Circling Back - Circling Back's Greatest Hits, Volume 2

Episode Date: November 25, 2025

We're super thankful for all you backers out there! Enjoy this second volume of greatest hits from Circling Back and share it with a friend or cousin this holiday season! Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.youtube.com/washedmedia⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ Shop Washed Merch: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠www.washedmedia.shop⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ (2:52) Feeling Sendy (9:30) Roback Ad Read (12:55) Lord Of The Rings (15:43) D-Man (16:13) Cheesecake Factory (22:41) Brent Rooker Piss Jobs (24:10) Bag Of Bones with a 50 (25:45) Later (26:53) Frat King (27:52) Lawyer, Doctor, Therapist (29:27) Big Ol Hog (30:22) Chet Part 1 (32:49) Chet Part 2 (36:44) Drip (37:30) El Glizzadente / Q-Anon (44:34) Parades (47:47) Kimchi (53:11) 23 & Me (59:27) Catfish Support This Episode’s Sponsors: Rhoback: https://rhoback.com/ (WASHED20 for 20% off for the Holidays!) Squarespace: Check out ⁠⁠https://squarespace.com/steam⁠⁠ for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, use OFFER CODE: STEAM to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Harry’s: our listeners can get the Harry’s Plus Trial Set for only $10 at ⁠https://harrys.com/STEAM⁠ Aura Frames: Exclusive $45-off Carver Mat at ⁠⁠⁠https://on.auraframes.com/CIRCLING⁠⁠⁠. Promo Code CIRCLING Underdog Fantasy: Download the app today and sign up with promo code STEAM to score ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS in Bonus Funds when you play your first FIVE dollars – that’s promo code STEAM Must be 18+ (19+ in Alabama & Nebraska; 19+ in Colorado for some games; 21+ in Arizona, Massachusetts & Virginia) and present in a state where Underdog Fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com/web/PlayandGetTerms_DFS_.html for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, Ohio, and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit www.ncpgambling.org. In New York, call the 24/7 HOPEline at 1-877-8-HOPENY or Text HOPENY (467369) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dude, I used to fuck with Rob Zami. I had a little face. Oh my gosh, skibbitty toilet. What are you smirking about, Randy? You want to say something to my face? You've seen Kevin Bacon's penis. You get over it. I will never get over England.

I love them. Use promo code much dip. Of course, I know what that is, but people at home might not. Guinea Peeves, blame boners? I don't hate it. Hey, look at me. Look at me in the eyes. I'm that fucking bitch.

Is that bitch? You are that bitch. Wow, I can't believe the holidays. are already here. Man. It's the best time of year, Dave. It's the most wonderful time. Looking forward to Thanksgiving, you know?

I'm looking forward to just coming over to your house and putting my boots on your coffee table and seeing how you like it. You know what? I would welcome that. I would welcome the rough family walking in, hanging out. You putting your little shit up on my shit. You're such a hunk of trash. Okay.

Anyway, happy Thanksgiving to everyone. And we really hope you enjoy. Best of Circling Back, Volume 2. Volume 2. You know, Randy, you get a lot of shit, but I am really thankful for our listeners. And Dylan. Thanks. Yeah, man.

Dave's got nothing for me. I'm just here. Dave just took a sip of his, what was at? Celsius. I'm doing an NRC. You know what that is? Uh-uh. So no reason Celsius.

Okay. I just opened the fridge and it just was like, yeah. I was like, all right. Where did the tropical one come from? It looks like the tropics. Yeah. It was in the thing that Carly brought. Son of a bitch.

Carly. Carls, we're still recording. Yeah. Oh, you've really given up. That's fucking splashed. You've really given up right now. Yeah. Well, here it is.

Look, I'm just ready for the holiday. This is the best of. This is the best we can do. You send this to your friends. They're going to like it. I guarantee you. And if they don't, Mandy at washmedia.com.

No, don't, but let us know. Share it with your friends. Talk about it with your cousins at the Thanksgiving dinner. Say, like, hey, it's my podcast. I mean, I got volume one and volume two to send you. Yeah, when you go on your walk with your cousins after dinner, you know, or a lot of people smoke weed. Or you don't hook up.

You hook up with your cousins. What? Yeah, send it to your friends that are flying home for, don't put that in. For Thanksgiving. You don't put that in. Yeah, go ahead and hook up with your second cousin. That's exactly what you're not supposed to do, yeah.

Hook up with your cousin. Do not put it in. If they're distant, maybe you don't listen to your paw. A little bit. All right. I'm leaving this in, Dylan. Don't like get in there. Your friends are going to be traveling for the holidays.

Send them this. Enjoy. And tell them Dave sent you. Dylan sent you too. Nah, you don't send you, you've never sent it. You've never sent it. Don't put the cousin part in. Bye.

Enjoy it. So I bought a giant pitcher. It's a big dog. Yeah. It's really. johnson style big big unit yeah anyway uh producer randy over there hi dave i'm not the big unit i've never killed a bird with a baseball he did do that yeah that is a he exploded a bird with the baseball yeah at least he was over quick for the bird that bird did not see that coming

no does you don't you don't you don't fly it through the the pitching path of the big unit that's just it's just a bad that's what that's like bird 101 that's a bad beat for that bird a bad beak no You didn't have to do it. No, don't. No, no, no. It's good, right? Oh, gosh. Randy, you feeling Bendy today?

I'm not feeling Bendy. I'm not feeling sandy, but not Bendy. Whole squad, feel a little Cindy today. It's going to be a good one. Good. All right, well, Randy, that's great stuff from you. Hey, you're welcome. Here's a guy you can always count on for real good stuff.

Bill and Shivery. Happy to be here. Do you guys enjoy these videos that are like you catch some, someone watching out of a apartment building's like, hey, what do you do? And how much, how much you pay for rent here? Nope. The clearly staged ones. No, we really don't enjoy them at all, actually.

We just looked at one on Friday. They're so dushy. Randy sent me one and the guy they were talking to lived in Austin. And here's the, here's what set it apart. Dude, he was doing it from the freaking coal plunge. That's the one I have pulled up right now. Yeah, I was just served this one. Awesome, man.

Yeah, that one, it was, it's hilarious. one of the comments was oh the guy that moved from california that lives on rainy and thinks it's great doing a cold plunge this is what everyone in austin loves awesome culture is skewing rather dushy these days isn't it the guy door dashes every meal sick in this 4800 a month apartment but yeah i don't really like those videos no they're pretty duch they're hard to like not watch though because it's like i do kind of want to see what this dude's expensive apartment looks like in downtown austin but i don't want to deal with him is that guy that guy so I couldn't make it past the cold punch he's on rainy yeah yeah I had a friend who

lived on rainy you did too I don't want to reverse dox him it was Klein oh he lived on rainy at like the very very end of rainy right before it really fell off rainy was still getable oh I thought I'm the end of the street no no no I'm sorry run you're right yeah yeah yeah wouldn't like we would still go do that and I and he had a nice place uh man in its day though whoof fun times luster pearl remember that oh yeah i used to go there just straight up send it dude i would like you could not stop me from just absolutely mashing that sendy button i used to go there until uh the rainy street ripper just started selecting guys that look kind of like me and just killing them before that dude i didn't they go for a younger and i was getting just crazy sandy

