Circling Back - Circling Back's Greatest Hits, Volume 1

Episode Date: October 3, 2025

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Are we talking bottomless memos? Chasing them off around. Name a slutty or podcaster. You can't. Sorry, I have a chronic case of the fuck around. It's not something to laugh about it. This was a cold call, you dumb bitch. You blew it, buddy.

Don't talk shit about my piss. You do have some bitch-ass fingers. Someone needs to look into Panera. Do you ever stop by that kiosk bar? Right, it's right by the... No, that sounds like the worst place to drink a beer, but also the funniest place to do conno. They have TVs, post, like...

It's just a kiosk in the middle of the mall? Yes, it's a bar. Oh, let's go do a bit there. It's right outside. Let's go drink a beer that. It's funny. It's a, it looks like it's a full stock bar. Yeah, it's a straight up just bar.

Okay, new bit, you go to that bar and you just post up and you just fucking sit there. And you just, it's like, you act like it's like a dive bar and you're just fucking sitting there all day, just chatting it up with the bartender. You got teenagers holding hands walking the mall. Yeah, I remember me. I used to me. Dude, what if it's up going to the car? Carve bar fucking bread out there just went to the mall bar

and just put his laptop. Alyssa, like, y'all are like, I don't show up for work one day and someone's like, yeah, I heard him and Alyssa had a fight, and he went to the mall bar. It's really funny. We're closing down, David.

We're closing down. You gotta go. You can't stay here. I don't think it's an authentic Irish bar. You can't stay at the chaos, definitely. Kiosk. Akadia cab.

You can't drive. Give me a keys, boy. Go home, make up letter. Very a sari. The Irish barkeep at the mall kiosk bar. You gotta regret it forever. You're too good at that accent. That's fucking good, dog.

Not everything's a joke, David. Get in your car. Just get out of here. You better want to me, any. Go on down to Dippin' Dippin' Dutts. Clean yourself up. They do have a different dots, I think. You need some food, boy.

The cheesecake factory is still open. The Penda Express is right here. Maybe they'll make you something. Give their American cookie, great American bake shop. They're closing down. They'll give you some scraps. Slice a cookie cake. I'll take your home, boy.

You can't sleep on me, couch. Take your home boy. My Maggie is there. Maggie. What are we doing? I don't know, man. I don't know. Is there really a kios bar?

Yes, dude. It's so funny, too. All right, let's fucking go. People hang out, like, legit go. All right, we'll go get a drink at the kios bar. Dude, imagine just fucking cruising for, cruising for pee at the kiosk bar. It makes me wonder if they're there at the mall, like, shopping and then, like, there's a bar. Might as well get a drink or people go to the bar at the mall, you know?

The worst part of the kios bar is having to the mall bathroom. It's not nearby. I mean, if the old ball and chain is at, you know, Ulta. She's in Lulu. Yeah. She's in Lulu. And you're like, oh, there's a bar. That's probably what it is.

Yeah, let's go. Let's do. What if we did a live pod from the kios bar? You're saying it's the same vibes as the bars that are at, like, amusement parks where the dad's just going to go post up and watch, like, the game while the kids are riding the... Yeah, the husband who's just beating down. He's just like, you know, they, you know how they sit outside on the bench in the mall when the, when she's, He's inside. Like, let me know when you're finished.

It's that guy. Instead of sitting on that bench, just staring at people, he just goes to the bar. That's a bad fantasy payoff. Having to open and close the fucking kiosk, I mean, that's truly terrible. Yeah. I have some personal news to share. I got Dom's again. Domzzi?

D-O-M-S, delayed onset muscle soreness. It is back in my life, and it has absolutely wrecked my. Tuesday and Wednesday so far is this from your your stunt ass so I worked out Monday morning and this wasn't a crazy workout as a workout I've done many times I hit back then I hit legs all right again a workout that I've done many times in the past felt fine during the workout felt fine throughout the rest of my Monday I woke up yesterday morning and my left shoulder was killing me still is I didn't know what it was I thought I like strained a muscle it was so bad like I can't I can't move it certain ways. It just really sore. This is just that shoulder? I was trying to figure out

what was happening, all right? Skip my workout yesterday because of my shoulder. Then I'm laying in bed yesterday evening. I got home from work, and I noticed that the same pain that's in my left shoulder is also in my right, but it's much, it's much fainter. Okay. On top of that, my legs, I'm not walking right. My legs are so unbelievably sore. My ass is sore. And I just did weighted lunges. Like, I didn't, I didn't do, I didn't hit, like, max out on squat or anything. You what I mean? Lundges can really get you. Dom's has absolutely wrecked my shit again. And I don't know what caused it. It sounds like it was the workout. Right. But again, I work out all the time. I work out five days a week. Here we go. World Sexiest Man over here. I work out five days a

week. Why did this one absolutely destroy my body? I am so fucking sore. Let's, let's break it down. As someone who listens to podcasts, I feel like I can give you this advice. What's going on? What are you, were you, did you have any deficiencies that day, diet-wise, hydration-wise? Like, did you have like, was it like a day where it's like, I didn't eat this morning? The only thing.

The only thing that I, that I'm trying to make sense of is I, so I was sick recently and during the week that I was sick, I didn't work out. But this wasn't my first workout back after I was immobile for a while. Okay. This was like the third workout back. But for whatever reason, the back workout and the leg workout just absolutely destroyed me. And I can't make sense of it. And I got to figure this thing out.

What's going on? And it's not just, it's not just, I mean, this is really, it's painful as fuck. It really hurts. I went on bodybuilding.com. My forum is kind of where I mix it up with the guys. Right. And they said what's likely happening is that you're just being a bitch. I could have something to do with it.

That's what they have said. But I've dealt with soreness before, but not like this. Not like this. I don't get it. Are you doing any active recovery? No. Why? What does it even look like?

I'm going to ask chat, GPT. I don't know. What kind of active recovery do you get involved in, Dave? I mean, I don't get Dom's that often. But I don't know, just like an off day, like long walk or like a, I don't know. You know your boys walking. do some foam rolling do some i walk like crazy okay i'm doing 10 to 15 miles a week with was stella on the trail that's right this guy goes on two hour walks every day we've learned that

we know this love here's a guy um do i know what a chat gpts say what are they what are they saying they say they there could be multiple different reasons for delayed onset muscle soreness doms parentheses more than likely this list number one you're being a little bitch so there seems be a consistent that's two yeah there's a consensus here that so dave's forum bodybuilding dot com and then chat gbt yeah both say i'm being a little bitch yes have you thought about that like do you look in the mirror every morning like and just like do some affirmation stuff like do you know that you the way my legs feel you would think i uh was training for like world strong as a man or something i i did like a like a six hour leg workout and that's just not what's going

on you know i did weighted lunges i was just named world's least strongest man it's been a hell of a day for me weighted lunges like that's it those are tough hoss i make i mixed in a couple of deadlifts but they're not now we're getting to not heavy i did i did two sets of deadlifts and it wasn't heavy weight just don't get it man hang on uh this shit has wrecked me somebody said a bodybuilding dot com was it's probably more complicated than dylan just being a bit While he still may be a bitch, maybe he just wants to, like, humble brag that he lifted weights. I don't know. I'm going to brag about that.

