Circling Back - Cabeza Watch 2022 & The Junk Drawer

Episode Date: May 4, 2022

Cabeza Watch 2022 has officially commenced. To kick things off, we talk about Dave Chappelle getting tackled, a miserable boss memo, a new segment titled ‘The Junk Drawer’ that is probably NC-17, and This Weekend in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (12:00) Dave Chappelle Tackled On-Stage (27:19)This Employee Pledge From Hell (42:00) The Junk Drawer (54:56) This Cabo in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Vizzy: www.vizzyhardseltzer.com/washed Everlane: www.everlane.com/steam (10% off first order + free shipping) Cuts: www.cutsclothing.com/steam (15% off!) L’Oreal: https://rebrand.ly/LOreal_CirclingBack --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the people cave presented by busy hard seltzer. The only hard seltzer with vitamin c and superfruit acerola my name is will defriest my left david el nino rough i don't really have an alternative but i did not think people cave would make it as long as it has i thought that would be like a two-week thing but it's stuck and it's about to be the people it's so bad it's good it's good which is one of my favorite things but I feel like people when they hear people cave they think this place you can just walk in and like it's theirs it's for the people it's not though we gotta like work and record this is a private office you can't just stroll up about the private cave hey we got a we got a private cave okay that. That's weird.

Just doesn't sound good. Hey, the people next to us, this complex isn't big enough for the two of us. These two companies. It certainly is. It's like a half acre lot. It's not. And you know, something's going to happen. Yeah, I feel like we have a ton of space.

We're going to have to score off at these people at some point. What they do i don't know who are they i don't want to name names yet but there's some young folks over there and they're walking by with a lot of confidence and i don't know i just feel like they need to be uh drop down a peg or two are we gonna have our interns fight their interns this summer i I think I'm going to fight them myself. All this training I'm doing has got to be worth something. It was worth you being skinny for your wedding. You were scary or bulked, I'll say it. Dylan came in today and he asked if we wanted to hear about his workout this morning.

And for the first time in a long time, we finally got to tell him, no, we don't give a fuck. Cause shreddy wedding season is over. We indulged your little wedding thing for a while, but now we don't care. We want you to bulk or shut up. I'm about to be poolside for like six days. Hey, would you go eat some protein

and then like some excess cows? You know that everyone that's going to see you at the pool is also going to see you once Shreddy wedding season is over and you let go of everything. I'm not going to let go. I'm not going to be as intense as I have been the past month and a half. But I'm going to stay. I I gotta stay fit for bae.

Oh my God, dude. She's still very- That's the worst statement ever. I hate, I hate what you're doing right now. She's sexually attracted to me. So what? You know what? You're also married, so have fun saying goodbye to that.

Per the vows, she has to love you through- Thickness. Thick Dorn and skinny Dorn. That's pretty good. I honestly don't even remember what it actually is oh sickness and health thickness that was good yeah that wasn't even an intentional thing do you like our vows remission and main do you like our vows i thought you were just going to go up and say ae iou not literally on that drop the mic not vowel you didn't have a mic. Did you have a mic? Mic'd up?

Emily was mic'd up. So you might have picked up a little bit through that one. But then she stepped away. Did you like my vowels? Answer the question. They were good. They were fun. I kind of wanted a few more punchlines.

Not enough zingers. You wanted me to do a stand-up set? Yeah. Honestly, yeah. How often? Yeah. You have a captive audience they are there to see you what's going on yeah look a ring bear my son's not a bear

that's crazy man no but i'm glad y'all were there it meant a lot you know fun time it's cool man like we got a rain check on the tea time that we had to cancel for you so just let us know let us know we can go out and do that. That's weird. I had a 1050 at Wolf Dancer. You've known about the wedding for months. So it's weird that you would book a tee time day of. Hey, man.

Austin's a competitive city these days. Whether it's reservations or tee times, you got to get in and get out very early. That sounded like an adderade that you were launching into. Hey, Klein is rolling up to a resort right now, and I'm like mad Joe. Wow, this place is nice. Look at the pool. He's going to listen to this at the pool.

Margaritas? Does he know that we're not going to get there until tomorrow? Like, dude, we're not there yet. He wanted a day alone time with his fiance. A day alone with his bay uh it stops dude yeah you guys you can't do other people's bags like we've we've accepted that you can call your wife bay but like we're not accepting other people's bags well she was fiancee bay for a while no did not last yeah that was that one episode that could have been better one drink it could have been better. It wasn't great. It could have been better. Anyway. Will and I are both hangry over here, so.

Yeah, my intermittent fast. I brought y'all Pine House pizza. I'm not even Zob. Dude, yeah, Dylan did something really nice, and he brought in his leftover pizza from Monday night for us to enjoy at lunch today. Well, I brought myself salmon, broccoli, and risotto. Dylan brings in the most healthy food possible that he could eat. But for everybody else, hey, here's some three-day-old za.

Yeah, here's my leftover pizza. How many pieces of pizza are— I'm not about to show up to Cabo looking bloated. But how many pieces of pizza— Like, it's weird that you decide— Did you just need to get rid of the pizza box so you thought you'd bring it to the office and make— That's exactly what you did. You didn't want to break down the box.

Just admit it. You didn't know what to do with the pizza box. There are four slices of pizza. You missed recycling day. Four slices and two pizza rolls, and you know those are very dang adam will eat them will knows they're adam adam knows how to bowl will like some people will's a fiend for those things i'm hitting god today i tell you that you're hitting god i'm in that 4 p.m black swan just admit that you didn't want to get rid of the pizza box that's all we ask no britney wanted the

pizza out of the house because we're about to show up to the pool and i was just like you know so y'all ordered pizza monday night knowing that you were in shreddy what he sees in and then you got like scared after you ate a couple pieces and we're like oh fuck we gotta get this out of here uh we were exhausted people were turning on you no no one's turning on me if i could turn on the updated weight here bring this pizza to the office those those guys don't care about my updated weight so bay's trying to just offload bay on us that makes no sense do you want to hear my updated weight no don't care literally don't care okay i'll save it for later top three worst bits you've done it's not a bit it's my life my life is not a bit what's your problem trust me You want to kiss fight?

Trust me. Hey, can I give a little preview for the people at home? I want to give a preview to people at home of what we talk about on tomorrow's listener voicemail episode. Are you guys ready for this? We got to make fun of Randy's otter box. That was fun. We wondered where kombucha went. Dylan actually reveals his shreddy wetty routine.

That otter box is an absolute p magnet by the way sorry chill out dude just chill out we also touched on holiday holiday weekend weddings garter tosses weird or not they don't know i have an otter box yeah these girls don't know that my phone will never break go check it out patreon.com slash circling back podcast we recorded early since we'll be out of town tomorrow which means that it'll be up very early tomorrow morning we should put it up at like 4 a.m instead of 5 what yeah what so we'll keep an eye out also a little treat for the squad out there yeah a little early bird treat it It's not sponsored, Dave.

Okay. Behind the paywall. You know, I really thought you were going to have early bird at Fritz's party. We did. You just didn't grab any. Oh, you dumb dumb.

I really didn't. You blew it, dog. You absolutely blew it. I never left the backyard. I didn't. The inside was not my scene. You were literally inside like all the time.

No, I wasn't. Because Alyssa was inside the entire time. I was out back just slamming piñas yeah we had early bird there but you just you just decided not to do it yeah you were doing what you slamming why are you doing that at my son's birthday party you're the one who had the frozen peen oh don't bring the peen machine unless you want me to slam it dude sally was actually really upset that we didn't have enough people take a lot of the party favors. So we have like 10 bucket hats left over, a million koozies. Hey, I'm sure if Dylan had been there, he would have taken a million favors.

