Circling Back - Anti-Horny Books & Blew Man Group

Episode Date: September 22, 2021

A local Austin mom goes on an anti-horny rant at a school board meeting, Conor McGregor botched his first pitch at the Cubs game, a Ryder Cup preview that talks about everything but golf, Two Minutes in ‘Paradise,’ and This Weekend in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (16:35) Lake Travis Mom Goes Scorched at School Board Meeting (36:25) Conor McGregor’s First Pitch (49:00) Ryder Cup! (1:01:05) Two Minutes in Paradise (1:07:08) This Weekend in Fun (1:12:52) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (STEAM for 20% off) Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Public Rec: www.publicrec.com/circlingback (BACK for 10% off!) Keeps: www.keeps.com/steam (First Month FREE) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back. Circling Back Podcast presented by Vizzy Hard Seltzer, the only hard seltzer with vitamin C and superfood acerola. My name's Will DeFries. To my left, David Roth. Pretty proud of everybody. It's our first overreaction day of the year. A lot of people would be tempted to pull out the North Face, a Patagonia, a rollback. Randy did pull out a rollback, but he's wearing shorts with it. It's fine.

And what I'm saying here is it's cold front season, and it was nice outside. It's not going to touch 90 here in Central Texas today. But I have not seen anybody overreacting today. Walking in, I didn't see anybody rocking the Gonyas, like I said. So I just want to say congratulations to all of you thank you let me be the first to wish everybody a happy first day of fall symbolically dare i say the weather was crisp it wasn't crisp it was definitely

not crisp it wasn't crisp no it wasn't crisp it was cool it was not crisp it was fucking no crisp crisp needs to be below 55 degrees no No, crisp is cool and dry. Don't mansplain crisp to me right now. I got to say, I do. I love those things. I feel like I understand crisp. Will's lived crisp. Yeah.

Crisp Kringle. Will's lives cold. He's from cold. But to get to cold, you have to have crisp. You can't have cold without that transition. It's a crisp transition. I don't know, man. I'm going crisp.

It was like 62. Nah, bro. If you were getting dressed today. 62? My two. 62 is not crisp. I think it is. Nah.

I think it is, dog. Nah, you're showing your crisp privilege right now. Oh, my God. Tell me you grew up in Central Texas without telling me. What is crisp? Yeah, dude. I'm sure you're going to get really good results. Really, my God. Tell me you grew up in central Texas without telling me. What is crisp? Yeah, dude, I'm sure you're going to get really good results. Really objective answer here. You never know.

Now, if you weren't getting dressed today thinking about, you know, trying to get a fall fit off, then, like, your head wasn't in the right place. I thought about maybe wearing, like, a pullover or something like that, but I knew that it would be a huge mistake the second we left the studio today. What, Dylan? The top result does not do me any favors here. Yeah, what does it say? It describes crisp as, in the winter, it's the 30s.

In the summer, it's 55 to 60. I don't know where that's happening. In 40s in the fall. Okay. So, okay, I'll shut up. Let me say this. Crisp is usually when you will get the phenomenon known as fantastic car weather. Okay.

When you are walking through the parking lot cold on a sunny day, and you get in your car, and it's been baking in there, and you get in, and it's just like getting into a really, really nice, warm sauna. I've described the perfect temperature as warm in the sun, and when you step into the shade, it's a little cool. Like, ooh, I need a light jacket. That's my ideal. Or maybe a shirt that also doubles as a jacket.

Or a shirt that is also a jacket. A jert. What's the shacket landscape looking like this time of year? You don't even want to know. Maybe you do. I mean, I literally asked. I've been checking the scene a little bit, checking the vibes, getting the pulse, seeing how things are going.

And things are moving. I have several options I'm weighing right now. I've been checking the scene a little bit, checking the vibes, getting the pulse, seeing how things are going. And things are moving. I have several options I'm weighing right now. I might get one. I might get two jackets. I don't know. I am going to bust out last year's jacket, of course, here pretty soon. Oh, you're going to run back your jacket?

Are you kidding? Remember when Klein gave you a jacket he didn't want anymore and you threw it away? I didn't throw it away. First of all, it didn't fit. So that's why I didn't keep it. Is it because he's five inches taller than you? True. He's got maybe three quarters.

That one photo, though. Look at the one from the meetup. It's so huge. The one from the meetup. Is Dylan shrinking? You're looking kind of small right now. What are you doing? Have you seen too much of his stuff?

I'm worried that you're shrinking. I'm sitting down. I know, but when KJ sits down, he looks big. Yeah, KJ sits like this. I sit like I'm cool. KJ is such a nice guy that he volunteered. Having bad posture is not cool. No, that's the thing.

KJ volunteered to start slouching more because he knew it was bothering Dylan. We don't deserve KJ. I told him, I was like, dude, do not change your posture. That's on you to change, not him. Honestly, I'm okay with it. It's not like something that keeps me up at night. Oh, KJ looks bigger than I do on camera. I'm okay with it.

Y'all the ones that have the problem with it. No, we don't. I'm just pointing out the fact that he's dwarfing you in every scenario. In fact, I actually love the fact that he looks so much bigger than you. I have no problem with it. Has anyone ever actually changed their posture when they say that they're going to start sitting up straighter? Like, no one's actually changed their posture over the long term.

I had a chiropractor tell me to, like, make sure when I'm driving the back of my head is always against the rest. How uncomfortable is that, though? And then you look like this. I did it the other day for a while, and it was really difficult. My chiropractor said, I got to stop sitting sideways when I drive.

That's got to be tough on your neck. That's what he attributes to your back problem. He said the lumbar is just not there. I was like, sorry, I can't.

I literally cannot stop sitting sideways when I whip. When I drive the whip. But I'll still hit it. I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing. Stop staring at'll still hit it. I'm sorry. I don't know what I'm doing. Stop staring at me like that.

It makes you uncomfortable. What's his problem? Your chiropractor told you to stop sitting sideways both when you're driving your car and when you're hitting the whip. What's wrong with you? You're 37, Dylan. I do grip green, though. You have a wood steering wheel. Actually, I don't.

Yeah? I don't. I'm gripping faux leather. Yeah, me too. Pretty sick, though. I'm out here. Have you seen my steering wheel? I'm out here.

That's your steering wheel. Didn't you get the fuzzy cover? It's a tennis ball. You know, the airwalk shoe? Don't you have a Furby-themed steering wheel. Didn't you get the fuzzy cover? It's a tennis ball. You know the airwalk shoe? Don't you have a Furby-themed steering wheel? No, no. I took the old airwalk tennis ball shoe, and I made it into a steering wheel, so I'm just gripping ball. Dave has fuzzy dice hanging from the mirror.

Sick. Do you guys have a hat sitting on your dashboard? No, my dashboard doesn't lend itself to it. I've tried that move, though though i bet you put a hat there i've been that guy yeah oh you weren't mr uh i drove a bronco in the 90s yeah okay i never drove a bronco i've never had a but you did what'd you have a blazer my first vehicle was a chevy z71 what's your problem with fords found on road dead please fix or repair daily please uh not a ford guy straight detroit muscle dog i don't have anything i would get a ford today

wow happy truck month to all of us to those who observe well we're not trying to impart truck month on people who don't want i am really am. Really? Yeah, I'm a These trucks are so expensive these days, man. Dude, the landscape of Austin is not made for the amount of trucks in Austin. There are some streets in Austin that are four lanes and if you're driving next to a truck, you're pretty much forced to get away

from that truck. And you know why that's never going to change? Because this town is consistently having homes remodeled and under construction and it is just F-250 after F-250. It's so bad. The other day I was behind a truck and I know that

I don't think this person was a construction worker. It was a brand new truck. It had the wheels that were, I don't even know what the phrase would be, the wheels that were just sticking out like three feet from the truck. The amount that they were taking up on the road and the wheels that were, I don't even know what the phrase would be, the wheels that were just sticking out like three feet from the truck. Dooley. Yeah. The weight.

The two in the back? The amount that they were taking up on the road and the fact that they could only drive 17 miles an hour in a 30-mile-per-hour zone, I was like, you need to not have this truck. It's absurd. Like, if you can't drive the speed limit because your truck is too big for the road, then maybe just get a different car. Were their truck nuts maybe dragging a little bit?

Maybe. Slow them down? Yeah, it could have been a lot of weight in the back. They needed a drag reduction system. They needed DRS for their truck nuts. And how it works is the balls just go up. They ascend? Into the innards of the truck.

Right. That just seems like super unnecessary. Then when it's time to stunt, the balls just drop out. Boom, here's my balls. My truck balls. My truck sack. If anyone out's my balls. When it's time to stunt, the balls drop. My truck sack. If anyone out there is trying to give us free tickets to F1 on Sunday, please just hit up anybody.

Yeah, to be clear, we want free ones. Yeah, to be clear, we don't want to pay a dollar for these. These are only for people offering them for free. What's the food situation at F1? I don't know because I arrived about 15 minutes before the race because getting out there is an absolute nightmare. Correct. And so all I got to see was like a craft beer tent before I went in.

I've never been there, full disclosure. You've never been to a concert or anything there? No, nothing. I went to a fish concert there one time. I've driven by it. Oh, dude, I saw a sturgeon there. Honestly, fish is an overrated concert. Who did you go to Phish with?

Good to know. My old roommates. It was a fun time, but if I'm going to go to a jam band, Phish is kind of, they found their way down on the list. Are they mid? No, they're not mid. I still enjoy Phish a little bit. You know who my favorite jam band is?

Sister Hazel. Really? I actually put on a little bit. You know who my favorite jam band is? Sister Hazel. Really? I actually put on a 90s jam band playlist the other day, and I have to say it was a very good decision. Very good decision. Should we just get to the meat of this episode? I kind of want to do some more banter. Dude, it's spooky season.

Tuesday, spooky season. Premier episode of season three of spooky season. Let's fucking ride. Yeah, it's time to ride. Guys, I started vetting the stories yesterday. Because they are rolling in. And if you'd like to roll them in, spooky at washmedia.com or washmedia.com.

Click that spooky season logo. We have a form. You guys heard of these? And I was vetting these stories. And I thought Doran had to bring those back. Did you stop and just let him get to the fucking thing? The form? Yeah. Remember the form?

Well, you know, he did drive a vet in high school. I did. I was pushing a vet. Must be nice. Six-speed. I think it was fun, man. Had the, what do you call it where the top comes off? T-tops?