That's what they're saying on the forum. Man. Anyway. Oh, hold on. He followed up. Again, want to reiterate the fact that he could still be a bitch. Let's do one for Dylan. Hey, guys, calling in for Dylan.

as a bro in stem I can kind of help you with your Don stuff have a master's in sports medicine certified trainer my thesis was actually on recovery specifically Dom's okay so yeah there's a lot you can do

I know how this is going to end day to day stuff before during after workout and after it could be immediately after and then there's stuff you can do later that night and the thing is because there's so many options there's no real silver bullet

for Dom's but you can kind of really what you want to do is first is just stop being a little bitch all right I knew how that was going to end even before Dave started to fucking crack

what does Dom stand for delayed onset muscle soreness yeah Dom's Dorns a major silly bitch The older I get, the less faith I have in politics in general.

It's getting ugly. Hey, I'll say it. They're all freaking close. I hate politicians, bro. I don't trust them, you know? Fuck, no, man. Yeah, man. That's why we need an honest hot dog in office.

Mm-hmm. Glitz 24. All right, let's wrap it up. Liz 24. Let's get Eddie. Are you running independently? I'm not, again, I'm not running. I have no qualification.

My resume is, it's media, and I do stupid jokes with you idiots. I have no platform. There's nothing. I'm not running. And if I were, I would just run as myself. There's a leader we need. Dude, we got to get that grimace endorsement. No, we don't need it because, again, I'm not running.

There's all this talk about C-Packs, aren't you sold in an eight-pack? A grimace endorsement. The torch has been passed from the grill. Of all the impersonations you do, JFK might be your best. But you barely bring it out. I don't think you realize the change that you could have on the world if you just ran for president as a hot-dock. Be good for best. business. Like, yeah, I don't get why. Like, we, we have a platform. Can I still do the show?

People have started with less. Yes. Can you imagine how successful our podcast would be if you were the president of the United States? That's true. And also a hot dog. Have you ever said anything as bad as grab them by the pussy? Yeah. Uh, not, not that a mic picked up, no. Okay, you're fine. Yeah, you'll be just fun. Jeez, your girls out of shit. Yeah, that dude, what? Are you under the age of fucking 75? That dude, what? Like, you're already in a good place. What a Billy Bush and Billy Bush. She's how to shit. He probably got silent hired by E again or some shit.

Oh, he's, he's, uh, yeah. Her entertainment tonight. Sheesh. Dude, what's his LinkedIn said? Have you ever been so horny that you said, sheesh? It couldn't be a Hawaiian. No. What are you trying to say?

I think I'm all in on Hawaiian pizzas, dude. Why is that specifically? Oh, here we go. Don't just look. I'm asking a little question. You know, you know why you're asking me. He knows why you're asking me. He knows why you're asking him.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I got some Hawaiian pizza. leftovers for lunch today. Most pizzas are very savory. Okay. But there's some, like when it comes to a Hawaiian-style pizza, which isn't even, you know, from Hawaii, it's from Canada, as we've learned, you know, you have that savor,

you have that salty, the Canadian bacon or ham, some even add some, you know, salty bacon or maybe even some pork belly to it. But what really drives at home for me personally is, The sliced pineapple. It adds a certain genocet croix, a sweetness to it. And when you try to boil down the reason that the pizza tastes so good, I think, you know, at its roots, it has to do with the juxtaposition. Of course, that makes sense.

Between the sweet and the salty. Yeah. The salty, the savory. What's annoying? This is one of those times where it actually is, a juxtaposition of flavors a lot of the times you guys are just absolutely reaching and talking to you dave i don't think you understand the word but that's okay i want his boys to be to like boycott this whatever this segment is where it's like where they go get monta they're like hey you

should come you got something for you see and i want me to be like no we're not doing this again we know what it's going to be let's not put them through this yeah right yeah his boys got to step up i love island there's always like a point in the season where someone leaves because they're not finding a connection or something. And I think the producers are kind of like, hey, like, yeah. You want to leave on your own accord? Yeah. Montoya needs someone in his corner and the producer team. Throwing the towel for him. Like, dude. No moss. Like, it's one thing to leave a reality show because you can't find a connection with anybody. It's a different situation when your girls just getting clapped trice times. Poor Montoya. I just been picturing like Herb Dean,

like watching a fight and the guy's on the ground just clearly not fighting back. And everybody's like, I stopped the fight. Joe's like, stop the fight. Stop the fight. Stop the fight. And he's just, like, waiting. He's like, eh. Yeah, he's had a tough show. What if they do, like, his boys do throw in a towel? Like, the producers, they literally throw in a towel, but it's the towel from... Oh, come on, man.

I think that's getting the point. That would be pretty sorry. These are sick people. The producers are very sick individuals. The producers are sick people to continue to put them through this. I know. She's been tempted. Get her off the show.

Yeah. The show works The island one Call it Yeah Stop the fight The island one No moss

If you're not having nighttime erections Your body is shut down critical functions So how are your critical functions Hoss? I think they're okay I'll get morning wood still You know Yeah

Why do you have to make it about that Because we were just talking about nighttime boners I know but something about how you said it It's just like It's off pudding That's not Like that's something your physician will ask you, because

like we're aging, right? It's like, yeah, I'll just talk about my testosterone levels, and my physician should have asked me like, well, do you get morning wood? Did he slap you on the show? Are you still getting rocked up, huh? It's a, it's a female, so she didn't talk to me like that. How did she say it? So do you get morning erections? Did you go

oh, yeah? I said, yes, ma'am, I do. She goes, okay, that's good. You said it real respectfully like that? Yeah, yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am, I get rocked up in the morning. I don't know what I said, but I indicated yes, that I do. She's not your commanding officer. Play another one. All right. Boy, just picked up some of the daff for the fam.

I want to head and slap that heated seat on to keep it warm on the way home. Got me thinking, you know, it'd be nice to have a warming tray or something in the car and keep your to go food warm on the way home. What's just absolutely ridiculous feature would you like to add to your car and get to your lifestyle? I mean, no. I'm just picturing an exhibit putting, like, heating lamps in the trunk. You eat way too much fast food If you need a heating lamp

For your phone Unless you're like driving Uber It just doesn't seem like something you should have So I came up with an idea the other day I was leaving Baldanucci's Dave's favorite restaurant Our old CFO Bald Danucci

Because he's because he's bald That's me dude Why I got to do Jay like that? He's the guy He's the guy He's got huge hands He'd beat the fuck out of me Are you guys ready for my

You guys ready for my invention Yeah I don't know what it's called yet Do you have a workshop name? We call it the P wedge, okay? It's called a P wedge. It's a wedge for pizza, and you put it in your seat so that when you put your pizza down on your drive home, your pizza stays level instead of slanting down into the seat. That's the Pledge.

