Circling Back - Bourbon Guys & Panera Lemonade

Episode Date: December 19, 2022

It's the week before Christmas which means productivity is low but the vibes are high. Dave and Will each had notable liquor store experiences over the weekend, Panera is officially serving meth in their lemonade, AI Chat bots, Australian spinach that makes you trip balls, and recapping our Weekends in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low as $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel — www.youtube.com/circlingback Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (10:00) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (25:10) Liquor Store Runs Gone Wrong (35:30) Panera’s Iced Tea Is Meth, Apparently (45:52) ChatGPT AI Chat (54:00) Let’s Talk About This Heady Spinach in ‘Stralia (1:03:00) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Liquid IV: www.liquidiv.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 25% off) Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (BACKER for 20% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back circling back podcast presented by busy hard seltzer. The only hard seltzer with vitamin C from superfruit acerola. My name is Will DeFreeze To my left, David Ruff. We got big pre-vibes in here today. Pre-Christmas break. What else? Like, the bullpen this morning was an absolute scene. The boys were buzzing this morning.

We needed somebody with a camera documenting it in a non-intrusive fashion. Brett was getting cooked at the end there. I wasn't a non-intrusive fashion. Brett was getting cooked at the end there. I wasn't going to bring that part up. My man was getting cooked. He did get a little saute. Not great. We put him in. We browned him on both sides. Tough scene. Threw him in the stew.

It is stew season. Want to just put that out there in case y'all didn't know. It might be ramen season today. I've never made a stew before. You're the stew guy. I about that was your whole thing i've never made a stew okay it's weird you're a big stew guy you a lot am i a big stew guy big stew energy no man i'm a big pot roast guy everyone knows that right i'll do some beef bulking on i don't know what you just said it's because it's rich i don't like i'm just said. It's because it's French. I don't like this character.

My last name's French. Cheveret. Cheveret's French. I'm sorry for appropriating your culture. Yeah, you should be, man. What? You're just, it's undetermined. Is my last name Cheveret or is it not?

It's Chivory. It's Chivory. Stop trying to class up your name dirt pronounce dirt you got name cucked no i did but look she's the queen of that household so what she says goes i don't know man it's kind of your name yeah man it's kind of your name that's not not anymore you know like just like they say in scarface all you have is your balls your word and your last name i've lost two of those and i don't I don't bust them for nobody. What were you going to ask me?

Did you have your testicles removed? Are you Kendall? The eunuch. Nah. To anyone out there who's like, man, I'm going to try out this new podcast today, welcome to the Circling Back program. If any of you found us through the, what is it, Texas Dive B bars what is that guy texas dives dude texas dives uh welcome this is what we do we're gonna get texas dives on this show did i want to work back so like

what's your favorite bar like what do you like to do when you go to bars that's sick that's very cool yeah do you ever get like too drunk? So this morning at 8 a.m. I went to the final round of Parks' second grade spelling bee. Started off very strong, mega cute, steps up to the mic, nails his first word. What was his first word? N-A-I-L-S. Page. Oh. P-A-G-L-S. Page. Oh.

P-A-G-E. He spelled it correctly. Okay. It's because it's easy. I just did it. Yeah. Well, you're also in your mid-30s. Yeah.

You've probably seen that word a few times. The second word didn't go as well. The little guy was just crushed, man. He walked off the stage, head held high, and then he just kind of slunk and started crying, and he came up to me. It was a tough scene, man. What was the word? Yeah, you got to give us the word.

Stares? He had the right letters. He just had them in the wrong order. Are they allowed to write down any words? No. Okay. No. They gave us a piece of paper,

so if you wanted to write, you could write on it real quick. We're talking like second graders on a stage, walk up to a microphone, speaking to a, you know, a cafeteria full of parents. Like,

that's kind of intimidating for a seven-year-old. Yeah, but he's also a seven-year-old who has a father podcaster who talks to just millions of people a day. I would have,

I would have peed myself in second grade. You would have definitely chunked it. Oh, absolutely. I was nervous for him. Were y'all good at spelling bees?

No, no. I was better at geography bee. I made it to district. In fifth grade, I misspelled the word hearth because I'd never seen it before. You didn't want me on the stage with you during spelling bee season.

I left the E out. Should have put the E in. I agree. I had a tough one one year and I have no excuse for it. Looking back on it, it was the biggest miss I had. I spelled the word Norwegian wrong. I was a little surprised that they were doing proper nouns. Call me crazy?

Is that a thing? Apparently. Norwegian. I left the I out. Yeah. And like I said, we had pieces of paper where you could write it out before. Oh, that's got to help.

I wrote it out before correctly. And then I second guessed myself as i was spelling it and i left the i out really dumb move it's always gonna stick with me i'll never misspell hearth again i tell you that stuck with me man yeah whenever i spell hearth i'm like thank god i know how to spell this they don't know what a hearth is dylan shivery classical chivalry classical instrument it's a harp fuck uh hey man uh really happy to be here had an excellent weekend um but it's gonna be a strong week of podcasting i can tell i can feel it in my plums again really happy to be here do you want to hear some reviews yeah we've gotten some recent reviews my friends okay someone i haven. I haven't looked over these reviews.

So if I say anything offensive to anybody, I'm sorry. Jay Bacon, he said, straight goaded pod. He said, this pod is straight goaded. It's easily my number two favorite, and I famously listen to five podcasts. I'll take that. Will's buttery ad read transitions are firing. My wife is H all the time now, too, because of the vocab I picked up from listening to the pod facts. Man, I wonder what Mr. Bacon has to say about his favorite podcast.

Dude, thank you so much for anointing us as your second favorite podcast. That's so great. At least five stars? Yeah, five stars for sure. You made the man's top five. Dornflake said podcast week was an absolute banger and he said also if there were a d-man draft i'd take dylan first overall oh that's mean okay that's mean that means you might go number two over i should be in there too my last name literally

starts with a d that's true it's a little d though what's this guy's name uh dorn flake fuck you you much like the rangers new prize uh acquisition uh little d kings de grom just a forced sports reference someone said this show gives me ptsd last semester when i was pledging our warden locked us in a closet and played an episode of this show at full volume for us i've been listening ever since we don't condone that this show is the perfect background noise for when i study and makes me a little less and then it cut off so i don't condone that. This show is the perfect background noise for when I study. It makes me a little less, and then it cut off, so I don't know what he actually said after that. No, a little less horny?

It just makes him a little less. It just makes him a worse person. I think the warden actually killed him while he was mid-review. I didn't know they called them wardens in some. It's a lot more ominous. That's some private school shit. Maybe that's skull and bones. Maybe.

Maybe Pacey was the warden. Have you guys watched uh the skulls yet i had a tomorrow's uh stream room episode for patreon i do have that on the docket yes yes on the docket yeah yeah no that's one of my favorite movies the docket yeah no i yeah no i've always said i love that movie what's your favoriteron? Oh, man. It's just been a long time, man. How can you choose? Yeah. Sort of like all the scenes.

I do want to go back and rewatch The Skulls. Well, just know that it's one of those movies, much like The Beach, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, that really peaks in the first third of the movie. What is that scene in The Beach where he turns into a video game character? It's the scene where you realize the movie isn't good anymore. The movie stinks. I know that's probably like very i had so much talked about people were like yeah you know that's like the cliche thing to bring up with that movie but it just stuck with me with how shitty it was yeah just a shit just a total shit and he hooks up with that chick you did hook up

with that chick can't have a leo movie without him doing some fucking well yeah but weirdly in the beach he actually went above his age rather than below his age oh wow not realistic who would have thought you guys have any desire to go to that beach if you're ever over there oh yeah where is it i don't know it looks cool though i know people that have been is that in texas yeah i think it's near port a no it's corpus christi bay oh yeah beautiful hey what what you got we got some shit on sale on uh watch media.shop oh yeah hats 30 off no cap 30 go check it out also we got other stuff on there too uh also not to sound all randy-ish we get other stuff too youtube.com circling back go like and subscribe go like and subscribe at the link below go like

and here i'm pointing to the link on the youtube video right now i'm not i'm not gonna make randy put that in uh but yeah go to youtube.com circling back go like and subscribe also make sure if you if you're a listener on Spotify, leave a five-star review. I think we shouldn't mess around anymore. I think we get right into this. It's time to recap this weekend in fun. This is presented by our friends over at Busy Hard Seltzer. Between gift-giving and family traditions,

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You must be 21 or older. And our good friends at the Molson Coors Beverage Company in Milwaukee, Wisconsin would like to remind you now and always to celebrate responsibly. Dylan, what did you get into this weekend? Oh, thanks for asking, Will. I had a pretty great little weekend. Didn't have the kids for part of it.