and i would just go down there i was fucking send it all day long is that right for old farts yeah no offense i'll look a little bit younger than i he probably would have like that guy's probably 36. They used to call me the Rainy Street Gripper because I was like gripping grain down there because I was looking for the Ripper. Really? Never found him. It's a hard street to drive down. It's usually pretty cradded. Yeah. Have you ever, have you seen the offshoots of these campus pisser accounts? Yeah. That are the detectives trying to find out who the pisser are. It's an interesting internet. You can't have spin off campus pisser. There's a UT like piss or catcher like it's very funny it's probably they're they getting close they actually

like where they cross-referenced uh someone's like piss right here it was like a guy posted from like the student section and then like he took a screenshot from when the broadcast showed the student section like mashed up okay that's actually really funny that's really funny they're gonna there's gonna eventually be a video and it's gonna be like cuba good and junior getting walked out in handcuffs just head like just defiantly got him chin up got him dude back in the day i would just walk down rainy and i would throw in a rainy street lipper oh just a freaking big old hooter that's when you were like a little extra cindy yeah dave when i used to go when i first moved here they called me the rainy street tripper so i'll just

do a bunch of fucking acid and go out to rainy street go to umbar leave will go down the slide like five thousand times is that still there i don't think so they used to call me the rainy street dripper because i just i just came through just absolutely dripping with my outfits no because i i had that i had that shit on oh yeah yeah yeah like you see that guy in the shacket over there they used to call me the rainy street sipper because i used to go die out there and drink alcohol yeah it's not a fruity cocktail yeah no the joke is run its course yeah it's we're done the rainy street lipper he said yeah now a word from our sponsor actually it's not from our sponsor because they're not doing the talking and we

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at 18778-8-Hope-N-Y or text Hope-N-Y 4-6-7-367-369. You know what I'm going to be doing is wearing my rowback. A huge fall release coming soon. Can we talk about the... They have shackets now?

They have shackets now? They have freaking shackets now. A freaking shacket, yo. A freaking shacket, yo. They fly now? What aren't you getting? It's not clocky? Oh, that's a nice down jacket they have.

Are you kidding me? Yeah, that's good style. Are you kidding me? A vest plus these super lightweight sleeves. It's perfect for a cool under wall. Perfect for a guy like you whose arms get cold. Your arms get cold when you're podcasting. No offense, dude, but they found a hotter guy to model the shacket.

Well, I'll beat the shit out of him. What's his height? I don't know. That dude's 5-8. No, that dude's 6-3. That guy, yeah, that guy's going to beat your ass. That dude's 6-3. I will bury.

I will fucking bury that. That guy will fold you like a chair. Dude, I will, no. This guy's going to put your head in the mud. I will make him cry. Dude, absolutely. He's not that hot, dude. That guy's not that hot.

That guy would tap you out. He's going to give you a swirly. He's not that hot. Yeah, he is. I hope you like your little bare bottom. Let's ask Casey Smith. Who's harder? I'm sorry, dude, but I'm just looking at that guy

and he would absolutely wreck you. The other guy's harder. That guy right there on the right? He's hotter than the other guy. Yeah, that dude also beat the shit out of you. Oh, yeah. This guy's going to give you a wet will. This guy would put on the Sheffield shirt and just absolutely just kick your ass.

I will steal his girl. He's going to put you up the flag pool. me we're going to hold hands and watch a movie and I'm never going to call it right that guy puts on his extra large sheffield shirt and just puts you out that's a medium dog you're gonna be saying does it say like model is blank where's a blank oh hold on right here it says model is extremely good lucky looky do the expand the text over there he is actually proficient in jiu-jitsu and all ufc and can all ufc not just part of him he's trained in multiple disciplines i don't care he doesn't have he doesn't have dog you don't

He's also super rich. And it says he stands on business. He doesn't have dog in him. You don't stand on business. Oh, Wei Han has dog in him. Yeah. Yeah. Sorry.

No, this guy would cry if he saw me in the octagon. So go check out all this new stuff. Find a way. Get some, go up to the hat. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on. Yeah, dude. Yeah, dude.

Hold on. The 1990 classic. Yeah, bro. What? What? Yeah, dude. The 1990? They're like that.

Oh, my God, dude. I'm going to have to get that. Oh, look at that guy, cream and green too. Oh, Randy, that's your hat. That one's even better looking. Randy, if you don't get that hat, I will. Randy, get the hat, dude. I kind of like this one, though, because I already have a cream.

You would. I do like this one. Yeah, you would like that hat, wouldn't you? Yeah, you would like. You guys just liked it literally thugged in 20 seconds ago. God, I'm going to call all these models to beat your ass. Look at this guy. They're going to need to all get together to beat my ass.

Look at this guy. Because one-on-one. Oh, my God. This guy probably. That guy would, I'm going to twist him in a pretzel. He looks like he would roll over your Roth IRA and beat your ass. Yeah, for sure. I'm going to stretch his legs back behind his head and just fucking toss him like a frisbee.

What the fuck? Salad style? What are you talking about? No, I'm going to toss him. I got to put his legs right and toss him. I'm going to roll him down the fucking driveway here onto the street. Like the fat kid and hook? Yep.

What? Exactly. Okay. Glad we clarified what you're going to do to the guy modeling the pace queues at pullover. I got a good jaw line, and I'm fucking good hairline, and I'm standing here with me. Shut up. He's about to give you a hairline fracture. And beat the fuck eggs.

Yeah. Anyway. Anyways, go get some row back. A lot of people want to hear you convince Dylan to get into the Lord of the Rings franchise. I don't know if that can be done at this point. Like, he's so deep into life. Have you ever watched them ever? No.

I'm open. I'm not completely shut off to the idea, but it's just that genre of movie. Fantasy shit. Yeah, I get it. It doesn't do anything. He did Game of Thrones. What if Parks was like, Dad, I want to watch... Dude, the thing about Lord of the...

This is the last thing I'll say about L-O-T-R. It's just like Thrones in that... There's an overlap between normal people like you and me and super fantasy nerds. Both can enjoy it. There's no titties in Lord of the Rings. I don't need titties to enjoy a show. I'm not saying that.

I'm not implying that necessarily. It does add to the enjoyment. That helped you over the hump with Thrones. You know? It helped me. So there's no tities. is just like, it's just like brotherly love, you know? There you go.

Okay. Ross, I don't know if that was a good sell. I don't know how to sell it to Dylan. I've been trying to do this for 10 fucking years. Okay, but some point. Actually, the other day, I was thinking I was trying to find something to watch. I was like, should I just do it? Then I decided against it.

I watched some other dumb-ass show. I'm on team Dylan doesn't need to watch. I don't know if he would like it. And I'm a very big fanism. You don't want to hear my criticism. Exactly, yeah. That's because I'm just such a fantasy boy. You are a fantasy boy.

