Circling Back - Back In The Lodge & Biting Tongues Off

Episode Date: February 22, 2021

After a cold and treacherous week in Austin and Dave being out on paternity leave, we're at full strength in The Lodge. We recap our weekends, discuss Dave's measures going forward, discuss a Worst Weekend Story about a Scottish man getting his tongue bit off in a fight, and a bunch of cocaine getting sent in boxes of Frosted Flakes. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (14:15)  Recapping This Weekend in Fun (36:42) Dave Segment: Doomsdave Prepping (44:29) Worst Weekend: Biting Tongues Off (57:48) Frosted Flakes Cocaine (1:03:42) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (STELLA20 for 20% off) Harry’s: www.harrys.com/circlingback (Starter Set for just $3!) Fitbod: www.fitbod.me/steam (25% off your membership) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name's will defreeze my right david carter rough let me just get right out in front of it. Yes. It's podcast week. Yes. Let's go. Been waiting all year for this. Yes. Some people wait a lifetime for a moment like this. Yes.

Dave, I'm going to be the first to say it. It's great to have you back in the studio. Well, I'm going to be the first to say this. Thank you for welcoming me back to the studio. Oh, man. How are we celebrating Podcast Week? Any plans? Well, I'm going to buy a truck because it's also truck month.

Oh, okay. We could do what we did when Micah first announced Podcast Week at Grand X, which is nothing really changes. We just keep mentioning that it is Podcast Week. I'm glad Micah finds the humor in that now. He meant well with it. Like, all right, we're going to promo all these pods. We were like, so what do we do?

Cross promo. How do we celebrate podcast week? He goes, it's just podcast week. Okay. If we made a list of all the ideas that Micah had in order to promote podcasts, our old podcast network might be a top 10 podcast network in the world. He had a lot

of ideas that no one ever did anything about and now it's like, oh wait, we probably could have killed it. We just made fun of him instead. I hope the... Oh, cool idea, dude. Micah got a lot of flack. Oh yeah. I'm trying to grow numbers. Sick. We just drop a native promotion right here in the middle.

That's not how my mic talks. No, he never said that. He was the mastermind behind the pods, many of them. The whole network. They brought him on to do that. He showed up. I think so. I think we just brought him on to do something.

That's how he convinced. That was his whole pitch was I want to start a podcast thing. Okay. He showed up. I think so. I think we just brought him on to do something. That's how he convinced. That's how he. That was his whole pitch was I want to start a podcast thing. Okay. And then when he showed up in a Joseph A. Banks button down, some Dockers and some Lou Casey boots, everybody's like, I don't know if you're the podcast guy. The podcast guy.

No, that's a slight exaggeration. Slight. A great man once said that the best pickup line is a tight pair of dockers, and Micah was fucking killing it. Speaking of dockers, Dylan. What's good? No, don't do that, dude. Hey, everybody.

You used to boat all the time. That's true. That's true. Will watches sailing. I'm very happy to be here. Christopher Cross over here. Well, I do congrats my friend Bobby schmurda on getting out the clink you got out of prison today big day big day uh yeah i hope i hope i hope when you drop some heat

do you think they've got a non-covid friendly party planned because i hope they do are you familiar with this work i i think i'm familiar but like if you ask me to sing a song right now i don't think i'd be able to do it smash hit single hot n word or the radio version is hot boy which completely changed the vibe of the song i'm a hot boy always made me laugh is he a part of uh is he a part of anything like any groups dude he's just shmurda gs9 gang dude he's the one who throws that the cap up in his video you know saying you know you've seen the gift dude man i love dylan being all in on a song that's like seven years old. I'm celebrating his release from prison.

On brand. That song, it's like five. That song's tight. Why was he in prison? I think a gun charge. Conspiracy. He played guilty. Racketeering.

Racketeering. It's funny because in the video for Hot Blank, he's just doing air pistols. He keeps shooting the camera with air pistols the entire time. I don't hate that. I kind of like that. And it's like, oh, this guy really does like guns because then he got arrested for it. Yeah. Did he get arrested?

He had a Tommy gun, you see? I don't think he had a Tommy gun. He had a Tommy gun. Imagine being in the clinic for think he had a Tommy gun. He had a Tommy gun. Imagine being in the clinic for having a Tommy gun. Yeah, I got a Mac-10. It's like the least concealed weapon ever. But it's so gangster. It's the OG gangster weapon.

It is. It's so sick. How did they carry those around easily? You pull that out of the thing and sing it. They're trench coats. Yeah. Is that why they all wear trench coats? Yeah.

You don't carry one of those unless you're trying to take somebody down. A Tommy gun? That thing is singing when you bring it out. I want to meet the Tommy that it was named after. Tommy. Tommy. That was one bad hombre. Oh, yeah.

It's like, dude, we've got to name this gun after Tommy. There's also a very popular video of him who was uh he was in some like board meeting with his record label or something and it was just a like a bunch of white stiffs sitting around a table and he's like dancing on the on the table and performing one of his songs and it's really funny i think that was machine gun kelly i'm pretty sure it was schmurda that video is one of the worst videos I've ever seen. Is it a better photo than before Micah's fight when the guy he fought attended the meeting shirtless? Yeah, still one of the more bizarre moments of my professional life. I just remember sitting at my desk, and I got a text from Dave that said,

he just showed up and he's not wearing a shirt. I mean, it's a conference. It's it on it. Those photos started to leak, though. That was a lot of fun in the office. Dude, those guys are going to just tear you conference. It's it on it. It's it a... Those photos started to leak, though. That was a lot of fun in the office. Dude, those... This guy's gonna just tear you apart. Those did numbers on Twitter. He's gonna rip your limbs off, Micah. I mean,

the guy was... Jacked. He just came from a workout, and you know it on it. Sometimes they don't wear shirts. He just decided, you know, he's like, I'm gonna just take that from the weight room to the boardroom. It's called establishing dominance. To the discotheca. And it was called establishing dominance. To the discotheca. Then it was effective.

He went to the discotheca after. I need to find those photos. Somebody find that tweet. Because Micah's face, because I got a photo and Micah's like. He looks scared. I mean, Micah knew the guy was big. It's just one of those moments where it's like, yep, I've gotten myself in too deep. Micah should have taken his shirt off right there.

Oh, yeah. That's what you get for picking a fight in a bathroom bar. It's a topical reference to the OU football player who got an all-time beatdown by Spencer Jones and me. Might have to put that on Quick Dips for later. Just a little

tip for those who like to maybe drink a little bit and go out to bars and stuff. Don't judge a book by its cover. First of all, don't get in fights. Fighting's not cool. Dave, you all right? Dave just threw his phone at his laptop. Don't get in fights. Got a VIP text from you-know-who.

No, I don't. I don't. Sour Patch Kids? PB. Peanut butter. I love peanut Kids? PB. Peanut Butter. I love Peanut Butter, dude. Extra crunchy? Yeah.

The dude got his ass whipped. He and his friend got their asses whipped. It wouldn't. I mean, they just got worked over by two guys. If you haven't seen this, it's all over the Twitter. Just go type in OU fight. And this guy, like Dylan said, he just gets it from these dudes who have been training mixed martial arts in some capacity for years.

No. But they look – if you look at them, they look like guys who know how to scrap. Yeah. Like, I don't know if it's full cottoneer, but they've got the heads, you know, just you're like – Cottoneer? No, they – They're cottoneer. You know what you call it? Cauliflower know, just you're like, ah. Cotton ear? No, they're cotton ear. You know what you call it?

Cauliflower? Cauliflower, yeah. Cotton could work in a way. You could put cotton in your ear. Yeah, people put cotton in their ear. I don't know. Yeah, I couldn't tell if they actually had the cauliflower ear thing going, but they look like the type that would, which is saying something.

Last place I want to get into a scrap is a bathroom a men's room at a bar a college bar at that dude it's too slippery to scrap it too slippery on basically just urine even if you win the fight you're still covered in pp um you can't you have to go home after that even if you're unscathed because again the pp it's straight to the crib after pp at best i mean at worst you know there's other stuff too do Doo doo. And, you know, in college, dudes are just dumb. So you just miss the toilet on purpose. Just peeing on the floor. You know how fucking dudes are.

Not a mask in sight. Dudes rock. Not a mask in sight there. Come on. I didn't even, you know what? I didn't even pick up on that. That's a great point. I have a lot of great points.

If you just listen every once in a while, it'd be great. What else? What other good points have you had recently? I don't know. Man, about that weather we had over the weekend. Change the subject. He's pivoting. Let's get some programming notes out of the way, of which there are many.

Hold on. Dylan's making a point. No, Dylan, this point sucks, dude. God. Remember when dudes were just doing the PowerPoint in photos and stuff? That was a stupid era. That was a really bad time. I've been that guy.

People were trying to do humor. It wasn't working. It wasn't cool. Oh, this guy's pointing. Then dudes started doing the cell phone thing. Oh, he's got an invisible cell phone in his hand. Must be on a call. Douchebag.

