Circling Back - Cartel Monkeys & Tall Barron Trump

Episode Date: June 20, 2022

Well well well, what do we have here? A cartel monkey with a tiny bulletproof vest? Biden taking an L on a casual bike ride? Barron Trump living above the rim? RECAPPING THIS WEEKEND IN FUN? A loaded Monday episode. Oh, and we announce our next meet-up, enjoy. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low as $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (10:53) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (27:21) RIP El Changuito (40:51) Biden Fell Off His Bike (45:00) Tall Barron Trump (55:55) Worst Company Retreat Ever Support This Episode’s Sponsors PolicyGenius: www.policygenius.com Shopify: www.shopify.com/circling Mugsy: www.mugsy.com (STEAM for 10% off) Super Speciosa: www.getsuperleaf.com/steam (STEAM for 20% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast presented by busy heart seltzer the only heart seltzer out there is super fruit acerola giving you all the vitamin c you need my name is will defreeze to my left david carter ruff in light of recent developments with my um i guess back situation i am reinstating my policy of maintaining posture perfect posture throughout the entire episode and i want you guys to hold me to it okay so with your back it just hurts that's really inappropriate like that's not even that's not a joke we've been just concerned about your back it's a question absolutely a joke we would do yeah that's kind of like our whole thing actually i think how's your neck watching television is what gets me my couch is too deep okay what's the damage on that deep ass couch dude that's that's flat i can only afford a shallow one man probably got it from target oh okay there's nothing wrong with

that that table on the on the back porch is a target special one of our favorites why does outdoor furniture cost a million dollars that bar cart you like so much of ours is target target's got some dope shit they do no our couch is not from target i don't know where we got that but there's no blood on it so it's kind of annoying oh that's weird i don't know why none of the movers decided to bleed on it hey what was with the blood situation on friday one of the guys doing the glass like he was like you got any paper towels like yeah and he goes was he hunky he he was telling his buddy no he wouldn't know these are glass guys yeah they were right it was just glass guys i know but they were a nice guy i like him both but he was just like telling his buddies like he said i'm leaking and i was

like what is she leaking i'm like you are and i was just up here and he was he had like a cut on his hand i was like are you gonna leave that on on the glass like the hunk did for our couch? Why does everyone that comes into our place of business to do work, why do they bleed everywhere? Why do they leave blood behind? We're pretty much two for two at this point. We haven't really done that much. Still feel kind of bad. We sold the blood couch to that nice lady that came in here.

The blood couch? We got it off her. The white glove guy, though. He didn't bleed to our knowledge. Why didn't we make the interns just eat it instead of giving it away? That's a great question. Dylan Chivry, ladies and gentlemen.

Don't just stare at it. I introduced you at the 2.30 mark. Other people know that as dentist time. That's acceptable. That's an acceptable intro time. Thank you. I am very happy to be here. Had a nice long weekend of swimming. Worn out, man. Swimming will take it out of you.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But I'm happy to be here, man. It's going to be a sneaky, fun week, I think. Sneaky. There's some good stuff in the hopper this week. Hey, can we do a major announcement right now, actually? I want to get this out there. Yeah, it needs to happen. We're three minutes in, but we got a tight timeline to work with guys we got a major announcement you guys ever heard of

this place called houston texas tuco it's pretty close to us yeah i have you can keep doing do your tuco actually he's the one who brought it back up i was announced us going to houston for a meetup oh tight tight tight job yeah that's pretty much it. So if you guys want to join us as well as Tuco from Breaking Bad or Better Call Saul, we will be in Houston on July 9th. It's a Saturday. If you can come in just for the day, by all means, make it happen. We'll have more details on this when we have them. But plan on July 9th, Houston, Texas.

Whole crew meeting up. Going to be a fun time. Going to be a sweaty time. But guess what? I don't care. You got to just embrace the sweat. Just know you're going to sweat, lean into it, and have fun with the boys. That's what we're asking.

Yeah. I'm going tech polos only. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wear your best sweat fit. Wear whatever you feel comfortable jersey swapping because I'm going to jersey swap with someone at this meetup. I will jersey swap as well. I wear a fresh i might wear like a fresh new row back so whoever i jersey so i have like more of a negotiating chip i can't wait to jersey swap at the very end of the meetup

so we're just swapping just nasty sweaty polos yeah let me tell you i want to smell like a random dude named blake who flew in from north carolina or something definitely bringing a backup shirt oh i did i did that i don't want to ruin my weekend and fun but i brought a change of shirts for the golf course yesterday i don't hate that tiger tiger off yeah and i'm not gonna lie after i changed my shirt it changed everything i was i was lights out from that point on wow what did you you know we're not here to talk about that i shot it in the next second i shot a 91 uh hey good job buddy hey thank you you know after after the the front 948 it felt it felt pretty good to get it back. It's a good comeback.

Yeah. We don't really have too many details for you right now, other than we do have the date of July 9th. But other than that, we will be leaking. I don't want to put my people in Dallas on blast, but I think this one's going to be bigger. I think the Houston one's going to be bigger than Dallas. Which one's higher up on our listener?

I think they're neck and neck. Okay. Just neck game stupid. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, our last Dallas meetup was bonkers. Are we going to mix in an LT info? Maybe.

Yeah. Yeah. Could we do an early one before the bar? Maybe. Maybe. We have to have the meetup like later in the day i need the sun to go down while we're meeting up right so i think we do a lunch altiempo then parlay that right into the meetup this can be a long day i want i want whoever i jersey swap with i want it to smell like i just

had sizzling fajitas yeah okay this will be a fun one uh also go check out our youtube channel youtube.com slash wash media we put out a new video last week uh dylan got his little redemption story just go check it out like and comment i'm not gonna lie whether it's our video that we put out the other day or just our general episodes that you're listening to now i've been loving looking at youtube comments lately really what are they what kind of stuff are they talking about they're talking about a show on our feet they're good no no we actually have good comments now yeah well like you can tell that we're doing okay because we're getting better comments on youtubes yeah that's going to change after today hey yeah someone's going to go on there like, hey, this stinks. Major question alert right now.

Yeah. She's A10 is trending right now? Yeah. Did we start this movement? No. Are you sure? It's definitely not in a ridge. It's not in a ridge, but I will say that we've been playing the game for much longer than it's been popular on the internet.

I can tell that you're not on TikTok right now, Dylan. You're not doing much TikTok scrolling, are you? are you no yeah because this has taken over tiktok my entire feed is popping a couple weeks okay cut a clip i've started ways yeah let's ride this way we started this you can't convince me otherwise but the way that they're doing it on tiktok is better than the way that we do it instead of saying that there are 10 but and then saying yes or no they are saying what the flaw brings that person down to. I just clicked on the trending topic on Twitter, and it's all she's a 10 but jokes. Read us a couple.

