Circling Back - Brat Obama & The Headless Parrots

Episode Date: September 30, 2020

It's International Podcast Day which means one thing and one thing only: we recorded an episode of our podcast. The first presidential debate, swearing parrots in England, a dude who simp'd harder than anyone's simp'd before, and This Weekend in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (16:34) Happy International Podcast Day (23:12) Brat Obama Has Entered The Debate (39:44) Swearing Parrots (47:01) The Biggest Simp Ever (58:30) This Weekend In Fun presented by Miller High Life (1:06:44) Brett’s Breaking News Ritual: www.ritual.com/circlingback (10% off first three months) Manscaped: www.manscaped.com (STEAM for 20% off and free shipping) Miller High Life: Celebrate Responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, WI. --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name is will defreeze to my right david ruff you okay yeah i didn't mean to punch the table during the intro but i just got so fired up for podcast day. Well, there is no drywall for you to punch. I know. I mean, I guess you could have punched some drywall. I was thinking, in light of the news that it is International Podcast Day, I don't listen to any international podcasts. In fact, I was trying to think,

are there any podcasts I listen to out of Europe or Asia or do, or even aware of, and there's not maybe some soccer ones. Yeah. Men in blazers. That's a, is that UK? UK.

I'm impressed with you right now. Yeah. Yeah. I'm really smart. So yeah. If you, if you need any soccer podcasts, I can throw them your way and you can just,

you know, really ingratiate yourself in the culture. I don't. Okay. Cool. Cool. Cool. It's weird that national international podcast day coincides with podcast week here at wash media really we plan that out or it just kind of happened that way it just kind of happened well the funny thing is it's always podcast day so

i don't know what why today is any different than yesterday podcast week only comes once a year day before it's just frustrating to see the commercialization of International Podcast Day, like Spotify and Apple. Keep that out of my holidays. Yeah. I agree. I don't really like big podcasts unless they want to buy us out for a significant sum of money. True.

Perhaps nine figures. See, it was nice for me today because Sally knew it was International Podcast Day and she knows how much that means to me. So I woke up, had a little breakfast in bed. She made me coffee. She sent me off to to work gave me a little pat on the butt it was great here's what's cool that really happened no 10 minutes ago i told parks who's outside doing school i said do you need to go potty because we're about to start recording he said no i'm good now he's telling me through the window that he needs to poop so great timing dude get your boy

i'm loving this virtual school thing. It's really a lot of fun. I'll be back in about five minutes. Well, I mean, earlier Parks had to go to the bathroom, and Dylan told him to put his new shoes on. And I just heard from afar, he just said, yeah, Parks, those are on the wrong feet. We've all been there.

Dude, we've all been there. It's one of those days. I have a theory that kids' shoes are the same. They don't have a left or right because... I don't hate that. Yeah. They don't have... Like, the foot hasn't fully developed.

I just think it's a hassle to do lefts and rights at, like, four years old. How did you learn how to tie your shoes? Did you guys do the two loops, or did you do the one loop with the wraparound? I've always been a wraparound guy. Yeah, I think double knot, right? That's what it's called? I don't double knot. I do the one loop,

and then I wrap the other string around it and tie it. Are there special shoelaces for Jordans that I need to be in on? If you don't know, yeah. I know, seriously, because I follow League Fits on Instagram, and all the NBA guys walking in with their Jordans, their laces look way cooler than mine. Mine look like, like, like my dad bought

some Jordans and like, he just ties them all the way. Yeah. They're like fully tied. So the, the, the bunny ears are just draping almost down to like the end of the shoe. And like your borderline stepping on it. Um, I, I need to be in on that. If, if, if there's any connoisseurs out there, I want to help an entry level Jordan fan. You just have to kind of know, dude'm asking for help brett i i have a pair of like yeezy wave runners that i got for free due to a stock x deal that we had with a former podcast i can't believe they let us get any shoe yeah that was that was like the greatest deal i was like sure yeah i'll take this uh six hundred dollar pair of sneakers let's do it and then uh yeah i see like

photos of people wearing them online. I'm like, man, those look so dope on other people. And then I put them on myself, and I just look terrible in them. I've worn them, I think, twice outside of my apartment, and both times I changed out of them by lunch. Swagless. They're tight, though. If anyone wants them, just, like, Venmo me.

I'll just send them to you. I don't care. Dylan never wears his. He wears his a little bit. The other day he was in a bad mood. He told me. He's like, I was in a bad mood. I put the Yeezys on this morning.

I was like, okay. Are they mood changers? I guess. The right footwear can change everything. I have like five pairs of shoes. One pair of boots. One pair of Chelsea boots. One pair of sneakers. One pair of nice sneakers one pair of Chelsea boots, one pair of sneakers, one pair of nice sneakers.

Do I need to be up in my game? And flip-flops, which I wear constantly. No, I don't think you do. Okay. I wouldn't start now. I've never been a sneakerhead. I've never been a footwear connoisseur. I do have a bunch of different chinos.

Well, what's fun is that if you decide you want to become a sneaker bed. Sneaker bed. Sneaker head. You follow a bunch of sneaker accounts, and then your entire Discover feed is just a bunch of shoppable links of things that you're going to end up buying, and then you realize that you have a different pair of expensive sneakers for every day. And then you think about what you could have done with that money, and you feel really even worse about yourself.

I used to think paintball was my biggest money pit hobby back in the day. And now I'm like, no, it's probably the shoe thing. Yours is golf, dude. Golf at least has like a social aspect. Yeah, and maybe there's like a mental health benefit to having dope kicks. But paintball by far was just such a – A box of paintballs cost like 85 bucks. Are you serious? Oh, yeah, dude.

Dude, paintballs were expensive. What? You didn't ball back in the day? No, no. I would have figured you and your cronies up there would have... We had airsoft guns. Yeah, we did that too. We never did airsoft.

I had airsoft guns, and I would just shoot people with those. I mean, it hurts, but it doesn't hurt bad. Airsoft was tight because the weapons looked way too real. Yeah. Way, way too real. My airsoft gun looked like an actual gun. And you can't, like, they weren't, don't take the orange tip off, or you are in a load of trouble.

Yeah. Because they look like rifles. But what did I do in high school? You took the orange tip off. I ripped that orange tip off, And I just would sit in my yard and just shoot it. Just the tip? At one point, I had the giant thing, because when you buy

airsoft little pellets or whatever they're called, you buy them, and you don't buy like a hundred of them. You buy 10,000 of them. And at one point, I was helping my dad clean the garage, and I accidentally knocked over the container. Until we moved, there were just airsoft little pellets all over our garage.

Are those the least environmentally friendly ammo on the planet? If you go to my old house that I lived in in high school, I guarantee you that if you went around the yard, you'd be like, why are all these little tiny pellets here? What's going on? Those cannot be good for the local population. They're not biodegradable? No.

No chance. Those are little pieces of nylon. Man, I accidentally just stumbled upon the meme or the Photoshopped debate photo of our president. And then for some reason he's debating Dylan, but Dylan is a glizzy. And I just stumbled upon that pick, and man, it is funny. Since he's not here, do we think that this is wearing him thin right now? Is he actually going to start getting upset? I thought the other day when we – what did we hit him with the other day? The glizzysaurus.

I thought that might have been it because I just – I feel like he was at a loss for words. The straw that breaks the glizzy's back. Short answer, yes. Yeah. But the video yesterday, you couldn't sit on that. The one from the debate last night actually might be my favorite glizzy Photoshop to date. I don't know who did that.

Do you know who did it? I don't. Whoever did it, they took the time to widen the collar of the neck in order to make sure that it could fit the entire hot dog out of the the collar of the neck and that's what I liked about it the most I have to come back to this really oh Dylan shivery in the building come on I was trying to get away from it before he got back in. That's actually one of the better Photoshop's. It just makes me happy because you're so happy with yourself in these Photoshop's. It's a genuine smile like you're in a good mood. The happiest little hot dog.

It always makes me happy. In the actual picture, I'm not a hot dog. I'm not a glizzy. So I'm happy to, you know. I was enjoying life. What do we have to do? How hard would it be for us to make a Halloween costume? Head for you. 30 days Halloween costume? Head for you.

30 days. Head? What do you mean? Like to sell? Just the glizzy head. You can wear under your regular clothes, but like you have the head of, like in the video yesterday. And you're expecting me to wear this? Correct.

Yeah, that's not happening. There has been some costume talk tossed around for a Spooky Season episode. You guys know where I stand. Brett doesn't know where I stand. It's going to be hard to pull that off. I know. Oh, really? I haven't let that idea die in my head, though.

I'm not saying we can't do it. It's not a great idea because it is. But to pull off, it's going to take some logistical maneuvering. The studio might get messy. Let's put it that way. What are we doing? We'll talk after. Don't worry about it, bitch.

