Circling Back - Bit Madness Round II & Randy's One-Year Anniversary

Episode Date: March 17, 2021

A huuuuuuuge Wednesday. Not only does Randy join us for his one-year anniversary to talk our favorite Randy moments, but we also go through Round II of Bit Madness. We also knock out This Weekend in Fun and Brett's Breaking News (without Brett). Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop Support This Episode’s Sponsors Caliper CBD: www.trycaliper.com/steam (20% off!) Honey: www.joinhoney.com/circlingback (SO many savings) Ritual: www.ritual.com/circlingback (10% off for first three months) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back. Circling Back podcast presented by Vizzy Hard Seltzer, the only hard seltzer out there with vitamin C and superfruit acerola. My name's Will DeFreeze. To my right, Dave Roth. I got a feeling today's going gonna be a little bit sassy really? a little more sass than people might be accustomed to

heavy on the sass factor wow what gives you I don't know man I was just looking through the TL and just considering everything that's been going on it's just like today feels like it might be a little sassy

okay you got a problem with that? everything that's been going on. It's just like today feels like it might be a little sassy. Okay. You got a problem with that? No, actually what I love about today is that aside from it being St. Patrick's Day, there's nothing special about today whatsoever. Absolutely nothing special about today. Nothing else is going on that needs to be acknowledged or celebrated. I notice you're not really wearing green. Yeah, that's so you will come across this table and kiss me.

You're a big St. Patrick's guy. I don't think that's how it works. I was going to take you out back and just beat the shit out of you again. How about you kiss me? Beat me up. Beat me up with your lips. We're still in a pandemic, Dylan. We're still in a pandemic.

We can't be doing that. I still get irrationally upset when people spell it patties with T's. Oh, I know. I'm well aware. People on the TL are already ruining my mood. Dude, it was like death taxes and March 1st, Dylan dropping in the TFM writers group on Facebook that St. Patty's Day is spelled with two D's instead.

Before 8 a.m., Big Will had already used it twice, patties with T's. Wait, I think I might have used it in a text I wanted I want to text him and just tell him to stop why does it matter it hits different with the DS right and I'm not even Irish it's just a grammatical in this scenario you do not want them to throw some DS on this bitch I do want the DS you want the DS yeah give me all the double DS yeah throw some DS on it lowercase DS sos on it. Lowercase Ds. Throw some Ds on this bitch. Yes, exactly. That's what I'm saying.

Instead of T's, man. I do like T's, though. I think somebody's stealing your car. Yeah, I want to give a major shout-out to the car alarm going off right outside of the studio right now. It's great. I really hope Dylan goes out there and his shit's on blocks. I have insurance. Oh, don't say that.

Imagine if you're parked at the complex that we actually work at, and you go outside, and your car's just on blocks. That'd be a real beating. I'd be like, why did no one stop this guy? Yeah, what? Clearly, they're supposed to have taken him 30 minutes. Excuse me? My Vespa's on blocks out there. It's tough.

Are you in a car? Dude, I don't know. So tell me if I can steal this, OK? Next to my new place, there's a public marina, like a boat launch kind of thing. And next to it, there's an old jet ski tied to a tree. It's just been sitting there. Dude, that's your jet ski. Is that my jet ski? Somebody's pet. That's yours.

The thing looks like it hasn't been touched in months. It looks like it's just covered in sludge. It's just gross. But I'm like, dude, I could shape this thing up real nice and all of a sudden have a nice little aquatic adventure. You should convert it into a vehicle like that one dude in the recent viral video. Is it a wave runner or like a stand-up jet ski? Hard to say.

I'll do my due diligence today and I'll get back to you guys for voicemails tomorrow. You take it in, get it tuned up a little bit, cleaned. Boom. Brand new. It just seems too good to be true. But it's tied to a tree. Yeah, no one ties... You don't tie a jet ski to a tree and expect it to stay there forever. Someone's gonna...

Maybe it's been there since the shoreline receded. like it used to be tied up there because it was underwater well david it's a constant level lake i'm surprised you don't know that it's damned on on either end figure it out dude what are you doing saying it never floods yes you would say that wow this information is damning if you if you see all the houses that are built like uh i don't know three feet above the lake level, you would understand. Oh, yeah, they're all just hovering above the lake. Yeah, that's smart. It's a constant level lake.

You know, it's been a dry winter up north, which means that the lake levels in Lake Michigan are likely to go down, which is good. It's needed. Really? Any higher, and, like, all of a sudden, we're going to have some major, major issues on the shoreline. So this is big.

Interesting. That's is big. Interesting. That's my meteorology minute. Pretty neat. The Michigan meteorology minute is actually going to be a constant staple of fun and easy banter, so I hope you guys are ready for it. Is it because, like, the glacier's melted? I don't know. You'd have to ask the glacier boys.

We got a big episode today. Big boy episode. Let's just get right into it. Let's do some programming notes before we do anything. Go follow Circling Back, Pod, and Watch Media on the Grom. Add me on the Grom. Leave a review and five-star rating. Tell a friend about the podcast.

Head over to YouTube.com slash Watch Media for all the episodes. Dude, tell them about your column. Dude, your boy got a collie off yesterday. No one's saying collie. Dude, everyone's saying collie. Sammy Dude, your boy got a collie off yesterday. No one's saying collie. Dude. Everyone's saying collie. Sammy Adams, lazy boy. Yeah, your boy got a column off yesterday on washmedia.com. Go check it out.

I might be sprinkling a few of those in once I feel crazy. I even uploaded a couple of Dylan's back things from... I noticed you did that. I wanted to even out the site. I didn't want to just have one post on there. And I was like, you know what? It's been long enough that the patrons shouldn't get mad if we put the state of washmedia on the site. I'm now the top blogger on the site. I didn't want to just have one post on there. And I was like, you know what? It's been long enough that the patrons shouldn't get mad if we put the state of WASH Media on the site.

I'm now the top blogger on the website. That's great. Thank you. I don't think you have the most page views. I think they got about three yesterday since we didn't promote them. But overall, congratulations on having the most things. You got more than three? I got more than three.

That'd be surprising. They were all from me. Also, Patreon, we'll be back tomorrow, I guess Friday, for listener voicemails. Get them in. 888-618-4422. Again, 888-618-4422. Get in, get out, be tactical.

And Worst Of next week. This is big. We love Worst Of on these parts. That was supposed to be the Worst Of theme song. Are we going to make that video that we were talking about? We might make a video. Why wouldn't we? We'll see. So, yeah. Go check it it out patreon.com circling back podcast send your stories fun stuff is happening the the pipeline is full man not actually full

you can still leave voicemails but just like the content pipeline that we have going right now it's just i'm just happy to be here man just a wave that doesn't die it's extremely nectar let's ride this wave dave. You want another big announcement? Please. We have a new sponsor. New sponsor. New sponsor alert. We have a new sponsor. New sponsor. Didn't we decide that that

wasn't good? It's terrible. It lost bit madness, didn't it? Yeah. Or did it win? It's terrible. But that's why I like it. Well, I got a question for you. Who says that taking care of yourself needs to be hard? A lot of people out there, they don't take care of themselves. You don't take care of yourself. I always say that.

Yeah, you always say that. But you got to try some CBD, Dylan. You ever heard of it? Yeah, I'm familiar. What's great about CBD is that it helps you feel better without making drastic changes to your routine. CBD is just great. But all these droppers out there, you ever do it in the dropper? You put it in your mouth and it changes to your routine. CBD is just great. But all these droppers out there, you ever do it in the dropper, you put it in your mouth

and it's on your tongue? It's just kind of weird and that's not the best thing that science has to offer. Also, I feel like one dropper full is more than half of the little container that it comes in. It's just wild. It lasts like two uses. It's just kind of an icky process. But luckily for you guys,

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Your body's mostly water. You wear that? Yeah. What percentage? Your body stays wet. Oh, dripping. Yeah. Dripping.

Internally. I got more water than you. I'm just built different. General science tells me that oil and water, they don't mix. No. It just doesn't make sense. And CBD oil is no different. So unlike CBD oils, Caliper CBD powder is completely tasteless and mixes easily in any food or drink.

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I always say that. And like people use CBD for everything. For me, it helps me relax. For some people, it helps them just snooze, feel less achy. I know Dave's got those aches and pains yeah i guess i do for sure you know me just achy breaky dave i take it i don't hate that i take it before bed helps me sleep you know i got this neck thing now it's just i take this you're a mess you are a mess i'm a hot mess disaster lucky you got some beautiful disaster

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That's C-A-L-I-P-E-R.com slash STEAM. Caliper. It's time, baby. Round two a bit madness. Let's go. Let's go. Man, this is where the pavement hits the road. Oh, we're in the jungle now.

