Circling Back - Counteracting Hurricanes & Hiring Dudes Named Brett

Episode Date: September 2, 2019

A monstrous Labor Day special episode where we discuss hiring Brett Merriman, get to the bottom of stopping hurricanes, and analyze the "Panic Room" episode of Succession. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Shop Circling Back Merchandise: www.washedmedia.com/shop Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 20% off) MyBookie: www.mybookie.com (STEAM for bonus) Fulton & Roark: www.fultonandroark.com (RANDY for 15% off) Stance: www.stance.com/circlingback (FREE PAIR) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast live from early bird cbd studio in austin texas my name is will defried to my right dave ruff dude your voice is like two octaves lower yeah what's going on i don't know i'm getting my dylan on today what do you think it's something in the air maybe it's the fall air that's creeping in. Well, so I did what you always should do. Fall air cannot get here soon enough. I can't. I did what you should always do after being sick. It's like the first day that I started feeling good again. I just got hammered. I was wondering if you were getting hammered yesterday. I did a little bit. I did a little bit of drinking yesterday. It was, you know, it was a fun Sunday.

We went to this little place called Matt's El Rancho. You heard of it, Dave? Yeah, it's a tier two Mexican joint in town. We drank some knockout martinis, man. It was good. Yeah, we did. Really glad I did not go. I did the awesome move.

You missed a good time, Dave. I'm only eating half of my meal, and I saved it, and then I left the restaurant without my leftovers. hate when that it was so devastating i was so calculated on how i ate my meal so that i could have a good leftovers and i just left them in the dust what were they chimichangas shake steak taco some refried black beans and all the fixings okay i was very happy about it and uh i just i messed up gotta be i was watching um i was watching football university of oklahoma versus the university of houston the cougars how'd that go i don't know i got a question dylan um it sure looked like jalen was managing that game well

you said he's a noted game manager i was just curious what your thoughts were on the game um i didn't watch most of it because I was at Matt Saurancho. I feel like he did numbers. I feel like he did numbers. He did do numbers. Now look, the guy's good. He put up numbies yesterday. Obviously, I'm talking shit on Twitter. I don't think he's great. I think he's good. You're talking that booty chatter. I think he

played against one of the worst defenses I've ever seen at that level. August 19th, Dylan Chivary. Yeah. Notedivary. Yeah. Noted Texas fan. Sure. You said Texas beats LSU and OU this year. Jalen Hurts is average on his best day.

Now, that's just me talking a little shit. On his best day, he's an average quarterback. How would you classify what he did yesterday? Was that his best day? I think he hit his receiver that was wide open by 20 yards. That was a beautiful pass that literally Will could have made. No, he could not have. Yeah, he could have. No, he could not have.

The only person that might have a worse arm than me is Tom from Succession, which we'll get to. That was awful. Him throwing those water bottles? I was like, dude, you're not even trying to hit Greg. But that wasn't like his only throw. That was probably his longest, but he had some good throws over the middle. Most of them are just within five yards of the line of scrimmage.

No, look, the guy's good. I don't think the numbers show that. The guy's good. I think six touchdowns and 500 yards of offense. We'll see. We'll see when he plays against an actual defense. I'm actually worried about him making it through the season. He takes a lot of hits.

If he's going to run the ball as much, I hope he's built like a Sam Ellinger. One thing I respect about Dave is his concern for quarterbacks. He doesn't like when quarterbacks get hit. No, dude. That's not what happened to RG3. He's taking a lot of contact, man. I forgot that RG3 existed. Still in the league.

Is he really? Who's he playing for? Backs up Lamar Jackson in Baltimore. Damn. Didn't he kind of lose it a little bit? It's good work if you can get it. Oh, yeah, Brian Hoyer just found that out. Yeah, shout out to my Colts.

Brian Hoyer. I think I'm going to ride for the Colts this season. I've really been well-received by their fan base lately. Do you want me to read the text you sent to me about when Andrew Luck retired? Yeah, sure, Dave. What text did I send you? You're just like, I can't believe this.

I just drafted in my fantasy football league. My freaking fantasy league. You're like, God, I hope OJ kills this guy. That's what you said. No, you didn't say it. I will never play fantasy ever again. You're not even in fantasy. I will never play it ever again in fantasy football.

Oh, I love it. No. I'm out. I got my soccer boys going, but I'm not doing it with football. I'm too bad at it. It's I love it. No. I'm out. I got my soccer boys going, but I'm not doing it with football. I'm too bad at it. It's a waste of my money. You know what I have to do Friday, right?

You're right. If I told y'all this, I have. No. My last place punishment for... You got last place? Yeah. You have to bleach your butthole? No.

Oh. That's for the winner. I do have to wait in line at Franklin's and supply barbecue for my whole league on Friday, but I have to do it wearing a dress. Are you serious?

Yeah. So we're clearly going to come see you on Friday. Please do. I need company, man. I'm going to feel like the biggest asshole in the world

just sitting out there in line in the heat wearing a fucking dress. What kind of dress do you get? I don't know. You should wear a romper. I'm going to go to Goodwill. A romper would be funny.

Yeah, I think a romper is actually pretty good, too. Like a lady one? No, no, no. Yeah, a female one. Are you going to get us some? I've never had Franklin's. Can you scoop me some? Come on, dog.

If you're new here, Franklin's is a highly coveted barbecue spot in Austin. You have to get there in line. What's the line? It's like three hours. More than one publication has named it the best barbecue in the world. Which is, I'm not saying a lot because the world's quite big.

It's the world. Yeah. So you could even take that and say like the universe. It is damn good. Dude, I'm like, can we get barbecue today? Dude, why don't you come

wait in line with me? You don't have to wear a dress. No, no, no. Well, I have a house guest that night so he and I might just pop over and just say hi to you. No, that's fine. You should. Who is it?

It's just this dude. Okay. That's weird. Do you really not know who it is? Oh, is he staying with you? Yeah. Yeah, I assumed that that was it. Should we just talk about this?

Brett. Brett from the Should we just talk about this? Brett. Brett from the guy we just hired. Yeah, we just hired a dude. We just hired some dude. We got a higher off. Yeah, this is somewhat of an announcement, right? Are we breaking news right now? Actually, I'm still checking references.

We'll just check Reddit because they have it all figured out over there. Do they? Yeah, so we hired Brett Merriman. I guess his first day technically was yesterday. We didn't really think it through when we made his first day a Sunday. Yeah. Over a holiday weekend.

He needs to learn that we work weekends here. It's a 24-7 job. Major shouts to us for even doing a podcast on Labor Day. Something we're really excited about. Brett's going to be big for us. For all the speculation, we're not hiring him as an office manager. No, no, no. I thought we were. Wait, we're really excited about. Brett's going to be big for us. For all the speculation, we're not hiring him as an office manager. No, no, no.

I thought we were. Wait, we're not? It turns out we don't need an office manager yet. I've always said we need someone to manage the office. That's the cool thing about office managers. He wore other hats while at his prior, I guess we can just say he worked at Barstool Sports. He shouldn't wear other hats. He's got great hair.

Yeah, he does. And that sucked. But he's going to be doing other stuff for us. Dude, are you on Dayquil? What are you doing? No, I'm out of it, though. Are you on anything? No.

No. Just good vibes, man. Welcome to Wilmots. You should have a toddy. Did you have any toddies? I actually have been. Yeah, I thought so. But this is the most Willifreeze thing of all time.

I don't have any normal bourbon. I only have Japanese whiskey, so I've been making toddies with Japanese whiskey. That's an expensive toddy. It's really pointless. I live right next door to a liquor store, too. I could just go over and get some. Also, it's Twin Liquors, big sale.

Yeah, a dollar sale. That's huge. Love that. So what's Brett doing for us? The most general way to describe it is biz dev. Hell yeah. Oh, the one who develops business. Yeah, he develops business.

