Circling Back - Burning Kill & Things Dillon Hates

Episode Date: January 19, 2022

Oh, we BACK back talking everything from N64 games to man caves to things Dillon hates — emo music festivals, nu metal music festivals, and Oscar Meyer face masks. We also talk This Weekend in Fun and discuss the U.S. Senate candidate from Louisiana who is on a kill burning spree. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (20:00) Will’s Mount Rushmore of N64 Games (26:14) This Week In Stuff Dillon Hates (45:25) U.S. Senate Candidate Burning Kill (58:52) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (STEAM) Super Speciosa: www.getsuperleaf.com/steam (STEAM for 20% off) Stamps: www.stamps.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 4-week trial, free postage, and digital scale) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back circling back podcast presented by busy hard seltzer. The only hard seltzer with vitamin C and superfood acerola. My name's Will DeFreeze to my left. David, that boy rough. Make sure you cover your pipes tonight. It's cold front season. Wrap them up. Wrap your pipe. Maybe turn the faucet on to a slow

drip. You know they say to open the cabinet under the sink? Yeah. let that heat get in there i guess i stay drip doesn't really seem like it does much but if you're in central texas hell if you're in texas well you're both out there we're not getting frozen again right it's gonna freeze i mean i wouldn't be shocked if the grid failed our grid is so mid. Just call it the mid.

The power mid. We're not doing that. I'm surprised no one has. That's something we could coin. A friendly reminder to shoulders back. That back straight, too. Just keep that good posture, Dave. I saw you slipping. It's a friendly reminder.

I know you're a big posture guy now. What has more legs? Dave's posture challenge or Brett's stand-up challenge? Well, he gave up on that a long time ago. The guy hasn't stood up in years. Brett gave really good COVID-era advice. At home, it's easy to get lazy. Just make sure you stand up. Just make sure that your legs are still working throughout this COVID. And if you're having trouble, there's a doctor who will treat your disorder with sound waves, as we have learned. It's a little different, I think. Don't look at me. Don't look at me. Are we talking about that?

We saw that guy's tip on the local news. Should we discuss that at some point today? I'm discussing it right now. on the local news. Should we discuss that at some point today? I'm discussing it right now. There's a clip on Twitter where a man has erectile dysfunction? Correct.

By the way, why would you volunteer to be the center of this news story? He signed the waiver. Maybe he's single and he was just doing it. He didn't blur his face out because he was kind of telling everyone in town, like, hey, look who's back. I got that loud dig.

Look who's back. Guess what? Daddy's back. Blood's flowing. We're open for business. I've never understood the people on those commercials. I know you're getting paid for it, but is getting that payment worth being known as the ED guy?

The Valtrex girl? That wasn't even a commercial. It was like a local news story. No, this is definitely worse. Yeah, yeah. They show his face as the doctor is just hammering away at his his unit with a sound like like a theragun looking thing to increase blood flow and they just show his face they show his tip too they show brief tip on accident yeah local

news tip local news stations aren't known for their their uh editing our man's tip just got aired hey i hope everybody goes and sees it because you're going to be seeing a lot of memes from that particular clip very soon and it would be very helpful if our audience understood what it was true it's true i've already got some screenshots on my cellular device it's not the worst thing though if your tip's on you know local news you know you can't it's the it's a tip inside the hand right The doctor's flipping it over Trying to get the other side Are we sure it's not the doctor's

Like knuckle or something Probably Brett Brett oversold it I'll say it Yeah Brett's out here just hunting For dude's tips on the local news

Well knuck if you buck too He's the tip hunter Oh man This is crazy What are we doing anyway Speaking of somebody who doesn't tip, Dylan. First of all, I'm an excellent tipper. I love the service industry.

I love the people in the service industry. You got to take care of them, especially now, man. Weird time. I feel like you are a really good – I feel like I'm a good tipper. I'm better than you. I know, and I feel like you're better than me because you're getting, like, nods from certain people who might cut our hair about, like, early appointments and stuff like that.

And I'm not getting those texts, which leads me to believe that you're just, like, shelling out money to her. I take care of her. I feel like I do, too. Like, I feel like I do. I tip more than you. I feel like I get my hair cut more than you. All right, on three, say how much you tip.

My tip varies, though. I have a standard baseline tip, and I have like, oh, it's been a weird COVID situation. You probably haven't had as much activity through here, so I will go up. She just had a baby. I plan on taking care of her, you know? You're taking care of her baby? Yeah, you know that, like, she's also a girl boss, so she can take care of herself, bro. Every time she has to miss work, that's money out of her pocket.

I want to, like, step up and be like, you know what? like you know what i do i do i've got a special christmas tip holiday tip i get i give a christmas tip as well see you gotta take care of your people guys it's very important shut up you're just getting i feel like you told her not to text me boy you are you are sore about that and i would be too she just doesn't like you told her not to text me. Boy, you are sore about that, and I would be too. She just doesn't like you. Well, dude, I require more haircuts than Dylan. My hair grows at a rapid clip. No pun intended.

How often do you go? That's tough. Don't worry about it. I don't speak publicly about how often I get my hair cut. I'll say it. I go every three weeks now. I go easily more than you if you're going every six. I'm every three.

But I go to my place is cheap. That's a lot, dog. Well, it's the back and the neck. I don't like when my neck gets overgrown, like Aaron Rodgers out there. He looks like – You can't cut yourself? He looks like shit. No.

I trim my neck myself all the time. What? How do you see back there? With the mirror? I make Sally do it. You do double mirror. You hold one up and look at the mirror behind you. There's no way I would accomplish that.

Then you clean up the hair or it goes back down your shirt and it's all itchy for the rest of the day. Get out of here. Oh, no, not the way I do it. Turn around. Let me see your neck. It's been a few days. Yeah, here we go. It's been a few days.

Wow, trash neckline. You got a big old glob. Yeah. I don't have a big glob. What's that glob on your neck? They're calling you Glob Barker right now because you got a big glob on your neck. Glob Odenkirk. Dude. What's that glob on your neck? They're calling you Glob Barker right now because you've got a big glob on your neck. Glob Odenkirk. Dude, there's a glob on your neck.

There are a lot of bobs out there. Let's just get them all out, guys. Rest in peace, Glob Saget. That's you. Globby Bonilla. Are we done? Yeah. Anyway, check out that guy's tip.

Glob Armstrong dip. Check out that guy's tip. You have to really look for it and pause it and go frame by frame as someone in this office did. Yeah, if you don't know what we're talking about, just email brett at washmedia.com and ask him for the local news video of the penis. You know, we could retweet it. The guy's just sitting there. If we retweet it without any context, no one's going to know what the hell's going on.

It's like, oh, it's just a story. You have to really know what you're looking for. So, like, yeah, and I don't know if we want to tweet from the Circling Back account, like, hey. Look at this crank. Look at this penis. There might be children that follow our account. How old do you think our youngest

ever backer was, who listened to, like, 10 episodes? 14? Do you think we ever got, like, that low? I want to hear from the youngest one. If you think you're the youngest, reach out to us. If you're a 15-year-old backer, we're going to get you an NIL deal. We're not. Yeah, we are.

We're just not. We're not signing a contract. Just tell them we are and maybe we can make it happen. 10 episodes? If you make it through 10, that's tough. Yeah, the reason I said 10 is because he had to get through the loading phase and enjoy it enough to keep listening. Could be a she.

Could be a she. A lot of girl bosses winning out there. A lot of them. Dylan doesn't like to acknowledge them, but a lot of girl bosses stay winning. I love my girl bosses. You kidding me? Can I ask the listeners to go do something? We're currently at 745 five-star reviews on Spotify.

Really? Not even reviews. You just do five stars. You don't have to type anything. You don't have to do anything. You just hop in there and you just mash that. Not that I'm a Spotify guy. I'm going to go ahead and do that right now.

Please go do that. Do it for All Watch Media Podcast, Dylan. I really want to get over 1,000. It's kind of ridiculous. Even if you don't listen on Spotify, please just go on Spotify, type in circling back, and go hit that five stars. Is it amazing that Spotify is as successful as they are? The name Spotify isn't good. Yeah, but they've been around for a long time.

That's true. They have a long-running history. What were they before they were online streaming? Did they do CDs? No. Hey, man. What? Why did you leave me hanging on the name of that yay song that you were on?

Because I fell asleep. Right, because he went to bed. He got to bed earlier than normal. I got to bed earlier than normal. It was at like 7 o'clock. No, it wasn't. No, it was like 9. It was at like 10 p.m.