Okay. I understand this. Again, I don't hate it. I feel like just open up the hatch, put it in the back. It's level. No, no, no, no. You got to have it next to you. You got to have it next to you.

You can have a sliding around in the trunk what are you talking about? Thanks. Buckle in. It's a little cute little pizza on your seatbelt. No, you need a pledge, my friend. I think you got to pledge it, dog. Dude. Yeah, we got a good poege class this year.

Oh, the poachers are crying. Oh. Tell me you wouldn't worst quench quest ever. Did one of your pledge brothers die? I think it could be small enough. Wow. Well, that's a poor way to handle that, I think. This is that.

Do we lose our charter? Oh, are we not going to be able to have our letters on the house for five more years? Wait, why is it, why is it a guy from the Northeast? Oh, we're going to move out of the house. Oh. Like getting brought up on manslaughter charges? Oh. Oh.

You know, there's alcohol. Oh, he died. We got to cancel. the Zeta Mixer? It's from the North the East. I don't know. Zeta mixer? I don't know.

It's just like, yeah, all these things are true. Yeah, we're done. You're going to jail. Maybe. Oh, my God. That's terrible. Kid lost his life. What is a wo?

You seriously don't know? Is it just like another name for a... Whoa. I think it's just your ab absolutes. Oh, okay. Your absos? Your abs. Yeah, Toronto is what I was thinking.

The lutes? Yeah. I mean the lute? No, babe, I can't put the kids to bed tonight. I'm going on my lutes. It's so stupid. You ever just go to the printer section and just like want to die? No.

I hate printers, man. Wait, what? Why do you hate printers so? Dude, printers suck. Printers do suck. Dude, connect, trying to connect with a printer. Like, oh, you need more toner. Like, what does toner even do?

Yeah. Oh, you want to replace a toner? Will that be $3,000? Yeah. And it's like, it's like, oh, I'm trying to print like a word document here with nothing on it besides words, and it's like, oh, you can't do that

because your yellow is running low. Like, fuck off. Yeah, this is... I'm not printing yellow. It's black ink. I only use printers with laser beans. Lasers. Dylan's out here at the dot matrix,

Epsom. Dude, I was out here thinking like a laser printer doesn't need ink, but it just does. It does? I thought about lasers. Yeah, laser printers

still require toner. It's not in there just like... Okay, that's different than ink because I just googled this. It says, unlike inkjet printers, laser printers don't use ink. Instead, they use toner. What's a difference?

I don't know. I literally just said, Toner is so expensive, man. It's stupid. I don't want to go to a store and just be like, hey, man, y'all got any toner? Yeah. There's always the rumors, too, like the Rod Stewart, Richard Gear. Rod Stewart, Gerbil, Richard Gear, stomach pump.

Lemmy winks. Because he had too many. He drank too much with his stuff. Maryland shouldn't drink. Of course, Marilyn Manson. Maryland Manson, yeah. I don't know that one. Oh, that one.

Look. You drink too much what? Exactly. Seamen? I really don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, that was the rumor. Okay. I've never heard that.

He had his stomach pumped. Dude, that was a rumor. Okay. It's just clogged up. Like a drain? Like Rod Stewart. He's just drinking it out of like a pine glass or something. Like, how do you?

Man, I think the implication was that he just had like a night that got away from him. Someone made a $100 donation to our fundraiser. Four? It said no city just vibes. But right before that, we got $100 for Seattle again. Oh, my God. I don't want people submitting just to submit. I want them to choose a city even if they don't have any skin in the game.

I kind of agree. I want them to ride for something. Yeah, if I think where the boys would have the most fun. Wouldn't you rather die standing up for what you believe in than live your life on your knees? Dude, Seattle would be dope. I'm just saying, dog. I agree. I can't stand the rain, though.

I can't stay in the rain. We'll take the ferry over there to Bainbridge, you know? I think that's what it's called. It's just fucking, just fucking. Is there a marine layer there? I don't know. I don't believe. I kind of don't believe in marine layers.

Oh, we know that. I want to get you a marine layer gift certificate for Christmas next year. Maybe we'll pop up Vancouver way. My favorite pants are marine layer. Hey, cool story, bro. Cool. Why do you get a world record for favorite pairs of pants, dude? Seems very subjective.

Yeah, we've never been the biggest boner on a podcast. How about that? fucking win that shit that's a good record fucking dork I'm sorry you didn't deserve what I just did there just like the pants

yeah yeah it's true they're khaki get ready to learn Seattle buddy because I'm not gonna learn Seattle I'm gonna land there I'm gonna get in an Uber it's gonna take me to my hotel

and then I'm gonna take Uber's everywhere else I don't think I need to learn the city you're gonna learn Seattle Buster does anybody have Ambien I've heard people have trouble sleeping there. He's doing a movie play. It's good. It's good.

No, I wish I had some ambient. That shit's dank. You hated a dab. They hate this. I'm back. Have you taken Ambien? Biggest boner on the pod. And guess who's stiff?

No, I've never taken one. I've heard people do weird shit. Yeah. Yeah. Well, you can. You hear like, there's always one story like, oh, yeah. She just chick took it and she like left her apartment and like went down to the corner and was like, turned into a call girl or something weird.

Or like got a chainsaw. Can you make you horny? I don't think so. I thought Ambien did make you horny. Isn't that like a tiger thing? Didn't he take Ambien and not go to sleep? You can make me horny, baby. People will take Ambien and just try to like fight the sleep part of it

so they can like hallucinate a little bit. But like it's not a pleasurable time. It doesn't sound fun. No, it's not. Like any time that's happened to me when I took Ambien, it was like terrible. It was like, no, all I want to do is go to sleep right now, but my brain is now in this weird headspace and I can't go to sleep. So no, it was always a bad thing. Don't abuse ambient. What if you just drank coffee and took an ambient? You'd probably be

Robotrick. That sounds like a really, really bad time. You won't. Don't do that at home. So Friday, I left work. Then I was driving home. And I turned onto my street. And there's a parking lot on my street. Zach Scott Theater, you know, right down there in South Lamar. Yeah, I'm just going to nod in an agreement that I do know. It's right there by that P. Terry. on Southamar. Sure. By your Barton Springs Saloon. I'm driving down the street.

Shout to Allen. Quiet street. This old man, I said 85 yesterday. He's probably not 80. He's old man. Old man with a mustache. Driving a sedan. He's about to pull out right in front of him.