Made it for it on Sunday, though. Friday, Bae and I stepped out, had dinner at a little place called Bartlett's. You ever heard of it? No. It's a really good spot. I suggest you go. Really good spot. Enjoyed it.

Saturday, we had a dinner, not really a dinner party, a house party we went to. It was a wild scene. Only way I can really describe it. It was a wild scene. Like animals and stuff? No. Was it at one of those farms that they have in Texas

where there's a bunch of dope-ass animals? We felt out of place because the crowd was like... Eyes wide shut. High society. Naked. I saw that in Masked. Oh, wow. Just kidding.

But we met some outstanding people there. Sounds like it. We felt a bit out of place. Like Jordan Spieth? So much fun, though. Ricky Williams? Jordan Spieth was not there, but it wouldn't surprise me if I just ran into him there. Great time, though.

Roy Williams? Not there either? No, no. And then after that, we stopped by the Austin Proper Bar for a cocktail. Good time, man. Really good time. Wow, look at you guys. I know.

Sunday, day with the homie and his friend. We went to Peter Pan, played some golf. It's a mini golf place here in Austin, for those who don't know. How is that place taken care of? Yeah, have they punched the greens lately? They keep the fairways nice and plush. Driving by it, I always wonder if it's even open. But apparently it's doing well.

Oh, dude. It's always open. Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. It's a fun little spot. What are the greens fees looking like there? I paid for four people, two adults, two kids, 18.

It was 38 bucks. Okay. It's a nice track for 38 bucks. I agree. Yeah. Some different looks. Yeah. The greens rolling nice.

Is that a Foss joint? What was the Stimps looking like? I don't know, man. Can I just get to the rest of my shit? What? Is there anything else? You didn't even watch the World Cup. I didn't because I took Parks and his buddy to mini golf.

You bricked the World Cup? Yeah. Dude, he even liked soccer. I wanted to get him out of the house. It was the greatest World Cup? Yeah. Dude, he even liked soccer. I wanted to get him out of the house. It was the greatest game of all time. That's what I hear. Yeah. Now that you mention that, David,

it was the greatest game of all time. Sunday afternoon, I matched that handyman button and I installed a couple light fixtures. Was Bay running errands or something? I think she's most attracted to me when I'm doing shit around the house. So like once a month?

But she was out with her friends, so she missed the whole thing. But she was happy to see that I had them installed when she got home. What did you install? Two light fixtures outside. Could you hang on them when you were done? They had motion sensors on, which we didn't like.

We liked to just turn the switch on and then be done with it. So I replaced them. It's not as green as having a motion detector. Why didn't you take a photo of yourself sitting on top of one of those lights after you mounted it? Because they were fixed to the ceiling like the one under the carport one right by the front door and you didn't think to get a video of you

swinging from them no i did not how do you know they're secure you probably would you probably couldn't have done it what do you think your carbon footprint is i did i did replace the bulbs with some um very efficient led ones though very efficient cool didn't you see that dj one time at that bar that you didn't invite me to led sound system that's good that's real good it's a joke he's familiar with yeah gosh you were just throwing heaters man it was sick wish i could have been anyway that concludes my my weekend in fun wow what'd that boy get into how do i top that i can't actually because i didn't i didn't really do anything love that that's awesome love that journey for me it's huge for me it's huge for

the brand um big sports weekend we had some um some of the, the hometown teams playing in their games and whatnot. Followed that fairly closely. Snuck a couple workouts in. Damn. Not even going to mention what Lifetime has done. Removed from their repertoire. The heavy bags. Some people were saying, like, you're putting in too much work on those heavies.

And you know what? They might be right. Rest in peace to the heavies, man. They don't want you to box. That's what you learn. Very low key. Got Rhodes loaded up in the vehicle for his ill-timed 10 a.m. soccer Cubs practice.

Got to watch the first half of the World Cup. Got down there. Whole place is shut down. Must've missed an email. No practice. Got home in time to watch the entire second half. You can't have practice. You can't have soccer practice. Did they call it during the world cup? They had to have, but they definitely did not send an email. I'm assuming I Dylan'd it and they send it.

They said something at the practice before and I just missed it. At least that's what my wife thinks. She was like, Dave, you totally Dylan Chivarid this. And I was like, what does that mean exactly? And she's like, well, here's what that means. I don't think I deserve that, Alyssa. What was her explanation? I'll have to talk to Alyssa about this.

She's like, it's just when you're sitting in the bullpen with your head so far up your ass. No, I'm kidding. Okay. No, I beefed it. i straight up beefed it but i got to watch the greatest game of all time some are saying at least in my lifetime greatest footy game for me personally i don't watch a lot of footy will don't think a lot of people would agree with that i don't know y'all's footy up or intake has gone very very far up lately you know i keep it on now that i realize like how many of those guys

just do scummy things, like take the trophies and DX crotch chop it in front of the leaders of Qatar. Pretty sick. Now I'm really kind of in on this sport. These guys just don't care. No filter.

They're scumbags, and I love it. My Friday had an interesting twist, and we're going to get to it. I just want to say that I did something a little bit out of the ordinary for your boy. So, Will, I'm going to let you have this right now. It was just a huge weekend. As everyone knows, my wife went out of town for a couple of days. And so it was just, you know, the weekend was for the boys around the crib. You know how it is.

Oh, yeah. So me and Fritz, man, we're just out here mobbing uh i made him just an absolute bomb ass dinner on friday i put on some some french restaurant music and spoke in my classic french accent the entire time i was really getting prepped for the world cup um did you really do that yeah i did it was fun um and then uh when i put him down i decided to settle in, made a little fire, and I watched a movie. This movie is called The Banshees of Innesheran. Oh, okay.

I've heard about this. Highly recommend watching it. Yeah? Somewhat disturbing at moments. But given that it was the most nominated movie for the Golden Globes, I'm going to say that maybe we should all watch something so we can get a little invested. We can have a horse in this race for the Golden Globes, I'm going to say that maybe we should all watch something so we can get a little invested. We can have a horse in this race for the Golden Globes. What's the setting of this movie?

It's a very, very, very picturesque Irish island. Oh. Yes. What's the era? I don't know, actually, because I can't tell if it's old-fashioned or if the island is simply not with the times. There are no cell phones in it, but, you know, libraries exist. That's true. Bibliotheca.

Yeah. See. I don't know what time it is, to be honest. I was going to say, because if it's like 1890s, it's just... It doesn't... The time does not matter. You're like, you're on an matter. You're on an island. You're on an island.

Shut up, nerd. Yeah. Damn. This dude didn't watch anything from back then. It's crazy. Dave and I just touched feet. It's weird. That's your fault.

Granted, this might have been my fault. It's usually your fault. You're not wearing shoes. Yeah, I know. It's because I wore boots in today. With the fur? No. Oh.

No. But yeah, if you've seen the movie In Bruges with Colin Farrell, you'll enjoy this movie as well. Life and Times of Natalie Imbrugia. Different. Totally different. And then the rest of the weekend, I just spent pretty much tending to my fire and enjoying myself.

I did. I stopped by your... I had to iron a couple of shirts. I stopped by Will's place for half an hour or not even. And it's a very cozy situation. I know. I probably should have.

Dude, I was on my cozy boy shit. I don't have an iron. No, no, no. You don't have an iron? Not anymore. When I moved, I was like, you know, I never use this and I just donated it.

I was kind of wondering when you texted me about needing an iron how you didn't have an iron nor a steamer. Like, do you not have a steamer either? Bay has a steamer, but but i don't like to use steamers i feel like they don't work very well they definitely work really really well i don't know you know what you know you know it's easier than uh driving to your friend's place to use their iron what's that and steaming your shirt it's also more carbon efficient i hate iron i would rather steam

at this point in my life wait i, I... Okay, I'm gonna... The only thing I have to hone in on here. Did you really donate your iron? He threw it out. You threw it out. You threw out your iron, didn't you? I donate... I donate a lot.

