it is funny. Why did they agree to do this in the first place? I don't know. Because they were getting paid. They got that Netflix money. And plus, Jan, she speaks out against this stuff now so this is like her way of bringing more awareness to it i'm sure which is i get it but um the most disgusting part of this whole story to me well aside from like the pedophilia

obviously was like the parents were so concerned with like maintaining their image like within the community and their church that they're like sweeping the shit under the rug and not wanting this guy to get in trouble. Yeah. What the fuck is wrong with you? Can you get, Dylan, since you've watched this more recently than me, I don't want to botch anything. Sure. Can you give a quick 30-second rundown of what this is about? Yes.

This Mormon family in Utah, the neighbors moved in, family in Utah. The neighbors moved in and the father of this family basically just is like the worst person ever and kind of took the youngest, I don't know if she was the youngest, but one of the girls

in when she was like 10 kidnapped her a couple times made her believe all this wild alien type crazy shit for the purpose of like basically raping molesting and getting her to fall in love with them and she did as like a 10 to 14 year old also had an affair with the mom of the family uh the dad even correct them all jerked them off some relief one time uh just totally fucked this whole family up um but the weirdest part is like

the family as this monster was like destroying them and like abducting their daughter for you know weeks months at a time i think even like they were just like not wanting him to get in trouble about it it was like weird i had i didn't think about the fact that that when they were talking about all this stuff they're like yeah i mean back then we didn't even know what a pedophile was we never heard that word before yeah but you know it's wrong yeah but you know it's weird they let they let this guy sleep in their daughter's bed yeah four nights a week for six straight months yeah how do you do that and there was one point where this was like the second time that

she was kidnapped i mean she was willingly kidnapped she got taken to catholic school i don't remember but she was she was gone for like three months or something and they hadn't heard from him or her and they were just you know freaking out of course and finally they got on the phone with this guy his name is robert they call him b they got on the phone with this guy and the it's the mom on the phone and it's recorded because like the fbi was you know they they tapped the whole shit because it was a pretty big story and they were she was just like oh b like is everything okay do you still want to marry our daughter like that's not what you say to a guy who abducted your 12 year old fucking daughter what are you doing no like and he's like yeah i still want to marry her she goes oh does she still want to marry

you and it was just like she was talking to him like like he didn't they actually get married like he stole the newspaper in front of the house instead of like their daughter when he abducted her the first time did they get married in mexico but the mexican marriage license doesn't it's not valid in the united states right and the reason they did it in mexico was because you can be as young as 12 and get married he convinced her he convinced her that she got abducted by aliens and that her mission in life was to have a baby before 16 with him the fuck fucking bizarre he had the whole family brainwashed the family signed like the affidavit saying like aff, affidavits. David. I always fuck this up. You were looking right at me.

I always fuck it up. They signed the stuff saying, like, oh, we're not going to press charges. And the FBI was like, nah. FBI was like, yeah, sorry. No, we're pressing charges. You're still pressing charges. He literally is raping a child. And you should not be okay with this.

See, okay, not to get too far into it. But it was so creepy, the fact that, like, there were no signs of rape. Because he was just putting the tip in. He was be okay with this. See, okay, not to get too far into it, but it was so creepy the fact that there were no signs of rape. Because he would just put the tip in. He was so gentle with her. He'd put the tip in. Like, gross. Gross. Do you miss that part, Dave?

No, yeah, no, just the way... She kept saying, like, she's an adult woman now, and she's telling the story, and she's like, yeah, he would just put it like an inch in at a time. Oh, okay, yeah, I don't... It was bad. story and she's like yeah he would just put it like an inch at a time oh okay yeah i don't yeah yeah it was it was bad the i can't believe that the father from this has not become as much of a meme as a dude from the fire festival documentary when he's talking about how he

gave relief to the guy see that's the best thing that's happened to the fire fest guys this coming out like right after because now nobody's talking about that guy although there's still some people hanging on to that meme and there's still some people hanging on to that meme and that's fine oh and then at one point homeboy the dad was like he was telling the story about how uh b and his wife were having an affair and then she finally was like hey i want a divorce i want to i want to marry b instead and he said this was after like the whole his daughter was abducted thing for months at a time he's was like, and that was the worst day of my life. Really?

How is that the worst day of your life? Yeah, there's been some other times that have been pretty bad for you, dude. This is like the 10th worst thing that's happened in this story. Part of the way that B, the abductor, was getting away with this was by having the affair with like the wife and holding that over her head and then having the father jerk him off yeah in a car somewhere at like a soccer field or something he said that he needed some relief and he just like looked at the guy and he was like yeah do it i'm sorry like y'all are good friends of mine but if y'all say that to me i'm not gonna jerk you off you know i'm just not dude fair. When someone says they need some relief,

like, I'm thinking like BC powder. Yeah, I'd be like, hey, like there's this place down the street from here that's got like a CBD oil massage placed over here. Check out our friends at Early Bird CBD. Yeah, like just go do that. But these hands, they're staying with me. One of the most egregious parts of this entire thing also was the fact that B went to Jackson Hole and started a water park, essentially.

