Circling Back - Caught In A Parmesan-Style Thotpocalypse

Episode Date: August 9, 2023

The most unlucky woman of all-time was attacked simultaneously by a snake and a bird, the Thotpocalypse is upon us, a tribute to an Italian man who passed doing what he loved, people changing their name to "Subway" for free Subway for life, This Weekend in Fun, and so much more. Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (20:00) Snake/Hawk Attack (31:30) Thotpocalypse (42:00) RIP Giacamo (53:00) Subway Name Changes (1:01:43) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (CIRCLING at checkout for a free tumbler) Miller High Life: www.millerhighlife.com/washed AG1: www.drinkag1.com/circling (FREE 1 year supply of immune-supporting Vitamin D and 5 FREE travel packs with your first purchase) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from aust, Texas. My name is Will DeFries. To my left, David, Mr. Honey-Baked Hams-In-His-Pants Roth. Um, sorry? Are you talking about my buttocks? Why don't you stand up? I was just relaying a nickname that someone might have relayed to me. Hams plural. Why don't you stand up and show people how you got that nickname? I've got multiple hams in my pants.

Two of them. Those hams. Speaking of hams, Randy, I got some news for you, buddy. Did you see who's set to play Julia Carpenter in Madam Web? No, and I don't know who those people are. Your fave, Sidney Sweeney. Randy's like, dude. Sweeney?

Randy's like, Dave, you're on some nerd shit right now. Randy's not a, like, Randy doesn Dave you're on some nerd shit right now Like Randy doesn't know spider-man isn't Randy not a big swing Randy's a noted not a Sydney Sweeney guy, which I appreciate about it. I kind of I wanted to give him the platform Go ahead man criticize. She's an attractive. She's an attractive lady You just I don't think she's the number one like some people. Okay, I don't explain yourself Randy You don't explain yourself. Hey Dave is. You don't have to explain yourself. Hey, Dave, so does this mean, based on the photos that I'm seeing that you have on here,

this means that Sydney Sweeney will be a redhead for a certain period of time? Oh, shit. That's trouble. Trouble in a DeVries home. You know what I'm saying? That's what I'm saying. Damn, dude.

Okay. Okay. How does this change things? It doesn't. I'm probably going Damn, dude. Okay. Okay. How does this change things? It doesn't. I'm probably going to stay with my wife. Okay. Are you sure? Yeah, no.

I do love my wife, so I'm going to stay with her instead of, I don't know. She'll be happy to hear this. Going after a fictional character. Oh. Who's writing this movie? I don't know. I think it's the Coen brothers? I don't know. I think it's the Coen brothers. I don't know.

Are they allowed to cast people and stuff during this whole thing? Oh, the writer's block. Yeah. Or what is it? Protest. Oh, yes. Does the show go on outside of writers and actors? Writer's block.

There's not a casting couch, if that's what you're getting at. That's not what I'm getting at. Grow up, dude. Dude, you have started this episode quite age. You know what? That's safe, Sweeney. Oh, I have an announcement. Thank you for bringing that's not what i'm getting grow up dude you have started this episode quite age now you know what's safe we need to have an announcement yeah thank you for bringing that up yep i'm actually leaving my wife for ariana grande you guys seen this bringing america's did she yeah marriage did she break up uh her own and then also the her her co-star in...

Steve Martin. Whatever. No. Martin Short. You're thinking of Selena Gomez. Oh, yeah. Different brunette starlet. Oh, yeah.

Sorry. They do look kind of similar. No, they don't. They don't. They don't at all. They don't. They don't at all. They don't.

One's Graham Prairie's own. They're the same, like, coloring. For me, they have the same energy as celebrities, just because they just have songs that I don't listen to. But I'm a Selena Gomez guy because she obviously is on Only Mirrors in the Building. Yeah. Which Randy has described as, quote unquote,

boring. Her Wicked co-star. Wicked co-star. Ethan Slater. Who, I have to say, I've seen handsomer fellers. I've seen handsomer fellers followed by a sip of Celsius. I'm just saying. And I'm not saying he's – I'm more handsome than this young man.

That's what you're saying. That's what you're telling everyone. No, I'm certainly not. He appears to have a better head of hair. That might be where it ends, though. Anyway, you know what? It says here that they met on stage practicing, and she met him in the middle. Of course, a reference to her seminal hit from a few years back.

How much time are you spending on Dumois, Darian? I like to... I don't listen to the podcast. Yeah, maybe you should do less. We've got a handsomer fella in the building with us today. Dylan Chivry, ladies and gentlemen. That song, Handsomer, by Russ is pretty decent. By who?

I don't know if you heard it. Diana Ross? By Ross Bowen? Russ, the rapper? Westbrook? Anyway don't know if you heard it. Diana Ross? By Ross Boland? Russ, the rapper. Westbrook? Anyway. I thought it was just Ross. I did a – you can't introduce me and then just start talking.

I haven't. You've been talking too. You've been talking about some Russ dude. Anyway, I took a – I went to these facilities earlier. The toilet? Yeah. Okay. According to the laminated UT hydration hydration chart i'm a bad teammate right

now and i want to apologize for that but you know your boy stepped out last night got some beers bring it in not bringing it in this is not bringing it in this is what you're critical of randy for doing and we're not going to reward your behavior come on this is this somehow has gone from jay bone to randy to dylan, you know I drank about just three draft beers last night. When's the last time the establishment cleaned the tubes? Because that does affect how you feel the next day. This particular establishment, I would be surprised if they ever cleaned the tubes, actually. My tubes.

But the beer was cold and crispy, and I need to hydrate. That's all I'm saying, man. Have you had some water since then yeah okay you know i drink lots of water david apparently not enough more than you so my uncle between beers between beers while he orders another beer at the bar my uncle chugs a glass of water and says rinse cycle i kind of dig that i really i'm really into it rinse cycle yep and i like the idea of like attaching a bit to hydrating while drinking because then you're more likely to do it. Yeah.

That's good. So if you're out there this weekend, don't just stand up and stretch your legs and get the blood flow going. Mess that rinse cycle button. Hit that rinse cycle when you're at the bar. Actually, I'll do a water as well. What are we thinking about the trend of the last, I would say, five to six years of bars in lieu of ordering a water at the bar? They just put like a cooler.

Who's Lou? I like that. Do you? Yeah, I do like that. Depends on the cup size, man. Depends on the cup size. A lot of single-use plastics, bro. You're really big on cup sizes.

Sometimes they just give you these little tiny cups and i'm like i don't need that what am i supposed to do with that but i do like it's a lot easier to put your mouth under it and just go straight into the the source i like a little cup i like to pound it refill it pound it refill it take it back to the table that's my move you know i drink lots of water though don't you just said you're a bad teammate you have the worst hydration possible today no no that's bad guy bad teammate there are like four different tears hey i got a scenario for you hot shot it's you and two girls and it's hot outside and you're at the bar and they have one of those coolers but there's just one cup remaining and you're all walking toward it.

What do you do? Okay, you're making a disgusting two girls, one cup reference here and I won't stand for that. We have new listeners tuning in for the first time like, oh, this guy's disgusting. I'm never listening again. And that's because of you.

Well, good. We didn't need you. Bye. What's up with that shirt? Why are you wearing that today? Because Barrett was in yesterday and it's a Howard Brothers shirt that he gave me so i was like you know what i'll support my friend barrett that shirt's sick i know it's another part of why

i'm wearing it oh hoping that one day barrett's like dude now that we've been doing retail therapy for like a year and a half like if you ever want like a significant discount code howler like that like here you go that'd be cool for you yeah that would be like so sick for me barrett came in yesterday looking fucking cool he's a hot little fucker man i'm so tired of that little fuck just coming here looking cool thinks he's all cool and shit because he dresses cool and is cool his icy hair like what are you doing this fucking guy i'm over it sound like y'all had a good retail therapy i was hearing the banter a little bit from out there we We don't often do listener questions, but the squad had to go off yesterday. Did Randy ring the bell?

