Circling Back - Country Boy Dave & Brett's Two-Year Dinner

Episode Date: September 8, 2021

A breakdown of one-year-old birthday parties, Country Boy Dave dissects a Kane Brown song, ducks can officially talk now, predictions for Brett’s two-year anniversary dinner, and This Weekend in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (15:46) One-Year Birthday Parties (26:00) Country Boy Dave — Is This Song Good? (41:14) Ducks can talk now? (48:30) Brett’s Two-Year Dinner (56:05) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors Quip: www.getquip.com/circlingback5 ($5 off a Mouthwash Starter Kit) Keeps: www.keeps.com/steam (First Month FREE) Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (STEAM for free football) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back. Circling Back Podcast presented by Vizzy Hard Seltzer, the only hard seltzer with vitamin C and superfruit acerola. My name's defreeze to my left david carter roth you know i was thinking about it earlier when we were like working on the rundown like what are we going to talk about today what segments are we going to do um but like none of that even matters because i am on my gang shit really really yeah like after watching night, it just really made me like, just come to the conclusion that I've

been on my gang shit. Just embracing the gang shit at this point. Can I admit to you something? I don't even remember Aaron saying that in Bachelor in Paradise last night. Did you take an early bird CBD? Dude, I might have taken an early bird. You don't know? Early bird gets the worm. that's a really cool

saying yo what's up what's up with uh what's up with tequila having worms in it like is that still a thing or was that just like a thing that they did in the 90s because i feel like i haven't seen a bottle with it in a long time wouldn't know makes my clothes fall off there's a uh a mess gal that i get sometimes they do the worm thing still really so people are still doing the worm yeah okay because i'm kind of into that my dad used to have my dad used to get like bottles with it i'm on my worm shit right now really you have worms did you see riley do the worm you should take some ivermectin dude yeah i might let's discuss the merits of that yeah riley's absolutely jacked yeah we know all right you guys won't stop talking about it. Hey, Odds, you'll take Invermectin.

What's that? I'm taking Ivermectin. What is it? I know people who've been prescribed it. I'm not naming names. It's no one y'all know. Maybe it is. Yeah, he used to be in the WASH Network.

Okay. It was Wes and Dil. Yeah. But I know people who have been prescribed that by a doctor. God. I assume it's a doctor. HIPAA violation shivery in the building today. How's it going?

What are you, why? F a pandemic. Just be running up these bans because it's a bandemic. You know, like money. Can I go home? Like a band? Between you two right now, I don't know what to do a band what is a grand i was trying to have a serious conversation about the merits of a potential drug and here you guys dylan's over here doing uh phenom bits you don't even know

what a band is dude is it is it 10 grand or one grand dude imagine not knowing is it it's 10 in it uh imagine having to google that because you put a band around like a stack of 100 100 bills i'm more of a racks guy that's 10 grand look it up it's a grand 20 racks a lot of money if you ain't never had it but what what did not what nominations what's the word what kind of bills are you putting in a stack? My shit's got... Or a band. My Bitcoin's wrapped in bands. Twenties?

E-bands. I don't know. What's your favorite dollar bill? Fifty. Fifty is the most gangster bill there is. It's a good one. It's a good one. It's a good one.

Do you use it for anything other than currency? No, I just use it to buy things. What are you implying? What are you implying what are you implying david i can't wait till all currency is digital me too just just so you can't have fun with your 50s or whatever it is you like but i like to walk around with bands do you even carry cash honestly well i currently have zero cash i mean i typically like to carry some around. You need it sometimes. You know, Jerry Jones, owner of what has now been the most valuable sports franchise in the world, somehow, is known to carry $2,000 in cash on him at all times. I don't believe that they're the most whatever.

They are. No, I just don't believe it. I know. I just don't believe it. I read that tweet earlier, and I just simply don't believe it. I read that tweet earlier, and I just simply don't believe it. You're mad because it's not, like, what, like Manchester, Everton, or whatever?

No, I just... I don't get how it wouldn't be... Everton? Like, Real Madrid or something. I think they're number two. It doesn't make sense to me. Number two is a soccer team. I think Jerry Jones...

I think this is fake news, and I think it all starts from the desk of Jerry Jones. I think Jerry Jones is sending out emails being like, hey, we're worth $6.9 billion. Hey, by the way. You think he's cooking the books? Yeah, I think he Googled. Like, if you looked at Jerry Jones' Google history,

it's like nearest McDonald's, and then it's like, what's the most valuable sports franchise? And then he was like, oh, we actually have a million dollars more than them. I don't think Jerry Jones gets to do his own valuations. Hey, by the way. Yeah, they probably use Ernst & Young. Hey, by the way. A neutral third party. And attached.

October 31st is officially called Battyween now, not Halloween. It's Battyween, according to our friend Cole. Okay. I did see that he was going to be chilling with his boo thang. Celebrate appropriately. His boo thang. Celebrate appropriately. His boo thang. Get your baddie and celebrate. Did you see how much the Cowboys are worth?

$6.9 billion. Nice. Nice. Damn. That's tight. Too bad they're not worth 10 times that. It's an even 69. They'd be a very successful franchise.

They still are, you know, when it comes to. What was their record last year? It wasn't good, man. They lost their quarterback. Yeah, shut up. I'm just saying. Would you shut up? Make me mad when Stafford balls out.

No, no, no. If Stafford balls out. He's going to. If Stafford balls out, I will be so happy for him. Don't even care. That's a great take. Will you give that take tonight on the Too Much Dip live stream, Will? out, I will be so happy for him. Don't even care. That's a great take. Will you give that take tonight on the Too Much Dip livestream, Will? Yes, I will.

That's why I love having Will on. He's not afraid to go there. You're wearing that button now. Yeah. Dylan, like, you get a lot from Dylan, but, like, every now and then, he just kind of loses his edge, and that's where Will comes in because, like, when you think someone's like, oh, dude, they're not going to say it, Will just says it.

Yeah. Yeah, his college football takes from last week. I can't wait. He really went out on a limb there. Dude, don't. I want to save some of this heat for the live stream. Dude, I called it, man. At some point, man.

You've got to think Bama's got a chance to go all the way. No. All the way. You're dialing it back. You said they would. He predicted Clemson in the playoffs, and they're currently 0-1. It's all right. We're on the way. You're dialing it back. You said they would. He predicted Clemson in the playoffs, and they're currently 0-1. It's all right. We're on the table.

Have you guys seen this Saban guy? He's got some coaching chops. No, I agree. He's got some chops. He's pretty solid. If I could have him coaching my team, we would win more games. Too Much Dip livestream, Washed Media YouTube, 6.30 p.m. Central Standard Time. I just wanted to say one thing before we move on to something of much more importance.

Is this gang shit related? I'm still on my gang shit. Randy came in with what is the smelliest burrito. The smelliest breakfast burrito, homemade. It destroyed the office. It was like when somebody in seventh grade dropped a stink bomb and cleared out the halls. Yeah. Just the sulfur.

Just to be crystal clear, I would have eaten the burrito. I just didn't want to smell it while he ate it. And then he decided to light a candle, which we did appreciate, but he spent 20 minutes trying to trim the wick with scissors before he actually lit the damn thing. Mad respect to my king. Which I feel like was a little unnecessary given the moment. Also, we learned that when Randy makes a breakfast burrito,

his burrito is egg and cheese. There's no second ingredient. There's no bacon. There's no sausage. There's no potato. Randy, if I buy you sausage, will you start putting sausage in your breakfast burrito?

No Randy, would you like some sausage? Randy, would you like some sausages? Freddy Got Fingered? Dude, we're the premiere Freddy Got Fingered podcast No one else is doing Freddy Got Fingered bits How do we not do Freddy Got Fingered in the stream room? Because it's a terrible movie

We're going to bring back the stream room We're doing Dirty Work starring Norm Macdonald And we're doing Freddy Got Fingered It's just going to bring back the stream room and we're doing Dirty Work starring Norm MacDonald and we're doing Freddy Got Fingered. It's just going to make me mad when somebody says something bad about Dirty Work. It's not good for my

overall well-being. The thing about Norm MacDonald is that he wants to do your Dirty Work. I told Dave that I had never seen that movie. He almost... I've never seen

so many dead hookers. He almost left the building. It's a movie that you should have seen in your younger days yeah that's what's crazy like like you should this movie is up your alley for that time period in your life like you should have been trying to get your parents to rent that for you or i guess how old were you in 98 this is before or after billy madison uh i don't know after yeah billy madison

was 95 so this is three years later. I was 15 in 1998. Yeah, dirty work. You should have been giggling to dirty work on a sectional couch in one of your rich friend's parents' houses. I didn't have rich friends. Yeah, you did. Not really. Dude, everyone had rich friends.

Dylan was the rich friend. Oh, dude. No. Yeah, I didn't have rich friends, dude. We were not rich. Let's get some programming notes out of the way. We did Worst of yesterday on Patreon, patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. We're doing it every Tuesday until spooky season.

