Circling Back - Brokinis & Sea Monsters

Episode Date: August 26, 2020

It's National Dog Day (sneaky shouts to all the dogs out there listening), Dave's Fantasy Sports Announcement, In or Out: Brokinis, a new species of sea creature, and This Weekend in Fun presented by Miller High Life. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (14:00) National Dog Day (24:10) Dave’s Big Announcement (40:00) In or Out: Brokinis (1:00:35) New Indonesian Sea Monster (1:08:00) This Weekend in Fun presented by Miller High Life Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (STEAM for a free face mask) Hims: www.forhims.com/steam (free visit!) SOM Sleep: getsom.com/pages/podcast (free samples!) Miller High Life: Celebrate Responsibly, Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the lodge my name's will to freeze to my right dave ruff today's gonna be a fun one why just because i sat in here for like the last 45 minutes and talked about what we're talking about. And it just, it was fun. Seems like a fun one. There's a lot of fun and easy banter that wasn't recorded. There was. It was, a lot of it was good.

A lot of it was un-airable. Yeah. What if we recorded the previously unrecorded fun and easy banter pre-banter and released it somehow? Think about that. I think it'd make it really difficult for us to have an episode after that, fun and easy banter, pre-banter, and released it somehow. Think about that. I think it'd make it really difficult for us to have an episode after that that didn't just cover the exact same stuff, though. Yeah, it's usually. That's the issue, Dylan.

Okay, that's a fair point. If you want to do a pre-game and post-game, we can do that. A lot of us are just sitting here bitching about stuff, though. Yeah. It's like, these guys suck, man. 90% of it's Randy trying to explain Twitch to us. Or Randy trying to be funny and us just looking at him like, please stop. Like, dude, shut up, Randy.

Yeah. Can I give a prayers up shout out to our friends in Louisiana? Yes. Because I'm worried, as are many. I would like to co-sign. Always. We got a big contingent in Lake Charles. Yeah.

Jake in Lake Charles. Our boy Jake messages from the road. Yeah, he's bouncing. He's out of there. Be careful. To safety. Hurricanes freak me out. I've been kind of lucky. I don't live on the coast. To safety. Hurricanes freak me out. I've been kind of lucky I don't live on the coast, never have.

But the entire premise of it creeps me out. And the fact that we're outer bands blowing through Austin right now, it's weird. It's weird to think about that that's part of that giant monster of a storm. That's my weather analysis. Thank you. Turn around. Don't drown. Well around. Don't drown.

Well said. Don't risk it for a brisket. That's not a saying. Get your briskets now. Two only. Two only. Just two. Utah, put your twos up.

Give me two. That HEV announcement they made. You know, two briskets is a lot of meat. Who's smoking a brisket in a time like this? Dude, what if you're just trying to get a grill off with the boys, though? Just the lads coming over? A little hurricane brisk?

Dave and I had some brisket ramen. It's true. Not together. Dave had it Monday night? I had it Monday night on your recommendation of something that I hadn't had before. Right. Does it slap? Yes. Okay. Does it slap? Yes. Okay.

From Tatsuya? Ramen Tatsuya. Will inform me I'd been eating ramen all wrong. No, not all ramen wrong. Just this one particular one. You weren't dipping, Doug. No, I wasn't. You didn't know?

Dave, I'm not going to fault you for that. Part of the reason I didn't tell you the night that you were eating it is because I didn't want it to taint your meal. And so I decided to wait until the next day to mansplain how dipping ramen works the last thing i want with my meal is taint exactly what if you followed up your dipping ramen with dipping dots is that too much dip leo gif he did it i I'm sorry. We can edit that. Don't intro him.

That was the least deserving bang of all time. It's too much dip, man. Is that why you had it turned down a little bit? Yeah, it just wasn't fully firing. Okay. Sorry about that. I had fun with it. I just like to amuse myself at times.

I don't even think I've had Dippin' Dots before. What? No. Dude, you're living in 1945. It's from the future. It just looks like Fruity Pebbles. Let me say this about Dippin' Dots before. What? No. Dude, you're living in 1945. It's from the future. It just looks like Fruity Pebbles. Let me say this about Dippin' Dots. They are incredible.

What is it? Mint chocolate chip is my fave. Ice cream of the future. But what is it? My fave, Flav. Can you tell me what it actually is? It's ice cream of the future. How is it produced?

John Titor, time traveler, comes back in time and gives us an ice cream recipe. Okay, what makes it so good, Will, apart from just like the flavor of it, which is phenomenal, but when it starts to melt, like the little balls of frozen ice cream start to cling together. And I can't, I don't know why it just hits so different, but it does. Just looking at this, like do you get them from like, do, like, Dippin' Dots stores you go to? Like, storefronts that you buy Dippin' Dots from, or is this from the grocery store? I think they have storefronts.

It seems really, like, tiresome for these, like, the people to use, like, little tiny scoops and just have to do all that. Yeah. Because there's, like, a thousand of these little tiny scoops in there. Here's what's special about Dippin' Dots. It gets better as you eat it, as it melts it becomes better why does it because it becomes actual ice cream

no the texture of it the texture of it yeah comes increasingly better okay kind of hard to explain but people who've had it know what i'm talking about dave knows look at him he knows do you remember that a business class we took together at t state no i don't and uh you're you we had to create a business and yours was dipping thoughts i remember that yeah i mean you got an a on it it's t-h-o-t-s yeah yeah i remember i thought it was stripping thoughts no it was different that's where didn't you show up to your presentation in a White Hummer limo? I don't recall. Dude, Dippin' Dots has some fire tweets out here. Their pinned tweet from May 22, 2020 is just absolutely awesome.

It's just stock photos of Dippin' Dots, and it says, My plans, and it's a thing of Dippin' Dots. And then it says 2020, and it's tipped over. Wait, Dippin' Dots has social media? Dude, they pinned that. Yeah, the only person I follow who follows them is the Chris Gaines fan account, which I think is Trill Ballins.

It's Trill Ballins. So that makes sense. Bro Bible Brandon follows it, too. The next time I see Dippin' Dots, I will be stopping by. And I will be purchasing mint chocolate chip. Dude, you fucking won't, man. Okay.

I'm so tired of you coming on here and making empty promises. I'm going to bring some to the well, too. No, you're not. Are you one of those people that thinks that Blue Bell is like fire, too? Blue Bell homemade vanilla is a very strong ice cream. Okay. It's, yeah.

That flavor particularly. Yeah, I got a love for Blue Bell. Or overrated Texas. Blue Bell or Whataburger? Go. Blue Bell. Whataburger. Whataburger.

Whataburger has certain aspects of the menu that are very, very good. Honey butter chicken biscuit? I'm eating that before a scoop of ice cream every single time it's in front of me. Swing. There is really good ice cream everywhere in the country, and I have yet to have a thing of Blue Bell where I'm like, oh, that's so much better than anything else I've had. It's not far and away, but the way people talk about it is that it's far and away better

than any other ice cream out there, and it's just simply not true. If we're talking just vanilla, give me Blue Bell. That's fine. If we're doing any other flavor, I'll branch out. I'll admit, I got the proprietary Tahitian vanilla from Central Market recently. Did nothing for me. I probably would have been better off getting Blue Bell. It's just the classic staple.

Do you want to announce your ice cream collab? What? Ben and Scary's. That's good. It's a CBD infused. They don't have the guts to do that with me. Wow. They collab with everybody, I feel like.

Do you want me to send them a tweet from the Scary's account right now? Send them the deck. Send them the deck. Okay, I'll send them the deck now. A new deck. in the scariest account right now? Send them the deck. Okay, I'll send them the deck now. A new deck.

I've been using a card from a deck of cards as my bookmark. It's a joker. I use this one because I was like, I just have a stack of cards in a drawer at my place, and I was like, I'm going to use one that I don't care about, as if I'm ever going to do anything with these saved top deck cards, and I'm using a Patrick

Waugh card, and i realized because i was like if this something happens to this i don't care canadian's one at that but i started thinking about i was like wait but now i'm just the guy who always has a patrick wa card at the pool that's sick no one else can say that yeah but i don't want pat pat fuck patrick wa dylan calls him patrick roy no i know i know the know. I'm familiar. Is that spelled the same way as our old intern, Sydney? Her last name? No, I don't think so. No, she's W-O-Y.

Sydney Wa? God, I could... Patrick Wa is top five people I'd like to punch in the face. Yeah, he gave the stars some hell. Loser. Loser! He did win a Stanley Cup. Maybe maybe more not sure how many who won I don't really give a fuck come on whatever did he give the star somehow I feel like he did he

gave everyone hell dude he was the best keeper in the league for a long time I can put some respect on his name even though I hate him I think I think Avalanche fans will understand that even Nordiques fans might Canadian that. The Canadians. If that's how you even want to say it. It's the Canadians. Wow. Wow, Dave. Come on, man.