Didn't you tie it to a piece of string and then you had some home intruders get smoked in the face with it? When I moved, I donated a lot of stuff. Okay. So I just... It was in a pile. This dude had a lot of stuff at one point sick brag a lot of clothes and um furniture that you know bay was

like this isn't coming to our new place it's like okay you're a recliner yeah i was shocked for you to walk into my place and see that i was watching the vikings colts game oh man yeah i'm a glad i'm a football guy freaking come back ever since i got called out by the dude on listener voicemails, I've just had to step up my game. Yeah. That was a wild game. It was a wild game. Some were calling it a bore.

Last question on the iron. Did you take the iron home in iron, or did you iron at Will's? I did it at Will's. Okay. It's just funny. You can't take another man's iron out of his home no no he came in close for me i appreciate it will i didn't really come in that clutch i responded to your text 30 minutes after you texted me because your boy was sleeping on you panicking no i had time no he was

definitely panicking what were you ironing uh two button-down shirts i needed uh two options for my fit of the night and i used i wore one of them he double layered his button downs for the gala he's gonna say it doesn't a white one and a tan one I went with the tan one weren't you a double collar guy in college with your polo absolutely not also bought him to your shit you hit him with that pink and green yeah we might have some collars there in our time popping collars is cool unless it's a polo shirt. There's nothing better than a pink Lacoste

and just popping that collar. There's a lot better than that. Can we start a podcast called Popping Collars where we read TFM articles from 2005? That's pretty good. Popping collars.

Why do people do that? It's amazing more people didn't get punched in the face. I do it in the cold because it keeps your neck warm. Popping a collar? No, you don't. What are you talking about?

Yes, you do. Are you kidding me? Like a jacket? Oh, yes. Okay, that's different. That's not a polo. Yeah, I'm not doing it with a button-down shirt. That's what we're talking about.

You've got to specify. God. No, if I had to specify that, like, we don't know. Like on the golf course, can do it for to protect from the sun i've done it to protect from the sun that's a that's a valid move that's what they're like actually i would i would simply just put a sunblock on but you know not only not everybody has that on them so no dude a lot of people just aren't like a lot of people just don't have sunblock on them i keep that thing in my bag i don't what they've said nothing i can't get past this iron thing why it's not a big deal i need to iron a shirt i hit up my, I don't. What, Dave? Say it. Nothing. I can't get past

this iron thing. Why? It's not a big deal. I need an iron shirt. I hit up my boy. I just don't know how you don't have one. He lives a mile from me.

It's not a big deal. Did you walk or ride a bike? He's lucky. He almost showed up and woke up Fritz, man, who was just taking a God-tier nap. Had he woken him up

during that nap, it would have been devastating. You know what? It was a good nap weekend for the Rhodes, man. It was very, very helpful. All-time nap vibes all-time nap vibes going on in austin right now this is the nappiest day ever to have to be at work dude i'm like just straight up go home and nap i might nap on this couch out here i'm trying to nap more i need to get more restorative sleep dude i think i went to bed at like 8 p.m last night because i'm different

i didn't have white lotus to keep me up i went to bed pretty early too, but I had a little help, Will. Wow. That dude just – I just did it. He stepped on your toes, but he did it quite well. I mean, if you went to bed so easily and early last night, that means that you had the chance of waking up and being an early bird this morning.

Wow. He just took it back. He took the ball right back. Dude, he stole the rocker out of your hand. Give it right back. Give it right back. Dang, dude. If you're not familiar with early bird gummies, these things are recreational hemp product that contain around two and a half milligrams of natural THC and around 12 and a half milligrams of CBD in each gummy. These are formulated for fun and to make you feel good. I'm going to put my hand up. I'm going to be honest

about something. For the longest time, I was using these a way that uh a lot of people use them in which is to take one chill on the couch enjoy yourself i've started using them closer to bedtime and i have to say i've been sleeping like an absolute rock for the last week i was on my bad boy shit last night i had two okay i had two let me tell you I was on one last night I had a fantastic night and an even better sleep I was watching that was Bay Lane embedded and you just walked into the bedroom

looking like an alien I floated into the bedroom is that why you kept texting about Jared Kushner put on the crown I watched the Giants Commanders game last night like like low-key like a little high and i was just like dude shout out to you watch no world cup but did watch giants come in yeah what's wrong with you i turned i turned off in the third quarter i fell asleep pretty early

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If you've already used a code from us, BACKER is a new code, which means you can actually go use it again. So go use it again at earlybirdcbd.com for 20 off everything on their site earlybirdcbd.com code backer yo let's talk let's talk liquor stores david is this what you were talking about when you did something out of sorts we got a text um will and i i'll go to there you go there you go i didn't want to be the one to do it. We got a text. Love Island. Anyway.

Over my head. Message. It was either Love Island or a Drake lyric. I don't know. Are those the only two things in my bag? Yeah. Is that what you were telling? Kind of.

That's a lot of it. No. I got a text from our buddy. we are in a group what's the what's the name of the group text it's like bourbon boys yeah like the original bourbon boys original fans of bourbon because we were will and i and and our friend ryan we were ground floor bourbon him more so than i guess i'm not in on that you're not you're not you're aren't you in the craft beer one nope oh that's embarrassing you want to be in it we don't have a craft beer text that sounds so pretentious if y'all are talking only bourbon in there then i don't want to be doing i got

something for you i got uh i got some intel on uh a tequila drop okay it's about this is about 3 45 on friday afternoon funny, I was taking a nap. I was trying to get like a 30-minute nap in while Alyssa went to go get our son. Whole squad on their nap shit. So I'm napping. Yeah. And I get this text. Will and I get this.

Oh, yeah. Original Bourbon fans. And he says, apparently Zeke's liquor on Cesar Chavez has fortaleza winter blend today as of about 45 minutes ago i'm not one to get up and go chase something but for some reason this woke me up and i saw it and this is not close to my house this is east side austin a good 20 minutes at best you know so 3 30 rough time i'm a real tequila head so i know what that means but like for those who don't how about you just go ahead and explain like the significance of that exact one it is a very very small batch right um as i found out very hard to come by so i got in

my vehicle gross that's weird i know tequila's supposed to make your clothes fall off. I didn't know it did that, though. All right, keep going, Dan. Yeah, go ahead, David. Damn, this shit's expensive. I didn't even... So I get in my car. For some reason... They ring you up and you're like, what? I got in the car and I just went.

I was just playing, though. Good seeing you. I was like, you know what? I'm going to get it. This is going to be it. I'm out of here. I get there. I got there playing, though. Good seeing you. I was like, you know what? I'm going to get it. This is going to be it. I'm out of here. I get there. I got there in 22 minutes, which is insane.

Going up Mopac, in rush hour, down Chavez, to Zeke's liquor right there. Walk in. Ezekiel Elliott? First thing, that's so stupid. That's so forced. How dare you? What did he lick? How dare you interrupt such an important story?

Dude, Dylan's always interrupting your story bullshit inappropriate comments it's fucking annoying dude god okay what happened there i didn't get it they had two bottles and they were gone at 11. hey but at least you're only five hours late okay you know not on ryan ryan you know he got some intel from the from people on the ground and see this wasn't completely sound, but that's okay. I have a theory. It was the experience. I failed the GTA mission.

If only you got there five hours earlier, you would have gotten there. Yeah. I have a theory. I was here grinding. I think this was him testing us to see if we were real bourbon or tequila heads and just to see if you would actually go do it. Oh, man. This was like a test mission.

So next time there's a real mission out there, he knows that we're're ready to go and if y'all are listening at home beefed it man you ever see me out do not ask me on a straight tequila night don't don't do it that's all i'm gonna say was this a long play to set that joke up it was okay i went to the liquor store this weekend because famously i drink sometimes and i was craving a guinness i could have gone to kelly's irish pub everyone knows the hottest new bar in austin texas but i didn't decide to do that instead i decided to go to the store um and the first store i went to had no guinness so i went to the liquor store and i walked in and there was a long line and i thought to myself rather than waiting this line i'm just going to kind of peruse the store a little bit i had my little four pack in my hands and i went into the bourbon aisle which

had been changed at the place and there was a girl in there and she looked at me and she goes do you drink bourbon she knew you were bourbon and i was like i mean original bourbon fan yeah yeah she goes can you give me some recommendations and i was like uh i no you beefed it no i don't think i can let me ask you a question is there anything about this person's appearance that stands out she was a good-looking girl oh i didn't chunk it because she was good-looking i chunked it because i i reached this fork in the road where it's like, yes, I know a little bit about bourbon, but I don't know that much about bourbon.