And then the parents put their daughter on a plane and let her go work at the water park and live with them. How is a guy who's been arrested for basically pedophilia allowed pedophilia, allowed to open up a water park for children? That's the thing. The government is, like, whoever was doing the prosecuting or sentencing and all this stuff, they're as much at fault as the parents for being idiots. The whole system here was just a massive failure. And he did, like, a month in jail at a time, or like 10 days. I feel like opening a water park would be very difficult. Yeah, especially as a pedophile. Like, that's not an easy undertaking. in jail at a time like 10 days. I feel like opening a water park would be very difficult. Yeah.

You know what I mean? Especially as a pedophile. Like that's not an easy undertaking. No. I mean first of all you're using a ton of water. So you feel like

the permitting is very very serious. Utility bills just gotta be sky high. A lot of overhead. Stupid high. Stupid high. Insurance.

Like that's huge. I mean you know what I mean. That's a big policy. This guy also like he puts out the vibe of a guy who should probably be having a low profile just based on his criminal record. And opening a water park is, I mean, not to make a pun here, but that's making a splash in whatever community you're doing.

Sure. You made the pun. Who's this guy? Who's the guy who opened up the water park? Oh, that's just a local pedophile. That's B. He came in from Utah. I don't know.

He doesn't talk about his past much. What's up with him? What was the name of the water park? Do we know? No. Bee's Fun Park? I don't know. That's a bad name.

Yeah. But. You never know. I respect him going to Jackson Hole. That's a tight move. That's the only cool decision he made. And then Jan, as a 12-year-old, was begging her parents to go stay with him in Jackson Hole at the water park.

They were like, no, you can't go, you can't go. And she made it through a fit. And they're like, okay, you can go. Like, what the fuck are you doing? No, she said she was going to run away. And instead of doing that, they were like, no, that's unsafe. We're just going to fly you there. Right.

What are you doing? Like, no, that's not the move. I'm not a parent. I don't know anything about parenting. But I don't think I would do that. Yeah mean as one i will tell you that that's definitely not the move to send your kid off to a pedophile i thought this was going to be like a a series i thought they're gonna be like episodes and then i realized like into it i was like oh this is just one single thing and my jaw i couldn't sleep after my jaw was dropped

i was just like i can't believe all this shit even having watched it late and having you know known i knew exactly what happened i saw it on twitter it was spoiled many times over i'm not mad about it it still hit hard when everything happened i still couldn't believe it it makes no sense i thought the documentary did a really creepy job of doing some recreating of the scenes. Yeah, I agree. And I was like, what's it like to film those? Didn't need that.

If you wrote a story, and you're like, I'm just going to write a little novel, and it's going to be all this stuff, people would be like, dude, no one's going to believe this shit. This is too out of the ordinary. Yeah, what's going on?

This doesn't happen. Nobody just goes and starts a water park she thought she was she thought that she got abducted by aliens in mexico yeah that's a young impressionable mind i know can you imagine just waking up strapped to a thing then being like oh there's this little like walkie talkie thing next to me telling me that i need to have a baby in the next four years. That ain't it. Did he use a Talkboy?

What was going on there? I think it was one of the... Yeah, the Talkboy Plus from Home Alone 2. Man, I used that thing so much. I never got one. I only got the pen. The pen did not have the same capacity.

No, it didn't. It sucked. Did you ever have a Talkboy? I don't even know what those are. Have you ever seen Home Alone? Of course, dude. Home Alone 2. I'm actually starting to wonder.

Home Alone 2. It's what he does all his recordings on. Okay. Talk boy. I didn't know. Yeah, I didn't know that was a thing. You know what it was? A talk boy was essentially like Twitter for kids back then.

Because you would just talk into it thinking you're funny. And then play it back and then laugh about how funny you are. When in reality talk into it thinking you're funny and then play it back and then laugh about how funny you are. When in reality, it's like you're not that funny. People are saying that Talkboy was the original Twitter. It's like if I had Twitter when I was 12, all the stuff that I was saying to my Talkboy, I would have just tweeted.

We need to release those tapes. That's Patreon content only, Dave's Talkboy tapes. I'd probably have them somewhere. What kind of shit was young Dave talking about? I don't know. The pen had zero capacity. You could record about 10 seconds worth of audio and that was it. What if you had a vape pen that was also the Talkboy pen?

