Circling Back - Christmas Party Predictions & Cheesecake Factory

Episode Date: December 15, 2021

Feral hogs have returned. Cheesecake Factory is no longer a safe space. Kevin James is now Sean Payton. Dave? Yeah, he had a Tuesday. And yes, we made some predictions about this Friday's company Christmas Party. Enjoy. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Purchase a Circling Back Candle: www.vellabox.com/circling-back Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (12:00) Feral Hogs Are Having Another Moment (24:30) Cheesecake Factory Sit-In (34:41) Kevin James As Sean Payton (48:20) Dave Had a Tuesday (58:30) Christmas Party Predictions Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (STEAM for 20% off) Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (STEAM) Hawthorne: www.hawthorne.co (CIRCLINGBACK for 10% off) Coinbase: www.coinbase.com/steam ($10 in BTC!) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back. Circling Back podcast presented by Rowback, where you can get 20% off your first order using code BACKER20. My name's Will DeFreeze. To my left, David Ruff. TMZ's having an off day. I'm just going to straight up say it. This is the second episode in a row that you have mentioned TMZ while the beat is riding and I'm not able to do the TMZ.

You just need to time it to where it blends perfectly. With my mouth. Do it again. That wasn't that good. What are you talking about? You play it. Play the real one compared to what I just needed time to where it blends perfectly. With my mouth. Do it again. Do-do-doosh. That wasn't that good. You fucking crushed that. I fucking... What are you talking about? You crushed that.

Play the real one compared to what I just did. No, I can't. There's other stuff playing, and I don't want to, like, overwhelm people's earbuds. God. I thought you were, like, an elite producer. I am. At least you're not. That's...

What makes me elite is the fact that I'm not trying to play too much all at once. I just... Sometimes the people want too much. Hey, what's up? Yeah, only when it comes to dip i've been um i've been checking twitter just following these uh these recruits and what they're gonna do with their college of choice it's just crazy man happy national signing day to all who observe um i have signed where are you going the ringer oh yeah oh yeah i should have told you not on the pod but yeah i'm

going to the ringer you get some nil money no i got that simmons money they get yeah i don't blame you then it's pretty good they offered me a nice a nice role they're pretty cush gig um we're gonna revamp post-grad problems it's pretty cool pretty cool deal very cool yeah very cool this is huge news yeah it's kind of a transfer portal thing how tall do you think bill simmons is six four five eight no he's definitely got five ten vibes dude his his vibe could not be more different than what google says he is his vibe is like way shorter he says he's six one he's taller than me. Well, when you have Bill Simmons money, you can make it say whatever you want. He probably had noticed somebody who

does the SEO there. I'm kind of embarrassed that at one point in my life, I thought being Bill Simmons would be the pinnacle of life. Yeah, I don't know if I would have said that. When he was the sports guy and he was just doing his mailbags and stuff like that, I was like, man, being Bill Simmons would be the ultimate. Now he's just the only guy to take billionaires to task. It's true. He's not afraid to tell them. Like, hey, man, go build your own stadium, you billionaire, you.

I respect his grind. I respect what he's done. I just don't like him. But? I just don't like him. We got Dylan Chivary in the building. Thank you. Gosh, it's about freaking time.

Where are you going? I get no respect. Yeah, yeah. Who was recruiting you first in four months? What if I told you the number one player in the country is going to Jackson State? How crazy is that? Running back. He flipped from Florida State to Jackson State.

Where are you going? Yeah, we're not talking about actual recruits. Where are you going? Oh, I don't know, David. I might just stay here at Wash Media, man. Can you just think of another outlet and say it? Absolutely not. I'm a lifer. I'm a lifer. I'm going to E-Bombs World. That's a good answer. Dude, E-Bombs World is

tight. Dude, they've been courting me hella hard lately, and so I think I'm going to go there. They do the bag at you? Yeah. I'm making $10,000 a year. I don't want to reference any of those similar sites from like 15, 20 years ago because I'm afraid that some of their content hasn't aged well. So I'm just going to withhold from this trip down memory lane. They're bringing Will there to clean up their image a little bit.

Yeah. They're still around. Yeah, they posted 22 hours ago. They're bringing Will there to clean up their image a little bit. Yeah. They're still around. Yeah, they posted 22 hours ago. They're soft. So I have a... Dude, their headlines are so bad right now. They sold out to like an aggregator, and now they're just desperate for clicks.

One of the top things on their site right now is just 22 things that are really awesome. That is so cool. So they tried to become the chive. 21 clever comments from real smart asses. That's BuzzFeed shit. Hey, sarcasm is like a second language to me. I'm fluent in sarcasm.

20 declassified government secrets we think you should know about. You see they're releasing some JFK information later today, David? Oh, you're sarcastic. I can't wait to date you. That sounds awesome. In nine minutes, they're releasing a. I can't wait to date you. That sounds awesome. In nine minutes they're releasing a ton of information regarding the JFK assassination. Not only am I fluent in sarcasm, I love

tacos and queso. So I'm kind of a catch. And wine. You do love red wine. That is true. Hey, just real quick. I'll look at it, Will. Thank you. Just real quick. It's probably heavily redacted. Oh, trust me. No, they actually said that this was supposed to happen earlier,

but the pandemic slowed down the redaction process. Yeah, I get that. You got to block out all the names of the guilty. Cuban exiles and mafiosos. I have cold brew in front of me. Cold brew? Why is he doing that? It's in a clear cup.

I was wondering if you guys could, for those not watching on video, describe the color of this cold brew. Creamy? Come on, be honest. Yeah, are you drinking a glass of milk right now? This is blacker than the Johnny Trash shirts that Will wears, all right? I'm wearing a black shirt. You got a problem?

Yeah, but he's the Johnny Trash guy. I think I have to recycle a heavy amount of my black shirts. I've been seeing some deodorant stains. Oh, that's the worst. Yeah, so I think I need to put some into retirement. And I'm officially a free agent. The company that I've been buying them from, the quality's gone downhill. So if anyone's got some absolutely torch thick plain black tees, I'm all ears.

Please slide into my DMs. At Will DeFreeze on the Grum. I'm a plain white tees guy. Really? Hey there, Delilah. It's a bop. I can see Bill Simmons being like, actually, their deeper cuts are actually really good.

That does sound like something he would say. I was more of a white tee guy, just a tall white tee. Yup. Tall tees are tight., just a tall white tea. Yup. Tall teas are tight. I like unsweetened tea. What are you drinking over there? This is cold brew, nitro cold brew, and it's just straight gas. Is that from the Bucks?

No. The Bucks? Starbucks. No. I thought you were talking Buc-ee's. It's not a Starbucks cup, David. Where is it from? It's from the gas station by our old studio.

The Valero? Yeah. What were you doing over there? Do I even want to know? I'm embarrassed that I didn't know that's where it was from. That's exactly the cup they have there. I dropped my son off at school, if that's okay with you. That is okay with me.

Yeah, he lives, or he doesn't live. He goes to school in the area. Does he have an apartment that you have to shuttle him from? He's got a crash pad. I layered him up and sent his ass off to school. It's 70 degrees when I woke up this morning. Just revoltingly muggy. I hate it.

I tried to talk him into shorts today. He wasn't having it. This is the reason that I don't like spending Christmas in Austin, Texas. Okay. I like living here. I hate Christmas here. I want a white Christmas. It's always so warm.

I know. It's the worst. I know Christmas here. I want a white Christmas. It's always so warm. I know. It's the worst. I know. Have you ever had a white Christmas? Do you even know what that feels like to wake up and see just a blanket of snow on the ground? Not in Austin. I sure haven't. We probably had a sleet Christmas in Dallas at some point.

That sounds sick. All I want for Christmas is sleet. Remember that snowstorm we had earlier this year? Yeah. Yeah, the one that killed multiple people and put a lot of people into a financial crisis. Yeah. No, but it's cool, though. All the hard-hows from New York were like, we do this all the time.

Yeah, you do. That's why you're better prepared for it. You also have power when that happens. Well, I need to invest in running water. I saw a TikTok where Abbott said that he increased the grid by 15%, so we shouldn't have to worry about that this year. I've heard that whatever bill they passed did not address the vital issues. This is per a professor at the University of Houston.