I'm not going to battle with you on this one. I'm not trying to battle all of Canada, but if that Vancouver area wants to smoke, come get it. It's a quaint little area. It's very close together. Anyway. Yeah, he was on the – Waugh was the goaltender when the Stars beat them in multiple game sevens. Western Conference Finals.

Pretty epically. Stars are up 2-0 now. I don't know if this will age well, but got a game tonight. Puck drop 930. Going to be pretty useless tomorrow. Shout out to me. My Golden Knights took one on the chin last night. Really?

They needed to be humbled. This is like, let's get it out of the way. They needed to be reminded that it's not that easy. You can't just roll through the playoffs. But we'll be back. Are you watching full Golden Knights games? Yeah. Dude, no.

No, you're not. You're watching Puck drop? You were in Verdansk all night last night. Yeah, you watching full Golden Knights games? Yeah. Dude, no. No, you're not. You were in Verdansk all night last night. Yeah, you said that's the text. You were on the Verdansk floor all night, dude. Okay, I didn't watch the whole game. I tuned in in the second period. Okay. Facts.

What was the score? Just curious. Big facts or just facts? The score was 3-0 when I tuned in. They didn't run off 7 unanswered like the Stars did against the Flames? Or maybe it was 3-1. Again, Calgary, come get the smoke. No.

What's it like having personal investment in hockey right now? Is it cool? But, yeah, I did get two solo dubs yesterday in Verdansk, for those who are wondering. It's weird because on the Twitch stream, we all looked like we'd never played the game before. Yeah, for those who watch the Twitch stream probably think that I'm just a complete liar,

and I get it based on my performance. You might be. No, I'm not. Oh, boy. Look up the stats, man. At D. Chivary. Look them up. I'm not going to do that.

I don't care. Yeah, it's okay. Hey, can we get some programming notes out of the way? You'd never ask. The road to 10K continues. Go follow us on Instagram at circlingbackpod. We're closer than ever. I'm so sick of being under 10K.

It's really annoying. It's honestly really embarrassing. The amount of listens we do versus the amount of people who follow us on Instagram is just embarrassing. That means there are people listening right now

who are not following. Yeah. And that's offensive. I find it offensive. Go follow all of us. Go follow us at circlingbackpod, at dshivery, at will to freeze,

at dcarteroth, no, at dcruff. Dcruff. At dc rough on instagram there you go add me on the group been a while since we heard him been a while since we heard him oh that's fun also leave a review and five star rating and every tuesday and friday we're on patreon patreon.com circling back podcast yesterday was worst of i think it might be releasing a little teaser episode of thest Of story on the main feed

for those of you out there who are just, you know, getting ready to do it, but not ready. We'll see. You got that five bucks just burning a hole in your pocket. Well, this is actually opto-tier. You got that ten bucks just burning a hole in your pocket, not sure what to do with it. Do you know who's on the $10 bill?

Is it Herbie Hancock? Yeah, noted jazz musician. What? What? uh is it herbie hancock uh yeah noted jazz musician what what herbie hancock yeah i was doing a uh tommy boy joke oh is that is i didn't i don't know that joke you don't you've seen tommy i've seen tommy boy but i haven't seen it in forever he was asked a question room he was asked a question and the answer was john hancock, but he filled in Herbie. Ah, Herbie Hancock. I've always been, when it comes to Tommy Boy, I've always just been, I think I was more of a Black Sheep guy when I was like, No, I'm not saying it's better, but I think I just watch more Black Sheep.

I caught a lot of smoke on Twitter for this tweet like five years ago, and I kind of agree. It's a bad take, but it's okay. It's your take. Tommy Boy is the original play. I just really like Black Sheep. And I kind of agree. It's a bad take, but it's okay. It's your take. Tommy Boy is the original play. I just really like Black Sheep. Black Sheep is funny, though. I think I just watched it more for some reason.

I don't really have an excuse for that. There was just a lot of, I don't know, the political stuff was just kind of funny. It's different. I don't know. Streamer. Save it for the streamer, Dylan. We've also got Happy Hour Live tonight.

Watch media on YouTube. YouTube.com slash washed media. Check it out. Tonight I might get off the rails. I might get drunk. I love it when you call your shot like that, man. That's fun. People are saying.

Well, you are more fun to be around when you're drunk. Tight. Sober you sucks. No offense. I know, but then I fall asleep at the table at Matt's El Rancho, and then the fun's over. But then we get a video out of it that goes off. We're also on Twitch, twitch.tv slash washedmedia.

Go subscribe or whatever you do. I don't know what you call it. Go sign up. Go do something. Go affiliate. Just watch our streams. We have fun. Last week on Thursday, throwback Thursday, I beat the living hell out of Dylan.

It was a three-game series, which I won. Yeah, I gave you the next two because I beat you so brutally on the first one. We turned assistants off, and I just put you over my knee. I felt bad. I just really gave it to you. I felt bad. And for those who watched yesterday on the Twitch stream, look, I'm sorry. It was not fun.

It was a bad performance. Not entertaining. Just got... The Verdansk floor was not kind to me. Or Dave, really. You weren't putting your chinos on anything out there. No, my chinos were dry. I'm sorry.

You're disgusting. That's weird. Dry chinos. Got weird. Have you guys also heard that it's National Dog Day? Before we get into it, it's presented by Bird Dogs. You know what Bird Dogs are by now. They're gym shorts with a built-in silky soft inner liner that makes underwear obsolete. Underwear? No thank you.

I'm not doing more laundry than I need to. I'm throwing my Bird Dogs in and just getting those things clean and then whipping them back out again. Underwear. Oh yeah. Please. And they dry quick. Yeah. Underwear. Oh, yeah. Please. And they dry quick. They're just great. If I come back from the pool with some shorts, you know,

I have to do the thing where I hang them up and it takes, like, all night to dry. The bird dogs, I feel like they're very quick. Yeah, you, like, put them over your, like, bathtub or something. Yeah. And they're just, like, damp shorts. The wife really likes that. They're so freaking comfortable, it's unbelievable. Dave and I went to the pool.

Your phone must have been down, Dylan, the other day. Dave and I went to the pool. Your phone must have been down, Dylan, the other day. Dave and I went to the pool, and Dave was wearing some Bird Dog swim trunks, and I was just like, why didn't I get those in the mail? Like, who do I need to talk to to get those in the mail? I have not received those. Dave's were good looking. The second I saw them, I was like, this is ridiculous, and I'm not wearing the exact same pair of these right now.

It's my favorite pair of shorts. Was his ass popping in them like I imagined that it was? All right. I'm going to plead the fifth on that one. Fair. I love my bird dogs, man. Gosh. You know the pants are just as comfortable.

And they fit like a glove. Well, not like a glove. They fit like pants. They're crazy soft. Yeah, it'd be weird if they fit like a glove because then they would just be gloves. But no, they're pants. Also have a liner. These are top-tier golf pants.

The second the temperature goes under 75, you might see these on the course. In more certain times, these are going to be the official golf pants of... David Ruff? Chill Dude Golf Trips. Oh, yeah. Go to Bird North, probably. Oh, you're going up north, huh? I want to.

You can't wear pants down here, too. I know. It's going to be 98 degrees in October. Shout to Nick Lachey. Go to birddogs.com and enter promo code STEAM, and they'll throw in a free Bird Dogs face mask, like a condom for your mouth. You'll get a free Bird Dogs face mask,

along with your pair of Bird Dogs. They're actually very quality masks. They feel like your auntie sewed it just for you. That's birddogs.com, promo code STEAM, and boom, a free Bird Dogs face mask with your pair of Bird Dogs. You will not take these things off. I promise you.

Hey, what are you boys doing for National Dog Day? Did you even know? When you woke up this morning, were you excited like it was Christmas because it was National Dog Day? I didn't know until I saw my son on the gram posing with his favorite dogs. Did you even know? When you woke up this morning, were you excited like it was Christmas because it was National Dog Day? Or were you just like, whatever? I didn't know until I saw my son on the gram posing with his favorite dogs that his mother put up. Oh, okay.

Yeah. I didn't know. So now I've got to find a way to celebrate with Stella. I know. Rosie was kind of wiling this morning. She's been eating breakfast at a really convenient time of 6 a.m. lately. And it's really fun and she i think she was just like wiling out this morning because she knew it's national dog day and she was like are you serious like you're not doing anything special right now

for me yeah like what's your problem dude what's your problem yeah i hear you we got a little something something for randy it's a surprise though listens, so I don't want to give it away. We need to do a Zilker trip soon. Yeah, we can. We can do that. Oh, Will and I actually went the other day. Oh, really? What time?

Fuck this phone, man. It's so frustrating. Like the most inconvenient time. Are you on Slack? It's weird. We just have all these text messages that have been sent to you that are just like floating out in the cloud. I'm getting frustrated, man. It's okay. It's okay.

Because I know it's not y'all. It's just the technology is just failing, and that's what's frustrating about it. Because y'all are my good friends. Are you on 3G? No. I got LTE. Oh.