Wow. It's really weird that as kids, like, tossing little tiny things like that would just make you cool. Oh, you mean like material positions? Yeah, it absolutely would. Like really lame ones though yeah my buddy brady who we might have talked about him in the pod he's one of my best friends he had a yo-yo in fifth grade it changed the entire trajectory of his fifth grade career

he was dope you know yo-yos made a comeback it was actually probably your fifth grade year i used to kind of go hard on a yo-yo ninth grade did yours have a brain in it they called me the yo-yo kid no they didn't i'm not even kidding they called you yo-yo what about, I used to kind of go hard on a yo-yo. Ninth grade. Did yours have a brain in it? They called me the yo-yo kid. No, they didn't. I'm not even kidding. They called you a yo-yo boy. What about this? I used to walk the dog with the best of them. What about the slap bracelet? Oh, yeah. Those are tight. Those are cool. Those are still tight. You had slap bracelets like

this dude slaps. But yo-yos changed everything. You were just a little bitch. Yo-yos, when they made their resurgence, that was crazy. That was my ninth. I remember specifically, it was my first year of golf, golf class, and it was ninth grade. So that makes sense. Fifth grade for you. Fifth or sixth.

I mean, your boy was, I had, I had. Why did they come back? I don't know. But they had the brains in them so that it was much easier to walk the dog or rock the cradle. There were some that were a little bit too rigged up to where you could, you could do pretty much anything. Like they would just hang there. Have y'all seen the yo-yo competitions? it's too much they're fucking wild they wear gloves it's like come on what's the triangle thing where you hang it it just kind of goes back and forth

like a cradle it's rock that's right yeah that's a tight one i was i actually could do that that was that was my move that was as good as i could do it around the world yeah those were dicey though you'd always like risk risk hitting yourself in the ankle. Did you guys ever fuck with rhythm sticks? Not the yo-yo kid. Rhythm stick? Yeah. I think I know what that is.

There were those rubber sticks and they had the big one in the middle. Oh, yeah. I was so good at those. I never did that. I can still do them today if you want me to.

Do you have any rhythm sticks here? I'll do it right now. No, I'm good, man. Okay. Dylan was out back just swinging bats. He got the donut on it i did tire hanging from a tree i was just taking cuts against it trying to get that dylan's favorite toy as a kid was the two bats that he had that he was just constantly warming up that that's actually quite actually how did how do you not have a dog named easton i don't know yeah for every christmas i would just ask

for a new bat i I just wanted the latest and greatest every year. Did you ever bunt in your career? Of course. No, he just refused. Yeah, you seem like the kind of guy, like, you're looking down for the signal. I can't wait for my coach off. You're stepping out of the box. I'm going to go ahead and swing away,

but thanks. Yeah, of course I bunted. Did you swing 3-0? Nah. I mean, in high school I did a couple times. Pussy? Yeah. You weren't supposed to. You were coached against it.

I was just trying to be a good little player, little team player. I remember they banned the slap bracelet because some of them were cheap as hell. Yeah. And the material would come off and the little metal would be exposed and you could cut your wrist. Oh, yeah. There was always a story about some kid who cut the artery

and like bled out. Do you remember the thing that you put on your ankle and you would... It's called... I remember the song. Was it called Kick It? Oh, did you jump over it?

That one? Yeah. Yeah. Those are stupid. My sister took one of those and she just hit me in the one? Yeah. Yeah. Those are stupid. My sister took one of those, and she just hit me in the head with it. Yeah. It hurts so bad. You probably deserved it.

Yeah, she got that taken away. Yeah. It's probably smart. It was... The things that would entertain us as kids... Well, I'm talking about Dave and I. We know that you just took cuts, but... Yeah.

Also, growing up in the early 90s is a little different than the late 70s. Yeah, that's true. Growing up, we had a basketball goal in my house. You did not just... A hoop? but also growing up in the early 90s is a little different than like the late 70s. Yeah, that's true. Growing up, we had a basketball goal in my house. You did not just gloss over that? Okay, I'm sorry. That's one thing about Texans that I can't get over. Okay. The fact that y'all call them basketball goals is just so weird.

It's just a geographic, regional thing. It's so weird. Anyway, we had it mounted like kind of on the side of the garage, and there was a brick wall right behind it. And it was regulation. It was 10 feet. But you could run and you could propel yourself off the brick wall. And you could dunk on it.

Like Neo. And it was the tightest. I thought I was legit dunking. It was so much fun. Man, that's cool. You would have bullied me as much fun. That's cool. You would have bullied me as a kid. No doubt. You might have stuffed me in a locker just randomly.

I don't even know. I tried out bullying for a minute. How did it work out for you? It was alright. The thing now, we're talking about stuff that kids have and shit. That's the new name of this segment. Stuff that kids have and shit that's the new name of this segment stuff that kids have kids have

uh my nephew and niece they both got the hoverboards for christmas what they are so tight there's oh you're talking about the things like that you lean on segue minus the yeah yeah yeah but my nieces connects to her phone bluetooth and she can crank out jams are you fucking kidding no it's tight if there's a hoverboard company out there that wants to Lisa's connects to her phone Bluetooth, and she can crank out jams. Are you fucking kidding? No, it's tight. If there's a hoverboard company out there that wants to sponsor this podcast, please hit us up. I'm about to blow my entire tax refund on a hoverboard.