She's a 10 but she cried when One Direction broke up. That makes her a 9.5. She's a 10 but she listens to Oliver Tree. I don't know who that is. I don't know who that is either. He's really good. She's a 10 but she wishes her boyfriend a happy Father's Day for being a dog dad. That one's kind of funny. That's all of us in 2022. She's an 8 now. good she's a 10 but she wishes her boyfriend a happy Father's Day for being a dog dead that

one's kind of funny that's that's that's all of us that's an 822. she's an 8 though my we love our fur babies she's a 10 but she doesn't know that her or a loved one may uh this is word incorrectly but it ends uh financially compensated if they have mess with dilloma so that one, they tried to land a plane, but they couldn't. It would have been funny. Anyway, we started this. Yeah, we're the pioneers of the internet.

You're essentially Al Gore. I'm going. Is that your Al Gore? Yeah. Do your tipper though. I don't remember tipper. I just know Shipnuck is obsessed with the Gore daughters. Yeah, what?

I forgot that that was him. He's the only person talking about the Gore Daughters in the year 2000. That guy's a weirdo. His book's really good. He gives me weird vibes. Maybe it's because he looks like Chris D'Elia, and Chris D'Elia gives me weird vibes. Okay, I guess he kind of looks like Chris D'Elia.

Yeah. No, I actually won the election election but the hanging chance sorry i don't really know how he talks uh this one's pretty relatable she's a ten of it has absolutely no interest in me i'm a true loser i'm a piece of shit she's a ten which she uses goggles in the pool that's funny dude that made that actually i think that adds points that's kind of hot that's smart i want to find a girl that's cool enough to wear goggles in the pool she doesn't care okay i'm done reading those all right if you guys want to head over to patreon.com circling back podcast we're doing dad pod tomorrow get your questions in you

can submit those by going to watchmedia.com submit put a link on twitter and a link on our instagram story as well go check that out but without further ado it's time to recap this weekend in fun presented by mugsy muggsies are the most comfortable men's jeans on the planet built proprietary stretch denim these jeans look stylish but feel like you're wearing sweatpants i love these things i have a love affair with mugsy jeans at this point can't say enough good things about mugsy these days they're the most damn comfortable jeans on on planet. They look good and they feel good and they're reasonably priced. What more do you want in a pair of jeans, honestly?

Yeah. Also, they're damn fine people as they contributed to Parks' little fundraiser thing. Oh, that is facts. Can you explain to the people what they did? If you're supporting Mugsy, you're supporting some really good people. Yeah, so my son Parks, he did a lemonade stand when he tried to raise money to donate

to um an organization called every town for uh they advocate for gun safety the end of gun violence and uh so parks was raising money to donate and mungsy contributed one thousand dollars that's that's a stack yeah some call it a rack even. It is a rack. Yeah. One rack for the little man. Dude, and guess what? Not only are they doing that, they also just released 10 fresh new designs

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Get that thing out of there. Yeah, you're out of here, buddy. Yeah, bye bye then they have a super stretch fabric that makes for quicker drying services so free your balls from uncomfortable swimsuits this year with mugsy you can get 10% off your entire order using promo code steam do your legs a favor and head on over to mugsy.com pick up a pair of the most comfortable clothes ever worn that's mugsy.com for 10% off your entire order using promo code steam again you get the most comfortable men's clothing on the planet earth at mugsy.com and use promo code steam for 10 off your order dylan what'd you do this weekend uh thank you for asking well friday

i i had a quiet night but um my wife went out with some friends ended ended up at D. Betty, so I had to go pick her up, drive her home. She was on one. I got a picture of her putting a picture back. Anyway, she got into one Friday. So you're just the DD on Friday night. Yeah, basically, yeah. I mean, I had fun too, but yeah. Saturday, watched some golf watching baseball uh then we

had a little dinner situation with um a couple that there's good friends with uh brittany well they were in mexico i've been to mexico before yeah so we had a little a little dinner date with them um that was fun got a drink afterward nice nice night and then sunday father's day man just i'm mobbed with parks we swam for like three hours straight yesterday just what does he like to play in the pool he likes to play tag okay that's so much better than marco polo dude he's he's he's become a good little swimmer and he just he likes to play tag he wants to swim around and chase me and i'll chase him back and the the outdoor pool situation at, which is where we went swimming,

is really fantastic. They brought me, they brought us a really great cheeseburger, actually. I was surprised. It was very good. At Lifetime? At your gym? It was very good.

Did you see they swapped the men's and women's restrooms temporarily? No. What? They sent out an email this morning. I guess they're doing maintenance. I don't know, but be careful. Are there women using the urinal? I'm sorry. That's inappropriate. what they do is not my business yeah I don't know I don't really I don't want to touch that I guess you weren't in there I just wanted to point out I

just didn't want you to walk into the wrong one anyway outside at the at the pool they have these these really tall like is it two-story slides you know like soda straw type slides it's a cool spot in parks he finally got the courage to to uh try it and now i he went probably 25 times on these slides it was awesome he had a big day swimming then we had a nice little father's day dinner with the fam what'd you eat you microwave your classic salmon we went to carve oh carve it was really great. Nice family time. And yeah, that was it, man. Great weekend. Dave? One time, I hope he's not listening.

One time, my cousins were in town from D.C. And we went to what was then Wet and Wild, but it's now Hurricane Harbor. Crossed some Six Flags in Arlington. and uh one of the one of like the the the safe like very low-key tunnel um slides that drops off about 10 feet in the air my cousin got got to the end and stopped himself and was scared to go off the end so like they had to clear the pool and it was a whole big scene oh my god and i was like i was such a dick i was probably seven i was so embarrassed i was like oh god but yeah he just sat there and they're like come on come on and he finally you know water's like splashing all around him because he's like like clogging the the end of the slide up dude

oh man that's so funny and it was like a weak water slide it wasn't like he was on the der stuka oh there's your own there's stuka wasn't on shotgun falls or the bubba tub just name dropping slides this is schlitterbond territory down here so i can't relate to hurricane harbor dylan used to call his dorm room shotgun falls i did yeah we were just pounding beers man it was tight dude it's frat it was it was very frat. Schlitterbahn is so sick. I would love to go. Never been. It's so sick.

Do I need to stop being so like under new management? Wary of water parks? Yeah, what's your deal? I don't know, germs. No, I get it. Dude, it's the... It's the piss. For me, it's the piss.