If they started doing it, I really hope there's not a photo out there of me doing a PowerPoint. You don't seem like the type. I feel like there's one out there. And if there is like, feel free to cancel me. Okay. PowerPoint. Programming notes.

We got some big ones today. Are you guys ready for this? Yeah. First and foremost, go follow Circling Back Pod and Wash Media on the Grom. Also leave a review and five-star rating. Are you guys ready for this? Yeah. First and foremost, go follow Circling Back Pod and Wash Media on the Grom. Add me on the group. Also, leave a review and five-star rating. We've had some great reviews coming through, whether they've been funny or just actually very nice, of which we've had several of those.

Very happy about that. And also, tell a friend about the pod. Do it right now. Pick up your phone. Find your friend who doesn't know what podcasts are yet and be like here here's your starter pack do me a favor I don't know where to get them do me a favor and tell 1,000 of your

closest friends about the podcast that's all I'm asking that would work 1,000 of your closest friends some of y'all don't have 1,000 friends in your shows yeah what are you doing

I have like four and they're all in this room right now oh that's sad man yeah I've got many if you're listening to this pod you're my friend

wow aw Dave that's beautiful That's beautiful. It's beautiful. Also, YouTube.com slash Watch Media. Every episode besides last week because we had some power restrictions and Randy was pretty much just running around town trying to find water all week. Randy was doing content, man.

A lot of people are just down in the dumps and just not in the mood to just churn out A-plus content, but Randy's over here just doing it. I don't know about A-plus. You're right. It was good. I thought you were going to hit him with an A-minus just to like slightly slight him. I started that sentence not knowing where I was going to go,

and I end up on A-plus, and I take it back. It was just okay. Dude, A-pluses were hard to come by in school. Yeah, for you. Dumbass. Wow. I thought A-pluses were kind of try-hard,

honestly. From the guy who went to Texas State. Didn't you get kicked out for grades? No, I transferred. Now why you left? I transferred

for a better education. What was your GPA? Ooh. In college? Yeah. Not great. GPAs are... If you have a flashy GPA,

then I don't want to hang out with you. You're not one of my four friends we had a pledge we had a pledge it was like had like a.2

in his pledge semester GPA did you have to like bring in like another pledge with like a a 4.0 just to make sure we like summed out

we found a a loophole to leave him off the the grades report good call we can't do that. That's going to really bring it down. I don't remember my – I remember high school GPA, but not college. I remember my first semester GPA, and my parents were just like,

yeah, that's not going to work. Oh, mine was in the tank. It needs to be. You got to have that learning curve early. Pledging during your first semester of college, it's hard on the books. You wouldn't know about that, GDI. YouTube.com slash washedmedia for everything

you need. Also, washedmedia.shop. The most important thing we need to talk about today is something that we need the listeners to go do. Are you guys ready for this? Mm-hmm. Yes. Whoa. Whoa. See, this is actually the instrumental version so i appreciate that you did that well there's media in the house that's all i remember welcome to will mons is officially live on spotify shout out to barry rigby the composer the man behind it he tossed it up on

spotify and i swear if this isn't charting by the end of the week, if this isn't on New Music Friday, I'm going to be very upset. What kind of cut do we get on the Spotify stream? It's hard to say. It's hard to say. If Barry's smart, he gives us nothing. Barry? Good job, Barry. His handle is BearRigby. Oh, I know that name.

It's live on Spotify. Go check it out. Just search Welcome to Wilmont. And then if you need to, listen to it like a few times with audio. And then if you need to, just put it on repeat all day so it's just constantly looping. Wow, I'm looking at this as Avi on Twitter. It doesn't look like, it doesn't match up to the voice. Just, he just looks like a normal dude. Doesn't look like a guy who would have a beautiful singing voice.

Have you listened to Driver's License yet? Yeah. I'm coming for that ass. Okay. Driver's License is about to get knocked off its perch because Welcome to Wilmot is officially in the building. That's going to be tough. Yeah.

I'm streaming this all week. Dude, it's heat. It's heat. I need this to come on on a TouchTunes at a bar and see a bunch of backers just going crazy. That's my dream. I mean, we're going to do some meetups at some point. You've got to think it's going to happen. Our next meetup is just going to be us listening to Welcome to Wilmonds on loop for six hours.

We might get a little tired of it, honestly. Nah, dude. Nah. Also, Patreon this week. Bachelor tomorrow. R&B Radio. Probably not tomorrow, but we might be getting an R&B Radio at some point. Randy has a VIP call tomorrow.

Love it. And we also have Lister voicemails on Friday. We're actually recording voicemails early this week, so leave one on the pipeline. 888-618-4422. Again, 888-618-4422. What, 888-618-4422. What's the phrase? Get out, get in.

Yeah, that's it. Tacticalize. You got it. Perfect. Man. All right, let's do it. Let's recap this weekend in fun, boys. Dylan, what'd you get into, dog?

Wow, thank you for asking, Will. So I mentioned last week or sometime. Oh, this is presented by Roback, by the way. Oh, yeah. Please use Stella 20 for 20% off of everything you need. So I mentioned last week or sometime. Oh, this is presented by Roback, by the way. Oh, yeah. Please use Stella 20 for 20% off of everything you need. Dylan's currently wearing the hoodie, which is super dope. It's an athletic hoodie, by the way.

Yeah. I mean, it's so sick. If you're a NARP dude, put that hoodie away. Yeah. If you're NARP, just stick to their polos or something. That's why I had to give mine to Randy because I wasn't athletic enough to wear it. I needed a little more meat on my bones in order to fill it out, so Randy's been rocking mine.

Dude, no one expected me to double up on rowback today. No one. They need to start making pants so that you can be wearing rowback pants, too. Wow, I got the hat on, which is dope. I love it. It fits so well. We love their stuff.

Hands down, my favorite fitting hats that I own. I love them. Yeah, straight up. Straight up. Stella 20 will get you 20% off. Load the cart because it's a one-time use code. I recommend the signature that I'm wearing right now. It's a quarter zip.

People on the streets call it the Dave. It's just a quarter zip. It's got the American flag in the back around the neck. It's got the white lining. It's very good. Very comfortable. Perfect for a day like this. We're currently going through our closet and donating a bunch of stuff, and I actually was going through a bunch of things, and I donated a grand total of zero rollback things.

Why would you? Exactly. I was like, Sally, if it's rollback, you're not touching that. It stays in the closet. Wow. Dylan, what'd you do? Yeah, so I mentioned that on Friday we were supposed to have a birthday dinner for my son, Parks Edwin Chivary, who turned six years old.

Congrats, Parks, on six years. But we had to cancel. Or I should say postpone. Because of the weather situation in Austin. My house was without water. The streets were still very icy at that point. And it just didn't make sense to have the family in. So how did he take the news?

Dude, he was a trooper, man. At six years old, like, your birthday is everything. And, like, I explained to him, like, hey, you know, we're supposed to have all the family together. Well, first of all, we're supposed to have a party for him, but we couldn't do that because of the pandemic. So we pushed that a while ago, and now the dinner got postponed. Did you get your invite? I know the mail's kind of slowed down because of the weather in Austin, but I feel like the mail's been coming in a little steadier over the last few days.

I haven't checked Facebook in a while. Anyway. Maybe it's a LinkedIn one. Do you have anything from a real estate professional on LinkedIn? We rescheduled it. And like I said, we didn't have water at my house, and we were going several days without a shower or being able to you know wash our hands

that kind of thing it was kind of gross so we went to san marcos parks and i did shocker because my sister and brother-in-law live there they're gracious enough to have us stay there did you hit the square at all they have running water no yeah i said it not to go out and hit the bars when i was with my son you know shut up it up. It was his birthday. He could have gotten bottle service and shit. His ID got taken up. Yeah, you could have gone to the Green Parrot. A bouncer at the Green Parrot, the one who took his ID.

So he couldn't get in anywhere, so we stayed home. You just slip them a 10, they're fine. And just hunkered down. Went on some walks. I mean, it was just kind of a lame weekend, really. Smash that subscribe button. In case we ever use it. More on that later.

Just give that feed to Randy. Just do whatever content you want to do on Green Dome. Randy might get the gift of content. Got water back Sunday morning. A-plus content. That's big. How pumped were you? Oh my gosh. So pumped. Were you a locker room let's's go guy I went in my house and I turned on every faucet and let it run for like two hours just to celebrate having water good yeah

good yeah I'm sure the Austin water Twitter account really enjoyed that they were getting a little sassy this weekend no no it's very responsible the only thing left we don't have is we still have to boil water but I think that's gonna be ending shortly here get some drinking water at the crib. But yeah, we managed. My inside sources say that by EOD, we might be able to have water again that we don't have to boil. You have a source at Austin Water? No, it's just Lily.