He rang the bell twice. He rang the bell twice. I have a fashion question. Okay. What's up with our ankle socks in? I don't know. No. Not largely.

Randy thinks they are. I don't think at large they are, but I think within my small circle, Largely. I don't think at large they are, but I think within my small circle, aka me and Randy, that we've been hitting those socks that go right above that bone in your ankle. Man, I just can't.

I don't think I can do that. Boy, I hate how Randy showed off his ankle just now. I don't know if you saw. He's got those no-shows today. It was just uncomfortable. There's no showing on these socks. God, it's so flirty. Don't stick your leg out like that.

I'm a no-show guy. I got my cruise on today. Here's the issue. Here's just uncomfortable. There's no showing on these socks. God, it's so flirty. Don't stick your leg out like that. I'm a no-show guy. I got my cruise on today. Here's the issue. Here's the issue. This is why I'm kind of dipping my toe, literally and figuratively, into the ankle socks. Okay? Not the no-shows, but the ones that hit right above the ankle. Not the cruise socks.

I see them at the gym, man. The ones that hit right on top of the ankle. I don't like having to scrunch. I appreciate the frat scrunch but like i just i'm not a scrunch boy well i love a good scrunch my legs are a little too stout to scrunch i don't think the scrunch looks good on my stout legs and so uh when i go down to no show though i find a lot of dirt getting into my shoes or i find myself just having it ride down i don't like that and so i think i'm to take it back to middle school.

And I think I'm going to start rocking out those little ankle socks. You're getting the Yankees? Dave's got some Yankees too. Dave's got a hot tip. If you're looking for some good no-shows, I highly recommend the J.Crew no-shows. I just told you I'm not doing no-shows. This is mainly for the folks at home, of which there are many.

You can get other socks there too also the gap the uh the ankle socks i've been rocking lately from the gap that's sick that's so awesome fall into the gap that's sick dude dude that's so well you know you brought it up victor you had a fashion question this podcast what you seen due to the gym doing it yeah big time man do you think they've always been doing it and you're just noticing it now but they're all younger than me oh so it's like i don't know you take some pics of them next time no i don't work out with my phone just to watch i know we know we know you look over it's a he's got it all close to his face it's so loud like the the ambient noise of the gym is too much so i can't do the the voice to text it doesn't work very well it's a whole mess man we'll get through it though you should try doing body weight workouts with fitbot dummy is that one it's not even a

spot it's not no dude i'm just a dog yeah i guess i guess i could switch to body weight exercises so i can text for my watch better that That's a good idea, Will. Yeah. I'd always put the iPhone away when I was on my Peloton grind. I'm thinking about getting back in. You should. I've got some organizing to do this weekend. Not to ruin this weekend in fun, but I think I might be doing some cleaning this weekend.

And yeah, I think I might get back in the Peli game. That's really exciting. If anyone has any good EDM hits from the last couple of years, please hit your boy up. Our guy on Hijack, the son. He was getting some work in on me. Was he? anyone has any good edm hits uh from the last couple years please hit your boy up um our guy on hijack the sun he was getting some work in on was he oh yeah he was wasn't it yeah dude shot the hijack the best show going right now on television i could not imagine having not seen

an episode of it like it's at this point it's the most i'm not just saying this is a bit it's truly the most bingeable show i've seen in a while. Sally and I are very much like eyes shut, lights off at 10 p.m. people. We stayed up until midnight last night just absolutely binging. It's exciting for you all, man. What's the last show you binged? Dude, you're allowed to watch it, Dylan. I'm kind of doing Suits right now. I told you all that.

Are you binging? It's pronounced sweets. Yeah, I've watched three in a row at one point. What does that are you binging it's pronounced sweets uh i'm i've yeah i've watched three in a row at one point what does that tell you hashtag binge mode my suit it's been a message i've had that on actually so it's a show about uh like a tailor yeah just measuring people really yeah it gets pretty redundant like so do you learn about the different fabrics no cuts no styles that'd be the worst origin story for for like a superhero or like a villain actually like he's like a tailor by day but at

night he's the tailor dude it's like kingsman that's like kingsman dude they're essentially just bespoke gentlemen who just fucking kill people it's awesome bespoke or rowdy a little bit of both okay that's a combo you ain't met my kingsman yet we're a little bit what was how's the line we have a lot of fun we have a lot of rowdiness yeah that's the one we did said that bud lights ultimate tailgater oh mike what's his name michael michael idiot what's he up to these days you know probably trying to escape that video i wonder how Mike? What's his name? Michael. Michael. Idiot. What's he up to these days? Probably trying to escape that video.

I wonder how, yeah, probably. I wonder how if his time at A&M lined up with Johnny F'n Football's or if that was a little bit before. Do you think they ever rizzed each other up? No. No, I don't. I don't know. They both had a lot of roundiness to them. They did have a lot of fun as

well yeah i feel like there hasn't been like a lot of rising up in the the mainstream media lately okay okay what are you setting up an ad read here what's what do we have uh no i haven't even done will's five-star review of the week and you think i'm gonna fucking start an ad read are you kidding me i don't know his baby gromp and laying low hopefully he's yeah hopefully why you don't want a child to succeed in his dream in life his dad gave everybody the creeps i heard an interview with me wasn't that bad i've heard an interview with him and it's really bad with who was it edited dave because his dad was probably just feeding lines the entire time. Kind of like what Dylan does at Dirty Bills. It's time for Will's five-star review. Got your bitch ass.

Of the week. You guys ready for this? We've got several reviews this week. I had more to choose from than I have had in a long time, my friends. And I have to say, they weren't all five stars. But guess what? Because this is Will's five-star review of the week, we are not reading anything but five star reviews are you ready for this ready

still ready it didn't crop so i have to make sure i'm reading the right one this one about people are just on the edge of their seats yeah people are really asking for this seats yeah people are really asking for this flauta boy summer this is from monster mash five seven eight six three one two six eight nine six four again this is flauta boy summer from uh monster mash five seven eight six three one two two six nine six four it's a graveyard smash ordered chicken flautas for the first time this past weekend and they slapped harder oh that was no we can't read that one uh i got yeah i got a newsflash uh we we read that one last week oops sorry um that's all right man what was it then my my stepdad yes that was mean that that that it's still that's not good it has some flautas you can see the difference in the in you too

dave read it will's like oh that's too crazy man i'm gonna read this one i'm gonna read this one i think so i think ai left this it says the I'm going to read this one. I'm going to read this one. I think AI left this. It says, the tech is there. This one is just way too forgiving to me. It says, I'm thrilled to announce the tech is there to leave a review for my favorite podcast. It's about my close personal friends, Will, everyone's favorite,

which I think he's doing a bit there, Dylan and Dave. I can't read the username as it is in a language that I cannot decipher. Mandarin? I don't know. I couldn't tell you if it was Mandarin or not. Okay.

Mandarin? Shut up, dude. Language, homie. That's my favorite kind of orange. They're good, man. That Mandarin. Ravel. How's he doing? Probably not great. It's. Ravel. How's he doing?

Probably not great. It's Darren Ravel. Dude, he's a great follower. Is he reported on the Penn barstool thing? Yes, believe it or not. Should we bring Brett in to talk us through that deal? No. I'd rather just bring him in to talk about his deal.

Talk about what his deal is. Dude, what's his deal? Is he the new deal-haver in all of WASH Media? Brett? Yeah. I think so. I'd rather just bring him in to talk about his deal. Talk about what his deal is. Dude, what's his deal? Is he the new deal-haver in all of WASH media? Brett? Yeah. I think so, man. Probably. You're taking that title from your boy here.