You know, Verizon. It's usually very dependable. It's just been malfunctioning. Interesting. Maybe you need more megapixels. You know, Verizon. It's usually very dependable. I don't, it's just been malfunctioning. Interesting. Maybe you need more megapixels. That could be it. I don't know if the megapixels are going to help. You could get an iPhone 12 and have four cameras.

I'm going to be copying. There's too many cameras. I will be copying the 12. What do you, do you have a button on your phone right now, dude? Dude, no. I got the 10. Does Randy have a button on your phone right now, dude? Dude, no. I got the 10. Does Randy have a button on your phone? I just skipped the 11.

Randy, hold your phone up. Yeah, Randy's got a button. Do you have a pink phone, Randy? Dude, imagine pushing. Blink twice if you have a pink phone. Yeah, Randy's got a pink phone. Imagine picking up your phone and pushing a button. No.

What are you doing? No. What are you doing? Micah grabbed my phone one like recently and he was just trying to like find the button and i was like micah there's no button on this phone like micah it's 2020 no one's doing that yeah like stop like what do you want me to do yeah i'm getting the 12 though i've always said you need four lenses on your phone hey um i going to give you a real-time thought here. Dylan, you just quote-tweeted this young lady who says,

at D. Chivary, she's a Chivary or Chivary? Just like my reply to his tweet, and I'm fangirling in my office right now, dot, dot, dot, emoji. P.S. You are my favorite, dot, dot, dot, but don't tell Dave. Dylan, you quote-tweeted that with, hey, you see this, and you added me. I immediately, yeah. This young lady doesn't even follow me on Twitter, so I'm not surprised. She's obviously not a-

Oh, man. Lex, Lex, you got to follow Dave, man. No, you don't have to. He's strong on Twitter. It's fine if you don't. Honestly, she doesn't even follow Will. I'm looking through her deal here. Well, she follows me.

She follows you and Joe Biden. You're in good company. Dude, Dave, at least you even got like, you caught like a straight bullet here. Like, I'm not even on the scene. Yeah, Will was just like completely omitted. Yeah, like, actually, I'm going to mute her. Yeah, she's actually blocked. Yeah, I'm going to mute her.

She's officially been preemptively muted so if she ever follows me or tweets at me it's it's done i actually did that i did a preemptive block or not block uh mute this morning on ben shapiro i'm just tired of every time that i click on a trending topic like the first tweet that i see is ben shapiro think of it this way yeah i know anyone that guy stinks man dylan you we get tweets like this daily, and you never quote tweet and add somebody. I don't get these daily. What made you do this? I don't get these.

What made you do this one? Retweet this young lady. What made you do that? Oh, I brought something to your attention that she specifically said, don't bring to Dave's attention. So a little humor in there, but, you know. She told you specifically don't tell Dave, and you told Dave. Yeah. In front of the world. That's immediately what i did so it's fine i got too many followers anyway it's funny she doesn't follow y'all i'm bleeding twitter followers dude tell me about it i've been

bleeding followers for i don't know five years because of all your woke covid takes you deserve that it's not it's not no no that's. It's because of all your woke COVID takes. You deserve that. It's not. No. No, that's definitely it. It's because I gained a following being like the TFM guy. And luckily, I've started to shed that. And along with that is the followers, which is fine.

Because I'm getting more quality followers now. I'll say it. Yeah. I don't even know if I am. I feel like I'm bleeding quality followers. Yeah, you probably are. Like, I want to give a big shout out to all my new followers out there like i got love for you but i just feel like i feel like some of my quality homies are just dropping when i get a new follower i'm like i appreciate it but like what took you so long like why did i just now

earn your business like what about what am i even doing wrong well you thank all your new followers for following you i dm every one of them yeah it's like hey thank you for the fuck yeah go follow dylan and he'll he'll dm you right now with the thank you and i have that app that tells me if you've unfollowed so if you unfollow me i will dm you again be like hey what i do you have that on twitter or ig there's a there's a twitter one i don't actually i don't actually use it but there is one what's the what's the consensus on having that app? I'm not built to have it because I would just get way too petty. Not only will I unfollow you, but I'm going to let the air out on your tires. That's fucked up.

Well, have fun getting to work. It's better than slashing the tires. Hope you have Zoom. A Twitter unfollow is not a big deal. Yeah, a Twitter unfollow doesn't hurt. An Instagram unfollow is like, oh, fuck. You don't like how I look. What did I do? You don't like my life.

Yeah. I assume that when you unfollow me on Instagram, it's because I overpost my dog, and it is National Dog Day. And some people aren't dog people, and they're like, why do I even follow this guy anymore? I just post dog pics. And that's fine. If you want to live that life, go for it.

I've reached the point in my dog posting career where I'm posting less of Rosie, not because I don't like being around her and taking photos of her, which I'm still taking several. You definitely do. I'm just not posting as much anymore because it's like people don't care. People don't care about Rosie. I mean, they care about her, but they don't need to see her every day like I do. Right. Right.

Yeah. I have the Unfollow app, and it's mainly just purely out of pettiness, Dave. That's why I have it. Yeah, it's kind of one of the sneaky things about you that I think maybe people don't know is that you can be petty. I'm going to queue it up right now, actually.

I'm going to queue it up right now and let it do its loading thing. Does yours make you watch like a 90-second ad every time? What? Because mine does. I haven't used it in a long time, to be fair. Yeah. So I don't know.

Yeah, I don't use it as often as I could. But it does take a long time to load. It's pulling all the data. Is that what it does? Yeah. How does it work? It just pulls the data, and then it displays it. See, dude? I just got haters let's see if I follow anybody that unfollowed me the

who you follow doesn't follow back tab that's the one that stings the most that's just all brands dude you'd be surprised right now and it's like oh this person doesn't follow me anymore and I still follow them and then you hit him with the unfollow back dude it's probably because of your OU take from last year. Oh, Jalen Hurts? That was your most controversial tweet in years. Called him very average. You probably lost a significant portion of your audience.

Oh, I don't think that. You know, that's okay. T-Man stuck with me. He's a big OU guy. Ha! All right. We're having fun now. Come on.

Dave, don't you have a big announcement that you want to give to the people right now? You didn't tell us what this was beforehand because you really wanted to set the stage and just let us know how much this news meant to you. And it sounded like it was going to be something that kind of is going to change the whole dynamic of the podcast moving forward. Yes. Turns out I have the first pick in my fantasy draft. Really? Yeah.

Really? Oh, my goodness. That's big. Are you thinking about trading it? Are you going to keep it? Oh, my goodness. That's big. Are you thinking about trading it?

Are you going to keep it? Well, look, you're not going to just take the phone off the hook and block all calls. You're going to listen to anything that comes through. You'd be stupid not to. We have no plans at this point to trade it. Are you taking McCaffrey? Well, I'm not going to get into that, Dylan. But maybe.

Dude, what kind of league are you in? Like PPR? Yeah, it's PPR. You guys are like doing snake, huh? I might just take Holmes. If it's PPR, dude. I'm kidding. Just pick McCaffrey and you're in the playoffs.

Like you're there. Barring injury. What's this, his third year? Fourth year? Third maybe? Dude, he's a machine. I know. But you know how running backs be.

A bad game, he'll get you 22. Bad one. Well, everyone's texting me. The guy with the second pick, my buddy Jay, is like, hey. He's like, can you kind of let me know what you're thinking? So I know because he's like, you're going Saquon or McCaffrey. I don't think Jay's the type to play mind games. I don't know if there's any.

He's doing some psychology there. But Saquon never even – I never even thought about Saquon. Really? It's McCaffrey. Saquon catches that many passes? I don't think he does. Hard to say. It is.

He's got Jason Garrett back there now. Like, get out. I'm more of an agnostic McCaffrey guy. Get it? Because his name's Christian? Dude, that should be my fantasy team name. Satan is McCaffrey.

Oh, dude, that's sick. Yeah, what's your fantasy team name, Dave? That's what people really want to know. Can we choose it? I'll give you a chance. The floor is open.

Okay. Can I be a co-owner in your league? Can I just, like, can Iowner in your league? Can I invest in your team? Yeah, you could. That's a thing that happens for some reason, even though our league is not especially expensive. Although the dues have gone up

and I don't know where that money is going. The stacks are going up. There's some serious questions about this commissioner. Get Zeke number one. Nah. Dude, come on. Just get Zeke. Nah.

Come on. Come on, man. I'd love – I might go CeeDee Lamb. Dude, your group of guys has, like, drafting CeeDee Lamb too early written all over them. He's a second-round reach. Someone at your draft is going to get, like, absolutely hammered and then just draft CeeDee Lamb with their first first pick it'll be my buddy pete cowboy fan he'll he's he's reached he's reached for like that's he used to draft des in like the third round like at the end of des's

tenure as a cowboy and it's just like oh man i don't know about that i don't know what that one yes uh first pick and i know a lot of people, they've got a vested interest in what I'm going to do this year. I went to the finals last year, didn't work out. We're hoping to get back there, man. It's a grind. It takes a lot out of you. It's kind of surprising that we don't have, like,

just a fantasy league between, like, watch media. We should get in one and, like like have Randy do it and take it real seriously and then like we just don't even update our lineup oh that'd be too bad that'd be too bad I don't think anyone wants me in their fantasy league at this point I'm the owner that will draft the team and then just never do anything and just be the ass we we will find you for that if you don't set your lineup if you leave like a spot empty. It's a fineable offense. It's $20, just a slap on the wrist.

