Circling Back - Big Spooky & The Horny Police

Episode Date: September 23, 2020

Some absolutely absurd Halloween decorations, Rory McIlroy loves him some Domin's pizza, Brett loves himself some cheap salsa, Dillon's all in on Christian Girl Autumn (again), reading some of our best recent reviews, and This Weekend in Fun presented by Miller High Life. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (20:04) Big Spooky's Halloween Decorations (30:40) Small Biz September (34:35) Rory McIlroy Loves Domino's (49:53) Our Best Recent Reviews (56:58) This Weekend in Fun presented by Miller High Life MeUndies: www.meundies.com/circlingback (15% off + free shipping) Manscaped: www.manscaped.com (STEAM for 20% off + free shipping) Miller High Life: The Champagne of Beers. A quality beer within everyone’s reach. Splash City: www.splashcitygolf.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name's will defreeze my right david ruff shout out to all the redheads out there as it is national redhead appreciation day more importantly though it's national dogs and politics day Shout out to all the redheads out there as it is National Redhead Appreciation Day. More importantly, though, it's National Dogs in Politics Day. Wow. To all the dogs that are in politics, shout out to you as well. I don't know of any. What was W's dog?

That Mitch McConnell guy's a dirty dog. W had a really good looking dog, right? Was it Barney? It was Barney. Or was that Obama? Bush had a couple dogs, didn't he? He had Barney, a Scottish Terrier. I thought he had more than one.

Obama had a Doodle, though, because he went hypoallergenic. Yeah, it was a something water Doodle-ish. Hard to say. Bo was the name. He went hypo with it? He went hypo. Today kind of feels like the episode. Really?

Yeah. Well, we got Dylan Chivary in here wearing an oatmeal shirt. Yeah. Look at you, dude. It's embroidered. No big deal. Yeah, we get it, dude. You got married at Austin Country Club.

What does CAC mean? CAC. It's A-C-C, Austin Country Club. Why'd they put C-A-C on? It's from a guy who's never been there. It is CAC. CAC. Very happy to be here.

Are you? Like I said, it feels like the episode. Just a feeling I got. Okay. Showing your cack on your arm. Come on, man. Grow up, dude. My mom listens to this.

Grow up, dude. I don't know why this is National Redhead Day, dude. Appreciation Day. I appreciate him every day. Why are you looking at me? I'm not a redhead. I wasn't looking at you for any specific reason. You're strawberry.

You're not a redhead. I'm not. There are some red notes. A little strawberry. Some red notes in there. I don't want to talk about it. I'm not a redhead. I'm not. There are some red notes. You're a little strawberry. I don't want to talk about it. I'm not a redhead. I'm strawberry blonde. I'm going to retire.

I used to be a real big time redhead. If you could grow that beard out I could see some red. You're a little red in the beard. I have red in the beard. There's nothing to be ashamed of, man. Red's great.

Red's a great color. Yeah. I'm married to one. Tomorrow's big. What's tomorrow? National Cherries Jubilee Day. Huge. I What's tomorrow? National Cherries Jubilee Day. Huge. I don't even know what Cherries Jubilee is.

Isn't that when the queen, like... No one under 75 knows what that is. Yeah, you have to know how to play bridge in order to have Cherries Jubilee. Come over for some bridge. Cherries Jubilee. Yeah. Whole squad mobbing on that shit.

No one under 75 knows how to play bridge. No, dude. When I worked at the country club I grew up working at, they would have bridge day every single Wednesday, and it was just a bunch of 75-year-old women sitting around card tables just taking each other's money. And I was just like, how are you playing this game? What is this game?

I bet in recent years there's been a hipster comeback for bridge. So there's 25-year-olds with tats playing bridge. 100%. Smoking cigarettes, American Spirits. Just Rollies. Virginia Slims. Cherries Jubilee looks good. It looks like it would be all the sugar.

Yeah. Well, that's usually how desserts go. Cherry pie is one of the heaviest sugar to fruit ratios, I think, of all time. Man, I do not like cherries. I'll go ahead and say it. Fuck you. They stink. Fuck you.

Cherries stink. That's surprising. What's wrong with them? Don't get dirty with it, David. They have antioxidants, like acerola. When you come up to Harbor Springs for the first time, I'm going to force-feed you some cherries. Please don't force-feed me cherries.

Why, dude? We'll go to the Cherry Festival in Traverse City. Give me the option to eat them. Very annoying when the cherry has pits. It's like a legitimate pit i don't i don't mess with cherries so i wouldn't know much about pits in them that's how you know it's a real one though dude i know but like you gotta have some more to spit on i would ask for extra cherries in my shirley temples growing up i was at a uh an apartment pool like three or four years ago and this dude was there and he brought this bag

full of cherries and he set it on the side of the pool. Oh, man. Everyone's in there drinking and stuff and he was just eating these cherries

and then taking the pits out of his mouth and setting them on the side of the pool. I was like, what the fuck's going on here? That's psycho. Who brings cherries to a pool?

Yeah, it was me. I was soaked in Everclear. I don't know. And he was talking about how good they were to his friends. The pit is a significant pit. Just slobbing on some.

It was really gross. You can't just spit your pit at the pool. Hey, man, you got some Doritos? I'm feeling snackish. Oh, no, but I got some cherries if you want them. Who does that? The only cherry I'm bringing to the pool is Acerola. There you go.

Black cherry lime, baby. Wow. Black cherry lime. So the other day, speaking of snacks, on the golf course, I was riding with Klein. He was my partner. He nursed a bag of Doritos for pretty much the entire round. Who does that? A mini bag.

Who golfs with Doritos? That's like one chip every hole, basically. I just kept on looking down, being like, how is this bag of chips not gone yet? I don't even like having that swing thought. Like, oh, I got a bag of Doritos I got to finish. Oh, I finished that between shots. Every item I eat on the golf course, I slam it. Yes.

I do not nurse or savor anything. It could be like Franklin's barbecue, and I'm going to eat it as fast as I can because I don't want to go hit a shot, come back, pick up my sandwich, and have sandwich hands, then go back, hit another shot come back pick up my sandwich and have sandwich hands then go back hit another shot I want it over with if I tee off

then start eating that bag it's done before I get to my wall yeah that's why I don't eat much at the turn because I don't like having just like stuff to deal with

nasty hands just give me that glizzy there's nothing worse than putting on sunscreen mid-round I had seven glizzies at the turn it was crazy

he went crazy he brought that up, I had seven glizzies at the turn. It was crazy. He went crazy on glizzies, man. He told you specifically. We were calling him the glizz man, remember? Dude, he's going to... Okay. He said we're going to lose a listener. Oh, that's right. Please don't unsubscribe, Klein.

No, what I'll often do with chips is if I get them at the turn, they throw them in with the hot dog or whatever. I'll just, I will just open it and I don't want chip hands. I will just pour it directly into my mouth. Like it's a beverage and I'll eat those chips as quick as humanly possible. You have to, you absolutely have to. If I don't have it, if I don't have it all eaten before my tee shot on 10, I'm all I'm thinking about is how I need to get rid of this food.

Yeah. You look in there and there's like the styrofoam thing and like half a sandwich wrapped up and you're like, Oh, I'm thinking about is how I need to get rid of this food. Yeah. You look in there, and there's, like, the styrofoam thing and, like, half a sandwich wrapped up, and you're like, oh, am I going to eat that? Mm-mm. Mm-mm. I don't want a club sandwich just sitting there

in my little cubby hole. No, no, no, no. I don't know if I realize this, but the queen of Christian Girl Autumn has announced that it is officially fall. Well, yeah, it's literally, like, yesterday was literally the first day of fall. Well, it wasn't official until she announced it.

True. So fall officially started yesterday. Do you follow her? I do not, but she was retweeted onto the TL yesterday. Okay. And I hit her with a little QT. It pisses me off that all these influencers just clearly use photos from last fall. Yeah.

It's like, no, like you don't live in, and then all of a sudden overnight it goes from green leaves to just being completely yellow. That's not how it works. She posted four pictures on Twitter. One of them, weirdly, is she's just in her Mercedes SUV. It looks like a professional Mercedes promo pic. Dude, her dad probably owns a dealership. I don't understand why you think it's so weird, dude.

You've got to flex the car on the timeline. I think she makes an ass ton of think it's so weird, dude. You've got to flex the car on the timeline. I think she makes an ass ton of money doing this influencer shit, actually. Must be nice. Do the math real quick. A million followers, right? On Instagram, I don't know. On Twitter, she has just under 40K.

