Circling Back - Aliens, Exploding Candles, and Chicken Brains

Episode Date: May 19, 2021

Wow, it's Wednesday of Podcast Week already? Very cool. We talk about who we'd most want to represent the human race when meeting aliens, an old man who attributes his longevity to chicken brains, Gwyneth Paltrow's candles keep exploding, This Weekend in Fun, and Brett's Breaking News (which gets admittedly unhinged).  Contribute to our campaign to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society: pages.lls.org/mwoy/ctx/austin21/wmedia Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (17:31) Worst Of: Follow-Up (20:13) Let's Meet Them Aliens (36:47) Old Man Eating Chicken Brains (53:40) Gwyneth Paltrow’s Candles Keep Exploding (1:03:37) This Weekend in Fun (1:16:03) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Truff: www.truff.com (15% off using STEAM) Policygenius: www.policygenius.com Chime: www.chime.com/steam Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge presented by busy hard seltzer. The only hard seltzer with vitamin C and super fruit acerola. My name's Will DeFries to my right, Dave Ruff. All right, all right. Just here, I'll just say it. I bought the dip. What kind?

Did it for dippy. Bob Armstrong. Washmedia.shop. Seven layer. For all your dippy merch. Seven layer dip is trash. No, it's not. Can we agree? Nah. No, it's not. Can we agree?

Nah. No, it's not. Nah. I don't know why we need to start the episode slandering seven-layer dip. It's so bad, dude. Is it? It's all right. No, I was talking about the other dip.

Like Skull Copenhagen? What are you talking about? Yeah. Really? You a long cut guy? Yeah. I horseshoe. Yeah, we need to get some fat horseshoes in our lips that's so gross when's the last time you dipped um i was in eighth grade i threw up

multiple times and i haven't done it since i've never dipped anything in a pouch. Big pouch guy. Well, like, I'm scared of the... I put one in a bad spot. I'm scared of, like, the... I'm scared of just having, like, the tobacco just freely floating around my mouth. I feel like I'm going to choke on it and then just look like a total B-I-T-C-H. You don't want to get it in your teeth and shit? Yeah, it's, like, scary. It's free floating.

Be careful with that stuff, man, you know? Dude, it gets you spinning on the golf course, though. Let's go. You always got one boy who just busts out a 10. Who wants some? Slapping. Just snapping his fingers. I heard you couldn't even pop a can.

Are you kidding? Weren't you one of those guys? Dude, that was the only part of it that was cool to me. Like your metacarpals weren't, like, flexible enough to pop? Is it true that you used to put a can of dip in your Wrangler pockets and then put an iron over it so that you'd have the mark on your butt? Dylan absolutely had the crease. I did not.

Dude, yes, you did. You had the circle. You were the crease boy. I was never a dip guy. Dude, they were just disallowing goals for you all the time because you were just living in the crease. How are your Vegas nights doing? They won last night.

Swag. 3-1, man. We're back. We're back. Are you going to go to a Stanley Cup Finals game if they make it that far? I would love to. I don't know how much. Tickets are probably hard to come by.

Is there room on the bandwagon for me to hop on? Hop on, dog. Let's go. It's still a young enough team, man. You can still. Yeah, you can hop on. I mean, you're not day one like me, but whatever. I would only be hopping on for the playoffs.

I'm riding with the Panthers. Roar. Oh, big Thurs guy, huh? Roar. We're not doing Thurs. I don't like it when people refer to the Carolina Panthers as the Thurs, and it makes me uncomfortable. I've never heard that.

Is that, you mean Chingy? I like it when you do it right, Thur. I don't think it's connected to Chingy. No one's mad because I made them listen to a song before the pod. I was in a great mood coming in here, and Dave twice tanked my mood with just a terrible song. Brett didn't help. Terrible song.

Can I just say that she's the girl that all the bad guys want? Who was that? Bowling for Soup, Denton's own. You have to support Texas music. The name of the band is Bowling for Soup? What does that even mean? I don't know, Dylan. Do you want to go through every band name? What does that mean? That's terrible.

Just to be clear, Bowling's lame, but Soup is the perfect food. Hey, yeah. I love that band a lot. I didn't know we had Bill Simmons in this. We have the sports guy in the studio today. This is so cool. Yeah, you talk about your Knights.

What about the other teams playing? I don't really know what's going on. I've had some golden Knights in Vegas with my boys, Spanky, drinking Patron on the rocks. Is that one of his boys? I don't know. He's always got like his – Spanky.

He's got his boys that he talks about going to Vegas, and he always drinks Patron on the rocks when he's playing blackjack. I only have Duh boys. True. True. Back when Bill Simmons was a sports guy for ESPN, he used to love talking about his Vegas trips on podcasts. Just like the hangover.

We are due for a Vegas trip, though. You understand that. I've only been once, dude. Yeah, we need to go as a squad. I don't know if I can top it, though, dude. Going on a Tuesday with my pregnant wife was sick. You got crazy. It was so lit, dude.

Yeah. We went to dinner. I was in bed at 1030. Like, oh, dude, it was a movie. Let's go bet on some games, throw some bones, and get out of there. No one talks about it, but I once sent a steak back at a high-end steakhouse in a casino. It was overcooked. You know, the higher in the steakhouse, the more-end steakhouse in a casino. It was overcooked.

You know, the higher end the steakhouse, the more you should feel enabled to do so. I agree. Thank you for knowing that. Yeah. It was a $90 steak, not to brag. That's so much. Wow, dude. It was Vegas prices. We get it, man.

You have it like that. Well, I was on a heater, man. I was up at least $100. You spent it all on a steak. Yep. I like that. That's good. Very cool.

You reinvested quickly. Very cool. You know what else I a steak. Yep. I like that. That's good. You reinvested quickly. Very cool. You know what else I had? It's like a free steak. What did you do with that extra $10? Calamari. Really? Calamari's a little overrated, but it's good.

You're overrated. You don't like fried rubber bands? Dylan's like, I don't like the one with the legs on it. Ew, it's like tentacles. I don't like the legs on it. That's Randy's favorite kind of calamari, the tentacle ones. So my sister-in-law told her daughters that if they peed in the pool, that they would grow a tentacle.

And the other day, I was joking with one of them. I was like, I'm going to pee in this pool. And she looked at me, and she was like, seriously looked at me, and she was like, please don't. Like, no, you'll grow a tentacle. And I was like, wait, you believe this? Why didn't they just tell them the old lie that everyone's told, that it'll dye the water blue?

That's the lie. The tentacle was a little scarier. You don't want a tentacle. Yeah, that's kind of dark. My tentacles. That's a little dark, I think. Why is tentacle so close to testicle? Ask Randy.

Why does Randy know? There should be a difference in those words, like more of a difference. There is. Different letters and everything. There should be more. It should be different Like more of a difference. There is. Different letters and everything. There should be more. It should be different syllables. It's too close to the other.

How do we get here from talking about your steak? Dylan's all wanting to hear Bowling for Soup songs, which I can play it on my phone. No, no, no. We're good, dude. We're good. That was the thing, though. She was the girl that all the bad guys wanted. Would you stop?

That means that I wouldn't have wanted her. I know. It's just the song. I was one of those nice guys that finished last, you know? thing, though. She was the girl that all the bad guys wanted. Would you stop, dude? That means that I wouldn't have wanted her. I was a fucking... I know. It's just a song. I was one of those nice guys that finished last, you know? Oh, man. I was like, come back to Texas. All right. Bowling for soup.

Ugh. Ugh. Can we play something, like, something dope? Dude, I'd like to apologize. I'd like to get ahead of this right now, I'd like to apologize. I'd like to get ahead of this right now. I'd like to apologize. My performance today is sponsored by the Caucasian Zombie. Tonight is the first day that I've been in the studio working on Very Little Sleep.

Really? Oh, here we go. Doing the Dylan thing. All the people saying, just wait. Oh, man, dude, you're going to be so sleep deprived. Oh, my. Dude, I'll just wait. Yeah, this is the day that they were correct on. How you get dog i've been really cocky about it i made

it four weeks without having like a miserable miserable day don't you all have two night nurses yeah they were they were kind of down bad last night too we had some we had some national hot chicken for dinner so they were just doing right off yesterday friday how much sleep did you get other than out in the bathroom. Friday. How much sleep did you get? Other dad out in the room? We don't talk about our sleep publicly. Actually, I didn't. You know what?

I don't want people to look at my performance through a different lens today. That's true. It's a good call. But because people get really mad when I introduce myself and say my allergies are bothering me, then some guy's girlfriend

who doesn't even listen to the pod leaves a voicemail, calls me out for it. What? A long time ago, pre-Circling Back days, a young lady left a voicemail on the pipeline and said...

Was it about the sniffling? She goes, I don't really listen to the pod, but my boyfriend does, and I just want to leave this message to the guy who is complaining about his allergies. We don't care. keep it to yourself really yeah i don't know why i didn't play about your well-being dave i'll put that out there to be fair i kind of agree with her she called in not not even as a listener to let us know correct care about your allergies yes seems like a weird waste of time to me Maybe she was Having a bad day

Down bad if you will Is what the younger people might say If you're down bad You ever pick up a phone And call a podcast You don't even listen to To air your grievances I've probably done something like that

Usually I like I stay off the internet And I like Don't talk shit to people Cause I had a bad day Nah I'll normally just fire up Some bowling for soup

And just vibe in my office. That's your down bad mix. I didn't get to answer your question. You were in for dance with me last night when I said, as soon as we dropped in on that third or fourth match, I was like, I got to go put the baby down. So I laid down in the back of the truck. And that was it for the night.

I didn't come back. Very cool. Spoiler, we did not win that round, by the night. I didn't come back. Very cool. Spoiler, we did not win that round, by the way. I didn't think you did. Mm-hmm. Yeah. No cap. Thank you for clarifying.

I'm absolutely not capping. Right. No, I didn't think you were. You're literally wearing a cap right now. Yeah, but I wasn't capping. Anyway, what are we doing today, man? You're a geriatric millennial, dude. Dude, stop, dude.

No, you really are. No, that's fair. I don't care. That's fair. Like, that's what you are. How does it feel to be late 30s while, like, Will and I, mainly me, are mid 30s? I'm mid 30s. Yeah, so are you.

You're pretty mid. I'm not. I am mid, yeah, but you're not. I'm mid 30s. I'm mid. Doesn't late start at 7? No. 8.

7 to 10. Everybody knows that. Your July birthday, is that correct, Dave? Because I believe when you turn your next birthday, you'll be turning 37, which coincidentally is also my age. Right, but so you're acknowledging that I'm not that age now. I'm acknowledging that we're basically the same age. Pound. Clowns.

Cell phone. Geriatric millennial. Nice. Sick. Yeah. Why are all the generations at war right now with each other? What's going on? I don't know, but I'm into it.