He's kind of frantically looking both ways and then starts to pull out. And I gave him a courtesy beep, honk, just to let him know, like, hey, man, you might cause an accident if he pulled out in front of me. I'm going 30 miles per hour. you're right in front of me. He hears me, sees me, and then hits his break and hits me with the double birds. Love this. I'm like, okay, that seems a little unnecessary. I wasn't aggressive. And you know, like the length of a honk is how aggressive the honk is. What was the mustache? Like you lay on it? Sam Elliott type. No, it was a, it was a basic old man mustache. It looked like mine, but has some gray in it. Bigger fella? Small guy. Small old man.

Wouldn't fuck with them. So what I was saying is the honk, if you lay on a horn, that's a I gave him like a quick beep. Just a honk. Not a honker. Just to let him know. He didn't lay on it. Hey, there's a car coming. Here he is.

So I get, he's with the double birds. I'm like, I, dude, that was so unnecessary. And here's a move that I pulled it is where I probably shouldn't have. I pulled, I pulled off to the side, put the window down. Hmm. And I wasn't going to, I wasn't going to like curse the guy out. I was going to like, hey man, what's going on? Do you respect elders, Dylan?

I love, of course I do. So the guy pulls out, he turns the same way I'm going. He turns right. And he sees me, stopped, pulled over. He has to be with the double birds again and just scroot, pulls around me and gets in front of me. So it's full on, this is an incident at this point. This is road race. This is officially an altercation.

And I continued, he continues to drive down my street, and I am right behind him. And I give him, like, one of these, like, come on. Like, dude, really? Did you Pedro Martinez him? Just throw him to the ground. If he got out of the car and charged me, I wasn't going to strike this old man, you know, that he could die. Not that I'm like super strong, but he's an old man. Fragile.

Bag of bones, potentially. If you're going to flash your piece at a random guy out on the street, like you should be able to take a punch. Anyway, we're pulling down the street. Old guys should have guns, though. And after I hit him with a, are you kidding me? Like hands up. What's going on? I see him start to fumble around.

around in his console looking for his piece and I'm like what's this guy doing like what what could you be getting out of a console that's any good here for me no good comes from digging around in your console nothing like maybe some loose chain maybe he's got brass knuckles in there 9-11 doc maybe some nunchucks you know maybe a maybe a throwing star I don't know what he has in there but he pulls out his gun and just holds it up like that like I will use this on you did he fire off some warning shots I don't think his reaction matched the aggression that I was giving to him, which was very little. Luckily, I was right at my building and I just pulled into my parking garage and he kept going. So he was out of my life for me.

Man, he kind of, I bet he thought you were being a bitch. Like, oh, he got out of here. Yeah, that's right. See, the gun worked. He thinks he won this interaction. And honestly, he did. But how minor this was in the grand scheme of, you know, road rage, road aggression. I was I kept my cool the whole time

I didn't I didn't even get upset I was just like what are you doing I'm gonna tell you this though I've had I've had 12ish hours to to think on this this is on you bullshit to come on you rolled down your window

you rolled on your you rolled down your window to initiate like to escalate like to escalate wasn't getting out of the car no but you rolled it down so he all he sees is a stranger who he may acknowledge in his head or he may not because he's an old guy

that he did he fucked up in traffic he pulled out and cut you off he sees you slow down and roll down your window. He's probably thinking, uh-oh. Yeah. You thought you were about to spray the block. He thought I was going to get my piece out. Maybe maybe not, even if you don't pull out the chopper, like maybe you're about to talk some shit to him. I don't have a chopper in the view. Maybe I shouldn't. I choose to not discuss whether I do or don't. I'm sorry. He was just being American in practice in his second amendment right. Sounds like you don't like Texas, but I don't

think you're allowed to threaten people with a gun. He brandished the firearm. He pointed at you. He pointed at the, at the, at the, at the roof of his car. He just showed it. He didn't point it at you. That's a different story. Okay. Seems like you don't act like I'm in the wrong here. You, you escalated the situation from a minor traffic inconvenience. He started it and escalated. He made a mistake, though. He made a mistake. Double birds is not a mistake. That's a choice. No, but, okay, he made a mistake I meant by like pulling out and cutting you off. Like, people make mistakes in traffic all the time. Uh, you honked at him, which he may not have realized what he done. It was a friendly, like, it was a get your attention honk though. I know, and I know what you're saying, but

here's how long the honk was. That was it. Just a quick, like, hey, bud, I'm right here. Stop your car. Yeah, but-no collision. He may not even realize, he just knows someone's honking at him. Like, hey, up your ass, cowboy. You know how I handle road rage incidents?

You show him the arms? No, I go, everything okay at home, bud. You want to go get a drink when you talk about this? I hit him with the crybaby face. Yeah. Like that. Well, then he should have shot you. Yeah, that's, that's, you're lucky you kept that one, Holster.

Yeah, I didn't do that one. That might have been, we might have been doing a very different show today. I think once you pull out the cry baby It's Castle Doctrine on site I don't think that I don't think that applies Castle Doctrine He's an old man

He's a lot to do whatever he wants I'm not trying to hurt him I'm just making fun of him You heard his you heard his very being I didn't even do it But if he was living out of his car Would that be Castle Doctrine then? Oh I don't think so

So yeah I got a gun flashed at me On Friday First time in my life that's ever happened Ask me why I won't be going back to this Mexican food establishment, David? Why I want you to be going back to the Mexican food establishment that you referenced about, I'd say, 90 seconds ago? Do you know how much your boy loves a frozen margarita?

I don't order on the rocks. I just don't do it. I'm a frozen guy through and through. I love them. I feel like you get a better value. They last longer. They're delicious. I love them so much.

This place didn't have a frozen mark. You kidding me? You can't go to Target and buy a blender and just throw the shit in there and blend it up. What are we doing? Make it make sense. Make it make sense. Wait, hold on. And so that turned me off a little bit.

Make it make sense. That turned me off a little bit, Randy. You know your boy likes a frozen margarita. Say something, bitch. What did it show you ask for it? Or is it just not on the menu? I looked at the menu, and I didn't see it. And I said, you guys have a frozen?

And she was like, ah, sorry, we don't do that here. I said, oh, sorry, I won't be coming back. Did you really? I didn't say that. She was actually trying to get by. She was lovely. She was a great, a great server. Is she the one that you got her Instagram at and sent it out to the group?

No, stop. It didn't happen. Let's make a wash media hydration chart. Randy, can you make it? Thank you. Thanks, Randy. Can you use actual P color samples from your own just to customize a little bit more? Sure, sure.

I'm pretty sure I actually have. What's the hex code for your hangover piece? I don't know. Don't take this the wrong way. I could see you having fucked up piss. You want to come see it? Is your piss fucked up? No, my piss is fine.

I have fine piss. It's championship level piss. Don't talk shit about my piss. Why are you so defensive about your piss? I'm not. You're not a real pisser. I'm a real pisser. Can we stop talking about piss?

Oh, man. How old's Camilla? Like, what if Camilla was the one that farted? And she's blaming it on Sleepy Joe. No, you don't do that. No blame you. Well, you're kind of the royal expert here. Is she still with Prince Charles?