When you're in a place of business, should you be asking the other patrons for help? I think it was the beard. You think it was the beard? Oh, wow. Yeah. You got bourbon profiles. Yeah.

Oh, fuck, I did get bourbon profiles. You have bourbon energy. And I told her, I was like was like honestly i feel really bad but like i was like i don't feel i don't feel i don't feel comfortable telling you like i don't know what to do this guy's probably drunk right now but this is like this took me back to the time when i was in this i was in another store close to my place and i was talking to the guy and he goes yeah so do you drink a lot of bourbon and i was like no not like nothing crazy and he was like oh so you're not like a bourbon guy and i was like no and he goes all right well like if you never need anything like i can i can give you some advice and then he started mansplaining like maker's mark to me and i was like okay like i'm

not oh no i'm not that bad like i know i know the difference between the big brands yeah but now i'm like fuck like yeah am i just getting bourbon profile all over the place? You should have passed the ball back to her and be like, well, what do you like? And she's like, what? Okay, and then it buys you a little bit more time to be like, oh, you know, Woodford's something that I really prefer.

Maybe she was flirting with you, dog. I looked at her and I said, well, my wife doesn't like it when I drink bourbon with other people. You are a classic wife guy. Oh, wow, dude, yeah. This guy is married, ladies. I didn't even say anything to her.

I just put my hand up and pointed at my ring. Yeah, back off. Yeah, I'm taking. Back off. Get him some Makers 46, but I'm taking, hun. Will's the Mike Pence of bourbon. He can't speak to women at the liquor store unless she's present. I have a binder full of liquors.

Oh, I got that binder not women sorry i'm just i'm gonna leave that's funny man but like what he's really leaving what like whatever i wouldn't have known what to say either i would just be like yeah i'm really not that like well do you know do you know what my bigger fear was than anything having one of the guys that worked at the store hear me recommend something to her and then have me walk out and then the guy be like, hey, so by the way, no, no, no. That's garbage. We're not doing that.

That's piss water. Because like what if I was like, yeah, get him a bottle of Blanton's and she's like, okay, I wasn't going to spend like this much money on him. Do you like Jim Beam? Yeah. I told her, I was like, yeah. You ever heard of this Red Stag stuff? It's Jim Beam with cherry in it made by Kid Rock.

It's the best one out there. My friend Nick loves it. I wish you would have just said like the most expensive, hard to find thing. Like a Blanton's. Blanton's is probably that, right? I thought you could find Blanton's places, no? I gave up. I've pivoted to tequila as you guys are aware.

It is on Yeho season. Yeah. My dream is for someone to approach me in a liquor store asking for advice instead of the other way. You should grow a voluminous beard. The mustache is probably more craft. What's the mustache? What is it giving? Is it giving craft?

Oh, what is the mustache giving? Mustache guy reeks of like smug IPA, overly knowledgeable. I don't know if you're IPA though. I almost feel like you're smug, like stout guy. Yeah. That's something I would wear proudly. Like a dark heavy cold season beer. That's what it's giving.

That's what it's giving? I hate that phrase so much. What's the beard giving? Bourbon guy. Clearly. Dude, I'm the original bourbon guy. Yeah. I'm going to make...

What does really shitty beard give? What is that? Is there... You know how they have the AI app that does everything, makes the photos of Brett and stuff? Do you think they have one that I can upload myself to and it'll be all Archer photos? I'm looking for a new profile pic maybe no you need to just archify yeah you need to pay someone to do it we can't let these machine take our jobs yet

yeah does anyone know any of the illustrators from archer i'd love a custo don't call it a custom why dude it's like a cameo it's the same but it's the archer guys drawing me so i can have a bourbon centric account let him cop a custom dog did you hear i got a friend of the show jake pointed this out on his show the hang zone uh it's apparently a thing with canadian players, maybe just hockey players. They call Gatorade Gato. Like, yeah, Gato, man. It's like you can't just say Gatorade. Gato.

Yeah, we need to fill up on some Gato. Yeah, Dylan's not going to wear this one out. That's not fucking sick. Custo. Custo's egregious. At least Gato cuts out syllables. Custo doesn't do that at all. But it sounds doper. Let him get a Custo. Dude, it's Custo doesn't do that at all. But it sounds doper.

Let him get a Custo. Dude, it's Custo. Will pulls up in his all-Custo Subaru. Yeah, dude. They called me General Custo back in the day. Wow. No one. Literally no one. Untimely demise. That's what I've been saying. That's facts. It just makes me think of, I think you should

leave Haunted House skit. They met their unt in timely demise. And then you know how the rest goes. I wonder what that guy's doing. I don't know. Probably not much. Okay. You don't know that.

You're right. I have no reason to say that. He might be doing a lot. Look him up. Hold on. Let's stop the show. Look it up as IMDB. No, it'll take me a while to find it.

I don't want to do that right now. Can we talk about Panera real quick? Huh? Can we talk about Panera real quick? Yeah, they're opening for Metallica. Oh, you mean the worst? No desire to go see them. The worst.

Have you seen the ticket package that you can get for Metallica this year, David? Saw them at ACL. I have no desire to see them again. They have. They were good. They have tickets at their concerts at their is it like their final tour or something what's going on i'm sure they're doing what everyone does and billing it as their final tour yeah they'll probably add another next year they'll

probably add another night in san francisco um they are they have a thing they have a circle stage metallica and inside that circle is a place where fans can stand called the Snake Pit. And it's your own, it's like your own custom Metallica experience. Do you have any desire to get Snake Pit tickets with me, Dylan? That sucks. I feel like that would be awesome. Dude, but it's called the Snake Pit. If I was more into Metallica, I actually did go through a minor Metallica phase back in

the day. So like you're getting like Lars' back sweat on you? Yeah, that's sick. If you're a big Metallica phase back in the day. You're getting Lars' back sweat on you? Yeah, that's sick. If you're a big Metallica head. You get signed set lists and stuff like that. You get a meet and greet in the back. That's sick. I hear Lars will even spit in your mouth if you

pay enough. Just Lars. The other guys won't do it. Just tell them you supported Napster. Yeah, they're not fans of that. No. No, but I actually wasn't talking about Pantera. I was actually talking about Panera. I'm sorry. The restaurant.

The worst restaurant of all time. So apparently a lot of people have been working from Panera during the pandemic and work from home. Apparently it's a pretty easy place to work. Apparently the booze, they're quite spacious. Not a lot of foot traffic because it sucks. And they have free refills. I guess Wi-Fi.

It does suck. I've heard the lighting's decent. Like, I've actually heard that as far as, like, restaurants to work in, Panera's actually one of the better ones. You know what? Now that you're mentioning it, I don't want to work in a restaurant that has really, really good food. No.

I want to bang on the drum all day. Why would you want your restaurant to be the type that's, like, work-friendly like that? I don't think they do. I think it's just naturally. Oh, yeah. Please sit here for five hours and drink one cup of coffee yeah that's why i never get my coffee shops like i went into a coffee shop the other day and there were no tail i was in there for over an hour and there was never an opening to sit anywhere yeah i i said it i sat at this bar

seat that was really uncomfortable just waiting and hoping that somebody would get up no one got up the entire time and i'm pretty sure about three transactions happened in that coffee shop that's not good business it's just weird uh but apparently they have iced tea that is just straight up meth when it comes to the caffeine intake that you're getting oh a video went viral of a young lady who didn't realize this was happening she's not a noted coffee drinker but she's kind of talking like a chipmunk that did adderall um and then it started a whole twitter discourse of people just being like oh yeah i've been there i've done that give me the give me the nutritional values in the beverage of choice here um okay so here's what we're dealing with david the uh the the iced tea the charged lemonade that they're talking about is the mango yuzu citrus.

Okay? Mango yuzu citrus. That is not a Vizzy flavor. Also have a strawberry lemon mint, which is not featured in the video. That sounds quite tasty. Yeah. There's a lot of sugar in these. I think the smallest serving size has 80 grams of sugar.