Can we just go back to hating the boomers and move on with our day? That was easy. Yeah. Anyway. You guys want to hear the next few weeks we're partnering with LLS, Leukemia and Lymphoma Society? Yeah. We've all been affected by cancer in some way, shape, or form.

We're campaigning to raise money in the Man and Woman of the Year, in our case, the Team of the Year campaign. I'm out on cancer, for the record. Thank you. That's big. Yeah. LLS does more to advance science and support patients than any other cancer organization.

They're the largest nonprofit dedicated to creating a world without blood cancers. And since 1949, they've invested nearly 1.3 billion in groundbreaking research, pioneering many of today's most innovative approaches. Hit our donate link in the description of this episode. Give what you can. Big stuff.

Also go follow circling back pot and watch media on the Grom. You can also go follow all both of them on the tick tock. Dave, will you just throw out your thing so I can stop seeing in the corner there we go you killed that that's my good shit yeah way to go micah people like micah we have we have some reviews that people left since our last reviews really yeah are they dope one says old gene loved homemade bread but for real how does dylan not know what a sourdough starter is after 2020? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Okay.

No one knows what a sourdough starter is. I don't know if you looked at the Discord, but a lot of people actually. Really? I don't know where to look on the Discord. Yeah, the Discord, they kind of dunked on you last night. Really? Yeah. Is that a common thing, a sourdough starter? Yeah.

You kind of got dunked on during yesterday's recording of Sunday Scaries as well. I'm sorry. I don't know how common it is. Not by me. By the guest on this week's Sunday Scaries. Who's the guest? You'll have to subscribe and find out, Dylan. I don't know how common a sourdough starter is, but using context clues,

I was able to understand, like, oh, that's probably what it is. It turns out I was right. I mean, Dylan not knowing is kind of a non-starter for me. I mean, obviously, it has something to do with the process of making sourdough bread. You're getting warmer. I'm the kind of guy, I'm bold and confident enough in myself. I will ask questions if I don't know what's going on.

You just love to learn. I do. I don't care if people say you don't know what a sourdough starter is. Who cares? It's not a reflection of my intelligence. I've never heard of that dude hey bro you know i'm saying do you guys want to hear two more reviews only if it's about sourdough well this one's got this one is this guy makes a good point he was talking about our

segment on kid rock steakhouse from a couple episodes ago he said the kid definitely missed out on the busy mixed drink called the american badass arola he's not wrong he's not wrong pretty good we also got one from some dude. It says, wow. It's a super fruit. Whether it be wanting to escape the typical work week's banality by imagining a fictional hyper-niche bar or avoiding my congressman talk by playing over him as I drive around town, this pot and company has been good to me.

I'm glad to see two friends and some elder fellow with a new friend group go so strong over the years. Much appreach. Much appreach. Much appreach. Wait, what? He drives around with his congressman? Hard to say, Dave. Hey, figure it out, man. I've already closed out of iTunes, so I can no longer make any clarifications on these.

Use the context clues, dude. You're so good at that. I don't drive around with my congressman. Why not? Maybe you should, man. Because they're all crooks. Yeah. Yeah.

Gotta trust them. Yeah. They'll sweep the rug out from under you take my money i can't drive around because i got i got a bunch of moonshine in the back make him mad what about that guy who's making moonshine up in the hills in their hills what i should have found some terrible country artist my dad had bottle. You gave him moonshine for a little bit. And I'm not going to lie. I really enjoyed that time.

It was during fall. Had some cinnamon in it. Mm-hmm. Mm. Why don't you just go down to the liquor store and buy a bottle of booze? Yeah, I got the booze. Say. Because I don't think.

If I want like a cinnamon thing, it'd be more fun to have like a homemade moonshine than go get like a bottle of Fireball or something, David. Yeah, get some Fireball, Dave. That'd be sick. Dude, Fireball had a moment. Fireball or Jägermeister? Fireball. You got to shoot one right now, Fireball.

Fireball. Really? I don't mind taking Fireball shots. Jäger is such an aggressively, it's like, I don't know, man. Fireball also has a place. Like if you're skiing and it's cold outside, taking a shot of Fireball tastes amazing. It's like a little nip, you know?

I'm not going to rain on their parade. I'm not doing it while I'm sitting on a back road or anything, you know? Jaeger is like cough medicine. That's what it tastes like. There was a moment that I low-key enjoyed Jaeger, but... Yeah. Taking Jaeger bombs was fun for a little bit. Jaeger bombs.

Fucking Jaeger bombs. Remember that video? Who was that? What was that? Who was that? Was that Jimmy Totron? Was that Dom Mazzetti? It was Dom Mazzetti. Big stuff.

Fucking Jager Bombs. Dude, Dom Mazzetti had some funny vids. Yeah, he was good. Hey, we also got Patreon. Patreon.com slash Circling Back Podcast. We did Worst of yesterday, which we're about to do a follow-up on one of the stories. And also voicemails dropping Thursdays. No one's doing Friday voicemails dropping on Thursdays.

Yeah, you don't see that anywhere. That's just the kind of service you get from us. No podcasts are doing that. We under-promise, over-deliver. Yeah. It's big stuff. Patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. Dylan, I think we have a new sponsor alert, unless we did a read for these guys.

No cap? No cap. This is not a new sponsor. Nice. New to Will, though. They're new to me. I mean, I've got their stuff at home, and I've been loving it. I've been drizzling it all over everything.

Call me a drizzle boy. Love me a luxury hot sauce. It's a mega truff scene. Dude, that's good. Yeah. Truffle. Dude, if I have hot sauce, it needs to be luxury. And truff is a luxury hot sauce brand inspired by the elegance and indulgence of truffles.

When they send you the package, it's like you're opening a case of fine jewels or something. Dude, I feel like I'm in a Disney movie starring Nick Cage or something. I feel like it needs to be handcuffed to me as I walk through the casino to the vault. Take it easy. It's the style and swagger of the streetwear culture meeting the Instagram-centric life cycle of food. Exclusive eye-popping and mouth-watering.

A hot sauce brand like no other. Dylan just described the nuclear football that the president is alleged to have handcuffed to him. I was more thinking Ocean's Eleven when they took those jewels to the vault. Oh, that too. Yeah. Well, if you're not familiar with truff, I'd suggest that you get familiar because its original hot sauce blends black truffles, ripe chili, savory spices, and organic agave nectar. Are you kidding?

That's so nectar. Organic. That's so nectar. I love agave nectar. Are you kidding? That's so nectar. Organic. That's so nectar. I love agave. I'm critical of truffle sometimes because sometimes people over-truffle stuff. And when it gets over-truffled, that's when it's like,

okay, guys, what are we doing here? This stuff, it's the perfect amount of truffle. You can control the amount of truffle you put onto whatever item of food you want. Give me all the truffle. Sometimes I'll drizzle a little of this sauce. I'm truffle. And then I'll just take a hit of it. I'll just turn it up.

Really? I'll just take a sip. Really? Yeah, dude. There might be a little dust on the bottle. I don't care, man. Don't let it fool you about what's inside. It's truff.

Yeah, it's a truff scene in there. It's the number one best-selling sauce on Amazon and the number one best-selling sauce on Whole Foods. What? More than one billion organic shout-outs on Instagram. Dude, this is a viral sensation. They even got the white truff hot sauce that's infused with rare and decadent white truffle. Oh, that's a good shit.

God. A good, good truff. Give me some more of this. Get 15% off site-wide plus free shipping with promo code STEAM at truff.com. That's 15% off everything at truff, T-R-U-F-F. F as in fantastic. Dot com. Promo code STEAM, baby.

Knock if you truff. There we go. We do have a follow-up to yesterday's winning story. Are you kidding me? Dude. Did you Venmo the $10 value? No. So he did say, he's like, I'm glad y'all enjoyed the story.

Go ahead and donate that money to LLS. Wow. What a guy. We money to LLS. Wow. What a guy. We have the best listeners, man. So this guy hooked up with the wrong girl yesterday. If you don't know what we're talking about, I'm not going to explain it any further because you can go to patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast and figure it out yourself. He did clarify that the girl that he hooked up with incorrectly did hook up with another guy that weekend.

She was just looking to party. And he also clarified that he did hook up with another guy that weekend. She was just looking to party. And he also clarified that he did hook up with her again as well. So this girl's having, she had a really good formal weekend. He's the guy all the bad girls want. Well, he didn't know that he was hooking up with the wrong person. She was fully aware of everything that was going on. We do also have an update from our friend who fell asleep on Canal Street. He did not get robbed somehow, but he did get robbed in one way,

and that's through a $19,000 hospital bill that ended up being somewhere around only $200 after insurance. Good thing that guy had insurance. That guy had good insurance. Jeez. I wonder if it was HMO. There's also, in addition to this, it says, funny story there, too. When he woke up in the hospital, he thought he had a ton of beads around his neck from his Bourbon Street trip. But I don't know if he did.

I think he just had a neck brace. Yeah. He was just flashing the boys. Yeah. I know how that goes. Do people still do that? Are the beads still a thing? When we went, I will say, I mean, I know we were there for New Year's, so I had a crowd that was maybe there for the very stereotypical parts of New Orleans.

The beads were very much still a thing. Of course. Yeah. You're all every time I've seen you in New Orleans like you're just carrying around

like a huge thing of beads. Yeah because I just I've been flashing my titties all over the street. No I think it's the other way around. I think you're like oh let's see what you got don't move out.

Dylan's the dude who comes back from vacation with all the wristbands still on his wrist. That is me. The neon ones. Yeah he wears his ACL wristband until the next ACL.l absolutely dude i freaking love it dude this guy parties that's epic like why do you have x's on your hands you're 38 like what's going on dude being in the hospital

like when we had to sleep there for three days after fritz was born like i couldn't wait to get that hospital thing off my arm yeah can i just show him just show him ID? What? What? What? Show me what? ID. Oh. Like, hey. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Sounded like something else. I mean, that is one way of identifying someone, I guess. Yeah. An ID is a good identification. Oh, man. What are we even doing?

I don't know. That's all we got on the follow-up. If you want more, go to patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. We even have some free tasters on the feed, on our main feed. Go check those out. Let's talk about what we really want to talk about. There's a tweet that went on our TL last night that was asking that if we had to have one person meet the aliens. Let's meet them aliens.

Who's the human representative? A lot of alien talk last few days. The aliens ask for only one representative to meet with them. Who do you want representing all of us and why? Cat Pack correctly said that we would want Dave in his Arby's polo. Dude, I am not the ambassador. How long have you been holstering take me to your meter? I wish, I wish – not long.

It's not something I think about often. I hated how much I laughed at that tweet when I was sitting on my couch last night falling asleep to the mayor of Easton. Add D. Carter Ruff on Twitter and Snap for that matter. Add me on the group. Add DC Ruff on Instagram. I had a couple thoughts and they – it all goes back to Randy on his roller shoes. Our Randy, not your dog.