Hey, will you do me a huge favor? Will you bring me a bucket hat to Cabo? Maybe. Please. Only if you bring leftover pizza for Will. I'm not going to bring pizza. That's a long way to bring pizza. Maybe I'll bring a hat for you if you promise to never like bring your leftovers in for us again okay you say that now

you're gonna take a pizza roll home with you quid game kids at quid fucking quid he's a freaking i wasn't listening i was trying to think of squid game references talking shit now but you're gonna take a pizza roll home with you i'm probably not okay well i'm probably not i need to get in shape before tomorrow you got time yeah i got some trash bags that i'm gonna put on myself for my peloton ride today you're just gonna lose like 25 pounds of water weight i respect it you guys are gonna have to drag me into the resort because i'm just gonna be completely dead fishing because i have no energy help me we can see your ribs like we'll just drink one water dude no you're drew just totally dehydrated it looks so good you know drew's doing he's planning something he's gonna well drew doesn't eat before he goes

to the pool or drink water yeah yeah dylan i do have bad news for you so the bucket hats that we got there's absolutely no way one will fit your head it barely fit micah's head and i think your head's bigger than micah's yeah like i know how big your head is i know how big mine is and if it doesn't fit mine very well it's not going to fit yours don't even breathe one i don't want i don't want to experience the letdown what i think is going to happen is i'm going to have i'm going to have our new social media intern run a an instagram giveaway facts that's facts and so i'm gonna take a friend i'm gonna take some of the hats and then we'll give them out to the backers that's sick here's how you do

it follow this instagram tag two friends that you would like to see in this bucket tag 15 of your friends they have to be following too i like the 15 idea, give us your data and permission to sell it. All rights reserved. I reserved all rights. Okay. Got it, man. If you don't have time to get cut before Cabo, I suggest you do something else.

Maybe you should go buy cuts. Wow. Cuts clothing has spent years perfecting men's t-shirts, taking the look good good to a whole new level he's the best in the biz folks right out of college the cuts founder and ceo steven barelli great name he got a job at an agency with a casual dress code but in his first week he was told that his shirt was too at leisurely zoinks you don't want that don't zoinks us he searched all over the present or all over for a presentable and stylish t-shirt, but he couldn't find any that fit the bill, so he decided to solve the problem himself, designing premium men's t-shirts that could be worn anywhere on or off the clock.

These guys have sent us a ton of stuff. We've gotten everything from their t-shirts to polos to pants and joggers, just everything. And guess what? Look good, feel good, baby. True story. When I was getting fitted for my tuxedo, I was wearing a C cuts golf polo and the guy who was doing it who worked at the place he goes is that cuts i go

yeah he goes dude i love them oh what would the guy that's fitting you for a tuxedo know about style a lot he does it for a living quite a bit true story yeah they've got tons of great colors and styles crewnecks henley's long sleeves if you're trying to get Henley Thursday back up again from touching base days, boom, baby. It's time to ride. Look good, feel good. The moment you try one of these shirts on, you'll get it. There's nothing better. Refresh your wardrobe in time for summer with Cuts.

See for yourself why Cuts is one of the fastest growing men's brands with over a million shirts sold. That's a lot of shirts, boys. More than we've sold. You guys ready for the deal? Get 15% off of your first order by going to cutsclothing.com slash steam that's c-u-t-s clothing.com slash steam big news on the tl this morning you guys ever heard this dave chappelle guy no noted comedian he got tackled on stage last night.

The Hollywood Bowl. It's a bowl that's in Hollywood. What is the Hollywood Bowl? It's a venue. It's a venue, obviously. Where people go see concerts and stand-up comedy shows. It's like Hawaii versus Stanford. Ah, didn't go play there a couple years ago.

Pretty chill. It's like one of the bowls you're like, I guess I'll watch. I got nothing else to do. It's like one of the bowls. You're like, I guess I'll watch. I got nothing else to do. It's like 1030. Right. I get my bowls out in Hollywood. Yeah, you love it. We lost Dylan.

You lost me during the read. I'm sorry. Well, everyone's greatest fear came true, and that's that a comedian got attacked on stage in the wake. Kathy Griffin was right. No one's really giving her credit for that. Hat tip, Kathy Griffin. What'd she say? In the wake of the Griffin was right. No one's really giving her credit for that. Hat tip, Kathy Griffin. What'd she say?

In the wake of the slap heard around the world, she said that this is going to cause comedians to get attacked. She called it. She called it. One, I don't know. Wait, is she the one who tackled Deshapelle? No, it wasn't Kathy Griffin, to my knowledge.

Unknown assailant as of this time. No, they've arrested him. Okay. They've taken him into custody. I mean, his name hasn't been written. They loaded him into the ambulance last night. Because he got stomped. And he didn't look good.

It looked like his arm had been reattached in a different area of his body. He got danned with his arm? It was bad. It was not good. His arm was backward. I saw that video, too. He's on the stretcher. It looked like it was put on backwards.

You know when you have a toy figure and the range of motion is up and down. But if you can pull it off their arm off and put it on backward. That's what it looks like. You're right. And you're just saying it's kind of funny because you're a sadistic little kid. He got frat stomped. Yeah, he definitely got frat stomped. That's sick.

Like, dude. So the guy comes out and does it. There's not too many videos of him actually getting hit, but Chappelle kind of eats the hit. He took it pretty well. He hit the truck stick. He hit that R3. Damn.

Is that it? Is it R3? I don't know. I haven't played Madden in a while. The guy did have a blade, a prop gun with a blade on it. So he's being charged with assault with was it like four wheel or what kind of what kind of blades were oakley blades oh was it blade two he's rocking oaks he's pulled up in a truck with a big old oakley

sticker is it blade featuring wesley yeah it was snipes there uh this thing would have ended a lot differently if uh what did y'all watch the what did y'all watch the videos of the dudes after like when they just like behind the the set of the stage just beating the shit out of this guy yeah it's like if anyone if anyone's trying to copycat this uh just go watch the video and then remind yourself why you probably shouldn't attack people on stage because they didn't really hold any punches back it was just a classic beat down Dave Chappelle's gonna come with security yeah even Chris Rock was there. Was he really?

Yeah, he walked out and he was for a Netflix thing. He made a joke. He made a very topical joke. He goes, was that Will Smith? That's not a good joke. You could do, you're Chris Rock. Yeah, you're Chris Rock. You could do so much better. Think on your feet, fool.

Low hanging fruit for Chris Rock. This was at the hashtag Netflix is a joke festival. Surprisingly not canceled. I don't know if you guys saw netflix not doing so well yeah i saw a tweet today that said that they've uh their stock's been going down ever since it was revealed that uh all of dave chappelle's uh comedy shows on there have actually lost money you see they're gonna crack down on password sharing glad i shorted them i don't know if you guys did but i shorted them i've made a lot of money that's fantastic do y'all have your own password for netflix are you paying that monthly fee yeah i'm not unfortunate i'm leeching off my brother-in-law who's like 26

i'm just i'm trash i'm still on my parents cell phone plan you are trash you know what my parents did you know how i was on my parents cell phone plan and they wanted me off i still pay them monthly but they left the cell phone plan to another plan and they just left me alone on the plan so now i've been abandoned you straight up ghosted you on your plan yeah i called my dad on the phone the other day and he was just like i've abandoned my son oh man we're doing it aren't we it's not cheap to be the only one on the family plan it sucks yeah usually a family plan has more than one person on it i'm thinking about going into the at&t store just form tackling somebody that's not really fair because families you don't have to be a nuclear family to be a family it can just be well what's a nuclear family

i don't know all right here's the question ask it if you could tackle one stand-up comedian mid-show who are you tackling nick swartzen why and i would just hug him tickle him no you can't do that amy schumer you're gonna tackle shooms yeah is it gonna be like after she says someone else's joke she needs And I would just hug him, tickle him. No, you can't do that. Amy Schumer. You're going to tackle Schumes? Yeah. Is it going to be like after she says someone else's joke? She needs the smoke. I'm going to tackle John Mulaney.