Deal-havers only. Check out our new hat on WASH.shop. I was walking down the street the other day, and I looked over, and I was like, what the fuck is that? Okay. It was a pair of bird dog shorts. So what do you guys have for Christmas dinner?

Oh, my God. What do we have for Christmas dinner? I reach into my pants and just grab the hams. Like, what do you have normally for Christmas dinner? We've been doing prime rib, actually, believe it or not. Really? Yeah. Okay.

That doesn't help me in this situation. Ooh, actually, turkey. That also doesn't help me. I thought you were doing a bird dog thing. No, so I was walking down the street the other day, and I saw these two honey-baked hams just walking down the street with like a really, it was almost like a centaur. Was it Dave?

But instead of being like a horse on the bottom, it was honey-baked hams. And I was like, damn, that's a great ass. And I couldn't tell if it was a great ass because it was the honey baked ham looking ass or if it was because it was a pair of bird dogs absolutely gracing those things delightful booty all this went through your head when you saw some bird dog shorts and the honey baked hams that were filling them out right but then i realized it wasn't even honey baked hams it was just dave's absolutely cheeked up tush what was i doing it was dave leaving the gym i was wondering the same thing what you were doing in my part of town i saw you get on a boat with a bunch of sorority

girls no it was me and me and uh ariana or lincoln must have been leg day at the gym they were chanting mr bird dog as they crowd surfed you onto the boat why do you invite me on that boat you bitch what's your what's your deal i heard you were captaining it oh yeah you were like captain stabbing coming through he got on the boat and you were covering your eyes hoping he wouldn't recognize you. Hey, I put a towel around my waist when he brought those hams on board. I was like, he's going to shame me, man. I do love me some bird dogs. Well, that's the thing, dude.

You can wear them on the water. You can wear them to work out. Phone-less even. But I would suggest actually wearing them and putting your phone in your pocket because they have really nice pockets. They do. Yeah, so you could even do that. Very versatile. I'll wear them in the gym.

It goes straight to sauna, straight to pool, and they work at all three levels. It's perfect. They used to call Dylan this in college, but they have the goaded liner. I do love that liner. The goaded liner. I do love that liner. The goaded liner? Oh, because of cocaine. They were calling you Matt Liner for a time. I don't know.

Do they have any USC bird dog colors? I don't know if the bird dog's people like this one. They probably do. It's going to go one way or the other. It's going to go one way or the other. The thing about them, Will, they do the exact same thing as lulu but with a way better fit are they the ones that kidnapped their designer allegedly yeah he was on a he was on a kingdom airlines plane and they hijacked it okay so he's just a reference to the yeah to the show gotta stop oh go get your bird dogs these things are

swag they got that cloud knit fabric they have the goaded liner they've gotten a new fabric that looks just like khaki and honestly i'm big on khaki right now i've been wearing khakis at the office y'all been seeing me i'm not afraid i'm the m&m of wearing khakis i have seen that i'm not afraid thank you if you guys want a deal, I got one for you. Go to birddogs.com slash circling. Enter promo code circling for a free Yeti-style tumbler with your order. That's birddogs.com slash circling for promo code circling for a free Yeti-style tumbler.

You won't take your birddogs off, we promise you. So that ad read made me think of something from the Johnny Manziel doc. I forgot all about him going to uh a club in disguise yeah what disguise did he go with a mustache and like oh yeah i forgot about that it was really shitty who did johnny manziel oh that's you remember the doc you watched last night as well yeah yeah that was fun a fun watch it brought me back to like to like the tfm days and he looked like bobby valentine covering all those pictures of him in the scooby costume and all that wasn't he the one that that dressed up in a disguise so he could sit on the bench i think he did okay i was that's a good poll okay i i was wondering if you thought

he actually looked like Bobby Valentine. No, but he did the mustache, right? Wasn't that Bobby? Yeah. He hit him with the disguise. That's a dope disguise. I had a good emoji used the other day. You guys ready for my new viral segment, Will's Sick Emoji Use?

Yeah, this is going to be good. Someone asked, like, hey, who did this thing? And it was like, who took this from like the counter moved it and i i did the emoji of just the guy with the glasses and the mustache hanging off of it fake no not me that's not bad dude yeah i kind of like yeah i got some thumbs ups what were they looking to investigate i don't remember who moved this from the counter dude i don't know when you're on vacation with your parents like people just be moving stuff yeah yeah that's just how it be sometimes yeah if you talk about this snake hawk attack this was not the story i was expecting this is a wild little situation do you see it well we'll get to the story first but there's a picture of her arm it's like it's all it's blurry because it's too graphic tell me if this is a you know

it's probably going to serve you a unedited photo of it later is this a young lady's name or an older woman's name peggy jones she's good friends with patty mills absolutely i could draw a new tea and crumpets i could draw a i could draw a photo of peggy Jones without even seeing her. God damn, dude. Jesus. She got attacked by those talons. Yeah. To be honest, her skin integrity doesn't look like it was of the best.

Oh, that's not nice. That's so mean. I didn't mean to go at her organs like that. She is relieved to be alive after being attacked by a snake that fell from the sky and by the hawk that swooped down to reclaim its prey. I like how this, the New York Times article starts off by saying, one should never get in the way of a hawk and its prey. She didn't get in the way. Like, they got in the way of her and then attacked her. What did it, this is a flying snake.

What did it fall from? The sky? That doesn't, what does that mean? The hawk dropped it. Oh, the hawk dropped it? Yeah, you dumbass. Oh. I mean, I guess it could have fallen out of a tree or something.

That's what I was thinking. The hawk got the snake, dropped the snake. It's clear blue. Got it. Just like maybe Tony Hawk was doing a sick 900 with a snake in his hands, and then it went flying when he started doing the spins. I was thinking that it hit this lady. He finally landed it.

I thought she was out doing gardening, and it fell from the tree, and the hawk was like, ooh, there's a snake. Let me finally landed it. I thought she was out doing gardening and it fell from the tree and the hawk was like, ooh, there's a snake. Let me go get it. He thought it was a gardener's snake? He thought maybe it fell from that MFN plane?

Yeah. Kingdom Airlines plane? Coming in hot. No. Oh. Different one. That's crazy. Mayday, mayday.

But it landed on her arm and it just immediately started squeezing. Yeah. Dude, that's what I don'tday but it landed on our army just immediately started squeezing yeah that's the that's what i don't like like i this is a new anxiety that's unlocked of just a snake falling from the sky and constricting me i feel like the chances of this ever happening to anyone again are very low i'm gonna go as far to say this has never happened happened in the history of the world like you know how they have darwin awards for dumb shit people do like do they have an award for just the most unfortunate wrong place,

wrong time situation? Because standing in the middle of your garden and then just getting your ass kicked by a snake and a hawk is just simply not ideal. Does it say

what kind of snake it is? I think it's a gardener. It flew off with it, the hawk. I'm gonna squeeze ya. They're saying, this is my favorite part of the Yahoo write-up. I'm gonna squeeze ya. Peggy said she believed that the hawk. I'm going to squeeze you. They're saying, this is my favorite part of the Yahoo write-up.

