Circling Back - Coffee Friday 010: The Golden Bachelor Premiere

Episode Date: September 29, 2023

It's Friday and we drank too much coffee which means one thing and one thing only: It's Coffee Friday. This week, we decided to go back to our roots and watch the first episode of ABC's Golden Bachelor. We discuss Gerry the Bachelor, the contestants, play Snog Marry Pie, and more. Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  Support This Episode’s Sponsors Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (CIRCLING at checkout for a free tumbler) Lucy: www.lucy.co (STEAM for 20% off)  --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Coffee's for closers only. You think I'm fucking with you? I'm not fucking with you. I'm not fucking with you. Coffee's for closers only. Closers only. Coffee's for closers only. I'm catch up.

I'm catch up. Welcome to a special edition of Coffee Friday. It's Golden Bachelor season, baby. And we're here to kick it off. My name is Will DeFries. To my left, David Ruff. Man, it's fitting that we're about to talk Golden Bachelor as I'm about 28 minutes removed from talking colonoscopies with my doctor.

I'm fucking stoked. Just talking? Oh, it's like an old person thing just talking yeah okay okay they're saying now um you as young as 45 unless you have uh you know family history and stuff so interesting get checked out if you're uh i always thought they told you to do it at 40 yeah well oh sorry for me since i just had one oh okay she's saying at 45 my bad yeah 40 but I had one a couple years ago as I battled and continue to battle the invisible enemy that is Diverticulitis. Are you going to post any of the footage to the Grom from your last one? No, no, I'm not. I will say that I don't know what they used to put me under. Yeah.

And I don't know what I was feeling when I woke up. But it's like the most fucking chill I've ever felt in my life. Waking up from that thing and just like, oh. You could do a cool Instagram caption, though. That's like, it's like the basic girls on Instagram. Like, Chicago, I'm inside you. It would just say, Dave, I'm inside you it would just say dave i'm inside you right right oh like saying out of p flare yeah only it's not not a p it's right

maybe we should introduce dylan chivery to the show yeah in other old people news i'm about to turn 40 years old yeah i was I was going to introduce you as the season three of Golden Bachelors, you know, Bachelor, but I thought that would be mean, so I didn't do it. So I think you should give me credit for being nice. I might be on pace to be the Golden Bachelor at some point. You never know. You've got a tan that rivals Gary's? Gary?

I thought it said online that you pronounced it Jerry. It's definitely Gary. It is. Hard G. Yep, yep. You can read about me turning 40, actually. gary i thought it said online that you pronounced it jerry that is definitely gary hard g yep yep uh you can read about me turning 40 actually uh we have a newsletter now it's called washed weekly and i wrote about turning 40 years old next month there's also some other good stuff these guys wrote something too that are really good i think didn't you want to call it 40 years to freedom like because you like sublime so much lately.

Yeah. I'm in, I'm having a sublime kick right now. It's been fun. Is that cause you, you're a bad fish. You don't do deep cuts. Who are we kidding?

Yeah. He goes with, this is sublime and just presses play. Like, yeah. Uh, the golden bachelor Turner says he uses a Gaelic pronunciation of Gary. Sounds like Gary.

But alternate pronunciation is not a deal breaker, especially after his Catholic school upbringing. Okay. Irish Catholic. Very much so. Interesting. Okay. You think that tan's real?

I think he's got some PEDs in his. You think he's got a spray tan working? No, I wasn't going to say spray tan. I i think he's got some some peds in his you think he's got a spray tan working no i wasn't gonna say spray tan i thought maybe he just you've gotten sprayed up actually yeah i was gonna say spray tan no i never got the spray tan should we play a game on this one called like retired or spray tan he just plays a ton of golf okay i don't hate that he's got such a consistent tan though i'm so jealous some some people just have it like that man do him and jesse palmer look like they could potentially be a father son ish i don't see it is jesse palmer married could he ever just do double duty

j palms yeah i don't know man how about the the first shot of the show is just a close-up of his hearing aid. Swag. They're really leaning into these are old people storyline. It's like, all right. Hearing aids have come such a long way. My dad just scooped one. My dad did too, dude. He loves it.

My dad's just sick. You can talk with an app now. Oh, really? He goes to a restaurant. He pulls out his phone and he hits uh like restaurant mode and it kind of sicko mode it quiets like the ambient noise we're there it quiets the ambient noise because you know restaurants they can be loud right yeah yeah famously and so it'll it it kind of hones in on the conversations right around you instead

the thing's cool man see i think my dad can't wait simply turns his off when he doesn't want to talk to us yeah so there's one time i was like is yours on and he was like oh no and i'm like what we were just talking like two seconds ago oh also it's bluetooth he can answer a phone and just like not not put it up to it's like a yeah the tech is there i think i'd rather have that at this point than those uh that like Facebook's going to start pushing. Oh, those are super nerd shit. I don't need that. Isn't that kind of messed up? Yeah.

I don't like the idea that anyone could be recording me by just, you know, passing me by, have a conversation that they've got the right glasses on that they could record me and I don't know it. I like the idea of like walking down the street and like seeing my directions and being in a city and knowing where to go and stuff. But like if I was where to go and stuff. But like, if I was talking to you and you had your glasses on

and I could just see you like going through text messages, I'd be like, what's your fucking problem, dude? Yeah, that's too much. That's too connected. We live in a society. That's too connected.

I know. My watch that I wear is a not, it's not. I was also anti-Elon and Twitter for a while and like, I'm loving Twitter lately.

Don't give Elon credit. I've been like super out on like a lot of stuff that i'm just really going back in on yeah i hear you i'm kind of a cock though no in the figurative way not like literal that's just what the listeners tell me no you're good you're no longer i'm still the texas cock would you guys mind if we gave a shout out real quick to a new sponsor shop shout the homies out new sponsor shout the homies out you guys mind if we give a shout out real quick to a new sponsor? Shout the homies out. New sponsor alert? Shout the homies out.