Did I get it right? Yeah. I'm not going to lie. I think it's Heat. It is good, man. I'm into it. Who's on it? The game.

The game. The game. His versus the one where he claps back at Pete Davidson. Yeah, which, like, honestly, if I'm being honest, I feel like he's got, like, a text relationship with Pete Davidson. They've eaten dinner together and been spotted together numerous times in the past. I think this is all just gassing each other up. Dude, that's weird. I'll say it.

He upgraded. Doesn't matter. Who? Kanye? Yeah. I tried to rate the podcast, Circling Back. And because I just started Spotify, I haven't listened yet on the app. Oh, thanks.

And it said only listeners to this show can rate it. Check out a few episodes. Okay. Then come back and give it your feedback. All right. If you're listening on other platforms, go to Spotify, press play, and then give us the rating. Dylan, have you ever listened to one of our podcasts?

Only the ones that you're not on. Did you listen? I feel like you listen less than anybody on here. Did you listen? I listen a lot. Did you listen when you were out with COVID? No. Wow.

I only missed one regular episode. I always make sure to go and listen to like the first 15 minutes when I'm out just to make sure I'm not getting just absolutely dragged. You hear how the intro goes? We usually wait 16 minutes in to drag you. That makes sense. Yeah. That makes sense. There's like an alarm that goes off.

If there's an episode I know is really funny, I'm going to listen to it. Especially if I was in my bag, then I'll listen to it. What episode was that? I mean, you want to get a list out like it's a mile long did you go viral on tiktok yeah yes that's the question yes we were dude i went viral twice in one week it's pretty impressive i don't think you went viral i woke up this morning and you had 4 000 views i was kind of bummed that elevator video is the best video on TikTok. I'll say it. Yeah. Any genre. I think the thing working against you in that one from yesterday is that those guys are German.

They don't even know. They don't even know what you're saying. What's your flipping point, David? They don't speak English. I don't care. I'm still throwing at his face. They're like, who is this guy? Who is this Bundesliga? Who is this Bundesliga?

Who is the Bundesliga? That's not what they're saying. Ja. Chivary. Ah, the Chivary. He's roasting us on the TikTok. I don't make fun of German people like you guys do. I'm not making fun.

My kid's name is Fritz, dog. Dave is German. I stand the Germans. Dave's a German. Well, some of what they do. Like what? They've got a checkered past, to say the least. Yeah, I saw Human Centipede.

Never saw Human Centipede. You probably don't need to see it. Did you see Daniel? Did you audition for that if you didn't get in? Yeah. Were you going for the caboose part? They were like, no, you're more of an inside guy. No, no, I want to be last but they wanted

one of both ways i wanted to be i wanted to be the doctor why a lot of people think frankenstein is a monster but no frankenstein's actually the doctor what a disturbing idea for a movie plot the fact that it got made the fact that it went through all the hoops that you could possibly go through and it got made it's just really amazing you through all the hoops that you could possibly go through and it got made, it's just really amazing. You know, maybe one day we'll have my wife on here and she can tell the story about when we first started dating and we went to her brother's to hang out with her brother and her sister-in-law. And I knew her brother in high school. He graduated with me. Were there miles so?

Well, no, they weren't. But we did talk she was saying how i had seen that movie and they're like what this isn't real and then we we watched like a portion of it and it was just like i was like man i can't believe my potential brother-in-law i just watched a human centipede with how graphic is it it's i mean it's pretty it's a bad dylan people's mouths are being sewed to other people's butts. I understand what's going on in the movie. Randy's face right now.

What's the plot? Like, aside from like what goes on. These American, I think they're American young ladies get lost in Germany or something. And they end up at this house and it's this doctor and he has this experiment he does. doctor and he has this experiment he does and he's got like another guy in there like and he puts them unconscious in like a hospital bed room and and then he uh does his master plan of creating a human centipede so these people aren't doing it voluntarily like they're being kidnapped and right this isn't like in college when you could volunteer for those experiments and like go away for a weekend like a twisted thousand bucks like fetish thing or something i don't know did you know anybody who did those in college human

centipedes no they're just the experiments like they'd be like they test drugs on you for like a like one weekend for like six months yeah yeah and you can make decent money but you're getting tested you're a lab rat basically yeah we're all lab rats these days man damn okay it's a good haircut man thank you you look decent what's your problem so you're hitting us with that taper what do you mean what i what i do yeah you know i had to tape of that neck okay they call me the john taper over here what do you mean what's my problem what i do i don't know don't worry about it dude you're you're absolutely you're boxing me out out of my normal person that cuts my hair. It's kind of disrespectful.

I didn't box anything. You kind of boxed me out, dog. I had a last-minute resi I had to cancel because I got COVID before she had a job. Wow, you could have flipped that to your boy. You could have tossed me the rock and see what I did with it. But instead, you didn't even hit me up. You're right. I could have.

You didn't even hit me up. I didn't even think about it. Damn. You're fucked up. We've got to move on. Let's talk about... Fucked up. Let's talk about the real stars of this show. I'm talking about Stamps.com, baby. If you're a small business owner, you're busy enough as it is.

You don't have time to deal with the hassle of going to the post office. Time is money. I always say that. With Stamps.com, you can skip the trip and never waste another dollar or minute. Stamps.com lets you print official postage right from your computer so you can spend less time at the post office and more time running your business i can say this is easy to do not only have i done it before but to tell you how truly easy it is i've actually seen dylan do this before this dude knows how to print postage from his laptop as he has a home printer that's that's

actually facts yeah i do that is it wireless you know it's wireless, dog. That is so swag. Are you kidding? So is this office. We have more wires in this office than there are in the world right now. We've got more wire than the Golden Gate Bridge. We could wrap around the world twice. I learned that fact from Coach McGill. You're going to see me do HTML, by the way. You're so good at it. This shit is so impressive.

God. Well, for those wondering not about Dylan's HTML skills, Stamps.com saves you time, money, and stress. For more than 20 years, Stamps.com has been indispensable for over 1 million businesses. Stamps.com gives you access to all the post office and UPS shipping services you need right now from your computer, and you can get discounts you can't find anywhere else. Up to 40% off USPS rates and up to 76% off UPS. Are you kidding me? They're giving away this postage.

Whether you're an office sending invoices, a side hustle Etsy shop, or a full-blown warehouse shipping out orders, Stamps.com will make your life easier. All you need is a computer and a standard printer. Dylan, you have both of those. No special supplies or equipment, and you're up and running in minutes printing official postage for any letter, any package, anywhere you want to send. Save time and money this year with Stamps.com.

Sign up with promo code CIRCLINGBACK for a special offer that includes a four-week trial, free postage, and a digital scale, no long-term commitments or contracts. Just go to Stamps.com, click the little tiny microphone at the top of the page, and enter CIRCLINGBACK. Man, did you guys see the Carhartt news? They're requiring vax for everybody? Yeah, and there's a backlash. Who would have thought?

I just want to see if that's going to affect you guys, because I know you're both big Carhartt lads. I actually have a Carhartt package arriving in the mail today. Overalls? Got some overalls for the little man. Parks has some. Had to get him some. Do people ski in Carhartt?

Is that a Gaper thing? Is that a Dillon thing? Oh, my God. So this actually was a thing for a little bit during my high school career, Dave. It was kind of a hard-o thing to do was to have, like, normal snow pants, like normal layers, everything like that, but then toss a Carhartt up top. All the good skiers on our team started doing that, and it was like, fuck, that's kind of drippy.

It's kind of drippy. Kind of drippy. I also did get a T-shirt from them, and we scooped up a Carhartt beanie for Fritz. The only hat that he currently has to protect his head from the cold is a Santa hat from Christmas. And I think everyone in our neighborhood thinks we're really struggling because he doesn't have a normal hat. You should wear that Carhartt beanie to get his oil change in his car. That way they won't take advantage of him. Because, like, all this guy knows about cars.

And his power wheel. Yeah. I wanted to get him, like, a little, like, toy G-Wagon for Christmas. But I don't think he's old enough to drive it. You've got to be 16 to drive. They're, like, $250, which seems like a good deal for a G-Wagon. Right. I'm thinking about getting one and then having Rick Moranis over.

And then he can blow it up to a normal size g wagon you get exhibit over there to pimp it i don't know if he's still pimping rides i don't know maybe we'll maybe we'll see him in an elevator and we can ask him he'd be like hey fritz what do you what do you like fritz is like milk and he's like oh we got you a dairy cow from the back of your car. Yeah, we put a cow. Yeah, man. No, I don't know. He turned into Steve-O.

Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude, you got a dairy cow from the back of your car. Yeah, man. We even have a nut option, pistachio milk. Don't do nut options. It's a nut option, dude. Nut option. Yeah. Your car runs on milk now.

I don't know where to go. Should we just end it? Wait, why does he do it? Was he on? He was not. He was never associated with Tim Myron. Does Steve-O own a car? Yeah, he definitely does.

Of course Steve-O owns a car. He's doing well, well man but there was probably a time where he just didn't have a vehicle and it wasn't a problem and honestly there was a time where he probably shouldn't have had a vehicle yeah i think he would be the first to tell you yeah yeah dude yeah dude he's doing well now right like yeah he's doing real well yeah bam on the other hand is struggling unfortunately what's wrong with him drugs drug abuse problems it's really sad i saw an interview with steve the other day, is struggling, unfortunately. What's wrong with him? Drugs? Drug abuse problems. It's really sad. I saw an interview with Steve the other day talking to somebody about it, and it was sad.

You hate to hear that. I'm going to see the new Jackass. I'll go see it with you, dog. I'm clamoring to get back in a movie theater. It's been a minute. Yeah, dude. I ended up watching Bond on my TV, which is just not how you want to watch Bond. No.

No, no, no. I don't have surround sound. You don't? I don't have surround sound. You don't? I don't have a giant projector in my place. I've got like a 55-inch television. It sucks. Did you watch it in your man cave? Yeah.

It was fucking epic. I got this new recliner, and it has a cooler in it, and so I don't even have to move in order to drink. Are you kidding? Uh-huh. We got a kegerator. You guys ever heard of these things? It's a refrigerator, but it's hollowed out.

And so you just put a keg in there. And so you have all the beer that you could drink. What's that gadget store? Oh, Modern Man. And they have like the coffee table that has like the fridge built in. And they show the dude. And it's like a dude. He's got all these chicks at his place.

And he just pulls that open. He's got beers right there. And it's like, dude, he's got all these chicks at his place, and he just pulls that open. He's got beers right there. It's like, dude, if you own this, you don't get chicks. That's so unnecessary. Like, you can't walk. The fridge is right there. You can't walk 15 feet to your actual refrigerator. Well, yeah, they have lazy boys

with, like, little fridges built into them. Like, what are you doing? Can you imagine, like, dudes in man caves who have, like, coolers in their recliners just hearing about Brett's stand-up challenge. They're like, fuck this, man. The man's trying to get us. Yeah.

Yeah. I do not have to get up ever. You should get up at some point. They have toilet seats on those things, too. Dude, I got this stamp for our kegerator. It's a keg of Guinness. Ever heard of it? You know how they have the foam at the top?

You put the stamp on the foam and when you take it off it's ron swanson what this is way too specific and we put dude we had someone did this i got these things and they're little bitters and you can drop them into your beer to change the flavor a little bit they're bacon flavored that's sick sick? I hate what you're doing. I don't particularly enjoy it, but I'm impressed by it. I also got a sign that I hang from the doorknob. You know what it says? No girls allowed.

It's a man cave. No girls allowed. Every day is Saturday in your man cave. Yeah, it says He-Man Woman Hater Club from Little Rascals. Did you all have a fort or a treehouse when you were a kid? I used my neighbor's treehouse, and then they caught me in there alone one time, and they stopped letting me use the treehouse. What were you doing?

He had full power. I was just chilling in there. It was sick. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. He had power in his treehouse? It was a bougie-ass treehouse. Yeah, they got a power hookup because it was next to their garage. So you could literally put a Super Nintendo up there.

He was a Sega guy. That's sick. This has you looked at your first Playboy vibes. He was a Sega guy? Red flag. No, it was actually great. No, it was great. I wasn't a Sega guy, but I respected it.

No, but I had a Super Nintendo. So if I ever wanted to go play Echo the Dolphin or Sonic, I could just roll over to his place. Echo was a great game. I didn't associate with Sega kids. Sega! You were more of an Atari guy. No, that was before my time.

You were like one of the best Pong players. My neighbor also had the first N64 that I saw, and I could not get enough of playing Wave Race at his place. Wave Race was sick. I was obsessed with Star Fox. That's on the Mount Rushmore of N64 games. Star Fox for me. Goldeneye, Bond.

Goldeneye is Bond. NFL Blitz. Or, I'm sorry, Goldeneye, Wave Race, NFL Blitz. And then I have one more. Would you acknowledge that I've said Star Fox twice and it's a great game? It's a great game. I don't know if it's, I don't know if it is... King Griffey Jr.

My hot take is... King Griffey Jr. Baseball. That's Super Nintendo. They got it in 64. Well, it's better than Super Nintendo. My hot take is that Super Nintendo is better than N64. I'm rounding out mine. You ready for my final one?

What? Legends of Zelda. Ocarina of Time. Dude, Zelda's too dorky for Dylan. Goat? No way he was a Zelda guy. Just a little dorky dude running around a map, being an idiot with a sword.

Oh, cool. I see no holes in my Mount Rushmore. Same again, real quick. Goldeneye? I'm not going to fight you on that. Wave Race. Zelda. NFL Blitz.

I would swap in a Madden for NFL Blitz. NFL Blitz was so good. It was one of the first games, too, so you actually got to run it. When was the original Tecmo Bowl? What console was that? Nintendo. I think original Nintendo. I think you're right.

The sounds from that. There was a Tecmo Bowl, surely, on original Nintendo. I think you're right. The sounds from that. There was a Tecmo Bowl, surely, on Super Nintendo. Sure. Super Tecmo Bowl. I love Tecmo Bowl. That game was sick. This is how I know you guys are a little bit older than me. Because we weren't doing Tecmo Bowl.

Absolute problem. If you were Lawrence Taylor, if you were the Giants, the other team couldn't score unless you had Bo Jackson. I call him LT. Right. Greatest defender of all time, maybe? A lot of people say. Stockton was pretty good. Gary Payton, pretty good too.

John Stockton? Yeah. Wasn't a good defender. He just dropped dimes all over the place. He had a lot of steals. Yeah, he's a steal guy. Look up his career steals. He's got to be one or two. He just dropped dimes to mailman. I would like to know how many career steals John Stockton had.

Number one, dog. Sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Are you serious? Yeah, dog. I had no idea. John Stockton, number one with 3,265. Jason Kidd is 600 behind him, 2,684.

MJ, our84. MJ. Our man be stealing. The glove only had 2,445. The glove. Chris Paul. He's climbing the ranks. He needs 30 more to pass the glove. When does that new jackass come out?

We need to go see it. I want this to happen. Last time we all saw a movie together. It was Joker. I wore Joker makeup. Let's do a company trip to the theater. We will cover the cost of admission, but Randy,

your milk duds and things of that nature, you're on the look for that. Your hot tamales. Randy's the guy that gets a jumbo-sized hot dog at the movie theater. A jumbo glitz? We have any more mustard? Is there any mustard? February 3rd, I believe.

I can see Randy seeing me finish my Pepsi and then being like, yo, dude, can I get that cup so I can go get a refill? I'm like, what's your problem, dude? There's germs. I watched the end of The Town. The Town was on the other night, and I watched it on Saturday. And you know that last scene where Jeremy Renner, spoiler alert, mash that 15 seconds if you haven't seen it.

No. Dude, he recovered from his cancellation. I'm not really sure what happened. But anyway, there's that scene where they get him

and they've got him pinned and he like reaches over and like he finds that like styrofoam cup soda on the ground and he just takes like a big sip of it and it's somebody else's

which is gross but it looks so refreshing then he gets up and they just dome him. Really? Yeah. So he took a sip looks so refreshing. Then he gets up and they just dome him. Really? Yeah. So he took a sip of a cola. Then he got domed?

And then he just got absolutely topped out. He wasn't getting topped. He was getting topped. No, they shot him in the face. He was getting bricked? He got shot probably hundreds of times. Yeah. It's a violent movie.

I'm not sure how good. The town would have been better if he actually got, like, you know. That's a good way to go out. He stands up and Jon Hamm, instead of shooting him in the head, just... All right, stay there! What are we doing? He gets out the Theragun from the news clip that we alluded to. All right.

Should we introduce our new segment? What is it? Can you do new segment alert, please? We have a new segment. New segment alert. This week in stuff Dylan hates. Yeah. Long list here.

Where do you want to start, Dylan? You want to start with the When We Were Young Fest, Honeymoon Rock Fest, or Oscar Mayer Wiener Face Mask? I want to point out that I didn't do this segment. I think this is a Davey. I mean, it was obviously not you, but it is what it is. I would like to start with the Oscar Mayer face mask. Man, Oscar Mayer, you ever heard of it?