Okay. You got a lot of heat on Twitter one time. Yeah, I did. And guess what? My assessment of character turned out to be very accurate. I think people support him now. They kind of do, but he was kind of a dick to like... It sounds like he's a real

asshole to uh the ladies in his life who's he with now i don't know olivia wild yeah no olivia mon i get those two confused i don't who's he linked to olivia wild isn't didn't she once you just served um custody papers like while she was on stage presenting something yeah that was uh yeah you know she's uh she's linked to harry styles ted lasso's kids previously previously linked to jason sudeikis actually previously jason sudeikis is winning this divorce wait she she hooked up with harry he's winning every award in the game right now for television shows and she's just getting strung along by john mulaney some Some people were seeing Ted Lasso. If had this not been pandemic,

nobody would have cared about. She got styles. That's a hot couple. The people that don't like Ted Lasso. I think they just don't like it because it makes other people too happy. It makes them happy. It makes the show makes them happier than other people. I'm telling you,

I can't get past that bottle episode. I don't, I, this is one of my least favorite takes that you have. The fact that you said it almost ruined the entire series for you was such a bad i didn't say ruin i said tainted did you say bottle no i need randy to run the tape wait they showed taint why would they show his taint in that episode didn't show it's a relatively family-friendly show episode tainted the show for me it was so bad honestly it was a one out of ten in the show before that was a nine out of ten and it completely threw me off i didn't think it was a one out of ten in the show before that was a nine out of ten and it completely threw me off coaster it's a it's a yin and the yang the duality of man

if you say juxtaposition i swear i'm crawling across the table it's the juxtaposition of the episode and how it complements all the other episodes you get to see coach beard from a different angle and see that he's also a tortured soul was it a concept episode as they say maybe a little bit i don't know what that is it didn't contribute anything to the storyline it was not entertaining it was weird it was dark that's why bottle episodes i that's why i like bottle episodes because you get to see the characters that you see in this this normal light all the time and you get to go see them do something completely different and they take on a whole different meaning it was. So are you saying it was produced cheaply

and restricted in scope to use as few regular cast members, effects, and sets as possible? That's what a bottle episode is. Yes, David. Thank you. Wow, that's off the dome too. That's really impressive.

Okay, well just be more clear next time. There's been some really good bottle episodes out there. I thought it was just like an episode that was like, the fuck's up with this bottle? Hey, when we get to Cabo, I'll show you a bottle episode as I'm turning them up.

You know what I'm saying? I hate that. Who left this 40-ounce Corona bottle in our bathroom? Oh, yeah, I remember that. How much does a beer cost at this resort? $43. Good. Probably less than the proper hotel.

I don't know. The last resort I went to in Mexico, Pacificos were $10 a pop. Hey, hit the duty free at the airport. What? Just roll out with a 30-pack of Pacificos? Hey, brother. Brother, I'm going to tell you like I told my wife. I ain't drinking anymore,

but I ain't drinking any less. What? That's crazy. Okay. I didn't tell her that. Okay. That's fine. All right. I just wanted to clarify okay man dave chappelle huh i'm trying to think of other comedians i'd like to tackle

um what about the one who steals all the jokes um amy schumer besides her oh uh carlos mencia carlos mencia he's a joke stealer oh the worst can i i've kind of i feel bad i know he stole jokes and that's i just i feel bad that his career i don't think he even performs anymore yeah he got yeah rogan rogan went out on stage and called him out at like the comedy club he rose rogan to be a good person i mean you said it before the pod i'd love for somebody to test rogan because i feel like you try to tackle Rogan, you just bounce off of him. He's a fire hydrant, and he can kick you.

He hits you with that spinning back kick, and it's over. Right. I'm 100% tackling John Mulaney. It's not close. And I also think that he's one of the few comedians out there that I could actually crumple as opposed to like...

If I tried to do like... Like Bo Burnham would probably beat me up what about Dane Cook nah Dane Cook Dane Cook is good like I I enjoy his presence in the world because he's just a punchline at this point and so I feel like that's necessary I don't feel I think it's punching down if we're tackling Dane Cook on stage I feel like Dane Cook I don't know. There were some guys in college that listened to him or watched his stuff every night before they went out.

And it kind of ruined Dane Cook for me. And it's probably for the best because he's not... His old stuff is not looked upon fondly. Certainly not. I would not want to tackle Bill Hicks because Bill Hicks, as you guys know, is Alex Jones. And I just don't want that smoke at all. What do you mean, is Alex Jones?

There's a theory that Bill Hicks, who's a deceased comedian, is actually Alex Jones. Okay. Really? Look it up. There's a lot of stuff on it. It's not true, but it's very funny to think about. Dan and I frequently joke about it. At the gym when you're trying to get a workout in and Dan's just distracting you?

Yeah. I try to get in and out in 50 minutes, and next thing you know, Dan and I are on the squat rack for like an hour and a half, and people are looking at us like, dude, are y'all done? He resembles him for sure. Can I tackle Aziz? What? What? Oh, God, that was really good why'd you do that that's pretty good man oh you skimmed my knee it's getting to the knee did you drag him off stage

i'm just gonna tackle him and be like i love you i don't actually love aziz i like some of his work he's funny i'm just looking at bill him and be like, I love you. I don't actually love Aziz. I like some of his work. He's funny. I'm just looking at Bill Hicks' photos. I mean, does he not? Did Bill Hicks, he got deplatformed. Well, I mean, yeah, by that you mean he died in 1994. So, yeah, I guess technically that is the ultimate deplatforming. Yeah, the ultimate deplatforming.

Is death the ultimate cancel culture? It is, yeah. That's why I'm against cancel culture. Yeah, cancel culture got a lot of people. Oh, man. Oh, dude, like how's your grandma doing? Oh, she got canceled last year. Too bad.

Oh, man. It's tough. Should I tell the grandmas out there? I haven't gotten canceled yet. This is disturbing. disturbing i don't i don't like this i like dave chapelle yeah i if i if you're a stand-up comedian out there uh if we've learned anything from last night's run-in is that you need an absolute crew with you and he had one anytime you're performing don't don't go to the laugh factory alone make sure you have a crew member with you that can beat the fuck out of somebody that's fair chapelle's top like as far as comedians with crews his he's up there like that's a crew i don't want to stomp me out no no no yeah they'll put your arm on backwards and like

all those guys ride for him so hard too you might be popping this thing back it's my arms literally yeah how is that how they put him in the like in the in the stretcher i don't understand how that's the that's the way they they set him up for success i don't know it's like dude just crack my arm back one time and the dude was clearly aware that there's a camera like right recording this just kind of like all right look it's like record scratch so you're wondering how i got here my back my arms on backward hilarious probably gonna hurt real bad when they have to oh re-break it tough tough scene very tough scene this guy might need to get like a little disguise on in the future next time he

goes out in public i know what you're doing i saw some grays in his hair i know what you're doing he might need to holler at some l'oreal paris men expert one twist hair color you guys hear about this stuff i sure have dude it offers natural undetectable gray coverage i think someone in this room might be able to uh use this and benefit from it a little bit um not only could i use it i will be using it let's go very shortly so i started graying probably early like like 22, 23-ish. I started to see them come in, and they've been slowly filling in. And I've always wondered how I'm going to look if I were to eventually dye my hair and get rid of the grays. And guess what?