But it reminds you, you know, there's money on the line here. Have you guys decided punishments this year? So you know Ross, he got last last year, right? He got last last year, and I think he has to caddy for our commissioner, our winner, because we're playing golf more on that later. But I think Ross has to caddy and I do not envy him because it's very hot central Texas. Yeah.

It was either that or the, the shirtless Facebook. Oh yeah. For a week. Instagram pick. No context allowed. I think you need to bring that one back. That one is so good. I think you need to bring that one back for this year. That one is so good.

I think you need to. Do you guys decide on the punishment this year, like at the draft and everything? I don't know. Yeah. I don't even remember. Last year. I think y'all should each write. This will be the first year there's a punishment for last.

Okay. We've never really done that before. I think y'all should each write something on a piece of paper and then just pick one out of a hat and that's the worst punishment. No, because with this group, dude. and i mean i know everybody says that it's just but it'd be like you have to divorce your wife or something it's just like oh shit it would be like you have to like go uh walk into a cvs without a mask and like and then like yell at the clerk and then go viral on YouTube or something.

Like, it would just be like, okay, we can't really do that. And it would just be a moot situation. But, yeah, if anybody has any, you know, any thoughts, if there's – I don't know what the alternative to McCaffrey would be. I guess it's Saquon. But I'm going McCaffrey, I think. You should get, like, Barry Sanders or something. I was thinking about it. If you won the Fantasy EPL League that was put together by some backers,

feel free to DM me with confirmation that you won, because I did promise a gift certificate to the WASH Media store. But I have no clue who actually won this. And I was the guy who stopped setting my lineup once coronavirus hit, so I didn't really pay attention to anything after that. But if you're out there, I want to give you some merch. I feel bad. What are you going to send them?

Oh, and also, I've gotten a couple DMs from people asking me to set their fantasy football lineup. I don't want to do that, not because I don't want to do it, but because I don't want to do that to you. Have you really? Yeah. I don't know why. I've gotten two DMs't want to do it, but because I don't want to do that to you. Have you really? Yeah. I don't know why. I've gotten two DMs from dudes, and I'm like, you know what? I don't even know who some of these people are on this list.

If you gave me the top 25 fantasy players right now, I could probably actually tell you the position of 40% of them. Damn. I'm out the game. It's all right, man. Look, it's fun. I still have a lot of fun doing it. Dude, shut up.

Shut up. Dude, I'm going to keep you guys updated week by week. Thank you. We were hoping for that. Wire moves, acquisitions, trades. Should we get a ticker around the entire lodge that just kind of has the stats and running news and stuff? LED ticker. My parents would never buy me one of those.

I just wanted a sports ticker. Would you rather have fantasy updates or Randy's Bears poster that's out there in the lobby? That Bears poster is going to get ripped down real quick. Randy came in with two items to hang on the wall. One was a Moosehead beer bar sign, which absolutely slaps and looks incredible. And then the other one was just a Bears offensive line. Black and Blue Brothers won. He doesn't even know

which team that's from. I like the Blues Brothers, but I don't like the Black and Blues Brothers. The average weight of that O-line is like 262. That's being generous. Those guys aren't sniffing the field. Yeah, there's not a single household name on that O-line.

No. Not one. Somebody's going to prove that there's like three Hall of Famers on there. Like, Dylan, if the year's like 1960, do you think you could play in the NFL if you were built like you are right now? No, stop. 1960? Yeah, you absolutely could.

Like I am right now? All you had to do. I'm like, I have no muscle. Dude, Jerry Jones was on the o-line at arkansas that wasn't 1960 was it was it what was like the 50s maybe it was 1960 i don't know um it might have been yeah i would have to gain significant weight i'm going to play in 1960 if you were above six six feet which you are and you weigh 200 pounds, which I don't know if you do currently, but you could vary. With one week of

avocados, you're there. You're playing football. I'm prototypical cornerback size in modern day football. Or like a freshman safety who needs to put on 10-15. Just to lay the wood. That's never stopped you before.

You don't lay wood? My dimensions are's never stopped you before. You don't lay wood. My dimensions are just prototypical corner. I'm a first-rounder. Oh, are you? At corner. So you can't play in 1960, but today you're a first-round draft pick. Just my height and weight is what I'm talking about. If you're modern-day prototypical corner, what are you 1960?

You would be like LeBron. they had never seen an athlete like you there's nothing special about no but like I'm just saying guys in this in the 60s weren't built like that most of them I don't even know like if you took my stats like I don't even know what sport someone would direct me to badminton it's like what uh Mr Ruff, the pickleball court is over here. You're sneaky not short, though. No, thank you. Appreciate that. They'd be like, I don't know, you'd be like trying to make a corn fairy tour or something. Yeah, like, let's give this guy a 7-iron and see what he can do with it.

That's the thing that people always say at the backer meetups. They're always like, dude, I can't believe how tall Will is. I just thought he put off like 5'9 vibes. Oh, dude. I ruined Dan's life when I told him that at Grand Exit. I thought he was 5'9. That's the sneakiest tall guy you'll ever know in your life. He stood up, and I was like, oh, you're not 5'9.

But in my head for the last three years, you have been. Yeah, he's, like, actually 6'. I still feel bad about that. Now I look at Dan as a tall man. But, like, for three years, I thought Dan was just, like, a normal height. Because he's built like a weight room meathead guy who's just like wider than he is tall, but he's not. And it also depends on whether or not he comes in with his hair like brushed forward over his eyes or if he's got the Scott Kahn going like flipped up behind his hair.

Scott Kahn is a different level. Scott Kahn, Dan, is just the best. Scott Kahn is like 5'6", by the way. Yeah, I think that when he puts the Scott Kahn haircut on, that's when it's like, oh, is he sneaky short? Or tall because of the hair? Is that why Scott Kahn does his hair so ridiculously up and back? Just to give him some more height.

I would respect that. Yeah. Speaking of hair, should we talk about hymns real quick? Yes. We know about hymns. You know about hymns. You know about hymns. This isn't just for guys that are bald. This is for people that might be going bald.

We've got backers that are reaching out to us at a rapid clip that are just like, yo, this worked for me preventatively and otherwise. Take preemptive measures, but also, as we've seen at the guy who posted in the Reddit, he's regrown a lot of hair and looks fantastic. There's proof in our Reddit page. That was nice of that dude to document that. It was. A lot of guys wouldn't do that,

but I think he wanted to flex how good his hair looked, and it worked. Yeah, lush. 66% of men start to lose their hair by age 35, and once you've noticed thinning hair, it can be too late. I'm not saying it is too late, but it can be too late.

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There's no snake oil pills or gas station counter supplements don't have to worry about that yeah i took those snake oil pills they don't do anything yeah yeah just a mistake what were you taking them for for your hair for my hair oh i'm sorry do anything nothing why would why i don't understand why people would take snake oil pills for hair when the snakes don't have hair i know i'm just doing fish oil but not a single hair on them like they don't snakes don't have hair. Now I'm just doing fish oil, but not for hair. No, single hair on them. They don't have hair, so don't take that. That makes sense. Y'all think Brett has good flow? He takes HIMS.

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who will determine if a prescription is appropriate for you. Restrictions apply. See website for full details and important safety information. Remember, that's 4hims.com slash steam. It's such a huge endorsement that Brett started using that when he was younger, and now he can go out in central Texas and play golf without a hat on and not get his scalp burned. That's how thick his hair is.

Yeah. Do you know how, like, when I played with him last, he did that, and you know how in-your-face that is to me? That is such a shot at me personally. Is that why you whipped his ass? I did whip his ass. Not like at like physical physical violence oh well no that was that that was the pitch deck thing oh yeah just all i ask is you listen to me i'm playing golf with brett on thursday evening and if he goes out without a hat i'm gonna be a little you will maybe a little

annoyed you got enough up there to yeah but it's different in te to... Yeah, but it's different in Texas, man. It is. I agree. It's different in Texas. With the heat and stuff, you have to get the shade. And I would prefer to always play golf without a hat on. I want it to be overcast and 64 degrees, and I want it to be that weather at all times when I'm playing. I don't want

to have to worry about sun protection. I'm not going to bring up your scalp issues, okay? Hey, Dylan. Oh, dude, thank you. I made that you made that mistake last thank you that's what i like about texas dq uh-huh the texas stop sign yeah you guys gotta stop calling it that you don't stop when you see a d no no what you're supposed to man no d I'm going to DQ you. No one calls it the Texas stop sign outside of Texas. Dude, yes, they do. Outside of Texas. No, they don't.