Please hit us up. How much are they? They're probably like $300 or $400. Okay. I want one of those skateboards that has the remote in it. You can go on it. You know what I'm talking about? No.

It's a skateboard, but you have a remote and there's a motor on the board and you tell it to go and you can just go on it. By the way. You can go up hills and stuff. Have y'all done one of the golf course things?

What are those called? I don't know, but they have them at a local course in Michigan and I am very jealous of the people that do those. They look so cool. I was talking about this

with a buddy the other day. It looks cool for nine holes. I don't know if I would want to do a full 18 on it. It looks like it'll wear you out. Yeah. Like your legs will be just take a beating after a while. Yeah, I mean, because you're kind of in a lunge. You're sort of squatting almost.

Yeah, exactly. It's like you're snowboarding, shredding, but you're not. You're just playing golf. I might have to try that. We should do it. Let's talk about hymns real quick sure it's i mean what can you say about them besides they're just a new wellness brand for men if you haven't already started using them now's the time 66 of men lose their hair by age 35 and when you start to notice it's just too late yep we know a lot of you guys out there that are

listening you're under the age of 35 like you gotta nip this in the bud it's true too late. Yep. We know a lot of you guys out there that are listening, you're under the age of 35. Like, you've got to nip this in the bud. It's true. You want to jump on it before it starts. Fun fact, it's easier to keep

the hair you have than to replace the hair you've lost. Kind of what I was saying. If that hairline's slowly starting to move backwards, if you have any bald spots yet, I mean,

what's it going to look like a year from now? Stop it right now. What's it going to look like? Stop it right now from receding. Luckily for you, we've got 4Hims. It's's 4HIMS.com. It's a one-stop shop for hair loss, skincare, and sexual wellness for men. Thanks to science, that baldness we just talked about

can be optional. HIMS connects you with real doctors and medical-grade solutions to treat hair loss. They have well-known generic equivalents to name-brand prescriptions to help you keep your hair. We're not talking snake oil pills or gas station counter supplements. The only thing you should be buying at a gas station is bang energy. Everyone knows that. Dude, one of the greatest things about this service is you can do it just from the comfort of your own home. You don't even have to leave your house.

You just got to get a selfie off of your dome. You pick up the phone. Yeah. Next thing you know, it's being delivered right to your door. Every guy should take a picture of his dome. Just do it. Just to know what's back there.

I had never thought about doing it. And then a few months ago, when a former podcast of ours was also partners with HIMSS, I did it. And I was very scared.

I saw a little more thinness up there than I thought I would. Really? It'd be very eye-opening. I didn't expect to see any skin when I took that selfie, but there was some. Right now, if you want to go to 4hims.com slash steam, S-T-E-A-M.

Again, that's F-O-R-H-I-M-S dot com slash steam. Our listeners get a trial month of HIMS for just $5 today, right now, while supplies last. See the website for full details. This would cost hundreds if you went to the doctor or to a pharmacy. HIMS.com slash deep. Let's take a quick break, get some tinkies off, come right back. My name is Will DeFreeze, and I'm the host of the Sunday Scaries podcast, your cure for the Sunday blues. If you've ever found yourself in the midst of an existential crisis come four o'clock on Sunday, then you pretty much know exactly what the Sunday Scaries are, and I'm here to help.

Whether I'm introducing a new hangover cure or teaching you how to filter the perfect Instagram, take 15 minutes out of your otherwise miserable Sunday and allow me to guide you. Pour yourself a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, light a scented candle, and sit back. take 15 minutes out of your otherwise miserable Sunday and allow me to guide you. Pour yourself a cup of coffee or a glass of wine, light a scented candle, and sit back. Because at the end of the day, it's all going to be fine. You can find the Sunday Scaries podcast on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever else podcasts are found. See you on Sunday. All right, a total of one Tinky was gotten off by none other than Dave. How'd it go?

Well, here's the deal. I feel like you're unfairly framing this. I didn't ask for the break. You went off on your own and did the break, which is fine. And I said, since we're doing it, I may as well. It wasn't that I stopped on the show. No, that's true. That's true.

How dare you? Dave did, during his time tinkering, he did come up with the name of the toy we were talking about, Skip It. Skip It, Skip It. I don't know that song. You were born to whip it, right? Yeah, I had a big whip it face. Fun fact about me, never done a whip it.

Same. Terrified of it. Will has. Yeah, I've done a whip it. Come on. Come on. I mean, I'm not going to do them now. Don't do them.

They're very unsafe. But yeah, in an irresponsible time in my life, we decided to try it. It was kind of funny. I regret it because it kills brain cells and you could possibly die. Former coworker of ours was a big Whippet guy. I'm the bad boy. No, not Micah. It was probably Micah.

Let's do a worst weekend story. If you aren't familiar, I used to write a column that was a breakdown of a lot of really bad stories for the weekends. Real stories. Yeah, real stories. People just getting hammered, people making bad mistakes, or people just being sober and just having their dick kicked in, not having fun. Right now, if you want to send yours to will at washedmedia.com. Again, will at washedmedia.com.

