Circling Back - Dillon's Bet Buyouts & Wedding Photographers

Episode Date: October 11, 2021

Will gives Dillon several buyout options so he doesn't have to get a Circling Back tattoo on his butt, a wedding photographer jumped ship after being denied a plate of food at dinner, Brett went to The State Fair of Texas, Dillon's back is down bad, and more. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (14:20) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (31:40) Potential Buyouts for Dillon’s Ass Tattoo (44:40) Wedding Photographer Doesn’t Get Plate of Food (56:00) Brett x State Fair of Texas Support This Episode’s Sponsors Fitbod: www.fitbod.me/steam (20% off) Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast presented by Rowback, where you can get 20% off of your first order using Backer 20. My name's Will DeFreeze. To my left, David Ruff. Some storm that blew through last night, huh? Certainly needed the rain. Yeah, we kind of did this time. Yeah, you're right. I'm really hoping I don't have to turn my sprinklers on at all this week, man. Because I'm tired of it. That's the dream.

It's such a good feeling, man. The I'm tired of it. That's the dream. It's such a good feeling, man. The dream is that Mother Nature takes care of that for you. Because then you've got to walk out there and place it. And if you're like me, you have to move it. And you have the awkward backyard because you've got the side. And you have to – it's just a lot. We don't need to lay it out of your whole yard, really.

Well, you should see. I've got the other side where the AC unit is. And I can't get any grass to grow out there. It's tough. I mean, I don't know about that, Dylan. Our box cutting segment last week had a lot of people talking. You know what I heard? I heard that you can't recycle pizza boxes.

Well, catch me doing it. I've recycled pizza boxes many a time. No, I mean, but when it gets to the facility, they throw it in the trash because of the grease in the box. Because of Bay? Isn't that weird? I don't know how true it is, but that's what Bay told me. I don't know. I don't know how recycling facilities work, but like, I feel like they just throw everything out anyway.

I think, I think you're pretty much. They probably don't. No, I think in my head, they just throw everything out. I think there's like a, like 20% of the actual recycling that you drop in there is actually recycled. I'm glad you brought this up. This brings me to my three-point plan. Reduce, reuse, recycle. That's what's going to get us back to a normal climate.

I stan Mother Nature. I'm a big fan of the environment and the world existing. But me recycling my pizza box versus throwing it out it's not going to affect anything oh i beg to differ you eat a lot of za i do eat a lot of za but like we have a little section carved out just for your za boxes like sometimes i stress myself out i'm like wait should i recycle this or should i throw it away and like honestly does it matter no i actually reuse mine your pizza boxes yeah i'm gonna start returning my pizza boxes to my favorite pizza places and being like yeah just reuse this one yeah just run

it through like a microwave or whatever is there anything isn't there another way they can deliver pizzas at this point like they should have a guy a delivery guy who has a 3d printer in his vehicle and he pulls up and 3d prints you a delicious pepperoni pizza or whatever toppings. I don't hate that. And then he brings it to you. I don't hate that. Straight from the 3D printer to your door in under 30 minutes, or it's free. If I had more room or if I had a backyard, I would definitely buy one of those pizza ovens that you can put in your backyard.

Damn, I think Bea is right. It's because of the grease that contaminates it. It makes it unrecyclable. What? Can't they just get a degreaser? I don't know. Will the grease over here? That Bea, she is just so smart.

My gosh. You can intro me if you like. Hang on, I'm not done with this pizza stuff. I mean, get Dylan in. Dylan Chivary is in the building. I'm not going to do what everyone expects me to do, which is complain about the terrible neck-back situation I'm currently experiencing from sleeping on it weirdly two nights ago.

I'm not going to do that because I'm a gamer. I'm going to play through it. I'm going to just put forth my best effort, and we're going to have a good week of content, of podcasting. Cool. I'm just really excited about it. We hear that. We're going to have a good week of content and podcasting.

That's good to know. We've had a real good couple weeks. Podcasting. Anytime spooky season's in the mix, we start to kind of perk up a little bit. I think it's taken a toll on me. I think I'm burning the candle think I'm getting a little, I'm burning the candle at both ends right now. And I'm not even trimming the wick.

True bad boy shit. Wow. True bad boy shit. Yeah. It's been a strong, we've had a strong month so far. I'm just, I need a break. Okay. I just had, I just had a revelation.

You just met the pizza boxes. Edible pizza boxes. The pizza box is made of the crust. So they bake a box. They put a normal pizza inside of the crust box. You eat your pizza. And then you cut it up with one of those big half-circle sharp knives. It's not really a knife.

I don't know what it's called. Anyway. And you slice it up, and it's like little bread and you just dip it in a marinara or a sauce of your choosing. Maybe a ranch. Did you ever think of that? Maybe a garlic butter. Ooh, that Papa John stuff. Didn't you have a chacaroni last night? No, I, to be honest, Dave, when you put it in the group text that you were having a chacaroni last night, I was very excited because I kind of wanted to see what it was all about. It's a pepperoni pizza. But when I found out that it was a joke and that you weren't actually getting the chacaroni, I was honestly kind of bummed.

Yeah. I was really looking forward to having a pick of that pizza coming through. If the lid of your pizza box doesn't have grease on it, you can tear that off and recycle that. Yeah, dude, I'm totally going to do that. If you really care. If you follow Dave's three-step initiative that he just came up with on the spot. Which is, Dylan, there's a quiz.

Recycle, reduce, reuse. Maybe not in that order, but those are the three. You'll get full credit for that answer. Are you guys too old to remember the big help on Nickelodeon? Was that in your wheelhouse? Did you enjoy that? Is that the one about the financial crisis?

Yeah, yeah. I don't know that one. It was the big help and every every year they'd have a giant event and they would have all the stars from nickelodeon in attendance they would sing a song about recycling reducing and reusing dave and uh it was always a pretty lit event i remember one time they had uh the band that did come on ride the train how'd they know that cnc music factory yeah they had them and i was like this is truly wild how did they know that? CNC Music Factory? Yeah, they had them, and I was like, this is truly wild. How did they have that information? They just came up with it.

How do you know Dave? That's Quad City DJs. I apologize. Yeah, I had a feeling that it wasn't CNC Music Factory, but I didn't have any resolution. I tried. I tried, guys. Today might be an all-time dumb day from your boy.

My brain is just foggy. You about to go silly on him? Yeah, same. I mean, I knew we had a storm rolling last night, but I didn't know there was a fog that infiltrated everything. I took a strong painkiller last night to deal with the aforementioned neck, back, shoulder issue I'm dealing with. It's got me kind of foggy this morning.

Is it your neck, your back? My neck and my back. Your? It's like right by the shoulder blade is where the epicenter of the pain, but it's all up in my neck. I can't even. It's a good usage of the word epicenter. Thank you.

See, that's like where the focus is, Will. Dude, in college, Dylan's place was the epicenter. It was. Because we would always just play beer pong over there. It was epic over there. That's sick. We could not stop playing flippy cup. Flippy cup? Flippy Cup?

Flippy Cup. Or Flip Cup. Flip Cup. I could see Dylan being terrible at Flip Cup. He would just throw on a dang hook. He would throw on a dang hook stand-up. We would just go over there and pregame hard. Of course, Survivor Flip Cup is the best.

Yes. You're not wrong about that. It's goaded. I am a well-known cheater when it comes to playing flip cup i'm guiding the cup over oh you i'm i'm intention set it down yeah i'm intentionally pouring beer on the table in front of me so that it sticks you have to like i i am not i'm not above completely cheating and oh no i spilled some beer let's smooth it out and make a nice little okay landing dude is anybody has college humor done a squid game but with a beer drinking games, pre-gaming games?