She knows everything. Yeah. Okay. Cool, very cool. Dude, last week was almost EOD. End of Dave. Really? Very tough. What happened to the demon? I guess my weekend's finished. Go ahead, Dave. It sounded Dude, last week was almost EOD. End of Dave. Wow. Really? Very tough. What happened to the D-man?

I guess my weekend's finished. Go ahead, Dave. It sounded good, though. I had quite the week. Probably not that, minus Sam Marcus' excursion. Very similar to Dylan's. When did we lose power? Monday?

No. We never lost power, but we lost water Tuesday. The majority of people lost every- We lost it Wednesday morning. Lost power on Monday at about 1.30 a.m. Water was a few days later. Yeah, so we kind of expected the water to go because we read the writing on the wall. Some other neighborhoods were losing it.

So we filled up our bathtubs. We knew if uh don't have running water you can't flush your toilet so you got to do the old fill the tank which is not fun but you got to do what you got to do also peeing outside which is very cool i do that anyway so i do i do i do it at night when i let randy out honestly it's one of the best so i so I've only lived with Rosie with a yard at one place. And I loved being out there at like 3 a.m. when she was a puppy, just going to the bathroom and just taking a big old piss. Oh, yeah, big time. When Randy was a puppy and he would just go out there and be farting around,

I would pee. He would run over and lift his leg and cover my pee up with his pee. We were just peeing together. That's brotherhood right there. That's his territory now, not yours. Yeah. I'm like, all right, dude, I guess I'll go inside. Saturday.

Saturday is when I got a little adventurous, decided to leave the house for the first time and did a Costco run. Got up at about 8.30. What's it called, Costco? They're like, we're opening at 10.15, we think. So I go, I talked about this on, at DC Rough on the Instagram. Add me on the instagram and um thank you for the follow it was uh it was quite the event

welcome to the lion we're in the jungle now the line was wrapped to lifetime fitness if you know anything about the william cannon lifetime fitness holy crap really yes uh it was on back to the service road and wrapped around that little under wrapped around the underpass wow it was very very it was bad i got in before it got back to lifetime but waited in line for like 90 minutes outside but it was actually kind of refreshing because it was clear and it wasn't like dangerously cold it was probably like 28 but the sun was shining so it felt pretty good how were the vibes in the line but dude i made friends the lady in front of me she brought little uh organic juice boxes that she brings for her kids and she was like handing them out damn yeah people helping people this week man it was kind of beautiful it was it was nice to see there was minus the person

who drove by and tried to convince people that they were out of water to get people to leave the line are you kidding i saw yeah that's the That's the whole – that's why the guy turned around and told me or told us that we're in the jungle now. That statement alone is something that I just love. I was irrationally mad at that. I was like – because they clearly weren't. There was like Costco, to their credit, man, they were very efficient, Chick-fil-A-like efficiency, might I say. And they had people out there like, guys, we don't have bathrooms. We don't have running water. We're limiting it to one pallet of water per family. And they kept you apprised of any changes.

It was great. Did you throw your juice box at the car that they were out of water? I stuffed it in my Filson jacket. And I found it yesterday when I went to put on my jacket. I was like, oh yeah, juice box. But yeah, uh it was interesting so I spent about three and a half hours at Costco including the line dude I went to Whole Foods yesterday got in and out like it was nothing dude Central Market was not bad if there's like an in and out on South Lamar you could have just gone to there's levels to that stop I'm already sick of you motherfucker spit narp dude shut the fuck up i will kill you whoa i'm sorry damn we need that clip randy um oh yeah my saturday night so at this point, so I hadn't showered since Tuesday. We were like, okay, this sucks.

I tried to take a – I took a washcloth shower. Oh, my God, dude. It was just so – it actually just – it somehow made it feel worse. Yeah. And I was like, dude, this is revolting. I was tracking your status by your facial hair all week. It was like, how's Dave doing based on the facial hair? And I remember seeing one video of you, and I was like, oh, Dave's down bad right now.

It got to itch mode on the neck, and that is not a stage of beard that's fun, and it's especially not fun when you can't shower and you can't do anything about it. Worst. Saturday night, I bought all that stuff from Costco. I'm like, hey, I'm going to do one of these, like, I don't know what it was. Oh, cilantro chicken burritos, the ones that you said look good. I was just sniping Dave's cart and just like thinking about what I was going to get at Costco next time I went. And those cilantro chicken burritos are definitely top of my list.

They're pretty good. Although, let me tell you, I have not done them the proper way, which is the oven, because I fired up my oven and went upstairs, check on the baby, came back down, I smelled gas. I was like, oh, that's not good. You know, gas, carbon monoxide poisoning. And went upstairs, check on the baby, came back down, I smelled gas. I was like, oh, that's not good. You know, gas, carbon monoxide poisoning. My lighter or my oven did not light. And not only did it not light, but it was spewing gas.

Ooh. And Alyssa noticed it, called the gas company, got them out, went two houses down to our neighbors, pounded two Bud Lights with them. Shout out to my neighbors. Did you have Rhodes one or roads one or no no no he was feeding on breast milk okay and um gas company dude shout out to the texas gas company i think that's what their name is very generic they were there with we almost called our company that before bunsen burner texas gas gas pipe they were there within 45 minutes hash pipe they came in with like the sensor that looked Before Bunsen burner. Texas gas. Gas pipe. They were there within 45 minutes. They came in with the sensor that looked like the Ghostbuster tool.

It was very cool. Did you find any ghosts in there? No ghosts, but some gas around the oven. So they disconnected it. Told me you can't use this anymore. No oven currently. That's cool. That stinks.

Yeah, especially under the boil notice. Luckily, we have enough water, and I think that boil notice, like Dylan said, might be lifted today. Did you get the whole thing replaced? The oven? Yeah, I might get lifted today. Damn, dude. Oh, yeah. The oven, it's cooked.

You don't have to. Appreciate that. What's the deal, natural girl? Yeah, water can't. Dude, so Saturday night, best feeling. We heard the slow drip coming from one of the faucets. And the most annoying thing about losing water is when you pop on your ring app and check out your neighbor's feed or your next door app and you see conflicting things on what you should do when you lose water.

Like, should you go out front and turn off the main connection of water, which is a thing that you can do? Or should you leave it on, but do you turn all the faucets in the on position? Or do you leave them off? People have all over the map takes a lot of people saying turn your your uh water heater off because it yeah without water it could fry and catch fire yeah it's uh there's a lot a lot a lot going on i was it's all confusing a lot and then you have people in on the feed like doing bits like so you're going on there to see like i wonder what neighborhoods have water and like on there, and the first thing you see is,

I think HEB and Chick-fil-A should run our power grid in Texas. And it's got, like, 1,000 upvotes. This is not helpful. Yeah. This is not helpful. If there's one time not to do bits, it's, like, this time. People are suffering. I want to know if Shady Hollow has water yet.

I feel like we were one of the last ones in South Austin to get it. But we got it. Yesterday's shower was great. Very lucky we didn't lose power. It was a fucking shit show. But you went from Tuesday to Saturday. Without a shower? Yeah.

Tuesday to Sunday, basically. Have you ever gone that long without a shower? That's tough. Maybe when I was training, they recruited me for Delta Force. Yeah. I kind of forgot you did that. Oh, that's tough. Maybe when I was training, they recruited me for Delta Force. Yeah. I kind of forgot you did that. Oh, that's right. I blew my knee out.

It's just a whole thing. Damn, you went a lot longer than I did. I went Tuesday to Friday, which I couldn't handle anymore. Dude, I hooked you up with that shower, though. You did, dude. Knocked it up. We just knocked on that. Did you get a haircut Friday?

I did. How were they cutting hair? Yeah, so I had an employment book for a while, and the morning of, I had to reschedule a couple times, and then Friday, I texted Teresa. I was like, are you, any chance you're open today? She goes, I sure am. No water, though, so I didn't get a wash. I just got a cut.

Oh, okay. That was my question. I guess they can't operate without water. Yeah. How'd you enjoy the new shower? Oh, okay. That was my question. I guess they can't operate without water. How'd you enjoy the new shower? Oh, my gosh. Dude, it was so luxurious. It was like a spa. My new place has an all-time shower, and that's the reason I'm renting it.

It looks very good. I could not have been happier. Yeah, Sally was there. She goes, if you want to turn the steam on here, here's how you do it. Sally, I just want to get a shower. I'm not going to steam. 30 seconds in, I'm like, I want to fucking steam. It's really hard not to be in there and steam and it was it was fantastic I feel like I was at a country club I don't know why they decided to put that shower in that in

that thing but whoever decided to make that call I'm forever grateful it's a good situation power shower is the cornerstone of any any house yeah Walk in, get it from all angles. Damn. Sounds like a Friday night for you. Getting spit roasted by water. Yeah. That's the dream. You ever taken a Swedish shower before?