Spooky. What's Lil Pumpkin up to? Who is Lil Pumpkin? I forget. I think you are. No, I think Dave is. Dave's Lil Pumpkin. You're Lil Muffin.

Lil Muffin Top. I didn't say that. You're a little muffin. A little muffin top. I didn't say that. Jeez. Come on, man. That would be me. I got a little muffin top going on right now. I ain't ashamed of it. You're slim thick.

Something to hold on to. Also, Friday voicemails. We're doing those tomorrow on Thursday. You can either sign up for $5 a month to get voicemails, or you can sign up for $5 a month and just get Worst Of or Spooky Season, or you can subscribe for a yearly one and month and just get Worst Of or Spooky Season. Or you can subscribe for a yearly one and get 10% off. Just do that.

Go follow Circling Back Pod and Washed Media on the Grom. Add me on the group. I went there. Also, leave a review and five-star rating. Do you guys want to hear a couple of reviews? Only if they're positive. We have one that's kind of it's kind of here the negative one we have one negative one i wouldn't say it's negative but it's a backhanded compliment

are you ready for this i live for these someone said what's dorn's deal jokes aside this podcast is excellent i started listening after a pretty tough breakup and when it was still touching bass needless to say this has brought needed levity to my life for over three years. Shouts. I love Dua Lipa. Are you a big Dua Lipa guy? We also have Stanky45. He said, I forced my Sig to listen to this pod. If you're looking for podcasts that my fiance once described as, eh, they're kind of funny sometimes.

This is the pod for you. Oh, I'm sure she's a real hoot. Yeah, she sounds really fun. Let's hear her jokes. What's she got? Have you ever done a pod? Yeah. I don't know.

Who are you making laugh over there? You ever ran a bit into the ground? Yeah. Have you? Yeah. Have you ever been three weeks late to a viral sensation? Yeah, what are you doing?

You ever talk about how hot all the Chris's are in the world? Probably not. Probably not. I think this guy should dump her. Did we figure out if Cristiano Ronaldo is a Chris? He's a Chris, technically. I think so, too.

Yeah. H. Hart said on Friday, I wish Wilmonds was real. I have always been stuck listening to this pod with my husband in the car on road trips. I've always thought the guys were kind of annoying, but here I am listening myself and laughing through the whole thing. Anyway, I love the show. Recommend. So she found us a little annoying, but now she likes us. That's fine. Shouts to H-Heart. Honestly, we

are a little annoying. All the time. Spanker96 said, Great value RBP. This show is cool and funny, but IMO. It's off-brand Ross Boland podcast. That's the one that I said was kind of backhanded. Damn. Like, what the hell, dude? I feel like we're very different than Ross Boland podcast.

I apologize to the previous one. I understand I can be a little annoying. It's just the last few years I've been on my gang shit. It's true. People forget about that. It's been tough. And then we had Micah Weiner, it says. Micah Weiner.

Mine? It says, the Donda chant of podcasts. It doesn't get much better than these guys. Where else can you find a sock, a 50-year-old, and a lawyer discussing hard-hitting, hot-button issues with today's society? This podcast is truly the epitome of excellence. That's great. I'm not 50. I'm not a sock.

Do you think you're better looking than Kenny? Because he's 40. That dude's 40? Yeah. That dude is in unbelievably good shape. He's got... His body is a thousand times better than mine. Let's get that on the table.

It's a wonderland. It's incredible. Dude, Mayer. Fuck, Mayer. Yeah, dude. Have you seen him with Dead & Co? I'm not ready to say his hot or not. Dude, do we have Dead & Co Dave in the building?

Yeah, man. I'm going to Wrigley. Can we get Jam Band Dave? I'm not ready to say his hot or than I am. Dude, do we have dad and co. Dave in the building? Yeah, I'm going to Wrigley. Can we get jam band Dave? I'm not ready to say he's hotter than I am. Definitely has a better body, though. Can we talk about Keith? He's got cool tats. Sorry.

Are they? Yeah, your tats, you keep them hidden on your butt. True. He's aggressively tatted. And his wiener's been photographed professionally. Oh, that's true. That's also true. Yeah, he probably has a better hang down.

Or does he? You could look at the photos. Just look it up right now. Look it up right now and just tell us. Hey, do a photo shoot. What's his last name? I don't know. Google Kenny Hangdown.

Hangdown. Kenny Nude. Will you replicate Kenny's nudes for charity? I'll do replicate them for charity. Don't put that on me, please. Do you hate charities? I love charities, man. What do nudes for charity? I'll do replicate them for charity. Don't put that on me, please. No, you have to. Do you hate charities? I love charities, man.

What do you have against charity? I don't see his piece in these. Oh, there's one. It is unmistakable. I might need to change my filter settings or something. I'm not seeing any piece. Oh, look at this guy over here. I'm serious.

What do you want from me? I can't see it. It's too bad. I know, man. Let's talk about keeps real quick. You guys know about this hair loss kind of stuff? I see little things, this safe search. Okay.

Turn off. You guys know about hair loss? It creeps up on a lot of people. It definitely does. Two out of three men will experience hair loss by the time they're 35. As a 34-year-old, this concerns me. How's my hair looking up top, Dave? It's good, but only because you were proactive and went after Keeps.

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If that doesn't tell you what you need to know, then I don't know what does. People have been complimenting me because I've been going hat off more on the pod when they're watching the video and they're like, dude, your hair looks great. Why? Well, the answer is keeps oh prevention is key treatment can take four to six months to see results so you can act fast i'll admit i'm about four to six months out from turning 35 i gotta keep the hair i have on top of my head and that's that's the only way to do that's with keeps well welcome to your mid-30 Wow, dude. Welcome to your mid-30s. Welcome to your mid-30s. Is 34 not your mid-30s? It is.

I feel like 34 is the first one. You're early to mid. I'd say late 30s starts at 38. So I'm still in my mid-30s for the next month and change. Very cool. When's your birthday? October 23rd, 1983. I thought it was December. Dang. Like we said,

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Dave, take it away. Sorry, I was on my gang shit. What's up? You're so annoying, dude. Whoever said that was so right about you. You are very annoying. Wow. I think it was about all of us.

Undertone, it was... It's kind of messed up to transfer that entire thing to Dave. I'm way more annoying than Dave. I could read between the lines, honestly. I think I might be the most annoying person. I can't find this guy's piece anywhere. Okay, how are you this bad at Google? Dude, my computer is just spinning right now.

I could find this piece in a matter of seconds if I needed to. I even found his last name. I looked up, I typed his last name, penis, and I still can't find it. Okay, I don't know if people are like... You just found it. I'm looking at it right now of seconds if I needed to. I even found his last name. I typed his last name, Penis, and I still can't find it. Okay, I don't know if people are like, you just found it. I'm looking at it right now. Oh, I found it. Yeah, it took me one Google search to find it, and unfortunately, I don't know if I can continue this podcast after what I just saw.

I didn't even want to see it. I just wanted to prove that I could find it, but in doing that, I've now seen it. I'm looking at it right now. Yeah? How do you stack up? I will not recreate this. You won't do this for charity? No no you won't donate all proceeds to charity only if what if only if i can pixelate what if what if the only way that you can throw out the first pitch at a trash pandas

game is if you recreate this photo shoot or i do it naked you you would you'd have to do it naked look if i could pixelate the my bits then yeah sure you've done that before and almost got kicked out of a condo. You're right about that. Yeah, that was a dark day in touching base history. I had to prove that I was actually clothed. I've got a question. I have maybe an answer. Dylan probably has more answers than me.

Yeah, that makes sense. So not that it's coming up anytime soon, but at some point our lads are going to turn one, right? Yeah. One years old, 12 months. What do you do? I don't want my kid's first birthday party to stink, but I don't know how hard you're supposed to go. What you do is just more of like get the parents over on like a Saturday afternoon, cater some food,

maybe get some Arby's or a tray full of schlossky sandwiches and i feel like the play there is just getting like 250 nugs from chick-fil-a oh a nug tray everybody loves on the grill dog i don't want to do the cook it's too much you got the kids it's just yeah but you're on your dad shit yeah i know but i'm also i, I'm like. What'd you do for Park's first birthday? Thank you for asking. Yeah, Park's first birthday was at our house at the time. Oh, I was there. He turned one.

Guess who didn't know whose birthday it was? Park's. He was clueless. That's the beauty of a first birthday. They turn one on their first birthday. Awesome. A one-year-old's birthday party, it's for the parents and for the photo ops. The kid is clueless.

What if it's on Saturday? Does that change the dynamic? You can just have only guys show up. Okay. Just dudes only. It's for the boys, obviously. But, yeah, it's just, you know, we had some adult beverages there. Dave, I got bad news.