You know how it ends? I don't know anything about it You don't know shit about it You can spoil it for me if you want I don't care What is the premise to Lord of the Rings in your mind It's a bunch of little fantasy dwebes Like looking for a ring And there are probably some dragons

And some fairies and shit I don't know Okay Am I how far am I? You're not that close Mr. Frodo Is there a ring? There's a ring, yeah

Let me see you yeah What would have led you to that? It's right here Lord of the Rings Is that really one? yeah due to my spinning one i had i had a couple of my cousins over for easter and one of their husbands comes up to me he goes check this out he takes this necklace off hell yeah he has the

full-blown replica necklace and the ring inscribed and i was like i love that who's this person to you my cousin's husband your cousin's husband is a is a door huge nerd that's a that's a that's far so that that's far right then later he gives it like a 20 minute buffer and then he comes up to me he's like check this out he takes out his phone and he shows me a photo, he's building a full ent costume for himself, like the trees. Randy knows what I'm talking about, but they... I know he's got a tattoo somewhere. To go to a comic con, it's got stilts.

I got to see this. It's all in. I don't have the photo off. You're giving Randy ideas, because this is something Randy would do. Yeah. The ants, they'll end to the Shepherds of the Forest. They're great. I don't give a shit. This dude. They're a highlight of, uh... I'd rather watch... I'd rather watch a good, like, murder drama. You know, that's my shit. It goes by D-Man. Nah.

Yeah, go for the D-Man. Hey, looking for Derek. Speaking. Go for the D-Man, he said. What are you doing, man? What the fuck is up, D-Man? What's up, D-Man?

You're doing your own show. What's up, Big Dog? How to do it? What are you guys up to? What's you working on there, Big Hauss? I think you know what we're up to. We're doing a show. Doing a show.

Is this the most hyped? It's not re. Most hype cheesecake factory meal ever. No one has ever hyped up a cheesecake factory chip more than we have. No, this is it. Do I get to do a tour? Can we see the kitchen? Can we see the factory?

Hey, will you walk in? Show us where it's made, please. There better be conveyor belts and shit. Dude, let me see the factory. I have the best bid that I'm not going to do now. Maybe I'll go to Party City and do it. Ah, now I was going to wear construction stuff. like I'm on the factory floor.

Okay. That's so dumb. Please don't do that. Can somebody do a ham check bit where you walk in? Yeah, I am. Yeah, I talked to Balboni said I could get a tour. Who's running this shit? They're like, uh...

Who? We're just there, like, trying not to laugh, and we actually have to still sit down and eat. Yeah, it's not funny. It makes us the weirdos in the restaurant for the rest of the meal. Table 12, there's some fucking weird guys. Whoever's working our table tonight. They're either going to really enjoy.

that we're there on a Wednesday night are they're gonna fucking no we're gonna have a waitress he's gonna fucking love us what percent occupancy are we talking about tonight how many people 15 it's small so like red lobster style six tables max there were three tables at red lobster they turned off the lights at red lobster at one point I'm pretty sure we were the only ones at chilies when we went that one time it was slim pickings it was slim pickings why was that that's the only chilies in town how are there not more people I don't know because Austin has become like a stuck up foodie town no one goes at Chili's and if you live

here, you're probably a little... Dude, I was saying about this. I was saying about this, like, even just having Pete Terry's in the mix stops me from bringing Fritz to, like, restaurants that he needs to go to. He needs to go to McDonald's. Yeah. I told Sally the other day, like, I want to take him to Popeyes. He'd love it there.

Oh, man. That's just how Austin B, man. Roe just definitely tried Popeyes. The Red Robin and Sunset Valley was getting bulldozed, by the way. Should we go protest it? Places like that. They're dying. Why don't we call dude with sign and see if we'll stand in front of it?

What are they going to put there? They've also made fast food places less friendly. Like, they don't have the play of places. anymore really well it's pretty unsanitary chick fillet down there does i do sunset valley yeah i liked the ball pit at hardies i know it got made fun of but i see i secretly liked it chucky cheese is where to go for ballpits we didn't have a chucky cheese dude people ride for the chucky cheese pizza really and it's not even like a nostalgia play people will be like no it's legit good why are the animatonic so creepy the older i get the more that cheese pizza

goes hard i don't need a giant rat playing guitar on stage with his eyeballs moving on around the room no what if you'll find out that like you know how you like you're good at golden tea yeah be funny if we call up there and in the got like actual reservation they're like yeah sure you can just watch a table you might need one you want to call them right now make a reservation all right hold on y'all do something make a reservation but also ask them how full like how full they are like did we request like a good table you know yeah say we're saying we're throwing a celebration. Tell them we're some real heavy hitters in town and we want a real

ball or table. We're trying to lock in. Yeah, tell them we're trying to lock in on their it's a bad day to be a cheesecake. It has to be sat next to the table by the aquarium. Sir, this is a cheesecake factory. Just be like, no, the one by the aquarium. Tell them we want to be right next to the conveyor belts. Yeah, we want to see the factory floor.

They're probably doing a shift, a shift change right now. All hands meeting right now. How's it going over the day? Are you connecting to the Bluetooth. You should be an expert at this. Thank you for calling the Cheesecake Factory. They're full. Thank you for calling, Tuesday, I can help you. Hello. I am looking to inquire about a reservation this evening.

For reservation, how many is it going to be? Five. Five. Five. All right, so for reservations, I think we'll accept them online. If you want to make one, though, you can go to what is it? Cheesecake Rewards.com. I should have one there for you. Hold one moment. Is that your URL?

Uh, yeah. Okay, let's see here. Is it www. Mm-hmm. Cheesecake. Cheascakerewards.com. One sec. We'll see you tonight.

All right. We'll see you then. Ciao. We're there. He's already on the phone. Why can't you just take the reservation? Yeah, just write our name down. That's so stupid.

Right our name down. What's the point? What is the point? Oh. That was so dumb. We're going to go nuts in there. What a colossal waste of time. It was, but we had fun.

Hey, Dad, what did you do at work today? I did some shitty voice to call the Cheesecake Factory. I was really indecisive about what accent, and I'm kind of tired. He's going to know it's us when we walk in there. He's a fucking, here's that table of five. Dude, there's some British people coming in a night. But like he wasn't British at the end. You do have a shepherd's pie on the menu.

They do. This really prim British lady just called. called me. Fish and chips too. Dude, that's so lazy. It was a drive-by fringing. Just go to the website. I called you, buddy.

Cheesecake Factory Rewards.com. I think he just wanted to dump you. Like, he wanted you off the phone. Yeah. He knew? Yeah. He knows, he's like, oh. Go to the website, pal.

He's in, he's in, no, do a voice. Thanks for listening. Now to a sponsor. I love oil frames. What if he could give a gift that brings your favorite holiday traditions and memories to life every day? Well, Randall,

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They're the perfect gift. Perfect. Yeah, the QR code. There's a little QR code. You pull the label back a little bit. You scan it. You can pre-load pictures and videos for your grandparents

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before it end. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. terms and conditions apply man we had to have you on for a couple reasons you know like I said you are you are probably probably the biggest name in the wash media friend universe I think he's up there PJJ have gotten pretty big

but you're up there you got the what 39 pp missies that's pretty good 39 fist jobs on the year solid season do you know that if you hit a home run that like at least half of washed media is going to reach out to you and tell you that it was a great piss missile?

I do. I do. I have you would be, I told Dylan I think at some point, you'd be shocked by the influx of messages that I get on Instagram. Just saying either pissed on it or piss missile or something. Look, it's a lot.