But Instagram, she's got a big one. If she's got a million followers. It's about a cent per follower per post. And two-tenths of a cent, so a fifth of a cent per story. I don't know if that's what you're making. Brett, my brain doesn't do that. Well, come on, dude. God, how horny is Dylan on the TL? 10,000 bucks per post. I'm not horny on the TL.

You hit her with a QT. Your words, not mine. A quote tweet. Don't call it a QT. She's 1.1 mil on Instagram. She's doing all right. Your words, not mine. Quote tweet. Don't call it a QT. She has 1.1 mil on Instagram. She's doing fine. Yeah,

she's fine. There's also people saying she might have purchased many of those followers. She's so ready for fall. I didn't see that. Hey, have you guys,

this is completely off topic. I don't know why I thought of this. Did you guys see the new promo for The Bachelor? No, Sunday we were watching

Sports Will. I've seen one, but I don't think I've seen it. I saw it on Twitter last night. I'm kidding. Last night, it just says their tagline for this season is, We do declare. Declare.

I'm interested to see if they throw her under the bus. I don't think they do based on how Chris Harrison talked to her in the brief little snippet they had. I feel like they embrace it because I think they know that they can't just do away with her. More on that next month though. They can't even be mad about it because they kept her in the Bachelor world for like a decade.

They kept her name out there. So if she was in there and was like i don't know i don't think i didn't hear this but she was like difficult to work with or was doing shit on the side like you this is you're creating chris and i respect it and we're gonna watch it and everybody else is gonna watch it even if you don't watch it you're gonna listen to our bachelor recap and you're gonna like it she actually subscribed to spooky season yesterday she actually wanted to do it for the bachelor next month but she figured she'd go opto sooner for a spooky season smart yep yeah her username was creepy crawly come on come on creepy

Dylan never had creepy crawlers you don't know the joy of making a scorpion out of like chemicals that are probably gonna hurt you later in life what are creepy crawlers. You don't know the joy of making a scorpion out of chemicals that are probably going to hurt you later in life. What are creepy crawlers? Unless Dylan's mini oven made an Easton, he's not going to fucking do it. He took home ag. Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. He did take home ag. And photography.

And photography. Creepy crawlers were a little thing that was a little toy, and you would put this liquid in there and stick it in an oven. And heat it up. And heat it up, and then it would come out and you had these little tiny rubber little creepy crawlers that you could put around and scare your parents with. Definitely did not do that. Weird. Alright, we've got some other programming notes. Follow Circling Back Pod on

Instagram. We've got 10k, not to brag. We're actually closer to 10.1k than we are to 10 at this point. Wow. So yeah, we're kind of going viral. We get two-tenths of a cent per story. So, you know, kind of rich now. Also, go leave a review and five-star rating. We're going to read some reviews later in this

episode. We might implore you to do some reviewing before we even get there. Every Tuesday and Friday, Patreon. Spooky season. The premiere event of the Patreon yesterday debuted. Beautiful episode. Beautiful episode. Numerous people saying they had to cut away

because they were laughing too hard. Or screaming too loud. They were scared. They were scared. They were like, oh my god, that guy left the light on. If you want to do a preview of that, you can go on this same feed. Go listen to it yesterday. We put the first 10 minutes of it on there. We also put a video up on Wash Media

YouTube page where we did the exact same thing. About 11 minutes of it on there we also put a video up on wash media youtube page where we did the exact same thing about 11 minutes of the episode i like when people tweet us and they're like i had to uh stop listening in my office because i was laughing too hard yeah it's always that's always a compliment yeah that's a high compliment we don't want to get anybody in trouble but no please listen even if you are in the office i watched the youtube of our um little segment we cut of spooky season oh did you just to see how you looked tape man were you giggly as fuck i laugh i laugh my ass off yeah it's funny because i laugh at the same moments while recording that i do like listen to it afterward it's pretty i laugh

way harder afterward i'm not proud of that i laugh over myself. It's pretty funny. I laugh way harder afterward. I'm not proud of that. I laugh over myself laughing. It's pretty stupid, actually, now that I think about it. But here I am. It was funny, man. Dylan loves him some Dylan. I heard Dylan doesn't even laugh at the jokes of other people.

It's just him. I just get forward to the parts that I'm not on. Or that I am on, I should say. Maybe sit the next couple minutes out. I just want to hear myself. What are you even talking about? Shut up, David.

We've also got Happy Hour Live Wednesdays tonight. It's going to be lit. And Twitch. Twitch.tv slash watch media every Tuesday, Thursday, Friday around 1215. Tomorrow's throwback Thursday. Not sure what we're doing yet. I'm going to lobby for some more Mario Kart. I was just having a blast with that shit.

Me too. Dave, what are you doing, dog? What? I see your tweet, man. Dave Horny on the TL right now? No, he said I'm Horny. He said I'm Horny. You are.

I'm not. You are. You came in here today and you're like, I'm feeling some type of way. I feel different today. Dude, the horny police are arresting you. Yeah. I'm not. Because I court tweeted Caitlin Covington's fall slideshow.

I mean, you're the only one in here who retweeted her slideshow. And if she DMs you, she's going to hit it with a QT, though. Slideshow Bob over here. If she DMs you, you're responding immediately. She has a husband, first of all. Second of all, I'm not interested in her in that way. I'm sure she's a lovely young lady, but I'm not into her. Is it pagan boy fall?

Pagan? He doesn't celebrate the Christian holidays. Dave, can we go to Lucy in Disguise and get some cop costumes and just arrest Dylan for being too horny one day? A lot of people were saying that in the month of October, there will be an episode of Spooky Season where all of us are in costume. Oh, hell yes. I don't know if I can handle that level of spookiness.

I should probably run this by you before I bring it up on the pod. Don't care. I have to acquire a costume. Dave, it was always going to be a yes for me. I have to get a costume. You're doing the unthinkable and making me actually like Halloween again. I appreciate that, Dave. You've done a lot for me in my life, but this might be the best.

It really pisses me off that you haven't always loved Halloween. I don't care about what affects your emotions or not, Dylan. I will crawl across this table. I think we should do the October 27th. It's a Tuesday. I think we should all plan on dressing up for that day. Oh, yeah. I'm going to get an absurd costume.

That includes you. We know you have costumes. You wear them every Wednesday. Yeah, Randy, he's actually running low. He's not sure if he can do that by then. Because we got to 300 subscribers on Twitch yesterday, Dave will be hosting an Xbox PGA 2K21 tournament next Tuesday. I can't wait for this.

Tuesday night. Yeah, Randy put in October 29th, which is not next Tuesday. It's September 29th at 7 p.m. There's a lot of details to be ironed out on that, but just keep an eye out for it. If you're an Xbox boy, welcome. So can we confirm, Randy, give me a nod if this is accurate. We can only do Xbox people for the tournament? I think so, yeah.

Randy doesn't know, but yes. Randy comes in wearing a members-only jacket, and he can't even answer my question. Just give him the Coach Taylor. Saracen, is that a members-only jacket? No one's picking up their girl on a first date with a members-only jacket on. That's date two when you need to put the bad boy shit out there. Can I give you guys some breaking news on the TL? Sure.

Did y'all see how the Chargers quarterback, Tyrod Taylor, right before kickoff, didn't play? They said it was like a chest issue. Yeah. Turns out the Chargers team doctor accidentally punctured his own quarterback's lungs trying to give him a painkilling injection. Oh, my God. That's fucking terrifying.

It has to be painful. Do you think he tried to like cover it up? Be like, no, no, no, I couldn't. I didn't do that. Like, you're fine. Aha. And Herbert had a pretty solid game, too. So that might you know costing him is starting J Not even his fault. How's your starting J people doing starting J job? Yeah, you just say job. It's not that many

Not actually want to take your J. That just means I'm gonna I'm gonna Jay is more jumping for me. Yes a J is a job shot, dude It's also awesome his job. You know I'm going to – J is more jump shot. You're sitting in the bench for me. Yes, a J is a jump shot, dude. It also means job. Dude, I'm applying for Js. No, it only applies to sports. I got the starting J. Interviewing for a job is a sport. I've never heard that.

Am I going crazy? Am I taking crazy pills? I thought you were just doing a bit. Like, we abbreviate everything. We used to say that. Starting J? Like, yeah. Like, I'm going to take your J.

Like, I'm coming for your jay i won't be starting point guard that meant something else for us yeah because you're a bunch of perverts that's why not like jay meant like your jack we know what we know what it meant dave we're playing marbles yeah okay what a terrible game is it the one what's the one where you bounce the ball? That's the jacks one I'm thinking of. It's like a little bounce ball. Like you can pick up as many as you can while the ball's in the air.