U of H. U of H. Dylan, didn't you say you're getting recruited by the U of H? You were saying it wasn't Houston. It was University of Horny. That's what you're going for. There's no such university. What's a curriculum like that?

Weren't you saying that you were going to play tailback? How do you get graded in that? I'm not going there to play school, that's for sure. University of Horny. Will's being recruited as a wide receiver. Yeah. I'll get in those trenches, baby. I was a walk-on.

Receivers don't get in the trenches. They had me as a walk-on tight end. Right. They said I'm one of the best slot receivers in the country. What are you doing? Should we get some announcements out of the way? Because we have an absolutely stacked episode today. I'm very excited about some of these topics.

First and foremost, we're doing Circling Bachelorette, the penultimate episode. Right after this, patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast, hometown, or not hometowns last night, fantasy suites. The best episode of the season. Traditionally, I'm saying. Last night's was good. This was a major upgrade from the episode before, and I think we're set up for success. Also, we're doing voicemails.

You can get your voicemails in. 888-618-4422. Again, 888-618-4422. Get in and get out. Be tactical. Go rate and review the pod. We got some good reviews last week. I'm sorry I didn't read them on Monday.

I'm going to start reading more reviews in the new year. I'm going to take the rest of the year off, though. I'm kind of in mail-in mode, coasting. Wow. My head's still in the game for those wondering. Still here. Even amidst this wild move I'm doing, I'm still here. I'm grinding.

It's all of it, man. I'm glad your head's in the game. You've been having some really nice hair lately. Is it because you've been using Hawthorne shampoo and body wash? Thanks for noticing. Straight up, I use Hawthorne every day. That's just big-time facts. I have an ungodly amount of Hawthorne at my house. I don't even know if their cologne is part of the copy.

I don't either. We're about to find out, though. I have to stop wearing it because beige is getting really aggressive when I put that stuff on. You've been wearing it before dirty bills all the time. Your hair and skin are unique, but finding men's personal care products that work for you can be like searching for a needle in a haystack. And we all know that's nearly impossible. With Hawthorne, all you have to do is take a short quiz to look, feel, and smell your best. Hawthorne is a premium grooming brand that tailors to your personal care routine for your unique profile.

First, all you have to do is take their quiz. They ask you a bunch of questions. They ask you about your skin type, your hair type, your routine. They even ask you what kind of cocktails you enjoy. They've got some personal questions on there, and they'll tailor everything directly to you. I'm not going to lie. I like taking these personal quizzes.

It allows me a little time to self-assess. I heard Dave failed his. Is that true? Really? No, I got it incomplete. Okay. You didn't finish the quiz. My internet timed out.

Oh. The quiz is fun, man. It's like lifestyle stuff, you know? Yeah. They even ask you stuff like, I don't know, what do you drink? You a wine guy? Whiskey guy? It's fun.

You could be a whiskey girl as well. Ask you what your hair is like. Maybe you need like a thickening shampoo, is what i have oh okay yeah is your hair not thick two c's i'm getting it thicker at the end of the day your boy got the essentials bundle which is exactly what i needed it's got all these products that are tailored to my body type and my lifestyle the shampoo the body wash i even got some uh aluminum free deodorant we out here damn yeah these armpits no aluminum in these things. Hell no. I don't put metal under my arms. You're out of here,

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self-care routine by going to hawthorne.co and use promo code circling back to get 10% off your first purchase. That's H-A-W-T-H-O-R-N-E.CO. Promo code circling back. Hawthorne.co. Promo code circling back. I think we all knew we were going to lead with this story today. It's something that's been in the news for the last 24 hours. There's been some wild video that came out. I don't know if that was from Southlake, Texas or where, but the feral hogs are officially back. Is that happening in Southlake? They're mobbing in Southlake right now, unless I'm

mistaken. I think Dave's the go-to hog guy. This is Fort Bend County. This is outside of Houston. Oh, okay. Sugarlands and Fort Bend, I reckon. Among other places. Are they just wreaking havoc right now? Sugarlands in Fort Bend, I reckon. Among other places. Don't ask me. You want me to just go through all the towns in Fort Bend County? Are they just wreaking havoc right now?

Needville. Fairchilds. Greatwood. Richmond. Pecan Grove. Pecan Grove. Cinco Ranch. That means five.

Are there five ranches there? Missouri City. Weirdly named. How many? What would the name of your ranch be? Like the Lazy D? Like the Lazy D? Why the Lazy D? Come on down to Lazy D.

I don't think I'd go with Lazy D. Dirty Dills. That's what a lot of people are calling Dirty Bills. That's not true. Well, I just keep getting dragged there. I don't know why. You got to stop going there, dude. You dragged me there, and I don't even think I had a drink.

Even going once a month at our age is enough. You've been going multiple weekends in a row. It's never my decision to go whenever I'm going. When you walk in there, and it's past 10 o'clock, and everyone has already taken their places, and they're already standing up dancing, and it's already crowded, you just turn around and walk out because you're never going to get through. And if you do, you're never going to get back. If you go there past 10 o'clock, you're confined to that front

little area because you, unless you just want to like bull your way through. And I don't, I, my days of bullying through a crowd, I hope are behind me. What if you got 30 to 50 of your boys with you? They probably, that your boys with you? That's different. Yeah, that's probably a fire code violation. What if you were just going up to Dirty Bill's and there were just 50 hogs waiting outside, waiting to get in, just drinking some Shiner Cheers? I'd probably pick a different one.

Well, it was kind of a sausage fest. How many Shiner Cheers can a hog take down in one sitting? Pretty good, Dave. That was good. Hey. It's good. Hey. This guy's got jokes for days.

Hold on. Will was asking a very. Hey. This guy's got jokes for days. Hold on. Will was asking a very important question. Go ahead, Will. How many Shiner Cheers can one feral hog drink in one sitting? Bottle included because they eat the bottle. Not one. Maybe that's how we kill all these feral hogs. Maybe we give them Shiner Cheer.

They eat the bottle. The bottle breaks up all their insides and they die. I mean, there might be a little dust on the bottle, but don't let it fool you about what's inside. There might be a little dust on the bottle. No, they can digest glass, I'm pretty sure. They eat everything, man. Is it a bad take that that's one of my all-time favorite country songs?

Yeah. No, I think a lot of people... That's pretty poor. I love it. That song stinks out loud. No, it doesn't. Yes, it does. No, it doesn't.

It's so classic. It's so classic. It song stinks out loud. No, it doesn't. No, it doesn't. It's so classic. It's so classic. It sucks. You suck. You suck, dude. Thank you. Do we know what kind of havoc they're wreaking, or are they just mobbing in the neighborhood?

Well, it looks like this video is a fairly affluent neighborhood, or at least the yard looks nice. What language? Hog. affluent neighborhood or at least the yard looks nice what language um hog they are some of the most guttural sounds you'll ever hear as me as an outdoorsman who deals with hogs often like you know that sound wait before you even see the hog you're like oh that's a hog i know dylan don't look at me like that you know i know a good hog when i've seen it you do know you do know your way around a good hog dave that's true they eat everything they just tear up the grass have you ever seen like what a hog does to like your local golf course you're just like

well well this is ruined it looks like somebody got like went out there in their toyota tundra and just burned out do you know what they call these? Do you know what a gaggle of hogs is? Like a group? Squad? It's called a sounder. I was trying to make a Dave dorm room joke there. It's called a sounder. It's a herd of wild swine.

You're going to say a wet biscuit? That's fucking gross, you sicko. What are you, a sicko? Meme. We always called it ooky cookie, not wet biscuit. We didn't even talk about that. What are you guys talking about? I don't even know what you guys are talking about.

Ooky cookie reeks of baseball locker room. That was a frat thing. TFM. Nobody really did it. No, of course not. You know what, though? If someone's thought of it, someone's done it. I've heard soggy biscuit more than wet biscuit.