T-top. Thank you. Is T-tops, that may not be the right word for Corvette. I know like the... Whatever. I don't care. Don't email me, car guy. Email Brad at washmedia.com.

It's like plentyactunderbird type shit. Yeah. Yeah. But it had a T-top. It was sick, dog. Did you get some top in the T? No. No, seriously.

I was vetting the stories. T-top is what English people call morning head. A little T-top. A little T morning head. A little T-top. A little T-top. A little T-top. Fancy a T-top. He missed brunch. He was getting top.

How would a Christopher Walken describe getting top? Okay. That's paywall content. Okay, got some top. Hey, mate, you're a vet. Paywall content. Okay, got some top. No, leave your Christopher Walken impressions behind the paywall, dude. We can't give that to the people from... No, no, as I was saying before I interrupted myself, I was reveting these spooky season stories,

and the first three that I read are all top-tier stories that will all be read on the first one, and they were good. I was up here with just Randy. It was just me and Randy. We were up here doing some stuff, and I had to leave. I was like, dude, I'm a little uncomfortable. I don't like this. Making me my bone chill a little bit.

You were too spooked. Oh, so they were bone-chilling stories, you're saying. I have a question for you. I have a question for you, Dave. We're not only looking for stories from first-hand stories. If anyone has any spooky historical stories about their neighborhood,

the house that they lived in, things like that, also send those in, right? We want it all. Anything that could potentially be scary, I want to know about. Hey, I just noticed something in the studio. What?

These LED lights for the first time. How long have they been there? Don't worry about that. Are they for spooky season? Don't worry about that. Forget about it. Randy, are they for spooky season? No, no, Randy, don't.

Hey, don't worry about that. Randy, are they for spooky season? He's not responding. Good. See, this is Randy. He's a pro. He's frozen. You know what?

We're going to give you all a little bonus. Will, I want you to read this email that I just got 14 hours ago to Spooky. I've not vetted this story. Just read it out loud. I think you're fine. All that I just got 14 hours ago to Spooky. I've not vetted this story. Just read it out loud. I think you're fine. All right. The subject line is spooky. My grandfather once told me a true Texas ghost story.

A busload of Westlake cheerleaders are heading back from a game on the back roads from San Antonio. And as the bus runs into a donkey, a cheerleader flies out of the window and collides with the donkey. The donkey lady was formed. Donkey lady is horrifying. She screams, and asks for Dylan's number all over Texas

hill country, terrifying children. Is that a real story? That's a guy who just sent us that. The donkey lady. They'll be better than that. Is she part of the honky tontonk badonkadonk? What font is this? I don't know.

He wrote this on, like, a Mac from 1991. That's exactly what that is. You know the Texas Chainsaw Massacre occurred, like, five miles up the road? Really? That happened in Texas? It did actually happen. It's called the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Save it for spooky season.

We've actually done that on Spooky Season. Yeah. You probably don't remember. No, I do. Because you're probably looking at your phone like an asshole. I think the original story, there wasn't actually a chainsaw involved. Did it skin your ass raw? But there is legit origin to the story.

Like, it's based on some shit that went down. Some people got got. If you can't tell, Spooky Season is our favorite time of year. Patreon.com slash Circling Back Podcast. You can also just go over to itspodcastweek.com. Go sign up. As little as $5 a month. Enjoy.

The vibes are just right right now. Like, this time of year was spooky and the weather. It's just all-time vibes. It's it. Go follow Circling Back Pod on Wash Media on the Grom. Add me on the Grom. Leave a review and five-star rating. We'll read it on Monday's episode.

Tell a friend about the podcast. And as always, support Randy. Go to youtube.com slash wash media and watch every single video we put out. If you want to see our beautiful faces talking to the microphones, you can do that. Let's get to our first sponsor this week, Early Bird CBD. This is a recreational hemp product that contains around 2.5 milligrams of natural THC and around 12.5 milligrams of CBD in each gummy.

We love these things. We've actually gotten – I've gotten more positive feedback from these guys than I think I've gotten for, like, any sponsor we've ever had. It's been kind of wild, actually. I've recommended them to several people at IRL in my life, and they all come back to me saying, like, holy shit, why have you been holding off for so long? I got a text message from someone that I will not name,

and it was a photo of them holding some early bird CBD that they had bought somewhere else in Austin. They surely didn't use promo code STEAM to get 20% off of everything. Well, that was dumb. And they said, they're like, wait, Will, the people that just sold me on this were like the biggest fans I've ever seen of a product. What's going on?

Isn't this the guys that you used to live with? And I'm like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, these are my boys. Bay actually recommended them to a friend of hers, and she gave her some feedback yesterday, and she is obsessed. She had some glowing remarks about them, and then she finally said, I track my sleep cycle with an app every night,

and last night was the deepest sleep I've had in weeks. Stuff works. That's just a real account right there, folks. We're changing lives. There are a ton of different use cases for this stuff. Some people like to use them to relax. Some folks use them to pregame a little bit before going out. It gives you a little lift, a little high.

Yeah. A little bit. Not for everybody. Take one, see how it goes. If you don't like to have fun, then probably don't get early bird CBD. It's just got a little microdose of THC. It'll make you feel great without getting too lit. These guys are right out of Austin.

I used to live with them. We used to record out of the studio where this company was actually founded. Think about that. They stopped by while we were recording Too Much Dip on Monday. Didn't even interrupt. They were one of the first ever advertisers of Circling Back. Shouts to all the guys over there.

It's just a great product. Paid us cash. Hey, pro tip though. When you use promo code STEAM, load up your cart. This is a one-time use, folks. And you will be coming back. I guarantee you that. There's 20% off of everything on earlybirdcbd.com. Again, that's earlybirdcbd.com. Use promo

code STEAM and you can get 20% off of everything on the site. Like Dylan said, it's a one-use code, so load up while you have the opportunity to do so. Earlybirdcbd.com. Dave, we've got a story out of a place that's very close to us.

Lake Travis. Dylan, you're familiar with Lake Travis, right? Yeah, I used to live out us. Okay. Lake Travis. Dylan, you're familiar with Lake Travis, right? Yeah, I used to live out there. Some notable Lake Travis alum, Baker Mayfield. Your favorite, Garrett Gilbert. My second favorite, Charlie Brewer, who has recently left the Utah program. Also Hudson Card. Hudson Card. But it's more than just quarterbacks out there, of course.

No, it's moms who have a lot to say which i look i i've never shied away from saying a lot as a parent um but we had this video if you may have seen it because it went viral recently don it's a viral vid of a school board meeting and a former or current school board candidate who's actually been in the news before um went up there to protest a book and i will play the audio now are we queued up and ready to party let's rock we're queued i don't know if you guys have heard this let's just let's just hear her out i'm queued all right well i'm just thankful that y'all don't have the ability to um make a mask mandate and tonight i was going to talk about the need for a second high school, but I was sidetracked by, for the boys,

pussy or the idea of pussy, or the idea of pussy, a Mexican is a Mexican is a Mexican. Take her out back, we boys figured, then hand on the titties. Put it in her coin box, put it in her corn hole, grab a hold of that braid, rub that calico. You can find that on page 39 of the book called Out of Darkness, which you can find at Hudson Bend Middle School and Bee Cave Middle School. All right, not gonna lie, I had to Google cornhole because I have the game in the back of my yard, but according to Wikipedia, cornhole is a sexualist slang vulgarism for anus.

The term came into use in the 1910s in the United States as verb form to cornhole, which came into usage in the 1930s, means to have anal sex. I do not want my children to learn about anal sex in middle school. I've never had anal sex. I don't want to have anal sex. I don't want my never had anal sex. I don't want to have anal sex. I don't want my kids having anal sex. I want you to start focusing on education and not public health.

Stone, you're on. Education, no anal. She caught that mute button. She got Dylan'd. This is somebody's mom. She's not pleased with the fact that Out of Darkness is in the library, I guess? If you're wondering, if you're at home and you're wondering, what about Out of Darkness? Well, it's a 2015 historical young adult novel by Ashley Hope Perez.

The novel chronicles a love affair between a teenage Mexican-American girl and a teenage African-American boy in the 1930s New London, Texas, occurring right up to the 1937 New London school explosion. Dude, shouts to Naomi Vargas, the main character of the book. And, update, the book has been pulled for review by the school. So this was just a book. Mission accomplished. This was a book available in the library? Correct. Or this was like part of the curriculum?

No, no, no. It was just a book in the library. I don't think it was part of the curriculum. I feel like that would have been one of her talking points. Okay, yeah. How did she find this? I don't know. What's her name?

Kara? I believe it's Kara Hall. Dear parents, if you have... Kara Bell, excuse me. If you pull some shit like this, if you go very public about something that you feel strongly about, your kids still have to go to school yeah and they're they're gonna find the kids that your kids go to school if they're gonna find out about this kind of shit it's gonna be pretty tough

on them because you just humiliated the entire family what i'm gonna say to her is something that you know i think needs to be said and she just needs to be happy that her kids are fucking reading great point like what page was that on i don't i don't know she said 39 like that's further than any book that i got into in high school ever yeah when it's a love affair and all that shit's going on you're gonna you're gonna read on a little bit see what's going on see what's popping like where her kids like talking about like this funny like i mean maybe it's not funny but like this inappropriate part of the book where anal sex occurred and then she overheard it. Like, how did she even discover this?

And then why was she so enraged by this? You think your kids, you think your high school kids don't know about anal sex? She probably was embarrassed that she and her family had been out back playing cornhole this whole time and like probably posting about it on Facebook. And like the whole time she didn't realize that it is a euphemism. She's like, my friends on Facebook think that every time I have people over to play cornhole that they're doing me. Yeah, and if your kid's going to may or may not engage in anal sex one day, it's not going to be because of a book they read. Was this middle school?

How old are their kids? They're young. Middle school. Let me say this. What your kids choose to do in the future when they're consenting adults behind closed doors is their business. But thanks for letting us know that you have never had anal sex. Yeah. Weird flex.

Yeah. The chef's kiss on this entire thing, as I alluded to, is that this is the same mom who, back in April, was arrested for assaulting an employee at a Nordstrom rack. was arrested for assaulting an employee at a Nordstrom rack. I think it's actually the one off Brody in Sunset Valley over their mask policy. So presumably an anti-mask person. She's the Karen of all Karens. She's the Queen Karen. Some say she cares a little too much.