He's going to drum up business he's gonna he's gonna drum up business for us he's gonna do some ad sales stuff um do you think he'll be filling in for us at any point on this podcast once in a while yeah he will actually he'll be he'll be here he gets here thursday he's not moving here yet he moves here mid-september but he'll be here for a few days next week or i'm sorry this week But Monday, as in a week from today, we're going to have him on the pod. That's the plan as of right now. Litty.

Yeah. Oh, fuck. I'm not going to be here. She can fill in for me. Oh, hell yeah. Oh, perfect. Sorry, Dave. Get out of here, bitch.

Where are you going to be? Shouts to Western New York, though. I'll be in Climber, New York. Climber? 65 degrees. Hardly even newer. There's nothing better than a northern state in september that's my thought and i looked at the forecast it's going to be low in the 50s high in the 60s

and i think that's great i i can't i'm like wondering like how my body's going to take it it's going to be pullover season yeah for sure qz is getting pulled out i'm already looking forward to it randy 20 on rollback i'll be rocking my rollbacks yeah uh you know the funniest thing about the the breath stuff is so i'm kind of the noob when it comes to media and content like as far as like everybody else in this room um i'm newer than you i feel feel like you were doing content before me was scary as though. Well, I did. I did have my blog playoff beard where I just logged my beard. That's true.

And you somehow and you somehow went to like five foot six. Yeah. In that video. Yeah. I didn't realize the extent of which like Brett was a. He wasn't a content guy at Barstool but he was involved in some content whether he wanted to be or not and like so me just now getting into that and seeing what that was like over the last like week has been really kind of funny yeah i'm like oh wow i had no idea because i you know i met

when i met brett first time i didn't know i really didn't know anything about him honestly i just knew he was can i say he's buddies with our boy Klein. Yeah. Our old intern. That's how we were connected with him. Really interesting to listen to Portnoy talk about him on, I guess, Barstool Radio. They're serious. Is that the show he was talking about? Yeah. I think so.

Yeah. On numerous occasions, he talked about Brett leaving. He likes Brett. He gave him the typical Portnoy treatment. He likes Brett, though. Yeah. It's like he likes him. Well, in the blog about Brett leaving, he said he was going to miss Brett.

So, yeah, he liked Brett. I think that's pretty obvious. But, yeah, it's interesting to listen to Portnoy talk about Brett leaving, where Brett was going. A lot of it was just speculation. He didn't exactly know about us. I was pretty bummed to hear that Brett's not going to be the magic bullet.

Yeah. To my understanding, Dylan, you did most of the onboarding stuff like I thought he was going to be. Yeah, you assured us that he was going to take us. You said he is the secret sauce. TBD. TBD.

But yeah, Portnoy called us good sauce. That's what you said to me verbatim. TBD. But yeah, Portland called us good guys. That was nice. That's a win. Yeah, that was cool. It's also tight that everyone thinks that we work for BroBible. Yeah. Why does everyone think that? I think...

You put off BroBible vibes. It's just like... I think... Shout out to... Is it Brandon? BroBible dude? Yeah. I don't know him.

I've never interacted with him. He's always just... I always see him on Twitter. He seems like a good dude i'll be honest i have no issue with the bro bible guys oh i don't either they all seem like good guys didn't you write for them at one point i wrote a couple of columns for him yeah see i was right i mean i you don't want to be associated with that brand though like always i'd have no problem saying that they put bro in like every sentence it's you hate the word bro more than anything yeah i do i do we used to use it like ironically and then i met dylan and i was like i have to stop using it ironically

because dylan's not taking it in that way so like i can't say it anymore i think dave portnoy not not rough he knows that we're not bro bible guys i think it was just his like subtle like dig dig it yeah being like these who are these guys like no one knows who they are types and that's fine he did mention that they had it we had a conversation with them um before starting washed which is true yeah you did yeah i did portnoy and i had a little phone conversation about the possibility of us joining barstool in some capacity we had a couple different ideas. We were bouncing back and forth.

Obviously, it did not come to fruition, as in he didn't return my emails. Which is just funny to look back on. I think it worked out for us in the long run. Yeah, the best way they probably could have. But yes, we did hire Brett, and we're very excited about it. So you don't run the Barstool Longhorn account? I don't run Barstool Austin which doesn't actually exist, no.

There's Barstool Texas State. I think they follow me. Yeah, I mean they're just these Twitter accounts, right? I don't think they're actually like, they don't actually have blogs or anything, do they? I don't believe so. Yeah, I don't know. We talked about several possibilities for what the Austin branch would look like.

Well, at the end of the day, the ringer just made us a better offer. Yeah, exactly. For sure. Yeah. Let's just make enemies among every peer that we have on Twitter. I don't have the energy for it.

I got time. My Twitter game is just too inconsistent right now. Dude, I was having a real big Twitter slump last week and I woke up on Saturday and I was like, I got nothing to do today. Sally's out of town. I'm just sitting on my couch watching TV. I was like, I'm going to tweet out of it.

Tweet out of it, I did. You always tweet through. I did Numbies this weekend. Good for you, man. Thank you. I appreciate everyone's support dylan threw me threw me some likes like right in a row and i was like dude dylan's liking my tweets right now this is sick if i'm liking your shit you know you're doing something right i almost skipped this podcast to go dove hunting yeah yeah that was a good tweet i would have been so that only gets more niche i love the dave's not letting go of like the super old like hyper

niche jokes i've thought about very few people know about I've thought about for like a week just changing my name to like 2000 like you know how the Chili's guy changed his name

to like 2012 frat tweeter or something like that and he was just doing old TFM bits I was thinking about just doing that for PGP and just doing office gifs

for like an entire week like on your personal yeah you should do it I don't know about that I think I'm gonna do it no I'm gonna do it I'm gonna use the word that. I think I'm going to do it. No. I'm going to do it.

I'm going to use the word bro a lot and at Dylan every time. Oh, bro. Dude, bro. Bro. Dude, Bro Bible's doing, what's the Entourage podcast?

Yeah. Shout out to them. Your boy was on it. Oh, yeah. You were on that. That's a Bro Bible podcast? Yeah. They have,

since when? They have a synergy. They have a synergy. Oh, so shout out to them. Dude, should we bear hug BroBubble? They could bear hug us. I don't know what bear hugging even means. It means offering way above market value. Dude, that's tight.

To put the shareholders in basically a must-sell situation, I think. Yeah, pretty much. That's tight. I'm gonna start doing that. I'm gonna start doing it in like everyday situations. Like sitting at the counter at like the grocery store

and be like yo I'll pay you $40 for this steak. I'll bear hug you bitch. That's weird because they would sell it to you anyway. It's really not you're not like

going back and forth. No I'm gonna bear hug my butcher dude. I don't think it works that way. Dude it totally works that way. That's how it works. There's nothing worse than when you go to your butcher

and you think you're like in with him and shit and he's gonna hook you up and you're like hey man y'all got any specials like anything like in the back he's like no man

everything's right here in front of you you're like yeah anything in the back though like maybe like a dope ass ribeye that you know you're not supposed to sell but like because we're cool

he's like oh dude I'm dry aging this from my boy Dave. Yeah, sorry, server. Someone just bear hugged us 30 minutes ago. We sold our last high quality piece of meat. There's just a sock waiting in line with a giant dry aged ribeye that says Dave on it. All the other butchers are like, who's Dave?