We catered something. I don't remember what it was. The Chick-fil-A tray is officially out because your son's first birthday is on a Sunday. Sorry, dude. Do you think if I get it the day before and just keep it in the oven, it'll be fine? Probably.

I think it would take a lot for me to turn down a giant tray of Chick-fil-A nuggets at this point. If I see that at the party, I'm going in. I know I'm leaving full. Cancel my dinner reservation. Daddy's pounding. All right.

Nugs. Okay. I wish Fritz was closer to Rhodes so we could just do a joint B-Day party. Well, I mean, I think we're doing a joint B-Day party for Fritz since he was born on 420, if you know what I'm saying. Hey, man. No, I'm just kidding. Can CBS come after me for saying something like that? No, you're good, man.

Okay. I'm not doing that. We're not having a weed-smoking party for my son's first birthday. It'd be weird if CBS came after you. Dude, they can't after how much gas I've put into Love Island. Imagine how hard Fritz is going to celebrate his birthday when he's old enough to start smoking weed, man. Dude, Fritz's birthday is on 4-20.

My niece's birthday, my sister's child, is Cinco de Mayo. You've got to think they're going to be absolutely wiling in college. Damn. It's end of the year, maybe pre-finals. Actually, it might be during finals. People forget that Dilly de Mayo is right after my wedding this next year. Are we doing Dilly de Mayo? Yeah. Are you kidding? Hey, let me be the first. Congratulate you. Thank you. On Dilly De Mayo is right after my wedding this next year. Are we doing Dilly De Mayo? Yeah.

Are you kidding? Hey, let me be the first. Congratulate you. Thank you. On Dilly De Mayo? I was hoping Rhodes was going to be born on 720, so I could, like, on his first birthday, hit a 720 on the halfpipe. Turns out he was born exactly half a year away.

They were right. Yeah. The gestation period and whatnot, things of that nature. Missed by six months there. Yeah, I thought maybe there's a chance that he just doesn't want to leave. He just keeps cooking for another six months. He's just 12 pounds. May I ask a question?

I don't see why not, man. Am I an asshole because I have plans on Fritz's first birthday that night? What are the plans? I'm going to a concert. So I'm going to have to get a babysitter for my son on his birthday. Which concert? Is it the fun concert you were trying to get me to go to? Dude, stop.

That was supposed to be a fucking secret, dude. Randy is laughing because he's a fun fan. What's the concert? John Mayer. Ooh, welcome to the real world. What time is the concert? Late. Okay, that, welcome to the real world, she said to me. What time is the concert? Late. Okay, that makes it better.

Okay. He'll be in bed by the time I go to this concert. Who are you going with? My wife. Oh. Oh, you're both going? My sister-in-law. If you were going with a buddy and leaving Sal Gall at home with the little man,

then it'd be a little bit different. No, I'm going with my sister-in-law, her boyfriend, and Sal. No, you're good, dog. I just feel bad. Like, I already and it's like it's eight months away yeah i think you should feel bad stop dude like i know like no it's just different philosophies like i know i'll be home and not at a john mayer concert when roads turns one but like you know you do things different i'm not you ride your way'll ride mine. And mine just happens to be that I'll be at home with my one-year-old. Can I ask a question?

Who goes to sleep at 7 p.m.? Dude, stop painting me as a bad father. Because I'm going to a John Mayer concert. You can't bring him? Put the cute-ass headphones on him? It's true. Are you going to get high there? True.

Since it's going to be on 420? Nah. I'm not really the type to bring weed in public. That scares me. Yeah. Yeah. Fuck it. It's Austin.

Yeah, but cops having one bad day and suddenly I'm in the clink. Someone's clearly not on his gang shit. Yeah. No, for sure not. For sure not. Hey, out of all the parties that you can get invited to, what's your least favorite party that you have to go to at this stage in our lives? Probably a one-year-old birthday party.

Is a baby shower considered a party? Yeah. That's it. Have you been to a gender reveal? Dude, I never have. Yes. I've been to one. I haven't.

I've been to one, and I have to say, it was actually a fun party. A baby shower. Here's a fact about baby showers. Oh, facts machine. No one has ever actually wanted to go to a baby shower. No, never. Not one person in history has wanted to be there. No offense to my son.

I didn't want to go to that baby shower. I was like, dude, I don't want to do this, but I had to. Ours got canceled due to the ongoing global pan. Yeah. And I was like, eh. Did you do the thing where you had the dad shows up at the end to say hi? I did one of those, too. Yeah, I got a bunch of side hugs from, like, Sally's friends.

And then, like, I shook some hands of some of her mom's friends, and then I just stood there. Shaking hands, kissing babies. And then suddenly I was, like, tearing stuff down. And I was like, how did I get roped into this? Like, I'm trying to coast this two-beer buzz that I got. Is that the one you said there was, like, a bunch of beautiful babies? Dude, stop. Dude, chill. trying to coast this two beer buzz that i got is that the one you said there was like a bunch of beautiful babies dude stop dude chill he's a bunch of people buy you shit but it's just you know they're awful oh it's a onesie my gosh it here comes the part of the party where you

watch me open gifts for an hour this will be awesome for everyone here we specifically requested not to do that yeah it's a baby a baby wipe warmer. It will inevitably break. Do they have that? Baby wipe warmer? Is that a thing? Yes. Are you kidding me? What?

That's so stupid. They're going to be fine. I know Fritz takes a steam shower every night, but I'm not warming up baby wipes for that little guy. I just can't be doing that. Yeah, that's crazy. Are you inviting us to your one-year-old birthday party? Is this the official invite?

Yeah, we're going to have Randy there, too. Oh, man, I'll be busy. Randy could be a good-ass clown if you needed one. That's what I'm saying. I could see him getting really into it and having some very good bits. Randy's going to be doing some blues clues or whatever it is. What is it? Rhodes's first birthday Will be on my

One year anniversary with Bae Oh man Exactly as old as Rhodes You cucked him You aren't gonna be able to make it Why would you cuck your son? What are you talking about? Like you can't just celebrate

Like an anniversary My son? Yeah What are you talking about? Oh hold on Which son? Rhodes Oh

Sorry Yeah I didn't go on a date On my son's birthday We'll see who gets The more fire grandma Are Yeah, I didn't go on a date on my son's birthday. We'll see who gets the more fire grandma. Are you shaming me for going on a date on my son's birthday? No, dude, for sure not. Damn it.

If anyone needs a John Mayer ticket, hit me up. It's $7,000. We're probably going to have a big party that day, January 30th. Ah, dude, that sucks. I'm not going to be able to make it. I know, because you'll be at your Yeah. Which party am I going to?

Which one sounds more fun? I don't know. Are you smoking fajitas or what? We're going to have Dylan's new friends will be there. No, you're not, because it's on a fucking Sunday. I've already gone through this. No one has an anniversary party from when they started dating. Yeah, that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard.

Not in high school, dude. If you do that, you stink. If you've ever even thought about doing that. We'll go on a date. It'll be fine. Wow, babe. One year. Went by so fast.

That's just you talking to her. That's exactly what I would say. Why is he talking like an old intern of ours? Wow. Wow. Hey, hey guys. Great year. Who? Steve. Wow. Hey, guys. Great year. Who?

Steve Holt. Oh, yeah. He does. I just disrespect him. Dave, we have another segment from you. Hey, man. It's the Dave Show. This is a segment that we've never done before.

Well, thanks to noted listener Omar for talking about what I'm about to reference. Omar. I want to say it like Nomar, like with a Boston accent, but it doesn't make any sense. Omar. Do you know why Nomar's name is that? It's Ramon or what is it, Raymond? Ramon. Ramon, backwards?

Yeah. Yeah. Omar. Rest in peace, Michael K.iams right omar yeah better roll omar yes or uh chalky omar did you ever watch boardwalk yes okay i think you're right but i'm just saying if you wanted to make an argument for Chalky, I would be. Big up to the Chalkman, though. Sure. I didn't see either. Which one should I do?

What do you do? How did you miss Prestige TV, period? Didn't you not see Sopranos either, or you did? No, I definitely watched Sopranos. And I'm not lying about that. I have lied about watching The Wire in the past on the podcast that I didn't get made fun of for not watching it. I cut episodes of The Sopranos here and there. It doesn't.

Don't. It makes it worse than I've never seen it. Before streaming, I'll be flipping like, oh, Sopranos is on. for not watching it. I cut episodes of The Sopranos here and there. It doesn't. Don't. It makes it worse than I've never seen. Before streaming, I'll be flipping like, oh, The Sopranos is on. I'll catch it. Oh, okay. Don't really know what's going on, but it's entertaining. This dude just picks up books and reads random chapters and just says he read the book. Oh, yeah.

