Circling Back - Chicago One-Star Bar Reviews & Bachelor in Paradise

Episode Date: September 7, 2021

An abbreviated Podcast Week begins with recapping our Weekends in Fun, One-Star Bar Reviews from Chicago, a recap of the drama from last night’s Bachelor in Paradise with Brendan and Piper, and more. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (12:45) Recapping This Holiday Weekend in Fun (32:30) One-Star Bar Reviews: Chicago (55:55) Two Minutes in Paradise (1:07:27) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors DraftKings: www.draftkings.com (download the app and use WASHED for $200) Raycon: www.buyraycon.com/steam (15% off!) Honey: www.joinhoney.com/circlingback (save money, stimulate the economy) Ten Thousand: www.tenthousand.cc (CIRCLING for $15 off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back. Circling Back Podcast presented by Busy Heart Seltzer, the only heart seltzer with vitamin C and superfruit acerola. My name's Will DeFreeze. To my left, David Carter-Ruff. If the stache looks a little bit off today, which I don't think it does, but if it does, it's just because I was trimming it up with Rhodes in one arm and the trimmer in the other, which no one has done before. I'm actually glad you said something because Dylan's been side texting me

this entire time talking about how mid your mustache looks today. My dad over the weekend asked me, he goes, I didn't. He's like, oh, you still got it? He's like, when you came in, I didn't even notice it. He's like, I thought you had shaved it. That's a good thing, man. It's just you now. I was like, so you thought I had shaved it, but it's still here.

Right. Was this before or after he printed out an article about ranch waters? This was actually about an hour before. Okay. One of the first things he did upon my arrival was present me with an article about ranch waters. Because he knows I'm a fan. He knows, you know, a lot of people credit me with just inventing that as a thing. And he just printed it out and handed it to me.

He said, hey, check this out. Shouts to a fellow home printer boy, though. I respect that about him. Apparently, a lot of the home printer boys are coming out of the woodwork. We've got Shitto. KJ. KJ. Your boy, of course.

When are y'all going to get printers? When I find a time machine that takes me back about two decades. Yeah. Sometimes you need to print stuff, though. You can't deny that. Like your son comes over and you have to show him an article? It's funny because my dad weekly will send me links to articles. Maybe he knows that I'm not reading them all.

He knew you were going to be on the premises, man. He wanted to put it right. He wanted to make sure that this one got to you. I wish you would have highlighted some of the key parts in the article, though, just to make sure you didn't miss it. It says you can bet the ranch on it. Wow. Does he know that you consume ranch waters and that might pique your interest,

an article about it? I believe so, yeah. That's probably what made him do it. He even purchased some of the canned ones for us to enjoy over the weekend. Someone actually left two cans of those over at our place this past weekend. A two-can? It would be spicy. It was a two-can. A beautiful bird.

It was two-can Sam. I would have preferred if they left just a two-can for me. That would be dope. I'm not sold on these canned beverages yet, these canned ranch waters yet. The Ranch Rider Paloma ones are very good. They're good. I'll say so myself. I just prefer making my own Palomas and stuff.

I'd rather just get the ingredients and just make one considering it's all of like two ingredients, you know? It's not that hard. This guy's artisanal. It's not that hard. You're right about that. But it is nice to just crack one and start going to town on it. Yeah.

And I'm sure that if somebody like served me one over ice, I probably wouldn't have any idea that it wasn't freshly made. And in some situations, it's nice to be able to just grab one instead of having to get the ingredients out and mix it together. See, he does not embrace the grind like we do. He doesn't understand the grind of making a cocktail.

Canned cocktails are the wave. I know. We should make one. I only do canned hard seltzer. And one specifically, and that's Vizzy. It's the only hard seltzer with vitamin one specifically, and that's Vizzy. Yeah. It's the only hard seltzer with vitamin C and superfruit acerola. That's true.

I didn't think of it like that, but that's totally true. We got Dylan Chivary in the building today. Hey, everyone. Happy to be here too, man. It's a long weekend, and it's just good to be back in the stew with you, with my very handsome friends, Will and Dave. I'd like to apologize to everyone out there. We discussed last week that we were going to do an episode on Monday,

but then we decided to not do an episode on Monday and delay until today. We lied to the people. Do a little double feature. To be honest, like, me, Dave, and Dylan, we were all super ready to come in on Monday and record, but, like, Randy was throwing a little hissy fit. And so we decided, like, you know what, let's throw Randy a bone. Let's give him Labor Day off, and I just don't want to hear him whine anymore.

So we decided to delay until today. He's been a whiny boy lately. Well, here we are. Straight up bitch. I don't think Randy's a straight up bitch. I like Randy. I think he deserved the day off yesterday. Did the Boilermakers win their football game?

They did, he said. Wow, that's big. If you want to hear more about Purdue football, check out yesterday's Too Much Dip. Hey man, we recorded. But guess what? We did not talk about Purdue football. No.

Not going to lie, when I saw that you guys recorded, I was not jealous at all. I was like, oh man, they're better men than me. It was good. It was good because we just talked college football, man. Oh, dude, the boys. Just like hanging out, eating apps at Chang's. Eating what?

Just talking about the sports that you had consumed over the weekend. Just hanging out like eating some lettuce wraps. You can't even eat lettuce wraps. I really can't. Don't come in here with lies. Everyone knows that you can't eat lettuce wraps. Just because I can eat lettuce wraps. I really can't. Don't come in here with lies. Everyone knows that you can't eat lettuce wraps. Just because I can't doesn't mean I don't. That's fair.

Wow. Look, I'll take that 12 minutes later... Sprint to the bathroom? Stomach rumble. Is it the lettuce? What is it? No, it's not the lettuce. I think it's the...

I think it might be the Chang sauce. I like it extra spicy. know lettuce sometimes it's like every few months there's a notice out it's like hey don't eat lettuce now no but the in terms of that like that that's the that's gonna get hit you 24 hours later whereas the chang sauce is that's an immediate hook line and sinker or hook on and stinker in this case. Talking about you, Dave. Right. I'm sorry. That's not appropriate. No, it's good.

Hey, man, this is going to be a fun episode. Is it podcast week? Maybe. It's a shortened week. Is it okay to have podcast week be on a four-day week? I don't know when it was scheduled for. You guys are still doing podcast week. Well, today's podcast day because we're doing Worst Of this afternoon. We're doing it every Tuesday until spooky season hits.

Spooky season's coming way soon. When is spooky season hitting? Soon. Dave? Don't put me on the spot like that. Are we going to have one in September? Probably not. Oh.

Okay. Cool, dude. We did. I don't know. It felt a little soon last year. Huh. Huh. Okay.

I mean, if we want to pull back the curtain, do we need to do one in September? I'm just so excited for it. I'll do one today. I want to do it. If you've got the stories, I'll do one right now. I wish it was year-round, honestly. You should see my inbox, spookyatwashedmedia.com, if you have a spooky story you want me to share.

Hey. And I'll respect your anonymity. Anonymity. If you want me to. Your anonymity. What Will just said is not the worst idea. We should do one story during the free episode

to show the people what they would be missing if they were not to subscribe to our Patreon page. Look at the big brain on Dylan over here. What do you think, Dave? Can we make that happen?

Maybe mid to late September. I'll have to run it by my manager. Who's your manager? I cannot be managed. Is it Randy? No, it's a different guy. It's actually a gal.

Okay. Her name's Sarah. Is it Barbara Corcoran? Well, if Sarah says it's okay, maybe we should try that. She's kind of handling a lot of my stuff. And actually, from now on, you'll need to go through her before you go to me. Hey, man. Que sera, sera.

Is the company funding your manager to me. Hey, man. Que sera, sera. Is the company funding? No, I've been. No, no, no. Okay. She just gets a cut of all my side deals. Oh. Commish. You get more free stuff sent to you than we do.

You always have guys hitting you up sending you meat and stuff. Has anybody sent me meat? New seasoning and stuff. Oh, yeah. A guy did send me. Shout out to my dude who sent me meat new season oh yeah a guy did send me shout out to my dude who sent me the italian sausage uh literally dude it's this italian that's what people forget hey oh are we still are we still steaming our italian meats yeah guys too every time fritz and i take a steam shower at night, I have to bring in all our Italian meats to make sure they get up to town.

Wow. Yeah. That's crazy. I feel like there's a better way to do it than steam. Wow, Fritz smells like Capicola 24-7. I'm loving it. Call him Captain Cola. Yeah, it's tight.

Let's get some programming notes out of the way. Like we just said, we're doing it this afternoon, every Tuesday until spooky season, patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. Get in for as little as $5 or you can even do a $10 where you get every single piece of Patreon content or you can subscribe for the year

and get 10% off. Just do it. We're also doing Friday voicemails on Thursdays. It just is what it is. Also, add us on the Grom. Add me on the group. Circling Back Pod

and Watch Media. Leave a review and five-star rating. I'm not going to read any reviews today because we've got a stacked episode. But I'll do it tomorrow, I think. We've got some good ones. I'm excited, man.