Life or death, bro. It's just a bunch of Boston dudes playing fucking squid game. These fucking squids. Oh, yeah, yeah. You lose, you're a fucking squid. It's beer dye with bread, or bread. Bread? Bread merriman.

Get your bread up. It would be fun to do, like, instead of just having beer Olympics, you just have a squid game, but with drinking stuff, if you're a college kid right now. We should make a video. Beer Olympics video. Can I interject something? Don't talk about that.

Can I interject? I guess. You can just talk. I still don't completely understand the final game of squid game. I don't either. There's literally no squids. You know they're doing a real squid game in uh some country are people gonna die apparently without the violence which like okay oh no thank you what's the point yeah like if the

state if the stakes on life or death i don't really feel like playing it how much do we did anyone uh do the uh the conversion for how much money was actually won? Yes. How much is it? About 37 million US. Okay. Okay. Because I wondered the entire time.

I was like, are we dealing with like hundreds of millions of dollars? Yeah. Are we dealing with like five million dollars? It's generational. Okay. It's life changing. It is life changing money. You think 37 million is generational?

Do you think if they all knew that there would be one winner, they would have gone back? Probably not. There is always just going to be one winner, though. I don't think they knew that. Like what? You think like snake face tattoo guy and then like the annoying girl are going to like go do it together?

I think the way they explained it to everybody was the winners at the end get to split the prize money. Yeah. I don't know. It get to split the prize money. Yeah. I don't know. It's worth looking into. Yeah, yeah. Shots of Squid Game. Let's get some programming notes out of the way.

As you guys know, it is spooky season. It's a season where things get spooky. Every Tuesday, Dave compiles probably our best content that we ever do. That's a lot of praise. I mean, Dave, I will heap all the praise onto you that I feel like heaping today. Big heap energy out of your boy right now. You can go over to patreon.com slash trickling back podcast and sign up for either the spooky tier or the optimized tier to hear that content.

Or you can even just go back on this feed a couple episodes. And we did a little free preview for all the people out there. And if you do subscribe for a yearly subscription on Patreon, you can get 10% off. Yeah, I said 10%. That's a, what, like a $12 value? Quite a deal. Yeah. Yeah, that's two $5

footlongs plus tax. Wow. That's 10 Arby's sandwiches from 15 years ago in the 5 for 5 deal. How does that translate to a won Korean currency? Hard to say. Yeah. It's quite a few won we think. Yeah.

Probably like 121. No, it's more than that. You can also leave a review and five star rating about this podcast. We would implore you to do so as that helps us navigate the charts. You guys familiar with these podcast charts? They're not kind to us. Unfortunately,

I feel like there's something we're doing wrong. Cause like, i know we do bigger listens than a lot of these dorks on the charts we need to get our seo up dorks if there's one thing in life that i have no desire to ever even think about again it's seo i'm not trying to optimize any search engines right now do you guys want to hear them and optimize your engines i like to be deep cut search engine i don't like to be at the top like just, just find me, man. Someone said, day one back or still confused. I've listened to 100 plus hours of the pod and I still can't figure out what Dillion's deal is. That's you. You're Dillion.

No, my name's Dillon. Who misspelled that name recently? Everybody. Everybody. Somebody we know misspelled it recently. Literally everybody. Someone said, meditation. Let's talk about clearing your head before a big day. Imagine making

a smoothie in your kitchen and listening to three men discuss breaking down cardboard boxes. The waves that are coming from this cardboard box segment, we can't quantify them at this point. But pizza box is a little bit different. As you know. You can't recycle them if they're contaminated by the grease and or cheese.

Someone said stuck pretending I'm a 33-year-old in Austin. I started ironically copying the slang of three them if they're contaminated by the grease and or cheese someone said someone said stuck pretending i'm a 33 year old in austin i started ironically copying the slang of three dudes dudes who are stuck in 2016 now i can't stop saying goaded eating fajitas drinking vizzies and talking about my weekends as a father of none damn someone also asked do will and i have the same dad big fan of the law and long time oh this is this is long i don't think i have the same dad big fan of the long and long time oh this is this is long i don't think we have the same dad considering that you grew up in the philly suburbs my guy but like either way secret family in philly you think my dad had a secret family what if you're

related to dan too i'd be fine with that you could convince me dan and i are related in some way honestly not i mean it's the beard the beard about the're about the same height. Yeah, I could see, like he just works out. Are you taller than Dan? No, no, I thought I was taller than Dan for about three years. Remember Dan's sneaky six.

And then Dan, Dan, no, he's sneaky like maybe six one. No. I said to him one day via Slack or Gchat or something,

I was like, dude, I thought you were 5'10 or something this entire time. He's not 5'10. 5'10? He walks over to me and he stands up

and he was like, stand up. And so I stood up next to him and I was like, oh, you're taller than me. It throws you off because one of his legs is a little bit off center. True. It leans. True.

So it's like, oh. Does it really throw you off? Have you not heard him talk about how his leg was set incorrectly when he broke it? We need to go back and get some compensation from that doctor. Yeah, absolutely. Dan, if you're listening, I'd like to represent you. Pro bono. A nominal 40% fee of all collected.

Some proceeds will go to charity. But most of them are going to go in the pocket, right? Yes. Most are going to go to my local recycling center. You can also go on YouTube.com slash Wash Media and watch all of our episodes on there. I'm going to give a special shout out to the grind boy of all grind boys, and that is Randy Trimbaki.

If you follow Randy on Instagram at Randy Trimbaki, you know that last night he was seen celebrating in Chicago, and he is currently sitting in the studio right now doing work. Drinking a Gatorade. Dude, just drinking a Gatorade. I think I saw him have

some beef jerky for breakfast when we got here we all immediately said uh you should have taken the day off yeah I honestly last night had it hit me before I went to bed I was like wait surely he's not he's not going he's just married to the game he's lucky but for those wondering he's not actually married so if you want to slide into his yeah you can do that too I saw some uh I saw some uh thirst traps getting posted over the weekend. Yeah, he even got the circling back repost. You've got to think there was some action going on in the DMs there. He popped up.

He did. I think it's time for the recap in this weekend of fun presented by Fitbod. Speaking of. If there's anything I need right now, it's a Fitbod session. I'm not even going to front like I don't. I'm down bad. I've been treating my body like trash lately, and I need to get back in the routine. Don't get stuck doing the same workouts because making progress toward the future you means overcoming new challenges.

And FitBod creates a fitness program that continually adapts with new exercises and dynamic intensity that adjust to how you're progressing. So you'll be challenged to meet your goals at your own pace dylan i know you use fitbot like a lot and i know that brett has been using it like crazy lately and he's he's showing dividends brett's looking good lately he's quite fit yes um i got i just got a new phone so i was logged out of fitbods but i'm going to take the opportunity to tell you that i'm going through the steps to like reset up my program and i forgot how like customizable it is you even like you select like beginner intermediate advanced muscle groups even says like i asked you like how big is your gym because some gyms don't have all the equipment right um oh if you're an

apartment gym yeah you're screwed it customizes your workout for what you want to get out of it. It's pretty incredible actually. Well, and for anyone that gets bored of their workouts, if you're just trying to get stronger, trying to get a little more in shape, whatever it is, it can tailor everything right to you.

