Circling Back - Alpha Male Black Coffee & Birthday Dinners

Episode Date: November 17, 2021

Recapping our egregious misses from the viral Geography Bee video, whether or not putting creamer in your coffee lessens your status as an alpha male, the worst birthday dinner take, canceling blondes, Wyclef Jean mobbing with the CEO of Range Rover, and This Weekend in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (13:20) Geography Bee Regrets (19:10) Fellas, Are You Too Manly For Dairy In Your Coffee? (30:40) All-Time Bad Birthday Take on Twitter (40:20) Why are we canceling genetics now? (50:43) Wyclef Jean Flips Range Rover CEO on Head (1:07:01) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (STEAM for 20% off) Everlane: www.everlane.com/steam (10% off first order + free shipping) Zilker Belts: www.zilkerbelts.com (BACKER for 20% off in November) PolicyGenius: www.policygenius.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back. Circle and Back podcast presented by Roback, where you can get 20% off your first order using code BACKER20. My name's Will DeFreeze to my left. David Ruff. What's up? Original D-Man tapping in real quick. Thanks for having me on.

Okay, Will. What the f- Dude liked that. Instagram saw it first. Did you guys see the deep fake technology that was on display on our Twitter feed? Yeah. It looked real. It was a little too real. Were you in the eight mile?

That was me. It took me a second to figure out if that was supposed to be me or you. But it was me. I was B-Rabbit. I briefly thought the same thing. Very briefly. Deep fakes creep me out. Yeah.

You know what? They should be banned. It's a slippery slope. It is. Slippery slope. Remember that Tom Cruise one? Yeah. No, dude.

It's still going on. Let me say this. They have no place in baseball. Dude. Right. Deep fakes. Right. You want to intro me?

Yeah, don't show me. Hang on. When did you get the LD? You want to do me a favor? Will you pick up your phone and dial 911, because there's about to be a murder. Are they back? Where did you get that?

Is that in the stew? Did Dave buy that from HEB during his last snack run? House, you stupid, silly bitch. Do you now have a China cabinet full of liquid death instead of muscle milk? China cabinet. China cabinet. Wow, it still hits.

Wow, your thirst is clearly still alive and well, while mine is dead. There's a concept called no free ads. We don't really subscribe to it. I'm the original D-man. You're not. You're just not. It's funny because we are now on a big email thread with my old high school buddies, and they refer to me as D-Man a lot of the time.

I know. That's why I said it. Wanted to really throw a wrench into the game here. An interesting power struggle might... It's your bachelor party. If you want people to call you D-Man, I'll allow it. Yeah. All-time high excitement level for that bachelor party, by the way.

All-time.tt just came in here asking if we wanted to take a pj he did i don't know was he serious what is he doing right now does he think this is uh you know roy star whatever it's called i mean we don't have pj money play star royco cool yeah thank you yeah it wouldn't be circling back if we weren't getting minor details wrong about i just didn't want you to get criticized. No, that's okay. We could all wear our logo-less black hats. Kind of a dope look, honestly.

I'll see this Twitter heater I'm on right now. A lot of people have been talking about it. I saw where a lot of people are giving credit to somebody who's been responding to your tweets. No, I think the person who's been responding to my tweets gave that person credit. A little self-gratification there, which was unwarranted. Who are we talking about? What? Dude, nice jersey.

Fucking idiot. I'm a fucking star boy. Uh-huh. Yeah, Red Wings lost to the Dallas Stars last night, and as someone who doesn't welch on bets, I decided to make good on this one and wear this Stars jersey throughout the entire pod.

Yeah, you can learn from him. Yeah. If you guys ever want to learn from me, I don't welch on bets. I always fulfill my duties and obligations, and that's what I'm doing right now. He tried to not wear it. No.

You didn't bring it up today? My immediate reaction to you saying put the jersey on was, oh, shit, yeah, where's that jersey? Where's that jersey? the jersey on was, oh, shit, yeah, where's that jersey? Where's that jersey? No, it was more like, oh, yeah, where's that jersey? By the way, I texted a special invitee of the bachelor party a minute ago. David Blaine? No.

Chris Angel? The response I got was, fuck yeah. These were in three separate texts. Fuck yeah. Let me check with wife. Should be good. Look, if there's one thing about this particular gentleman, he's going to be fine. Okay.

The thought of us taking a PJ, if we rented one, what we would end up renting is like a prop plane. We don't have like G5 money. No, we're not P. Diddy. This isn't ESPN. We're just not. You know. This isn't ESPN. We're just not. You know? Nor is it ESPN.

The original D-man. Okay, I've officially tweeted David Blaine asking if he wants to join us, all expenses paid in Vegas for your bachelor party. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. All expenses? Yeah. Can he just fly there himself? That's why I'm offering all expenses paid.

He's going to be so cheap. He can just create food out of his mouth and then eat it. He's going to create a wrinkle in time in the time-space continuum and just walk through it into Vegas. Either that or he'll just balloon in. How sick would it be if we had

a suite at Bellagio or something and we're just sitting there absolutely hammered late night, and David Blaine's just making frogs come out of people's mouths. He comes in through the window? Dude, it would be so... We just look out, and we're looking at the strip, and then suddenly David Blaine just emerges in front of the window.

He's just floating there. He goes through the window without anything happening. What? What? I'm going to disappear with him down at the card table, and he's going to try to teach me how to count cards, and I'm going to be the one who gets busted, and then they're going to smash my head in a vice.

That dude sits down at a blackjack table. You can't let him sit there, right? Oh, dude. No, he's definitely banned from all Vegas casinos, right? Like, there's no way he can actually go in. They didn't even, like, he didn't even do anything. They just were like, no, here's some pictures of David Blaine. Put him in the facial recognition thing.

He's not allowed. We know who you are. You can't do this. He should put on the, I think you should leave old man suit and then go in and sit down at a table. Carl Havoc? Yeah, Carl Havoc. Too much fucking shit on me. Are we going to do like Ocean's 11 bits the entire time?

We can't have 12 dudes on this bachelor party. We need exactly 11. I'm Brad Pitt. We can kick somebody off. Everyone has me as Brad Pitt. Well, the email, the initial email, I'm not going to say who sent it out, came in hot with a swingers subject line

and a Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross quote. We're douchebags. We are. This is going to be. We're douches. We're having fun. I'm going to be quoting movies the entire time. Y'all have seen The Hangover, right?

Mm-hmm. Okay. We're not roofing each other on this bachelor party. Just be crystal clear. I will not be drinking any drinks provided by you guys. This might be your time to fight a big cat. Are we going to a show? Siegfried and Roy?

Dude, let's go to a show. I don't know if they're doing that anymore. Yeah, because the big cat ate one of them. Correct. Ate them whole. I can't know if they're doing that anymore. Yeah, because the big cat ate one of them. Correct. Ate them whole. I can't believe the Siberian tiger. Yeah, bit into something. It was alive.

I saw a video today on Instagram somebody sent me. It's a guy taunting a lion that's in a zoo, and it's like an old lion. He looks grizzled like he's seen some shit. Sticks his hand in there. The lion is so quick, just gets it. Just gets it. He smashed it? I don't know if he got the hand off of it,

but he had it in his mouth for a good 20 seconds. Oh, my gosh. Yeah. You don't. That's how I started my morning. Never taught a lion, man. That's 15 yards. Don't stick your hand in the lion cage.

Are you a live leak this morning? No. My high school group text finds weird shit. He's a new live leak guy. What are we doing? Dude, how about this fourth? They call me Blake LiveLeak guy What are we doing? They call me Blake LiveLeak How about this fourth grader who just Is not ready for the pros right now Dude, what a shit arm that kid has

Terrible motion I'm not impressed with this video He's got good footwork I'm sorry, but you could cut a clip of any fourth grader Doing something like that and make it look good for SportsCenter He brings the ball back like Garrett Gilbert, and that is not a compliment. He's got time to fix his mechanics. Why is ESPN even putting out videos of fourth graders throwing rocks?

I don't know. We don't need that. Give me actual news. Give me actual scoops. Whenever we can hear from this kid again. Ooh. You know he's already got offers from Florida State, Miami, USF. Those are strong programs.

I made all three of those up. I don't think he has any offers. He's in fourth grade. That kid sucks. Man, that's really rude. Show me him on the field and not in a practice range that's 20 yards long. Let me see him drop one over. He's in a training center.

Drop one over another fourth-grade shooter from 40 yards out. Let's see that. Yeah, crazy enough that when I was in fourth grade, I could also do a shuttle run. I will make this promise. I can hit receivers that are not being covered. He will have a more prolific high school sports career than you did. I was first-team all-district, David. This kid's going to be all-state.

I was first-team all- all district in a pretty average district. Also in baseball. What are you trying to say? What are you trying to say? What do you mean? What do you mean? I don't get it. It's baseball.

Okay. Dylan, I hate to circle back on this, but do you think that we can reach out to your friend of a friend who knows David Blaine? Like, is that in play? I have her number. I mean, yes, I can reach out to your friend of a friend who knows David Blaine? Is that in play? I have her number. Yes, I can reach out to her, but what should I say? It feels like it's not in play. Just say, what are the chances we can get David Blaine on this bachelor party? Okay.