Not going to lie, that game always seemed really easy to me. Why don't you just bounce it really fucking high and grab all the jacks? Exactly. Like, maybe only we said that. I would make fun of that, like, because that's like a boomer thing, but like, we played pogs. Yeah. I played pogs. I played pogs.

We played pogs. dylan there's no way dylan knew what a pog was uh you didn't have a fucking slammer dude i dabble with pogs i had hella slammers when like people just started taking all mine like i don't want to play yeah but you were playing p-a-w-g's you're playing p-o-g's you're a big pog guy i wish i knew what that meant but i don't so this joke is right over my head. I fucked around with Pogs a little bit. What was your go-to slammer? I don't know. Mine had a yin-yang on it.

Yeah, I had the same one. It was a glittery. Yeah. We all had the same ones. They had to. Sick. Very sick. Don't you, like, take them from people when you win?

Yeah, we didn't play that way, though. Okay, you gave them back. I had too much of an emotional connection to my Pogs. Like, I wasn't going to give up my good ones. Yeah. Bullshit. If only I was 10 years older, I would have any clue. you guys are talking i have you didn't i have a binder full of pogs at my house right now they were they were the sickest toy for a year like they were the best nobody ever real hot real fat nobody ever even played them it was just trading them yeah like it wasn't like there was

a game but like nobody was actually out there flipping pogs. Slammers, dude. That's what eighth grade Dave was doing. He was just fucking flipping pogs on the side. I think it was probably fifth grade, Dave. Sixth grade. Definitely. I remember sitting on the carpet and spreading my pogs out.

No, I was the one getting my pogs stolen. Trust me. I weighed like 105 pounds. I would have stolen your pogs for sure. You probably would have yeah man oh dylan oh shoot here's a live video of uh dave and i hauling dylan out of it's not a live video it's a it's a still image of a cartoon i don't know i don't know those alleys are getting deep yeah that, that's what Dave tweeted at me. Can we talk MeUndies real quick? MeUndies believes that comfort is more about what's touching your skin.

It's about feeling comfortable in your skin. Keyword, your, not someone else's. This isn't a Michael Myers movie, you guys, you freaks. Okay. But it's almost Halloween, which means you can now match your undies to the spookiest season of all time. MeUndies just launched three new Halloween prints. So whether you're into cats, blood, or skeletons, they've got something right up your haunted alley. I love that they're getting into spooky season, too.

Dude, I love it. I didn't even realize before we did this that they were getting into spooky season. I couldn't be more excited. Huge news. Dude, I've been wearing the ones that they sent us last year, the Halloween ones. I wore them 365. Not every day, but I wore them year-round. Did you wash them?

Dave, we'd be wearing the same underwear, 365. It renders it useless. We're saving water. Gross. Their undies grow on trees. No, seriously. They're made from irresistibly soft natural fiber. Stores from beechwood trees.

And you know what natural fibers mean, guys? What's that? The fibers that are natural. It means that they're micromodal. It's not only super soft, but also breathable, light, and impossibly cozy. That's some serious comfort. Everything MeUndies does is to help you feel truly comfortable from head to toe, from outside to in. So never run out of undies with a MeUndies membership.

Dave, you could use this so you stop wearing the exact same pair every single day. You know, and you'd think they've sent me, like, underwear, like, every day or every month for the last, like, two years. You'd think I would have other ones to wear, but I just keep wearing these same Halloween ones. I get it, dude. They're comfortable. I know. It doesn't make a lot of sense. I can smell you from here.

Really? Yeah, it's not good. But if you subscribe to their membership, you get new pairs right to your door, because who really wants to grab a questionable six-pack of underwear at a local drugstore? Dylan, you've definitely done that before. I know. Plus, you can get site-wide savings and exclusive sales. Right now, MeUndies has a great offer for our listeners. For any first-time purchases, you get 15% off and free shipping.

MeUndies also has their problem-free philosophy that if you're not satisfied with any product for any reason, they'll refund or exchange it. No caveats, no questions. To get your 15% off your first order and free shipping, go to MeUndies.com slash circling back. That's MeUndies.com slash circling back. Let's keep the spooky tone going today, the spooky fall thing. We talk about big spooky. I've been waiting for this one, man. We got the biggest of spookies on the TL this morning, and I couldn't be happier when we walked in and saw this.

Yeah. Someone tweeted this yesterday, and apparently someone in their neighborhood has erected a skeleton in the front yard. What? Erected. That's the right word here. I know it is, but there has to be another word. He put up a Halloween display.

It's a boner. It's a skeleton that is about 20 to 25 feet tall maybe, and it's in his front yard, and it is the spookiest thing I've ever seen. He went off. Randy, can we get this on the screen? That's not it. No, and it is the spookiest thing I've ever seen. He went off. Randy, can we get this on the screen? That's not it. No, I don't think that's it. That's the horn. No, that's just a meme.

That's not it. Dylan, people are saying, come on, man. That's just a horny police meme. The horny police are out today. Yeah, why is Stella arresting you for being horny right now? Randy, can we get that? Please remain calm. There he is. There he now. Randy, can we get that? Please remain calm. There he is.

There he is. Okay, now we got it. Yeah, so we did put this on our Twitter TL, which also, now that we have 10K on Instagram, I want 10K on Twitter. Everyone knows it's hard to build a Twitter following because it's harder to be funny on Twitter. Yeah. That's what they say.

Dude, this is just the body of what's left of big techs post-fire. Dude, seriously, is this big techs? Looks like the giant from Game of Thrones. It's about that size. bit of what's left of big techs post-fire. Dude, seriously, is this big techs? Looks like the giant from Game of Thrones. It's about that size. Is the perspective weird on this, making it look much larger? Is this thing actually almost three stories tall? The perspective is helping it in height, but it's huge.

We saw the Mini Cooper. Look at the little electrical box thing, how big that is compared to this skeleton you know what maybe the sign in the front yard of that house if you look at it it's like across the street yeah it's like yeah i mean i bet you it's 10 feet tall but i don't think it's the size of a house okay so i actually i i did a little research oh i hope this goes better than spooky season what oh it's a reference gets people to go listen okay yeah is this a lot of words the biggest one i can find on the internet is 12 feet tall okay this one this one no this is custom this is bigger than 12 feet it's bigger than 12 feet for sure like this person owns a halloween like haunted house thing and they had this custom made for it and now that they can't do it this year because of covid they just decided to bring it home and put it in their front yard does it low-key have

cankles yeah yeah look at that look at those uh leg bones absolutely brutal someone on twitter said that we should get one for the office imagine walking in here and there's a 25 foot tall skeleton just sitting on the couch with this like taking up half the little lobby area where do you store that thing on november 1st great question we do have a moat true we can just put it in the moat yeah yeah where do you put this this big ass did you just censor yourself only to just what was that two more swear words in after i think i did no one's doing that can you imagine if teen dave saw this in the neighborhood oh that's it gone that thing would be coming down real quick dave's skateboarding away with uh like one of the ribs

for sure we're dragging it we're toppling that thing like it's saddam statue that thing would last two nights oh man dude how okay how is this thing standing up how is it erected dylan uh good question man it's not leaning on anything. I do not know. Pretty impressive. Where is this again? You did the research. Into some neighborhood. I don't know. Okay.

I don't know where it is. I'm just curious because I feel like just some decent straight line winds could just blow this thing right back into the house. No, dude. I mean, it's all bones. It just goes right through, dude. It's built for the wind. I mean, it's all bones. It just goes right through, dude. It's built for the wind.

Are you guys buying any Halloween decorations for your home, for your place of residence this year? Yeah. What are you getting? I just mic'ed my microphone. I have some from last year that I bought, like literally the day before Halloween because I felt left out. And I was just like, man, I want some shit.

I did the same thing last year. We did the generic gorge thing. We're going to do a pumpkin. But I've got a little skeleton guy wearing a funny top hat. And it's like you stake it into the ground, and he just kind of stands there, and he looks spooky. It's like, whoa, what's that skeleton doing all dressed up like he's a fucking billionaire or something?

He's dead. He can't be a billionaire. Parks told me he doesn't want me to get, like, really scary stuff for the house. You get scared. You get scared. You're the kid. Yeah, that's fair. But I'm going to get, like, some pumpkin shit, you know?

Dude, HEB's got some tight pumpkins right now. So Home Depot sells the 12-foot one of this. Don't you have the— This one, I don't know, man. You have the inflatables in your front yard that you're doing? No, I've got some neighbors

who have those. They just look so... When they're deflated, they just look so bad. It's almost an eyesore. You've got to keep them inflated at all times. Just standing at attention.

We drove by an inflatable pumpkin the other day that was no less than 12 to 15 feet in diameter. Yeah, I've seen that one. It's large. I'll say that I've never vandalized Halloween decorations. Thank you. Let me be clear.