It can even help you just work on specific muscle groups. Like Dylan said, it creates a program based on unique body experience and environment. And their algorithm uses data and analytics to help you build on your last workout to maximize your results. Just like Dylanylan said too if you have no equipment no worries fitbot has body weight routines for those looking to get fit at home or on the go and it's super easy to use even as hd video tutorials to make learning new exercises a breeze it integrates with other fitness apps like apple health fitbit strava all your all your main players there

you can get personalized training. It's tough on a budget sometimes, but with FitBot, it's only $9.99 a month or $59.99 a year. That yearly subscription is where it's at. Sign up now and you'll get 25% off your membership. Pick up the pace on your fitness journey with FitBot today and your future self will thank you. Get 25% off of your membership at fitbod.me slash steam that's 25 off at fitbod.me slash steam dylan what did you get into this weekend oh wow thank you for asking will uh friday uh actually i met up with you we had a little dinner situation got some

drinks and uh hung out with baye, some friends, Will, little sister-in-law. It was a great night. Shout out to my family. Saturday was kind of all about watching football and watching a very unfortunate Texas OU game. A wild, wild day of sports, actually. Weekend of sports. More on too much dip later today.

But, yeah, Saturday was kind of, aside from the game, I still had fun. I mean, went out and got some drinks again, kind of got into one. I heard you went to Carve on Saturday night. Is that true? Oh, I did go to Carve on Saturday. It was not Prime Rib Thursday on Saturday. No, no. They actually, we put our order in.

We were going to split a filet. Well, we did split a filet, but they forgot to put our order in, basically. Split a filet. It was a filet. Split a filet. Late night meal. Eat a filet. They forgot to put our order in.

They came back an hour later like, we forgot to put your order in, so they comped the steak and the potatoes. What is up with this? This happened to us Saturday night, too, Dylan. Remember, we ordered some drinks on, sorry, Friday night. You and I ordered some drinks, and they never came came and we got a free round of drinks which i was appreciative of but we did yeah i don't remember maybe you were just mega twisted i guess i was twisted yeah uh sunday watched a lot of nfl and i was nursing this uh this neck shoulder thing that

i'm not even going to talk about but it's absolutely excruciating. And I watched social media coverage of my son going to ACL. He was bopping, dude. Oh my gosh, this kid. He's on a different level right now. Yeah, it was overall a fantastic weekend.

Again, the sports. Are you kidding me? Are you serious with these? More about that. I'm too much dip. We them boys, man. Boys look good. We dem boys. Dave, do the boys look good? Again, the sports. Are you kidding me? Are you serious with these? More about that on Too Much Dip. We them boys, man. Oh, we them boys. Boys look good. We them boys. Boys look good.

Dave, do the boys look good? I'm going to save that take for Too Much Dip. Just say yes. Are you going to ask me? I'm a Cowboys fan. Yeah, Will. Welcome. Yeah.

Do the boys look good, Will? I'm a big Cowboys guy now, yeah. Are the boys buzzing? Dude, I'm a big Trayvon guy. You're not going to believe my take on the Cowboys. Trayvon? Are you kidding with this guy? Dude, what's he doing?

No fly zone. No, I've decided, and this is my official take, as my hometown Lions are 0-5 right now, I need some skin in the game at this point. Yeah. And, you know, I was going to go with the Rams because of Matthew Stafford and stuff like that, but I was like, why can't I just bop with the boys?

Bop with the boys. So I'm bopping with you guys. I'm going to start watching Cowboys games now. I'm going to have some fun. Good. It's a fun team. What'd that boy get into this weekend? I had my annual golf trip to East Texas.

Beautiful Frankston, Texas. I mean, if you've ever been through there, you know, there's just so much going on. No, it's a cool place pine dunes great great course really like the layout um we do it's pretty much a bunch of guys from back home um and they're some of their friends and there's like 28 of us we do a practice round on friday and then a solo round Saturday. Then we do a draft and we pick two-man teams. So we do a two-man scramble in the afternoon. Then from there we do a draft for a four-man scramble on Sunday morning. So a lot of golf.

Body feels pretty good considered. But, man, it was just a lot. We went out there. There was a guy, Charlie. Shout out Charlie. He has a griddle that he brings every year, and he cooks, does breakfast, does breakfast tacos. Not a McGriddle. He brought a bunch of McGriddles to the guys' trip.

Could have used one yesterday, honestly. Love a good McGriddle. Ooh, with the little dots of syrup in the pancake outer layer. It's just great. And then, yeah, was uh it was a lot of fun we uh got back last night watched the cowboy game listen to the cowboy game on my phone while driving back certainly wasn't watching it at all would not do that but it was good man it was it was good weekend um you know an ambulance might have been called early Friday morning or Saturday morning.

I guess it was Sunday morning due to somebody got into the edibles a little bit hard and thought they might be having a heart attack. And this person, I'm not going to add him, but I think he might have had pre-existing harsh heart issues or maybe had some and he was worried about that i don't know but he was fine ended up playing the next day and he's an a player he's a a good player i've never actually played with him but uh played quite well his team did so shout out to them they beat us you love you love a good classic edible freak out that ends with a visit from an ambulance.

I feel like if you're going to dance or you're going to partake in the edible game, you're going to have one of those one time. Did it take too many? You need at least one to keep you honest. There was a lot of – there was like a taffy that someone – Was he shaking that Laffy Taffy? It was a taffy, and one of the guys who – the guy who brought it, the guy that you all play golf with, I won't name him,

he's a very experienced edible guy. He's experienced with a lot of things. And he was like, dude, whoa, whoa, whoa, you're eating a lot. And he's like, no, I guess he said I'll be good. And the results may shock you. He wasn't good. Dude, he should have just taken an early bird and called it a night. Both nights, this guy.

It's perfect. Took one, went and laid in bed, lied in bed, and watched the fight Saturday night on my phone by myself. It was fantastic. Why is Bit Madness this year going to have lied versus laid? Like, it's so stupid that this has become a thing. But Dave changed my life at PGP

one day when he explained it to me. You changed two things that I did incorrectly my entire life up until that point. You know what they were? Go ahead. One of them was lied versus laid. Just never knew what to do with that. The other one was one time, I think I'd just written so many wedding columns at this point, that Dave finally just said, hey, man, dance floor is two words.

Damn. You know what's funny about that? That rocked your shit, I bet, didn't it? He recently asked if dance floor was two words the other day. And I was like, dude, you literally told me that it was two words like five years ago. Dude, when you're not in edit mode anymore, you're just, you're slipping, man, when you're not doing editorial. Can I do a one-versus-two-word pet peeve of mine that's just going crazy right now? Yeah.

The word every day, people are, no one, I feel like 98% of people don't know when it's one and when it's two words. So they just always just go with one as default to it, and most of the time they're incorrect. If only there was something called Grammarly that could solve that issue for you. Every day, one word is an adjective. Every day, two words, of course, is a noun. See, I don't like the direction you're taking the pod. You're always trying to let people learn stuff.

It's an everyday mistake people make one word. I make the mistake every day. That's two. I don't want to let people learn stuff. It's an everyday mistake. People make one word. I make the mistake every day. That's two. I don't want to inform people. Soapbox. Done with it. Where did the term soapbox come from? No one knows.

It's like, was there just some, like the soap dude in like 1700s Philadelphia was like... Went around just lecturing people. I'm going to stand on my soap box. It's a box of soap. It's a box of soap? Sean Connery? Yeah.

Yeah, why is it Sean Connery? Because he just immigrated from fucking Scotland. Is that where soap comes from? Is it that hard to figure this out? Is that where soap comes from? Yeah, dude, they have the best artisanal soap, dude. I thought it was Wales. Dude.

Wales. Wales. Wales. Is it the weirdest thing in the world that whales has their own language welsh yeah like what's up with like do you just speak english like everybody katherine zeta jones what does it sound like i don't know but i i i don't think that everyone in wales learns how to speak welsh i think it's kind of one of those things that's kind of getting faded out stupid like what if your kid's like, yeah, I want to learn Welsh.