They have the Wienermobile. It's a wiener company. You've been sent that before. You can now use an Oscar Mayer face mask inspired by bologna, so not actual wieners. Oh, I thought this was like a COVID face mask, but itologna, so not actual wieners. Oh, I thought this was a COVID face mask, but it's not. It's like a skincare mask. No, this is, yeah. You can maybe fold it over. Dylan, are you a

cold-cut lover? Because per the New York Post, one of the most dividing debates is whether to call your sandwich a hero or a sub. We'll leave that unanswered. Stop that laugh. What are you doing? Oscar Mayer's new bologna hydro gel sheet face mask on Amazon, although containing no meat, is one of the most buzzworthy,

unexpected things to come out of 2022, and we're not even three weeks in. I got to say, that's a big, big caveat, including no meat. How do you not put meat in your baloney face masks? Why does baloney get so much hate? Why is it a punchline when you're a kid bologna is good what what kind of meat is bologna exactly what animal is it from you don't even know that's why it's like the maybe multiple it's like the hot dog of meats it's like a just a random meats mixed in or some shit dude it's it's sausage derived from mortadella yeah i'm surprised i didn't know that

i mean how do you eat a bologna sandwich what is the ideal pork setup ground pork sausage as well cheese and mustard american cheese because i feel like and i don't know if this was weird growing up but all i remember is white bread bologna ketchup no yeah a lot of people do ketchup on bologna no one does that no people do it dylan no trust me my mom does this it's revolting iting. I like to add a little pesto to really jazz it up. No one has ever in history put pesto on a bologna sandwich. I like that you're on your pesto bullshit lately, Dave. Dude, I can't stop.

It's becoming a problem. Should we make a movie spoof called The Pesto? It's just the Italian version of The Pest starring Dave. No, you've got to get john leguizamo to reprise the role a terrible idea i don't hate it dylan are you putting uh baloney stuff on your face in order to have better skin you know i've never done a like a beauty face mask but i'm very open to it i don't know i'm not gonna start with a baloney one i can't believe bae doesn't have you on some regiment no offense only a matter of time yeah yeah she she has um

she says she wants to do it with me. We're going to do it. Nice. Congrats on that, dude. Face mask. Oh, oh. Not relations. Aren't you a greasy skin boy?

I am, yeah. I'm an oily boy. So you've never considered just doing some face masks or like experimental stuff? My skin is kind of busting lately, honestly. I'm kind of happy with it. I need to moisturize more. Oh, I'm a big moisture guy. I'm surprised you don't moisturize, being a northern guy.

I've never taken care of my skin. Well, it doesn't even wash his face. Genuinely, there was a time where I hated people like you. I probably washed my face a handful of times. Growing up, when I hit puberty, I started to get oily. I got major pimps, man.

I was a pimp boy. Same. Just zit-faced little pimps man i was a pimp boy same just zip face little you were a pimp boy yeah i hated it man the fact that you can't take this off of your face and eat it is kind of a deal breaker for me oh yeah like um never mind what david David? Say it, dude. No. It was going to be very pervy. I promise. No, it was just gross. I was picturing the act of just eating it off of your face. It's sliding down your face. And this is revolting.

You're just nibbling on it as it slides down your face. It's like that American... We need to recreate American Psycho where he's looking in the mirror and just peels down his bologna mask. And eats it. And he just eats that thing. Don't just stare at it. And he just does a thousand push-ups.

Eat it. Yeah. I hate this idea. This bologna mask. Alright, let's go to something that you might actually really like. Alright, I can pick the next one? By the way, someone in the comments noted that one of these festivals we're about to name,

probably not this one, but this one is funny because Dylan is about to get married, should be your bet payoff for all of the tattoos and things of that nature. We're going to save the best for last, which is the We Were Young Fest. When We Were Young Fest. Okay, then let's go to the Honeymoon Rock Fest. Till death do we rock. This one I might be in on. Well, it's in Oklahoma City, and as you know, I'm a big Oklahoma City guy.

Is it the Wormy Dog? They do roll the joints all wrong. Is this the same week? This lineup is ch-ch-ch-trash. What, dude? You're not excited for Puddle of Mud headlining Friday, Scott Stapp of Creed headlining Saturday, and Sugar Ray headlining Sunday?

Ever clear. Does Sugar Ray need to do this Saturday and Sugar Ray headlining Sunday. Everclear. Does Sugar Ray need to do this? Is Sugar Ray still at Mark McGrath? Is he still performing? I get the drift that Sugar Ray is kind of in the same operating form as Third Eye Blind, where they just have their lead guy and everyone else is a rotating cast of characters in the background. I was going to guess that Mark McGrath is a good dude and knows knows like he obviously has his gig where he's, is he like in E.T. or Entertainment Tonight?

Take me to your festival. He doesn't need the money, but the band might. So he's just doing them a solid. Every morning there's a halo hanging from the corner. That's Mark McGrath. Right. I feel like Eve Six is going to get kicked off of this lineup because they're going to talk shit about every single band on here on Twitter before they actually go to it.

Wheatus. Teenage Dirtbag. Trailer Park Ninjas. That's tight. Aranda. Baylor's Own. I'm not proud of saying this, but this is a better lineup than the When We Were Young Fest.

The When We Were Young Fest is largely trash. Why is this billed as a honeymoon fest? Because, dude, I don't fucking know. Why don't you not worry about it? I will go to this with you. Well, I'm not going, so no you won't. March 18th, when's your bachelor party? Earlier.

First weekend of March. Okay, so let's do it yeah again like i'm not going so you're welcome to fuel eve six weedus aranda trailer park ninjas 357 nine left dead far beyond strange that's just friday puddle of mud i've seen them live not good like i wouldn't even worse now wouldn't enjoy a single song. Power Man 5000. Saliva. A lot of bands we've never heard of. We need to start going to Bottle Rock in Napa.

I think that's more our speed. Dude, yeah. I'm down for that shit. Is that the one where Kenny G plays? He did one year. I don't think he's doing that again. No, no. He was playing a much smaller thing.

Bottle Rock still goes hard. They have Metallica this year. Kygo, which he's doing that again. No, no. He was playing a much smaller thing. Bottle Rock still goes hard. They have Metallica this year. Kygo, which everyone knows I'm addicted to Tropical House right now. Kygo rocks. But they've got a bunch of bands. Your boy, Luke Combs. They have Pitbull this year, and he's not headlining. Luke Combs.

How do you have Pitbull? I was Pitbull, not headline. That's a huge miss. Luke Combs stinks. Oh. I'm sick of it. That's mean. I'm sick of everyone pretending like he's so good. He's a huge miss. Luke Combs stinks. I'm sick of it. That's mean. I'm sick of everyone pretending like he's so good. He's just not. I think he might be really

good, though. I think a lot of people like him. I don't listen to him, but I think he's undeniably super talented. He has a hundred songs on the radio right now. A hundred. That seems like a positive thing for him. And they're all just kind of okay. Not one great song.

A bunch of kind of okay songs. And everyone thinks he's just... I hope you get fried for this. I hope I do, too. I'm not going to pretend I'm a fan. Expose yourself. I'm not a fan. He stinks. You are going to get fried for this.

I don't care. He came to the Grand X office before he was famous and did an acoustic set. He did. He was a nice guy from what I've been told. He's probably very nice. I just don't care for his music.

Dylan, how much would we have to pay you to go to the When We Were Young Fest in Las Vegas? This is the one. October 22nd. From the beginning to the end.

So wait, this is like a three-day festival, correct? No, it's a one-day festival. Who made this graphic? This is something that's been kind festival, correct? No, it's a one-day festival. Who made this graphic? This is something that's been kind of annoying me this entire time. It's one of the worst graphics I've ever seen for a festival. What if it's just the When We Were Young Fest, but it's just your wife's family?

And it's just like different family members on stage just doing TED Talks. There's a decent chance that the Christmas card for the family next year is when we were drunk, and it's all just this. You've got to remake this. Yeah, it's got to happen. No. What's weird to me— Will walks out in a headset.

I'm going to go there, and I'm going to expose that Avril Lavigne's not actually performing at this. How is she not the biggest name on here? I feel like she's bigger than all these people. I mean, she's literally front and center. She couldn't be more centered on this, David. Look, My Chemical Romance has more real estate than Avril Lavigne.