One kid gets in there and a little bit of poopy diaper gets out in there. Next thing you know, you could have an outbreak. A lot of those rides are actually they use the spring water from the river there. That doesn't make me feel better, actually. I want the chemicals that kill the other chemicals. Okay, well, there's plenty of that, too. You're not

supposed to swim if you have diarrhea or something. You're telling me that every single person, not one of those people has diarrhea at Schlitterbahn? Not one? Somebody slid in the first and fell something fell some burst okay they were sliding into what at your old apartment when when like 40 adults get in the pool and drink for four hours straight and never get out you think you're not swimming in like 100 see we had that we had the beauty in my old apartment i only went to the i mainly went to the pool during lockdown when you had to make reservations so there were about eight people there at all times i went to your pool one time and it was it was that situation yeah it was lit

that one time no but here's why it's a little different because apartment pool you're not really getting in past your shoulders you know i'm not dipping my head in whereas like water park once some of those slides like you're you're getting submerged yeah so i'm just saying there's a lot that that doo-doo feces water can spread around i don't think it's that gross man it's like you're you're getting submerged yeah so i'm just saying there's a lot that that doo-doo feces water can spread around i don't think it's that gross man it's not i would still go i'm gonna i've got a young kid yeah parks is about that age man i'm talking dipping dots turkey legs and lemon uh lemon chill lemon chills absolutely oh strawberry chill those things hurt my tum tum but they're so good they're so good so good and someone's someone's tube will uh rub against a turkey your turkey leg i thought you

forgot about that yeah that happened oh i can still hear it i can hear the sound of the nylon tube rubbing against my turkey leg and me just looking at my just turkey holding it and just like what am i supposed to do now it's just got schlitterbond nothing you can do all over the damn thing my dad probably like god you can't waste that eat it i fucking ate it you would have eaten it too i would have eaten it too is that when your germ thing started probably probably i got my favorite dave ruff food food block story is uh just the the thumbprint in the refried beans. Okay. I thought you were going to tell my buddy Norris' cane story.

I don't think I know the cane story. Now people are going to be clamoring for the cane story. I don't like talking about it. It's not even that big of a deal. But if you know the things that disgust me, hair, hair being it, then you know that's what it has to do with but i had a dummy typo in a tweet just now i'm just oh wow my whole day is wrong i'm sorry dude i'm in tonight dude he's a 10 but he can't fucking tweet right did you delete it no i did the follow

up like with the asterisk thing and it's stupid can i say something about that and i don't i understand why you did it i think that's worse i don't want people think i'm a total dumb dumb you are dumb i should just delete it oh that is a okay i should just delete it no you can't you're already doing decent numbers but it's like if that were to like pop off i look like a total sometimes that gives it a little character though no terrible tweet dude terrible tweet shaking my head don't maybe maybe leave the soccer tweeting to me dylan maybe just don't be quote tweeting espn fc why do you think that's a soccer field because it's tweeted by espn fc oh like this i'm making assumptions here dude what that boy get into this weekend

sorry i'm i gotta craft a response tweet to dylan's tweet oh jesus do your tweeting elsewhere a million seat stadium really no one cares daddy daddy got back into peaky blinders friday night was it a bloody crime scene? Not a lot of art in the first couple episodes. That's all I'll say. Man. To be honest, I didn't know that

that was actually from that show. I put the new... It's kind of not, but it might be. It could be. No, that's from real or fake pre-workouts. Bloody crime scene.

No, you're not saying it right. You gotta say, bloody crime scene. Bloody crime scene. I put on Peaky Blinders thinking I was all caught up and i was not and it ruined the whole situation for me i can't i know what to do weird yeah so you don't like it when things get spoiled for you is what you're saying no that's that's not you don't like spoilers i'm saying like i thought i had one season to watch and really had like three to watch and i totally

threw me off i don't know what to do anymore do i need to get into peaky is peaky is peaky the show that i'm botching right now have you watched zero episodes correct yeah i think so it's good it's a fun show i mean it's i don't think it's great but i think it's better than good it's between great and good does that help probably not no as i search for the reply gif dude i'm sorry i just this is brutal i just wanted to okay this is how the sausage is truly made i got into i got into peaky back into peaky loving it three episodes deep so far made me want to go get that stupid tommy shelby haircut but i can't because i'm balding significantly. Is that funny, Adam? It is funny.

No, I'm just kidding. Saturday, woke up. What did we do, man? Oh, we went, met you and Sally and Fritz with Rhodes, and we had some fajitas, some drinks. It was good. The kids were well-behaved. Yeah. I feel like i'm finally at a point with fritz at restaurants where i can just put him in the the the whatever seat and just he pretty much just rides it out they were fine and people people saw the photo and

were like oh dude is fritz on one i'm like dude he was fine the entire thing he just got he didn't want to do the photo he hates photos he didn't want to do the photo. He hates photos. He didn't want to do the photo. I respect how much he hates photos. You bust a camera out and he sees those three lenses staring at him. He's like, nah, I'm done. Damn. He's different. That's okay. But that was a good time.

And Saturday night. Oh, stopped by your mother-in-law's 60th birthday party. Got to see, it felt like, just felt like a wedding reception. Just a lot of moms out there dancing and grinding. Shout out to Jules. Yeah, to be honest, I knew it was, I kind of forgot that she was having a birthday party. And when Sally reminded me, I didn't really know what to expect.

And you're kind of right. It was a lot of moms just dancing. It was great. In leopard print. I'd like to apologize to any mom that tried to drag me on the floor during... They played about three songs that could be considered mom rock songs. You know, like the songs that the DJ puts on just to get the moms on the dance floor at weddings and stuff. Like Celebration by Kool and the Gang.

I heard that song three times, I think yeah it was it was a little bit and there was there was a 10 minute period there where the moms were just dancing how many more times you wear that leopard print shirt moving forward so i'm not gonna lie yeah i'm just gonna cuck your weekend in front a little bit dave since dude i don't want to talk about the same thing yeah sally's mom was obsessed with leopard print and so we all wore leopard leopard print shirts for the party. I do kind of want to keep my leopard print shirt to wear to like a pool party someday. But at the same time, it's an absurd shirt. I put it in the washing machine last night. And I decided that if it can make it through a wash and a dry, then it deserves to stay in the closet.

If it can't even handle that, then it's going to have to get donated. It's a fairly low bar for a shirt. Yeah. Yeah, most shirts I wear do make it past one wash. If you would have felt this shirt, you would have said, yeah, I can see why you might have concerns about it making through a wash.

Was it fuzzy? It was just shitty. Oh, okay. Just a not great shirt. It was fast fashion at its finest. Was it like my knockoff Dan Flash's shirt? Probably. Maybe worse.

I think I'd rather wear your knockoff Dan Flash's shirt. Did I take that home with me? If you knockoff dan flash's shirt uh probably maybe worse i think i'd rather wear your knockoff dan flash's shirt did i take that home with me if you don't if you lost your dan flash's shirt we're gonna have to fucking riot it's gotta be in one of the boxes over there in the corner other than other other than her party all i did this weekend was watch love island and eat tacos well sunday father's day as many of you are aware and uh we went and had brunch went to the grove it was fantastic the grove downtown good spot easy to get a table did they do a barbecue chicken pizza for you no um is that a thing they do yeah but they don't do it during brunch and sally always has to beg them you know i don't do chicken on pizza it's a weird thing i've got i don't know

why i'm not against it i don't judge people who pizza it's a weird thing i've got i don't know why i'm not against it i don't judge people who do it i'm pro barbecue chicken pizza i'm anti-chicken on most pizzas i'm pro yeah chicken on barbecue dude look i'll take the l on it it's a weird thing but did that had a couple glasses of rose forgot how much i like rose rose during the day might be my favorite thing so much is fantastic so much so much better than drinking like a beer because the beer just gonna make me tired and bloated rosé i felt great rosé guy oh then i watched the u.s open it was fantastic and just just a nice little sunday another runner up for your man good willie z he's willie he's one of our tweezy he's one of our hearts he has i thought his dad was on the bag this entire time.