Can you clarify whether or not your dog has roller shoes? He does not. Okay. Just making sure it would be mega cute though. But then I kind of go back and forth between that and just random street where Adam Sandler, just pap just random street wear Adam Sandler. Just paparazzi photo Adam Sandler. You want him to roll up to the alien race with just basketball shorts that go down to his knees?

Legitimately, me in the Arby's shirt is Adam Sandler on a Wednesday going to get coffee. He gets way too much. He doesn't get roasted enough for his fits. I feel like people are accepting of him because it's Adam Sandler. But he's a worse dresser than MJ. Yeah, but when you famous people, it's almost like, I don't know. It's more than just like they can get away with it. It becomes like their own personal little brand in a way.

And they can get away with whatever they want. It's really obnoxious. Those shorts are like halfway down his shin. It's not a good look. No. I was on an Instagram the other day. I don't remember whose it was, but it was doing a bunch of movies from certain actors and saying, like, which one's better than this one?

And they had one come up, and it was Adam Sandler's, and it said it was between Happy Gilmore and Big Daddy. And I was like, well, this is no contest. Happy Gilmore is going to win by a landslide. Well, I voted for Happy Gilmore, and I was in the 23% of people that said Happy Gilmore, and the rest of the people said Big Daddy. Are you kidding me? What?

Kids don't respect nothing. I was sitting there, and I was floored. I almost DMed the account. I was like, hey, what? That upsets me. I was sitting there and I was floored. I almost DMed the account. I was like, hey, what?

That upsets me. Big Daddy was probably the last Adam Sandler movie I really, really enjoyed. But I didn't enjoy it as much as, say, Happy Gilmore. Big Daddy is... Little Nicky I thought was fine. But it wasn't. It had its moments. Big Daddy is the worst of the good Adam Sandler movies. Yeah.

For me, it's like when a punk band finally gets a high-end producer and they bring them in. They really just dumbed down Adam Sandler movies. Yeah. For me, it's like when a punk band finally gets a high-end producer and they bring him in. They really just dumbed down Adam Sandler in that movie and made him mainstream. They did. They snipped him. So you're choosing Adam Sandler dressed like shit.

This is how I win. But it's got to be Uncut Gems, Adam Sandler. That's the caveat there. What, like the alien ship is landing in some giant cornfield? Holy shit. He's like, holy shit. Do it.

Do the rest of it. They came. Holy shit. Oh, my goodness. No, I think it's Adam Sandler, but he's doing it as Opera Man. Opera Man was a great bit. I mean, you can't say you didn't enjoy Opera Man. Opera Man was good, man.

Oh, we're dating ourselves. Yeah, definitely are. It's all right. Definitely are. I'm a geriatric millennial. It's okay. Dude, but he's in that category of well off enough to where you can just dress like a total dickhead. Exactly what I was trying to say, but you probably put it much better.

Yeah. Thank you. I'm with Tim Duncan in that group with MJ. You're right. Yeah. Oh, I thought you were talking about to meet the aliens. No, no, no. No, I wasn't lying.

Tim would be way too pragmatic going up. Like, hey, what are you guys doing here? Tim, he just throwing down bankers. 12 feet. Well, Tim didn't have to dress tight. Like, he was in San Antonio. What does that mean? You're saying they don't have swag?

Yeah. It's a pretty swagless city. It's true. Yeah. Hence you being courtside in your square-toe boots. You think I can do that in Chicago? It's down-home roots. Sorry.

Chicago, they're putting up with the mezzanine. I can't believe you were courtside in boots with no fur. That's pretty hilarious. Were the bottoms even red? No, they weren't. They were my Larry Mahan ostrich ones that I've had for like 17 years. I can't tell if people are doing bits in the mentions of this tweet. People are saying like Chelsea Clinton.

Okay. No, that dude. Don't. I got it. Jeff Taggy. Who is that dude? I don't know. He's definitely a Trump reply guy.

Yeah, he absolutely is. Pete Buttigieg? Someone said The Rock. Nobody wants Mayor Pete to meet the aliens. The Rock, maybe. The Rock would be tight. Ooh, Jeff Goldblum. Jeff Goldblum's not a bad one.

He's got drip. He knows how to work with dinosaurs already. It kind of works. He's endearing. Okay, but do you want the intellectual smart type, or do you want the Rock type, just the total alpha? Why do we need a smarty pants

we just want someone to greet the aliens and let them feel welcome and safe and the rock is super charming you know I'm gonna vote

for the lead singer of Eve 6 but only after he legally changes his name to podcast dude but what if the rock has to lay the smackdown

on their Rudy Pooo candy ass? That's a good question. You can't... What do you think about that? He's intimidating. I mean, look at him. What if we sent Rashiki? What about Guy Fieri?

No one's talking about the fact that... What if we sent J-Bone as Guy Fieri? Now, answer to me. Yeah. No, I'm fine here and there. Can you guys actually park over there? I'm not trying to be a dick. People listening who don't know who J-Bone is.

J-Bone's just throwing discs at their flying saucer. J-Bone's our disc golf influencer friend. 75% of our listeners at least know who J-Bone is. You guys want to bang change right now? Bang chains. What about Fred Durst? I call him P.F chains. What about Fred Durst, dude? I call him PF Chains. Fred Durst, his stock is soaring.

He's the opposite of Bitcoin right now. Oh, Limp Bizkit at Lollapalooza. Yeah. Guys, and I don't mean to, like, cuck that segment, but we're going to go through band by band the Lollapalooza lineup. Dude, yeah, so when we used to do that for ACL on Circling, or on Touching Base, everyone loved that segment. There was one dude.

Yeah, they went crazy for it. There was one dude who thought we were getting paid to do that, and we weren't. Definitely not, unfortunately. That'd be tight, though. They're like, dude, we need these guys.

ACL's just not a big enough concert. We need this small to mid-sized pod to just break it down. How many lines down on the Lollapalooza lineup did you get until you didn't recognize anybody? I got to line seven,

and then I had to bow out. I think I got whatever line. I think it was Freddie Gibbs. I don't know. I just don't know. I got to line seven and then I had to bow out. I think I got whatever line. I think it was Freddie Gibbs. I don't know. I just don't know. I think it was seven or eight. I'm aged out of this. Well, that was a fun segment.

We'd had intern Clow. Intern Emily. She came on one time and just went through bands that we just never heard of. It was probably more fun for us than it was the listener.

How do you feel about Posty being there, Dylan? I could see Posty being a good little liaison for the aliens. Posty would be great, man. He'd be a good one. Yeah. He's super warm and friendly. He's a good dude.

I mean, he's got the face tats. I might throw him off a little bit. They might think we're all like that, but that's okay. Does it bother you? Not bother you, but do you think about how the UFO... Unidentified Flying Object is what that stands for. The aerial phenomena. The same story kind of comes out in different, like packaged a different way every six months.

And everybody freaks out and you get the same clickbait stories. Oh, dude, Dave, they're unsealing some documents. Yeah, that's why. Because the government keeps announcing that they're going to reveal more information about all this shit. So people get all fired up. The people involved in it. Like, why are they doing this? Why?

It's hard to say, really. Why? Why? Why? Why? You guys got to make slaps. Dude, Cody Brown. Get Cody to do it.

Cody. Weren't you guys just saying that there's no one cool named Cody or something? Wasn't that you? I think I put it a different way. I don't know. I think you were talking smack about Cody's. No, you said no Cody's were smart. I did not say that.

You said that. You said that. I did not say that. You said, is there anyone smart named Cody? And I said yes. I'm going to pull the tape on him. I did not say that. You said that. You said that. I did not say that. You said, is there anyone smart named Cody? And I said yes. I'm going to pull the tape on him. I think that was me. Cody Canada.

He's way past his prime. Dude, he is the originator of them boys from Oklahoma rolling their joints all wrong. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Too damn skinny. And, of course, you're always 17 in your hometown

true if we had to nominate one person from washed media the entire network it's not Brett the entire network you can't nominate

the worst ever do it the entire netty I'm going with I'm going with you're going to say DJ I think I'm going to go with DJ Bean if he plays Vineyard Nights

as they're landing their spaceship it's over for them it's over for them no it's definitely Duda. Do people know that we have other songs within the network that are proprietary to the WASH Media Network? Because Vineyard Nights absolutely slaps. All three versions.

It really straight up slaps. You know I'm a big DJ Bean fan. No one's doing three different versions of the exact same song. Yeah, you don't see that anywhere. Does Duda still have the mullet? I don't know. I feel like we need more photos with this mullet. He did the... he cut it he was mid cut and he did the mullet got the photo and then just cut the rest right that's what happened i hope not we could send pete but like pete from his

jack days you're saying pete's not jacked anymore yeah why did you say that i'm saying he didn't have the arms he had back back when i don't want jacked pete i don't want some big armed freak being up there they're veiny beautiful masculine arms i want somebody who's like trendy with their tiny beautiful i'm right here dude just say you want me to meet them aliens look at these things that's a sexy look at the sheer lack of definition on that arm is sick can you tell i'm flexing right now? No, that's what's great about it. Thank you. Thank you. Did we ever figure out what DJ meant when he was tweeting at us?

No. Yeah, DJ, we're going to need you to explain the Simpsons tweet to us. Is he just hanging? He just tweeted and circling back and no one's responded?

I bet he's sitting back thinking, I bet they don't even know what I'm talking about, which is very accurate. Is he going to delete it? Is he going to delete the tweet? No, he's not the type to do that. he's not i am sending i am sending him my next i think my next up would be probably randy in his roller shoes i think randy would vibe with them he's

he starts making origami like look this is what we do down here and they'd all be like i think uh my guys they're like earth sucks let's get out of here earth stinks baby i don't need this Let's get out of here. Earth stinks, baby. I don't need this bouquet made out of a fucking napkin. Dude, we could bring them Ritz crackers. We have some here in the office. That's our peace offering.

Did you buy those because I named my kid Fritz and you thought that I would just be hounding Ritz crackers? It was a play on those words. That's good. I'm sorry it took me three days to figure that out.

It's okay. Yeah, no worries. That's good. I'm sorry it took me three days to figure that out. It's okay. Yeah. No worries. Let's meet them aliens. We never did. They didn't really actually break into Area 51. That's bullshit. I can't believe that didn't work.

That was a fun couple weeks of Twitter, but we all knew that it was not going to happen. Well, what happened? Didn't something coincide with it so it made it more difficult? I was leaving the country at that point, so I couldn't go storming. Dude, they stormed the Capitol like a year later. People started getting real weird with it. At first, it was a fun thing. Like, oh, let's storm Area 51 and check out the aliens.

It's not that crazy that people would try. They literally— They're talking about kidnapping aliens. If they can get in the Capitol, they can get in Area 51, right? And having sex with the aliens and stuff. It got weird. Yeah. I wasn't trying to have sex with the aliens and stuff. It got weird. Yeah. I wasn't trying to have sex

with the aliens. I was just trying to meet them. Right. Oh, meet them. Oh, David. I'm talking two E's, dude. Come on, man. You're disgusting.