This is proprietary information. Oh, this is a tease. Geez. I didn't mean to call you a bitch. I'm sorry. Yeah, what the hell, dude? I'm sorry, bitch. Hey, can we get some official business out of the way before we really dig into the good

stuff? Did I miss anything cool? No, we talked about airsoft guns and paintball. Nothing cool. No. No, dude, it was fun and easy. Dude, you're not cool. I picked a differ.

That's a good point. All right, first and foremost, go follow Circling Back Pod. We've never been closer to 10.1K followers. Crazy. People say that's the number. I'm doing an announcement post when we hit 10.1K. Can we do like a mystery swipe up soon? Mystery swipe soon.

Mystery. Just post a swipe up. Nobody knows what it's going to be. We might do some mystery swipes. Wow, I'm seeing a lot of breaking intel right now saying that it wasn't really Parks who had to go to the bathroom. It was Dylan, and he was blaming it on Parks. Wow. Where's this intel coming from?

There's booty chatter on the timeline about this. A lot of people are saying that. Did y'all tweet about it? No. Well, then, okay. I know. know it's weird how would they know we should celebrate every 100 followers on instagram in the same way dude perfect does every million followers yeah 100 dude the thing is they get to celebrate more than us like they get a million fast we get 100 it's like come on guys stop stop flexing like every every two weeks it's like another milestone just enough already we get 100 it's like come on guys stop stop flexing like every every two weeks it's like another milestone just enough already we get it chad like you're doing you're selling stacking

followers we understand god people aren't talking on the tl yeah they are you know where they should be talking though they should be talking on the apple podcast charts where they can leave a review or a five-star rating also every tuesday and friday patreon spooky season happened yesterday rating. Also, every Tuesday and Friday, Patreon. Spooky season. Happened yesterday. I love spooky season. Ooh. Man, it's so much fun. As spooky as it is, it's equally as fun. If you've got stories of your own,

send them to spooky at watchmedia.com, or you can head over to watchmedia.com and just click on the spooky season page. Boom. There's a form right there. Makes it real easy for you to submit your stories. It's the intersection between fun and spooky. All I'm saying is there's still some chatter about a live Spooky Season. Live? Live.

I thought they might be dead. Uh-huh. Like the band they're going to play for us? Live? Spooky Season? Yeah, they're going to do the entire Throwing Copper album. Good. This is all over my head.

One of the most odd bands of the 90s. Bands of the 90s that I actually own their album. Good. This is all over my head. One of the most odd bands of the 90s. Bands of the 90s. I actually own their album. What was their super mainstream song I listened to a lot of? They had a lot. They had All Over You. They had Lightning Crashes.

It was a really creepy one. Lightning Crashes. Yeah, that's the one. They had one that was a video. It got a lot of play on MTV. It was like a remake of The Shining. You know a lot about this. Wow.

I remember this stuff. I asked the right guy. You did. You didn't know I was a big live guy. No. For a short period of my life. I've never even heard of it. You know Lightning Crash.

Lightning Crash. The lead singer had a shaved head and a rat tail. That's tight. That's true. That's true. It was nice. What are you talking about? What's his live spooky season? Don't worry about it, dude.

I'm just saying. I feel like it concerns me quite a lot. We may have to plan a weekend around it, but I'm just saying there might be a live spooky season coming up. You want a haunted house? Can we go to the haunted manor that we talked about? A manor? Manor?

Manor? Manor? Manor? Manor? You're supposed to go to Manor? Manor? Manor? You're supposed to go to Manor. Manor's the town. That's where the golf course that we sometimes play at.

So I said the word incorrectly. You're going to get a Manor. A reindeer Manor. You want to go play a super mediocre golf course and do a live podcast, I guess we could do that. Dude, I'm never playing

Shadow Glen again. I hate that place. You hate it more than anyone I've ever met. I hate it. Anytime I've ever even pitched going, you're like, no, I don't play that course.

No, I don't. That seems kind of honest. Welcome, I don't. Dylan. That seems kind of honest. Welcome to my mainer, Dylan. What was that? What was that? What are we basically going to be doing alive? Like, not in Austin?

Yeah. What? We're going to Salem, North Carolina. Yeah, it doesn't really answer the question. There may be a ranch involved. Oh, I see what you mean. Spooky. Spooky ranch.

Okay. Hey, we've also got Happy Hour Live tonight. Watch me on YouTube. YouTube.com slash watchmedia. Go subscribe. Every episode's on there. And also Twitch. Twitch.tv.

Dave hosted a little PGA tournament yesterday. How'd that go? Really well. I won. Did you? Yep. Blew everybody out. What was your score?

Enough to win. Nice. did you really win no i believe guac is the there's still some people trickling in but i believe guac is extra is in the lead like 14 under we played riviera not an easy course and um i shot three under. I beat a couple people, though. Shot a 58? 14-0? Yeah. Yeah? That's a solid round. What's the story on Tony Nitro?

Terry Nitro. Terry, dude. Come on, put some respect on the name. Well, Tony's his older brother. I know him from the club. What do you mean, what's the story? He was a big stoolie. Does he nitro-infuse his coffee, like his cold brew? How did he get that nickname?

It's not a nickname. It's his name. Way to go. Okay. Well, he's a fictional character, so I don't know. He's not. He went 300. Maybe in your fucking mind.

Don't diminish Terry's accomplishments, dude. I don't know the story about this. You're being a real chicken butt right now. You are. You are. Oh, man. I had something else real chicken butt right now. You are. You are. Oh, man. I had something else. Probably something really stupid.

It was. No, it definitely was. It slipped my mind and I'm bummed. About Terry? Maybe a story about me and, like, the square or something. What was it? You want me to tell that one? How much time you got?

Can we talk about ritual real quick? Yeah. Men's diets are falling behind. Over 70% of men don't get enough vitamin E, and up to 97% of men don't get enough vitamin D from their diet. Fundamentally, some men may overvalue exercise and undervalue nutrition and may think if I look healthy, I am healthy. Well, I got news for you.

There's more than what meets the eye. So ritual is introducing essential for men, the obsessively researched multivitamin that's formulated to help fill nutritional gaps in men's diets. We've all gotten these in the mail. I take them. It's the new two a days. Everyone knows that I take it twice a day. I wish I lived in a world where I could get all the nutrients and vitamins from the food I eat, but it's just, we have busy schedules, man. I, this is, I need this. I love it. It's like having a safety net. It's like, Oh dude we have busy schedules, man. I need this. I love it. It's like having a safety net. It's like, oh, dude, we got you, man.

Take your ritual. Yeah. It's like, I can take this in the morning and be a bad boy all day and still get all my vities? Yeah. I mean, I'm going to be a bad boy regardless. Makes me feel good about myself. Like I'm treating my body the right way.

I know. As a kid, I was like, oh, I don't want to take vitamins. Now I'm a 33-year-old man who's just like, give me all the vitamins. Like, how can I optimize even more? All the nutrients Now I'm a 33-year-old man who's just like, give me all the vitamins. Like, how can I optimize even more? All the nutrients. I need them. And these smell so good. Dude.

The bottle itself just smells like a minty goodness just all wrapped up into some vitamins. It's beautiful. Yeah, that's it. Like I said, it's a new type of two-a-days from helping support heart health, normal muscle function, normal immune function. This tiny step can have a big impact. Rituals and nutrients are even on display. These vegan-friendly, non-GMO, sugar-free, gluten-free, major allergen-free vitamins are traceable because of where it's from and as just important as what it's for.

Ritual always delivers. It's a subscription-based supplement. It's easy to start and easy to snooze. It's only about a dollar a day to have essential nutrients delivered right to your door. Step up your nutrient game with Essential for Men. Get 10% off your first three months when you visit ritual.com slash circling back and start your ritual today. That's 10% off during the first three months

at ritual.com slash circling back. All right, I'm going to ask you guys a question. Okay. How do you plan on celebrating International Podcast Day? By recording two podcasts today. Are we getting two off today? I might get three if I'm feeling real frisky.

Recording the mail-in later. You'll be there. Spoiler alert. You'll be on the boards today. Yeah, I'm hitting the boards. Call me Ben Wallace. How many people are getting two pods off on a Wednesday? Not many.

Not that many. Who's the guest? For what? For mail-in. My wife. She's a co-host. My wife. Oh, okay.

Yeah. I didn't know Sally was. Yeah, she's doing it. We got the DeFreezes on board. Got it. Got it. It always shakes me whenever you say Sally DeFreeze on the podcast because you're the only person that I ever hear say her first and last name now.

I have to tell my brain to say it every time because I just want to say young. Every time you say it, I'm like, oh, I kind of forgot about that. Oh, yeah, we got married. Yeah. I was there, dude. We illegally bind a contract. Oh, literally. We put it to paper.

Yep. Dave, how are you celebrating today? I'm going to listen to podcasts. Really? All day? So I already started this morning. I listened to one. I'm doing one right now.