Looks like his dad. Just a man. Just a dude. Okay. Not like, just a normal caddy. I thought, I was watching the tournament yesterday, and I was like, why are they not pumping up the father-son storyline of him, like, with his dad on the bag on Father's Day at the U.S. Open? I looked it up, and I was like, oh, it's not not even his dad it's just a dude that looks exactly like did you see this

xander shoffley's dad is micah yeah what's up with that dude i i nobody responded to the last one so i was like oh am i going too hard no that was hilarious i was dying shout out to uh joe it was joe i think he was one of your old interns yeah who dm me uh it was like dude this is micah and good dude joe zander's dad even like he also does look like micah but he just seems like a real interesting guy the maybe the most interesting man on the planet like what's i don't know this dude's just rocking like linen on linen and fedoras fedoras he's kind of encroaching on your fedora territory i don't have i've never had one you've had one single fedora it was a panama hat they sold them everywhere in italy everyone had one on okay well it would have been it would be called an italian hat if we're going by that basis makes a lot of sense if i was rock walking around positona without that hat like people

been like who's the idiot without the panama hat on like i had to get not everybody wears a hat everyone no one's wearing like there's like 100 percent of men that had a panama hat on it was dope why are panama so why is it so popular in italy they love van halen i don't know might as well call it an italy hat right yeah yeah anyway that's fact they're everywhere. Look it up. Sally made me a really big meal for Father's Day dinner last night. We had this Andy's mac and cheese. You guys seen this stuff? Just instant mac.

I went too hard at math yesterday. I ate five straight meals of tacos this weekend. For real? Yeah. How's that tum-tum sitting? Fine. Just a little wider wider so are you saying that you shouldn't get in the pool for like 24 i'm not saying that at all i'm not saying that at all just maybe you don't want to get in the pool right after me

that's yeah because you pee in it like the little kids i pee in brett's jeans muggsy.com that's true let's hear from our friends over at super speciosa we've talked about this stuff before we're talking about it again kratom is the all-natural herb related to the coffee plant that has been used in thailand for centuries kratom helps energize your mind and relax your body and really it just helps you feel good without being impaired super speciosa only has one ingredient and that's pure kratom leaf. There's several scenarios where you could actually use this. Maybe you need the extra courage to ask for that, you know, ask that special someone on a date. I was going to make a joke to one of you guys, but you guys are both married. So it's kind of hard to do that.

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promo code steam for 20 off of your order for that link hit the description of this episode i gotta toss it to dave though you got some sad news coming out of uh somewhere yeah uh our president fell off his bike dude we're not we're not there yet we're not there yet no um headline drug gang's pet monkey found dead after bloody cartel shootout per new york post uh the pet monkey of a drug gang member dressed up in a bulletproof vest and camouflage jacket has been killed it's not funny in a bloody shootout which also left sadly 11 other cartel members dead it's the cutest bulletproof vest i've ever seen it's i'm wondering if it was just for show i'm wondering

if that's actually like kevlar or whatever but it is mega cute and uh his name was El Changuito. El Changuito. And yeah, he went out with the rest of his crew. Well, they had to get the monkey. They decided to release a photo of him sprawled out, dead. It was kind of unnecessary, but he is wearing a little camo hoodie, which is mega cute. But rest in peace, Changuito. Why did they why did they go in for the the kill on el changuito i'm sure it was just a garage of gunfire and just he might have just i'm hoping they weren't aiming for el changuito i hope it was accidental yeah if they

were gunning people down they saw the monkey like oh we better get him too and they like that's sorry so we're sorry to shoot people too well what would it change yeah would it change your take if what if el changuito was strapped up himself and honestly that's a that's a possibility what if he was clapping back with his little tiny spider monkey gun i mean if they were smart enough to make him a small little bulletproof vest for this little spider monkey like you're gonna tell me they're not gonna get him strapped what kind of gun would a tiny monkey carry it's gotta got to be a small caliber weapon, right? Yeah. Perhaps a.22 pistol or something.

I don't know if El Chiquito can do a little. Yeah, a.22. A.22 has no recoil. That's what I'm saying. Could you imagine a little spider monkey with a shotgun, like a 12-gauge, and it just blows him back? That thing can't shoot a 12-gauge, Dave. No. Say hello to my little friend and then boom just goes flying

this thing had to have been strapped which is really funny to imagine a little monkey with a tiny cute little bulletproof vest on and just with a tule in his hand who was the image so was this cartel maybe it's a uzi a nine millimeter uzi was? Yes. So, like, which cartel member... They already clearly had the monkey just kind of hanging out with them and, like, vibing. A man in his 20s. Which cartel member, like, rolled up and was like, hey, I think we need to get him a vest like

the ones we have. And then they were like, alright, do we have anybody... Like, does anybody's wife, like, know how to sew or anything? What if we took this vest and, like, took a little fabric off of it and then we made this other vest out of it or like they bought like a gi joe or like you know some kind of like this can is there like a military barbie i don't know if they have a cartel kendall cartel can yeah cartel ken would go pretty hard yeah he has a hoodie i don't know

if you mentioned this the camo hoodie yeah he has a hoodie i don't know if you mentioned this the camo hoodie yeah he has a hoodie on yeah you can barely see him dude his candle burned out long before his legend ever will the image that's going around okay the tweet we have it up on on the screen if you're not watching at home it's uh very um comparable to the harambe um ascending to the clouds with angel wings and it says el chiquito 2021 to 2022 and it's got like the sad face emojis all around it and it said on the on the tweet that like went off that we got this from it says like they really made this who's they did they really make this no one made this this is someone doing a bit no yeah they didn't make this like there's no way that they made this and put this out from an official cartel.

There's no way. But if they did, that's amazing. The cartel stuff is very interesting to me, mainly because it's something that's just close to us. The Netflix-produced series on it are very engaging and well done. And some of the news stories that come out about some of these bosses or what would you call them? Top dog. Bosses?

Whatever. Yeah. Kingpin. It just makes for such an entrancing story. But I feel guilty fanboying cartel activity as you should. You don't want to romanticize it. But that's what we're doing. Well, we're just talking about the punk.

We're paying tribute to El Chancuito. I'm mainly talking, but we romanticize it by being... I was obsessed with Narcos Mexico. El Chapo, you take away all the destroying of lives, the killing and all that stuff he's a pretty he's a content machine he's pretty intriguing yes you know he's elusive

he's quite elusive little guy he also has drip that's again like the killing stuff like offsets all the cool stuff uh dude like think about escobar like i mean legit legitimate terrorist yeah and at one point like the richest man in colombia maybe even he he might have been the richest man in the world like i was gonna say either he was or like his he had a what they were bringing in was more than any company in the world at that time dubbed the king of cocaine escobar is the wealthiest criminal in history. Oh, yeah. Is that what they call him and not Dillon?