She'd be caring. She'd be caring about what that butt do in the book. What does that butt do? If you're the kids in this scenario, if your mom is around anybody in public at this point, you're just putting your face just deep into your hand. Her kids have to be absolutely mortified by this point. They're finally getting over the assault on the Nordstrom Rack employee.

Nordstrom Rack. That's embarrassing enough. That takes a couple months to recover from. The fact that that happened in April, you're like, oh, thank God I have the summer to not have to go see my friends. This video goes viral. Is there any embarrassment that it was a Nordstrom Rack? Which obviously

is not as nice as Nordstrom, but you can still find good stuff there. I'm not above it. Where the kid's like, oh man, I wish it wasn't rack. I wish it was a regular Nordy. Oh, she couldn't have gone just like down to the mall. It's like a couple miles down the street. Raised hell down there.

You just, lady, you can't be screaming. If you're screaming into a microphone at a PTA meeting or whatever it is. School board. School board meeting. And they mute you. You get muted. And you're just screaming about not having anal sex. It's like, how are you not self-aware enough at that point to understand that you're doing something stupid?

If you're going to be a Karen, you have to do it on the low and not let people know that you're towing their cars and shit, you know? You know, I have a different perspective, and I'm sure you do as well, Will. We both are fathers now. Dylan, you've been one for a while. But ours is new. It's fresh. So I'm wondering, like, do you watch these stories or see these stories and think, like, you know what? Let me think how I would react if I was a parent and I stumbled upon a book doing some cornhole jokes that my kid, my fifth grade or sixth grade kid might read.

I mean, at worst, I would send an email. Like, hey, maybe we shouldn't have this in schools. You wouldn't make it about you? No. I mean, look, there's a lot that can be said about public education. It's not perfect, and it probably deserves some criticism on several fronts. Well, go ahead. We've got time.

This is a very minor. This is your podcast. You can talk about anything you want. This is a book in the library that your kid checked out, by the way. You know what? I'll say this, Dylan. I agree with her that we should be educating. I'll just say it. library that you let your kid checked out by the way you know what i'll say this dylan i i agree with her that we should be educating i'll just say it i'm not afraid to say it look it's important

sometimes the worst people you know make great points would this woman have a heart attack if she saw the internet history of her kids that's the that's a great point they have the internet like her brain would literally explode if she saw what her kids are looking at on the internet like we would just go go to over to our friend's house and then like set my friend our friend's home page at the most inappropriate oh yeah i think we could possibly find it was like oh you got lemon partied again sorry bud tough don't look up lemon party what's up with that you're looking it up i'm just seeing if it still exists. What's up with the Lemon Party? Oh, no, don't. It's like a virus.

I don't know if it's a virus. I was more of a meat spin guy. Yeah, meat spin was also in the rotation. Meat spin was pretty much the go-to. Yeah, because back in the day, you would just go online and go into an AOL chat room and then just tank your buddy's stock on AOL chat rooms with his username if he was in the other room, maybe playing a video game or something build up a relationship with somebody that was probably like a creepy old guy pretending to be a girl no okay that's what you do that's what you do as part of the game uh

no I would love she would have hated raising me that's all I'll say like she would have walked in and I would have been about 30 minutes into downloading one single Kelly Kapowski photo from her photo shoot with whatever magazine that was. And she would have just lost it. This mom should be just glad that her kids are trying to read 400-page books. Because if I was doing a book report back in the day, if I was between the ages of 14 and 18 who this book is made for, I'm looking for books in the library that are as thin as humanly possible. I am towing the line of the limit. If the teacher says, like, no, it needs to be between 150 and, you know, over 150 pages, I'm finding a 151-page book in that library.

I'm doing my fifth straight book report on enough mice and men. This just reminds me of health class and getting to, the sex ed part of it it was so much fun they used to do a thing for us where they would have a anonymous place where you could ask questions oh we had that and like the questions that would come out of that it was just people doing bits like dave would have been all time in that writing down questions oh yeah we would write questions down on a piece of paper and just drop them in like a bucket at the end of the class and the next class the teacher would go through all of them and just answer every question. We did that at Grand X for a time.

Remember we had the question portal? Yeah. It was a portal. It might have been a form, Dylan. I had a very pointless complaint in that portal the day before one of the big layoffs. Oh, God. What was it? I complained about the snacks.

Yeah, I remember that. And then the next day, people lost their livelihoods. The snacks are mid. Well, dude, our snacks in our building were so much inferior to the other two buildings. And I was like, this seems weird. I feel like we're just getting screwed over here. No rich crackers. Well, and if we had beef jerky, we ended up not getting beef jerky because I was told by somebody that Dan eats it too fast and we aren't allowed to have beef jerky anymore.

That was the actual reason for it but someone was like no dan would just clean it out yeah they're like keep it in stock they were like oh i'm plowing through it he'd be like oh i have lunch today like here's my lunch it's already paid for he was just dipping beef turkey and guacamole i wonder if uh this this young lady's issue with the book was really that or the fact that this book per this review stares unflinchingly at racism, classism, segregation, and the people who live on the margins of society. Maybe she was not really into the theme of the book.

I don't know. I'm just throwing out theories. And she's just looking for a reason to get mad about it. This book sounds real as hell, honestly. I think I'm going to read Out of the Darkness this weekend. You want to do a book report? Let's do a book report. Should we each do a book report?

That should be a punishment for somebody in your fantasy league. They have to do a book report. That should be a punishment for somebody in your fantasy league. They have to do a book report. Dude, book reports are the worst. I'll do a book on tape. Spark Notes used to cost a lot of money in order to do. Really? Yes. You had to have a subscription.

I used to find them somehow. I don't remember. I used to go to the site and you could find the first chapter of it, and then I would just base my entire book report off the first chapter of free spark notes that I could find. That sounds weirdly familiar. God, that's sad. I'm sorry. No English teacher has read every book that the people are doing the book report on.

So if you're like in middle school and you're listening to this podcast right now, first of all, thank you for your patronage. Second of all, like just find the the most obscure book you can find. The teacher never fucking read it. Just picturing a middle schooler listening to our podcast. Just vibing. Straight vibing in the computer lab right now. Like, yep, it is Chris Bouts. If my niece or nephew is listening to this,

this is satire. So don't take it as gospel or whatever. Just to anybody, please don't take this podcast as gospel it's a bit we like to have fun shouts to lake travis mom i'm gonna go what i'm gonna go post up at nordstrom rack and kick her out if she tries to approach i bet she's the husband doing it like he's gotta rein her in man i mean he's gonna like, he's got to rein her in, man. I mean, he's got to just talk. He's got to talk to her. Having no idea about whether or not she's married or what the situation is, you got to think there might be some, like, low-key cuck vibes.

I just don't think that, like, you have to think of your kids in this situation. You're not protecting your kids by going and complaining about anal sex at a school board meeting. You're opening them up to much more criticism, bullying and other stuff like that. Like you just got to chill. Why do you have to have this conversation? Why can't you just go straight to the librarian and be like, Hey,

like, is there any way that like, you can not let my kids take this book out? She's taking it straight to the top. Like there's probably not like the school superintendents. Like that's kind of your move. No, they shouldn't have taught us that word. That's a word that we should have never seen.

Fancy some T-top. Harry Potter. Harry Topper. What? That's not a thing. No, I can guarantee without searching it on my computer that Harry Topper is definitely a thing somewhere on the internet. Yeah, somebody named Harry is giving top.

Will used to want us to call him Harry Blogger. I wanted Harry Copper. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We hadn't done that in a while. You'll see these Yeezy Knits. Yeezy Knit R&R.

Yeah, I thought I made a great joke in the group, but apparently it wasn't that great. What was your joke? knit R&R. Yeah, I thought I made a great joke in the group, but apparently it wasn't that great. What was your joke? I said when you... Would you have to go wait in Matt Damon's apartment because you have to assassinate

him for being a bad dirty cop. Reference to the movie The Departed. Popular movie, often on TV. Good movie. No one makes it that far.

You're right. There was a time where I had never seen it all the way through, and I had just seen multiple 30-minute increments of it. No one makes it that far when it's on TV. It is a good movie. It's not a great movie. What's the young lady's name? The love interest of Leo?

It's been a while. I don't know. She's very beautiful to me, though. Yeah, I was going to say, she's very beautiful to me as well. These shoes, though. What? Why do people do it? Why is the size of the shoe on the outside of the shoe?

Right. Small feet. Just put it on the bottom or on the sole. What do you do? The size is like six and a half. You wear 13s, but you're sized like six and a halves you wear 13s but you're actually a ten and a half because you want people

to think that you're that's right yeah yeah weirdo I'm not getting these I'm not copying by the way

Will I'm hearing the bell thing now dude there's something going on I didn't hear no bell dude there's something going on in the office. This morning before everyone came in, I was sitting here, and there was like a bell ringing, and it sounded like an old-fashioned way of warning people that something wrong is happening.

It's the dinner bell. The bell tolls for thee. Come on, dinner's ready. We need to bring the dinner bell back. No, we don't. It's obnoxious. Just say, hey, dinner's ready. Does need to bring the dinner bell back. No, we don't. It's obnoxious. Just say, hey, dinner's ready. Does the same thing.

Hurts nobody. A bell. What if they're out in the farm bailing hay? Well, when you get a farm and Alyssa's out in the field bailing hay and it's dinner time, then you can alert her with a bell. Bail and bay. Or you could text her because she'll probably have a phone too. No, man.

We're so country, we don't even do phones. Not when we're working out in the field. Clearing brush and things of that nature. You do that a lot. Yeah. My ranch out in Crawford. Really? Yeah. That's where W's ranch is. What if they still have it

props it keeps a low pro for the most part again this podcast is satire yeah we like to have fun I'm having fun you know what's ridiculous tell us man

that our sizes change brand to brand when our bodies stay the same you ever think about that you're a measurement not a size Tell us, man. That our sizes change brand to brand when our bodies stay the same. You ever think about that? You're a measurement, not a size. You don't have to change, and shopping for clothes does. It makes no sense to me. We all settle for traditional retail sizes, but why? Why?