I'll probably listen to this. And then I'm going to listen to an international podcast. I'm going to step out of my comfort zone. Ooh, which one? Um, I don't know. Um,

maybe one that I see on Xeno Weibo. Ooh, I have one for you. An international one, I think. Okay. My dad wrote a porno. Is that international?

I think, I think they're English. Um, does that count? I don't, I don't want to be this guy, but can I get something that's not English? Can I get something

that's a little bit more diverse? How are you going to understand what's going on? You don't speak other languages. You don't know that. Would it surprise you if all of a sudden one day we heard Dave making a phone call

completely in German? Yes, that would surprise me. Oh, you're not stuff. That's Russian, I think. No, it's not. It's both. They're similar. You forget about uh

the east and west german just all born villains in one person oh you know what i'm gonna do for international podcast day oh dave had something do you have dave it has nothing to do with what we're talking about but i just wanted to point out that the golf instructor i'm seeing when i great guy when i hit a good shot when i like get a concept and execute it his reaction is yes yes queen but he's not meaning to do it but that's how he says it and he says it very loud and it cracks me up like I just started laughing dude give him a podcast it's podcast day it is no you know what I'm? I'm going to promote one of our podcasts right now. Hey, it's Barrett. And Phil.

From the Club Cool Podcast. Are you interested in style, fashion, maybe the hottest new sneakers, latest and greatest in music or art? Then you need to check out Club Cool. Whether you're ready to chop it up about the newest drops, or you're just looking for simple ways to upgrade your wardrobe, we've got a little something for everybody. You can subscribe wherever you get your Washed Media podcasts

and follow us at Club Cool Pod on Instagram to learn more. Bang. What a consummate professional that Barrett Dudley is. You know he did that in one take? Dude, he's the one take guy. That would have taken me like three weeks. They call him One Take Barrett. Why?

Because he just does one take, obviously. Oh, that makes sense. And I got more breaking news on how I'm going to celebrate. You know what? I just booked a haircut. Oh, wow. Where are you going? Stop doing the sassy stance. I'd rather not disclose because it's overpriced. No, it's not. I won't say it. I'm going to

the boardroom. I'm not doing the expensive one. I don't need a massage. Are you going to the discotheque afterward? Yeah. Correct. I'm wearing my Wyatt coach shirt. Dude, should we get bottle service for International Podcast Day tonight?

Oh, there's a concept. Bottle service at the barbershop. I don't hate it. I feel like that's kind of done in a lower key way. Yeah, shouts to Fleischman. She just hands you bourbon the whole time. Really? Oh, yeah.

That's like a thing now, man. Yeah. If your stylist is not bringing you some kind of liquor or wine, something like that, go somewhere else. Damn. I always turn stuff like that down because I don't want inconvenience. Dude, yeah, like it's 3 o'clock on Tuesday. You know what?

I just don't need this right now. I'm the guy just, do you have any of that cucumber water? I noticed you guys had some random things cut up in that big old jug over there. Do you mind giving me some of that fruit water? Dude, that stuff always is so underwhelming. It honestly usually just gives me a stomachache. Yeah, the orange slices in there always just gives it a hint of orange, but not enough that it actually tastes good.

Right, and the worst are like the hotels that are like glorified holiday inns. They probably are holiday inns. And like, you know, it's like you walk down and they have them out there and you're like, eh, how long has this been sitting here? It's like it's the same as a public golf course's water cooler. You guys really rinsing those out? Yes, we are, Dave. I've seen some of those cart lads.

Dude, Harbor Point Golf Course from 2003 to 2006, I was cleaning those things out well every single day. Every single day. I feel like you had a better standard up there. Dude, nothing but the best. Now you just call the book a tee time, and they basically tell you to fuck off. Yep.

Shouts to Kaiser. You walk into pay, and they just spit in your face and say, get out there and tee off. You're like, all right, fine. Get on the tee box. Over a loudspeaker, too. It's demeaning. Rough group, just fucking tee off. You're going to need to pair up.

You're going to need to pair up with the Johnson group. Last call. You're on deck. Put your driver away. You're never going to make it. Yeah. Your guys are going to need to tee off. You're on deck. Put your driver away. You're never going to make it. Yeah, you guys are going to need to tee off. We're backed up. Nice fucking pants to freeze.

Yeah, it's like, why? How do you know my name? We know you're backed up. You guys booked all the fucking tee times, you idiots. Anything Dylan? No, I'm just listening to you guys. I got nothing, man. The day they told us to go ahead and tee off when we couldn't because there were guys in

front of us, it was the last straw. Yeah, we're flirting with the nothing, man. The day they told us to go ahead and tee off when we couldn't because there were guys in front of us, it was the last straw. Yeah, we're flirting with the green, bro. I'm not trying to catch a manslaughter charge because I went deep. Why did you say deep like Scooby-Doo? Deep. Deep. And Mr. DeFreeze, you pulled pipe, correct?

Yes, I did. And there were people on pulled pipe, correct? Yes, I did. And there were people on the green, correct? Yes. That's how the positional got. That was the law and order. You did pull pipe. I've never driven that green. I've gotten close.

First time I played with Brad Key and Micah, I drove it, and that was like four years ago. If you catch the wind on that whole ride. It must have been whipping like 50 miles per hour in your direction. It was. Okay. Hey, can we talk about what Dylan's been just like begging to talk about this entire time?

Hot dogs. There were some debates last night. Are we talking debates? You were a part of the debate last night, actually. That was very cool to see you. I literally wasn't. You were center stage on the big screen last night, Dylan. Oglyzidente. Are you the incumbent?

In what int? Come on. You're doing a lot of jokes right now. You're doing less than Letter Kenny though, somehow. No one does more jokes in less time than Letter Kenny. And that's what we love about it.

I know. Look, do you know how many Letterkenny references go over my head from listeners? Many. All of them, actually. Literally 100%. Unless it was in the first eight minutes of the first episode. I've probably picked up certain bits from Brett

that are Letterkenny bits that I don't realize are Letterkenny bits that I just do naturally. Yeah. Likely. There's a lot of those in my playbook. Dylan, are you tired after last night? I know it's pretty exhausting to be on that stage

just talking for like two straight hours. Who went viral last night? Any of us? I didn't tweet, man. I actually pretty much did off of Twitter. Oh, Twitter. I mean, what are the biggest volume shooting nights? Night one of The Bachelorette? Oh, yeah. Any debate?

Yeah. Those are the two. Super Bowl. Really? the two. Super Bowl. Really? Oh, the Super Bowl. People are just hucking. Halftime show, people are just throwing it. Oh, halftime show. People talk commercials, too. I feel like...

Yeah, commercials. Award show Twitter? Like Grammys or Oscars? I kind of like the award show Twitter, though, because it's a Sunday night, and I kind of feel like I need it a little bit. Makes me feel like I'm hanging out. I also didn't watch the entire debate because it's a Sunday night and I kind of feel like I need it a little bit. Makes me feel like I'm hanging out. I also didn't watch the entire debate because it made me too anxious.

Why? It was just stressful watching two older gentlemen just talk over each other and bicker like they're in middle school. I just couldn't do it. I hate to get political but let me say one thing. Guys, guys, guys.

There's been a lot of talk about Adderall in the last 24 hours, and this take has probably been, I didn't tweet this for a reason because I think someone probably beat me to it, but imagine not wanting your president to be on Adderall. Can you beat president without taking Adderall? Like, are you guys familiar with Adderall? Like, do you know how much shit you get done? Like, why would I want the guy who's in office, no matter what?

Or gal. This time around, it'll be a guy. Unless Libertarian Party pulls it off. They won't. Give them the Vyvanse. Give them the Addy. Yeah, what's the problem here? Mix a Concerta in there.

The older you get, the more I think you need it in a public office. Yeah, you don't. I didn't need it in college. I don't really need it now. Talk to me in about 10 years. I will need the it in a public office. Yeah, you don't. I didn't need it in college. I don't really need it now. Talk to me in about 10 years. I will need the methamphetamines. I want my president to make meth. Would you rather have a president on Adderall or Nugenics?

I hate the thought of us having the commander-in-chief with low T. That's fair. Yeah. Frank Thomas just walks up and be like, guys. Wait, are you trying to say that Frank Thomas should run? You mean Frank Hurt? Who called him Frank Hurt? Was it you?

Somebody called him. KJ. KJ hit him with the Frank Hurt? Which is a great name. Maybe the next golfer I create on PGA. Frank Hurt's good. There's old Frank Hurt. Frank Hurt's sponsored by Hooters.

Jupiter, Florida. Yeah, 100%. He's sponsored by Hooters and some really generic beer. What was the Adderall controversy? Somebody accused Biden of being on it, and they're like, no, no, no, you're on it. It's just finger pointing. Yeah. I don't think it actually made its way to the debate, but I just

thought it was funny. Because I've seen a lot of people talk down on Adderall. I'm like, bro, I know for a fact. I don't mean this to be a ringing endorsement of Adderall, but it is a wonder drug. I would strongly suggest if you are struggling with something that Adderall would fix, it fixes it very quickly.