Yeah, she is. Dude, I brought our former president calling him Sleepy Joe, and he's like, actually I hear he's like falling asleep. Yeah, he's straight out of out of your sleeping. Like, dude, I'm sorry, but like, like, if you give me a nickname, like, if you give me a nickname, like, Smelly Will, I'm not going to show up. There's got to be one thing that I'm not going to do it. He's got up.

One thing you can't do is sleep. You got to inject me with the anterol. You got to keep me going. Yeah, if the orange man calls me sleepy Dylan, like, I'm doing whatever I can to stay awake at all time. Like, we call Brett, big game Brett, and like, he doesn't have any small games anymore. That's not what he does. This next segment is called Dylan's Run In with a city construction worker. Again, going in blind, don't know.

This happened this morning. I walked in the office about four or five minutes late because South Lamar is an absolute joke. Rennie, do you hear this story earlier? I got in right as Dylan was done telling the story. This is unbelievable. I had to run it. All right. So my street, there's construction, this construction has been going on all week in my street.

They're moving down the street. Barton Springs? Sorry, I can say that. I don't live on Barton Springs. I live near it. I want to say the street. I'm just curious what part. I'm trying to visualize.

It's around Barth Springs. Okay, okay. And the construction segment, which is only about 100 yards total in length, they have it blocked off down to one lane. So they have flaggers on either end. You've seen everyone seen this before with a little sign that says stop on one side and slow on the other. Oh, yeah.

And each guy has a walkie-talkie, and they communicate back and forth with each other and went to flip it. The thing is, it's such a short run of construction. You can see the other end of it very clearly. It's just 100 yards away. And so I'm pulling up to it. And the sign said, stop, because there were cars about to drive, you know, past the one lane. So I'm waiting there and the car's clear.

And the guy's on the walkie-talkie, right, like feet from my car, trying to walkie the other guy saying like, hey, I'm going to flip the sign. And the other guy wasn't paying attention. He was, he couldn't get the guy to respond to him. And I was sitting there like, dude, it's clear. It's clear. And I give him about 10, 15 more seconds to get this guy's attention. He wouldn't do it.

So I'm like, all right, I'm just going to go. because there's no one coming. It's wide open for me. So I start to drive away. The guy freaks out. Which guy freaks out? The guy right in front of me. Okay.

The guy with the sign freaks out. He takes this sign and hits my car with it and drags it along the side of my car and starts yelling at. I'm like, dude, that's an insane response to what just happened here. I look in the rearview mirror. This is no joke. He takes his walkie talking. He throws it at my car from about a.

75 feet away. He just fucking, he left hand and he just fucking chunks it at my car. I'm like, what the fuck are you doing? He broke, they break the walkie? He didn't hit my car. He missed my car completely. He throws his walkie-talkie at me. I'm like, what in the world is going on in your brain that this was the appropriate response to what I was just doing? Okay, but so the car, I assume there were some cars behind you. No. Oh, so you did. I was the only one on either side of the stopped traffic. Okay. It was wide open. I'm just going to go. Like the guy's not paying attention. It's clear. Sorry, which guy was, was it your guy not paying attention?

No, the guy on the other end of the walkie talk. He couldn't get his attention to let him know he's going to flip the sign. Because they always communicated back and forth. So he threw his walkie at me. Did anybody else, any of the other construction workers noticed? They didn't even, they had no idea. I was, I stopped a car. I'm like, what the, what is going on here? The dude just fucking freaked out. And he probably busted his walkie talkie. I can't imagine that thing is still in working condition. How insane is that? So that happens.

car with this sign, drags it across the side of it as I'm driving away. I'm like, that did not just happen. I look in the, look in the room and mirror to see how upset this guy was and he just fucking, whewh. Yeah, at that point, like, you got to hold on to your walkie-talkie. What a, what a fucking psycho. I love it, though. What a psycho. I didn't know whether it be mad or just laugh, and I had like a kind of a mixed reaction of the two. Yeah, that's tough, man. I, I, I'm more upset about him dragging the sign across the call. I know. I, I look, when I got here. I looked at my car and there's no sign of the sign hitting my car anywhere. I mean, you should have waited. Yeah. Dude, I don't think you're completely in the right here, but it wasn't overreaction

for sure. I probably should have waited. Like, I'll, I'll give you that. But it was clear. Like, I'm not going to go. Not only was it clear. Like, there were, I was, that was the only car on the entire road at this point. Like, it was not, it was wide open clear. I was posing zero danger to anyone. What kind of construction are we talking? Like, what was the risk for you, a vehicle? They're tearing up sidewalk and doing something with the pipes down there and then relaying the concrete down. Okay. I'm ripping up rebar.

I don't know what they're doing. I'm going home for lunch. I'm going to be pulling down the same street. Oh. You're alive. And I'm wondering if the guy's going to recognize my vehicle and say something. He might have been relieved. I don't know.

He might have been relieved of command. I'm pretty sure no one saw it happen and the rest of his crew didn't see it happen. He's probably just going to keep the secret. And he's got to explain why his walkie-talkie's busted. You got to be nice to the next guy. You know, one of the hardest jobs is filling in, like the next man up when they relieve somebody of their duties, the next person to fill those shoes, they got a big job on their plate.

They got to create a new culture. Dude, they put the spares on the sign duty, though. Dude, half the time, because there's always like, that happens, I would say once a month over in the Zilker neighborhood behind us. And I'm a cut through guy. I like to get off Amar as soon as possible. And dude, the dude's always got his phone in one hand to sign the other. And I was like, all right.

It's a total spare job. It's just like, yeah. I think they like getting that, that assignment. Like, oh, I don't know, man. I would want to pass a time with the equipment. They're walking back and forth. Like, hey, you see this chick that's walking? 100%.

Absolutely. Oh, that's a perv alert. Yeah, it's a perv alert job. They're just, yeah, they're just holding a sign all day. Yeah. Anyway, it was pretty funny. It's weird. They call that job like the guys holding the signs.

They call them to Randy. Yeah. That's not true. Oh. They don't call them that, David. What a fucking psycho, man. Throw something. Pick up a rock and throw it.

Don't throw your walkie-talkie, idiot. Was it like one of those good walkie-talkies, too? I don't know. Like those heavy-duty black ones? It wasn't heavy-duty. It wasn't like military grade with a big antenna. It was just like a... I've been tied if they called in a drone strike on your ass.

I don't think they have the authority to do that. Well, like, that's your response to me doing that? Chill out. Mate, shout at me. Yeah. Hey, hey. How old was this person? 40? Okay. 40, about my age.

I could have handled him in a confrontation. I don't know. This guy sounds like he didn't give a damn about nothing. I could have tuned them up if I wanted to. Dude, I hope when you're going through this next time, they throw out the spikes, the road spikes. Yeah. Should I say something to him on the way back through or just let it be? No. You should not. Hey, man.

