Circling Back - Billionaire Space Kings & College Hunks

Episode Date: December 8, 2021

We officially have a new billionaire space king in our lives, we make our own Ben & Jerry’s flavors, Dillon rates Dave’s tree, Dave also has a new chimney sweep, and This Weekend in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (15:40) The Real Billionaire Space King (29:00) Make Your Own Ben & Jerrys (38:42) Dillon Rates Daves Tree (56:20) Dave x Chimney Sweep (1:08:00) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Cuts: www.cutsclothing.com/steam (15% off!) Keeps: www.keeps.com/steam (First Month FREE) Nomad: www.nomadgoods.com/steam Ritual: www.ritual.com/circlingback (10% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge presented by roback get 20 off everything at roback using backer 20 with your first order my name is will to freeze to my left david peach vibes rough thanks will um just want to give everybody an update for the off mic personalities um specifically intern adam and big game Brett, Magic Bullet, who were in the little bullpen room doing some work, grinding. Brett has joined a beer league. You heard him talk about it on Too Much Dip.

So he is playing hockey. He informed me that he played yesterday at 7.45 a.m., which was a shocker to me. And he was recently stretching on the ground in that room. Got the groin pull or the groin strain going, which is classic, just getting back into hockey injury. And then also we've got Adam, who I was washing my hands in the sink in the bathroom, and Adam walked in.

Instead of going to one of the urinals or the stalls, he walked up to the sink and turned the sink on, started splashing water on his face. I was just like, I looked at him jokingly. I was like, oh, long night. And he just kind of gave me like a, oh, yeah. Tied one off last night. Good for him.

Just a face wash. It's on? Still don't get that saying, but okay. Tied one on. I'm about to break them boys off. I feel like we figured out what that meant, and then I can't remember it. I don't think we did. Where the phrase originates.

So I'm just saying that room's down bad. Yeah. Is Brett still on his swing journey? No, I think he's giving that up. I'm tired of hearing about the damn swing journey. I think he's pivoting to hockey guy now. I think the swing journey went so poorly that he's like, you know what? I'm just going to completely pivot to hockey.

Just switch sports on him. Yeah. Speaking of someone who needs to go on a swing journey, Dylan Chivry is in the building. Hello, everybody. I'm here. Happy to be here. If you notice, I have a blank piece of paper and a pen in front of me, David. I'll be taking notes today.

Really? So you've got a new laptop, and you know that they have a notes app on that laptop, right? You know, like, when you're in school... What the hell? And the principal comes in and sits in the back of the room with, like, a notepad, and he's got, you know, like, the glasses on the end of his nose, and he's, like, he's just checking to make sure

everything's on the up and up. You know, principals can be ladies, too. That's me. I don't know if you know that. Yeah, actually, shout-out to Miss Jacobs, our principal. I said he because my principal was a male. That's also because you're just oozing toxic masculinity. Shout out to Dr. Kernwine.

All right? Doctor. Yeah. That's a flex. Dr. what? Kernwine. Dr. Kernwine. That's not a song.

Anyway, I suggest you guys just bring it today. Okay. Okay. Because I'm taking notes, as I said. I'm going to take notes on my Microsoft laptop. I will write you the fuck up. Dylan, do you understand, though, that your new laptop does have this thing called Notes,

and you can click into it, and you can actually type it? Google Docs. Do you write faster than you type? That's a fair question. You guys just don't know. Y'all don't know what's going on around here. All right? I have the paper.

I have the pen. I'm observing today. So just... Do you think this will affect your podcast performance? Absolutely not. Are you kidding? Are you serious, David? I had to ask.

We've got a show to do. Can I talk about something that's sad that happened to me today? Sure. Was it a spinach salad? Was it you borrowing a piece of paper from our producer, Randy, so you could handwrite notes? If you follow me on Instagram, at DSchivery. Will, please.

Add me on the group. Thank you. That was very quiet, but thank you. You'll notice that I dropped my son off at school today. Marks. You broke that boy off. And for the first time I dropped him off. I dropped him off.

Let me say what I gotta say. Go ahead. And for the first time he decided to be dropped off at the sidewalk instead of what I usually do which is get out with him and walk them up to the front door of the school, give them a big hug, tell them I love them, and send them on his way.

And the kids growing up, it's a sad day, man. He's all grownsed up? I want him to just freeze right now. It's a great age. Freeze is growth. I'd like to defreeze him. Like Will. Like have him hang out with Will for a couple weeks.

Just see how he is afterwards. See what kind of rom-coms he's into. He'll come back just dressed in oatmeal shit. He'll be like, Dad, please let me watch the holiday. And eating food that I can't even pronounce. Do you guys notice who liked my list versus who didn't like my list? No. Dude.

I didn't. All the real ones were liking my list, and all these hard-os were just anti. You guys saw it second place. That's No. Dude. I didn't. All the real ones were liking my list and all these hard-os were just anti. You guys saw it second place. That's cute. Yeah. It's sad. It's not cute. You did get second. It's sad, David. Kids growing up, man. It is cute that he is exercising some independence. Tugging at his dad's heartstrings, man.

Do you think maybe he didn't want to be seen with the guy who had the most generic Christmas draft? It's true. Are you serious? Dude, some people draft movies that are generally accepted as being good, and I put good in quotes. And other people draft actual good movies, like Dave and I. I handily beat Will. I lapped Dave like 10 times.

Dude, it's like if we did a book draft, Dylan would be like, oh, I'll do Great Expectations, please. Like, cool, dude. You like the classics. Like, please. I only do Faulkner. oh i'll do great expectations please like cool dude you like the classics like please i only do faulkner yeah i don't even know what great expectations is dickens luckily i don't have great expectations for you the original t-bone dickens big michael creighton guy jurassic creighton creighton creighton's right Jurassic Park Hero Jurassic Park I don't read any of that shit

TBH I can't even read honestly I'm so rattled that Parks doesn't want to have a dinosaur themed birthday party called Jurassic Parks The ultimate layup birthday party theme Do you think he just Maybe he's grown out of it Nah son Just like he's grown out of

When's his birthday? February 19th. Oh, yeah. I knew that. Did I tell you what I had for dinner last night? What did you have for dinner last night? I thought you were going to say dino nugs. We post-mated Schlotzkies.

That's a true statement. Did you get a tray of them or just? No, I just went with the original. Okay. That original Schlotzkies sandwich is fantastic. You know, I'm an olive guy. I love black olives. That's a nice touch. I'm a green olive guy. I've always thought it's weird that an olive guy. I love black olives. That's a nice touch.

I'm a green olive guy. I've always thought it's weird that you order your martinis with black olives. Surely that's a thing. No. Do bartenders even eat black olives back there? Huh? They should. That's gross.

I just looked it up. Dirty martini with black pepper and black olives. What do they call it? The Dave? Dude, that sounds so good. The Dirty Dave, dude. The Dirty Dave. Whole squad drinking Dirty Dave.

That's so gross. Okay. That's pretty good, man. I once ordered a martini at an oyster bar in Austin, Texas, where I ordered one that had an onion in it. Have you guys ever seen an onion in a martini? Of course. Dude, it rattled the tables next to me. I have never seen that.

Dude, they were so freaked out. It's the little, like, pearl onions. Cocktail onions, yeah. A cocktail onion, yeah. And the people next to me were so freaked out. They thought I had an oyster in my martini. I was like, you guys are disgusting. That's where I thought you were going with it.

Because, like, that doesn't seem that out of bounds. It doesn't seem like something I would want, but it wouldn't shock me. It's kind of like Clamato juice. I just took a note. What's up with Clamato juice? You're not going to get an answer from me. I can tell you that right now. Clamato?

You say Clamato, I say Clamato. I don't even know that word. Is it Clamato juice? No one calls it Clamato juice, right? I mean, I guess that makes sense since it's tomato. I call it it clamato juice right i mean i guess that makes sense since it's tomato juice clamato but who's like who's like oh man i'm parched right now i'm really craving a uh a tomato juice with a hint of clam in it one one dirty dave dirty dave please i'm gonna do a tiktok randy hold me to this um me doing my martini recipe the dirty dave and it's gonna really blow people's minds when i hit him with the black olive you know i like that dirty dave

can't wait to watch that man dirty dave b dave there's dave what's the deal with dave pop i say i sing that in my head every time I get some of that smart pop, whatever it is. What is it in there? What's the deal with this smart pop and when's it going to run out? It's good popcorn. It's not that smart, honestly. There's nothing smart about it. It's just popcorn.

It's just a low-cal option. I went to a movie recently. One, my life is a movie. Last night was a movie. My life is a movie, but I actually went and saw a movie recently in Canto my life is a movie. My life is a movie, but I actually went and saw a movie recently in Canto.

You ever heard of that? Means I love. Pretty lit, honestly. If you're trying to go see a good Pixar film, a nice little heartwarming film set in Columbia. Missouri?

Not Missouri. No, no, no. The one in South America. Highly recommend going and seeing it, but it reaffirmed that I just can't eat popcorn at this point. What? Why? Dude, the kernels South America. Highly recommend going and seeing it, but it reaffirmed that I just can't eat popcorn at this point. What? Why?