It's a three-day weekend. A lot of people probably went hard. That's true. It's true. I will say that the volume of these has been very low. I've had a couple very good ones but the volume in general has been extremely low and I'm kind of bummed with you guys maybe people are cleaning up their act

that's true maybe our demographic is just getting older and everyone's just like yeah we're not going out anymore people will always be scumbags it happens this one in particular I enjoyed it's got a little something for everybody. Should we just do it?

Yes. I'm going to read this. If there are any names, I'm going to change them for the sake of anonymity. But let's do it. She says, I'm sitting at the DTW airport. Do you guys know what DTW is? DTW. Detroit.

Oh, okay. Writing this, even though I probably shouldn't document this story, I never thought I'd actually do anything foolish enough to warrant a submission to the worst weekends. Unfortunately, I can no longer say this. This weekend, I traveled to Detroit to visit an old sorority sister of mine. I'm a recent graduate of Michigan State University, living the grind girl life, and decided I need a little fun throwback weekend with my college friend.

Sometimes you just need that. Sure. Nothing too bad so far. No. This is pretty standard stuff. Her brother was in town visiting from Dallas as well. This brother is the definition of finance,

bottle service at the club guy. It's classic Dallas, you know? You can make a case. Here we go. I haven't even read the rest of the story yet, but you can make a case here we go i i haven't even read the rest of the story yet but you can make a case that this would never have even happened if uh this guy wasn't there this guy seems like a possible catalyst in the story yeah like yeah like she could have definitely just gone to detroit had a nice little enjoyable time with her friend and

then gone home but instead it sounds like this guy just you know derailed she said she continued so when i found out we would be joining him for a night on the town i kind of sorry she said whatever i'm just going to skip that sentence i kind of expected with all the free booze it would turn into a bit of a shit show after a 45 minute uber ride to the city we arrived at said nightclub stone cold sober and decided to play catch up by taking several shots of Grey Goose. Mm-mm. That's a problem. You can't play catch up. There's two problems here. Never play catch up. One, never show up to a club sober.

Very true. Playing catch up at a club is an expensive and dangerous venture. Yes. Two, taking shots of Grey Goose is not how you catch up. You catch up by making a couple double drink, double whatever, vodka drinks, and you just chug those. Yeah, the shot is not going to catch you up.

It's just going to derail. This then led to mixed drink after mixed drink. Apparently my tolerance for alcohol has plummeted because at this point I was bordering Brownout and I knew it. Around 1am we all decided to go to a late night bowling alley a block away from the club and I definitely could have called it a night

by then, but drunk me decided to tag along. No one's going club to bowling alley, especially with finance bros from Dallas. Are bowling alleys making a comeback? It sounds like they are. Maybe it was one of those bowling alleys, like a hybrid bar bowling alley like you see. There's one in Austin.

That's what I mean. I've seen those more and more. There's one in Austin that's a bowling alley. They have like five lanes. It's like a nightclub. And then they have a karaoke section too. It's just a wild scene. Yeah, a karaoke section?

I'm thinking it's something like that. And not like, you know, your typical birthday party. There's more to do than just throw bowling balls. Yeah. Or roll them. You can throw them if you want. Are you guys good bowlers? No.

You know, that's a little strange. I could see you being a weird bowler. Even if you were a bad bowler, I could just see you being a good bowler. I took bowling in college. My high score is a 211, which is respectable, but I think it's the only time I ever broke 200. I've broken 200. My buddy and I went through a bowling phase in high school.

He actually bought his own shoes at that point. I did not. I broke 200 a couple times in high school. He actually bought his own shoes at that point. I did not. But I broke 200 a couple times. I used to flirt with three. Yeah. What if it came out that Dave just had the Duncanville record for most 300s bowled in his local alley? Shout out to Redbird Lanes.

Sneaky shouts. I'm not giving a shout out to my local bowling alley because they're scumbags and I hate them. Wow. Yeah. Sheesh. Would love to know more about this oh no that's off mike damn all right let's go back to this story um let's see where we go here she said at this bowling alley i was standing by the bar drunkenly rambling to some guy who offered to buy me a drink

after topping off the gray goose and beer i had been consuming all night uh she got a gin and tonic i don't hate that when you're already at that point you start mixing in gin and tonic so just start drinking beers i excused myself the ladies room but where i began to vomit for quite some time four hours later i awoke and found myself in a pitch black room lying on what felt like a cold floor. Four hours later. So she time traveled. Yeah. Yes, I was in the bowling alley bathroom.

I felt my way to the door and crawled out of the bathroom into a completely empty and closed down bowling alley. What? How does that even happen? Wait a minute. How does no one that works there not check. What? How does that even happen? Wait a minute. How does no one that works there not check... What? The stall could be a full stall thing.