I could see him having a residence in Vegas. By a residence, I don't mean a running show. I could see him living in Vegas part-time. If you're doing street magic, you've got to think the Strip's a hot spot for that. Who is doing the running show in Vegas right now? Or will be? Like George Strait for a time was doing. Britney, all that.

I think there are a bunch of them. I would go to one if it was a noted artist. You want to go see Carrot Top? I'll go see Celine Dion. What about Carrot Top? Dude, he lives in Arizona now. We're good. Dude, they Arizona now. We're good. Dude, they're neighbors.

We're good. He's coming. Is he really? Is that where the Grand Canyon is? Uh-huh. More on that in a second. I'm so excited for this trip, man. I wish we wouldn't have to wait so many months for it.

Shut up. I don't want to wait for this life to end. Let's get some programming notes out of the way. If you haven't already watched our geography videos, it's up on YouTube now. Go check that out. We're about to talk about a couple misses we had on that. Also, Patreon. Right after today's episode, we're going to sit back down and do Circling Bachelorette.

Shout out Chris S. That was only going one way. Directly into the sun. Dude, he was soaring. Yeah. Yeah, so we'll be doing that over on patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. Friday voicemails drop tomorrow on Thursday. Also, go get a Do You Even Burn candle.

VeloBox.com slash circling-back. I don't care if you have a need for a scented candle. I don't care if you're dating a backer and you're like, oh shit, I need the perfect Christmas gift for this person. Perfect stocking stuffer. Go get a do-you-even-burn candle. VeloBox.com slash circling dash back. I've never seen a candle wick that needs to be trimmed more.

No, I've seen more, but this one's egregious. This has got to go. This one's not good. We'll get it taken care of. One of my fave sponsor alerts. I've been loving these guys lately. Everlane. You guys ever heard of these guys?

Oh, yeah. You know, I've always traditionally not been a very big denim person. You aware of this? I've been very gun-shy when it comes to wearing jeans. You had, like, one pair of jeans. I know. What's your problem with denim? I know.

Dude, I've always just had trouble finding a pair of jeans that fits. And you guys have seen me. I hardly ever wear jeans. Everlane has entered my life now. No? Big denim guy. I'm a big Everlane guy. They really opened my eyes to the way jeans can fit.

Yeah. And feel. Yeah. These aren't your grandma's jeans. No, they're certainly not. Although those are back in style. They're pretty boy swag jeans is what they are these are swag yeah yeah a lot of denim like especially not from everlane they got pesticides they cause pollution waste it all go it's it's all this

stuff that goes into making it's not good but everlane's four-way stretch denim is made from premium organic cotton in some of the world's most sustainable factories and it's tough enough to handle becoming part of your everyday uniform guaranteed the hottest picture of the world's most sustainable factories, and it's tough enough to handle becoming part of your everyday uniform, guaranteed. The hottest picture of me that's ever been taken, I'm wearing Everlane jeans. Duh, duh. From New Orleans. Duh. Is it the one when you have a bag on your head?

Bagadelic, baby. The joke here is that you're ugly, but you're not ugly. No. That's the joke. We got the joke, thank you. I just didn't know. Very cool. I didn't know.

We have a lot of different styles of kings out there who listen to this podcast. Sure. We definitely do. Many styles of kings. Yeah. And when you talk about denim with Everlane, you have to talk about their four styles, their four washes, nothing but damn good denim. They got four-way stretch that offers a comfortable fit and freedom to move with confidence.

Their uniform 365-day guarantee. They're so confident in their uniform collection that in the unlikely event that your jeans get a hole or a tear, don't even worry about that. They'll replace them with a new pair. And guess what? Jeans can get expensive. Real expensive. Oh, buddy, yes, they can.

These are coming in at just $88. Starting at just $88. Ooh, playmaker. Dude, they're premium organic denim minus the luxury markup. It's just amazing what we're doing out here. It is. Up your denim game. Sign up today at everlane.com slash steam for 10% off your first order plus free shipping

and get easy returns within 30 days of your ship date. That's 10% off your first order when you sign up at everlane.com slash steam. So we just talked about the Geography Bee video. As everyone knows, because they've already watched it, Brett did, in fact, win. He kicked our ass, let's be fair. Yeah. If I'm being honest, I'm not positive that Brett didn't have a little intel

into some of the questions. You know, I wasn't going to be the one to say it, but there were some people talking about that. I could see him being a cheater. And I could see him, like, I could easily see him paying off Brett. I could see him paying a cheater. And I could see him like, I could easily see him paying off Brett. I could see him paying off Randy being like, yeah, dude, Randy, like how much for me to get a few questions? Randy did at times leave his notes out. Yeah, dude.

I mean, I could see Randy. He had to tape all those videos beforehand to ask us the questions. Like, Brett had to have been around for like one of them. Brett also is normally the first one in the office. It's a fact. Well. Yeah, he is now. They typically stay later than we do too, together. Dude, I don't think Randy would do that.

I hope not. Randy seems like a man of decent character. Just a guy who is just not willing to bend the rules for anybody. That being said, when Randy came in and said J-Bone got 9 out of 10, get out of here. No, he didn't. No, he didn't. 9 out of 10.

Randy says yes. Nah. Okay. Yeah, it's weird that Randy would protect his bestie. If it's not on camera, I'm getting 8 out of 10. Look, I got a little bit shook by the camera easily. Cool. You guys know geography well.

Awesome. How's that helping you in real life? Wow, dude. I'm not going to lie. I had a couple misses on this one. More than a couple. I had one that's – one I'm getting really just dragged for. Which one is that?

Japan, which – and I think this was left on the cutting room floor by whoever edited the video. We'll never know. We'll never know. But I knew that Malaysia was not Japan. I knew that. But do you know what Japan looks like? Which is why what I said was, I know this is not Japan, but I'm going to say Japan because I don't have a good guess. So I said Japan.

Wow. So you're the guy who gets home after, you know, you get sent home and then you show up on Paradise. Like, I got a bad edit. Yeah. I got a bad edit. He's the Jack Stone. It is in there? Oh.

Randy says that part is in there. Apparently people don't care. Okay, good. I'm glad it's in there. So people know that I'm not like a total dumbass. I mean, when it comes to geography, I'm somewhat of a dumbass. Japan. I know it's not Japan.

But I didn't have a better educated guess than that at the time. My brain came up with nothing. What'd you say? New Guinea. New Guinea. Get out of here. I was just trying to think of something that's kind of in the ballpark. The fact that I was aware of New Guinea.

You wanted a respectable miss. Correct. Yeah. Honestly, my goal going in was just to have respectable misses. The only one I did not have, the Tropic of Capricorn, Tropic of Cancer. That's one that really, really hurts. No offense, that should stick with

you for a little bit. That was a layup. Yeah, that's a dark cloud over your head. I was surprised you missed that one, if I'm being honest. The ones I got wrong, I'm not embarrassed about the ones I got wrong. I think the most egregious thing, I did two egregious things. I said that, I weirdly said that Rome was in Greece, which is... That was really bad. Yeah.

And like, to be honest, I know that Rome's not in Greece, because I think we're flying, I know we're flying in there, we're going to Italy. It'd be weird if we were flying into Greece. Right, as it's a different country. Yeah, so it's hard to say why my brain went there, but whatever. And then also, I said that the Serengeti was in a country

that no longer exists. You know, I've been to Greece. They call you the Greek freak? They called me the Greek freak while I was there. Oh my God, you got the answer wrong. Right, that's from the movie Greece.

Yeah. Okay, Sandy. Where's Kenicky? Oh, the Serengeti's really sandy. It's prettyickie? Oh, my God. Oh, this Sam and Getty's really sandy. It's pretty good. Is it? It is. I don't know.

Hard to say. I didn't know. There's probably something sandy. I thought it spanned over multiple countries. I did, too. That's how big of a moron I am. I did, too. I did, too.

If there's one thing that the school system in Harbor Springs, Michigan needs to up a little bit, I've realized it's teaching the geography, landscape, and just overall layout of Africa. Yeah, I just named the first country in Africa I could think of, which was Nigeria. Not right. You did have that one moment where I said, there's no way Dylan gets this, and then you got it.

Congratulations. Was it Greenwich? Yeah. Yeah. I said the airport. People came at me for not getting the Greenwich one. Surprise me, honestly. I don't really like when I – I know I watch a lot of English soccer,

but I'm not saying like, oh, okay, this game's on at 12 o'clock Greenwich meantime. This is how you talk when you're not on the pod. I need to – Did you get that one right, Dave? No. I said Heathrow. Oh. Fucking airport.

Shots to Heathrow, though. I couldn't think of anything that wasn't London that was in that area. So I was just saying shit. Yeah. I probably should have gotten Greenwich Mean Time, but I mean. You got last place, dog. I don't care. That's tough, man.

I don't care. I've never repped that I'm good at geography. Like, I've never been the geography guy. That's not something. If we do times tables or if we do spelling, then I'd have myself held at a higher standard. But when it comes to geography, I've gotten increasingly more stupid over the last few years.

From Europe going east all the way to California, which is a fairly big area, I'm lost. I don't know shit. Wait, that includes our country. East of Europe. So all of Asia, for example, David. The Middle East. I'm lost.