Man, you've never just driven through big country and just stopped and gotten a blizzard. You've never gone out to a snake farm. Dude, I live blizzards, Dave i don't i don't i don't no you're right i don't no i do love a blizzard though shot at the brownie batter when we finally drive out to lubbock on seven and a half hour drive whatever it is we're gonna we're gonna stop at every dairy queen every texas stop sign we're gonna obey the law and we're gonna stop we're gonna get we're gonna get a different blizzard first one's heath bar next one's reese's what's your favorite heath bar heath bar is underrated i properly rate it okay it's tier one

okay you're correct you did properly it's always in the mix when i pull up unless they have some special one that's not not always on the menu you know dylan just gets vanilla butterfinger yeah dylan's like yeah can you just mix up the vanilla ice cream and serve it to me? The answer is Butterfinger, folks. Butterfinger's good. Dude, do you remember in college when I laid my finger on your Butterfinger? Yeah, and then I whipped your ass? Yeah, I was a little excessive.

Yeah, well, you put a finger on it. Can we talk about broccinis real quick? Okay. What is this? It sounds like you're setting up an ad read. No, we're not. Not an ad. No.

Brokinis, man. If brokinis, if they decided to approach us regarding their product lineup, I would respectfully decline. And be like, yeah, thanks, but we're good, fam. How did this even, I didn't even see this on Twitter, and Dylan was like, dude, you see this brokini stuff? It was all over the TL the last few days. This is unsightly. I had some trouble loading the website, and I'm hoping it's not because they're just overloaded with traffic of people purchasing these things. Are they doing the thing that that Instagram-based ladies' swimsuit company was doing where they were sending everybody red bathing suits or whatever if they posted something.

That was a fun little experiment. I didn't hate it. The chick was hot. Yeah, and she was all over everything. Yeah. I cannot imagine pulling up to the pool with this. No. Dude, the junk is just all in the face.

If someone's not watching on YouTube, can one of you describe what we're actually seeing here? just all in the face. If someone's not watching on YouTube, can one of you describe what we're actually seeing here? So a brokini is a, it's a male bikini, obviously, and it's just like a bikini bottom with one over-the-shoulder strap.

That's it. That's what the thing is. But it's very revealing, and it reveals as much as a bikini bottom would. You need to manscape if you're getting a brokini. You have to do more than manscape, I think. You know what my issue with this is you just have one i mean i have numerous but my biggest issue with the brokini it has nothing to do with the lack of coverage it has

nothing to do with the fact that it doesn't cover the nipple even though it goes up there it's solely that i'm not going to walk into a bar with a on a bachelor party with my shirt unbuttoned and have a tan line that goes across my chest like the brokini offers you. I didn't even think about the tan line part of this. Yeah, that's not good. Imagine what this looks like when this guy sits down. Yeah, it really showcases the junk here. More so than a Speedo because

it pulls up. Yeah, it's like pulling it. Yeah, exactly. It's not just pulling one particular area up. It's pulling the whole package up. That's just going to present a lot of problems when you sit down. Package on display. It's just – this is not good. I don't know if it's a joke.

You do it as like a novelty thing. Like, oh, I'm going to pull my wear a brokini this weekend at the pool. I don't know. This could be your last place for your fantasy league. Would you – okay, here's a question for you. That's why they just released him. Wow. You're in Vegas for a bachelor party.

Okay? You have the option of the pool day where everyone gets a cabana. You have the option of wearing a brokini for the duration of that pool time. Or, for the rest of the weekend, you have to wear a romp hem the entire time. Oh, you knock it out of the pool. You get that done at the pool? Yeah. You can't be the dude in the...

You'll probably get denied. Would you get denied from a club if you show up in a romp hem? If I go to the Chainsmokers show and I'm all hopped up on Molly, are they going to be like, no, dude. I'm choosing romp hem.

I just can't. I don't know. I'll be very uncomfortable in this. But your body's made for this. No, it's not. I don't have the thighs, the quads to show that much leg. People know that about me. I'm worried that I'm getting gains on my legs from the Peloton.

You're worried about that? No, I'm happy with that. I would like that. I would like some muscle definition. I'm worried that my significant amount of leg hair is stopping people from realizing these gains. Does that make sense? Not really.

What I'm saying is I'm going to shave my legs this weekend. No, you're not. I need someone to trim my leg hair so they can see more. Dude, Sally was in here in the mail and talking about how her Peloton experience has been making her thicker in all the right places. Can you confirm? I don't speak publicly regarding my wife's body.

Yeah, way to go, Dylan. I called you Willen. She spoke about it first. I mean, I... Did you measure your thighs? No, I should. You should, actually. No, my old... The only reason I know that my thighs are actually getting bigger

is because my old shorts that have the liner, the bird dogs ones are made for daddy thighs. My old shorts are not made for daddy thighs, and so therefore if I ever try to work out in them, I'm like, I wish I had my bird dogs on instead because these things are just too tight. High five with Daddy Fazz. I like to be hit two or three inches above the knee.

That's my comfort zone. Any more than that's like... I remember your old gym shorts. Those are gym shorts, though. That's different. What inseam do you even wear? When you're shopping for shorts... He's eight. I like eight, yeah. Do you really? I was meaning that as an insult.

Eight for me is beyond a knee. I'm totally not insulted by that. You should be. You're just like high waters when you wear an eight inseam. It's like Capri. Eight is perfect for me. Okay. Capri over here.

Okay. I'm not ashamed. Okay. I don't think you should be ashamed. I think eight is totally normal. My legs are pretty skinny from the knee up, but guess what? I like my legs, and I'm happy with them, and if you're not, then that's a you problem. I don't think you are happy with your legs. Oh, I am. I like my legs. I'm happy with them and if you're not then are you that's a you problem i don't think you are happy with your legs i am i like my i don't think you are

you shouldn't be i mean i would seem very i would i would change some things about them but you know overall like i'll take my legs over a lot of legs out there well let me tell you this i've got an update i've got a new follower alert and will you probably do too i don't know if her ears are ringing she knew we were talking about her but But this young lady that Dylan, for whatever reason, quote tweeted, she's now following us. I wouldn't know because I muted her. Preemptively. Sorry. Oh, Dave said, oh, new follower alert.

So he's already on top of it. Nice. Not sure. Don't care. Why is the dude in the bro... Oh, whatever. I'm just... His fake mustache, it makes real mustache guys like us.

It's just like, dude, what are you doing? Yeah, that's why this gives me novelty vibes. They're not really taking it too seriously. They're not. It's just a viral marketing. Let's not even say the name of the company. Their flamingo design is called the Bromingo. Dude, they've got to stop with this.

What's the next thing that's going to come out? Like, we've got Romp Him, Brokini. Yeah. What do you guys think about this? The dudes who – so I'm a pool guy now. I'm a swimmer. I swim often. Guys who swim in the Speedo, like just for recreational swimming,

because there's many of them. Are you going to do it? Not only do they do Speedo, some guys who are embarrassed to do the Speedo, like just for recreational swimming because there's many of them. You have to be kind. Are you going to do it? Not only do they do Speedo, some guys who are embarrassed to do the Speedo, they'll just do like the compression short like that goes down

halfway down their thigh that's black and very tight. I feel like that's what I would do. I just, I swim in Bird Talks. I don't know. Do I need, I don't want to be,

I'm not good enough to like warrant less friction. If you're just in there for exercise, you're not trying to like to cut seconds off your time. I guess if I was doing triathlon stuff. That creates drag.

What if you just turned your bird dogs inside out? And you wore the liner on the outside? Or I just cut off the cloth and just wore the liner. Yeah. Oh. Wow. Well, the color would be a problem when I got out. Why?

Might be see-through. Oh, okay. Maybe not. It's like a neon. Oh, okay. Maybe not. It's like a neon. It's fine. It's not white. I'm just saying there's a lot of people who take it. They're walking through the indoor pool scene by the sauna,

and they're already in their swim gear. And it's just like, dude, you're showing a lot right now, dude. Maybe you wear some shorts. You can just make some tearaways. Just walk into the pool. Yeah, I would never be comfortable in a Speedo, and not because of my legs, just because I don't want my junk to be that much on display, you know? Just, I don't know.

You know what? I think it's unfair. A lot of people do want that. I think it's unfair that girls get boyfriend jeans and we don't get girlfriend jeans. People do want that. I think it's unfair that girls get boyfriend jeans and we don't get girlfriend jeans. What if you get a boner and a Speedo? Dude, people are always wondering that.

I've always wondered that. Boners happen. We know that. I don't know. You should be going. Are you getting NRBs at your age? Like, is your T that high right now? Might be, actually. No, I don't get any nrbs but

uh i get rbs i only get nrbs on airplanes and i think it's because like of the light like you know i'm talking about no dude i get them yeah that's really yeah it's the only time okay i think it's because the slight turbulence might just trigger something. Man, remember the NRBs of the kids? Just nonstop. If you're getting after it and you're getting some gains and you're really just giving to hell, you shouldn't get random boners in your Speedo because your blood flow is going to be hitting the muscles.