Don't abuse it. With what? Don't abuse it. No, it depends on what you're struggling with. Don't use it recreationally.? Don't abuse it. Wait, no, it depends on what you're struggling with. Don't use it recreationally. We don't endorse that. What, like you can't stay awake at the bar? Right, right. You want to drink 500 beers? No, I don't mean that.

I mean like if you are having a work month where you can't get things done. When it hasn't been your day or week, your month, or even your year. Yeah, he got me through school. Did it really? It did. I mean, your boy did not like to study.

It got me through hangovers. It definitely altered my personality, the Vyvanse. I will say that. Were you just punching holes through drywall constantly? No, I was just miserable. I was only prescribed it in law school, and at the end of the day, I was just like a shell law school. And, like, at the end of the day, I was just, like, a shell of myself. Oh, yeah.

Like – At the end of a run is tough. Trying to do a long-distance relationship and, like, do, like, the call at the end of the day. And I had, like, you know, three classes. I had to go do outlines or whatever and then get home. You just crash. And you're just, like, on the phone. And you're just like, oh, hey, how was your day yeah like you okay like no no i'm clearly not no i don't i once took it to study for a math test and thought that i was just going to absolutely crush that math test

yeah fast forward eight hours and i read an entire novel front to back didn't study once i mentioned the time that i had two finals to study for and so I took some Adderall and I got so into studying for final one, I totally forgot to study for final two. I love that. I was on my way to school. I was walking around being like, oh dude, I crushed this. I'm going to murder this test. I was driving to school and when I realized it, I was like, oh my god.

I forgot to study for my second test. Did you call in a bomb threat? Be honest. I forgot how I handled it. I think I faked being sick for my second one, actually. My pre-chem teacher in freshman year of high school, he hit me with the, yeah, you're sick a lot on test days. I wanted to be like, yeah, there's a reason. It's because I'm really bad at your subjects and I don't know how to do chemistry.

I hate pre-chem. Yeah, it's like, no, it's because I need a few extra days. If you see my grades in your class, you understand why. No coincidence, sir or madam. Yeah, I just can't get past that. I mean, you really do drink 100 beers on Adderall. Yeah, it is. I mean, I'm not going to say I haven't taken it before a bachelor party on Thursday, Friday,

because that really just kind of propels you through the weekend. See, I'm more of a Saturday guy in the bachelor party. Oh, you take it to get back. I'm dead, and I'm like, ah. You get back. Who are you with? Are you with the boys? You're always with the boys, dude.

Dude, you're with the boys. Just looking around like, oh, boys. Boys are here. Yeah. Boys are here. Like, Hunter, can you steal something from your dad before you head to this bachelor party? Okay, dude. Why are you stealing it?

He took enough strays last night. Yeah, he had a hard one. Unbelievable. All right, we don't have to. Guys, don't want to talk about the debate. Staying out of politics. Twitter is a bad place. Twitter's scary right now.

The people who are trying to get certain things trending so it looks like their guy won, it's just like, dude, you stop. This is just bad. No, last night was a watch the debate, immediately sign off from being online and go watch something as mindless as humanly possible.

It was like trying to corral a bunch of first graders, you know? Like, stop doing this, please, and then just do it over and over again. Do you see Trump retweeted someone saying that they wanted Rogan? If you think Rogan is the answer to that, you are sadly, sadly mistaken. I will tell you that right now. And I didn't think Chris Wallace did a bad job. He was getting a lot of heat. I'm like, what's he supposed to do?

He can't cut off their mics. Yeah. I mean, is he going to just... He was handcuffed, man. He was. And, you know, at the end of the day, they need Chuck Todd. Chuckie T.

You got to get the Caesar in there. He needs eugenics. Chuck Todd. Look, he was appalled by what he saw last night, and I don't blame him, man, because at the end of the day, the fact that the Caesar wasn't asked to get in there, the Caesar and the beard combo now, that one-two punch, get it in there.

Give me some Chuck Teasy. I'm trying to think of like a meet the press pun, like meet the. Carlos Todd. like a meet the press pun like meet the carlos todd carlos todd is that this podcast that we talked about carlos norris carlos norris yeah who's our next who's our next moderator is it rogan no it's it's adam carolla of the man show which pod, it's International Podcast Day. Which podcast do you want the next moderator to be from? Dan Carlin.

If it can't be this one. Hardcore History. Dan Carlin. Hardcore History. I want the guys from Comptown. I don't listen to podcasts. Oh, Call Her Daddy. We do this for a living.

Yeah, let's get the Call Her Daddy girls up there. Actually, it would be funny. Who is it now? PFT would crush a debate moderation daddy girls up there. Actually, it would be funny. Who is it now? PFT would crush a debate moderation. Oh, he would. PFT would be fantastic. Just up there in his sunglasses. He would really do a good job.

God, now I want that to happen. What if we had Al Glissadente himself doing it? No, I don't want that role, man. Mr. President, please. Man, it would be a real shame if Preston made a video of, it's like cameras on them and they're going back and forth and they pan over to the moderator and instead of Chris Wallace, it's just a glitzy, like trying to get a word in.

How much run can we get out of this glitzy nonsense? I thought it was over until today. Until we just put your head on something else. No, we're not putting your head on a... People are tagging me in any kind of hot dog. I know. This is what happens. I've been craving hot dogs.

There's a hot dog pop-up stand in Austin somewhere and people are letting me know about it. Let's go. It looks kind of good. Let's go. Let's go. Hey, I had Italian sausage for dinner last night. Really? Sausage and peppers, yeah.

Tell me what I should have done in this situation yesterday. I was at the grocery store, and I was trying to get some bratwurst so that I could use some relish that I bought. I got some artisanal relish. Oh, that's tight. If you want to come over, I can share some with you. That's somehow the most punchable artisanal. It's just relish, dude.

Artisanal relish. What makes it artisanal? What's the difference between relish and jam? It's just high-end relish, dude. Oh, my God. It's just high-end relal? What's the difference between relish and jam? It's just high-end relish, dude. Oh, my God. It's just high-end relish. What's the difference between relish and jam? That I'd relish the opportunity to jam my fist in your face.

Damn. That was tight. Adderall. So, yeah, I took a bunch of Adderall before doing this. I was sitting there, and I was waiting to get some brats, and the guy in front of me in line to get his meat was talking to the butcher about his recipes and stuff there was only one butcher working at this point so he where are you by the

way central market oh there's four people behind me so there's five of us waiting to go get some we just want the meats people like that infuriate i was like dude no one cares about your red wine sauce right now dude like i'm trying to get some brats we're not all on your time the central market butcher we probably have the same butcher because we go to the same Central Market. He told me once about – I asked him about cutting – if they could cut off the membrane on the back of the ribs for, you know, I got them. Was it too insane for you?

He told me. He told me that he's like, you know, we get people come in here and ask for that. He's like, it doesn't matter. I was like, really? Because like literally every rib recipe you see it tells you to cut it off and then season he's like nah he's like that season's not getting in there don't don't shoot me please do not shoot me as the messenger and don't shoot the butcher either but just know that there is this is from the central market butcher maybe that's what we

get for going to central market but did you get the brats get a good no i never got the brats that's i i abandoned ship i was like dude this is ridiculous so you Did you get the brats? No, I never got the brats. That sucks. I abandoned ship. I was like, dude, this is ridiculous. So you were going to get your brats from the butcher? Yeah.

Dude, they have some real nice freshies over there. Just waiting to get eaten. Dude, they had a black pepper garlic one that I was like, that might be naughty. Is Dylan a butcher brat or is he like a

Johnsonville brat? No, man. He's every man's brat. You can get a good look at T-Bone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass, you know. Sick. I love that movie. I don't know when the last time I bought Brats, honestly.

So not much of a Brat guy. Oh, I love him. We're going to call you Brat Obama. Oh, that's good. We're not. Brat Obama has legs. We're not. Damn it.

People are going to run. Oh, yeah, they are. Yes. Stupid. I've never been happy about some I think so good cook me I'm abroad 165 degrees let me sit for a few minutes so the juices set in a little much a little rush maybe some chopped onion artisanal whatever goes well with a dill pickle. This is stupid. No but. I think, you know,

12 minutes in, I think we can objectively say that we just absolutely crushed our debate talk. Dude, I don't want to talk about the debate, guys. Yeah, we didn't actually talk politics, which is nice. Well, I want to get into some policy stuff, because I just don't think either of these guys articulated a healthcare plan like I was looking for as an undecided. That's all I have to say. Kidding. Because I just don't think either of these guys articulated a health care plan like I was looking for as an undecided.