None of them should be Googled, much like the video that we referenced a couple weeks ago. Don't look that up. Don't look that up. Or the bendy tweet. That's the one I meant. Don't look up the bendy tweet. No, don't look up the bendy tweet. That's a fun one for the kid.

Don't look up the bendy tweet. Don't. If you do it, do it in the privacy of your own home. You have to admit, that guy was super bendy. Facts. I still am not 100% what that means. Who's bending? This is insane.

This actually happened in Fort Bendy County. Okay, here's what I don't understand. Here's what I don't get about the feral hog thing. What don't you get? The guy who originally said that he had 30 to 50 in his backyard, he lived in the country, and he like, I understand why there would be hogs out there. How do these hogs get to these neighborhoods?

Dude, because they are everywhere. Do they burrow? And a lot of these neighborhoods- They are. They're very overpopulated. Does it say what town this is? We know Fort Bend County, but there's some rural areas outside of Houston. I said this on Twitter, but a lot of people owe the 30 to 50 feral hog guy an apology.

They do. Yeah. He was dragged for a bunch of city folk were like, oh, yeah. It was Isbell. It was Jason Isbell who started it with like a quote tweet. Oh, yeah, that's right. He performed recently in Austin. I was very surprised you did not attend that show, David.

We saw him a couple years ago. Not saying he's not good. With the baby, you know how it is. Now that I have a baby, I just go to concerts alone. It's really sad when I leave halfway through because I'm bored. Did you do that?

No, I didn't leave halfway through the Widespread Panic concert, but I definitely skipped the encore. Get out of there quicker. At this point but I definitely skip the Encore. Eh. Get out of there quicker. At this point, I'm skip the Encore years old. Depends on the band, but yeah.

Yeah, like, unless I'm like absolutely, you know, ecstatic to be there, I'm probably skipping the Encore most of the time these days. Also depends on my exit strategy. Like,

is this going to be a Circuit of Americas thing where I'm going to have to wait for an Uber for two hours? Or, can I just walk down the road? Not important. Let's talk hog.

They said earlier this year, the commissioner of the Texas Department of Agriculture announced Texans could begin purchasing hog birth control called Hog Stop. It's one of the latest statewide efforts to help farmers and ranchers regain control of their property from feral hogs. How do you give them birth control? Do you have to give it to them every day? Shut up. Come here.

They put the IUD up there. You're going to give the hog an IUD? I don't think that's what they do at all. No, they probably throw some shit in corn and set it out. That's what I would think. Why is it up to us To administer this stuff To these feral hogs These little fuckers are a problem

They're everywhere The videos coming out of Houston are like I mean it's just like 50 of these dudes rolling down the street Any of these fuckers ever bust through the gate And just tear it up The answer is yes They do Tannerite will

What about it Some people use lure hogs The answer is yes. Yeah, they do. Tannerite, Will. What about it? Some people use lure hogs with a feeder of some sort and make them explode with Tannerite. You know what Tannerite is, Will? You've probably heard it. If you ever hear a random explosion off in the distance, it's some dude just blowing shit up with Tannerite. Was he in your pledge class?-huh uh yeah but we we kicked him out he stopped showing up to house cleanup and shit he called him t-bone for a

little bit really yeah he was a good dude he slept with one of the active's girlfriends too that's a big no-no i grew up with a guy named tanner he was the first he was the first one to get gta and he was the first one to show me that you could kill prostitutes and take their money and stuff. Such a Tanner move. Dude, total Tanner move. Classic Tan. Fucking Tan dog. T-man. Alright, for Christmas,

all I want for Christmas this year is a lifetime supply of Hogstop, the birth control for hogs. Hogstop. Who came up with that? They're sitting around a conference room table at the Department of Agriculture, and they're like, all right, what do we call this thing to stop the hogs?

It's a good name. You want a little insight on hog stop? I do. Oh, they've got a nice website. Yeah, why do they have Pumba on the homepage? It's a one-stop answer to your feral hog problem, Dylan. With their patent-pending bait, they're able to offer a non-kill,

low-environmental impact solution. Step one, purchase Hogstop. Okay. No. Not doing it. You gotta send that to all the farmers and all the people out there with hog problems. Oh yeah, you gotta put it in the feeder. Yeah, you can't expect us to go buy it. You gotta send this to us. But what if the deer eat it?

We don't want that. We don't want an environmental catastrophe on our hands. Anyway. You pose with the deer that you killed using hog stop? That's so dumb. Wait, how do they give it to them? They boof it, actually. They eat it.

They boof it. They walk up. You walk up to it and say, hey, don't just stare at it. Eat it. The hog stop, that is. Eat that hog stop, you. The hog's like, hey, hey, whoa, whoa, whoa. You want me to eat this hog stop?

This doesn't make a lot of sense for me, right? Hog stop sounds... Why are you doing Tim Robinson right now? I don't know. You dropped a don't just look at it, eat it reference probably a month or two ago. Is that Boogie Nights? What is that? No, it's American Psycho.

And people started calling Dylan and I out for it going over our heads, and I just wanted to respond and be like, you know what? That line gets thrown around so often that I'm numb to it at this point. So Will's calling me a cliche joke teller. No, no, no. But I feel like we're at the point where a don't just look at it, eat it thing is not a stop, pause, acknowledge. I wish you would have belly laughed.

I remember the Boogie Nights line that I confused it with. Is it the end when you see Mark Wahlberg's fake hog? No, he says, he walks up to a young lady and pulls his pants down and he said, feast on this or something like that. You shouldn't do that. That's very inappropriate. Was this in a movie though? Yeah. Like literally in a movie within the movie?

It was a movie within a movie, yeah. Okay, then that's a little bit different than just walking up. Say it again. What is it, Zisa? Feast on this. Thank you. I don't know what he's referring to exactly. Maybe he had, like, a sandwich in his hand or something. I'm not sure. Randy's so close to picking up his pen right now. He is so

close to picking up his pen and marking this down. I'll do it. Maybe he just had, like, a handful of hog stop. 22 minutes. on this. Perfect. Wow. Really good work there. You know, I prefer the old school way of getting rid of hogs.

And that's just flying around in a helicopter and just blasting them. These fuckers. Facts. That's what I like to do. You've never done it. How do you know? It does look fun. It looks sketchy.

It's messed up. I don't want to... I try to limit my exposure to helicopters. Oh, I'm... My goal is to never get on a helicopter. Ever.

Would you do the Grand Canyon helicopter tour? Did you not hear what I just said? Would you do it? Absolutely ever. Would you do the Grand Canyon helicopter tour? Did you not hear what I just said? Would you do it? Absolutely not. If you were on vacation with the fam? No, absolutely not. What if Parks wanted to do it?

He could go without me. Was watching Narcos last night, had a thought. And this is a compliment because I love this character. Parks looks, Parks almost looks like Narcos' version of El Chapo. The face. He's not as portly, obviously. Parks is in good shape, but he has the hair and face. He looks like mini El Chapo.

Actually, I can see this. I can see this. I'm going to look this up. I can see this. He might grow up to be this El Chapo kind. By the way, as I was telling y'all, the season's been good. Watch it if you're a Narcos guy or gal.

Okay, a little bit. I see it. I think it's in my top five shows currently going right now, along with Succession, and the fact that I haven't started season three is beyond me. I need to get it done. El Chapo's a bad dude, man. I will finish it by January

1st. Can we talk about Cheesecake Factory real quick? Are we done with the hogs? I think hogs are done. Dylan, you know everything else on the hogs? I'm all hogged out, man. Cheesecake Factory's having a bit

of an issue. What? Did they expand their menu? No, that's physically impossible. There's not enough paper in the world to expand that menu. They had to hire Gutenberg to print them more. They've got to chill at the menu. There's no way they can do that many things well. You don't like a place where you can get some gumbo

and then maybe a flatbread pizza at the same time oh and also like a glam burger and also like uh like sesame chicken a little something for everybody yeah they have literally everything there what's the old saying uh jack of all trades master of none does that apply to. Does that apply to the Cheesecake Factory? That's what I was saying. Like, they can't do all the stuff. But I put it better. Okay. They also have cheesecake. Their fettuccine Alfredo is nothing to play with.