We're about to find out, folks. Well, what are you saying here? I'm saying I'm about to use L'Oreal. Are you going on a hair journey? I'm going on a hair journey. Let's go. I'm going to get the'Oreal you going on a hair journey? I'm going on a hair journey let's go I'm gonna get the grays out and see how it works for me

I'm excited I can feel the backers right now putting one foot in and being like okay I'm listening for a long time I've been like just I've been like

you know considering doing this and this is the perfect opportunity to see how it looks I'm gonna go for it Bae's pretty excited to see how I'm gonna look she'll like the way you look this stuff's made for men it only takes five minutes yeah i said five minutes five minutes to have like just better looking hair sign me up the product is all in one bottle which has never been done before with hair

color literally no one's doing that besides l'oreal there's no mixing of multiple formula tubes my tubes and it's available at amazon and wal and Walmart or in stores at Walmart near the razors. So if you're in the razor section and they have all those things locked up, you don't even have to worry about it. Just head over to L'Oreal part, snag some of this stuff and just match that L'Oreal Paris Men Expert One Twist Hair Color button. Yeah, exactly. This is the first men's hair color of its kind. It offers natural undetectable gray coverage. It's easy and mess free, particularly in comparison to other products on the market for men and for women. It's really foolproof. And over the next six weeks, Dylan will be sharing his experience about, you know, going gray, breaking the stigma of men hair coloring and what it takes.

If there is a stigma, that's ridiculous to me. I think more people do this than people realize more men do this and people realize you're about to become a i didn't know this i didn't know this but i recently learned that my father did it i'm about to put stigma in a headlock and just give it like a no ryan i'm gonna no ryan it oh you're gonna hit him with that yeah exactly yeah well hopefully that hopefully that stigma has a great head of hair that's been uh you know there we go colored with some l'oreal that's right uh head over to the description uh in the or head over to the description of this episode you can click right there and you can just go find out what all this this stuff's all about go make it happen can i read something that

was found on reddit i suppose you can yeah um we work for a pretty lax company the last company worked for us pretty lax as well we could play fifa whenever we wanted yeah as the company was going downhill fast you catch will and uh t-man just just playing some footy out there you know i was getting some pong in you could show up anytime between 8 and 11 and nobody was really going to do anything about it i feel like we had a two-day ping pong tournament like yeah like it was like a it was pool play and we didn't really get much content out of it either no we at one point we had a live cam set up for 24 hours a day in the office to show the ping pong table and then y'all got laid off like a week later yeah i walked by and just was like

bye well something went viral on reddit now everyone's shitting on it's called the sweat pledge it's a pledge that a boss handed out to his workers you guys want to know what sweat stands for tell me skill and work ethic aren't taboo it's a bad acronym bad oh i want to make you sweat sweat until you can't sweat no more aren't taboo if you think i'm not playing sweat the entire time in cabo you're mistaken that's gonna get old can i read a couple things that this boss has uh expected of his employees at this point one of them was i believe that I've won the greatest lottery of all time. I am alive. I walk the earth. I live in America above all things. I am grateful. I see that on there and I'm out. I'm like, Hey man, that that's not the kind of manager I want

to work for. Like if I'm getting managed by somebody who's handing me a piece of paper written in Calibri and there's telling me that I have to do this I'm like dude I did not win the lottery in fact if I did win the lottery I wouldn't have to actually talk to you right now I love a little ground floor American exceptionalism it's like yeah let's let's let's ride let's do some work uh he also they also said uh I believe hold on where was the one that I really liked number six is real bad read it for a player i believe the best way to distinguish myself at work is to show up early stay late and cheerfully volunteer for every crappy task there is no take note randy no i would love to see i would love to see someone mopping the floor of this place and see if the dude who handed out these pieces of paper is

willing to uh go wring that mop out for him to clean the bathroom oh i want to do it sir let me i'll stay late to do it this guy's if you if you if your if your work has the like the expectation that you're supposed to show up early and then stay late every day and do the worst tasks like that no no you're paid 40 hours a week this guy's a yeah this guy's a boomer right it's got to be i don't know this is like the lunch this is a lunch pail boomer said uh i believe lunch pail boomers are the worst they are i believe the most the most annoying sounds in the world this is number seven i believe that the most annoying sounds in the world are whining and complaining i'll never make or i will never make them if i'm unhappy at work i will either find a new job or just find a way to be happy this is toxic honestly i think we should give this to randy randy's been kind of toxic lately

he's been spreading pink eye to everybody we kind of he made us go he made us go online and say that he got a bee sting don't blame this on the bees that was a yellow jacket i believe that my safety is my responsibility agree it's kind of the company's responsibility like the eeoc would disagree what's the eeoc that's like the olympic committee yeah totally corrupt i don't know why i put this on the rundown like it's not that outrageous but for some reason i just want to shit on corporate america right now like you're not changing the world shitting on corporate america is popular it's corporate America right now. You're not changing the world. Shitting on corporate America is popular. It's a trend right now.

What would tired guy think about this, Dave? Boy, this would have been... We could have written one heck of a click-baity title for this. This is something. Why do you keep zooming in on your computer? Because I'm having trouble reading it. My eyes are... Oh, no. Do we have a vision plan at wash media no my eyesight is deteriorating by the day we could get one do we really not we really don't fairly inexpensive too we might need to add

that for 2023 because i i haven't gotten a new prescription since grand x holler holler some lasik this is uh this is i'm not bad enough to get LASIK. This is just Coach wanting the quarterback to sign the pledge before the senior year. Sitting by the pool, chasing the muff around. You're a muffaletta guy. You do like a little muffaletta. Yeah, they're good.

Snarf that down. Hey, Coach, I may play ball next year, but I'm going to play on my own terms. Oh, shit. He wanted to burn that grass, that sticky shit. Hey, man, he just wanted to hang out with the boys. He wanted to burn that sticky-ass weed, dude. He wanted to hang out with his 24-year-old friend. He wanted to go see Aerosmith and burn down.

What's wrong with that? Sounds pretty dope. Yeah. Do you guys do what I do, and every time you pee, you think of the Tom Herman urination test? Not every time I pee. If my pee is anything but clear, then I immediately worry. You're a bad guy was the yellowest color on the chart.

I think about it all the time. I hate how much real estate that chart owns in my head. What did it range from a good teammate to a bad guy? Was that what it was? Genuinely, the most memorable thing tom herman did at texas was create a chart for urine yeah well he did he didn't mock um drew lock drew lock with the backpack thing that's so lame to mock a college kid though dude like are you really gonna mock that college kid so it said so the top three levels which i would even say that level

three of the p is not a championship hydration level but that would he that's what he considers levels one two and three what the level eight when it's literally burnt sienna it says you're a bad guy you're not a bad guy you probably have something serious yeah you need to go to a urologist like things aren't okay you probably have you're a bad guy condition why aren't you drinking enough water you're're a bad guy. It's probably not your fault. Imagine not just peeing and having Tom Herman standing over your shoulder being like, you're a selfish fucking teammate. Coach, it's burning when I pee, and it's also brown. You're a bad guy.

Oh, you piece of shit. Get the fuck out of my locker room. That's it. Pulls a scholarship. Update from Klein in Mexico, who just arrived at the resort. He said, this place is White Lotus, Mexico. Yeah. Sick. Sorry. And then we're talking about p and i i pivoted no honestly i'm just kind of annoyed that we're

at work and he's like giving us live updates like i might just hit him with like the thumbs up emoji like thanks yeah cool cool boys sitting around talking about p yeah we're talking about tom herman's hydration levels is area 51 a part of the... Is that a thing at Texas? I don't know. Because it says, for Level 6 and 7 of his hydration chart, it says, blatant disregard for your teammates. You are headed to Area 51. I'm just imagining that's a place where you just do the Oklahoma drill over and over.