You guys hear about Lucy? New sponsor alert. I did it. Wow. Because you're leading the read. That's incredible. And you even did the fake deep voice like Dylan does. Do it again.

New sponsor alert. It's a spooky introduction. Oh, that's like if Dracula were you. Were like the voice of the Texas, of the State Fair of Texas. Yeah. It's combining a number of things. And then he announced a new sponsor for this podcast. Anyway, Lucy, the nicotine pouch. I've been using these now.

They sent it to us, I guess, a few days ago. About a week ago, I guess. And I've had one every single day so far. And I got to tell you, Dave i gotta tell you i love them what if i told you the uh my newsletter contribution this week was uh written by me while uh enjoying a lucy because that would be true well weird what if i told you that i had a lucy in right now you want to see it no i, I'll take your word. Actually, show it. Show me a Lucy.

Lucy in the sky with door. Dang. Did you see it? Yeah, bud. I don't know. It increases my focus, Dave. Helps me think a little bit better about things. I've noticed that about you.

A little energy pickup. Hey, dude, you're 40. So, yeah. Way less dumb than you. I've only had the breakers so far so they have the breakers they have the pouches and they have the gum yeah three different forms of the nicotine pouch the breaker you buy it into it and it kind of releases the flavor i'm on my mango grind right now and i absolutely love it yeah calling you little mango even if they had

no effect i'd probably still do it because it tastes so damn good. Tell me about this. Is it tobacco-free? It is tobacco-free. Okay. Yeah. It's just 100% pure tobacco-free nicotine, David. And you can get patches or gum. Have you tried the gum? I have not tried the gum.

I literally just said I've only done the breakers. Okay. All right. How about you just get off my ass? I love this stuff. I really do. I'm on the four milligram one right now okay i'm on it i'm it's in my i'm taking it it's that's what i prefer it's a nice little smooth you know feeling helps you focus get that boost of energy like you said or just chill and relax that's what i'm

talking about doing this weekend dude i'm about to try the gum though i'm about to watch the usa get boat raced by europe so the, you chew it for like 15 seconds. Give those guys some Lucy's. You chew it for like 15 seconds. They kind of activate it. Yeah. And then you just, you lip it. Okay.

Yeah. Interesting. Yeah. Good to know. Whether you use nicotine to focus better, get a boost of energy, or to chill and relax, Lucy is made for your nicotine routine. If you want to try Lucy's tobacco-free breakers, pouches, or gum, go to lucy.co.steam

and use promo code STEAM to get 20% off your first order. Lucy offers free shipping and has a 30-day refund policy. If you change your mind, that's l-u-c-y.co. That's.co and use code STEAM to get 20% off.

And always, as always, free shipping. Check it out. Lucy products are only for adults of legal age, and every order is age verified. This product does contain nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical. I want to add one more thing. I've tried two other brands of nicotine pouch.

I won't say what they are. I prefer Lucy to both of them. And that's just honest facts. Dorn's sign of approval. Yeah. Dorn's stamp of approval. Love it. Yeah.

Let's talk Golden Badge. Knee-jerk reactions. Knee-jerk reaction. I would date Joan right now. 60-year-old Joan is a serious problem. How did it feel? How did it feel queuing it up? Did you guys feel a little invigorated?

Nostalgic, maybe? Yeah. Old times? What did it feel like when you saw the driving way just absolutely sopping wet? I was worried for the health of our contestants and our bachelor. I told Sally that that driveway is way too wet. One slip right now could ruin the entire season.

Just hips just going out. Going, dude. Like, they gotta be careful. Yeah. I know that, I guess it looks better on camera, right? That's why they soak it.

I think so. Yeah, sparkles. That's how they get it sopping. It's probably not. All that glitters is gold. It's probably not all that necessary to do. I went into this being like okay i'm kind of a little bit excited to bring back that old bachelor buzz that we used to have i will say there was a little bit

of like oh man it's kind of hitting me that like these aren't it's these aren't the uh 20 something like millennial scum obviously yeah but like it's it's a lot different like laughing at someone who's in the senior portion of their life than it is like a you know a kid who's 25 who's yeah he makes an ass of himself on tv he's got a lifetime to forget about it when when faith pulled up on the hog. What? The motorcycle. Oh, yeah. That's a slang for a motorcycle. All right. I was concerned.

We all know we're concerned that she was going to topple over when she saw it. No, I was. It didn't look... Yeah. It looked like it may have had... But hella old people ride motorcycles. Do they? A lot of motorcycles go through Harbor Springs, Michigan, because it's a very scenic drive. And it's all just retired people. And I'm like, y'all gotta be careful.

It's a midlife crisis mobile. But do you think faith, like she rides a hog in her, like in her real life or she just did it for the show? She probably has. Well, she's my, she's my big hog rider of the week. So probably. She got the first impression rose as well, which is big, big news. Who did she impersonate

did she walk up new christopher walken i can't remember did she do some what did she impersonate somebody oh the impression rose first impression rose okay it took me it took me way longer took me way longer than it took dylan even which is sorry guys it's friday that was good calm down david feeling some kind of way if one of them decided to walk up and do a christopher walken impression i think that that would just immediately shoot them to the top faith's a talent i like faith she's a problem she's not she's not she was not like my top dog but she is a problem. Yeah, for sure. I'm going to go ahead and put her in final four. Are there fewer women? Yes.