Like a full... But still. No, you've got to do a sweep of your place. If that's you, do you fire up a lane and just start getting reps in? You might. Oh, hell yeah.

I have questions about her friends. Like, how... Yeah. Did they just think that she left with the dude that she was talking to at the bar like how yeah how did they did they just think that she left with the dude that she was talking to the bar at like did they think she just sketchily went home did they get home and say like oh where'd she go there was a time i went to a concert with a female friend of mine and uh after the concert she had to use the restroom she went in and never came out i waited for like 20 30 minutes and she just never came out

and her phone was off and I was like I don't know what to do and finally I just left because I didn't know what else to do I remember that you were kind of concerned I didn't hear from her until 5pm the next day it was terrifying

but she was safe and sound wait so what happened to her she she was safe and sound. Wait, so what happened to her? She was in there for a while. Not longer than 30 minutes. It was probably like 10 or 15 minutes. And then she used an alternate exit that I didn't know existed. This was at the W, I believe.

It was right outside Moody Theater. Is that where the W is? Or is it another one? Yep, you're right. The W. Yep. And it's just a weird bathroom situation in there. And she just wouldn't come out.

And I was like, I threw her a ton of texts, called her, nothing. And she just started like wandering the streets. And her phone was turned off so she couldn't call an Uber or anything. I think she ended up walking to a friend's house. And the next day I heard from her roommate before I heard from her. And she wanted to assure me that she was okay It was weird. I I went out one time It was over south by and there are a lot of people out and my phone had no service late at night when I was trying To get a cab ride home

Or an uber home so I couldn't call one and sally was like well It's two in the morning like and she couldn't find me She saw that I was still downtown and I started walking in the general direction towards my place but i wasn't going to walk on the way there it's just too far but i figured i might as well start walking so she saw us in some weird area she freaked out she did the last thing you want your girlfriend to do at two in the morning when you already hammered it like during south by and cake and uber she alerted her entire family that she was worried about me and so then i started getting texts and calls from her family being like are you alive like is everything okay it's like yes am i quite drunk yes i am it's south by am i going to die no i just can't get a fucking uber because there's

no ubers and it's it's late at night it was awful finally i got one and it was just like waking up the next morning it was like god damn it i have to answer that. It's his entire family. Yeah, that's when you just keep in the family. And by that I mean y'all too. Yeah. Because that's just shaming you. Yeah, it was bad. For going off the grid. Yeah. Anyway, this girl said she flicked the lights on in the bathroom and began to try to find her phone,

which is MIA. She began to drunkenly panic as she was... Oh, no, I already read this. I'm sorry. She said it was 6 a.m. according to a wall clock in the entryway in Detroit without a phone. Also, the main doors were locked and the gate shut, so I was stuck inside. I found a phone on the front desk

and did the only thing I knew what to do. I called 911. I don't know if that's the move. I think you just call someone whose phone number you know and say, hey, get a hold of Tina, or whatever this girl's name could be. I would try Uber first, actually.

This sounds like a pretty chill sitch. You're in the bowling alley. It's not... Okay, it's kind of your fault, but not necessarily all your fault. You're there. I mean, while you're there, you may as well make the best of it.

You may as well go ball out in the arcade. Maybe go in the back, make some snacks. I don't know if this is an emergency. The cops arrived 30 minutes later, and I had to get in contact with the owner of the bowling alley to come open the doors, which took another hour. So she's sitting in the bowling alley while the cops are just outside.

Like, what do we do? They should have just taken one of those things and just hit the door over. Well, I get calling the police because let's say she set off some alarm. Yeah. A silent alarm, right? That's true. And the SWAT team comes in.

Next thing you know, you've got like two in your dome and you're gone. You've got to be careful out there. You want to just let them know, like, look, I'm here in this bowling alley. It's not what it looks like. I'm notassing intentionally how gross are bowling alley shoes by the way disgusting they're the worst i'm surprised dave even wears them like they did this spray stuff and they're like it's gonna clean them out get out of here not as gross as the actual bowling ball and one of the grosser things i've seen people do and this actually happened in college quite a bit food while they're bowling yeah go eat their hamburger like in between honest i never even thought about that until right now

and now i'm disgusted with my former germs that have been in my body you're just sharing finger holes with random strangers just oh my god i'm just eating chicken i don't think i'm ever gonna i'm never bowling again she said finally around 7 45 i was released uh the whole situation situation was completely mortifying. To top it off, I had to call my mother to drive two hours into the city and come pick me up from the police station. She said, luckily, I didn't get any criminal charges, but I'll never live this one down.