Well, they're headlining. They're a bigger deal at this point. I'm saying she should... She said, see you later to all the skater boys. There's a lot of skater boys that are doing this. What if she rebranded and she's not into skaters anymore? She's just into preppy dudes. She should rebrand as Melissa Vandella, the actual person that she

is. Why are people going crazy over this? Because a lot of emo nerds are big into these bands, dog. I mean, I wasn't even into a lot of these people, but I know I had friends that kind of dipped into some of these, and a lot of these bands are just really not good. Dashboard, Taking Back Sunday,

The Used, AFI. I got a little too into The Used. I had a signed CD from The Used. They were certified Screamo. Wow, that sounds sick, man. Jimmy Eat World. So this is getting kind of a little publicity for having major Fyre Fest vibes. Which makes sense.

It's done by the same people that did Astroworld, Live Nation, who have had a tough little run. Yeah, they have. The pre-sale and deposits start on January 21st for $20. You can put your down payment. And there are no refunds for any of these tickets, no matter what. It's all final sale. And there's been some concern about how long each of these bands is actually going to play, given that there are three stages and about 67 acts.

Or 72 acts? How many? 67 acts. I told Randy, as his there are three stages and about 67 acts. Or 72 acts? How many? 67 acts. I told Randy, as his homework, he had to do the math. How long does that give per set? Three stages? He just shrugged. He didn't do the math.

Yeah, logistically, I don't understand how this is going to work. Okay. To anyone questioning how this would actually work, Warped Tour did it, like, all the time. Warped Tour put out a one-day festival in a city. They would have a million bands on their roster. I don't understand why people are— How do they fit a million in?

This is only 67, so this seems very doable if you saw, like, a million play. I fucking hate you. Oh. I don't hate you. How much would I have to pay you to be front row center for My Chemical Romance? And you have to stay there the entire time. If you walk away from the front row, you get zapped like you're a dog. For just that set or for the whole fest?

He gets zapped. If you take your hands off the front barrier, you get zapped. I don't want to get zapped. We also get to put eye shadow on you. Just them? Let's assume they're doing what an hour let's assume let's no let's redo this how much would we have to pay you in order for you to sit front row all day at the main stage not even pay you would you go if we bought you the plane

ticket paid for your admission paid for your food and we just have to go we gave you a 500 gambling stipend you know what yeah i. No, you wouldn't. There's no way. I would. I mean, I hate everything about the music on this list. I know Randy probably hates me after I said that, and that's fine. All this music to me is like torture to my ear, my eardrums. It really is.

It's terrible music. But I'd go for the experience if you guys were there. Like, I would. What does Hawthorne Heights have? They sound way too familiar for me not to know them. Ohio's for lovers. Okay, well. Ohio is for lovers, David.

Yeah, Hawthorne Heights had a little run in our high school friend group, and they soon found themselves on the way out. I thought Virginia was for lovers. Who called me out for liking Jimmy Eat World the other day? Was that you, Dave? Do you like them? No, I said that it doesn't surprise me that you like them. Not saying that they're bad.

I had that one album with the middle and songs of that nature. It's the worst. It's literally the worst poster I've ever seen. Why? Because they had to jam 67 bands into one graphic. Yeah, but why did they have to use the logo for every single thing? Because every festival now does the ACL thing or the Coachella thing. No, but why do we have to use the logo for every band?

Why can't we just list it in a normal font that people can digest? There's no way this actually happens. There's no way this actually happens. How congested was the poster that tour you went to with a million bands on it? Shut the fuck up. He's not going to let that go. Why don't we go can we can we rush area 51 the same time we do this let's see them aliens where is this this is in vegas right what if like area 51 like let the aliens out just for the when we were young fast they should like throw the people a bone what if they do swingers too

when we were young fast and they go to it what if the aliens like can't handle their liquor and they're like they have one beer and they're just falling all overingers 2 when we were young fest and they go to it? What if the aliens can't handle their liquor and they have one beer and they're just falling all over each other when we were young? You think the aliens are going to just start drinking beer? Yeah. They have a bunch of emo makeup on and they're just getting absolutely tanked. Dude, what if on their spaceship they have the recliner that has the built-in fridge and Will's hypothetical bacon keg? That's kind of sick.

A hypothetical bacon keg. Can I get of sick. A hypothetical bacon keg. Can I get one? I'm still not sure how that worked. I'm going to get an alien on my shoulders, the front row at Paramore. Take me to your VIP section. Just rock out. You go to crowd surf the alien and he just hovers across. Dude, that would be sick.

He's like six inches above everybody's fingertips and he's just living. Just glowing. That would actually be sick. What if A-Bomb was doing that when he was crowd surfing at emo night? What if they put the little lights on the end of their alien fingers and they do the visible globe thing? Do the orb spin. Aren't you getting super into hula hooping for festivals after seeing The Alpinist?

Yeah. Did you watch it? Why was he so good at hula hoops for festivals after seeing The Alpinist? Yeah. Did you watch it? Why was he so good at hula hoops? Why was that old guy so good at it? The old guy was suspiciously good at it. I never liked when the hula hoop went around my neck. Outdoorsy people, they love hula hooping. They can all do it.

But the hula hoop people at music festivals are probably on my... They're like bottom tier festival people. They take up too much real estate. Yeah. I'm not trying to get a concussion from a hula hoop while I'm trying to watch like Megan Trainor on. Imagine bringing a hula hoop to a fest. Like walk out and throw it.

Oh, if I got my hula. And you go inside and you're like, it's just a weird thing to bring. Probably a good way to like sneak Molly in or something. You could just put a bunch of pills in your hula hoop and be like, no, it's the sand that like requires whatever. Right. Yeah. Okay. I'm going to be the hula hoop guy at ACL. Why are you just goofing? No, it's the sand that requires whatever. Right, yeah, okay. I'm going to be the hula hoop guy at ACL.

Why are you just goofing? How much for you to be the hula hoop guy at ACL next year? You just stand there all weekend and you're just being the hula hoop. There's not a hula hoop person at ACL. I've never seen any. Exactly. It's an opportunity for Dylan to really show out. I'd give up my tickets if I had to be a hula hoop guy.

You know I was the slinky guy at Coachella one year. What were you doing? Just letting it go everywhere? Back and forth with the slinky really it's pretty tight did you draw a crowd yeah they actually brought me up on stage really it was gavin rossdale was when bush was playing was it that set he did in the in the pouring rain yeah it was that that's crazy it was definitely that and gwen stefani came up she's like you know how to slinky glissade their performance at 98 spring break i don't even know if it was 98 glissade but they did when they performed in the rain at spring break and wrist electrocution like mtv replayed mtv replayed that a million different times like oh my god

gavin ross risked it all. He just wanted to look hot. We had Dave Holmes and Kurt Loder just freaking out over it. What about Matt Pinfield? They played in the rain. It's Matt Pinfield here. Nobody knows Matt Pinfield. This is a dated reference.

I'll stop. Sway was just like, these guys are idiots. MTV had some personalities Jesse Cale is he playing at When We Were Young Fest? is he still alive? were y'all allowed to watch MTV?

I know the answer is yes but some people I knew weren't their parents only let them watch VH1 I narked on my sister I narked on my sister for watching MTV one time

and my mom looked at me and she goes I don't care and from that point on I was all in MTV Spring Break I think got me through through a hefty part of my puberty. Fashionably Loud. Daisy Fuentes.

Oh, everything, dude. Fashionably Loud with Rebecca Romijn. Are you kidding me? Formerly Rebecca Romijn Stamos. Yeah, now I get food poisoning from anything with the Romijn in it. She's a rocket, man. Freaking rocket. Freaking rocket ship.

To the moon, bro. All right. Everyone tagging me in their dumbass little wordles. I'm going to go on a blocking spree. Why don't you just mute the word wordle, dude? It's pretty easy to do. Because I like to identify the dorks. That's why.

Oh, you're just muting dorks left and right? Yeah. Tag Dylan in your favorite Luke Combs tweets as well. Yeah, and get blocked. See what happens. Why do you hate him so much? I don't't hate him i'm sure he's a good dude but his music is just not that good and everyone acts like he's the second coming and it's just crazy damn second wedding he must have some endurance bring that back let's holler at our friends over it's super super speciosa dog you guys know this kratom stuff it's an all-natural herb related coffee

plant that's been used in Thailand for centuries. It helps energize your mind and relax your body, and it just helps you feel good without feeling impaired. Just think about that. You don't always have to get impaired. You don't need a head change every time you take something. You might want one, but you don't need it. That's the thing. Super Speciosa has only one ingredient, pure kratom leaf.

I mean, there's a ton of scenarios that it can help you with. Maybe you're trying to, Randy, maybe you're trying to ask that special someone on a date. Ooh. Randy, cold feet. Speciosa. Shorty a baddie. Come on, Randy. Maybe you're trying to ask your boss for a razor.