What's that? It's like a full body shower. The heads of the shower go like the entire wall. And so it's just hitting you at all angles. Can I shit on the rain shower for a sec the one that's directly above your head yes terrible situation if that's the only source of

the water hitting you because you can't get you can't get the angles man you can't stand the rain it you got to have an angle with the water shooting you to get to get all the to get all your your dirty spots and all that i agree need it to be coming in at an angle. When was the last time you took an outdoor shower, like at the beach or something? Oh, that's the best. Those are so sick. You always have to because remember, you're Mr. No Towel on the Beach guy for some reason. You just go lay right in the sand.

No, I don't mean the shower to rinse off at the beach. He kicks off his sneakers and just sits his ass in the sand. I mean like at your dwelling, there's an outdoor shower that you get, you know, soap and all that shit. Those are sick. My pipes didn't bust, sadly. Oh, about the bust? Just kidding. Anything else?

About the bust? I did. I was really not. I was lacking confidence in the rap job I did on the towels. Lord have mercy, I'm about to bust. It's really not funny for all the people that had busted pipes out there. I'm so thankful that I didn't have to deal with any of that. The video tech came out all week.

Tough. It was nightmare fuel, man. I've never seen anything like it. The Dallas apartment complex with the car. Oh, my God. Which, hopefully the car is fine, but it was one of the funnier things I saw last week. From my experience, the car is probably drivable, but that thing's never going to be the same. It's going to smell forever.

Yeah, what are the lingering effects from that? I think a lot of mildewy smells. Like, that thing was coated in water. Okay. I guess once everything thaws out and the engine's going to be fine, all that stuff. I don't know. I would assume that, like— Elect't know. I would assume that like – Electrical stuff.

I would assume that it would still work after – The battery might be toast. Yeah, battery's done. Yeah. You're going to have to replace that bitch. Yeah, we make jokes, but this thing was not pretty. No. People died.

No, and I would say like you guys had it worse than me. I don't want to say I'm thankful you had it worse than me, but I'm glad that – You had it on the front end hard, no power. Yeah, yeah. My first 36 hours were so miserable, and then by us moving locations... I'll just do that. My weekend of fun time. Yeah, when we finally moved locations, it was better.

And then we actually, on Friday night was our last night at our new location, and we knew that we had to go back to our old place because we got tired of asking the people at our apartment to go check on it for us. And we went back, and I have to to admit i didn't do much this weekend i i had i had tummy issues all weekend because the diet that i had through the week just eating like shit i could not have eaten more microwavable meals than i ate throughout this entire process i was eating cereal and frozen nuggets from parks i was eating dino nuggets for dinner one night it was just not pretty i told you on the live stream when i ate that one night i had the i had state fair mini corn dogs and frozen pf

chang's egg rolls for dinner sounds kind of dope honestly dude it it hit it's pretty good yeah it was just brutal yeah i didn't really do too much i actually had a couple drinks with micah the other night and uh on saturday we we watched some ACL live performances which seemed like we were, it felt like we were pretty washed at that point. It was like, you know what, like we're just two dudes in their mid-thirties just sitting here watching Gary Clark Jr. perform at ACL.

Was he shredding? Of course he was shredding. If you turned it up loud enough it would have melted the ice. Yeah, I was trying to see, I was actually at that concert, I was trying to see if I could see myself but considering I was like two rows from the back they didn't really show me they didn't have a steadicam on your boy weird how that works yeah then yesterday just casual sunday just did nothing it was wonderful i didn't do anything this weekend it was kind of i played i played more video games on saturday because we finally had power then i think i've played the rest of 2021 combined. I just had nothing to do.

It's beautiful. That's it. Okay. Nothing exciting. I did watch the sailing. What did you guys think of the sailing? Pretty exciting product cup on Saturday night. We were in for dance. Oh.

Sorry. It's like almost a bit for me at this point to just submit really, like, niche sporting events in order for you guys to, like, just not respond to me in the too much. You know what? You got wrong because KJ and i and i think dylan was in the game we like i go i started laughing and k just started laughing at the same time and i we were both laughing at your text and we didn't respond so like the next morning i checked it and like it was just the last thing in the group text was your your joke and i'm like oh man will got

he got wrong because he definitely got the laughs. I was hoping one person would at least respond and be like, oh, I'm going to toss this on. I didn't do it. Dude, the thing is the boats don't even touch the water, dude. Oh, I've seen those things. Oh. Do you even hydrofoil? Dude, that's crazy how those work.

You know why I didn't watch it? I, for some reason, put on, put on Best of Adam Sandler SNL. That makes sense. And I was just sitting there watching. There was a couple sketches I don't remember, but I was just watching that. That was how I closed my Saturday. Last night, I watched a Frasier episode I'd never seen before. Isn't that a good feeling?

It humbled me. I was like, what's going on? Did I just skip over a couple episodes of season three? Are you not even a Frasier fan? People are asking. Major NARP vibes. Would you rather be NARP or NARC? NARC.

Damn. Because you can't recover from being a NARP, dude. Your NARP is to Micah's NARC. You can fight your way out of being a NARP territory, but once you're NARC, that label just follows you around. I mean, that's fair. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

Can we talk about Harry's real quick? Please. Old but new sponsor alert. Old but new sponsor alert. Dude, let's go. Too often we're choosing between quality or a fair price with Harry's you don't have to choose. They give you award-winning blades at factory direct prices. I actually got a bunch of Harry's in the mail the other day.

If I'm being honest, I've been clinging to my old Harry's raise that I've had for way too long, and I'm not wanting to replace it with something else, and finally they sent the new package, and I got maybe a little too excited about it. Dylan, you didn't have to be clinging to it because Harry's delivers a close, comfortable shave at a fair price of only $2 per refill. Ah, yes. For $2, you wouldn't have to cling anymore. Okay.

Dude, so I shaved my first shower. I was like, I've got to shave. I've got the neck beard. I'm itching. Used that new Harry's razor. It was a top three shave of all time for me. Wow. It was like a hot knife through butter.

Oh, dude, it felt so good. Look at me now. They believe in quality so much that they bought their own factory in Germany so they could own every step of the manufacturing process. No middleman. No one's buying factories in Germany. Yeah, you don't just buy. That's like us buying a soundboard factory.

You don't do that. No one's doing that. It's such a flex. Yeah. And I feel like if you are going to buy a factory built on efficiency, I feel like Germany is a place to do it. Yeah. Known for their blades over there.

The Autobahn. I was going to say, take the Autobahn to work. Or just like Chick-fil-A. Not really a German thing, but it's very efficient. Man. Yeah. Why don't they make the power? I don't know.

They also have 100% quality guarantee. They stand behind the quality of their blades so much They also have a 100% quality guarantee. They stand behind the quality of their blades so much that they have their 100% money-back guarantee at Harrys.com. I use their shaving cream, too. Ooh, it's nice. It's a thick lather. Yeah. A lot of people, that's one thing that a lot of guys are afraid to switch up

because once you find one that works for you, it's like, I don't want to switch with this, even if you go with the new razor. I was like that early on, but now I'm using it, and look at me. I look hot. Do you ever use their aftershave face mist? Dude, I use it when I don't even shave. It is a delight. It's like being at a spa.

It really is. It smells like a spa. It's actually my favorite product they offer. It's sick. There are some times where I'll feel a little, I don't know, gross or something. It's a pick favorite product they offer. It's sick. There are some times where I'll feel a little gross or something. It's a pick-me-up. And then I'll just do a little face spritz, and I'm like, oh, I feel like a new man right now. Over here spritzing.

Dude, do you know where they source their blades from? Sweden. Oh, Sweden, yes. Where's that? It's in the Finland-Norway area, right? Oh, Sweden. Yes. It's fine.

For a limited time, Harry's has an exclusive offer for listeners of our show. New customers can get a Harry's starter set and free body wash for just $3 at harrys.com slash circling back. That's an over $16 value for just $3. That's a $2 bill and a $1 bill. Wow, good point. You'll get a five-blade razor, weighted handle, that foaming shave gel, a travel cover, which don't underrate the travel cover.

I won't. And a travel-size body wash. It's an incredible deal, but act fast while supplies last. Go to harrys.com slash circling back to redeem your offer. We have a little something on the rundown right now called Dave Segment. Dave, do you want to introduce Dave Segment? Yeah, this is Dave Segment. Today I'd like to talk about something that is related to what we were talking about previously in This Weekend in Fun,

but it's about being prepared. And let today be the first day and let me be the first to announce that I will, going forward, be more prepared because I am going to be a prepper. Are you doomsday? I'm not doomsday, but I'm bad day. Bad day meaning no water and having a tub that I'm having to fill the back of my toilet with and potentially no electricity. Now, I looked into buying a generator.