I'd be like, no, you're not. Just learn English. What's the point, dude? Everyone knows English over there. I was in my bag this weekend. What's here? Went out with Dylan. Dude, is it a coincidence

that you and I hung out twice this weekend after you got a new phone? Wow. Starting to think that, like, you weren't getting texts at one point. That is crazy. Yeah, went out with Dylan, had some drinks on Friday night before going solo to ACL Moody Theater for a widespread panic concert. Not only did I arrive late to miss one of their most popular songs, but I also left early to miss the rush of people trying to get Ubers.

Luckily for me, my Uber was only $39 to take it a mile home. Very cool. You should have walked. It was probably three miles, but still. Not a hard Uber ride from where I was, so the fact that it was $39 was a little upsetting. It was ACL weekend. I get it. Yeah, yeah. I will say, they played a good enough show that I drunkenly bought a ticket for Sunday nights, and spoilers, did not make it to the Sunday show. So unlike the saying, never miss a Sunday show, I did exactly that, and I missed a Sunday show. Luckily for me, I did have some coin on the Tyson Fury fight in favor of Tyson Fury,

and that covered the cost of the ticket that I drunkenly bought out of excitement when I was at the Friday show. Okay. Very cool. Saturday, woke up, hung out with Dylan, watched the UT game. Gotta think Dylan was not in a good mood. I wasn't. Why not? What happened? I think they lost. Very quiet.

Yeah, we ate some tacos, had some margaritas, just really enjoyed it. And then I decided to hop back on the party train and I mixed up some cocktails at my place all night with my sister-in-law's boyfriend. Ate some pizza, watched the Fury fight,

watched Texas A&M beat Bama. I thought Bama had it this year. I thought they were going to be really good, you know? Oh, yeah, laughing stock. We've all seen the video. What is that? It's so stupid. How'd they hit that shit so hard?

I don't know. The one with the last second field goal. Yeah. I'm going to dress Parks like that for Christmas. Or, sorry, for Halloween. Please don't. Yeah, I'm going to do it. Dude, bet payoff.

You have to go flat top and full. And walk around doing the- Yeah, we'll get to bet payoffs in a few minutes here, my friends. Oh, God. Yesterday, I spent most of the day watching a little NFL, but I also spent a decent amount of my day yesterday watching The Morning Show on Apple. Season 2 has recently come out. I think there's about five episodes released.

And I've come to the conclusion that The Morning Show, starring an all-star cast, is a bad show. Wow. Never seen a single episode. Whoa, hold on. Hey. I think there are some good individual performances within the show, but I think this show might stink, baby. Damn.

I just don't think it's very good. Take Canon. I also think that Apple TV+, whatever you want to call it, I think they've been winning a lot of awards lately, and I don't know if it's just. Wow. I know my wife enjoyed season one quite a bit. I enjoyed season one enough to start watching season two,

but my gripes with season one have all been further confirmed in season two. They also just completely stripped Reese Witherspoon of her southern accent and just decided to make her talk like Reese Witherspoon now. Was that intentional, like, for the character? I don't know. No, like, they never acknowledged it, but she started off as this, like for the character? I don't know. No, like they never acknowledged it. But she started off as this like southern girl, and now she's just Reese Witherspoon playing a news anchor.

Is it set in New York? The concrete jungle where dreams are made of? Yeah. Yeah, New York. The Windy City, yes. Okay. Last night in Austin was the Windy City, man. We had gusts up to 40 miles an hour in some places.

He was in the actual Windy City, man. We had gusts up to 40 miles an hour in some places. He was in the actual Windy City last night. Whoa, dude. Things are blowing right now. I had a point, but it was not going to contribute to the conversation, so just go on. I don't have anything more. I fell asleep very

early last night intentionally, and I'm feeling a little better today. I can't get Bay into the murders show. Can't. She's just not Only murders in the building? Wow, she must not like delightful light banter and comedy mixed with some murder mystery. I will go on though

without her. Good. It's a very easy watch. It's all of 26 minutes. Hurts nobody. Just watch it. What's your problem? We had some weekends, huh? It was a good weekend to be one of us. Dude, best month of the year.

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There still seems to be confusion, even though it's been a recurring game we play, and I think we've explained it before. Still seems to be confusion, even though it's been a recurring game we play, and I think we've explained it before. But basically, there's a challenge. Someone challenges someone else to a game of odds. And basically, they say, okay, odds are, and then insert tasks that you don't want to do, basically. One we use often is odds that you chug this salsa at a restaurant.

Dave had to do it once. You had to chug salsa one time, right? Yeah, which, let me tell you. If you accept the game of odds. Didn't sit well. Was it kind of like when you have the lettuce wrap sauce from P.F. Chang's? Not quite to that level for some reason, but it's very close, actually. Brett's night got wrecked once chugging salsa at Matt's. Never do the salsa chug.

It always seems like an easy one. I would do salsa over queso. If the person accepts the challenge and they say, okay, yes, there's a one in blank chance that I will do this. And the higher, obviously, is like the least you want to do it, right? So if you say one in 100, you're probably not going to have to do it because there's a 1% chance you have to do it. So Will challenged me to a game of odds last week behind the paywall this was live

in-game betting live yes and basically he said odds what are the odds you get a tattoo on your ass that is the circling back logo but it's your face for all three instead of the two of you and i said oh i don't want to do that get a permanent tattoo. One in 100 is what I said. So the game was on, right? Then we count down from three, and at that time, we each say a number between one and 100. If we say the same number, I lose odds, thus have to get the tattoo. But if the numbers add up to 100,

like if we said 94 and 6, for example, then Will would have to do it because he's the one who challenged me. That's how odds works. We both said the same number. 32. 32.

Mr. 32 himself. Should we just get him to get a 32 tattoo on his ass instead? You know what, though? I was saying, you didn't say what size it had to be. Okay. I could get a tiny little thing.

You could. You could, but you'd still get an ass tattoo. Well, Dylan, luckily for you, I have crowdsourced some potential bet payouts, buyouts, that would allow you to not get a permanent tattoo on your body. Okay? I've compiled some of my favorites into a small document here, and I'm going to go through some of these for you. Okay, but do I actually get to choose one of these?

Are these acceptable buyouts? You don't get to choose one, but we get to negotiate. Okay. The first one was someone that said you should cover one night for me in Cabo during your wedding trip. Oh, spooky! An eyeball just fell off the wall.

Did it roll everywhere? It rolled over here. during your wedding trip. Oh, spooky. An eyeball just fell off the wall. An eyeball just fell. Whoa. Did it roll everywhere? It rolled over here. Dude, keep rolling, rolling, rolling. What? I pay for one night in Cabo? Yeah, and while I enjoy this one because it frees me of a night in Cabo.

That shouldn't be a big deal. I don't think it's good. I don't think it's cool. That's not good enough. The greater good or the greater listenership of this podcast is not going to enjoy my night in Cabo. That's more than buying you that Supreme Shacket or whatever the brand was. Two things. Two points.

That's actually the next one. Two points. This shouldn't be that big of a deal because you paid for one night in Paris. True. Second. You had it on VHS, right? Second. I don't like this because it benefits Will only

And not the listeners The listeners get nothing out of it It's like oh cool Will I mean it's great for Will don't get me wrong The next one would be purchase the $500 shacket The shacket of all shackets Wait where is this from? It's from a brand that

Barrett and I talked extensively about on the Fall Fashion episode of the Sunday Scaries podcast, which you can find anywhere. I made Leon Dorr. Yeah, you crushed that, dog. How do you say it for real? That's how you say it. Really?