That's good stuff. Catch me ordering that Cajun jambalaya pasta. You know, it's over when I do that. Vince Young spent all of his money at Cheesecake Factory. People forget that. He took all of his homies there for, like, every day. He took all of his homies there. He did. He did. He just treated them to... I wonder which part of the menu was his favorite, man. Were all of his homies vaccinated? Did they do a sit-in like they

did at this one in New York City? You know, I'm not sure about that. A group of 30-plus anti-vaxxers claiming to be doing a sit-in refused to check in at the host stand, skipped waiting customers, and then sat themselves across multiple tables in a Cheesecake Factory in New York City. So as I understand it, they require proof of vaccination to enter the premises, correct? Yeah, I believe a lot. I think New York City might have some new regulations going down right now where you have to have a proof of vaccination pretty much everywhere. I could be wrong about that.

But like, if you're going to do this, do you need to do it somewhere else besides cheesecake factory like you don't want to be the person on the news that is doing this at cheesecake factory well we're talking about it had they done this at like denny's i don't know if we're talking about it i mean yeah had they done it at some like you know way denny's requires that right what's that mean you know it's denny's it's denny's. It's Denny's. I don't know. How bad do you want Cheesecake Factory that you're like, we're doing a fucking sit-in? Not only that, but you're forgoing the hostess stand. You can't disrespect the hostess.

I think what happened. That's rule number one. I think what happened was, like, they got together a group of 30, and they're like, what do you guys want to eat? And everyone said something different from, like, different genres of food. And they decided the only place we could make that happen is a cheesecake factory because they have literally everything there why didn't they just bring their own seat yourself sign put it down and then be like what it's right here see yourself have you ever done have you ever gone to cheesecake factory and uh done the suey it's where you order literally everything on the menu it takes all day yeah i would imagine it's

pretty pricey too. And rarely can you finish it. If you're having a food fight, I think Cheesecake Factory might be the number one place to do it. Why? We got to talk food fights on the Bachelorette pod. They've got so much shit going on.

That's true. You could throw pasta at people, a nice flatbread pizza, a piece of cheesecake. Donut holes maybe. Have y'all been a part of a food fight? Like a legit food fight? No.

No. I don't need that. It's one of those things that just, honestly, seeing them happen gives me more anxiety than it's worth. Because there's always an asshole who throws something that they shouldn't throw. Like, it's all fun and, throw mashed potatoes, okay. You throw, like, an apple, or God forbid, a pineapple. Ooh, what about an upside-down pineapple? Ooh. Take me out back.

What's the worst thing to get hit by during a food fight? I think a pineapple is the answer. Or no, just like a fork or a knife, probably. Like a bone from a bone-in ribeye? What about like a hot soup? That would suck, too. Dude, you can't be doing scalding hot soup during a food fight. That's so fucked up.

That would be fucked up, man. Yeah. How'd you get that scar on your face? Food fight. This has probably come up, but did y'all ever, in elementary school with the school lunch, the carton of milk, the little tiny cardboard, after you were done, did you ever close it and then stomp on it and then it makes a really loud boom you probably shouldn't do that these days due to the um ongoing uh problem

of school violence but preschool violence pre-school for me was kind of funny phrasing david i'm disappointed that we never discovered that one. Yeah, me too. It's very loud. It stops everything down. We had one buddy who would blow up the bag and we would all get real quiet. The brown sack? Yep, we would allow him to just absolutely tee off on that thing.

Similar thing. Don't do that now. You don't see those too much anymore. The brown paper sack. You you know a lot of letter trash i guess i don't know we can move on to something else should we go to cheesecake factory after this kind of horny for it i want evelyn's favorite pasta that i just saw on the menu sounds really great shots to evelyn and your pasta the the Cheesecake Factory. What page of the menu is that on? 69. What's a glam burger?

Why don't you let us know? I mean, it's on their menu. I don't really know what it is. They have a... They're not one of those restaurants that puts the calories on their menu, right? Because I think that would deter me from ordering pretty much everything on their menu.

This stinks. What? You don't like glam burgers? It's the world's most expensive burger. It contains bits of gold leaf, caviar. Why is this at Cheesecake Factory? It's not. I think we have a mix-up here.

They don't have an actual glam burger with caviar in it at Cheesecake Factory. No one's ever gotten caviar at Cheesecake Factory. It's a glaring omission on their menu. If I know one thing, it's don't order the caviar at Cheesecake Factory. It's going to end poorly every single time. You've always said that. So were these guys arrested?

They have been arrested, and now there's been – I think they're doing a rally outside of the NYPD. Tough scene. Do these guys not have jobs? I don't know. They're eating at Cheese a cheesecake factory they're eating good yeah in the neighborhood like how much is an entree there i feel like they'd get expensive because the portions are just massive i don't think it's outrageous is it hard to say should we get a cheesecake a cheesecake i have it's actually very good it's pretty good It's the namesake.

They do have cheesecake, yeah. I wish cheesecake had zero calories. I'd eat it all. Cheesecake's good, man. It's so good. It's so good. I'm going to request that for my birthday this year. A little cheesecake.

Not Cheesecake Factory. I'm not allowed to go there. Why not? I haven't gotten poked, dog. Just kidding. I'll just skip the hostess line deuces man just 30 dudes just rolling just mobbing you're in there you're in there trying to have a nice date night maybe you got a sitter at home watching the kid and you and your lady friend like man let's just go to the cheesecake let's you know we haven't had a long time in forever and these 30 guys these fuckers just walk in there 30 to 50

walk right by the hostess which is rule number one you always greet and be kind to your host or hostess they're the host or the hostess they're the face they're the face they're the face guy or gal of the restaurant what are you doing you really want to get off on a bad foot? Not me. Gross. It's just disrespectful. What are you? What's gross? You said get off on a bad foot. That's my bad foot.

Why do an old person voice? Please don't get off on it. That's weird, man. Rex Ryan. I'm sorry. It's gross. Topical. Let's hear from our friends Rex Ryan. I'm sorry. It's gross. Topical. Let's hear from our friends over at Bird Dogs. Great transition.

Bird Dogs! That's more like a wolf, I think. It's not Bird Wolf. Hound Dog, really, is what you're doing. Kind of surprised they don't have a dog as their logo. They have an actual bird. Never thought about that until now. Interesting. They zig a bird, an actual bird. I never thought about that until now.

Interesting. They zig when we zag. These are birds that act like dogs. How do they do that? They just look for your affection, sniff each other's butts

and stuff. Exactly. They're little bird butts, tight little, what? What? I'm sorry. I know y'all are already

familiar with bird dogs. We don't even actually explain what they do, but if I was going to explain what they have, I'd say shorts, pants, and joggers

with built-in underwear that are the most comfortable shorts, pants, and joggers with built-in underwear. That are the most comfortable shorts, pants, and joggers that we have. Did I wear my bird dog's pants on the golf course on Saturday? Yes, I did. Did someone ask, Will, what pants are those? Yeah, they did. It was Dylan. That's true.

That happened. That's big time facts. I didn't have to ask. I knew. When I saw how your ass was hitting, I was like, those are his bird dog's pants. Thank you. You know what my dumb ass did before the round? Squats. No, I put on underwear before I put on the pants, and then I put the pants on

and I was like, wait! They've already got underwear on them. Did you double up? No. That's from the Dillon School of Layering. No, I did not double up. I taught you that move, didn't I? I did not double up. I wore mine that move, didn't I? I did not double up. I wore mine yesterday, actually.

I had the khaki ones, the khaki version of yours. I wore them yesterday. Dude, they're great. You're known for just rocking khakis and a polo. Right. Yeah. Okay. Okay.

It's a callback. Okay. It's a callback. You claimed once that that was your thing. That's true. Something I've never seen you wear. I don't even remember this. I'm sorry. Whatever.

These things are perfect for doing literally anything. Beach, brunch, golf pool, working out, anything. They stole Lululemon's designer, and they're just doing it better now. Go to birddogs.com, enter promo code STEAM, and they'll throw you a free Bird Dogs Whistle Tip football. Remember those Nerf Vortex footballs that whistle when you throw them? Oh, yeah. They're the footballs that you can literally throw a mile.