This is like separation Saturday. Yeah, it's moving day. Moving day. Thank you. Some teams are going to move on. Some aren't. What are you saying? This weekend's separation Saturday for you? What do you mean? I don't get it. Yeah, I don't get it either. Moving day. Thank you. Some teams are going to move on. Some aren't. What are you saying? This weekend's separation Saturday for you?

What do you mean? I don't get it. Yeah, I don't get it either. Never mind. It doesn't make any sense to me. What's separating? Lord have mercy, I'm about to bust. I don't really get it.

I'm making the connection. There's maybe something there. I don't know. Maybe we should just do the bracket. Yeah, let's get to the... To all the backers out there that sourced this bracket for us, thank you so much. You guys did a better job than we would have done because I can't recall every bit we have because it's just ingrained in my brain to speak like this at this point.

I love the Rhodes rough bit. That's my favorite bit, I think. Yeah. All Rhodes leads to rough. Because he's one of the things on Bit Madness, you know. Did he win? Probably not. Have you ever thought about changing your name to, like, Dave Fairway?

He cut his first of many L's. Yeah, he did. Wow. I just look forward to the second round so Dylan can shit on the seating some more. God. Let's start off with the first one. If you want to ever watch on YouTube, we do have all these on the screen for the YouTube viewers out there. I feel like more people watch on YouTube than I give credit to.

Hop on the YouTubes. Thousands on some. Crazy stuff. Hop on the tubes, man YouTube viewers out there. I feel like more people watch on YouTube than I give credit to. Hop on the YouTubes. Thousands on some. Crazy stuff. Hop on the tubes, man. We got number one. The overall number one seed. Didn't they used to call you that in high school? Versus number eight. A dangerous number eight drinking just one beer. Didn't they

used to call you that in high school? It's one of the older bits that's still going real strong. Same with drinking one beer. You're right. You're right. But as a number one overall seed, it's getting lots of love to this day. Still.

When these two combatants enter the ring, you can throw their records out. I think that drinking one beer is going to move on for me. I have to say, if you switch the seedings of these two, it wouldn't even blow my mind. Like, I could see one of them being an eight and the other one being a one. I'm not saying the seeding is wrong here. Well, they had a little COVID outbreak, and they lost some players for a little bit.

So, yeah, their record's a little bit sneaky. What are you going with, Dylan? You want the onus? I don't know. Because I'm going to give it to you. Didn't they used to call you that in high school? Well, as someone who has been very much enjoying drinking just one beer lately, doing tasks around the place while moving, unpacking, stuff like that,

I've got to go with drinking one beer. Wow. Upset alert. Dude, no one had that. Wow. Shouts to all the one beers out there. Or the one vizzies. I had exactly one beer last night, actually.

I actually had exactly one Japanese whiskey last night. But I will say it was quite a heavy pour, so it might have been a little closer to one and a half. I officially kicked off rosé season. Look at you. Yeah. I think y'all got me. Sparkling as hell. Well, you got me the bottle of rosé, I think.

Or us. Well, we did together, but it's whatever. I actually delivered'all got me. Sparkling as well. Will, you got me the bottle of rosé, I think. Or us. Well, we did together, but it's whatever. I actually delivered it to your home personally with my son, but it's not a big deal. Oh, is that where we got it? Okay. I couldn't remember. We just... Okay.

We were both like, man, Will killed it with this. To be fair to Dylan, he actually did all the legwork of doing this. Please remind your wife. That's a first. Yeah. Please remind your wife that I was very much a part of that. I got you both, sparkling and still. Which one did you have?

I just mixed them together, had a suicide. Oh, my God. I went suey on the rosé. Dude, do you remember when we had the one episode where we were laughing from the back of our throats? Like, ah! Yeah, I watched the video of that, and I was like, man, this is not how you should be talking to people during a pandemic. Like, it was peak COVID, and we're just breathing more air than ever. Spreading all the germs.

This one's tough. We got number five, Mocha Clappuccino versus number four, the Seinfeld soundbite. Still not it. I don't think that's fair. We just did because Mocha Clappuccino is not here to put forth some audio. That's fair. But he's with us in spirit. Of course, we're talking about KJ.

When I think of Mocha Clappuccino, I think more Cole Campbell than I do KJ. No offense to KJ, but it originated with Cole Campbell. If you're KJ, I would take it. Cole Campbell never did Mocha. What'd he do? He just did Clappuccino. KJ added the Mocha but he okay he came up with clappuccino though he did he did okay okay jay he personalized it yeah i get it he flipped it

and reversed it i'm going with mocha clappuccino i like the sound felt sound bite but to be honest i got another sound bite in my in my arsenal that i might bust out for that that's going to replace it oh i'm about to bust it's adjacent don Are you going to get rid of Seinfeld? I'm not going to get rid of it. It might make another appearance. Unless there's a typo. That's not how you spell buy it. Unless you're like a fucking computer nerd.

Fucking nerd-ass Randy would spell it that way. Give me the mocha clappuccino. Oh, mocha clappuccino goes on. Oh, man. For the record, I would have voted for Seinfeld. That's because you're a big Seinfeld guy. Didn't you say it's your favorite show behind Friends? I didn't say that.

I said it's my favorite sitcom of all time. You've said numerous times that Friends is the funniest show you've ever seen. Stop. Dylan's was a big fan of Wings. Wings is good. Don't slander Wings. Wings is a good show. The hair in Wings was just next level.

Dude, Nantucket Island? You probably don't even know that, dude. You know shit. I once knew a man from Nantucket. Really? That airport security didn't seem up to snuff dude. You don't know shit. I once knew a man from Nantucket. Really? That airport security didn't seem up to snuff in that show. The whole airport. I'll say it.

I'll say it. Number three, horny police versus bang! That's a tough matchup. Your brain is too, um, it's like you're singing a song. It's too, it's too, like, melodic. Sorry, dude. I can't turn down my pipes. Bang.

Bang. Bang. What if he busts that out in, like, a Mavs playoff game? Luka hits a three from deep, and he goes, bang. He needs to mix it up. He needs to mix it up. No, he doesn't, dude. He's playing the hits.

That's so dumb. Bubble bang. That's what I would do. A bang. I would say like I do with my bye sign-offs. Bang. I have to do something right now that I'm not proud of doing. And what I'm about to do is I'm going to let Randy take the mic

because Randy has a next-gen stat that I think is kind of necessary when it comes to this particular matchup. Randy, can you put the mic in front of your face, please? Why are you ignoring me? It's not that difficult, Randy. Yeah, dude, just put the mic down. Randy, can you tell the people out there how many views the horny police gif of Dave has has on jiffy oh yes yes yes

oh i can look that up on giffy yes uh give me give me one second please all the like the twitter yes so if you you can just watch it like five times on a loop and it counts as five it is absolutely insane how often the horny police meme is or gif has been used so it's being used outside of backers based on the number you're about used? So it's being used outside of backers. Based on the number you're about to hear, it's absolutely being used outside of the backers. So is Dave the face of horniness? Is he the horny guy?

Is he the sergeant? Dude, the GIF doesn't even say. No, there's two. On Twitter it doesn't say it. I don't know why it gets cut off. But are you ready for this? I'll give you our number two. Our number two is 1.2 million, and it's Dylan's head exploding.

Really? Yeah. I don't even see that one being used. People just love having your head exploding. Okay. The horny police for Dave is $18.9 million. Oh? It's about to get to $19 million.

You're the face of the horny police. That's more impressions than you have. Wait. Is your mustache in that gif? Yes, backwards hat, mustache, Dave. Because it has like a cop vibe, you know, like horny police. It's kind of upsetting that your hat's backwards in that because we could have had some major branding on the horny police one. But it does say circling back.

Oh, yeah, did Brett sell that? We should. He should sell it as an NFT. Does it say circling back in the image? Not frat. Got a bug. Good job, Randy. Tad? Goodling back in the image? Not frat. Got a bug. Good job, Randy. Tad?

Good job, Randy. Yeah, not fratty-taddy. That's really funny. Really funny. God, dude, I can't believe I'm leading the company in impressions. That's pretty crazy. Just wait until I go viral on my next call. Because, Dylan, you have a significant following.

Yeah. And you're not doing numbers. I'm very famous on social media. It's interesting. And let me say, that's only on Giphy. I also have it on Tenor, which is what Twitter and others use too. So it's significantly more than that. Don't know what that is, but it sounds fun.

How many has it done on Parler? Probably a lot. Parler and Yard. What about Sina Wevo? You got those numbers? No? Yeah. Peach?

Horny Police for me, just based on the statistics alone, it's having a moment right now, and I have to go with number three, horny police. Now that I know what I know about Dave being the face of the horny police, I have to go horny police. I was going to go bang just because I wanted to hear Will and his sing-song voice. Bang. Bang. Bang.