I'm going to squeeze you. Peggy said she believed that the hawk saved her life. I think that was God's way of letting me live because I couldn't figure out a way. The snake was not letting go of my arm, she said. Then in bold, the next paragraph, likely not a non-venomous rat snake. You're probably fine. It was probably just scared because it was wounded and just wrapped up on you wasn't like a boa constrictor it wasn't gonna like choke you out it wasn't an anaconda probably not

an anaconda those are big david yeah imagine you see this happen from like the yard over how do you like no one's gonna believe it you know it's like what what just happened here i saw a snake fall from the sky and then a bird bird came down and attacked this lady and the snake. She's been having trouble eating and sleeping, she said, and at times will scream and yell out for help in her sleep. Her nightmares vary. Some are a rehash of the encounter, while others are stranger. Quote, sometimes I'm in a room, and there's snakes on the wall and snakes on the ceiling and snakes all over the floor she said what about on a plane she better not fly uh they talked to uh her husband um

he actually his name is mr jones i think he was attacked by some crows at some point he was down at the new amsterdam jones. He said that she's snake wary now. I'm pretty sure she'll be frightened of anything that looks or moves like a snake. As she should be. So she's scared of certain Love Island characters that are moving like snakes. Any relation to Mike Jones, we think? Probably not. Same area.

Not really. She said that she considers herself to be the luckiest person alive. I was attacked by a snake and a hawk and I lived to tell about it. I might argue that she was herself to be the luckiest person alive i was attacked by a snake and a hawk and i lived to tell about it i might argue that she was pretty unlucky yeah yeah like i no offense to her wounds my wounds but like those aren't those weren't gonna really like well they cut a nerve damage at the little talons you know there's a talons they fucking get in there's this there's this video that I got served on Twitter because Elon's has a He knows his fucked up shit. What is up with your timeline?

I don't yeah, do you go in your settings and like turn on like a parental filter? There's this there's this guy just strolling down the street and there's a truck driving. No, he doesn't know he's fine She is like there's a drug driving down the road and a branch like catches the the cab and like drags the truck over and it knocks this guy down and it like nearly killed him and the caption is this guy is so lucky like he's pretty unlucky actually he's got hit by a truck walking down the street a freak accident it's not lucky he didn't die man i i need to know know what has kicked off your timeline. I don't know, man. It is – it's not always pretty. It probably has taken – I saw that Elon had taken like everyone's internet histories and applied it to their algorithms.

And because you spent so much time on LiveLeak at Grand Exit, this is just what happened to you. It might have something to do with it. I watch him every time. I know that something bad is going to happen. That's why you have it on your timeline because you're watching him every time. It's like this guy loves gruesome video. I didn't ask for him to begin with. I don't do autoplay on my timeline.

I don't either. Saves battery life. Autoplay is really annoying when you're on your phone. Yeah, I don't fuck with that. I got some new speakers. You guys have, you know. Do they have Bluetooth technology? No, but you guys know I'm a vinyl guy now, you know what I mean.

And when I turn the new speakers on, it automatically connects to my phone. And so I'll just be going to the bathroom, watching a TikTok, and suddenly just hear it bumping through the speakers in the house. Better be careful what you're watching. I'm not a pervert. I don't watch porn while I'm going number two.

Dave, a lot of people do. A lot of people do. I mean, you finished the first part. And then? Porn while I'm going number two? Dave, disgusting. A lot of people do. A lot of people do. While they're going. What? I mean, you finished the first part. And then? No. What is wrong with you? I'm not saying I do that.

You are a weird kid. There are people. You're a weird cat, dude. There are people who do that. Dude, shout out to Peggy Jones, though, man. I feel bad for Peggy Jones. What a name. She looks exactly like her name. What a name. She looks exactly

like her name. It's funny. Is she a part of the thought-pocalypse that's upon us? I don't think she's included in that. Why?

I think the real takeaway here is the fact that the hawk got the snake back and flew off. Like, it finished the job. That's pretty impressive.

Other hawks would have just been like, you know what? Not worth it. Humans, I think I could take this human, but I'm going to take some damage. No, it got the snake and flew off and ate it. That's phenomenal. Hungry hawk.

How does a hawk kill the snake? Talons. Where do the talons go into? Just the snake itself and let it bleed out? Is that the move? Do they go for the heart? Where's the snake's heart? If you hold a snake like this, is the heart similar in the body to where ours is one of those bites it's

very different bodies crushes his head in with his with his beak or something too there's probably some pecking i'm trying to do any hunting yeah i mean that's probably that's good i'm just thinking of the snake as it gets dropped thinking like oh okay he done dropped me are you guys ready you guys ready to learn where a snake's heart is it's in a pretty similar spot to where our heart is right below the neck well i mean snakes are kind of all neck so they're very different like if you think about it like they're kind of all neck um and so like i don't know but like yeah they don't have necks do they no like but it's like right there dave you see that so like okay like maybe it's a little higher technically but like this is the entirety of the snake it's like right here yeah okay yeah

yeah they're similar to us they're what what about their two holes uh the two holes uh it's not on my diagram right now look it up like just where the anus is no but you have to search for two hole well the intestines right there and then yeah the intestine goes down into the tail i think it's pretty far down there south of the intestine huh huh? Yeah. Where are snakes' buttholes? They'd be slithering. Down around booty hole.

Yeah, the cloaca is obviously like right at the end of that tail. Cloaca? Not the end of the tail. Well, not the end. I don't like that name. I mean, pretty close, Dave. Snakes are so creepy, man.

Like, here's that snake anus. Oh, nice little tool. That's snanus? Yeah, dude. Snakes are kind of like us, if you think about it. Snakes are just like us. I need to hop on Nextdoor. It's been a minute.

I need to see if anyone's identified a snake or needs a snake identification. And then people can be like, don't kill it. Those are actually very helpful. Dave's been moving like snakes lately. I really have. I think I need to delete my Nextdoor app from my phone. It only makes me hate the people around me

and want to be less neighborly. Well, from what I know, the little I know about your neighbors, one in particular, I think your hate's justified. Had an encounter

with one of my neighbors last night. Might be the one that you're talking about if I know what you're talking about. You got in a fight? No, but she was trying to do something on this dial pad.

I think she was looking for like a young whippersnapper to help her. And I just went, oh, sorry. Walked on by with Rosie. Went to the park, enjoyed ourselves, looked at the water for a little bit. I wasn't going to help her. You see what I mean?

Is that how you said it? I went, oh. I did the window. I said, oh, I'm going to scoot right by you. Oh. Randy knows what going to help her. Is that how you said it? I went, oh! I did the window. I said, oh, I'm going to scoot right by you. Randy knows what I'm talking about. You can do it. Oh! Sneak right past you.

Oh! That's the noise Randy makes when he's reaching for a police officer's weapon. Oh! Are they real guns, though though i feel like we talked about this last week are they blank i guess i'll just i'm the only one who remembers that but cool huh can someone explain the thought apocalypse to me i was not here for our original discussion yeah of uh ai ladies let me fill you in as best how's your ai How's your AI girlfriend doing? Have you seen her?

What's her name? Mia? Mila. Mila? Mila? It might be pronounced Mia. We haven't gotten that far. No, Mila.

Like Mila Kunis. But it's two L's. Oh. Is it like the Spanish pronunciation of two L's? She doesn't look Spanish, so we haven't progressed that far in our conversation. But I'll get there. I'll find out. How many non-consecutive E's does her last name have?

Oh, she's from Finland. Mila Sofia. she's from Finland. Milla Sofia. She's only 19. She's Finnish. That's okay, but European 19-year-olds are like 23. That's true. Drinking age, all that fun stuff.

She's also not real. Right. Yeah, so Milla Sofia is one of, I think, many AI-generated influencers. She's, like we we said 19 from from speed and and the thought apocalypse this is from info wars which just feels weird i'm really glad we're using i'm glad we're using our platform to talk about uh info wars articles so basically they talk about how these ai generated models are being monetized by the men who are creating them using ai and they're making money off it and they're they're doing like they have patreons and only fans it's gonna turn into porn eventually i'm sure yeah i feel like we're

already there the tech's probably there for that like if we randy how much you know about ai uh again enough amount like good i don't want to do this by any means because it's creepy but like if one of us decided we wanted to go down this road like how long would it take us to come up with a route of like making an ai model and then setting up a patreon for we talked about this and i we should do honks guys oh hot dudes so randy has access to the the programs that create these like super realistic images i had access to one of them and i it was i had to do it through like a discord server yeah mid journey that's what i got he did just masculine honks at the dick saloon i saw that i'll be honest like i

was i had been out of the office that that week uh for about 24 hours before i saw a bunch of just ai hunks from the dick saloon getting posted on the instagram and i started questioning things so i'm thinking we create um we call it college hunks okay might be a copyright infringement situation there but we'll work around that. And we just do hot dudes with the broccoli hair just ripped up and see what kind of action we can get. Okay. Okay. Ooh.