It's like, oh, he's this dude. He comes in. He's wearing stance socks all the time, and he just got done working out. All hopped up on cold brew yeah pretty yeah he pretty much nailed it yeah dude i thought of something funny in the gym locker room so this is this is weird remember like when we first started this podcast like uh i feel like the first two months of this podcast are nothing but us talking about like dude's behavior in the gym locker room that's what it was like I mean it was every episode

yeah well I was thinking today like about the guys who when they're getting dressed like after they shower they put their towel on they keep it on and they try to do like the the underwear while the towel's on I'm really good at that move. I watch them like, I'm not watching them, but out of the corner, the dude right next to me is trying this move. Sometimes you see things. People lose,

no, but not seeing it, but like they lose their balance because it's hard to get your foot through and not have it throw you off and you kind of fall and lean against like the lockers. It's just not worth it, dude.

Just drop the towel. No one's, no one's looking at your shit. I was that kid in like middle school and high school. No, more middle school. High school, I got a little freer. But I was that kid in middle school, high school. No, more middle school. High school, I got a little freer. But I was that kid.

I didn't like being seen naked. I don't like being naked. I think it's different when you're a kid. I wish I was a naked person. I wish I was big on being naked, but I'm just afraid. I'm not big on it, but at the end of the day, there's just something defeating about when you're bent over and you're trying to balance on one leg,

getting your foot through the little hole in your boxer briefs, your little me undies, and you're kind of falling. And people are like, what the fuck's this guy's deal? I talked to one of Dylan's high school buddies, and he told me that Dylan was a swimsuit guy. No. In the locker rooms. I was not.

He would only go swimsuit. I was a major naked boy in high school. Are you a never nude? Baseball guys are all swimsuit. I was a major naked boy in high school. Are you a never nude? Baseball guys are all naked guys. I was a serious naked guy in high school. Baseball guys love showing dong. We were just weird.

Baseball guys are the weirdest breed of athletes. We were weird, man. I'm telling you. If you gave me a list of all the major athletes to hang out with, baseball guys would be hands down my last one.

If you could spend one day in the locker room with me back then, you'd be like, Dylan and his friends are fucking psychotic i feel like the most like uncomfortably weird locker room would be like not not like the university of texas is like baseball teams locker room but maybe like steven f austin like a smaller school that like there's probably some guys who who have talent to maybe go play in, you know, AAA, but they're just like,

you know, they've got fucked up grades or they, you know, they lit a guard shack on fire or something weird. They just didn't get along with the coach at UT. They didn't get along with the coach. So they recruited. Yeah.

So they don't take it that seriously. So they're just pretty much in there doing like wiener and poop jokes all day. Like that's pretty much all they got. Or like Sam, I think it's Sam Houston State might be ground zero for that. I have no extra knowledge on that, but I just had that vibe from them. Dude, I'm bummed that T-State didn't pull it out against the Aggies. Yeah.

Dude, they had them. Turns out they were overmatched at every position. They had them, man. One or two plays goes a different way, and you never know. Dude, it's a whole different game. It's a whole different game. out there uh overmatched in every position they had them right they had them man you just want one or two plays goes a different way and you never know it's a whole different game a whole different game it's a whole different game i watched way too much of that game i watched all of that game dude i watched a lot of football on saturday all i did this i know that game was that's all i did well we got we went to matt's last night together. That Auburn game delivered. That was a good game.

Teams who were supposed to win won mostly. The SEC had a tough weekend. It's not good to be the SEC right now. A lot of people are saying the SEC's down. Hate to see it. Actually, you don't. No one feels bad for the SEC. Anything else on Brett we need to... Let's see. We'll let him. What's he doing for us? I don't. No one feels bad for the SEC. Anything else on Brett we need to...

Let's see. We'll let him. What's he doing for us? I don't understand. He's just going to hang out with us. Nobody tells me these things. I found out on Reddit that we hired a guy. Yeah, I know.

Me too. Dylan's just going rogue. Basically, we just want another squad member. Dylan owns more watch than we do. We're going to pay him to hang out with us. That's honestly how this works. That's how Will got a job. We need a fourth for golf, obviously.

He plays. Yeah. I've played with him. He's a good player. Now that Intern Klein lives in Dallas, he can't play with us as much. We needed a fourth. Sorry, Intern Klein. Should we just kick Intern Klein out of our group text and just replace him with Brett?

Yeah. Saturday, I went to the golf course hit balls at 11 a.m. Why? There was a group, so I go into Kaiser. I don't know. I just the golf course, hit balls at 11 a.m. Why? There was a group. So I go into Kaiser. I don't know. I just wanted to do something. It was too hot.

It was. And there was a group and the guys inside were like, well, they just showed up. And the guy was like, oh, they're dicking around on the putting green. I'm like, who are they talking about? These guys had a 1056 tee time. There's 10 of them. They were going to play two fivesomes, but they were like asking if they could all play together. They were clearly out of town bachelor party guys.

10? And they were all renting clubs. No one's doing 10. And they were playing on clay, and they were like yelling back at their buddy as I'm like out getting my clubs. They're like, hey, see if they could give us some tees or something, man.

These rental clubs don't have tees. And like, I was just thinking how miserable. Why would anybody who comes in town for a bachelor party, if you're not serious about golf enough to bring your clubs or to have them travel with you, renting clubs is not a fun option. Who knows, but maybe Delta lost all their clubs. Maybe they did.

Especially when it's like 98 degrees at 11 a.m. in Texas and there's no wind and it's just fucking disgusting outside. There's something about a bachelor party and playing like 10 dudes deep that like you want to do it and you justify it in your head but it's like the worst idea ever are you saying they wanted to play in one group the guys inside were like yeah they wanted to play all together they wanted to all tee off together oh my god i'm like this no you don't just we did so we it's a holiday weekend we did this for a bachelor party and we

went to a course and we kind of we started playing together and there was one other group um that was behind us and we started doing a scramble and i think it was five on five so i think we had this exact same situation the people behind us like i think they probably weren't happy about it because if i looked ahead and i saw 10 people playing together ahead of me i'd be pissed the ranger came up to us and we knew exactly what he was going to say but we jumped the gun a little bit when he started talking to us and we were just like,

they're not even right behind us. And we just jumped down the guy's throat and we were like, we're sorry. We probably should just play 5-5 instead. I just felt guilty. You don't pull that move until the last couple holes yes when everybody's a little sauced up the round starting to drag that's when you come together what together

right now that's when you get together and play you don't do you don't try to go 10 off the first tee no no you got to wait until like you've got your stronghold on the course and you just like know that you're not going to get sniped by somebody. Oh, God. You could just tell these guys closed down Parlor and Yard the night before. They were just, oh, God, it looked like a tough time. I'm going on a bachelor party in two weeks, and I'm excited for it, but I'm also dreading it.

Damn. Too old for this shit. It's in San Diego, right? Yeah. Dude, that's going to be the the worst place i might just go rogue i love san diego you're gonna go to that bar the uh that our t-man was at and our friend caleb i'm gonna have to hit up t-man what was that bar i don't know the deck i'm not sure all the bachelor people were there apparently i got nothing but love for san diego

yeah great city t-man t- T-Man got some clay time. He texted me about it. He met Clay? Yeah, he met Clay. Said the dude's a total dud. Duh. Yeah, we watch him every week. No one's surprised about that.

I guess Bibiana was there just crying. No, she wasn't. Dylan's girl, Bibs. Oh, she sucks. BB? Yeah, I've turned a corner on her, and now I officially am on the Dylan train of hers. Thank you for seeing the light.

I used to be a fan of her. That mic drop was just so swaggy, you know? No, it wasn't. She crushed it. It was cringy. She dropped the mic. Hey, should we talk about this trailer park dude? Hurricane Man?

No, let's talk about my bookie instead real quick. Okay. If you found hundred dollars on the street would you pick it up or would you keep walking i'd probably pick it up of course you'd take the money dylan so why do you keep picking winners and not betting on them to be fair dylan's not picking winners maybe you should be betting on them to make your brain work a little harder that's why we go to my bookie it's's fast, it's easy, and they pay when you win. Let's face it. Where you're betting is just as important as who you're betting on. We wouldn't be telling you to do this if they weren't the best.