Talking about those ones. It's a must-have for football season, which has come soon enough. That's birddogs.com, promo code STEAM, and boom, a free Bird Dogs whistle tip football with your pair of Bird Dogs. You will not take these things off. I promise you. Dylan, didn't they used to call you football season? Excuse me?

I don't get it yeah they did why I know I don't know I'm trying to think through it football season whoosh you get it yeah explain it then because you can't come soon enough everybody's just waiting on you

when's he gonna do it okay old faithful over here wow this has been a surprisingly horny episode well it's about to get even more horny

because we're about to talk Kevin James as Sean Payton I think I almost referenced a bird as having a tight little ass. Thanks for landing the plane on that one, Will. I wouldn't have gotten there.

No worries, man. I got you. You just didn't want to get clipped. True. That's what that was. That's a guy who knows that there's people watching with the clip ability. My first question when it comes to Kevin James playing Sean Payton in a movie is who... It's not even about Kevin James playing Sean Payton, but who is the person that's like,

you know, we need a Sean Payton movie. Let's get a movie about Sean Payton. Seriously, why does he get a movie? Give me a Bill Parcells movie with Will Ferrell instead. Or Kevin James. What's next, a Mike McCarthy movie? He won a Super Bowl too.

Disappointment that Sean Payton's only won one Super Bowl with a generational talent. He did have to take a season off. That's true. That's kind of what this is about, right? Oh, I guess we're just going to celebrate his bounty system that he implemented. What the fuck's going on here? No one asked for a Sean Payton movie.

Sean Payton clearly had no role in casting this movie because no one would cast themselves as Kevin James. Did he even know this movie was being made? I'd rather see a Gary Payton movie. The only person that might cast themselves as Kevin James is T-Man. Because he just loves King of Queens. He does, yeah. This is, as Randy pointed out before the show,

a Happy Madison production. And once you learn that, you're like, okay. It makes a lot of sense now, yeah. Once I saw the kids puking on each other, I was like, okay, what are we doing here? He and Kevin James are boys. He's been in a few of his movies.

Grownups. I wish they would have cast Kevin Nealon from Little Nicky with the boob on his head. I wish they would have casted him from the Jennifer Aniston movie with Adam Sandler where he got a bunch of plastic surgery. Couldn't move his head. I wish they would have casted him from the Jennifer Aniston movie with Adam Sandler where he got a bunch of plastic surgery. Couldn't move his face.

Was that the gorilla one? No. This one where they go to Hawaii and he's trying to choose between Brooklyn Decker and Jennifer Aniston. Hey, Adam! He was feasting in that movie. Brooklyn Decker. Woo! Seen her around town.

Uh-huh. You did what? Last night. Grabbed a little Sart H-E-B. Wow, that's sick. Grabbed a pineapple, threw it in my cart.

She ignored me. I've never seen her. I've only seen Roddick. I've only seen Roddick at Juice Land and Taco Deli. I got news. That's where I saw her, actually.

There's about 40 ladies in Westlake that look similar to Brooklyn Decker. So it may not have even been her. You needed me there. Super recognizer. I would have figured it out.

It's true. Oh, okay, guy. I didn't need you there. This movie looks terrible. If they made a movie about your life and you had nothing to do with it other than just getting a paycheck because they were making it about your life. What's the worst-case scenario that they would cast somebody for you? The worst representation of me. Like, for me, I think it would be the dude from, like, those investing commercials that everyone tags me in. Just a total no-namer with a beard, kind of dopey.

That dude does look like you. I know, but it's annoying. The Ameritrade guy? The Ameritrade guy actually does look like me, and I don't get annoyed with that. But when people send me a screenshot from some random Netflix movie or TV show, and it's like, dude, this guy looks exactly like you. I'm like, no, he just has a beard. He just has a beard.

You know what happened to me recently? So they actually are doing a show not a movie but a show on my life and uh i heard a ruckus outside my backyard i went out there and there was a dead guy he was trying to break into my house but was in my pool and come to find out there's a city ordinance says you have to have a fence around your pool. And I didn't have that. So, turns out, the guy who died in my pool, his brother is aware of this. And long story short, I had to cast his daughter in my show. And she's not a very good actress.

It's pretty kind of annoying. And now, like, I'm spending the next, you know, six or seven weeks trying to figure out how do I get out of this, right? Including befriending a city councilwoman. For the 98% of y'all who are totally lost on Dave's little tale here. What? It's from Curb. Is Curb not as popular as I give it credit for?

Uh-uh. A lot of people don't like this season. I'm not one of those people. Oh, I think it's great. This season has been phenomenal. The girl who has been chosen as the actor who's bad bad she might be the best bad actor i've ever seen in my entire life there's been times where i thought she was too bad and like no one is like that and then i'm like this is curb i just need to enjoy it yes i think she deserves a supporting actress

nom in the golden globes for her performance as being the shittiest actress of all time because she's knocking it out of the park. But anyway, this hasn't really happened to me. Which movie? What if they just cast you as Larry David and he was just clearly like 20 years older, like 30 years older than you and it's just like,

oh, I look that old? What are you trying to say? Nothing. Which movie looks worse slash better? It depends on how you look at it. This one or the Kurt Warner one? I didn't even watch the trailer for the Kurt Warner one. They chose a no-name actor who's clearly never played a sport in his life.

This one is attempting to be a comedy. This one looks like they're trying to ride the Ted Lasso wave. This one's a little bit more self-aware, maybe. The Kurt Warner one just looks like... This is really specific. It's a straight-up biopic. A religious movie that you would... A movie with a Christian message

that you would see at your doctor's office when you were a kid and you were in the waiting room. That maybe is only applying to me, but I have one particular memory of a pediatrician's office that always had these terrible movies on. I don't even know who Zachary Levy is. He is a part of the DC Extended Universe. Randy, are you familiar with Zachary Levy?

He's in Shazam. I thought that was a Shaq movie. Shaquille. I'd love to pull out Shazam in public, the little app. No, and honestly, I think that app deserves more credit for being one of the best apps of all time i actually don't have it on my phone because i'm just lazy and i don't feel like downloading it oh i have it and i use it it's an unbelievable app this was one of the first apps that was ever released in the app store and the fact that it can do what it does with such accuracy it still blows my mind i know it makes no sense to me how

it can be so accurate so quickly it's incredible i think about all the times i've googled lyrics looking for a song where i could have just shazammed it i was very dumb yeah i was at um that wedding recently with bae and all of her friends and a song came on this song is tight what is it i had no idea i started i pulled out my shazam and i was like oh shit it was a cupid shuffle i think people saw me do it what song was like dude this cupid shuffle song is fuckingupid Shuffle. I think people saw me do it. What song was it? Dylan's like, dude, this Cupid Shuffle song is fucking dope. You need to know what it was. Please, pull up your most recent Shazams.

Pull up your most recent Shazams. Don't bring that up and not tell the people what you Shazam'd. Pull up your recent Shazams. We gotta know. I wanna know what songs you're like, wow, this song is so good, I wanna know what it is. While you're pulling it up, Will and I are gonna talk about Randy rocking the slick back today. You did go fullott con today i have it right here okay what are your most recent shazam songs okay um the one i was referring to is called blue sky action

it's by above and beyond featuring alex vargas oh yeah catchy. Okay. But this was like an electronic version of it. What else you got? I was on a boat that day by Old Dominion. That's a pretty catchy pop country song. Okay. I was hoping we were going to catch you shazamming songs that you should have known, but

I'm 0 for 2 on these. Waves by Miguel, but it's a Tame Impala remix, and it's really good. I overdid the first Miguel Waves one, so I can't even listen to it anymore because I hate it. In the Dark by William Beckman, which is a great song. Highly recommend. What's the last one? You used this more than I thought.

I mean, I have a ton here. This dude just goes around town shazamming. Dude, it's a great app. All right, I'm going to get it right now. I'm going to download it. It's just embarrassing to whip out in public. That's all I'm saying. What is?