It's like Mike Leach's shed. Where he put Greg James' kid. Probably headed for some conditioning drills. Where's Leach these days? Mississippi State? Yeah. Okay. I can never remember where he... I always think he's at Arkansas. headed for some conditioning drills where's leach these days mississippi state yeah yeah okay i i could i can never remember where he i always think he's at arkansas no but that would be i mean it

would be fitting yeah yeah can we make a hydration chart for our should we just print this out i kind of like it are we gonna check everyone's p color daily i can i expose the office like the show no yeah our office so the other day dylan you were out but i went in the bathroom here i went to the bathroom and i i did something shitty not actually shitty i washed my hands and I took the last paper towel and I threw it away. Was that you didn't change it? I didn't change it. And then about, I don't know, two, three hours later, I went in the bathroom. Other people had gone in the bathroom as well. And there was still no paper towel on there. That means that people were just,

one, they were being scumbags like me and not replacing the paper towel. And two, that means that we have some non-hand washers in the building. Or they just let, they were being scumbags like me and not replacing the paper towel. And two, that means that we have some non-hand washers in the building. Or they just air dried. They could have done that too. Should we get a little cabinet for in there to put stuff in? Paper towels, TP, stuff like that. Dave's documents. Dave's documents.

Yeah. Maybe we should get a little cabinet. We could peruse our old check stubs while you're doing your business. I don't hate that. Put that on the list. Should we get some magazines on the back there? Ooh, yeah. Men's Health. Golf Digest. Pinhouse. you're doing your business i don't get on the list we get some magazines on the back there oh yeah men's health yeah golf digest penthouse oh relax you guys you guys are relaxed i have i have brought in a coffee table book for some ambiance over at the couch area that's a good

vibe i like yeah i haven't put it there yet but it's going to match really well with the candle that's currently sitting there the sunday scary scented candle always trim your wicks right yeah magazines and newspapers like in the bathroom always kind of gross me out because like yeah the last i know i know what i know what the guy who read that was doing yeah but not in your own house he has like little no but little if i'm at dylan's house i'm not i'm not grabbing the articles i'm not grabbing the better homes and gardens off the back of his toilet. I know that people have been touching that. Oh, yeah. You give me town and country, the pages are all stuck together.

Really? You love towns and countries. I just sweat a lot when I read it. It's weird how little they actually cover about towns and countries. It's mostly just the royal family on there. Uh-oh. He does it to himself, you know people don't know they're listening they're about they'll never know they'll never know stop no we're good

so wait what do we know what company this no that's what i was trying to figure out i want to know what where this is because i want to know how much of a beating it is to work for these people. It's probably one of those places where they make you, like, your restroom break, your bathroom break. You have to, like, not clock out, but, like, there's, like, my buddy worked at a place where if your computer went, like, inactive for, like, five minutes, it logged it. So if you went to the bathroom. Are you kidding me? Dude, I'm not kidding like i'm not kidding i would rather i would rather be absolutely broke scraping by than work at a company that tracks my laptop activity you know i don't i don't want to do that i'm never doing that i'd be dude i just imagine me like dave what do you do i get why companies do it i guess but like i it's just i'm so separated

from that that environment i don't think i could ever go back i don't want to go back i don't want to do it if i if you had to i got called out one time for for you could see the activity in this this program that i was using and i got called out one time and they were like yeah i saw some gaps in the afternoon and i was just like fuck off like i do not care you put me in i have to wear a suit every day and just go to the corporate environment i i would be just oh i don't i couldn't do it we're soft now oh yeah we're soft we're spoiled it's like in wally with like the out of shape people because they've just been like on their little like things all day like that's that's us in the corporate world. We can't go back.

I'd just be lost. I think that the corporate world, at least in Austin, which I know is not the same as other places, is evolving into something a little bit more friendly. I feel like that. Employees are having better times. Companies are sticking to work from home or making it an option for a lot of

people um i saw some tweet went viral today some dude just announced that his company moved to a four-week work week which is great i love that yeah micah got to do it for a while yeah he no longer does the four-day work week but he seemed to like it maybe we'll hear from him next week on this uh very program keep it up if you have like a dress code you have to wear like business cash or a suit whatever it better be because you're like you're meeting with clients not because you just want like a a sharp like work environment you know i get like not wanting people doing like you know like dressing like us every day scumbags yeah most days wearing uh what cowboys polos that are way too small yeah that's a heat polo though it's a little tight these days you've been bulking though

well you know it's not shreddy wetty you know what i'm wearing right now pair of jeans from everlane okay huh how about that I love their shit. I'm swagging right now. Anytime Bae wants me to look like extra sharp, she picks up my Everlane. She says, you're wearing these tonight. Dude, I've been wearing their t-shirts. I got some of these t-shirts. They're a little oversized, a little loose fitting, and I absolutely love how they fit.

But more than anything, I love what the company is all about. You got to be careful about using plastic in everyday life. It's easy to overlook plastic from synthetic materials in our closets. And Everlane has made it 90% of the way to having no new plastics in their entire apparel, footwear, and packaging supply chain. To combat the last 10% that currently doesn't have quality alternatives, they've created Next Collective, a fellowship program to boost innovation for ending new plastics in the fashion

industry. It's pretty cool. These guys do everything. They're the most transparent clothing company you'll find out there right now. They've got the fellowship program that brings diverse perspectives together to clean up the fashion industry. And this year, they gave $100,000 in grants to entrepreneurs working to reduce new plastics. Applicants were considered based on long-term potential, community impact, and collaboration. And each fellow kept ownership of their ideas and received twenty thousand dollars to advance their projects

i bet y'all didn't realize how much everlane was giving back and doing good i did not it's a cool company that's why they linked with us dylan you've been rocking everything from them lately you got some you even got some kicks from them that like went went way harder than i was ever expecting them to go i'm blown away blown why blown away by their shoes i really am i got two pairs from them can i have one not really expecting um to like fall in love with them but i absolutely did they're sick man and very comfortable i have some shoes that kind of rub on the back like the the achilles part and they just super uncomfortable these do not do that so your achilles is safe yeah good make earth day every day and be a part of the movement for more sustainable clothing go

to everlane.com slash steam and sign up for 10 off of your first order that's 10 off of your first order when you go to everlane.com slash steam and sign up i like that you're worried about your achilles dylan's using achilles The Achilles scares the shit out of me. The reason I said that is because I have some shoes that look similar, different brand, and they just rub really hard back there. I have to do a band-aid situation. It sucks, man. Dude, band-aids don't do that.

The heel blister is a beating. It is. Top five bad place to get a blister. And they just look dope. What's the worst place to get a blister. And they just look dope. What's the worst place to get a blister? On your hand during a golf trip? Because you use your feet for everything. Anywhere else?

Yeah, but dude, I feel like when you have a blister on your foot, the Band-Aids that they have in the world right now, they do a pretty good job of covering that up and making you feel pretty safe. Your hand, that can just kill you. You get one right here, you get a callus right here on your palm during a golf trip, it's over.

So you boys in the 19th hole, I'll be the one sipping McAltry's. Stop. You guys want to hear a new theme song? Raise the ducks, that was beautiful. What are you doing? That's kind of vibey. Dude, it's the drunk drawer baby that's sick we're just talking about private parts for the next 20 minutes oh the junk drawer like we're talking about junk what dude how hard did that theme song go no one had that happen no one's no one's doing

segments about junk yeah we are i, literally like most of our content. Aside from us, I mean. Do you guys want to start with a fish or do you guys want to start with the guy who grew a penis on his arm? And you got to close with the arm penis. Okay, let's start with the fish that looks like a pair of nuts.