Do the smart thing. If you're going to bet this football season, do it with MyBookie. I mean, like, come on, Dylan. Why are you calling me out on that? Because, dude. You guys don't even want to know about my action over the weekend. Yeah? Oh, yeah.

You don't want to know about it. Trust me. I didn't get my bet in in time for the Arsenal-Tottenham game yesterday, but had I, I would have lost my bet. That would have been fun. I had fun watching that soccer game. The pitch was lit. It was lit on the pitch, David.

If you want to get lit in your living room while watching some games, get some skin in the game. Join now, and my bookie will double your first deposit. Use promo code STEAM, S-T-E-A-M, to activate the offer. That's promo code STEAM. Visit mybookie.ag today. You play, you win, you get paid. Let's talk about this, dude.

Do we have a name on this guy? I love this guy. He's a cane man? Yeah, he's electric. Let's just play this, dude. Do we have a name on this guy? I love this guy. Hurricane Man? Yeah, he's electric. Let's just play the clip right now. It's gone viral on Twitter. Yeah, this is doing numbers on Twitter. This is a guy from a mobile home park in Palm Bay

talking about how we should stop the hurricanes, and I think he makes a good point here. Can't see how they haven't come up with some kind of way to combat these storms yet. They keep saying, you know, two days ago, three days ago, oh, it's going to hit all this warm weather, all this warm weather and warm water. We have a Navy. Why don't the Navy come and drop ice in the warm water so that it can't get going as fast as it's going great boy

there's got to be ways to combat this instead of just pointing at the thing and say well it's now it's getting worse yeah we know it's getting worse but you tell us oh it's the warm weather oh it's the wind well we have an air force drive some air force planes around to get the winds going the opposite way the navy to go in circles to fight it the other way. Can't see how. He makes a good point. Warm weather, warm water. Yeah.

It's a great point. Just dump a bunch of ice. If we have planes that can break the sound barrier, why could we not just fly like really fast into the eye of the hurricane and just break the eye barrier? Yeah. The barrier wall. Yeah.

I mean, you got to think it's only going to take like a couple billion tons of ice right like it's easy to come by just go dump it in the water like what's the big deal it could be good pub you could get a sponsor like uh you know those ice makers yeah you could just have them we need like a saltwater refrigerator or something yeah you could convert salt water into... You know what? Can you freeze salt water? That's a good question. No one's ever tried it.

Yeah, no one really knows, Dave. No, you definitely can. So they could suck it up from the ocean. They could suck it up from the ocean and then just put it right into the ice maker. And then like 16 minutes later, it's usually what mine takes, you got the cubes coming out.

Yeah. Yeah, it's easy, man. Why not dry ice? What if I use dry ice? Did you? I don't even know if I want to talk about this. Do you see that guy on Twitter? No.

I don't. He put his hands in dry ice. Why did he do that? Because he's a furry. You know what a furry is? Of course I do. Yeah, that's not what i thought yeah and so he put his hands on dry ice and he did this so that apparently this is a thing people

do so that they had to get amputated because he wanted to have paws and so they amputated his hands oh my god and he like wouldn't explain he like kind of went viral and i think he ended up deleting his account but he was doing it and it was because he just wanted claws. And like, it was one of the creepiest things I've ever seen. And then I started going on like Wikipedia and reading about like the furry culture. And I was like,

Oh my God, that is next level dedication to your, your craft, your fetish, your fetish. Did he end up getting some paws? I don't know. Like now he just doesn't like,

I feel like you could get paws with like, you could just put on paws. It's like, there's a better way. Yeah. Like don't know like now he just doesn't like i feel like you could get paws with like you could just put on paws it's like there's a better way yeah like don't freeze your hands off yeah don't freeze your fingers off dog maybe dry ice isn't the move because then if people are swimming i guess you wouldn't swim during the hurricane look they just gotta they gotta make one of those like the big ice scoopers you see in the ice machines right just make one that's like size of a battleship. Yeah, exactly. Fill that bitch up and then just dump it

over the Gulf. Get a snow machine and just blast it straight into the water. They should just put Paul Wall on a boat and send him into the middle and he'll cool down everything.

He's the ice man. I mean, they make those giant ice cubes for ice luges like you see at parties, you know, for shot blocks. Dude, that should be the philanthropy that all these fraternities are doing in Florida. Band together with for ice luges like you see at parties, you know, for shot blocks. Dude, that should be the philanthropy that all these fraternities are doing in Florida. Band together with your ice luges and just fucking dance it.

They need to get in touch with fraternities in Florida. You could probably put them in touch. And connect them with their ice luge guy. Hey, you could help out, right? And just buy, like, I don't know, like a couple billion of those ice cubes. It's got to be easy to make. I remember we did those shot blocks at a couple parties, and most people wouldn't use them because they were scared they were going to get herpes.

Yeah, that makes sense. Which I don't even know if herpes can live on ice. Did you ever figure that out? I know you were wondering. I was not wondering, actually, no. You said when you were dating that Eskimo. I'm sorry. That never happened.

I just Googled it. Can herpes live on ice? It's hard to say. Is that what it says? It's hard to say. I didn't like doing ice luchas. It's not worth it. They're gross.

It's like a novelty. Yeah, but the ice is constantly melting, so you got a fresh surface every 15 seconds. It's kind of true, I guess. It is, if you want to justify it in your head. It is. You could also say the germs are just melting with it. The point of it is it cools everything off, so you could shoot fireball or whiskey, anything,

and it just goes down and it's cold and you don't taste it. I always felt like I never even got anything out of it. I always felt like I just put my mouth on something cold and it just walked away. It doesn't work very well. That's why we should re... What's the term I'm looking for? We need to dome in the ocean. That's what I'm saying. Because they suck as ice loses.

So if you're out there and you know rushes this week, I think, right? Most people are doing rush. Take your rush parties. Any money you've got allocated to Chateluche, just donate it to our charity. You can write it off. It's a write-off. It's a deduction.

It's an expense and stuff. Should we make an ice luges for Dorian shirt? I don't think so. Is Dorian still moving at one mile per hour? Yeah, dude. What's up with that? Crawl him, man. Come on, get a move on.

How about this dude thinking that just flying jets will just totally reverse the wind direction? Prove him wrong. Dude, Dorian's just riding slow. I guess I can't. Dorian's just slow, loud, and banging across the Atlantic. Just fucking taking his sweet-ass time. That shit's scary. It's a scary hurricane.

Looks like it's a it's a scary hurricane looks like it's gonna probably okay i'm seeing mixed things on it if it's gonna make landfall in florida at all a lot of meteorologists are like no it's just it's gonna turn north and it you know it might fuck with the carolinas but man i kind of went in deep on meteorology twitter last night there's some people saying some of the there's one model that has it making landfall like, I don't know, south of Jacksonville or something, which I immediately thought about

our friends in that area. Jupiter Beach, Neptune. Let's see. Jack Beach. Jack's Beach is what we call it. Yeah, it might just sweep across that entire eastern side of the state.

We don't know. It might hit South Carolina, North Carolina, part of Virginia. We don't want that. Bermuda's over there shaking in their boots right now imagine being in bermuda you're like shit i don't wear boots over there it's true when you're you're an island time there yeah come on dog well if i mean where was epstein's island uh virgin islands so it's not near there? Dude. I always confuse this.

What if this was done by big media and they dropped a hurricane to go destruct Epstein's place? How do you drop a hurricane? I don't know. Didn't George Bush have a hurricane machine? Yeah. If you can drop trout out of a plane, I think you can make a hurricane. Do you just run really fast in a circle and get the wind, start whipping?