Turns out they are hilariously expensive. Now there's like thousand dollar ones. I was going to say, then there's like $15,000. You could also get like a $300 one that'll last you like two hours, which probably, I mean, it has its, its purpose. Right. But I realized even though I, we were good on food because I went to the store we weren't good on water and I thought about it maybe I should get water didn't and I need to just have I need to be more prepared because I did that was that was one of the weirdest weeks ever and if I mean I think about people who don't have like a good you know family or community to like rely on to like help like with anything I could have been an absolute shit show.

And with an infant at home, a three-week-old baby, that could have been really bad. So you were dropping some knowledge in the group text over last weekend about the potential bad things happening during this storm. Power outage. Like when we're going to get back in the studio. I mean, this is no offense to you, Dave, but the northerner came out in me and i was like dude dave is just being over the top right now this is so like we're gonna be in the studio this

year listen yeah i was just like dude we're gonna be in the studio this week like this is not a big deal and then like pretty much tuesday night came and i was like yeah dave was absolutely right about 100 of the things that he dropped in the group text. I just felt real ashamed of myself. No, it's okay. You're not aware of how inefficient Texas is with a lot of this stuff. This was, I mean, to be fair, it's like a 50-year storm, 100-year storm, whatever year.

It never happens like that here. Some people are saying we're going into a nice age just put it out there damn we found those rhinos back like over in russia or whatever the woolly rhino oh yeah that's right that's kind of tight okay i support you in this day i mean once you start like like stuck in like ammunition and that's when you become like a doomsday prepper i I don't think that's what you're going to do. How do you know I haven't already done that? You keep that thing on you. I don't know.

You pack that thing, too. You keep the Thule. I have a piece. You got the one from 1938. You have a piece. Everybody got guns. Sorry. Yeah.

But, yeah, I'm not stockpiling ammo. Ammo is hard to come by these days. Let me just say that. I wouldn't know. I haven't bought it in a very long time. But, yeah. Oh, not stockpiling ammo. Ammo is hard to come by these days. Let me just say that. I wouldn't know. I haven't bought it in a very long time. But, yeah. Oh, some guy in my DMs. Shout out to whoever you are.

He said, Dave, I can hook you up with a Glock and a Kevlar vest. I was like, I don't know if I'm going to need the vest. Whoa. But. What? I mean, depending on your price point, I might be interested in this vest. Your DMs during this are so much different than mine. I posted a couple photos from just having no power, and a dude hit me up, and he was like,

dude, did you take those with an actual camera? I have another camera that you can just have. He's a photographer. So he's sending me a camera, and Dave's getting Kevlar vests over here. You're getting a camera? A point-and-shoot, dog. What are you getting? Nothing.

A shit. Dave's pointing and shooting with his Thule, and I'm pointing and shooting with my little camera. We are not the same. Actually, I shouldn't say that. Me and Will are going to be a problem when the apocalypse comes. Apocalypse? That's what they used to call you. They called me.

That's on Dylan's internet history. Dude, I'm just walking out with a shotgun, and Will's taking photos. I'm the wartime photographer. Just in case you can upload those at some point when we get internet back. Gosh. If there was a big revolt in Austin, I would have been like, no, I'm the wartime photographer. Just in case you can upload those at some point when we get internet back. If there was a big revolt in Austin, I would have been like, no, I'm the wartime photographer, guys. Just let me sit over here and take the shots. Snip, snap.

We're not doing snip, snap. Hold up, pose. Dylan, can you zip your Kevlar vest up a little bit? It's kind of a fit. Can you stay up in that tower just a little bit longer? I want to... Okay. Tower?

I was thinking of Saving Private Ryan. Oh. The tragic tower scene, which is a great scene. It's a tough scene to watch. Tough scene, but he did some work with that bolt action. Oh, he'd keep the Thule on him. I'm more of a Two Towers guy. Those orcs, dude, they were fucking shit up.

Randy knows. Stop looking at me. I know, too. I'm more of a Two Towers guy. Those orcs, dude, they were fucking shit up. Randy knows. Stop looking at me. I know, too. I'm lost. Oh, I know. I need to be better about keeping water at all times. Canned goods. Thank God I had a microwave, by the way.

Remember, I didn't have a microwave until like two months ago. Yeah, I think our last Dave segment was you announcing that you bought a microwave. Yeah, it turns out it's all links together. Last Dave segment was him announcing that he's in on baked potatoes now, which is huge. A lot of people DM me after that segment like, Dave, I thought about what you said about the baked potatoes. It kind of changed the game for me. I'm not going to lie. After that segment, I was craving baked potatoes pretty hard.

No one craves baked potatoes. I've never craved a baked potato. Now maybe a Spud Ranch baked potato. Sam Marcus, Dylan, don't act like you don't know. I never went there. Okay. More of a Bud Ranch guy. You know what I mean? That's hitting the bong. Yeah, that concludes Dave's

segment. Do you want to do a little special, Seggie, right now? If somebody knows of a good affordable generator that I could have and that could actually come into a generation. My buddy got really – got a little boozed up in Houston. He lost power and water and ordered one. He's like, I forgot I ordered this generator. Do you think the city of Austin is going to take steps to remedy and be better prepared for this situation if it were to happen again you got to think so right winterize the system whatever that entails i don't think i don't think that's their

their call i think it's a state issue so i mean i think austin all in all i think the city of austin handled it okay like austin water i know Will was saying they had some sassy tweets, but they were better than ERCOT, which is like the people who run the grid responsible for the power in Texas. They were giving you updates. They had maps showing you where the outages were. That's helpful. Did you all see the Ted Cruz photo op?

Dude, he crushed that. Dude, he's just carrying water and putting it into somebody's trunk. I could have done that myself, Ted. What a dickhead. I could have gotten that. Too little, too late, Ted. He had to drop his daughters off. He should have just backed away from

everything at that point. Just stay in Cancun and just hope that... Just return in three weeks from Cancun when people aren't talking about you anymore. He sends a selfie from the beach holding a margarita. Yeah. Like what I was thinking, like what if he didn't have service like until he got down there? He didn't upgrade his phone plan because he couldn't have like power or something.

And then he just got down there and was like, oh, I'm going to check my mentions on Twitter. Oh, every. Oh, no. Dude, every group text. Every group text, if you lived in Dallas, Houston, or Austin, San Antonio, your group text sent the Ted Cruz hair from Cancun meme a hundred times, and it always made me happy. Micah and I sent it at the exact same time to two different text groups. It's so funny.

And both of us pretty much prefaced it with, like, this is a really dumb meme, but it's really funny. I enjoyed it. You guys want to do a little throwback? You ready for what's about to happen here? I asked, are you ready for what's about to happen? Yeah, I can't wait. I can't wait.

What? I don't care. I'm getting wasted. Fuller, help easy on the Pepsi. Easy on the Pepsi. Easy, easy on the Pepsi. Fuller, Fuller, go easy on the Pepsi. All right, it's done.

Just kidding. There's the guy. See, you can't cut it off until we get that. Sort of feels like there's a worst weekend story incoming. Yep. Ladies and gentlemen, if you're familiar with the worst weekends, you've seen them on patreon.com slash tricklingbackpodcast before. Five bucks a month. Actually, $10 if you're optimized.

Sorry. But we got a little Worst Weekends story out of Scotland that I stumbled across this weekend. The headline here is something that you kind of can't believe. This isn't ideal, if I'm being honest. This sounds like an episode of Family Guy. So if you're not familiar with Worst Weekends, it's something that we've done on Patreon numerous times. I think there's

some free episodes out there as well. But it's we just talk about people who are down bad for the weekend. And I think we're actually going to be doing some more moving forward after The Bachelor's done. What are you smiling about? Ladies and gentlemen, the weekend. That might need to make the soundboard.

Yeah, for this weekend and fun. If you have a worst weekend story of your own that's not just a news story, please send it in to worstof at watchmedia.com. I'm trying to aggregate some of these stories, and I thought no better way to ease back in than talk about this woman in Scotland who bit off a man's tongue in a street brawl before a seagull swooped down and ate that man's tongue. I just have a million questions here.

I think I'm not enough answers to go around. I got to know everything. Can I read the byline? A man who had a large chunk of his tongue bitten off by a female thug was left horrified when a seagull sweeped down and ate it. James McKenzie spat out a piece of his tongue onto the street after bethany ryan 27 had ripped it off with her teeth during an incident in edinburgh how do you get into uh how do you let someone that close kiss fight was it a kiss fight

imagine brawling and someone just starts biting on your tongue don't you remember when william wallace challenged the king to a kiss fight? And that's when they invaded? Yeah, yeah. The king walked away with a bunch of blue paint all over his face. I don't understand how you let someone in your grill that closely. Well, James McKenzie definitely did. It says, then the gull flew down and grabbed the muscle. I don't like that they refer to it as a muscle.