A new fish just dropped. We're wearing out the New York Post today. Yeah, we are. Hey, to the people out there who are not watching currently, hop on youtube.com slash watch media and you can see this photo that randy just tossed on the screen for us that is a new fish oh it's gonna just drop this really what huh it says a video of a ship a fish shaped like

a pair of testicles has been circulating online uh roman fedoratsov a fisherman and photographer from mermansk russia loves to share all the weird findings out at sea and he recently found something that uh kind of looks like a uh female part or depending on how you look at it uh a male part it's it's kind of it's the rare uh both it's in the eye of the beholder which female part are you talking about uh the downstairs huh what maybe the upstairs i don't know it depends what you want okay what is it what's the stat on like the amount of undiscovered species of living in the ocean uh there's just fish dongs just swimming around down there this is the norm yeah we we're just scratching the surface on this looks like a pair of shaved uh testes i mean it even has like the hair follicle

parts on it that's the grossest part it's really really gross it's real gross if you're like you're on vacation in i guess russia does this like does it let's just let's just say you're vacationing in russia where these are native yeah it's good and you're just you're sprinting into the ocean they're flocking to russia on spring break you just trip on a pair of nuts i guess it wouldn't be spring break if there are millennials but you see what i'm saying it's their spring break in russia right now okay spring break gen z what they're just tick tocking over in russia that's don't spring break in russia looking for the ball sack fish about to go in there and get britney griner back man that's a scary deal i

can't believe she's still over there like they did designate they did do some designations that will allow the united states to uh try to not let russia complete their process that they want to do in order to keep her over there we're moving in the right direction i think gotta get her back she's so tall that's that's a lady bear there she's so tall oh yeah she was a lady bear i would not fuck with her did she dunking games into college she definitely has dunked a couple times she goes through like between the legs windmill she probably drilled yeah yeah you Yeah. She could barely get one down. Okay. I'm just... That's true.

Any other nice things to say? Yeah. As she's a... She had a great career. In Russia. I'm sure she's a lovely young lady. Can we get one of these for the office? Can we get a fish tank for the office?

What if we got a full aquarium for the office? You want one of these ballsack? Let's acquire fish that only look like private parts. That's fun. Let's get one of those dong fish that david was talking about are you a dong fish or a hammerhead you're gonna get a hammerhead shark correct he's gonna eat all the ball stack fish the hammerhead is pretty fucking wild it's a cool ass cool ass what happened to your head dude oh yeah it looks like a hammer i know i get that all the time buddies call me hammerhead that's his that's his mob name it looks like it's a hammer hammerhead did y'all fuck with the uh the sharks gummy snacks when you were kids yes

absolutely oh my god right no they had all different colors the white ones were the the my favorite for some reason that's right i can taste it they were opaque oh yeah what is up with hammerhead sharks why are they shaped like that i don't know why their eyes be doing that what what what purpose does that serve in nature it looks like they got photoshopped those are pretty wild can we get's get an aquarium. Let's get a pet in here. It's not. Why? Let's get a hamster or something. A guinea pig. Dude, those things smell.

We don't... Rodents smell. We could get Randy's parakeet from Indiana. Randy's got a parakeet? What if we just got a dog? Oh, did you miss that? We all have dogs. Randy's a bird guy.

Yeah, Randy's a bird guy. You missed that. Oh, that's cool. You must have not gotten that far in the episode. That's not weird at all. That's cool. It's weird dylan didn't listen to the drowning pool part of the episode from monday yeah what happened it's kind of fucked up you'll stop talking about the wedding and i turn i turn it off i'm lizard guy i'm on the market for uh in

the market for an iguana dude they're really easy to like have around i think they're really dope iguanas are sick yeah they stink i had chameleons growing up one of my chameleons ate the head off the other chameleon walls come on come on come on come on chameleon do what on the chameleon why did you i did not do that on the chameleon day like relax say that and he just gets so excited that he's gonna come on chameleon i don't know the rest he comes and goes he comes and goes stop come on come on okay everyone's already seen the photo of the dude that's growing the penis on his arm but i'm gonna have randy toss it on the screen right now i don't know if there's an unblurred version but the photos where he the photos of him just sitting there with like this serious look on his face i i

can't no one takes you seriously when you have a penis dripping from your arm. Is this real? Yeah. Okay. Why was the penis growing on his arm? Was it a defect or was it intentional? He lost his penis due to a severe blood infection. Okay?

Tough scene. His piss chart. He was a bad guy is what we're saying. Tough, man. And so he had a bad guy is what we're saying that tough man and so he had a surgery where okay i don't want to mess this up i want to do this i want to do this man's arm penis justice he was left with the artificial phallus poking out of his forearm because surgeons surgeons subsequently manufactured a new penis for the father of two using a skin flap from his

left arm they plan to move the man-made member down to his pubic area but were forced to stop the operation due to lack of oxygen in his blood so then he just had the penis growing from his arm now they have taken it from his arm and put it onto his crotch area if you're if let's just hypothetically say let's just say you lose your penis okay where'd it go i don't know where it is and they give you the opportunity to grow it back yeah a chimp ripped it off and threw it in the garbage threw it in the gutter threw it in the fountains remember that that lady who cut her husband's dinger rain above it it's tough man she cut his penis off okay she threw it out the window of her car where are you gonna where are who cut her husband's dinger off. Dorena Bobbitt. It's tough, man.

She cut his penis off. Okay, well- Good enough, she threw it out the window of her car. Where are you gonna regrow your penis if you have the opportunity to do so? That was gonna be my first question. Like, why not choose a place where it's easier to conceal on your body?

Maybe like my thigh. It's not that bad to conceal it, because like he's putting his button down over it. He's got that Oxford just over it. Yeah, but it's still like, hey, wait, wait, what's the big bulge under your sleeve there, pal? Hey a dick on your arm you got a knife up your sleeve you just happen to see me actually no it's a penis yeah my new hang down i'm growing did he get can you get hard on your arm should be ready next fall i would put it where the old penis was yeah that's that's

probably the number one that's where i would grow there yeah there it is that's the answer does his arm penis get hard yeah hard to say well they said they didn't do it because of the the lack of blood flow and so that means he was getting the blood flow here i feel like it's very possible he's just in the gym he's just hitting some curls and that thing with each with each curl it just smacks his face it goes from like uh seven o'clock to eight o'clock all the way to 12 like it's hanging down like this is a sizable thing you can see it in this guy's eyes that he's been through it and he's sick of this process like hey uh mr what's his name peter malcolm hey malcolm how's your wiener coming

along dude do you want to hear the scary part of this dude do you want to hear the scary part of this story it says he's a mechanic who's from norfolk england it said he was left mortified in 2010 when his penis quote just dropped off onto the floor can you imagine can you imagine like did my wallet just fall out of my pot nope oh man i wish i had my otter on. It's my ding-a-ling. Right. It's Randy's phone. I don't want to do that.

I don't want to do that. It would have protected it. I think we're burying the lead. This sounds like a very, very breakthrough story, that they were able to regrow this or put it there. Is this not a marvel the casual nature of like how they report this does make me have some questions for them we did we are utilizing the new york post yeah they're not exactly a little sensational yeah they're they're a little ridiculous can i can i say what their tweet was yeah go ahead this reads like a Vice article. It says,

my penis fell off, but it regrew on my arm. Now I'm a real man again. Facts. That is big facts. Yeah, I'm not going to question the guy's manhood. It's just really unfortunate what happened to him. I still think they should have chosen a better spot

to grow this thing. Where? Die. Inner die. Conceal that bad boy. No, I would have put a tailbone so it's like a tail. That'd be kind of cool. And your tail guy.