Oh. Yeah. Okay. Once you get back to the West Coast, United States. Exactly. That's what I'm trying to say. You need to expand your horizons. Eurocentric.

Okay. Yeah. Can I ask a question? I guess, man. Okay, here we go. Are you guys too manly to put dairy in your fucking coffee? Apparently. Apparently not.

Dylan and I have both been low-key getting shit on lately for using creamer in our coffee, and I feel like this is unjust. Well, I mean, are you familiar with the cycle of violence that creates creamer? Yeah. Uh-huh. To anyone out there who is on the fence of watching this season of Curb Your Enthusiasm, please, please just go watch it

because the most recent episode is an all-timer. It really, I didn't know what to expect, and let me tell you, that episode did everything. Unbelievable. Even had the guy from Ozarks in it. Yeah. Ozark. Yeah.

I couldn't place where he was from until, like, the final scene, and I was like, oh, Ozark. But you're the Ozark guy. Everyone knows that. Yeah, I'm the guy who bailed after one season. That dude plays a great hillbilly. Yeah, he's got hillbilly face. Yeah, hillbilly beard grows in perfectly.

Yeah, yeah. It's a great beard. My tweet about the coffee tweet, I just wanted an excuse to use the term super fantastic, which is what I call coffee now. Super fantastic. Was that an original term? No, it's from our friend Cole Campbell, the genius. Yeah, so I said, what kind of cream are you guys using?

And then the manliest guy on earth, who Dave apparently knows, responded and said, well, what kind of man or whatever he said, what kind of man would put creamer in his coffee? Which I think is hilarious. It's freaking hilarious. I mean, this is on the coattails of me getting dragged in the reviews saying that I put out the vibe of a dude who only drinks soy milk. He said my severed head is basically on display at the entrance of Washed Media. That's pretty funny I just I just imagine like this guy at a diner with his buddies you

know and someone orders cop any couple guys order coffee and then the waiter brings over like the little you know the little creamer whatever you call that thing and like everyone just looking like man i really want some cream in my coffee but i don't want my friends to think i'm a pussy i'm just gonna drink it black instead how will i ever recover from putting cream in my coffee in front of my friends they're never gonna respect me if i put cream i think we have i don't use it but i think at my household um my my wife well congrats on being married.

I think it's like a birthday cake creamer flavor, like sprinkles or something. Damn, everything is cake. Everything. And you know me, I don't know what this is going to do to me and my cred, but I'm an oat milk. I'm a splash of oat milk, boy.

What if this guy knew that you use birthday cake creamer in your coffee, man? He would never talked to you again like what if i put on like like what if i put on like i don't know like 30 pounds and like this this guy who left the review was like oh dude like you really let yourself go i was like no dude i actually started using uh not or actually you started using dairy creamer and i've put on a lot of weight because of it because it's just got more cows than my soy milk does. He's like, oh, you're good, dog.

That's manly as shit. It's funny because I really don't even drink coffee anymore. I'm only into the biodynamic coffee. Oh, really? What a fucking great episode. It was. Oh, God. Okay.

Yeah, I mean, Dylan, are you really doing creamer? Yeah. Okay. The brand is the one I've been using lately. Actually, my favorite is Picnic Creamer. Oh, Keto Creamer. Yeah, it's really, really good. I'll call you back.

Dude, so it didn't come from a cow, dude? It tastes really good. I just wish everything picnic if you don't know it's a is a local austin establishment they apparently manufacture their own creamer and it's all keto healthy friendly they have coffee i just wish i could go there and get a cup of coffee that wasn't 17 yeah that's fair that's all i but they do make a dope iced cappuccino. The Mayan mocha goes real hard. Yeah. I love getting kicked in the dick whenever I go there. It's just great.

Yeah, my coffee there, legit, is $13 when I go. Yeah. I do it every day. Yeah, that's why I no longer go there. I haven't done it in a year. I got to the point where I got so tired of even thinking about paying for it that we just decided to start making our exact replica, and it was just as good.

To be clear to the people being like, what idiot spends $13 on coffee? It's not just, it's not basic coffee. MCT oil. They soup it up. Protein. It's a thing. If you drink one of their coffees, you feel as full as if you ate an entire meal. Yeah, it is almost a meal replacement.

Yeah, exactly. For some it is. What's y'all's favorite non-dairy milk? Oat. Let's get ahead of this. Oat is maybe the worst. Almond. Almond is too flavorful. I like oat because it's subtle. You're probably getting vanilla almond milk. Oh, let's get ahead of this. Oh, is maybe the worst. Almond. Almond is too flavorful.

I like oat. Cause it's subtle. You probably get in vanilla almond milk. You can get basic dog. I'm not your basic. You're basic bitch. I'm sorry. No,

I didn't mean to shit on oat that much, but you went a little hard on oat. Yeah. I'm sorry. I apologize. It's fine. I've been doing cricket lately too. Cricket milk. Yeah. You milk cricket. I've been doing cricket lately, too. Cricket milk?

Yeah. They milk crickets? It's very microscopic little tweezers. Dude, do the you can milk anything line from Meet the Parrots. Dude, I'm saving that one for the bachelor party. I like the guy who responded to that tweet and said, fellas, is it gay to like caramel? Yeah, you can't like anything.

That thread was fun. You're not a man. I'm fine. Like, I drink black coffee a decent amount, but, like, I don't think I'm cooler because of it. Most of the time it's because I'm either out of, like, something to put in my coffee or I just don't feel like putting it in. I drank black coffee for years, and that's because I didn't want the sugar intake daily. So I just like, you know, I'll just skip it.

But then I found creamer that doesn't have sugar, and I'm like, oh, this is actually much more enjoyable. See, I thought you were just skipping it because you were actually a man and not a complete pussy like you've turned into. Unfortunately, that's not why. Just toxic on the T.L. I love this guy.

He wants to pick games. I've actually used some of his picks. I'm like 6-4 with his picks this year. So you could say I'm doing pretty well. I might be paying for the PJ. I heard his picks weren't doing that well lately. They were drowning slowly. Okay.

I believe I was chastised for bringing that song up earlier in the week. And then you just doubled down. Well, didn't we decide that Ben Folds, like, he's kind of over now? You know about my high school or my eighth grade football and basketball coach who was my science teacher and used to have me burn him CDs onto cassettes? That was the Ben Folds Five. Damn, were y'all rocking the suburbs? Is that one of their songs? I don't know. That's just a Ben Folds song, not Ben Folds 5. Damn. Were y'all rocking the suburbs? Is that one of their songs?

I don't know. That's just a Ben Folds song, not Ben Folds 5. I saw them in concert one time. They were, the guys who were really into Ben Folds were, I don't know how to say it. I have a buddy from high school who got really into Ben Folds and he just went through a weird time. He wore weird jeans. He just went through a weird time.

He wore weird jeans. He was trying to be edgy, emo-y, but he wasn't. I was like, dude, you were very popular in high school. You played sports and hooked up. Ben Folds has a very stereotypical fan base, I would say. You know a Ben Folds fan when you see one. They love having some soy milk in their latte. Well, Dave's buddy would not hang out with him. No, he doesn't listen to Ben Folds.

Brick's going to pick games with us. By the way, his name is Brick. Can we have Brick on too much dip? Yeah, he absolutely would. Can we talk picks and coffee with him? He would love that. He puts off bad internet connection vibes. He tried to walk back his first tweet

by saying like you need you need to choose better coffee or something like it's not really what's going on here man you're just so maley that you don't need creamer no dude unless you're on the verge of shitting your pants from your black coffee after you're drinking it like you're not a man he was the dude he was the uh the dude in in the Deodora jumpsuit walking into the courtroom with all the cameras flashing and just mean-mucking everybody. Yeah, looking at everybody drinking their soy lattes. Should we stop roasting this dude? Uh-uh.

No. No, he asked for it. But what if I told you we had a new sponsor alert? Then could we stop roasting him? Uh, yeah. Roasting him like his black coffee i'm sorry yeah it's it's a light roast uh is it time for a new sponsor alert dude can you like yeah i mean sponsor if you if you've ever been in oh yeah go ahead new sponsor alert if you've

ever been in austin and you've ever been in a bar and you've ever like just seen people hanging out you've seen a zilker belt out there before you certainly have yeah they combine the craftsmanship and world-class leather from Argentina ever heard of Argentina could you could you point that out on the map Dylan um I believe I could find Argentina yeah well then they have the creativity and personality of Austin Texas and Zilker belts provides a one-of-a-kind addition to your wardrobe styled for any occasion their belts are equally at home, on the golf course, at a music festival, on a hike, at the office, anywhere. So I've seen these things all over town for years, and I've always wanted one. I've always been very intrigued, but I've never found out who made them.

And then I did, and then guess what? Bae got me one. This isn't the one that Bae got me. She got me one several months back. I wear it pretty much every day. And now I have this one. They are fantastic. They're great. Just holding them, you can tell the quality of these things.

The craftsmanship that goes into the actual sewing of the belt is amazing. We met with the founders of Zilker Belts, and they told us all about... They've been down to Argentina where these belts are made. Like you said, they're handcrafted, hand-sewn. They're very high quality and very good looking.