It's a lot. We're sorry for that. Dylan's taking it out of far. It's great. Still in's fault. Yeah. It's great. Yeah, I was like, I was,

I think, just drinking one night. It was like 10 o'clock. And I saw you shared a, You shared a, you know, a story of one of your home runs, and I couldn't know myself because you did piss on it, to be fair. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I love it. I always appreciate the support, especially from the washed media. Yeah. Of course, the mistake I made was sharing that then on the podcast and encouraging other people to go along with it. So it was borderline cyber harassment. It was. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, thanks for taking it in stride. We appreciate it. Oh, yeah, of course. Those were the more pleasant of the Instagram DMs that I received after games.

So I always welcome the positive ones. I was never in a game, but one time he just swatted my shit, just the other side of the court. And he'll still bring it up to the day. I'm like, yeah, it was pretty nasty. You spanked your last? Yeah. Damn. Pointed at you, pointed his middle finger at you like this.

Stop doing that. I don't know why I don't like. Dave keeps on pointing at me with his middle finger and I really don't like it for some reason. That's how old people flip you off from the car. You know, old lady did that to you in the car like this? My buddy Harry and I in high school, there was a guy like a Mavs game or something that was flipping us off or flipping somebody off. And he pointed it and we thought it was so funny. It's like, no one is doing that.

So for the rest of high school, we would just do this. It is very old man. It is. See, that's, but now, dude, the game's changed. Now they just pull guns. That has flashed their piece at you. That guy should have just fucking diffused a situation by just like being, hey, I'm serious. Yeah, I would have accepted that.

Like, all right, man. I got the old man finger I get it I'll back off I got that I got that old pistol on me got that desert eagle you got that I don't think it was a desert eagle you don't think it was I don't think it was a 50 caliber pistol no okay I'm sorry gun guy here you don't think old bail is run around the 50 cal dude that would have put him on his on his back and had he shot that thing I shot one of those before dude you have to you have to really like anchor yourself to do it it's crazy little kick on it dude that would it would have blown it would blown his

fucking arm off his body he was an old bag of bones yeah old bag of bones they don't need that

you should have like a 22 we do gun talk here too but the invite will probably be in the mail

we appreciate that dude we'll circle the date on the calendar doce you got us here we'll give you

the last word um later oh oh oh dude we got it Dude. He got literally the last word, man. Oh, that's so good. God. He just dunked on all of us.

Yeah, I'm done. Especially you know. We are on the ground, staring up at the rim, and he's looking down at us making sure it doesn't land on us. That is crazy. That was so good. Come on, man. That was so good. I have never seen a look of astonishment that is just on everyone's face collectively in the studio at once. That was amazing. That was the first time Dave got God, I believe. Oh, my God, dude. He came so strapped. Damn. Damn. His elbow's hanging from the room right now. Oh.

Deuce. They have to repair the glass after that. He's walking over to the bench with the rim in his hand. Deuce. I was waiting for it. Only took five episodes. I'll do that. Anyway, I was like 18.

You know, shit happens. Sorry. We've all been there. You grow up. You grow up, you know. Yeah. At some point, you got to stop being the frat king and be something else. This fucker never stopped.

This is the original frat king right here. Yeah, but you're the, you always saying that you're the new frack guy. I don't know if I took the crown from him. I think you replaced me, dude. You said that you're going to snatch Ross's frat chain. I did. I don't even, you know, I don't do any fratting anymore. Do you see he's a gold chain guy?

He's gold chain guy. I have seen you with your slutty little chain. You fucking slutty, dude. God. He's trying so hard to have. a slutty little summer. Yeah. When I go out, when I step around town, I want people to look at me and think, that guy's

probably going to put out tonight. What a four? Yeah. This guy's out of her slinging dick. That's kind of like summer 25. That's kind of my vibe. Anybody could get that? That's what you're saying about you?

I'm very getable. Like this guy's, this guy's cruising, as I say. Damn, you cancel three professionals. You definitely do not want to hear DuP wedge voice. Your attorney, your therapist. In your doctor. Oh. The therapist is the worst by far.

Oh, you sad? Oh. Did your life going nowhere? Oh. Oh. Did the test come back positive? Uh-huh. How does that make you feel?

Oh. Was it a really expensive prescription? You can't afford it. You can't afford. You don't have health insurance. Oh, no. Is this out of it? parking yeah you want to know uh oh do we lose the case are you going to jail oh did i lose your case

for you oh i'm not a good lawyer i'm so sorry oh you got to pay the attorney fees oh therapist would be a tough pill to swallow like hey i'm here so you can like make me feel better about my life do you have a bunch of trauma from your childhood oh no do you think about how everybody hate you at night you want to unpack that do you have a lot of suppressed feelings Do you want some anti-depressants? Okay. Anti-depressants. You need some stronger ones.

We don't have any Pledge merch, do we? Do you have a little trouble focusing at school? Don't we have a, didn't Ricky make a blueprint of the Puege? We should just put it on a shirt. Oh, he did, didn't he? We could put like a fake pizza logo on the front, and then on the back, it's the Pledge. I think that sells. yeah the textbooks man

not good not good page 69 was a war zone in those textbooks oh my god you never know what you gotta find over there no you don't and for some reason like every person everybody would X out the eyes like

or color in the eyes and make them look like a fucking like monster like that was like that was kind of the intro into drawing and then that's where that was the gateway that was the gateway into drawing dix yeah it's like blur it blacking out the eyes or something. Every so often like

someone had a mustache drawn on them. Oh yeah, he had a mustache. Like, yeah, dick and like double horned

big old honking dick. Yeah, just a big old honk her down there. Like George Washington is out there with a fucking hammer. Yeah,

it's just out there this fucking fat cock swinging around. Stop. God. Hammer was good enough, man. Hey guys.

Calling from the downtown Nashville YMCA. I ran into a familiar face One Shet Hanks What the hell he's doing here? I don't know But he walked in

And you just immediately know That he is someone who's not the average guy Mesh workout tank top And off white Nike shorts He stood out like a sore thumb Especially with his Louis Vuitton Kind of cross-body gym bag He was rocking

But he walked up actually right at the water fountain And I looked at him And I looked at me And I was like, are you shit, Hanks? And then he looked me deadly eyes and said, am I? And I said, the only thing I knew to say, which was big off-smund. And he went, hell right, brother. And dabbed me up, it walked away.

He didn't say shit to be the best of the time. Dude, that guy has looked so much testosterone. It's crazy. He's got such bad back, dude. And he's like, oh, his skin's horrible. He's all right, anyway. His skin's horrible. He's got such bad back.

Good for him. Good for this listener to actually gas up Chet in the moment that he had. I like just asking famous people if they are, in fact, the famous person you think they are. Are you Chet Hanks? Are you Chet Hanks? I am. That's me. Am I?

That's great. Are you Chet Hanks? He would be a fun celeb siding, I think. He's an approachable celeb. Celeb is like, yeah. He's not. He is, but it's like. He was on curb.

He's a celebrity. What list is he on? I don't know if he's B. He's C plus. I was going to say, I think he might be a C play. He's D list. Two summers ago or whatever White Boy Summer was, he was B. I'll give him B.

Okay. But since then, he's gone back down. Yeah. That's, you know. But, like, White Boy Summer was such a thing this year, but, you know, we lost that it was attached to Chet, you know? He did make a statement about everything. He did.