Might be a feet finder angle here too. I think the technology isn't there yet. Yeah. If it struggles with anything's it's those appendages yeah the appendage yeah we'll get there but yeah i don't know man it's just weird it's weird it's where the people are making money off of this i mean it makes sense that people are making money off of this that's kind of what people do this has to be like a very like we have to be in the early phase of this where it's going to be

like popular for a second and then die down right i feel like that i feel like the people i don't know man but have you seen have you seen the replies to her yeah it's really depressing it's so funny it's it's it's concerning she earlier she tweeted a picture of herself she looks good uh in a little tennis outfit she said who's up for a friendly match of tennis some of the responses are um good morning one of the most beautiful young ladies on twitter i don't like how she worded that what match of tennis yeah that's some narp shit that's dude you're dating a narp that's some bot shit i don't like it someone said if i can't cheat then I don't find anything friendly. But you do have on a very hot little white outfit, babe.

It's so creepy, man. So creepy. Dylan. What? If I ever see you in the comments of Mila, I'm going to be very upset. Being an online social media simp is a really bad look for anybody. But being a simp for an AI-generated

young lady is about as bad as it gets, I think. You could argue it's harmless and just simply the most depressing shit you've ever heard. It's more depressing than it is harmful. Yeah, you're right. She's not going to respond to you.

Take out all of your toxic feelings on the AI-generated young lady. People are probably texting AI girls and having conversations with them and being led on. Absolutely. It's going to be a natural selection. These people are just going to rot away in their beds. They should bring back phone sex lines, but instead of having like a you know a call center with a bunch of ladies it's just bots video i could do that that's gonna happen probably some money in that all these dudes commenting are probably happier than i am you ever think about that

they're just like simping and like i love you so much babe i don't simp like that i feel bad for people like that i do too they don't feel bad that anymore. I feel bad for people like that. I do too. They don't feel bad. Maybe they don't feel bad for themselves. I can't imagine being that desperate for like any kind of connection with somebody. But who am I to judge?

I don't know. When was the last time MTV or VH1E, thinking of all the channels you'd watch late night when you're like in sixth grade or something. When's the last time they aired a phone sex commercial it's like it's been a while those were that's something that's completely foreign to probably 60 of our audience but it's it's still bizarre to think about that you're just like oh fuck i just gotta call this number i'm talking to her first five minutes are free. That's pretty crazy.

I'll just enter my parents' credit card. Sure. Steal our identity. I feel awful for like the parents who like had the best house to go sleep over at. Cause like they just got the brunt of like the bills for that kind of shit. Yeah. My buddy's mom didn't deserve to have to go through that and have those conversations. We would ride our bikes to 7-Eleven and we'd go to the pay phone and we would try to,

we would dial it and hear like the intro message. And then it would ask for the credit card number. We'd hang up. to 7-Eleven, and we'd go to the payphone, and we would dial it and hear the intro message, and then it would ask for the credit card number, and we'd hang up. It's pretty pathetic. We would just hang it on our friend's dad's computer and change the homepage to Dick.com. You guys ever close to ordering a Girls Gone Wild video? Never ordered one, but we'd watch them on the thing, like on the commercials.

Well, yeah. So I wanted to watch the documentary on on the on the commercials well yeah but like so i i wanted to watch the documentary on how the girls gone wild stuff all went but like it creeped me out so much that i was like i don't even know if i want to go down this road i'll just read the read the wikipedia page my buddy's wife was on really really do they have a physical copy um i i don't know if he has it or not dude they, they got to get one. She was at Texas Tech. Is she embarrassed about this these days, or does she find it funny? I think it's funny.

It's hilarious. I've never actually seen it. I think it's just funny. Turns out that guy, not a good dude. Yeah. Not good at all. Oh, yeah. What was his name?

Francis? Something Francis? That sounds right. You can't trust his name, Francis. That's right. I don't have any squad members named Francis. Is your name Francis, Randy? I went to dick.com. My middle dudes named Francis. That's right. I don't have any squad members named Francis. Is your name Francis, Randy? I went to dick.com.

My middle name is Francis. Yeah, but your name's not Francis. The thing about those girls... If you were going by Francis, I'd be like, we can't hire this guy. The thing about those girls is they have gone wild. I went to dick.com a minute ago. Dave, what did dick.com look like? It was giving virus. Yeah, and youcom a minute ago. Dave, what did dick.com look like? It was giving virus.

Yeah, and you have a Microsoft computer, so you got to be careful. Have you updated that Norton lately? It wasn't an upstanding... It went through two different redirects, and then it brought me to a Captcha thing. And I was like, I don't want to see what's on the other side of that.

No, you stopped there. It said, click every box that has a big old dick in it. I had a relative by marriage when I was in like seventh grade tell me a porn site at a wedding. He was hammered. And he was just like, dude, you should check out this site. And I didn't even know what to expect when I went to this website. I think it's seventh grade or something. Way too young.

You shouldn't have that conversation. No, dude, way too young. Way too young. I'm saying bad on him. He's no longer in the family. I think he's overall a net positive dude, but... Seventh grade? How old was he at this time?

So I went to it and I was like, dude, what? This is inappropriate, sir. You're 28 years old and you're telling me to go to this site? That's weird. Yeah. Like, dude, you can't be doing that. You can't have that conversation with a seventh grader. You're going to direct a seventh grader home to his parents' gateway computer and have type in what are you like 13 at seventh grade i don't know i've always done plus five

five years 12. okay so you're curious at that age but you don't need older men telling you which porn size no i'm like yeah you're at the age where you're just looking at like rolling stone covers and you're like whoa yeah but like you're looking at, like, Rolling Stone covers, and you're like, whoa. Yeah. But, like, you're not going to, like, hardcore stuff. That's, like, aggressive. Yeah, that's like going back 50 years and giving some random person a Mountain Dew Code Red. Their shit's going to explode. They're not going to be ready for that yet. Now, you tell me in seventh grade the thoughtpocalypse is upon us, and suddenly, like, my entire aura has changed.

Mm-hmm. You tell seventh grade me that I can have an AI girlfriend, I'm taking that deal 10 times out of 10. That's a fact, though. If you could, like, she just chats with you on, like, AOL Instant Messenger? I mean, I've definitely been catfished on Instant Messenger. There's a 100% chance that some of my online girlfriends

from, like, fifth grade were just old men. You didn't send any pics or anything no okay that's good no but but thankfully the tech wasn't there to all the backers don't send pics out online to random people on alonest messenger yeah don't do that please just don't shout out to the ai thotties out there though get yours our next partner today is ag1 the daily foundational nutritional supplement that supports whole body health we drink it literally every day i gave ag1 a try because honestly i didn't have that many healthy habits and and I knew I needed some. Did you see me drinking AG1 earlier? I did see you drinking AG1 earlier, my dude. It is my favorite way to kick off the day.

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I think I have some bad news. Uh-ohoh what happened an absolute king has passed why are you laughing because this headline it's it's look it's a sad story but you know anyway go ahead well just go ahead it's fun dude if you think it's funny well a man passed away and that's not funny. An Italian man is crushed to death under falling cheese wheels. All right. Why are you laughing? Because an Italian man was crushed by cheese wheels, and his name is...