Crazy that we're going to have to take a trip down there to check out this manufacturing facility as well. That is crazy. We're going to have to do some bird hunting down there. You hear about the bird hunting down there? Oh, yeah. Blasting birds, bro. Just easy.

Easy. We maxed out. I'm wearing mine right now. Whoa. Why don't you stand up and show the class? See if that ass is popping. Y'all want to see this ass? Looks really good with your Jamie Benn counterfeit jersey.

Oh, that's a good-looking one. Okay, don't bounce. You're going to turn people away. Yeah, that's the Austin Verde. Randy liked that one. I'm sitting right here. This is the Verde belt? This is the ACL.

You ever heard of Austin FC? This has got ACL. My belt literally says Vamos Verde on it. Yeah, I know. People are probably wondering, well, what's D-Man's deal? Why isn't he wearing one? Well, I went e-waist today not knowing that I was going to be gifted a beautiful Zilker belt. But tomorrow, it's going to be a problem.

People are going to be watching my 32-inch waist real closely. Wow. Okay, you don't have to brag about the waist size. I'm going to come in here pee-popping. Get your belt game up this holiday season. Go to ZilkerBelts. Wow. You don't have to brag about the waist size. I'm going to come in here pee-popping. Get your belt game up this holiday season. Go to ZilkerBelts.com. Use promo code BACKER at checkout for 20% off anything on the site

from today through the end of November. Again, that's promo code BACKER at ZilkerBelts.com for 20% off anything on the site. Also, dog collars. Dog collars. Randy's first collar was a Zilker collar. I hope my brother-in-law is not listening because I am about to get one for him for Christmas.

Ooh, that's a good idea. I've been trying to find a good gift for Rosie. I've been thinking about that. Fantastic gift idea. Nice. We had a take on the TL yesterday that I think is worth talking about. You guys have birthdays, right? Randy's is April 5th.

Dylan's had many. Yeah, you've had more than everybody else in this office right now. That's true. Well, have you guys seen Mish? Mishbag22 on Twitter? She got quote tweeted into oblivion. It said, don't invite me out for your birthday if I have to pay for my own food. If you want me to be there to celebrate your birthday,

then you can pay the whole tab. If you don't want to pay for your birthday if I have to pay for my own food. If you want me to be there to celebrate your birthday, then you can pay the whole tab. If you don't want to pay for 20 people's dinners, don't invite 20 people out for your birthday. Don't at me. I will die on this hill. How long until she deletes this tweet because she's refusing to die on the hill? How's that ratio looking? She says she's got 170 retweets, 6,592 quote tweets. That's a serious

ratio. Dude, she's so far under the ground that we can't even recover the body right now. Wow. She said everyone acts like this is ludicrous as if they don't get invited to dozens of birthday parties as a child with a birthday kid's parents paid. How is that the same thing? Dude, I want to be crystal clear about this, Dylan. It's not. It's not.

You're an adult with presumably an income. And if you were going to go out to dinner, expect to pay for your own food. Dude, don't even invite me. If you invite me, along with that text message inviting me to your birthday dinner, I want a Venmo of $60 for my dinner so I can pay for it. That's unbelievable. This is the brokest shit I've ever seen.

I think I had this take when I was 22 making zero dollars when I was living in San Francisco for a brief period and I was like, oh man, like if you, like, oh, if I want to go to your dinner, you're going to pay for it. Like, shut up. Like, you don't, you hate your friends that much that you're making them pay for your dinner and you don't want to celebrate them and have

fun with them on their special day? I've invited you guys to Matt's El Rancho numerous times for my birthday dinners. Thank you for paying for yourself. I really appreciate it. We probably paid for your ass. And not sticking me with the $500 bill. Too bad Klein didn't subscribe to this.

What do you mean? What'd the intern do? We had a birthday dinner at Matt's for him, right? we had a birthday dinner at matt's for him right when they had a birthday dinner that night we went to matt's in the oh when i got put at the adult table no no no the bill was just astronomically high that was my birthday that was bullshit that was bullshit you were wrong man i just got put at the fucking adult table it's terrible i was with like all your i was like with all the the. I was so bored.

Whatever. I mean, like, birthday takes like these always get a lot of play. Because it crosses lines. Like, across the board, everybody's going to birthday dinners. And everybody's thinking the same thing. And that's, hey, if I'm going to your birthday dinner, you can pick up the tab as it is your birthday. At least that's how I go into it. So I do silently judge those of you who do not pick up the tab. Oh, and when it's your birthday, you're saying?

No. So you agree with this young lady? I do. I think she should be praised for putting it on the TL. If anything, I think the exact opposite of what she thinks. Yes. Pay for the birthday boy's meal, the birthday girl's meal. How old do you have to be before you stop itemizing a bill?

When you get your first big boy job. 24? Yes. A lot of big boy jobs don't pay that well still. No, but there's definitely an age cutoff where it's like, guys, we just got to put our cards in. 27. That's too old for me. Really?

I think 25 is where my limit is, but I skew 24 for this. I was also in school at 27, so I didn't have any money. Clearly not geography school. What an idiot, dude. Are you serious? Five out of 10? i feel like i did the same as you oh yeah and better than will i'm stupid like i'm dumb like i if i'm if i am your bar for knowledge like that's concerning you aren't you you're just not if it's not geography b is not a if it's not a test of like intellect if it's no yeah. How much have you looked at a map?

If this was a quiz about how to navigate the internet, I'm going to do very well on that quiz. You're smart in some areas. It's not geography. If you want to know about... No, never mind. No, I do believe that something that's gone out of favor a little bit, and I do agree. If you go to someone's birthday dinner, that person should not pay. No.

And you know what? I'm willing to expend it to that person's significant other. Correct. His or her sigil. I actually think that there might be a little responsibility on the significant other to maybe shell out a little bit. We were at a party. I'm not going to say who it was. We were at a birthday party, and somebody's significant other put down a a large amount because it was an expensive dinner and i very much appreciated that initiative from that significant other of the birthday person uh yeah ross did this yeah yeah that's what i'm talking about you're talking about yeah yeah yeah i really appreciated that ross run went out of his way and

he was like this was an expensive dinner i'm not going to make everyone pay like the full amount that they are owed because we we invited you to this nice restaurant. That was a big move from Ross. That's a good point. But if you're going to Matt's El Rancho, then yeah, then don't make... If everyone's entree is under $13, then you don't have to make everyone... Just throw in your cards and let the happy couple sit out.

Unless everyone ordered more drinks than me. In which case, I'm going to raise... Well, actually... It's tough in your initial tweet ordered more drinks than me in which case i'm going to raise i'm going to be well actually shut up it's it's tough in your initial tweet on a very polarizing topic like this to say uh i will die on this hill because you just like you you know you've i love it yeah it's not the right take but it's it's it's fantastic you've dug your heels in from the jump before you even know how polarizing it actually is you're're kind of just stuck, which I do appreciate from her.

I hope her friends just don't invite her to any birthdays from this point forward. That's the thing. She's no longer invited to anything. I love it. What if you play credit card roulette and then you just say, I'm not going to pay it when they pull your card? I'm not going to pay it. I'm not going to pay it. Did someone do this?

Did someone close to us do this? Someone has done it. I think you should leave. It's a sketch. Oh, I haven't seen that one. I love referencing sketch. I have been the guy who wants to not pay for his part of the credit card roulette, but you can't be that guy.

Oh, credit card roulette stinks when you lose, man. It really does. It's such a better look to be the person being like, I don't want to do this, and just squash it as opposed to being the person who welches on it. Everyone has to agree to play. Yeah. That's rule one.

What if everyone agrees? What if you're at an, let's say you're at a 12-person dinner and one person's like, no, I'm absolutely not doing this. Can you just say like, all right, you can get your shit off the tab. Everyone else is doing it. You't that's that's extra work for the the server you know whenever i hear someone object i always look at them like oh yeah thank you really rally the troops right now yeah like object a little bit more six one you have to have full participation have you guys ever gotten stuck with a particularly bad credit card roulette bill

um i lost once and it was like 400-ish, which was pretty... It's pretty steep. It stung. I was on a dinner with, I think, six guys at a nice place and I knew two of the six people. That always hurts.

I was the second to last card picked and when I was staring at that, I was like, man, I'm about to pay for this dinner with a bunch of dudes I don't know. And luckily I did not have to, but I think that if they would have chosen my card, the other guys would have been like,

no, we're not going to make this new guy in the group pay for everyone's dinner. Yeah, you've got to make it up to the guy if you go out afterward, get some drinks for the loser, right? If it's someone's first time eating with a group, don't play credit card roulette, because you're going to make them feel uncomfortable. I agree. Especially if they lose.

And they can't be the person that chirps up and is like, no, I don't want to do this. Yeah, that's the thing. Everyone's like, oh, that's the guy that doesn't want to play credit card roulette. You put them in a tough spot. Yeah, it's terrible. It's got to be with your boys. It's terrible.