Do we have anything else on these aliens? Randy, are you willing to meet the aliens if we have that? We got a thumbs up from Randy. All I hope is that they what in peace? It's a throwback.

Take me to your meter. That's so stupid. So David and Arby's polo. Double X. I don't have it anymore. I still don't have a better answer than Dave wearing his double X. I don't own it anymore. Does one of y'all have it?

No, we'll just buy a white polo and we'll get it stitched. Am I the only one who made it out of there with Arby's merch? Yeah. Why would you hang on to it? Actually, I think that the shirt that you currently have might be my shirt that I took. It fits me perfectly. And then I gave it to you. Did you keep the curly fry head cover?

See, we definitely all left with that, but that definitely caught the trash can for me. Yeah, it wasn't high quality. It was better in theory than in practice. They did. You know, I guess we shouldn't be surprised. They did show up with about 50 roast beef sandwiches, no sauce, no Arby's sauce, no course sauce, and no curly fries. Not to sound ungrateful, very happy for the meats, but just I needed Arby's sauce.

I don't like eating my dry ass meat from Arby's. I need that Arby's sauce. Arby's sauce is so good that it's just a requirement. It's like going to Chick-fil-A and not getting Chick-fil-A sauce. Didn't you put mayonnaise on yours? No. I'll put mayonnaise on anything. No cap.

I don't really do Arby's. No cap. I'm not capping. The Arby's near my old apartment shut down. Yeah, that was like a historic Arby's. Yeah, I think it's been invaded by homeless people oh well different vibe there oh they haven't made it into anything else no no it's just a broken down arby's now now it's pretty ugly it used to be you used to be able to just do the the trifecta

the austin trifecta whole foods cavendish cavendish arby's just make a day out of it no one's doing those three things get some boots get some granola of it. No one's doing those three things in a day. Get some boots. Get some granola. No one in history has ever done those three things in a day. Granola. Oh, I think I probably have. No. I've never done the Arby's one, but I've definitely done the Central Market.

Central Market. I've done the Central Market, two Cavenders, but I didn't go inside the Cavenders. I went to their sale in the parking lot. No offense. I just feel like Central Market people and Arby's people don't really cross paths too often. They do all the time, though, because they actually share a drive-thru parking lot. It's one of the worst parking lots in Austin. Well, I'm talking literally. No, it's a bad parking lot. It's just awkwardly situated, because you have to exit out on the service road.

I don't want to be on that service road. I feel like service roads don't do much of a service. They make it more difficult. They give me, they give me anxiety. Can we hear from our friends over at Policy Genius already? This is what people have been waiting for.

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Dip shirts. Washmedia.shop. When I dip, you dip, we dip. Hand up on my hip. So I did this. I was overpaying for my old car, and I didn't realize that until I got my new car, and I was like, I think I need to hop on Policy Genius and figure this out. I remember the text that came through.

You were like, hey, what are you guys paying? We told you. You're like, I need to go see Policy Genius. And I'm not going to lie. When I actually did it, my rate came in much, much lower than I even anticipated based on the things that you guys told me. No cap? No cap.

I do not mess with caps right now. This guy's not capping, David. Getting started's easy. First, you go to PolicyGenius.com and answer a few questions about yourself and your property. Then PolicyGenius takes it from there. They'll compare it to rates of America's top insurers from Progressive to Allstate and find your lowest quotes. And the PolicyGenius team can look for ways to save you more,

including bundling your home and auto policies. And if they find a better rate than what you're paying now, they'll even switch you over. For free, baby. I need to check this out because I don't even have auto insurance. Dave, that's reckless. That's reckless. Wow. They're top-notch service, which you should appreciate, Dave, when you go to them.

They've earned Policy Genius a five-star rating across thousands of reviews on Trustpilot and Google. So head over to PolicyGenius.com. Get started now. Policy Genius. When it comes to insurance, it's nice to get it right. You hear about these old people? I don't like that.

Dylan's right there. These geriatric millennials? It's another Dylan joke. Can I gas you up real quick? Sorry. I would love to. I just like your pullover. That's it.

That's all you had to say? I like your pullover. That's all you had to say. Yeah. Actually, to me. All the great things about me that are going on for me right now. It's, I that's it. That's all you had to say to me? I like your pullover. That's all you had to say. Actually, all the great things about me that are going on for me right now. It's, I just noticed it. You're a friend that I am, and you would, my pullover. I just noticed it.

We spent like an hour this morning trying to find gas station sound effects, and all we could find was like. We needed Micah. Micah found the perfect gas station sound effects. More on that Monday, since we have to delay that segment. We hired Micah? the perfect gas station sound effects. More on that Monday since we have to delay that segment. We hired Micah? Hard to say. So this old guy, what's his key to living long?

Whiskey and cocaine? I'm 111 years old from Australia. Is he really from Australia? Marlboro Reds. Australia's oldest ever man has included eating chicken brains among his seekers for living more than 111 years. His name's Dexter Kruger, and on Monday it marked 124 days since he turned 111, a day older than World War I veteran Jack Lockett was when he died in 2002. Dexter Kruger's an alpha name.

But they call him Krugs. Well, thank you. They call him Krugs for sure. D. Krugs? I maintain my alpha by eating chicken brains. How does one acquire chicken brains? Well dude Your old person is struggling

Does he have a farm? He didn't sleep much last night He didn't get his brains Isn't calling someone a bird brain a thing Because they've got tiny ass brains And this guy's just eating all of them up Yo bird brain Come on dude

He said chicken brains You know chickens have a head And in there there's a brain That's a good point. And they're delicious little things. There's only one little bite. How many heads has he taken? I don't know.

His 74-year-old son, Greg. We rock with Greg because Greg rocks with us. He credits his father's simple outback lifestyle for his long life. This guy's literally from the outback. Like the steakhouse? What do you mean? The sound. When you go in the outback, that's what you hear.

Wow, you're right. That's how movies portray the Outback. What's going on there? Why is that what you hear in the Outback? I don't know. I didn't know that so perfectly. I don't know what you're talking about. You don't?

No. It's a movie thing, dog. Yeah, do you not watch movies? You made a great point the other day when it was about to storm in Austin and everything got really yellow. And you were like, this is how they portray Mexico in Narcos and stuff. And I was like, yeah, that's exactly what it looks like outside. That's not a Dylan original thought, though.

That's like a Twitter thing. Oh, whatever. There's Dylan stealing content. Once it comes out publicly, you say that it's not your thought, but you took credit for it within the group text. In Narco movies, when they go to Mexico, all they do is put a yellow tint over the screen. It's dust.

The entirety of Outer Banks is just yellow. Like, I've been to Mexico, and guess what? We were all yellow. Outer Banks isn't Mexico. I know. It's the Carolinas. It's the East Coast. I've been to Mexico, and guess what?

It looks pretty normal there. The colors are the same. Can you actually tell, though? I don't know. You're a colorblind ass. What if this guy's secret was a blooming onion a day? He might be fat. So he has, okay, it's just one bite of meat, the chicken brain.

Everybody knows the rules. That's not an original. I want to know how many he eats in like a month. Every day he's going brain? As a treat, Randy gets duck hearts now. My dog. I don't know why I thought you were talking about our video guy. No, I could see him being into that.

One does a good job. Probably a lot of good amino acids. I've heard those duck hearts do good things for dogs. Yeah, they're like flash frozen or whatever. So it's not like I'm pulling out a slimy heart like the Temple of Doom guy or whatever. Indiana Jones. I don't fucking know. They're not even going to tell us.

He pulls that dude's heart out. They're not even going to tell us how he gets the chicken brains. That's my main concern here. Well, they probably raise chickens, kill the chickens, eat the chickens, and then he's like, you're going to throw that brain away? You mind if I get that brain? So you think he lives on a farm? He could.

I just don't know. Well, it just seems expensive to go through one chicken a day. You got to cut the head off of one and then eat the brain out of it. How do you even get the brain out of there? Do you have to, like, crack everything open? I don't know. You shuck it like an oyster? Like a crawfish?

This guy's disgusting. He's got a nutcracker. Ew. What if he lives next to a factory farm? He just cracks it right open. He has access to all the brains. I have a question only for Dave. Dylan's not allowed to answer this.

Why am I what? If Dylan was 111 years old, what would we credit his longevity to at this point? Oh, man. Sad salads? Bay spaghetti and sad salad. Yeah, it's because I eat spaghetti every day. Answer the question. I was going to say microwaved hot dogs.

I don't eat those, so that's weird. We're not doing the glizzy bit anymore, man. The glizzy bit's fucking over. You asked. I thought that's what you wanted. No, I didn't want that, so that's weird. We're not doing the glizzy bit anymore, man. The glizzy bit's fucking over. You asked. I thought that's what you wanted. No, I didn't want that. People were thinking it. Real creative, David.

They were thinking it. It's supposed to be the funny one, dude. What's your pre-workout zombie blood? I'm not. That would be good for their brand if you did it. I thought they'd have to be in business for a really long time. It's all those years of drinking zombie blood. Okay, base spaghetti is pretty.

It would be a funny one. I was trying. It's all that zombie blood. My warhead pre-workout. Are you still taking that? No, man. It gave me a panic attack. I can't do that.

Not a full-blown panic attack, but it made me feel weird. Mine has real zombie in it, which is wild. I don't think mine had actual warheads, like the actual things from war. Probably not. Might have had some actual candy in it, though. The actual things from war. Should I start taking pre-workout candy in it, though. The actual things from war. Should I start taking free workout before podcasts and just get fired up? No. Why?

You get itchy face, man. Because, dude, you don't want your ears tingling mid-pod when you're trying to do a policy genius read. I can't feel my face when I'm there crying. I walk in the gym doing this, just rubbing the lobes, man, because they just be tingling. Is that a thing? Yes. It's like the niacin or something. I feel like we shouldn't be taking stuff that makes our earlobes itch.

You're exactly right. I was reading the chime disclaimer, and all of a sudden his face gets numb. A glitch out. He's already low on sleep. The guy doesn't sleep. He's got a newborn at home. What's up with these kids, dog? Dude, these kids, man.

They're wild. You're tired. Yeah, what are you doing? You're tired. It's dark outside. Make sure that kid gets a good night's sleep tonight because I think he's meeting me tomorrow. He is. Dude, I'm a little nervous.

You know I met Fritz yet? No. Tomorrow's the day. Couldn't be doing it. Me and Fritz go way back. I'm already tired of seeing him, man. Really? Yeah.

He turned four weeks old yesterday. Did you invite him on the boat? Yeah. Just hand it off. Do I need to be nervous? Tonight's the first night that I'm on solo duty. No, you're fine. If it goes anything like mine, yes, you do.

Last time. You're fine, dude. Dude, it's just scary, dog. No. It's fine. I think we might post up and watch like the Hemingway doc on PBS or something. He's been super into that lately. Don't do that.