I was looking at this shacket they had for a long time, and I didn't know how much it was going to cost, and when it came out, it was $500, which meant that it's not shacket season anymore. You can sell out at least two for a good quality shackety either way. So it's not like it's so outrageous but it is expensive.

Now we have, those are the personal ones that I would personally benefit from that I'm not going to hold you to. Right. The next ones on this list are things that more people can enjoy. We have one,

make an Applebee's date night TikTok. For the record, if I do get the tattoo, no one is going to enjoy that. No one's going to see it. I'm not going to show everybody. We'll know. You'll know, but you're not going to enjoy it.

It's still a bet. Would you want to make a full Applebee's date night TikTok? You have to go to an Applebee's. Why do I have to go to an Applebee's? Because this is the deal that I'm putting out in front of you. So you would have to go to Applebee's parking lot. I'm not going to make you go in the Applebee's, just the parking lot with Randy. And I'll be there to direct, obviously.

He's got a phone, right? I need Randy. No, you need Randy. He's a video guy. And you have to perform the entire, not the entire song, but you have to do a significant portion. Oh, I was wondering what song. It's the country song. Applebee's on a date night.

Ain't he like Applebee's? Shouting out class at Applebee's. Is that the one? I don't think so. You have to wear an outfit of my choosing, which would very much be similar to the Texas A&M guy who was doing the weird speech. At what point are we going to crowdsource?

At what point do we crowdsource buyouts for Dave's welching on the Arby's polo? That's a different conversation. The next one, I like how Dylan deflects, even though he is welched on 1.5 bets. True. The next one, piano lessons that culminate with you doing a recital. Zero percent chance. Why? Don't you already know how to?

I'd rather get 100 tattoos. That sounds awesome. Don't you already know how to... I'd rather get 100 tattoos. That sounds awesome. Don't you already know how to play something? A recital? Yeah. Like invite people to an event and play for them? Yeah. We'll do a nice little happy hour at the studio and invite people to your recital.

I do low-key want... Do we have a synth up here? We could get one. I do low-key want piano lessons. Do you have a synthesizer? Can you imagine how lit it would be if we had Dylan's synthesizer recital in the studio? I'm not going to perform for an audience. Oh, that's so...

You do it every morning on this show. True. Yeah, I'm not playing an instrument that I don't know how to play. What if you crush it and you crowd surf out of here? Why are you afraid to tickle ivory? Who's going to go to that? Nobody. Oh, have you been to one of our meetups?

How much do you... We could get 100 people there. Yeah, we could sell tickets to this. For charity. You can keep the money. We can send it to the recycling center. You can either keep the money or you can give it to charity. What else is on the list? Joker makeup on all Monday episodes for a month. That's not bad.

It's not that bad. It's not bad. It's funny. Think about when you go to the bathroom. I'll bring a mirror in here and I'll put it on while I'm in the office. That way I don't have to look like an idiot in the hallway here. What would you do if you just looked over in traffic, and you saw this dude texting next to you while driving,

and he was just in full Joker makeup, and it was Dylan? I would alert the authorities like, hey, some shit might be going down soon. Yeah. There's a copycat. Hey, this guy's going to do something twisted. This one is from a noted friend of the pod, Landry. Do a live stream on our YouTube channel of you counting from one to 20,000. God, that sucks.

How long would that take? At least 20,000 seconds. No. No, it's not one second. Yeah, but once you're at like 19,471, 19,472, 19,473. That would suck. Yeah. I mean, I haven't tried doing that since I was a little kid.

You're right. That might take 10,000 seconds. What's the highest you've ever counted? I probably kind of do. I remember one time I was forced to go on a horseback riding thing, and I was so bored that I decided to count to 1,000, and I think that's the highest I've ever gone. 20,000.

Fuck. Yeah, that would suck. This was one from a lady backer. You would watch that, though. I would. A lady backer said, get a full set of acrylic nails for a week those are the longer ones oh that's so stupid that would be embarrassing i can't couldn't go to gym yeah you wouldn't be able to pick up my son from school it's hilarious that the first

thing i thought of was that dylan could not go to the gym because if he breaks a nail you'd have to go back you can't go to the gym anyway with this neck, so you may as well agree to that and just do it now. True. I have to go out in public. I have to pick up my son from school. I'll pick him up. Yeah.

We'll cover for you. We'll take care of your son for a week if you get acrylic nails. He's checking his watch. He's ready to get out of here. So this is my favorite one. This is also Sally's favorite one, and this is the one that I would want the most, and it's that you have to get a yellow belt in karate.

We've already talked about this as a fantasy football punishment. I think that would be sick. I'll do it with you. But the only requirement that I would have is that I wouldn't want you to do it in an adult class. It would have to be in a children's class so that you're the tallest person there. The tattoo is sounding more and more viable to me. Can I do the yellow belt in karate? more viable to me.

Can I do the yellow belt in karate? But the only downside to having Dylan in a kid's class is that I don't think we could record it, as I think it would be weird to have us recording Dylan around a bunch of children. I will smoke those kids. They don't want this. You bet. You're doing one of the, like,

you have to pair up and spar with somebody, and you just smoke some kid? Yeah, I will. You just crumpled him. You just broke some kid's sternum with a front kick. Yeah. Yeah, Kaylee, spelled K-A-Y-L-E-I-G-H, just gets smoked by a roundhouse from Dylan.

From 37-year-old man. She shows up with a black eye the next day. You're just breaking boards. What else do you have on there? Do they still break boards? Oh, yeah. I'll break a fucking board. The last one, and this would make good on another bet as well as getting you out of this one,

is just bleaching your butthole, Dylan. This goes back to backdoor cover days, right? Yeah. Yep. This is the obvious one. This is not painful for you. If anything, it is a positive. It's kind of a reset button on your butt.

It kind of a reset button on your butt i kind of really the thought of just laying on a table while someone looks at my butthole is just so disturbing to me you're gonna have to do it anyway when you get a prostate exam i've had a prostate exam they don't like diagnose your they don't like open your butt cheeks and look in there they just like i don't think the bleacher the bleach doctor has got to look looking in they're not spreading your cheeks. I don't think

I think there's only two people in the world that have seen my butt. I think it's my parents. My goal is for no one to ever see my butthole the rest of my life. I agree.

Nobody should ever have to see another man's butthole for the rest of their lives. Unless you're into that kind of thing which is fine. If you're into it

that's fine. But like I have no desire to ever have anybody ever see that. It's just it's not attractive. I wouldn't be're into it, that's fine. But like, I have no desire to ever have anybody ever see that. It's just, it's not attractive. I wouldn't be able to look you in the eyes.

Well, it's not now because it's unbleached. True. What if you have like a... So if I bleach my butthole, we're square? No. Yeah, but you have to...

What do you mean no? That's what the buyout is. We get to go in with you. Obviously, we're not going to video, but we do get to hold hands with you. What do you mean no? Well, we'd have to negotiate this. There's still a negotiation that needs to take place.

Company pays for it. A hundred bucks, right? How much is it? I'm not sure. I don't know. No, if I do it, then we're square. That's the deal. Dave, out of that list, what would you most like Dylan to do?

Man, personally? What if I wore an oversized Arby's polo out to a bar would that make me all even no personally i would like applebee's i think applebee's fancy like applebee's i think i think from a content perspective exclusively that's good i think the only other one that kind of makes me happy, outside of the karate one, of course, is the piano recital. Because if we could throw a nice little jazz mixer where you're just tickling the ivories within the studio with some chill-ass people, I think it would just be great.

I don't have time to take piano lessons. I don't know. I can't fit that into my schedule. Is there an app that you can do? I don't have a piano. There's absolutely an app. I have to go buy a piano. You do.