Now, I'm not saying that I haven't been a part of a group where someone might have taken all of the candy on some unfortunate person who just put all the candy out on the porch like dylan's gonna do oh i used to i used to take the whole bag as a kid okay i don't feel good about it but i used to yeah this thing is 300 bucks the 12 the 12 foot one this one on the screen i who knows expensive you would take the whole bag dude what's your problem i was a punk ass kid you poured it into your pillowcase uh whatever i was using i may yeah i may have used a pillowcase yeah you can fit more in there is it true that you're ken griffey jr for 12 straight years uh no you ever realized how hammered your parents got walking around the neighborhood with you with like the

other like three kids you were with and their parents? Man, one of the houses we stopped by last year, they were giving out candy to the kids and wine to adults. Oh, that's fun. It was a vibe. Are you giving out whippets this year? No, Nutty Bees. Giving out whippets and Nutty Bees. Please don't give out Nutty Bees.

No, I'm not giving that away. It's like gold, man. The Cheverier house down the street, dude's giving away Nutty Bees or something. I don't even know what that means. Correct that whip. Definitely not letting my kid go over there.

Oh, man. Don't you have some fun moms in the neighborhood, Dave? Oh, you got, they get trashed on Halloween? Fun mommies in the

neighborhood, Dave? Tell us about them, Dave. Do I? Do I? I thought I remember you saying that people came to

your house hammered last year. There was a group last year that they were kind of – I'm not going to say they were catcalling me from the street, but they kind of were. I was like, you should get closer and see what I really look like because it's not good.

But, yeah, I wasn't – what did I do last year? Oh, Patrick Swayze. That was last year, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And Randy was also Patrick Swayze. No, That was last year, right? Yeah. Oh, and Randy was also Patrick Swayze. No, he was Chris Farley. Chris Farley

in the... I forgot about that costume. That was good, Dave. Good work. I'm proud of it. You know, there was like eight people who saw it, but thank you, Will. I appreciate you acknowledging that. I think I'm going to leave a bowl out in our apartment outside of the apartment this year because we do have a kid down the

hall from us. So if he or she wants to come get some candy, I'm going to leave it out there. Put some big dogs in there. Maybe some full-size Snickers. What are big dogs? Dude, full-size. I might get some king-size since we've got so few people. I thought that was a candy bar brand. A couple years ago, we were at my former place of residence.

We were doing some handing out of candy, and the last kids came up. And they were kind of a little older. Not too old to be trick-or-treating, but a little on the older side for trick-or-treaters. And one of them just walks up and he goes, are you high? Well, it's a good question for that house. And we looked down at him and we're like, maybe. Like, what's your problem, dude?

Are you a narc? Get out of here, dude. Get out of here. Are you high? That was the same year that we had someone down the street. They put a sign on the corner that said full-size candy bars this way. And we were like, dude, you're taking all the fun out of it for us. Like, you have to let that kind of shit circulate. You can't put a sign up that says full-size.

Damn. I'm just thinking about, like, that situation of being at the vape house handing out candy. Sick. No, not high, man. Just been taking uppers and looking at spreadsheets and stocks and shit. Yeah. That's more realistic. We gave out cryptocurrency.

Here's.01 of a Bitcoin. That didn't work. Big spooky. I was giving out Fright Coin. I kind of want a big spooky. I am going to get a cornucopia off this fall. That's not surprising. No, not at all, dude.

Could this thing fit in here if it was seated on the couch? Yeah. I would imagine so. But it would take up a lot of space. Might be worth it. I don't know. I'm not ready to say yes yet would it even fit through the door frame the more i look at the home depot version the more i'm becoming convinced that it

is just 12 feet tall because it's standing in the exact same pose like posture look look at the arms on this see what i mean that's just how, dude. I think this is like trick photography here. Look at the slight pelvic tilt. Giant-sized skeleton with eyes. It's got the same eyes. I kind of wish they did it like the little white furry meme. See, then we should definitely buy it. If you can adjust its position and stance, we could have some fun with that.

I bet we could make it happen. I'm going to get a Yeti costume this year and just be that guy. That's going to be so hot. Like a Bigfoot? Or like a Tumbler? He's going to walk around with his arms out the whole time? Google white furry guy meme. I'm just going to go.

Yeah, when I'm trick-or-treating, I'm just going to hold my bag out. Please put some candy in here. Yeah, there it is. There is white furry once every month i have to google white furry guy meme dude you do it not to air you out dave you do it way more than once a month yeah it's fair you'd think i would just have it in my favorites but for some reason i don't you go to dave's media on twitter i was checking for busy tweets at one point. If you just go to Dave's media, he has the Dave Ruff playbook of gifs. This guy. The white furry guy meme.

I love that. The fist guy. Now we have horny police. It's the Miz's dad. Krusty the Clown. Yeah, now it's horny police. Hey, can we do, we have Small Biz September today. Wow.

I didn't realize we had this. It's every Wednesday. I know. For September. Yep, for have Small Biz September today. Wow. I didn't realize we had this. It's every Wednesday. I know. For September. Yep, for September. Brett, take us away. Sure. This is Splash City Golf.

It's today's Small Biz September. There it is on the screen. Great logo. Cool logo. Great logo. Put that on our hat. It is a cool logo. It is.

Shots to backer. We will take a free hat. Thank you, Splash City Golf. Yeah. Splash City Golf. Shouts to backer Alex M. out of Baltimore, Maryland. They're in their fourth summer of business, but they took a pretty hard hit from COVID due to the fact that they're an event-based company. Right.

So here's what they do, Dylan. They travel around the world setting up waterfront driving ranges at beautiful waterfront locations. You have my attention. Their productions are perfect for corporate events, weddings, bachelor parties, festivals, et cetera, golf outings. Or just like a Saturday for the boys. Or a Saturday for the boys. Yeah.

Dave, they put targets in the water that are 16 feet in diameter and powered via a little boat motor and steered with a little iPad app. Are you kidding me? That's crazy tech. Will, the balls you were wondering, though? You don't want to be hitting golf balls in the harbor. At Harbor Springs. Some people care about that. Either they float or they're biodegradable.

They're biodegradable, Dylan, non-toxic, and they contain a little bit of fish food in the core. Wow. They keep Nemo happy. Wow. Look at that, David. That was the bubbles from the fish. That wasn't a turkey, even though it sounded very similar. That sounds better than bubbles.

The balls they use, they fly 60% to 70% as far as real balls, which for Klein, that's like 210, 220. Don't give them that. I'm editing that out. Check out their website at SplashCityGolf.com. SplashCityGolf.com. Have a driving range at your lake. I'm in.

Dude, I'm just hitting stingers all day with this. Where is this available? Everywhere. They come to you. Really? Yeah. You ever listen to Michelle Branch? Everywhere.

I'm not familiar with that particular track. Okay. That sucks. I guess so. This is a cool idea. This is a really cool idea. I can see us doing it for sure. Absolutely.

We'll do a meetup in Chicago. How big is the target? 16 feet in diameter. I'm not going to hit the target, but I'm going to go for it. Yeah. Dave's going to be all over that thing. No. No one gets up and down for tea.

Dave's going to miss. I'm the scrambler. No one gets more up and down than Dave. Dave's going to miss. They call me the scrambler. Dave, we actually. You eat scrambled eggs all the time, though. It is.

I had three this morning. Chill, dude. This, like, this foursome here, we kind of a good scramble team. No. Okay. Why not? Depends on which Dylan shows up. Yeah, that's fair.

I was sitting in my driveway the other day, though, man. You hit one of the – They didn't see it because – All right, I'm going to out you a little bit, but then I'm going to come back around and gas you. Uh-huh. Okay. Dylan hit one into the wet marsh.

The doo-doo? Right off the tee box, like 10 feet away. That's why they call me Marshall. So they drove. We all teed off. Will and Klein drove up. Dylan dropped. It wasn't fairway, but it wasn't thick rough.

It was teed up decently. It was fluffy. Wow, dude. Dylan just pulled out a driver off the deck. And this is like a 420-yard par 4 and just absolutely wrecked one. Like the best driver, I'm going to give it off the deck, even though it was kind of off the rough, which is a little different. It was still very impressive.

Thank you, Dave. It felt good. Not as good. It was a ballsy shot. It was right after I just topped one into the marsh. Yeah, you're lying three. I was lying three. I legit in my head was like, please don't hit the same shot.

I was like, I can't deal with the awkward silence. What, hole two, Dylan? Just two top drives back to back. Yeah. But you didn't. You hit one good. Maybe I should just tee it up like that every time. Cart girl comes up.