Maybe you're just trying to run the extra mile. Kratom's often used as a pre-workout. For beginners, I mean, the capsule is just the easiest way to make it happen. I want to used as a pre-workout. For beginners, the capsule is just the easiest way to make it happen. I want to try it for pre-workout. That sounds kind of lit. I mean, you'll try anything for pre-workout. Well, that's very true. Trust me. Anything's got to be better for my body than Total War.

Well, you know what their most popular one is? The green strains, baby. Oh, shit. That greeny green. They have 100% satisfaction or your money back guaranteed. And they recently made a change. The code that we have that we're about to offer you can be used again and again. Try Kratom now.

Get 20% off. Go to getsuperleaf.com slash steam and get 20% off promo code steam. That's getsuperleaf.com slash steam. Use promo code steam for 20% off. It's super leafy. Speaking of something super leafy, you guys see this U.S. Senate candidate from Louisiana who's just burning herb on camera? Tag Dylan on

Twitter if you think I do his super fruit, super leaf bit better than he does. Super leafy. Dave definitely does it better than you. He does it, but I do the super fruity better. Super fruity. Are you more likely or less likely to vote for a U.S. Senate candidate from your state

if he's burning tree on national television? Like on his in his campaign ads. Yeah. Absolutely more likely. Hypothetically, he's sitting in the middle of a field just smoking a blunt wearing a suit. It depends though. Like how sticky is this weed? Is it mega sticky? Because then yeah, I'm voting for him.

That there I believe is a blunt. But if it's just dry like you smoke mid if it's like that, then I'm out. Can I admit something? You smoke mid? I don't smoke mid, dog. Stop. I don't smoke mid. From what I can tell, this Senate candidate smokes that called Blammo.

Oh, my God. Is he just truck-sticking blunts right now? It's so loud, dude. Dude, my hypothetical man cave recliner just has, like, blunts rolled up under it. Really? I just reach down and grab blunts and smoke them. And I watch the game with my boys. Then we play N64 and Vibe.

Dude, say ka-blamo. The last time I was offered a hit off of a blunt, you know what I did? You hit it? I didn't inhale. I was too scared. I don't want to smoke a blunt. That's too much for me, man. That's above my pay grade. That shit hits hard. It hits hard. Just tobacco. Dude, I took half of a hit out

of Ross's bong and I couldn't walk. That was tough. I literally couldn't stand up. We did a fashion show for Halloween and Dylan was like, nah, I'm good. I was like, I'm out. I can't get up right now. It was terrible. I literally couldn't stand up. We did a fashion show for Halloween, and Dylan was like, no, I'm good. I was like, I'm out. I can't get up right now. It was terrible. If you're a new person running for office, isn't the move just saying that you'll try to legalize marijuana?

I feel like that's what most people care about at this point. Yeah. I mean, that should definitely be a part of your platform if you want to if you want to get uh the youth vote that's your platform how do you not win like so many more people are in favor of that than opposing right you know how many things that people are in favor for but they vote against those interests a lot most people are in favor of uh like a health care for all type. They don't vote for it though. And that.

Why the freak not? That is the no spin zone. But what if I'm, I mean, I don't know. What? I hate the vota for the mota. Oh, shit. You get it? Vota for the mota.

I'm running. You could run his. I'm actually, I'm actually announcing right now. I'm running for US Senate. You run comms for this guy, for the Spanish-speaking community. Spanish-speaking outreach. Will DeFreeze. Hi.

I like in his campaign... What's this guy's name? Gary Chambers? Great name, by the way. Is that his name? I hope. It's a good name, but like... Sure, it's a good name.

Gary Chambers. Gary Chambers. Democrat running for U.S. Senate from Louisiana. And he burns kill. Like, hard kill. Yeah. I like that his campaign ad features him exposing the incumbent that he's trying to beat, his fake accent.

I hear Nick Saban's working on one of his own when they play LSU next year. The old Brian Kelly. SEC, SEC. I can't believe we lost in that championship game. I don't want to bring it up. I haven't put a big boy stack on something in a minute. Why not? And I did it for the Bama game, and I got absolutely smoked.

Did you really? Yeah. What was the night before? Oh, I put money on the Raiders the night before, and then I parlayed that straight into – I didn't actually parlay it. Speaking of fake accents, Derek Carson, people say. Really? Is he trying to fake a Vegas accent so he can – into, I didn't actually parlay it. Speaking of fake accents, Derek Carr, some people say, really? Does he try to fake a Vegas accent so he can get

more popular there? It's inexplicably Southern. A Vegas accent. What's the Vegas accent sound like? What's up, man? Yeah, baby. It's just like old lady smoking cigs at the slot machine. Dylan, you're money and you don't even know it.

What if Derek Carr was trying to pander to the Las Vegas crowd and he just started doing swingers quotes after everything? That would be great. He just called himself Nick Papa Giorgio. Happy birthday to Nick Papa Giorgio, by the way. Belated? Belated birthday. A few days ago. That's huge, man.

All time. I mean, I'm voting for this guy if I'm in Louisiana. Our little boy's all grownsed up. Have you guys heard the news? The new Louisiana news? No, please tell us. Squad might be heading to Louisiana soon. You know, you've been teasing us with this.

Some might say you've been breadcrumbing us. Is there a development? Are you honeydicking us? I haven't seen an email. A text was sent last night. If you honeydick us about this, I swear. I sent a text last night because, as everyone knows, I am owed one single bachelor party,

as I did not get one due to the ongoing global pandemic. And I sent the text last night, and I said, all right, we're pivoting. And that pivot is going to end up in New Orleans, Louisiana. If we don't go to Galatoire's, I swear I'll fight you on Bourbon Street. I'm not kidding when I say this. I think we literally are going to base the time of this on when we can get into Galatoire's.

Will, let me tell you this. If you played defensive back at LSU, you'd be the honey dicker. Thank you. Is there any dates being thrown around yet? No. Well, internally, yes. Internally, yes. You know what? I'll believe it when I see it.

No one's doing bachelor parties at this stage in their lives. You've been married for six years, and we haven't gone to your bachelor party. I've literally been married for less than two years. Oh, fuck. My anniversary's coming up. I gotta do something. What do you do for the second anniversary? Honeymoon Fest. Helicopter ride over the Grand Canyon. I think I'm just going to give her like,

I'm going to put like a $2 bill underneath her pillow. You're going to give her $2? Should I buy her a Bitcoin? An entire Bitcoin? No, get her, get her, get her cummies. I could get her some, I could could get her some baloney face masks. A gag gift, if you will. Those go over very well.

Not getting a gag gift. You better sell it, dog. Shut up. Dude, I have an anniversary coming up. You have a wedding coming up. Rose's birthday. Oh, it's the anniversary of him being born? February 19th.

Our relationship is exactly as old as Rhodes' is, remember? February 19th. Oh, I was talking about his son. I'm sorry. Oh. Is that really his birthday? Parks, yeah. February 19th.

Do we all should see, oh my gosh, the bouncy house I rented for his birthday party? I haven't gotten an invite yet. What? You're getting an invite. His son's birthday party. Invitations just arrived. I haven't. And I haven't sent them out yet.

Dude, you ought to see this. You're sending actual invitations? Mm-hmm. Stamps.com. Promo code circling back. Little microphone at the top. Did you print them on your printer? No.

We ordered them from a... You know we have a mutual friend who does gag gifts for his wife on Christmas? Really? That's a tough way to spend Christmas. No, not like that. You know this person, Dylan. I'm sorry. I just wanted to see if you knew this.

And they're often innuendo-y. And he texts the group text. Sexual nature? Yeah. I'm like, dude, what are you doing? It's kind of sick. It is. Not really.

I don't know. Just go to Jared's or something. Jared's. Is it time? No, I'm not done talking about your hypothetical bachelor party that's not going to happen. It's happening. The reason I'm pivoting, you want to hear why I'm pivoting?

I'm taking golf out of the equation. Right. Because some of my friends don't play golf, and I don't want the crowd to separate. I want us to be mobbing at all times. And also, I think with the numbers that we might be doing, having a house in San Diego doesn't make as much sense as us just running a hotel in New Orleans.