How many? Yeah. Okay. Feels like the field has been trimmed from 30-ish to 20. Whoa. Well, Faith is currently a radio host of some sort, they said last night. She's kind of in the podcast game, just a little more analog. You can get her to hop on the mic i don't know but i kind of like you know like you know podcaster to radio personality

like kind of gotta stick with it she's uh she's on with james and the crusher in the morning only on 99.3 the animal can i say something about can i say something about pat? Come here, Alfred. Can I say something about Patty? You know who Patty is? Yeah, don't be mean to Patty. I feel so bad. I'm not going to be mean to Patty. I feel bad for her more than anyone. So Patty is the mother of Matt James. As she made clear immediately.

Former bachelor. First thing I'd like to say is I'm really surprised that she went home day one. Gary's not here to play games. Because I feel like because of her former presence on the show, like if she's somebody that we recognize, I feel like the producers would at minimum throw her like a three-episode bone. I thought that she was going to be an auto hometown. Me too.

Get Matt James in there, whatever. But then they gave her about two seconds in the beginning to say, I'm Matt James' mom. Never heard from her again the entire episode. She was on the screen for maybe five other seconds and didn't say a word. It was really strange. So was she just a marketing pawn? And she was never meant to go far? Did they just say, hey, we want to use you for marketing purposes.

Is there any way that you will just fly in, do one episode, and go home? The second point I was going to make about Patty is I feel, I feel like I feel bad for her. I feel like this was a little bit embarrassing because I feel like there was an expectation

for her to be like a real player on the show. Yeah. Stick around for a little bit, go on some dates. She was in and out. Like she, he showed her the door immediately.

And that's, I feel like that's a little embarrassing. Yeah. He discarded her animal style. You think Matt's like on the, on the horn with producers? Like, hey, what are y'all doing? Like, yeah, my mom's a little embarrassing. Yeah, he discarded her animal style. You think Matt's on the horn with the producers? Like, hey, what are y'all doing?

Yeah. My mom's is on there. I would be very upset if my mom got kicked off night one and I was an actual bachelor on the show. How involved is Matt James in the bachelor stuff? Because you have some who are still connected and still do stuff. And you have some that you don't hear from again. And you have some that are still connected and still do stuff, and you have some that just you don't hear from again. And you have some that are like Chris Harrison loyalists. I haven't heard much from him since his – I forgot the girl that he chose.

Rachel. Rachel. We saw her in Vegas. She had that whole like Old South thing, remember, with those pictures that were leaked? I do remember. And then they kind of got quiet after that. I don't think they're still together. The only contestant I follow anymore is JoJo joe yeah i don't follow any bachelor people if i do like

it's just because i haven't seen them and i haven't unfollowed them in a while i think i think the uh the tide kind of turned with rachel i think i think people ended up being like okay she's she seems nice and she didn't mean anything by it and whatever like i i truly think that people started to like her more and that's when they got back together but i don't know i don't follow any of the people from the later seasons and that's intentional i mean i've replaced them with heck and sue and davide yeah i'm just sort of out tom and yeah the lads how bad does susan want to be chris jenner dude it's it's a little weird i just don't want her officiating my wedding she's so intense looking she is so intense she kind of makes i bet if she does your wedding she makes it about her

but i think she also like is probably a real one she appears to be a real one to me i think she would ride for you she might be she might be totally lovely i don't know she just she wants to be chris jenner she i mean she walks into the local cafe in Aston, Pennsylvania, and everyone's just like, oh, there's Susan. I get used to Smokes vibes from her. I think because she has a really raspy, deep voice, which might be totally unfair. I don't know.

I don't remember her voice. I'm kind of into it, though. One contestant that the boys hit the group text for. And her name, she's a therapist. She's from Florida. And her name is April. Okay. And April's top four material, guys.

Just saying it now. You mean Fresh? April's a prob. mean she's a prob her friends call her fresh or fresh i mean yes i mean uh april i get i get all the the talk the hullabaloo of april i get it she's a sex bomb sex bomb sex bomb she's not my first impression rose which i'll get to eventually but i do like her she's a problem you could see the fear on the women's face yeah faces when she walked into the room for the first time and that's when they started like doing the behind the scenes interviews of being like oh yeah we got a ton of women in here we got this person here are my problems uh the aforementioned april joan who also gave a shout out to and leslie leslie's bad who made the six inches comment was that susan

i don't remember i don't remember either i remember the comment i just i can't put a face to it what was your what were you gonna say you had a did you i thought you had something you wanted to say about this no they're they're like like they're my they're bad she's a problem oh okay i thought you were gonna say like the the women that you were gravitating to and i thought you had something else yeah i am gravitating to them i believe susan said i'm very comfortable with six inches and then walked away and i was like that's presumptuous yeah yeah yeah what if he's i mean like six yeah if i'm gary i'm like what if gary didn't have it okay six average it's uh i think that's a little above average yeah i thought average was like five and a half okay so i so that that

would really like that had to get got in his kitchen a little bit he's like wait he's like do i have it like that i think i but is she like insulting she's assuming okay okay maybe he maybe she's saying that he has bde you guys remember that we should bring that back yeah i do it's a really funny thing that kids are saying these days do you think that like they had to go through conversations with gary beforehand about like, so is everything working downstairs? What's the operation status? Should we get two fantasy suites? How would you like to proceed with that?

Do you need anything on your bedside as you walk into your fantasy suite? I don't think that... You think they just let him take care of that on his own? I don't think conversations like that are necessary. Okay. Just making sure. That's what the fantasy suite's for, right? That's when they figure it out.

That's what the fantasy suite's for, right? That's when they figure it out. Is this show overall a little more genuine than The Bachelor or The Bachelorette? Just because, like, I don't think any of these women have, like, serious ideas of fame. I think they truly just want to live with Gary in his dope-ass lake house. April might. They're not trying to push, like, Metamucil on Instagram. April might have some ulterior motives, yeah. You know?