What? The king of cocaine? No, he's the prince. He amassed an estimated net worth of $30 billion by the time of his death, equivalent to $64 billion as of 2021, while his drug cartel monopolized the cocaine trade in the united states in the early 1980s and 1990s do you think they were calling him nose beers back then i don't know that needs to come back is that their resort in tulum what

they turned one of his old houses into well the house that he was he had a house that he was murdered at on the roof and that wasn't in in Tulum. I think that was in Colombia. He probably had properties all over the place, you know. Is it one of those things, though, that like he just went there like one time and then they're like, he used to vacation here all the time. Let me look at it. Let me look. Yeah, my dad actually bought one of Escobar's places. He didn't turn one of his places into a zoo because of all the exotic animals?

Yeah, it was the place. So the place was essentially a zoo where he actually got murdered. I was watching something and I got way too into reading about Pablo Escobar. Yeah, Pablo Escobar's Mexican Hideaway is now a luxury resort. It's in Tulum. Let's go. People are just obsessed. Let's go meet up there. People are obsessed with reading about people who make their money in ill illicit ways and same with mafia same with all that stuff i know

you know there's just something there's something something that just grabs me from the mexican cartel side of things it's just because mexico is such a beautiful place yeah rest in peace al changuito when he was killed in 1993 the property set abandoned and largely forgotten about until 2012 when it was uh purchased and now it's probably just instagram influencers just taking ass shots by the pool casa malca is what it's called open in 2015 let's go i'm kind of sick let's go finish some let's go delete some beers there i mean this is in tulum it looks it looks pretty dope yeah it's in tulum could do a little uh do a little see a shaman you want to do it you want to do an ayahuasca ceremony i'm not trying

to microdose we could mike we could do a we could just do a an escobar tribute and just do we could mic we could do a we could just do a an escobar tribute and just do we could microdose cocaine we could macrodose cocaine stop just kidding dude see you're such a bad influence you can't make jokes like that if you don't want to be the cocaine guy it's probably more pure down there cocaine guy has anyone ever microdosed cocaine they're just like yeah i'm gonna microdose and suddenly they're just like i need it cocaine cocaine yeah cocaine tight tight tight anyway r.i.p el changuito are they is there any is there any place we can make donations in his name or anything like that don't know if that's gonna be necessary it'll go to the cartel well yeah i don't think it's worth it man so we should just support him by buying illegal drugs are they

doing a service form or anything do you remember that anti-drug ad from like a decade ago it was like if you buy drugs you're supporting like the cartel you're supporting like narco-terrorism and you're just kind of yeah we're gonna go down that road okay but yeah i mean i think we're funding terrorism with every transaction we make you know i think these banks should be considered terrorists at this point. Dang, man. I just filled up my tank. Yeah. Not good.

Seriously, though. Triple dig? Come on. Really? Yeah. It makes you feel like I'm on a big tank. Jeep's got a big tank. Triple's his best, though.

I'm filling up three quarters of a tank just because it makes me feel better. Dude, I'm a full boy you should do that fill it up halfway and then that way every time you need to go back you see what i'm saying yep shack it's the shack method wait what yeah gas is cheaper if you don't fill up every time it feels that way but it's not no dude shack nailed this all you have to do is just fill up halfway and buy less every time yeah yeah yeah it's weird like also food costs less when you buy half of the food that you would get too yeah yeah it's amazing how that works it's like saying if you want to save money on rent just pay it like every two weeks instead of once a month exactly there

you go didn't really work out at the end. What, Dave? Nothing. I was just thinking about buying gas. Sucks. It's not great. I might just take that e-bike. If you guys want me to go to the gas station with you guys next time,

I think I know of a couple ways that I could save you guys a few bucks. Huh. Sure. Please tell. My jaw's getting tired, though, though in this economy a lot of tubes that i'm sucking this gas oh you're siphoning yeah i thought you're doing setting up an ad read no okay no it's kind of an ad read i do charge for my services of siphoning

so you just go around siphoning people pay you a siphon you don't do it like you're trying to accommodate me i thought you did it out of like the goodness of your own heart what just sucking yeah it all depends who i'm sucking for for the love of the suck yeah i'm the robin hood of gasoline you suck from the rich and give to the poor yep yep you find nice cars and steal gas from them and donate them to lesser nice cars yeah that's pretty nice of you yeah i hail from thoddington forest thoddingham forest i'm sorry it's like noddingham forest but for thoughts that's how i got so good at sucking i thought you were just the thoughts taught me i thought

you're just sucking gas i'll suck anything if it's worth sucking okay gotta be worth sucking though no i hear you man mostly gas though yeah yeah so i'll go to lunch with you today dave and i'll go suck the gas that's all right i brought actually brought leftovers my wife cooked last night shout out to her uh a defined dish recipe wow that's uh like black pepper chicken that's your favorite dude i love it highly recommend congratulations yes i'll show it to you please oh your food yes yeah can we hear from is this a new sponsor alert or am i have i just not been on an episode yet talking about our friends over at shopify baby not new as far as i know whatever like we can pretend they're goaded new sponsor this is a classic case of

us having a sponsor that we already used before the sponsorship you can't make this stuff up shopify's been uh helping us put money in our pockets for literal years pretty much as long as we've been in the content game shopify gives entrepreneurs the resources once reserved for big business so upstarts startups and established businesses alike can sell everywhere. Synchronize online shops and in-person sales and effortlessly stay informed. Scaling your business is a journey of endless possibility. When we started this company, we needed to get some merch off the ground and Shopify was right there for us.

They make it very easy to set up your store. They make it easy to get all your documents in order for what you need for everything. I've been digging my hands into Shopify lately um we're trying to relaunch our merch store yes i don't know if that's breaking news or not but we are we're getting merch off the ground again and look if i can get in there and mess around with it you can too because you know technology and old guys like me we saw your tweet thank you yes yep yep if the hunting pet king himself can do it you can do it exactly yeah yeah uh the shopify powers millions of businesses from first sale to full scale they reach customers online and across social networks in an ever-growing suite

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We got news in former and recent presidents. Where do we want to start right now? Can we start with Biden? Because I've been laughing at it. Sorry if you think it's not funny, but to me, I found it to be incredibly humorous. People falling off anything is funny. So, yeah, let's just start with that. I saw people being like, oh, he's over, you know, he's, I don't know how old he is, 70 something.

79, Dylan. You shouldn't laugh at this. Like, this is pretty funny. He's okay, right? I would hope so. You do worry. I know he's a brittle old bag of bones. Yeah.

As he is 79. Right. For a lot of brittle old bags of bones, a fall on the hip can really, you know. That's the first thing I thought. It can end things. Luckily, I don't think, I think per, you know, the lack of news, I think he's still alive. Right. If that took him out, then we got, yeah, he was too fragile.