And then tell a friend about the podcast. You can also head over to YouTube.com slash Watch Media. Fucking Dave's fucking side-eyeing me over here. I'm excited, man. Dude, Dave's on one. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm trying to promote our... Well, stand up and show us how excited you are, you coward. You don't want to not say shit over there.

Are you rocked up or not? Are you rocked up? You're not even rocked up. If I was, I wouldn't stand up and show it to the camera. You showed your ass. That's super inappropriate. You did show your ass one time. I did.

Well, no. Well, my pants were up. My pants were up. You're the guy who would go on a date in paradise of nude volleyball, and you'd be like, I can't, man. I can't, man. I can't, man. My family's going to see it. We're on TV.

More on paradise later. I keep my pants on, yeah. Damn it, are we shooting crap today? Because we're going to paradise. Snake eyes. Two minutes in paradise. I think we're going to do more than two minutes. Can we get Micah to just record that drop for the board?

You don't want me singing it? It's not that you're bad at it. It's just Micah's a special. Two minutes in paradise. Yeah, that's no Micah, man. That was beautiful. To everyone reaching for the pause button because you're going to turn this off for the rest of the day, please stop. Please just stop right now.

Me? No, I'm telling the people that are trying to pause and maybe go to a different podcast. I promise I will only do it one more time the rest of the episode. Is this pod going to hit? Are they going to know that they're getting a Tuesday episode in addition to Worst Of? Did we give them that? Or is this going to hit them like, surprise?

I tweeted about it last night. The tweet did not do numbers. The tweet did not do numbers. So people are kind of upset. They're like, what's going on? But when they get those two numbers, their heads are going to explode. They're going to do the Will G gift where he's like that one they don't know what's what's going on they have no clue so much coming out of my wants do you know what time it is that is what

it's time to recap this holiday weekend and fun presented by raycon i don't know if you guys are out there like you know we're all kind of getting back to normal a little bit. We might have a little social anxiety. Before you go to the bars, you should probably just toss on Welcome to Wilmonds on your Raycons and just let it rip. Just feel better about it. Get in the mood. Raycons accompany Stella and me on our daily walks.

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and unlike some other brands, they don't stick out of your ears. These things, you can pretty much put them in any ear out there. Yeah, if you've got an ear, they've got a headphone setting for you. They have 32-hour battery life. 32 hours. Dude, that's insane. Is that more than it used to be? I don't understand how it's possible that such a tiny little thing can have that much.

It's crazy what they do with the technology these days. It is wild, isn't it, David? These batteries. They can't die. Do you know what else I like about these? This isn't even a copy. They pair easier than any other earbuds that I've ever used. All these other ones, I'm always like, why isn't it pairing?

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But like, it's on, but it's on at the same time. Connected. They start at half the price of other premium audio brands, but they sound just as good, if not better. And Raycons, yeah, they come with a 45-day happiness guarantee, so you really can't lose. Give them a try, and you'll see what we mean. Create your own soundtrack now with Raycon. Right

now, circling back listeners can get 15% off their Raycon order at buyraycon.com.steam. That's buyraycon.com.steam for 15% off Raycons. Buyraycon.com slash steam. Dylan, what did you do this weekend? Thank you for asking me, Will. Friday, a pretty low-key night in with the homie and with Bay.

We had a lovely Friday evening. Didn't do a whole lot. Saturday, went out to the ranch. Got some family time in at the ranch. That was a good time. Came home on Sunday and Parks and I went to a little thing called Jurassic

Quest at the Austin Convention Center and it was pretty dope. He was getting some pics off. They had life-size animatronic dinosaurs including a T-Rex, which was cool. It was cool to see.

Yeah, they had a Spinosaurus up in there, a Cercetops. Spinal. Right. All the main characters of the dinosaur world were there. A bunch of rides. Was Jeff Goldblum there? He was, yeah. He got to ride a little

dinosaur it wasn't real of course um got him some you took him to a place where they don't have real fucking dinosaurs it turns out there you can't find him anywhere i don't know if you knew that he had you could ride one dinosaur which dinosaur are you riding brachiosaurus are you kidding that's so that's pretty boring it's the tallest dinosaur that there is. Yeah, but it's just eating the leaves off of trees, right? Yeah, I want a friendly one. I don't want to get eaten up, Dave. I'm not trying to get ate up, dog.

What do you want? T-Rex? Raptor? Ooh, dude, Raptor. Raptors are sick. They've got hops. Raptors are sick. Raptor.

It's Raptor. Shouts to Raptor. Yeah, we hope he's okay. Haven't heard from Raptor in a while. If you are sick. Raptor. It's Raptor. Shouts to Raptor. Yeah, we hope he's okay. Haven't heard from Raptor in a while. If you're still out there listening... You blocked him on Snapchat or something. I think that was him. I've been trying to unblock him. I just don't know who Raptor is. Yeah, we don't know who you are, Raptor. I get loose with the block button. I'm sorry. I'm not going to apologize.

We don't even have Snap anymore. You know what? If I blocked Raptor on Snapchat, that means one thing and one thing only. He sent me a photo of his poop. That's so Raptor. I don't block people for anything else other than that. That used to be an auto-block situation for me. Easy.

Raptor, if you are listening, I don't even have it on my phone anymore, so don't even worry about it. I blocked a lot of people because of that. Lots and lots of people. Damn, dude. That was a sneeze from last week. Oh, my God. Don't do it two more times.

To wrap up my weekend yesterday, got a little swim off at the Uppit Lifetime with Parks. We had a great time. Got some food poolside. It was a good sitch up there. They have poolside food? Yeah. They have a bar. They sell alcohol there, too, at the pool.

I did not know that. Yes. They had some craft beers, some seltzers in there oh when you said you were at the pool yesterday i thought you were at the uh community pool i was at the lifetime pool it's just better seen man got slides a bunch of kids running around i'm tired of these thunderstorms honey dick in my neighborhood yeah it was getting dark over there wasn't it but later on around the time we recorded uh too much dip i was out front just like hands on my hips looking up like yeah okay here we go it was threatening but it never happened

not in my neighborhood that concludes my weekend in fun thank you for asking damn dude what about dave what day what a little situation what that boy do uh i was back in duncanville texas um does. That's home of the Panthers, right? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Defeated South Oak Cliff. Did not go to the game. But I did go to my favorite hometown bar, Mudhook,

with one KJ of Too Much Dip fame. You might have seen his tweet. He had a fun tweet. Not a big KJ guy myself. Y'all need to get rid of whatever that beef is, man. It's kind of lingering and it makes it a little awkward when he's in the studio. Ever since we had that night when we did a company dinner and I beat him in arm wrestling, he just hasn't looked at me the same.

Yeah, that's something we definitely do at our company dinners. That was a wild scene, wasn't it? I had to push his shoulder back into the socket after I got done with it. Wow. Yeah. It was a nightmare. Tore his rotator cuff. Yeah.

Yeah, it was pretty low-key. It all culminated in a pool day on Sunday at my parents' place where we got Rhodes in the water. Rhodes is my son. He's a little older than seven months now. And he got his first pool day. Got in the water and absolutely loved it. Was zooming around the pool.

He was having a blast, man. Saw that big old smile on his face. Dude, in that moment, like no one was happier. Just cheesing. Damn. It was fun. It was a good time. Weather was a little overcast, but that's okay.

Hey, man. You can still get burned. You still have to apply that SPF. That's absolutely right. He has like the expensive sunblock. It's like mineral or something. I'm like, do I need to be using this too? Well, I don't think you can put like your classic sunblock on a baby.

I lay Fritz down on a towel, and I just douse him in SPF 4 tanning oil. I just lube him up. Okay. Yeah. He's got some good color to him. Yeah, Fritz is made for tanning. He got Sally's tanning jeans. Saturday night, the night before, we did do a dinner.

It was a mommy-daddy was uh we don't get to do very often we did uh we'll place restoration hardware confusingly has a restaurant atop of it really on the yeah i walking through that place have you ever been to a restoration hardware i had not resto you been yeah i mean we have one in austin there's one in the domain okay it is so expensive walking through there i was like i don't even want to, like, walk up the stairs and bump into one of these, like, $25,000 mirrors. Because, like, and I'm like, who's buying this? It's very Dallas in there.