You're supposed to let them watch as much TV as they want. Dude, put them on the sticks, man. See if you can play some FIFA or something. Did Parks ever get a kill? Oh, yeah. Remember that one day? We thought he was going to get his first one. We were on Twitch. That's fun. I did read him his first book last night.

Oh, yeah. He told me he hated it. It was called I Love You, Daddy. Oh, Will. Come here, man. It wasn't as emotional. Bring it in. I was kind of hoping i could cry i actually wasn't that emotional i actually just played uh call her daddy for roads really yeah yeah he's a big fan of that he's a daddy gang weren't you putting an air pod and uh alissa's belly button when he was in the womb just letting him listen to call her daddy yeah

this is her old old rogan's the rogan and steve-O pod from like five years ago. Yeah, man. Yeah, dude. I don't know. Why are – I just don't – these old people aren't surviving because they're eating chicken brains. No. It's not like that. It's not that serious. It's just like – it's just something that he happens to do while also living like a healthy life that has allowed him to live to be super healthy. We think it's endearing when old people are like, yeah, I drink a fifth of whiskey a day and smoke a pack of six and I'm living long.

That's classic Edna. That's my key. That's classic Edna over here. Good for her. No. That's unhealthy. It's super unhealthy. Apparently not.

That's unhealthy. It's super unhealthy. Apparently not. If we found out that Dylan was putting chicken brain into every one of his smoothies every day, I would be like, dude, that's really fucked up. I would be like, yeah. Hey, where are you getting all these chicken brains from? He's harvesting the organs.

A little bit of chicken brain. That's good. People are liking my Zach Brown content. Chicken brains. It's not the key, man. Wasn't that not even their song? Do you know rain makes corn? Corn makes whiskey.

Corn makes chicken brain. Whiskey makes my girl a little bit frisky. Really? Just kidding. I wouldn't talk about bae like that. I wouldn't do bae that way. What's bae's secret? She has a... I don't know.

I don't know. What are you whipping up for her? So you talk about bae's spaghetti. What are you making? I've cooked for her exactly one time. And what did you cook bae? I made seared salmon and Brussels sprouts. Okay.

And I overcooked the salmon a little bit. Oh, darn it. I did. Dylan, I'm man enough to admit that the last time I made salmon, I overcooked it. I left it on a half minute too long. I started making a cocktail, and then all of a sudden Sally's like, do you need to check the salmon? And I'll be like, oh, no.

Yeah. So she's apparently texting Tad, and Tad was texting me saying that it was farm-raised salmon? Oh, it was not farm-raised, no. Okay. It was wild. Wild as fuck, actually. Whoa.

It was actual wild. It was wilding out? Yeah. It was a Nick Cannon of salmon? Yeah, it was super wild. Wild as fuck, actually. It was wilding out. It was a Nick Cannon of salmon. It was super wild. That's sick. Fish bones scare me. You have to ask. If you're getting the wild caught at the store, you've got to ask.

You've got to ask. Dude, I hate to ask. Then they get their little tweezers out, start doing their little surgery. It's a good feeling. That's my secret to longevity. Tweezing the fish bones. I'm old. I eat chicken brains.

I fucking hate these old people, dude. It's like, shut up. Come on. Is that because of the chicken brains? It's just not. You got to think genetics play a decent role in that, right? If I'm 111 years old and I'm eating chicken brains to stay alive, just kill me. The whiskey and cigar guy, he's an Austin guy.

You have Will's permission just on the spot. Just put me down. I don't need to be 111 years old eating chicken brains every day. No, I'm out by that point. I storm inside. I'm going to be the same age. I'll be older than you, actually. But anyway, I'm for some reason still alive.

I storm in and you're eating chicken brain. And you're like, what's this about? What's the deal? What are you doing? Like, dude. You're like, oh, chicken brain. I forgot about that. That was like 80 years ago, dog.

That was a funny episode. Meanwhile, you who are two years older. I know. And he's getting all the publicity for being like the old chicken brain guy. I'm just mad because I'm not getting any of the clout. Do you walk into Dexter's house and his arthritic hands are just like peeling chicken skulls back? Like, what's going on? I don't know.

I don't have my chicken brain yet. Don't talk to me before I've had my chicken brain. He's just popping brain like in the morning. Hanging brain, dude? Don't say popping brain. He's popping brain. It's like a little nugget, a little chicken nugget of brain. I can't stand the brain.

It's good. It's good.'s good that's the second it's not bad do we have any puns left that we can do or should we move on i don't i don't know man do you think when do you think when this guy goes to raising canes he orders the brainiac okay when's the last time you went to raising canes you know why i've told the story why i can't go there anymore right why? Why? I don't know. Any Raising Cane's aficionados and fans out there, I'm going to mash the fast-forward button two times. The guy who made the beat for this podcast went there.

That's a fast-forward button. Shouts beat geeks. He got the whatever, the Caniac or whatever it is, and he picked up a chicken strip, and there was a fry came up with it because a hair had been deep fried and so it was holding together the fry and the strip so it was just like it like a little like almost like a puppeteer so he's holding up anywhere i know but it's i can't not think about it when i think about that place. I've said it before. It's not their fault. If it's a long hair, that's not good for me.

It was a deep fried hair too. Yeah, if it's a long hair, that's not good for me. If it's a small hair, there's a good chance that it came from my face. And so I can't get mad about that in food. I'm like, yeah, that's probably mine. It would be bad if I called the store and was like, hey, there's a hair in my food. Fast food you don't call. I've seen you on Twitter.

Right. Fast food, I'm not bringing it back. I'm just taking the L. I'm like, dude, I'm not dealing with that. Okay. Restaurant, hair, I send it back. You send the whole thing back? I can't do it, man. Hair grosses me out. Maybe because I don't have any, right? If you order a steak

and there's a little hair in your potatoes, you send the whole plate back? No, no, right? If you order a steak and there's a little hair in your potatoes, you send the whole plate back? Oh, no, no, no. If it's in the potato, I said that weird. Yeah. Potato. Get on with it. What am I going to do?

Be like, dude, can you take this and bring me a new one? Yeah, I guess you could. They'll take it and then they'll bring you a new one. I think they will just replate the steak and then put you some new potatoes on there. Replate the steak. Some baby new potatoes? You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. You're not going to throw that $50 steak away. No, I don't want to waste the meat. If the meat is hairless, okay. I don't need to replate that. No one's eating hairy meat. Okay. Did you see that Twitter thread not long ago where people were discovering that meat is the muscle of an animal?

And they were, like, so shocked by it. Yeah, what did they think it was? That's what I didn't get. I don't know. I don't know. They're like, wait, what? The chicken is, like, it's the muscle? Yeah.

Remember that time Donald Trump Jr. ate four pounds of meat in one day? Dude, that was crazy. That's so much meat. That's his secret to longevity. He has trash deadlift for him. Dude, that is... You know what? Just don't ever post your videos of deadlifts.

Unless you're like world's strongest man type. Because your form just looks really bad no matter what. That guy's was really bad. Literally everyone's roasting you behind your back. The people that you think are going to be texting you being like, oh, that's sick, dude, congrats. No, they're just making fun of you.

Don't post a picture of your steak, your brisket, your chicken brain, your deadlift form. I'm confident with my steak pigs. I do have to retire from making steak in my apartment as I set off every fire alarm in our complex last time. Probably you're doing too much oil, man. I'm in oil, man. Don're probably doing too much oil, man. I'm in oil, man. Don't talk about too much oil, dude.

I'm just saying, dog. If it gets smoky, it's too much oil. You have too much oil? Just do a little bit. Just coat that pan, dog. Microwave guy's going to tell me I'm using too much oil. Hey. Oh.

Get off my face. Get off my case. Oh, microwave guy. Come on, man. Hold on. Do you guys hear that? Is that a chime? Is that a chime playing? We don't have the sound effect. I don't hear it.

I got a hot take. Your bank account should work with you, not against you. Can you guys agree with that? I've been saying it for years. No cap. Dylan's nodding furiously right now. Chime is an award-winning app and debit card has no hidden fees and no monthly minimums because after all, you earned your money and you deserve to keep it. They've got free overdraft on up to $100

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Early direct deposit depends on the payer. Out-of-network cash withdrawal fees apply. Third-party and cash deposit fees may apply. But go to Chime.com slash Steam for details. These are, well, hold on. Let's do this next story real quick and then I'll make for details. These are, um, well, hold on. Let's do this next story real quick and then I'll make the joke. You want,

okay. Oh, I can't wait for this. Uh, yeah. Our, our girl Gwyneth Paltrow is back in the news. Is it about her,

uh, vagina candles? So we did a story a few months ago about, uh, I think it was a woman in Germany, maybe England or something. And, and the candle was exploding.

You don't want that with a candle because, you know, wax gets hot. Here's the thing. Here's the thing. You could say that Gwyneth Paltrow might be kind of an influencer in the candle market, and luckily for this podcast, you guys are sitting next to a candle influencer as well. Loved her work in Royal Tenenbaums.

It's a good one. It's her best role ever. Yeah. She was a vibe in Talented Mr. Ripley. Ooh, I a good one. It's her best role ever. Yeah. She was a vibe in Talented Mr. Ripley. Ooh, I don't know. I thought she was more of a mood. She did make some good martinis in that movie I saw. Yeah, and that kind of makes me think goals maybe. Yeah, that's true.

You know, Dickie Greenleaf, he has pretty goals. He just took his dad's money and just went to Italy. He really did. Learned how to play saxophone. Pretty swag move there. Dylan loves a sax. This is near and dear to our hearts. Texas.

A Texas resident has sued the company after burning the candle for three hours before it became engulfed in flames. The first time, I was like, this is a one-off. This person's just trying to get their bag. Two times. You can't be exploding your vagina candle twice. Did you say vagina? Vagina.

Vagina. Dude, I didn't sleep last night, Dylan. I styled at home. West Virginia. I still don't understand why there's a candle called this. You know, it's not actually about West Virginia, Dave. Hey. Why is there a candle that's called, this smells like my vagina?

Do you want a serious answer or do you want the joking answer? I want a serious answer. Someone's fucked this candle, right? I don't fucking get it. That's a good point, Dave. Someone's definitely fucked this candle. Is that what happened here? Wow. Someone has made relations with a candle. Yes. So they named the candle this because when

Gwyneth Paltrow was going through the samples for the candles, she jokingly said to the person in there, this smells like my vagina. And then it was, I think it was like a light bulb moment for them and they were like oh my god that's epic oh my god we can tell that it's just super aggressive we can tell that for sure so people buy this and they smell like oh this is what gwyneth petrel's vagina smells like just weird it's just weird i don't know did you buy the candle or not no

i've actually bought this candle i bought it for research purposes for the sunday scary the only candles i buy are sund Scaries, dog. Thank you. Okay. Check it out at the link in Sunday Scaries. Maybe. I don't know where that link is. The link in Sunday Scaries. Our Texas resident, Kobe Watson, is trying to get $5 million. $5 million.