Are we no longer a power in the world if our president dies from falling off a bike on vacation? The bike wasn't even in motion. He just tipped over. Dude, he had the toe clips in, though. I heard he was bunny hopping before people started videotaping it. Can I just say? He was clipped in. This is on Secret Service.

You should not let your 79-year-old president ride a bike. I don't care. I don't care where he's going. I don't care how much padding he's got on. A stationary bike for a late 70s president. I'm sorry. It is risky. I don't mean to be.

I know it's a little ageist. That's a thing, Dylan. And I just want to say. I'm an old guy. I'm looking out for the good of him, the good of future old presidents because I don't think we're going to elect anybody under the age of 70 ever, maybe. So, yeah, let's just let's keep them off the bike. Let's keep them keep them off the blades. That would be the thing.

If we can get bides on some blades, I'll be sick, though. What's more will be more humiliating falling on blades or a bike? Bike blazer. There's something funny about blades but you blade up you expect to fall kind of it's like what yeah but would he have wrist guards on and stuff you have you would have everything you can't have your president blading around with like wrist guards knee pads elbow pads and helmet but what if he's rocking like what if he's rocking like pit vipers with them and he like looks tight the most swagless activity is is fully geared up for blading yeah if you're gonna play that's that's the trouble yeah because you should you should gear up but like blading does not look cool when

you're protected like that no it was so funny i when the video dropped i was just like oh man it's funny twitter's twitter's going to be awful today he just falls out of frame of the video which makes it like you don't see the impact on the ground so it just makes it funnier to me he just falls out of frame i mean he is 79 if you're 79 you're like if that's that's a certified grandpa age you if you hear your grandpa's on a bike you're you're a little like shaky like is this the move he's a certified grandpa age. If you hear your grandpa's on a bike, you're a little shaky. Like, is this the move? He's a one-term guy, right? I think so. Is he even going to run again?

I don't know. I don't think he'd want to. There's no way. He's too old. There's no way. There's no way. He's too old. Being president is what keeps me young.

It's what keeps me alive. It's my secret. Yep. I have to be in the oxygen in the overall office. It keeps me young. I go on one bike ride every morning. Yep. I like, I have to be in the oxygen in the oval office keeps me young. I go on one bike ride every morning. Yep. If the bike ride doesn't kill me to fall at the end of it, mate. But yeah, we hope he's okay.

Yeah, me too. Well, I mean, yeah, like you said, we would know by now if he was not. Yeah. Unless they're hiding it. Do you think they're hiding it? Do you think, do you think big government is hiding the fact that our president is dead from falling off his bike? Do you think maybe he cracked his coccyx? Do you think this was payback? It's a possibility.

Do you think this was the ghost of El Chinguito throwing him off the bike for calling the hit on the Mexican cartel? I don't think that was Biden's call. I don't know if that's how that worked. I think it was probably another cartel i don't think that was bide's call i don't know if that's how that worked i think it was probably another cart what if you re-watched the video and you saw this little flash this little blur in the sky and it was el chinguito's angel little angel coming down from heaven and just beating the shit out of bide is his angel vested up too and sick yeah is this baron trump photo real Why is he the tallest person on Earth? He needs to start working on his handles, man.

Dude, he's like Boban height. He's not seven foot, is he? Apparently he's six, seven. And he's only 15 years old. That's Luca. Yeah. What? How old is he?

I think he's 15. Dude, he's a problem. He needs to work on his footwork a little bit. Dude, I don't know if he does. Remember that soccer video of him that came out like a year ago? He's 15. Dude, he's a problem. He needs to work on his footwork a little bit. Dude, I don't know if he does. Remember that soccer video of him that came out like a year ago? He's 16. He's got handles. As of March 20th, he's 16. Dude, the ball's tied to his foot when he's on the soccer field.

He's like Lionel Messi out there. Barron Trump. Really? Do you remember that video? I haven't seen that one. I think it was mainly a stroke of luck, the there was a ball that came to him and the ball control that he had in this video was insane but i think it was just an outlier on a string dylan on a string dude but that must have been a foot ago because he you can't you can't have the ball attached to your foot like that when

you're six seven right it's too hard being six seven is like an adult is still very tall but it's still kind of cool because you're just like the tall dude but being that seven as like an adult is still very tall but it's still kind of cool because you're just like the tall dude but being that at 16 like you're walking around the high school just towering over these people people are calling you names how pumped is trump that he created a six foot seven person though we had this conversation in my house yesterday that like what if there's no one in my family that's above like 5 11 is there a quote roads is like really tall is there a quote from trump about how tall baron is i bet it's electric whatever it is probably he probably thinks like oh yeah his jeans yes superior his jeans are the best that's how it would go they're magnificent jeans he would

never fall off a bike he would crumple the bike dude if you're that tall you also should not ride a bike i'll say that yeah he doesn't ride bikes he rides motorcycles because he's a man i mean is he gonna get recruited he's getting recruited by all the top schools the best the best of the best it doesn't help that the woman he's in this photo with is like five one correct yeah like that does amplify this but like dude his he could palm her head like Look how long that tie is. Could he dunk this woman's skull into a basketball hoop right now?

I mean, yeah, he could probably dunk her skull. I wouldn't be surprised if he can't dunk right now. He looks to not carry that frame very well. He's like,

no, he's like a little kid still. He's just lumbering up and down the court. He's just elbows everywhere, you know, flailing all about, just walking down the hallway. Was there anything worse than just getting bodied up down the court. He's just elbows everywhere, flailing all about, just walking down the hallway.

Was there anything worse than just getting bodied up in the paint and you just catch just an elbow to the arm? It's just a bruise for like two weeks. Elbows are the worst in pickup basketball, man. See, I wait in the wings, man. People just kick me the rock. I just dump a down load of Baron, man. Let him go to work.

Seriously? Let him eat? Yeah. Dude, he's a problem on the pick and roll he crashes the basket he needs to go to short hair again though why dude this mop does not look good on him why he's chet he's going three to houston i don't think he i don't think he has the same skills the same skill set that Chet has. Chet said in a pre-draft interview, I guess he's, what did he say? He's like, who's the best player in the NBA? He says, me in three months. Yeah.

I just don't think that's going to be. Okay, Chet. First, come on. He's a string bean. He needs to add like 80 pounds. Me in three months. Me in three. I love the answer.

That dude's so. that's like that's like mcconough said hey said that his role model was him 10 years ago okay all right and then 10 years before that yeah it just went on 10 years after that doesn't make his role model is his future self hey man that's our governor. He's not. Does he ball, though? Like, Barron, does he ball? I don't know. Give him the rock.

We know he plays soccer. Give him the rock. He's huge on the pick and pop. He's not. Why are we acting like he needs to play basketball if he's this tall? Why can't he be like a nose tackle or something? Nose tackles are 170 pounds. Or famously not tall guys.