That was really good. I just want to hum this whistle tip, Bird Dogs Football, right at your stupid face right now. I'll catch it and just throw it right up your dumb ass. You gonna throw it up my ass yeah how are you gonna do that knock that tattoo off your ass i'm gonna throw it so hard it's permanently attached you can't do that can i do my second segment of the day the fuck's your problem your second segment of the day i want to know what this is all about i don't like his attitude he knows i'm on my gang shit over here true true unbelievable yeah so shout out to omar for for bringing uh this song that i'm about to reference and read to my attention um this new segment is called is this song good i'm gonna read the song

this is by kane brown hold on hold on let me read the song who is can we i don't know who kane brown is he's the undertaker's brother he's a pop country musician he's got he's got some i'll give i'll give this to him he's got some catchy sounding songs on the radio he also looks like he's not really much of a country guy. He's got the lines in his hair. He's got the Post Malone face hats. Yeah, this guy is not your... He's not your grandma's country star.

His voice does not match what it looks like. Let me read the song. Can I read the lyrics? What's the name of the song? Worship You. Okay. Your kisses have a higher power. Your baby it's divine every time i see you smile it's like i've seen the light wow that's deep sleeping next to you is heaven but you already

know about that want to glorify every part of you so bad. Have you ever glorified a part of someone? This is reading like he wrote it in two minutes on a napkin. No, hang on. He was mad horny when he wrote this. You got to come up with something quick. Let's see if it gets horny. Don't get me wrong. I'm a God-fearing Christian man.

Okay. Respect. But if you were a religion, then damn. I don't get it. Then damn. I don't get it. Then damn. I don't know what I'd do. Yeah, I might have to worship you. Is he saying he would turn his back on God?

Hold on, I'll let him finish. In favor of this baddie. I might have to sing your praise. I might have to go to church, yeah. Every single night and day. Wait, why? He's just going to straight up live in that wait why is he gonna oh because if she was the church yeah something like that okay he's gonna he's

gonna get up in there twice a day every day yeah i might have oh yeah i might have to hit my knees oh my god because presumably to pray but we'll see where this because you lay it on me like the truth shout out to a recent hall of Fame inductee, Paul Pierce. That's not part of the song. That's just to add to it. Former ESPN employee as well. What does getting on his knees have to do with her laying the truth on him? Yeah, what's he doing on his knees?

Is he praying on his knees? Presumably. And you love me like hallelujah, I might have to worship you. Yeah, I might have to worship you. I might have to worship you. Parentheses, I might have to worship you. Okay, thank you for saying that.

All right, all right, now hold on. You're going to worship her. Now, I ain't saying you can walk on water. That's where I draw the line. That's an ad lib. Or that you can turn it into wine but baby when I see your face all I can think about is 69 shut up I made that part up okay okay I was like okay you can't just turn your back on God and then

69 in the same soul but girl it feels like a miracle that you're doing okay that's fine that's nice so don't get me wrong I'm a God-fearing Christian man miracle that you're mine. Okay, that's fine. That's nice. So don't get me wrong. I'm a God-fearing Christian man. But if you're a religion, then damn. This is just the chorus. Let's, let's. Oh, he just repeats it. And that's the song.

So I ask you again. He's a lyrical genius. I ask you again. This songwriter is Matt McGinn, Kane Brown, Charlie Handsome, and Explicit. Those are the songwriters. Charlie Handsome? That's the guy's name. He probably is a millionaire many times over. Nashville royalty. He gets a private room at Kid Rock's Steakhouse every Friday night. Is this song good? You know, without hearing it, just hearing you sing it, I would say, yeah.

If I can get spoken word from Dave, it's an objectively good song. Yes, I'm going to say that is a good song. I'm into it. I'll be honest with Chase Rice's drinking beer, talking God. Amen. Who is he linked with? I don't want to talk about it. What's the gossip?

Hey, what's the tea? Spill it. From what I've heard, he's been knocking boots with k-calf kristin cavallari straight up fucking i i just at this point i think we all need to question k-calf's taste yeah i mean steven at this point is probably the best guy that she's dated clearly like. Like, Steven, Steven, he's perfect. What is she doing? Jay Cutler is like just doing everything he could possibly do

to tank his own stock. And then we have, yeah, Chase Rice. What's he doing? He's got a pod now. Have you listened to it? No. Yeah.

We should get him in the network. Does he have some takes? I don't know. What I like about Jay is that he's not afraid to go there. I may not agree with him, but, like, hey, man.

He'll go there. It bums me out that I never got to actually enjoy, like, the meme that was him because I just hated him. Like, I mean, as a Lions fan, you just don't like Bears quarterbacks. It's not what we do. He got too much love from, like, the bro-y corner of the internet that it kind of ruined it for me. They were just obsessed with him.

I feel like you're somewhat to blame for this. Someone photoshopped him smoking a cigarette on the site like, oh my god, this is the funniest thing I've ever seen. Oh, that was a long time ago. Yeah, but people ran with that so hard. We had a framed photo of that in the content office. I know. At Grand X. Guys, do you want to know a little something about that in the content office. I know. At Grand X. Guys, do you want to know a little something about Charlie Handsome?

Yes. He is a producer-songwriter. He has written and produced for the likes of Post Malone, Drake, Weeknd, Kanye, Juice World, Young Thug, Travis Scott, Sam Hunt, Kodak Black, and one Kane Brown. That's quite the resume, honestly. Minus Sam Hunt, of course. I'm going to say this guy, his celebrity net worth is six figures and above. He's doing okay.

He's doing fine. He's handsome and he's wealthy. A real double threat. I'm still trying to figure out what Kane's doing on his knees. Is he praying or is he doing something else? Did he drop something under the bed? And got stuck? Like, does he have a dog and the dog dropped the ball under the bed?

I don't think that's what he's going for there. He probably would have said, he probably mentioned the dog at some point. I don't let Rosie have balls in the house anymore. Why? Because she drops them under things and then I have to go get them. It's really annoying. We bought a couch that doesn't have legs

solely because I was tired of going under our couch to go get the stuff that she drops underneath there. That's why? Yeah. 100%. 100%. I got so sick of it. It was non-stop. That's kind of funny. It was even a bone. She would just put a bone down, knock it under there, and I was like, what am I doing? Oh yeah. Oh yeah, J-Bone. J-Bone!

Do you think J-B bone used bone broth in his ramen i had dinner with jay bone the other night i forgot to say that in my uh recapping this weekend of fun are you aware of this i thought he was ghosting y'all why are you what never mind man i had dinner with jay bone and fly fishing charlie and their wonderful, significant others. Sound like a good time, man. It's too bad. I even texted you about it. I asked what you got from Taco Flats, dog. Where was I?

You were, wow. You went to Taco Flats literally the night before. You weren't going to go back. Bullshit. For Charlie and J-Bone's company? Please. I'll go to the ends of the earth. Child, please.

All this dog talk. I'm looking at randy's daycare's facebook page seeing if they posted any pics mega cute scene so i signed up for uh i signed up for a service so i could get um maybe some new music for the sunday scary's podcast which you can find on any podcast platform don't mess with that music it's already goaded well i just i wanted to get a couple mix-in songs and i signed up for this website that was regarded as one of the best royalty-free websites for this, and it's called premiumbeat.com. And so whenever I get an email from premiumbeat.com,

I think I'm getting spammed with some kind of porn site or something. When's the last time you had a premium beat? Dude. I'm going to plead the fifth. Like afterward, you're like, God, that was premium. Dude, that was premium. Dude, that was premium. Emphasis on pre. It throws me off every single time.

Like, what am I doing? Premiumbeat.com? It's like the backers who signed me up for Scientology emails. Did you see the guy who, this has nothing to do with anything, but did you see the guy who found the clip of us throwing the vortex? I retweeted it from Circling Back on Sunday night. It's a really funny video. Micah and Jared.

Micah is just foul in it. He seriously is. I don't know. We can't really talk. He throws it, turns around to the camera, gestures like this. Like he's unrolling a fruit roll-up. Then he says, huge dick. No, cock.

Cock. He said huge cock. Chill out. What are you doing, Micah? I want to redo this video. Not because I had a terrible performance, but just because I want to see if I'm more impressive now. I think my arm still hurts from that day.

Yeah. Mine still hurts from that premium beat. I did enjoy that my second throw didn't even get sniffed. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. Yeah, my second throw didn't even get put in the video. Can you do your best impression of what the Vortex whistle sounded like? For mine?

Yeah. Stop. Fuck you guys. I will say, I don't think T-Man threw it as far as Dylan, but T-Man has the most swag when he throws. He had some whip. Not even close. He had some whip.

He has way more lag than me. I got him by 40 yards. But I'm just saying he looks better throwing it. Bullshit. He's the T-Man. He is the T-Man. He is the T-Man. He is the T-Man.

He's got swag. Can we talk about our friends over at Quip real quick? Queer. We all love that clean minty fresh feeling you get from mouthwash but those plastic mouthwash bottles uh get out of here oh buddy trying to save the environment playboy oh buddy they're big they're bulky and they're not so nice to look at no you got to hide them under the sink like trash and they're so big like i don't even have room for it under my sink right now oh it's a problem yeah i've seen that

you've got a lot of stuff under your sink. I have no, I actually don't. Oh, yeah. I have a big mechanism that fuels the steam shower. It's terrible. I have no under sink storage. I need something that I can put on my counter that looks good. We get it.