Unless you're apologizing. I say, hey, how's your walking, bro? That's what I should say. No, don't rub it in. What a fucking freak. And they probably had to wait. They probably had to wait for Tommy Tough Knuckles to bring a new walkie down. Oh, I should do the six and a half foot chains.

You need to keep your windows rolled up. Honestly, you might want to, like, put on some glasses and a mustache. You already got a mustache. I'll put on a mustache. You might want to, like, Grand Theft's Auto, just get a new paint job on your car. I could take a different route home, but I don't think I want to. You should, if you really want to fuck with these guys, which you shouldn't, be nice to construction workers. you should go get candy paint job and just drip candy all over the fucking works on it'd be so sick be

costly prank to pool but it'd be a good one I don't know if you have time yeah the shop's like I we gotta let it dry it's gonna take a few hours like no I'm good to go right now or what if you disable your muffler you just go through their loudest fog yeah that'd be good they're like so they would be like oh this is definitely swing that thing through they're like there's no way this is the same guy I can sit sideways all the way through you should ghost ride it through the construction. Oh my God. This guy's got...

Get back in the car, sir. This guy's got a quick trigger, man. There's no way I'm the first person to do that. To, like, miss the sign or just roll through it or just, you know, not completely obey his orders. He can't be doing that to everyone who doesn't, you know, perfectly obey the signage. Yeah, but this guy has one job and you just completely dismissed his job.

You're right. I was like, look, I'm not going to take you seriously, bud. You're the sign holder. I'm just going to go. I'm just going. There's no, that's it, one way in, one way out. You have no option. No, I could take a different route home.

Yeah, but don't do it. I want you to go back through. I want you to see what happened. Yeah, I will. I'll get back to you all on it. Dude, the worst one of these, in my opinion, is when you shake someone's hand and they hang on for longer than you hang on. So like the first second of it, it's like one firm pump and then you just go limp in their firm hand. No, the worst is when it's an old person, you can feel their big-ass knuckles that are just riddled with, like, disease.

Just chilling in your hand Riddled with disease They got their arthritis knuckles Just chilling in your hand For like five minutes at church While you're just shaking it like Yeah, good to see you too But two long handshakers are

They need to go to a class on handshakes I'm gonna start being the guy That grabs the forearm while I shake the head It's one firm pump and you let go Anything beyond that You're just asking for trouble One firm pump and then you let go Yeah it's all right

Boom let go Move on with your day It's like McConaug and your detective Don't hang on too long. You're trying to alpha the person if you hang on too long. They're going to go limp in your hand. You're like, oh, yeah, I just alphaed you. It's a cocky play.

It's the guys who come in a little bit stealth. I try to hit you really like that you got to be careful of because, you know, you want to bring in. If you're going like a good debt, you got to show it like a couple feet out before you're within contact so they know to prepare for debt. KJ just texted he won't be able to do too much dip because his company is unrolling a new HR system. That's some corporate bullshit right there. Yeah. Unrolling a new HR system. You got to go to training all day?

I mean, baby, yeah. He's got a legit job. What is this? He doesn't work here at the fart house or whatever this is. The one we have in place works pretty well. But I want to optimize. Well, let's go out this weekend. There's a new HR system happening.

Yes, it does. Have you ever had any HR complaints that weren't rectified? I'm pretty sure that I have two HR complaints on sticky notes on your desk still. right now. See, you should have read the memo because that's not how you submit an HR request. Oh, okay. Rectify. Yeah, it's a good word. It is, but it's too close to rectum. Only to you guys. I thought it was too close to

erection. It's a pretty normal word. Erectify. That's the thing with y'all. Well, most of the HR complaints will be about his buttocks. Here's the thing. When I have something to say, if I'm going to deliver just a regular sentence and just like everyday conversation around you guys, I have to make sure I don't use the word cum, C-O-M-the-F? Because you guys just get pervy immediately.

Hey, why don't you submit a complaint to HR? Can't use rectify? Yeah, but you have to understand the, that's funny because the bit is that the HR complaints would be mainly you sexually harassing Randy about his dump truck ass. And so rectify is so close to rectum. Oh, let me check my file, the Dillon file. Hold on. My knuckles don't pop like yours.

Don't say the Dillon file. That sounds like a, it sounds like a new category. There's nothing in the Dillon file, so he's clean. I like thinking that Dylan's just submitting HR reports to himself about what he's mad at us for being too sexual. I have a long list of grievances. They interrupted my story about... About the new telescope. Yeah, y'all do the all the fucking time.

More on that later. Not me. That was Will. But we'll see. Maybe later. Dylan Shivery, did you already do your thing? Yeah, I did my shit, man. You can move on to whatever the next dumb shit you got to talk about is.

Should we do this first one? Yeah, here we go. Hey, boys, quick question for you here. Let's say you're taking a girl out. It's one of your first few dates, and you get a top golf. Do you absolutely just send piss missiles down the range the entire date, or do you shank a few here and there just to ease up on her a little bit? I'll hang up and listen.

No, you send piss missiles, dog. I think you do nothing but piss missiles. How do you not send piss missiles the entire time? You just spray that back net, man. Yeah, get out the three wood and just litter the back mat. You're missing the most important thing. Make sure you bring your clubs. Make sure you bring your own clothes.

Bring your full set and wear your glove and change into golf shoes. Yeah, definitely. Tuck your shirt in. If you're trying to impress her, you're not going to do it with chip shots. Like, she doesn't care about that shit. She doesn't care if you're flopping into the 25-yard one. She wants to see if the dude can deliver on a piss missile. The only, like, yeah, the only move, if you're on a first date at Top Golf is just absolutely

drilling the net. Imagine some dude going up there and grabs the clubs and starts warming up with like a nine iron. He's just hitting like little pitch shots. What the fuck is this, Jabroni? That guy's going home alone. That dude stinks. There won't be a second day, though.

Is going to top golf on a first date too expensive for you? What is it going to send me back like $120? Something like that? They're ruling out a bottle of wine, which is where a lot of dates go south. Cost-wise. We might be dating ourselves. here. I get the vibe that our younger listeners. I'll date

you. I'll date both at the same time. Triple date. I get the vibe that our younger listeners don't do full dinner dates anymore. I don't think the kids are doing that these days. Really? I think they're doing drinks. I think they're just doing drinks these days. First date for me is usually just drinks. It should be. I think it should be just drinks.

But if you look at my history, I'm not a just drinks guy on the first date. I pulled trig on dinners or apps or something like that. These young kids don't respect nothing. I feel like it's just a flex to do, like, the full meal and cover the tab and just get out of there. I feel like it's a nice gesture. It's a commitment to go to full meal. Because drinks, like, all right, let's go get a couple drinks and fill it out.

If we're into each other, then we'll do a second day. If not, we'll just be done with it. When do piss missiles come into the equation, though? Pissmills, like, three or four days a day, 10, you go piss missile on her. Man, I don't know. I feel like piss missiles, like off the rib, man, like, first day. I've never had a date at Top golf before, so. Yeah, probably good for you.