Yeah. You know what I mean, Dave? Yeah, I do know what you mean. That Metamucil. That Metamucil on april april might have some ulterior motives yeah you know yeah you know what i mean dave yeah i do know what you mean that metamuse or though those beds that you can uh tilt up uh sleep numbers yeah randy's got one not a sleep what are they called randy your mic's up mine's just a peripedic it's just an adjustable base well you know i'm talking about the bed like you can elevate the one end of it yeah oh yeah oh yeah the old people use yeah i mean and ready you want to stay up and old people you have one of those yeah why because it's these swag yeah well why why wouldn't you helps a little bit especially if you're congested you just go a little little bit up and then you're you're sleeping do you snore when you have baddies over do you hit do you hit that hydro you hit that hydraulic you just pump that bed up

yeah just mid no i don't that's interesting randy because you've always put off waterbed vibes to me true i will say one of the dressable base i did try did have a vibrating feature which i gotta imagine that's nuts right do they blatantly say that? You went to a mattress firm, correct? Was there any suspicious activity? No, no. Just me and the dude just checking out the mattresses. Water beds are the worst. Which one of the 50 locations in Austin did you go to?

The one right by my place that's underneath the bar. That's the one, dude. That's the pizza bar. That's the one. We got, dude, Randy, next time, Randy and I go out to lunch every once in a while for work purposes. Next time we go out,

we're going to the restaurant above the mattress firm. I want to go sit on that porch when it's cool outside. Water beds kill my back and they're hard to get out of. You've slept on like a water bed for longer than like five minutes? When I was a kid, I think my sister had one when I was like seven. And I was like, I would try it out. And like, I can't do this. I mean, do you think like

some of these contestants i don't think could get out of a water bath i was gonna say you put sandra lays down a water bath she needs help off oh yeah like i don't think kathy's getting up from that nah like these are some like there's some low energy going on in this house but it's also kind of like low-key sexy you know facts man can i get my first impression rose out yeah her name hasn't even been uttered today. Is it Edith? It's Edith. Yeah.

I love Edith. I don't know why there's not more hullabaloo about her. She looks fantastic. She is a delight. Yeah. She does have age on her side. She's one of the younger contestants. I think the cutoff was 60. She was like a day over 56.

She looks great. If she's talking to me in a bar and I'm single right now, I'm like, keep talking. I'm like, Edith, what's your story? Keep talking. Yeah. She's got the, Dylan, do you remember the lady at the Lifetime South with that silver hair? She's got that vibe.

Well, this woman, the Dave reference. She should have been on the show. Phenomenal shape. Were we? Yeah. In the 60s. She would have gotten gary's first impression there's something about there's something about that that hair that just i

love it yeah i love it listen i'm i'm there i'm there i've been trying to get sally to dye her hair white and she just won't do it that's weird yeah even though it's i would do it for her yeah should i go full white dude you should bleach it i. Then I'd just be doing what Barrett did. Yeah, y'all can't do that. I typically try to do what he's doing. I know, but I can't just steal his hair swag, you know? Yeah, that's fair. What if I just bleach my beard?

He came in today in just like an absolute Friday fire fit. I'm not even positive that he had something to go do. I think he just wanted to look good. I mean, I'm like, dude, what do you, why? I mean, I get why, but Jesus i think kathy's a little thirsty oh let me see i i she's the one from austin i'm admittedly not great with the names as of yet kathy austin's own it's just a little thirsty he's a slower roll a bit and let it all why do you think she's thirsty can you remind me i think she was panicking during the rose ceremony oh yeah she was the one she was the one i think it's just let it happen got popped in beta blockers it happened cath here's a question i have how many episodes until we get

a pickleball date oh yeah that's a good call he's a big pickleball guy right there's a there's a couple pickleball people and based on how popular it is with this demographic, I it's either episode two or episode three. Uh, driving to the doctor, I drove by the fire station and the boys were out there playing pickleball. Yeah. I was tight. Yeah.

Hell yeah. Yeah. Way to kill some time. Sally made a point while they were all meeting for the first time, like walking up to him and stuff that, uh, in previous seasons, you don't see this because they're all young people. But this season you saw a lot of hand patting like hey so nice to

meet you that is an old person yeah just tapping his hand like they just loved him a lot of a lot of kissy kissy too oh all people love kisses casual kisses on the lips that mean nothing other than hello nice to meet you only thing we're missing is a cheek pinch you know get in here gary i told her i was like if there was a kiss on like the sopping wet driveway in a normal episode Rather than hello, nice to meet you. Only thing we're missing is a cheek pinch, you know? Get in here, Gary. I told you, I was like, if there was a kiss on like the sopping wet driveway in a normal episode, people are going to like go a little wild over that. These old ladies, it doesn't matter. They're just lips in everywhere.

Yeah, it's just like, no, that's how we roll. Yeah. Old people are flirty, man. What else do I? Oh yeah, Ellen was just a straight up up like her profession was just a straight up pickleball co-captain i can't wait till like that's the that's what i do in my life is that gonna replace golf pickleball as a retired guy sport i would love to be a retired guy that just plays golf and doubles tennis i think that's i think that's my wheelhouse maybe ski in michigan

i'm a little worried about being old and skiing in like colorado where it's like long yeah you stick to the greens anyway yeah well yeah i do dog especially in colorado can we talk about leslie really quick i would love to please dylan already called her out once yeah are we believing believing her uh her backstory what was her backstory um oh i don't know maybe one of the uh greatest musicians of the modern era uh wrote a song about her backstory um i don't know maybe one of the greatest musicians of the modern era uh wrote a song about her okay yeah i don't believe that wait remind me prince yeah she's a dancer prince wrote sexy dancer about her and i mean she does want to dance that's fair i mean that checks out but picture leslie you know 25 years ago yeah i'm not saying she was not hot

enough to date prince just like come on she was i respected that she tried to grind on him episode one like she straight up was trying to throw ass on gary yeah gary come on let's limit the the amount of dancing gary has to do just just he's not built for it have Have you seen Leslie's favorite concerts ever? Let's hear it. Lady Gaga, Dylan. Little Monster. And Posty. What? Yeah, dude. You and Leslie.