Watermelon sugar. Bang. Watermelon sugar. Bang. Watermelon sugar. Bang. Come on. You don't see Mike Green doing Harry Styles bits? I can never go without watermelon sugar. Horny police moves on.

Interesting. Speaking of. Yeah, chill, dude. I just found out what that song's about. That song's about a Vizzy. Oh, you're right. Even though there is no sugar in Vizzy. Yeah, it's a paradox.

P-A-R-A. Okay. We're doing way too much. A lot is happening. Number seven. You hate to get 2-7 in poker, but this matchup, I'm licking it.

I don't like this. These are two of my favorite things. This is quite possibly the hardest matchup we've seen all through Hit Madness. This is a toughie. Number seven, as this is the only way

she can eat fajitas, versus number two, which I will say is a verified number two seed in my mind. Got any swipes? You guys got any swipes? I don't... You know what? I'm just going to say it. I'm going with fajitas solely

because I don't want the onus put on me. The thing about the fajitas is it's the only way she can eat them. The only way. If it is it's the only way she can eat them. The only way. If it does not have shredded cheese, she'll send it back. She'll just let it get cold right in front of her. She'll just waste the food. I'm not even going to touch my drink.

How about that? Can you imagine leaving a Tex-Mex restaurant just smelling like the smoke from your fajitas, just knowing that you didn't even eat them while they were piping hot? That's the only way she can eat them, though. Disgusting. She has to have cheese. It's weird that them being freezing cold isn't the deal breaker but the cold shredded cheese is the deal breaker right oh right what david did you see ross's response to your tweet about randy yeah does he know what that means?

Sorry. Do I even want to know? Dylan's, again, once again, talking about Randy's cake. He just said, what did he say? Human Randy is, as you say, double-cheeked up. That's a fat rabbit. Oh, does that mean something else? Maybe.

I don't know. I'm not completely sure. Okay. Just putting that out there. Sorry, I couldn't get past it. I was... Is that rabbit trying to eat a carrot? Did you see my follow-up tweet? That was dirty.

Are you just pimping your tweets right now? I said we're having cake. Okay. To celebrate the one-year anniversary, but also, like, cake? I crushed that. I need Dave's, like, his bang gif right now. How good does Mitt Romney look these days with his way of blowing out candles on cakes? Do you remember that video?

Now it's the COVID way to do it. Yeah. He got kind of wronged. He got wronged. He also once traveled in a car on a road trip with his dog strapped to the in its cage. Strapped to the top of his vehicle. People forget that that actually happened. Just catching all the fucking wind.

God. What are you guys going with? Schweppes or fajitas? This is so hard. Upset alert. Fajitas moves on. You went fajitas? I went fajitas.

That's over then. I love Schweip's, but I think if I've learned anything, it's that as this is the only way she can eat fajitas, that still has legs. That still plays in the world, and I think we need to start using it more. It makes me laugh every time I see it on the timeline. No context needed.

Just throw it out there. Just throw five of those words together in a sentence and I'm happy. She will ever be the fajitas girl. What's she doing? Filing divorce papers for her husband. She needs to. What an idiot that guy is. Hey, Randy, can you pull down the mic and just tell me what you just –

tell the world what you showed me. Fat rabbit? We're giving you a... Yeah. What does it mean? If you need to bleep out any words, feel free to do so. Give us the deafie. According to Urban Dictionary, it is the lips of

a vagina that are visible when a woman is bent over. Alright, we're good. We're good. Randy, what's your problem? I wasn't saying that. This is Ross' fault. of a vagina that are visible when a woman is bent over. All right, we're good. We're good. Randy, what's your problem? I wasn't saying that. This is Ross's fault. Yeah, he's... This is wildly inappropriate.

That is just very, very foul. Another two versus seven. Randy's happy hour sign-offs versus number seven, naming kids after public infrastructure. Uh-huh. Can you guys confirm that you were naming your children after public infrastructure? Yeah. No. Can you guys confirm that you were naming your children after public infrastructure? Yeah.

No, mine was actually after private. Really? Like a toll road. They're private in Texas. People forget. Toll road rough kind of sounds like a... That sounds like

a wrestling nickname. Toll road. Huh. I'm going to go with the two- randy's happy hour sign offs i was having a conversation with a j bone jared borislo yesterday oh yeah and we were talking about how underrated the um him broadcasting live from my gut the war that was going on inside of my gut was like yeah that's that that went a little bit underrated i might to go back and do is there a YouTube video out there with all these on it. Yes there is.

I think I need to go back and watch all these. I think that video was released at a time when I was busy doing something and I just didn't I didn't really soak it in enough. Good. What are you voting for Dylan. I might just go ahead and advance Randy's happy hour sign offs because it's Randy's first anniversary at Washed Media. I think I'm going to have to go with Randy's happy hour sign-offs as well.

I imagine this is your last win, though. What a blowout victory. Yeah, good for you, Randy. Dude, it truly is moving day. We truly have a mega tough scene on this next matchup. No. 11, Frat Dave versus No. 14, mega tough scene. Mega tough. I'll say this.

I love Frat Dave. Wow, I don't like where this is going. No, I think you will enjoy it. I like Frat Dave so much that I actually think that it needs to be more in the landscape of watching media.

I love Frat Dave and I have to go with Frat Dave. As far as characters that Dave does, Frat Dave is down the list for me. What? I don't know why. Too close to home? It's because you hate frats. Probably, yeah. Give me Sassy Wolf.

This frat star burned out. Give me his Ted Cruz. Give me a lot of things over Frat Dave. Dylan, you've always said that ever since you were a kid, you just wanted to be a frat star. Oh, my God. Please don't ever say that to me again. And shouts to the originator of Mega Tough Scene, which is Barry McOchner. Big shouts to him.

Okay. Okay. I guess we are giving shouts to him. I thought we didn't. Didn't you hate him? Yeah, he's the guy that got you. It's a Mega Tough Scene for frat Dave. Didn't he own you? Mega Tough he's the guy that got you. It's a mega tough scene for Fred Dave. Didn't he own you?

It's moving on. Didn't he own you on the TL? Well, Dave hasn't even voted yet. Yeah, he got me. To be clear, my favorite Dave character is a guy you haven't seen in a while, Bar. That's a good one. That's my favorite one. I just love a guy that you haven't seen in a while.

Yeah, Fred Dave's not his best character. Didn't make the tourney. Probably because he's only appeared once. He's in the NIT. He's going to win the NIT. Probably. Him or Flounder. Do I need to even vote? Yeah. The onus is all

over you right now. So that means one of you has voted for Frat Dave and the other has voted for Mega Tough Scene. I hate to pat myself on the back, but I'm going to go Frat Dave. Let's go. This is a spite pick against Dylan. It's moving, Dan.

That gets off scene. Sorry, dude. It's whatever, dude. Maybe next time. Oh, man, we got two Dylan bits right now. Number 13, Dylan not being able to cook versus number five, Dylan hitting the slopes. Okay, right. Which one does Dylan dislike more?

That's what you're going to go with? I think he dislikes Dylan hitting the slopes more, but I think eventually we can get him to crack by roasting his cooking enough. So my favorite questions through quarantine were just asking Dylan what he made for dinner the night before. I hated those questions. It's tough for Dylan because, like, he can't even plug his grill in. That is such a bummer. It's a serious problem.

We're going to get you a generator. Generation. Oh, man. I have a favorite one of these. Okay. What is it? Go ahead and vote. Dylan hitting the slopes, I think, is slightly.

It's kind of funny. Really? I've never done cocaine in my life. No, no, no. This is reverse. He's trying to. Really? I've never done cocaine in my life. No, no, no. This is reverse. He's trying to trick us. I've never done cocaine in my life. Is he trying to trick us?

Is he begging for us to go with Dylan? Did you already vote? Nope. No, you're the first person to vote. You're the first one, so now we'll hit the slopes. Dylan and I hold the cards. Oh, dang it. It's funny.

That's us holding the cards. Do you want the onus, or do you want me to have the onus? Onus Wagner. Dylan not being able to cook. Is he trying to play us? What are you going to do with your Onus, dude? I think Dylan is a little bit more sensitive about not being able to cook because I think he knows he can make some bomb brussies,

so I feel like he's actually getting disrespected by being the 13 seed, not being able to cook. So I think he's trying to trick us. One of my favorite voicemails that we've gotten in recent memory was someone following up on Dylan's New Year's resolution from 2020 about becoming better in the kitchen, and he wanted a status report of that. I just loved it. So I'm going to go with number 13.

This is an absolute Cinderella story. Dylan not being able to cook. That was funny. Is that all? Oh, no. Oh, number eight. absolute Cinderella story. Dylan not being able to cook. That was funny. Is that off? Oh, no. Oh. Oh. Number eight.