Making off before the injured man could retrieve it. The Edinburgh Sheriff's Court was told about the grizzly incident which left the victim maimed for life when ryan appeared in the dock to plead guilty to the attack on thursday uh more information on this it says prosecutor susan dixon said the pair clashed as they passed each other on lathe walk around 8 p.m on oh this so this is oh this this is an old story I apologize maybe this just got all sorted out now but whatever uh Miss Dixon said the pair were strangers but an argument developed between them and uh the court heard that he tried to walk away from the confrontation but it continued and uh Ryan approached her with a

clenched fist at which point point she bit his tongue off. Yeah. This might have been a kiss fight based on what they say here. Miss Ryan somewhat oddly responded to that by pushing him on the body and kissing him. So she did do a kiss fight. It was a kiss fight. So he threw some tongue. He did throw some tongue.

He was like, how else would she get to it? Maybe this is how she gets down. If you're ever in a fight, whether it's a kiss fight or otherwise, an OU bathroom fight, for example, and somebody kisses you, better keep that tongue in your own mouth because they're going for that tongue. You packed that thing too. Wait. This is so confusing. So she kissed him on the lips and then she bit through his tongue, which caused a piece of his tongue to be removed. Mr. McKenzie walked off and spat part of his tongue out,

at which point the piece of it was picked up by a large seagull who made off with it. The size of it was approximately 2 centimeters by 3 centimeters in size. I don't know how the metric system works, but I imagine that any centimeters of your tongue ripped off is not ideal. It converts to about four inches. How many centimeters long is your tongue in the first place? Twelve inches. You got that Gene Simmons tongue, Dylan.

Maybe. What's it to you? I just... I'm just trying to picture how this all went down. My mind is just in a million pieces. Imagine not getting in a fight with somebody and then shoving him on the ground and kissing him. First of all, why is he...

To his credit, he said he tried to walk away, and hopefully that's true. To go from that to her just jumping on him and kissing him, the whole thing is just... I can't make sense of it. What color is a giraffe's tongue, Will? Ugg knows.

It's blue. Giraffe's tongue is blue, Dylan. I don't know if that's true. It's true. Sources say that if the fight continued, she was going to do a low blow. What? The joke here is that she was going to presumably bite his penis off.

Right? Yeah. Okay. Hopefully, like, he wasn't going to let it get to that. That'd be weird. Just 8 p.m. in the middle of, like, a very large, busy city, and you're just getting topped on the sidewalk on the cobblestone. Jeez.

The bagpipers plan. We've got to put a muzzle on this lady. Yeah, I hope she, like... She's got some issues, man. She needs the Hannibal Lecter chair. This is not normal behavior. I think they should take part of her tongue and put it on his tongue. Tongue for a tongue.

Mm-hmm. That's what the Bible says. Why did the seagull take the tongue? Because he was hungry, dude. You don't just eat tongue. Oh, my God. The goony sweet tongue. Was the seagull just flying over like,

oh, this is about to be advantageous for me? If I've learned anything from this weekend, I should have talked about this during my fucking weekend and fun. Don't mess with birds, dude. We have this goose at our place. It's the most alpha goose I've ever seen in my entire life. Geese are aggressive. You know that, right?

Yeah. Okay. Yes, Dylan. It chased me into my car the other day. Let's go. I tried. I almost took out my phone to record it because I did the recording the night before of Rosie having to stand up with it.

It's kind of exciting. Every time you leave, you might get attacked by a bird. No, dude. It's not exciting. It's on your toes. So when we were packing up our stuff to leave to go back to our apartment, I was loading the car up, and I looked over, and the goose was trapped in our parking garage. And so I was like, this isn't great. I kind of want to help this thing out of the parking garage. I didn't know he was down bad like that. He was down bad. I knew he didn't

have the sideline gig anymore, but Tony Saragusa was, I don't know, at one point he made pretty good money. He was just hanging out in your garage. The goose was feeling loose. No, so I'm packing stuff in the car and it starts looking at me and starts doing, like, the goose noise that they do. I don't know how to do it. Do it. Go ahead. I don't know how to do it. Mean, dude.

Yeah, it's not bad. And it got within two feet of me, at which point I was like, okay, this is too close for comfort. And I think Sally fed it a piece of bread the other day because she felt bad for it, and I got very mad at her. I was like, do not feed this goose under any circumstances because now it just thinks that it's part of the squad. You should let him inside. Get out of the cold, man. Sally's got the Cole Campbell line of thinking.

Everybody eats. Everybody eats. Everybody eats. You think the goose threw its little goose feathers on its hips and was like, well, I flew south for the winter, and winter's still here. I can't believe I flew south for this. You know, goose feathers keep you very warm. Yeah, goose down.

Yeah, exactly. Goose down bad. So he was equipped for the weather. I guess. I think. I don't know. I think he had an attitude. He tried to bite my tongue off when I started kissing it.

They got a lot of attitude. I kissed the goose. I pinned it down by its wings and I started making out with it. You should goose the goose. Ooh, I don't want to put my finger there. You ever seen goose poop, man? This stuff stinks. It's very liquidy.

It's everywhere, too. Stop. They hold no punches when they do do. Dude, birds in general. Dude. Birds be pooping. Birds can kind of be assholes, man. Birds are the biggest assholes.

Oh, freaking Stella caught a bird the other day. Go off, Stella. And I had it pinned down. I was like, dude, let this little bird up, man. What are you doing, dog? What kind was it? I don't know. It was in the snow, and this bird was flying real low to the ground,

and she ran after it. I was like, yeah, she's not going to catch it. Oh, she caught it. Damn. I had to go help the bird up with my little hand. Didn't you say you went to San Marcos so you could get pinned down by some birds? I don't even know what that means. Oh, my God.

I don't know what that means. Is that what you did? No. Jeez. What are we talking about? Do you think that maybe that, maybe she was trying to baby bird food into that guy's mouth and then- Maybe.

Like a meat pie? Yeah, like a meat. Is that what they eat? Some fish and chips? Yeah. This was in Scotland? Scotland. She was they eat? Some fish and chips? Yeah. This was in Scotland? Scotland. She was baby burning the fish and chips.

This lady's got problems, man. She's a baddie. You don't just bite tongs. She's a baddie. Kind of into it, to be honest. That's too cray. Dude, we got an announcement. New announcement alert?

Are you ready for this? Dylan, do the thing, dude. Oh, shit. Sorry. New sponsor. New sponsor alert. I've had a couple people tell me that my new sponsor alert bit is really unfunny, and I absolutely agree, but that just makes me want to keep doing it.

It's so bad. I enjoy it. It's really bad. I enjoy it. You guys ever working out, and you're just like, damn, I am flexing right now. Absolutely beast mode. A lot. Yeah.

Weekly. There's NARPs out there that won't understand what we're talking about. But if you're putting up big boy weight, you know exactly what we're talking about. If you're a NARP, just go ahead and skip ahead. This is not for you. There's no for NARPs, too. No, this is for NARPs that are trying to get out of being a NARP. Yeah.

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Imagine doing it in standard def. Couldn't be me. No. It's embarrassing. It integrates with other fitness and health apps like Apple Health, Dylan. Fitbit. You guys are Strava boys, right? I do Strava occasionally.

What's Strava? Tractor? I do Strava occasionally. What's Strava? Tractor runs. Yeah, it's a running one. Oh, okay. Remember when Dave went through his running phase? He was doing like three miles a day back in the early quarantine. I did six once and I couldn't walk for a week.

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What's up with these dogs, man? This is unbelievable. Dude, the dogs are out. Who let them out? I think the police. So a dog in Ohio helped authorities find cornflakes that were frosted with 44 pounds of cocaine. That's a hell of a pre-workout in the morning. It must require a lot of frosted flakes.

It says customs authorities in Ohio say a dog helped intercept a shipment of cereal earlier this month with special frosting. Cocaine. U.S. Customs and Border Protection officers in Cincinnati reported that finding 44 pounds of cocaine-coated corn flakes that had been shipped from South America to a Hong Kong home. Is this really how they're doing it? Moving weight? I don't know. I just started watching Narcos Mexico season two last night,

and they haven't done the cornflakes method yet. How do you get the cocaine off of the cornflake? That's always the fun part is thinking about how they go about saving the drug, but like getting rid of the flake or whatever it is, you know, like with tennis balls, it's easy. It's in the tennis ball, but this is a frosting. I think I'm buying tennis balls for the wrong sport. Do you remember when you texted me about that? Yes. I still don't get why you would smell. Is it because of the smell of tennis balls that overwhelms the smell of cocaine? That I don't know.

It seems like it would make sense because everyone likes the smell of tennis balls. Wait, what's the theory here? You stuff the tennis ball with cocaine and it covers the scent? That's kind of what my brain is telling me how it works. How would that work? I think it's just an easy way because, you know, tennis balls, you can stuff them. They're hollow. I get that part of it.

Yeah, I think they're easy to reseal on like a baseball or something. Well, it's not... There's different kinds of balls. Is that why Djokovic always gets so pissed off at the ref? Did he win? He won Aussie Open? I don't know.