Very Dallas. The restaurant was excellent, though. Very good. Very cool. Were you Restoration All Feeding? Restoration. Man, that is such a reach. I have no choice but to stand

What'd you order? Like what does Resto have? I went steak and a salad Wow I went ribeye Did you go chop? I mean wedge? They did not have a wedge

Huh I bet you're getting a wedge on Thursday though Aren't you you little bitch? Where are we going? Carve? Carve Carve Carve

Carve Hey real quick Shouts to our Rocket City Trash Pan Where are we going? Carve? Carve. Carve. Carve. Carve. Hey, real quick, Shops. The hottest steak, Ronte. Shouts to our Rocket City trash pan as we're taking three or four from the Tennessee Smokies over the weekend. Yeah, they didn't make the playoffs, but I think we're primed for next year. I said that, but I don't know if what I said is true yet. Wow, okay. It appears that their schedule is ongoing, so I don't know what's going on.

Okay, so you're spreading fake news. An article I read said they missed the playoffs by half a game, but then they have future games on the sketch. So I don't know. Anyway, they won three or four. That's the real news here. Shouts to our Trash Pandas. You've seen them play before, right? Stand-up Trash Nation.

When you were in Nashville, didn't you say there were a lot of Tennessee smoke shows? We're talking about babes. I may have said that. Freaking smoke show, bro. Right, right. Fucking rocket ship. Oh, my right right fucking rocket ship oh my god ah fucking rocket ship oh my god bro to the moon man sorry it's not even what accent is that's

stupid i had a great weekend drove back yesterday fun times randy had a blast back of my car is gross. Randy needs a detail. Okay. Oh, I got my, I got my registration renewed. Very cool. Oh, please keep telling that story. Only six months late. That's soft. You know what I did?

I've gone way longer than that. If you go more than nine, you have to actually go in to do it though. No, you don't. There's one, there's one workaround that you can do that. I did. Yeah. I bought a new car. Oh yeah. I've done that too. No, you don't. There's one workaround that you can do that I did. I bought a new car. Oh, yeah. I've done that, too. I went 13 months and said, you know what?

I'm getting a new car. I'm not dealing with this anymore. It's somebody else's problem now. Don't care. I don't need to register this 2005 Ford Fusion. That's sick. Why do you have to register? It's big government, man. Texas makes it so much more difficult than any other state. They really do. It's a scam.

It's a scam. I's a scam. Somebody's getting paid. It's a scam. It is. I paid a guy one time, like, pretty much I paid him, like, 10 extra dollars to just say that I was fine, and he was fine with that. The inspection I can get behind because there are actual, like, reasons, like, you know, emissions, for example. Oh, yeah.

My car is really harming me. You've got an issue with that, right? You register your car and, like, oh, by the way, in two years you've got to re-register it. Like, why? Tell me why. Didn't you take the muffler off your truck so it was louder? Sick. He also took the seat off his own bike.

Yeah, because of the way it felt. It's such a scam, dog. Do you even care what I did this weekend? No. Or do you just care about renewing your registration? I want to talk more about illegal modifications to vehicles. All I know is that you went to a pool without me. You didn't even contact me about it.

I had two different types of Wagyu this weekend. Are you guys prepared for this? Why don't you address what I just said about the pool situation that I wasn't invited to? Sorry, dude. Are you? No. But, like, you're making me feel like I should say sorry.

Why couldn't you just cast me a text and see what happens? Fine, dude. Maybe you'll be on the next one. We'll see. We'll see. You don't have to cast a text. You can just send the text via your phone. I'm just saying.

No, I respect that you're trying to get into fly fishing. Yeah. Oh, they're so slimy. Will, can you get this off my hook? Yeah, exactly what I'd be saying. Tell us about the Wagyu, dog. I went to – I had some friends. Well, so Friday night we did the classic Matt's pre-game day.

It was lit in there. It was a little too hot in there if I'm being honest. And I have to say – The whole junk clan in there? I'd like to give a special shout-out to Matt's El Rancho for serving me the hardest tortillas I've ever had on my Al Carbon tacos. They were just rocked up? Hey, how many chips did you have? Too many.

Just fully torqued tortillas? You know, two chips is a whole tortilla. Yeah, I'm aware of that. I have to say. You've got to change that. Dude, they absolutely botched my tacos al carbón. It was just an abomination of tortillas there. It was disgusting.

Well, you know, we determined yesterday on Too Much Dip that Matt's is the college game day of Tex-Mex restaurants. It's, like, safe and, like, you go there all the time. It's atmosphere. It's all about the atmosphere, the substance. You're not going to really get anything from. It's so fair. It's so fair.

I was just bummed, honestly. And so then, you know, I went back to my place. I actually made a batch of homemade Mexican martinis for the squad back at my crib. They went off pretty well. What the fuck? It was a family thing, dude, family business. You just want to hang out with in austin except for me well i'm sorry i was hanging out with my like brother and sister-in-law dog uh saturday your boy did a lot of lounging i did do a little

pool session alone sorry i didn't text you because i wanted to be alone dylan uh ended up uh going out with some friends that were in town from Houston. Had my first Wagyu. We did a little A5. You ever heard of that? Best bite of food in Austin. Where? What is A5? Uchiko, dude.

I've had it. I mean, yeah. It was so legit. And then we also went over to my friend's parents' pool on Sunday night, and he brought in a steak that he had purchased, and he made us a nice little Wagyu appetizer. What the hell? It was wonderful. I'm just living that life right now.

Who are you? I don't know. I'm eating a lot of red meat. I'm worried that the doctor's going to be like, hey, Will, scale it back. And then, yeah, yesterday during Labor Day, I didn't do anything. I sat around. I watched a movie. I watched some television, watched some of the sports, got some Solheim Cup in.

Did you watch that Notre Dame-Florida State game? I did not. Did not even watch one second of it. It was pretty sick, man. Didn't care. That was Sunday night, right? Okay. I don't support Notre Dame.

Oh, I don't either, but it was a good football game. Is Bobby Bowden still the coach? No, he's actually recently deceased. He was tight. Not only is he no longer the coach, but he is no longer alive. Well, he was goaded. He was awesome. Is he in the College Football Hall of Fame? He will be. You only is he no longer the coach, but he is no longer alive. Well, he was goaded. He was awesome. Is he in the College Football Hall of Fame?

He will be. You got to think. I'm going to put him in there myself. Dude, that straw flat brim hat that he always wore with the band on it? Sick. Super sick. Sick. No, I didn't watch that, though.

I would have been cheering for Florida State. I was. They did not win, unfortunately. I support Florida State. You better look out, Buster. He's a loose cannon. My knoll's loose. Look out.

That video plays no matter what. It does. It does. I'm going to be out of content in 20 years, and I'm just going to find that video and be like, man, those were the days. His delivery was spot on. I'm going to be showing it to Rhodes, looking at his face,

like, no, watch this. And he's not going to think it's funny and be like, what? No, you've got to see it. No, hold on. Let me read it back. You've got to watch it. Look at the way his facial expression doesn't change. I mean, Rhodes is going to be, what, almost 21 at that point?

Like, what's going to be on his phone? Is he even going to be, like, talking to us or anything? I feel like our kids are just going to be in these, like, VR scenarios where they don't even speak to us. He's going to be a VR trooper. It's going to be like that episode with Landry, with Meth Damon of Black Mirror, where he just goes and plugs in every day.

Okay, don't call him Meth Damon. That's what people call him. That's not nice. That's what people call him. Landry. You're talking about Todd from Breaking Bad. He killed a dude in Friday Night Lights and got away with it because his dad's a cop. He's killed a dude in many shows.

Why is he killing people? Why is he just a killer? He's a scumbag and everything. He's not a scumbag. No, that was a justified homicide. Yeah, he didn't pick up that pipe just to kill someone. He did it to protect Tyra. You pull a pipe, you better be willing to kill.

That's what I've always said. You see me with pipe in my hand, somebody's going to die. Dude, chill. What about when you just pull pipe? I did. Oh, I did play golf Friday. I pulled pipe. If I had a pipe.

Lost that drive left many times. If I had a pipe, Dylan, do you think you could beat me up still? Could you disarm me i'll tell you if you missed if you miss with your first swing you might be in trouble because i'm like i'm gonna i'm gonna surround you this is what that doesn't make sense like i'm gonna i'm gonna wrap the guy from punch out the genie and make and make the pipe just useless to him multiplicity and what what the multi multiverse dylan i'm taking him to the ground dylan's got an issue with this because this is how he said he would defeat the cobra he said if the cobra the king cobra one of the fastest you know snakes ever with the snap

you just dodge it dylan just dodges it and then just takes it out puts it in a headlock have you seen the the people who who mess with these things snake Snake charmers? Yeah. I have. They strike at those guys, and you can elude a snake strike. You can. Dylan thinks we can defeat the invisible enemy by just surrounding it. Why don't we just ambush it? Also, the king cobra is not one of the cobras that spits.

It's venom. Not a spitter. Randy? Marva. Randy? Not a spitter. Yeah, exactly. Some good intel.

I stand by my Cobra tape. The New York Times yesterday actually had a long slideshow. I don't know how they did this in the paper, but they did this on my iPad where they taught you how to approach bears. And? Based on the knowledge that I have received from backers, from you guys, I did very well on the quiz. Very well on the quiz.