Dude, I knew that, though. It not tall guys dude i knew that though i knew that for sure he's honestly like too tall the best thing he could do is if he was really a tight edge he needs to be really into beach volleyball he could be hardcore of like indoor volleyball player like this guy he's the next jimmy graham you know delph is a delph's a volleyball guy yeah dude can you imagine if baron trump was just the next like he was an olympian in beach volleyball you see that'd be kind of sweet if he ended up being like Delph is a volleyball guy. Yeah. Dude, can you imagine if Barron Trump was just the next, like, he was an Olympian in beach volleyball? That'd be sick. That'd be kind of sweet.

If he ended up being, like, a legit athlete, that'd be really funny for everybody. Especially in, like, beach volleyball. We can't handle it. We couldn't handle it. No, I want something more mainstream. I want him on TV, you know? I want him to be, like,

tuning in to watch Barron play Purdue tonight, you know? He's in the Final Four at, at like why is he playing our accountant the different purdue the university okay randy knows he does get it yeah he's tall it's oh we didn't even talk about like this tweet didn't do enough numbers unless it's but the guy who said that baron trump looks like two kids in a suit two kids stacked on top of each other in a suit i mean he's only 16 he might be 6 9 6 10 at the end of the day dude yeah like he he might he might get close to seven that'd be so sick is trump pumping him full of stuff yeah yes this kid is on something he's on growth hormone he's probably like kept him out of sports because he reminded him that like exercising it just uses up your

battery your internal battery because you know i like imagining him bullying don jr yeah like baron trump for not being overweight he's it's a sloppy six seven he's in awkward he's 16 he's in a bulking phase anyone anyone who's 16's 16 and 6'7 is awkward. You're right. Yeah, there's never been a 6'7 teenager with swag. You don't think he looks like Barrett when he takes his shirt off? No. God, Barrett.

Why didn't Barrett stop? Just chill out. Hey, you know what's funny is I don't think Barrett eats like – he's not like an obsessive clean eater type. I think he'll eat what he wants and yet he is like 7% body fat. He's a crazy metabo. Crazy. I want to look like Barrett.

That's just natural. Remember I told you a long time ago he said he only works out enough to maintain his physique. He doesn't want to get – like he doesn't want to change anything about it. It's probably benefiting him. He doesn't have like unrealistic expectations. We go in there and we're like, all right, I'll do this. What a place to be though in life. Three weeks. I'm going to add an inch to my thighs. And next thing in there, we're like, all right, I'll do this. What a place to be, though, in life. Three weeks, I'm going to add an inch to my thighs.

And next thing you know, you're like back hurts. He looks in the mirror, he's like, I'm perfect. I want to stay exactly like the way I am right now. And he works out only to maintain. Amazing. His photo dump last night got me through the weekend. I was like, damn, daddy. You photo dumped something else, didn't you?

Chill out. You need to relax this is too close after el chinguito's deaths and make jokes yeah why is everything a joke for you yeah i'm sorry you play it's a dark day i just want i want baron to go d1 and something i i do i want i do too it'll end up being like crew or something he'll go he can't be a crew guy he's gonna be a crew guy he doesn't have the upper body strength for that. Not yet. He tipped the boat over.

Get him on the row machine. He'd be just rowing alone and the boat would be tilted up in the air and other people would just be rowing air. I want him to be like a Sean Bradley. Like big, but people just abuse him in the paint. Didn't even like basketball. Just was like, I have no, this is what I have to do. Really?

How tall was Sean Bradley? Seven and six. Yeah, if you're that tall, do you just make up, do you just like, even if you don't like sports at all, you just say, well. He was on a lot of posters back in the day. Yeah, TMAC famously. Guys would like go out of their way to like,

they saw him, they're not they're not taking that shot they're taking to the rack yeah it's not what you want no it's gotta be a stressful life like every game like god damn it who is it you're like looking at the roster like yeah you made a nice living though yeah t-max definitely gonna throw one down on me you're just head on a swivel at all times he's just so tall you're like oh it's a poster alert raptors block something dog vc's about to like end me yeah oh yeah vc's coming for that ass someone photoshop dylan posterizing baron barrett or baron baron okay yeah it's confusing that we're talking about two different people have bear uh as their uh very different for six on the other two young men yeah can you imagine

if baron we don't was as tall as he is and built like like barrett he'd have an offer from every every program in the country and still that haircut though no he's gotta get he does got he got to trim that up yeah it's too floofy you don't like it when the six seven guy has a shag no i like a shag this is not a good one though this is too like it's too voluminous voluminous he said must be nice yeah seriously oh can we hear from our friends over at policy genius before we uh ride into the sunset on this episode sure you know a lot of people question why get life insurance. If someone relies on you financially,

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That looked really fun, honestly, that day. I was just kind of bummed. But whatever. Sorry, dude. Well, there's a Swiss company that did a company retreat recently. And it turns out 25 of the employees of the ad agency were injured tuesday evening while walking over hot coals in zurich 10 ambulances two emergency medical teams and police offer officers from multiple agencies were deployed to help uh and 13 people

were briefly hospitalized because they all decided to walk across coals as a company they they've seen the office one too many times right they did this on the office right yes yes briefly hospitalized because they all decided to walk across Kohl's as a company. They've seen The Office one too many times, right? They did this on The Office, right? Yes. Pam successfully did it when no one was watching. You guys ever seen that show? Yeah.

Dude, how horned up is Randy right now? For Kohl's? He's just like... Someone take Kohl's? Kohl's cash? Kohl's? Huh? Kohl's? Oh, Kohl's. Kohl's cash? Kohl's? Huh? Kohl's? Oh, Kohl's.

Yeah, you get it. Kohl's. Because he likes the store, but we're talking about the hot Kohl's that people walk across. He can't get over these hot deals at Kohl's. Right. Yeah. How did it take this many people to figure out that this was a bad idea? I think these people were just soft because I feel like at any Tony Robbins seminar, people do this and they're fine.

But maybe they had too many coals. It was too far of a distance. You can touch them for like a split second, right? And you're fine? Kind of like you're putting your hand through a flame. You just can't leave it there. You feel me? Is there a company that does corporate retreats and they're like, no, do you guys want the hot coals?

That's an extra $1,000 on the retreat. How about we just do like a cold punch? Yeah. Like, but after one person went across, how did 20 more, 25 more employees go across? Peer pressure, man. Or pressure from your, from your employer. Like, hey, you got to do this, dog.