Dude, the kernels, man. I spent half the damn movie trying to get a kernel out of my incisor. What was he doing in there? He wouldn't shut the fuck up about his chicken. Just issuing orders? Eating a bunch of chicken. Damn. Eleven herbs and spices.

Do we know what they are? Yep. Cummin, paprika, oregano. No one's doing cummin. Pepper, crushed pepper, Himalayan sea salt, or just Himalayan pink salt. None of this is accurate.

Epsom salt. Why are there so many different salts in there? There's other spices as well. I think there's chipotle chili powder. The only herb I keep in my house is the kind of smoke. Damn, that mota? That sticky shit. Stop it.

Sticky mota. What you've done right there is a nice touch. Thank you. That's the only herb I know about, man. Stop it. Really? So you're microwaving your salmon, and you need to put a little herbs and spices on it, and so you just grind up some weed and toss it on there?

Get out my little zigzags, and I roll it up. Really? Have you ever rolled a joint? We went over this, yeah. Actually, can we do a TikTok that's just us trying to roll a joint? No, my hands are too trash. I can't put my hands on camera. When I'm really good at it, it's going to be sus.

It was not smokable. That's how bad my J was. So you're saying that you rolled it all wrong. J's on the basketball court wet. Yeah, are you from Oklahoma? Sticky J. That jacket puts off Oklahoma vibes. You look like you're from Durant.

Because it's a Native American motif is that why shots of kevin just oklahoma this is oklahoma by the way not taking this lincoln riley thing well i don't know if you guys have been seeing this just not going well for them i mean they've moved on they're clearly not mad but um this is like when someone breaks up and the angry ex is just commenting on their Instagram posts like, oh, that was quick. They're doing the thing where they block. Are you moved on? They block the ex and then they ask their friend to handle their phone so they can look

up and just check in and see what they're up to. Can I use your phone? I want to check it out. Hey, can you view his story, please? Who's he with? Yeah. Look at his story. Who's that girl? Do you know her?

He's with Samantha. That slut. Samantha. I always knew she was disgusting. Are we talking about somebody specific here? Yeah, maybe this is a little too specific.

I don't know what this is about. Yeah, shouts to all the Samanthas out there. We love our women in STEM. We also love our Samanthas. We love women, period. Yeah. Facts. What's Randy writing?

He's writing something. Yeah, I don't know. Let's talk about ritual real quick. Randy, I got the pen, all right? Put your pen down. Yeah, we only need one. There's only room for one note-taking person. Are there any people out there looking for a multi-vitamin company that they know and trust well i was until i found one dude the ritual it's that company it's that it's that company pal protein powders can feel intimidating trust it trust me like look

at these arms look at these little look at these little things i'm intimidated by protein powders or i was until i got got my ritual in the mail. Which is why your arms have noticeably gotten bigger. Dude, they're getting bigger. I actually think they're getting bigger from holding Fritz. Much more toned. Like, I'm not trying to get bigger. I'm actually trying to get Fritz to cut weight so I don't have my arms getting bigger from holding him.

You're trying to get your baby son to cut weight. I don't recommend that. Yeah. But the truth is, deep down, it's in cellular level deep. We all need protein. It's about more than just muscles. So the team of scientists over at Ritual, you ever heard of Harvard? Pretty good school if you ask me.

They reimagined protein from the ground up and inside out, from how it's made to who it's made for and why it's needed. The result's a delicious plant-based protein or a PBP offered in three premium formulations for distinct life stages and unique nutrient needs all with the same high standards an approach to commitment to trace ability that ritual is known for so whether you're doing reps or you're more into dog walks dylan you do both oh yeah introducing essential protein it's here to shake things up stuff just tastes good facts it's big facts man does everyone get a protein shaker or are we just special boys?

Because I love the protein shaker, like the thing that they gave us. It looks good. I don't know if we're special boys or not, but I do love that thing. You're a special boy. Everyone knows that you deserve to know what you're putting in your body and why. With their one-of-a-kind visible supply chain, you'll always know what's in their formulas, where the ingredients came from, and why they're included. For tomorrow as much as today, they're made with nutrients to support bones.

My bones. It's their money. That's true. Their brains. Dylan, you love brains. And muscles. And help maintain muscle mass as you age, Dylan. Clean, plant-based formulas specifically created to support nutrient needs in different life stages.

Whether you're young, 18 or up. Maybe you're pregnant. Maybe you're postpartum. Maybe you're over 50. Maybe you're pushing 40. Staring 40 right in the eyes. We out here. This doesn't have to be about my age.

I'm talking about myself. I don't know about you. I'm looking at 35 straight in the eyes. I'm less than a month away from 35. I don't even remember 35. It was so long ago. Like I said, this stuff just tastes good. The delicious handcrafted vanilla flavor made from direct from farmer vanilla bean extract,

sustainably harvested in Madagascar. Are you kidding me? I know we were talking about feel-good animated movies, but I didn't know we were getting our protein from Madagascar, too. In terms of standards, the peas are sustainably grown and regeneratively farmed right here in the United States. No added sugar.

No added sugar alcohols. Just go out and get some. It's soy-free, gluten-free. It's just free. Free your mind. Free your body. And the rest will follow. Free your mind. Why not shake up your ritual to make something new less scary? Ritual offers a money-back guarantee

if you're not 100% in love. Plus, our listeners get 10% off during your first three months. Just visit ritual.com slash circling back to add the essential protein today. That's ritual.com slash circling back. We got billionaire news. This week in billies.

Are we tripping billies's right now a new favorite billionaire you know me is it less waxing a big billion it's not less waxing it's not less waxing or will um a lot of people are confused right now japanese billionaire launches in the media is not telling anybody they're notans cash giveaways and a zero-gravity haircut. There's been a lot of talk the last few months. All the billionaires, or a few of them, are trying to go to space. Some of them are. Space.

I'm using space in quotes because it's semi-space, in my opinion. It's not space-space. Like, they're not fist-pumping God or anything. They're just out there. I think if I had to guess, I think Elon is fist pump god that's that's fair they're spending like 30 seconds in like the the most like outer layer of our atmosphere it's just it's that's not space well not dylan let me tell you about japanese retail mogul uh yusaku mayazawa he's headed for the international space station after his spacecraft took off wednesday uh from a launch center in yes worldwide not in the united

states corpus christi not in the united states he's not working the rigs from three to midnight will um probably in like uh malaysia do you know what that is yeah you go now you go uh i don't know uh i don't know kazakhstan why do you go from kazakhstan his way i don't have great potassium i don't know do that here they do have um they have uranium mining there i don't know anyway that's where he's doing it. A space enthusiast. He's going to spend 12 days, Dylan, in orbit with his cameraman. See? 12 days.

This guy's a real one. It gets better. He will use part of the time to perform tasks from a list of 100 challenges he crowdsourced on the Internet. The Internet. Hey, what is with the billionaire space race no just let dave finish real quick let dave finish real quick you've got a lot of uh it doesn't it doesn't do much for me man i don't know what hold on like what does he crowdsource from the internet in order to do hold on doesn't do much for dylan i just like the great unknown the net the final frontier like

where are they all they all feel like they have to do it now? Just shut up. Stay on Earth with the rest of us idiots. These tasks include getting a haircut in zero-gravity conditions. Can you imagine how crazy that would be? Hair's just going to go everywhere. That'd be so annoying. That'd be so annoying if you're the other person orbiting right now.

It's just like, God damn it. Why is that that big of a deal to get a haircut? Like, who is like, dude, he's got to get a haircut up there? You don't want to get faded up while watching the earth rise? Because the cleanup is going to be a total disaster. It doesn't just fall to the floor.

Speaking of cleanup, just more on that in a minute. Maybe we'll do a Flobie. Playing air table tennis. That seems hard. How are you going to hit winners if there's no gravity? Great question. I don't know what air table tennis is. I just know air hockey. Table tennis. That seems hard. How are you going to hit winners if there's no gravity? Great question.

I don't know what air table tennis is. I just know air hockey. Table tennis. It says air table tennis. Okay, this is... What is air table tennis? I think that just means that he's in space.

Oh, that's dumb. Dylan, does this interest you? Searching for signs of alien life. Yeah, okay. Now I'm listening. And then now the one that I think you'll really like.

Experimenting with some bodily fluids. Oh, I'm listening. And then now the one that I think you'll really like. Experimenting with some bodily fluids. Are they going to be spitting in each other's mouths or something? It's a spit-off. What?

I just found his... Look at this. Is he going to... Dude, go off. This guy's a bit lord. Dude, I like this guy. This guy takes like... He's like Elon, but more dedicated dedicated to actually like entertaining his people. 12 days.

Is he doing all 100 of these things or is he just like doing whatever? Finding out what it smells like in space. That's not, I don't see how you could do that without. You can't smell up there. Remember that scene in Total Recall where their face went like the... Never mind. Remember in Face Off when they took their faces off? Face Off.

Take your face off. Do you think, like, if you were in space for 12 days, do you like packs to go up there? Or is everything, like, packed for you by, like, the space people? You bring exactly one juicy sweatsuit. It says juicy across the buttocks. You have to get one fit off for the gram. What would be your space fit? I don't know.