That's a lot of money for an exploding candle. Was he injured and said explosion? I don't know. Did he have a $5 million house that burned a lot of money for an exploding candle. Was he injured and said explosion? I don't know. Like, yeah, did he have a $5 million house that burned down because of this? Was he trying to get— Wax isn't combustible. $5 million is a lot of money. Was he trying to bust?

Wax isn't combustible. I'm trying to bust. I'm trying to cut. What if that's his— I forgot we had that on here. I did, too. I was expecting less than joy. I'm trying to bust.

That's the sound the candle makes when you light it. I'm trying to bust. I'm expecting Leslie Joy. I'm trying to come. That's the sound the candle makes when you light it. I'm trying to boss. I'm trying to boss and I'm trying to come. People thought we were past that but we're not. I was trying to boss

and I'm trying to come though. I feel like she didn't sing the song right. I feel like she kind of ad-libbed a little bit there. We're in the four figures of Sunday Scaries Candles and not one of them

has exploded yet. Wow. Knock on wood. Fake wood. If you get wax hot it just melts and shit. Like, I don't get it. I do respect that this person, this person does know that one of the main things that you should do when you have a scented candle is to burn it for an

extended period of time on its first burn. Are you aware of that? I'm surprised you didn't know that. Big facts, dude. What's the reason for that? Are you capping? Because you have to allow it to burn evenly across the entire surface of the top of the candle. Are you capping? I'm not not capping there's no cap here remember that when you burn

for the first time yeah got him more on that in this weekend in colorado this weekend you just gave away the entire segment i guess we can skip that i have more to say you dumbass hey the joke i was gonna make earlier this is really good i was gonna going to say. Can't wait for this. They used to call Dylan FDIC back in the day. What does that stand for? What does that stand for? I appreciate you doing that far enough away from the ad read that the quality control people won't know. Swag move. It's a veteran play.

They're not listening anymore. I don't know. They might be like, oh, shit. They followed up with that Gwyneth Paltrow segment. Let's go. You guys are on their bullshit today. Yeah, they're on one. This is actually a good Wednesday.

So, dude, you were laughing so hard you just banged your knee. Dang it, Dylan. You know what? Surprisingly good Wednesday episode is what they're saying. Yeah, they're like, wow, this guy brought it. Even though Will hasn't slept and Dylan's... We've had much better ones. Oh, this is good, man.

I'm just kidding, man. I'm enjoying it. I'm enjoying it. You're on fire. I know, dude. Dude, feed me the rock. Just step from the elbow right now. I just just kidding, man. I'm enjoying it. I'm having a good time. You're on fire. I know, dude. Dude, feed me the rock. Just step from the elbow right now. I just bounced it off the table to you.

Is that his spot? I don't know. He'll from wherever, Dave. You know, I've never seen you shoot a jump shot. Yeah, you have. Have I? Yeah. The day I broke my leg, we were at a basketball court. Yeah, but it was double rim. I was hitting J's, dude. Dan chose the double rim outdoor goal to do his half-court challenge.

Dan was like, how many variables can I have for this challenge? The court was also 60% of a regulation court. And there was a giant pile of piss in the middle of the court that we didn't move. It was just not the move. We just played around it. You know what? You could give me two hours to drive around. I couldn't find

where that was i have no idea where that was i know the general area randy found it i know it's in southeast austin that's all i know if you gave me 10 years to find where you live and didn't give me a map and just said find dylan's house i don't know if i could do it you've been there i know but i don't know how i got there. I remember the streets near you. You have a lot of memorably named, does that make sense, streets near you. I love my area. No cap. Okay.

Cool, dude. That's awesome. I guess I'm your neighborhood more, dog. Brett just said he's moving down the street from me. I'll believe it when I see it. Me too. Why doesn't he just live in your extra bedroom? That'd be swag if you guys were roommates.

Well, I might get tired of Brett. Will and I have both lived with bosses. It's a true story. Those are facts. Big facts. Are you capping, though? We've paid the cost to be the boss. Quite definition.

Who's capping even mean? Is that like an actual phrase or is this a geriatric millennial phrase that you're using? No cap? No, but I know no cap is a thing, but is capping a thing? Capping is like when the out-of-touch guy tries to use it in a sentence and sound cool. That's what I'm going for here. You're a hella choogy right now. I'm not doing choogy.

You're mega choogy. I hate that word. I feel like it would add like a two-day run. It's out. You're out on it. It lasted about as long as... What's this stupid app that we all talk to people in? What's it?

That dumbass app that I never downloaded. Shut up, dude. What's it called? I looked it up on Urban Dictionary. Clubhouse. Clubhouse is still on my phone for some reason. What a stupid app that is. It's called Clurb House.

I guess we can use this story as a, we can go ahead and say it. The Dick Saloon's launching a candle. What's it called? Do I want to know what it smells like? Dick. Smells like whiskey. Subtle notes of dick. Whiskey, Marlboro Regenball sweat.

It's called, this candle smells like my dick. This candle smells like Dick Saloon. It's called This Candle Smells Like My Dick. This Candle Smells Like Dick Saloon. It's got a hint of leather, some sandalwood, a little cedar, and some dick. The whole Dick Saloon thing made me revisit a lot of the photos from Halloween this year where you were Sam Chase. Oh, that mustache you had was perfect. You absolutely nailed it. I kind of think you might need to bring it back a little bit. Was it that different?

Oh, I guess it probably just handlebarred a little bit more. It was much longer. Dude, you had a serious handlebar for a minute. I don't like that. In some of those gifs... Keep it like it is now. In some of those gifs... Yeah, I agree.

That Randy puts up... I fucked up his name. What's his name? Randy? No, the dude with the mustache. Sam Elliott? Sam Elliott. I said Sam Chase. That's a band. I fucked up his name. What's his name? Randy? No, the dude with the mustache. Sam Elliott? Sam Elliott. I said Sam Chase.

That's a band. I thought you were saying. You would like them. You would like them, Dylan. You should check out the Sam Chase. Can I expose myself? Yeah. When you said Sam Chase, I thought you were referencing a Sam Elliott character in a movie

that I just didn't know about, so I just went along with it. You played it cool. I did. No, Dylan, I'm not kidding. Sam Chase? The Sam Chase. The Sam Chase. What kind of tunes? That reminds me of that old Sam Chase. The Sam Chase. What kind of tunes?

That reminds me of that old column Duda used to do. What kind of bops they coming at me with? Some good ones. Don't cap with me, dog. They would be described as, let's see what they describe themselves as. It's hard to say. I don't even know if they're still together. Was that Duda or Noam that did I'm engaging in Sam Chase on PGP?

That was Duda. Okay. What was Noam's? You guys cap too much. I forget. That was Duda. Okay. What was Gnome's? You guys cap too much. I forget. It was really good. You can't ask me these memory questions. Sorry, Gnome.

I'm working off like an hour of sleep. I'm sorry. Gnome's punching air right now. It's on vacation. Did you hear my cap too much joke? I just hit y'all. Yeah, I'm sure it sucked, okay? Yeah, it means lie.

Jeez, OP. I'm basing this off of Urban Dictionary. It's called noted user BroPassTheJewel said it's a term used to describe when someone is saying something that is either false, seems false, or is highly opinionated. Yeah. You could have just asked me what it meant. Circling cap. And I would have told you. Big facts.

So what happened to this guy? The candle exploded. Yeah, they're claiming it's a frivolous lawsuit, so it's not going well for the guy that's trying to get $5 million. $5 million. What's the Wilmont's candle going to be called? Hello. Free Rum Floaters.

High Tide? Maybe. I don't hate it. But then you've got to give Tide royalties. Yeah, I can't do that. You know, I don't think we would. I still have no clue who Tide is. I don't think we would have to. I still have no clue who Tide is. I don't think we would have to.

I still have no clue who that man is. I think it's Dave. I promise you. I do not have any burners. Oh, you don't even burner? That's stupid. It's embarrassing. Is it time for This Weekend in Fun presented by Busy Heart Seltzer?

I'm still talking candles. Yeah. God, let's talk about Busy right quick. Busy, busy, busy. Can't you see? Not to pull back the curtain too much, but we got a massive shipment. Bag alert. Major bag alert.

Viz alert. Major Viz alert. Vizzy gang. Do people know that we have a Vizzy fridge? I got so excited when I saw that it was filled with actual Vizzys. Yeah, thanks to me. I'm going to steal some out to me. I'm going to steal some out of this.

I'm going to steal some out of this and put it in my fridge at home. Thanks for the two minutes you spent putting Vizzys in the fridge. That's really big of you, this fucking guy. Wasn't even me, it was Randy.

Got him. I'm trying to scale back my beer consumption this summer, which means that my Vizzy consumption is going to absolutely skyrocket. You're not capping, right? No cap. No cap.

And the reason I do that is because the option with something extra always makes my choice easier. And most beers that I drink, they don't have any acerola or superfruits in them. Acerola is a superfruit. Superfruit. God, dude, just stop. It's superfruity. People aren't even listening because of that. It's superfruity, David.

I haven't tried the lemonade hard seltzers yet because my address was incorrect, and therefore they were sent to my old apartment. Welcome to the old apartment. You don't know what you're missing. This is where the lemons live. So did somebody get those? Probably Micah. Hey, man.

I'd like to think that he did. Me too. They're awesome, so you're missing out. So here's what I'm going to do. Here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to take one of each and I'm going to drink one of each this weekend. And I'm going to report back with my rankings of them. My early rankings have, for me, I think peach number one, strawberry number two,

raspberry number three, watermelon number four. And I think that those are all very close. It's kind of like a 1A through 1D situation. We should do a whole thing. We'll rank seltzers. That's good. So I've only tried two of the lemonade ones. Okay.

But for my money, I don't know what's going to top the watermelon lemonade. Watermelon lemonade. And look, look at my face. I am absolutely not capping right now. That's big of you to not cap. Dude, I'm going to enjoy so many of these this summer. They're going to be calling me the Brian Seltzer Orchestra. Really?

Yeah, Brian Seltzer. That's good. That's tight, dude. It's a reference that no one understands except for Will. That's real sick. Man. This fucking guy. Only one person's liked DJ Bean's tweet. We don't even know what it means. I want Soul Valley to get it. I don't want to respond

and get it wrong. There's just a lot working against this tweet. The cool thing about DJ, he's going to listen to this episode. He's going to get back to us in about four hours. Everyone please go like Deej's tweet even though we don't know what he's talking about. At Deej underscore Bean on Twitter. Maybe even throw a reply to imply that you understand what he's talking about. Hey, go ahead and drop his Instagram handle too.

D-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-J. Swag. Is that right? That might be right. It's about right. So like we said, with Vizzy, you can enjoy a refreshment now with antioxidant and vitamin C. Upgrade your hard seltzer to Vizzy. Find out where you can purchase Vizzy by going to VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed.