Because people were taking it too far. I'm glad he did that. Did Brat Summer went out over White Boy Summer? Oh, yeah. I think Brad Summer crushed it, man. Like, White Boy Summer had a hard run this year. It just wasn't our summer. No.

That's fun. You know what? Every summer can't be about guys like us. Yeah. The brats need it too. It's Alpha Male Fall or Autumn, according to Nick. What's his name? Nick Adams.

Nick Adams. Thank you. Yeah, Alpha Male Autumn. Alpha male Autumn. Do you know? I mean, that's close to Frat Fall. What's up, guys? I was just listening to the voicemail of the guy that met Shet Hank.

I have a story. I was like a senior high school or freshman. in college white boy summer was first coming onto the scene um chat hanks was kind of having his moment keep in mind the guy asked him if it was chate hank this guy isn't someone that you've like seen on screens a shitload at times you know he he was brand new he's just a normal look at dude so i'm in sun valley idaho like going skiing with my dad and we're at the base of the mountain and the hank family has a place there i'm pretty sure and we're at this like hot dog stand and I'm standing there, and I'm a shithead kid, right?

He's standing there with my dad, and I looked at my left, and there's this big guy in his black coat. He's, like, definitely not dressed, you know, to go skiing. He's wearing some designer. And I look at him, he's got these piercing blue eyes. And I just have to say, the first thing that comes to my mind was to ask him, are you Chet Hanks? And he looked at me, and he doesn't really say anything for a second.

He's looking at me, and he goes, booyaka, boyaka. What's up, man? And I was like, and I was like, dude white boy summer hell yeah let's get a pick he's like let's get a pick we take a photo Dave I emailed it to you you bitch we're like walking away and my dad's like dude did you see Tom Hanks was like right next to him so I just completely skipped out on Tom and went for chat which I think is a testament to how powerful white boy summer one but yeah that's sure later dude his much more is much more famous father was next to me he had no idea if I'm with my

father and a backer comes up and talks to me like I'm not doing bits from the podcast so for for chet hanks to be with tom hanks and someone asked are you chet hanks and he hits him with the booyaka booyaka you know tom hanks is just like god damn it yeah like what the hell dude relax please just act normal dude chet chet's risen like the ranks of celebs i want to see in a while absolutely like not even close it's a fun interaction and honestly all these interactions that people are having with him makes it it makes me want to go up and say what up to him it sounds like he wants it well he of course he does he wants to to just to just hit him with that what's the other brother's name that's uh also an actor Colin Colin yeah he does directing now he's he's a more successful

actor than chet obviously yeah but even that guy like I think yeah I think he's moved on to the behind the camera okay because he was in that movie orange county but that other brother Colin is is much more Tom like yeah and just his oh for sure it looks like to that's just like Has Tom lost a little of his luster? He's just old now. Yeah. Like, I just feel like his, like, if I see that he's in a movie, it's not a must see anymore for me.

There aren't that, but there aren't that many actors these days where it's a must see for me. Remember, like, uh, 2020 or whatever is like, breaking news, like, Tom Hanks and his wife or in Australia with COVID. And he was like, holy fuck. Oh, shit. I hope you're enjoying these greatest hits of circling back. I know I am.

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But I love watching rodeo on television It's just because the bull names I love it all Like I love every single part of it I feel like there's a part of me That should be in a rodeo I call the thing a rodeo You got like the fits the cowboys are getting off

They don't know that they're dripping But they're dripping Oh yeah You know if it goes south They could drip blood Okay It's dangerous It is dangerous dude

You ever been on a bull No David I've never ridden a bull Can you imagine if he's been on a bull the guys never mowed a lot before no offense I'm sorry you don't know how hard I can clench these thighs dog that's true

Randy didn't you get caught like trying to bring a Pringles can through your security yeah with some lotion geez okay what's wrong with you? Why are you doubling down you don't have to just insert horniness like

mine was said it enough I was inserting something else okay God yeah guys I really like to fucking deal it wasn't that funny everybody they like it i'm adding i'm adding a whistle to the uh soundboard a horny whistle yeah and and if you hear that whistle on future episodes just know that randy will be in the penalty box can we get a yellow flag in here just throw fucking flags when this shit happens i want to

train my kids to just get yellow and red cards that's good just pull out of yellow card and be like all right you're on thin ice buddy that's good i have a question about yellow cards and soccer yeah they don't do anything what's the point of them they do stuff they don't do anything Yeah, they do. They hold it up and then they just keep playing. Like, okay. What if they get two? I don't know.

Yeah, you don't want a yellow card. Then you got to be, you think about every tackle after that. Like, wait, I can't go hard at this, dude. Play less aggressive. They also, if you amass too many, Dylan, you can face a suspension. Facts?

Facts. My uncle was a soccer coach for the high school team crossed the Bayway. And he didn't like it if you finished the season and didn't get one single yellow card, said he weren't playing hard enough. Shit. I got criticized for not having enough penalty.

minutes in hockey once i love that i was like well i'm just a smart player you should have just you should have just gotten on the ice after the coach said it and just fired the puck out of out of the rink in your own zone and just take a two minute and be like there you go he's like what the fuck um we were just we were laughing you know we don't really talk politics on or off the show but we'd be remiss if we didn't point out that the guy who's president now three days ago maybe four was performing a fake sex act on a microphone. Simulating oral on a microphone. Like, I completely forgot about that.

Yeah. What level of, like, confidence or just honestly doesn't care to do to fillate a fucking microphone? He just knows it doesn't matter what he does. People are going to love him no matter what. I would just say he was simulating eating a corn dog. How is Aluclidente dealing with the results of this election? Is he going to accept them? He has not yet conceded.

Okay. You and your glissies should stone the capital. Dave Portnoy had not ever eaten a corn dog until the stay fair this last. He didn't know that there was meat inside a corn dog. Yeah, he didn't know that there was meat inside until he actually bit into it, which is just really... That's quite a shocker, though. If you didn't know what you're biting into, had a fucking wiener in it. Yeah?

You can phrase that differently. I said meat just to play it safely. Yeah, but it's a variety of meats. I know how you guys are. There's a hoove in there. A hoofay. You guys are a lot of control. Rainy is just fucking super horny back there.

Blow the whistle. What if what's the whistle? Is it going to be bub rub and little sis's whistle? Woo. Woo. Come on. Early internet. Yeah.

Yeah. What's that from? Whistles. Bub rub and little sis. It's like one of the first. Talking about the cars that they were. Yeah. The whistle tips.

Yeah. That's I thought you were referring to. Whistle tip cars. Yeah. And at the end. That's early internet. They get Bub rub or a little sis to get in their car and demonstrate. And they just blow through a stop.

that's sick it is a really annoying sound yeah what does january 6 look like if it's not trump and it's alglizantae not accepting results just mustard and ketchup everywhere are people dressed as hot dogs for it yeah so it's kind of funny but like all of something I like all right well yeah so yeah so you can't really get mad at someone wearing a hot dog instead of like tear gas they're just squirting mustard in your eyes Yeah. Does mustard burn the eye? Sure.

I think it depends on how spicy the mustard is. I don't know, man. I've been mixing in some horseradish mustard lately. Get bread in here. Instead of like the guy with the Viking helmet, it's just two hot dogs instead of horns. That's okay. That's pretty funny, Randy. That's okay.