I'm rocking a Von Dutch hat. Trucker hat. Have you seen the new Hulu documentary on the Von Dutch era? There's a new Hulu documentary about Von Dutch. It sounds wild. What a terrible era that was. No, dude, please, dude. You had to wear them like this.

Von Dutch trucker hat. Yeah, but was anything hotter than Paris Hilton wearing a Von Dutch trucker hat, a bedazzled spaghetti string tank top, and some low-rise jeans? What's the punk guy's name again? Ashton Kutcher. Him. He did not do anybody a favor. Dude, he would just punk people he doesn't get enough

credit for being a tool he does not get enough credit for being a tool no he does remember he said he doesn't shower he doesn't bathe his kids i think he's actually a really really good like humanitarian i think he does a lot of work for something he's gonna want his uh wow he's gonna that's awesome i'm glad you're supporting it bad. He's like an environmentalist who doesn't bathe his kids. I think it's like... Yeah, it's for children trafficking. Okay, well, obviously I'm not for human trafficking. I'm just saying like...

But I'm against Von Dutch hat wearers. I'm just saying he deserves a little bit of respect. I would put money on it that Epstein had a Von Dutch hat at one point. Thank you, Randy. Dude, no. Epstein never went Von Dutch, did he? Ghislaine might have. Thank you, Randy.

Dude, no. Epstein never went Von Dutch, did he? Ghislaine might have. I could see Ghislaine being at the Von Dutch fall 2002 launch. Like fashion show? Yeah. Like rubbing elbows with just like, I don't know, I don't even know. Clunes? Like VH1 celebrities back then.

Doing more, allegedly doing more with Clunes than rubbing elbows. Oh, she's rubbing something else. His penis. Okay. Oh, she's rubbing something else. His penis. Okay. Oh, dude, this is crazy. He's going to bid at an art auction in space. Honestly, that's frat as fuck.

That is fucking very cool. Imagine acquiring art while in space. Do they have internet up there? Oh, he's going to answer the question that you were just asking me about. Do spinning tops keep swirling without stopping in space? Spinning top? You've asked me that many times. He's doing Japanese ink calligraphy in space? Need to know what the bubble gum experiment is.

That could be a number of things. This guy's kind of cool. I feel like he's blowing a bubble. This dude rocks, man. Yeah. He's kind of sick. If I was a billionaire, hypothetically speaking, as I'm not currently a billionaire, I feel like I would just like maybe just go on vacation somewhere where I'd have to hang out with people.

How much is this trip going to cost this guy? He doesn't care, dude. Money's not a thing. He has a fortune of $3.4 billion. He's given some money away to his Twitter followers. I'm not actually answering your question. Yeah, he's Mr. Beast. Like such as other things as well.

The South Africa and the Iraq. I don't know. I can't find the answer. I'm just trying to buy myself time and you're not helping me. Like wouldn't you just rather go on a sick vacation? Like take a helicopter ride by some waterfalls and shit? I don't even want to go to space, man. I mean,

if I got the offer, I would want to do it. Sally has gone on record saying she wouldn't let me. I don't want to do it. You can't hold me down. Is the reason you don't want to go to space because you know you'll age like way quicker?

You'll come back and you'll be like 140? Wouldn't y'all be the ones that are aging faster than me? Oh yeah, that's how it works. No one knows. I'm gone for like 20 minutes and you'll come back and y'all are like 85. What if you than me. Oh, yeah, that's how it works. No one knows. I'm gone for like 20 minutes, and then I come back, and y'all are like 85.

What if you're like the anomaly? Like you went to space, and gravity just fucked your shit up. Or no gravity, I guess. I don't know why I would be different. You're built different. That's true. Would you pack your shacket if you went to space?

Of course. If you went to space for an hour, you would come back, and we would be the same age as you. I heard Parks was trying to walk into class without you today because he said that you're wearing your jacket too much his classmates are worried about you he knows i got swag does he i got dad swag does he sick yeah he loves it i don't know this guy this guy i appreciate this guy how do y'all feel about this whole like oh we're gonna have to all have to live on mars one day or some shit i can tell you that it won't be me yeah i'll be dead george jetson was born recently you think there's some

some uh merit to that no i think when the earth when the earth is inhabitable i think we're all just going to become extinct yeah i know i think it's going to be really miserable for a lot of people but i'll be dead at that point so like my my grandson i'll have to deal with that maybe maybe you won't maybe it'll be in like 20 years. No. I don't think it'll be in 20 years. One of the tasks he has is to prank someone who's sleeping. If I'm in space and you start fucking with me, like you put my hand in warm water. Or you draw a wiener on my forehead.

We're throwing space hands. You put shaving cream in your hand and then it itches your nose with a feather or something? Dude, if I go to space with either of you. We put a bunch of space ice cream in his hand. He's going to get the dogs. Space ice cream. It's ice cream of the future. We're going to wipe it all over his face. It's going to be flying around the cabin.

I will absolutely antique you in space. Yeah, it would be on site. You're getting antiqued. You can't antique in space. Yes, you can. That would be a mess. It's where somebody's passed out or sleeping and you get a handful of flour and just throw it in their face and they look like they have covered in dust

how pissed would the employees of like the the spaceship be when you return to earth and it's just covered in flour and hair space ice cream fucking pube clippings it looks like like it just everyone's so pissed what happened in here yeah like are you guys serious it looks like. Like, it just, everyone's so pissed. Like, what happened in here? Yeah, like, are you guys serious? It's like a frat house. It's like renting a limo for a formal, and you return it, and it's like, yeah, we're not going to get that security deposit back. Someone broke a bottle of Jack in the back of it.

There's shit everywhere. I wonder if when you're in space, you can say whatever the hell you want. Do you think? Yeah. There's no rules. Any of these fuckers. you can't just change the rules because you don't like how i'm doing it i'm up in space oh man this dude this dude's great shout out to him go to this isn't helpful that's that's quite the url actually when you you read the URL that people can go to to go visit his list of things?

YusakuMeizawa.com slash ISS2021 slash result slash EN. So just go there and check it out. I'm on my way. Dude, so you raided my Christmas tree recently, and you noted a lot of the sentimental ornaments on it. Sally has officially gone like off her rocker doing what buying just more ornaments and i appreciate if she was buying ornaments that you know are special to us but i opened up a package the other day and i saw some ornaments in there she bought ornaments of jupiter and saturn and i'm like what do these have to do

with anything she's like i don't know i thought they're they're my favorite planets I'm like, what do these have to do with anything? She's like, I don't know. I thought they're my favorite planets. I'm like, that's awesome? She has a favorite planet? Yeah, like, that's really cool for you to... And it's not Earth? Yeah, like, but do we need this on our tree? Did she bring some drops of Jupiter? They're in her...

Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. Great song. I don't care. If you put that song on, people are going crazy for it. Can I tell a funny anecdote that has nothing to do with what Will just said, but it does have to do with Train? Not A-Train, but the band. I do think we should note that that song did set the bus off on the way back from Micah's wedding.

Really? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I was on the other bus. The Wayne bus. I got on the bus. Dave thought he was on the cool boy bus, and then we showed up, and it just moved him. We just mobbed him. Sorry. And then none of us made it to the after cool boy bus, and then we showed up, and it just moved.

We just mobbed him. And then none of us made it to the after party. Dude, that made your whole night, didn't it? Seeing us on that bus. Dude, you were bussing. I forgot you were even at the wedding. Anyway. So one time, I'm sorry, that was rude.

Mm-hmm. You were there, right? Yeah. Were you there? Y'all know I was there. I remember Bay just i was i thought she might have just showed up i was twirling bae around the dance floor one time in high school my buddy was a member of one of those mega churches in grapevine i won't name it it was fellowship fellowship big one and uh we went they brought us like Like, all right, we'll go. So I went to, like, a Sunday mass, and it kicked off with the band, the cool-dressed band,

probably some Von Dutch hats, but definitely some, like, you know, Express-style black button-downs with, like, big collars that kind of flared out at the bottom and a lot of cool bedazzled jeans. Those are the Pointer Brothers? The band, I'm thinking, oh, they're going to play like a hymn or something. I don't know.

They're going to do something church-like. They just come out and just start doing train songs. Fuck yeah. And people were really into it. And I was looking around. I was like, I was 16. I didn't appreciate train. Not a surprise if you knew me then.

But looking back, I'm like, you know what? I made fun of that. But I'm going to church. I kind of want to hear some train. Yeah, that's not worst-case scenario for those bands. They just came out of the gate, kicked down the door with Drops of Jupiter. Dude, how's Pat Monahan doing?

I always confuse him with Rob Thomas. It's not fair. It doesn't make sense, but... I always confuse him with Rob Thomas. It's not fair. It doesn't make sense, but. 3 AM by Matchbox 20 was in my Spotify top 100 most played songs from 2021. I don't remember listening to it once.

Very confused by that. What's his song with Santana? Smooth. Smooth, dude. I think they're doing another one. He can live off that, right? Smooth money. Like, he doesn't have to do another thing. He's got that smooth mailbox money.

That's some good royalty coming in. Dude, when I was watching the Grateful Dead documentary, they talked about how Jerry Garcia at one point just thought about quitting and just living off ice cream money. Are you kidding? I didn't know that Ben and Jerry were kingmakers like that. I didn't know if they made an ice cream after you, you could just, like, retire. Of course, the Cherry Garcia is the Flav.