What does a medium person look like? Can you tell me what a medium person looks like? Probably me. How can two people wear a medium when they're different heights? Pants are made to fit one type of body, and everyone else has to settle for a less than perfect fit. Why is this a dramatic reading? No one wants to take their athleisure wear to a tailor.

This is Will talking to the school board. When you're spending that much money on performance wear, it should fit. Wow, dude. That's why we're talking about Public Rec, baby. Yeah, let's go. Oh, they're out here. You have to go check out Public Rec. They make elevated athleisure wear in multidimensional sizes because they believe that comfort starts with a better fit.

It's jogger season. Dude, it's always jogger season, player. Well, not always. They have their all-day, every day. Not that it's crisp outside. It's jogger season. No. You know their all-day, every-day pant is available in 40 different sizing combinations

and they can fit men anywhere from 5'8 to nearly 7 feet tall. Oh, you're a 7' king out there? Major shouts to you up in Alaska, player. Or maybe you're in Canada and you want to dunk on Dylan. Prove that he can't score any points. Oh, is he Canadian? Maybe you're a 5'8 gymnast and you can still throw down because you can do the tumble thing like we were talking about.

4'7. I mean, we've all spent so much time at home just wearing these athleisure clothes and I don't think anything's changing. I think the world's getting a little more casual. And I think that's why you need to get something that fits like some joggers but looks clean and crisp like a pair of chinos. Crisp. Yeah.

Like the weather. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Public Rec spent years engineering the perfect blend of softness, stretch, and durability. It's all the performance benefits you love with the added style for more formal occasions. They even have zipper pockets, so no more having to hold onto your phone or wallet or have it fall out when you're getting in your car or something. Is there anything worse than when you get in your car and your phone's in your pocket

and it falls between the seat and the door? Oh, no man's land. That phone's gone. It's the car's phone. And then you're getting out of the car, you're walking around the car to the back seat, you're pushing the seat up and you're hoping that the phone is underneath the seat and not getting crushed by the mechanism. Might as well get a new phone.

I just get a new car. I don't know if that's the move. Phones are really expensive these days. I think the newest iPhone is like $1,200. Dave just said he gets a new car on that. You leave your phone in the car. I do. So now you don't have a phone, and you got rid of your old car.

That phone's gone. Done. Dave, then I need to highly recommend to you that you can save a lot of money by simply purchasing Public Rec pants. A lot of money. Nine different colors. They also make elevated shorts, t-shirts, polos, jackets, even golf gear. Shots of golf. They just launched their

women's line, so now anyone listening can enjoy Public Rec's better-fitting comfort. These are always the top choice in our rotation. These pants fit incredibly well. They're not sloppy. They're just sharp. Comfy. They rarely discount. You wear that?

Perfectly fitting. I'm wearing them right now. But right now, they have an exclusive offer just for Circling Back listeners. Go to publicrec.com and use promo code BACK to receive 10% off. That's publicrec.com and use promo code BACK for 10% off. Okay, we're not doing that. No, we're going to have to redo the read now. That single clip alone makes me feel bad for Sam Ellinger.

We're back. He's in the league. He's getting paid, kind of. That's actually a good transition to our sports segment that we're doing right now. Okay. It's called Too Much Drip. Oh. It's not really called Too Much Drip.

Do we have this? So, Conor McGregor, you guys familiar with this guy? UFC fighter. Also boxer. Also boxer. Also, he's... Also just shithead. He's a whiskey guy just like you. He's my little whiskey boy. He threw out a first

pitch last night. Where was this? Baseball game. This was at the Rocket City Trash Pandas game. Was it? I don't think that's right. No, their season's over, man. That doesn't sound right at all. Rest in peace to their season.

I stay repping. Dylan has been certified repping the Rocket City Trash Pandas almost every day. It's a great hat. Cubs game. Cubbies. We've been to Wrigley. No one talks about it, but we've been there. I mean, we talk about it once in a while. It's a really good meetup. I really want to great hat. Cubs game. Cubbies. We've been to Wrigley. No one talks about it, but we've been there. I mean, we talk about it once in a while.

It's a really good meetup. I really want to go to another Cubs game. Yeah, they're fun. No, that's my favorite place to watch the game. You ever sit in the bleachers, man? Do Wrigleyville? No, we were in the shade. It was kind of dope.

Yeah, we actually had prime seats. That was crisp. That was a crisp weekend. Shout out to our friend who goes to the Blue Man Group and the Boo Man Group. If our tickets for the game were that good, can you imagine how good our tickets would have been had we taken him up on the Blue Man Group tickets that he offered us? Dude, we would have been backstage with the Blue Man Group. They probably would have brought us out there and played a beat on our backs.

We would have been banging on those drums, man. They would have used my tight little ass as a gong. What are you doing? Your fucking abs is a xylophone. What are you doing? Your fucking abs is a xylophone. What are you doing? Dude, Dave just laughed at his own joke.

That's a very rare thing. Dave, can we clean shave your head and make you into a blue man for Halloween? Please. Please let us do it, dude. We can put a shower cap on.

Hey, I'd let you do it, but I'm worried it wouldn't grow back. I'm worried, man. We'll shower cap you and then paint you. Let us paint you. What's the significance of the shower cap?

I'm still going to have the hair. It's not a shower cap, but like, you know, like in the movies, we make them look bald. Yeah, like the creepy. I don't know what else to call it. No, I know. It's the swimmer's cap. Dave never caps, though. Call it the flesh cap, Dylan.

Can we flesh cap you and then paint you blue, please? So I just feel like we'd have to get really expensive paint. Otherwise, I'm going to get it everywhere. Like on my lappy, when I touch Will. We can make room in the budget for some Blue Man Group paint. I would love to see just a photo of the aftermath of the studio after Dave comes in dressed as a Blue Man Group member. It's just blue everywhere.

What if we came in here one day and we were all dressed as a Blue Man Group? We did a podcast and didn't say a word about it. I said we should do that. I wanted to do that last year for spooky season. As blue man group? Remember this? I gave you this idea. It was probably just embedded in my brain.

I wanted to do it and not say anything about it and have only people that watched the video on Patreon be like, wait, how did they not confront the fact that they were all dressed as the blue man group? I've been working on a new laugh, diabolical laugh for spooky season you ready that's pretty good dude hold on do you mind if i just clip that and put it on the soundboard do you listen this one might be better how's that that wasn't bad now you do one ha oh are you serious? That one sucked, honestly. Yeah, that's not spooky at all. Our office neighbors hate us right now. I'm spooked. That was spooky.

Why did you do Adam Sandler? He's not spooky. How do we know? That story was a spooky story. The story was pretty spooky. Ghosts and not things of the other worlds. So, yeah, Conor's first pitch didn't go as he planned. I think he did this on purpose.

Do you think? Yeah. Do you think people bought their first pitch on purpose so they get more notoriety? Well, just look at it. Okay, if you look at the 50 one, the 50-cent one, it clearly just slips out of the side of his hand, right? Yeah.

His was notoriously awful. Worst of all time. Woated. Conor, though, he just threw it out there, man. Nothing slipped. He didn't hang on to it too long accidentally. He just threw it. Please keep in mind where Connor comes from.

Ireland. The only thing that he might have experience in is cricket. I'm going to venture to say he does not have experience in cricket. Exactly. He's a fighter. He's a fighter. He's got a real problem when he does these. There's a video of him before a cowboy game

Trying to throw a football And he just like He like shot puts it Yeah And the problem with both of these is He's wearing a very tight fitting suit Yes And you don't have full range of motion in a suit jacket

Certainly not Anybody who's ever gotten in a brawl while wearing a suit knows that That's why when you throw hands You pop that coat off And you get all loose I just cut the sleeves off Okay Can I put something out there? Will Vineyard Vine style wearing a suit knows that. That's why when you throw hands, you pop that coat off and you get all loose. I just cut the sleeves off. Okay.

Can I put something out there? Will Vineyard Vine style. Sorry about your blazer, dog. It's a callback. Better ask daddy for a new one. Let me get this straight. When you're wearing a suit and you get in a fight and you take the time

to cut your sleeves off. Hey, man. You ruin your coat. It's a rumble, baby. You should just take it off next time, honestly. Look, I'm not going to go jack it off. I'm going to just cut the sleeves off. You're going to wash. Chill, dude. off next time honestly look i'm not gonna go jack it off i'm gonna just chill dude oh my god i'm not taking my jacket off oh you're in the 40s yeah

it is a fight i'm not jacking it off can i can i put something out there just let's say this is a hypothetical scenario let's say hypothetically we're building a relationship with a baseball team let's just say just for practicality it's a minor league baseball team. Let's just say, just for practicality, it's a minor league baseball team and not a major league one. Ooh, it'd be cool if it was like the Angels or something like that. Yeah, like their minor league affiliate or something like that. So say that we build that relationship up to the point where, I don't know, we get to throw out a first pitch.

What does my mentality need to be throwing that first pitch? How do I figure this out? Just get it over the plate. You don't want to bounce it in. Don't hop it in. Yeah, don't skip it in. I know. So if I'm throwing out the first pitch somewhere,

my goal is to prove everyone wrong and to prove that I can throw a good first pitch. But I'm not going to do it not from the mound. I'm going to request that I got to do it from the mound because I don't want to be the guy that stands in front of it on the grass. Oh, like when they rolled out, like out the now-departed George Bush Sr. to throw out a first pitch at an Astros game?

Yeah, that didn't work. Okay, but his son threw out maybe the best of all time. Yeah, that's fair. He went down to the batting cages, old Yankee Stadium, and he warmed up in there. And then he was talking about it with Derek. There's a really cool video to accompany this. But Derek Jeter's like, you've got to throw it from the mound. Yeah, you have to.

Or they're going to boo you. Like, you're the president. And he threw an absolute dart up there. Yeah. It was perfect. And that's what I would want to do. Like, I think if I knew that I was throwing out a first pitch, I think I would train for it for like a week in advance.

Oh, yeah. You have to. I mean, I wouldn't go out every day. But I would at least put in an hour of work from a mound at like a local stadium just to make sure that I wasn't going to go on TV and look like an absolute idiot. Do people give him a little too much credit for getting it over the plate? No. Because, like, honestly, if I'm in the batter's box, I'm pissing on that thing.

Yeah. True. That thing's going 450 left field. He did that about 62 miles per hour right down the – That might be optimistic. I don't know if 62 is – I don't know if he touched 62. And to his credit, he did have the bulletproof vest on. Yeah.