I don't know what the... I mean, okay, I'm starting to understand why you would want to call the police there. Because without someone like that getting you out you have to wait until they open the next day which is probably 10 a.m no i mean bowling alley it could be yeah it could be 11 or 12 yeah so i can kind of understand now why she would she would go to 9-1-1 i went out uh at university of michigan with some of my friends when i was young and when i was there i lost my car keys i was young. And when I was there, I lost my car keys. I was just, I was just going through Ann Arbor, lost my car keys. Uh, I went to the Subaru

dealership because I was driving a Subaru legacy at that point, major shouts. Okay. Weird flex. And then, uh, they were like, yeah, it's going to take a few days to get a new key made. It's just how it is. It's an older car, whatever. So I had some obligations that I had to go to in northern Michigan. And so my mom had to drive four hours south from Harbor Springs to Ann Arbor, pick me up, and drive me back all in one foster home. Then she had to drive me back down to Ann Arbor after. Yikes.

When I could finally go pick up my key to my car. If I think I lost my key in one of those phone parties. Oh, God. Oh, don't get me started on phone parties. Phone parties are trash. Phone parties are the worst thing of all time. Yes. Everyone's been to one phone party, and it was just okay.

I went to one phone party, and it was the worst time of my life, and I promised to never go back, and I never did. Was that with us? Or was that in college? No, it was... I don't remember. It was a long-ass time. Wasn't it like a couple weekends ago when you went to the...

Stop. You were at the square, and you went home? Yeah, you were hanging out with Fisai. Dude, after you leave a phone party, and you're just soaked in the soapy... Sludge? The foam. The sludge. After you leave a foam party and you're just soaked in the soapy... Sludge? The foam. The sludge.

There's some nets. You're sitting there. I almost said the other kind of fluids that are in there, but it's disgusting. And then you're driving home. It's the worst thing ever. Why are you driving home? Don't drive, buddy. Yeah, don't drink and drive.

Don't foam and drive. Ride home in an Uber. I get it. You didn't want to wake up in San Marcos. Okay. Hey, so if you had to be locked overnight in any recreational place not let's say hangover and being hammered not was you know let's say that's not even a part of the yeah you just get free raid what would it be i'm

think i'm going back to water park oh yeah that would be tight to have water park night water park could go hard imagine having a slitter bond all to yourself Oh, yeah. That would be tight to have at the park. Schlitterbahn? Nightwater Park could go hard. Imagine having Schlitterbahn all to yourself. Oh, my God. It's three parks in one. Will, have you ever been to Schlitterbahn? Nah.

I'm good. I'm good. Will, you don't know what it's like, dog. We don't got to go. Let's go. I'll go with you. Nah, we're good. I'll go, Dave.

Let's do it. Will, it is really something. Let's go. I'll go with you. No, we're good. I'll go, Dave. Let's do it. Will, it is really something. It's world famous. I'm surprised Dylan's not just like the local batting cages. You know what? An arcade. Any place with like a traditional arcade would be very fun. When I was in fifth grade, we went to London for spring break, and we went to Sega World.

Ooh. It was awesome. I was a Nintendo boy, but that would have still been fun it was so cool Sega was trash no no no worst gaming console of all time no that is

what's worse Dreamcast Echo the Dolphin went hard as did Sonic the Hedgehog without Sonic there was nothing I didn't have one, but my friends did and I enjoyed going over

to their house to play. People got it just to play Sonic. No. People got it for Echo. People got it for Primal Rage. No. People got it for... They had some hardcore games

on there that they didn't have on Nintendo. Primal Rage was garbage. No, it wasn't. Man, shut up. Fuck you. Come at me. Hey, where do you want

to get locked in hypothetically? I just said, you stupid bitch. He just said You stupid bitch He just said He said the batting cages He said the batting cages Yeah right Dorn wants to go get locked in

Lasertag Yeah Lasertag was tight That place next to Gold's Gym Off 290 How does that place open With the fake UFO Like stuck in the side of the building

Yeah Is that fake I don't think it's a real UFO Fuck Lasertag sucks Lasertag does not suck stuck in the side of the building. Yeah. Is that fake? I don't think it's a real UFO. Fuck. Laser tag sucks. Laser tag does not suck. Dude, laser tag is for kids who are scared to play paintball.

Yeah, that's fair. Also cheaper than paintball, so I get it. Paintball's tight. Paintball's expensive, and it fucking hurts. It does hurt. I've never done it. I could take it when I was a kid, but I think if I went out there now, I'd be crying. You've got to go paintballing, dude. I've gotten shot with one. I've never done it. I could take it when I was a kid, but I think if I went out there now, I'd just get, I'd be crying. You gotta go paintballing, dude.

I've gotten shot with one. I've never played paintball, though. It's fine. One time we... It's like you're at war, but you don't actually die. I've never been like, man, I wish I was at war right now.

Hey, well, let's do that. Let's go play paintball. You need to listen to more No Limit. You want to be in a gunfight? No. Hey, one time, so we had this crew that paintballed all the time. And some dudes we know, they were members of the United Methodist Church, and they would do lock-ins.