I am an oil man. Versus number one. Welcome to Wilmonds. Jeez. This is a tough draw. Tough draw. Oh, man. Not Mon.

You can say Mon too. This is kind of cannibalizing itself. I am an oil Mon. Based on oil Mons in Lubbock. Yeah. Oil Mons. I'm an oil Mon. Based on oil Mons in Lubbock. Yeah. Oil Mons. I'll get ahead of it. I have to go for the business that's keeping me afloat in the lazy river.

Nice. Welcome to oil Mons. Nice. Welcome to oil Mons. I'm going to go with oil Man just to put the anus or the onus on Dylan. Oil Man is tough, man. Dude, it's tough. I wish this matchup wasn't it.

Nothing makes Randy laugh more than the Oil Man bit. It's true. It's true. He's laughing right now. I'm going to put Wilmonds through, though. Welcome to Wilmonds Advances. Sorry, Dave. Wow.

Don't apologize to me. Welcome to Wilmonds. We sold more Wilmon's merch than Oil Man merch. Shouts to Barry Rigby, man. I'm fine with that. Big shouts to Barry Rigby. I never want a different sponsor than Vizzy, but if Foster's ever came knocking and we could just say,

I am an oil cat, it would just hit. Wow. Number six. We're in the Miller High Life side of the regions right now. Number 16, which're in the Miller High Life side of the regions right now. Number 16, which beat number one. Wow. COVID testing behind the dumpster.

This is number eight, Sassy Wolf Day. That's so funny. It wasn't a dumpster, man. And it was actually in the dumpster. It was in the dumpster. You had to hop in. Sassy Wolf Day, for me, might be one of the ones that just takes it to the next level. I told you today was going to be a pretty sassy episode.

I'm going to eat you. I always forget the Sassy Wolf Day thing until Dylan brings up, I'm going to eat you. I'm going to eat you. That's such a disrespectful way to eat somebody. Imagine getting eaten by a sassy wolf, of things it's it's kind of like scar from like lion king he was a little sassy he wasn't sassy he was a little sassy anime you said you see the way he's hardcore he slinks when he walks he's a slinky little boy okay i'll say he slinks he's a slinky little boy did you ever have a slinky growing up yeah i would

do the stair thing i actually got pretty good it at the stair thing. That's pretty cool. I bent mine. You had the metal one. No, I had the plastic one. If you bent it, it would eventually break. Oh. I had the plastic one. I had no issues with it.

Dylan, do you know what a slinky is? Of course I know what a slinky is, David. Are we poor because we had plastic ones and not the metal ones? Those have been around since like 1930. Oh, it's a slinky is, David. Are we poor because we had plastic ones and not the metal ones? Those have been around since like 1930. Oh, it's a slinky, sir. Drop it down the stairs, sir. Hours and hours are fine.

I don't know if the Empire State Building. That's a long ass slinky. That's dangerous, dude. Longest in the world. That's an old school toy. You know, if you unwrap the one that's as long as the Empire State Building, it actually wraps around the world six times. Yeah, that's true. You know you have enough veins in your body to have the world's longest slinky?

Is that true? Twice. Wow. There's more wire in the Golden Gate Bridge than there is slinkies in the world. I don't know if that's... Hey, think about that. I don't want to. Dude, that's crazy.

I don't want to. Where does the Golden Gate Bridge rank among your favorite bridges? You know they never stop painting it? I like Jeff. You hear about that? Yeah, that's like a thing about every bridge. They never stop painting it, Will. Because they go on one side, and then they go to the other.

What are you talking about? They have to restore it. They never stop painting it, you stupid dumbass. Are one side, then they go to the other. What are you talking about? They never stop painting it, you stupid dumbass. Are you saying painting? Painting it, dude. Painting what? The freaking bridge, dude. Why? Why do they paint it? It's made of gold. It's because of the climate there. It's constantly like, it's weathered. It's not even a

gate. Yeah, it's over salt water. You know how that corrodes things? Why are you explaining like I'm not filling everybody in on this really interesting fact? I'm mansplaining your fact. This guy doesn't understand weathering. You stupid dumbass. Come on, dude.

The Golden Gate Bridge is my number two bridge in the world. It's a dope-ass bridge. It really is, man. Mine's a bridge to Terabithia. You've never even seen

the Golden Gate in person, David. I have. I've crossed it. You could go to the West Coast one time. Idiot. Actually, Bay jumped off of it. You'd go to the West Coast one time. Idiot. Actually, Bays jumped off of it, so.

Did you? I Bay jumped off of it. Was that me? Jumped into the Bay. Yeah. Actually, that kind of worked out. Who was she? I'm sorry.

My wife. This is so stupid. I have to go with Sassy Wolf Dave. It's just, it makes me smile every single time. It does make me smile thinking about Dylan getting a COVID test. Yeah, imagine me in the dumpster getting a COVID test. But, dude, it's like that could have endangered the company. Some dude's poking my brain with a Q-tip in a dumpster.

Like, think about it. I mean, this will be the last time that COVID testing behind a dumpster actually, like, is in the rankings. We're not going to be COVID testing in dumpsters next year. No one's going to get vaxxed in a dumpster. Yeah. His, like, arm's going to turn green. Did this happen to you guys?

Looking Bruce Banner looking ass. Vote, dude. Well, hi in the dumpster. Oh, so I got the onus. The onus is all you. You knew you had the onus when you asked Dave to vote. I didn't. I'm going to go Sassy Wolf, Dave.

Sorry, COVID dumpster testing. I'm going to beat you. Wolf Dave Sorry COVID dumpster testing I'm going to beat you 16C took out a 1 It's already a good story I would love to see Sassy Wolf Dave Getting COVID tested in a dumpster though You going to poke me with that? Be easy on me

Hope it's negative It tickles My eye's watering Number 12 Mobbing with the boys I hope it's negative. Oh, it tickles. Oh, my eyes are watering. Number 12, Mobbing with the Boys, which beat Fraternity Leave. A lot of people had Fraternity Leave going deep into the tournament, and no one had number 12 going over that number five there. Dude, Dylan, why have you turned your back on frat?

Like, you built your brand on it. You were the king of frat. Admit it. I never liked frat. Frats. You used to always say no one frats harder than me. I've never said that. Were you a fan of saying that something is frat or something is fratty?

Fratty was the best. Frat. For sure. Frat-tastic. All Dylan wanted to be was a frat star. That term, actually, was was like just the worst. I cringed every time I heard the term frat star. Dylan would always fire out a text and be like,

dude, we're going to pregame, do some beer pong with the frat pack. You want to come over? So I went over to Dylan's house recently, and I brought a nice bottle of red, and I was like, man, we're just out vibe maybe mob with the boys and i activated party mode remember well i knocked on the door and there was like i waited for like a minute and i was like well this is kind of weird like maybe he's outside like out back trying to figure out his traeger still and so i walked in and his shower was running and he had a bluetooth speaker just playing music he was listening to rockstar by post malone right but he was replacing all the words with frat star. Wow.

It was really weird. Sounds like our trip to the Players' Championship. And didn't Parks open the door and say, who do you know here? Then he dabbed on me. Why was Barrett so unimpressed with the homies dabbing that video? Send me that video, by the way. Okay.

Barrett hates kids. Luckily, he would sat between two of them and that's El Rancho. Yeah. I felt bad. He got the Rhodes experience. Maybe he was unimpressed because that was his 40th dab of the lunch.

It was one of the final dabs that he had before. I think you told him, Park, stop dabbing. You're dabbing too much. Well, number 12, Mobbing with the Boys, is going up against number four, Podcast Week.

Ooh. This is tough, but I'm going with Podcast Week. Wow, you're voting for it during Podcast Week, coincidentally. Yeah, I mean, maybe if it wasn't Podcast Week currently, I wouldn't vote for it. But considering that this bit madness has fallen over Podcast Week, I have no choice but to stand. I'm going Mobbing with the Boys. Wow. Yeah, 12 over 4.

You're choosing Mobbing with the Boys during a pandemic. That's interesting. I sure am. David? Onus time. So that means one of you has chosen Mobbing with the Boys and the other has chosen Podcast Week. That's correct. Looking at my calendar right now, it looks like I have a date to Mob with the Boys,

but it's also Podcast Week, so this is tough. You know what? It's podcast week. Wow. Wow. I thought Mob with the Boys was going to make a run. Sorry.

Sometimes the boys got to take a seat. Shut up. I don't mob with the boys anymore. I mob with the fellas. See, the deeper we get into this bracket, the more difficult it becomes. That's how it works, man. Number three. Oh, a 3-11 matchup.