But I'm just saying, if that's me, that's, ooh, meatball. He hit him with the FDNY Vineyard Vines looking Shep shirt. There's no way Vineyard Vines is around in 01. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe. It looks like their sweatshirt that they make. But I want to throw out a first pitch real bad.

I'm not going to lie. I think it would be so fun. I would love to do it as long as the team that I'm doing it for provides room and board and also my flight and also uh just pretty much picks up our bar tab the entire weekend wow i'm kidding i don't know if minor league clubs have that kind of i'm kidding i'm kidding i would i would do it for free i will take a road trip we'll take uh dylan's f350 have y'all ever been at a at a game where they actually have someone like legit throwing out a good first pitch?

Yeah. We used to go to opening day Rangers every year. I don't remember. Have you ever seen a president throw out one? I think W did in like 08, 09. It's the first game of the season. Doesn't he always throw? Don't they always have a sitting president throw one? After W was out of office and moved back to Dallas,

he did the first pitch one year. You know, he signed off on trading Sammy Sosa. One of his biggest regrets. Trump throws first pitches, huh? I can think of some bigger ones he might have. Right, yeah. Trump would throw a first pitch and immediately be like, yeah, Biden couldn't fucking do that. He literally, that video.

He's like, if Biden was out there, I'd be throwing out his head. Did he really, did Trump throw out a first pitch? Yes, I'm watching the video right now. Not only did he throw out a first pitch, but he landed his helicopter in the outfield before he did it. Is this pre-president? Dude, okay, I'm watching his first pitch. Oh, he fired it in there.

Chill out, Trump. He didn't even give it a second before he got up on the he towed the slab and just hummed one in there. Towed the slab. Oh, he bounced it. Can't bounce it. Can't bounce it, dude. Obama, of course, big White Sox guy, Randy, threw out a few in his day. Were his notable?

I don't remember. People saying that this is worse than 50 cents, they're wrong. No, it's comparable, but it's not worse. At least he has velocity on it. It didn't slip. Oh, yeah, Fitties was bad. I can he has velocity on it. It didn't slip. Oh, yeah. Fitties was bad. I can deal with lack of accuracy.

We can work on that. His technique's not terrible. I've been over here watching it in slow-mo because this is what I do for a living, I guess. Throwing out a first pitch might be perfect for me because that's as far as I can throw it. Oh. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah.

Oh, no. What if they were like, you can do do it but you have to throw this vortex from the outfield it's bird dogs vortex if you're the trash pandas and you want us to throw out a first pitch we are only throwing bird dogs vortexes to the catcher i might throw it out the stadium like john elwes i know i'm a zaddy you're zad a zaddy. I'm also out here. Okay. You're doing a lot? I'm also doing a lot. Can I mention something?

Go ahead. It's your podcast. Mention it. Did I show you guys my issue with Spotify? What? What'd they do? My Daily Mix 1. Oh, yeah.

I meant to touch on this. How did Matty B get in there? What do you mean, how did maddie b get in there what do you mean how did i wanted to i wanted to just go ready let me just give you this first song on daily mix one i'm listening to this at the gym flashing lights kanye good song right we know lemonhead featuring 42 doug tyler the creator bougie featuring mcm Mill. Meek Mill. Not Meek Mill. Meek. Yeah. Lil Dirk. That's Lil Dirk. Everybody knows that.

Next song, Live For Today, Maddie B. Ratz. Can you actually click on that and let us know how that sounds? But is it not a

banger? No, we don't have that technology. Can you imagine if we got our podcast taken off Apple Podcasts because we gave

people a little taste of Maddie B's? That's what took us down? Yeah, it's like we infringe on the copyright and they just kick us off. That would suck.

Is it heat though, Dave? I need to know. Yeah, how much weight did you put up when Maddie B came on? I'm not kidding. I was like, what am I listening to? He's a bad boy of rap. What are you talking about? Well, he's a bad boy for a lot of reasons.

Let's just, let's... Okay. I'm not in. This sounds like a B.O.B. song. Where comes that beat? Here it comes. Here comes that beat. It's going to hop in.

When's it going to drop? Is it going to drop? It's going to drop in the next five there it is oh that shit was hard dude let's go why is that on there i've obviously looked up maddie b before as a bit as a bit only and they somehow put it in a daily mix one um additionally got some other ones got some little scrappy got got little baby and then we've got uh let's see mariah carey we belong together mariah always hits i like mariah but not that i don't need that on daily mix one

i like mariah when it's christmas music all right all right she might be go to like christmas music honestly my sister got butterfly in 97 and i remember sneaking that into my uh my cd player oh yeah once in a while did you pop out the little book and no comment into your room no comment read the lyrics i was missing her like an oz that was with mandy moore lyric never mind damn dude like candy you were gonna say like candy that song was kind of tight mandy moore was great yeah now she's on this is us that show stinks that seems like a will show don't know that one dude i gave it the first season but they they fake killed one of the guys in the show so

many times and i was like all right like just kill the guy already. We know he dies. Just do it. Damn. Then I got to the season finale. I think it was the season finale. It felt like one, and they almost killed him, and they're like, oh, not yet. I was like, okay, what are we doing here? This is us stinks.

I got some fake kill in high school. Really? Bought it from that dude, Nick. Shouts to Nick. It was a dime bag. Fake kill. It was pencil shavings and oregano. I'm fairly confident

He still smoked it though I bet Absolutely Can we talk about the Ryder Cup real quick? Okay Absolutely Ryder Cup's this weekend Are you guys excited for it? Yeah you know

I don't think Dylan's going to watch any of it You're not going to see any of this Because you're going to be in California the entire time Honestly you're probably right I was on the entire time. Honestly, you're probably right. I was on vacation one time for a Ryder Cup, and luckily for me, it was a European Ryder Cup, which allowed me to just wake up early every day and just crush it, and then we were done by noon. I kind of prefer the Euro Ryder Cup. I do too.

I like having that option of getting up a little early, especially now with the kid. Yeah. I'm going to get up early regardless. I also like being the away team. I think it's fun. Underdogs. I mean, I get up early regardless. I also like being the away team. Like, I think it's fun. Underdogs. Mm-hmm. I mean, we're definitely not underdogs this year, right?

I think technically we're the favorites, but I think we've lost, what, nine out of the last ten? Swag. It's been ugly. Bad boy shit. It's been very ugly, yeah. Yeah, it's fun to, as one team you see plays and wins on their territory. Of course, it doesn't happen very often. Hey, at least we have really good team vibes going on right now.

At least there's no turmoil within the USA team. How did we let Bryson DeChambeau and Brooks Koepka become the faces of American golf, Team USA? Like, how did this happen? Because they're two of the best players in the world. Because they mash, dude. But they are just such douchebags. They mash.

What do you guys make of the video? I can't let that stand. One is a douchebag, one is a tool. Yeah, they're both chachas. That's fair. Just to be clear, who do you have as who? Brooks is a douche. And to be fair, I'm friends with many douchebags.

I'm arguably a douche myself. But Brooks is a tool. True. He does douchey things, but he's more tool than douche. No, Bryson's the tool. That's what I'm saying. Oh, excuse me. Yeah, Bryson is the major tool.

That is the correct take, Dave. Brooks is not a tool. Is this our new segment, douchebag or tool? Yeah. They're so clear-cut with these guys. Oh! Oh! What do you make of Brooks approaching Bryson yesterday on the driving range?

You love to see it, man. Sure. He didn't know the cameras were there or anything. Yeah. Did people really think that they were just going to not talk to each other this entire week? I mean, based on what Brooks said ahead of this, like maybe? Because he was just out on the team aspect of the Ryder Cup?

Guys, they've been there for a minute. This isn't the first time they've spoken while they're over there, like on the range in front of cameras. Like this is – calm down. They need to just get in a kiss fight and end this. Can you imagine if they hooked up at Whistling Straits? I cannot. Do you think they're going to get paired together?

They said Bryson said something in his interview, in his press conference, that alluded to something else happening, something else they, quote, had planned. Do you think there's any way they get paired together? No. I saw Nolana saying that it's probably, they've already announced it in some capacity, the match.

They're going to do a match against each other. Wow. So something that really no one ever cares about. I can't wait to not watch that. I won't pay money for that. I watched the last one, but it wasn't because I was like – it wasn't appointment television for me. It was that we were sitting around and had nothing else to do. And it's like, well, let's just put the match on in the background and pay attention to it.

Who's winning the match? My T-top before the match. to it. Who's winning the match? Oh, my T-top before the match. In terms of if we lumped in the Ryder Cup with every major, where would you put the Ryder Cup in the excitement that you have going into it versus other majors? It goes for me. For me personally.

Masters. Okay. Ooh. Open championship. Yes. Ooh, Open Championship. Yes. That's the take. Ooh. He's struggling, folks. Ooh, this is controversial.

Ryder Cup, then U.S. Open, then PGA. That is my exact list, David. We are just in sync today. That's the only list. A lot of it's course-specific, but yeah. Dude, the Ryder Cup is... I don't know, man. I guess the U.S. Open's...

I don't know. The U.S. Open's fun. It is fun. The patriotic aspect of the Ryder Cup sets it apart for me. It's just a fun time. I very much enjoy the format of the Ryder Cup. It's just better. It's just so much fun. Oh, it's great. I would borderline of the Ryder Cup. It's just better. It's just so much fun. Oh, it's great. I would borderline put

the Ryder Cup behind the Masters for me. You know what? I could make a case. Give me more team golf. Team golf is just fun. It's fun. It is. Alternating shots, that's fun. Not for Brooks. Brooks doesn't like it, though. If his partner puts him in a bad position, he is not

happy. I would hate to play alternate shot, but to watch as a spectator is a lot of fun. I'd hate to play with you as my partner. No, I would hate to play with me as my partner. Man, I'd have to bring a swimsuit. Snorkel. Snorkel. Sunscreen, because you're at the beach all day. Oh, yeah, dude.

Can you imagine having to hit every one after Dylan every single time? Dylan wouldn't bring his towel, because he doesn't bring a towel to the beach. He wears fucking sneakers and doesn't bring a towel like an idiot. Dude, that's the worst look for anybody on Paradise, not to jump ahead, is the guys who don't have the footwear for the beach and they're just down there wearing like Asics or something. Why are they doing that? How are you not prepared?