Some guy on Twitter was saying that he saw that they were seeding the clouds and they were trying to make it move further west. I don't know if that's been... Is that a thing? Cloud seeding? Yeah. It is.

I don't know how much it works. I think they do it in China. Interesting. Yeah. Look it up. Look it up, man. If you're in the path, I hope everyone's safe.

Head on a swivel, man. Evacuating is no joke. That sucks. Did you guys see Pat Riley just going off in Saint-Tropez? Yeah, I did, man. Where is that compared to where this hurricane is? I'm assuming nowhere near. I think it's like...

I'll be honest. I have no clue where Saint-Tropez is. You could tell me it's off the coast of Portugal. Let's all guess, and then we'll look it up. There's probably a time in my life where I called it Saint-Tropez is. You could tell me it's off the coast of Portugal. Let's all guess, and then we'll look it up. There's probably a time in my life where I called it Saint-Tropez, and people just thought I was a fucking loser. This is embarrassing. Why do I want to say it's completely across the Atlantic?

I want to say that, too. I was thinking Portugal or Spain. The only thing I know about Saint-Tropez is what Diddy told me in I Need a Girl Part II, that he wanted to go to Saint-Tropez and see a brother play a mandolin okay so yeah it's probably Spain look it up hold on um yeah like is it the Mediterranean is that where it is do we sound like idiots right now yeah I think it's overseas in like an ocean yeah I think it's across the Atlantic it's like it's around. So it's not even an island, I just found out. I thought it was an island.

No, I knew it wasn't. It's in the French Riviera. Okay. Are we the brokest podcast ever right now? We were on the right side of it. We did good. We did good. What are we talking about? French Riviera is not that far from Spain or Portugal.

Let's see. French Riviera, that sounds like a tight place to vacay. You got to think that people have money there. Here's the thing, Dave. What did you say, Spain? I said Spain, Portugal, which is like, you know, very, very close. It's pretty far away. Yeah, but hemisphere.

You're closer than like, whatever. It's near Monaco. So it's not going to be affected by Dorian. No, I think they're safe. I think D. Wade and Pat Riley are safe. It's near Marseille. Nice. Okay.

Con. That's kind of just like... It's near Cons. Yeah. Cons. But they're just dancing on a boat together wearing weird outfits. And now Pat Riley's got his beard. He looks like Pop.

He's still moving well. Is he done? I didn't know he was retired. Is he not still in the front office? I think he's a front office guy now. Someone on Twitter said retirement's going well for him, but I don't think he's actually retired, this Pat Riley guy. A lot of people thought Pat Riley might have

been dead because of his trending. Oh, he's definitely still in the front office. Okay. Michael, we nailed where this place was. We all had good guesses. Yeah, we fucked it up. Yeah. In the good way. Dude, I just got word that my uncles who were going to drive from

the other side of Florida to New York may be canceling due to the hurricane. Man, be safe. I feel like they're good. That's what I'm thinking. They're good. They were going to go right up the seaboard. I don't know, man.

I guess they don't fly. Are your uncles aware that they might just fly some planes to counteract it? I mean, my uncle was texting me. He's like, we have a Navy. What if everyone in Florida takes their fans and they put them in their window and they just point it toward the ocean so that it blows it the other way?

I feel like you need a lot of industrial-sized fans. What if you get every fan? Those used to scare me as a kid, by the way. Industrial fans? The big-ass box one that you would see in a gym that didn't have air conditioning, and they would just... Scare you? They're just very intimidating.

You're such a bitch, dude. You were never scared of the industrial fans. You wouldn't just talk into it? I wasn't scared of a fan. They were too big to talk into. What about the big-ass fans? What are you talking about? Oh, like the ceiling ones? The brand. Those things those things are tight yeah those are bad i like like they

nailed the branding on that they look yeah they look like uh like like propellers for planes man they're like big ass is it what if you're in a restaurant it just took off i don't know man weird like the restaurant took off or the fan? The restaurant. Wow. Because of the fan. Didn't even think about that. That would have to be really spinning. Man. What are we even doing? So. Nobody.

We just brought up Pat Riley. We didn't say why. Because he's fucking it up in Saint-Tropez. Him and D-Wade are dancing on a yacht in Saint-Tropez. In a pirate outfit. They're doing it together. Why are they dressed as pirates? Because it was a theme party, Dave.

It's what you do when you're rich and have nothing to do. I want to go to a theme party in Central Valley. It's kind of tight that like, I mean, D-Way's just retired now and he gets to hang out with old dudes. That's the dream. Yeah.

Dude, you got to have an old dude in the squad. Didn't they come out the heat's ass or something? Yeah. Yeah, he very much likes to. Big time ass guy. gabrielle union she apparently loves it good for her i guess i don't know she has not aged a day not for me she looks gorgeous she's a very attractive black woman yes i don't okay all right what you could have just said woman that's yeah that's true. She's gorgeous.

She is. Isn't she in like... Is she there too? Is she on that... I don't know. Maybe she was the one taking the vid. That's a great point. They need someone recording it. Imagine eating ass in a pirate outfit.

I don't want to. I'm doing it. It's not really doing much for me. Not a big butt guy, myself. You're not a butt kiss award winner. I'm sorry to anyone out there who's in their office depressed on Labor Day and they have to listen to this podcast.

We're working on Labor Day. We're killing it, right? What are you talking about? This is a decent... Even though Dylan's hungover, I can tell. Everyone can hangover. You're all somber and shitty. You are somber and shitty, dude.

What? Are you kidding me? what do you have later on in the day you're acting like you have like the vibe of a guy who's got some beating to do later like you got to go to like a baby shower or some i'm just gonna call brett and just sit on the phone with him for like four hours where's he at what's he doing i don't know y'all fucking hired this guy live in austin y'all hired this fucker and i don't even know what he's doing shut up he requested access to a spreadsheet earlier. I gave it to him.

I need him to sign his W-4. Yeah. If you're listening, Brett, please sign your... And your I-9. Did you sign your I-9? What's an I-9? Fucking idiot. Dude, are we sure this is a good idea?

No. It'll work itself out. I just went to the new Fulton & Rourke site. If you guys haven't been, they've majorly upgraded this website. Are you kidding me? No. I'm not messing around at all. Oh, my God.

Let me see. It's just video. Dylan, show him. This thing is pure sex. Whoa. This is just a beautiful video about how to smell good and get going. There's people literally having sex. No, it's not.

No, it's not. Well, Dylan, you just said. I saw a guy drinking some coffee. That's tight. Now he's applying the wax base. Okay, yeah. This guy's having a good day. He's going off.

He's having a day. I started my day today with a little Fulton and Rourke 2-in-1 body wash. That's what I use. I feel like this thing is never going to end. I've been pumping this thing for months, and it's still there. I feel like it's never going to run out. It's bottomless. It's bottomless.

It feels like it's never going to end. It's great. It's fantastic. One pump goes a long way. Yeah, it does. I used to be a two-pump boy. Not anymore. I've realized how much I can get out of just one.

Look, don't sleep on the face wash, man. The scent is great. It doesn't dry your skin out. It's just nice, man. It's very convenient if you're a gym guy. They've got like the travel size. Throw in your gym bag. Go in there so you don't have to use their trash as soap.

These guys are more than just like a cologne company. No one's talking about that. Actually, we talk quite a bit about it. Oh, it's true. It's true. We just talked about the two-in-one body wash for a full two minutes. Dude, something we haven't talked about, the bricks, the soap. Remember those bars of soap?

It's milled three times. Triple mill. No one's doing that. Not once, not twice, but thrice. No one is doing that. So when they milled it the first time, they were like, all right, that's a single milled soap. They did it the second time, and they were just like,

dude, don't do it, don't do it again. He's like, no, I'm triple milling this. After the first and second mill, they were like, this is a dope-ass soap, but we could probably make it even doper. And so they went ahead and did something that no one else is doing. They milled it a third time. Imagine, like, there was probably a dude who was like, should we go four times? They're like, dude, stop it.