High life. There was no cart girl. High life. It was Friday. We'll get it. What is that? I get it. The William Wallace cart didn't come around?

No. No, one of the carts at that course needs to get put into some maintenance. Hey, speaking of golf, can we talk about Rory McIlroy yesterday and just whatever was going on in general? Yeah, we had a little charity golf, a little early week. Tiger's new course in Payne Valley? Branson, Missouri. Branson, Missouri.

The Ozarks. Payne's Valley. Payne's Valley. Payne Valley is something else. Payne. Yeah, so it's Rory and Rose versus Cat and JT. That's it. And, you know, it was fun.

The format, I don't remember specifically. They switched to best it. It was fun. The format, I don't remember specifically. They switched to best ball. It was weird. They started with best ball, but there was like... Then it went to match play. They started with best ball, and it was a weird thing where if you were on the green in regulation,

it's a tiebreaker. If there's two pars, the person who was closer to the hole wins. It was a weird thing. It was a funbreaker. Really? If there's two pars, the person who was closer to the hole wins. It was a weird thing. It was a fun thing to go home and forget that it was on and then turn on and see your buddy, hashtag Chad, in the background doing his photos. Oh, yeah. Dapping up Tiger and shit.

Yeah, just unbelievable day for him. Get it, Chad. You have a cool job, dude. Stop. No, man. Chad's had some really shit jobs in his past. like stop no man Chad's had some

really shit jobs in his past we had Rory I think the most notable thing to come of this is that we found out that

Rory McIlroy is a big fan of Domino's Pizza yes he is and I stand the fuck out of it I've got I've got the video

queued up so here I'll play the actual audio from from our man's Rory just talking that booty chatter

about Domino's you guys ready tell you what we're on chatter about Domino's. You guys ready? Mm-hmm. Tell you what, we're on this big Domino's kick at the moment. It's so good. I swear to God. It is good. Like, if you don't know what the really good local pizza place is,

Domino's is, like, solid. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Domino's is, like, solid. It's, like, solid. It's, like, solid if you don't know the good pizza place to go to just use the internet i don't i don't disagree with him my man it's he it's better than pizza hut do to put it well rory mcelroy should never have to worry about not having a good pizza place at his disposal right that's true he's he's playing a

different food game than we are. Roy McIlroy is probably at the point of when they asked Bill Gates how much a gallon of milk costs. That's Rory now. He doesn't need to think about how much a Domino's pizza costs. Is he low-key calling out the city of Branson in that area for not having good pizza? Makes you wonder. I would assume Branson, Missouri does not have good pizza. Yeah, you would assume.

No offense to the Bransonites. Well, they've got the mellow Mushroom, which looks pretty legit. That's everywhere. Yeah, it's not bad. Well, it's the Mellow Mushroom Branson. Maybe they have a different proprietary blend there. They also have a Papa John's there. Dude, I don't hate Papa John's.

I'll say it. Pizza Hut? Stinks. Rocco's Pizza in Pizza World. Papa John's. Rocco. Wait, did you say Rocco? Rocco. It's a great name. It's a good name. I'm going to ear Pizza World. Papa John's. Rocco. Wait, did you say Rocco? Rocco! It's a great name. It's a good name.

I'm going to earmark that. I like that. They also have Mr. Gilberti's Place. Chicago Pizza. Is that Pizza or Joey? Chicago Pizza is bad. Here's the thing about Domino's. Sorry. Go ahead, Brett. When you graduate to the Domino's Pan Pizza, the handmade pan pizza, it changes your entire perspective.

Because the Domino's, the normal Domino's is fine. It's good. It's good in a pinch. You know what you're getting. Then you have the pan for the first time. And your eyes are opened, Will. No. If I wanted to eat a big piece of garlic bread with sauce on it, then I'd just do that.

There's no fucking garlic on it. It's just the thickest crust you could possibly have. You get full off one piece that's like all just bread and no actual good toppings or anything. It's cheese and sauce and fluff and great crust. Have the pizza one time for me, Will, before you go erroneous over here.

Let me tell you what I admire. I've had enough Domino's in my life that I know what their standard of quality is. That's why I'm trying to open your eyes. My eyes are wide shut. Open your mouth. Because that's how you eat pizza. No, the thing I love about Domino's is they've had to rebrand.

I just pulled up our friend. Curry. Curry. Our friend Curry. Who wrote one of the last pieces on Gawker. I just pulled up our friend, Curry. Curry. Our friend Curry, who wrote. One of the last pieces on Gawker. He tanked Gawker with this piece. He never got paid. It's called Papa John's is the best pizza in Chicago.

He crushed it. Domino's has had to rebrand, and they were like, look, our pizza wasn't very good. We understand that. We got the message. You guys let us know. They had like a whole ad campaign about how they were just completely revamping their pizza process. To their credit, it worked. I still think I will go Papa John's or if you're in Duncanville, Mr. Jim's.

Shout out Mr. Jim's. Small business September. But Domino's is better than Pizza Hut. That's all I'm going to say. No. It's not. I agree with Will. You stand Pizza Hut, right, Will? Yep.

The Domino's pan pizza is as good, if not better, than Pizza Hut pan pizza. And I just need you to try it one time. I go Domino's over Pizza Hut, but everything's over Papa John's for me. We'll do a blind taste test. I'm very down for that. We'll do a blind taste test. We'll get a deep dish pizza from Pizza Hut. We'll do a deep dish pizza

from Domino's. I'll sit down. I'll eat both of them and I'll give you my honest opinion. I don't eat Pizza Hut nearly enough to know what it tastes like.

Okay. Like out of the blue. I have a trash palate. Everyone knows that. I got nothing going on in this tongue. Anyone want to talk about You like Cherry's Jubilee?

Mm-hmm. Cherry's Jubilee. That's the bridge. Wait, when did you become trash palate guy? I just don't have... Dude, I have no taste. You have COVID? No, I've never had it. What do you mean you have no taste? We talked about it.

What? I don't have a very sophisticated palate. Like, I can't really decipher certain flavors. You know how you'll eat a piece of candy and you're like, ooh, that's got some... But you're the obscure food guy on social media. I'm having like... Duck? Duck with like...

But he's not enjoying it. Wild ass shit with it. I have roasted carrots with it, Dylan, and mashed potatoes. You talk about chutney and shit. Dude, I love a good chutney. I don't know what the fuck it is. It's like a jelly or a jam. You know the difference between jelly and jam?

Didn't we just do this? Tell me. I still don't know what chutney is. It's like a jelly or a jam. You know the difference between jelly and jam? Didn't we just do this? I still don't know what chutney is. What's wrong with you, man? You can't chutney a D in your... I got it, David. You nailed it. No, I need to eat weird foods because I can actually taste it, Dylan. Okay.

I like eating different foods, but I can't decipher the flavor of things. So this blind taste is going to do nothing. You're just gonna be like, that's pizza. No, if anything, I have the most, I have the most like, uh, bare minimum palette that like, I can just give a knee jerk reaction without, you know, having any memory back to like, oh, I remember eating this after winning book it. So, wow. That nostalgia wave. Um, so you, you're just basically going to say this one's better than that Wow. That nostalgia wave. You're just basically going to say this one's better than that one. That's going to be Domino's.

Maybe not. I like pizza too. I don't know. I'm saying that Domino's deserves respect. Will? Does Domino's have the cardboard breadsticks that Pizza Hut has? Because if not, I'm out. Yeah, they do. Tossing a bunch of parmesan grated cheese on that uh already cardboardy and i missed the mr gaddy's cinnamon sticks they were so good

why do you miss them there's still mr gaddy's you can go to yeah you can still go to it's not luby's dude you didn't put it out of business it's been 15 years since i've had mr gaddy's there's one right off the service around 35 we 100 We 100% had it at Grand X for a kid's lunch. Are you sure? 100%. That very same curry probably slapped me like, I can't believe I haven't

fucking Mr. Gaddy's right now. Mr. Gaddy's. Oh, the cinnamon sticks. Man, they were good. I will die on two hills, Will. Cheap pizza and cheap salsa. I don't get the cheap salsa one either. I don't understand that.

Tostitos and Pace and those salsas are way better than any salsa I've had in Austin, Texas. Expose it! I can't stand the Matt's salsa that I had to drink that one time that you guys think is so good. I can't stand

the Javelina salsa. You just can't take the heat, dude. I think they're all bad compared to Tostitos and Pace. That is, dude, I'm not going to let you gentrify salsa. Stop. Northern gentrification. Get out. Pace Baconti? Pace Baconti is a punchline,

as is Old El Paso, as is whatever else. And you put it on those breakfast tacos and they taste better. Dude, you, your,

Will's over here saying he's got a trash pallet. Your pallet is just in the dumpster dead getting slammed with pogs. Wow. You have to bring pogs to this. No one saw that coming.