88 maybe. Okay. 80 something. Okay. Yeah, this is definitely giving sugar. Yeah, it's definitely giving unhealthy. 80 something. Okay.

This is definitely giving sugar. Yeah, it's definitely giving unhealthy. And a 30 fluid ounce of this is 530 calories with 390 milligrams of caffeine. So what is... 390 is equivalent to like... 390. 390. It's a 30 ounce. This is the large version.

That's a big boy. Okay. So I'm currently sipping on some bing bong from our fridge cold brew and this stuff is gas to me 180 milligrams caffeine right that's a lot yeah a cup of coffee's got 95 in it so that you're essentially drinking four cups of coffee and the young lady in the video she drinks like three of these she sounds unwell and she's not she says she's not a coffee drinker so she's not used to like large amounts of caffeine intake so this is just absolutely lighting her up when you order this from panera can you make any mods or

can you get it gusto dude it's one of those places that you just walk up and you just fucking put your put your glass under i'm sure you could do a custo and get all three. Okay. A suey? Oh, no. That actually is quite literally a suey. A charged suey? Yeah, you might actually die. It's like the best eight minutes of your life,

and then you explode. I have a theory that I once overdosed on caffeine, which is why I will not try this. There's no way. Dude, I think I did, David. I think I did. So she has three of these she's she's flirting with a thousand milligrams well that's a real disservice to all the people who have overdosed on caffeine i had so much caffeine that i broke i was breaking out in a sweat i was having a a mild panic attack. And then for the rest of the... My stomach couldn't take any food

for three days after that. It was not good, Dave. You should just make that your Sunday Scaries origin story. It was that Sunday that just put it all into existence. No, ever since that day, I've not drank nearly as much caffeine as I used to. I've significantly toned down

how much I've had to drink because it messed me up for three straight days. don't like it it hurt my tum tum you still on your bing bong dude what's up with people coming at my tum tum you gotta your tum tum is easy i know but like if someone is down bad like physically like the last thing i do is be like oh dude it's probably a tum tum looking at the camera right there okay looking and talk to those people that are doing what you said what whatever you said the ones who are being mean to you but you want to stop being mean no say you guys say hey stop coming let them know that it's stop coming at my tum tum let them know it's hurting your feelings man it's not funny it hurts my feelings stop coming at my tum tum

it's weird man people listen to podcast are usually so nice to us. I got to say, you're giving courage right now. Thank you. Thank you. I might celebrate this victory. At a Panera? At a Panera, drinking a mango yuzu citrus. On the label there on the machine says it's plant-based and clean.

It just doesn't feel like it's that clean. Yeah, I just don't think it is. Nothing that's ever been put into one of those at any restaurant anywhere is clean. Yeah. I'm supposed to make Grinch punch for Parks' Christmas party. You hate the Grinch. I know. I volunteer to make the punch, though.

You hate the Grinch. Okay. I'm still making the punch. You should make Rudolph punch. Should I? And make it red. I might just go bring a big tub and a panera and light up on this shit. You should do that.

Let's see what these kids act like after drinking 400 milligrams of caffeine. Student was always making donkey punch in college. I don't know. No, it wasn't. David. David was making PPD all the time. Pink panty droppers? I wasn't going to No, it wasn't. David. David was making PPD all the time. Pink panty droppers? I wasn't going to say it.

So creepy. Yeah, but I feel like girls make pink panty dropper punch more than guys do. Guys aren't sitting around like, dude, let's make some pink panty dropper. We made it for every single party. Oh, I felt like anytime it was ever served anywhere, the girls were making it. 30 Keystone Lights or Natty Lights. Handle of vodka and two to the pink lemonade country time pink lemonades I think that that ship had sailed by the time we got there we made it for every single

party were you guys there at the same time we not really oh yeah I got a little famously older yeah there was only one year of him just beating the shit out of me yeah yeah it was a long year look at what i learned from it yeah he turned out better for it yeah yeah you got you low-key kind of shaped him i i hazed the wuss out of him fuck my face up pretty good yeah you still look way different yeah so this chick alive yeah if anyone out there i think somebody at the company should go finish one of these tell us how you feel narrowbread is so bad that i low-key judge people who go there i haven't been fair it's like everyone's everyone's wife and sister goes there but i feel like we've gotten to the point now where it's just a it's just a punch line for people but they're still in business

people still go there's probably something there that is good. I just haven't had it. There's not. Don't they do a chicken sandwich now? Yeah, it's trash. Have you had it? There's no way you've had it. The last time I went there, I got a grilled chicken sandwich. They have a fried one. Open up the bun. This is all a little too convenient. 15% of the bun was...

There's no chicken coverage. Dylan says the last time he went, he got the exact thing that you say might be good. It all seems a little sus to me. And it was trash. What year was it? What were you wearing? It's been probably eight years since I've been.

I feel like I went with the TSM girls one time. I haven't been to Panera. There's one right by my house. I haven't been in years. There's no reason to, David. Unless you want to hit that Yuzu. Yeah. That's that Yuzu button, dog. Should we do it for a bit? Like how

long? Like five minutes? Like go eat there? Or go get a Yuzu? Go get a Charged Lemmy. Just go in, get a Charged Lemmy, leave. Kind of do like a Wisdom Teeth style video where y'all put the camera in my face and I'll slur in my words. I'm not doing all that sugar, leave. Kind of do like a wisdom teeth style video where y'all put the camera in my face and I'll slur in my words.

I'm not doing all that sugar, dog. I'm more concerned about the sugar than I am about the caffeine. Not your boy. You know your boy can handle caffeine, Dave. Not your boy. Right. Had a lot of caffeine today.

Just saying. This is my third cup of beanball. I was trying to get a firm answer on what the OD number is for caffeine. How much caffeine to overdose? It is very rare. Let's see. I don't fucking know. Does overdose mean it could kill you?

That kind of bad? I think I just had a very adverse reaction to a very significant amount of caffeine that triggered a a reaction that i'd never had before it was not good even sally says like she's like i've never seen you down that bad oh this is recently yeah yeah it was at a i was at a wedding i drank the coffee late in the day because i needed to get pumped up for the wedding uh pre-party spoiler alert needed to get pumped up for the wedding pre-party. Dude, you had to be careful. Spoiler alert.

I didn't make it to the wedding. You had to be careful with your TomTom issues. Dude, it's big, dog. It's big. You think I don't know that? Hey, the other day, we had bread on here. We roasted him. Mm-hmm.

It feels right. You know, I felt bad for roasting him. It wasn't because of his fits. It wasn't because of his Mondos. It was actually because he uses artificial intelligence to make profile photos. profile photos he's putting real artists out of business yes yes famously just a crim yeah big shouts to crim dude we respect real artists out there much like crim and uh we are artists because but because i felt bad about brad i was like you know i'm gonna look into more of this ai stuff and so i stumbled across the new heat in the AI world, which is chat GPT. You guys familiar

with this? I'm very familiar. I'm low key familiar, not like super high key. It's a bot that you can talk to and you can ask it questions. Where do I find this bot? Is it an app? What's going on here? Yeah, no, it's a website. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't uh but if you go to chat.openai.com slash chat and create an account you can use this is this open source is it behind a paywall is it web 3 i don't know what web 3 is they've stuck on web 2 look at them dude i'm old school man i'm web 2 i don't know what that is you don't know what 3 is i i i asked it today to write an intro for today's podcast. Can I read this intro for today's podcast?

Yes. Welcome to the Three White Guys podcast. Come on. Where three middle-aged white dudes come together to bring you a unique brand of offbeat humor and irreverent commentary on the world around us. Whether we're discussing the latest news, sharing embarrassing personal stories, or simply cracking each other up, there's never a dull moment when these three friends get together.