Come original. What color is your energy, bro? I don't get the reference. Number three, Shackett versus number 11. Big arms being out. This is crazy this is like having to kill one of your kids it's like which one like which one do i have to choose uh-huh isn't there a movie about that it's probably in the bible is it they have to cut the kid in half or something old testament randy knows what I'm talking about Yeah

Read the Bible one time It's too long New or Old Testament I kind of like them both That's what Trump said Yeah I forgot about that I kind of like them both I kind of fuck with them both

Dude you never cracked One of those before Shut up I don't like doing this Because I don't like To give Dylan credit but the shack he wore it every single day for an entire week and i just can't go against the shacket it's a shirt that's a jacket i just forced that bit down everyone's throats i just i was

relentless about the shacket there's also a lot of big arm guys out there that are just getting real big mad about this to us and like i don't want to be at some random bar on west six one night and then all of a sudden have some dude with giant arms come up and be like heard you're the fucking small arm guy that's a tough scene man we're just kidding not trying to square up with like a bodybuilder i'm going shacket damn shacket goes through is there a summer it's a bummer i was going going big arms. Is there a summer shacket? Yeah, I think they're just called shirts. That's unfortunate. Like button downs.

I just need a lightweight shacket to wear. It's a shirk it. Spring in the summer, you know? A shirk it? How do you feel about big arms being literally out of the bracket, Dave? I feel like this kind of pains you. You know. To be clear, big arms are still out.

Well, literally they're out. Yeah, and now they're just double out. Does that make them back in, though? No, they're very much out. They're just super out now. Number 10, making fun of Randy without a mic. And number 2, El Glissadente. This should not be close.

I don't want it to be close. I hate that he actually has a mic today. Hey, Randy, how do you feel about us making fun of you without a mic? Just kidding. Turn your mic down. Got him! Got him! Got him!

What an idiot. Wow, who are you filming? He fell for that, dude. You got him, dude. What a dumbass. What are you thinking? You think I'm going to turn your mic up during this part? Come on. What a dumbass, dude. What a dumbass. What are you thinking? You think I'm going to turn your mic up during this part? Come on.

What a dumbass, dude. Yeah, dude. Come on. Oh, man. I have to go with Al Glyzidente, though. I'm going to go make it fun. I just had a lot of fun making fun of Randy without a mic. I know.

It's hard to vote that off based on how hard I'm laughing right now, but Al Glyzidente gave us so much time. Dylan, go ahead and vote. Making fun of Randy without a mic. Oh, that puts it on me. Man, I love making fun of Randy without a mic. But I got to go with the gliss. It's glizzy season.

Shit. It's a season, dude. This thing's got to fall somewhere. I don't know if it's going to. It's got to fall. It's not that funny. I pull up double fisting. I don't know if it's going to. It's got to fall. It's not that funny. I pull up, double fist in. I got a Vizzy and a Glizzy.

And I'm about to get busy. Can we throw a Glizzy and a Vizzy themed pool party this summer? We had a call with Vizzy today. We didn't ask him about possibly doing a hot dog flavor for Circling Back. Do you guys have any more questions regarding the campaign or anything like that? Dude, let's throw that theme party. Chocolate starfish. And a hot dog flavored glizzy.

I don't hate that. Or busy. I don't hate that at all. Fred Durst might have something to say about that. Glizzy and a busy. We got another. All right, what are we down into now? The poncho bracket?

Poncho region? Number two, the homey playing GTA versus number seven. There's no way to look that up the homey playing gta is a two seed that's kind of surprising but that kind of people ride for parks well yeah he's the goat parks himself isn't actually on the bracket so i think this acts as a nice little you know substitute but there's no way to look that up there's no way to look that up there's no way to look that up. There's no way to look that up. There's no way to look that up has been one of the longest running bits.

I think we said it a lot in San Diego. We can't look up when we first said it. No, it's literally impossible. There's no way to do it. I don't know. Who wants to vote first? I can't do this. I'll vote first.

I'm going to go for the homie playing GTA. Wow. What are you doing, Dylan? The onus is yours, sir. I'm going to go for the homie playing GTA. Wow. What are you doing, Dylan? The onus is yours, sir. I'm going. There's no way to look that up. Mostly I want to put the homie playing GTA behind us. Can I say something about the homie?

Yeah. I felt really bad the last time I saw him because he wanted to come in and, like, do what he normally does, which is just beat the shit out of me. Uh-huh. I had this neck thing. So I'm, like, very, like, immobile. Well, he kept doing i was like i had to like tell him like stop and i felt kind of bad because like normally i you know i fight back play with the kid and i was i i was like i can't man was he rattled when you said that yeah you could tell he's a little caught off guard and i was like no it's not you man it's me it's the neck thing i can't really

yeah so i just want to put that out there okay it was weird i walked into the twitch lab and he like looked at me and he just kind of whispered. He was like, dude, why is Dave being a little baby back bitch today? Yeah, he's right. And I was like, dude, his neck's bothering him. He had the language on that kid. I know. I told him.

I was like, dude, you can't talk like that. Dang. So the onus is on your boy? I have to go with there's no way to look that up. It's just such a long-running bit that at this point. That's the right call. It's such a bit in my head that i end up just saying it without even thinking about it's the right call i say it in normal conversation oh my god this is

two of dave's children against each other wow number six spooky season versus number three roads rough damn my goons got goons dang and be your own people. This is not a matchup you wanted to see in the second round. Rhodes Ruff is a very strong bit, though. It's funny because he's not even real. Yeah. You just wanted two weeks off. One of those weeks was the freeze week, too. Yeah, you didn't even get the full fraternity.

I have put in a petition to have another week. That's fine. We'll see what HR says. Can it fall over my bachelor party? Yeah. We still got to make that happen. How long after the child is born can we go do my bachelor party? We can do it a decade from now.

Should we just cuck Micah's bachelor party and say that it's mine? Just rattle him? Yeah. I can't vote first. I love both of these things. I do too. I mean, spooky season's been around for longer than Rhodes, so they've got the pedigree, you know?

We've made more money on spooky season. Yeah, you could argue that Rhodes is just costing you money. We're losing money on Rhodes with insurance and everything. He's costing us. I'll go with spooky season. I'm voting against your son. Dave, I'm going to let you go next.

I'm going to go with spooky season. I was going to go with spooky season. I I was going to go with Spooky Season. I just didn't want to be the one to make that a siding vote. Spooky Season is too strong. It's too strong. It's literally one of the best products we have in this company. It's incredible. You can't vote against, like, Lil Pumpkin.

No. If it's Lil Pumpkin versus Spooky Season, then I'd just be rattled. Ooh, another tough matchup. There's going to be a group of people that are very unhappy about this. It's a tough one, see? Ah, this one's tough. It's number four, 1940s gangster accents versus number five, Wilmommies. I got a slinky, see?

Do you guys remember when Ross Boland came on to Happy Hour Live and said, yeah, so what's up with this Wilmans thing? Oh, yeah. Wilmans. Wil yeah. Wilmans. Wilmans. That's the Irish pub. Wilmans. Well, I'll tell you what.

The Wilmommies are not going to be happy with me because I'm going 1940s gangster accent. How are you going to vote for it without doing it in 1940s gangster accent? 1940s gangster accent. I'm going to vote for the Wilmommies just to put it on Will. Thanks. Wow. Well, I like a good 1940s gangster accent as much as anybody.

I think Dave was swayed by the Will Mommies going at him on Twitter a little bit. He got a little rattled. He wants to get back on that big racist. I went back and listened, and I feel like slander wasn't the proper word. No. It was more of just voting for old Gene. Which, by the way, Gene was robbed. Yeah.

Gene is like ground floor bit. Yeah. But I did vote for the Wilmommies, so that should protect me. I'm voting for the Wilmommies. They got that mob mentality. I'd ride with the Wilmommies. They got that mob mentality. They're doing big things, man.

They're doing Camp Will Mommies. They're coming up with their own logos and shit. If you cross them, though, they'll get the Tommy guns out. You voted against them, however. Yeah, you did vote against them. I just wanted that to be put out. Oh, yeah. Oh, of course I did.

And I'm not going to say what you said off air. Of course I voted against them. 1940s gangster accents is a great bit. I'm sorry. I love the Will Mommies. voted against them. 1940s gangster accents is a great bit. I'm sorry. I love the Will Mommies. I love them. I appeared on their live stream once. Just say what up.

It was great. Watermelon sugar. Watermelon sugar. Hi. Number eight, Dave's mustache versus number one. Dave texting the homie. Is this our final matchup of the day? Hard to say.

Oh, final matchup of the day, number eight, Dave's moustache. Dave's moustache. I kind of like spelling mustache that way, if I'm being honest. It's a little cocky. It feels a little like old-fashioned. Yeah, a little cocky. Versus Dave texting the homie. It's weird that the homie gets service and Dylan doesn't on weekends.