Yeah. And then, dude, they're heady dudes. They got fish food and everything. That's sick, man. Should we try to hit up Ben and Jerry's and get, like, an ice cream? What would your ideal ice cream have in it? It would have to be from the future for sure. I'd just do vanilla.

Rocky Roll. I love a good vanilla. Who doesn't love vanilla? It's fine, but when people say it's their favorite flavor, it's like, ah. It pairs so well with like a nice piece of pie. I like cookies and cream a lot. Cookies and cream. Okay, what's going to be your X factor if you're talking to Ben and Jerry about this? I don't know.

Because you can't just be like, yeah, I'll do the cookies and cream one. They're going to be like, okay, do you want some caramel in there, maybe some salt? Check this out. Just take what you thought you knew about ice cream, throw it out. Mine is going to be a new twist on an old favorite. It is going to be one scoop of chocolate, one scoop of vanilla, topped with the ice cream of the future, Dippin' Dots.

I've never had Dippin' Dots. You're marrying the past, present, and the future together. So you open up a half gallon of Dave's Flav. Dave's Flav, exactly right. What does it look like? It's just a mix of shit? Yeah, kind of.

You're putting shit in your ice cream. Well, you gotta try Dippin' Dots. It's so good. Yeah, I know. I'm not against it. Like, just to be clear,

I'm not anti-Dippin' Dots. It's just not something that's ever been an option. Go to a mall one time. It is literally from the future. Dude, the last thing I want to do at this point in my life is go to a mall.

They're the most depressing places on earth. No, you go to Nordstrom, go to Lulu, go to Foot Locker. I feel like I could go to a- That's my my mall trip is footlocker still a thing yeah yeah that's sick i feel like i feel like i could i feel like i could go to a mall and rob a place and like nobody would stop me yeah they would definitely somebody stop what paul blart rolls up on a fucking like hoverboard maybe Maybe. You know what?

If I'm a Foot Locker employee, I'm like, dude, take those Rocherons. Don't even worry about it. Storefronts inside a mall has got to be dirt cheap. Maybe that should be our next office. Did that tactical self-defense guy, does he teach a class on how to stop a robbery? Probably. Oh, my God. Why are those videos so good?

Incredible. Did you see the one where the guys went to heaven? Yes. It's because they died. They tried to use his technique, and they ended up getting murdered, sadly. In TikTok. It was a TikTok murder, not real. What are they doing?

What are they talking about? I don't know. We're never going to talk about that guy, or are we waiting? Are we too early on that? He's like... Is he in on the bit? I'm very confused. He's never going to talk about that guy? Are we waiting? Are we too early on that? He's like. Is he in on the bit? I'm very confused. He's been doing this for a while.

Gun is to the back of your head, and at first moment, they're going to shoot you. This is what you do. And then he, like, moves violently to disarm. It's like, okay, you're dead, son. I like the one where he's showing you how to escape and fight 20 dudes at once. And he's just kind of, like, he's just kind of, like of like shuffling like he's warming up for a game. It's like, dude, I feel like just run. If you have a straight line, run.

Don't try to take on the 20 guys. Yeah, I feel like that's not going to end well. Evade. How about the one where he says that in order to disarm a guy, you stick your finger in between the trigger of the gun and his hand? That is the worst. How precise are your and his hand. Boy, that is the worst. How precise are your hands, sir? Like, that is insane.

You can't just do that. That guy's awesome. You just have to have just absolute fire trigger discipline. Just gotta... Who's this guy? Turn the safety on.

You're not even gonna ask what i want my fucking ben and jerry's flavor what's in your ben and jerry's flavor i don't know all i like my favorite ice cream is half baked and like i don't really it's like the perfect ice cream so i don't know i don't know what kind of edit i would make to that maybe i'd make like a dirty martini ice cream called the dirty dave with some black olives in it oh what's in Half Baked? Half Baked, dude? It's the best. It is the GOAT. Jim Brewer, Chappelle, late 90s comedy.

The movie's pretty funny. No award nominations, unfortunately. Candy makes you dandy. How's it going? Doctor said I needed a bacchiotomy. Let's just quote movies. This is fun. It's chocolate and vanilla ice creams mixed with gobs of chocolate chip cookie dough and

fudge brownies. There's too much going on there. No, there is not. Yes, there is. No, I really... You know your boy likes cookie dough. You know your boy likes brownies. Actually, do you remember this debate that Lily tried to start?

Sounds too rich. What'd she say? You can only have one. Fresh fresh baked cookie fresh baked brownie what are you taking lily's takes are for me it's just bad i'm i'm figuring out i'm not willing to say that because she supports me on instagram the way she's been chirping at me on on the grom in that video when she tried a charleston shoe we're just riding different waves. Are you taking a cookie or a brownie, bitch? A cookie, obviously.

I'm a cookie boy. This is not a question. It is. I literally just asked it. The fact that she posed this question even speaks to her poor taste. Do you know what won her Instagram poll? Do you know what won the Instagram poll, my friend? Brownies. People just making fun of her, probably.

The best brownie is better than the best cookie, and I will ride for that. I don't agree. That is not true, man. You can disagree, but I told you I'm going to stick with it. I'll say this. I feel like most brownies taste the same. Damn. Tell me your mom's made trash-ass brownies without telling me.

We didn't do brownies. Wow. Because they're mid. We were doing like cannoli. Oh! You weren't doing cannolis. Where's the freaking cannoli? Is cannoli the taco of Italian desserts?

Yeah. It kind of is, isn't it? Yeah. I love a good cannoli. They're pretty good. Leave the gun. Take the cannoli. It's from the very famous Christmas movie, Godfather.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. The movie that everyone sits around on Christmas morning And watches together as a family A number of people reached out and said I don't know if it's a Christmas movie But it's always on in my household around the holidays Never go against the family Yeah I don't know I've been dreaming of a white Christmas

Just like the ones I used to know. What's the brother's name who went against the family? Ricky. Fredo? Fredo. Fredo. Broke my heart. Broke my heart.

Fredo. Go ahead and utilize that note-taking ability, Randy. Let's clip that. I'm more taking notes over here. Hey, taking notes. Take note of this. We just said we're all approaching 40. Guess what?

Most of the guys in the world, two out of three men experience air loss by the time they're 35. How long are you going to do it? Keep it going. More than 50 million men in the U.S. experience male pattern baldness. Not ideal. What are you doing, man? No, but I'm the real. No, no, no.

You're going off. I'm going to keep it real right now with keeps. Wow. We've done so many things. He keeps it real. Yeah, I am. I mean, think about all this. I'm trying to keeps my hair.

I mean, I think we'd all be lying if we said we haven't done our due diligence and a little bit of research on some hair loss treatments or maybe some prescription medications. And I have to say, from my research, Keeps appears to be the one that's the easiest, most efficient, even preventative. Medication, no balding. Is what I have said. For sure. It's a simple and stress-free way to keep your hair. They have convenient virtual doctor consultations and medications delivered straight to your door every three months.

You don't have to even leave your home. It's low cost. Treatments start at just $10 per month and keeps offers generic versions as well. Discreet packaging, that's huge. Say you're living in an apartment complex and someone drops a package outside of your door. You've been trying to spit some game at the cutie next to you that's living there. I was going to say the baddie's next door is like,

oh, I see you got some medicine for a – to prevent balding. Yeah, it's not ideal. Maybe this dude is not – doesn't have the swag I thought he had. You don't want that. Yeah. You're trying to holler at that baddie, Dave. Yeah. I mean, tell me about it.

I just was, yeah. As we I mean, tell me about it. I just was, yeah. As we all know, prevention is key and treatments can take four to six months to see results, so it's time to act. Like, I'm going to be 35 in less than a month. I got to get on this. This is crazy. Get on it then. What are you doing? Look at my hair, dog. It's thinning.

If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keeps.com slash steam to receive your first month of treatment for free. F-R-E-E. That's keeps.com slash steam to get your first month free. keeps.com slash steam, baby. After Thanksgiving, Monday after Thanksgiving, your boy graced the timeline. And by the timeline, I mean the podcast with his Christmas tree.

Oh, yeah? It's now time to bring Dave to the forefront. Ooh. Rate me, Daddy. Let's see it. Put it up. Put it up. Okay, Dave, you have a nice little Christmas tree set up here with the fam.

It's very cute. A lot of people have asked. My wife on Instagram posted a photo of our son in a nice little Christmas tree set up here with the fam. It's very cute. A lot of people have asked. My wife on Instagram posted a photo of our son in front of a Christmas tree. That is not our main one. That is his. We have two Christmas trees. One is a mini one in his nursery. Oh, that's a flag.

That's nice. Which wing of the house is this one on? You would hate that one because my cozy 3-2. Which wing is it? You would hate that one because it is all generic bulbs. He has no personal ornaments on his tree. Hey, Dave, my bulbs. Nice flooring.

Thanks, man. I just finished installing them. Yeah, I would love to see those in person. When did you move in, Dave? When did you move into your place? You were invited. You invited me like two days before a weekend when I already had plans. No, you were going to come over, but then you went to the Texas game.