That's all I have to say. Kidding. Things were just getting so hairy last night. But they didn't have to because with Manscaped, that can be remedied all you need. You could connect the two conversations, but you did somehow. Well, today's podcast, International Podcast Day, is brought to you by Manscaped, who's the best men's below the waist grooming company that there is. It doesn't get better. Who's better?

You can't name anybody. I'm not even going to try, Dave. Dude, they got Gronk doing it now. What? If it's good enough for Gronk, it's good enough for me. Gronk looks like a dude who's, well, Manscaped. Look, you've got to be trimmed downstairs. I'll just go ahead and say it.

You've got to be trimmed downstairs. Nobody wants to see that shit. Nobody. No. No. Nobody. I don't want to look. Nobody wants to see that shit. Nobody. No. No. Nobody. I don't want to look in the mirror and see that. There's no bigger confidence boost than just buzzing off every piece of hair on your body.

You ever... Never mind. What, Dave? Have we ever what, David? Nothing. Manscaped specifically said to go off on these reads. Your partner will appreciate it. I was just thinking, before you have like a a boy's

trip do you ever manscape just in case like one of your boys pants is you because your friends are disgusting dirtbags i can't believe i'm saying this but i would only do that if i knew i was hanging out with your friends okay that's fair yeah i don't i don't trim for the we don't really do anymore but like back in back in like college and right now i mean pantsing your buddy was still a funny thing to do you never knew when when you were going to get pantsed. Flounder has unfortunately found that out many times. He's a Manscaped guy, though. He is, man.

Pants Flounder. What's more rude? Pantsing or tabletopping? Pantsing. Showing your wiener to everybody, man. That's fair. The tabletopping could hurt you more. But the pantsing, if you're not using Manscaped, That's fair because you saw it. Well, it's not. The tabletopping could hurt you more. Yeah. But the pantsing, if you're not using manscaped, could be more embarrassing.

Tabletopping. And plus exposing your wiener to the public. It's objectively funny. It is funny. Because it's like you're not going to get hurt. Tabletopping on a beach. It's a softball. I never tabletop someone so hard that they're going to get hurt.

If they get hurt, it's because they got weak wrists. Yeah. Don't do it on tile, though. Like, do it outside in the. It's a beach. It's a beach thing. I will say, if you're mans. Don't do it on tile, though. Do it outside. It's a beach thing. I will say, if you're manscaping, do it on tile. If you're buzzing, you got to do it over something. You can't do it over a carpet or something.

I was buzzing. I was manscaping this morning. The boys were buzzing. Yeah? I've done it in the backyard before. Are you? What? Just so there's no cleanup. It's like he just goes in the

Wind there's wind that blows Dylan likes the tingle you don't even okay, so I feel bad when I brush Randy in the backyard I'm not out there shaving my balls. It's just like a little bit of hair. It's not like it's, you know, it's not tumbleweeding down the street or anything. It's like, look, Dad, there must have been a mountain lion here that shed. It's private. No one can see.

It's just, you know, it's easy cleanup. There's like a tumbleweed blowing by. The next thing you know, there's like two gunslingers outside about to duel. Hey, it's cordless. You can take it anywhere, really. You can. They also have a nice, beautiful stand that you can just put it right next to your, like, whatever,

your little toothbrush cup that you have before you quit. Dave's going to try it in the backyard. Watch this. No, I'm not. My neighbors can see in my backyard. Oh, see, mine can't. It's nice. Oh, it must be nice, dude.

Cool, man. Either way, upgrade your manscaping routine. Get 20% off plus free shipping with the code STEAM at manscaped.com. Level up your hygiene routine with only the best manscaping routine. Get 20% off plus free shipping with code STEAM at manscaped.com. Level up your hygiene routine with only the best manscaping tools. Your balls will thank you. Like I said, get 20% off and free shipping with code STEAM at manscaped.com. That's 20% off with free shipping at manscaped.com. Use code STEAM.

Trim your junk with Manscaped. You guys heard about these parrots over in England? Was that a 10-minute read or am I high? Dude, you're high. It was your fault. We took so much Adderall this morning before coming in here that reads just feel like segues at this point. You want to tell your story about you putting on a show for the neighborhood? Seriously, though, when I brush Randy in the backyard, there is a lot of hair.

It's a scene. It is absurd. Can I tell you guys about these parrots? It's been a couple days since we've had a good animal story. You ready for this? Yes. A wildlife park has been forced to remove five newly adopted parrots from public display after they started swearing at customers.

Yes. The officers at the Lincolnshire Wildlife Park said that they accepted a new flock of birds on August 15th, and the group taught each other to swear while in quarantine together. The park's chief executive officer, Steve Nichols, said the naughty antics made the staff laugh, which only encouraged the birds even more. But swift action had to be taken after the parrots began shouting profanities in front of guests and then laughing about it.

What kind of shit were they saying? I don't know. I wish they had, like, specifics on what these guys were saying. What kind of swear words do they have? Dylan, what's your deal fucking pussy wow calling people really antagonist stuff like that what do you do if you're trying to take your kid out to like the park and then all of a sudden you just have these parrots just like mobbing on you i don't see what the problem is here i mean are we at that point in in language and culture Where I mean We can't let these parrots Say what they want

We're having fun here It's the first amendment Right You have a bird at home Dave Have you taught it to speak You're a big bird guy right I do Yeah well

I've taught I've not taught my bird How to speak But my pet lizard My pet lizard I haven't had any luck There either And also my snack

My snake And my snack Isn't snack Isn't that a meme? Haven't there been stories of parrots or some kind of bird that can talk, like incriminating their homeowner in some way? I'm sure. I mean, I'm sure. I feel like that's like a viral story.

Right. That's why I'm asking. When you get down to the bottom of the article, there's those three clickbait things that will give you a virus if you click them. And one of them is like, you won't believe what this parrot said. I had to gain 120 pounds of lean muscle in two weeks. Or there's just like a very – If you're a parrot. There's a very –

Native ads support the publishing industry, Dylan. Programmatic revenue. There's the one where there's just like a woman with large breasts and it just says like, her back must hurt. And it's just like, well, I large breasts and it just says like her back must hurt And it's just like well I'm not clicking yeah my buddies used to just send me screenshots from PGP because we had like really ridiculous Programmatic ads at the bottom for a while and they're like this has gotten out of control like what what are these? Yeah, there was one that this woman had three boobs or something. Yes. I remember that one. I told a recall What could this possibly be about? Yeah, I was a movie

That was a good one. That was a good one. Total Recall. What could this possibly be about? Yeah, that was a good one. I've seen that movie. Why pomegranate is saving lives across the country. There'd be like a very well-known child star, and they'd be like, you won't believe where they are now. You click on it.

They're dead. You click on that one person, and then there's a 40 slideshow thing, and they're the last one. And it's like, oh, they're doing well. Nothing better. Jesse Goldberg is doing well. He's doing better. That's great. He's on a roller coaster ride, man. I wish nothing but the best for him.

They need to do a new remake just to get him back in the game, get him some skin in the game. I've had that thought. Did you see what Mark Cuban did for Delonte West? I did. What did he do? So Delonte West has fallen on really hard times, if you are unfamiliar. I am.

Like may even be homeless or something, on drugs stuff like that he is uh he battles mental illness drugs and he was homeless someone spotted him at i believe a gas station asking for money and maybe like put it on social media got around to mark cuban and he went and picked him up got in touch yeah put him in a he's now in a facility he was a maverick at one point correct yeah he was a fun maverick man he was like was not a good Mavericks team, but he could score a little bit undersized, but it was kind of cool. He's edgy. Big ups to Cubes, man.

He used to ride a motorcycle with loaded weapons. Man, I'm looking at the article now. This is sad. It is. Damn. Why don't we give him a podcast? It's podcast day. Oh, yeah.

Delonte and friends. No Sicilian can refuse a request on podcast day. Pizza? Oh! Pizza to Joey in Baltimore. Can I circle back to the Parrots real quick? Yep. Now that they're free agents.

We were staying in Parrots. Now that they're free agents. We were staying in parrots. Now that they're free agents. God dang it. Now that they're free agents. Adderall's wearing off for me. You just killed the vibe, dude. I need more. Have you thought about bringing them to Wilmot's?

The parrots? Yeah, they're free agents. To be honest, I don't know if we could find a better fit. Do they require payment or anything? How do we acquire these birds you talked to their agent they almost acquired uh what we're gonna get that one time a kangaroo remember that we tried they never emailed me back they probably emailed my grand x account back like months later i was like oh hey just saw your email we don't we only check

about once every four months no that was i remember sitting there i remember exactly where i was when i sent that email. I forget his name, but we tried to get that kangaroo. You can adopt him in Texas. But we wanted one of the jacked kangaroos that can beat people up. Yeah. How are you going to write this whole ass article and not say the cuss words that they're saying at the people? That's all we care about.