Yeah, it's got other places to worry about. Yeah, it's like, dude, I don't have time to go down there. I mean, to be fair, I don't get NRBs in my regular swim trunks, so I don't know. But at some point in my life, it would have been a concern. Are you walking around Nordstrom just looking at clothes, just freaking out? Like, what if I get a boner in this? That's the first question you ask me. It's unhealthy, Dylan.

No, no, I don't get them anymore. But there was a point in my life where I got them pretty frequently, and being in a Speedo, I couldn't have done it. Like Christine in the men's section, you're like, hey, Christine, can I ask you a question? Do you know what happens if you get a boner in these chinos? She's like, no, I don't. She's like, I just had someone else come in here and ask that, and he said he was going to some bar on 6th Street. He had a beard.

How would you describe your facial hair, Dylan? That's rude. What? I was just thinking about this because the guy, the models for Brokini, he's got a mustache. A fake mustache. Do you have a mustache with scruff or do you have a beard at this point? Right now it's looking more beardy, but some days it looks like a mustache with scruff. Yeah.

It depends on what phase i'm in the reason i ask is because the other day i was like you know what what if i did a mustache with some scruff and i looked it up and like the first photos that show up are like john han henry cavalry cavill and i'm like oh i look so hot and then i like started thinking about it more and i was like wait i don't have a. Those guys are all very chiseled faces. Yeah, it's like shit. Yes. Henry Cavill, he's like the guy now. Oh, yeah.

That is a hunk. He's a beefy lad. You don't want to see Jon Hammond a brokini. Obviously, I've just experimented with the different lengths of scruff around the stache. The stache is staying for the foreseeable future i don't know we're still figuring it out you know the results on my stash journey are very positive i'm getting a lot of people saying like this you actually need to keep this so i don't know i'm gonna probably let the scruff grow in a little bit and just kind of keep it down with maybe the manscaped stuff or whatever.

Styles are cyclical. What does the most important person in your life think about that mustache of yours? Randy? Yeah, what does human Randy think? I don't care. Dude, I'm going to out her. She said, is this the best you've ever looked? Wow.

Because I'm very tan because I've been swimming, and Will was nice enough to invite me to the pool. Dylan should have been there. Shit. And she's like, you know, she's like, I hate – I think she hates how much she likes the stache. Okay, fair. I think I'm telling tales out of school.

Interesting. It's looking strong. Yeah. I'm wondering, like, maybe, because I don't want to be, like, curled up Raleigh Fingers guy. It does come out pretty. I'm thinking about cleaning that up a little bit. Yeah, it goes low. I don't know what.

I don't know. We'll see. All right. Okay. I'm not sure. Everybody's just waiting on Will I don't know how I feel about it yet I think I like it

I think I like it just remember that you're facial hair privileged when you answer when you respond to stuff like that I know when you shave your face bare raw

do you want me to do it how long does it take you to go back like a full beard yeah three weeks that's nothing. So what I do, if I shaved it with a razor right now,

if anyone wants to sponsor this podcast that sells razors, you're more than welcome to because Dave and I just ran out of ours. Went to Costco yesterday. Do you get me any? I have a ton of razors, actually. I just need like two. Yeah, I can do that. Yeah, but if I do clean shaven,

what my plan of action normally is is that I just don't touch my face for three weeks. Well, you shouldn't in these uncertain times. Yeah, and so after three weeks, I have enough of a base that I can start sculpting. But it's been tough on me, man. With this whole COVID thing, I've been unable to get my beard trimmed for the last however long well i'm really sorry to hear that it's a it's a sob story unfortunate i had uh i had some talk shows reach out to me regarding this trying time for me but i declined what talk maury yeah maury wanted to talk about like people that were really struggling and i was like i don't know like

this guy cannot get his beard i would have done it but I want to air out you know like I respect that the girl who cuts our hair I respect that she has her rules and so she won't do your beard I don't want her to I I was gone okay haircut I would rather sit there mask on yep yeah I respect that there are a couple things I wish she would do and I could like move the mask but I'm too afraid to ask, so I'm not going to ask her to do that. What if you just hold your breath? I don't know if that works. How long do you think you can hold your breath

for? I tried this recently. It didn't go that well for me. You can do a minute, you think? I did a minute recently. But at the minute, I was dying. I could just hear somebody. I could hear them outside of the water say the time, and once I heard 60, I was like, I'm out. Got to go.

They always say you can hold it for way longer than you think. You just maintain calm. It's hard to do. You just got to do the dead man's float. Right. That's actually what I'm doing when I go to the pool. Exert no energy. Just dead man's floating and hoping it takes me to the other end.

I do wonder how long I could tread water for. I think gun to my head. I could lose life or death. I think I could do 30 minutes. Why don't you just grab on to the thing the dude's floating in. Or is the guy also treading water with you with a gun to your head?

Yeah. No, he's on a swan float. Ah, okay. No, I think 30 minutes. that's like no just dead man's floating. Not talking about just surviving, just straight up treading. That might be crazy. If you told me, like Dave, that you're overestimating your ability to tread, I would say you might be right.

Yeah, I couldn't really ballpark it. But definitely five minutes, right? Yeah. What do the seals do? They do, like, the brick thing? They do all kinds of crazy stuff. I think they have to tread for an hour at a minimum, even without the brick. Well, seals can, like, hold their breath for, like, an hour, can't they?

Like, they're always just down there. There's a phase where they have to go. Or that kind of seal, yeah. Underwater, they got to go down and back. I think it's a 50-meter pool, maybe 25. Oh, that kind of seal, yeah. Under water, they've got to go down and back. I think it's a 50-meter pool, maybe 25, down and back without coming up for air. And a lot of guys don't make it. That's one of the tougher parts of the water phases.

How long do you think seals, not Navy seals, how long do you think actual seals, not actual seals, Navy seals are actual seals as well. Sorry, I sound like I disrespect you. The animal. You say the animal, you freak. The mammal. The aquatic mammal. We're mammals actual seals as well. Sorry. I sound like I disrespect you. The animal. You say the animal. You freak. The mammal. The aquatic mammal. We're mammals too.

Seals are mammals too. How long do you think they can hold their breath for? 20 minutes. I'll say, I'm going to say eight minutes. You guys are mistaken. This is very short. Never underestimate a seal. About two hours.

How do they do it? How do they do it? How do they do it? It's hard to say. Why are people just so inefficient at some things? I don't know. Like, do you want to know how they do it? Whales, are whales even longer? You've got to think.

Yeah. They'd just be chilling down there. They are, dude. Whales are low-key mammals, right? Yeah, the blue whale is the biggest mammal in the world. Are whales even longer? You've got to think. Yeah. They'd just be chilling down there. Whales are low-key mammals, right? Yeah, the blue whale is the biggest mammal in the world. They are low-key mammals, yes. They have blowholes. But a shark is not a mammal.

No. A lot of people make that mistake. Diving mammals will slow their heart rate, stop their breathing, and shunt blood flow from their extremities to the brain, heart, and muscles when they're starting to dive. Shunt a word? That's a new one. I'll shunt you. Nationalgeographic.com just told me it was.

Wilst? Wilst shunting? Good Wilst shunting? No, we're not doing that. That's pretty good. We're not doing that. That was pretty good. I made something out of nothing there.

What if a dude in high school, in high school, Dylan just had to move the runner over into scoring position, and he tried to lay down a bunt, but he just shit his pants. He just shunted. No, Dylan, any time that the manager told Dylan to go up and bunt, there's no way Dylan bunted. He's like, no, dude, I'm taking big boy cuts. Dylan, come on. You got to do what the coach says.

You're like, I'll advance the runner all the way to home plate, bitch. You'll find your ass on the bench if you don't. Please. You never bunted once. I did. Of course I bunted. You were probably scared to hurt your pretty little fingers. Oh, get out of here, man.

No. Manager. I was actually a pretty good bunter. Yeah, I'm sure you were. Dink. Yeah, that was the sound of me bunting. Playing small ball. Gosh.

Sometimes you just got to move them over. It's the smart play although i hate you know you hate giving up that out yeah yeah let's talk about some sleep wait so how long does the name the the actual seal the animal like a navy seal no no i'm sorry two hours two hours two hours long time that's crazy yeah damn like you can watch a you can watch a full like a full-length movie down you could watch like a seal could watch goodwill hunting down there if he wanted to be weird but he could he couldn't watch uh we way to spend his time as a seal he couldn't watch that whatever that scorsese netflix one was the other

came out during christmas the irishman he needed the irishman yeah i never saw that it's not great. I think I overrated it because I wanted it to be something. I'm not mad that I watched it, but they could have trimmed off a little bit. They need to cut an hour and 15 minutes off the movie and it would have been solid. That's a lot of movie. I get it, but that's how much extra it was. You got Pacino.