You have a steam shower. Steaming. I'm worried about that thing. It sounds like a fire hazard. It is, for sure. That's why a lot of us end up stashing them under the sink. Like, I mean, I wish I could. I can't.

It's pretty hard to kill germs and prevent cavities from down there luckily the oral care experts at quip create an alcohol-free mouthwash that keeps your mouth healthy without the burn baby and thanks to a sleek refillable dispenser it's an easy on the eyes as well it is aesthetically pleasing it's sexy it's kind of like futuristic looking can you explain how it works pleasing yeah sure you do a really good job of explaining this. So it sits there in your countertop. And when you're ready to hit your mouth, a little mouthwash. There's a pump on top.

You pump it. I give it two pumps. And it fills a reservoir with this concentrated mouthwash. But you're a double pump boy. You don't have to double pump. I do two pumps. I like to really hit it. There's a cap you take off on top, right?

So once you fill the reservoir, you tip it and you fill the cap up. And then there's a little line that designates where you fill the water up to. It's a little mixture, right? You mix the water with the concentrate. Then, boom, you hit it. Boom. Tilt it back. Swish, swish, swash. Lean back and into the swish away and then swish swash he says

yeah everyone everyone knows that quip mouthwash kills bad or kills bad breath germs help present helps prevent cavities and leaves you feeling fresh thanks to a formula that gives your mouth everything it needs and nothing it doesn't it's a four times concentrate it's got fluoride xylitol and cp, but they left out the artificial colors and the stinging alcohol that you find in the other rinses. It's got a compact footprint that will fit in any bathroom, big or small,

and with five colors, two high-end finishes. Mine's got a real nice sheen on it. It's almost like they knew what my bathroom looked like when they sent me mine, because it looks like it's meant to be there. I call mine Charlie. Really? It's almost like they knew what my bathroom looked like when they sent me mine because it looks like it's meant to be there. I call mine Charlie. Really?

It's got such a good sheen. Winning. You're just winning every time you do your mouthwash. I don't know, guys. You can even do a mouthwash refill plan to make sure your rinse never runs out. With a customizable subscription, you can get refills automatically delivered straight to your door every three months. And you can stay on top of your swish without lugging any bottles home from the store. How refreshing is that?

Super. Quite. It's the perfect finishing touch to complete your oral care routine. Pair it with a Quip electric toothbrush for adults and kids. And one of their refillable flossers. And you'll be surprised at how easy and fun it can all be. With affordable refills plus free shipping, it's so easy to keep your whole mouth healthy. Join the over 5 million mouths already using Quip and start swishing today. And if you go to getquip.com slash circlingback5, right now you can get $5 off a mouthwash starter kit.

That's $5 off a mouthwash starter kit, which includes a refillable dispenser, a 90-dose supply of Quip's 4x concentrated formula at getquip.com slash circlingback5. Spelled G-E-T-q-u-i-p.com circling back five quip the good habits company um major announcement it's national potato month shit so if anybody needed like an excuse to get back in on baked potatoes maybe now's the time dude potatoes are the perfect food yeah Yeah. You aware of that? Stop. What?

How so? If you could only have one food for the rest of your life, you can make a very good case that potatoes are that food. You can boil them, mash them, stick them in a stew. Randy thinks that's funny. Dude, you could easily make a case. Think of all the different ways you can make them. You can mash them. You can mash them. You can fry them.

I said it's a fair point. You could pan fry them. Make little skillet cakes. Skillet cakes. I don't know if I'm going potatoes. I hate to say that. You could go potato, though. You definitely could.

You could technically do whatever you wanted. But I just wanted to give a shout out to all the potato lovers out there. That was my third segment of the day. Thanks. Shots all the potatoes. I'll be, I'll be resigning from the rest of the show. Should we talk about something that pairs really well with potatoes?

Duck. You guys hear about this Australian duck? Yeah. I have not actually, should we go down under right now down under australian for beer he ran a falsters he ran out of uh breath very hard to play the instrument. The instrument. What is it? The didgeridoo? The brain's on Dave, man. I think I had a hundred people message me.

Like, hey, dummy. But you got there. And that's all that matters. So an Australian talking duck proves that birds can now imitate speech. The first documented instance of ducks being able to mimic sounds has researchers reviewing the evolution of vocal language learning in birds. Do you guys want to hear this thing talk? To be fair, we already knew birds could imitate speech.

Ever heard of a parrot? Yeah. You ever been to the headless parrot? Ducks? Paulie, want to crack her anybody? Is this a brand activation? An Aflac brand activation? I'm skeptical.

Aflac. Want to hear it? The Affleck brand activation? I'm skeptical. Affleck. You want to hear it? The sound clip doesn't sound anything like a duck. He says that's because he's imitating humans, dude. He's that good. The fact that the thing that this duck is saying is you bloody fool is perfect. All right, let me hear it. Is that what he's saying?

Yeah, because he's pulling a fast one on us and calling us all fools. Are you ready? I don't know. That's a disrespectful little duck. Here we go. What is this? us and calling us all fools are you ready i don't that's a disrespectful little duck here we go what is the you bloody food that sounds like like Something from that ghost show Yeah You know Yes it does

Yeah Ghost hunters or whatever it's called Zach Bagans You bloody fool You bloody fool Was this a duck Attempting to communicate Or something far more demonic

That's so stupid Ghost hunter Dave Do you know what this duck's name was? I don't know R Ripper, dude. Okay. Dude, shouts to Ripper. Ripper, the Ripper. Dude, a male musk duck. Yeah, man. We're going to Portugal.

We're going to go surf Nefare. Did they just put this duck in a cage and just have someone saying you bloody fool next to him for like a year so that he would start saying it? Can we hear it again? You bloody fool. What if he was just watching Peaky Blinders?

The beauty is the third one. This is the first. That's creepy. This one's the creepy one. Dude, what's his problem? It sounds so ghosty, man. Spooky season can't come soon enough. What if I get Zach Bagans for spooky season?

Is that Bilbo's brother? That's disrespectful, dude. He does a lot of great work in the paranormal community. What's his name? He boils them, mashes them, and sticks them in his stew. Dude, we're doing so much Lord of the Rings content right now. It's crazy.

Some people are saying it's brazy. It's not brazy. You bloody fool. You bloody fool. If your dog, if you found out that your dog picked up on things that you said around the house

and started mimicking you, what would your dog be saying? I'm on that gang shit. I'm on that gang shit. Imagine Randy saying that. I mean, it would be perfect. Yeah. I mean, I think Rosie would definitely hear a swear word or be saying swear words, unfortunately.

You got to clean up in front of the little man. Dude, he's four months old. I feel like, yeah, I feel like they're not going to start retaining that until like seven or eight. unfortunately you gotta clean up in front of the little man dude he's he's four months old i feel like yeah i feel like they're not gonna start retaining that until like seven or eight i could say whatever i want i'm gonna be cussing my little dick off at his one-year-old birthday party i feel like we shouldn't yeah why like can't kids just start swearing what if we just normalize swearing with kids agree dude i've always thought that like what like what's the problem here like what right why don't we stop being wimps about swearing that big a deal if your son says shit as a four-year-old yeah like just don't make it weird

like it's all those old people making it weird being like no you can't say there are parents who feel that way and like don't live their lives like others free what is it the free room roaming parents or whatever where they let their kids just kind of Free, what is it? The free roaming parents or whatever, where they let their kids just kind of go do what they want. There's a thing. I botched it, but that is a thing. Yeah, you crushed that, man. Okay.

Clones. Nice. Your kid cusses? Yeah. Like Bill Parcells on the sidelines. Nice. Dude, can we have Jim Rome be the guest picker tonight on Too Much Dip live stream? Yeah.

How many subscribers? I don't think so. Yeah. Peanuts. Do you know how much I make in a year? What's his net worth? Jim Rome? A few hundred million.

No. Dude, he did. You think? Does he have his own net worth? No. I'm going to say. Dude, his net worth is the network i'm gonna say 45 million on my drake 45 million i'm gonna say 215 nope you guys dave is closer dylan you vastly overestimated 75 million for our roam dog over there you were close though good job yeah dude you almost got there nice doesn't he make like 20 mil a year

something yeah but like after taxes and a lot of his fluids, it's like. Yeah, but then endorsements and shit. You would think that, you know, I don't know, whatever. Whatevs. Nice. You're walking down a little path in Central Park. You're enjoying yourself. You're having a nice latte to go.

Maybe you got it at Starbucks. Yeah, you're looking at my Fritz bracelet? Yeah, it's cute. My niece made this for me. You're just walking around, and suddenly a duck walks up to you. You bloody fool. You bloody fool. Do you just end it right there?