He's got a better plan. He's actually on my plan. Really? Should we get him a burner phone for his birthday? He's got a cricket wireless. He's my godson. Yeah. I'm going Dave texting the homie.

Wow. No offense to your mustache. Well, I'm going with Dave's mustache so that the onus is on to your mustache. Well, I'm going with Dave's mustache. Oh, this is on Dave. Oh, I don't like having to choose between these. They both have your name in them. It's tough. I just didn't want to have to choose.

The mustache isn't even a bit. Did it start as a bit? Yeah. They all do. Yeah, exactly. I'm DTH. Dave Texton, homie. Wow.

I think it makes sense. It's a number one seed for a reason. It's an old school bit, too. Can we run through some of the matchups that we have next week? Some of the tough ones, just real quick? I mean, just from looking at it real quick, drinking one beer versus Mocha Claappuccino, a little tough. Horny police versus that's the only way she can eat fajitas.

That's going to be a tough one. I'm going to have to look towards Mel Kiper for that one. I might call in sick for that one. Randy's happy hour sign-offs versus frat Dave. Mel Kiper. He's a big basketball pundit. Everyone knows that. Please subscribe to Too Much Dip.

Bang. Welcome to Will Monser versus Dylan not being able to cook. Actually, you could actually probably be a pretty good chef for us. Who do the Will Mommies got? Thank you. Podcast Week versus Sassy Wolf Dave. That's a tough one. Shacket Glissadente.

There's no way to look that up versus Spooky Season. The Will Mommies have Dave texting the homie. Oh, no. God. Putting me right in the crosshairs again. Wow, Will Mommies made it through, huh? Yeah. Didn't see that coming. Yeah, they made it through, see? Oh, yeah. Good for them. the crosshairs again. Yeah. Wow, Wilmami's made it through, huh? Yeah. Didn't see that coming.

Yeah, they made it through, see? Oh, yeah. Good for them. They brought their Tommy guns. Mob mentality. Yeah. Ha-ha. Literally.

Al Capone. You're good at it. Literally Al Capone. What did Al Capone die from? It was an STD, right? Chlamydia. I don't know. Right? Can you die from chlamydia an STD, right? Chlamydia. I don't know. Right?

Can you die from chlamydia? Back in the day. Syphilis. You're right. No, he died from cardiac arrest. No, he got pneumonia, and then the next day he suffered from cardiac arrest. Was there not a syphilis thing? You're a Chicago guy, allegedly, from Indiana.

It's a confusing one. Well, I've told you the stories. Al Capone had a nice little operation going up in northern Michigan. Running booze across the border? Not sure what he was doing, actually. Running booze. He did have a tunnel that went from this area where a bank is now to a restaurant area. And so I believe that there was probably some illegal activity happening in there.

A guy in my eighth grade class decided to do his research project on it. I did mine on the Loch Ness Monster. Our underwater ally. Pretty chill. I see. And then he got to go in the tunnel. I was like, damn, why didn't I choose something baller like this? Nothing better than going in a tunnel.

Eighth grade me just doing Loch Ness Monster shit. What a fucking lame ass report. Did you do any spelunking in Cabo? Mm-hmm. Big time spelunker. Everybody knows that. I'm scared to do it. That sounds dirty.

Yeah. No, I didn't do any spelunker. Everybody knows that. I'm scared to do it. That sounds dirty. Yeah. No, I didn't do any spelunking, David. Just spilling? Let's talk about ritual real quick. Jeez. Ever heard of them? What's wrong with you? Come on.

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A lot of vowels in there. Guess what, Will? Dude, that word is all vowels. Took mine this morning. Really? Would you say it's a morning ritual? Oh my goodness. I've always said my day doesn't start until I get my coffee and my ritual. There you go.

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at such a high level, like on the limited amount of sleep? It's because I'm getting all the vitamins that I'm not getting, like through foods, through the ritual vitamin. You are weirdly bringing it finally today. So thank you. Finally. Took me a while. Vitamins, if there's ever a time to start taking a daily vitamin, isn't it right now? Protect that immune system. Why would you wait? Just make sure your system's on fleek. Why wouldn't you want to feel as optimized as you can right now? Can't imagine doing that. You don't want to end up in a dumpster getting a test. No. You want

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Wow. Yeah. So your boy's doing that. They're delivered right to your door every month with free shipping always. You can start, snooze, or cancel your subscription at any time. And if you don't love Ritual within your first month, they'll refund your first order. Big on refunds these days. Huge.

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Unfortunately, today is Randy's one-year anniversary. I always had April in my mind for him. A lot of people thought he wasn't going to make it this far. Randy, did you think you were going to make it this far? Oh, I knew it. I'm an idiot. I thought he was on a one-year deal. Yeah, we got bad news.

That's actually why we have him on the mic today. This is his farewell. We are not extending. Randy didn't read his contract, but today's actually the day that you're terminated. We're going to have to restructure your deal. Make some more cap room. So we can sign SVP. How's it feel, Randy?

Is it like a birthday to you? Feels like St. Paddy's Day. Wow. Just another day in the office. So your original request for your one-year celebration was to go to Dave & Buster's. It was my second request. I'm going back to the first request, the original request. What, Chili's?

The original request. Chili's. He wants to go to Chili's. Okay, I guess we original request. Chili's. He wants to go to Chili's. Okay, I guess we're going to Chili's. Oh, absolutely go to Chili's with you. Just, you know, COVID times, Dave and Buster's, touching all this stuff. Doesn't seem like the move. Yeah, I'm going to try to hit that Dance Dance Revolution button right now.

What's wrong with a little DDR? Actually nothing. Use your feet. Not touching anything. Let's go. You'd be shocked by seeing how fast these feet move when I hop fast these feet move. I don't want to see you do that. What if you found out that Randy was sneaky awesome at DDR? It would be very unsurprising for me.

We used to have DDR mats for the PlayStation 2. Okay. I had two of them. Okay. Anyway. I had the Power Glove. What's your favorite Randy moment over the past year? I know what yours is.

Just hit the TL again. No, that's not it. The cake? The cake that he just keeps serving up daily. Can I tell you my favorite Randy moment from the last year? Uh-huh. It was after we were actually celebrating another one-year anniversary, which was Brett's, and we went to a hotel bar after

because there was really nothing open, and Randy decided to start doing origami for the waitress, and he gave her a bouquet of flowers made out of napkins that was by far the best that is it was one rose and she loved it I think my favorite Randy moment is when he just we're in here like about to record good spirits good mood vibes are right and he just brings up something just tanks the vibe right before we record that's probably my favorite Randy moment moments moments yeah mine's just randy's timing in general yeah it's got to be origami but since we'll already chose it i will go back to the gut bacteria that randy randy did a sign off when i i didn't know what was wrong with

my insides and i had to get like a procedure done but randy randy turned it into the best sign off he's ever done in my opinion next Next to candy cane or gut bacteria. Question. Are things going better in the gut? Thanks to you, yeah. Yeah, I was going to say. Mission accomplished. Hang the banner.

Getting pretty comfortable in here asking about Dave's guts on his one-year anniversary. Wow, dude. Wow. Okay. One of my favorite sign-offs was actually just when you were in space. He was just floating through space. My favorite by far was, I guess it was a candy cane. I was thinking ornament, but he was hanging from a tree. Wasn't it a cane? It was actually just when you were in space. He was just floating through space. My favorite by far was, I guess it was a candy cane. I was thinking ornament, but he was hanging from the tree.

Wasn't it a cane? It was both. It was a candy cane ornament. Candy cane ornament. Okay. Both. And then he was like 20 minutes late to work the next day, and I was wondering if he got stuck in the tree.

The skeleton is something that should be noted. I'm not saying we had to have a full conversation, but when Randy did come in as a skeleton, that was a pretty good one. Do you remember the time that Randy took vacation and was just gone no because that was awesome oh yeah that was my favorite time have you taken a vacation i mean he's been like 16 not really over the past year you do have a lot of friends getting married yeah i got like three more four more this year you're taking your ritual something i something i did truly enjoy was during the austin freeze there was never a conversation with randy about like what to do or like if he should be working on anything like that it was kind of just like you know what let's just let randy run free because he was trying to find

water and heat for just days on end and it was like yeah i'm not even going to talk to randy about maybe making a clip out of our out of our online streams or anything i'm going to let him just have this week to just survive. It looked like the Blair Witch Project at his apartment that week. He was bad. He went off on the content that week. Yeah, he did. I would like to thank Alyssa and Sally for actually reaching out and seeing if I was

okay and no one else in the company. Well, I told Sally, too. I was like, Sally, can you reach out to Randy? I told you you could stay. I will pull receipts. That is a blatant lie. I offered you my house, I believe, at one point. You did.