In movies, you always hear about coffee. Girl Naomi did, though. I saw that. She absolutely flexed on the other girl. What do you go by? Oh, okay, Jen. I was watching that live, and I busted out laughing, and I was just like, oh my God, the disrespect that just happened here.

I know. In movies, you always hear about coffee covering up the scent of cocaine. Didn't you say you've started mixing in more cocaine instead of coffee in the morning just because it gives you that boost that you need? No, I didn't say that. Don't do blow in the morning. I didn't say that, Will. Blow in the morning is just depressing. I don't even do it in the evening, David, so I don't know what you're talking about. If you do blow in the sun, it's done. Power well. Blow in the morning is just depressing. I don't even do it in the evening, David, so I don't know what you're talking about. If you do blow

in the sun, power lunch. Nope, that'll do it. Well, the Corn Flakes had a street value of about $2.8 million.

Those are some expensive-ass Corn Flakes. Damn. I'm surprised there weren't some grocery stores selling Corn Flakes for that much in Austin

this last week. Price gouging. It's a real problem. Did you see the guy's electric bill, by the way? Is this just a... Dude. Or gas bill, I don't know which the guy's electric bill, by the way? Or gas bill? I don't know which one it was. Do you just move and not pay it? Do you just get rid of your house?

Are we going to get hit with an astronomical bill? No, it's only the people that are on that weird program. Yeah, it's a bad deal. There's no way. Set up a GoFundMe. He'll raise that money. That's bullshit. I just don't understand how you can owe that much. I mean, how they can... Whatever. It's a systematic issue, Dave. It's inhumane. It's just terrible.

I'm against it. Wow. That's big of you. So who got pinched here? Hard to say. Probably the people smuggling the cocaine. That was their punishment uh i'm reading yeah that was that david i don't think they have a punishment yet i think they just got caught okay i don't you're the lawyer here how long does it take to prosecute people

that have a lot of cocaine on them just like an hour it's a real speedy process that's probably pretty easy no i'm very interested in this. And you said this is by way of Hong Kong? This is crazy, man. Yeah. Okay. So this travel, this thing made its rounds. It's Coke.

It came down from Cincinnati. Cocaine. Two days by the train? Mm-hmm. Dude, shouts to Jimmy Buffett. Why is it the color that it is? It's like brown. Yeah, apparently it's like a brown substance or something. I don't know.

I don't get why it was brown. Brett's in here now. It's more like heroin. I'm just noticing how voluminous his hair looks. Dude, Brett's been having some hair days lately. I missed the last few weeks of Brett's hair. Thanks, guys. Yeah, it's one of those, the mornings that I come back from H-Town, Houston, not Horny.

Horny Town. Thank you. When I come back, I shower in the morning, but I don't blow dry. So when it air dries, it's a little sketchy. So I have to pump it up with some product. Well, Sally offered you a new blow dryer if you want to just take that. I said I'm in, and then we have since not communicated. Well, something happened in Austin which made it pretty hard to squat up with one another.

But I think that hair dryer is still earmarked for you in our bathroom if you want it. It's a nice hair dryer. Sally doesn't fuck around with a hair dryer. Is it Vidal Sassoon? I don't know what that means. You've never heard of Vidal Sassoon? What? Fancy yourself a hair guy?

Is this like Zoolander or something? Vidal Sassoon was like in Glamour magazine in 1999 when I was looking at it on the toilet. Isn't the founder of that guy an Austinite? I don't know. And like a billionaire? Vidal Sassoon? Maybe. I think I'm onto something here. Mr. Sassoon himself.

He was born in Hammersmith, London. Oh. I think he lives here now. No, he died in Bel Air in 2012. He was born in Hammersmith, London. Oh. I think he lives here now. No, he died in Bel Air in 2012. I'm thinking of someone like that, though. He died when a lady bit his tongue off. Siegel ate it. It was tough. Blood to death from his tongue.

It's too bad. I heard that story from outside. It wasn't good. No. It sounded like a family guy sketch in my head. I've never been more thankful to have a tongue than right now. A tongue would be tough to lose. I could lose a pinky. Not a tongue. Golf swing?

I'm trying to think. It depends on which pinky it is. Because I've got to interlock. And I don't want to be interlocking with my ring finger. It sounds terrible. I don't interlock. I overlap. It says a lot.

I overlap. Really? It says a lot about your swish. That's got to be a problem. You don't even play anymore. Yeah, do you even know how to play? A lot of people overlap. What are you talking about? Really? Yeah. I think Rory overlaps. So does Spieth. A lot about your speech. That's got to be a... You don't even play anymore. Yeah, do you even know how to play? A lot of people overlap. What are you talking about?

Really? Yeah. I think Rory overlaps. So does Spieth. A lot of people do. I think you chill out. How's Dave been? Dylan's already ready to go.

We've got like 20 minutes left. It's like he never missed it. I wonder why Dogecoin is trending. That's why I'm on my phone right now. It's been trending for like weeks now. Oh, it dropped way low, but it bounced back a little bit. How's BTC doing? I'm a BTC guy.

I don't know. Let's see. Do we have any Brett's breaking news? I have a ton of breaking news. Give us an update on Bitcoin. Sure. No, you don't have to. I'll check Coinbase.

Personal breaking news. The place that opened up for the oak below me has now opened up Pho MPH. Pho MPH? Pho. Yeah. So it's an Asian kitchen. Had it this weekend. Very good.

They decided to do a grand opening starting on Sunday. That's big. Sally loves Pho, so you can expect to see her over at your place all the time. I always say if you open up at the bottom of an apartment building, you're going to do great things. Yep. Better get in there while you can. It is historically batting about 25% there. I said Dylan, an old tweet of mine from Darcy's Donkey the other day,

it said, hey, Dylan, I don't think this place is going to last. I think they shut down the month after I sent that tweet. Oh, I miss that place. It's too bad. Well, you know the founder, what happened, right? The founder was back home in Scotland, got his tongue bit off by some chick. He couldn't do the pies anymore. He could.

He lost his tongue in a tongue fight. Scotland? A kiss fight. Scotland? A kiss fight. Freedom. Dylan. What's up, dude? Would you like to go hard seltzers, 90s pop duos, cheese, or Gwyneth Paltrow? Gwyneth Paltrow, please.

As long as it's not about a candle that smells like her vagina. Close. Randy, you help me out here. It smells like cheese. I slack Randy a picture to put up on the thing, and it doesn't go well. Anyway, Will and your favorite Gwyneth Paltrow, her startup Goop. You're aware of it, right? I'm aware of it, yes.

I have a constant beef with them. Yeah, she came out with a vibrator. Okay. She said that we need to de-stigmatize women's sexual health. She's just so edgy. She just watched The Bachelor. She saw what Katie did. Super edgy.

So she's the vibrator girl, right? Yeah, I forgot her name. Katie? Check it out tomorrow, by the way, if you're into that. Circling batch. She said that women's vibrators have been too phallic and joke-like in nature, so she wanted to build one that was smart and aesthetically pleasing. We should have those in the studio.

This looks like Miley Cyrus sang out of it in a Black Mirror episode. This is like a karaoke microphone you would buy for like a... I don't know. I'm just not going to go where I want to go. I don't know much about vibrators, but I know enough to know that I don't think this one's breaking the mold here.

I feel like there's several different types out there that aren't too phallic looking. Well, it's $95 and it's sold out already because Gwyneth said she didn't expect the demand. Thank you for zooming in, Randy. That was really helpful. They definitely expect the demand. Yeah, thank you, Randy, for making it larger on the screen.

In the same New York Times interview, took credit for wearing masks first before anybody else. And also getting corona before anybody else. Wow. She's a trailblazer. We had a fourth grade teacher in our elementary school who wore masks all the time. So Gwyneth, I got news for you. Mrs. Snyder was way ahead of you.

It's actually fairly common in Asia. Super common. Very common. Especially traveling. So why don't you just slow down, Glenn. Does she just have a crazy high opinion of herself? What's going on here with her? Absolutely.

Is she just beefing with Future? He's the mascot. Why is everyone jumping on this thing? No pun intended. Why is this one so popular? Because Gwyneth Paltrow made it? It's Gwyneth Paltrow. Have you seen Royal Tenenbaums?

It's her best role. I have not. Don't plan to. I want to say that you're wrong here, but I don't think you are. It's my favorite Gwyneth Paltrow. Movie or character? Character. Yeah.

I think it's her best character. Probably movie, too. I can't really think of anything that I really cared for with her in it. My favorite Gwyneth Paltrow movie is Talented Mr. Ripley. Yeah. But she's not that great in that movie. Cate Blanchett, though. Anyway, sorry, Brett.

Dave, you're a fan of 90s pop duos, right? Love it. Is this going to be about Milli Vanilli? No, it's about Daft Punk. Ah, yes. Unfortunately, they have split. After 28 long years. The creators of One More Time, that song that everybody knows.