It's like, fuck, I just got undressed by a duck. Like end your own life. No, you can't kill the duck, dude. The duck didn't do anything. I don't know. He just insulted you. He insulted me. I didn't do anything. What did I do to this duck? You bloody fool. Like, what's his problem? You know ducks can speak now, Brett? A riveting. You bloody fool.

Welcome to Brett. You bloody fool. Welcome to Brett. Thank you, I think. It's a good thing. We have Brett's two-year anniversary. It was, what day was it? September 1st? C. Somebody call 911.

Do you remember? Okay. The first day. I think Brett does. I think I moved here the 21st of September. Right. I was in the process of moving, driving my Honda Accord. Your start date officially was the first.

Yeah. I was remote before process of moving. Driving my Honda Accord. Your start date officially was the first. Yeah. I was remote before it was cool. We did your two-year dinner last year at Bob's Steakhouse in Austin, Texas. Downtown location, not to brag too much. But yeah, that downtown location, you know what it is. That's where we discovered T-Bone. T-Bone? Yeah.

We still didn't really know Randy that well because we'd been spending so much time outside of the studio at that point. And then we really got to see what Randy was all about. He was the perfect amount of weird. Turns out he was about T-bones and napkin origami that night. Was that origami night? Yeah. Swag.

Man, you really let it rip. This year, we're going to... Actually, I'm going to let Brett explain what we're doing. Brett, what did you choose for your dinner that is Thursday night, tomorrow night? You may know it as Carve. Carve. Randy chooses Chili's and Brett chooses high-end steakhouses. I don't think Carve is like the

highest-end steakhouse. I don't know, dude. More so than Chili's. From Bob's to Carve. I can make this guaranteed. The bartender at Carve is made of martini. Yeah, that's fair. It's not the highest end in town, but it's... I mean, they have a $59 steak on the menu. That's a good steak. It's a steakhouse.

Hey, hey, you better turn that off. I don't want you getting that. I don't get any ideas. Will hates it when I touch him. I don't hate it when you touch me. I don't hate it when you touch me. All right. Dave, how do you feel about the wedge wheel?

It's a cross-cut iceberg wheel. Bacon, blue cheese, cherry tomatoes, and buttermilk vinaigrette. All I have to say about that is rock me, mama, like a wedge wheel. Okay. That's fun. I think we're going to – I might run back to live tweeting. Yeah, do we have any predictions for this two-year anniversary dinner? Yeah, given that – I'm not going to name names,

but someone scheduled a happy hour immediately preceding hell yeah uh happy hour to rescheduled happy hour that's fair and to be and to be more fair i i agreed to this i didn't but dude this is this is very on brand for brett doing some biz dev right before your celebratory dinner it's kind of beautiful yeah that's kind of the plan. Nothing gets Brett fucking fired up like a little biz dev. I'm going to go rogue here. I'm going to just say this.

If you, at this happy hour, if we're able to close a deal with the said company, the company is going to pick up dinner. Really? Wow. I think we should play credit card roulette and make Randy put in three cards. I would love that.

That doesn't seem fair. No. Do you have three credit cards, Randy? What are the numbers of them? The Kohl's card doesn't count. Could we put a steak dinner on Randy's Kohl's card? We could try. Aud, you'll try to pay with the Kohl's card.

Dude, imagine how many, what are they called? Kohl's bucks? Imagine how much Kohl's cash you'd have. What if the waiter's like, oh, actually? Kohl's bucks? Imagine how much Kohl's cash you'd have. What if the waiter's like, oh, actually, Kohl's is a preferred partner. So, yes. Of Carve. Brad, do you know what you're ordering already?

I'm between a couple things. Okay. You've menu baited, clearly. Yeah, I've menu baited. Well, I've also been there a lot and will be. My new apartment is like literally 25 feet from Carve. You're in trouble, buddy. Is it that close? I could walk there.

Yeah. Is it across the road? Yeah. Your dynamic is about to change for the better. Yeah, it's concerning because it's not like, it's a place you can go pull up for happy hour and pop open the laptop. It's not cheap for drinks. I was just highlighting shit on the menu and showing

it to me uh so i think in between the filet okay you can wrap filet cherry smoked bacon or the uh the little redfish oh okay look at the redfish guy the duality of man i didn't know what redfish even was until i moved to austin it turns out it's fish that's red turns out it's really good yeah it's actually very white color it's really good. Yeah. It's actually a very white color. It's not like salmon. Kind of unexpected. So, yeah, I think that's... We'll probably use some wine,

I would imagine. Maybe. Some red wine. Hard to say. I'm going to get a martini. And then Randy will get like a Manhattan again. I'm going to teeny up for sure.

Randy got like six different cocktails at the last anniversary dinner. He really did. Yeah. He was just working through it, just testing everything out there. It's like dealer's choice with this guy. I respected it.

Did you feel worse the next day because of that? He says yes. Randy was doing the PFT signature drink bit before PFT, and he wasn't doing a bit. He was just ordering signature drinks. Got it. I thought you were doing a Mad Dog thing. Does he do Mad Dog, too?

He's a Mad Dog 2020 guy. Do they have Mad Dog here? I'm getting the Prime Rib. We're not getting Mad Dog. I'm getting the prime rib. Did you just cut Will's order? Well, dude, it's prime rib Thursday. If that's what you want to call it.

It's prime rib Thursday. Does anybody want to go in on the carved board for four? You get a 12-ounce carved smoked sliced New York strip, a 16-ounce sliced caramelized prime rib, 12-ounce sliced Chateaubriand, half hog heaven, four shrimp bruschette, and four lobster corn balls. What's so funny? You need a little gesture toward me. While that does sound amazing, I want all prime rib to myself.

So for that reason, I'm getting the prime rib. That's why I refuse to split entrees with Sally because I don't want to compromise. I totally agree. Like, don't try to split an entree with me and then have me, like, be jealous that I'm not eating what I want the most. The prime rib is served with a half-baked potato. Dave? I would simply bake it fully. It is potato month.

I said half. I meant twice. Okay. I was going to say. I would simply bake it half. Why'd you say? Yeah. Because I can't read.

Yeah, I was wondering. I feel like an idiot. I was like, that's a thing I don't know about. It's twice baked. I'm the potato guy. Yeah, you are the baked potato guy. What are you guys getting? Besides Dylan's getting the prime rib.

I'm going prime rib. Wow. If it's prime rib Thursday, I'm going to respect that, and I'm going to get the prime rib. I'm going to wear my prime rib t-shirt. Really? Odds you wear your Arby's shirt. I'm not wearing that. No, that goes.

Yeah, that's fair. I'm not wearing it to carve. I did hear Will, when I was in the Alpha Brain biz dev suite over here. New sponsor alert. Will mentioned a chicken pot pie. If you order that, I'll be so mad. We'll get dessert. Chicken pot pie for dessert.

It's Cornish game hen, dog. Are you fucking kidding? I knew it was game hen. I didn't know it was Cornish, though. Damn, I'm on my game shit. Damn. Mad corny right now. We'll see.

I'm excited, though. You want to go in on some lobster fritters? Yes. Ripper. Dylan got the cupcakes last time. No one's doing Wagyu cupcakes. Well, they were very good. I will not be ordering them again.

Where did we go after that? We went to a hotel bar downtown, and then we got denied going up to Zanzibar. Zanzibar. The hottest new bar in Austin, Texas. Well, the three of us did Carve. We went somewhere immediately after. We went to Woodrow's for a fight, didn't we? Connor.

Yeah. Poirier, too. Yes. Mike was there. And J-Bone. No Will, though. Place was a scene that night. I was on my way back from northern Michigan.

You had an excuse. Yeah. I'm sorry. Hey, is it time? You had an excuse. Yeah. I'm sorry. Hey, is it time?

Yes. This Week in the Fun, presented by Bird Dogs. I love these bird dogs. Do you? Sounds more like a wolf. I stay in the dog house, baby. I recently did a segment on the Sunday Scaries podcast, which you can find anywhere podcasts are found. And someone asked me about my airport fits.

What do I like to wear in the airport? Did you say bird dogs? When I'm going somewhere, I wear my bird dog pants. They're so comfortable. And the reason I wear them is because they're versatile. They are clean looking. They're very, very good looking pants. And I can roll into any situation wearing them and feel comfortable with that. I can be comfortable on the plane because they're comfortable pants. I can roll into a dinner right off the

flight and not have to worry about changing into something nicer because they look amazing. The problem I have with some linered pants and shorts is that they're too constricting, they're too tight, and thus very uncomfortable. These are the exact opposite of uncomfortable. They are perfect. That's because bird dogs are the best and most comfortable pair of shorts and pants that have ever existed. They have super soft built-in underwear. They're perfect for doing literally anything.