She's perfect. DM Leslie. I love her. She's kind of cool. I love her. And she's a fitness instructor. She takes care of herself. How is Prince going to write a song about you and your favorite concerts ever are Lady

Gaga and Post Malone? This is new age shit. It probably was prince at one point and she's you know he's no longer with us she can't he she can't go to those concerts anymore that is facts that is facts also named carmen electra people forget that yeah to say she said she dated prince and it's like all right well I think Prince had several dates something's partners I don't think he limited himself sexually well when you're a bona fide megastar like Don you can world-class guitar player well not per Rolling Stone right not for Rolling Stone the art is formerly known as I think'm going to start going by a symbol

you should we're naming our second child just a symbol really just y'all are going to name it the stussy symbol yeah how do you dude i was just at so i just went you can see my wristband i just went to a record convention uh during my lunch break because i'm 65 years old now and I can be on this show. And there's a giant tub of stickers at this one booth. And there was no price around them or anything. And on the very top

of the stickers was just a Stussy sticker. I was like, I kind of want to steal that right now. Why didn't you? So I kind of like was, you know, rummaging around in the stickers

and I was hoping that they'd be like, oh, just take one. The person looked at me and just looked away and I was like, what do I do? I could have just asked them like but i'm not gonna go buy a stussy sticker what the fuck um i had a thought during this episode what i know they have an age or minimum and i understand why but i think it would have been fun to really test gary if they

threw like a 28 year old just like total baddie at him. I was thinking that too. You know? It could have been like a 40-year-old. Like how committed are you to like finding someone around your age? Or you just really want to just, you know, ride off into the sunset

with this like absolute baddie. That would be great. You know what I mean? That would be a great twist. And like think about how much the other woman would hate her and it would have to be so much drama. See, I don't, that's such a big and aggressive twist that I don't want it to happen And like think about how much the other woman would hate her and it would have to be so much drama.

See, I don't – that's such a big and aggressive twist that I don't want it to happen because I don't want to see these nice ladies upset. Like seeing a young 21-year-old crying over some like washed up NFL player, I don't feel as bad because I'm like you got a lot of time to go find someone. You don't even need to get engaged yet. We don't want as bad because I'm like, you've got a lot of time to go find someone. You don't even need to get engaged yet. We don't want to upset Renee. When they go home in these later episodes, it's going to get more and more heartbreaking. It's like, you're going home to be alone. Yeah, like traditional Bachelorette,

they go home to their parents and friends. Slight fame. These women go home to their children. It's like, I'm still single and it's sad. Some of these women might go back to their assisted living. Who living who knows damn shout so glad you got that assistance yeah get that assistance girl us we were talking to barrett earlier and he brought up a good point it's like yeah really thinking about people at this age having to live together is very it's like it's a lot you know in your 20s you probably had a roommate. You probably had multiple roommates, right?

This age, it's a little odd. I'm wondering what the sleeping quarters look like. Surely there's not a bunk bed situation. That could be bad. Yeah, you don't want these women climbing up to the top bunk. No. Leslie could get up there. Leslie could.

I'm not betting on anyone else. Jimmy Kimmel's aunt could not. Chappie? Aunt Chappie. Is she like a known character in the Kimmel universe? I don't know She had more juice than her son This is so Jimmy Kimmel can use a clip of his

aunt or whoever on Jimmy Kimmel show and promote it blah blah blah She's a plant much like Matt James' mother She was like Oh yeah, she's here just much like Matt James' mother. She was like, it was like, oh yeah, no,

she's here just for like, give you a hug and like some comedic banter. Oh, she slept through the rose ceremony. Oh, I guess we won't see her again. That's crazy.

If I was a producer on The Bachelor and she got out of the limo and was like, are you coming with me? Am I following you? I'd just be like, you're done.

We're cutting you. You're leaving the scene. I'm not dealing with this. We're not doing multiple takes out of the limo. Yeah. Was Sandra the one with this. We're not doing multiple takes out of the limo. Yeah. Was Sandra the one with the potty mouth? She had the great voice.

Let me see here. I believe you're- Retired executive assistant from Doraville, Georgia. Oh, shit. Dave just hit me- You forgot I had it. Dave just hit me with the finger zoom on his laptop which i forgot has a touch screen that is so drippy sandra it's not longer drape drippy but it's drippy

a finger zoomed randy can you explain to the people at home what long grapes are dude new fruit just dropped long grapes those those creep me out dude i loved them they were so swag it was like a dali painting wasn. I've seen them before in the store. They just weird me out, so I don't get them. I was intrigued. I had to see if they just tasted like grapes, and they do. Wait, so you're just eating short grapes? Yeah.

Oh, my God. Like my grapes short. How 2022 of him. Come on, bro. Wasn't that who killed Braveheart? Short grape? Actually, funny enough, apparently they had been marketed as long fingers too as uh grapes i the ones i got were named moon drops which is kind of a cool name

agree now that she's back in the atmosphere drop some moon grapes oh yeah but long shanks is what you're thinking yeah yeah that too hey can we holler at bird dogs real quick? I thought you never mentioned them, man. Bird dogs make you look good. Bird dogs, they got it all, baby. They got that stretch khaki short that's designed to fit slimmer through the thigh and leg, giving you a truly sculpted look.