Or a keyboard. A grand piano. The company will buy you a synthesizer. You buy me a grand piano? No. Those are expensive. Yeah, we're going to get you one, but it's going to be like a haunted ass one. That's fine.

I don't care. Okay. Do you have a place in your house for a grand piano? Yeah, I have an empty bedroom in my house. Your piano room. It is now my piano room. Why don't you just put all that muscle milk in there so it's not like the focal point of every live stream? Well, more on this later.

More on this later. I'll bleach a butthole if it gets me square. Maybe. We'll talk. We'll talk. Can we talk about the wedding photographer that was all the rage on Twitter last week? Yeah. Uh-huh. He's king.

I'm conflicted about this. I'm not. So if you're not familiar, a wedding photographer was obviously photographing a wedding, and he was denied a break to go have a plate of food and, you know, rest for a second. Denied by who? The wedding planner or the bride and groom? Because that makes a lot of difference here. So this says the couple was looking to save money on a professional photographer and assured them that they didn't mind if the photos weren't perfect. They were on a shoestring budget and I agreed to shoot it for $250, he said, which is nothing for a 10-hour event, and that is true as somebody who has paid for a photographer for a wedding.

On the day of the wedding, he said that they followed the bride to various appointments to take pictures and then shot photos of the ceremony as well as the reception speeches. However, when it came for the food to be served, around two hours before they were meant to finish photographing the wedding, the dog groomer said that they were told they could not stop to eat nor were they saved a seat at the table i started around 11 a.m he said and was due to finish around 7 30 p.m around 5 30 when food is being served and i was told i cannot stop to eat because i need to be the photographer in fact they didn't save me a spot at any table i'm getting tired at this point and kind of regretting doing this for next to nothing it's also unbelievably hot the venue is an old veterans legion and it's like 110 degrees Fahrenheit, and there's no

AC. The one issue I have with this is I don't... He doesn't need a spot at the table. I agree. You should be able to get a little chow here. And so what did this guy do when he was denied? He deleted all the photos and took off. Okay, he's only getting paid $250.

Or he was. I'm sure he had to forfeit that money. This makes it more reasonable to me. Like, this makes me side with him even more. If they're paying him $4,000, which is not unreasonable, I think, for that kind of event for that long, then I'd be like, okay, maybe you should just like do the job,

get out of there. Maybe you could have packed a ham and cheese sandwich or something. But yeah, 250 bucks, he's basically doing them a huge favor.

I just Googled how much a wedding photographer costs. There's thousands of dollars. This is from May 31st, 2021. Wedding photography prices may vary anywhere from a thousand to 10,000. Yeah.

Absolutely. I'm not even going to gonna lie we had a wedding photographer and he he did it for very cheap for us because he's a friend and he also like he didn't really like his job wasn't to like just be going around all night doing it we saved him a spot at the table and he got a very good meal yeah uh bae and i are planning a wedding right now and we inquired with a photographer and so i yeah i know what the rates are that's why i said four grand he's deleting all the photos is that necessary i might have i might have just taken off and maybe kind of held it over their heads and been like yeah maybe if you pay me 500 i can release these photos to you um is it proper etiquette to old to offer a point for yes the wedding planner and the photographer i think so i think that's that's accurate i think

so that's very standard i think so i the only thing that's giving making me hesitate a little bit is that these people were already on a tight budget now this guy did them a solid by doing it for 250 bucks which is crazy um so it's like man i don't know how much extra would that have helped set them back to give this guy one like a plate of food and if they were if they were assholes about it like the way he kind of positions it then then yeah they should have seen this coming but

if you're gonna pay a guy 250 bucks for that for all for that he said he was there for I don't know how many hours seven plus hours or something

that's insane to not even give him a plate of food is just so eight hours it's so disrespectful that it's like yeah okay

you don't get your pictures in like i it's fine what he did was fine i don't think you should i don't think you should have deleted i think he just should have taken the photos hostage until they were like all right dude we're gonna get you a gift certificate for applebee's on a date night maybe an oreo shake Maybe an Oreo shake. I just don't... I think... These people stink, man. Yeah. Yeah.

Give the poor guy some food. He's starving. He's doing you a huge solid by being there. You're kicking him crumbs with 250 bucks. Feed the man. Do you want me to be your official photographer in Cabo? I have that new iPhone. Maybe.

Maybe. I'm just going to be your official photographer in Cabo? I have that new iPhone. Maybe. Maybe. I'm just going to be taking pics of Dave instead. I cannot wait. Dude, Dave's going to get an entire album off just photos I took of him. I owe you a plate. I for sure owe you a plate. By now. Yeah, you should have paid for my Galatoire.

I really should have. Let's go back. I'll go back. Yeah, this is sorry. I don't know. Let's go back. I'll go back. Yeah, this is sorry. I don't know. I'd love, hopefully that there are some other camera phones there and they can crowdsource some pics so they can remember this special day. But that is so sorry. I'm trying to think, like, we definitely fed our photographers.

And then I won't get into why, but our photographer unfollowed us on Instagram months later as we showed support during a certain event, social event. A social uprising of sorts? A social uprising, and this person thought that that was bad, so we got that unfollowed, and that's fine. I'm totally over it, much like the allergies thing that we talked about last week um anyway yeah it's just trash my thinking is that they were like unnecessarily mean disrespectful when they denied him because

it was just like they didn't think about him and like they didn't offer it and he had to that's not a reason to like flip out and delete everything they're probably dicks to him it was definitely it was either them or like one of the parents because if this is their wedding and they're saving money they didn't have a wedding planner they're doing it the what was it a vfw yeah like they probably didn't have a wedding planner so they were probably in direct contact with this guy or maybe it was the maid of honor or something. Somebody was a bitch to this guy. Somebody was a dick.

And that's tough. Hopefully they reevaluate things, come back stronger. You okay? No. You look like you're in pain, dog. I'm in quite a bit of pain. You're in pain. I knew something was up.

The way you were sitting, it was very good posture. I'm po pain, dog. I'm in quite a bit of pain. You're in pain. I knew something was up. The way you were sitting, it was very good posture. Your boy's down bad. You're going to end up with Davis Mills' neck. I don't think my neck's going to extend. What if they had to extend your neck like two vertebrae? What's up with that dude's neck? As someone who doesn't watch a lot of NFL, outside of them boys, if you know what I mean.

Oh, yeah. Why is that dude's neck so long? What's up with that? He's not – Mike Glennon, who was backup for Giants, also has that kind of neck. First team all neck. He's got Gumby vibes. Dude's just all neck. Both of those guys have their own hit show on Nickelodeon.

That's good. Slime cannon and everything. Shorty give me neck until I pass out. Shouts to Bobby Shmurda. Dude, relax. It's a line. Monday morning. We don't need to be talking about getting necked when we pass out.

Brett's here. We got Brett in the building. But before we talk to the Magic Bullet himself, I'm going to tell you guys one thing and one thing only. There's nothing like a great postseason run. Are you guys aware of this? Randy is. We talk in playoff baseball in Chicago.

Yes, we are, because five years ago. Does John Cusack know about this podcast? I don't know. He needs to. He needs to. He absolutely needs to. He's a fan of all things Chicago. Five years ago, the Chicago Cubs had a magical campaign to a World Series championship,

and a 108-year curse was lifted. The new podcast, The Run, relives the 2016 postseason game by game, all the drama on the field and off, plus interviews with players, coaches, and celebrity Cubs fans. The series is not just about baseball, but what it meant for the city of Chicago and why the Cubs have team captivated the nation in the fall of 2016. As somebody who had a lot of friends in Chicago during that time of my life, I was very jealous of the excitement and buzz around that city. I was jealous too.