Dude, Kyle, chill. We can't do four times. The market's not ready for that. It's like that scene in whatever the, what was the, Chernobyl, where they're like, they're cranking it up or whatever. Keep going. Yeah, they're like, no. Like, sir, should I?

And he's like looking back. He's like, keep going. That's absurd. Dude, sir, we can't do this anymore. Keep milling. We're going to have a meltdown, sir. Keep milling the soap. If you want your own triple milled soap,

you can use promo code Randy for 15% off at FultonandRourke.com. Again, that's promo code Randy. That's your at fulton and rourke.com again that's that's promo code randy that's your dog's name right randy 15 off at fulton and rourke.com check it out can we do something that i've been horned up to do for the last like hour is it talk succession i want to talk about succession okay shouts to hbo for realizing that people had a messed up weekend so they were just releasing it early no one like so that's so nice of them i was home all weekend i thought about watching it friday and my wife and i we discussed it we're like i kind of like having it on sunday night uh-huh don't want to don't want to uh unwrap this present yet yeah let's just wait i was gonna watch it last night but instead dylan and i had beers, so I did not watch it.

I woke up this morning and was like, I should probably watch it before we talk about it on this podcast. I was wondering if you guys were going to do that. So I watched it this morning. And I have to say, I was a little... Dylan, you didn't watch it, did you? Yes, I watched it yesterday afternoon. I was a little bummed.

You put off don't watch it vibes. I watched it. Did you watch it, Dylan? I enjoyed it quite a bit. So I can honestly say this is the... I'm known as the guy who doesn't laugh very often. I laughed out loud, like, not hysterically, but I laughed out loud quite a bit during Roman's scene at the end.

Dude, what the hell? Sally and I were sitting there like, is this really happening right now? Dude, I was watching it covering my eyes, which is weird. I know. Dude, Jerry was low-key into it. Yeah, Jerry. Well, they had some tension last week, some sexual tension. And I'm wondering, Mike, is he just doing this?

What is he doing? Is he going to pipe Jerry? Dude, Jerry's a power puller. I get it. Yeah. She's a boss. She was into it, dog. She's a boss.

She's low-key running a lot of that company. Oh, yeah. For sure. She's low-key running a lot of that company. Oh, yeah, for sure. She's like the Dick Cheney of that. She's just playing chess right now. Yeah, 3D chess. Okay. Three-dimensional. Yeah, four-dimensional.

She found the fourth dimension. I mean, I was kind of bummed when they sent Roman to that class, but now that he's going to promote that one dude and just fast track that guy, I was like, dude, hell yes. I love that guy.

Yeah. I thought he was a little bit over the top. Like how out of it, like he's like, Oh fuck this. You know, he's being really loud and obnoxious. I'm like,

okay, nobody would really be like this, but no one saw the video and just knew that it was him. I think they figured they knew they were just they knew. They were just playing it cool. Okay. Ron. Is that the dude's name? Ron Rockstone.

That's what he called himself. Oh, Ron Rockstone, yeah. I'm not going with Ron if I'm making up a name for myself for the first time. Yeah, I don't know. Ron Mexico. Wasn't that Michael Vick? Yeah, that was his alias. That doesn't seem like, yeah. He should have know. Ron Mexico. Wasn't that Michael Vick? Yeah, that was his alias. That doesn't seem like, yeah.

He should have gone with Ron Mexico. That sounds tighter than Ron Rockstone. Ron Mexico. You told me once that your name would be Billy Texas. That's not my name. What would yours be? It would be... Mine would be Dan Trope.

Mine would be... Yamanall mine. Garrett. Gilbert? No. I don't know. He's your boy, dude. How about Shane Buchel?

Why'd you choose Garrett? How about Shane Buchel looking pretty good for the Ponies? Did he have a good game? Yeah. I mean... Yeah. Looked okay. Missed some throws, but...

Dave, Dylan and I talked about this before. I'm not going to act like I watched it. I think, honestly, I just saw what KJ, our friend KJ on Twitter. He's my go-to. Yeah, I mean, seriously, me too. Can we talk about how much media companies are worth? Yeah. When they started throwing out numbers, were you a little shocked?

21 bill went up to 24. What's Kendall doing? Dude, he's just, yeah, the girl was right. She was like, dude, you're just bidding against yourself. And then he kept going. And the dad chimed in. Shiv's over there like, what's going on? Did he not's just, yeah, the girl was right. She was like, dude, you're just bidding against yourself. And then he kept going. And the dad chimed in. Shiv's over there like, what's going on? Did he not ever read The Art of the Deal?

Dude, right? I think, what was the woman's name for Pierce? I think she was basically implying that you're going to have to get that number up without having to say it. That's why he was like upping the number. get that number up without having to say it. That's why he was like upping the number. Because Logan was basically encouraging Kendall to do it.

And afterward, he said, good job. I thought Shiv was going to close the deal when they kind of struck up a conversation like they knew each other. Because Shiv's, I mean, she's not like a super, what's the word? Yeah... What's the word? Yeah, what's the word, David? I think she's more liberal in her views. Okay.

Or at least in her politics. Okay. You know, the guy she worked... Gil. Gil's kind of a Bernie Sanders type. Get him out of here. Gil's... Get the fuck off my screen.

He is such a little cuck. I hate him. You don't like Gil? No, I'm not a Gil guy. First of all, no one named Gil is like a Northeastern dude. Gil's a fucking... There's a guy... I grew up at Redbird Skateland.

The guy who owned it, his name was Gil. The guy who owns a skating rink in Duncanville, Texas is named Gil. Not some like... Gil. Dude from like Vermont. What a weird name. Oh, Gil. Is it short for Gilbert?

Gil's a dude at the country club that takes your money. Imagine just being named Gilbert. Maybe it's short for Gilbert. But it just makes a lot more sense. Like, if you write that, like, you have to go through every day of your life by just being like, my name's Gilbert. It's not ideal. What if your name was Garrett Gilbert? Dave, how much do you think

Walt Disney is worth? The company, not the man. He's cryogenically frozen, though. He is. Also, allegedly a Nazi sympathizer back in the day. Kind of like our man on ATN. Raven Head? Where's he frozen? Why was that guy's name Raven Head? Why don't we just throw Walt Disney in the ocean?

You go view his... They should throw Ted Williams' head under the hurricane. Yeah. If Walt Disney really cared about his theme parks and the safety of them he would throw himself into the ocean for this i'm gonna say well i'm gonna say the disney fortune is worth i'm gonna say 40 billion dollars this is as of 2014 just by the way i just want to clarify that haven't they bought all the comics and shit, like the Avengers or whatever? Don't they own that now?

It's got to be worth more now. Would you say they were worth, Dave? They don't? Oh, I don't know. I said $40 billion. No. Higher? Nope. Lower?

$22.5. So right around where Pierce is. Interesting. So you got to think Pierce is a major player in the media game. I feel like $40 billion wasn't a bad guess. Disney's like a... No I feel like 40 billion wasn't a bad guess. Disney's like a... No, I don't think it was a bad guess. I mean...

Disney did Mighty Ducks. How much is our media company worth? About that. We're about where Disney is, I think. And be mindful that Disney owns, you know, ABC, ESPN. Yeah. Big time. Corporate masters.

Yeah. Google is the top media company. They're 60, Bill, as of 2014. These numbers have to have drastically changed over the last five years. I don't care for that. Why, Dave? You know, I don't know.