You went to that really awesome Texas game, I'm sure, or some shit. Probably went to Matt's El Rancho. Probably watched Texas get boat raced by Kansas. What are you doing? I think I only went to two Texas games this year, and I think they won them both. Not a lot of people can say that. They stink, baby. You're the only one who can say that. They stink. My wife took this photo, and I've not seen it. This is when we had just put it up, so there's no presence around it. This is a good photo.

I'm not even talking about the tree. It's just everything about it. It's very aesthetic. It's good. I'm zooming in on some of the Ornies. I'm checking out the Ornies as well. Do I make you Orny, baby? What do you call the balls? The bulbs. The bulbs? Yeah, they're bulbs. The I make you Orny, baby? What do you call the balls? The bulbs.

Yeah, they're bulbs. The bulbs, for the record, I've said this before, not technically personal. However, they are a hand-me-down from a great aunt or aunt, and they are mid-century. Which I'm kind of conflicted on whether or not I should factor that in. And I say that because if I'm judging a stranger's tree on the TL, I don't have a backstory like that to back up their otherwise plain-looking ornaments.

If you zoom in, you will see a number of personal ornaments. I have zoomed in. I see the—looks like a bride and groom situation at the top. Yeah, that's actually us. We were married. Uh-huh. Is there a Rhodes ornament on this tree? There is.

There's a little lad somewhere. Yeah, a little photo of him inside. Okay. There's also a baby bottle. I see a pup. I'm seeing numerous pups. I'm seeing numerous pups on this tree, David. Hey, must love dogs, right, Will?

I see you went with no cowboy hat up top. You went with the bow tie. No, sadly, I couldn't. I wanted to do a top hat, but she wouldn't let me. I wanted to do the chimney sweep hat. Remind me what I scored yours, Will. What? What did I score yours?

8.1? I'm not going to tell you what you scored mine because I need you to do Dave's in a vacuum. Authentic. Yeah. Pretend you're on a spaceship with the Japanese retail billionaire in a vacuum. You gave Cat Pat's tree a higher score than mine. I'll put that out there. I believe Cat Pat has a real tree.

She does. She did. Okay. Which means that if she had a fake one and it looked the exact same, she would have a one-point deduction, and therefore I'd have a better tree. Dave, the eyeball test tells me this is a seven-footer. Can you confirm? Yeah. Is it confirm? Yeah.

Is it real? Because it's about a foot taller than me, so yeah. Okay. It's a classic seven-footer, which is a very standard fig tree height. I thought six feet was standard. No, it's not. Six feet is like, I just want to get something up at the house. Let me just hop on Amazon.

This required the stepladder to put the topper, if that's what we're calling it. There's a lot to like here, Dave. You went with the white lights. They're nicely evenly spread on the tree. You have a good-looking tree skirt. I like it. It's not too flashy, but it's, you know, gets the job done, of course. You have a topper.

I'm a star topper guy. You know, Bo's not my typical style, but that's okay. We're all different people. The ornaments. We are different people. The ornaments. I like, I don't love your ornament situation. Oh! He's coming at your ornament situation, dog! I want to see more...

Is that a nutcracker right there? Just chromed out? You got a chromed out nutcracker out there? It's chrome, dude. Look at that chrome. I want to look at a tree and be like, oh, this is the fucking rough Christmas tree. You know what I mean? Sure. And you know, I think if you saw more of the ornaments around, like closer up, you'd be like, oh, there's Rhodes. There's a Randy.

You can see the Randy. There's a Nutcracker. Okay. Do you have, like, a relative named Brandon? What's this Let's Go Brandon ornament you have on your tree? That Nutcracker one for when I get home from the golf course on Saturday. Oh, man. Oh, shit.

I do like that you went with an actual tree skirt. one for when I get home from the golf course on Saturday. Oh, man. I do like that you went with an actual tree skirt. Unlike me, who just got a rug and threw it under there. I thought you just shaved my dog. Call me Buzz. No, I like y'alls. It looks comfy. It looks like Fritz will have fun crawling on it.

Yeah. Give me the rating. This is a very solid Christmas tree. Okay. It doesn't have the bells and whistles. I think you know that. It's a 7.8. Okay.

And that's a fine score. I'm fine with that. I think I gave the freeze tree an 8.1 maybe. I want to say 8.0 or 8.2. I think I would have remembered an 8.1 because it's an odd number, whereas the other ones aren 8.2. I think I would have remembered an 8.1 because it's an odd number, whereas the other ones aren't. Okay. A real fun thing is having a baby who has recently figured out how to crawl

and just wants to just rip the tree down. Hell yeah. You know what they say, though? Crawl till you ball? You got to crawl before you ball. Oh, yeah. I've never heard that. I like it.

Fritz is real slow on the crawling right now. It'll happen. It happens like overnight, it feels like. I've been playing Linkin Park crawling on our Bluetooth speaker at full volume, trying to get it across to him what he should be doing. It's not resonating. It's just crawling instead. It's weird.

Is he too young for the Lincoln Logs I bought him? Did you all have Lincoln Logs as a kid? Yeah. Those are pretty tight. No, I didn't have Lincoln Logs. You could build a cabinet. You guys are showing your age right now. Marks has them. No, I think I have Lincoln Logs. You could build a cabin. You guys are showing your age right now. Marks has them.

No, I think I had. I think I had like some maybe. I think. Okay, Stam, you cancel. You ready for this? Legos, Playmobil, Connects. Ooh. Playmobil?

Remind me Playmobil. Remind you Playmobil? What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know Playmobil? It's the little dudes. You'll hate this. Never had them. Really? I wasmobile. What? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know Playmobile? It's the little dudes. You'll hate this. Never had them.

Really? I was Team Lego. Lego? I go Stan, Lego, mute, connects only because I had to mute something. Cancel Playmobile because I've never played Mobile. Dude, I was deep into Playmobile. I also had an erector set. What the fuck is Playmobile? I also had an Erector set. Fucking Playmobil.

Probably not a shock to anyone. Also had, okay, if we're going to just keep going down the line, remember Real Power Tool Shop? It was like little kid dumbed down versions of like a table saw. Oh, my gosh. Parks has that. It broke so quick. To set it up, it takes 30 minutes.

It's a total beating. It's the worst. Shout out to my dad. I feel like 30 minutes isn't that long. An Ikea dresser takes like three days. To set up a toy to play with, then you break it down at the end of him playing with it. Every time you want to play with it, you spend 30 minutes setting it up. Dave probably just puts it in the other wing of his house.

It's a kick in the pants, man. Yeah. The guest room. i'm i stand oh this is hard i don't know what two of these are you want to connect you know connects connects it's like a modern erector set yeah it erector sets uh then they used to call you walks so that uh the joke's been made multiple times you yeah over there with your head up your ass. Yeah, you were over there taking notes. Not good enough, though. Hey, can you write a note down for me?

Can you write a note down for me? Yeah, what does it say? Take your head out of your ass. Seriously, pull it out. I was actually really, really good at K'nex. K'nex are cool. Is that still a thing? I don't know if it's still a thing.

I hope that Fritz gets into it. The worst thing I did as a child, and my dad might dispute this, not saying it was the worst thing, but my dad and I made a big spaceship using K'nex, and then we got in an argument one day, and I slammed it on the ground. I'll always live with that, and it doesn't feel good. And now he just comes to your place and drinks all your gin. No, he brings his own gin.

I tried to give him my gin, and he just didn't want it. He drinks your good bourbon. He drinks your good bourbon. He drinks the good bourbon that was gifted to me by David. Yeah, no, I was also a big train set guy, which ended up being pretty useful when these two bandits were trying to break in to my home. Bandits? Yeah, and I was like, okay, how do I make it look like there's people here and it's not just me, like a 10-year-old at home by myself. So I set up like a number of contraptions and used the train and some strings

to make it look like people were dancing and walking around the room. I mean, he didn't even need to break up those ornaments and throw them on the ground. He could have just tossed out some Legos right there and it would have been the exact same fucking feeling. Stepping on a Lego is nothing worse. Nothing worse. Something's worse, but Legos not fun. Something's worse.

No, I literally can't think of anything in the world worse than stepping on Legos. Rusty nail, maybe. Ashton Kutcher should consider, like, an anti-stepping on Legos thing. Stepping on a Von Dutch hat. Yeah. Pretty embarrassing, in my opinion. You can't ruin a Von Dutch hat. Was that effective?

Did the bandits flee? No, actually. They figured it out. And then they inexplicably talked about their plan right outside of my house as I was looking out the window about eight feet away from them. Did you call the cops or anything? No, I wasn't really that aware at that point. But I did set up a number of booby traps throughout my household. I did set up a number of booby traps throughout my household.

So you weren't aware enough to pick up a phone and dial three numbers, but you were aware enough, however, to set up booby traps all around your house. Correct. I was a total masochist. Wow. How dumb is Marv that he couldn't even see, like, Michael Jordan was at a party at their house? Like, come on. Like, MJ's not hanging out in the burbs.

Where's Chicago? I know. Pretty nice burb. You think Michael Jordan's going and hanging out at this house party? Please. Oh, man. He's just hanging out and he's just doing one pose. He's just not breaking a pose.