Beach, golf, brunch, pool. They are the shorts of the summer. You know, Dylan plays a lot of beach golf because he's always in the sand. It's this guy's problem. Can't stay out of the bunker, this fucking guy. I'm trying to get a tan. Bird Dogs stole Lululemon's designer. They put him in the back of a car and they were like,

you're coming with us now. Dylan did that to me too. I know. Yeah, he did do that to you. He made you help him move. Sorry. You know they're back with one of their famous giveaways? Remember the nunchucks? Well, now you can go to birddogs.com and enter promo code STEAM, and they'll throw in a free Bird Dogs whistle tip football.

Remember those Nerf Vortex Howler footballs that whistle when you throw them? They're the must-have beach toy. That's birddogs.com, promo code STEAM, and boom, a free Bird Dogs whistle tip football with your pair of Bird Dogs. You will not take these things off, I promise you. Take them off at some point because you've got to wash them. I have to wear them for a few days. But don't you dare put another thing on.

But then put them back on. Yeah. Dylan, what are you doing this weekend? Wow, thank you for asking. Friday, I will have parks. Actually, I have them Friday and Saturday For the boys It's a Friday

For the boys Parks has a soccer game Saturday What time? That might work into my schedule You want to stop by? Maybe I might get a little heated and start yelling at the pitch.

I'll bring the Sunny D. Okay. Orange slices? Orange slices. Whatever you want. Yeah, so Parks has a soccer game on Saturday. Why are you going to bring Fritz? Get it?

Sunny D. Sun. DeFreeze. Get it? Okay. It's a stretch. Wow, I mean, we've done a lot this episode. That is the biggest reach.

I'll bring Vizzy. Sunny D? That's got more vitamin C than orange slices. Okay, kind of good. That's true. Bring Vizzy to my six-year-old son's soccer game. That'd be sick. Dude, I'm going to be the dad on the sideline with a Yeti, and it's just got like a stiff drink in it.

I'm not going to tell anybody. You might have a problem. Yeah, I do. Let's talk. There's the wedding shower this weekend, right? Oh, forgot about the wedding shower this weekend. I kind of have a conflict. I don't know if I'm going to make it. I'm going to do my best. Wow. Okay. My best. Wow. You're not going to go to Pierce's. I'm going to try. I'm going to do my best. I'm not going to lie.

If you don't go, I'm going to drag you in front of Pierce. Okay. I'm not going to drag you in front of other people, but if Pierce is like, hey, where's Dylan? I'm going to be like, dude. Please don't, man. I can't have Pierce thinking badly of me. No, Pierce is going to think badly of you, especially if you don't show up. That's all I really have on the books, man.

Where are you going to be instead? Well, I have my son. Does he not like Micah? He hates Mike. No, I don't know. He's too young to be around those guys. Not only do I have my son, but Bay has little Bay. Oh, okay.

And it's a couple's thing. And so it's a lot of moving parts here that I got to figure out. I don't think you have to be in a couple to go to the shower. Yeah, it's Saturday. Yeah. You can't have a shower on Saturday if you're expecting people to bring their significant other. Oh, yeah, I'm going solo. You riding solo? No, I'm going to. I'm going solo. You're riding solo?

No, I'm going to be on that gang shit. You and Alyssa? Yeah. Driving your Jeep. I think we have a sitter. Watching football, man. Oh, damn, dude. Is football season here?

Oh, man. Dude, I'm going to be binging those games. You're going to binge the football games. One after the other, man. Just flipping over. I'm like, oh, this one's good. No, this one's better. I'm going to have five TVs stacked on each other and shit.

What's up with YouTube TV not having a back button? There's a lot of issues with YouTube TV. What's up with that? I generally like it, but I do have some issues. Yeah. What are you doing this weekend, Davey? We're going to go to dinner with Brett Thursday. And I guess Randy's going too.

Friday, I don't know. Probably come up here and do coffee Friday. Swag. Saturday, I'm going to Micah's thing because I support my friends. Looking at you, Dylan. I'm going to try to go. We're going to guilt you into going. I'll just get some Iron Bits here.

Dude, I can't imagine doing this to Pierce. Pierce doesn't give a shit if I'm there. No, he was texting us earlier. You don't want to watch Pierce drink like 48 seltzers? It's going to be sick. I mean, I'm on my same grind. I'm going out to dinner with Brett. Friday. Randy's

going to be there too. Friday, probably taking it easy. Your boy might be watching Ted Lasso the night it drops. I'm just going to be straight chilling like a villain on penicillin. What night does Ted Lasso drop? Friday. That's interesting. I have like an infection

in my nose. And then Saturday I'm like an infection in my nose and then Saturday I'm going to go support my friend and his wife or his future wife and I'm going to go to their shower at Pierce's house

hey I watched the Christmas episode of Ted Lasso last night you cried three times like I did it's incredible three times it's incredible

it's good it's really good I'm going to watch it every Christmas I think forever then yeah Sunday Sunday is just all about me

me and Fritz are just going to be chilling out. We might go take a little pool sesh, get a little swim in. Where's Sal go? I don't know. Oh. She's just going to leave Sunday? Yeah, I don't know. Probably just like.

Did you watch Hard Knocks last night, Dave? Yeah. Did you almost get a little emosh when Azir Kamara made the 53 man? There was like three times when I got emosh. Well, he didn't get as emotional as I thought he was going to get. Right, me too. And I was like ready. I was so freaking happy for him.

And then I was like, okay, we're not crying. Thank you, Azur. Anyway, sorry, Will. He made the 53. I don't care. Brett, what are you doing? You're not here for these segments very much anymore. What are you doing this weekend?

No, I'm just chilling. I think, number one, I'm going to do dinner tomorrow night for two years, my Jeter year. Are we doing Jeets? Yeah, Jeets. Then I think Randy and I are going to go shut down Deep Eddie if you guys want to come. I mean, that is right down the street from my place. So that might be a plan. I haven't been there in so long, man.

It's fun. It's probably my favorite bar in Austin, too. That might be a plan. I haven't been there in so long, man. It's fun. It's probably my favorite bar in Austin, too. I will only go if Randy attempts, even if it's not on the menu, to order a T-bone at the restaurant. He insists. There are off-menu specials, like the chili relleno ribs.

I don't like it when people do the off-menu stuff. Just put it on the menu. They have lobster rolls corn or uh lobster rolls off menu like what if i only have one opportunity to go to that restaurant i'm like oh well sorry i didn't get the best thing because it's not on your fucking menu it's like a weird thing to where it's it's on their website it's labeled as off menu so it's not like you don't you don't even need to know what it's labeled as off menu love that i kind of love that so it still gives you the feeling of doing something off menu and regular-ish.

I'll take the off menu item, please. Dude, when I'm at In-N-Out, I always order mine animal style. Dude, fuck. That's crazy. The fries aren't that good, though. A little bit of mustard fried. I'm trying to golf this weekend, too. I mean, we're getting late here, Brett.

It's Wednesday. It's tough getting a tee time at this point. Brett, you make a tee time, I will ask my wife. Yep. I will do the same. If a tee time gets made, I will run it by my wife with no guarantee that I'll be playing golf. All right. I might see what's around then.

I haven't swung the sticks in a minute since the Toad. I'm down to swing some sticks. Not me. You out? Yep. Hey. Oh, no. You know what time it is?

I've got a golf trip coming up. Where? San Diego. Oh, no. You know what time it is? I have a golf trip coming up. Where? San Diego. Oh, man. Dude, you need to go hit some balls or something. You're going to just go out there and you're going to get mad and quit after four holes. I'm not going to get mad. Of course you're playing.

Where are you playing? I don't know. You playing TP? We tried to, but I don't think we can make it happen. You playing Coronado Muni? Like I said, I don't know. You playing San Diego Country Club? Yep.

Riviera? Not totally. Yeah. Ooh, Riviera would be a fun one. We have a house on Mission Beach. Dang. A bunch of missionaries. Close to PB.

Right. Missionary. Some people are saying that's Mission Impossible. Dude, are you going to go to Chad's taco place? Mission Bay, B-A-E. No, we're not doing that. No, I'll probably won't go there. Dude, Chad has his taco place.

It's in Escondido. Yeah, but the tacos, he can't tell you which one specifically, but the tacos are so good. Yeah. The best he's ever had, but he doesn't know what it is. Yeah, not sure which one it is, though. Hey, it's time for Brett's Breaking News. Oh, my God.

Presented by Small Business September. I didn't know this was going to be presented by Small Business September, but it is. So here we go. Oh, you're going to do it. You want to? No, do it up. Our first one is Ants Be Gone.

Shouts to backer Austin H. from Lake Village, Arkansas. This dude hates ants. He's got 10 years of experience in home lawn and commercial fire ant control. He's licensed, man. Licensed. Only one to two applications per year, depending on the location. He's currently operating out of Arkansas and Louisiana.

But he will be adding Texas. Let's go! Well, when he does, guess who's got an ant problem in his front yard? This guy. How many? I haven't counted them. You've got to call Austin Henderson, dude, of Ants Be Gone Home Lawn Ant Control. No one counts ants.