I'm a little afraid to even talk about these because even the thought of putting those on Randy is just dangerous. Are you banned from wearing bird dogs, Randy? I wear them and it's a problem every time I do. In five states he is, yeah. Yeah, he's just got girls sniffing him when he puts on the bird dogs. Gotta hand it to them.

They know how to do a liner. They do. Their liners are goaded. And I've tried some liners out there folks i don't know if everyone out there is like me but like i don't have like small thighs i don't have massive thighs but i got some thighs you have medium to large thighs yeah like i'm not ashamed of my thighs i like my thighs but sometimes it's hard to find a liner that fits like you know a little heftier of a thigh these things fit great i'm on my skinny boy thigh shit right now really

these thighs they just don't grow no matter what I do. And Bird Dogs liners fit me perfectly. They even got that anti-stink sweat wicking fabric that keeps you cool and dry all day long, baby. Bird Dogs rule. Go to birddogs.com slash circling or enter promo code circling for a free Yeti-style tumbler with your order. That's birddogs.com slash circling or promo code circling for a free Yeti-style tumbler. You order. That's birddogs.com slash circling or promo code circling for a free Yeti-style Tumblr. You won't take your bird dogs off,

we promise you. And I have to say, I do enjoy the Tumblr. Did you enjoy the Tumblr? I've been using it all the time. Man, with the loss of Patty, we lost by far the best old lady name. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, we did. Such a good point. And the old lady haircut did we lose peggy peggy's pretty good peggy is a pretty good old lady that is a good old lady name yeah peggy didn't make much of an impression on me did she get a rose did theresa get a rose she's 69 why is theresa so familiar to me from this episode yes yeah she did she was the last one where it was like oh one more is she gonna get was the last one where it was like oh

one more is she gonna get it and she got it there was something likable about her but i'm not sure what it was let me look at my notes real quick is she the one that showed him as her birthday suit um i think she was i could be wrong who's the one that played guitar that's faith right okay did you see faith's pool that she was in uh with photos from home no faith's pool i don't know if it was her pool or someone else's pool the pool that faith was in was baller as hell did she have it like that it was a pool seemingly on a farm and so there's just like rolling hills behind her pool what a situation i know i was like sally if he knew that this pool situation existed he would automatically choose her.

But he doesn't have it too bad either. His story in the beginning, man, that killed me. It set the tone. It set the tone to make me be like, okay, this is serious.

I didn't expect to see Gary Tears right off the bat like that. Has he had a little TV training? He's pretty with it and snappy with some of his lines. I don't know. By the way, he's a smooth character though.

Follow our new account on Instagram, Friday Tears. We just cry and document yeah it's just us crying oh we're funny natasha natasha what do you got she's a little firecracker there was a scene that natasha what do you got she's a little firecracker there was a scene that the kind of got i got a little ick for me i got kind of an ick she was doing some kind of dance number and she was like making him sing along with her at some point and it just felt a little early for like a scene like i don't know you know i'm talking about yeah it you're right night one is the night for that i was like ah that's i get it you want to show them who you are? Be you, girl. I get it.

But I don't know. It felt a little cringe. Faith, how do we feel? Will, I know you famously get a little bit uncomfortable when someone just busts out in song. I said it last night to Sally. If it's one-on-one and you play guitar, I'm sending you home. The only time people

look sexy and cool playing guitar is when they're in front of a crowd and people are going nuts for them. Oh my God, dude. I've got some serious past trauma with that. Do you remember that? I was randomly at a bar with my fellow serviceman and the girl who I thought was kind of my girlfriend,

long-term deal, was weird. She was up there playing guitar naked. No. Yeah, she was doing a Dylan song. She's up there playing and all of my boys- doing a dylan song she's up there playing and like all of my boys or was she playing zombie bob dylan and she's up there and all the my service men and women uh were just hooting and hollering at her disgusting it's just like dude stop so what'd you do i ran across the country dude i get it yeah she died some years later what a reaction yeah i need more

camera time um for joan i need i need some one-on-one conversations i need a date with joan because he i feel like he barely spoke to her and she's so bad on paper on paper joan is hands down the hottest like she's just a babe. If Joan has kids, she doesn't look sick. If Joan has a son, Joan's son had to hear about how hot his mom was all through high school. Plus, she loves dancing after a couple glasses of wine.

Who doesn't? She kind of puts out the vibe as someone who enjoys a historical museum. Yeah, you're right. She does. She's hot. Like she's straight up hot. What are the other kind of museums? She's not hot for a 60.

They have modern museums, David. Okay, you're right. They have science museums. Ah, that's hot. She's not hot for 60. She's just hot. Yeah, people couldn't believe she was 60 and counting in that.

I would have said 52. It's gotta feel good when you walk in and people start questioning the age range. Yeah. She's like, what's my age again? Right? I'm 22. David.

I'm sorry. Stop. It's Friday, dude. I got the feels. It was fine. I had a question. Ask it, dude. I have a question, and forgive me if we have to edit this out.

Are we allowed to edit this out. Are we allowed to talk about a certain text exchange that might have happened last night? Oh, yeah. You're talking. Yeah. What was the text? I don't remember. Let me read. The reason I bring it up is because this inspired me.

I think I'm going to reach out to my parents and say, hey, I think you need to start watching The Golden Bachelor. I think this will be something that you truly enjoy watching it's pretty it's pretty entertaining my dad texted me just out of the blue last night said do you guys have to report on the bachelor i can't believe all the facelifts i'm seeing and i said you know it's the golden bachelor it's all seniors he said yeah that's the only reason I'm watching. Smiley face emoji. Because I was like, Dad, you know this isn't just like a – this isn't the normal cast with a lot of facelifts.