So sit back, relax, and join us as we navigate the absurdity of modern life with a healthy dose of self-deprecating humor and absurdity. It really feels like this thing listened to like 20 episodes of ours. Like this is not the worst thing I've ever read with the

three white guys welcome to the three white guys podcast well with the first podcast to be three white dudes whether we're discussing the latest news sharing embarrassing stories or personal stories or simply cracking each other up like that's us dude that do be facts i don't like this this is putting a lot of podcast reviewers out of work so here's my question like i don't care for it i agree dave yeah we that's true we can't be putting copywriters and stuff out of work that's right this is gross what about kids like can when parks discovers this is he just gonna be able to go and like use it and say like hey write a book report at a fourth grade level for grapes of wrath it would probably be some kind of uh like tracking software that'll find the source of it if

i don't know man you don't know this will but i'm a big steinbeck guy dude i i also read grapes of wrath i got in trouble for terrible book what hated it dude what dude i'm not big on joe i'm not big about reading about like the great depression and shit there's a video recently it is a bum he is a yeah there's a video that i saw last week of this kid doing his math homework and he was sitting next to um alexa and he was just asking her questions and the parent like was around the corner like filming him cheat via alexa on his math homework i saw i saw a similar video um but it's not gonna be a real the guy was in college and he was sitting next to alexis alexis texas it was you and there was a guy in the corner with a camera well what else was

going on they were just doing flash cards wrestling oh flash cards the way they call them huh they're going through the multiplication tables. Oh, yeah? You're so horny, dude. What's six times nine? You don't know shit about me. It's four times 20. What's up?

That's so stupid. What's good? That's so stupid. Yeah, I mean, I've messed around with this chat thing. It's kind of scary. Yeah. It's kind i've messed around with this chat thing it's kind of scary yeah it's kind of scary i want to mess with it a little bit are you guys worried though about about it taking our jerbs is it okay if they came up with the software where we could just have it listen to the last however five years of podcast we've done it would take our voices it

would take our man it would take our opinions it would take our brains it would take everything into account and then what if we just fed it like hey panera iced tea story and then it spit out our voices talking about it like what is that a bad thing for us or is that like kind of the greatest thing of all time for us i don't know should we come up with this software i don't think i think it might be over our heads but what if what if like what if we had listeners who were like man i wish that we could have them talk about this and then they could type it in we had we had like circling back gpt and then it would spit out a podcast based on whatever they wanted like a custo version yeah it was like what like hey i want to learn about leonardo's 16th chapel but i want them to talk about it i want circling back guys to fill me in and then they get their own custom podcast

what if we what if we reveal that this entire episode has been ai what if we don't exist randy seems to have a problem with this he's making some faces yeah his gerb is on the line oh yeah his gerb is on the line oh yeah his gerb is on the line oh tough day to be randy you better learn what randy learn how to animate buddy i know that you said 16th chapel but i think you also got michelangelo wrong i know the 16th was on purpose but i don't think that what artist did he say leonardo but we all knew what he was talking about somehow a renaissance yeah there was someone out there in their car just nodding along like, that's a good idea.

I would love a Custo circling back. We obviously don't know the full story there. I'm just saying. Ninja Turtles, man. Dave? Are you afraid about your gerb, Dave? Yeah, every day. Damn, I'm sorry.

Every day I lose a little bit more of my fastball. Yeah, well. It's just part of getting older. Damn. I think you're still hot. Call you Cliff Lee. Yeah. You're still throwing gas.

Nice Cliff Lee reference. Thank you. He was an absolute staple on my fantasy team. He's a good trade. I got him in a keeper league for $1. He had a really good like three years. Yeah. I rode that wave until it was over. I think you're dimin keeper league for $1. He had a really good three years. Yeah. I rode that wave until it was over.

You're diminishing him. Really good. He got slightly nice. I mean, he was goaded in Cleveland for a little bit, right? Pretty good, man. He made his way down to Arlington, didn't he? Oh, yeah. Got us to the World Series.

Oh, yeah. Didn't work out. Went back. Don't you guys have a new player? Didn't work out. Add me on the group. Didn't you guys add? Add me on the't you guys add yeah yeah he's been getting a lot of play this epi little d king like you he's a little d king not a lot of us out there yeah

yeah that's very cool i'm also a liquid iv king right we all are i'll be honest i let loose a little bit on saturday night I had three glasses of wine, woke up the next day, had a little hangover. Not a big hangover, a little headache, but I could just tell, you know what? Well, you know what would solve everything right now? Peak hydration levels. And so what I did, and I do this whenever I feel a little dehydrated, whether it's just because I've been traveling, haven't been drinking a lot of water. Maybe it's just harder to spot those moments of dehydration because it's not as hot out and I'm not sweating as much. But whenever I feel that way, I mash that liquid IV button. Liquid IV was a big player for me this weekend as I got into one on Saturday. I took a preemptive one before I went out and then

one the next morning and it really saved my whole weekend. I brought some liquid IV into the office today. Not all heroes wear capes. Some of them give pottery. And I realized that I had left my favorite flavor in the pile that I brought in for everybody at the office. Your fave flavor? Yeah. And so I saw that Concord grape and I was like, that's for daddy. And I brought it to myself. If you're not familiar with liquid IV, it's time you become familiar. One stick of liquid IV in 16 ounces of water hydrates you two times faster and more efficiently than water alone. It contains five essential vitamins, B3, B5,

B6, B12, and vitamin C. And it's got three times the electrolytes of traditional sports drinks. Hey, Gato, get out of here. It's liquid IV time, baby. It's good, man. It's made with premium ingredients and they're on a mission to change the world. To date, they've donated over 25 million servings

in 50-plus countries around the world. It's pretty amazing. Grab your Liquid IV in bulk nationwide at Costco or get 20% off when you shop better hydration at liquidiv.com and use promo code CIRCLINGBACK at checkout. That's 20% off anything with code CIRCLINGBACK at liquidiv.com. We've got some news out australia dude what is going on dylan and i famously have been watching love island australia but that's not what we're doing we're not doing a full recap part of that how do you feel about the way they say the word here

how do they say it yeah yeah yeah they do kind of do that i i like an australian accent for some reason i think a lot of people do yeah there's something about it australia puts out the most wild ass vibes to me in terms of like the way that the people are i just feel like they're all wild down there yeah they are all well we should go to australia it's the impression that i get well yeah it's australian for beer yeah they say here in beer very similar bia bia here have a bia australian for bia um yeah it turns out there's spinach down there it ain't a sad salad my friends oh excuse me apparently their spinach is making people uh

hallucinate a little bit get a little weird let's fucking go is this pesticide driven i don't know it says australians urged to not seek out spinach products for recreational high it says a warning comes after more than 130 people who ate a range of contaminated fresh food items suffer symptoms including hallucinations and delirium hallucination dilated pupils rapid heartbeat flushed face flushed face is not. You ever had a flushed face? I'm sure you have. Yeah. I've had a swirly or two in my day.

Oof. It's the worst. Not ideal. Remember Popeye? He'd just make his arms just so big. Dude, Dave and I were watching a video the other day about how different Popeye is. That was a good video. You watched a video about how different Popeye is.

Dude, he's different. There's a lot of iron in spinach. Popeye, he was building an. There's a lot of iron in spinach, so. Popeye was, he was building an entire like steamship on his own. Yeah, he did build a steamship famously

in that clip. Dude, he's always puffing on that hooter too, man. Always. Yeah, he stayed high. Just toking away and eating spinach. Crazy.

Just hollering at olive oil. Dude, his forearms. Yeah. Yeah. Looked like a dude on a business trip. He looked like one of those dudes uh from other countries who inject their muscles with uh like vegetable oil or whatever the shit they do

what is that you can i don't know you ever seen those guys vegetable oil not not literally but it's some kind of like oil that they they pump their arms with so it's like makes the muscles look huge when it clearly looks fake it's really so it's like makes the muscles look huge when it clearly looks fake it's really stupid it's like how baseball guys shave their forearms that's a little different i might start similar just that i might start shaving mine i might go full i might go full like nothing for 2023 damn zaddy i'm gonna. I'm going to come in here slick. Ooh. Call me Slip and Slide.

I'm not going to call you that. I'm not either, man. No offense. Well, apparently a lot of this lettuce was getting some circulation in various stores there, and they're telling people not to eat it. I mean, you got to at least try it, right? If you have some of this contaminated lettuce.

Just silently and secretly just take it off shelves. You can't tell people not to take the stuff or eat the stuff because it's going to get them high. Everyone is going to run to the store and buy it immediately. Yeah. Like what? What are you doing? Just take it down. Yeah.

Like, oh, dude, don't get this drug that costs $2.39 at the grocery store. All they had to do was say severe tum-tum issues. And people would have been like, ah, man. All right. Well, that's where I draw the line. Not worth it. But they left that out. They concluded everything but that.