I like Scorsese, and I don't know why I was more into Once Upon a Time in Hollywood over... Because that was almost three and a half hours, wasn't it? Was it that long? It was long. It was long. I really enjoyed it. Last 20 minutes were just... Oh, it was 2.40. You didn't give us the

Leo meme, too. 2.40. Which is great. Was that what that's from? Yeah, I didn't even know that. That's funny. Yeah, you learn something new every day. How about it? Let's talk about Psalm Sleep real quick. Are that what that's from? Yeah, I didn't even know that. That's funny. Yeah. You learn something new every day. How about it? Let's talk about SOM sleep real quick. Are you guys aware of this? Yeah. It's a sleep drink in a small can.

I stay drinking this stuff. Berry-flavored baby. Helps you fall asleep in as little as 30 minutes and you wake up feeling refreshed. Sure do. You ever heard of this little thing called melatonin? Huh. Yes. Because it's in there.

There's a lot of stuff in here, actually. Not only is it available in both 24 and's a lot of stuff in here, actually. Not only is it available in both 24 and 12 packs, you can get little boy stacks or big boy stacks with these, but it's also available in original and zero sugar options with ingredients that are naturally found in your body, such as magnesium and melatonin, like I just said. And look, the stuff just tastes good. Even the sugar-free one tastes pretty good. Everything aside, it just tastes good. It tastes so good.

I was just drinking them the other day, like during the day, and then I took a little cat nap. You took a little siesta? Yeah, I took a little cute cat nap. Dude, don't sleep on magnesium. Or actually do sleep on it, but like don't. You know what I'm saying? Because like magnesium is good. Dylan, you work out.

You're a workout guy. It's good for your recovery. Clearly I do. Yeah. They sent us some packs. I got a 24-pack of the sugar, free and the regular. Just sitting in my apartment. I've had them.

I slept like a baby. I'm not going to be that guy, but I'm out. Just saying. I would love another pallet. It's a great product. Straight up, we got pallets. I was drinking this stuff every night. I mean, if people are curious to try a sleep drink, for the first time ever,

Somp Sleep is giving away free samples and who doesn't love free samples? Think about that. I'm thinking, who doesn't like free samples? No one's coming to mind.

Nobody. No one's coming to mind. Nobody I know. I mean, all you have to do is sign up at getsom.com slash pages

slash podcast. That's G-E-T-S-O-M dot com slash pages slash podcast and you can get-E-T-S-O-M dot com slash pages slash podcast. And you can get it hooked up. Make it happen. Make it happen. It's good stuff.

You guys hear about this new species of super giant isopod? Dude, I haven't. This is literally, I've not seen this. I've been, oh my God. Did you know what an isopod was before this? No, I thought that's just like one of our pods that we launched and just kind of bailed on. I always thought Sunday Scaries was an isopod because I just do it solo. But as it turns out, it's not.

I guess an isopod is just an order of crustaceans that includes wood lice and their native relatives. I don't even know what a wood lice is, dude. This thing does look like a giant lice. Dude, that creeps me out when they show the microsoft view microsoft the micro uh oh my god microscopic view of the fucking flea or whatever or a tick or something it looks like that it looks just like this so this happened near indonesia i don't like this at all uh in this article, it's described as colossal. It's a giant, super giant isopod that was recently yanked from the ocean waters near

Indonesia, and scientists have affectionately dubbed the genus the Darth Vader of the seas. Okay, Darth Vader, I see more Predator in the face of this thing. Is there another view? What? You just aired yourself out to just get a Dylan joke. Why? What'd I say? The movie The Predator.

I know. What did he say? But you can't call it The Predator of the Sea. That's not what I said. Is that like the chicken of the sea? I didn't say of the sea. Okay. Whatever, dude.

But they called it this, Dylan, not because of it. They called it this due to is buzzed like helmet head yeah what dude i'm telling you it looks more like predator than darth vader this just looks like a sampler platter at a seafood restaurant like you have like two lobster tails you have many shrimp can we eat this thing i don't think you can i don't think there's meat on these things these don't have if there's meat and crawfish there's meat in this no these are all bone this is one of those things where it takes you 45 minutes to rip it apart and get it ready to eat, and then it's not worth it. And it's like an ounce of meat? Yeah.

I'm not naming names. What are you doing if you're like... Indonesia, that's a pretty popular vacation destination for rich people, right? Do people go to Indonesia? I do not know. Do not know. I'm sure some people do. People have been there.

I know that. Yeah, I know. Definitely. It's quite the population center. This thing is gross. It looks like a big cockroach. I feel like the Kardashians go to Indonesia and stuff.

I don't know. I've never been there. What do you do if you're just swimming along and then all of a sudden this cockroach that's the size of a Yorkshire Terrier swims up next to you

and is like, what up? I'm going to swim somewhere else. No, this puts off vibes of a bottom dweller. It's down at the bottom. Unless you're going deep sea, you're fine. This thing's not catching party waves. No, I think this thing might be catching party waves, dude.

That's the last thing. Give me a great white that just takes me out immediately rather than this thing that just touches me and creeps me out and I just die via vibes. Can vibes kill? See, look at that. Yeah, Predator. That's the Predator, man.

Yeah. Just imagine him just creeping through the jungle going after Arnold. Go on, do it. Kill me. Carl We it. Kill me. Carl Weathers. Kill me. Dylan, you son of a bitch. What are you waiting for?

Are we discovering new species because these new species are breeding with other things, or are we discovering new species because we have the technology to find things that have been around for hundreds of years? It's a tech. Oh, millions. They're going to come out and be like, dude, you know this thing is like 2 million years old, and it will live forever in a vacuum You know how many legs it has?

It's crazy 14 That's too many legs That's a weird number of legs if you think about it You know No a weird number would be like 15 Like if it had an uneven amount of legs Who's this psycho just grabbing it with his bare hands?

I don't know These things look like they should be zoomed in on a microscope in order to look at. Microsoft, I think is what you're looking for. Microsoft. That's good. Yeah. Microfish. Instead, like, this dude's just holding it like it's his dog.

It is a, he's a very, he's giving it like the Simba. He's doing the Nasa Venya right now. Yeah, he's presenting it to the kingdom. It's an eviction of us. Stop. Yeah, we know what it's the kingdom. It's an eviction of a... Stop. We know what it's from. Give us your best... I'm not going to do that.

I'd be too embarrassed. Do your best Kimberly Guilfoyle. Who's that? You didn't do the Guilfoyle challenge? She's this inexplicable screaming lady from the RNC the other night. Oh, yeah. I don't know who she is. Yeah, I don't. Is this Hatch Act that's trending on Twitter right now?

Is that because of the Hatch Chili Fest at Central Market? What is it? It's the Hatch Act. You've got to think that's not what it's about. No, it's definitely not. Oh, okay. I would have believed you. I was like, yeah.

Yeah, I don't know if you guys have been to Central Market recently, but do you guys know it's Hatch Chili Fest? Really? Yeah. That's huge. You know what's also interesting about Hatch Chili? Let's do a pod. They're never out of season.

Then why is there, like, a time when people eat them and a time when people don't? It's a marketing campaign. Really? They have Hatch Chili everything there, dude. Is that like McDonald's? They have Hatch Chili Oreos. Is that like McDonald's? Like, oh, chili Oreos. Is that like McDonald's?

Like, oh, the McRib's back. Like, ribs are always available. They just only serve them like a few months out of the year. No, the McRib's different, dude. You can't just get a McRib there all the time. That's what I'm saying. What? I'm saying even though ribs are always available.

And ribs! They don't always serve them. They make you wait for them. Yeah. I'm making a point here. There's a point to be had. You just wanted to swat out of my face. All I know is I don't want to wait for Hatch Chili Fest to be over.

I don't want to wait. I reached out to Central Market last year because after Hatch Chili Fest, they did Passport United Kingdom where they just had a bunch of meat pies in their pre-made food section. It was the greatest week of my life, hands down. Meat Pie Monday. It's been way too long since I've had a meat pie.

Yeah. It's almost meat pie season two. I reached out to them directly and they responded back and said that they were unfortunately not going to do Passport United Kingdom again. I might reach out again and be like, hey, back in 2018, you guys did this. Do you want to bring it back? Because you have one very satisfied customer. Our meat pie plug, of course, is closed in Austin.

Why don't you just learn how to make them yourself? I'd rather just overpay for them somewhere. That's understandable. Whatever. It's a pie of meat, David. What don't you get? No, I'm just still thinking about the isopod. Why?

I hate this thing. I don't know. I don't like knowing that that stuff is out there. Aren't we looking for isomods on Twitch right now? Just DM Randy. We already got them. So don't DM Randy? Yeah. Just DM Randy a fun fact about yourself instead.

Like your favorite food. Two truths and a lie with Randy. Yeah, exactly. Make Randy decide what's the truth and what's a lie. Let's do this week at a fun. As always, presented by Miller High Life. High Life! Miller High Life brings the pride to the simple things in life.

It's an unpretentious quality beer, as you know, with refreshing champagne-like tiny bubbles in an iconic glass bottle that's accessible to all. You know why they call it the Champagne of Beers? Because of those tiny little bubbles, Dylan. Yeah, I know, man. Champagne. Celebrate the wins of every day with Miller High Life. Big or small, there are moments within every day worth celebrating.