Here's what I need for this to happen. I need Galatoire's Resi. I need a table at Lafitte's, and I need a rooftop pool. Done. Done, done, and done. I legitimately might just copy and paste Micah's itinerary and just do it for

my squad. What, David? Do they do rooftop pools in New Orleans? Oh, that's weird. I guess we went to one while we were there last time. Oh, that was a rooftop. Dave was so blacked out he doesn't even remember i do you were very drunk you were gone on that sticky i see our buddy that we uh met in there i see him at the gym quite often dude that guy every time i see him he he gives me a look like um we talk sometimes but if we don't talk we just spot each other from across the gym, he looks at me like

we share a dark secret together and like he's holding it over my hand. Because he saw how you were acting at the pool, dude. Like we buried a body in the desert together and he like,

you know, his girlfriend listens to this podcast. I know, I know. It's funny. Do you know what happened? So we haven't talked about this, but Dylan was acting up

so much at the pool that he made Dave go down to the room and print out NDAs for everyone at the pool so they couldn't talk about what Dylan was doing. Yeah, took a lot of time. It was really a waste of resources.

I missed most of the fun because I was drafting. Thanks for helping, though. Yeah, it's okay. I'm going to start looking at you like he does. It's so funny. It's like we have – yeah, like he knows where I buried a body, and he can like – You didn I buried a body, and he can like. You didn't catch a body in New Orleans?

And he can just, you know, wrap me up whenever he wants. Maybe he knows that you're the person who stole Will's not only wallet, but his sunglasses. True. Oh, actually, that's weird. I'm the only one who helped Will try to find it. That's what someone who stole them would do, throw off the scent. You could say that you're the most likely suspect, Dave, is they were always on your bedside table. That's a fair point. You were in my bed more than I was.

At one point, my wallet got lost, and it was on your bedside table, and I don't even remember going to your room and hanging out there. Dave, we're good travel roommates, man. We do good together. Who am I staying with that's yours? Me, if you want. Did I just say we were good partners? No, I'm not disagreeing.

I just like to mix it up. I like to keep my options open. You've got to stay with Flounder. Who's better than me? Oh, yeah. I've got to stay with Clyde. I get first overall pick, and I'm probably going to pick Flounder. Okay.

What? Nothing. Does he snore? Does he snore? He's got major snore vibes. Does he have a CPAP machine? No. No, we don he have a CPAP machine? No. No, we don't have a CPAP.

I got a buddy who has one. He's coming to the trip. Is he bringing his CPAP? Do you have to bring that with you? No, he's probably not. That's brutal. It's tough. That would be tough.

That's when you know you're washed up. When you get back from your bachelor party night out at STK, just getting bottles and you have to put on your CPAP. He has his own bedroom in his house apart from where his wife sleeps because he's such a loud sleeper. He actually has a CPAC machine and like Ben Shapiro does like 10 minutes with a headset on.

Stop it. Every night before you go to bed, you have to listen to Ben Shapiro. Oh. You guys hear that? No, hold on. I'm not done with this. All right, I'm done. It's time for This Weekend in Fun, baby, presented by Bird Dogs.

Bird Dogs. You know about Bird Dogs. Pants, shorts, joggers, built-in underwear, comfortable, everything. Let's go. Yeah, let's go. Let's go. Let's ride. You hear us talking about going to rooftop pools in New Orleans, and guess what we wear when we go to those things?

We wear Bird Dogs, because guess what? They can go go to those things? We wear bird dogs because guess what? They can go anywhere from the pool to the boardroom to the discotheca. Maybe that's why he's giving you that look. To the gym. Because he knows how much your ass was popping in your bird dogs at the pool. Actually, yeah. Were you hella cheeked up in your birdies? They do make me look extra cheeky.

They kind of make me look extra cheeky, too. That's not even a thing. That's just real. That's just real-ass facts right now.. That's not even a thing. Like, that's just real. That's just real-ass facts right now. Well, dude, they have built-in underwear that's insanely comfortable. It's like an angel. It's like angel wings beating on your balls. That's their copy, by the way.

It's unnecessarily comfortable. Like, if they dialed down the comfort, I would still wear them because they're lit. But they're just madly, wildly comfortable. They're so comfortable. It's like having an ED doctor treat you with a state-of-the-art new treatment. It's nothing like that. It kind of is.

Literally, it's nothing like that. I can't get past that. I'm sorry. Good vibrations. The guy just... All right. They're my everything pants. They're my golf pants.

They're my happy hour pants. They're my TV... They're my Lafitte's pants. They're my commercial on TV pants. They actually might be my Lafitte's pants. I think I wore them to Lafitte's. They're my meatloaf eating pants. Oh, my commercial on TV pants. They actually might be my Lafitte's pants. I think I wore them to Lafitte's. They're my meatloaf eating pants. Oh, if you get some of that purple drink on there, you just keep going.

It's not a big deal. You just wipe it off. No, it's character. It comes out in the wash. Not a big deal. Those drinks are so good. The best part about these things, you don't have to wear underwear. It's just sick.

Yeah. You think I don't know that? Because I'm free. Free ballin'. Why did you have to take that from me? I was about to launch in. People expected me to step up there, so I gave it to them. Go to birddogs.com, enter promo code STEAM,

and they'll throw in a free Bird Dogs Whistle Tip football. It's like those Nerf Vortex Howler footballs that whistle when you throw them. The footballs you can literally throw a mile if you're John Elway. We're talking about those ones. It's a must-have for football season, which could not have gotten here soon enough. It's about to be gone. That's birddogs.com. Promo code SEMANBOOM. A free Bird Dogs Whistle Tip football with your pair of

Bird Dogs. You will not take these things off. I promise you. Dylan, what are you doing this weekend of fun? Thanks for asking, Will. Got a little something happening. Bay's been out of town for work. It's back tomorrow.

I'm excited to see her. We will both have the kids for a couple days. That should be kind of a lituation. Sounds like it. Yeah, might go to dinner Saturday. I haven't gotten my invite, and I'm a boy. Did you have a date night recently? Last night, dog.

Where'd y'all go? We had sushi. Where? Uchiko. Let's go get some sushi. I love Uchiko. Some sushi. Yeah, we decided to go date night last night.

That's sick, dude. But this is my weekend in full time. I had two sake. I know, but I just had to find out. They sake'd it to me. Honestly, I don't have much. Somebody sake. I don't have much, actually.

I would like to do something cool, something fun. It's going to be cold, I don't have much. I don't have much, actually. I would like to do something cool, something fun. It's going to be cold, I think. It's cold front season. Chili. Cover your plants. Bring your pets inside. She lives inside. She'll be okay. Central heat, not to brag. Okay, dude. There's people out there that are

listening right now, and you're just getting more and more out of touch. Luke Holmes is not good. I'm open to linking. I have central heat. I'm open to linking. I thought you didn't like Zelda. Saturday or Sunday. That's good.

That's good. Give me – no, fist me like you mean it. Cut that, Randy. Please don't. That's it, really. I mean, I'm open to something. That's a really good weekend and fun. Yeah, I know.

It's kind of lame, isn't it? Got news. Mine's not much better. Actually, we've got big UFC Saturday night. Hey, can I say something, though? I want to swing sticks soon. Stop, dude. I'm getting my back worked on Friday.

Make a tee time, then. Okay. make a tea time then okay make a tea time whoa whoa time out why wasn't that in your weekend and fun if you're getting your back worked on who dr bob yeah friday morning that should be that should kick off your weekend because you're gonna feel good when you low-key like really excited about it have you seen him before oh yeah he's the best he cracks parts of my body i didn't know they were crackable sick you know like you got an adjustment He cracks parts of my body I didn't know that were crackable. Sick. You know, like, I got an adjustment. Will's checking email.

Did we get what it is? Is that a C&D? No. I'm the person that gets all the hard inquiries from the washmedia.com, you know, support stuff. Forms. And, like, a lot of people just copy and paste a bunch of bullshit in these things. Take that. Yeah.

What's that boy getting into? Well, I've got to figure out how I'm going to cover my plants today, so that's not really my weekend and fun. Do what they do in Florida with the oranges. We are under a winter weather advisory, or watch I guess, technically, as of now. You know what they do in Florida with oranges, David? They spray them with water and then it freezes

and it insulates the oranges. I don't know if that works for agave. Dude, do it with the agave. Hey, this is the second time today I've seen a post on Nextdoor about a mountain lion being spotted in Austin. It's probably a bobcat. It's not. Long tail.

It's probably a house cat. It's probably a tabby cat. Is it a photo? No. Oh. What part of Austin? This was in Northwest Hills. Those are the hills that are northwest.

Damn. You know what? It was only a matter of time. That's kind of lit. Looks like we got some weekend plans. We're capturing this bobcat. How close is that to you? It's 10 minutes.