Will would have made himself a whole salad out of it. He's destroyed his tum-tum. Come on. Big lettuce needs to figure their shit out. Seriously. There's always something with lettuce, dog. There's always a recall on lettuce. How are they not doing this like they need a different word for

it than a recall like what a rake hole okay we're doing we're doing a givey backy that's that's not gonna work a givey backy yeah it just sounds less aggressive. That ain't it, man. Sorry. I keep getting distracted by this Salt Bae messy video that every time I check trending, that's all I'm seeing. Salt Bae was probably on a heater after he met you, and he salted your fries. I think he's been riding that wave ever since. Nachos.

Nachos. I'm sorry. I chose. He salted your shows. He's thought's been riding that wave ever since. Nachos. Nachos. I'm sorry. I chose. He salted your shows. You think he's thought about that since? And then. Yeah. And then he just, that wave came to a crushing end when he just got denied by Messi.

He's like, hey, who's the big, at this moment, who's the biggest star on the planet? You know what? I'm going to grab his arm repeatedly until he acknowledges me. Okay. Just because he's salt bae, you you should have that kind of access to these guys i agree what's he doing on the field yeah the pitch sorry wow everyone was mad in correcting you yeah yeah i mean it's pretty it's pretty aggressive to assume that the most famous player in the world wants to talk to you after winning

the most famous trophy does he uh salt bae that is does he talk to people i don't know because you know his bits like he doesn't he doesn't talk i'm sure i'm sure if lionel messi wanted to talk to them talk to him he would do that honestly didn't even look at me lionel messi's like hey salt bae he just pulls out the scene i didn't even tell y'all he no look salted me how do you know he didn't have? He no-look fake salted. He was facing straight ahead and just hit me with the no-look nacho salt. How do you leave that part out?

Yeah, you fucked that up. I don't know. You beefed the story. Maybe I added a little bit to it just for fun. He no-look salted you for content purposes. That should be in your Twitter bio. Salt Bae wants no-look salted my chips. I don't want to be this. I'm already the salt in my chips. I don't want to be this.

I'm already the meatloaf guy. I don't want to be the Salt Bae air nacho guy. Do y'all get texts once a month from people? Yeah. About? Yeah? Sorry. Let me articulate.

Do y'all get texts once a month about being on the food channel? It happened the first couple years after. Yes. Now it's like one a year. You guys were much more visible than I was in that segment. I swear to God, once a month I get a text that's like a screenshot from my mom being like, hey, blah, blah, blah. Texted and asked if you're on the Food Channel.

Yes, I'm on the Food Channel once in a while. Yeah. I eat chili. That's us. I still get NFL Network at times. I knew when they designated me the chili guy and they gave you guys these short the you knew it was your 15 minutes i was like okay i need to i need to come up big because like they're they're giving me the chili and we're in texas yes please

yeah there it is yeah y'all had that like short rib sandwich or something it was dank though yeah that's a good restaurant yeah 24 diners under never go there parking lot's limited but it's a good restaurant i would love to go there some night after getting hammered with you guys. It's fine. Don't only eat at steak houses. It's really good. It's fine. It's good.

I would like to go there drunk sometime. I've never been drunk, and I think it'd be fun to go there and eat a giant meal when hammered. You never got all fucked up and ate meatloaf? I mean, not there. I have. It's not a drunk food I usually turn to. Meatloaf. Just a loaf of meat in your belly. I love it. Not there. I have. It's not a drunk food I usually turn to. Meatloaf. Just a loaf of meat in your belly.

I love a brick of ground beef before going to bed. Just slopping it up. Slop up my loaf. I order it rare. Really? I like just the edges browned. That's the thing about me. Ground beef,

I need it cooked all the way through. Like, I don't want any pink in there. Pink's my favorite color. Pink is the color of passion. Is that true? I don't know. I'm just quoting Aerosmith. Okay.

That's one thing that the chat bot left out. It's just a random song lyric from 1994. Yeah. It should have had some just really bad references. They're still working out the kinks. They'll get there. Is it time? For what? For Brett's breaking news?

We're bringing in the bullet? Carry on my Brett Merriman. I'm calling the bullet. it is time for breaking news he's right-handed right i don't know is he right does he know that it's time to do his break i mean he's been texted there he is oh there he is wow dude there's there's that wow dude dude he's is he bricking his entrance into the studio this is a guy a lot going on yeah what's just happened randy's dropping yeah did someone dump a trash can out in front of the studio before you walked in?

We need a lot of help. Did someone lay marbles down by the entrance? Oh, man. Hey. Yeah, the paint can didn't hit him in the head like we planned. What's up? Hey, man. Hey, dude.

How are you? I'm good. Dude, we're on the streets and you're going to break some news. Brick some news? No, break. Oh, you shouldn't have done that. Brett's bricking news is good. You weren't going to do it.

Now you did it. You gave that to us yourself. Why would you do that? That's Brett's Christmas gift to us. Brett's giving brick. Merry Christmas. Do you guys want to go Arctic Blasts, Florida Man, or Fleetwood Mac? Ooh.

It's stew season. We've been talking about it. So let's just go Arctic Blasts, man. Arctic Blast. This Thursday and Friday, are you guys aware of the weather that's emerging? We're going to have the first cold Christmas since maybe I was alive in Texas. Oh, it is going to be cold, cold. Uh-oh.

Friday morning. Looks like we're getting single digies in the Austin area. Let's go. Cover your pipes, Dylan. Cover your plants,id already covered dave doesn't he doesn't have a good track record with his succulent in the stew yeah knowing you those those plants are toast at your house dude dave i had a lot of faith in your succulent well i was getting light cocked hey how about i think dude actually we didn't talk about that enough dylan was taking a lot of the light for his man how about you give

me a little credit for keeping mine pristine? Keeping succulents alive is pretty easy. It's much easier to shame someone for killing it, you know, like Dave, than it is to stand someone for keeping it alive. Sorry, Brett. No, you're good. Keep going. Dylan, you had a point.

No, I was going to say, the other day, Dave took his plant to the windowsill here to get some extra light. You took yours to the wall? Next day, he walked over to it, and he picked up the plant, and it was not even attached to the dirt anymore. It was just laying on top of the dirt, dotting the doornail. It was really funny. Is there any chance that Dylan has been sabotaging your suck?

Oh, poisoning. I actually thought about poisoning Dylan's, but then I thought it to be on us. You're going to call into the Paul Feinbaum show and tell him that you did Dylan suck? That's the ref I was going to make. Sorry. Tumor's Corner. I just make SEC football references all the time. I've been slowly poisoning it.

It means more. Anyway, Friday, your boy's supposed to head up to the northeast for Christmas. There's like 60 mile an hour wind gusts for Buffalo where I'm supposed to be landing i think there'll be some lake effects now well my point is i think i need to move my flight yeah the cancel i also have concerns regarding my flight to northern michigan where our lake

effects snow is another cold place uh we're leaving saturday you should be okay okay that'd be good that'd be preferable what are your other options for airports? Can you find like Pittsburgh or something? No. Fuck. I mean, I have to move the day. The whole Northeast is, it's Friday being a heavy travel day is going to be an absolute shit show. That's why I'm trying to get ahead of it. So I'm either going to have to go, I have to go Thursday.

Are you saying you need another day off? Yeah. Wow. Well, I can try to do something Thursday night. Ideally. I hope you can make that happen. I'm trying. I'm trying. Anyway,

because of this cold, you may be familiar, Dylan, with Florida. I've heard of it. There was an official falling iguana warning. Oh, I've heard about these iguanas. It's falling iguana season. You heard about this, Daveas season you're about this day yeah they freeze and they fall and do they hit do they hit wires they hit on their way down they hit power lines and people are without power in florida because of falling iguanas when this

happens yeah they've had they've had it happen three times in one city this year that's wild yeah like like some like i think one iguana took out some power and it was out for like three days what is the uh in florida what is the iguana's predator oh i don't know birds birds of prey i don't know if they're an invasive species the boa constrictor dave you think so maybe maybe other iguanas that seems like a waste of the boas' strength for an iguana. Gators. Yeah, I mean hawks, owls, snakes, even humans. Ooh. You ever tried fried iguana? For boots.

Yeah. That's why they fall, because they get so fried. They're just like... That's not it. Welcome to Wilmont. Do you have iguanas at Wilmont? Yeah. They chillmont? Yeah. They chill sometimes?