You did offer him your house. Thank you. Jerk. I would have, but, man, I had the newborn at home, man. Dang. That did happen right after you had that newborn. I know, man. You could have had Randy be a night nurse.

Nah. No, you don't want that. I could see him being a good dad. He just has roads doing squats, then trying to get his cake up. Mm-hmm don't want that. I could see him being a good dad. He just has roads doing squats, then trying to get his cake up. Mm-hmm. It's ridiculous. My favorite Randy moment is when we're recording

the Too Much Dip livestream, and Randy, like, he's on the stream yard, but he's not actually on the broadcast. And for whatever reason, he feels a need to, like, do his shirtless workouts on camera. So, like, you're, like, talking, and you look down, and Randy's doing, like, like do his shirtless workouts on camera so like you're like talking and you look down and randy's doing like jumping jacks i did that once and i stopped my camera you could you don't we don't even need you to have the camera on but that was a good moment

i i do enjoy every single happy hour live just seeing randy preparing for his bit and me not knowing what it is and just like constantly down being like, what the fuck is Randy doing right now? Randy, what's been your favorite moment? Oh man, let's go generic. Just getting hired. Yeah, that was pretty big. What about taping the South by party that was supposed to be on your first day?

Which was supposed to be literally a year ago today. Yeah, I was ready to watch you guys beat up Jake and Amir, but I don't know. I love the happy hour sign-offs. They're just to watch you guys beat up Jake and Amir, but I don't know. I love the happy hour sign-offs. They're just fun to do. What? Who are Jake and Amir?

They're podcast hosts. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are we going to run up on some fools? What was the thing we had? They were going to get the business. It was a Patreon thing, right? It was a Patreon house of creativity or something like that. And we were just going to throw hands with other podcast creators?

I don't know. We were going to frat stomp them. I love the idea of just us tanking our relationship with Patriot and just to beat up some other podcast. A frat stomp. So stupid. Yeah, we hired him right before the pandemic. No one's doing that.

Solid move by us. Yeah, I don't know what it's like being an employee outside the pandemic. Yeah, that's kind of weird. Oh, yeah. Well, sadly, you won't. What are we doing at dinner? Are we going tonight? I'm free tonight, TBH.

Hard to say. We might have some other stuff in the pipeline tonight. Whoa. Like? Oh, we may not. Like such as? Like beers with the boys. The Iraq? such as? Like beers with the boys. The Iraq?

We might have some beers with the boys, right? The boys? I was told they have margarita pitcher deals on Saturday. Where is the Austin Chili's? We're not doing a weekend dinner.

Like, come on. Austin Chili's? I don't know. Where are kids going these days? There's one up by me, kind of by Lamar and 45. That's too far north. I don't go that far north.

That's too far north. Is there one go that far north. That's too far north. Is there one south of the river? I don't know. You've lived here for your whole life. I don't go to fucking Chili's, man. I'm sorry. God, dude, you suck. You call yourself a frat star?

You're not. I guess we could come closer to you since we are celebrating you. No, I'm looking now. Randy, make him ride his bike. Are you sure you want to go to Chili's? We took Brett to one of the most expensive steakhouses in Austin. Yeah, and it led to Randy doing origami for a waitress. Yeah.

Yeah, I'm not a steakhouse guy. I'm a Chili's guy. Randy will just send the steak back for being too salty. That's where T-Bone originated. You're a T-bone guy. That's where T-bone originated. Arguably a good bit. Yeah. Now there's a Chili's near Stassney. Looks like that's our spot.

Wait, Stassney and what? I'm not trying to go to a Stassney Chili's. I normally don't go to Stass. That's east. It's got to be east, right? Dude, I don't know. I don't know my left and right. Do you think I know how to look at a map and see what's going on?

Good. Very, very fair point. Fair. I guess we're going to Chili's, though. Will, let's go to Hula Hut. Ooh, I'll go to Hula Hut. They got the Pipeline Fajitas. I actually wouldn't be opposed to that.

They got Tubular Tacos, man. Dude, I can stumble home. We can have an after party. We don't have this kid out yet. We can rage all night at my place. I'll give you a Tubular Taco. Do you get it, Will? Aren't we paying for it on the company card?

No, this one's on me. Should we let Randy do this weekend of fun with us? No. Nah. Should we kick him off? Should we turn his mic down? It's just going to be him riding his bike through Austin and enjoying himself. It's true.

Nobody wants to hear that. They want to hear me just say I'm not riding his bike through Austin and enjoying himself. It's true. Nobody wants to hear that. They want to hear me just say I'm not really doing anything. Let's do this week in a fun. Presented by Honey. We all shop online, and we've seen that promo code field just taunt us at checkout. But thanks to Honey, manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past. Honey is a free browser extension that scours the internet for promo codes and applies the best one it finds to your cart. They support over 30,000 online stores. They range from sites

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But I normally just pay full price because I'm different. I don't know if they're going to like that. I don't think you should do that. I think you should use honey. That makes no sense. You're such an idiot. You're just leaving money out there. Dave, you have a child now.

You need to be saving money more than you were before. I hustle. Wow. Just imagine that you're shopping on one of your favorite sites. When you check out, the honey button drops down. You don't even have to think about it. Like, sometimes I forget it. It's such a – it doesn't slow down your browser or anything like that.

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You looked pretty good. Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah, you're welcome. What if I just look like shit on my wedding day? Well, I wouldn't tell you. You looked okay. I didn't because Honey actually made it nice for me to buy a tux that I wouldn't have bought otherwise.

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not a lot man not a lot at all actually i have no plans um i will not have parks friday or saturday i'm looking to mob if the people are mobbing i don't know no dave's got a newborn at home you got one like a couple days away is it really a little further than that yeah don't you a couple days away. It's a little further than that. It would be a mega tough scene in the nursery at our place if that baby comes out sooner than later. Put some respect on the trimester.

Point being, I have nothing going on and I'm looking to mob. The app told me the other day that our baby's the size of a Tickle Me Elmo. Really? And luckily my dad was swag back in the day and he got me one for Christmas. Wait, how big is a Tickle Me Elmo? The size And luckily, my dad was swag back in the day and he got me one for Christmas. Wait, how big is a Tickle Me Elmo?

The size of your child? They're like 35 pounds. I don't know. How big are they? I don't like this. Dude, you're too good at that. It's weirdly good. Yeah, please stop.

Please stop. Okay. Stop it. You gotta cut that out. Oh, boy. That's Mickey. Sorry. You're mixing things. Yeah. Bye. That's Mickey. Sorry. You're mixing things.

Yeah. Sorry, dude. Call me DJ. Mixologist over here. I got nothing going on this weekend. Going to the TGI Friday's Mixology Championship or whatever. Are y'all trying to link? Well, you remember that.

What? TGI Friday's Bartending Championship. Dude, it was sick. Dylan didn't get invited. Dylan did not get invited. I didn't want to go to that stupid thing. Dude, it was sick. Dylan didn't get invited. Dylan did not get invited. I didn't want to go to that stupid thing. Dude, that was so fun. It was, like, people talk about the most fun trips we took at Grand X.

Like, you know, Players Championship gets brought up. The cruise gets brought up. But Dave and I were just balling during the World Bartending Championship. Dude, we were front row with our handlers, and we were just pounding. Pounding beers. Pounding beers. It was kind of weird they weren't serving cocktails at that, considering it was a bartending championship. It was weird.

And we drank, it was like the ballpark aluminum bottle beers, and we were just, we were salacing. I love those. It was so fun. I love those cans. I probably drank at least four. Bottle cans. They're great. Saw a dude at my old apartment walking in with like 12 of those the other day, and I was like,

God, he's about to have such an awesome weekend. Dude. They remind me of Vegas so much. They sell them up and down the strip. Great. You just can't help yourself. I've been there before,

not to brag. You just can't help yourself, dude. You're such a fucking frat star. You're trying to make that catch on and I hate you for it. What are you talking about? Please. Please.

Are you saying that they're going to be like a weird late entrant into Bit Madness? No. Not. If somebody gets, like one of the teams

gets COVID and they have to step in? What are you doing this weekend, Dave? I don't know. Not much. Just taking care of your kid? Probably just that

and the weather's supposed to be pretty good. Maybe we'll go outside. Go for a walk or something? Go to the park with supposed to be pretty good. Maybe we'll go outside. Go for a walk or something. That sounds exciting. Go to the park with the dog. Sounds lit. Hang out with Randy.

You're really making me excited for fatherhood and all the fun. It's great, man. Oh, it really is, dude. I was talking on – I did – not to brag. I did RBP yesterday, and Ross was – we were talking about the kid, and I got – I borderlined just like just talking about him. Got a little emotional. That makes sense. To be honest,

we've been getting a lot of GIFs from our registry. Ooh, which one? Dude, this sounds really lame, but like... I say GIF, but... From your GIF registry? Pulling out those books makes me kind of emotional. I'm like, fuck, I'm going to be reading this thing.