The app or? Shazam. Oh, okay. You just walk into the club, phone out. Just shazamming immediately. It's like low-key in my thumb zone. That's how much I use it. Can you shazam a podcast i don't know can we just

can we just buy a fucking billboard at this point i don't know what that has to do with shazam can't shazam a billboard i'm shazaming right now maybe it'll recognize my voice as being one from circling back yeah i just don't think it's going to. It's probably not going to. How cool would that be? There's too much data to sift through. Shut up, David. This would take quantum computing. Oh, it's expanding the search. It's still looking.

We're not going to get a result here. Nope. Weird. It's okay. That was pretty epic, though. Yeah, I'm really glad we went through that process. I bet Joe Rogan would get recognized by Shazam. Whatever.

Wow. That's my Joe Rogan. That's good. This movie might end up being pretty good. If it's like any other happy Madison film, it's probably pretty awesome. I can wholeheartedly say I will never find out whether or not this movie is good. I will never watch it. Oh, you should watch it.

I will never watch it. Stream room it should watch it. I will never watch it. Stream room it. I do not care at all about shitty football movies at this point. I'm going to watch the Kurt Warner one because it looks so bad

that it looks good. Not going to watch that one either. I've never been a big Kurt Warner guy. Kurt Warner has a better story than Sean Payton. Yeah, one that you can actually look at and be like,

oh, that's nice. Instead, you're making a comedy movie about a coach that got suspended for a year because he had a bounty program. Who's his coordinator? I'm sure he knew nothing about it. Did they kill Brett Favre? Is that what

happened? They tried to. Kill the head, kill the body, or something like that. Which, to be fair, that's a good strategy. If you're going to try to kill someone, the head is the first place you should go. Or the heart. Right. It'd be weird if they just unloaded a clip into Brett Favre when he was dropping back, though.

Yeah, definitely don't bring weapons onto the field. Could you imagine some dude just pulling out his toolie on the field? No, it's Dylan. Dylan, instead of rushing the passer, he just pulls out his phone and starts shazamming. What? It's like, yeah, what were they playing right before that down? That was sick. It's like, oh, it was Europe, final countdown.

Yeah, that's a good one. Knock until you buck. Hold on. Sandstorm? Sandstorm, I've heard of that. Sandstorm's tight. Why is Sandstorm just a turkey gobbling at high speeds? Here, let's do it.

Okay, here's my impression of a turkey doing Sandstorm. Ready? Okay. I like Klein Turkey the best, I think. What? Hey, nobody talked about how much we used the term pards on the golf course the other day. I think everyone tried to mentally mute it. One person, it might have been Dylan, said, I hate that.

I hate the term pards. So we just, the next four holes, like, overdone, just ran it into the ground. It was so bad. I hate Justin Thomas simply for him calling people pards. Dude, it's the worst. It's so bad that I think I'm simply for him calling people pards. Dude, it's the worst. It's so bad that I think I'm going to start using it a lot now. Definitely don't start tweeting Dylan with pards. Okay.

Get blocked. Why is my brother-in-law just sending me selfies right now? It's disgusting. Let's talk about Coinbase real quick. Much coins, such base. If you've been following the cryptocurrency craze, now is the time to start getting involved. Coinbase makes it quick and easy to start your own portfolio

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It goes like check Twitter, crypto, Patreon. I mentioned my thumb zone on my phone. Coinbase is also in there. It's in your T-zone? Yeah, I check it several times throughout the day. I mean, dude, I'm checking my wallet like it's going out of style. Coinbase got me in the game initially. Facts.

A few years ago. Big facts. Yeah, they were the one that I went to because they seemed to be the easiest, the most reputable, and the most reliable. User-friendly, reliable. Good call. I'm happy with it. Whether you're looking to diversify or you're just getting started or you're searching for a better way to access crypto markets, start today with Coinbase. For a limited time, new users can get $10 in free Bitcoin when you sign up today at Coinbase.com slash steam.

Sign up at Coinbase.com slash steam for $10 in free Bitcoin. This is a limited time offer only, so be sure to sign up today. That's coinbase.com slash steam. Davey had a Tuesday. I really did. What'd you do? What happened, man? I have a headlight out in my Jeep Grand Cherokee. With one headlight. Wow, Grand Cherokee must be nice.

Yeah, it's a really, really expensive vehicle. I'll call you Jacob Dillon. Did you know there's a Jeep Wagoneer vehicle. I'll call you Jacob Dillon. Did you know there's a Jeep Wagoneer that looks just like a Tahoe? I saw one at the dealership yesterday. They're pretty tight. You know they're wildly expensive? What, like 90K?

North of that. I mean, the base model's 68, and if I know anything about the base model, you could double that thing up real easy with a few choices. One of the cars I'm not about that base. So the headlight's out. It's been out for a few days so i went to the auto parts store and i acquired a bulb and i was going to do it myself as i've done many times before maybe twice come to find out it is much more difficult on newer vehicles to change a headlight bulb meaning i could either remove the bumper and go in that way. Something that I, even if it's not as hard as it sounds, I just don't want to have a bumperless car in my driveway

because knowing me, I won't be able to get it back on correctly. And then I'll just have a car. I can't drive because it doesn't have a bumper or I could pop some stuff out like under the hood and then go in that way. I didn't want to do that. I thought I was going to be doing more harm than good. So made an appointment at a dealership and they were going to do like a 20,000 mile tune up all that. And then change the headlight for me, had the appointment, told them I'm just going to need a loaner. Cause I didn't want to sit up there for two hours. I had stuff to do kids Kids, dogs. You know how it is. It be like that sometimes. Get up there and they tell me that they don't have a loaner because there's a wait list

for the loaner. I was like, okay. It's like 1.45 to, this is after we had a meeting yesterday. Had not eaten lunch because the meeting was just so hard. We were going just throwing ideas around. Shit was flying, synergy, all all that um asked the guy i was like hey is there anything to eat around here this is on the frontage road of i-35 very

very busy highway here in austin one that i try to avoid honestly because traffic and he said well there's a twin peaks uh just about a block over if you walk down the frontage road. Well, say no more, fam. Based on your RBP performance, I think that's like music to your ears. Well, I had to ask. I was like, are you in on the RBP thing? Is this a bit? And it was not. So me totally respecting the Twin Peaks menu, which a lot of people compare to the Cheesecake

Factory menu and its versatility and diversity. I was like, you know what? I'm going to walk down there and maybe there's something else. Or maybe I just go into Twin Peaks and have some pulled pork nachos and a beer by myself as I wait for my car. Got about 100 steps down the frontage road and realized I don't really want to be walking down the frontage road because it seems dangerous. Cars are zooming by. I've got a backpack on with my laptop in it.

You didn't want to get clipped by a random Porsche? If I go, I don't want to go walking to Twin Peaks on a frontage road. But you would have died doing something you love. That's true. And they say if you want the ultimate, you've got to be willing to pay the ultimate price. And the ultimate is pulled pork nachos at Twin Peaks. They're pretty good.

Try them. So I go back, and I was like, all right, well, I'm starting to get hangry at this point. Everybody knows you don't want to be around me when I haven't eaten. Just a problem. Oh, yeah. I utilized a food delivery app on my phone, and I had Chick-fil-A delivered to the dealership. A spicy chicken sandwich and eight nugs. Dude, how down bad are you?

You got a sandwich and nugs. You can't deliver it to the dealership. Not only did I get it delivered to the dealership, there's a little bench outside that's just kind of in the, facing the frontage road and like some of the cars they have for sale on the lot. And I just sat out there and had a little picnic by myself and ate my Chick-fil-A. Then went back inside and just sat there for about two hours watching Spectrum TV, the same newscast, every 15 minutes over and over. Two hours?

Yeah. Every 15 minutes, over and over. Two hours? Yeah. Going to a car dealership for service is one of the most depressing things you can do. You're just sitting there for hours on end just waiting for them to fix your car. Shout out to Myron. The guy was great.