He's holding a basketball. They brought a basketball to his party. In his uniform. Yeah. He just walks around in uniform in the dead of winter. He's playing jacks with Kevin over there, just taking all his money. Tony Kukoc is in the corner. I want your money in my pocket.

Luke Longley's over there whipping up some eggnog. He didn't bring the whole basketball team with him. Yeah, he did. It was just MJ. He's friends with the McAllisters. Everybody knows that. Horace Grant's over there pouring up drinks. We're just naming players.

Yeah, we're just trying to flex how old we are by naming the entire Chicago Bulls roster. Who was the dude that he just would call out in practice? He would just say his name? Scott. Scott something. What? Damn it. Scott Burrell.

Scott Burrell. He'd call my first and last name. Dude, sometimes I'm just, I don't know why I like that so much, but sometimes I'm just walking around, I'm like, Scott Burrell. He just hates him. And MJ took that personally. We need to go through the whole documentary. Yeah.

Let's break down. Where did you write? So what am I, 7.8? Yeah. That's a good score, Dave. I like this tree. Let's see your tree, bitch. I would celebrate Christmas. I haven't set. So what am I, 7.8? Yeah, that's a good score, Dave. I like this tree. Let's see your tree, bitch. I would celebrate Christmas.

I haven't set it up yet. I told you. All right, next Wednesday. Are you going to have it set up by a week from today? Absolutely not. Why? Because I'm moving. Ain't moving.

Is there like a Thanksgiving equivalent of a Christmas? Corticopia, dog. Like a fistmas? A copia, fool. What are you doing? Like a friend's Christmas combined. Oh, like you do a Christmas. No, you just have a fistmas? A copia, fool. What are you doing? Like a friend's Christmas? Oh, like you do at Christmas. No, you just have a Christmas party.

Ugly sweater party. I'm inviting you over for fistmas. Come here. Oh. Ay-ay-ah-na. Why-ay-ah-na. Why do they say that back there? Because they oughta.

Why-ay-ah-na. Is that the guy that was... Why was that guy always threatening to punch his wife to the moon? Put your fists away. Fucking psycho. So violent. Fucking calm down. Go to therapy. How about that British kid trying to punch Santa's beard off?

Should I tweet that again and go viral? Which kid? Santa kid. What? You guys don't remember that? I did a really shitty tweet about the kid that's going to punch Santa's beard off. He's like a little British kid. It's a really cute video, but it went mega viral.

And I was like, dude, this video's been seen like it's on the timeline every single year. It went viral because of the video? Yeah, and I felt, I was like, this is such a, like my notifications were ruined for a week. It was my most popular tweet ever, and I was annoyed by it. Going viral is a pain in the ass. Can I ask you a question? Ask away. You can hop in here too, but it's more Will and I's

children are the same age-ish. Where are you doing a Santa? Or are you doing a Santa pick? We'd like to. We'd like to. I'd feel bad having Fritz's first Christmas go by without getting a Santa pick, but it feels like it's like competitive as fuck in Austin

to go find a Santa. You have to get like appointments and stuff. Can we just like get Randy to dress up as Santa? Honestly, I don't hate that idea. This is a thick-ass Santa Claus. Or Adam. Cool Adam. Actually, yeah. Very thick, miss. Hey, question. When y'all do presents

from Santa Claus for your kids, are you gonna do them wrapped or unwrapped? Everything gets wrapped. Everything's wrapped. Even Santa gifts? Santa is an expert wrapper. Santa gifts in my household have always been unwrapped.

I don't think that's normal. He pulls them out of his sack. Gross. His gift sack. Oh. I don't think that's normal, is it? That's not standard protocol. I think it's kind of normal.

You can't just have those toys out there naked. Those are the ones that he drops off Christmas morning. Hey, do this as a poll. I think you're wrong. Well, not wrong. I think you're going to be in the minority here. I may be, but I promise you that it'll be closer than you. Let me ask you.

I just want confirmation that other people do this because I've never heard of this until you told me that you did this. Really? Yeah. Okay. I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm not saying it's wrong. I'm going to poll right now, bitch. I just don't know other people do this because I've never heard of this until you told me that you did this. Really? Yeah. Okay. I'm not saying it's wrong. Not saying it's wrong. I'm going to pull right now, bitch. I just don't know if it's right.

I need to ask both of you this. Where did your parents do the best present? Like, you know, there's usually one alpha present. Was that present from Santa or from them? Santa. Everything was from Santa. Everything was from Santa for us. Okay.

I mean, we knew who it was from. I was a big skeptic of Santa very early in my life. I believed in Santa until I was like 16. This is going to be a two-hour poll, so get in and get out. Be tactical.

Been there. Can we talk about Nomad real quick? I'm holding one of their chargers right now. Can you feel this, David? Can I use it? I really... I have one of these at home. I should have brought it today. It's a heavy-duty, great charger. I can holding one of their chargers right now. Can you feel this, David? Can I use it? I really... I have one of these at home. I should have brought it to you. It's a heavy-duty, great charger. I can't believe I didn't

order one of those. Dude, look at this thing. What is my problem? Look at this thing. Am I an idiot? It's amazing. But guess what? I do have the phone case. Oh, you do have the phone case. That's pretty nice. Yeah, it's fucking sick. Does it have the digital business card thing in it and stuff? Yeah, it does. Shit, that's tight. You don't know shit about this. Yes, I do. I literally just asked you about it.

Sounds like Will's pretty up on it. Yeah, I'm very well versed in my Nomad goods. I've been using them every single day. This charger goes with me everywhere I go. It's even got its own pocket in my tote bag. Nomad, Garcia Parra over here. Hey, Nomad. Nomad.

What's now? They're leather accessories. They got rugged and durable cables. These chargers are just dope. I'm excited to pull this thing out. Everyone's like, oh, man, that thing is tactical. Dude, don't hate me because I'm tactical. Dude, pull out that Nomad.

Dude, they use leather from the Horween tannery in Chicago. Dude, I was wondering which tannery they used. Imagine using a different tannery. Not me. Horween or get the hell out. What's it called? Leather accessories develop a rich patina with time, and that looks great and completely unique to you.

Dylan, let me see how that's aging. Let's see that patina. Well, it's fairly new still. I've used it for probably a month now. Well, that's the thing. It gets better with age. It's got good character. You think I don't know that?

Like I'm not breaking in right now, you dumbass? If you just got a new iPhone 13, an Apple Watch, or you're thinking about getting one soon, you should really check Nomad out. They've got great-looking cases and bands. Honestly, it's Christmas season. This is stocking stuff for Central. Oh, your significant other has an Apple Watch and their band's all grody and gross?

Time to upgrade with Nomad. Duh. Bands that make you dance, too. For sure. They designed apple watch bands that look great in any environment work gym happy hour discotheca everything they offer convenient wireless charging solutions for the home office and bedroom with a suite of chargers for whatever mobile device you use like even apple watches and airpods too does this say discotheca and

the copy that you had that in it says it there. From the boardroom to the discoteca. Okay. Yeah. The leather smells amazing. Everything is awesome. They're climate neutral, certified. Think about that. Dave just walked out of the studio to charge his phone.

You don't see that. Dave is so horned up to use the Nomad phone charger that he just left the studio so he could go plug it in. No one's using a product of the reed we're doing mid-reed. My shit's flirting with low battery. Holiday season is approaching and Nomad is a great gift. Check out Nomad at nomadgoods.com slash steam to see what living the Nomad life is all about. That's N-O-M-A-D-G-O-O-D-S dot com slash steam, baby. Dave, you went back in time. Really?

Yes, I did. Look, I thought I was microdosing. Ended up not really knowing what I was doing and had a little bit too much on the mushroom thing. And yeah, I was back in time for a little bit. Is that what we're doing? I didn't know we were doing Dave's... Did you fist bump God?

Well, I thought I did. Randy, can we get my chimney sweep on here? My chimney sweep. You called it chimney? Chimney. Okay. Chimmy-chee. Chimney.

This guy is on one. So we have... Which wing is this? That's the living room. Not wings in the home, but I'm going to start referring to them. Are you just watching a lot of wings lately? Trying to make sure there's nothing incriminating in this. This is a good show, man.

No, I just see your tree. I see that nice chair with the nice blanket that a backer sent us a long time ago. Actually, that was a toucher. Is that your Lamborghini SUV parked out front? Oh, man. It's my neighbor's midsize SUV. I didn't know you had a Rolls Royce. That's a midsize SUV, folks.

You've never seen one of them. We have a fireplace, not to brag, but it's the first one we've had. We didn't have one in our last place, but haven't used it. We moved in in June, so we haven't had the time to use it. So I was like, hey, let's say we get another cold winter freeze like we did last year. This is a wood-burning fireplace. Am I correct? Does your fireplace even burn?

What are you saying? As opposed to a gas fireplace, like a faux fire with, like, fake logs. Oh, correct, correct. Wood-burning, real fireplace. Absolutely. With a traditional chimney situation. Correct. Okay, very cool.