We talk bears quite a bit on here, so we should know. We bear hug companies as well. And we bear hug many companies. Better fucking look out. That's what they sound like. Dylan, we have a special treat for the people at home right now. What is it? Might be a new sponsor alert.

Oh, shit. My bad. I'm slipping. We have a new. This is not just a new sponsor. This is a super mega awesome new sponsor alert. New sponsor. It's about DraftKings, baby.

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A stack is $1,000, right? Yeah. So there's a fifth of a stack. Yeah, it's a fifth of a stack, but a cooler way is to say that, probably. Two C notes is better? Yeah. Two Benjamins. You get $200 in free bets instantly when you go bet $1 or more on any football game.

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I think I like the idea of doing daily fantasy even if it is available have you ever done it before yeah I have it is so much it's very enjoyable I used to do it with golf yeah and unlike my my typical shitty fantasy football teams that are like trash after my third or fourth week you get to reset it every week

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See DraftKings.com slash Sportsbook for details. And if you have a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER or in Indiana, 1-800-9-WITH-IT. I will be mixing it up in those daily fantasy football. Dude, catch me. Catch me. I will be. You're going to be like, dang, who's Ladd Football, bro?

And why did he just take the top prize? No one's going to be asking themselves that. It's your boy. First time I ever did one, I did my friend's little league. And I didn't know you could enter your team into multiple contests. Had I done that, I would have won like 10K because I won their league and won like 100 bucks. I know a couple people who have won like five digits in prizes. I was once with a guy at a wedding, and we returned from the wedding where he forgot his phone.

And after we got there around midnight to our condo, he picked up his phone and saw that he had won $50,000. Holy shit. You know what I did? I made him order an Uber immediately and drive us to the bar so we could go crazy. How crazy did it go? It was underwhelming. Like, the excitement to the bar was really, like, up there. But once we actually got there and, like, it was empty, we were like, ah, fuck.

We're the only people excited about this right now. I promise you this. If that ever happens to me, I'm taking everybody to the discotheca. What if we're at the... Even if we're at the boardroom? Doesn't matter. Even if we're at the boardroom. From the boardroom to the discotheca, we'll be there.

God. Goodness gracious. Dude, catch me doing some footy. So what did he get after taxes? Not sure. Still a lot. Do you want me to ask him next time? No.

They have a newborn. Very cool. Shouts the newborn. What's his name? Not sure. Okay. Steve. Clive. Probably not the newborn. What's his name? Not sure. Okay. Steve. Clive.

Probably not Clive. It's not Clive. Clive. Dave, we've got a recurring segment that I think we're about to bring to the TL right now. Yeah, it's a new twist on an old favorite. It's one star bar reviews. Chicago edition. ChiTown.

Hey, summertime shy. See ya. You're gone. So most of these... Oh, yeah, summer's over. Hey, summertime Chi, see ya. You're gone. So most of these, oh yeah, summer's over. Dude, fall is falling. My favorite way to start a column. You guys don't have the internal clock that tells you that Labor Day is the first day of fall. Y'all just don't have that down here.

Is it because it was 100 degrees yesterday? Yeah, but dude, Randy, doesn't it feel different? Do you feel different inside? No, Randy doesn't feel different. Randy is dead inside. Is this officially the first day of fall? No, but, like, when you're up in Michigan, like, there's something tangible about Labor Day. It's like, oh, fuck, it's over.

That's just something people from up north say. Fall hits here about October 20th. Even then, it's like, hey. Well, I'm going to tell you this, though. If you don't like the weather, just wait 15 minutes. I thought it was wait five minutes. I'm going to tell you this, though. If you don't like the weather, just wait 15 minutes.

I thought it was wait five minutes. I feel like these segments come up, we're just kind of like wanderlusting about towns we want to go visit. We're like, man, we'll go back to Chicago, hang out with Brad and Duda and the gang. We did our first meetup there with our old podcast, if you're new here. We did a douchebag bar crawl. Yeah, I was going to say, we originally built it as a douchebag bar crawl. Because we are douchebags and we do bar crawls. Very fitting for this segment because we look for some douchey bars. Yeah, and Chicago makes it pretty easy to find bad bar reviews. I will say, though.

I feel like everybody just shits on these bars. There was one bar in Chicago that people described as the douchiest bar. And it was the one that I ended up having the most fun at while we were there. Was it Benchmark? Benchmark. Dude, Benchmark was lit. Benchmark had pretty good reviews. It didn't seem douchey.

It just seemed lit. Honestly, the only downside to Benchmark is that I met Randy there for the first time. Really? Is that where it happened? Same for me, Randy, or no? Yep. Wow. I feel like I was for me, Randy, or no? Yep. Wow. I feel like I was way nicer to Randy, though.

I hung out with Randy for like an hour at Benchmark. We were doing, what were we drinking? Rumble Mint and water? That is the worst drink order ever, but I kind of liked it at the time. Big ups to Randy. So what are you doing? Are you reading these reviews or what? Yeah.

Yeah. Give me a sec. Jeez, OP, man. We didn't even make it to Bottle Blonde, which we will get. I'm going to close with Bottle Blonde as it is actually closed in Chicago. But I just want to say, I was texting with the lads earlier, and one thing I've learned in looking at a lot of these bars is that there's a lot of Chicago bars that are both racist and bad. Makes sense. Looking at these reviews, I'm like, what the fuck's going on up there? We'll start with Social 25. Social 25.

Randy, are you familiar with this? Oh, he gave me a wry smile. Randy's been. Oh, he's been. He's got this smile on his face right now. It's telling a whole story. A little off Mike Randy over there. Done some mosting at Social 25, I think. Other than the criminally overpriced and red

solo cup worthy drinks, there's one real reason to absolutely hate this place. The music. Auditory diarrhea would be more adequate. Ooh, it's not a between the hair. I've never heard a band disgrace the art of music in the manner of the band at Social 25. Their

non-existent talents notwithstanding, their biggest failure was to play a single song relevant to the time and place and instead regale a captive crowd with boy and girl band hits from the 2000s. Okay. Needless to say, I shan't be returning. Okay.

I've never seen that word written out. Anyone who uses shant or shant in a review of a bar. Is it shant or shant? I don't know if I want to trust their opinion too much. No, and the fact that they said red Solo Cup worthy drinks, like, call me crazy, but that's a compliment. When I'm mixing up a drink in a red Solo Cup, that means it's going to be strong and, like, pretty damn good.

No? I don't know. I see your point. This person is trying to say like they're saying it's like low class yeah well drink yeah i don't know well no like the rest i don't want to hang out with this person no this person seems a little uh hoity-toity for me if you have a sensible bone in your body you'll never make the initial mistake i did of entering the premises of this bar this person has never heard a band disgrace the art of music in the manner in which they heard what's wrong with playing like pop hits from the 2000s i feel literally nothing

you look he was looking for deep cuts yeah what do you want he wanted to hear like uh arcade fire or some shit i don't know is. Is Arcade Fire? I don't know. I don't know. This person puts out major art school vibes. Shouts to all the people who went to art school. I respect you, but like y'all do have insufferable takes on music, and you guys can admit that. That review makes me want to check this place out.

I know. Sometimes the one-star reviews make me want to go even more. This is one of those times. Well, maybe this will change your mind. Also from Social 25. Have you ever seen the planet earth episodes where they film Alaskan breeding grounds for migratory birds, where it's just thousands and thousands of the same birds standing next to each other. That's like Ben. Oh, this is

actually benchmark. Excuse me. That's like benchmark, except it's millennial hipsters that congregate here. All dressed the exact same. It's kind of like the dudes at the Ole Miss game last night. The boys were mobbing. Dude, Ole Miss jerse the Ole Miss game last night. Those guys. The boys were mobbing. Dude, Ole Miss jerseys last night were so hot. Those guys could not have been more Ole Miss. Is Ole Miss the most likable SEC school there is? Name one person that's like super anti-Ole Miss that's not like a Mississippi fan.

They're unassuming. I think there's a problem. It's because they don't have a lot of success. And they kind of own it. Yeah, like, hey man, they looked pretty good last night. Yeah. More of that on Too Much Dip. A podcast for sports fans. By sports fans.

Actually, speaking of Too Much Dip, you know what we almost watched last night? 100 Foot Wave? Dirty Work. Oh, KJ watched it the other night. Dude, it was in play, and part of the reason was because I just had Norm MacDonald's voice stuck in my head. So I would absolutely hate Dirty Work. No, I had her watch the trailer, and she was laughing. What's Dirty Work?

Which one's Dirty Work? God damn it. It's starring Norm MacDonald. Dave needs to leave. Dave's pissed. He's going to go beat you up. Well, Dave walked off the set. That's the first time that's ever happened.