Just wait until the kid's born. It hits different. Kyle Bandujo, noted friend of the pod, he sent me a book, two books the other day, and, like, he told me one of them makes him tear up a little bit. Sorry if I'm exposing him right now. Dude, don't. I get it, man. Shit's emotional.

Tell me about it, dog. There's something about when you're just holding something you created and as it's screaming in your face and just pooping itself, you're just like, oh, my God. This is different. Is Rhodesville different? Some are saying. I got a big weekend plan.

I don't have anything. Are you ready for what I'm thinking about doing? Are you going to mob with me? Took Rosie for a walk last night. Did a little survey of the new crib. Walking around. Saw that they filled the pool up. With water?

Your boy might be hitting the pool. No, busy. All right, I'll come through, man. I might try to do it. I'll come through. I might try to do it. We'll see. But other than that, I don't really have much on the old docket here.

How did they fill it? Did they just have Dylan come stand in it? Mm-hmm. He's a handsome guy. Mm-hmm. That's gross. It is gross. You're right.

Now, I don't really have any plans. I feel like I have plans every night this week. And so it's kind of like I haven't even begun thinking about the weekend. Ladies and gentlemen. Ladies and gentlemen. The weekend. Will's weekend. So are people out there scouring the other SNL performances hoping that there's another bit out there that they can start a Twitter account for that's like, ladies and gentlemen, Miley Cyrus. That doesn't work.

But there has to be one more guest out there that you can make a Twitter account out of. Ladies and gentlemen, Wes and Dill. They did say that SNL's having trouble getting big-name stars, so it might be difficult for... Wes and Dill might get the nod. Why are they having... Because nobody's watching?

Yeah, I think it's just not doing well. It's not prestigious to do SNL anymore. We turned it down. There's better things to do. I just don't like New York City that much. I don't really feel like going there. New York City? I would do Mad TV.

Oh, would you? Would Jim Carrey? Randy, what are you doing this weekend? Your mic is still up. Since it's your one-year anniversary, we'll give you the opportunity. You have 12 seconds. He's been champing at the bit for this. To be honest, right now, I have nothing planned.

The past couple weekends have been boring, so I think I'm going to try to step out, go mob, have fun, probably look at apartments, get a new phone. My calendar's all booked. I wasn't asking to hang out with you. Okay. Yeah, he doesn't want to hang out with a bunch of old dudes. I don't blame him.

But, yeah, I don't know. Rain's probably got a tight squad. Going to go maybe try to go out, but need a new phone. That's the biggest thing. That's going to be my job this weekend. Wow. Why? Do you not like that your phone has a 30% battery after you unplug it for an hour?

It still has the home button. So that's, I think, the biggest thing. I've been shamed into that. Yeah. Oh, my God. And also, it just dies at 100% sometimes. Does that worry you to go out and get an Uber? That's why I want to get a new phone so I can go out.

You're going to get stranded and you're going to be sending smoke signals asking for Dylan to pick you up. Like, please, Dad, I know you're not doing anything because no one calls you. That's not nice. I'll call you this weekend. If I go to the pool, you'll be in the top four people I text. Don't play. Do it.

I was thinking about asking Micah to come over. Micah's currently holding on to my Vizzy Reserve because it was just something I couldn't pack. So I think I'm going to make Micah bring over some Vizzys and just hop in that pool. That's a great idea. I want to try some new Vizzy flavors. We could put my new jet ski in the pool. Didn't think about that. Just do donuts?

Like when Billy passed the third grade. Just do donuts? Like when Billy passed the third grade. We got Brett's breaking news, but unfortunately Brett cannot make it here for Brett's breaking news. Why? Where'd he go? He's on a biz call. No, he's probably in there.

Busy Dev Brett. He's probably in there working on his bracket. Do you remember Busy Dev Teves, the commenter from PGP Days? No, I don't. I just like the word busy dev. I only remember tired guy. Tired guy was good. I might just go back into the comments and just see what kind of – You don't want to do that?

Yeah, that's probably a good call. All right, a little choose-your-own-adventure, guys. Sabres, illegal shark trafficking, and POD. We can't do Sabres. Let's go POD. Do you know if it's about the hockey team or about the things you – They fire the coach, Will. You do the champagne thing with.

I've never done that. It looks dangerous. Yeah, I don't need to. I'd rather just open it with my hands. Buffalo Sabres fire coach Ralph Kruger after his 12-game skid. Yeah, losing 12 is tough. Yeah, you don't want to lose – If you're in a professional sport, losing 12 games in a row is not what you want.

Yeah. I'll say it. Especially when you're ranked outside of the top 31. Do you want illegal shark trafficking or sabers? You just did sabers. Or P.O.D.? Let's do P.O.D. What's P.O.D.?

Are you serious? Is it a band? I don't really know. You watched Little Nicky one time for me. This says the mystery boom noise has been heard once again in San Diego. So I guess he's just doing P.O.D. Here comes the boom. It says last week residents of San Diego reported another mysterious boom noise

accompanied by unsettling rattling of windows. The boom is the second to take place in the city these past three weeks, which have been unaccompanied by earthquakes, according to the United States Geological Survey. So there's just booms going out. Maybe it's jets. Sonic booms. Miramar's right there.

You don't think it could possibly be POD doing underground concerts during COVID? I don't think that's what it is. It could be guile. Who's throwing sonic booms? Could it be T-boom pickings? That's pretty. Okay. It could be Nelly Cruz just boom sticking. Okay. Tiger great and Ranger great. That's pretty good. Could be Nelly Cruz, just boomsticking.

Tiger great and Ranger great. That's not what it is. You don't think he's just taking BP out there and people are like, Jesus. I think they'll be able to identify that. Do you think it could be the new drivers at the Callaway factory? That's what it is. Dude, the Callaway boomstick. The Callaway boomstick.

They never made the pipe, sadly. What are they waiting for? They're waiting for us to disband as a company so we can't sue the shit out of them. They never made the pipe, sadly. What are they waiting for? They're waiting for us to disband as a company so we can't sue this shit out of them. They know we own the IP. What's up with these Sharks, then? Dave, I don't think Nelson Cruz ever played for the Tigers. He beat the Tigers, sorry.

He beat the Tigers very badly in the ALCS. Was that the one big setup just to fuck me over? No, it was just an error on my part. I was trying to remember where he went after the Rangers. You guys want to hear about the shark trafficking? A New York man was convicted. He had a backyard full of sharks. His pool.

Above ground pool, I'm saying. Oh, it's above ground. Oh, so you went in. You looked at the breaking news. Yeah. That's not cool. They crushed the first sentence of this news story. It says, well, this bites for a New York man.

Yeah. Not as much as his odd pets. He's been convicted of trafficking sharks, which he left in an above-ground pool in his backyard. Again, this is New York, not Florida. Let the man have his sharks. They're sandbar sharks, though, which I don't know much about sandbar sharks, but they don't sound like dangerous ones to me. Throw a tiger shark in there or something.

Actually, a sandbar shark sounds pretty chill, actually. Yeah, like I would hang out with one. I would swim with one. Swim up sweet style. Randy seems to have something to say. Throw a bull shark in there. Let's get crazy. I got a piece of breaking news slash too much dip slash steam room.

This better be fucking good, Randy. Chance, you're doing a lot. After a franchise history of never having a quarterback, I'm glad the Chicago Bears have finally found their guy, the backup quarterback, Andy Dalton. Well, let me be the first to congratulate you. As someone who's gotten a front row seat to Andy Dalton's recent history, you're going to love it. I stand my Ginger Kings out there.

That's all I have to say. Katie Texas' own. Yeah. I have to say that because there's a significant chance that I have a ginger king. Or prince. Okay. Your child. I'm just worried my kid's going to come out looking like Prince Harry.

He's a handsome fella. He's pretty handsome. I guess. But people, like, there's, like, a conspiracy theory that, like, Prince Charles isn't his dad or whatever. If you've seen the photos, it makes you think. The timelines don't add up, but I don't know if I believe the timelines. Yeah, I don't really believe the facts. The dude that's allegedly his dad looks exactly like him, and Diana had an affair with him.

It's weird. Is that confirmed? He was, like, one of her body like him, and Diana had an affair with him. It's weird. Just putting it out there. Is that confirmed? She was like, he was like one of her bodyguards, right? Yeah, and he looks just like Prince Harry. He really guarded that body. R.I.P., though. Let's get out of here. It's been a hot week of content.

Man, what a week. Princess Di, bae mood or goals? Bae. Okay. Okay. Bye.