Hey, good eye. You've got an eye for these things. Well, chimney sweep, you know, real fires. And I was like, hey, well chimney sweep you know real fires and uh i was like hey we could you know let's say we want to do a fire we've never actually used this uh fireplace so let's get somebody out here to make sure everything's good i don't want there to be like a bird a bird's nest atop of it or like squirrels maybe a gopher in there or something will and uh we have a chimney sweep we found an austin chimney sweep and it's like a family business so he came over with like his son and like somebody

else and um he was wearing a traditional chimney sweep hat a top hat did he sing any songs uh sadly he did not um chimney chimney chimneychim-a-nee, chim-chim-a-nee, chim-chim-a-ree. That was pretty good. Thank you. That sucked. Mary Poppins, huh? Dude. She's a baddie.

Hey, we're 165 votes in. You want to hear how it's going? Yeah. 65.8% rapped. 34.2% unwrapped. Not what I expected. I'm going to go vote in that. Yeah, I need to vote because. Not what I expected. I'm going to go vote in that. Yeah, I need to vote because...

Not what I expected. I need you to be wrapped. I'm voting because I have a vote in this. You're both going to go wrapped. See, Cat Pat gets it. Cat Pat actually just put you... She just flamed you. Cat Pat is so...

So steadfast with her opinions. So, like, no room for any others in her life. She's like, if you're not riding my wave, you're just an idiot. Sounds like someone hates to see a girl boss winning. Yeah, what's up with that? I'd love to see a girl boss winning. Do you? Do you?

Who's the last girl boss that you enjoyed seeing win? Great question. Dude, it's so hard for me to come up with it. I celebrate all girl bosses. I love a girl boss winning. Really? Because I'm on the- When they lose, I get upset.

I'm actually on the timeline right now. I call them women bosses. What about Sarah Rumpf? Do you like to see her winning. Really? When they lose, I get upset. I'm actually on the timeline right now. I call them women bosses. What about Sarah Rumpf? Do you like to see her winning, Dylan? Oh yeah, we gotta flame Dylan. We got a good friend of the pod. You might know him from his work with the Trash Panda social media. And he asked for some awesome recommendations.

And Dylan absolutely swatted this lady's recommendations out of the gym. Read her tweet. Read her tweet. So he was looking for recommendations. He said, Gueros for Tex-Mex, Roaring Fork if you want a bit fancy, Broken Spoke for authentic chicken fried steak and two-stepping, Blacks and Lockhart and Style Switch on the north side of town for barbecue,

and try all the food trucks you can find. Watch the bats on the South Congress Bridge. Dylan. All very heartfelt as nice recommendations. No, they're not bad. Well, what did, did anybody respond to that tweet specifically?

Yeah. So then Dylan just said, I disagree with basically 100% of what she just said. Can I say bait? Basically 100%. Oh, that's funny. Can I ask you this?

Doing comedy. Did you, um, what was it? The chicken fried steak thing? Cause I know you're the chicken fried steak expert on this pod is the broken the chicken fried steak thing? Because I know you're the chicken fried steak expert on this pod. Is the broken spoke chicken fried steak trash? I've never had it.

How is that possible? You're always coming in, you're talking chicken fried steak. When's the last time you had chicken fried steak? It was actually when I almost got run over by a car at Luby's. That's the honest answer, yes. I don't eat it very often. Okay. answer yes i don't eat it very often okay when you wake up as a kid and you go to the tree like you're so excited oh santa came right delivered presents we understand you go in there and there is immediately like oh my god what did what did i get what did he leave instead of like oh my god

we gotta open these presents for the next six hours it It's like, oh, I get to see exactly what Santa brought me. Oh, a new roller skate, whatever the hell he brought. One single roller skate. Roller skates. One single roller skate. That's more exciting as a kid to me than like, oh,

I got a new engine. Who's up first? So I started opening presents. But then you still get to open presents from family. My parents, they wrapped all of our presents. Every single present was wrapped. And they would wrap them in different wrapping papers for my sister and I so we wouldn't have any question of what was what. But then it starts to turn into comparing the size of the presents.

It's like, wait, what's that giant package there for her? And the biggest one I have is this one. Oh, man. It's like, wait, what's that giant package there for her? And the biggest one I have is this one. Oh, man. I'm going to stand by my unwrapped from Santa thing. Cool.

Well, you're losing your Twitter poll. No, it's not like it. It's just, no, that's fine. I don't care about the Twitter poll. I think it's great. Do you not know how to wrap presents, Dylan? I'm very bad at it. I will tell you.

I am not a bad rapper. I'm not good. I'm not bad. One year I tried to rap exclusively using zigzag rolling papers. Really? It was very expensive, and it didn't really work out. I'm sorry. I'm reading responses. That's all I have to say about that.

Were you in Oklahoma when you tried to do that? Yeah, I was. I was actually at Windstar right there on the border. Lost my ass. Why is the old... Okay, first of all, how do chimney sweeps still exist? People need their chimneys to be taken

care of. You have to clean them. This guy's a consummate professional wearing a top hat to his chimney sweep service. I wish we would have taken his hat and used it for our tree as a topper. Have you started a fire yet? That flannel hoodie is kind of fire. No, it wasn't that cold last night.

I'm waiting until like we have like a night. I'm waiting until sub 40. It was definitely that cold enough last night for a little fire. Yeah. But here's the thing. I don't want to do a fire when I know the next morning it's going to immediately warm up to the mid-70s. It was 42 this morning.

I know, and it's like 74 right now. Dude, I've been doing it. I've been absolutely blazing fires at my place lately. Blazing. Have you ever your chimney checked out? Nope. You need to get the Austin area chimney switched. I'm the bad boy of fire burners.

I'm the fire starter. Twisted fire starter. Shouts to Prodigy. Rest in the bad boy of fire burners. I'm the fire starter. Twisted fire starter. Shouts to Prodigy. Rest in peace. I didn't start the fire. Different band. I did start the fire, actually.

Billy Joel. Ryan started the fire. You guys see that show? The Office? Billy Joel. Yeah, we saw it, dude. Can you quote it more, please? The Piano Man.

What was the tangent we just went on about Dylan? Sing me a song. About the presents the wrapped unwrapped thing yeah what about it I don't know how many presents

y'all got under the tree right now I got no problem with you wrappies I'm just saying I'm an unwrappy I don't know if we're doing wrappies and unwrapping we don't have a tree yet

I've already told you this I'm moving in like five minutes you better get out of here then man you're such a jerk do you get college hugs to help you out you did yeah i got on the phone with him i said send me your don't waste your money i want the honkiest dude you have i want what if that what if the ass man

from west six shows up i i try to pay extra to have them oiled up and go shirtless but they said i don't they don't do that dude it's not worth your money and i'm not even speaking to like how well they can move your stuff but we we had them we use them and the lads that they sent over not only were they not in college they weren't even hunks what yeah that's false advertising disgusting didn't they steal your idea never mind excuse me never mind just move on i love i love the name of that moving company Steal your idea. Never mind. Excuse me? Never mind. Just move on. I love the name of that moving company. College Honks.

Subjectifying your movers. I had a tweet that might be in my drafts about them. I may be able to just launch it today. Add D. Carter Ruff on Twitter. Try it out with us. Add me on the group. Add DC Ruff on Instagram. Add me on the group Add DC Ruff on Instagram Add me on the group See if we like it

No, no, no I'm still workshopping it It's a work in progress I've already gone through all my Twitter drafts And there's no heat left in the hopper right now It's empty Do your Everybody open up your drafts

And tell us You have to say your last draft Unless My last This is going to be ugly This is going to be real ugly Let's go Brandon That's Dylan's Dylan's got his burner though last draft unless my last this is gonna be ugly this is gonna be real ugly brandon that's dylan's

dylan's got his burner though i'm trying to access my draft i don't have any drafts i cleared them out recently i guess my last one you know the handshake emoji where it's got two things and then the handshake emoji then underneath that it's like the common thread that ties them together i have that it says my car seat and then i don't have the other one and then the the common thread is that it's low-key heated that's pretty good i don't know what i don't know what i was doing with that but i was gonna get there hey well that's great i'm glad it's in draft oh maybe i'll do lincoln riley fan or, or Oklahoma fans to Lincoln Riley. Everyone's low-key heated.

Okay. Much like my car seat. Mine's a DraftKings sponsored tweet. It says, you won't believe my lineup. My family tried to talk me out of it, but I chose to ignore them, risking it all. Sign up for the DraftKings Sportsbook with promo code WASHED. Still usable. You can still do that.

Unwrapped is gaining a little bit of ground. A little bit of ground. Okay. It's time. It can still do that. Unwrapped is getting a little bit of ground. A little bit of ground. Okay. It's time. Ooh. Ooh. I'm feeling it. I'm feeling tropical.

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so you can look your best this season and every season after. It's cutting season, baby. It is. I'm all in. I wonder if you could, like, okay, say you have plans. You have, like, a big meeting coming up. And then, like, you want to go to, like, the discotheca afterward. Would this shirt go from, like, where you're meeting, like, probably like a boardroom? Could you just go straight to the discotheca afterward. Would this shirt go from where you're meeting, probably

a boardroom? Could you just go straight to the discotheca, or should you go home first to change? You could go from the bibliotheca to the discotheca in a cut shirt. Holy shit. Yeah, it's pretty mind-blowing stuff. All the teccas. Dude, they've got it all.