This is older people. I love that your dad's watching the show. It's awesome. If he wants a segment, he's got a segment. Yeah, I don't know if I know if i was he on the mic i probably very good we should have cars we could have him calling about the ufo too yeah tell him to leave a voicemail okay yeah don't like don't like mary snog pie that's right that's a different show we can move it to this one too what okay what is your old man

that's fine. Yeah, I don't know if he's going to stick with it. I think a lot of it was helped out by the fact that the Rangers are on the West Coast, so he didn't have to compete with the ball game. That's good. That's good. Yeah. Yeah.

They hit that magic number yet? No, we've got to get one tonight. Okay. Okay. They'll get it. I can't do it dude just make sure dude perfect doesn't throw out another pitch oh man shout out chad did they derail the entire season they did but we we triumphed back in first place for now okay okay so you guys are just trying to win the division you're not trying to just make the playoffs right well i mean there is a scenario where we miss the playoffs completely

if we lose the next three. But we just need to win one to guarantee playoffs. Win two, get the Diviz. Joan loves listening to Elton John hanging out with her dog and cooking a delicious meal. Look at you. I can see you. You can't stand up.

You're so hard. Dude, you have a lot in common with some of these ladies. Joan. Me and Joan just listening to some Elton, dancing after a couple glasses of wine, chilling with her dog. Like, come on. You're just petting the dog.

The dog loves you. It doesn't get better than that. Not me on Joan's Instagram right now. Not me. Don't. What if this dog is very poorly behaved and she doesn't discipline the the dog what do you mean i don't know i'm just like when dogs do that it's just kind of annoying i think what if i am jones

920 second follower on instagram right now what if no how is she how is she let's get let's get jone to four digits what what if j gets followed? What's her last name? Just search Joan Golden Bachelor on Google, and it'll come up, or Instagram, and then put Instagram in there on Google. It'll come up. Hey, can you scroll, like, deep into her and see what she looked like when she was 50? I mean, no.

She's done some archiving. She's done some strategic archiving. Her grit is fire, though. I mean, yeah, good for her. She's been to Chandelier Bar in Vegas, so she's a big fan of the cosmo she's probably honestly has the cosmo bartender could she have done something to the cosmo bartender that google search yielded me no results on instagram we just give me the freaking handle i wonder if she's been to aqua or haunted house v-a-s-s-o-s shout out to joan yeah i mean got her boom yep she's even doing memes dude she's doing memes welcome to follow town joan population at d

chivalry doing wine memes and she just hit us with a kevin james oh she did not yeah i mean she's a perfect woman you won't follow her i just freaking did you dumb dumb are you trying to get flirty in the dms i don't know that's not i sounded aged i don't want to i'm gonna i'm gonna dm her i said that like hey i turned do you freak do you freak with the dms hey i turn 40 next month what's up what's up with it yeah she'll definitely appreciate you up what's up with it yeah she'll definitely appreciate you saying what's up with it you never know she might be chill like that hit her with the mario she joan got the uh when when joan hears the uh the first few uh notes of uh cupid shuffle at a wedding she's the first one she's out there oh yeah she's out there yep yeah it's like her super bowl joe like when joan went back to her kids like schools for the parents weekend

and stuff like she was holding court she was holding court yeah everyone's just risking it all anyway i wish one of these broads said tequila makes her clothes fall off that'd be a that'd be a funny note for their bio they're worth that many like bit bits at less than a thousand followers this is my time to get her attention before we know it's gonna have like a million and she won't i'll just be another i don't i just don't think she's gonna have a million followers she might she might she's a star in the making i can i want her to be team follow back hey dm her and say hey uh if she follows you back that means she didn't win yeah it's true and that means it's fair game hey i'm gonna message her did you win because i want to know if you're still single

i got a rose for yous for yous dude um tell her you can make her a star like you're like look i am a i am a day one internet sensation i can show you how to get to how many followers you got you got a lot 16k not to brag okay like look at this you see these numbers you can do these numbers i'll show you the roadmap i'm'm on Edith's profile right now. Oh, she's doing better. She's got 2,030 followers. Mother, grandmother, natural gray and Latina, golden bachelor. Oh, no.

Don't show us her daughter. She's beautiful to me. I can't wait to marry her at some point in my life when sally gets rid of me because i'm just in love with a an old woman from golden bachelor god what a life what a life these people are living man are you gonna watch episode two are we gonna watch episode two i will if y'all will i will if y'all will but i think that i think this is probably better served as just like an ending to Monday's episode instead of a weekly episode.

Probably doesn't need a whole, a whole hour blocked off for it. Here's another question. Did y'all watch Bachelor in Paradise? I didn't. There's too many names. I don't know. I watched a trailer for Bachelor in Paradise

and like the first 10 people they showed, I had never seen before. And for that reason, I'm out. Yeah, I'm not, I'm not going to watch it. Yeah, what, are we going to go watch their seasons? No, we're not. Bibiana's probably on there just hating everyone and then freaking out at the end when she doesn't get a rose.

I didn't find my connection. Yeah, because you didn't talk to anyone. Yeah, because you stink, baby. Yeah, you just didn't talk to anyone, Bibiana. What's your problem? Yeah, bibs. I'm going to check in on her. Yeah, I bet you are.

Do you think blake's on there this season i hope not i hope he is dude hope he just gets a job and moves on with his life if blake ever gets on like a season of love island or something i'll be devastated i'll probably stop watching yeah should we play in mary snog kill right now or mary snog pie yeah you guys will be shocked to learn there's a lot of kills a little too real with this crop yes let's do it let's start with mary i mean i'm marrying joe uh no i'm sorry i'm marrying edith and we're gonna have a very good life together i'm gonna marry joe we knew you were married joe you actually like might marry joe at some point it's not off the table i'm gonna snog sorry dave you haven't married anybody yet.