Yeah. Carl. Carl is the worst example. Carl rolled out wearing like, yeah. How's he doing in paradise? He's gone. He's gone, baby. He was good, though.

He was good, man. He brought his stock up, but his stock was so low that his stock is still not good. Yeah. But he didn't do anything egregious in paradise. But you did not bring a towel to the beach that one time. Just to be clear. Like to the actual beach when we were down there like laying out. Man, I hate sand. You just went face down in the sand yeah i hate sand poked a big hole in it do i

make you sandy baby oh my god dude it was sandy sandy sandy was all over you oh my god what would it sound like no no just humor me here okay this is the christopher walker what would it sound like? Now, just humor me here. Is this the Christopher Walken? What would it sound like if Christopher Walken was cast in Grease? Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Sandy. Sandy. Oh, my God. What's the next line?

Okay, now we're going to break out in song. I met a girl. She's crazy for me. Grease lightning. Ladies and gentlemen, grease lightning. Where's Kaniki? Where's Knicky? For those wondering, I can't do a very good Christopher Walken,

which is why I'm taking myself out. I can't either. I'm just going to try it, man. No, there's something that I can hear. It's really hard. I can hear it in my head, but my brain does not properly communicate it to my mouth. Oh, my God. Sandy.

That wasn't that good. I know. That's the point. the rider cup the rider cup uh yeah i probably won't watch any of it considering i'll be uh away i think we're watching a decent chunk of this i think i think i'm going to be watching a very good amount i've got bad news rizzo is pregnant did she get pregnant in greece why was everyone in that false alarm she's in Grease? Why was everyone in that movie... Oh, false alarm. She's not really pregnant.

Why was everyone 35 in that movie? Rizzo was absolutely 38 years old in that movie. How old was Rizzo in Grease? She was 33. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. That's like you as a high school kid right now. Yeah, that's like me going back and playing a character in Friday Lights or something.

It's just not going to happen. Who's the substitute teacher that's sitting in class with me? Yeah, why does the guy have a full fucking beard? You put off substitute teacher who smokes a pipe in his off time. Oh, come on. You've got pipe vibes. I pipe. Corn cob.

Okay. I was walking down the street the other other day and there's just a dude sitting there like totally unassuming looking dude totally normal looking dude not like a try hard outfit not like anything and the dude was just smoking a pipe dude that's what i love about austin man you never know right keep austin weird dude keep it weird it's me austin guy damn sorry i was distracted by a cat pet um text she tweeted us or she texted us a tweet from miss fall caitlin covington i believe her name is she uh has announced that fall is here so this is the first day this is her super bowl it's time to sell them was that christian girl autumn christian girl autumn christian girl autumn her yep it's good to see that her style has not evolved at all in the last what to sell them. Is that Christian Girl Autumn? Yes. Christian Girl Autumn. Christian Girl Autumn. Her. Yep.

It's good to see that her style has not evolved at all in the last, what, five years? She's got some boots. No fur, but... Boots nonetheless. Glaring lack of fur.

Yeah. Oh. No comment. She takes good photos. She's pretty. I'll say it. Why do these girls all pose from inside

of their car? What map is she looking at? Is there any way that this map that she's looking at is the same place where she is? Who's looking at maps? Posting from inside your car is a subtle way of just letting people know what kind of car you drive. Oh, look at me. I got a car.

Oh, you drive a Mercedes. That's so sick. She doesn't even have T-tops. Why is she using an actual physical map in this picture? Yeah, get the iOS update. Get that new map, dumbass. Broke girl summer. No T-tops in the whip. Come on, man.

What are you doing? Come on, man. T-top? Let's talk about our friends over at Keeps. Please. You guys know two out of three men will experience hair loss by the time they're 35? Uh-huh. More than 50 million men in the U.S. experience male pattern baldness.

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Look, it comes for all of us, or most of us, I should say. I'm approaching 35 rapidly. I am not as thick up top as I used to be. Hand up. Hand's literally up. Unfortunately, I do have fears about my head of hair. Not only do I have a scalp issue that's just been brewing, but I'm worried that's going to contribute to my hair loss as I approach 35,

and I think I have no choice but to stay in keeps at this point. You have to. You've got to keep the hair that you've got. Keeps has more five-star reviews than any of its competitors. If that doesn't tell you what you need to know, then what else can I say? Nothing. What more can I say? Who says that?

What more can I say? Jay-Z. Shouts to Hove. Correct. Right. Full head of hair. Prevention is key, and treatments can take up to four to six months to see results, so you have to act fast.

I'm 35 in about three months from now. This is concerning to me. Preemptive. Be proactive. Be preemptive. Take a photo of the back of your head. See what's going on back there. It's a scary moment when you take that photo and you

have to bring your phone from the back of your head into your phrase. But just know that it's necessary. You might not see what you want to see. Your buddies may not be telling you because they may be like scared of how you'll react. You have to look at it for yourself. If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to

keeps.com slash steam to receive your first month of treatment for free. Yes you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keeps.com slash steam to receive your first month of treatment for free. Yes, I said free. That's keeps.com slash steam to get your first month free. keeps.com slash steam. Keeps.com, baby. Get the hair up top. Why is it, why is the photo, why is it the blue man group, B-L-E-W, in this circling back? What do you think? But what's the context? I don't know. Blue Man Group.

Hey, guess what? Hey, I've got two minutes in paradise. Do you want to be the timer today since you haven't been watching Paradise Dylan? Do you know how to work your phone to find the timer? Yes. The clock app. Timer. We'll set it to...

Kind of already did. Hold on, hold on. Before you press... Don't press start until I get my takes in order. I've got two minutes in Paradise. We said last week that we've definitely gotten to the point where the show's not where it has been the entire season. Am I starting it? No, you're not starting it i'm just telling me when i'm prefacing people you can't talk about it so this week wasn't the prologue yeah we can prologue this oh my god

hurry up you watched last night dave yes whole thing i'm gonna hit it yes i'm hitting it ready count us down set paradise dave yeah i watched it all what do you think uh could he use a little bit less of the kendall joe stuff but i get it's fairly important storyline feel bad for kendall she seems nice i feel bad for her in the sense that i don't like when people are sad i don't feel bad for her in the sense that she went to paradise correct to go find the person that she just broke up with and now that he's moved on she's upset if only she would have had some other means to communicate with them before Paradise. Like maybe, I don't know, a cellular device. Did you think Grocery Store Joe was kind of savage when she asked why he came to Paradise?

Yes. I kind of loved it. I thought he was going to say to her that he was hoping that she was going to be there. And then he came out and he was like, nah, I came here because we were done. Yeah, we're done. What did you think of the hurricane that came through? First of all, it tipped over one beach chair. It was a tropical storm.

Tropical storms don't just pop up out of the blue. They had multiple days notice. They were gone for probably 12 hours. When they went back to the beach, you could still see the cloud cover from the back end of the storm. So it couldn't have been that bad. I mean, I've never, it was so bad, Dave,

that they had a full camera crew taping them, telling them to evacuate. If it's that big of a deal, and you, like these people don't have phones, so they don't know how bad that storm's actually going to be.

Yeah. And like, so they're all freaking out. And meanwhile, like nothing happened. It was a pointless storm. It was, but it created some drama for people who were into that. How'd you feel about Mari and Kenny eating tacos off of their naked bodies?

They got a—they really—when they find a—when they pigeonhole somebody like Kenny with the nude stuff, boy, they wear it out. They wear it out more than we wear out bits. Were they doing flour or corn tortillas? Hard to say. Are you eating any tacos off of any naked bodies in the near future? They certainly weren't doing soft shell. Wow. It's hard.

No, I'm eating a barbacoa off of the nude body. Did they not give us the Ivan fight last night, or did I fall asleep for that? They didn't give it. They got to the end, and then they alluded to something going on next week with him and Aaron and then they find out Ivan did something while they were in the hotel.

Sounds like he might have gone around communication mediums that he wasn't supposed to. I don't feel bad about Ivan doing that. I like Ivan. I like his shirt. Aaron's...

I believe y'all heard the timer. All right, let's talk about this weekend at fun. That concludes Two Minutes in Paradise. This weekend at fun. That concludes two minutes in Pebbly Day. This weekend at fun presented, my friends, by Vizzy Hard Seltzer. The option with something extra makes your choice easier. And as the first hard seltzer with antioxidant vitamin C,

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It might be a bad weekend to be a Vizzy Hard Seltzer. It is still very much Vizzy Hard Seltzer season. That's how I'm ringing in fall. Randy's out on beer and in on seltzer, and I think I'm going to join our man Randy in this crusade. Okay. I'll tell you this. A blackberry lemon might hit different right now.

Because it's fall. Mm-hmm. Wow, good point. Mm-hmm. Good point. Raspberry tangerine. We out here. I still can't get off these lemonades, man.

I'm very into the watermelons. I liked the lemonade seltzer pack a lot. The watermelon just changed the game. Turned the game on its head. Is it different? I walked into Dave's place the other day and he had the watermelon variety pack on his kitchen counter

and he was just smashing it. He had a wig on, too. Like Gallagher. Mm-hmm. Oh, I see. Smashing it with a sledgehammer, not like... You could have just drank them. Yeah, why didn't you drink them instead of just smashing them?

Smashing. I don't know. I was trying to go viral. I was trying to go viral. Okay. It never hurts to add some vitamins and antioxidants to the mix. With Vizzy, you can enjoy a refreshment now with the antioxidant Vitamin C, 5% ABV, 100 calories

Less than 1 gram of real cane sugar per can Find the flaws Can you? Can you? Someone asked me the other day, they're like, Will do you support every sponsor that you do? And I'm like, yeah, I do They're like, do you love Vizzy? And I'm like, yes, it is the best hard seltzer that I've ever tried

We can't help but favor some sponsors over others because some are just mega dope. Vizzy being one of them. If I'm out and someone's like, hey, we're going to go get some stuff at a store, we're going to get some hard seltzers. I'm like, yeah, get Vizzy. Don't get anything else. I don't want to drink anything else. Vizzy tastes the best.

Just go get it. To be fair, I have tried competing brands. Like, hand up, I have. Second time I have my hand up this episode. Vizzy is the best. Just go get it. To be fair, I have tried competing brands. Like, hand up, I have. Second time I have my hand up this episode. Vizzy is the best. It is my favorite. Upgrade your hard seltzer to Vizzy. To find out where you can purchase Vizzy, go to VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed.