No one wants a penis tail. Your dong tail. Maybe because the skin there is just most like a penis. Can I ask a question? Is there an unblurred photo of this thing? We need can i ask a question is there an unblurred photo of this thing we need to find it if somebody has the unblurred photo please let us know i'm sorry man i'm not i know it's it's does it have like a but a head and everything you know yeah i think it's a functioning p is it circumcised great question would love to know drop the

pixelation i'll tell you look we need to see it what what button did you hit over there this weekend in fun presented by busy hard seltzer oh a little hard seltzy by the by the pool side yeah that's a vibe oh catch me doing oh me me applying some sunscreen before heading to that pool you think think they sell- Smelling all coconutty? You think they sell Vizzy at the duty-free shop at the airport in Cabo? They better. Daddy needs that. I'm smuggling it. Daddy needs it.

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I think I could have crushed some of those. But yeah, got to get out there and try the Mimosa Hard Seltzer pack that they got going on right now. This stuff's hard to find, guys. When we give you this CTA today, you just better know that you might need to look up some of these places because they were sold out the other day when I was trying to go get some. That means call to action.

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because busy is a vibe to find out where you can purchase busy go to busy hard seltzer.com slash washed that's busy hard seltzer.com slash washed to get updates on their latest flavor drops and more sign up for the emails at busy hard seltzer.com slash subscribe that's busy hard seltzer.com slash subscribe i love busy love it squad's going out of town together this weekend yeah not randy just catching up on klein's texts what does he he needs to stop dude like he's i don't care dude like i don't care i'm not on vacation mode yet i'm in grind mode he just he just got done with the busiest week of his at his job so yeah you know what take go the day earlier dave why'd you put air quotes and you said job i don't know i was like am i supposed to say where we were i don't you know i didn't i don't know he owns i'm a

he owns some schlotzkies he owns two in panama city beach franchisee it was really hard it was hard on them during spring break this year. Well, wait. Are we not going to post the picture of the bartender? I don't want to dox him too hard. That's my fear. I almost feel like the beauty of him is that no one knows what he looks like. And the backers have to go find him.

Okay. But the fact that somebody went and found him and we can confirm that the person that found him, we can confirm that it's him. 100%. It makes me happy that we did that he trusted but verified that this guy was real yeah and had him walk out from behind the bar to take the pick beautiful which i'm surprised that guy did i heard he i heard he jumped over the bar no he did yeah he slid across it like it was like duke's a hazard or something i would have paid to see that guy walks in yeah asked to take a picture with me said

something about podcasts i don't know what that is he's from oregon how do they make money you follow me here these guys doing the broad jump in their office is that them you understand what i'm telling you i thought he was a secret agent he knew about schlotzky's to firehouse schlotzky's or firehouse which one you franchising schlotzky's if i'm doing a sandwich company i'm franchising a jersey mike but you can only order them by the tray at my schlotzkies that's the deal it's only for lunch and learn purpose dude let's call it tray bombs like you have to sign you have to sign a waiver that says these are for learning not for breakfast or dinner yeah very specific consumption all right serve a purpose if you're new here i'm sorry yeah no no this is yeah you don't get it you just can i talk about my weekend yeah fine i mean i

think we'll just all talk about our collective weekends together going to cal we're going we're going to be together leaving very early in the morning what time do you get in by the way will my flight's at 6 a.m tomorrow or 6 30 a.m tomorrow oh so you're right behind us are you flying through anywhere i don't think so you're non-stop dylan i'm gonna be honest with you i have no clue i have no clue what my actual itinerary is no idea if i'm where i'm flying to what airline i'm on dave and i are unfortunately flying through dallas you guys are on a different airline than me i believe we're american yeah American. Yeah, I'm on Southwest. I'm American on the way home.

I don't know. I mean, yeah. In the bathroom, you're European. It's terrible. Terrible. Do you guys have your fits planned? Kind of. I'll figure it out tonight.

I got a lot of work to do. I'm fortunately, in addition to taking care of my lawn situation, I got to do some packing, probably some laundry. I got a big day. Are you bringing your golf clubs to Mexico, or are you renting golf clubs there? The clubs are going with me. Always bring the sticks.

You know me, man. Always be golfing. That's something that I've often said a number of times. You got pay for those on american you know what i'm gonna do yeah i know i'm doing something i've never done before i'm not checking a bag for an international flight i'll be carrying on everything and i'll be running through through uh customs and heading straight to the pool to go see klein i considered uh doing the same thing but then i got a text from britney while we were recording just now and she said by the way, I'm bringing two suitcases. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I can already tell that I'm going to get really annoyed with the people that are on my bus to the resort from the hotel when I'm sitting there waiting to leave and they're waiting for their checked bags and they're in a long line of people because that's what happens at the cabo airport that being said i'm gonna keep that tab open outside getting pacifico buys pacifico while we're waiting come find me come find me in the airport i'll buy you pacifico you'll back out there and you're gonna be in cabo this weekend come find me in the airport i'll buy you pacifico i might just post up at stk you'd have to go to the departure side though that's the issue see ya i i went there dave i went to stk in the airport not great terrible you're telling me an airport stk steakhouse absolutely terrible i don't i don't i got their pulled pork quesadilla not what you want before a flight pork when he pulled wasn't it was

i'm excited i'm gonna belly up to the bar with you every night by the way i will be vlogging i will be vlogging the sad salad from start to finish tick talking i'll be tick talking the entire time from circling back we are going to we're going to do more tick tock views on this trip maybe not i don't want to make any promises I can't keep, but I have a couple of tick tocks that we are going to make and they're going to be lit. So we have a welcome bonfire. The first night,

tomorrow night after dinner, bonfire with a bar set up out there. I think drinks are on us. I don't know why we're doing this. You said it. So I don't know why we're doing it. They're officially on you. I think maybe y'all are paying for my, you should, you should know you're paying doing this. You said it, so. I don't know why we're doing this. They're officially on you. I think.

Maybe y'all are paying for them. You should find out. No, you're paying for them. Because this could be significant for you. We're traveling all the way to Mexico for your ass. You can buy me a margarita. We spent all of our money on the wedding already. This is loco. How are you going to financially recover?

We're not. Yeah, it's going to. Friday during the day, we got a cabana rented by the pool. Obviously, obvi. It's going to... Friday during the day, we got a cabana rented by the pool. Obviously, Avi. It's going to be an absolute scene. The pools there are fantastic. I will be living in the spa. Living in the spa.

Catch me. All right. I want to go with you. I'm going to get treatments. I'm going to come back looking like a whole new Will. Are you going to get a facial? Will 3.0 is going to be in the building. I want to start getting facial care.

You want me to give you a facial? Dave, you have a man i know but i'd like to i need uh i want to get my skin i want a chemical peel peel me just you know so i can just slowly american psycho my face off okay i'll do it i can give you a facial i've got all these lotions that i can use moisturizers i'm just serums i can't he's gonna swim up like like i am not me i'll be i'll be watching you guys from from my uh ocean view this one up is dope whatever if if i'm in my room more than like more than an hour a day when i'm not sleeping that i'm in my room too much you're gonna have to walk up to your room imagine i'll levitate there bitch imagine walking up to your room i'm gonna push you in the pool every night when you're going back to your room just swim back bitch bye that's fine don't test i will don't test me swim up

what say it nothing i Nothing. I'm thinking. We're still... The golf situation is unclear. See, this is almost why I don't like playing golf in Mexico at this point. Because nobody ever gets a tee time solidified until it's like the worst time. The problem is you can't. Why? Because in order to make a tee time, you have to sign up.