And not horny's surprisingly. He has a name, Randy. It's Q and on Chaman. Is Q's coming back? I know we had this question earlier. I don't know. I think that's for, I think that's for, yeah, Q really did fall off. Kind of hope it comes back.

just so we can... Boy, I don't. Chat, it's Q not cooked? I don't. Yeah, that's one thing from... We're all going to lose that one friend. That I would very much like to not come back. Yeah, I had...

We're all going to lose that one friend to Q. Yeah. I escaped pretty unscathed from that, but I mean, you... I just had fears the entire time that, like, you know, a parent was going to fall in. Yeah, that would... I don't know how we would have dealt with... If Randy just went full Q? I heard the Glyssies doing barbecue drops.

Is that Gianon? That's good. Gianon. Giaon. Giaon. Oh, that's funny. What was that movie with the masks, dude? The mask.

No, no, not that one. V for Vendetta. Yeah, what if it's G for Glyzadente, and it's just, it's a hot dog suit? That's a movie that you would guess that I've seen, but I've never seen it. Dude, I saw it in theaters, and like, the amount of dudes leaving that movie being like, holy fog, dude, that was moving. Was it kind of fight clubby where guys are. like, oh, it's my personality now. Yeah, it was like, okay.

I just started Handmaid's Tale. Why? I'm just kidding. I didn't. What did you say that? That's a disturbing shit, man. I was not into that. Well, are you sure?

Should we do a voicemail? Because I got a slack here, and it's Handmaidstale. Dot, M-O-V. Handy-made. How's tail spelled? You know how it's spelled. Spaled. You know, it spile.

How are you spailing that one? Hold on. Let me just see it. Okay, this is pretty normal. I didn't send you this. I don't have my phone. If you guys see me typing on my laptop, I'm not texting. What are you doing?

I'm actually, I'm actually hacking mainframes, and I'm requesting $125,000 worth of hot dogs if I can hold this. Yeah. Glyssiware? Glyzware. Glezware is not a thing. Glezware. Dylan, I'm going to be straight up honest with you.

You made it pretty unscated through this entire election season with. without that many El Glyzadente jokes. You really did. I don't think I did. No, yes, you did. We could have been doing it literally daily, and we hardly did any El Glyz jokes. Now, age jokes, different story.

Yeah. Those are evergreen. Actually, cocaine jokes. Cocaine jokes have been on the eyes. Cocaine jokes, a major uptick. Yeah. You should have bought cocaine. Is it true that you're trying to find money for blows,

so you're doing something called handsomeware to where you're hacking people, and you're just saying like hey man I'm gonna steal your wife unless you send me a million dollars and someware yeah that's pretty good that's pretty good and they're like prove it and you just send a pick of yourself

and they're like fuck what's your zeal yeah I'm gonna try it out you should hey guys it's Travis out Louisville way my work got to walk in the St. Patrick's Day parade

and I decided to do a Irish accent impersonation, you know, based off of the Narcese donkey and, you know, the stuff you guys do. And I was like, we're walking in the parade. And I'm like handing out like beads to like kids or something. And I just broke into it real quick. And I was like, oh, thank you for coming out today. And some of my show workers are like, dude, that is offensive.

You can't do that. So like, I was like, really taken aback by it. I was like, really? Like, we're not allowed to do it in public? I don't know. What are your thoughts? Co-workers suck, dude. It's not offensive. Nobody cares.

Find me one Irish person who's like, hey, man, that really, that's appropriate in my culture. Please don't do this. No way. I can listen to that guy. I can listen to him talk and know that he's probably a quarter Irish at the very least. There's some Irish there. Come on. You've got to have some fun, man.

Got to have a little fun out there. Yeah, doing an Irish accent, it's like, that's like the most innocent appropriation you can do. Yeah. Yeah, I don't want. want to go to that parade if i can't if i can't dip in a little bit of that yeah come on yes you're not dressed like a leprechaun you know he's just doing an accent okay which would still be funny i think yeah i mean have you all ever been in a parade like written in one um no i was in one it's a weird deal i uh skipped school that day and i found myself on a float and ended up uh

singing a beatles song really just broke out in song and everybody was like fucking pumped about it did you crush it choreographed dancing all sorts of shit oh my god yep i had this uh chick with me and my buddy and uh my buddy was going through it we uh we fucked up his dad's car pretty awful later on that day fuck was it like a preist or something no no no it was like a classic car no oh no he had one of them wow what happened to it well we uh we drove it around the miles speedometer or not spenometer whatever the mile odometer odometer it registered said miles oh and his dad tracks that type of shit yeah dad's told dickhead real hard ass dad so we we tried to reverse it we put it up on blocks or whatever

it doesn't work like that doesn't work like that at all and it the blocks fell down and it just fucking went out the back oh dude fucked up the house too yeah holy shit yeah it's why she didn't tell us about this before it's a long long time ago I it was right for my birthday a couple years ago and I thought I wanted to leave town and like do something but it's always hard to get people to go out for my birthday because it's like day after New Year's you know and so I had a buddy lived in D.C. And we went out to this like parade thing there that I thought was going to be like pretty chill. Yeah. A lot of America stuff. Next thing I know, I got tear gas in my eyes. I'm in the middle of the nation's capital. There's a dude next to me with horns on his head. That's cool, man.

Oh, why was it their tear gas? I don't know. I thought it was going to be a peaceful thing. What? That's fucking wild. Bird, look at y'all both probioticed up. I'm poppyed out, dog. I ran out of kimchi. I think Alyssa, my wife famously or secretly will

forget to buy it because it smells so bad when I eat it. Oh no, I forgot the kimchi again. Yeah, exactly right. I'm like, I'll tell her, can you put it on the list? She's like, oh, yeah, I already put in the grocery order. So I'm like, oh. So I got to go buy the store and get it. And I've threatened her with this. I don't threaten my wife often. But I did threaten her. I said,

I'll go by Costco and get that big fucking tub of it if you're not careful. Because right now I'm just H-E-B, like the little one. But they have a big dog at Costco. Of course they do. When you open that thing up, dude, everybody, nobody's no way safe. What is kimchi again? Is kimchi just Asian sourcrow? Yeah, sourcrow. I mean, it's similar. It's in the family. It's cabbage. No, it's fermented cabbage. Um, sauerkraut is like pickled cabbage pretty much, right? I don't know what sourcrow is. So there are traces of alcohol in it.

They both clear your, if you eat enough, Kim, I guess what I'm trying to get at is if you eat enough kimchi, can you get bucked up? That seems very unlikely. If you eat one of those costcoat tubs of kimchi, can you get a little buzz going? Answer my question, David. Napa cabbage seasoned with, uh, of course, gochugaru chili powder, garlic, ginger, and fermented seafood, or there's some, mine doesn't have the first. fermented seafood, but yeah. Oh, yeah. Traces of alcohol. If it's fermented, it's got to, right? I'm going to do a kimchi challenge. What's that? I'm just going to eat as much kimchi as it takes to get a BAC of 0.03. Yeah. Sourcrowd is fermented cabbage as well. So yeah, I think they're a same thing.

Look up how much alcohol is in kimchi. I'm just trying to get fucked up on kimchi. I like the taste. I don't think I've ever had it. It sounds really unappealing to me. I don't, I'll do sourcrow. I probably had a sandwich. If you've had like a Korean bowl or something. Or an AI overview, less than 1%. So you can eat enough to get fucked up. Sir, have you been drinking tonight? No, I just had 20 pounds of kimchi.