Just Google, they're just doing a lot. Yeah. They own everything. I was shopping for home security, and they own, I don't know if it's Ring or Nest. They own one of them. It's like a fucking course you do. I think I might get rid of all my smart devices in my home. What about Bing? How much is Bing worth?

How much is Firefox worth? Actually, didn't, what's his face? Roman? Roman? No. What's his face? Roman? No. What's the dad's name? Why am I blanking? Logan. Logan.

Logan got rid of his because he didn't want to get spied on. His smartphone? No, his, like, whatever. Amazon Alexa. His Alexa? Yeah. I've got, like, two of them now. I don't...

I don't trust him. Must be nice. Yeah, dude. They gave me one when i was buying a home security thing okay you're getting you know you do you have you do you have the sticker over your uh camera on your laptop just so you can't get watched by the fbi uh only for certain times oh dylan like that you're dirty man no I'm like

when I'm watching UFC or something dude 90% of the dirty jokes on this podcast come from Dave Ruff it's true Dave has the dirtiest mind out of this entire room

you're a dirtbag dude what is that even why did that even come up is Shiv gonna get is Shiv we all talked about this last night this sounds like a conversation you had last night

no I swear I just got carried into this you're just a dirtbag is Shiv gonna get screwed out of this CEO position? Yes. Of course. Or are they just leading us there only to have her end up being there?

No, she's not. Is Roman, or is Kendall like the saddest puppy ever? That scene at the end where they hugged and stuff, I was like, oh my God. Like, you're worse than I thought. I didn't quite understand that. What? Why do you choose that moment to break down? I don't know. that. What? Why was he so... Why did he choose that moment to, like, break down? I don't know.

He's a drug addict. Because when he was getting, like, the most respect from his father, he decides to act that way. Dude, nothing makes... His brain is scrambled, dude. Nothing makes him happy. No.

So, did they... Part coke. Was the final scene when he went out onto the... What do you even call that? A terrace? A terrace that's like worth like 10 billion dollars on its own uh did they put those up did shiv have those put up because she i kind of caught whiff that he was it felt like the anti-suicide class like yeah it was

like two hours ago he was smoking a cig out somebody worried about him enough to where they're like uh maybe we should well i think the dude killed himself at his death they were like all right we should probably we should probably put up Well, I think after the dude killed himself at his death, they were like, all right, we should probably put up these barriers so people don't jump off the top. That's definitely it. By the way, if I want to kill myself,

those aren't keeping me from doing it. You could just reach up and grab the top of that. You don't have the upper body strength. Yeah, you can get above those, though. You got to really work the lats and squeeze those shoulder blades together,

get up, and then just flip off of it. Yeah. Yeah. If you really want to die, you can still get over those barriers. Also, if

the dude killing himself at his desk, why at work? That's where you want to go out, dude? I don't know, man. Having a tough day. I was kind of wondering if they were going to go down the actual active shooter path because it is obviously very topical and i was like would that be would people say this is in bad taste if they

do you think that i thought for a second that they had faked it in order to get shiv in the pan that thought ran through my mind the other c or the other whoever it was the pierce executive and so that but then then i feel like Shiv shit the bed. False flag. Why? I didn't think she could have negotiated. I thought she was going to seal that deal. Dude, how tight was their panic room, though?

Very, very tight. Greg was not a fan of his panic room, though. His panic room sucked. His panic room had windows. Yeah. That's not really a good panic room. The security guard was like, I don't know what we want to do, dude.

I know it's shitty. That first bottle he threw was the all-time worst throws I've ever seen. Dude, why is he? Tom has the worst arm. Besides me. No, your arm's better than Tom's. It looked like an indecisive throw. You know one of those throws where you're going to throw your controller,

you're playing FIFA or something, and then you realize at the last second you shouldn't do it, so you ease up? That's what it looked like. Yeah, like you want to put out the vibe that you're pissed, but you don't actually want to break anything. You're beating Dylan on NBA Jam by like 35. Oh, it was never 35.

He throws the controller, then turns the game off in the middle of it. I never threw the controller. You did turn the game off. Yes, you did. I didn't throw the controller. It always pissed me off when you would rage quit NBA Jam

because I literally beat you every single time we played. And it made me so mad that you would turn it off because I loved looking at my stats. I loved looking at my stats. You were turning it off before. Shut up.

Am I the Tom Wamsgams of this podcast? Who is Jared's team? Because I remember there was a period of time where Jared, no one could beat him. He was pretty good.

But then I got real good. Watching Jared and Micah play was honestly the highlight of my career. Mitch Richmond is way too good in that game. He's filthy in that game. He was never that good in the NBA. He was so wet. His bounce passes were all so wet. Do you guys know that I'm a Division 1 player in FIFA now? I don't care. I've reached

the pinnacle. I don't care. I've reached the pinnacle. I don't care, man. You must have been playing quite a bit, because two weeks ago you were saying how you'd fallen off. I did, and then I started playing hard, like really hard. And I was one win away from winning the championship in Division I. I think I'm going to retire now until FIFA 20 comes out. Don't you want to win the championship?

If anyone wants to play me. Actually, no. I'm going to retire from playing online against random people. If anyone wants to play me, just add Will De I'm going to retire from playing online against random people. If anyone wants to play me, just add Will DeFreeze on PlayStation and shoot me a message. Damn. I will wreck you right now.

I'm on one. We should have a Patreon tier for that. Oh, we should. They play me and you. Not in FIFA for me. I'll play other games. There's a way to do this.

We've actually seriously talked about this. We should. I don't know how to monetize it. I would prefer to play people that listen. A league. We could make a league. Yeah.

I would prefer to play people that listen to the podcast as opposed to just random dudes. 100%. Or females. Who knows? If the ladies want to play FIFA 2, sign up. Let's run it. Slow down, guy.

If I'm Tom, Dave is clearly Roman, right? Because his mind's in the gutter. He's just like... He's a little pervert. Yeah. Why am I Roman? Because we didn't even fill you in that we were hiring Brett. That's true.

Like, yeah, you're just kind of like a figurehead. I'm fucking going to Barstool. I think they got an office manager job open right now if you want to go who's Dylan? Dylan Shiv I'll take Shiv he thinks he has all the power but we're really just going to screw him out of it

don't do that that means you and I are hooking up too it's not going to be Roman Roman's not going to he's not going to be in charge unless he really crushes it at this program but I don't think that's happening It's not going to be Roman. Roman's not going to, he's not going to be in charge, right? Unless he really crushes it at this like program, but I don't think that's happening.

I think Kendall's a candidate. You think Kendall's going to do it? He's, he's redeeming himself in the eyes of his father right now. Oh, I think he, I think Kendall's doing park Coke. He's not giving me,

he is doing park. That's on Greg though. I think that, I think Kendall's going to end up doing this i do too did you see scenes from next week we get these families together yeah that's gonna be a good episode i say that like every time because they are good i feel like i'm worried about succession being a show that people talk about so much on twitter that people like the office or something that people like flip on it like the shittos of the world like

yeah they start shitting on succession and pointing out like the flaws in it. But even so, like I'm enjoying the hell out of it from a pure entertainment standpoint. It's turning into one of my all time favorite TV shows. And I don't, it's like I, every single time I watch an episode, I can't wait for the next episode.

And I think, I think it's, it's climbing the ranks of one of my favorites of all time. Wow. Just say it. That's climbing the ranks of one of my favorites of all time wow just say it that's big yeah i can't believe that what's his face is gonna end up hooking up with jerry roman it might just be it might just be a phone crank relationship you think so it's weird it's weird giving him what he needed with Jerry, as opposed to his like hot girlfriend. I could see succession having a really graphic, like sex scene,

like overly over the top. We're just, it's gratuitous. You're like, okay. Um, could have done this a different way. And Roman and Jerry would be,

I don't want to see that sexy. She's got about 40 years on him. Oh, I don't want to see that sex scene. She's got about 40 years on him. Oh. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know what to do anymore with this show. He's like the type of dude who likes dominatrixes and shit. Can you imagine his Google history?