Dude, it's so Norm's finest work. It's already laying in it. What year are we talking, 90s? Probably late 90s. 99 maybe. I'm going to say 98 or 99. 98. Yeah.

Sorry, Dave. I don't know that one. Can we still be friends after today? Go on HBO Now and just go watch it. No, don't watch it. I don't want to hear. No offense. I don't want to hear you say it was just okay.

It's just going to piss me off. There's no way Dylan can work the HBO Now app, right? Ridiculous. I use HBO Now all the time. Ridiculous. I've seen so many tweets complaining about the HBO Now app lately. I'll be honest. It buffers unlike any other app.

It's so bad on my TV. I've got Google Fibes, and I feel like it's good internet. Dude's got Google Fibes. Dude, the Fibes are immaculate. Google Fibes. I've got good Fibes in there, and for whatever reason, I've got the Samsung TV, HBO Max, and it skips like none other. Dude, I have a feeling it might have to do with us running the HBO Now app or whatever it's called on the Samsung TV. Because if I pause and I unpause it, it takes about five seconds for it to start playing again.

I don't have the issue with the fast forwarding that everyone else has, though, because our remote does it in 10-second increments. So I don't have to, like, scroll around and figure it out. By the way, I still can't get Apple Plus on my Sony TV in my bedroom. So if I want to watch Lasso, I have to do it in the living room only. It's a real pain in the ass. What's the deal with that? Well, I can only watch Lasso in my living room.

I can't get Apple Plus or whatever it's called on my Sony TV. Get an Apple TV, dude. No. Why? Because I don't need it. I'm not watching TV on an Apple. I'm a grown man. This is so stupid.

I really don't even know what Apple TV does. It's funny because I've smoked weed out of an Apple. I have too. If you didn't, you didn't have a childhood. Better than the Coke can. How old were you smoking weed out of an Apple. I have too. If you didn't, you didn't have a childhood. Better than the Coke can. How old were you smoking weed out of an apple? I was eight.

No, I did it. I did it in high school. I think the first time I did it, I was like 20. It hits. Yeah, it tastes kind of good. Should we do it right now?

Do we have any apples? Do we have any weed? Yo, give it. That's the bigger question. No, we'll just smoke an early bird CBD gum and have an apple. If only we had a friend who had some weed from the Obama administration. Micah?

Well, okay. That's, yeah. This bar, Randy, have you ever taken your talents to Prism? P-R-Y-S-M. Just an insufferable spelling. P-R-Y-S. I wish it was P-R-Y-S-M. Just an insufferable spelling. P-R-Y-S-M. I wish it was P-R-Y-Z-M. They have a dress code and a velvet rope out front.

This one's short and sweet. All lowercase. Punctuation non-existent. Ready? Did Will write this? Prism. Won't even try to find a band-aid for my friend's foot. Damn.

How dare they? Okay. I don't blame them. One star. One star. How mad were they about this band-aid that they were like, I'm going on fucking Yelp right now. They're running a bar. This isn't a... Like, guy had a blister. Guy wore his new Sperry's and didn't break a bin. Yeah, the first

aid kit's in the bag. Go find... What are you talking about? This isn't a golf tournament. There's not a first aid station. You need something... It's a club. They they have bottle service they didn't supply suntan imagine asking the bottle service girl like she's like having a good time got the sparkler she's probably like flipping bottles bringing like what and like excuse me my my my buddy here has got a blister and it's it's bleeding yeah but what do you do what do you do if you have he's got a blister and they bring out like the the liquid things and they have a sparkler attached to it dude are you how much are you tipping that bottle service girl she does that

they bring they just bring out one single tiny band-aid and they've got like the everybody's storm storm trooper outfits that like just the dj's making a big deal they put the light on you my buddy's all birds rub rub the blister on his on his heel they don't let all birds in there it's driving loafers only yeah all right this next one's a little bit obscure but this is from boss bar you've been a boss bar randy's been to all these are you a douchebag randy this actually doesn't sound like that bad of a bar but this is this is this one tickled me will i'll tickle you i invited my attorney there for a few drinks and to play billiards and wanted to play music on the jukebox while one the way to do it all right well on the way to do it security

approached me and said no rap music or i'll get put out i was embarrassed and my attorney was very upset he put on a rap song even though we didn't was embarrassed and my attorney was very upset. He put on a rap song even though we didn't like it and left. SMH. Very upset with this treatment. I talked to the staff before I left and I felt as though they thought I was joking. This guy just wanted to bring his attorney out for a drink and some pool.

Why did he have to say his attorney? Why was this guy just flexing? You could have just said your butt. It's a flex. I like that the attorney is just a bad boy, though. He's like, I don't care. I'm putting on Hotline Bling. Hey, why is rap music on your jukebox if it's off limits? I always just say don't rock the jukebox.

Don't sock the jukebox. Okay. What are you doing, man? I'm not rocking the jukebox, that's for sure. My heart ain't ready. I'm going to play a little nine ball with this attorney. For the Rolling Stones. Red Solo Cup.

Dude, bad boy shit to put it on and then leave, though. That was a... Oh, you showed them. That was a move we've used to pull. If I know anything about bars and music, it's that you have to let the patrons choose so that they are feeling better about everything like don't have a jukebox if you don't want people choosing the music that goes on in the bar that's the whole idea behind a jukebox and not rocking them too okay would you stop um let me introduce the the merits of one bar called

deuces randy all too familiar with deuces i unfortunately think i've been at deuces the merits of one bar called Deuces. Randy? All too familiar with Deuces. I unfortunately think I've been to Deuces. Deuces. Did we go to any of these for the bar crawl? Benchmark. Benchmark, we did. We did go to Benchmark, that's right. Yeah, because I met Randy.

What's the big one that we started at? The open-air place? That was in Wrigleyville, right? Yeah, that place. I couldn't have gotten out of that place faster. Oh, yeah, Randy wasn't with us at that point. That was where I legit thought there was going to be five people there at the meetup. We didn't know.

And then it ended up being many, many more. It did start kind of slow, though. Well, that bar was packed. Yeah. They probably couldn't find us. You pretty much had to go to the Cubs game in order to want to go to that bar. That bar, there were 800 people, and it was shoulder to shoulder. Yeah.

So. Well, this is deuces. and this one's short and sweet. Their DJ sucked so bad that we left. Literally, no one was dancing, but they kept playing Garbage. Is there a band called Garbage? I don't think Garbage is that bad. Stupid Girl's not a bad song. Only Happy When It Rains had its day.

I'd be a little bummed if I went to a bar and they were just playing garbage. After stupid girl, I'd be like, so what's next? And then I'd be like, oh, we're still doing this. Is garbage capitalized in the- It's not. It's lowercase. I think he's referring to trash. Yeah.

The first bar we went to on the douchebag bar crawl was the Old Crow Smokehouse. Yes. Good call. They're the ones who had the medicine show out back, right? Yeah. Yep. So I don't think we hit all of these, but we had Old Crow Smokehouse,

Deuces and Diamond Club. Okay, so we did go to Deuces. I don't know if we actually went to Deuces, or I don't know if we went to Moe's Cantina, Lionhead Pub. Before Benchmark, or no, we went to Benchmark, and then Happy Camper Pizzeria,

then Concrete Cowboy, and then we never hit Bottle never hit bottle blonde that's a good graphic i crushed this graphic i just want i want to be crystal clear i fucking crushed let me see this there's like drop shadows in the mix i had i had a map that showed everyone exactly where we're going i absolutely i killed it we didn't make it to concrete right no i don't I don't think so. I think we should. After Happy Camper, I remember kind of going to another bar and being pretty done. Oh, after Happy Camper, we called an audible and went to that bar that Teddy recommended. That was fun. High Antiqui Bar.

It was super lit in there. Shout out to the listener who... Don't put them on blast. A friend of a friend may have put a bunch of her drinks on your tab. All of them, to be clear. And her friends all did, too. I bet that guy still listens. He does.

I know his name, but I don't want to call him. He does. I'm not going to do him like that. He took the L there. Let me just say this. We're closing with one that we did not get to. And judging by the reviews, this is the most egregious offender in every category of a bad ball review bottled blonde just this is pretty standard i think for bottle blonde in any big city

i've literally been invited this okay what i've literally been invited by my alderman to come to hearings supporting the city to shut this place down first of all we didn't know what an alderman was i think that's just a city council person had to look it up had to look it up there is a way you can look it up turns out i would never i would never have any intention to walk into this literal burning pile of garbage i stopped outside for two minutes however to possibly say hi to a friend that was inside a human piece of trash aka a bouncer that works, told me I needed to keep it moving on the public city sidewalk. I told him to fuck off.

Keep it moving. It's a public sidewalk, and I got a snarky comment back. I can imagine. I just ignored him. When another dude asked if we were waiting to get in, I told him I'd rather shoot myself in the face. And he was offended because he didn't say anything rude. Bro, your coworkers are trash enough to classify all of you as trash. You don't want to be known as trash?