Dude, that officer, if you walks up, he's going to be like, oh, my God. He's just to say, sir, get out of the car. His breath doesn't smell like alcohol. Sir, get out of the car. But it does stink. Sir, what do you've been eating tonight? A lot of kimchi. I'm sorry.

I was doing this challenge for content and I got a little fucked up this bucket to Kim Chi Keep asking it questions about Kim Chi No What else was asking? I'm out on Kim Chi dog I'll ask it is Kim Chi just Asian

Sourcrow C at AI has to say about that Gosh dude for a guy who went to Japan And who tends to act like he You steal Asian culture valor Is kimchi even Japanese? I thought it was more Korean No it is but I'm just saying like Asian culture that's a valor you steal It's true, dude

You need to respect it I like it more than Sourcrow Although Sourcrow put a little Sourcrow on a dog Oh yeah Not like your pet but like a hot dog I'll eat a fucking Rubin sandwich on your ass Dude I'll do it They're calling you Ruben Sierra

They were I do like a Ruben I like a Rubin too Katz's Deli is reopening in Austin Meow It was around for decades It was an Austin institution Shut down

And now it's reopening in the same exact location That's so sad as like an Austin staple. Hey, but I'm in the loony bend. He's a better way to play. Austin staple, what? Did you go buy toilet paper there? Oh, dude. That was easy.

You want to just leave, dude? It's not going to get better for you, man. You're in my sights today. Oh, man. I'm never going to try to help you guys out again. Thanks for listening. Time to pay the bills. This show is brought to you by Harry's.

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removed do you look them up on the grom no i haven't got that far what if they're just crazy hot are you thinking about that kind of like what are you going to do if that what what what Yeah. But what do I do with that information? I don't know. I need to log on. I've been on a minute. I might have some new matches.

I need to make sure I need to reach out and make sure they delete one of those profiles. I have two profiles because they famously lost one of mine. And then they sent me a new one. And then they found the other one. So they put me on there. So if you look me up, I think it looks like I have twins. Remember the documentary that I've talked about a little bit of the fertility doctor in the northern United States? Yeah.

Who was exposed by twins? 23 and me yeah had like 90 plus children out there who figured it out because of this website right pretty nuts man what happened about what about it just nuts is crazy fucking nuts like someone would hop on there hop on 23 and me and it says like you have 98 siblings and they're like oh this can't be right and then there's this there's this lady who like heads up this little you know the family and she reaches out she goes I know this is probably confusing to you let me explain why you have so many matches, and then she explains that the fertility doctor was just spreading his seed all over the northern United States. Like Johnny Appleseed. That's not cool.

It's not cool at all. There are two of you. Identical twin. What's the DNA match between those two? 100%. It's identical. It's got to be Hyundai, right? It's got to be. It's both of your DNA. So, yeah, I would think so. What if it wasn't? What if my DNA changed? What if, like, they realized I was standing on business i don't know if that changes your DNA what if it did though what if it was like from the like you know because we did this back at grand x what if at one point because there's times at grand x i didn't stand on business but then later on i did stand on business and you famously someone who's never stood on business i don't know how it's just not in your DNA no it's not actually just looked you up hold on 100% texas cuck over there it said dylan shivry 0% match

does not stand on business also has diarrhea often is that true none of that's true I don't know I have the best gut biome in this whole yeah it's saying ooh often compensates for bad

tum-tum issues by saying he has the best gut biome dude I have elite tom-tom I never get tummy eggs man you're setting yourself up that's me knocking on wood oh hold on something else elite tom-tom also has

below average dick What's going on? Why is it saying? Why would it expose me like that? I don't know. Okay, maybe that is a little accurate. What the hell? I didn't know they had that on there.

Talking about how good his stomach is, but like, he won't eat like Taco Bell or sugar or carbs or anything. Have you really put your gut to the test? Yeah, you don't even try. That's not to avoid testing the gut. That's to stay healthy. Yeah, I'm the strongest man in the world, but I've never even left the weight. But I can say I'm the strongest man in the world.

I can never been tested. I don't know what. I think that analogy. That analogy does not play. That's a rocket analogy. You've never been tested. stinks. I can feed anyone

to fight, but I've never been in a fight. Oh, hold on. It says Dylan Shivery, common carrier for extremely small micropinus, an extremely small one. Why does it expose me like that?

Even in the micro penis category, it has a third testicle. So it has a third testicle. The thing's a little too revealing, hold on. Also chest implants. What the hell? These are real.

Why is it saying all this stuff? MRI me, dog. Check it out. Wait, hold on. So the genetic code says that he has chest implants. Yeah, I didn't know that. He has the trait that would make it desirable to get chest implants, I see, yeah. How do I get one of these taken down? I'll have to reach out at 23 million.

You got to kill one of them. I have to kill my twin. You should email, email 23 of me and say, hey, this Dave Ruff is deceased. Please take them off. I'm going to be like, hey, whichever one has the most ball in DNA, will you keep that one? Yeah. Oh, hold on. just got a notification your connection dylan chivalry has one new update it says that addicted to slonkers i do like a good slonk i had three this morning before i came in over medium i'm thinking about going down to like a meat market not that bar you took me to that one

time but like a meat market and getting some like meat venison like pan sausage or not pan sauce but like some breakfast sausage you want some high quality shit yeah yeah not like like the fucking little links you throw in there and just reheat those suck i'll send you to my butcher i got a butcher bill no no he that guy scares me whoopsie daisy i got a butcher i'll send you to him who is it dude all he all he does is cut porterhouses and fucking tomahawks it's all it does it's a real alpha butcher can we get randy a t-bone what if you just i want to be the guy who just orders a porterhouse everywhere a lot of places don't have it i know because it's it's a lot of meat it's like 22 ounces yeah also what's up with the tomahawk that's

That's a showman's fucking order. Tomahawk, what are you trying to prove, man? Just the bone in? It's like sticks off the plate. Like, what are you doing? You get that marrow, though, up close to the bone. That's good for you. And then you haul it out and you do a fucking lose with the boys.

Yeah. Yeah, I'm a porterhouse guy. They're from the same thing. I think just the porter house is the thicker. I didn't know what it was, but I was still ordering it. I was wanting to be the porterhouse guy. It's like, Randy wanted everyone to call him T-bone. Yeah?

And no one ended up calling him that. I didn't want everyone. Amahawk's a hilarious order. It's showy. You want to be seen. Yeah. It's like the, yeah. I've gotten the bone in at Jeffries, and it's phenomenal.

But it's like, I got this big old bone in. It's a lot of bone, man. They called you bone in for a minute. They called me bone man. Yeah. Damn, now I'm craving steak. Jaybon forced that nickname down everyone's throat and it's stuck. Yeah.

You said, no, no, you call me Jabon now. Just got a message from a young lady. She says that she. Okay. She says that she has been chatting with this young man on Tinder since May. So we're talking five months. And she just realized that he's been catfishing her using my pictures. And she's saying to me all this information right now. Dude, that's crazy. Let me see her picture. No, I'm like, we're not going to do that. You can't just turn the thing toward me? Well. Wait, did you know her before? No, obviously not. She just followed me to fill me in on this. Isn't that wild? Hey, don't do, don't catfish, man. Catfish and sorry, dude. Boo. We don't like that.