That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash washed. To get updates on their latest flavor drops and more, sign up for their emails at VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash subscribed. That's VizzyHardSeltzer.com slash subscribed. That's VizzyHardSelter.com slash subscribe. Must be 21 or older. Dylan, what are you doing this weekend? Thank you for asking, Will. I have a fantastic weekend ahead of me. I'm going to San Diego. I fly out Thursday afternoon, so tomorrow, and I'll be there for three days. I get back Sunday, and it's just going to be a weekend of beach and golf and that, pretty much, going out to dinners, hit the bars. It's a golf trip, but we're only playing one round, maybe two rounds,

and we're staying at Mission Beach. I'll be hitting up Pacific Beach, La Jolla. What are you looking to shoot this weekend? Watching some football. What do you think that scorecard is going to look like after your first round? Dude, I don't know. I have no expectations. Don't look at me.

It's because I'm out on golf, and I'm also out on my back, which is just giving me all kinds of difficulties right now. I may not even play a full round of golf, honestly. Oh, my God. It's such bad shit. Are you going to do scramble? I don't believe so. So I'm looking forward to me a great trip.

The golf part of it is just kind of like a bonus. If I can play, great. If not, also have fun. Wow, dude. Get back Sunday. And I'll probably watch some football Sunday. What time is your flight on Sunday morning? 9.40.

I get back at like 2.20. So I'll catch the late games. It's tough with that West Coast change when you're flying back. I hate it. Absolutely hate it. Yeah. Cowboys-Eagles. Monday night. Monday night.

Monday night. Oh, Monday night. Will I be watching the Mannings or the regular broadcast? Hard to say. I'm not going to lie. The first time that I watched the Mannings on the first Monday night football game, I was not into it at all. I caught a little of the second quarter with them during the Lions-Packers game, and I did enjoy it. They had Brett Favre on

when I was watching. I didn't think he was They had Brett Favre on when I was watching. I didn't think he was bad. Brett Favre? Yeah, I thought he was a pretty good guest. Was he getting killed on Twitter and stuff? He wasn't getting killed, but I heard some people saying that he wasn't great. But I thought he was, I don't know, some of the guys. Gronk had terrible dial-up, like, internet. It was bad.

Would you rather just listen to Tirico the entire time? No. Who cares? It's not Tirico, is it? Whatever. Is it Tirico? I'm just putting out a general termiko the entire time? No. Who cares? It's not Tariko, is it? Whatever. I'm just putting out a general term. You're right.

It's way more fun to have an alternate feed at this point. Correct. That's the crux of it. What are you doing this weekend, Dave? I didn't get an invite to San Diego. Might be playing golf Friday. Wow. Must be nice.

Friday night, no plans. Saturday, I think we're going to have some people over. Might want to come by and watch the games. Texas game, Texas, Texas Tech, 11 a.m. Okay, cool. I'll flip it on. I mean, I'll be watching it. Saturday night, no plans.

Ooh, I scored a good bottle of bourbon. I'm going to crack that open. Sunday, dude, I'm probably going to be watching a lot of football probably binging it yeah did you score any like good unique sodas that you're gonna mix with your bourbon uh yeah actually i'd landed some rc oh fuck where'd you get that actually don't say don't say i don't want to sell i don't want to sell out before i right right right um i'll be doing the theraftKings stuff Sunday. Look, I got the taste of victory last week, and now I'm a very wealthy man.

So I will be going back to the well, and I will be doing it. Promo code WASHED if you're signing up for DraftKings. Did you talk about that you cleaned up last weekend on too much debt? I did. You did pretty well for yourself. I did. That's why I scored that $39 bottle of bourbon. Must be nice.

It was very nice. And that RC Cola as well. And the RC Cola, which is cheaper, but still expensive. No one had me going to two football games in two consecutive weekends. That's what I do. I'm a football guy. I watch football. People know that about you, yeah.

Yeah, I don't really have any plans this weekend outside of, you know, it's hard to say. I got no dinner plans any night. Saturday I will be going to the 11 a.m. kickoff at DKR. Very excited about this game. I'm going to wear my new game day polo that I bought last weekend. I look good in it, you have to admit. Those stripes are flattering as hell on your boy.

And then after that, probably going to head over to Dave's house, have a little busy hard seltzer while watching some Ryder Cup, maybe watching a little bit of football. Are you going to get a dual TV situation going on? Meaning my laptop will be open, yeah, as well as my TV. You know, it functions as a tablet, so it's kind of like a TV. It's just a really small TV. Yeah, a little small.

Yeah, outside of that, I don't really have anything. It's a pretty open weekend for me, which is nice, because I'm coming off of a few weekends that are a little too loaded for your boy. Justin Fields to start Sunday. Ooh, this just in. This just in. Per numerous sources. Okay. I kind of wish I was going to San Diego. Can you imagine the weather

in San Diego right now? The low is like low 60s. The high is like 74, and it's sunny the entire time. So perfect, in other words. Are you worried about the marine layer? There isn't one, is what I was told. That's correct. How much rowback are you going to be wearing on this trip?

I am bringing probably two hoodies. Probably two. Maybe a QZ as well. I don't know if you need two hoodies. You're only there for, what, 72 hours? Backer 20 will get you 20% off, by the way. We've done three ad reads for this weekend in fun. No one's doing that.

No one is doing that. Brett! Hey. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you for having me. I would like to, can I follow an HR complaint real quick? Yes, you can. Dylan, you're the HR representative, right?

Yes. Will, in a quote, said at 12.02 p.m., get that cute little ass in here. I have textual evidence. I reject your complaint. You're in the clear again there, Will. Yep, you signed the contract

that said we're allowed to objectify your ass. Randy signed that same contract. Yeah, well. Randy has an actual log of violations over there that have made him record himself. Toby Flenderson over there, the office. You guys seen that? Good show. Brett, we've got your breaking news.

Can I throw the rock to you and just let you talk about Small Biz September? Yeah, the second to last week of Small Biz September. I can't believe it's almost over. It kind of went by really fast, though. It lasts a month. Right. But I'm saying it's been a quick month. It's the same as it's almost over. It's sad. It kind of went by really fast, though. It lasts a month. Right. But I'm saying it's been a quick month. It's the same as it was last year.

Hey, Brett. My name is Pat. I'm a longtime Toucher, backer, and Patreon subscriber. I help my very close friend, Nico, run a small business called Beyond Gouda. I've seen these guys before. Ooh. John Gouda. My Gouda.

called Beyond Gouda. I've seen these guys before. Ooh. John Gouda. My Gouda. Beyond Gouda is based in Denver and specializes in charcuterie gift boxes that feature artisan cheeses, cured meats, local accoutrement. Great logo. And seasonal fruits.

Wish I could personally speak to it, but I don't have any in front of me, unfortunately. They didn't send us any. We're going to have to get some Beyond Gouda in here. Wow. I don't have any in front of me, unfortunately. They didn't send us any. We're going to have to get some Beyond Gouda in here. Wow. They happily offer contactless delivery and discounts on bulk orders.

For socially distanced grazing, check them out at www.beyondgouda.com or add them on the gram at beyondgouda. And let me say this. We just want a little taste. Their products look phenomenal. It does look phenomenal. Their large consists of four cheeses, four cured meats, two dips and spreads, fruits, nuts, and crackers.

Dude, I need this Saturday. I know. I was just thinking that. This is perfect for you on Saturday. They might rush order it, Dave. Damn. Oh, don't do that for me. Drive down from Denver.

Oh, gosh. No, I'd be embarrassed. You can even elevate your enjoyment with a bottle of wine, a carefully selected wine pairing to complement the ingredients of your box. Yes, please. I'm sorry. Sign me up. Oh, no, I won't take that bottle of wine. Yeah, okay.

I got a shout out. Can I do our fourth ad read of this segment? Yeah. Nakedwines.com? Mm-hmm. Oh, my God. Are they naked? Yeah, I just got six bottles of wine for $9.

That's not a small biz. That mom from Lake Travis would be like, don't send naked wines to my fucking house. These wines were naked. My kid is not naked. I am not naked. My wine is not naked. Can I ask a, while I have you all here,

can I ask a, speaking of naked, an interior design question. Is it cool to have like pictures like with nude accompaniments in them you know i'm like i feel like naked bodies are like kind of in right i think you're allowed one per house one per house one one per domicile you can have one naked and it's got to be tasteful of course the reason i say is because there was a, like I'm doing the inside of my new apartment. There was a movie poster that was really vibey, really cool, but it has like a topless woman on it. Oh.

But it's tasteful. So no top. I'll show you guys after the podcast. What's that? Who is it? I don't know. It's like an art. It's art.

Kathleen Turner? We have one nude thing in our apartment. Do you? It's a vase that I bought that's just boobs. A vase. Sally was not very impressed with that. She didn't like it when it came in. Is it a major award?

Huh? I'm just doing Christmas stories. Dylan, do you still have that Hooters mouse pad? I think I finally threw that out. Too bad, man. You know what, Brett? To answer your question, no. But there's only one artist that I use for my nude art, and it's John Duda. Got it. I think I finally threw that out. Too bad, man. You know what, Brett? To answer your question, no.

But there's only one artist that I use for my nude art, and it's John Duda. Got it. Does he do nudes? He specializes in that, correct. Shots to Internet Party for having their 100th episode yesterday. A hundo? Yeah, I recorded with them last night, and unfortunately, we had to start recording late because Brad was at Wendy's. Oh, what's his order?

They have new fries, which was a potential break in the episode. Oh, that sounds so good. Yeah, Brad was not impressed with the new fries last night. He was not happy about that. Did he go spicy chicken sandwich? I'm not sure. I think he might have gone nugs, but I could be totally wrong there. My go-to every time.

The spicy chicken sandwich is legit very good. It is. Can I ask you one take that I think might be controversial regarding that sandwich? Okay. I kind of wished that the lettuce on it was shredded and not just the giant piece of iceberg lettuce. That's a fair one. I hate when there's a giant piece on my sandwich. That's the coldest take in history.

Is it? Wow. I don't know if that's the coldest take in history. Yeah, it's pretty cold, man. I got to say. Shreddy Letty is so much better than a full piece of lettuce on any sandwich. It's still an incredible sandwich, and I will get one any time that I'm at Wendy's. I will order one.