I'm a piss missile guy. Right. damn it Dylan you freaking idiot that's exactly how I sound on the golf what am I doing today come on man can't believe I came out here

with my ID and the TSA agent and I see the lines like sometimes they'll just direct you like go to that line I will look at the lines and survey and be like okay family of four old people get behind the young couple business business woman with a carry on and expensive purse I'm going to get behind her

she's done this before and she's going to be fast as hell Yeah. Yeah, that's added benefit of TSA pre-check that it's not, it's a shorter line and everyone there knows what you're doing. Yeah. And you don't take your shoes off. Yeah. What do you think of these new croissant-looking machines?

Yeah, they're weird. In the airport, much more aggressive. They've replaced all the security machines in the Austin Airport, these things that look like croissants. And now they're like every airport. What do they do differently? They're just much more. Well, you know, the great thing about them is that they're much slower than the old ones.

They show much more on the thing. I get on the screen, I guess, but I don't know much about it. How much radiation am I getting? I don't know. What's that blast power? Hard to say. How hard do y'all hit the stance when you have to do this? Dude, I used to...

I fucking post... I'm not kidding. When that stuff first started, like, to protest, I would throw a bird, like a subtle bird, double. No, you wouldn't. Yes, I would. Dude, I hit him. I look at that dude on the wall, and I just...

Start doing bits. I hate airport security. sir I'm out on I'm not putting jalapenos in my margaritas I'm telling you that forever and you finally want to listen to me

No no no no I think we've been in agreement For longer than you're giving me credit for What are you saying? Spiciness does not belong in a cocktail man I could see myself doing it If it's like a really cold night And I'm at Mad El Ranchos Halapeno

Sometimes you can be a bitch ass white wine Alapeno margaritas are just not good They're not good They hit once in a while But like I don't understand The people that can do it every time I felt like an absolute dumbass. I was at a wedding party, like a pre-wedding party.

It wasn't like the rehearsal dinner, but it was just like all the people that got into town for the wedding, went to a bar and whatever. And I looked over at my friend. This was like before I realized people were spicing their drinks with jalapenos at all. And I looked over at my friend and I was like, yeah, like at this restaurant I go to in Austin, they actually put jalapenos in the drink to spice it up. And she looked to me and she goes, yeah, a lot of restaurants do that. I was like, okay. Glad I traveled into town for your wedding. I'll go fuck myself in the bathroom.

You thought you were Texas guy with your... I was a big old Texas guy. We do it different down there in Texas, brother. All right, let's move on to the first trivia about coffee. Free response. I'll open up to multiple choice if you don't know it. What country is the top producer of coffee? What country is the top producer of coffee?

We're three points right now. I am asking for the Wi-Fi. It is guest Wi-Fi number two. I forgot to charge my headphones. I do not know the answer, but I took an educated guess. I misgendered the barista. Okay, that's good. It would be funny to do a modern day.

We got something. It was good, you. It was fun now. So you could never see yourself ever, like, you know, let's say washed media 10 years from now. like we got bought out you know we made a bunch of money that we can come to like maybe you made some investments and you could kind of take some time off but you wouldn't take time off and go try to like do a little this like heady shit absolutely not no not with a kid I would I would like buy a house in the mountains and ski and shit like that what if you could what if you could take

what if you could take roads man with you and you did like you did a summer somewhere where you just kind of like went off the grid for the summer with the fam and you had a yoga journey every morning and you just try to eat food that you were harvesting yourself I feel like that would be kind of fun for a little bit. And drink your peepee. It'd be a little like... Do I have to drink peepee? You don't have to drink pee pee.

I'll be honest. If you told me that there is a scenario where drinking pee, if it gave you, like, let's say, like, I don't know, it had some help benefit. It was like really, really dope. Like helped you, like, put on muscle real quick or something or burn fat. There's a scenario where I would consider drinking pee. Stop. I'm not doing it. I have no desire.

You'd be the pee guy. Yeah. Once you drink. You're just don't tell anybody about it. I'm not telling you. Once you drink your pee, you're the pee drinker. Like, dude, Dave's jacked like overnight. What's even doing drinking piss?

Yeah, but now I know that if you start getting jacked out of nowhere, I'm going to be like he started drinking his piss. Oh, damn it, Dave's on that pee-pee shit right now. I'm just going to assume all the jack dudes at Lifetime are just drinking piss. I do assume they're all on the juice. Next time I'm in the sauna with a bunch of dudes, like rib dudes, I'm like, so who's had their piss today? You guys doing the pee-pee thing? You guys heard about this?

To be clear, he did not do it for muscle mass. I don't really know what the... It doesn't really get into the science, the thinking behind drinking pee. Just some kind of Nepalese... Later in the article, whoever wrote it, was talking about how there's no, like, scientific evidence that drinking urine helps you in any way. Sounds like that guy's a shill for big pharma. Yeah.

Maybe. He does hit our guy, Morgan. The guy who interviewed him talked about how his gums were receding because he dipped a bunch in, like, high school college or whatever. Tfm. And then Hoffman was like, well, if you just switch pee around in your mouth, like, every day, it'll fix that very quickly.

Yeah. I'm going to need a little bit more than that to put the pee in my mouth. You got to think it won't. You're going to tell the Kung Fu Master who lives up the hill that? Are you going to tell him that? I'm not going to trust the pee-pee guy on, you know, health advice. Sorry. You know, because he drinks his pee-pee.

It sounds like you don't have the perspective that he has. I don't. You're on the grid not drinking pee. You are not the same. You're right. I drink water and beer and shit. You drink shit. I drink heavy red wine.

Isn't that? That's what I mean by Hannibal. Hannibal bar, I assume it was like fool-man shoe. Yeah, that's a fool-man shoe. Yeah. Handel bar is up here, right? I just considered those circus mustache. I don't know.

I was just going to Google Handelbar mustache and we'll see what Google would just say. Who's the villain in the Sonic movies? Dr. Eggman? Yeah. Handlebar mustache. That's what I mean. I don't mean a foo man. Okay, I guess.

That's a handlebar? So I guess, but we're getting here. So, yeah, I always thought handibar was this. No, I just always called that a foo man. But yeah, you're saying handlebar. Yeah, that kind of handlebar. Yeah, I guess you're right here. You got to wax that issue.

I just really can't have a conversation with either of these people. I can't either. It's just too much. What are you trying to improve, man? Like that guy. That guy's not getting any hose, isn't it? No. I'm not talking to that.

Zero hoes. If I show up it, my buddy is like bachelor party that I haven't talked to in a while. And he's like got his high school boys there. And one of them is there with that. I'm like, fuck, I'm going to go off and do my own thing. I'm not talking to this guy. I'm not going to dinner with that guy. I don't want to get to know him.