Like I said, you've never had a good homemade salsa, dude. I'll give you this about Matt's. I just don't taste as good. Sometimes it's a little spicy. And I get if you have a sensitive palate. No, it's definitely not my favorite salsa. I think the best free chips and salsa in town for me, and I don't think this is going to be popular, is

actually El Alma. I like their roasted red peppers. It's absolutely slaps. Yeah, I thought you were going to say Chewy's. No, and I think the best to-go salsa for a breakfast taco is actually from Honey Ham. I like their salsa on the breakfast taco. I'd like to send this to the group. Hat Creek down the street.

Shout out Small Biz September. They're doing BOGO breakfast tacos today. Are you shitting me, David? Yeah, I got the text, Nody. It ends at 1030. So, Randy? That was 50 minutes ago. All right, well, I'll fuck off.

Thanks, man. Sorry, I'm a little heated right now. Stuff's made in New York City. You can't tell me that when you dunk a Tostito chip into a big old Tostito salsa. First of all, I'm not eating Tostito chips. Why? They're good at like Super Bowl parties and like by the pool. I know it's bad for you.

With the cherries. They taste so good. With cherries. Tostitos, that's a trash chip. There's so many better options. Like healthier options. I don't even care. Well, if you're eating chips and salsa.

Just like sodium blast. Yeah. It's the name of and salsa. Just like sodium blast. Yeah. It's the name of Dylan's band. Sodium blast. Probably gets the scoops and chips. I do. Yeah. What's wrong with scoops, though?

Nothing. They're shaped. The scoop is fine for a Super Bowl spread, like Dylan said. Yeah. That rhymed. Yeah. I'll eat scoops if it's necessary. You're a scoop boy.

No. For certain dips, you have to have it. I don't buy scoops, but if there's scoops right there, you better believe I'm filling that cup up. Dude, I wish Micah was here just to flame you. Oh, you would flame you. Get Micah on Happy Hour Live tonight. And just, we'll talk dips. Micah would have passed out when he heard that.

I know. I'm just saying, I don't like these upscale sauces. I just don't. Insert me hearing that. Insert Shitto finding out college football was canceled. That's me right now. Dang it. Can we talk about Manscaped real quick?

Yes. Dude, we've got a bunch of copy in front of us. I don't even care anymore. Jeez, dude. I love this product so much that I'll just do it off the top of the dome. He's throwing out the playbook. You know when I feel my best? After a trim?

Physically? I feel my best about two weeks after I trim up my chest hair. Because I got this little tiny coat coming in. And it's not like a full chest hair, but it's enough that it's like oh that guy's manly so you call it a tiny coat your window starts two weeks after a trim so before I go on vacation if I go on vacation I know that I'm going to be taking my shirt off I take out my manscaped buzzer with the ceramic uh blade right and then I trim down my chest hair pretty short and then two weeks later it's got the natural fill-in and I look great that begs the question why don't you just set the thing for a longer trim because you do it no it's different you don't have to wait too

no it's different dude you can't do that okay well here's the manscaped one has such a close trim that why would I even why would I rob myself of that so I I actually subscribe to this method and it's because before I used manscaped the razor I used would occasionally occasionally pull back the curtain give me some razor bumps but But Manscaped doesn't do, and you know, you need two weeks for that to go away at least. So you do it two weeks in advance. The Manscaped, it doesn't do that anymore. And it's got the little light so I can really see what I'm doing in there. The light addition to the Manscaped 2.0 is insane.

It's just great. Manscaped. You have trash habits when it comes to trimming your chest hair, dude. I don't know that that's accurate. Come on. I take the tops off. I'm getting even cocky with this thing. Yeah, I wish you would stop.

I'm doing things that I'm just like, all right, I should get a knicker cut right here. And it's like, oh, wait, no. Now I'm just smooth. You're going against the grain? I take it downtown. I go downstairs with it. Your chesticles. Do you?

You go all the way downtown? I go downtown. You know what I'm saying. The tiddly pits? Your pogs? You hit the pogs in the slammer with it? I trim the pogs in the slammer. I sure do.

I sure do. Dude, I'm reckless with this thing. Do you get to the point where you're testing different directions to see if you'll get a nick? Yes. I'm like, dude, how does this work? You won't stop until you finally nick yourself. Yeah, and it never happens, so I'm just hairless now. Yeah.

Why is this not nicking me? Dude, it's just the best. That's why I call it Nick-less. Jack? David. Dude, they've also upgraded it to a 7,000 RPM motor with quiet stroke technology. Aren't you a big fan of the quiet stroke? What are you doing?

That's some high-end tech there. What's wrong with you all? Nothing. Literally nothing. You said it was going to be a good podcast. You're right. If you're listening to us talk right now, you're one of the first people to hear about this life-changing product, and I want you to experience it firsthand for yourself.

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Hey, can we hear from our friends over at Club Cool real quick? I would love to. Wish we would. Shout out to Barrett and Phil. Kind of wish they were here right now to make it more chill in here, but here they are. Hey, it's Barrett. And Phil.

From the Club Cool podcast. Are you interested in style, fashion, maybe the hottest new sneakers, latest and greatest in music or art? Then you need to check out Club Cool. Whether you're ready to chop it up about the newest drops or you're just looking for simple ways to upgrade your wardrobe,

we've got a little something for everybody. You can subscribe wherever you get your washed media podcasts and follow us at Club Cool Pod on Instagram to learn more. They should re-record that and add plants because they're now a plant podcast. Are they plant based? Completely plant based in 2020.

That's huge. I thought so. Really? I need some plant help. I might just have fill over and just make them like set up my apartment. What's the, what's the lady who does like the goes in your closet like get rid of it or condo yeah he should be like that but he's like way more chill and has tats i'm more into marie like townhouse i like marie calendar i have no plants in my place

unfortunately that's how i gained 30 pounds dude those things college there's a reason it's the best uh like one of the or used to be the best frozen dinner, because it's just loaded down with everything. I mean, I've said it before. I gained 30 pounds my first semester of college because all I ate was chicken pot pies from Marie Callender. Yeah, those will put it on. Probably didn't help that I was drinking hella beers, too, not to brag. God, you're a frat, dude.

I was out there eating Kid Cuisines. Where are you? That was my favorite as a kid. With the penguin? Was it a penguin? I think it was. I was out there eating Kid Cuisines. Where are you? That was my favorite as a kid. With the penguin? I was out there. Was it a penguin? I think it was. I think it was.

I was out there schwapping. Got it. Schwapping. I was schwapping. Speaking of schwaps, we've got some recent reviews to read. You guys got any? Schwaps. Any schwaps?

Oh, it was a penguin, dude. There's a lot of schwap talk in the reviews lately. Really? Yeah. Are you schwapping? A lot of schwapping. Yeah, we got some recent reviews. Honestly, I just want more reviews from the people, not only on this podcast, but on every podcast across the board.

If you're a fan of WASH Media, please leave us a review. It helps. And we just like reading, and we like getting gassed up. Sometimes after a little while, your reviews tone down a little bit because all the real ones have already left them, and then you just have negative Nancys that are having a bad day that just hop in and start ruining you. Damn, dude. It's bullshit. You guys want to read a couple of these?

Yeah. This is from RiddleCB. I wonder if he's doing a throwback to us with the CB. You've got to think he is. Or it could be like Chris Bosh. He's an Austin guy. He probably likes our food takes in Austin. I heard he was at Hat Creek earlier getting some Bogo tacos.

He could probably eat many tacos. Yeah. This first review. Imagine. This is five stars, by. Yeah. This first review. Imagine. This is five stars, by the way. It says you're at Star Bar with your buddies and they don't have any Schweips for you. Five out of five birthday cakes. H for this pod. Can't imagine, man. From Schweipster.

He left a review that just says Schweips. It's spelled Schweips. And he spelled it S-C-H-W-I-P-E-S. How do we feel about that spelling of Schweips? I like just S-H, but I'm not going to complain tooE-S. How do we feel about that spelling of Schweppes? I like just S-H, but I'm not going to complain too much about it. Well, luckily for you, Laxlover69 also likes Schweppes. And he spells it S-

No, he actually messed it up even more. He spelled it S-W-H-I-P-E-S. Schweppes. That's just not right. Yeah, that's a lot of tongue in tongue. That's Swah-hypes. Swah-hypes. You got any Swah-hypes?