It's funny that when Italian people die, apparently. I love Italians, Dave. Dave's Italian. It's my favorite country ever. Honestly, credit to Dave. He's more Italian than I ever gave him credit for before that 23andMe came through. It's a beautiful country. Both 23andMe. It's my favorite country. Honestly, credit to Dave. He's more Italian than I ever gave him credit for before that 23andMe came through. It's a beautiful country. Both 23andMe.

It's a beautiful country. You're really going to have some confused relatives down the line, David. Culture's great. He shows up as twins. Twins? Taught the world how to eat. Famously.

Can we get serious for a sec and honor this man's life, Dylan? What's his name? An Italian man was crushed to death under thousands of wheels of parmesan style cheese authorities said giacomo chiaparini that's why we're doing the story so he can read the name what this is the most italian thing of all time giacomo chiaparini i think it might be chiaparini 74 was buried when a shelf broke in his warehouse in Lombardi region on Sunday.

Oh, it's a beautiful part of the country. The collapse created a domino effect, bringing down thousands of wheels, which weigh about 84 pounds each. That's a lot of cheese, dog. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. I'm thinking if I was going to, let's say you had the choice to choose your destructor uh your your cheese destructor what cheese are you going with i'm going wisconsin sharp cheddar that's going to be that's what i want to crush me to death if i have to be crushed to death by cheese i know it smelled crazy in there i know it smelled crazy in there i don't i don't i don't really care what kind of cheese kills me i mean i think i'm gonna go

queso good answer will honestly like you could bury me in queso right now and like i'd be totally fine with that i'll go some kind of aged uh cheddar dude i want to i want to die getting suffocated in a pillow of monster cheese a A little softer stuff. You want to suffocate as opposed to getting crushed? Yeah, I want to just fall into a hot piece of brie. Okay, so... Giacomo

Ciapparini. Apparently the... They fell about 33 feet, the wheels. Damn. It sounded like thunder. It's probably a painless death. I hope so, man.

There were some touching tributes online. Okay. Hopefully no one made jokes. No, I don't think so. This one said, this is the most honorable burial that you can hope for in Italy. I don't know if that's accurate.

I just don't know if that's the most honorable. Well, there was an Italian person that responded and said, I'm Italian and I can't confirm. Oh, man. I think I'd rather go out via sauce. The gravy, baby. Just drown in the sauce? Yeah.

Another person said, read it. When the moon hits your eyes okay and your back and your thighs that's amor somehow sexual I don't understand

and the final tribute just said he was crushed under debris alright get it Dave that's good different cheese but still good it plays 74 is too young to go sounds like Giacomo Get it, Dave? That's good. These ain't the type of cheese. Different cheese, but still good. It plays.

74 is too young to go. Sounds like Giacomo was a supportive and generous feller. I think tonight, everyone out there, don't be afraid to have some Parmesan-style cheese in honor of Giacomo Chiapparini. Where's Parmesan on your cheese power rankings? Honestly, Parmesan is such a narrow use case for me. Yeah.

I tend to turn it down when offered. I respect its game, but it's just not widely used by your boy. I'm not turning it down. If it's offered with a Caesar salad, I will have a generous take of it. But that's really the only time I go out of my way to add Parmesan. All right. I'm going to do this right now.'re at an italian restaurant okay they bring the caesar around and then a gentleman comes around with a two foot tall pepper grinder oh yeah okay and he says okay i'm gonna do it to i'm gonna do it to dave first okay do it okay all right tell me when

well you're seriously still going, dude? That's too much pepper. That's too much pepper, my guy. What are you doing? Sorry, I've been drinking. That's too much pep, fool. I like a lot of pepper, man. Pepper is great.

I hope nobody clips that. They start doing that cheese, though, that Parmesan on my spaghetti. I'm letting them go dude i always i always say stop uh the pepper before i actually want them to and it's purely for social guilt yeah i don't want people to judge me we're like damn this guy's taking a lot of pepper try that again but approach me and like let me know you're you being uh someone who just immigrated here from italy and now you work in a restaurant doing the pepper thing, how would you approach the table? Like, oh, tell me when.

That's not, yeah. Oh, perfect, perfect, thanks. You wanted a pepper. Yeah, you gave it to me. Pepper me, daddy. Italians are fucking sick, man. pepper me daddy italians are fucking sick man there's italian soccer players who were just arguing with the ref doing this great it was incredible yeah a lot of hand generation there's truly nothing better than when an italian

soccer player starts going like this it's just oh why oh why? Oh, why? Hey, will you present him with some pepper, sir? Here. Hey. We're in Jersey now? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, we're back. Yeah, we're in Jersey.

We're the Italian Jersey people. We're in a Midlothian strip center, and I'm wearing a velour suit. Yeah, you're a man of... Hey, babe, babe. Babe, the goaded lighter's in here! Oh. They don't call me that anymore, but I just want some pepper, please.

All right. Tell me when. All right, that'll do me. Thank you. No more? No, we're good. You don't like the pepper? You don't want too much of the pepper?

Dude, I always want to go like one and a half more seconds. Yeah. But it just, like, the time when they're grinding pepper, time, like, feels so long. I kind of want to do my own pepper, you know? Don't make that big ass shake. Dude, yeah, yeah. Just put it down on the table for two minutes and just let us know. Like, I'll be right back to get this two foot tall grinder.

Yeah. After I was released from prison, went to Russia, had pepper farm really yes you grew pepper then putin took it from me took my family that's not cool moved to siberia still in russia why didn't you leave russia i have no vehicle i have no money you probably aren't allowed after they got you back they're probably not allowed to just give you up again. I have AI bot farm. Really? What are you farming? Pepper? Hot ass.

Babes. Hot digital ass. Mm-hmm. How's that cold brew treating you? We'll find out after this episode when my thoughts are either racing or they're not they say caffeine takes like 20 to 30 minutes to hit i feel like that's not the case with me dude so i was in the airport the other day we somehow were in an airport at a time when there wasn't a 50 person line outside of the starbucks and so we decided to get a coffee

and i asked for a nice coffee and they poured it and it was like translucent and i asked her i was like hey is there any way i can switch to a cold brew like this isn't this stinks baby she saw it she was like oh yeah i'll switch that out for you so i got a i got a cold brew which i traditionally do not do because it just gets me too fired up it took me about three sips of the cold brew in five minutes before i was like yeah i gotta throw this away i'm absolutely buzzing right now i felt like it was day one on the villa dude that's that good shit i got in real deep with red bull back in the day and it got to the point where if i even opened it and got a whiff i would get like juiced up and then you know the thing that happens sometimes

with caffeine would hit like way soon just from the smell of it dude you were drinking so much red bull that i actually saw like these bone things start to like come out of your back a little bit oh something was sprouting he's doing wings we're talking wings no we're not doing streamer on wings are we that that's a good show top five christmas song from wings oh okay paul mccartney they've been getting a lot of play on here for three guys who don't listen to the beatles whatsoever the little i feel like they come up twice a week i'm like i can see myself getting into the beatles do we did conspiracies on paul mccartney and john lennon very recently yeah we did paul recently too

we need to do tupac we haven't done that one yet yeah we should do that one oh randy are you yawning is this are we not entertaining the bachelor party finally catching up to you buddy no i want to give randy credit i want to give randy credit where credit's due for going to jay bone's bachelor party randy came back on monday and was much more spry than i anticipated especially given the fact that he went to bed after 1 a.m on monday night it was also 10 minutes early i know i was very surprised to see your car here and part of me wondered did randy drive straight from the airport and sleep on the couch i did do that once uh when my car battery died in the park airport parking lot just to find out that you guys uh were not coming in that day. Ha! Classic.