Should we do that for the Christmas dinner this year? What restaurant? We'll probably just put it on the company card. I think we shouldn't do credit card roulette for it. Okay. Where are we doing it? Randy's date gets it. The plan now is Sammy's, but we

may pivot. We're not married to that idea. We may pivot. That's how you did sound, to be fair. We may pivot. I didn't say it like that. That's how you said it. I said we may pivot. I just had deja vu. Dude, you started creaming your coffee. That was putting cream in your statement.

You know who not only puts cream in their coffee, but they sing about putting cream in their coffee? Lyle Lovett. Are you going to tell him that he's not a man? That's a fair point. That's Lyle Lovett. He was once married to Julia Roberts. He was.

Really? Forget that. I did not know that. Went to Texas A&M. You probably didn't know that either, you idiot. He was friends with the guy who worked the rigs from 3 to midnight&M. You probably didn't know that either, you idiot. He was friends with the guy who worked the rigs from 3 to midnight. Yeah. You probably didn't know that either.

I like Lyle Lovett, though. You put cream in your coffee. He likes cream in his coffee. I love it. Super fantastic. He likes to make eggs on Sunday as well. Nobody knows him but his baby. Beautiful babies.

I got some super fantastic right here. Julia Roberts was a a top tier babe in the 90s still is still is uh yeah you think always has been oh you see this movie where she was uh aaron brockovich pretty woman sally was sally was pretty woman for halloween this year very beautiful in that movie i think all of our sig-goths are pretty women every night. I agree with you, David. Personally. Just me speaking candidly.

Beautiful babies everywhere. Yeah, most beautiful babies. But what if Julia Roberts didn't have red hair and she went with blonde? Would we cancel her right now? Blonde hair is... It's a little choogy.

It's choogy. A tweet sent out today from the New York Post said that blonde hair is out. It's officially choogy. I respond to this tweet. Gen Z. Dude, what's Gen Z's problem? It's hard to say.

They're canceling genetics. Is cool Adam Gen Z? Probably, yeah. We need to get him in here when he shows up. It says, gentlemen may prefer blondes but not Gen Z from denouncing side-parting your hair,

skinny jeans to skewing a two-party political system most recently AirPods. Gen Z has struck again now declaring that blonde hair is outdated and darker shades are in.

Now Gen Z is taking credit for being against the two-party system. Give me a fucking break, Gen Z. Yeah, does Gen Z know that no one else has said that? Some people are actually born naturally

with blonde hair. No, dude, they're looking at Sweden right now just like, fuck you. Yeah. I responded to this tweet and I said,

Gen Z can catch these hands. You're going to fight an entire generation. Dude, you're really on one. To which somebody responded, I just don't think you're going to be able to fight an entire generation.

See? That's a good take. To Parker, I say, I'm built different, buddy. Imagine being born with naturally blonde hair and now you just have to cancel yourself. You could just dye your hair.

Or just lose your hair like me. You think that's an option? I've been on Chugi Watch for a long time. That's why I've been slowly parting ways with it for the last 12 years. Gen Z just sucks. Unless you're a paid backer. Then I love you. Then you're great, probably.

Maybe not. This is the hoodie inside generation. All right, why don't you slow down? I wore a hoodie today. I mean, like with the hood on. I'm sorry. Okay.

Our friend, I actually, I was kind of hung over the other day wearing a hoodie and I wanted to put the hood up and sit on the couch, but I felt like such a tick tock star that I was like, I can't sit with this hood up. Ross has Gen Z vibes. Sometimes when he does,

Ross is the most Gen Z person that we know right now. Gen Z millennial. I know. Gen Z millennia. He is. They used a photo of Haley Bieber for this, and she looks blonde in both of these photos to me, if I'm not mistaken. She's very beautiful to me.

Hailey Bieber, I'll say it. You guys are afraid to say it. I'm trying to link and build with her when I go to the Bieber concert next year. She's pretty. She's definitely pretty. Oh, fuck. Is the Bieber concert the same weekend as Vegas? I'm going to have to skip Vegas to go to Biebs.

That's not funny. Dude, I would not be mad at you for doing that. Bieber's only coming here once or twice a year. Dave, I only get married twice, dude. That's good. Do we have a hashtag for your wedding yet? Can we crowdsource it? If you come up with one, make sure it makes fun of me for getting married a second time.

Yeah, that's the idea. And my second Vegas bachelor party, too. That's crazy. No one's doing that. I've only been married once, and I have zero bachelor parties on my roster. Slucks to suck, bro. Hey, me and some of the guys are talking about renting a convertible and just driving top down. Should I make this my bachelor party?

Really? What if this was my bachelor party instead? You should cuck it. I'm going to make a bunch of styrofoam cups that say Will's Bachelor Bash. Damn, dude. Oh, who's going to have the better koozie? Probably Will. He's like a design guy.

Yeah. Yeah. Your koozie's going to suck. Dylan's going to buy a bunch of blank koozies and get a permanent marker and just write Dylan's bachelor party on it. What's the program you use to design shit? Dude, don't even worry about it. Imagine me on that, whatever it's called. Microsoft Paint.

Paint shop. Paint. Microsoft Paint. Aren't you a big paint guy? I am, yeah. I still use paint. Didn't you get an iPad so you could do Microsoft Paint with your hands? Uh-huh.

I'll get Randy to help me or something. Dylan got that iSAD. I'll hit a Ricky. Just a Ricky. The eye sad? Is that what you said? Yeah. This is going to be such a fun trip, man.

Yeah, I can't wait. If you're blonde, do we need to make, are there any blonde people going on this trip with us? We can't have our swag jacked by them. Yeah, you're right. No. Brett? Oh, yeah. Fuck.

We'll just shave his head on the private jet. Yeah, Brett is the most blonde person. Yeah, he likes to claim his strawberry blonde. It probably is to some degree, but it's blonde. Don't try to dress up your blondness, Brett. Just own it. I might have to fight the whole generation. Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm. Whether they're six or they're 24, you're fighting them right now. It doesn't matter. Is that the age span right now span that's the age span right now six to 24 is your son six is he is he generation alpha though he's generation alpha yeah so it's not six i'm sorry did they just find like one person who tweeted about this and then they're like yeah there's a there are not no they found one person on TikTok that did this. Okay. To all the blonde stars out there, we support you. Very cool. I love a good blonde ale.

I'm about to marry a blonde. Big facts. Okay. Who makes the Dallas blonde? Carbock? No. No, I don't know. I actually think that's a pretty mid-beer, unfortunately.

That used to be my go-to. Deep Ellum Brewing, I believe. Deep Ellum. I don't hate it. It's fine. Maybe I'm just not a blonde ale guy. Do you want to try it for the first time, which I'm sad to say I do not love? What?

Old Speckled Hint. Really? I just had my first one like two days ago. Can or draft? Can. I think you should try it on draft. Okay, I will. It tasted like flat.

Yeah, I think you should try it on draft. Okay. Because the foaminess of the draft is different than the foaminess you get from other beers. It's more velvety feeling. Okay. Yeah. I'm open to it. Okay.

Where did you have this? I purchased it at the store, brought it home, and I cracked it. If you want to donate any to mine, my stash, you can donate those to me. It's a pack of four, and I gave one to my brother-in-law and I drank the others. I hated it so much that I drank the entire pack I got. They weren't bad. I was

expecting to be blown away. You wanted your dick blown off. Yeah, I wanted to be completely sans penis. Your brother-in-law, Kendall, puts off black coffee vibes. I don't know. He just seems like a manly feller. He is. He likes to hunt and he likes to wear boots and shit like that.

He does. It's true. I've seen him. But the nicest guy in the world. Good dude. Yeah. He does. It's true. I've seen him. The nicest guy in the world.

Good dude. Will, the Founders beer that has the 100% rating from beerologists. It's fantastic. It's a very popular beer. The fact that they're producing it now at a much higher rate than they used to. It's much easier to find.

It used to be hard to find. If you saw a pack at the store, you just had to get it. Yeah, the KBS. Thank you, Will. I believe it's much easier to find. It used to be hard to find. They used to be the kind of thing if you saw a pack at the store, you just had to get it. Yeah, the KBS. Thank you, Will. I believe it's aged in an oak barrel, has hints of coffee and things of that nature.

I also picked up some Samuel Smith's Nut Brown, which I'm very excited about. You know what I've been sipping on lately? Are you dancing with a stranger? Sally overbought on this because she was worried that it was going to be sold out the entire time like last year.

Last year you couldn't find this stuff. The Anchor Christmas Ale. I saw you post that. Yeah. Not only did we buy a six-pack, but then Sally went back to the store and bought two more six-packs. How is it? It's wonderful. It's probably my favorite Christmas ale.

I don't think I've had that one. All right. But their Liberty Ale, I love. Anchor for me, they don't miss yet. Love it. I love it. You like the steam? Love it all.

Yeah. Anchor Steam probably is my favorite go-to beer at this point. Is that a big fact? Yeah, because like Guinness, I can't drink in the heat. Right. When it's cold outside, Guinness is probably my go-to panic order. But, you know, Anchor Steam, if they've got that, it's probably going to get ordered by your boy. Steaming. Steaming.

Steaming Willie Beeman. Get over here, David. You see that ass? Sitting right next to you. I wanted to spank it with my Zilker belt earlier. You could have spanked my ass when I was shaking it on cam. Oh, damn. We tried again.