But I just kind of wish the lettuce was shredded. It's getting a little awkward in here, man. Do the next story. You guys are fighting. I need to go there soon. We're calling my hair Shreddy Letty. There aren't that many Wendy's in Austin. There's one really close to me.

Really? Yeah. There's one on campus. The only time I ever eat it is when I'm drunk on campus getting a UT game in. What? What? Homer Simpson jiff into the bushes.

Why'd Will walk out of Jester? Yeah, at 7.30 a.m. Will's guma lives at Jester. You guys want to do some breaking news now? Let's do it. First of all, let me congratulate Roback Hubs getting married this weekend in San Antonio. Wow.

Hard guy. Glaring lack of invitation. Okay, yeah. I guess I missed the Evite. Very cool. But no, congratulations. Congrats, Hubs.

He's our guy. Our dude. He's that dude. Would you guys like to go? That's five ad reads. Endangered species, nuclear fallout, or monumental

real estate transactions? Dylan, I'll pass you the rock, or monumental real estate transactions. Dylan, I'll pass you the rock. Monumental real estate transactions. Dylan just said that because he doesn't know how to say nuclear. He always says nuclear. Well, I just said it because I am a real estate professional.

You are. All lowercase, though. Yes, thank you. I just wanted to point out, as of this morning, according to the Austin Business Journal, my apartment complex was sold. Damn.

Oh, no. The new one or the old one? The new one. It was sold for $152 million by Stratus Properties, who owns all of the land on Southwest Parkway, by the way. Does Trish own that? Trish Stratus. Maybe. I don't know.

I don't know what this means for me. The golf ball company. Means your rent's going up. Yeah, right? If somebody new comes in. No, they can't. My lease is locked in, obviously. It will be yeah yeah is the next year at this time you're gonna be pinching pennies correct i'll watch your boy down 15 month or swag see you around christmas yeah dude your place looks pretty sick man thank you it's coming along i'm gonna have you guys over when it's done i have to me and randy are gonna do some electrician electrician work electrical electrical is r going to do the track line?

I'm on a spooky Halloween bash. What's it called? The Merriman spooky monster bash. Yeah, that one. It was a bash. You have to dress up. Legit. A monster bash.

It was a bash. Like costume, costume. We got to do costume and then walk over to carve. You think I'm not going to do costume? Carve. We can literally walk there. That's sick. I went to Dylan's house yesterday to pick up a drill. It took me four minutes door to door. Cuatro. We can literally walk there. That's sick.

I went to Dylan's house yesterday to pick up a drill. It took me four minutes door to door. A lot of people have that same experience at Dylan's house. That's how good I am. Anyway. Excuse me? What? I guess we'll see about what this means for me.

Do the nuclear one. Nuclear fallout. Remember Brendan from The Bachelor, Brendan Murray? Yes. Correct. Well, he has some nuclear fallout from his thing. Okay. He reportedly loses a NordicTrack sponsorship on top of 100,000 Instagram followers.

I don't normally wish bad things to happen to people, but the way that he positioned himself in Paradise, he really left himself open to having no favors served to him. Like, what he did makes no sense. I don't like him losing sponsors. He's a character on this show, and what he did is not illegal. Could he lose a sponsor because they bought the ad deal at three at 400 or however many that that is that is where i'm thinking this may maybe maybe knock the rate

down a little bit in order to track did say they uh they're no longer doing business with brendan and any further business plans have been terminated his behavior does not align with the brand's values wasn't that bad i mean it wasn't cool it was like not cool but it wasn't like he, you know what I mean? Like there's been worse things that have happened in Paradise. He also did a seven minute apology video.

Yeah. Seven minutes is a little long. That's why he should lose his sponsors. Agreed. He said to Natasha, I never meant to hurt you. I never meant to lead you on. I think that's a song.

It's Paradise. He literally, he literally led her on so he could stay in Paradise. He did. But again, this is Paradise. I know it's Paradise, but there's also a way you could navigate Paradise without just completely ruining some other girl's time.

I am completely shocked that this contestant that we're paying money to to endorse our product went on to Bachelor in Paradise and left one of the girls for another girl. Sounds like two more minutes in Paradise. That is such an oversimplification of what this guy did. Two minutes in Paradise and left one of the girls for another girl. Sounds like two more minutes in Paradise. That is such an oversimplification of what this guy did. Two minutes in Paradise. Is this song just two tickets?

Or does he keep saying two minutes? We did a thing. It's called Two Minutes. Listen to Touching Base one time. No, you're right. I know. I just feel bad for him because I don't think he's a bad guy. I think he's just a relationship idiot. He's very young. I feel bad for him in the sense't think he's a bad guy. I think he's just a relationship idiot.

He's very young. I feel bad for him in the sense that he was not self-aware enough to understand the ramifications of doing what he did. And then the way that they had talked about everything after so blatantly while they were miked up, it's like, dude, you're just dumb right now. You're taking your own stock. Why are you doing this? You know, I might be conflating the other guy's similar situation as well, Chris, with the young lady that no one's talking about anymore.

You remember her? No. Chris, the Asian guy with the brunette. Oh, dude. The exact same thing. Well, he was an idiot, and he left on his own accord because he knew that he fucked up. Well, he got shamed into it. And Brendan left on his own accord, too knew that he fucked up. Well, he got shamed into it. And Brendan left on his own accord, too,

and I think he probably realized, oh, I might lose that sponsor. Which, I don't know, it's fine. He probably, whatever, I don't care. We've done too much. It was two more minutes in Paradise. This is my fault, and I apologize to those who didn't want to hear it. I'll talk Paradise as long as you want.

You guys want some endangered species news? Please. Is this going to be sad or happy? Depends on where you align on this issue, Dave. Is this about wolves? Definitely about wolves. It's not. I'm going to fix wolves.

Spill rhinos. Nope. According to the British Soft Drinks Association, the British Soft Drinks Association, manufacturers only have a few days of carbon dioxide left to produce soft drinks in Britain. Oh, yeah. I saw this. There would probably be a pop shortage up there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I saw this.

There would probably be a pop shortage up there. Yeah. Hold on. Say that sentence again. Manufacturers have only a few days of carbon dioxide left in reserve to produce beverages and can't import supplies from the European Union due to Brexit. No more soda pop. Wow.

No one saw that coming. You know how much sugar is in a soda? Yeah. Well, in a 20-ounce Sprite, there's 63 grams. That's entirely too many. Can't they just get it from the atmosphere? Ask John Mayer.

Carbon dioxide in your atmosphere. Live in Nokia. There's got to be a way. Here's the problem. Natural gas prices are skyrocketing, causing the Russians to do more. We will talk geopolitical after this, Dave. But because natural gas prices are rising, factories that rely on natural gas for producing things are shutting down. A byproduct of those factories' production is CO2,

which is bottled up and sold to beverage production companies that therefore no longer get their CO2. You know, this is tough for all my paintballers out there. It is. You ever get one halfway on and it just sprays your hand? Yes, the O-ring busts just shooting everywhere. Yeah, that happened quite frequently, actually. We're actually going to apply your... We were going

to apply your Blue Man Group makeup with paintball, but now we can't because there's a big shortage. I'm David Ruff, and this is the Blue Man Group paintball. Dude, you probably... You didn't have the... You had the semi-automatic trigger. I never. You didn't have an angel.

You didn't have an angel? I never played paintball. You didn't have an angel where you could just... The hairpin trigger, I think. Hey, paintball is fun as hell, man. It is fun. I went maybe twice as a kid, but it was a blast. It hurt. We once went on my buddy's church's lock-in,

even though we didn't go there. They did a lock-in. They did a paintball thing. We were just lighting these kids up. That's sick. It was fucking... We were the guy. We brought our own gear they're like oh these dudes are serious what's a lock-in like overnight you stay inside a building koresh you stay at the church overnight you can't leave and it's like supervised in retrospect it's kind of weird it's's fun, though. Oh, yeah. I've heard stories. I've heard breaking news.

What is it, bitch? You see they paid out that dude that had the big parlay with the Lions? Who did? Did you hear about this parlay? Yeah. Yeah. The 16-leg parlay better didn't receive a cash-out option because it was a $25 promotional free bet,

but MGM will make an exception and award the better $133K for hitting the first 15 legs of his parlay. Good. So wait, wait, wait. 16-leg parlay. No, that's good. That's good biz. And he missed on the lines.

It's good advertising. It's good biz. But now, do you not feel like you should be able to go back and recoup some of every parlay that you've lost? Boy, how much time you got. If you're doing 16- 16 lighters on the reg, you're like, come on. That was a free entry, like a promo deal?

Must have been. That's a good pub for them. What casino is this? That's what I'm saying. Let's do small business. What casino? Did he not hedge? I'm sure he hedged.

No one's hedging in Vegas. He was hedging in Vegas. They're hedging. They're not edging, though. Slap guy. Quit touching bread. You touched will, man. Yeah.

We're on a wave. We're riding a party wave. We're the only ones who have committed an HR violation the last five to ten minutes. It's still early. I'm so hungry. Me too. What are you doing? I don't know.

Maybe a sandwich. Do you want to do lunch? Yeah, I'll do lunch. Vegetarian week rolls on, friends. Man, shut up. Seriously, I don't want to hear it. Oh, where's the meat? Not in my stomach.

Are you doing like quinoa and shit? I mean, I haven't had any quinoa, but I mean, I'm done. You can eat quinoa while also eating meat. Well, I'm going to send you a video of me eating meat. That's fine. Dude, I'm all in right now. I'm not even close. What do you mean?

For me, are you not going to eat meat at a tailgate? I'm all in right now. What are you doing on Saturday? I'm not even close. What do you mean? Are you not going to eat meat at a tailgate? I'm not tailgating. You think I'm going to a tailgate before an 11 o'clock kick? You just told us your Wendy's story about being on campus. Dude, Sally's in town this weekend. I can't go to campus. Who's this Wendy girl that you're seeing on campus? I heard on the podcast you're hanging out with a Wendy.

Is there a girl in college named Wendy? Can I ask your wife about your diet today on the mail-in podcast? She's doing it with me. Do you want to do the mail-in? No. Okay. I'm on dad duty. You have to go hang out with your child.

Have to is one way to put it. Speaking of dad duty, let's get out of here. Yeah, it's time. Podcast week, another one of the books. Bye. Spooky season next week.