That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed. Must be 21 or older. And if you're drinking Vizzys this weekend, tag that MFN account. Please do. 21 and older. Let them know that you're part of Vizzy Gang. Dylan, what are you doing this weekend? Oh, wow.

Thank you for asking. You already did this. I'm sorry? Oh, yeah. You're going to Colorado. Dave, what are you doing this weekend? So Saturday I will be getting on a plane and heading to Telluride, Colorado with Bay and some of Bay's new friends.

Or some of my new friends. Her friend friends. And I'm really excited. We're going to do some hiking. I went and bought some hiking shoes yesterday. I've never done that before in my life. So that'll be fun. What kind of hiking shoes? Did you buy 992s? No, they're the Solomon brand. Which I just know because of skiing.

Dude, no laying ups doing everything these days. No, not lay-ups doing everything these days. No, not solid. I'm going hiking. I'm playing golf all the time. How high are your – I don't know. How high rise are your hiking boots?

Do they go above the ankle? They're low. They're called hiking shoes. I'm surprised you didn't get the mids. They're like trail shoes. My shoes. My hiking shoes. They're not like Mount Everest boots.

You know what I'm saying? They're not those kind. Mount Everest boots. That would be impressive if you showed up to hike on a little mountain and tell your ride and you had Mount Everest boots on. I don't think it's going to be a little mountain, though, dog. There's some skiing there. Do you have to hire a Sherpa to get you up to the hike? No, we're just going with my new friends.

Tad? Is Tad going to be there? I don't know Tad, so I can't. He is not going to be there. He told me he can't. He's joining Barton Creek. I'm excited to get to know some. These are some new friends I haven't even met yet, so that'll be fun.

Oh, wow. I know one of the couples. How are you going to explain when they ask what you do? What are you going to say? Yeah, let's do a test run right now. So how do you make money? Hypothetical. Me and Will are the two hypotheticals.

I've been delivering this elevator pitch since I started dating Bae because I've been meeting a lot of new people. Hey, man, great to meet you, man. You're a real handsome guy. What do you do for a living? This is what I say. No one's introducing you. Hey, dude, you're a handsome guy. You're fucking hot, man.

I say with two other guys, I run a very, very, very small media company. Wow. Why do you emphasize very? You could just say small. I like to downplay it. I say it's basically a network of podcasts. Thanks for downplaying our achievements. Yeah, okay.

Will and I are here on Friday with Randy just grinding our little dicks off, and you're out there like, Will, it's very, very, very small. It is very small. Emphasis on very. Is it not very small? Look at this. Look at these turds in here. What's your problem, dude? People like Randy.

Yeah, what's your problem? I'm really excited about this trip, though, man. It'll be fun. Sounds great. You're kind of a hater, dude. Might hit the dispensary. Just kidding. I won't hit the dispensary.

Why? You're in Colorado, dude. I'm going to. I'm going to. No one cares. The stigma's not there. Why? You're in Colorado, dude. I'm going to. I'm going to. No one cares. The stigma's not there. It's literally legal in most states. We're going to get some dinners off and check out the mountains.

I'm going to buy a t-shirt. I'll tell you right on it. Are you going to get your signature shot glass that you get on every vacation? Buy a magnet, not a shot glass. No, dude, you're a big shot glass guy. Will you buy me something from the airport? Airport? How come every time I travel, I bring y'all gifts and y'all don't do shit for me?

Because I don't go anywhere. And I got Will a shirt that he's never worn. I have worn it. Yeah, but that was like you're doing a bit. I cut the sleeves off. You wore it at once as a bit. I cut the sleeves off of it so people could see my perfect arm. You never worn the shirt and Dave hasn't used the whatever I got him.

What did I get you? The rub? Yeah, the rub. I used the rub, the espresso rub. Was it dope? It was good. I'm saving the rest of it for a brisket. Fuck yes.

Or a pork shoulder. Thank you for at least using the gift that I brought you. Yeah. I just don't like to talk about it when I use people's gifts. You guys never do anything for me. Is it jifs or gifts? It's definitely gifts. Pronounce jifs.

It's not. It's just not. Anyway, are y'all going to rent a Kia Telluride? I already made that joke off air, dude. Yeah, well, I brought it to the air. I'm going to request it for sure. Cool. What if everyone in that town drives a Telluride?

You should just make that joke every time you see one on the road. Reach over and tap your new friend. Hey, we're in Telluride. There's a Telluride. No, play the game where you punch somebody when they see a slug bug. Slug bug. Oh, that's a good idea. Just start punching your new friends. Yeah, we're in Telluride. This is Telluride. No, play the game where you punch somebody when they see a slug bug. Slug bug bug. That's a good idea. Just start punching your new friends.

I'll punch Bay. Your friends are like walking around dead arms the entire time. What are you doing? Dude, what's your boyfriend's problem? Dude, there's nothing worse than just getting an unexpected slug in the shoulder. This slug bug was tight. Dude, a bruised shoulder. You're like, that's going to be there for like three days.

How hard are you hitting people in slug bug? What's your problem? My friends were bigger than me. I bruise easily. You know that. I bruise. What are you doing this weekend, Dave? Big sports.

We got Mavs Clippers. Game one. We got NBA playoffs. You know me. I just freaking love sports, man. I just love it. Dude, you're the sports guy. Don't they call you the sports guy?

Yeah. Trademark. Trademarked. PGA Championship. Let's go. Is it the championship game of the sports guy? Trademark. PGA Championship. Let's go. It's the championship game of the PGA. That's how that works. Four-day championship game.

That's tight. And I got a little tea time Sunday morning. Sunday morning, tea time's made. I was doing Maroon 5. I thought you were doing Sugar Ray for a second. Who do you got in the PGA Championship? You're going to have to tune in to Too Much Dip to find out. No, I honestly...

Don't you guys not record until it's over now? I'm a little confused as to how I can tune in. We made picks Monday. Oh, I'm sorry. I haven't listened to you. I think I picked the guy with the best odds, and then my backup was the guy with the second best odds. I like that. That's a good dude. Odds on? Rory and JT I think were my picks.

I'm going to go with Rory. I might sprinkle a little bit on Tony Finau. Rory and JT, I think, were my picks. I'm going to go with Rorys. I might sprinkle a little bit on Tony Fina. Rory doesn't win majors. Sprinkle. No, but, yeah, I don't know, man. Rory, he's traditionally got the tough first day of the majors. It's not great for your boy. Bag alert.

Rory's got that dad dick now. True. So he can attack a course like Kiowa. That's what it takes. It what it'd be the longest course they've ever played probably are you going to kiowa dude why did why did ron do so dirty i don't know why did that was so unnecessary just a body bag like you're doing doing the the fuzzy guy meme he was trying to like point out how long and tough it's gonna be and he's like yeah i mean we were playing a practice round i was playing with zach Zach Johnson. And I was hitting five iron into a lot of these greens,

and Zach's like hitting three wood. Yeah, he's pulling covers off his fairway. Yeah, we get it, man. He's not a longer player. Yeah, that's no catch. You know what else we have this weekend in the Sprouts? Chelsea. Oh, we got F1.

We got F1. Monaco. We got playoff hockey, too. Monaco Oh, we've got to have one. We've got to have one. Monaco. We've got to play up hockey, too. Monaco weekend, baby. Let's go. Did you see the picture of all the yachts just anchored out there off Monaco? It was pretty tight for this week. The Monaco GP practice is tomorrow, not on Friday, Dylan.

Just putting that out there for all the people out there trying to watch. You're not capping, right? Tomorrow. Not capping? No cap. Can I admit something? I've never actually watched the qualifying. I've only watched the actual races. So when will I tune in?

Qualifying will be Saturday. You've got to watch the qualifying, Dave. I don't watch the practices, but qualifying is worth your watch. And it's quick, too. You can usually get the qualifying done in about an hour. Less than an hour. It's kind of wild, Dave. It's kind of wild. It's not the best track if you're looking for passes and stuff, so qualifying is actually much more meaningful.

Qualifying is big, big time. Are they going to let them mash that TRS button? TRS or DRS? I believe it's D, as it always is. Okay. Do you guys even care what I'm doing this weekend? No. I thought you already did this.

You want to close it out? Yeah, I got a big weekend ahead of me. I'm flying out early. Can I get a ride to the airport from somebody on Friday? Sure. My flight's at 7, so if you want to pick me up around 545, that'd be perfect. I'll do it, but you have to buy me breakfast tacos. Are you going to make our 930 meeting on Friday?

I don't think I'm going to make the 930 meeting on Friday, unfortunately. Okay. Don't worry. We'll have Randy fill in for you. Perfect. He's my proxy. I appreciate that. Just take notes.

So, yeah, I'm going to Chicago. Chicago. Chicago. Why have you not been more vocal about this? Because I'm literally going to fly into Chicago, Uber to a suburb, go attend a wedding, sleep, and then return back to Austin the very next morning. Hey, if you have time, there's a really good pizza joint there called Papa John's. I've heard that.

I highly recommend. I'm thinking about going and eating the pizza version of lasagna at whatever it's called. Lou Malnati's? You gotta put your order in like two hours in advance. We were at that restaurant for a long time. If you want to be super underwhelmed, that's mean. There's another

place that apparently is better than Lou Malnati's that people say we need to go to. Or one guy. Papa John's? Do they serve like Detroit style pizza? No, they've gone downhill ever since they got rid of Papa. It is the best pizza, per Gawker, per the last thing that Gawker published.

True. That article tanked Gawker. Dude, how did he... And then your boy, his parents are coming to town. Going to meet the little guy. Saturday. How cute. That'll be fun. Yeah. And then your boy, his parents are coming to town. Going to meet the little guy Saturday. How cute.

That'll be fun. Yeah. I can't wait to drive home hungover from the airport on Saturday and then drive back to the airport on Saturday to pick my parents up. Well, you're really doing a one getting in, getting out the next day. I'm doing 24 hours. I'm doing 24 hours only, dog. Wow. It's tough, but I'm dedicated to the game.

I got a kid at home. I can't just be going off for days on end. That's what I did at your wedding. Yeah, dog. Shit. Oh, man. We got a special guest in the building. The game.

Brett Mary, man. The magic bullet. How's it going, guys? Breaking news with Brett. Oh, I don't know. We just crushed an episode. So how do you think we're doing? I thought we were done, honestly.

I'll just say we're running pretty long. We don't have to do this. We're long. We're strong. We're trying to get the content on. Is it tight? It sounds like Will's just getting started. Will's cut the second wind.