I don't want to get to know him. He might be a great guy, but I'm never going to find out. I don't want to be like in group photos with them. And also like if we're out and about at bars, I don't want like people being like, oh, you're wrong with that crew. Dave, I noticed you got a handle bar in the group. What's going on, man? Yeah, I don't know, man. I've gotten into a show at Barrett's recommendation.

Barrett was talking about, we had Barrett fill in last Monday, I believe. We were looking for, he was looking for shows to do for his show, OCC. And we're talking about TV, hijack. Idris Elba. I'm so glad you said this. And I'm about halfway through it, and I'm loving it. The Michigan boys, okay, have all been watching hijack. And I am so excited to start hijack.

Dude. I have to finish the finale of the bear, and I have to finish the finale of Love Island. And once those are done, I got news for you guys. It's Jack, it's time to Jack, baby. Can you give me a 10-second rundown of what the hell the show's about? There's a dude named Jack, and he sits on a bench, and everyone walks by, and it's like, yo, dude, hi. I feel like that's not what it's about.

It's about, I'll just give you the real answer. There's so many jokes we could do. but it's about a hijacking it's about where you hit your weed pen when your wife's out of town and you get on the couch and you think oh I regret asking you guys about the show that you guys are telling me about it's like really making me want to watch it's it's basically the mile

high club but with your right hand that you've been sitting on for half the flight okay oh that sounds interesting I can't watch that you know because like most flights are at like 50k 50,000 feet that's like most of them are fly at like 35 oh okay it's like when you get a flat tire like on this highway and you get the jack out and you start doing it like a bunch and then like suddenly your car's like above your head and you're like

oh i did that too high you ever have a buddy with a floor jack you ever had an issue and you can just bust that out that's so aggressive it's so aggressive but it's it's so much nicer than having the little dinky one that's in the in your trunk you got to get that floor jack all been there i've never done a floor jack i usually use the bed this is more jack and off humor brought to you by the circling back podcast uh it's about idris elba and he's on a point that gets hijacked okay thank you david which i mean he said it's about edra's elbow i feel like it's not about the actor he's the main character right so okay but you're saying he's not playing himself uh no he plays sam nelson with number 19 19 uh oh okay this is fun i like what you're doing here

playing uh excuse me pretend that didn't happen playing your bachelor at party ooh hold on hold on hold on oh he's um budding oh showing some skin some or some cleave

I'm getting fucking mad sexy with it dude we're I'm gonna we're dressing crazy slutty on mine on mine yeah like if you're not showing a lot of skin I'm gonna make you go change

first of all I want to put this out of we're not doing Nashville no Nashville is off the table. Randy? I don't agree to it. I might do Nashville. Dude, I was at I was at Tootsies in Nashville and I counted no bullshit on one floor. That's a three story bar. It's massive. On one floor, I counted 22 bachelorette parties. No joke. You can tell because they have all the sashes and like the wigs and the crazy shirts. Do you talk to anybody? Do you mix it up? I did talk to some gals from a bachelorette party. I was single at the time, actually. Chasing the muff around. I was chasing a little muck.

Chasing the muff around. I did talk to a young lady who was on a Bachelorette party. Oh, yeah? Not the Bachelorette, one of her gals. Yeah, it's weird because Austin's such a destination too, and you go out and you'll see like a bunch and Nashville just blows out of the water with how many Bachelorette parties in there. It's crazy. I want to do a water activity.

And by that, I mean like a, I want to do like a nice boat trip. Like maybe a sailboat or not like a party boat, not like the party boat. Not like the party boat that we rent People rent here all the time So you're talking coast Yeah I want to do coast I'm going I think I'm going west coast Okay

I think I might be doing like SoCal I think I might be doing No I'm not gonna say San Diego Yeah you want to go I was thinking I might do Because I'm boogey as F You are you're a boozy little Boogey little bitch

I'm the busiest bitch you'll ever meet I think I might do La Jolla Okay I might do like Newport All the way down Like La Jolla somewhere in that region Okay Does that check out?

Yeah. La Jolla is closer to San Diego. Well, yeah, it's a part of San Diego. Whatever. They run into each other. Just let me fucking,

let me just, it's my weekend. I'm not going to say San Diego, but I'm going to La Jolla, which is a part of San Diego, he says. Classic Dave. I'm like,

I've kind of grown out of San Diego. You're also the most predictable bit you ever meet. Yeah, right. Emphasis on. You've got to go to San Diego. I'm probably going to go to like Miami, you know,

film behind the DJ and stuff, you know, really show that if a good time. We're going to Vegas. I'm not doing Miami. We're doing Vegas, baby, for my bachelorette party. All right. Okay. Night one, we're going to hit a club and we're going to dress mad slutty and we're going to get free drinks all night.

And one of us is going to hook up with a dude, one of us. She's going to sneak back into the room at like 6 a.m. I'm going to steal his shirt or his hat. She's going to steal his, yeah, something of his chain. Maybe it's chain. Okay. Snatch his chain? That's a little bit more like, because the guy she hooks up with is going to have a chain on.

It's Vegas. It's a Vegas club. Come on. Okay. We're getting free drinks because we're hot and we're dressed. We're churnalaskin. Oh, yeah. Mine are dumped out, straight off.

Oh, yeah. Or I'm dumping them out. I got the glitter lotion they put on, you know. Yeah. They're popping. The girls are popping. I'm taking bathroom mirror selfies. I get every stop.

Oh, yeah. Like there's going to be like a stall visible in the background and it's not going to matter. Because that looks so good. You're not going to notice that toilet. I'm going to have all my bad bitches around me too when I'm doing it. Are you going to do the shameless thing of posting on your Instagram story, buy a drink for the Bacheloret and just have your Venmo out there? Nope. No.

Because we don't need to like we're getting free drinks. We're so bad that it doesn't even matter. Next day we're going to a pool party. Yep. Some kind of fucking DJ. Maybe Martin Scrillix is there and just fucking spinning. David Gera. He's going to shout out my family.

Maybe marshmallows there, just fucking up there, just fucking on the... Marshmallow. On the ones and twos. Maybe hologramovici. Ooh. Can you imagine? Yeah. Sick.

Then we're going to... We're going to eat seafood. We're going to rent some kind of scooter or something, and we're going to tear it, just go up the strip. You're not going to catch me on a scooter and heels. With giant margaritas in our baskets with big straws that connect to us. And we're just going to sip our giant margaritas and drunk scoot down the strip. I'm going to loudly. at dinner, get pictures, and, like, order shots and call everybody at the table bitches.

We're going to squeal. You know how girls just- Go, bitches. You know when they get excited, they just squeal really loudly. It's going to be just one long squeal the entire fucking weekend. Oh, my God. You know how girls do when they get excited. They squeal. Let's go, bitch.

You didn't call everybody bitch at dinner. I wish this was a 10 minutes. I have much more to say on this, but we can't because that's breaking the rules. You're such a bitch. Shh, can't do anymore. All right, bye-bye. Bye. I'm going to be able to be.