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Tide takes care of them, though. Keep an eye out. Tide takes care of them. Yeah, we feed them spinach. They've been acting funny lately.

It's a callback, Brett. Yeah, it's good, man. I'll listen to the episode. Anyway, yeah. Makes for a funny video on twitter and and by the way psa if you see a falling iguana on friday in florida they are alive please leave them alone until they warm up yeah can you thaw them out you take them inside and put and put them by the fire honestly yes dude that'd be sick they're warm-blooded i would love to see one get thawed

out i've seen gators do this too they'll'll stick their head. Like you'll see a frozen pond and you'll see just the snout through the ice. And they're just hibernating basically. Yeah, they're in a state of what? Like a catatonic state? Yeah. They come back to life. They spring back to life when they thaw out. Pretty much.

Literally. Yeah. Just like Austin Powers. Remember that? Shagadelic, baby. Yeah, exactly. Smashing, baby. One million dollars.

Movie quotes. Yep. shagadelic baby yeah exactly smashing baby one million dollars movie quotes yep i just felt uh texas dives unsubscribed holy shit you forgot to mention the earthquake oh earthquake king sorry brett i brett no that was like the the biggest thing on friday yeah i think so oh my god i was at my house i was on the couch. And I swear to God, I feel the whole house like dipped twice. It like went down, up, down, up. The wine glasses that we have hanging from our bar cart were like clinking together. What did that cost you? Yeah. It's from Target, actually.

You got a bar cart that has hanging wine glasses? Sheesh. It's really not fancy. Again, from Target. Anyway, I texted the squad. actually you got a bar cart that has hanging wine glasses sheesh it's it's really not fancy again from target anyway i texted the squad i said like no bullshit did y'all feel like a little minor earthquake i still want to i still want answers on what what the hell was going on i gave you a straight up answer in midland yes and we could have felt it here possibly there was also an earthquake and there was a big earthquake there's a 4.0 in california this weekend these tectonic plates be moving dog they're really 5.4 yeah how come i

didn't hear any about any other booty chatter from anyone at all i literally told you in the text did you i didn't feel it earthquake twitter will will said no i didn't feel it but i'm built different so i don't know if that was really that helpful i'm like a cat dude so it was an earthquake shake me dude dave i spelt that shit 5.3 the reports that has been felt in san antonio austin lubbock i think even fort worth britney thinks i'm i was like high she does not believe based on how much she's like there's construction a few houses down like that britney i'm telling you to be honest if this happened to me in texas i'd be I would just immediately think like, damn, some construction job just went south.

Can you send me that link, Davey? I want to rub it in Brittany's face. She's going to hate this. What you guys do behind. Yeah. Oh, my God. Why didn't Will fill it? Why did you say?

I was doing a massage. I mean, it was. I'm different. It was fairly minor. I was very still, very comfortable in my couch, and I just felt like a little dip situation. Probably from mineral mining. Well, that's weird, because usually when you dip, I dip, we dip. That's exactly what I was very still, very comfortable in my couch, and I just felt like a little dip situation. Probably from mineral mining. Well, that's weird, because usually when you dip, I dip, we dip. That's exactly what I was thinking.

I'm thinking this is probably saltwater injection well. I know nobody wants to talk about that in Texas. I thought you said it was an earthquake. Yeah, via saltwater injection well, fracking process. I thought it was a plate shifting. I'm anti-fracking. Ever hear about these fault lines? Hey, I'm slacking this to you.

What'd they do? Who slacked me? Fault. We're not bringing that to the pod. Boom. I can't believe I felt an earthquake in Austin, in my house. Happened to me once in Oklahoma City, maybe twice. Why are you trying to cut my earthquake story?

I'm not. I'm just saying. It is scary because I didn't know. Dude, Dave, my earthquake story? I'm not. I'm just saying. It's scary. It is scary because I didn't know. Dude, Dave, that's hella interesting, dude. My bed started shaking. Dude, daddy was straight shaking. Are you sure that was the earthquake? Trust me. Oh, I can't wait. Brittany's gonna

fucking lose her shit over this. I was a part of an earthquake in California one time. It was in traffic. Not the movie. Just in traffic. Dude movie oh just in traffic dude i felt it dave the dip thing scares me i never felt that it would like when it felt the house shifted like inch and a half down up down up i like how you have a precise an inch and a half down because it was like yeah that's how it felt man it was weird it's like ride the wave facts

i feel vindicated this feels i'm not crazy dave dave vindicated you on friday he said midland no he said no i read it but i didn't think it would i didn't make i just like okay midland that's kind of far away right yeah i think i can actually feel that but have you ever seen the butterfly effect oh yeah it's kind of like that but with earthquakes i feel like it's not i don't know man yeah it's a little different so what happened with fleetwood mac ashton kutcher you familiar with the uh with the song dreams will i'm familiar with the girl band dream i love you not do you remember a couple years ago when this guy uh he went viral on tiktok for riding a skateboard to to dreams oh yeah i don't think he would have gone as viral

if people weren't uh like locked in their homes the entire time but yeah i do remember this this is the tiger king thing did he die tiger king am i about to feel really bad riding around a skateboard showing a bottle of uh raspberry yeah it was a swag video happy ending or sad ending uh well he was arrested on marijuana possession oh come on let the guy burn yeah so uh he by the way appeared in like multiple uh videos smoking weed super bowl commercial i think too just with snoop dog uh because he goes by dog face dog face yeah so he was arrested on uh on uh but posted bail on one two misdemeanor counts excuse me marijuana possession and possession of drug paraphernalia booked and released several hours later in idaho oh in idaho you gotta check the rule book idaho puts out the place where you can burn freely um i've been there once i'll burn anywhere i want to burn yeah

i don't know man how that's some narg shit on the cops to arrest for like marijuana possession you know like if you get arrested for that you're just like are you seriously doing this right now like it's one thing like i think i would actually like i think that the the shithead in me would actually say that like are we really doing this let me see your badge number yeah um they found three packs of edibles and a dab scraping tool in his chevy a dab scraping tool paraphernalia so he has upgraded to a vehicle he does he now drives a red chevy silverado it's truck month happy truck month to everybody happy hanukkah we forgot to do that off the top, and I'm doing that too. Randy, can you help me out with the last one?

Speaking of Florida men and iguanas. I'm scared. What are you doing, man? Scared. Hey, run through this video, Randy. There was a robbery on a Florida property. Looks like a bear. It's a bear.

A bear stole a guy's Chick-fil-A from his front porch no charges have been filed against this bear there are black bears a bear florida you say florida florida yes san sanford yeah sanford florida take a look man this video ain't gonna load yo i got news for you what what what is the source is this the independent this is a daily this is major metro.uk we're on run brick watch right now with this video i was not my oh oh i got an ad make sure we get the ad in there oh we got curtis muñez 32 42 yeah yeah he's getting his identity stolen i have ad blocker on one time yeah for eight just eight dollars you cannot have your identity stolen anymore that's big that's sick anyway the video is good because the bear walks right up and gently steals

the Chick-fil-A. No word on if the bear has been arraigned in court in Sanford. You know what I've been hot on lately? That Polynesian sauce from Chick-fil-A

is good. We gotta just get rid of it. Jesus Christ, that's the worst. Randy, turn it up. What are you doing? I played it. Randy, what happened?

Randy, what just happened? Brad just sent me Daily Mail UK and it was just terrible. You are you doing? I played it. No problem. Brandy, what happened? Brandy, what just happened? Brett just sent me Daily Mail UK, and it was just terrible. You got to find like a Twitter link or something. I don't know. To be honest, if I'm Randy. It has like five pop-ups. Brandy, you need to get an ad blocker. You need an ad blocker.

Plays right away. Look, there it goes. And you're a producer, huh? Just get an ad blocker. Ooh, who's this on? I think this is more on Brett. The source is a bad source look it out he's just showing me now this is good podcasting it's pretty good i can't confirm the bear does

take the chick-fil-a hey uh you think you got a sandwich or the nuggets he stole 30 nuggets and if you listen to the videos the owner goes oh you son of a bitch he's took my nuggets pretty good that's pretty funny what accent 30 nugs is that all for this dude obviously why did that sound down under you son of a bitch all right all right thanks for having broke some news you all right good job man uh bye oh that's it bye you