And I got to say, the amenities, if you're in there, they've got a fridge with bottled water. They've got a vending machine that takes a debit card oh i forgot about this i was really tired and i didn't want to fall asleep so i bought uh i bought a monster from the vending machine so i drank monster and ate chick-fil-a in the fucking dealership why didn't you just tell them why weren't you just like hey i want to uh like i'm never mind i'm gonna test drive some cars because my lease is gonna be up soon then you could have just test drove one to twin peaks and come back came back smelling like pulled pork nachos and beer the grand wagoneer could have taken that for a little dude that thing's too big man i'm scared i'm a boy where that thing doesn't even fit in this parking lot uh yeah i don't that's

a good question i haven't test driven a vehicle in a long, long time. Do they still do that? Yeah. You got to test it before you drive, man. Yeah, what are you talking about, dog? I really haven't done that in a while. I'm a test-drive boy for sure. Why is it so hard? Why can't you just pop the headlight out and do it like you used to be able to? Didn't it used to be a lot easier?

Didn't you used to not have to remove your bumper? Do you all ever have headlights? Have you ever had a headlight go out? That to be a lot easier? Didn't you used to not have to remove your bumper? Do you all ever have headlights? Have you ever had a headlight go out? That's just a me problem. Never had a headlight go out. A taillight I have. That seems like it's much easier. I wouldn't know, honestly.

You didn't fix it? You know, it's really depressing driving around with one headlight because if it's getting dark, I try not to drive after dark. But when you're getting there and most people have their headlights on, people are giving you the flash to let you know. And you're like, yeah, I fucking know, dude. I know. I flash back.

I'm like, yeah, dude. With one? Yeah, it's just real pathetic. You feel like a total goon. Yeah. I was driving around with Randy, and I was like, Randy, dude, just stay down. I don't want you to get caught up in this. This is embarrassing for you.

I was like, Randy, dude, just stay down. I don't want you to get caught up in this. This is embarrassing for you. The last time I had a light that was out, I was just with a girl named Cinderella. Okay. And we put it all together. We drove it home with one headlight. I want to follow, but I'm not.

You're disgusting. Shazam me. Do you not remember? Can you just're disgusting. Shazam me. Do you not remember? Can you just shazam me? Yeah. Are we supposed to talk Game of Thrones now? Never seen it. What's up?

That fucking red wedding, though. People were saying this last wedding from Succession was the new red wedding. Really? I've been thinking about Succession's finale. Can I ask a question? Mm-hmm. Are we going to get more of the... What was the point of Greg going from Comfrey to the Duchess, being interested in her?

Are we going to get more of that? Or was that maybe showing that he's kind of becoming a bad guy? An absolute dick slinger? Obvious hog slinger. Yes, Will. I think if they don't take the princess storyline as far as they can take it, I'm going to be upset. We got a lot of intel on that.

We know her family. It would be absolutely hilarious if Cousin Greg became royalty. I need this to happen. He's one plane crash away, man. It seemed like that storyline was just an excuse to get one of the producer's daughters an acting role. Yeah, she didn't really have any lines. They just wrote her apart. It's like, oh, you're hot.

Roman and Greg, they didn't really do much with it. Yeah. I fucked up. What? What happened? I talked a big game about being an elite producer earlier, and I fucked up. Have we not been recording? I skipped a segment.

Oh, a big-time segment, too. A big-time segment. I've been waiting for it. I'm going to pair it with this next segment because I think that makes sense. All right? All right. I'm a consummate professional. I'm not going to skip a segment.

I'm going to combine seggies. Well, you're doing your best. It's time for This Weekend in Fun, presented by Early Bird CBD. Early Bird, you know what they are. They're gummies that are recreational. You can take one of these and go out and have a little fun, have a little skip in your step. You can also take them at home and relax.

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All-time sleep, man. I've been having a recurring dream lately, and I think it's due to early bird CBD. I go to bed earlier than I normally would. I stay asleep. I wake up feeling very well rested. Tell me what that recovery score says. 83% recovery from Dave Ruff over here. My goodness.

Are you kidding me? That has to be all because of early bird CBD. I've been in the green every day this week, and I also have done nothing at night other than watch Narcos and have an early bird CBD. That's the dream, baby. That's the dream. Highly recommend. That's the mid-30s dream.

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I highly recommend getting as much as you want because that is the move. Get 20% off at earlybirdcbd.com using promo code STEAM. Are you guys ready for the segment that I accidentally skipped? Yes. I'm going to assume that we all have very similar this weekend in funds because we have our company Christmas party this Friday. We'll be eating at Sammy's Italian restaurant in Austin, Texas. I'd say that we shouldn't say that on the air because we might have some people trying to crash, but it's really hard to get a reservation there.

Plus, Dave will be bouncing our little area. You better not walk in there trying to be all rude to the hostess and just do like a sit-in or some shit. That is not a restaurant that fucks around. The one thing that concerns me about this place is that it's on West 6th Street and it's too close to a place that Dylan loves, Dirty Bills,

and we're going to end up there at some point. We're not going to Dirty Dills. I promise you. There's too many people. In lieu of talking about our entire weekends, I think we put together a little segment that's just some predictions for the Christmas party. Okay. Okay. Last year's Christmas party, we did a video on it on

YouTube.com slash Watched Media where we recapped it. I have some regrets about that party. I almost fell going to the bathroom. Yeah. I might have left early before the after party. Last year? Yeah.

Perry Steakhouse. Perry Steakhouse. Great dinner by all means. You were pretty much gassed after the first lap. I showed up and you were... I will be doing something this year that I did not do last year. And this year I will be avoiding drinking two martinis before the party. Well, you know, there's the Merriman cocktail hour before.

That's facts. Okay. What are you going to drink there? Well, it's hard to say. I'm currently having child care issues, Dylan. So my pre-dinner plan is currently in jeopardy. I'm a maybe for the cocktail hour and I'll pre-dinner plan is currently in jeopardy. I'm a maybe for the cocktail hour, and I'll tell you why.

Friday's moving day for your boy. Bay and I have the busiest day of our lives. I didn't know you were playing in a golf tournament. That's usually on Saturday. We're going to do our damnedest to make it. Okay. But if we don't, it's for a very good reason. I think we might just need to pivot. What are the predictions?

Wait, you're not even doing the moving. You've hired hunks. Yeah, that's true. Did you invite the hunks to the dinner? Uh-huh. They can be our bouncers. They can be our security detail at the dinner. We just have a bunch of shirtless dudes in jeans just standing around our table.

Just a bunch of hunks, man. Who wants to lead off? Just a mercenary honk. I'll start off. I have one. Okay. My first one, Dave orders a bottle of wine

we probably can't afford. That's facts. If anyone's going to do it, it's going to be Dave. No, I don't know. There's one more person that I could see doing this. Sally?

No, actually, there's three people I could see doing this. Sally being one of them. Bay? Yes, Bay. I could easily see Bay being like, no, this is a really good bottle.

We're doing this one. She wouldn't do it on our tab, though, I don't think. I would do it on our tab if I were her. That's fair. No one's going to say no. That's not an insult. You have good taste in wine. I'm withholding comment.

I'm going to follow up with my Dave prediction for the night. And this is not – I'm not going to tear you down. I like to see boy bosses winning. If it's not Dave goes home immediately after, then you're wrong. My prediction is that Dave's fit goes so crazy that he's going to win the Fit of the Night Award. Man, the problem with that, Will, and I appreciate you thinking that, is just this weather and what I kind of had planned a couple weeks ago

is not really jiving with what I want to do. I do not care if it's 80 degrees outside. I will be dressing for the Christmas party as if it is 42 degrees outside. Dave's going to go cowboy-headed. I'm not showing up to a Christmas party in a short-sleeved shirt. I'm showing up in a chunky-ass sweater. Chunky boy. I might even wear my Western hat out.

We might be getting real loco. Oh, my God. I went real silly at L.L. Bean and a lot of it I can't really even wear Friday. It's just kind of a bummer. He debuted a sweater the other night. It was chef's kiss. Can I sit at the head of the table? Or the foot?

I'll take the foot, too. Sure. I love sitting at the head. You just get a vantage point of everybody. Big head guy. Big head guy. Love head. With tables.