Dylan, can you sing that for us, please? This is the one that goes, one more time. Yeah, you killed that. You made a lot of money. That was good. I did, didn't I? Wow. Yep, they're pursuing solo careers now.

They're electronic robots, so I don't know how. They do. They're ridiculous. Are you ready for these? Uh-huh. I shouldn't say ridiculous. They're not from here. Thomas Bangalter

and Guy-Manuel de Omanem Cristo. That's a mouthful. Yeah. You kind of crushed that as long as, assuming you said it correctly. First, that's one of those things

where you just put your head down and just don't stutter and everyone thinks you crushed it. Yeah. I can remember whatever the late night show on MTV was, like the After Hours, there's a name for it with like carson daly playing it no no no no no this is like late late uh the first daft punk song i

ever saw a video it's called defunct and it's just a guy walking around in a dog suit and he's just talking to people on the street and it's a really shitty dog mask it's weird but it's a good song oh my gosh around the world video is good too check that out oh yeah i mean that one slaps like if you don't does they had a good run a 20 something they had that weird i don't know i was kind of a like a little bit of a hipster about it because like when they had that resurgence they're on all the award shows yeah they had their little flare up they were good i want to see their faces they were the first ones to do the my face the mask thing i think before marshmallow anyway man barstool sports just posted a video of some dude swallowing glizzies without chewing them like one by one and

he looks like he's doing like 20 of them and it's really disturbing well you know what they say over there you just can't help yourself one one bite we're're doing a pod. Why would you do this to me? Why are you chewing on me? This is disgusting. Oh, I can't watch it. Is that not a good way to eat them? I wouldn't know, David. You're the one who brought it up.

Do they come out whole, too? I don't know what goes on once you swallow them, man. Your body just passes it on to the next, like it gets to your kidney, and he's like, nope, nope, push down the liver, whatever. Not breaking that case. Lower intestine years. Down to the colon. I he gets to your kidney, and he's like, nope. Nope. Push down the liver. Whatever. Not breaking that case. Lower intestine. Yours. Down to the colon. I know my anatomy quite well. Just pops out.

You gotta chew your glizzy, man. I'm just gonna go to the next one. You guys know, Will, you're a cheese guy, right? Big cheese guy. They used to call me the big cheese. According to Wired magazine, cheese is getting a bad reputation for no reason. Why?

It is actually healthy for you. Healthy fats, dude. People don't talk about them enough. I don't put any weight into these studies, man. Cheese. They change every six months. It has been said to be neutral at worst and even like healthy for you at best it makes you lose weight the ceiling is the roof the problem with cheese is is the uh co-founding variables

which means what you eat cheese with a lot of the time it's you know bread or pepperoni or sauce crackers or tongue but cheese by itself you're. A little melted cheese on some tongue. Here's my question, though. Yeah. Why did it take us until 2021 to figure this out? That's why I just don't buy shit like this. I think because... You don't buy cheese? Do you not know advances in science? Has the science not been there

for a while to know if cheese is good for you or not? Did you see that one company got a massive investment for their science of making meats out of nothing? that's a that's diff that's completely different that's like that's like groundbreaking uh developments in food production this is like we've cheese has been around for a minute you know like why what the hell i think people were just scared to say constantly evolving dylan shut up do you not believe in science? I'm a big science guy, dude. Fucking beakers and shit.

You know what an Erlenmeyer flask is, dumbass. I am the flask. Dylan, the science guy. Dylan. They used to call it that. That's why you came up with Bunsen burner media, right? No, I didn't. That was this dude over here. Don't give him that stolen value.

I don't want it. It's mine. Dylan's idea was just call it media company. Dylan's like, I think because if people Google media Company, we'd be the first one to show up. It's really good for SEO, I think. It's not true. Media Company Company would have been like it. And Elon Musk.

Media Company Incorporated Limited Partnership. That sounds like the agency they buy. Actually. Speaking of, you guys are aware of Vizzy, right? I know this is kind of an added value Yeah We're aware of Vizzy We got a little sneak peek

Let's go Breaking news on the new Vizzy flavors By the way, the number five hard seltzer in the United States That's all going to change after this summer That's done after this summer You want my take? It's the hardest seltzer. Wow. I didn't want to be one coming into the summer.

No, no. Underdog stores are so much more fun. No, no. You don't want to front run. No. No. Number five is perfect. Anyway.

They're new flavors. Dylan, are you ready for these? Oh, please. Tell me. Number one. Blackberry lemon. Blackberry lemon. I'll drink anything with blackberry in it.

That's sexy. Can I just say it? That's sexy. Yeah, it's sexy. Number two, papaya passion fruit. That's going to slap. Are they getting rid of the old flavors? No.

Oh, so Blue Pommy's still on the table here. Oh, yeah. We're still there. These are just add-ons. Papaya passion fruit? No one's doing double P's. I need a mic thing for that. A pop filter.

Number three. Strawberry watermelon. Like strawberry watermelon. We'll fuck with. Yep. That's going to be good. That's just going to be your run of the mill. That's going to be one that people are reaching for first when they see a cooler full of it

on like a pontoon boat. And you'll be like, I will gladly take the blackberry lemon. Thank you very much. Those are typically two of the more popular candy flavors. Jolly Rancher, I'm thinking of. Sure. Watermelon Jolly Ranchers are delightful. They're my faves.

Speaking of, did you guys cover the Sour Patch Kids incident from this week? We might have talked about it. Okay. Might have talked about it a little bit. We're Sour Patch Kids people now. We're flirting online. Keep an eye out. Number four.

And this may be raspberry tangerine. Sign me up. This is the most controversial, but it's the one that's got me the most excited. I'm intrigued. That's a low-round draft pick that has a lot of potential. Yeah. Fun fact about raspberries. You ready for this?

Sure. Sixth grade, I was the only kid in our reading class who knew how to spell raspberry, and I went straight to the school- wide spelling bee because everyone got it wrong except for me. That P really bothers me. People forget about the P? It bothers me. People forget about the P?

Yes they do. No one pronounces the P in raspberry. Never forget about the P. Eyes on the P. Raspberry? No one says that. It's because that's not

how it's pronounced. It's a silent P. Is it though? Real P's move in silence like raspberry. Is it actually a silent P or do people just like run it all together?

You can't have P and B next to each other. Can't. Real G's move in silence like a gnocchi. run it all together? You can't have P and B next to each other. Can't. Real Gs move in silence like a gnocchi. Shut the fuck up. No, you know what I'm saying. You can't have P and B next to each other in a word. That's my take today.

It's hot. It's a good take. Good take? It's a good take. I heard you were dishing out good points earlier. Oh, yeah. I have a lot of them. Okay.

They also had their lemonade variety pack coming out this year, which I might have discussed on a previous podcast. So the glizzy flavored ones that were running around the internet recently, those were fake? I'll say this. That made it high level at Miller Coors. Okay. Oh, it did? It did, yeah.

Did you have to explain it? No. No. Upper Echelon reached out. The, it did? It did, yeah. Did you have to explain it? No, Upper Echelon reached out. The Lemonade Variety Pack is going to be a problem. It was HR, but it made it up there. Upper Echelon was like, was it a spaceship? They took their spaceship.

Yeah, it made it to some folks. The kids love to do memes. Yeah, kids love to do memes. The Lemonade Variety Pack is going to be a problem when you're just pounding them in a pool somewhere, and then you get out of the pool, and you're like, oh, whoa. I peeped your new pool, by the way. It's a situation. How'd it go?

You peed in his pool? I peeped it. Oh, okay. I was going to say. I didn't pee. I probably will this summer, though. You know what I'm drinking Vizzies in there? Your phone's not going to be working this summer when I'm inviting people to the pool.

Here's what the lemonades are. Strawberry, peach, watermelon, and raspberry. I'm excited for the peach one. Let's go. Peach lemonade's going to hit. Strawberry lemonade. That's it. That's the one.

Watermelon lemonade might hit different. It might be the most refreshing out of the bunch, if I'm being honest. Is that concluded? That's good breaking news, man. That concludes breaking news. And if they're not i don't three maybe can we go to can we go from five we're getting them up there because what a certain w seltzer is entrenched you know it's getting really tough to beat but not just saying i like our

perch bite their tongues off yeah yeah yeah i don't want to start at number one. I mean, because there's nothing to work towards. In that hypothetical fight, Will, that you just referenced, who are you? Are you the seagull or are you the tongue biter? Who looks worse? It's hard to say. I think I might be the seagull who picks up the tongue and does away with it. Just an opportunistic seagull. Cool.

I think it's time to get out of here, honestly. Let's get the hell out of here, guys. We'll see you guys tomorrow for Circling Batch on Patreon. Patreon.com slash Circling Back Podcast. Doing all things Batch tomorrow. Also, don't forget to go stream Welcome to Wilmont on Spotify. We'll see you guys later. Bye.

See ya. Oh, no. to Wilmont's on Spotify. We'll see you guys later. Bye.