Would you like me to marry somebody? Has anybody married Faith? She's all yours. Oh, yeah. She's going to be driving that hog, and I'm going to have my arms wrapped. Oh, that's good. That's the stuff. Or I'm going to be in a little sidecar. Oh, that's cute.

Yeah, a little sidecar. She trucks along in that thing. I'm going to snog Leslie, the fitness instructor who looks just fantastic and used to date Prince, apparently. I was going to snog Susan because I wanted to see what her veneers were all about. Oh, my God. But I'm going to snog Sandra because I want to taste that potty mouth. That's the dirtiest thing you've ever said.

She's a nasty woman. She's not afraid to say some swear words. Yeah. Did you choose joan for the mary oh you know i didn't i'm snogging joan because you know i want to show her what uh what the the love of a young man could be compared to you i want to make you look bad with my young my young boy swag charm nine months separate you're gonna put that mustache on on her lips oh yeah she's gonna be like i was just you're gonna like she's gonna talk to you afterwards she's gonna be like man

i just i'm thinking about d-man when i'm with you she better not say that he's just younger and more agile i hate to pie this lady but patty's getting pie why are you you felt so bad for patty now you're pying her her tail's already between her legs. I'm just going to pie someone who's already feeling down. Just, you know. Just why do you punch down? Why do you pie down? Because I feel like she already has like the proverbial pie on her. I did pie down.

You're pieing down. I'm sorry, Patty. I hope you rebound okay. Wait, what if you didn't listen to the Love Island stuff? Explain what pieing is in case someone is getting very dirty at home. Yeah, so snog, marry, pie is like F, marry, kill. But snogging means the kissing pieing is like the kill version like i don't like you i'm gonna put pie in your face

yeah it's much you still are alive yeah you still get to live you just have to go wash your face yeah pie in your face because it's like you know you wronged somebody and you deserved it kind of thing i'm pying susan chris jenner yeah just because it's like mix it up a little bit yeah did you did you did you have to like go out of your way is it like her bit that she's like the wedding efficient that looks like chris jenner that'd be a good bit honestly there's probably a lot of people that would probably right probably a lot of people i mean a hater i'm sorry the more i think about it like this is actually a really good idea for her there's probably a ton of people that want to get married by someone who looks like Chris Jenner.

I don't want to pie anybody. I am going to pie someone. I'm going to be pying, and I'm sorry for doing this, David. I'm pying Faith. Pie my call dog? I have to be consistent. If I'm going to be anti-people playing guitar in small settings, I have to be anti-people playing guitar in small settings.

And for that reason, Faith is receiving my pie. Damn, son. Damn. Watch out, Faith. Do you think we could get Kathy on here? Did she get a rose? Yes. Let's get Kathy on here.

She got a rose. We can get her the stew. She probably lives in what? She's putting off... She's putting off Rollingwood vibes. Have we ever been in the same... Have we ever been in the same have we ever been in the same restaurant as kathy before yeah she's in lakeway and what restaurant was this

uh luby's no she doesn't go dude she's she's she goes to like nice ass i think it's like the grove or something dude brett we've been at the grove together the grove lake with her at car brett's floated with her at the car bar she sits she sits alone at the bar just hoping to meet some young stallion who strolls in. Yeah, and unfortunately, Brett's not that guy. That's so mean. I'm just saying. Oh, man.

All right. This was fun, dude. To be honest, I liked this episode of television way more than I anticipated. It was an hour. Being an hour was the nicest surprise ever. Yeah, that was excellent. I thought I screwed something up when I recorded it.

Oh, how late did they have to stay up? It was light outside. Way past their bedtime. What if these broads are all coked up? Dude, they might be. They had to take a nap at like 11. You think Gary's on that gas, that dick gas? Of course he is.

He has to. You can't just get bricked up Whenever you want at that age You're right Gary might be able to I don't know man He definitely owns a boat Just saying I gotta go get Parks from school

Yeah I gotta go to Rhodes Parade I wanna sit here and talk about Hot women in their 60s for longer Did you know Rhodes We'll have other chances Rhodes School is doing a multicultural parade And their class is Ireland? You should give him like...

That's sick. It's crazy. Give him some Guinness or something. Yeah, y'all gonna drink beer? Dude, he has a green track suit, but it's just too warm for it. We wanted him to wear it. We have some zero ABV Guinness in there. Yeah, I don't think I'm gonna...

It's fine. That would be so sick if Parks were just walking to the parade with just a pint. Or Rhodes. No, Parks can be there too. Or Fretz even. Yeah. Both of your sons are gonna be there. so sick if parks was just walking to the parade with just a pint or roads now parks even yeah both of your sons are gonna be there well fritz is fritz's uh got blood from county court i show up with joan and we're just hammered yeah let's go roads she's got she's got a shard with lipstick like the talk of the town is that dylan Dylan and Joan are just getting sloppy at every restaurant. Dude, we just paid the town.

Dude, they are sloppy. We're home by 8.30. Yeah. Joan is your friend's aunt, and you're at his wedding, and she introduces herself. And as she's talking to you, she gets really feely on your back. And you're just like, okay. Don't stop. Oh, no.

She seems like one of those ladies who, when you shake her hand, she holds it for 60 seconds, and you're just like, can I take my hand away, please? What's this about, Joan? Please take my hand away. All right. We got to call. I got to go. Bye.

You think I'm fucking with you? I'm not fucking with you. I'm not fucking with you. I'm not fucking with you. Coffee's for closers only. Coffee's for closers only. Coffee's for closers only. I'm Katja. I'm Sharon.

Bing bong! you