Right. For sure. Put that pen down head guy. Big head guy. Love head. With tables. Right. For sure. Put that pen down, Randy. Put that pen down, Randy. Dave, do you have any predictions? Yes. I am first to arrive with my wife. That's not happening.

We will be first because I don't think we can make the cocktail hour. So I think we may get there early. I just want to get in there and just check out the scene. Mix it up with the host. Let them know that we're not going to be any trouble. And if we are, just let me know and I'll quiet the kids down. Also, I will not make it out after. I will go home and I will get eight hours of sleep.

You're making it out after i'm not yes you are i don't think i am if i am my wife won't be joining me because she's her mom is gonna be watching roads that means you can stay all night but she doesn't want it she feels bad leaving the leaving her mom i don't know we'll see it's a did you know it's a nine our dinner's late enough that you're like your mother-in-law is going to be asleep the entire time. She's going to be straight chilling. That's part of it. It's so late that it's like, I'm going to be fucking tired afterward.

Shut up. I'm just telling the truth. You're going to be a lot of fun. No, I will be. I'll be more fun than you. Trust me. Wait until you see the bottle of wine I order. I have another prediction. Someone's going to complain about the prefix menu. No, that's a sorry.

I'm already complaining. There's a prefix menu? Are the mozzarella sticks on it? They are. Chicken parm? It's yet to be set, actually. Okay. But I will be...

I found out last night that I married just an uncultured swine. What'd she do? She's spelling prefix like it's the beginning of a word. Come on. What are we doing here? That's not how you spell prefix. It's fixed price. P-R-I-X space F-I-X-E.

Just get it through your heads out there, people. Didn't you have to get your prefix? You're leaking. Stop. I have to get your pre fixed? You leaking. Stop. I need to get that fixed. Goodness gracious. Okay, that's... Speaking of mozzarella sticks,

my final prediction for the night is that I will eat the most mozzarella sticks at the table. They are really good. If there's one left on the tray, I'm not going to be the guy that's like, oh, I don't want to take the last one. I'll be the guy being like, I'm taking that left on the tray I'm not going to be the guy that's like Oh I don't want to take the last one I'll be the guy being like I'm taking that last mozzarella stick And I'm not splitting it with anybody

Mozzarella sticks at Sammy's Are the chips and salsa Of the Italian restaurant world They're so fucking good You fill up on them Before the actual meal gets there And you've ruined your meal But it's worth it

I have to amend one Because of the weather I have down Brett wears a turtleneck But it'll be 73. I can still see him doing it. I can see him powering through. I'm going to call the restaurant ahead of time and ask them to turn it down to a crispy 60 degrees in the restaurant

so that we can all be comfortable in our dope-ass fits. It's for the fits. The rest of the restaurant is going to be absolutely shivering. It's the loudest restaurant on the planet. Cheesecake Factory can get pretty up there. That's true. Especially when the boys mob. True. When the boys start sitting in.

I'm also predicting that I will not leave early this year. Or be forced to leave before the check is signed. Did you do that last year? Yeah, I kind of had to. Why? Because I had too many martinis with blue cheese olives in them. I was slinging them back. You were toasty.

Yeah. That's right. I think I started talking to Alyssa about, like, deep state theories about the royal family. You were hammered. And Sally was like, let's get out of here. You were teetering on, like, Matzo Rancho martini hammer. Dude, nothing gets me up like a company Christmas party. I have a really bad history of company Christmas parties just going too far.

Grand X. I loved the Grand X parties. So this is our third one. Correct? Yeah. This is our third one. Where did we do our first one? El Alma.

And then Egos. Okay. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That was a really fun one. Yeah. Love Egos. What are you guys doing the rest of the weekend?

Honestly? Actually, I'm invited to two parties on Saturday. Must be nice. I'm invited to zero. We've got a bowl season kicking off, and we'll see what YouTube TV does. Might be bowl season when I get home from the Christmas party. Illegally streaming a bowl I don't really care about season. Christmas party night will be the first night in our new home.

That's exciting. You should go home and unpack when you're hammered. Nothing more fun. Just putting shit in places you'll forget. Have you found your hand sanitizer closet yet? Oh, I threw all that stuff out. No offense to our farmers. You actually threw it away?

Yeah. I would have donated it, but I'm different. You are different, David. Thank you. Okay. Look, it's really good hand sanitizer. I do predict that we will go to Dirty Dills at some point. I really don't want to.

And it won't be my decision. I will be very anti-doing that. I apologize to anyone who forces the issue because I will just say no. I will go if there's no line. If there's a line, I skip it. I can't do lines there. Dylan's only going if there's no line. If there's a line, I skip it. I can't do lines there. Dylan's only going if there's lines. Some of us.

That's pretty good. There wasn't a line the other night. I just don't want to. It's a tough place for 12 people to get into. Like in Jive. It's twice I've used that word. Jive-ass turkeys today. There's not really any other options over there.

I'm trying to think of a Randy prediction. Is Randy going to order every cocktail on the menu like he did at Bob's Steakhouse last year? Are the napkins origami friendly? That we did not see. Randy, what's better for an origami napkin? Is it paper or cloth? He says cloth. He says cloth.

He says cloth. They're going to be cloth. Interesting. Randy, prediction, he orders a limoncello. Ooh, I'm going to get a limoncello. Don't have one too many. You might kill a kid. I love limoncello.

I probably won't kill anybody. You might fall off your pool raft. You don't know what limoncello is it's we'll teach you oh i'm gonna teach you damn this uh this being on a friday i'm really not gonna do anything for the next two days no yeah that's the thing like i i hope to really recover all saturday and i hope to not even i hope to be in bed by 8 p.m on on Saturday night. I put Fritz to bed on Saturday, and I'm going to bed right after. This ends with Alyssa going home, me staying out, having one drink at whatever bar we go to, realizing I can't drink anymore.

I've got a belly full of lasagna and chicken parm and mozzarella sticks, and debating on calling an Uber. That's how this goes. I can tell you. That's how it goes every year for me, these things. I'm going to need your A game, David. I don't like what you're saying, man. Look, I don't want to set the bar too high.

You're setting it. It's at the floor right now. I think I'm going to fight KJ at this party. That's a good idea. I'm going to take a plate of chicken parm, and I'm just going to put it in KJ's face. I would bet on you all day. He's going to leave there

with noodles all over his shoulders because I'm just going to be giving him the, like a, you know like the, when they used to take your face and put it in the snow? I'm going to do that with,

I hate when they used to do that. I'm going to do that with KJ and I'm going to do that in the chicken parm. There's a chance, I think three people from this party, Brett,

four maybe. Brett, Randy, and Adam end up at Barbarella. Those three are going to be a problem. Are they not going to splinter off? They're going to splinter off. They would honestly be best served to splinter off. Wait, where is Barbarella? Is it on West?

Don't act like you don't know where Barbarella is. It's further. No, I think it's Eastern. Dirty? I don't know. You used to go there every Friday. You know why? It's because the two times I've been there.

Oh, my gosh. So annoying. The two times I've been there, I don't really. I've never been. I don't really recall. Facts. Yeah, they got the young squad. They're going to ditch the old folks at some point.

They should. And go turn it. They should. That's the move. That's the move for them. We're going to go to South Congress Hotel Bar and like, oh, let's go have one more drink. And then they're going to go grind to 80s music or whatever it is you do there. Dave's going to open a tab at Dirty Bills for all the washed folks.

We're going to end up spending more at Dirty Bills than we did at the dinner. Yeah. That's what you're going to do. Yeah. I hope somebody does. Oh, so now you are going out after. Oh, it's on the company. Dave's going out.

If it's on the company dime, I definitely am. Dave's going out. Well, you know that comes out of your pocket too, right?. It's on the company dime. I definitely am. Dave's going out after this. Well, you know that comes out of your pocket too, right? As part owner of the company. I have no problem with that. You're going to get taxed on it either way. Okay. Is it time?

Yeah. Anybody got a tee time? Nope. Sunday, not Saturday. Nope. Sunday's perfect tee time day. I don't have one, David. Okay.

Bye.