You guys looked like, why can't I shake ass on the camera? This is our podcast. You know, you can. It's just, you know, we don't want to turn people away. Can I ask you guys a question? What a mean thing to say. Yeah. Ask your question.

This guy's trying to help out a sponsor. Do you guys have anything that's been consistently in your nighttime routine as of late? A few things. One of them jumps out immediately, though, and that's Early Bird CBD. Wait, is that... Are they a sponsor today? Wait, is the Early Bird CBD, is that the recreational hemp product

that contained about two and a half milligrams of natural THC and about 12 and a half milligrams of CBD in each gummy? That is the one I was referring to. The ones that are formulated for fun to make you feel good and... Those ones? Shit.

God, I'm upset. I've become obsessed with it. Dude, it be hitting. I am a... It works. Those ones? Shit. God, I'm upset. I've become obsessed with it. Dude, it be hitting. I am a. It works. Almost every weeknight. So well. Consumer of the early bird.

And oftentimes I will pair it with a small glass of wine. And let me tell you. That's bad boy shit. I'm sleeping so well. This dude be sleeping. You're a bad boy, Davey. If you think I care, I don't. I've been on my early bird shit for like a long time.

I used to live with one of the guys that started the company. I trust him. You were ground floor. I was ground floor. And I have to say, every single person that I've turned on to early bird CBD has been a repeat customer. This is my favorite CBD gummi, no questions asked. It actually makes me feel like something.

I'm glad you said that. I introduced it to Bay. She is obsessed, and she's telling all of her friends about it, and they are obsessed and reporting back to her about it, how well they're sleeping, how relaxed they feel after they take it. This stuff's perfect. We're just an Austin company right now, and we're supporting other Austin companies, from Zilker, Belts, to Early Bird CBD.

They're right in our backyard. Austin's on one lately. We used to record in their backyard, kind of. Literally. Well, in their house. Literally. We were in the back. We were inside.

We were just out back on a picnic table. Dude, that table out back is nice. I've had a lot of late nights back there. Oh, yeah. That's cool, man. Yeah. The following discount codes, or our discount code is STEAM for 20% off everything on earlybirdcbd.com. STEAM for 20% off everything at earlybirdcbd.com.

This is a one-use code, so if you are feeling like you're going to want to order more and re-up, get as much as you can in the beginning because you don't want to kick yourself later for not doing it. Am I right or am I right? You're right. Do it. Hey, dude, it's time. Are you ready, Dave? Four.

TMZ Dave is in the building. TMZ Dave is here. Can I hit that again? That's good. That's a new one. I like that. Headline. Range Rover hired Wyclef Jean to play a corporate event,

and he accidentally dropped the CEO on his head. Full disclosure, I've not seen the video yet. So I'm going to live in-game reaction to the video. I haven't seen it either. If you don't mind, thank you. You can never hit that button too much. Dude, it's kind of a satisfying button to hit. How did this get put in the group text last night and you didn't even watch it last night?

I don't know. How much audio can Randy have in one place? I was probably watching Curb. Big audio guy. Okay, so he is on Wycliffe's shoulders. He's an old man. Is this a no-bones day for the CEO of Range Rover? This man is old.

He does not need to be on anyone's shoulders. Why is he up there? He's lucky he man. Is this a no-bones day for the CEO of Range Rover? This man is old. He does not need to be on anyone's shoulders. Why is he up there? He's lucky he survived this fall. Seriously, the fact that his hip is not broken. This is such a flex from Wyclef to be like, no, get on my shoulders. Oh, no. Oh, he just dumped him forward. His meat was on Wyclef's neck.

Oh, he dumped him forward. Oh, my gosh. Oh, no. Wyclef's very concerned. This man is probably worth billions. He's too old to go up there. That's an embarrassing way to go out. But I don't...

Ugh. That's uncomfortable. But honestly, though, if you have the opportunity... If Wyclef invites you onto his shoulders, you've got to take that opportunity, right? As a... You never know when you're going to see him again. He might be gone until November.

That dude who doesn't put cream in his coffee, he's not getting on another man's shoulders, I'll tell you that. You know what I mean? Have you ever been on my shoulders? I would feel weird being on someone's shoulders, seeing as how I have a private part between my legs, and it's like closely on your neck. Question.

Would you rather get on someone's another person's shoulders um fully clothed or in a pool for chicken fighting oh i'll take a fight you'd rather chicken fight even though you're chicken it's a little bit more sexual cold beer on a friday night It's a little more sexual. What is? Chicken fighting's not sexual, David. No, but the way you do it, where you're facing the other way.

Okay, we're not doing that. We're not doing that. I don't do that. I don't chicken fight. I'm a grown man. Dude, Dylan has said numerous times before we record to not bring up the fact that he chicken fights like that. Why'd you have to do it to him like that, dude? I'm chicken fighting in the wind pool party.

The way you do it, at least. Okay. Yeah, only forward-facing chicken fighting at Dylan's bachelor party. That trip's going to be so fun. Dude, chill. Are you kidding me? Sally's going to listen to this episode

and be like, are you guys really doing reverse chicken fighting at the bachelor party? We're not doing it with girls. We're doing it with each other. It'll be fine. Yeah, it's dude on dude, Sally Chill. I'm going to have Flounder reversed on my shoulders,

and I'm just going to be fucking killing people. You're going to be a problem. Dude, he's a weapon in the pool. Dude, can you imagine how... He'd be great for chicken fighting. Yeah. That's a sturdy base. Yeah, that's a good base.

If I get the number one draft pick for chicken fights at whatever pool we go to, I'm choosing Flounder. Drew is the golf pick, and Flounder is the chicken fight. Reverse chicken fight. Yeah. Mm-hmm. This guy's okay, right? I don't know.

If I'm being honest, Wyclef got him up way faster than I thought he should. This guy's old, and I'm not sure that we should just be bringing him immediately off the ground. That's a head rush. Probably, yeah. You don't want to mess with the neck. just be bringing him immediately off the ground. That's a head rush. You don't want to mess with the neck. Old people do not belong on your shoulders. That's a rule. Unless they're getting married in the Jewish fashion.

If Micah had been 65, we're still tossing him on our shoulders. Hey, Larry went to temple. He did. Really? Yeah. He befriended a Klansman. That is true. And he's a Jewish man. I did not expect that. A lot happened.

Hey, I've got another TMZ headline. It's actually from Forbes. This should have been under the birthday seg, but I forgot it. This has made the rounds in Texas because it's a Texas story. But the guy who, for his 40th birthday, rented out the Fort Worth Zoo, by the way, a world-class zoo, and had Ryan Bingham, noted Americana artist who once played a fraternity party of ours that I was not there for.

And is currently in Yellowstone. In Yellowstone. Ryan Bingham during cocktail hour. Eddie Vedder of Pearl Jam solo during dinner. Very cool. Capped off with, oh, I don't know, Chainsmokers? Wait, they're the headliner? They headlined this man's 40th birthday party.

We've been staying in Paris. At the Fort Worth Zoo. This dude is so choogy. He's a 40-year-old billionaire, oil and gas guy. Sold his company to Pioneer. Billy? Billy. That's pretty good.

That's the last of my TMZ stores. If you had a three-act show for your birthday party, which you are paying for and no one else is paying for, Matty B, Ashley Simpson, Elton John.

I don't hate that. Who's opening for who? You've got to close down with Maddie B. That's fair. He's going to bring the house absolutely down. It'll go Elton, Ashley, Maddie. Ashley's the dinnertime entertainment? Yeah.

I feel like Elton ticking on the ivories could be real good dinnertime. No, Elton's like cocktail hour. Like, let's get the piano out, get the people feeling loose and sexy. Are you going to put him on your shoulders? And then Ashley comes and she just sets a serious tone, and then Matty B just brings it home, you know? Can you imagine Dylan with Elton John on his weak-ass shoulders? What are you talking about, dude?

Yeah, I didn't want to say anything. I will hold Elton up. He'll be slipping off those things. When people try to hop on your shoulders for chicken fighting, they just like, I can't stay up here, dude. I need a little bit more mass. It's like a greased pole. Okay. My shoulders are the weak part.

Didn't they call you all Greasy Pole back in the day? Oh, Greasy Pole. No one called me Greasy Pole. Yeah, the one with the fish. Brian Greasy. Yeah, oh, Greasy Pole over here. No one called me Brian Greasy. Yeah.

I'm closing out my birthday with Cannibal Corpse. That's a good one. Wow. That's a good one. Which number, though, are they going to open with? I don't know, man. It might just be like Murderous Rampage or whatever that one was. Wood Chipper Accident?

Wood Chipper Accident. That was a fake one. That was funny, man. Those guys are wild. Oh. No, the fun one. That was funny, man. Those guys are wild. Oh. No, the fun one's cocktail hour. Because cocktail hour is pretty low risk. If you have anybody playing.

Okay, real answer. Some group with a saxophone. I'm doing jazz. Brass against. Maybe like acid jazz. Dude, brassass Against. You could not only celebrate your birthday with gifts, you could get showered.