You slept on the couch here? At the old office. I like it better when you would have Dan and five dudes over and you all would just drink all our beer and shit. Yeah, Randy pre-games at the office sometimes. Yeah, is Omar ever going to replace all the Vizzy he drank? Yeah, what's up with that, man? Dude, you got to stop giving your boys all the Vizzy. There was like four Vizzys left, and we had like two.

Yeah, right. Your pregame's our party, bro. Yeah. Jeed. We don't really do much. Just hangs out at the office after hours. I mean, it is a fun place to get a beer. It's a good location.

It is. It is. Is Subway rebranding? You didn't read the story i did this was a late edition no i don't know why we didn't talk about this while you're gone i guess because we had a ton of better stories to talk about but y'all had a fucking week just want to say that um subway has a deal going now where if you change your name legally to Subway, you can get free sandwiches for life. There should be a law against this when it comes to corporations making people change their actual life. If you change your middle name, like if Randy went from Francis to Subway, Randy Subway Trimbacchio. Subway Trimbacchio is a good name.

randy subway trim back yo subway trim back he's a good name i don't know i'm too i'm too uh loyal to the the james jonathan you could name your son like you could have a kid and name him cole trim backy i if i have a dog i'm gonna name it cole it's gonna be spelt like cole's oh my god like do you is free sandwiches for life worth it? No. You're going to do this, and they're going to be like, yeah, by... So it actually says in the guidelines for this that it's not for life. It's one sandwich per week in perpetuity.

Like, a few weeks in, I'm like, man, I think I'm tired of eating Subway. Yeah, I can only eat so much Parmesan Asiago bread. It's almost like it's not that good. Yeah. Guys go hard on a meatball sub, though, man. That was their best tasting. Oh, spicy meatball. And a sugar cookie.

Ooh-wee. Ooh, those cookie things would get... Allegedly, they would get bugs in them. Yeah, that's not a surprise. What were the cookie things? They had that clear little thing by the cash register that's got the little trays of cookies. Not exactly airtight, those things.

No, sadly. I was trying to think what the best fast food... If you had to do this for a fast food joint, what would you change your name to? Popeye. Chick. Wendy. As in Chick-fil-A. You could just change your name to Dave from Wendy's.

I don't know if that would be an option, but yeah. That'd be an easy one for you. Is he still around? No. He's got to be dead, right? He's very old. Wendy is, though. He got smothered by a bunch of square patties.

Did we look? We looked her up. Who? Wendy? Wendy Thomas. Might have a different last name now. What, Randy? I think I'd go with King.

Get that Burger King and that Smoothie King bag. And I'm just named King. You'd have to go Burger King. Yeah, you got to go full name, man. I respect that Wendy Thomas is... I mean... Oh, no. Never mind.

I thought she was still wearing... I thought she was grinding away. I thought she was like CEO. She's still out. Yeah. Then she bought back Wendy's. You should DM her. And say what, hey i like your burgers i don't know what it's like the what's randy are there any popular

one-liners that people are throwing out on like hinge and stuff lately if you're on there uh no i don't know it's usually a play on people's names you make a wendy's nuts joke oh that's pretty good there There you go. She might appreciate that. I'll try that. I looked at Randy's profile recently. It said fluent in sarcasm. Oh, my God.

Every other girl is fluent in sarcasm. If I'm at a party, you'll catch me in the corner petting the dog. I'm the type of texter that takes two to three business days to respond. That's a red flag for me. Feed me tacos and tell me I'm pretty. Why did she turn into like a British person there at the end? Did she? A little bit.

She could be from there. Feed me tacos. Feed me crumpets. Feed me crumpets and tell me I'm delightful. Tell me I'm splendid. British hinge would be a fun thing to look at. Not like for purposes of hooking up, but just I'm curious what they're putting in their profiles.

Can't you change your location to like anywhere? Good banter. Good banter is probably a player. You got to think. You got to anywhere good banter good banter is probably a player you gotta think you gotta you gotta have good banter catch me grafting how'd you guys like uh love island usa last night you guys enjoy that you gotta chill out that's not high on my list of things to watch i know you think you can talk me into watching it like you did love island uk but you can't you will no i think you will dude there's some there's some talent on there there's some hot there's some man meat on this really there's also the most awkward character in the history of the show that they have put on this show is that the guy klein was talking about yeah

okay yeah it's all borderline bullying to put this guy on the show in the capacity that they did you think he's doing a bit no no no i think he's just so he's so blissfully unaware of what's going on like he i don't think he i mean i've only through the first episode but like they just put the most awkward like kind of i don't know man naive energy like he just doesn't really understand that like he's kind of the butt of the joke i gotta say man uh for you to have that opinion of him through one episode is quite damning for him i I don't know if this gets better. It's very clear, very early.

Where is it located? I don't know. Their host is Sarah Hyland from whatever. I like her overall, but she doesn't have that boss energy like Maya Jamo. Iron Family? Yeah. Yeah. Oh. like maya jama iron family yeah yeah oh she doesn't have she like when she enters the villa

you don't feel people's hearts like stop like they do when when maya jama walks through the she didn't want married to the dude from the bachelor wells yeah yeah yeah yeah that's a cute little you've been watching the new bachelor right no yeah you've been loving it is there a new bachelorette on right now? Yeah. I did see that Bachelor in Paradise is coming back this fall if anybody wants to dip into that. I will not be. Actually, Brad and I both had a friend that was on The Bachelorette. I don't know if they're still on.

I'm not watching. Separate friends. Not supporting your friend. Two different guys. Neither of you guys are following. If I was on The Bachelorette, would you support me, Randy? Would you watch? No.

Probably because you have a wife and a kid. He wouldn't approve. It's time. This Weekend in Fun, presented by our friends at Miller High Life. I've been seeing Miller High Life pretty much everywhere lately. Some people are giving it a drink of the summer nods. We celebrate life's biggest moments with champagne, but everyday life achievements

deserve to be celebrated too. Whether it's closing out your to-do list, getting somewhere on time, something Dylan doesn't do ever, champagne of beers. Oh, come on. Or just making it through another day. There's reason to celebrate.

So next time you accomplish something with your everyday life, celebrate it with Miller High Life, the champagne of beers, because that's what living the high life's all about. I love high life. I like the bottle. I like the label.

I like the vibe. I like the little champagne-like bubbles. I like everything about it. It's become my official beer kickbacks for this summer. I love them. If I'm a kickback, catch me just holding a Miller High Life. I've been seeing a lot of these on the TL lately. I'm not sure if it's just because we're partnered with them and so it's top of mind for me,

but I'm just seeing them everywhere and I love it. It's probably just that circling back bump they're getting. It's just a beautiful thing. Welcome to the High Life, baby. Living the High Life means you can appreciate quality and timeless classics. You believe the best parts of life are not rare or hard to achieve, and you celebrate achievements within your everyday life with a champagne of beers like people have done for generations. Welcome to the High Life.

Go to MillerHighLife.com slash washed to find Miller High Life near you. Celebrate responsibly. 2023 Miller Brewing Company, Milwaukee, Wisconsin. Shout out KJ. Dylan, what are you getting into this weekend? Thanks for asking, Will. It's the last weekend before Parks goes back to school. School starts on Monday.

Oh, that means traffic's going to get worse. Which his dad is excited about. Oh, this summer camp gauntlet. It's getting to be a lot. Anyway, I don't have him this weekend, but on Saturday, he and his buddies are getting together for a laser tag back-to-school event, and I'll be at that Saturday afternoon.

Kind of looking forward to it. See the little man with all of his buddies again. Be a big day. That's really all I have, man. I'm wide open. If you want to holler at your boy, I want to do something.

Yeah, my texts haven't been going through since I got back from Michigan. It's crazy. Well, all right. Dylan's phone shut off the other day inexplicably. So it could be that too.