And even though that wasn't our church, we would go to the lock-ins. They hated us, and probably rightfully so. They did a paintball lock-in. So they did like, we got to play paintball all night. And we had it with the only people who brought our own guns. That's a litigation. I come in there with my autococker, man. I was going to say,

you just light people up. I had the backpack with the CO2 and we went in there just like lurking people. I remember, oh man. It was certified on site. Dude,

I remember this poor girl, she stood up and she didn't know what she was doing. She like stood up to like wave down know what she was doing. She stood up to wave down one of the referees. You just unloaded a clip into her? I didn't unload it. Somebody shot her right in the downstairs region.

And it stopped down the game. What's wrong with y'all? I don't know if they were aiming for that. We had a girl that she had to stop playing in gym class with us because we played prison ball, which is essentially just dodgeball. And we would do the thing where you... You called it prison ball? Yeah, there was a prison you had to go to and they had pins that you had to hit but this girl was a pin guard and we had one person that would throw the ball up in the air and she would put her tractor yeah and so she would look up in the air

and then we had just smoker we had had another guy who had the best accuracy and the hardest he was the one that i talked about on the podcast uh from the beginning of circling guy who had the best accuracy and the hardest. He was the one that I talked about on the podcast from the beginning of Circling Back who had Native Baller on the back of his car. He would just wreck her. And so finally she had to stop playing with us because it was unsafe. We were going to stop throwing. What were we supposed to do? Dude, prison would be a lot tighter if they played prison ball.

Yeah. I mean, dodgeball was fun, though. Yeah, do they play that anymore? not i don't know let's go play paintball well it's pretty fun man we need micah to go okay okay we could probably get him yeah congrats to micah on the three the 13.1 i'll let you again i'll let you guys know if he puts another sticker on his car. At this point, does he just put the 26.2 on since he's done half twice? Can you do 13.1 plus 13.1 equals? What are your least favorite bumper stickers?

That. A 13.1 is a pretty weird one because you're like, yeah, I did half of what other people can do. Honestly, anything that lets me know how much you've ran before. Yeah. That just is too much for me. There are a lot of bumper stickers out there that I just really hate. Dave, there's a guy that worked out at the gym, at the Golds we used to go to. And he had 26.2 tattooed on his calf.

And underneath it, he had like 12 notches, meaning he had done it 12 different times. He just kept adding to it. Like, dude, we get it. You were a runner. And he weighed like 110 pounds. He was just tiny. Runner's body, man. He had runner's body.

Hardcore. There's no fat on that guy. Anyway. Man, we've covered a lot of just weird topics today. We have. It's been fun. I feel groggy as fuck. Did you remember to press the record button?

Oh, fuck. Should we get out of here? Probably. Go follow Circling Back Pod on Twitter and Instagram. Just do it. Did you say where you'd be locked in, hypothetically? Sega World. That's such a give up.

Why? Because you... The only reason you're saying it Is because you referenced it 10 minutes ago And you don't want to think of anything No I can't really think of anything There's something better than Sega World Like There's not even a Sega World anymore

There's no way that still exists We had a place called The Jungle And it had mini golf And an arcade I just play hippos The entire time Dude I can't think I'm sick dog

This is my Jordan game Well it ain't going well I'm just br. I'm sick, dog. This is my Jordan game. Well, it ain't going well. I'm just bricking. I'm 0 for 14. Dude, just get this guy off the court. Your Jordan game. Get out of here. Live for it.

Yeah, man. It'll be game seven. I'll say this. I feel worse than I did when we started the podcast. Well, you should because you talk about Sega World more than anybody ever should. Sega. Let's get out of here. I'll buy an Xbox One one today or tomorrow no get a playstation 4 nah why why my my old game squad they are xbox boys wait dave why are you gonna be a gamer now i so i shouldn't tell you this i shouldn't tell you this i'm

actually going to costco today and i'm thinking about pulling trig on a uh a playstation are you for real maybe i'll get both because Because... Wait, Dave, tell me your thought process. I know he fucks with it sometimes. I fuck with FIFA. What are you trying to get into? Just like Call of Duty. Really? Yeah, Battlefield, all that stuff. We're losing another one, huh? I won't be. I'm not going to be

late night guy. This will do you well. You'll turn into it. Ah, damn it. You're right. Because all your boys are. I wonder if I gave that shit a go if I would get sucked in. I don't think I would. I don't think you would because when you start playing online and for the first month you're just getting murked as soon as the game starts, it's really frustrating.

I'm just fresh meat. Yeah. And I've seen you play NBA Jam and when you lose a game to Will or me, you don't take it very well. I don't. So I don't see you taking it. You get quite upset. I'm a rage quitter.

Yeah, you are. I turn the game off with like 10 seconds to go every time in NBA Jam. Because it doesn't count if the game doesn't end. Everybody knows that. I hate it when you do that. You can't see the stats. Pissing me off. I want to see how many points Mitch Richmond got

Mitch he was way too good in that game it didn't make sense he was the fastest he had range it made no sense he was sick he shouldn't be that good

he was a good NBA player he's fucked let's get out of here okay bye see you later bye okay bye see you later bye Bye.