Let's see. Email arkansas.antsbegone at gmail.com. That's arkansas.ants, the letter B, gone at gmail.com. Swag. Very cool. Austin and antsbegone. Our second one is Crimshop. You may have seen some of her work in this very studio.

Yes, yes. She has done dog portraits for all three of our dogs, and I believe her Stella one is part of her banner logo thing. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Yeah, I guess Rosie didn't make the cup. Well, the Stella one

is clearly... I think the Stella one is getting too much gas. I think Rosie's the real main event here. Did she just like take the Randy one and like copy paste?

A lot of people were saying Rosie looks mid in that. Not that the painting itself wasn't awesome, but Rosie herself. And it would be too bad if Dylan's mic got muted for the rest of the episode.

Well, you've got the board, bro. Crim's custom pet portraits are available for sale on Etsy. They feature detailed illustration work in a modern style to bring your furry friend to life. It's kind of a new twist on an old favorite. It is. And we met her. She's lovely.

Yeah. My plan is I have the rosy one. I'm trying to figure out what I'm doing with the room that it's going to be in so I can determine what type of frame I frame it with

because that's how nice it is. I went rogue and just put mine up and it was like whatever. And Alyssa's like, oh yeah, it looks good there. That's gang shit. Damn, dude.

Dude, like, I don't care, man. Like, I'm the dude who just does stuff, bro. That's sick. That's sick. That is sick. That's fucking sick. Go to Etsy.com slash shop slash crim shop.

That's C-R-I-M. Crim. Shop. And use promo code WASHED for 10% off your custom pet portrait. What? We're doing promo codes for Small Biz September? What? Love that.

Let's go. I appreciate a good business development. I do, too. That's Small. I appreciate a good business development. I do too. That's Small Biz September. Would you like to go? Dylan, I'll give you the first pick. This week in Ritz, Subway exposed or KJ gets cut. Two of the three deal with me again.

This week in Ritz, please. Sure. Dave, you're a big Ritz guy. Everybody knows that about me. Well, you've created a massive issue. Ah, darn it. Is this about crackers? It is.

Okay. In Portland, Oregon, there is a Nabisco strike. Workers have walked out of the Oreo and Ritz factory along Northeast Columbia Boulevard. Let's go. Since August 10th, the, let me get this union correct, the bakery, confectionery, tobacco workers, and grain millers, international union, local 364. Oh, yeah.

Of which I am a member. Went on strike nearly a month ago to protest Mondelez's, Mondelez? Mondelez? Sure. Mondelez! New contract. Mondelez is coming in and stripping overtime pay and providing less robust health care coverage. What the fuck, Nabisco?

I've always said. Hey, Ritz, not eating your shit anymore. Hey, Ritz, you're out of here. Oh, Oreos? No, thank you. You can't because the. You can double stuff them up your butt. Wow.

Well, you can't because the strikers have parked their cars on the railroad tracks so the trains can't bring in materials needed to process. Badass. Absolutely love it. Absolutely love it. Apparently these stores are stocking up on all this stuff. Hey, guess what? It doesn't matter.

You're wasting your money. We're not eating that anymore. I've always said the workers have nothing to lose but their chains. You have always said that. Does your chain hang low? Are you pro or anti-union, Dave? I'm pro-union. He's a big union guy.

I just wanted to get that on the road. I'm so pro. And I just, please, to all my libertarian friends, please hit me up about that. Dave is known to buy massive amounts of Ritz crackers. So I just wanted to make sure that was... Big Ritz guy. Why are you supporting these companies? We're buying so much Ritz that we're pretty much paying their overtime right now without even thinking about it.

No. You can't strip overtime. You guys didn't realize I was playing chess. I bought those knowing that y'all would make fun of me for buying that many. And therefore, people would be like, yeah, I guess Ritz aren't that great. So look at that. And now look. The way your brain works is truly impressive.

You're just five steps ahead of everyone else. they're playing checkers i'm playing chess right hey checkmate will you have an ongoing feud with known uh front of the podcast kj correct fuck kj wow dang man well kj got cut by who by umienna Dean, who has opened Cranky Granny's Sweet Rolls in North Austin. Was he going to open a sweet roll thing in Austin? A noted episode of the Mail-In Podcast said if he were to have a food truck, he would do cinnamon rolls and French toast. I don't hate that. Well, guess what? The market's been saturated.

Cranky Granny's Sweet Rolls has opened up in North Austin. Randy, would you help me out here? Yeah. I mean, it looks pretty good. That looks pretty good. That's fucking glazed as fuck. KJ, the Austin market has been taken by a friend from New Jersey who has moved here to sell her sweet rolls.

What does that French toast do, though? French toast is still on the market. Let me be clear. Okay, because I was going to say, I'm a big French toast guy. French toast is so good. Is it just the worst for you? It's not good for you. It's good, though. A little cinnamon on that? Not a little cinnamon. I'm going crazy

with cinnamon. Okay. Call me Cinnamon. Sorry, KJ. I will support you in your fight against cranky granny cinnamon. Call me Cinnamon He said Like the Applejacks guy Here I come I am Cinnamon

Dave Spicy Ready to hear about This Subway feature What'd you do now dude I normally like to end on a high But yeah let's hear it TikToker

Secret.Subway.slut has shared two videos to her page what? revealing all oh no secret subway slut yep while some restaurants

inevitably look it up you gotta think that's not wholesome content while some restaurants well it might be wholesome okay some restaurants order everything pre-packaged guess who doesn't Subway eat fresh That might be wholesome. Okay. Some restaurants order everything prepackaged.

Guess who doesn't? Subway. Eat fresh. They order all their veggies fresh and ready to go. They cut them up in-house. And why do they still suck so much? Hold on a sec. Dave is someone who's prepared a Subway sandwich before.

I was thinking about that. Okay. They said everything except for the pickles, jalapenos, banana peppers, and olives. Those coming back. I get banana peppers on my Subway when I go. That's awesome. Which has been seven years, probably. I have an announcement regarding the Subs. After my Sub yesterday that I got from Thundercloud, the famous Austin chain,

Thundercloud is not as shitty as I once thought it was. Dude, the whole squad was eating New York Italians. Not me. I was eating a Lady Bird. Oh, yeah, you did get a Lady Bird. What the hell? I mashed that chicken salad button with a little bacon on it, a little avocado, a little jalapeno.

You need to give T-Cloud a little bit more love, man. Nah, dude. It's really mediocre. And I need people to know that it's very mediocre. For like six and a half bucks, you can't get a better sub. It goes Jersey Mike's, Thundercloud, Jimmy John's. You know Will only likes sandwiches

that are wrapped, it's like wrapped in saran wrap on portrait mode. True. Oh yeah. Only portrait mode sandwiches for this guy.

Thank you, David. Secret Subway Slut also said, the meat is not fresh. That comes in, that comes in bags. Could have guessed that.

Gross. Oh, wow. Shocker. I love a good bag of meat. So Subway getting a little freshness love. Dave? Well, I don't care. They left me off the schedule.

So they could suck it. They could take this $5. That's your official stance? Subway can suck it? Yeah. Yeah, that's it. I'm going to unionize all Subway can suck it. Yeah, that's it. I'm going to unionize all subway workers. I'm part of the resistance.

You're going to be like Casey Affleck in Ocean's 13, just protesting with them? That's a reference I don't know. Dude, it's the best part of Ocean's 13. I know. Real ones are what I'm talking about. I thought your favorite was the new one. You should binge them.

You should binge the Ocean's movie. I know what I'm doing this weekend. Let's run it back. Just toss on TNT or TBS. They'll all be on at some point. You're right about that. What did you ask me, Brett? I thought your favorite was the new Oceans movie.

It's in the top four. It's in the top four. There's a new one? Oceans 8. It's universally panned i think they should have done oceans 14 and just had 14 ladies in it to eight wow you know there's a new my queens huh there's a new ocean where is it i think it's this uh oh i don't even want to say there's a new ocean frank you're brett's gonna fuck this up. No, where were you going to say it? I was going to say the Southern Indian Ocean.

No. But it's not. You can't just take part of one ocean and turn it into a whole new ocean. It's not a new ocean. There's renaming part of another one, right? It's like when a new ocean is brought up somewhere. The Southern Ocean. The Southern Ocean.

Oh, they really dipped into the bag of creativity for that. The Southern Ocean. That sounds like a polo brand that started in Fayetteville and failed two months later. Who even names the oceans? Who's deciding this? Is there some global... Great question. David Attenborough.

Yeah. There's not some global committee that gets together and like, should we make a new ocean? I bet it was an oceanographer. Very possible. Is it time? What an episode. It's been a real quick podcast week. I apologize for this episode.

No, don't apologize. Shouts to all the mommies out there. Anybody else? Bye. Bye. Bye