I want a sexy sax number. A birthday shower. I don't want that, David. Well, the tuba plays, and they're covering a Tool song. Are you done? No. I kind of want Ye to play because you know he's going to wear something just wild ass and it's going to end up on TMZ and then I can do the segment talking about my birthday party.

TMZ birthday with Dave. Right. He's going to wear a mask. He might wear the Carl Havoc mask. He has that in his bag. So you want Ye wearing the Carl Havoc mask performing at your birthday party? Cocktail hour. I co-signed this so hard.

And I want him to have no eyebrows like he does in the photo with Drake and Jay Prince. I'm worried about Kanye. Is it because he shaved his eyebrows? I'm just worried about him in general. His new girlfriend's smoking hot, though, so good for him.

Significantly younger. Looks like both of them are going that way. Kim and Pete Davidson was just a publicity stunt, right? They're not texting right now. How old's Pete Davidson? 26. Oh, wow. Who's playing yours, Will?

Nora Jones? Actually, she's not a bad cocktail hour. She's not a bad cocktail hour choice She's not a bad cocktail hour choice. That's a really good cocktail hour. I think I'm going to shut it down with a silent disco performance by Jamiroquai. But he has to do the virtual insanity video. The light-up dance floor is in play for that. But we all have headphones on.

You guys ever been to a silent disco? Walked by them at ACL, never done one. It's a disco that's silent. You know what? I'm not interested. Thank you, though. I think that ship sailed for me. They're really fun for like three songs.

If you ever get the chance to do one for free and you can just go grab a pair of headphones, toss them on, go do three songs and tell me you didn't have a good time. They're fun for three songs. I'm getting third eye blind, Will, for my dinner hour. I'll ask the question that I've been wondering for a long time. Is, is third eye blind a reference to a butthole? It's either the third eye,

like, like your mind's eye. Yeah. Like, uh, your, but they tell you before yoga, like open up your third eye,

your mind's eye, your mind's eye. Exactly. Or it is your butthole. I think it's your, your, your unbleached butt. He who is unbleached,

Dylan shivery. Okay. Would you ever get the word bleached tattooed on your butt to knock out two bets at once? No, I would not. That's actually a really good idea. Just putting it out there. That would be a really weird, stupid thing to do. I'm just putting it out there.

I know you want us to forget that you owe me a tattoo, but I'm not going to forget. Hey, dude, let's get Vegas tattooed. No, no, no. Yes, yes, yes. Listen, Will last night, we've got some stuff cooking up for Black Friday, some merch. Will was saying that there is a certain mascot. I'll just say it, Dippy. He's a big Dippy guy.

No one responded to my text, by the way. I was responding. I was pumping my fist watching Curb. Him, Dylan, I will give you the opportunity. You could get Dippy. I will count all bets paid if you get dippy tattooed on your backside will has to verify like to validate this will has to say he cosigns because he's obviously i would cosign dippy i i don't know why but i love dippy that'll that'll wipe my slate clean yeah you have to get my entire. The chip with queso on his head. You have to get Dippy tattooed on your butt.

He's got the gloves on. That'll wipe my shit clean? Is that what you're saying? Yeah, I guess. Can you not phrase it like that? There's different ways to say things. You know what I'm saying. Yes, but. Yes.

Yeah. Okay. Dude, Dippy's goaded. Dude. Dippy is so good. let me think about it okay i know i love dippy do you because you're not willing to get him tattooed permanently on your body for the rest of time sometimes i don't think you're doing it for dippy if you guys want to get tattoos in las vegas i will get a tattoo i will start planning now we need to get reservations at a good place and just get hammered before we go in. Let's get our kids' names. I'll be fine with that.

I can get Fritz on me. Because then the wives can't get mad at us. The kid. Sorry you don't like my kid. Your kid too. I'm thinking. You're going to do it. Okay. I'm running out of real estate on my cheeks, though.

You know, I already have one. One tattoo. Is it because your ass is so flat? Having a tattoo on the other cheek is going to look so stupid. So why don't you get on the same cheek? It really is. If you're ever in a position where you have to wear a G-string or a thong bikini... Well, I won't be.

Then you're in trouble. What if male thongs really come into vogue in the next, like, ten years? Mongs. You're out here at... No, we're not calling them m them – that's a little too close to something else, Dave. Mong? Stop. Stop. I don't know what he's saying.

Tongs? Yeah, tongs. My tong game is stupid right now. Dude, are tongs the goaded kitchen utensil? Absolutely. The amount of stuff that you can use tongs for is insane. You're just picking stuff up. Tong to tong, tong, tong.

Yeah, exactly. And like you can like tossing a salad with tongs, it's just game over. Let me see that tong. Imagine not tossing a salad with tongs. Can't be me. Imagine just tossing a salad without anything. Putting your hands all in there, getting them all greasy. You just wanted to say toss salad.

What are you doing? We're trying to do a podcast. And you're over there, like, you're still thinking about this tattoo. Yeah. Are you Googling Dippy right now, trying to figure out if you actually want to do it? I know what Dippy looks like. I know you don't respect him.

You probably don't. He's a chip with queso on his head. And he's an animated character. Do I respect Dippy? I mean, not really. I mean, why would I? You're a bitch. He's a cartoon chip. You're a real bitch. He's a cartoon chip.

You respect Dippy? Will wanted to do an animated series last night. And actually, I'm on board with it. I don't hate that. I do. I saw a Dippy shirt in the wild last night. I told you that, Dave. I hope you told that nice listener that you don't respect his shirt.

I think Dippy doing sports pics has legs. Dippy doing coke on your ass. He's doing a line. The line leads from your butt. Is it queso? No, no, no. It's a line of Parmesan cheese. The grated stuff.

Like the craft stuff That like you put on Butter noodles When you're like Six years old How will the tattoo artist Depict it as Parmesan and not cocaine

That's up to them They'll put Parmesan In parentheses Underneath it Also it's a scratch and sniff That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard in my life You can't do scratch and sniff

Tattoos unless Technology surpassed me The dumbest thing I've ever heard But I love it Can you imagine if Dylan watched in the studio Every day just wafting Parmesan all over us? Terrible. That would get old pretty quickly, huh?

Parmesan in parentheses, he said. Oh, my gosh. So, yeah, Wyclef Jean flipped that Range Rover CEO on his head. It's time for This Weekend in Fun, baby. Baby. Range Rover CEO on his head. It's time for This Weekend in Fun, baby. Baby. This week, yeah, it's presented by Policy Genius. Let's go.

Start your weekend with a little insurance. There's a lot to be thankful for, like how Policy Genius can check if you're paying too much for home and auto insurance, which you probably are. Mashed potatoes, stuffing, cranberry sauce from a can. There's a lot on your plate this November, but why not let Policy Genius help by looking for lower home and auto insurance rates for you? While your holiday calendar starts filling up, let the folks at Policy Genius get your home and auto insurance shopping done faster than you can say, why do we still do daylight savings time? We've all been wondering. It's never a bad time to find ways to bundle your home and auto insurance and save with Policy Genius. Are your home and auto policies almost up for renewal?

Let Policy Genius look for a lower rate. I'm paying barely anything for car insurance at this point. Yeah, you're killing it. I'm loving it. When I made the switch, I was amazed by how little I could actually pay and how much I was actually saving. Policy Genius is like the gravy of sponsors because... Drizzled on everything. You're only as good as your Policy Genius

much like on Thanksgiving. Your meal is only as good as its gravy. Facts. Big facts. So annoying. They make it easy to compare home and auto insurance in one place. They can even help you find home and auto insurance coverage similar to what you have now but at a lower price. They save customers an average of $1,250 a year over

what they're paying for home and auto insurance. They save new customers an average of $435 per year on auto insurance, and they save new customers an average of $350 per year on home insurance. Their team can handle the paperwork set up for your new policy and switch you over to your current one. It's really amazing. Getting started is easy. First, you just head over to policygenius.com and answer a few quick questions about yourself and your property. Then, PolicyGenius takes it from there. They'll compare rates at America's top insurers from Progressive to Allstate to find your lowest quotes. The PolicyGenius team can look for ways to save you more, including bundling your home and auto policies.

And if they find a better rate than what you're paying now, they'll switch you over for free. Five-finger discount. That's stealing. They're top-notch. Yeah, it feels like you're stealing when you're working with PolicyGenius, Dylan. They're top-notch services. Even earn PolicyGenius thousands of five-star reviews across Trustpilot and Google. So head over to PolicyGenius.com to get started right now.

PolicyGenius, when it comes to insurance, it's nice to get it right. Dylan, what are you doing this weekend? Thank you for asking me, Will. It's very nice of you to wonder what I'm up to. I don't care, but yeah. So I'm contractually obligated to ask you. I'm attending a wedding this weekend. It's a good weekend for a Dorn wedding.

Okay, those are not the lyrics, first of all. Second of all. It's a Dothraki. It's a black tie affair. It's a black tie affair it's a black tie wedding folks i will be tuxed up and looking probably pretty fantastic honestly i'll send y'all pics i'm sure you won't be volume shooting your talks from the gram friday uh there's a dinner plan for it's i don't think it's technically a rehearsal dinner but it's's a dinner for the married couple to be,

and I'm excited about that as well. Where is it? Can I crash it? Tell the people where it is. I actually don't know. Oh, he doesn't want the listeners to show up and ruin it. I straight up don't know. Bae knows.