Then don't work here. I look forward to them all being unemployed soon when the city shuts this sewer dump for an illegal operation down. That's about as bad as I've ever heard. Oh, one star. Holy shit. All right, now hold on. Let's see if they get better.

I told him to fuck off. This guy's just mean. Oh, here's a... No, this one might change your mind. Fuck off. This douchebag place finally shut down, and the crooked douchebags behind it only took five years. LOL, way to go, corrupt Chicago.

All right. Randy, have you been to Bottle Blonde? He's nodding furiously right now. All right. Here's a good one. I don't know what's so bad about it. Weren't you a waiter there that roller skated around? You were the Band-Aid guy.

Okay. Last one. This one, I think this is a one star. okay last one this one I think this is a one star I hope every bouncer that works there gets AIDS from the unsupervised conditions of this absolute shithole they hire guys whose penises are so small that they

take their frustration out on paying customers to compensate save your money and go elsewhere go anywhere else than this wannabe shithole I had a table and they treated me like I cucked their mom. Eat shit. Like I cucked their mom or cucked? Correct. Cucked.

Not cucked. No, no. They weren't having muscle problems on their back. Yeah, they weren't about to go try to qualify for Sochi. Does that shit actually work? I don't know. We're pivoting here. I think people do it just so they get asked about it, and it's like wow yeah do people in our gym do it no yeah i think they walk around the locker

room like yeah that's right i'm a cupper yeah i think people just do it just so they can talk about it shido did it once yeah i don't know i need to get his review he did it right before going on vacation and i told him it's a big flex to do it before going on vacation because you just know that everyone at the pool is like wow this guy this guy fucking works out. It's just a bunch of hickeys on your back. Yeah. That's a nice touch. Okay. Wow.

That's the sound it makes every time they do the cup. That's a nice touch. They just treated him like he cucked their mom. Eat shit. Exclamation. Let's not forget he wished AIDS upon them. True. Which is fairly aggressive.

Yeah, I don't do that to people. No. I don't want anybody to get AIDSides. That's not my style. Well, they hire guys whose penises are so small that they take all their frustration out on the paying customers. Do you think they make them show them their penises before they're hired? Probably not. They probably don't do that. Well, resume looks good.

Now just please show us your penis. All right. We made it through. If you don't feel comfortable taking off all your clothes, just pull your clothes as hard as you can towards your legs. An outline works. What are you doing? Penis outline. Your stencil?

Okay. Pencil stencil? Okay. Can we move on? Bad bar reviews. Oh, those are all one stars. That was fun. Hey, Dave, I don't want to speak for you here, but if anyone has any cities out there that have some exquisitely douchey bars i think you should reach out to dave

i'm the guy you're the douchebag bar guy huh i i'm the guy dave at washmedia.com not david all rights reserved do you not definitely not do you think you miss a douchebag bar crawl i agree i agree and billet adds that and hit the the douche spots yeah it's fun douchey spots are fun you just want me to make another graphic that's that's all i want um i have to say i've we've been doing this for a while and chicago's have these are the worst bar reviews i've ever seen. Chicago's got it. They've got the impactor. Straight up, people just don't like these bars.

Bottle Blonde in Chicago sounded like the worst place on earth. Dude, that's weird because I love this bar. I mean, after reading this, I'm glad they're shut down there. It sounds like it was not a good place. I love this bar. Shut it down. It's my kind of place. All right, since Dylan started singing, I think it's time that we talk about our friends over at 10,000.

Hey, guess what kind of shirt I'm wearing right now. Let me think. Is that a 10,000 shirt? It sure is, Will. Thank you for asking. This morning I woke up and I thought I'd take Rosie for a little walk. And what did I toss on? A pair of 10,000 shorts as well as a 10,000 long-sleeve shirt to stay out of the sun.

Sheesh. I absolutely love this stuff. They're great, man. pair of 10,000 shorts as well as a 10,000 long sleeve shirt to stay out of the sun. Sheesh. I absolutely love this stuff. They're great. These are 10,000. I'm not even reading the copy right now. When I got my package in the mail from 10,000, I put on the shorts and the waistband on the shorts that I got were unlike anything I've ever experienced before. It was almost like it wasn't even there, yet my shorts were staying up. I wore mine to the gym yesterday. like it wasn't even there yet my shorts were staying up i wore mine to the gym yesterday um i worked out in them and then i went to the pool in them didn't have to change the trunks because they work as both as they are quick drying linered shorts and they're so lit i love them i cannot say enough nice things about the session shorts. They're dialed in minimalism, Dylan. You think I don't know that?

Dude, they're so nice. Dylan, you train all the time in these things. Clearly. What? I clearly train all the time. You have the interval short, right? I believe I do. You know I've got the tacticals.

Keep it tactical. Do you get in and get out of them? They've got little hidden pockets and stuff. You can keep stuff. Dude, Will, you're on fire right now. Dude, thank you. I do wear them and then take them off, yes. 10,000 makes the highest quality, best fitting,

most comfortable training shorts I've ever worn. At the core of 10,000 are three core training shorts that are built for all the ways that you train. The interval short, which is versatile and great for HIIT workouts. H-I-I-T, I call them. Spinning, Metcons, short runs, or anything else you can think of.

The foundation shorts built for durability. Tough gym days. You don't know anything about those, do you, Dylan? Are you serious? I'll watch you coach through those workouts. Are you serious? They also have the session shorts. I actually own a pair of the session shorts as well. They're super lightweight, perfect for running, yoga, mobility, anything you need to do.

Anything you need to do. These guys are a direct-to-consumer company. No middlemen, which is obviously something we're big fans of. They've been cut out. So you get premium fabrics, trims, techniques that other brands simply cannot afford to do. They even have collaborative product development. A team of over 200 athletes tests their gear to ensure the perfect design,

fabric, trims, and fit. You can just pick the short that's best for your training and personalize it with custom liner and inseam options. Some people are out there and they're like, I don't want a liner. Well, guess what? You don't have to have one. I think you should give the liner a spin before you say no to liner. I think you should just order both. It's a good liner.

It is. Cannot say enough nice things about 10,000. These guys were some... When I saw that we were getting the sponsor, I reached out to a good friend of the pod, Shitto, and said, what should I get? And he told me what I should get, and he was very happy with what I chose,

but he was also very upset that we had this sponsor because he likes the product so much. 10,000 is offering our listeners 15% off of your purchase. Just go to 10,000.cc and enter code circling to get 15% off of your purchase. That is 10,000.cc and enter promo code circling. And yeah, you spell out 10,000. Don't just do a one with a bunch of zeros.

T-E-N-T-H-O-U-S-A-N-D.cc. Special shout out to Shido for getting mentioned, I think at least three times in this episode he's doing it big episode for the shit man yeah uh we've got a little something he's not the shit man don't call him the shit man oh yeah we've got something special dialed up for the people right now y'all ready for this let's go i got two minutes in paradise i promise people i'll do that one more time it's okay can i get out of the way i've got two minutes in paradise i promise people i'll do that one more time it's okay can i get out of the way i've got two minutes in paradise that was beautiful man it's just not the same i'm gonna i'm gonna get the audio from micah no come on man let me do it you don't even watch the show

we don't turn his mic even watch the show yeah should i mute dylan for the one the one time it's really good you're not even watching. Not even watching. So we used to, if you're a new listener, we used to recap all Bachelor franchise stuff over on Patreon. After some Bachelor fatigue, we decided to take a quick break from it for Bachelor in Paradise. And I will say we made a huge mistake.

We did. Don't get me wrong. Worst of is objectively better content than our Bachelor breakdowns. But like this season has been electric. And last night it all came to a head when Brendan and Piper decided to just derail the entire, I don't know, format of the show. Piper. That's the music they play when she enters. Piper.

I just met her. There's a guy on the Trash Pandas. His last name is Ditter. D-I-D-D-E-R. It's kind of funny. Dude, shout out to the Trash Pandas. Ditter. Who somehow missed the playoffs without the season being over.

We don't know. Are we even sure about that? They might have missed the playoffs. Can you even miss the playoffs by a half game? Yes. Yeah, of course. You missed it. No, but by a half game.

Like, don't you have to... Like, doesn't a half game mean that one team still needs to play another game? They need to play the rest of that game. Dude, I don't fucking know. I don't know either. I don't watch baseball. They had us in the first half. I'm not going to lie.

Two tickets to paradise. So, Dave and I have been watching this, I'd say religiously, like the night it comes out. We're watching it with commercials. Yeah. Look, I got nothing else going on. It's been an electric season thus far. Last night, so Brendan has been paired up with Natasha this entire time.

Natasha the entire season has had concerns that Brendan does not like her. Wait, there was a rumor early that was getting passed around that he had been seeing Piper before the show. And, you know, Brendan, everybody liked him from the Taysha season. Yeah, his stock was so high. He was very gentle, nice. Nice dude. Seemingly genuine.