That MCT coffee be hitting different second half of the episode. God, you're doing so much in the last minute. Damn. Cut the last minute, Will. Just the camera on Will. Unfortunately, Will, I don't want to bring you down here, but I have Michigan environmental worries on the breaking news trust me i have plenty of those man i got plenty of those we'll start there we'll start there will it's uh it's

tick season in michigan that really ticks me off tick tock you don't stop i always say that what we got to cut this off warm weather is is returning to Michigan. This looks like tick. I can't miss. And the black-legged tick, in particular, having a comeback year for the ages. It's comeback season. It's comeback season. I'm not a big fan of ticks. No. Everyone knows that about me. I'm anti-tick.

Apparently, northern Michigan is like the mecca for ticks. Catch Brad Paisley up there, right? Mecca tough scene. Man. All right. Anyway. This is a ridiculous podcast. Keep an eye out if you're in Michigan or a tough scene. Man. All right. This is a ridiculous podcast. Keep an eye out if you're in Michigan or northern Michigan or southern Michigan area.

South of Detroit. Pretty much just anywhere in Michigan. Yeah. The map doesn't look good this year, Dave. Dude, if you're in the murder mitten, just watch out for ticks. I thought he said Michigan and I was close. The murder mitten? That's what they called it.

That's kind of tight. Dylan, you're a big cult classic fan, right? I get my ticks up in the mitten. Yeah. There's no cap there. According to the Dan Patrick Show, Wedding Crashers 2, after the divorce, That's kind of tight. Dylan, you're a big cult classic fan, right? I get my kicks up in the mid-in. Yeah, there's no cap there. According to the Dan Patrick Show, Wedding Crashers 2, after the divorce, is officially in the works. Let's go!

Yeah. It's been rumored for a minute, but like official official. Like, we're good. Is Rachel McAdams going to be in it? I hope so. Wow. You know I love her. I didn't realize that was kind of like before her big break.

No way they'd get Bradley Cooper. No, it wasn't. Right? I think so, right? Dude, she big break. No way they'd get Bradley Cooper. No, it wasn't. Right? I think so, right? Dude, she was in the notebook. Sac's not coming back. No, you've got to get Sac. Sacman's not coming back. She was in the notebook and Mean Girls.

No, my timeline doesn't work like that. I was like nine. So I don't know. Those were both before Wedding Crashers. Not enough people talk about it. Speaking of Bradley Cooper, connected to Wedding Crashers, of course, he was Sac. Not enough people talk about it in, What's the movie? The Chris Kyle? American Sniper?

The baby scene. Which one was first? Why are you guys having a side convo? Dave's trying to spit facts right now. No, no, no. It's not that important, but just the fake baby in American Sniper. It's just... Every time I remember it, I have to just... That's why I haven't seen the movie. It's an unbelievable oversight.

You want them to use a real baby? Maybe just conceal the baby so it's not obviously fake. They're capping right in our face, Dylan. Ew. I will be seeing Wedding Crashers 2 in theaters. Absolutely. Wow. I'll be the guy wrestling a bunch of

Sour Patch kids in the corner. I just want Top Gun to come out, man. Will, you lock it up. Yeah. You lock it up. Wow.

Rule number 76, play like, no excuse, play like a champion. Epic. You know who probably quotes that a lot is your brother-in-law.

Drew probably does. Drew's a big Wedding Crashers fan. Dude, Drew's like, he's going to be in the sequel of Wedding Crashers somehow. He would be a good character. He'd be a sax friend, obviously.. Dude, Drew's like, he's going to be in the sequel of Wedding Crashers somehow. He would be a good character. He'd be a sax friend

obviously. He's just sax. Yeah, he's just sax. He would be sax. Perfect. He's my sax. That's definitely before Bradley Cooper's

prime though, right? Yeah. Before his prime. That was his first big one I think. Sax won't be making an appearance. Well, he was in

Failure to Launch as like the zany animal dude. It was weird. Dylan's probably not seen Failure to Launch because he's got trash taste in movies. Okay. Looking forward to that. Dave.

Hey. You're familiar with the chicken sandwich wars, aren't you? Chicken brains. This is different. This is different. We only eat chicken brain sandwiches. A little bit of chicken fried. Well, Burger King has entered the ring.

Oh, man, we were waiting. We've all been waiting. I've been champing at the bit. Entered the ring with the chicken. King. Randy, if you has entered the ring. Oh, man, we were waiting. We've all been waiting. I've been champing at the bit. Entered the ring with the chicken. Randy, if you would help me out. Ooh. That's a lot of batter.

A lot of batter there. Batter up. This looks, on the surface, this looks like the best one of the bunch. No. I'm going to say that. No, no, no, no, no. Have you ever had Burger King chicken tenders? It's old and battered. It really does look like that.

Time out. These pickles are too thick. Time out. Brett asked a very specific question. Go ahead and answer. Have you ever had the Burger King chicken tenders at the Denver Airport terminal? Who hasn't?

Yeah, dude, for sure. I know one listener. Dylan's going to do that. Dylan, will you actually do a taste test? Yeah, I will. Thank you. They're bomb. They're bomb.

Their buffalo sauce hits different. I will try this. Yeah, this looks good. They don't bread it with anything but hands. Yeah, it's just all hand in there. I don't know if that makes it better for me at this point. I kind of wish they just threw it in a thing and then just tossed it around. Yeah, I don't need your hands on my chicken.

That's how Wingstop does it. Keep your hands off my chicken. Wingstop tosses them around. Wingstop's good. You like to toss it, don't you? You like football. I feel like $4.99 is a lot for a chicken sandwich. It's not funny, man. No. No? That's normal? $4.99 is a lot for a chicken sandwich. It's not funny, man.

No. No? That's normal? $4.99? How much is a Popeye's? The batter to chicken ratio on here might be a problem. That's all I'm saying. You don't like a little saucy batter?

If this is the best photo that they have of this, that concerns me. That concerns me. No, obviously I like some of the batter, but I don't like when multiple bites are just batter. You need to lower the saturation on these. What are they doing? One thing I don't like that they're doing this is that they have the pickles on top of the chicken and not underneath it like they do at Popeye's. I like them on top.

When is this coming out? Cap? I'm not capping. This is beginning to test. Oh, excuse me. It has been testing. Really? And now they're going national with it.

You think it's going to pass? I don't know. I'd wonder lick this sandwich. Will, you want a stat of the week? Stat, stat, stat of the week. Between January 2019 and December 2020, online spending on chicken sandwiches across all restaurants combined grew by a staggering 420%.

Oh, very cool. New segment alert. Brett's stat of the week. Brett's stat boy of the week. They join the war of the chicken sandwiches, including Taco Bell, KFC, Wendy's, Burger King, Chick-fil-A, Arby's, Jimmy John's, McDonald's, Smash Burger, and Shake Shack. I feel like the term war here might just be a little overused in the term war for this. Yeah, I think so.

Wins above replacement speaking of war uh the israel never mind oh man we don't need to go into that breaking news come on that's it we're not the podcast for that wait was that that was only two stories that was three uh you must have missed the michigan environmental news you missed the uh cult classic uh oh yeahding Crashers 2 after the divorce. I didn't get asleep last night. I don't like that title. It feels like the... It feels just...

Who got divorced? You've got to think one of the two main couples that ended up after the first one. This means that Rachel McAdams is not in it for more than like five minutes because this means that

Owen Wilson got divorced from her. Ooh. You don't know that. Cap. She's not exactly like crushing it these days, but she would happily take the role. Whoa, Dylan. know that. Cap. She's not exactly like crushing it these days, but she would happily take the role.

Whoa, Dylan, I hear some takes. She was in that weird Will Ferrell movie that was on Netflix. She was a true detective, dude. Like, get off her. I love her.

I mean, they are. Why don't you marry her? Dude, she did Mean Girls after that. Uh-huh. They're both divorce... Both of them? Mediators, Dave?

Am I right there? Divorce mediators? Is it their profession? Sure. So you got a meat eater. Do you think Dwight Yoakam will be in this one, too? Dude, Dwight was so epic in The Office. Do you think Will Ferrell would be in this one?

Shut your mouth when you're talking to me. Bears, Beats, Panels, and Argonautica. Epic. Stop, dude. I could see them doing a Will Ferrell spinoff with just his character and it just being terrible. Chaz? Yeah. His character was perfect just because of the limited it just being terrible. Chaz. Yeah.

His character was perfect just because of the limited exposure to him. Change of playback. Yeah. Comes in on third down. Gets you that two yards you need. Too much dip podcast. You play too much, David. Call him Marion Barber. Oh, wow.

Marion the Barbarian? Had a great two-year run and then. And then sucked. Well, because his running style wasn't built for longevity. Violent runner. Just running into everything. That's what I call him. Three sticks mafia?

What? Isn't he the third? Isn't Marion Barber the third? Uh-huh. Is that what Fritz is in? That was before. WD-3? Fritz is in a gang?

You get him involved early, right? Daddy gang. He's in the daddy gang. We don't talk about that. Him and Rhodes have been listening to Call Our Daddy. Did he get jumped in? Are we going to sign them? He can't jump, dude.

His legs barely work. Somebody listening in their car right now. That just went all over the map in about 17 seconds. How old is Fritz? Four weeks and one day. Dude, just wait. He's 29 days old. Oh, he's a month old?

Hey, man. Just wait. No, it's not a month. We have to wait until the 20th. That makes sense. Tomorrow. Dave's kid's like 72 hours older. Dude, just wait.

He's older than that. A little bit. Dave and I didn't have our kids three days apart. Dave's kid is just as old as me and Bae's relationship. Isn't that kind of crazy? Stop bringing everything back to Bae. Yeah, dude. Did you do a Baileys thing again?

No, we didn't talk Bay Leafs. Somehow I did not bring up Bay Leafs until this. No one's listening anymore. Where on the streets did I get exposed for some Bay Leaf takes on the timeline? Yeah, well, you didn't. I got your back on this one. They're sneaky not because they're good. They're sneaky because all of a sudden you're eating chicken noodle soup and you're like,

why do I have a stick in my mouth? Some people are saying that you sneaky left out a word on accident. Who put lawn clippings in my spaghetti? That's me. Oh, my God. Oh. Why is that Bayleaf in here? I think we should call this.

Bayleafs versus basil. What do you want to call it? Daddy. We need more no sleep Will on the pod. This is bad. It took him an hour to wake up, but once he did, he was fine. You did the ad reads good, though. You crushed the disclaimer.

We did the ad reads good, though. Probably some words left out a couple of those ad reads. We were all watching that disclaimer like, oh, Will's going to fuck this up. Hey, can I break some more news? Sure. As long as it's the last one before we get out of here. Yeah, let's do it. Brooks Koepka doesn't feel 100% ahead of the end of the weekend, but don't care.

Quote, I can deal with the pain. Sick, dude. He's sick. If he misses the cut, I will not be upset. Missed the cut at the Nelson, just saying. Whatever, man. I'm trying to boss. I'm trying to cut. I will not be upset. Miss the cut at the Nelson, just saying. Whatever, man. I'm trying to bust, I'm trying to cut. I'm trying to bust, I'm trying to cut.

Just end it. Bye.