Speaking of cameras on his laptop, good God. Yeah, he needs like some twisted shit to get him off. Yeah. You know, it's... What, like a 65-year-old woman calling him a slime ball on the phone? A slime ball.

Exactly. She said something... I think she might have said slime ball. No, she did. Which is slime ball. She said it more than once. All right, you're really dating yourself, Jerry. Yeah.

Slime ball. What else am I? Is Jerry not married? Am I a putz too? Jerry doesn't have time for her. She's married to the game. Yeah, she is. She's all about that money, man.

I think Jerry's going to take over. What if Jerry just took over? Would that be the most mind-blowing revelation? No. What if the other company was like, we'll only sell if Jerry takes over? Jerry's just sitting there chucking a deuce like, yeah, what up?

Well, that might be coming into play because Pierce, I would think would be more likely to, obviously the money's going to be the biggest factor, right? But if they had a woman CEO. They say money talks. And not only that,

but the woman, the female CEO, Shiv, is like of their political leanings. You know, not a repugnant. What if Pierce just tries to hire Shiv? See, that would be interesting. Dude, I think I just crushed that. Pierce is going to hire Shiv to be their CEO.

What's the highest acquisition of all time? Like, do we know? Largest business acquisitions ever. I bet it involves Halliburton. You ready for this? Yeah, dog. Wow. Oh, my God.

Judging by your face, it's a big number. Yeah. Per expertmarket.com. Great. Great name. The number three of all time was Pfizer and allergen in 2015. That was 160 billion. AOL and Time Warner in 2000, 226 billion.

Holy shit. Finally. You've got mail. Oh my God. And finally, number one of all time in 1999, Vodafafone, Airtouch, PLC, and Mansman? You sound like foreign entities. I don't know what this is. $287 billion.

At what point does money just not even matter? The difference between $286 billion and $287 billion is like there's no difference. Mansplain something for me. No one has $287 billion laying around287 billion is like there's no difference. Man's playing something for me. No one has $287 billion laying around to purchase a company with. Scrooge McDuck does. He dies into it every day. Who's going to give you a loan that big

to purchase a company? I don't understand how that much money is... If you default on that loan, they can't just walk in and take $285 billion from you. You can't sell shares when you're not worth that much though i just don't know where that cash is by the way this was this was adjusted for inflation oh well that changes everything at the time it was a 202.8 billion dollars go back and find those numbers without that i'm kidding. It was 202. Damn. Okay.

Dude, I want to get acquired. I'm calling it out. I think I crushed it. Shiv is going to end up working for Pierce. She knows she's getting pushed out a little bit. But Shiv doesn't have any experience. Like, none of these little brats do. She took a DNA test, though. She's 100% that bitch

yeah she did that's right that's Lizzo yeah right yeah I'm a big Lizzo guy we all are yeah people said I talked shit

about Lizzo on a previous episode I didn't talk shit I didn't know anything about her I did my due diligence I feel like you did no I said that somebody told me that I wouldn't like Lizzo

I didn't have anything against her and I did some research on YouTube and I watched some Lizzo videos. She kind of is 100% that bitch. Okay. Oh, man. Anything else on succession? I don't think so.

Good, because I want to do something real quick right now. I want to talk about our friends over at Stance. Are these the best socks or are these the best socks? They're the best socks. I used to do something real quick right now. I want to talk about our friends over at Stance. Are these the best socks or are these the best socks? They're the best socks. I used to think I was the best sock. Not anymore. Stance. You really thought that?

These guys have been popping up everywhere lately. I mean, it's incredible. Just a few years ago, no one talked about socks. Why so much noise? That's something we never used to care about. Because one brand absolutely changed the game when it comes to socks stance creativity design quality they got it all i played golf in the some of their birdie collection socks really uh yeah i bought so like i mean i i bought some stance socks i got some uh some really heavy duty ones for when the

weather takes a turn i can't wait to wear them in like four months it's gonna be a really exciting day for me yeah it's gonna be great you're gonna have a cool two weeks to wear them yeah i got some grateful dead socks as well you never wear them i know you need to wear those i'm worried i'm scared to pull trig on them because they're so dope that if like i don't pull it off and i'm worried but the cool thing about them much like the grateful dead they have all these other collabs too pulp fiction toy story kid cud Toy Story, Kid Cudi, Dave, Star Wars, Caddyshack, Dylan,

Rihanna, Carhartt. They were sold out of the Carhartt ones. I really wanted some. Billie Eilish. You're a big Billie Eilish guy. I am, yeah. Stranger Things,

Allen Iverson, Step Brothers, Harley Davidson, all these things. They got it all. The brand not only feels good on your feet, but makes your heart feel good too. From their annual support of Socks for Heroes, which sends fresh socks to deployed military that badly need

them troops love socks they also have they've raised money for clean water initiatives in africa they helped california wildfire victims check it out they don't just if you don't want like something that's like a flashy design they have the subtle just the white oh yeah with like the nice little logo you wear on the inside white or a blue or a black or gray i like the gray i've been rocking those oh yeah well luckily for our listeners uh they can get a free pair of socks and you'll wear those you get a free pair of socks with a purchase at stance.com circling back again that's stance.com circling back because if they're stance. They're not just socks.

These socks are so tight that they gave us a few free pair of them. I used our code to get two more pair. One of them being free, of course, because of the deal they're running. How about that? That's swag. The free socks I got from them, it wasn't enough. I needed more. I mean, not to fully pull back the curtain, but I'm going to do that right now.

I purchased them full price before we got sponsored by them. Yeah. That's how big of a fail. As did I. Guys, shouts to us for working on Labor Day. That was a serious episode. Yeah. I really enjoyed that.

I think the kids are going to like the Brett bit quite a bit. You said bit too much. It's a bit? Do we not actually hire? Do we not hire him like the Brett bit quite a bit. You said bit too much. It's a bit. Do we not actually hire? Do we not hire him? We're just doing a bit? Like the bit of information is what I meant. Is Brett like working for the Chive and people just thought it was us and we accepted it?

Oh, the Chive. That's the one. Yeah. When he said he was moving to Austin, I thought people would guess Chive. No. I mean, yeah, you'd think, but no, dude. But they're like, no, it's got to be Walsh. We're the head turners now. We're the ones making moves in Austin, okay? Not the chive. No. I mean, yeah, you'd think, but no, dude. But they're like, no, it's got to be washed.

We're the head turners now. We're the ones making moves in Austin, okay? Not the chive. We're essentially pierced. Yeah. People want to taste this. They can't have it. Basically.

They're going to be really surprised when we hire SVP. Yeah. Yep. We should hire Bill Simmons just to fire him. Okay. Yeah, that's a good fantasy name

slime balls shut up Bill oh this was been fun guys are we going to get lunch should we load can you get a lunch off right now high key yeah

dude let's do it where are we going to go is it hard to say we can probably talk about that after we record all right guys we'll be hey oh major news probably should have said this in the beginning of the podcast well not only do we have long sleeve party wave shirts available there are crew neck sweatshirts

available on the site as well holy people have been wanting that shit it might be hot here but it's going to start getting a little cooler up in the northern states and those crew necks are going to come in handy the air felt different this morning i'm not saying it was cool but like it just felt crisper yeah it was definitely not it now was it was the humidity is is subsiding i was crushing the weather like all summer here doing fine with it then i went to michigan and i recalibrated came back down here now i can't i can't do it it's hot. It's too hot, man. But yeah, we got long-sleeved tees and sweatshirts. Go check it out. Go to washmedia.com slash shop.

Party on. You guys enjoy your Labor Day. Bye.