What are they saying? They're in England, so do you think that they had some like, They said the word that you don't say over here. It starts with a C. The C word? Yeah. Crap. What are they saying? They're in England. So do you think that they had some like... They said the word that you don't say over here. It starts with a C. The C word? Yeah. Crap. See you next Tuesday?

Yeah. That's big over there. Yeah, that's big. They like to call people that. I was very surprised when I went to the Chelsea game at how many people were just freely yelling that at the players. That's like the worst word, right? Ever? Over here?

Yeah. I could think of some other ones. I don't know if there are other like worse words. It's fun sometimes. I mean like cuss words, Randy. Not like, of course,

like there are slurs you can say that are worse. Do you have any words that you just hate? Thank you for knowing that. Like you know how like everyone you've ever dated has hated the word moist before?

We used to work with some people. Moist doesn't really get me. I don't really care. I'm more of a damp guy. Love Erica Dampier. Vincent Dampoose? Yeah. I don't know that reference.

Todd Deepler. Nice. What's the the beaver damp? Rural. Rural. Hoover damp. That's just stupid. They need to retire that word from the dictionary. Brett's first Uh, the beaver damp. Rural. Rural. Hoover damp. No one.

This is stupid. They need to retire that word from the dictionary. Brett's first. Rural. Brett's first like action item when he joined Wash Media was to teach me how to say that word. And it still didn't work. I just remember one day during a podcast before Brett officially started, he just said, how much do you hate saying the word rural? Rural.

Yeah, that word stinks. I'm so gun shy. There's a lot of good boy names that I've had to rule out because when paired with the last name Ruff, it just doesn't sound it sounds too like cartoony. Like Ralph.

I like the name Ralph a lot. Ralph Ruff. Ralph Ruff. You can't do that. Yeah, like his friends are going to see him and he's going to be well dressed. Hey, what's up, Ralph Ruff? Alright,uff. You can't do that. Ralph Ruff. Yeah, like his friends are going to see him, and he's going to be well-dressed. Ralph Ruff. Hey, what's up, Ralph Ruff? Oh, there's Ralph Ruff.

All right, dude, we get it. My name's Ralph. Why is he friends with J-Bone? I don't know. I love the lightning. Yeah. No, I'm a big lightning guy. No.

Don't even. It's not fair. He's fucking parrots. He's fucking parrots, man. You guys want to move on to our next news story? This is a Randy special. Randy implored us to talk about this. So if we have any complaints, just blame Randy.

I'm probably going to hate it. What is it? Man arrested over jailbreak attempt after helicopter booking blunder. I mean, we got jailbreaks. We got helicopters. This seems like right up our alley did you guys ever watch Prison Break? I loved Prison Break

my dad was all in on Prison Break I loved Prison Break Prison Break is like weirdly huge in Australia it's like they're Breaking Bad really? they talk dude I follow a couple people from Love Island Australia

and they talk about it like it's as good as Breaking Bad at one point I saw a poll that they put up and it was like alright you have to get rid of one it like it's as good as Breaking Bad. At one point, I saw a poll that they put up, and it was like, alright, you have to get rid of one show. Sopranos, Prison Break, Breaking Bad. I was like, what? Is this really that popular over there? I don't like that at

all. You guys want to hear what this guy did? I'm reading about it now. Yeah, this is kind of tight. I mean, it's not, but just read the shit. He's trying. Well, now it's not letting me read it. So can you read it? Let it go, Dylan. I clicked on this site too many times

and now it's locking me out for too many free articles. A criminal who hijacked and diverted a helicopter in midair in an attempt to break his wife out of a Belgian prison has been arrested after detectives found he used his own name to book the flight. Mike Geelan, 24, threatened the helicopter's pilot using a replica handgun as he sought to spring Crystal Appelt, 27,

from Birkendall Women's Prison in South Brussels on Friday. You love Brussels. Where she was being held on suspicion of murdering an ex-boyfriend. Oh, come on, man. Why is this dude selling out to save a girl who might have murdered her ex? He doesn't get murdered, too. He's simping, dude. He is simping right now. He's a simper. Yeah, this on, man. Why is this dude selling out to save a girl who might have murdered her ex? He doesn't get murdered, too. He's simping, dude. He is simping right now.

He's a simper. Yeah, this is sim shit. Their wedding photo, he's a total dork, man. Dude, she wore a choker necklace during the wedding. She looks like she would kill me. You can't wear it. That's hard. You're dating a bad bee if she's wearing a choker necklace as she's walking down the aisle.

What is she doing? You can't wear a choker. It's like a black choker with a white wedding dress, too. she's wearing a choker necklace as she's walking down the aisle. What is she doing? You can't wear a choker. It's like a black choker with a white wedding dress, too. She's wearing a tiara. Don't tell her how to dress. It's her day. It's just a weird move, man. What's next?

You don't like her middle part? She didn't have one. No, she's got the Karen swoop. This guy looks like he simps big time. That is a Karen swoop. Can you just book random helicopters? Can I just sign up for this and just do that? He hijacked it, man.

Remember Uber was doing a helicopter thing. Maybe that was in more certain times. You can go from, like, Manhattan to JFK for $400, but it only takes five minutes. That's probably worth it. The helicopter circled... Yeah, hung over after a long weekend in New York. Sounds great. The helicopter circled the prison several times, but Geeland's plan was foiled as the pilot was unable to land within the courtyard

while the helicopter flew over the prison the inmates cheered and waved but geeland became nauseous and had to put his head out of the helicopter five times to be sick what the what a botching this guy blew it he literally blew literally blew it. Like, it could not have gone worse for him. That's really funny. Oh, do you know they met in prison? Oh, that's beautiful. You love to see that. Wait, I am very confused.

How do you mean in prison? I thought it was a female. Was he like a guard? He was a convicted drug smuggler. Co-ed prison? Yeah. These are some bad boys. I didn't know that was a thing.

Mixed gender Hasselt prison last year. When both Crystal and I had visitors in January 2019, we bumped into each other in the visitor's area. Look at that love story. How about that? What a meet cute. Who would play the best prison rom-com pairing, Will? Ooh.

McConaughey and Hudson. That's a good question. I mean, yeah, probably just McConaughey and Hudson. They could just do what they did to Charlize Theron in Monster and just make her look real rough and then have her have to glow up at the Century when they finally get married. According to Geelan's lawyer. Is this Maxwell or the guy?

The dude, yeah. He says, I can't confirm that my client admitted that he wanted to free his wife from prison. Seems like a pretty open and shut case here. Yeah, dude, that's a bad lawyer. Yeah, he fucked up. It's like the lawyer from Making a Murderer. That guy was clueless. Oh, yeah.

What about attorney-colonial privilege here? I mean, even if he says it, you can't be like, well, yeah. What did the lawyer say? He said that his client admitted to wanting to break his wife out of prison. Oh, yeah, that's interesting. He had like a banner behind the the chopper that just said like i'm coming babe well come on i got you what was he gonna what was his method was he gonna drop a rope no he wanted to land you're gonna land it and just get it oh no no you gotta do you gotta

be more tactical than that you gotta drop the rope we're getting out of here like it wasn't gonna work dude we know he wanted to drop ropes day but he wanted to land in the cot the the courtyard so she could just hop in. I guess he knew when she had recess or rec time, whatever it's called in prison. Sounds like he wanted E-rec time. Don't Sassy Wolf that. Don't Sassy Wolf that.

If I'm in that prison and if he lands, I'm hopping on that thing. Imagine just like 40 people just like rushing onto the helicopter. Let's get out of here. I'm just laughing at Brad Obama still. Come on, we moved on from that. I know, but every time it comes into my head, I just start laughing. God. Should we do Small Biz September?

I'm a fucking idiot. I accidentally booked my haircut for tomorrow and not today. Oh, you fool. You dumb dumb. And I have to call them to change it. What a pain in the ass. I'm leaving. I'm kidding.

I can hold out for ten more minutes. I'll cut your hair today. Don't cut my hair. They can fix it tomorrow if I do a bad job. No, not my hair. Can I use my manscaped? I'll use your manscaped. You remember where I cut my haircut last?

Supercuts? Yeah, because it was like the only place and I needed to get it. I I'll use your manscaped. You remember where I got my haircut last? Supercuts? Yeah, because it was the only place and I needed to get it. I can't remember what we were doing. But I needed to get it cut. It was probably podcast day. It was probably podcast month. And yeah, I went supercuts and it was not a good cut. Which is weird, man.

Normally you expect a great one from there. Brad, it's the final day of September. We can finally wake Randy up. He's been making that joke for three days. Yeah, he has. What a fun Small Biz September. I appreciate all the submissions. A lot of small businesses out there that listeners are part of.

This was fun. So what I'm going to do for the last day of Small Biz September is kind of run through the rest of them. This is my idea, by the way. Let's just get that on the table. Dylan, thank you for the idea. So Dylan's idea to run through the rest of them, so he's going to do it. Oh.