Okay, be careful with Stella, with the kids. Just saying. He doesn't have to. He can take any big cat. Yeah, I'm not. Trust me, I'm not worried. This might be... You might have to. He can take any big cat. Yeah, I'm not. Trust me, I'm not worried. This might be. You might have to put your money where your mouth is.

I'll do whatever I got to do. It would be sad if Dylan got killed by a mountain lion in his backyard, but it would also end the conversation about what happens if Dylan encountered a big cat. We need this question answered. We'd be able to put that question to rest finally. With you. Yeah. What, do you want to get buried in your bird dogs?

Please. Dude, they're my beach shorts, my funeral shorts. They're my casket shorts. Alonzomorning.gif. Well, now we know. I think I'm taking the boat out this weekend. I hope the mountain lion does not kill you. I hope the mountain lion just, like, vandalizes your backyard.

Sorry. That's all. You're going on a boat? Yeah, I think I'm taking my boat out. Sally gave me a boat for Christmas. It's going to be very cold, Will. Be careful. If you see a little dude kayaking this weekend, it might be me.

Are you going to play that song, I'm on a boat? Yeah. I'm on a boat. Not as funny as it used to be. It was never funny. At the time, it was funny. I didn't like it. Guess what? Come on. Never boat. Yeah. I'm on a boat. Not as funny as it used to be. It was never funny. At the time, it was funny. I didn't like it. Guess what?

Come on. Never was. We're doing verbal memes. Verbal memes. Yeah. I don't know. I got my life jacket arriving on Friday, and as we know, the weather's going to be very cold, which means that I'm not happy about what's going on.

Just don't wear one. No, dude. Yeah, that's bad boy shit. Can you imagine if I took a kayak out one time and I died? That's a tough look for everybody. You don't want to imagine that. You know how to swim. Yeah, but I don't know how to swim for very long.

Get back in your boat. I might get tired. I need a life jacket. Don't shame me for wearing a life jacket. Can you go over the dam from where you're at? Damn, daddy. Is he at risk of going over the dam? You can get sucked through it.

Suck me through it, Daddy. That happened one time. Do you have to pay for it? That sounds gnarly. No, some guy had this old vintage wooden boat one time. When you kayak, but she keeps sucking. The motor died, and he couldn't start it back up, and he got pulled through the dam,

and it came out in splinters on the other side. Was he dead? No. Good for him. Good for him. Wait, so he didn't go through? He did go through. But he made it.

Yeah. It ripped all of his clothes off. Did he immediately toothpick? That's kind of hot. That's how he made it through? I don't know. Will, remember that. Was he shredded? Another interesting part of the story.

When you get sucked through, you have to do the toothpick. Another interesting part of the story is that he was on the boat with his mistress. What? Yeah, this is a real story. And because he made the news, it blew his cover and his wife found out. What did he do? Yeah, it sucked him through. Yeah.

Keeps sucking. Is this Lee Chatfield? Did she survive? Yeah, they both did. Pretty wild little storyfield? Did she survive? Yeah. They both did. Pretty wild little story. I'll try and find it for another day maybe.

What year was this? This is probably at least 15 years old. There's a big UFC card this week. We've got a heavyweight title fight. And I am going to get it. Should we just show up at Micah's? If Micah wants to get it, I'm down.

I will... I don't know why. I just love watching big fights in Micah's apartment. Is he still in the same one? Yeah. Text him right now. See if he's getting it. I told him I wanted to link this weekend. I did send out that text to Micah as he's been on vacation. He had to miss... We canceled my birthday dinner.

We were going to link up with Micah. The whole squad was going to be there. It was going to be a touching base reunion. It's cool. I had pot roast instead. You love pot roast. No one wished me happy birthday until Sally posted an Instagram story and then I had to respond to a bunch of texts.

I was like, this is annoying. I'm going to take my time for this weekend and fun, and I'm going to call out somebody who could have been part of my weekend and fun, but they don't play golf when it's 50 degrees and sunny outside. Who are you talking about, David? The person's not sitting here. The person's up in

Dallas right now. Frisco. I'd argue that's pretty good golf weather. It's not going to be breezy. It's just going to be sunny and 50. The second this episode is done, we're making a tee time. That's borderline crispy. We're going to force the issue with him. He's coming down.

Clyde, he's coming down. I wasn't going to say his name. To play the golf. Down, down, baby. Everyone knows who we're talking about. Street in a Range Rover. It's too cold. Street sweeper, baby.

Cock ready to let it go. Showing your range there i think we just lost every subscriber we've ever had dude he's implying he's gonna spray a block it's gangster it's pretty tight that shit's gangster pretty tight so let me what i was originally getting at if micah doesn't do it, I'm going to have the fight at my place, and I don't think I would be risking it if I had a few of the boys over. Risk it all, David. Fight night. Rough Island.

It's in Ghanu, baby. Saturday? Yeah. Can we start backyard wrestling? Dilling in your backyard? We sure can. I've got to clean up those big old Randy turds. I'll buy a trampoline.

Dylan, you go get pallets from Lowe's or something. Then we can hit each other with them. Card tables. Oh, card tables for sure. Dave Mafia. Yeah. Hey, how often do you clean when Stella, I assume she poops in the backyard, unless she poops on walks, which is a great trick if you can get them to only poop on walks.

How often do you go out there and do a poop check and throw all the poop away? At the new crib, much more frequently than I did at the old crib. I'm talking like at worst once every other day. Oh, wow. Yeah. Okay. Actually, I did it this morning.

You do it more than I do. I did it this morning, and that's facts. Okay. Okay. Plus, I got Babe bringing that on my neck. You know how did it this morning. You do it more than I do. I did it this morning, and that's facts. Okay. Okay. Plus, I got bae breathing on my neck. You know how she is, man. No, I don't. How is she?

What, she's just standing behind you going like, It's not literal. It's figurative. No, that's Dylan on his CPAP machine. Dylan. Dylan. Why is his fiance a ghost? Dylan, I'm breathing.

Bro, I can watch some more uh archive 81 stop netflix's hottest new sci-fi horror genre film or series that i am watching and i'm two in and it's uh it's it's up and down it's no station 11 very very controversial But I'm enjoying it. It's not even spooky season. Did you do yours? Yeah, I'm not doing anything. I'm taking the boat out. By boat, I mean kayak. It's a kayak.

It's technically a boat. I'm a boat owner. You know what they say about owning a boat. Is your kayak inflatable? No. Okay. That's good. We out here.

Are you going to fish? No, I'm really bad at it. Rip lips? I'm really not good at it. I'm more just going to go zen out. I don't like to fish. Are you going to microdose mushrooms? If they're there, sure.

Then you better wear a life jacket. I'm wearing a life jacket either way. You should wear a life jacket. You might even want to wear a helmet. Please don't wear a helmet. For when I get sucked through. You're not going down like White Rapids. Class 2s.

You're wearing a helmet. Class 2s, potentially. I'm wearing an old... Class 0s. I'm wearing an old Bauer hockey helmet. It's a constant level length. You can wear my Yofa. That's fine.

It's got a cage. That's kind of drippy. Do it for drippy. Just wear a Carhartt beanie. You'll be fine. Okay. This is going to be cold. Do it for drippy. Just wear a Carhartt beanie. You'll be fine. Okay. It is going to be cold. Thank you for that advice.

Can you imagine if you fell in the water, the cold water, with a beanie on? That would just feel weird. A wet beanie on your head? Just got to be a weird feeling. Just don't get sucked through. Dave's wet beanie challenge. I think it's time to call this. No, no, no.

We're hitting our stride. I think we should do another hour and ten minutes. No one is still listening, I promise. They're still listening. If you're still listening, tag Dylan in your wordle. And then catch a block. No, just make him catch a mute. Put him in Twitter jail.

No. Did you mute anybody after the Cowboy game? I know. There's one person I know you muted no because i think i was in a tweet i muted i muted a number of people and it's not that i will stink it's not that i have thin skin i it's just if you're going to come at me on twitter unprovoked you got to at least be clever i agree with that but i also have thin skin you know what maybe i do have thin skin. You know what? Maybe I do have thin skin. I have thin hair and thinner skin. I have thin sports skin.

When Manchester United botches it, which has been every single match lately, there are immediately people that just go to Ladd Football Brough and start talking shit. It's just. I get it, but why am I owning that much real estate in your head? When I'm 20 minutes removed from the game and the season ending and you hit me with something like something just not even clever or funny i was just like well i don't want

to see this jerks man so you got the muted hey misery loves company dave shop dude why did you do the leo face the leo meme face when you said that oh shit all right now it's time to go let's get out of here bye