Celebrate with Miller High Life, the Champagne of Beers, a high-quality beer within everyone's reach. They even have the cans out there that have the little champagne thing on them. It's a beautiful thing to see. They're just so aesthetically pleasing. Beautiful can. You might catch me drinking one

during Happy Hour Live tonight. Sir? Mm-hmm. Okay. I won't stop you. We'll see. We'll see. Dude, Will's getting reckless.

Dude, if the weather's hot, High Life's the spot. Wow, you just made that one up. It's really good. Is that in the copy or is that a Will original? That was just your boy. That was right out of your brain. That was just your boy. When I get done with a long day of work and I'm just looking to have an honest brew,

you just go to the fridge, you just grab one of those out, crack it. Right. Maybe call your boy up, be like, hey, how was your day? Don't text. You can't text while drinking a Miller High Life. Please don't. Your grandpa wouldn't like that. Please don't call me while drinking a Miller High Life.

I'm going to call you tonight. I'd rather not talk to you. I'm going to call you at 6.30 tonight before Happy Hour Live and crack a Miller High Life and have a little conversation. Why? You're going to see him for like 50 minutes at least. Your phone's going to ring. And instead of saying hello i'm just

gonna go hopefully this one actually comes through yeah might not either way miller high life the champagne of beer is a quality beer within everyone's within everyone's reach celebrate responsibly miller brewing company milwaukee wisconsin dylan what are you doing this weekend um i have i have nothing on the books. I have Parks Friday. Okay. I would like to go to Zilker Park at some point with Parks and with Stella. I've had the itch lately, so.

Yeah. It's still hot, but I got to get out there. I got to get Parks out of the house mostly because this COVID business, he's not having it anymore. I'll probably get a swim off, too, on Friday. Saturday and Sunday, I'm wide. Did they open your pool yet? Yeah.

Yeah, pool's open. What happened? They didn't shut it down? Someone pooping it? No. Dave? No. Yeah, we let Dave swim in there.

I shunted in it. Ew. Yeah, it's open. So, yeah, we'll probably get a swim off but Saturday and Sunday I'm wide open if y'all want to link I might get a new phone just to make sure

I get y'all's y'all's calls and texts oh dude yeah send me the new number get the iPhone 12 okay well it's not out yet get the iPhone 12

but if y'all want to hang out with me I would love to hang out with you is what I'm trying to say so let's make something happen yeah we'll see oh man I don't think I can

and that's it folks that's all she wrote for me what's the D-mail trying to say. Yeah, we'll see. Let's make something happen. Yeah, we'll see. Oh, man, I don't think I can. And that's it, folks. That's all she wrote for me. What's the D-Man getting into? Guys, I've got my fantasy football draft coming up this weekend. Dude, you got the first pick, man. Jim! New character.

It's fantasy football guy. Hi. Just take McCaffrey. I'm probably going to take McCaffrey. Yeah, I've got my fantasy draft We're going to play golf We're going to go down to San Marcos Kissing Tree

My first run through there It's short and fun Kissing Tree Much like Some I was going to say much like me I'm like 5'9 It's not necessarily short

It was in great shape when I played it, too. Well, hey. Do I need to pull pipe? Is this a course where Klein would be like, oh, I don't even bring driver right there. I don't need a driver. Klein might pull out his three-iron like once, but he's hitting like four or five. Am I just going to be going stingers all day? Stingers all day.

The best route I played in Michigan, I didn't take the driver out of the bag. I hit hybrid off every single tee. I can't hit a hybrid. I've noticed that about you. It's supposed to be the easy club to hit. I just can't do it. Before hashtag left Callaway, I made sure to get a hybrid. And I have to say, it slaps.

I wonder if Shadow is still at Callaway. Oh, shout out Shadow, dude. He's a real one. So I'm doing that. So pretty much playing golf Friday morning or Friday afternoon and Saturday morning.

Very excited about it. I just like playing golf. It's going to be hot. Central Texas, whatever. I'll probably be wearing a hat. I will be wearing a hat. I look forward to sweating through that hat.

It's going to be a good time. I'll keep you guys. I will let you guys know via Twitter at DCarterRuff on Twitter and Snap at DCRuff on time. I'll keep you guys. I will let you guys know via Twitter, at DCarterRuff on Twitter and Snap, at DCRuff on Instagram. Add me on the group. I will let you guys know, like, my all 15 or 20 rounds,

however many we're doing, who I take. It's a snake draft. Yeah, update us. Just do a tweet thread. I will. I'm going to go be – The cool thing about being the first pick, I've got a first pick, and then I have to wait, and then I've got a first pick and then I have to wait and then I have to wait again

and then I go back to back. Going back to back is nice. It is nice. But the wait in between is absolutely brutal. Yeah, I'll be – Going back to back is nice because you never – you have so much time to plan. I do like having that back-to-back pick. Let me know if you need any help.

I will. I'm going to hit you up. I might just let you log in and just pick for me sweet just end up with Stafford and somehow Barry Sanders doesn't make sense

he's not retired for many years will you draft a lion just for me? that just shows how few lions I actually know at this point I don't know that many either right now it's been a tough been a tough run

I got a big weekend. Not only do I have a twilight tea time on Thursday, but I also have a pool reservation on Friday. So you might be catching me at the pool, getting real tan this weekend. And then I got news for you guys. I'm just going out on a boat on Saturday. Sally's sister has recently acquired a boat,

and I will be taking my maiden voyage on it. I'm very excited about it. I guess I'll just do nothing this weekend. It's going to be really fun when my nieces bully me for not being as good at water sports as them. They're, I think, 6 and 8 respectively, and they are very good at water skiing, both slalom and the other one.

And I don't know how to do either of those. And I'm probably just going to dedicate myself to learning how to wake surf, David. So keep an eye out for that on Will DeFreeze on Instagram. Add me on the group. Same for me. There's a reason I can't play golf with you tomorrow, and it might be something along those lines.

Oh, wow. So where's our boat invite, dude? I did not get a boat. Man, pretty cool. You guys are both going on boats, and I'm not invited to either outing. That's cool. That's whatever. Are you going to the surf place in Austin?

No, I wish. No. Tyler. Tyler's got a boat. So you are going on a boat. You just said you weren't going on a boat. What is it, David? I didn't buy a boat, I'm saying. Oh, okay. What if I just bought a boat. So you are going on a boat. You just said you weren't going on a boat. What is it? I didn't buy a boat, I'm saying. Oh, okay. What if I just bought a boat?

If you bought a boat, I'd sit you down and have a conversation. Well, I've got a pretty unique business opportunity that I'd like to talk to Dylan about. After the podcast, I should have waited, but let's talk offline. I'm interested. Are you interested in a serious investment opportunity generational wealth timeshare or a boat or a timeshare boat it is a timeshare boat share time on a boat with uh eight other families is it a houseboat houseboats low-key are pretty cool it's a pontoon i'm more of a car guy. Car boats are cool because they're cars and boats. Wow.

You can just drive it right into the water. Those freak me out. I don't trust them. I've only been on one before. I don't trust them. It was weird. Remember when Bubba was still cool and he won the Masters and then he posted a video of him doing that?

Everybody was like, oh, dude, this is cool, Bubba. Then he switched from Travis Matthew to Oakley. Everybody was like, oh, Bubba. He just berated his caddy. Never do one of those duck adventure things. They're death traps. Duck boats? Dude, do you remember that one?

They are death traps. Yeah. Is it worse than the pirate ship at carnivals? Dude, yeah. Probably. People die regularly on those things because if the waters are rough and it starts to fill up with water,

that roof comes down as it sinks and it just traps people in. Yeah, you know why they die? Because it's for old people and they can't swim. Their diapers get all fucking heavy. Point remains, it's a death trap. Don't do them.

And sorry if people out there have duck adventure businesses. Yeah, sorry to any backers out there who own a death trap. Don't do them. And sorry if people out there have duck adventure businesses. Yeah, sorry to any backers out there who own a duck boat. Keep your deep fakes out of baseball. What? Huh? Keep your deep fakes out of baseball. What happened?

I thought we were doing like PSAs. Oh, okay. No. Oh, okay. Well, then I'll just save that for TMD. Oh, okay. No. Oh, okay. Well then I'll just save that for TMD. Check out Too Much Dip. Subscribe. Leave us a review. Five stars.

Add me on the gram. Please add us on the gram as well. That was a fun pod. I told you. I hate to say that I called my shot, but I did. You did. I said this is going to be a fun pod. That was a good one. I enjoyed it. I thought Dylan might come in with a little bit of low energy

and kind of drag us down, but he didn't. Which one of you guys said that a seal could only hold its breath for eight minutes? Me. Eight minutes. I don't know, dude.

You're not going to name the Navy seals after an animal that can only hold its breath for eight minutes. Humans can do that, dude. Is that what they're... They're definitely not named after seals okay i was gonna say wow sea land air teams see air land teams i don't know you