You know they don't just have t-shirts, right? Sometimes I wonder if he knows that or not. Yeah, I think I know that, Will, you idiot. They got polos, bomber jackets, joggers, and more. And it makes it easy to decide what to wear year-round. That's one less thing to think about, guys. With a minimalist design that's professional enough for the office to get comfortable enough for a night out,

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everyone's been calling it the Pikachu. Yeah. For sure, dude. Pika. so much. Everyone's been calling it the day of Pikachu. Yeah. For sure, dude. Cuts has your holiday shopping covered with a ton of new products and special site-exclusive offers every day in December. Plus, you can get 15% off site-wide at

cutsclothing.com. That's C-U-T-S-clothing.com. You can get 15% off, plus the can't-miss daily deals. Dylan, what are you doing this weekend? Wow, thank you for asking. Well, there's going to be a lot of packing and moving of boxes to the new crib. Okay?

We're doing a lot of that. Packing boxes. Cleaning the crib I'm moving out of. That's going to happen too. Just dealing in a bunch of college honks. Yeah. moving out if that's going to happen too. She's dealing in a bunch of college honks.

Yeah. We have some, we being Bay and I, we have invitations to do some things. There's a, what are those things? A dumpling making party that we're invited to Friday night. It sounds kind of fun. Boy, that is such a Will DeFreeze wave. Yeah, what kind of bullshit are you on right now? A dumpling making party. We might go to the dumpling making party. That's a Jarrah is such a Will DeFreeze wave. Yeah, what kind of bullshit are you on right now? A dumpling-making party.

We might go to the dumpling-making party. That's a Jarrah Borslow Will DeFreeze thing. How do I not catch an invite to that dumpling-making party? I don't want to get friends with these people. Yeah, but I'm the dumpling god. You're the dumpling king. Who has the best dumplings in Austin? Not sure.

The ones at... Tuck Tuck, maybe. They've been at Tuck Tuck, David. I love Tuck Tuck. Anyway. They've been at Tuck Tuck, David. I love Tuck Tuck. Anyway. Dumplings go hard. Yeah. Honestly.

Dumplings are very good. There's a lot of haters out there. A lot of losers, too. That's true. And they're not willing to have the conversation that the Trader Joe's soup dumplings are damn good. What if we started a moving company, High School Hunks? I think that's a little problematic. What if we did? Why? There's not hunks? I think that's a little problematic. What if we did?

Why? There's no hunks in high school? Yeah, there are. What if we did middle school hunks? Okay. Can I tell you about my Saturday? Stop. Stop.

Are you thinking of the skit from I Think You Should Leave? Yes. Yeah, me too. Me too me too look I'm playing golf Saturday I'll say it what are you gonna shoot what's the over under on your 18 hole score are you gonna finish well under is uh between single and I'm not single double and triple digis question how is um how is your fiancee bae how is she liking you just with a middle-of-the-day Saturday tea time right in moving season? Moving weekend. She has put on a strong face so far.

I think she's a little bit annoyed, but she hasn't said anything. She's a woman boss. Yeah, she's saving that text message for when you're actually on the course. Is she going to go out with the gals like Sunday, just have like a boozy brunch, and you're going to be like packing boxes with the hunks? Wow, it's almost like you're talking about someone very close to me. Dude, I'm on. You and me both.

I'm on the third tee box. I'm like, I've cracked my second beer. I get the text like, you know, we have a lot to do today. Well, you just need to go on airplane mode. Yeah, we do, don't we? Yeah, it might be the time to plant the seed. Oh, by the way. Also, I'm going to Matt's after we play.

Yeah, by the way, babe, there's no service out on this golf course, by the way. I'm going to have to get up early that day and just grind and get some shit done. Gross. You better get the honks. You should just have the honks stay over that night so they can get up early with you. Yeah, you'll have an overnight rate. The honks, man. the middle school hunks hey what if what if you know like i for a long time i thought if i was naughty santa would leave just a hunk in my stocking then i found it was a hunk of coal and i was like oh that's not as cool i thought it's

gonna be a college hunk i'd like a a hunk of Cole Campbell in my stocking. I'm on to that. It's true. You got anything else going on, or are you just avoiding moving? Oh, God. Dude, you should have moved back when I did, because then I don't have to move again. I should have thought of that, yeah.

We could have shared the same hunks. You want to help me? No. Randy and Brett and Adam. Which one did you have in the back of a Ryder truck? That was Brett. You made Brett like his third day on the job, like come over and like. I paid Brett handsomely to help me out for like two hours.

It was not fair market value. Facts. You're right. It was way over. It was like seven an hour. I paid him like $200 to help me for two hours. It's a damn good rate. Okay. That's a good rate for a hunk like Brett. I know. I paid him like $200 to help me for two hours. That's a damn good rate. That's a good rate for a hunk like Brett.

I know. I should have hired the honks. I wanted to hear about it. There wouldn't be a complaint. Just a bunch of honks in the back of my truck. We should do a bump. Alright. Can we do my weekend? What? Bumper sticker hunk if you're horny. You gotta finish that sentence, dog. I know we're talking about this

weekend in fun, but like... Let's do some cocaine on the golf course. Okay? I'm playing golf Saturday. I'm going to crack a cold one on the golf course. I'm going to have at least two. Are you going to try and stop me, bitch? Maybe, because you've got to go home and move. I don't want you

being hung over and making the hunks carry the load. Gross. Sick. Do the heavy lifting. lifting yeah that's definitely for the college that's why they're there they're hunky they work out they're hard-bodied hunks in college do you have the straps not for the honks i'm talking like the moving straps no who am i you think i i don't know it's always amazing how easily they can move stuff with those. Yeah, they're pretty sick. Very cool. I'm playing golf. I don't know what we're doing Friday.

I've got some child care issues, so I think I'm watching the Roadsman next couple afternoons. So, oh, I might be doing – check out RBP. Might be doing RBP Friday morning, though. Maybe. Just a little preview there Friday morning, though. Maybe. Just a little preview there. Sneaky pre. We'll see. We'll see if J-Bone has me on.

He's probably got a dumpling-making class. I am. Can he talk about dumplings? No, I don't need a class. No. No, I know how to make them. I do it every night around 11 p.m. Oh, it's easy. Imagine just mobbing around a table

just drinking brown water and just cooking up some dumps. Sounds fun. You're going to make them. If you can't roll a joint, you can't make a dumpling. That's a great point. My dumpling's going to be absolute trash. No one's going to eat my dumps.

They are like a truck, though. You're just going to be like our dude's butter sculpture last night. Check us out. Dude, what the fuck did he do? What did he do? Why did Nate go so hard? Did Nate, did someone do that for Nate?

Dude, that was astonishing what he did with that butter. I thought, I wrote Nate off as being a total idiot. I know. And then Sunday,

I don't know. Maybe I'll help Dylan move. We'll see. Hell yeah. If you need an extra hunk. Are you still in middle school? No, we've been over this. I'm 37 oh my college honks hey i got my my hunky friend's gonna help too if y'all don't mind i got an extra hunk today that would be a

funny sketch when like you hire them and they get over and like one guy's like clearly like 31 not a hunk you call him you're like hey um i wanted more for for somebody? I hate to be this guy, but I noticed one of these lads was just not a college hunk. Yeah, he's like a six. He's not very hunky. He's hunky, but he's just not in college. That's it. Will? Yeah, you know your boy's going to stay in on Friday night.

Probably have one to two drinks. Nice, dude. Watch a little television. Might hit a Christmas movie up. You know what it is. And then, yeah, dude. Watch a little television. Might hit a Christmas movie up. You know what it is. And then, yeah, obviously, we're mobbing with the boys on Saturday, avoiding all responsibility by hitting that golf course. I will be having a Bloody Mary to kick things off before the first tee.

They make good ones out there. They do. They're very spicy, and I very much like them. Just don't let them give you the canned one. Tell them you want like the. They know. Yeah. When I walk up, they're like, no, don't give them give you the canned one. Tell them you want like the. They know. Yeah. When I walk up, they're like, no, don't give that guy a canned.

I need Zing Zang. And then, yeah, I'm going to go out there. I'm going to struggle, but I'm going to get that 94 on the scorecard. Going to be windy. And then I think I'm going to make my way over to a nice little sushi dinner with the Weiner family. Huh. Yep. Is Uncle Steve going to be there?

Hopefully. That'd be tight. Anthony. His dad is Steve steve shout out i got a call with him coming up more on that in the coming weeks gross uh yeah so that's that's your boy's plan on sunday i think i think i might try to get some uh maybe a little christmas shopping done online shopping have you tried shopping online i do almost all of my shopping online these days. Really? That's cool, man. It's taken over. Like, I swear, I don't even go to the mall anymore.

Honey. Except for what I said earlier. You do go to the mall. Gethoney.com. I do go to the mall. You're the only one who does. I go to the mall way more than anybody. Yes. You do.

You do. You're single-handedly keeping the Nordstrom there in business. Even though their men's selection stinks at that one. We want to close down with this mustache dude that keeps coming in and spending all this money. Nordstrom can eat one. No, it's normally me going to get keels for the wife. Big keels. Big keels family, apparently.

Let's wrap this thing up, honestly. Yeah, I got to pee. Thanks. Hey, it's been fun, guys. We love y'all. Bye. Bye. Bye. bye