With the two courses at least affiliated with the resort, you have to sign up with the two courses at least affiliated with the the resort you have to sign up for a property tour it's like a entire morning of something yeah i tried it last time i went i know and i instead of that i still brought my clubs and i just asked the concierge as soon as we got there can i play golf he said where do you want to play and what time he made me a tea i played the next morning at 9 a.m i it was fucking great there's a course that i can get you guys on well your brother without having to do it your brother-in-law who doesn't who wants to play he will only play one course it happens to be the most prestigious course in mexico and one of the most prestigious ones in the world i don't even know what a green fee is pretty sure it's right next door is that the one that's right there i think so whatever this is why this is why i hate dealing with golf in mexico it's it's always a charade

you either have to like pay 500 or you have to absolutely beg somebody to get away from their presentation about their time shares oh boy it's just did you confirm that it's not it's not cool yeah it is that's the one right there it's right next to nobu that's not the. Yeah, it is. That's the one right there. It's right next to Nobu. That's not the one I played. I played Cardinal. I'm talking about Diamante. I think they're both Tigers. That's Cardinals. That's right.

Diamante. Diamond. Stanford Cardinals. Yeah, this golf is too rich for my blood. I'm going to be sitting poolside drinking Mezcal Marks and talking about how I'm the Mezcal Mark guy. It's going to end up just being Brett Kline and I. That's fine.

Catch me and Will just pounding Mezcal. Y'all are going to be on the course just like, I wonder what the other guys are doing. hell mark guy it's gonna end up just being brett klein and i that's fine dude catch me catch me and will just pounding mask y'all are gonna be on the course just like i wonder what the other guys are doing you're gonna check your instagram story and we're just gonna be in crowd surfed at cabanas i'm gonna be super faded when you get back you guys are gonna be all like tired by a pool you're gonna be golf cart golf course tired i think i could sit in the spa for a little bit dave you're probably gonna you're probably gonna fire like a 97 i would take that right now i would take i would take mid 90s you're gonna get frustrated four holes in and wish you were at the pool with us it's gonna be windy as hell and you guys are gonna be like why do we even do this we shouldn't have done this but then

you're gonna have to have the conversation that's like no we can't tell them that it sucked because then they're gonna be like oh they were right y'all are just lames, man. I'm sorry. We're going to be peeping the sperm whales. Are they humpbacks? The humpback whales? Maybe some hammerheads. No, it's humpback season.

Is it actually? It's not. I don't think it is. It's really not. I don't know, man. Yeah, it's definitely not humpback season. It's halibut season. Learned that last night. Goes from March to October. It's halibut season. Learned that last night. It goes from March to October. It's a bad weekend to be a ceviche. The citrus cooks the fish.

It's a bad weekend to be a Wagyu glizzy poolside. Hear about this? I don't go to Mexico to eat sandwiches. I had forgotten about that. I think I had, didn't I order it? I think I had the Wagyu glizzy. You did. You did.

You had everything that Dylan wrapped, and as you said, it was fine. It was definitely a spinach salad. There's a lot of pressure on you with this spinach salad. I'm just not. Yes, because if it's not good, if it's just okay, you're going to get outvoted by the members of this podcast, and you're going to be the only one out there absolutely standing this spinach salad.

You don't know anything, dude. I don't. I haven't had it yet. What kind of kind of dressings on this thing champagne vinaigrette shampoo find out bitch you'll find out okay okay okay okay i'm gonna try to eat fish for every meal just saying dude be careful man your mercury levels might be hella high after that might be low-key like super high i'm not trying to get iodine poisoning but uh hella high after that. Yeah, might be low key, like super high. I'm not trying to get iodine poisoning, but I am trying to become more of a pescatarian. Really?

I'm trying to, I'm trying to get more. If we did halibut last night- It's great for your cholesterol levels. I've got a killer coconut aminos halibut recipe. Dude, at least halibut's cheap. It's not that bad. I mean, okay, as far as far as fish goes yeah but compared to like meat a nice piece of meat you're right you're right you're right it also doesn't fill you up

like a nice piece of meat so i always uh i always make halibut when sally leaves town because like you do what i do you eat fancy ass shit when when correct leaves my best meals are when sally's out of town and she's like why don't you make like this looks that looks amazing why don't you do that when i'm there i'm like because you always take control in the kitchen and i just take a back seat i made like a reverse seared ribeye one time i was just like what why don't we ever do that at home like yeah didn't ask it's a lot cheaper for one i think i'm just gonna vibe out i think i'm just gonna get head it's like some noise canceling headphones and just sit at the pool watching movies and stuff and just ignore the fuck out of you guys how excited are y'all very i'm so i i've been looking forward to getting out

of town for a minute now i'm so pumped man yep i need to i i'm excited to tune out and do nothing if you want to swim up to my suite hang out you can i'm good i'm good sure yeah i'll be looking at i don't want to know what's going on in that suite. I'll be looking at views of the ocean. I'm going to be in there using our... What's our... What's our sponsor with the VSN? I'm sorry. Oh, NordVPN? Yeah, NordVPN.

Dude, we're going to end up having to use that. You guys realize this, right? I'm going to be watching UFC. I got Mavs. I'm going to be using... I'm going to be using it to watch some footy. We have the Kentucky Derby too, don't we? Yeah, but I think that's going to be on NBC.

They have... There's an Italian steakhouse in there that has a room with a big TV, and I watched the final game of the finals there last year. Let's ride. Let's do the Derby somewhere. Let's squad up. We have to do the Derby somewhere, and I think we need to put some money down.

I will. A big boy stack? I will put one unit down. A Nino Grande? Nino Grande? Just get my beak wet. That's all I got. This thing always makes me laugh.

I think our actual content from Cabo is going to outshine the segment this weekend in Cabo presented by Vizzy. Yeah, I try to not hype it so much because I don't want to set the bar so high that I get down there. And it's going to be it's it's it's mexico but i just like to you know i'm getting in there so are we worried about brett's fits uh he's on brick watch he's on

sunburn i don't want to say but he put somebody who's already there on brick watch that's fucked up i think it's fair too that's fucked up it's fair that man's already brick and fits we haven't got there okay brett's gonna get the sunburn award for me he's gonna be the most sunburned person on the trip at some point he's gonna show up after golf and we're all just gonna bust out laughing when he walks into the pool i'm going bucket hat uh if you think i'm not bringing my bucket hat you crazy i'm going i'm going bucket the whole weekend i got a i got a straw beach hat that's super mega dope. Sally's trying to get me to bring my straw beach hat,

but traveling with a straw beach hat is just so annoying. Where are you from? By the way, where did Lily get hers? Because this is the dopest I've ever seen. The one with all the string and stuff? Yeah. You can't wear that. I know, but it's so sick.

Don't even think about getting a hat like that. Why? Because I'll roast you off the face of the earth. It's sick. That is not for Dorn. That is for Lily. Dude, that's swag, though. I don't even know what you're talking about.

It's a straw beach hat with a bunch of yarn designs and rainbow colors. The idea of Dylan wearing this hat anywhere would be preposterous. I would get a more masculine one. I just want to know where she's at. You'd get one that has a dong off the side? Yeah, David. I would get a hat with a dong off the side. Are you going to bring your hat that has the hands on the front that clap when you pull the string

those are sick that'd be sweet with the i'm wearing no dude shut up be serious i'm wearing the beanie with the propeller on it that's that's tight that's tight all right let's get the hell out of here i'm ready to go to mexico bye adios Bye. Adios.