You want to text Bae, go ahead, but I don't know. I'm actually texting with her right now, so that's convenient. What are y'all saying? What is she saying? That's a long text message. Yeah. I didn't see you typing anything. I'm in trouble.

Oh, okay. On your tux, do you go bow tie? I'm a skinny black tie guy. Oh, wow. Hate that. Neck tie. I know that you're anti-bow tie, but the one time you can wear a bow tie and get away with it is on a tuxedo. I 100% agree.

I just happen to prefer the neck tie. So are you a suspenders guy? Cumberbund? Nothing? Waterbund? Nothing. Stop. Nothing.

Wow. Okay. I used to be anti-cumberbund, and now I'm all in. I think they're sweet. They're kind of dope. How's my gut? Okay. Yeah.

okay yeah um unfortunately parks leaves town um friday for a very long time and i'm gonna be down in the dumps about that i'm gonna go like nine days without seeing my little man i'm not happy last time you were down in the dumps you got a covid test it's true i'm trying to have a serious moment over here. Sorry. No, that was good though. I had to capitalize on it. I saw the opening. I'm pretty sad about it, TBH. So it'd be cool if y'all wanted to hang out

and lift my spirits or something or whatever. I'm going to be out of town. Okay, well. Thanksgiving. Maybe one of my friends will come through for me. But anyway,

what are you guys up to? Me? Go ahead, D-Man. I don't know. Actually, I'm not out of town until like Wednesday. But, man, you guys are going to be shocked when I learn I don't really have any plans. So, the Rolling Stones are in town Saturday and while I don't have a ticket or tickets, I'm on Rolling Stone's watch. If the opportunity presented itself, I would make myself available.

Like if a listener who had really good access and great seats and just kind of like the know on how to park and where to get in and get out, be tactical, I would consider going. I think you should go, David. I'm going. Are you going with Micah? Going with Micah and Pierce. Fuck, that's a... Thanks for the invite.

Fierce group. I literally have invited you and told you to go. I'm looking at tickets right now, Dave. You can get a general admission standing room lawn ticket for $118 right now. Is that where y'all are? Yeah. Catch me on the lawn, dog. Pierce strikes me as a backstage guy. Yeah, I was kind of bummed when are yeah catch me on the lawn dog strikes me as a

backstage guy yeah it's kind of bummed when i heard around the lawn i was like oh pierce is gonna ball out we're gonna be in like the actually i don't know for ga lawn or ga down downtown or pit hard to say get in the pit and try to love someone can you talk so i can stop talking nope i'm just letting you go um yeah i I don't know. Maybe I will go. That sounds fun. When's your wedding, Dylan? Saturday? The one I'm attending or my wedding?

No, like the wedding you're going to. It's Saturday. Okay, so you're out. Which is for the boys. You could not stone with me. No, no. I will be busy all free day. Dude, everybody must get stones.

I'll be so busy that day that I'm boarding Stella. She's spending the night with... You should have just brought her over to our place. I'll watch her. Thanks for the offering now. I didn't know you even had a wedding. I'm sure you could cancel the... You've been a little too quiet about this Tux wedding.

To be honest. I mentioned it, dog. Where's Parks going? He's going to Palm Springs. Fuck. He's going to be... He's flying on a PJ again. Wait, is he hanging out with Hickey?

I don't think so, David. He's doing just That's a Nice Touch series. I love this. Hickey's flying him out private. That's a nice touch. Dude, if that happens, I swear to God, nothing would make me happy. What if they linked? Please go follow or at least look up That's a Nice Touch on TikTok.

It's a very good account. I have a lot of fun watching that one. That's a nice touch. A PJ at six years old? For the second time. This kid. He's almost been on a PJ as much as me. Damn, why didn't he get on Dave and my wave of just writing PJs

with dudes that have been indicted? This fourth grade quarterback sucks. It's the dude DDB. Dude been indicted. This fourth grade quarterback sucks. It's the dude DDV. Dude's indicted. Why are you so focused on this fourth grade quarterback? Would you let him live? He's in fourth grade. I haven't even talked about my weekend yet,

and Dylan's just circling back on fourth grade quarterbacks from an hour ago. You're going to end up on the New York Post, and they're going to be like, this man, this podcaster bullies a fourth grader. Why people are clapping back in an epic fashion. That's my headline writing. I hope his dad beats the shit out of you.

That'd be a good controversy for this media company. We get in a controversy with a fourth grader? Will this guy have a better career than Matty B? Why is this 38-year-old man criticizing a fourth grader so much? Better high school football career, this kid or Matty B? Matty B. Really? Have you seen his highlight tape?

I've seen him get – He breaks them boys off, David. No, he doesn't set the edge. He's snatching ankles all over the field. No. Yeah. Will, tell me I'm wrong. I'm just going to ask Matty B right now.

He's out of position. I'm going to ask Matty B right now if he's better than this guy at football. Oh, no. Leave me out of this. I don't want that smoke at all. I don't want Matty B's whoever reds his account just to flame me. He's a bad boy of private high school football in Georgia. You're going to get ratioed.

He's sitting in homeroom right now looking at my tweet just punching air. Will's like the Joker. Will's been ratioing people so long that he just wants to get ratioed now. He just wants to watch it burn. Dude, I mean, the trashy peas put me into the ground. Why'd they do you like that? I don't know, but I appreciated it. Did you see Sprocket just hit the woe on me?

You deserve that woe. The phone pass challenge? Dude, I don't know. We should have done that. Manchester United's a little too worried about their social media presence and not enough about winning on the field. Look at this. There we go.

Tell us about your weekend. Yeah, stick to football, guys. Wow, dude. This weekend, I have a big Friday night. Sally has a work dinner, so I will be sitting at home. You watching Fritz? I'm going to put the Fritz man down around 7 p.m. I got some TV that I've been keeping in the hopper lately

that Sally's not going to want to watch, so I think I've got to knock that out. Want me to come over and paint that ass red with my new Zilker belt? Yeah, if you want to come over and watch the finale of the Grateful Dead documentary with me, Friday night's primed for that. Can you leave after you put Fritz to sleep? No, I can't leave. He'll be fine.

I get scared walking the dog. What are the chances something happens to him? He'll be good. I don't know, but I'd rather not find out. Okay, fair. I'm at Greenlight Social, and Fritz is just screaming for help. What are the chances something happens to him? I don't know, but I'd rather not find out. Okay. I'm at Greenlight Social, and Fritz is just screaming for help. No, no, no. Way more low-key, like Starbar.

I can go to Deep Eddie. Maybe end up at Rustic. I'll go to Deep Eddie if you want to go to Deep Eddie. That's right down the street. Run into Randy's crew, and Randy's going to be all drunk again. We could probably snake some beers down at Abel's on the Lake. That's close enough, right? I'm available for beers Saturday.

He's not because he's got a black tie wedding. I am early in the day. I'm going to my wedding. Shut up. You're going to be all reserved. What if this is actually Dylan's wedding and he's doing a surprise wedding and we're not invited? Just my new friends. Yeah.

I wouldn't even put it past you at this point. What? You should definitely keep your new friends in a separate ceremony than us. Yeah, I don't want them to see the riffraff that I usually hang out with. You honestly probably... You might want to do two ceremonies. We're the bad boys of friendship. True.

Then Saturday, everyone knows that I'm going to the Rolling Stones concert at COTA. Do we have a parking pass? Yes, we do. It's going to be real easy to get in and out of that, bitch. That's good. That's good. I'm not going to lie. I'm way more excited about this concert than I thought I would be. You should be. It's going to be mid.

Everybody who's seen them in the last 10 years, they always remark, I cannot believe how good they are live at this age. Do you think that in terms of star power when it comes to bands, is there a bigger band out there historically that we could go see right now bigger than the Rolling Stones? Maybe Slipknot.

Outside of Slipknot and the Rolling Stones. I can't think of anyone bigger right now. Worldwide? Yeah, worldwide. What about Mr. Worldwide? Daddy Yankee and Pitbull linked. I'm not saying they're the hottest ticket in town now, but in terms of their catalog and how deep it is,

I don't think you can see a bigger band in the history of the world right now. The Beatles are done. That's true. The Beatles. He was. John Hinckley? The Beatles. I don't know.

He's been let out. No, that's a different. John Hinckley's Reagan. I'm sorry. Right? I don't know. I don't really keep. I don't keep too hard of tabs on famous people that kill other people.

I was a super fan. Yeah, it was an attempt on Ronald Reagan. It says, when you look up John Hinckley Jr., American criminal. He also records music. He's been let out, and he's a singer-songwriter. Good. It's a true story. Good.

You'll love to hear that. Does he have any hits? He's got some good songs. We've got to wrap this podcast up. He's got this one called Death by Woodchipper. It's really good. Really? That's good.

All right. No one wants to go. I've got to leave you. Shut up. I hope everybody has... Did you know that John Hinckley Jr. went to Texas Tech? That makes sense. I'm laughing at painting your ass red with a belt.

Highland Park High School as well. Interesting. Let's come over and just start wailing on you at this thing. Bye. Call you Waylon Jennings. Bye.