I'll do it. I'll do it. Spooky. Yeah, we had a bunch of submissions. Go back and forth. You want to trade licks here? Let's trade licks. Okay.

I'll start. No, just go back and forth. Shots to Andrew Wood of the Wood Insurance Group in Conroe, Texas. He's just selling insurance. Only to Texas residents, though. Check out Andrew Wood in Conroe, Texas. He's just selling insurance. Only to Texas residents, though. Check out Andrew Wood in Conroe. Thank you for that disclaimer. Austin Edmonds from Edmonds for the Edmonds Insurance Benefits.

A lot of Edmonds going on here. This is the one I'm most excited for. In El Segundo, California. I love El Segundo. Shouts to the Edmonds clan over there. Austin Edmonds from Edmonds for the Edmonds Insurance Benefits. I love that. Did he found the town?

Did his family? You got to think the Edmonds are involved somehow. Shots to NotStranded, K-N-O-T in Houston, Texas. NotStranded.shop. They make mask holders that are cool. And you put them around your neck so you don't have to put them in your car. Yeah, they're like croquis for your mask. Oh, hell yeah.

Well, here's one near and dear to our hearts. Big Will. We haven't heard from Big Will in a long time. He hopped in my Warzone party last night, but I was about to go play with KJ. I played with him that time. I didn't know it was him for like the first 10 minutes. I was like, this is Big Will? Why doesn't he call anymore?

I miss getting that. What a genius. Honestly, I honestly might just miss his voicemail. I need to identify his number so I can note him. He's still listening, but he just doesn't want to talk to us anymore anywhere okay anyway uh together home care in indiana helping folks out getting in-home health solutions like getting up to get food taking a shower etc that's a very noble endeavor there i would say you want you want to go you want to go back to back this is your boy yeah gabby Gabby's Barbecue. My boy Zach, who works at it lifetime with Dave and I.

Gabby's Barbecue and catering on Rainy Street in Austin, Texas. Okay, I would like to try it. I'm into barbecue. He wants to hook us up with some Q so he can try it and maybe even give us a little bit of merch, and I'm all over that. Just know that I will fuck up all the barbecue. Gabby's Barbecue, Rainy Street, Austin, Texas. Check it out.

Shouts to Austin and his girlfriend from Bowling Green, Will, the Ohio area. I'm more of a bowling for soup guy. Soup's the perfect fucking food. I couldn't hit that take more. Anyway, they have a business called Boho and Bark, which our friends at Fetch are a similar company. They're just making our pups look good. Boho and Bark out of the Bowling Green area.

Self-Fetch. Matt from Savannah, Georgia, in coastal pool management. They manage pools. They manage pools. On the coast. Pools. Take a hit when pools didn't open for the—took a hit, excuse me. It took a hit.

When pools didn't open for half the summer, but they're coming back strong. Hell yeah. It's just a mess. I love pool management. Oh, coastal pool management. back strong. Hell, yeah. I love pool management. Oh, coastal pool management. Coastal pool management in Savannah. Coastal pool. Matt, if I am ever wealthy enough to have a home in Savannah, Georgia,

with a pool, you're the guy I'm calling to manage it. Who else would you call, really? I don't know. Savannah, Georgia's got to be a tight place to have a pool because you're just on the beach and then back in the pool. Go to Paula Deen's restaurant. I bet you the butter's the main ingredient. It's probably very unhealthy.

Yeah. Also racist. Dean's restaurant. I bet you the butter's the main ingredient. It's probably very unhealthy. Also racist. That's the Noah from North Carolina. He just sells weed with his buddy Trevor. Which is actually, someone actually submitted that. Oh, it's fucking hysterical.

It's a small business. With his buddy Trevor. Oh, that's so funny. If you need Noah, just let him know. Dude, if I need some bud in North Carolina, Noah's my guy. Yeah. He's been doing it for a long time, he said. I don't know if this last one is legit.

The headless parrot in Location Redacted, it looks like, where they're selling up $2, you call it, from five to close on days that end in Y. Not really sure why they would redact the location. Yeah, that's the very important part of getting people to your business. Well, it's like you have to look it up. Sorry, Will. They submitted that.

One of the submissions I had to throw in. Sorry, man. It's okay, man. I guess we're just doing a... You're not exclusive. You're not only competition. You're not exclusive. You're not a small business anymore

No it's healthy To have competition It's healthy You franchise to like 40 people They're gonna be shook When I have 5 parrots That have heads though

That swear at you I wouldn't know a parrot If it had a head on it That just might It might have a blood ward That starts from it though And they just start Stealing my parrots

And chopping their heads off Leaving them He just sells weed With his buddy Trevor It's a small business Yeah dude Shout out Noah and Trevor Just heads off. He just sells weed with his buddy Trevor. It's a small business. Yeah, dude. Shout out Noah and Trevor. Just write off your car payments.

Let's do this weekend in fun. Presented by Miller High Life. Well, first and foremost, thank you to everyone who reached out, sending in your small businesses. We really appreciate it. Yeah. Now it's time for this weekend of fun. As I said, presented by Miller High Life. Miller High Life brings the pride to the simple things in life.

Miller High Life is an unpretentious quality beer with refreshing champagne-like tiny bubbles in an iconic glass bottle that's accessible to all. Dave, you had a Miller High Life recently? Oh, buddy, I had two. Ooh. Actually, that was my official game day beer at Dillon's as I watched the Texas game, and he was awkwardly quiet in the corner. Yeah, I was steaming.

I was just enjoying Miller High Life. Just a classic, just honest brew. Love it. With champagne, just tiny little bubbles that just fizz in your mouth. Oh, it's so good. Oh, yeah. They were even founded on the belief that everyone should enjoy the good life, which is why he created the Champagne and Beers,

which High Life has been famously known as for over 100 years. That's a good resume, if you ask me. That's a lot of years, man. If someone gives me their resume and they're like, yeah, I've been doing this for 100 years, I'm like, well. You're hired. Welcome. We were only looking for like three to five years experience, but you have 100.

It's pretty good. So, yeah, you're hired. Yep. Miller High Life, the champagne of beers, a quality beer within everyone's reach. Celebrate responsibly. Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Dylan, what are you getting into this weekend, man? I have a sexy little weekend lined up, I believe.

Okay. Wow. Oh, wow. Congrats on the sexiness. I'm playing golf on Friday. And I'm playing with my friend David. Hey, asshole, save it. I'm playing with my friend Klein.

No. What? I'm sorry, I'm just kidding. And playing with my friend Ross. Not noted New York Times best-selling author. Noted Manchester United supporter Ross. Is he? Oh, yeah.

Ross Winchie. Is that how you say it? I believe it's pronounced Winchie. Oh, the nice guy. Works with Klein. Probably like Schwab. Yeah. Awesome. Played golf with him in Denver before. Good player? He's probably going to beat me.

It's not saying much. Oh, Dylan. Yeah, I'm the fourth seed. Yeah, I'm probably the fourth seed on this trip. Anyway, can't wait. Maybe get a dinner off afterward. Who knows? When does the sexiness start?

That's my question. It started with the golf. Okay. Actually, it ends with the golf, too, because I come back Saturday, and I'm just going to hang out with Parks all weekend. What are you doing after the golf? Hopefully, we're going to go get dinner and drink somewhere. Where? I want to know.

I want you to come with. So it's a collaborative decision. Okay. You down with that? I am. What city are you going to have dinner at? Will your wife be accompanying you to DFW? Yeah, but I don't think she's—she's not playing golf with us.

Okay. I know. I think she has an obligation Friday night. Obligation. Looking for the boys, man. No chilling. All the boys. My weekend is—I don't know.

I wasn't going to say sexy, but the more Dylan describes it, it sounds sexy. Have you seen the weather Friday in Dallas? Super sexy. Give me a low weather Friday in Dallas? Super sexy. Give me a low and a high. Low 50s? High 80, like maybe 78? You don't think I'm going to peel that pullover off? Sunny, David.

No, probably before that. I love it. Wait until you see my fit on Friday night. You're going to fucking wet yourself when you see that shit. Just wait. Just pee or the other thing. By the way, Barrett just came through dripping. He's dripping right now.

So I was cracking up because, like, I don't know how much Parks knows Barrett. And, like, so Barrett walks in with just a superb fall hat on. And Parks was, like, stunned by the fit. And I was just like, man, I bet he wants one of those hats. Well, dude, he did the swag move of wearing the shades all the way from outside to in the, he didn't pop the shades off

until he got in. Why would you? So he had the fall hat on with the flat brim. It's felt, of course. The shades and then a mask.

He just, like, who is this? Well, he's always seen fedoras and now that he sees like an actual drip hat, like,

he's just in shock. Hey, how come you didn't like my tweet last week when I said I was, asked people if I should play as you on PGA? I didn't appreciate it very much. So, yeah, I'm going back up to Dallas-Fort Worth.