You got any Swah-hypes? Hey. Why'd you go Stefan for that? I could really go for some Swah-es. Swahapes. You got any Swahapes? You got any Swahapes? Hey. Why'd you go Stefan for that? I could really go for some Swahapes. Cans S8. Cans. Do we know this person? Says, go hard or go home.

IG follower number 9979 here. Love this pod. This is what I put on when I need mindless background chatter. Get me through a boring task. That may sound like an insult, but if you could understand how bad my ADD is, you would see how valuable this pod is to my life. Wait, I love that this person owns which number follower they were of ours. Number 9979.

Let us know what number you are if you leave a review. What's your number? How low are you, player? Me? I was probably like number two. No, I mean like whoever reaches out to us about it. It's kind of swag if you're like, yeah, follower number 400 right now. Like if you were a triple-digit follower, like before we hit 1,000, that's big.

That's big time. That probably happened day like two. Here we have one about Randy. Are you ready for this? Yeah. It says steak choices. Randy is the only one with good taste in steak. T-bone greater than filet. Wait, we forgot to call him taste in steak. T-Bone greater than

filet. Wait, we forgot to call him T-Bone. We just dropped that. Yeah, I should have said this one's about T-Bone. Damn. T-Bone over there in the members only jacket. I don't remember the last time I even ordered T-Bone. I've never ordered a T-Bone. It's like what you ordered as a kid because you saw it on a cartoon. That was like the Bugs Bunny

go-to steak. It's a cartoon steak? Yeah. We also have one from Micah Wee Wee. Okay. I don't know if that's Micah Wiener. The guy from Too Much Dip. It says,

Conversations in my head. The conversations the lads have each pod are eerily similar to the conversations I have in my head when I'm getting stoned off, or when I'm too stoned to get off the couch. I love that. That's fair. Yeah. That's fair. You guys want to hear a couple negative reviews?

Yes. Uh-oh. Brinder343334 said, nah, one star. Don't do it. If I could rate it less than a star, I would. What's his problem? What's your problem, Brinder? That username's trash, too.

We also got AreaMan998, who has not only left a negative review on this podcast numerous times, but other ones as well. Oh, this sounds like a real winner. Yeah, he's cool. It says, Arrested Development, a podcast for 20-something men with social skills of 12-year-olds. Eh, okay. That's not wrong. To be honest, you could have just put five stars on that, and I'd be like, yeah, that's good.

Yeah, it's one star. I feel like we have better social skills than that. Like, at least give us, like, teenager. I get along well with many people, so. That says a lot about my social skills, I would At least give us teenager. I get along well with many people. That says a lot about my social skills, I would say. It's true. You know what?

What a jerk. Come on. Someone also said, Taylor Buford said, we have major kook vibes. That's a joke for Brett and I. Just three guys in their mid-40s who try to run a frat blog

and now watching shows like Outer Banks convincing themselves they're totally pogues. We're not mid-40s who try to run a frat blog and now watching shows like Outer Banks convincing themselves they're totally pogues. We're not mid-40s. We have kook vibes, just to be clear. And also, if your name's Taylor, Taylor Buford, you have kook vibes as well. Yeah, Taylor.

Taylor and Topper, dude. Just chill. Let's look this person up and harass them. We've got Kelly Hickler. She left a review on August 27, 2020. I think these are cherries? Or it's a coconut with a straw out of it. No, it's definitely a coconut with a straw coming out of it.

She left three of those emojis and just says, Will Mommy's of the future. Is that a negative or a positive review? Positive, dude. Okay, we're back to the good stuff. Oh, yeah. Only the good shit now. Alright. We also have Coffee Guy, or Gen214828. Coffee Guy says, The only thing about a burr grinder, it's the burr that grinds.

That's true. How's your coffee journey going, Dylan? Really well. Really, really well. I need to get one because a backer sent me some Stumptown beans, and I don't have a grinder. So I need to order one. What's the one that you ordered? I can give you my trash blade one if you'd like.

I don't want it because it's trash. Okay. I got the— I might just use my manscaped razor and just chop those beans up. I got the Cuisinart. Is that how you say it? Cuisinart? I say quiz. Quiz? Quiz. Mine's the Cuisinart one. Cuisinart. And it really does the job.

I feel like it's Cuisinart. It might be. I have nothing to compare it to. I've never used a different one. But it works really, really well. Do you guys want to hear this last one? You can set the coarseness of it. Yeah, all right. And also how much of it you want. You hit a button and walk away.

Did you tell people how you already gave up on the nitro? What? I heard you like, dude, it's too much trouble. No, I love it. Well, didn't you order like 100 canisters of the stuff? And then like, you're already gone. You're already out of them, aren't you? This is going to be a whippets joke. And no, I still have plenty left. Real good. I have 37 left, went through it. You're already gone. You're already out of them, aren't you? This is going to be a Whippets joke.

No, I still have plenty left. Real good. I have 37 left, actually. Okay. They call you Devo Chivary. Yeah, they do. Correct that whip. I thought Devo was a Whippet real good.

I don't like what's happening right now. Isn't Devo the longhorn? That's Bevo. Bevo. Ah. Close. Fuck. You're thinking of the coach of Clemson, Devo Swinney.

Something like that. Man, Austin's going to hate me after this episode. No, they're not. They already did after your salsa take. That's what I mean. Yeah, it's just. Oh, yeah. This last one is just.

This is from Average Goat, which seems like a... I love that. ...oxymoron. Just the greatest average of all time. He calls you out, Dave. He says, this is for you, Dave. Good. He says, thanks for the hard work.

Need more weed content. Wait, was he calling me out for the weed? I think he wants you to blaze more. Smoke them if you got them, Dave. I don't think those two things go hand in hand. Hard work and weed content. Isn't your 2020 initiative to just blaze more? It's really, you know, it's been a while, honestly. Do you do pot?

Do the pots. You got to do the pots sometimes, dude. We need to have another boat trip. You know what it's time for? This weekend of fun. Oh, yes. As always, presented by Miller High Life. Miller High Life brings the pride to the simple things in life.

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You're going to knock out some tasks? I'm going to whip it real good. Okay. Miller High Life's been faithfully brewed the same way since its start on New Year's Eve in 1903. Their founder believes that everyone should enjoy the good life, Miller High Life's been faithfully brewed the same way since its start on New Year's Eve in 1903. Their founder believes that everyone should enjoy the good life, which is why he created the Champagne of Beers, which High Life has been famously known as for over 100 years. This guy's got history behind it.

Miller High Life, the Champagne of Beers, a quality beer within everyone's reach, celebrates responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Dylan, what are you doing this weekend? Well, thank you for asking, Will. I have parks on Friday and Saturday. And I promised him a trip to the Dinosaur Park. Again?

He went last weekend, dude. Dude, how many are there? Dude. There's so many dinosaur parks. There's one in the Arlington area, which is the one he went to last weekend. He was with Dallas. They went to go see family. But, yeah, there's one between here and Bastrop. And that's the one we will be going to Friday.

Maybe Saturday because he has school Friday and I don't know what time we're going to get out there. So it might be Saturday. We're going to do a dinosaur park trip. If y'all want to come, hey, let's roll. Let's roll out there. Squad up. Let's look at some dinosaurs. Weather should be nice. I'm good, dude. Thank's roll out there. Squad up. Look at some dinosaurs.

The weather should be nice. I'm good, dude. Thank you. You know how much he loves y'all now after being in here so much? You said he has school Friday? You might want to double check that. He told me he's thinking about dropping out. Yeah.

He told me it was over your bullshit. Wow. I don't like hearing that. That's pretty much it. Going to watch a lot of football probably. Oh, yeah. You know, big games. Texas versus Texas Tech is this weekend.

Should be a rout. Bloodbath. What if your team doesn't win the big game? I'll be pretty upset, probably. Yeah. Yeah. What time's that game? What time's kick? I don't know. Okay, well. I don't know. But, yeah, I look forward to a fun weekend.

Is that a home game? I believe it's in Lubbock. Weird things happen in Lubbock, especially to the Longhorns. Chris Sims can tell you about it. We were staying in Lubbock. I'm not going to reach out to Chris Sims. I was at that game in the student section

and everybody ripped up the bleachers and just passed them around. It was kind of fun. For real? Yeah. Did you throw some tortillas too? I did not. People probably were though.

Tortillas. And that is it for me, folks. Brett's throwing mission tortillas or whatever generic brands. Mission? Come on, dude. I like the carb balance tortillas now. No. God dang it. What about you, Dave? What's your weekend looking like?

I'm going to go over to your house and do whippets all weekend. Come on. I don't know, man. I'm probably going to watch the games. Probably just hang out. A nice Miller highlight does sound fantastic. I need to go re-up. Weather looks good.