Good-looking guy. And now it's come out as Piper enters and took him on a date. And they weren't even, like, really trying to hide it. They were on the daybed looking like a couple who's been together for years. They're just clout chasing. And let me just tell you, it is objectively bad what they're doing and how they're handling it. But as a viewer, it is delicious content. Correct.

So it essentially came out that when Piper came in, she just went straight to Brendan and was like, want to go on a date? And he accepted as if Natasha was washed away at sea. And they went on the date and he kind of was dancing around it the entire time, kind of indicating that he had been with natasha but he didn't really like her as much as he liked piper and then piper wasn't really grasping what was going on in fact i think she had concerns that like she had been dumped for natasha at this point he the way he was talking to piper it was like a reformed like a an old like wise guy who'd been just got out of prison 25 years later and was like talking to his son and he's like i did some things i had to do some things for the family but instead he's talking about like he had to do some things to he's telling piper this and by those things he means he had to

lead natasha on so he could get a rose and stick around for piper to get there he did everything in his power to say that he lied without actually saying, I just lied to them the entire time. He said, the way that I phrased some things might be weird for you. He was very, it was almost like he brought his attorney to a billiards bar. And then when he said that they weren't in an official relationship

or anything, Piper was just like, well, she looked at him like, well, we are an official relationship. Well, and he had, he got caught in a couple pretty egregious lies where he had told Natasha they hung out a couple times, and Piper informs everyone, no, we'd been on like 10 dates,

including her going to Boston to visit him. Beantown. Freaking racket, bro. Smokeshows. These two are shady, man. They're owning it. They're leaning into it. Dude, it went on to get to the point

where they're sitting on a daybed together talking about their followers and how they've done things to increase their following. So I've been thinking about this. This is a conversation you don't typically see because they don't air it because they know it just makes people look bad.

I think this conversation probably goes on a lot more on the show with a lot of people. I agree. And they just never show it because it's like, I'm not going to make them look like fame hungry. You know, everybody kind of knows it, but like at the same time,

it's like, we're not going to put it out there, but they completely aired them out with this conversation. It's a bad look. If the bachelor is just sitting there as a, as a way for people to get clout. I don't think the bachelor like wants to break down that wall. It's an unspoken thing.

The one thing that The Bachelor has always hung their hat on is that people find love and get engaged. That's the one thing that they require and that they want buy-in for. And they never talk about the social media aspect of it, even though that's why all these people do it. This is the first time I think we've ever seen them just straight up saying, like, no, I'm trying to get more followers.

I'm doing this. How did that work? Did they get more followers last night? So as of last night, Brendan at one point was very close to 350,000 followers. Brendan is currently at 312,000 followers. So he's had about 10% of his followership just go completely downhill. He and Piper, not only did they know they were doing this before the show started, they even put up preventative Instagrams last night saying his is just a really serial killer looking photo

that just says here for the wrong reasons as he sits in a pool. And it's got a bunch of people commenting on it. And what kind of grosses me out is that they have buy-in from their little friends within the Bachelor franchise. Give me some examples. Bennett. Okay. He said it was a mic drop moment. Okay.

Well, there you go. Queen Victoria just did a bunch of crying, laughing emojis. Serena C., I believe, said, so wrong it might be right. Eye emoji, eye emoji. Even on Piper's Instagram, where she did a very similar thing, she had her girl squad go through and put a bunch of positive comments on there to try to deflect.

And everyone's now responding, like Kit Keenan, our girl Kit, who we rock with Kit. Yes, took me a sec, but yeah. She had a little part, like she had a comment and everyone's like, Kit, just distance yourself from her right now. Like this is gross. This is weird behavior. i get supporting your friends but if if you did this

i'm probably not going to comment on your instagram trying to deflect oh that's bullshit i want i need i'm looking for some friends who will deflect i was trying to follow this and i thought maybe uh maybe the Joker was going down because he lost that first set, and then he just won the next three. So I was like, I was following this, and I had my lappy open, watching the tennis, and then I was on the next. Did you have Joker makeup on? I'm the Joker, baby. That's not how he talks.

I know. Man. That's sorry. Do you think they're going to leave the show? Because I sense a revolt on our hands. It looks like Riley's not real happy about it. If there's one guy you don't want angry at you in Paradise, it's Riley. Was Riley on Tayshia's season?

Yes. So they seemingly know each other. Well, at first he was supporting them a little bit. Yeah. And then it looks like in the preview for next week he completely turns. Would you be sad if you found out Riley was like 5'6"? No. Riley is a good guy at this point.

I think we can say he's an objectively good guy. Yeah. 5'6 or not. We stan our short kings. Look, as somebody who's flirting with 5'10, nothing but love. I kind of hope they get kicked off the show. People stink, man.

So tonight, there's an episode tonight. There is an episode tonight. Dylan, you got to start watching. Please just watch last night's episode and then catch up a little bit. Just the last two episodes. That's all you need to see. Dude, it's so good and juicy.

We've still got Kenny out here just bawling too. Kenny's out here just with his blazing love. I'm a big old Love Island UK right now. Kenny went on a date last night with Tia, returned home to talk to Mari, and Mari pretty much said, I still like you. And then Demi pulls him aside and offers to go to the Boom Boom Room with him. Dude, but Hugo and Tobes are so mad beefy right now in UK. Love Island.

It's enough for me right now. Don't, dude. And you're not even so far behind. You're forgetting, Will, that grocery store Joe's got like the ultimate dilemma. Oh, am I far behind? Because I've watched 29 episodes of this season. Yeah. Wait a minute.

Talk to me when you've watched all 49. Jeez. Hey, it sounds like he's binging it. Now Dave's a little perked up. Man, no. Now you've got my attention. Should I be binging this too? Is this a binge situation?

I'm looking for something to binge. I binge college football all weekend. Oh, yeah. Five days straight. Football. What? I have nothing else on this episode, but I thought we would be stupid not to talk about the absurdity that happened last night.

I've got all this Woodhouse chocolate sitting here. I know. I'm sitting here like, do I eat this now or do I wait? Doesn't it make you just want to get it? You know what you can do? Never going to get it. You can go shop online for other chocolate, Dave. We've all seen that promo code field taunt us at checkout,

but thanks to Honey, manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past. Honey is a free browser extension that scours the internet for promo codes and applies the best one it finds to your cart. It's one of my favorite sponsors, mainly because I used them before we had them as a sponsor. And secondly, because they save me money every single time I buy something online. They haven't saved me just a little bit of money. They've saved me hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars. They've probably saved me me at least a rent payment over the last year alone.

Damn. You know your boy be shopping. And your rent is... Just kidding. It's a million dollars a week. I know. It's a really expensive place. It's not great.

Plus you pay by the week, which is very weird. I know. It's $4 million a month. Imagine you're shopping at one of your favorite sites online and when you go to checkout, the Honey button drops down

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Oh, and it just finds one that's like a good deal, like you said, and it just keeps like, you know what, that might not be good enough. Let's keep looking. It's quick. Love it. It's quick. They've saved us money on pretty much everything at this point. I can't even give you like a starting point for what I've saved money on.

Dude, you can even save money on doing food orders. My food. Facts. I think food is good. Big facts. Big facts. They've even got 17 million members and $2 billion in savings.

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I know him as the Magic Bullet. Brett, how's it going? Hey, guys. How are we doing? You know, we're doing pretty good. We're riding the heater of an episode. Good episode so far? Yeah, we're handing you the rock. It's hot. Let me tell you, this rock's hot, man. Dave, you're going to like what you're seeing. So you're going to overcook your own meat?

In terms of the... Brett's breaking news today. Thank you, KJ, for filling in for me. I don't remember exactly what his was called, but it was similar, I think. BBN. Right. It was big breaking news.

That's Kentucky's thing, right? Big Blue Network or something? Big Blue Nation. Yeah, whatever. Is it? I think so. Cats by 90. Remember that T-shirt?

You're more of a BBW guy. Is it a wrestling conglomerate? No. Okay. Would you like to go? guy is that a wrestling conglomerate no okay would you like to go there's too many wrestling conglomerates i can't follow no would you like to go uh niche dallas entertainment russian collusion sounds like what dave does or meet smugglers only wow like this entire segment is somehow directed at me. Yeah. I'm going to step back and let somebody else choose

because these are definitely not for me. Let's start with meat smugglers only. Meat smugglers only. Randy, could you help me out? We've all been there. We've all been there. This is 350 pounds of contraband meat confiscated at the Texas-Mexico border, Dave.

They've got the meats. This man tried to come over from Mexico and brought 320 pounds of port bologna and 30 pounds of turkey ham hidden in his vehicle to try to resell in the United States. What kind of market is there for second-hand ham? A 20-year-old El Paso resident

presented himself at the border for inspection. He went over to get some meat from across the border, tried to bring it back. That's what happened here. The man has been issued a $1,000 civil penalty, was released, and they seized and destroyed the meats.