No, we don't like it, man. What did she say? How did she, what was the icebreaker? Like, LOL, you're not going to believe this. She said, Hi, just wanted to let you know that someone stole your photos and created a Tinder account. I matched with him and we had been talking for a few months and I just figured out that he isn't who he says he is.

I know this is really weird and random. I just wanted you to know that someone out there is doing this with your photos. and then she sent me Okay, one, hottest man the planet This is going to happen Two, a few months You're talking to someone on Tinder? That's way too long, lady

Yeah, good point Yeah, here's my advice. I don't want a victim blame, but here's my advice to this young lady and others who will find themselves in a situation You got to get, you got to get confirmation, you got to get on FaceTime If they avoid FaceTiming

I don't know, nowadays, they avoid the face- Okay, if they avoid like, oh, I don't want to FaceTime then, you know, red flags are going up you know there are ways to confront i hate when this happens to me people always be stealing my pick and using it on the apps yeah yeah it happens to you a lot it's on that other dating app though it's called mids yeah it's just like it's for just reasonably looking people reasonable looking people just like just like it's fine looking people are just like it's all right people who are going about their day not trying to impress this is a self deprecating joke you can't

jump in on it um like mids pretty good looking it's a good ad visual show just for normal people aren't trying to do too much like why don't y'all quit that shit oh you're eating broccoli and chicken for for dinner cool i'd fucking ate a kid cuisine if you know you know you want to you want to fish from a pond with other mids you know the problem is you're gonna get like you're gonna get some like slightly above mids that hop in there just looking for yeah looking for some busters at least that person knows that they're shopping for mid and so like that gives you more confidence and oh this person actually wants a mid you know what this will be a good icebreaker to like if she's in understood in you, she could, this would be a nice way to like, you know what I'm saying?

Get her into the pot. What if she's trying to get in with you? And this is her, what if this never happened? And she's just like, I know he'll respond. You see what I'm saying? Yeah. Maybe she created a fake Tinder account so that you respond to it. That's a lot of work, but people do crazy things when they're horny. These aren't the pictures of myself that I would have chosen for this profile, but he's doing okay. Which ones they choose? One of, this one's like old. Is it like a, the grand next one you took you took this one i like it's this is that this is a lifetime i okay that's copyright infringement i take that photo dave even when he's uh being the catfisher he stills let me see

the photos you're gonna use yeah like i'm gonna reach out this guy's his biggest issue you're gonna steal my ish like pick some better shit that's the funniest thing randy i award you a point thank you randy gets a point randy gets a good point and that's all i really have for now i'm just caught up in this catfishing story. Yeah, no, it was very, very timely. Of which I am a part. Yeah. And you want to just go tap Will in or Brett?

No, no, I'm good. Because it feels like you're distracted. You're now, I'm not. I've closed it out. Your day's been ruined because there's a guy catfishing with like just okay photos of. No, he picked one that was pretty good. Were these photos ever on your dating apps? No.

Okay, so this person clearly went through, wait a minute. My Instagram. Is that even? on your that's what i'm curious about where did you get it i have no idea you kind of look like jonathan taylor thomas today dude he was a heartthrob man i know uh thanks you just kind of have that how's he j tt swag i don't think he's enacting anymore i think he's just kind of like went to college and shit is he on mids you're talking about the dating app the dating app for people who are just fine for plain looking people i don't tell you you want to fish in that pond if you're

mid man you know just keep casting just bring them in Well, yeah, that's the app. Think about it. It's not HBO. It's HPNW. Hot people not welcome. Yeah. We claim...

It's a little hot for this app there. We claim this intellectual property and we can prove it because this is time stamped and everything. We can prove that you stole our ish. Yeah, the way we were going to prove it is the timestamp. I mean... May it please the court. Let the record show we have the time stamps. What is it?

What's it today? 15th. For the creators that brought you Scratchies and still got it. It's our new app. There had been another one in there. Scratchies is. still a good idea. What was scratchies again? If you just want to link up with people for back scratches, I love a back scratch. And sometimes they're hard to come by. If I was a waiter,

part of my thing would be like, not only do I take your order correctly and I, I'm not intrusive. I show up when I need to show up and I bring your food in a timely manner. But I will offer you a back scratch. That's good. You know what else you could do is not interrupt conversations. That's been happening to me a lot lately. That happens to me. I feel like more than any anybody. Maybe it's because I talk too much. I feel like they're trained to do it because it's a timeliness thing. They want to keep it moving and go to the next table. So they'll walk up, you're like in the middle of a banger of a story and they're like, are you guys ready to order yet? Like, what was the last banger of a story you told? When I'm at dinners with people,

I just tell banger after banger. I know, but like what, like what, though? I was probably telling someone about Scratchies. You were doing a pitch to some VC guys. I was doing my elevator pitch. And they know what they're doing. That's like one way to disrespect. the table you could you could stand there and then wait for someone like acknowledge you and then like okay you guys ready to order like that's what i would do i would be polite with it what i like to do is just kind of just continue telling the sick story yeah now they maybe they want to hear it too you're gonna love you're gonna want to hear this part so anyway what dylan keep going your eyes just got bigger i've ever seen i'll fill you in after i'll fill you in i hope i want

that reaction clip because your eyes got wide it's catfish related oh my god it got sad I said, sorry this happened to you. I don't know. Thank you. Yes, it's been very hard because he, in quotes, was the first person I actually had feelings for. I can see myself with after my husband passed away. Oh. It's a shame people prey on people who are going through something.

He told me he had a seven-year-old named Tucker. His wife cheated on him and he caught her in the act. Anyway, this is sad. I feel bad for her. Look, don't catfish, y'all. That's sad. I had to close the loop here. fill you guys in. How'd she find out

that was a catfish? I don't know. Maybe she got suspicish and did like a reverse Google search or something. But you know what though? I'm going to make it spin it as in a positive. She might have just found her new favorite podcast. Should I say like, hey, that's really sad. If you check

us out, it might lift your spirits. Some people like... She's not even going to hear this. This is a sad part. I want to... Honestly, she might. When she like digs into who you are, she's going to be like, podcast. What are these guys? You guys talk about like sports or oh no they they talk about uh what i just went through yeah they're spelling my personal life a live podcast sorry uh to this young lady i ride for you i feel for you i'm sorry about

the situation you found yourself in this guy's a jerk let's send her a shirt this guy's a jerk let's you deserve much better she's got two little ones too fuck it's horrible we got to do something for her what can we do i mean i know what you can't so we send her some stone creek coffee I don't know, but you tell me, this is your thing. We'll send her some Stone Creek coffee. Send her some of your shirtless picks. I think she already has them. You want to send her flowers?

But then you have to ask for her address. I'm going to do something nice for this young lady. What can we do? Hey, at least it's not like our backer that we cold called who catfish somebody for like two years. Yeah, what was her problem? What's going on? Yeah.

Why did she do this? Man, that went on for a long time. She really catfish the shit out of that guy. for no reason catfish's asshole it wasn't even like a romantic thing no it was like a like a it was like a classmate just like how long can i keep this up yeah yeah yeah she did it for the love of the game all right bye bye You know,