I'm going to play golf Friday. Without your wife. No, she's not playing golf. Sunday? Sunday? I'm still kind of waiting to see if... Trying to catch a cowboy today? Trying to maybe catch a cowboy today?

Oh. You're trying to see Baker IRL. Trying to feel dangerous. Yeah. I will not be going to that game. I got to get back. Cool. Didn't want you to go anyway.

See you later. Might drag me to the dinosaur park again. Who knows? Saturday. I don't really know what our plans are Saturday. Be hanging out, man. Bringing Randy up there. Hope to see his grandparents.

My parents. His dog. Oh. Got it. Makes sense. Makes sense. That's it, man. Not quite as sexy as Dylan's, but sexy enough.

I got a sexy weekend. Yeah? Your boy's got a sexy weekend. Your boy's got a sexy weekend. Tell us about it, bitch. I'm going to Aspen. California. It's nice. Real nice. Yeah, I've never been to Aspen before, so I'm going to Aspen this weekend. I've never had either,

man. I'm very excited. We're going to do some hiking. Going to do some eating. What shoes are you wearing to hike? I bought some On sneakers. You ever heard of those? They're Swiss made. You've seen them at the gym. You're going to put them on?

That's not, yeah. Oh, okay. On sneakers. Yep. Are they the kind with the toes that are separate? I wish, dude. Those are swag. Those are not swag.

The Ons that I got, I have to admit, aren't very swag, but they are well made and they're quite comfortable. And I decided to buy some for this trip to do some hiking in, so I'm quite excited about it. Good for you. And I don't really know what's in store for me, to be honest, this weekend. We don't have a ton of plans. No snow, right? No snow.

It's peak colors right now. Well, maybe on the back end of the peak colors, but we got some color up there. Okay. So I don't know. We'll see. We'll see. Dude, hell yeah. I am going to buy a cowboy hat.

Okay. You will. Dylan. You're going to buy a cowboy hat. Okay. You will. Dylan. You're going to beat me to it, but that's fine. I feel like you're somewhat invested in my cowboy hat adventure. I really am. And so I'm going to send you some pics while I'm trying them on just so you know. You know which shape you're going with.

No, no, no. No offense, Dylan. Send it to Flounder. Okay. I'll do both. I'll put it in the Puck Boys group chat. Why can't you put me on there too, David? I mean, you can, but just no.

The Puck Boys group chat will be revived't you put me on there too, David? I mean, you can, but just no. The Puck Boys group chat will be revived. Have you decided on a shape? No, I've got a couple different shapes. Okay. Oh, you might want to include Fly Fish and Charlie on that too. There's a number of people that could have input. Maybe too many cooks. Might as well throw Barrett on there too.

I might just make a group text called Will's Cowboy Hat Discussion. I'm going to change the name of it to Dylan's when I come through and purchase. Okay, that's fine. Yeah, we'll get the whole squad in there, and we'll get down to brass tacks and get something done. Can I be included, too? You can be included. No, don't include me. You'll ruin it.

He's from New York City. New York City? Sorry, buddy. You are from New York City. Oh, man. Oh, Brett, what are you doing this weekend? Big weekend for your boy.

I'm doing nothing. I'm doing nothing. I would have liked to go up to Dallas, but we're going to give the credit card a break for the weekend, so I'm going to hang out

and chill, work on myself, you know, a little self-care. Do some face masks? I'd be extremely jealous because the Gem Saloon officially is open for indoor hangouts as of today. Okay. So I'm going to live vicariously through some pals that are going. So how does Sean, the bartender, great dude.

And yeah, that's kind of all I have planned. I might do a Houston trip. Sig Uth is getting a car. Why are we doing Sig Uth still? What kind of whips are you going to push? I don't know. That's where I might go and help out. Get on CarGurus, non-spot. Those new Bentley SUVs are pretty sick.

Yeah, well, we'd have to do some financing for that. Financing. That's how they say it at the Mr. Purple. At the Bentley dealership, that's how they say it. Have you ever been to a Bentley dealership? Probably not. No. Yeah, no.

You know what? I might do a solo round. I did one last Thursday, solo nine, with a guy that we got paired up with on the first tee. Great dude. Great dude. Was it Noah and Trevor? Trevor and Noah?

Who was it? Who'd you get paired with? I don't know his name. Okay. I'm glad you guys are still keeping in touch. It's a hard difference. It's forever. It's fair.

I don't remember the dude who shot 74 in Crocs. I don't remember his name from Lions. That guy was tough. Told me I needed to embrace my pimpness. Drew?

It was not Drew. Drew in Crocs is kind of a funny thought though. God. Yeah. Might get a might see if there's

any locals around this weekend. Good. Very cool. Good. That's about it though. You got any breaking news for us? Will, as a matter of fact, I do. I'm cool. Good. That's about it, though. You got any breaking news for us?

Will, as a matter of fact, I do. I'm glad you asked. It's a little choose-your-adventure here. Dylan, would you like to go Subway Sandwiches, Parisian Bangs, Way down top! Bangs! or Animal Bravery?

Parisian Bangs? Yeah, Parisian Bangs. Sounds like my recommended tab. She bangs! Oh, baby, but she moves, she moves. The skies of Paris... Okay, I guess we'll start there, bitch. ...were rocked by the deafening sonic bang...

Way down top! Bang! ...from a jet which passed over the city. Now, the thing about this headline was there's almost too many circling back bits. Yeah. So I had to include it. I actually watched a video.

Yeah. Quite a loud bang. Bye. It was loud, man. Tennis match was interrupted. Dave, this one kind of comes at you. Subway sandwiches, they've been deemed too sugary to meet legal definition of being bread.

What? Yep. The Supreme Court has found that the bread in Subway's heated sandwiches have too much sugar in it to meet the legal definition of being bread. Supreme Court of what? Sandwiches. Sandwiches, Dave. Sandwiches. Just a dude named Joey.

Chief Justice Jared. Oh, too much sugar. Dude. He's a pedophile. That's Jared? Oh, too much sugar. Dude. He's a pedophile. That's weird. Yeah, it turns out not a good- He's in jail. Supreme Court Joe or Jared?

Oh, yeah. Jared's a pedophile. You have anything to say for yourself? I didn't bake the bread. I do remember the time that we forgot to make the bread the night before it messed up, and we got a call from our boss, Anita. She just goes, we have no bread.

We have no bread. We're like, oh, fuck. What are we going to do? Then I got left off the schedule. Oh, no. Why does she sound like Sassy Wolf Dave?

She was, her husband, there's no way they're going to hear this. He, you never know. He talked like this. He was like,

hey, Bob, want some cheese with that? That's how he talked. We still do this voice to this this day it's because he got like a fight and got like his throat slashed oh my god he's a rough motherfucker dude hell yeah and he would okay he would he would order when somebody was ordering a sandwich like he would and like we're there and if it's busy you know you'd be there you're working the line next to him and he would ask somebody oh yeah what yeah, what else can I get you? And then he would, like, look down, and he would say shit under his breath.

Motherfucker. And I'm like, dude, you are the manager of this store. You shouldn't do that. That's bad boy shit, dude. Yeah. That's it. I don't know. That's great that they're getting called out for too much sugar.

Yeah. That was almost the name of our called out for too much sugar. Yeah. That was almost the name of our sports pod. Too much sugar? Yeah. It's a baking podcast by Walsh Media. That's surprising. I need to look more into this. I didn't know this was before the Supreme Court.

Yeah. Of Ireland. Oh, really? Yeah. Oh, okay. That makes a little bit more sense. Did it say how many grams? No, it, okay. That makes a little bit more sense. Shots to Galway. Did it say how many grams?

No, it did not. Okay. I've also clicked out of the article. That's okay. Hey, Will. Hello. Magawa, the rat that sniffs out landmines, has been awarded for his bravery. That's huge.

A five-year-old African giant pouched rat was recognized with a prestigious honor for his work detecting mines and explosives in Cambodia. That's tight, man. I never liked a rat, sir. Dude, please don't do a rat sound. Dude, don't video Will's face. Never can, phone man. That's the rat accepting the award

That was my impression Oh I'd like to thank you Thank you What did he do? Just like put the metal in his mouth And like scamper off? No, it sounds like there was probably

A couple rats to begin with And he was the only one That didn't get popped So He was just the last man standing And they're like Alright, give this guy an award Give this guy an award

They started out with like 5,000 They just sent him over a field All of his boys are dead. It looked like Tropic Thunder. It was a fire fight. And this one was the dude that made it. He probably just chilled on the sidelines.

It was like, oh, shit. Shouts to him. That's all I got. Beautiful. What an episode. I love a good service rat. Anything else before we get out of here? I'm anxious to see what's going down out here.

This convo has been lit. Guys, I'm going to give everyone a heartfelt happy international podcast day. Let's get out of here. Bye. Bye. you