Destroyed the meats? The stew's moving weight. Why you gotta destroy the meats? This dude's moving weight. Why you got to destroy the meats? Give it away. You know they were walking around the precinct just tossing out meats. Bring it to a homeless community or something, man. Oh! Hey, Lewis, want some meat?

They said it's meat. Is that your generic cop voice? It's me, cop guy, smoking a cig over there, working in my cubicle. You got some meat. We confiscated it. Hey, this case has gone cold. 21 working in my cubicle. You got some meat. We confiscated it. Hey, this case has gone cold. Just like this meat. Cold guts.

Hey, call it El Paso. Cool Adam laugh. The bologna and two rolls of turkey ham were concealed under blankets, under seats, in the car's center console, and inside a duffel bag. You ever hidden meat inside of a blanket? I can't say I've ever hidden meat, Dave. What is turkey ham? They destroyed it? I feel like they didn't have to destroy it.

Unless they assumed it wasn't safe. Do you think they, where are they keeping it? Like in a Yeti? Who? The El Paso resident? They hide it in the car, man. Okay. I'm trying to think how they kept it cool.

Do you think it was kept at the right temperature for meat? No, they were warming it up so that it didn't have E. coli or salmonella. That's true. You can't have... Bologna can just kind of be stored wherever, right? Hard to say. I don't know if it can. You ever had a fried bologna?

Nope. I don't think I've had much bologna in my life, period. Oh, wow. Look at this guy. Unless it's been at a high-end bread. I remember at a very young age, my mom would make bologna sandwiches with ketchup on them. I was probably slapped. They were pretty mid.

I used to, yeah, do bologna and, like, Kraft American cheese, like the cheap cheese slices, sandwiches, all the time. I bet one would taste really good right now, but I'd probably only want that one. Yeah. Then I'm good for the next 20 years again. Right. Yeah. But there was a time when it went for your boy.

Dylan, you know Dallas, right? My ex-wife? No, just Dallas, Texas. Oh, I've been there, yeah. Rainey, can you help me out? This is the newest in Dallas, Texas entertainment. The Rory McIlroy-funded puttery. Okay.

That bar looks lit. Eating, drinking, or they call it noshing on the website, Will. Is that a- The one we were talking about nosh the other day? Nosh. I need nosh. Two of them. Wait, remind me what noshing is again.

I don't know. It's food. Eating food. Eating food. Nosh is food, so if you're noshing. Oh. Nosh. You questioned me. I need nosh. Two of them. Wait, remind me what noshing is again. I don't know. It's food. Eating food. Eating food. Nosh is food, so if you're noshing. Oh. Noshing. Okay.

This looks really cool. I'll say it. It is the colony's newest entertainment. Oh, God. Can't we just not? Sorry. 20,000 square feet, four unique nine-hole courses. You can see the lodge over there top right.

Wait, they got 36 holes here? Yeah. That's too many. And they're all themed. One's the library. One's the illusion room. The illusion room is tripping me out hard right now. That's hard to play in for sure.

Hey, guess what? Give me this over Topgolf any day. Totally agree. Couldn't agree more, actually. It's more of just a casual, fun scene. I'm so in. Dude, I'm in on this. And you're not just stationed at the same spot the whole time.

You get to move around a little bit, mix it up with the boys. And a vine star is not stealing your food. A vine star is not just confiscating wings right from your face. I would love to beat the piss out of him. Dude, he alpha'd the shit out of us. He's pretty big. Actually, I don't know if he is or not. Will could take him.

He's got hate in his heart for him. Can I use the pipe that I was going to use to beat you up with? Sure. Don't beat him with a pipe. Yeah, he'll go to prison. Trey Kennedy. Unless it's justified, like Landry's. I can't believe I'm going to beat Trey Kennedy up at puttery.

Yeah. When he rolls in. He's going to feel a golf ball hit the back of his head. Our listeners should start to add him like hey this is fun his cousin listens really yeah shit shouts to trey kennedy's cousin and we're not really gonna hurt trey we like trey yeah we if he wants to like feature us in a video and stuff yeah then we'll like it'll all be water under the bridge at that yeah maybe just like retweet the patreon or something like you know yeah we. We can work something out. Or just give us a bunch of money.

Yeah. Sure. Does he want to buy Washed Media? I don't want to work for Trey Kennedy. Fair. His moral compass is totally off. He just shows up and steals our Woodhouse chocolate. Like, dude, this is a gift.

The chocolate was a gift, Trey. Let me say, this is great, and I know I'd love to go here, but it's in the colony, and I'll never go there. Where is the colony? It's just out of the way. It's not near. It's not Dallas proper. It's not even near Dallas proper.

I mean, it's probably a 20, 25-minute drive out of Dallas. It's a suburb, but it's an area that's really blossomed over the last few years. You know, I wish we had this here. Well, Houston, Miami, Charlotte, and D.C. are next. Thank you to Rory McIlroy for that one. Should we just build our own? Cockrory? It's a good name, too.

The puttery? Rory Cockrory. Dave, there's a Russian collusion story that popped up. I want to get it in front of you. Okay. The director

of Roscosmos, which is their space program, Dimitri Rogozin. I know him well. Has invited Elon Musk to his house. Presumably to talk

about space stuff. Okay. Normal invite. Hope he's got some pizza he said the uh ross cosmos has plateaued and stagnated after the fall of the soviet union and elon musk has ideas on human space flight and uh generally the advancement of the human race that he wants to talk to him about. Okay. So what are we saying here? Are we mad at Elon for going? SpaceX has declined to comment on the story.

Interesting. Is it possible that because I didn't know who the guys that Elon was with, could they have been Russian space guys? Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, they were literally wearing spacesuits. I thought that was weird. I thought they were just fans of MTV Music Video Awards. I thought they were literally wearing spacesuits. I thought that was weird. I thought they were just fans of MTV Music Video Awards. I thought they were the moon men.

Yeah. The theory is that Elon is going to use Russian rockets to get to Mars versus like a NASA one or his own. He's got the Dragon ones. Just saying. Just saying. There's more to this story than meets the eye. Elon is just always up to something, man.

You know? Is he still trying to tank our Bitcoin? What's his deal with that? I think he tanked it, bought a bunch, and now he's pumping it again. He's going to tank it again. As long as he's pumping again, I'm fine with that. I don't know if that's true or not. I'll ask him next time I see him out in the back.

He was the one who tanked SafeMoon, right? That's too bad. I don't know what you're talking about. Anyway, that's it. I'm interested in that. I'm going to read that story. I don't know. That seems like a trap.

There's a lot there. I'm thinking you should go. Yeah, they're going to take Elon? I've seen what they do to oligarchs over there. Are we worried they're just stealing Elon from us? That's like, you live here now. This is my Russian. I'm Dimitri, you live here now. This is my Russia. I'm Dimitri.

You live with me. This guy Dimitri was saying. Here's some Capistrano Bologna. Yeah, he was saying that in Russia, billionaires like to spend money on yachts, where in America they spend money on going to space. And he's like, that's kind of dope. We should do that more often. No, I will say that buying yachts is way tighter than going to space.

If you give me a space yacht. It's not even close. Oh, a space yacht. Aren't space yachts is way tighter than going to space. If you give me a space yacht. It's not even close. Oh, a space yacht. Aren't space yachts just spaceships? This one has a pool. Dude, that Bezos trip to space was super. Can you imagine being on a space yacht with Dua Lipa there? They barely touch space.

Isn't that what the. Reach out and touch space. Oh, my God. Why did you guys do it at the same time? Because we have the same brain now. See, since we've sat over on this side, we're just on a different wave than everybody else. We're different. It's my guy.

This is super annoying. Do you feel like Andy Samberg and this is a reference that you won't even get? I'm going to stop. Thank you. Thank you for stopping. Interesting. Well, that was good breaking news. That was good breaking news, Brett.

Yep. Shouts to the that was good breaking news. That was good breaking news, Brett. Yeah. Shouts to the guy who tried to get... I don't know what the resale meat market is like in the United States, but good try. Presumably, I would have thought they would fill with cocaine, and that would make more sense. Cocaine would be cool. Cocaine. Yeah, we call it cocaine. Is that the Trash Pandas?

Dude, I've gone like... No, I've gone like a fifth to space. Like, he didn't go that much farther than I did. You know what I mean? They didn't go to space. That's so stupid. Jeff Spazos needs to give up his nickname. Oh, we left the atmosphere and we're right back in it.

So what does that even mean? Don't even care. What does that mean? He left the atmosphere? Okay. Like the barriers. Like a barrier or some shit, right? He didn't even have drops of Jupiter in his hair.

Why would they have barriers up there? We should probably wrap this up. Hey. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.