We were doing a forecast check before. Might get a little warm. 90's still a little warm for me right now. More of like an 85 and under guy. But, you know, maybe I'll get out there swinging a little bit. I don't have any plans to play, but should be good. Might be low-key, but it's one of those weekends where, like, I have no plans, but if somebody hits us with the right invite,

I'll go over to somebody's house and make dinner and then do whippets. I did invite you to the dinosaur park, just so you know. I should say. I'm busy. We need to go to the one in Glen Rose. Y'all want to come by the crib Saturday? Watch some football? No, I think I got plans.

Hang out with me in parks? Tech is going to be back later on in the week, so I'll remember. Okay. Okay. Yeah. Let me check my schedule. But really, we should link. Let me check my schedule. Parks would love that.

We linked last week. I think we're good for a while. No, we should link again. Yeah, dude, we threw you a bone last week. Stop doing this to us. Dude, I'm talking high lives in football and the homie. Do you have patio lights yet? I might even get some hummus and some peppers to dip.

Right. Brett, not to dwell on this, but... Some Cherry's Jubilee? Some Cherry's Jubilee. Brett lives in a part of Austin that has the South First area. There are so many good Tex-Mex spots in your vicinity within a half-mile radius. And he's getting pace. Motherfucker's going to Randall's and buying pace.

You want me to bring the salsa home from the local touch match spot? I do. I do indeed. Throughout the week? Yes, I do. The oak probably has good salsa. No. Catch the fever. Don't give the oak that much credit. Listen, catch the... They do a great two-for-five taco Tuesday, which I took advantage of last night.

Salsa's not great. Dude, the taco scene has never been cheaper in Austin right now. Two for $5, bogos? Come on. Everybody's struggling. Are Sig Uds allowed at your house on Saturday? Are what? Sig Uds.

Of course. Yeah, females are allowed in my house. It's not like a rule. What did you say? Even though it's for the boys Saturday. Sig Uds? Can't we go with Sig Uds? I thought you were doing like a Sig Epps joke. It took me like a rule. What did you say? Even though it's for the boys. Can we go with Sig-O's? I thought you were doing

like a Sig-Epps joke. It took me a sec to figure it out. No, you don't have to. I feel like Sig-O's is the move here. You could also just say girlfriend. Yeah, but then people

get mad at me. Yeah, we get it, dude. We get it, dude. You're dating someone, man. Wow. Must be nice. That's badass. You have a girlfriend, dude.

Dude, is that the worst thing that someone can respond? Like where you say, you pop into a group text and you throw something out that you're doing or you did. And there's a pause and somebody's like, oh, that's badass. Like, okay, dick. I know. It's not badass.

What are you doing, Brent? I'm getting a little Twilight 18 in tomorrow. Ideally. Are you doing the Falcon Head thing? Falcon Head thing, yeah. I threw out the invite earlier, but you guys have a stream, I believe. And I wouldn't get home until like 8.30. So it would be tough to do. So I'm going to get the Falcon Head Twilight 18 in tomorrow night.

Nice pop there, Dave. Sorry, that was my back. And then for the rest of the weekend, I don't have anything planned. Who are you playing with? I'm a single. Well, there's one thing I know about Falconhead. It always works out if you're a single. You walk on.

You won't get paired with us and leave the course in a rampage. Well, I'm not walking on. I have a tee time. Okay, you're good. That dude was not happy. That dude was not thrilled that he was playing with us. He did not want to play with the boys. Literally walked off the course.

Quit. So. That's it. Caroline's in town for a couple days, and we're just going to... You're going to Sig Uth? Sig Uth, yeah. We'll probably get some touch match off at some point. Pace?

You're going to bring your own pace to the restaurant? Probably. New York City. Like, hey, babe, can you put this in your bag? There's some good happy hours around. And I've always wanted to try that. What's the one on Old Torf? Maddie's?

Dave went to it. M-A-T-T-I-E-S? Yeah, I think so. Oh, yeah. I've wanted to try that. It's like a Bramble joint. I've wanted to try that for a minute. It's very cool.

I got the peacocks. Yes. It's good. It's good? It's solid? Yes. Very cool. Might try that. It's like a Grammobile joint. I wanted to try that for a minute. It's very cool. I got the peacocks. Yes. It's good. It's good. It's solid. Yes. Very cool. Might hit that.

So that's all I got. Dylan's house on Saturday, potentially. Patio party. So we'll see. It'll be a situation. We'll see. I don't have much going on this weekend. All right.

See you Saturday, then. I'm carless all day on Friday. Not ideal for your boy. Ooh. It's all right. You need a detail? Where's the whip? No, Sally's got an issue with her car, so we've got to take hers in,

and then she's got to take mine to work. I was like, why don't you just Uber 45 minutes north? Like, don't take my car. I've got to go to the grocery store and buy a bunch of shit we don't need. Yeah. But I've got an early morning on Saturday. Saturday's a sports day. Man, you, 6.30.

You getting up with me? Mm-hmm. All right, I'll text you bright and early. I'll be there. Do we have F1 this weekend, Dylan? It's hard to say. Let's see. I really can't tell.

We might have the Russian. Ooh. We have the Russian GP. Formula One? Yeah. I'll take Lewis Hamilton. You're going to take Lewis? Yeah.

That's a good call. You want to make a wager on it? Yes. Ooh, we might need you on. I'll take Lewis Hamilton. You're going to take Lewis? Yeah. That's a good call. You want to make a wager on it? Yes. Ooh, we might need you on. I'll take the field. Can I get the field? Yeah. Can I get the field?

What are the odds on him winning? I'll give you a six-pack of beer if I get the field and you get Lewis Hamilton. Okay. Deal. Okay. Well, we might need you on to break down the Bubba Wallace-MJ. Yeah, what's up with MJ? Just getting a team.

Well, I mean, that's not- Is that NASCAR? That's a NASCAR one, yeah. Whatever. I don't think Bubba Wallace hasMJ. Yeah, what's up with MJ? Just getting a team. Is that NASCAR? That's a NASCAR one, yeah. I don't think Bubba Wallace has made it to the F1 ranks yet. He'll get there. You think he might? All day Saturday, I got absolutely nothing going on. Just nothing. I haven't even gotten invited to do anything.

Is Easy Tider open yet? Not yet. Not yet. They're doing a lot of teasing. They're doing the less is more marketing for their new spot. They did just shut down the other one full time. They're going to want to get some asses in seats soon. We could have you on to talk on Too Much Dip Monday to talk Formula One.

It's in Russian. You know I'm a Formula One boy. Yeah, I don't really have too much going on. We were going to clean out our closet last week. It turned out I just cleaned out my part of the closet and Sally didn't do her part. It's just an absolute mess. It's even worse than when we started. Outside of that, I don't have anything.

Brett, do you have any breaking news for us today? Well, as a matter of fact, I do. There's not a ton today, unless you want to get political, which we could. But the timeline and trending is basically just all stuff that we don't want to touch on. So I will go Deion Sanders. He was on Twitter saying exactly what he wants in a house, noted Jackson State University coach now.

He said, and I quote, Jackson, Mississippi, I need a gated, secluded crib, four bedrooms, at least five acres and above, ready with or without furniture. And if there's a private lake, that's a bonus. I plan on being in the SIP for a while, so I'm trying to get comfortable. Please help. Hashtag Coach Prime. I feel like there's services out there that he could use other than twitter maybe somebody's be like hey man i got a house for you like you can have it you need to talk

to the donors the boosters buddy mcgarity do people call it the sip or is that just a prime thing i think they call it the sip sippy mississippi that is i know they say mississippi they don't they don't do that the second out of three eyes can you spell mississippi is this ippi yeah that's correct everyone knows that you gotta get in the groove what i don't know oh what the hell's that okay all right randy randy grow up man no what's what's this about yeah dylan can you confirm or deny whether you know what time it is and that your apple watch says that you're tenderizing some meat you can see that our bands don't match that is not my watch that's a trash band on an apple watch yeah it's ugly as hell like what are you doing uh thank you randy for bringing that to everyone's attention watch media on youtube oh can we do a hashtag keep an eye out?

I don't know what that means. What are we looking out for? Let's do it. Is there Sunday scary stuff? Hard to say. Waiting on a couple emails right now, but there's some merch opportunities in the future. We'll see about it. Eyes emojis. We'll see about it.

Should we get the hell out of here? Fun episode. I called it. Yeah, you did call it. That was fun. That was fun. All right, guys. It's been fun.

We'll see you Friday. Bye was fun. That was fun. All right, guys. It's been fun. We'll see you Friday. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.