I was only a few years removed from the Rangers' epic collapse in the World Series. And to see that in Chicago, I was like, oh, that must be nice. Yeah, it must be nice. Yeah. It's a hell of a roster on that team. They were stacked. You've got to think Wrigleyville was just buzzing. Yes.

Probably sold some beers. It features inside stories from GM Theo Epstein, manager Joe Maddon, Game 7 hero David Ross, as well as celebrity Cubs fans and more. It's hosted by Matt Spiegel of Chicago's The Score and Roy Wood Jr. of The Daily Show, who were there for all the games leading up to the epic Game 7. That's The Run from Odyssey and Major League Baseball. Listen and follow on the Odyssey app, Apple Podcasts, Spotify,

or wherever else you get your podcasts. Brett. I wonder if Kerry Wood will listen to that show. If someone made... Grand Prairie Zone, I believe. Wouldn't you want to relive that a little bit if you were on the team or you were tangentially associated with the team? I think I would listen to all the content around it and just relive it.

He had a nasty hook, man. I was wrong. Irving MacArthur. Tommy John surgery. Irving MacArthur, Kerry Wood. Is where he threw like 300 pitches or something. Remember that? No. That's the old deal. It wasn't 300, but they. Gerard Butler.

Damn, was he on that Cubs team too? That's sick. He might have been in the game with Cusack. 175 pitches and a doubleheader. I have a theory that the camera angle inside Wrigley makes the pitch, like it's more directly behind the pitcher and it makes the break look

exaggerated like more so than other stadiums. If you watch Kerrywood pitch shit just looks nastier than everybody else. Maybe he was just that dude.

I think there's something to what I'm saying. SportsCenter did not stop talking about his 20 strikeout game. I remember just being like alright we get it. He was dirty.

Like we get it. Tommy John Dave. Like, we get it. Tommy John, Dave. Yeah, got him. But pivoted to a nice recording career. Until he cheats, does the Sunday Night Football song. Just a lot. Kerry

Wood. Wait, is Carrie Wood, is his middle name under this entire time and I just never realized it? Yeah. He's got some legs on him too. Yeah, he's a beautiful man. Yeah, he's hot.

It's crazy that Tommy John went on to make underwear too. True. Oh, yeah. That's facts. Yeah. Not bad. Interesting. He's got the little pouch.

Sorry. For your... No free free ads for your nards for your shit yeah for your nards dude nards is a great word dude i dropped forget about no i dropped nards in a group text the other day hoping that i could get any love for it and no one gave me anything i love nards i asked my buddies i was like any of you got the nards to come down for the f1 race and no one even responded to me. No one had the Nards. That's why. So at what point did someone drop the R from Nards and just go with Nads?

I guess that's short for gonads. Yeah. Nards. Gonads is a good word. Isn't gonads like an anatomically correct term? Yeah. Really? Yeah.

You have gonads. I'm surprised you didn't know that. Testes. Whole squad Googling gonads right now. It's the glands that produce gametes. The female gonads are the ovaries, and the male gonads are the testes. Very cool, man. If I'm remembering correctly.

I think you are. Wow, that's just right off the dome. Yeah. That's crazy. Freestyle king. Brett, you did something this week that I've only done one time. How many times has a squad done this event? State Fair of Texas.

Every year from probably kindergarten through high school, probably freshman year. It's been about five times. We had a fair day. Always on Texas OU day, though. I never went a different day than that. A number of schools in the area get a day off school and a free ticket to the fair. Oh. Yeah.

Man, they have a big weekend then. Oh, yeah. Did you get some saltwater taffy? Nope. What the fuck? Why not? I didn't even know. I heard like fried foods is a thing.

Saltwater taffy is a big thing there. Anything about saltwater taffy. Dave, tell them, dude. What an idiot. Man, I hate to abandon you on this, but I've never had saltwater taffy at the fair. Wow, you're not living salt life, dude? It's like on the boardwalk, isn't it? Isn't that more like an East Coast?

I don't know. It's a Texas. It's like a Florida. It's a fair thing. Dude, I'm more of just fried whatever. I love saltwater taffy. I do fried saltwater taffy. I'm sure that's delightful. What kind of fried food did you have? Poor Dylan. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You can just talk this way.

I'll know you're... I can still hit you. Yeah. I don't want to be around anymore. So yeah, I did the state fair. Did you win a stuffed animal? Nope. I didn't play any games.

We went on Friday. Shouts to Intern Klein. Did you have a wax beer? Nope. I didn't play any games. We went on Friday. Shouts to Intern Klein. Did you have a wax beer? I'll just let you tell it. I'm sorry. I didn't have a wax beer. Wax cup beer. Yeah, wax beer.

He's been to this thing so many times, he knows the shortcuts and everything. There are no shortcuts. The stadium is in the middle of everything, so you have to walk around that fucker. They serve beer in wax cups. What day did you go? Friday? Friday. What do they serve Red Bull vodka in? Ooh, the day did you go? Friday? Friday. What do they serve?

Red Bull vodka. The calm before the storm, right? Yeah. I'm not a fair guy. I'm not one for theme parts, amusement parts. Listen to your skin, of course. You know, that's fair. Dude, Dylan is so immobile.

Dude, you have no rotation. He's in solidarity with Jack Eichel. He does the same thing. Maybe he has a disc pop. Shouts Eichelman. You're not a Midtown boy, huh? What is Midtown? Or a Midway boy.

Is it the Midway? Don't fairs have a Midway? I don't know, David. Nope. I don't know. The fuck are you talking about, David? Grow up, dude. I don't want to be around anymore.

Grow up, dude. I don't want to be around anymore. There is something about that place that it was actually, it exceeded my expectations. What does it smell like? The State Fair of Texas. It smells like, you know, like around a deep fryer. Fried batter. So it smells like deep fried, like baby powder. Did you eat anything deep fried? Did you eat anything deep fried?

I did. I had a Twinkie. I had an Oreo. I had the Oreo one time. They're known for their corn dogs too. And I had a corn dog. I did. I had the Fletcher's corn dog. I had the real deal corn dog. That was the first thing I got. I can't take Dylan seriously right now

talking to you. He's like looking at you outside of his eyes. He's like. It looks like Dylan's up to something and trying not to look at Brex. He knows he's going to start laughing super hard. Dylan looks like one of the puppets at Chuck E. Cheese that's up there playing in the band. Why were those the creepiest thing of all time? Oh, my gosh.

The eyes blinked. Shit was weird. The lead singer that, wasn't he like the big ass elephant? No, he's a gorilla. Was he a rat? He was a rat. He's a rat. Yeah, a rat.

That's why we got to get him. Was there any party that wanted to go Saturday and go to the game as well? No, not at all. You didn't want to? One day, let alone two hours is more than enough time at this fair. You didn't win a mini basketball? I didn't do any rides. I didn't do any... You didn't shoot the clown's

mouth with the water pistol? No games? They're all raid, Dave. You know this. That's the best part of the fun. As a former carny. Dude, the ring toss? How did you know that? What ride did you operate? I've been around the streets, dude. The Tilt-A-Whirl. Dave would make kids go on there and chew their dips bit and swallow it. Dude.

Put them on the Tilt-A-Whirl. Just covered me in vomit. Yeah. It was tough. Shouts to Bad News Bears. The Sandlot. The scene in Sandlot when they threw up actually made me throw up as a kid. It's a pretty grotesque scene.

Yeah. My parents were having a dinner party, and I was in this other room just watching Sandlot, and I had to walk out and be like, Mom, I threw up. Big Chief. They were doing Big Chief. Oh, man. You can't move. Bad shape.