They sent the, the, my legs don't get cold guy across first. And he was like, no, dude, it doesn't hurt. It's totally fun. As, as his feet are just blistering just bubbling with third degree burns yeah does it say what what was different about this or is it just no like i think it's just like a team building i i don't think there's anything actually special about this just team building situation growing up i often didn't wear shoes around the neighborhood in an effort to build up the calluses and get strong feet however i don't think i would even test those out on hot coals i don't i'm at the age now where like the the the mental hurdle of of achieving that and walking

across hot coals is not worth it to risk like two weeks with bandaged up feet where i'm like immobile like that's the worst if i planners wharton was down for like a month if i ever find myself in a scenario where i see my fellow employees walking across hot coals i'm probably going to quit that company before i actually walk across the hot coals myself that's not that's not a company i want to be working for okay but what if what if you're with you know all of your co-workers and everyone does it and they come on the other side that are just fine can't be that guy that i'm just questioning i'm questioning the leadership i'm like what leadership book did this dumbass manager read that is now leading us to possibly burning the bottoms of our feet like why why do we need to do this as a as a team

there's got to be a new just like a new version of this because like i feel like the hot coast thing's been around forever just do some trust falls and call it a day don't tabletop though tabletops and trust falls well this wasn't a retreat but before i started at grand x i had pledged for two weeks under dylan it's true yeah i mean and it wasn't that bad you made it through dude it was the best two weeks that i never want to do again yeah i got i made some lifelong friends during that it's the most annoying phrase of all time your son will never do it i was like no this has been miserable afterward will walked up to me and just put his arm around

me he goes we're brothers now we're brothers for life hey we're brothers for life yep yep oh my god no we're not i was like dude does this mean i have to pick you up at the yoga yoga studio when you show up to the wrong address for your first day what i wanted to say when that dude said that that was part of the pledging dylan gave me the wrong address and told me to show up yeah after college i'm never going to talk to you again and i haven't i don't't think Dylan even knew we were hiring you. No. The only people who knew was the higher-ups. And you just showed up one day and people were like. Sometimes the higher-ups didn't even know about some things. Some of them didn't.

Oh, my first day. So my first day I show up to Grand X and I don't show up to Grand X. I Google the address for Grand X and I show up to the yoga studio that now resides where Grand X was. Yoga. I text Dave and I'm like, yeah, I think I'm at the wrong place. And he's like, dude, I know where you are. I'm right down the street. Let me come get you.

We go in. We go straight to the conference room. I sit down with Dave. Dave gives me a laptop. It's my first Apple laptop. So I think I'm just big balling right now. You were. I'm in a conference room.

I've never worked somewhere with a conference room before like we're this is tight you really did apparently and then uh i the first person that i meet after that is dylan who walks into the conference room dylan was very nice very like nice guy whatever um but you i could tell that like you were you were in work mode i was probably about like firing up something that was super hot about to go viral. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, no, Dylan's in management mode right now. Like this guy might not even talk to me for the next like three weeks.

Who knows? And then Chad came down. Yeah. Remember when hashtag and the cowboy guys came down? Yeah. There was a brief period there where I was just gun shy. But then I got to meet DVD who wore a cowboy hat to work that day. And and i was like who's this random video dude who wears cowboy hats to work every day his mom is my dentist she was mine then dylan made me pledge i ate his gaming chair

i missed that chair and dylan always made sure i had a dime bag in my pocket in case needed a quick fix what year did you start at Grand X? I don't know, 2015, I think. Dime bag's just not enough. You were before Micah, right? Yeah, I was just before Micah. Okay. I was just before Micah.

It's always nice when you're the new guy, and then a new hire starts, so you're not the new guy anymore. Yes, correct. Didn't Rachel start right after you two? She started before me. Oh, she did? Yeah. I started right around the same time as a lot of people after you two? She started before me. Oh, she did? Yeah.

I started right around the same time as a lot of people. It made it much easier on me. Yeah, that's nice. Not to be like a jerk or anything, but if you guys would have said like, yeah, we actually have a company retreat this weekend and we're walking across hot coals, I was probably going to make up some excuse to not do that at Grand X. Oh, like you did for the turkey trot where you stubbed your toe or whatever? I definitely made that up.

Definitely made that up. I also made up a trip to Houston so I didn't have to be in the Beer Olympics video. That's fine. Dude, look, look, man. You don't have to... You didn't have to make up anything. I just said, yeah, I'm not doing it.

I even just... I wasn't supposed to go to Houston that weekend. I just drove to Houston because I had to actually put out the vibe, but I was skipping. We actually planned the meetup this weekend so i don't have to be in town god it was a great career move not being in that video it was was very happy for all of us so yeah i guess we're should we do hot coals at uh at our next meetup oh yeah let's for sure do it

i want to know if the company like set the hot coals out themselves or if like the place that they i know stout did it for them i tried to i tried to see and it doesn't say but it says they're the promises made by corporate retreat organizers are frequently unjustified they they're telling you that it's all in your mind and this will give you powers that will continue it's not in your mind anybody can do it and i don't think the confidence you get from this is necessarily going to last that long mr whatever said that the coals at one or at 1000 degrees are safe to walk on for 20 feet or more and that he walked on coals at that temperature for 495 feet without getting a blister that's kind of an unnecessary flex after 25 people went to the hospital

dude i did it for almost 500 feet that's something that i would say how pissed was he when he got to 495 feet and to get the extra five feet to go 500 you gotta breathe man wait that's how long it was i kind of wasn't listening it was 500 no he said he these people were doing 20 feet he said that he's done 495 feet okay just being a total hardo for no reason what's this guy's problem this says that a brisk walk with your bare feet comes into contact with the coals for just a second. It is not enough time for the heat to be transmitted painfully from the coals to human flesh. Both the coals and skin have vastly lower thermal conductivity

than, for instance, metal. I'm still not doing it. No. I'm out. I'm just at a point where i'm confident with like a mental toughness i don't really need to do it i consider myself mentally tougher if i just tell people i don't want to do that you're more yeah you're more mentally tough if you tell your company like hey i don't want to walk on these hot coals when everybody else did it yeah a bunch of these bitches are gonna have to call out in a couple days because they're all hospitalized and can't walk. What was this company?

An ad agency? Yeah, an ad agency in Switzerland. Hey, we sell ads. Yeah. Yeah. We're not going to war. Yeah. The graphic designer over there is crying in the corner because he just burned his feet. Yeah, I work at a computer

all day. I just don't need this. I make pitch decks. Get me out of here you gotta do that looks like the liver king at the end of it like no walk across the coals come on kyle come on fuck you dude give me a break dog yeah dude i'm just good i'm good at fucking indesign i don't want to walk across coals i just need a lappy and a cup of coffee. I'm good. I don't need this. Yeah. Chill out. All right. I just got an email that said the hotline's down.

Nice. I just updated the credit card information. How many hotlines do we have? Two. Dude, make it bling. It's the circling back one that we actually use. I just changed it. What the hell?

We'll figure it out. All right, guys. Like we said, meet up. Houston 9th, Houston, Texas. Let's make it happen. Spread the word. Be there. Tell a thousand of your closest friends.

Be ready to jersey swap. Yep. Yeah, bring something you're going to be willing to jersey swap with us. Let's just call it the jersey swap dude let's do it i'm in what do what do females do they wear they can jersey yeah they can but sure yeah as long as they're not getting you know no one no one's getting naked at this well we don't know that well i'm not i'm not condoning anyone getting naked so if anyone at the bar comes after us i'm going to tell them i want to get naked it's that's that's your deal yeah okay all right guys it's been real bye