How many texts did you miss? None from you, bitch. You don't text me. No, but really, if y'all want to hang out with me Friday or Saturday, I will be available. Okay? My phone will be charged up. I'll be in a good signal area, service area. Holler at your boy.

I'm looking to mob, man. What's that boy getting into? Turns out Sarah Hyland and Wells have been to the Masters, Will. They took pictures of the Masters. They would do a practice day. Can you do that? I guess that's okay to do. At practice days, you can bring a camera in.

You cannot bring in a phone. You can bring in a digital camera, Dave, or a film camera if that's what you're into. You want to get into film photography with me this weekend? Kind of. Kind of. Let me see if I can fit it into my schedule because I've got quite the weekend i'm gonna be drinking mhl's all weekend first of all let's put that you a low life living the high life my dude yeah yeah shout out kid rock yeah really okay um he takes back the shout out uh potential uh doing drinks Saturday afternoon-ish,

and then I think a dinner Saturday. But Friday's pretty open. Other than that, going to mix in a lifetime pool. You doing dinner and drinks with him, man? Some friends. Going to do a lifetime pool morning. Got to do the pool in the morning. Even if you're in the pool, it's disgusting

if you're there past 1 p.m. Catch us at the pool Saturday or Sunday. But please, no pictures. I'll be with my family. What about you? Footy season. It's back. English Premier League. Best time of the year.

It's wake up early and chill season. Can't wait. I'm going to parlay that into doing some spring cleaning this weekend, even though it's closer to fall than it is spring. We're in grind time. We've got less than two months before this baby comes out. It's time to get rid of some shit in our place.

I'm going to sit around and watch soccer all weekend. Might even have a pint. Miller High Life. NHLs. Might buy a Tallboy, and I might pour into like a giant pint glass, and then I'll drink that entire one. Then I'll have like a little bit left that I can put in the pint glass for like a little bonus beer.

You know what I mean? You can do that with maybe a good friend of yours. You want to watch soccer with me. Do you want to come over for some matches? What matches were you looking at this weekend that looked good? Oh, Liverpool-Man City has really caught my attention. Really? Yeah. you looking at this weekend that look good oh liverpool man city has really caught my attention really yeah i so like the the individual games that they're playing like separately from each

other like that's what you're kind of saying yeah yeah that makes sense yeah yeah like that would be an engaging matchup yeah you know my boy holland uh is gonna put a couple homes pronounced holland holland you want to wake up early and watch eng-Columbia? At 5.30am? Yes. Yeah, I'll be at Kelly's Irish Pub for that. Man, that seems like a lit match. Yeah, it probably is. Who are you cheering for? Who are you supporting

in the Women's World Cup now, Dave? Man, I'm riding with the Swedes. That's who beat us, right? I was pretty impressed with France's performance over Morocco earlier, so I think I'm going to have to ride That's who beat us right I was pretty I was pretty impressed With France's performance Over Morocco earlier So I think I'm gonna have to

Ride with France Hey Australia You're in trouble You put them on notice Damn dude I wouldn't want to be Australian if I were them I actually would

Being Australian would be Fucking sick So to summarize your weekend you're gonna drink some beers and clean and watch soccer yeah fuck yeah it's a good weekend it's a good weekend i think it's a pretty good weekend and holler at your boy i think it's a pretty good weekend yeah i don't know if i'm like doing much this weekend like i've been like i'm not trying to go to the strip club or anything i'm just saying i want to link at some point i i feel like you just planted the seed about a story we're not trying to do that i don't like

i feel like you just did that intentionally don't want club. I feel like we're not trying to do that. I feel like you just did that intentionally. I don't want to do that. I'll go to the digital strip club if that's what you want to do. What, like GTA? Yeah. Go hit that GTA 3? Yeah. If you want to sit around and play GTA 3 together, I'll do that.

Dylan's little avatars walk into the ATM hand-in-hand with one of the digital dancers. Do they have a thing where you can play GTA Online with your boys and do missions together? Yes. It's very huge. Word. Randy just mansplained that. What's it called? GTA 5. Do you want to play with me? No, but my roommate might. He's been playing. Why don't you want to play with me?

I'm kind of out on video games. What? What the fuck's wrong? Oh, see, he's into that real life video games like D&D and shit. Real on video games. What? What the fuck's wrong? Oh, see, he's into that real life video games like D&D and shit. Real life video games. Do you go LARPing? No, no, I don't go LARPing. I need a gaming PC. I want to play Baldur's Gate 3

and I don't have enough space. I want to holler at that Harry Potter game. I want to go to Hogwarts. Ooh, Professor Garlic. Woo-woo! Talk about a digital baddie wow do you technically cosplay uh i guess the doug dimido thing is cosplay okay i asked sally i asked sally if like if there were any like hobbies i could take up that would give her the ick and the only thing she could come up

with is larping it's a tough look get your foam sword i don't know i think i could do it i don't know ma'am i think i could do it what if you what if you took up jujitsu and got cauliflower ear y'all wouldn't be able to handle cauliflower ear i'd be so calm cauliflower ear will would be different yeah you guys don't want to mess with physically and just spiritually yeah it'd be very confusing for a lot of people. Yeah. Be quite the pivot. Yeah, but cauliflower is a pretty good substitute for meat these days.

I think it's time to call it a stop. Have you had those cauliflower wings at that vegan restaurant you took me to? Yeah. They're not bad. Dude, they're not bad. They're not bad. They're not bad. Roasted cauliflower is having a moment right now. The HEB cauliflower pizza that Rhodes loves is quite good.

I've had it. I've had it. Mighty Crust, I think it is, or something. Yeah, dude. Really? It's decent. Yeah. All right.

It's not worth playing your Zocard. No, I don't think I would. No, no, no. Don't burn your Zocard on it. They have these little cauliflower-like round little pita things that we make tuna melts on every once in a while. You fuck with tuna melts? No.

But I didn't tell you how my... What? I love a tuna melt. I don't like tuna melts. I love a tuna melt. I made tuna melts for dinner last night. Can I say something? I don't think I've ever had one.

You come over, Dave, and I'll make you a tuna melt. I will make you a fucking tuna melt. I'll bring you the gift of a tuna melt one day, even though you didn't bring me gumbo, motherfucker. This is a guy who had a snack of Ritz crackers uh canned tuna yesterday hey who did that me oh i'm totally in on that dave you got it wasn't bad when i was like what's on a tune when i was broke as hell my daily lunch was just uh tuna salad and um everything pretzel thins when i do a tuna melt at home okay i love pretzels yeah so you got your tuna salad uh-huh you have a cheese uh it's up to you what kind the problom might be a good one on there i'll do a wheat bread that's a good call that's a tasteful call from you and i'll do a brown mustard

oh see i don't like the mustard i do mustard it's dank oh can you go like i don't know maybe think like the most underrated condiment, yellow mustard? You probably could, yeah. That's an option to you. The backers. No one's talking about it, Randy. Was that a Brett thing? And you put it, like you heat it up, like you put it in the oven so the cheese melts and all that.

That sounds good. That was a Brett thing, but I think Dave also said that the blueberry was underrated berry, and I feel like it's a very highly rated berry. Yeah, it is. One of the highest rated berries. Okay, I don't hear y'all talking about it. I do talk about it. That's a good point. I pull up in here.

I've never heard you guys speaking on blueberries. We did have the backers vote on whether or not salsa was a condiment, and they voted that it was not a condiment. I'm still not convinced it's not a condiment. I think it could qualify. Yeah, it can. I think it could qualify. I don't have a strong opinion about it either way, though, so it could qualify. Yeah, it can. I think it could qualify.

I don't have a strong opinion about it either way, though. So it's whatever. Yeah, but here's the question. Hot dog a sandwich? It's time to end this podcast, I think. All right. That's fair. That's fair. I get it. Bye. you