Yeah. You need to get a massage. You should get that neck fusion thing they always talk about on SportsCenter. Spinal fusion, the tiger stuff. I don't think it's that severe, yeah. It's spinal. It's spinal. I will say this.

Nobody's doing jello shots at the state fair, but your boy did. Why? Were you like, no, I had some coupons left? You don't really say it like that. Coupons, stop. What? You don't really say it like that, right? What?

Coupons? Dude, stop everything you're doing. Did you have a beer or not? I had a lot of beers actually that was what we did that's all we did we didn't do any rides we didn't do any did you go to the car show oh car show was really tight car show is cool yeah we walked to the car show and for it to fall in truck month is really cool right they were they were saying that um randy's so randy's ford bronco but the cool one with the cab or the top off

they pop top on you? yeah they pop top Titty straight up out the Super Duties look great the SR71s did you buy one? the car?

they wouldn't take credit you can't just take it out of the show just drive it out of there? Yeah, it was weird. I pulled out the AmEx. They're like, yeah, we don't do that. You made an offer, and the guy's like, I'm going to have to go in the back and talk to my manager. Dylan's F-150 Lightning was there, the electric one.

Sick. Fuck yeah. Yeah. It was pretty cool. I like the... You had to torque on that thing. I would do the ferry down. I'll say it that way.

I'll put it that way. Okay. One day, three hours max, but I would do the ferry down. Terrible place to be hungover. Did you do the slingshot ride? I didn't do any rides, Dylan. Why didn't you do the zero gravity thing that just spins around? The Gravitron.

The Gravitron? Yeah. I couldn't find it. Saw a big text. Howdy, folks. They do a thing where you have to get coup for every every rod you do and every piece of food yeah it's a process it's annoying coupons are the coupons one of the greatest accepted scams of of our of this era yeah but they didn't get there's no deal to them it's just one dollar equals one

yeah i feel like they've been around for a long time i know but you can't just like, the number of coupons that go home with people and are unused is. What if we recycle them? Weren't you making counterfeit coupons that you were trying to turn in and be like, return them to the state fair? Yeah. It's like, hey. Yeah, selling people on the way in like, hey, I can't use these. You just want to buy them. Pretty cool scene though.

I was struck by how many food options there are. Yeah. It's not just like, there's not just one tent. It was everywhere you walked. One year I went, I actually had my first ever corn dog at the Texas State Fair. I'd only had mini corn dogs up to that point in my life. Never actually won on a stick. Who are you?

But I got really full, and I started turning a corner around the stadium. I saw all these other food vendors, and I was devastated. I couldn't eat more. Yep. I did the Fletcher's corn dog. I did the – Klein did the funnel cake. You may be familiar with it.

Oh, I love a funnel cake. I'm an elephant ear guy. The plant? No. The weed? Never had an elephant ear? No. I'm unfamiliar with this as well.

It's like a deep-fried thing. Is it an actual elephant ear that they deep-fry? Do you give it to your dog? Did you eat inside of the big food area inside or did you eat out? No, we did go to the bathroom inside that big food area and it was... A little overwhelming. It's overwhelming.

A lot of options. Okay, elephant ears are very similar to a classic funnel cake. It's one of those areas, Dave, that, you know, the COVID meme where the COVID's like rubbing his hands together. Funnel cakes are incredible and they smell so good. Yeah, it's a god-tier smell.

It is. We did pretty well, though. We didn't, like, I wasn't full walking out of the State Fair. I thought powdered suge. You should make a funnel cake, Brett, with your proprietary funnel. Funnel. One N. Right. One N. I most certainly could.

Fair was good, though. We went to the Petty Zoo, saw the zebras. Stop saying things weirdly. That's how David Attenborough says it, which means it's right. That's fair. Who the fuck is David Attenborough? Don't say who the fuck is David Attenborough. If Brett was going to have one point to make after that, that was the point to make.

He came ready. He narrates all the shit all the like the planet earth oh that's actually a fair point then yeah the zebras they didn't have the mini horse did they no they actually donkeys dude the mini horse was like depressing yeah it's like they are they are trained out of their brains dave yeah uh i'm clear i couldn't i couldn't identify dude d. Dave, was there a dart in their neck? Do you even know what a mule is? No, Dylan.

I mean, I know it's like a horse hybrid, right? It's a half horse, half donkey. And they can't breed? Also, yeah, they're infertile. Yeah. Okay, I knew that. Is it a dorse? Sorry?

What's it called? It's called a mule, David. Oh. Is that the one that attacked you? No. Those are just straight up horses. Yeah, they had horses. They had ostriches. They had emu. We got

one of those. Those things are modern day raptors. Don't tangle with one of those. No, no, no. You don't want to catch the talon. Yeah, Paddington Zoo was cool. They hit you with that talon. It's over. I was watching some Laguna Beach all weekend, too. Should have said that this weekend and fun. Shots of talon. this weekend of fun shots of talon shut up that's the talon and then i spent all day at uh concrete cowboy

on saturday wow is that where you watch the big games no we watched the some big games at uh shots to scruffy duffies of frisco fan of course and concrete cowboy concrete and frisco the frisco concrete yeah come that's sick man better not have been any players in there they had a game Of course. And Concrete Cowboy. Concrete and Frisco. The Frisco Concrete, yeah. Come. That's sick, man. Better not have been any players in there. They had a game the next day. Demarcus Lawrence was in there.

Was he really? Yeah. He looked like 45, though, and he was wearing cargo shorts. Same. And he wasn't black. So it's kind of weird that he wore his jersey to Concrete Cowboy. Who are we talking about? Okay. I get it.

I get what you're doing now. Some guy had a jersey on, Dave. Yeah. It wasn't actually. I mean, I know he's hurt, and he didn't play, but. Okay. He was sitting with Zeke. Okay.

Brett, do you have any breaking news for us today? No, that was my breaking news. That you went to the Texas State Fair? I went to the Texas State Fair, and I drove down 35. I made it. Frisco to Austin, sub three. That's beautiful. You'd love to see that.

That's pretty solid. That's pretty impressive, honestly. Frisco is not close. Yeah. The DNT, the Dallas North Tollway, Will? Sometimes track can be so bad up there that there's just a straight-up panic at the Frisco. Did you go to panic? Did you end up going with a backer?

I did. No, I went alone. I went alone. I had some backers reach out to me about them going Saturday night and not Friday night. So I kind of missed the train on that one. Dude said panic at the Frisco. Yeah. You do shrimps?

No. No. I drank too many whiskey sodas. You smoked mid. I didn't smoke any mid. If somebody would have offered me mid, I probably would have smoked it, though. You probably bought it for like $90. Yeah. He smoked mid. I didn't smoke any mid. If somebody would have offered me mid, I probably would have smoked it though. You probably bought it for like 90 bucks.

Yeah, I saw it was hilarious. What I learned is that if you, the security there, I never even showed my ticket to get into the show. Literally never even showed my ticket to anybody. Security entails you just taking everything out of your pockets and holding your arms up. I'm pretty sure you could have a full bong in your hand

holding it up as long as it doesn't register anything on the handheld metal detectors. Because there were just dudes. The security guard was talking to a dude about what kind of vape pen he had in his hand. He was like, oh, that's a good one. I was like, okay, can I just go into the show, please? It's very cool.

Can we get out of here? I think it's time. Why'd you say it like LC? Because I don't feel good right now. No, dude, we're styling. I feel like we're 20 minutes in. Your boy's about to go to the bathroom. Yeah, I'm about to pee my pants.

Go see Dr. Bob. Yeah. We can't have this. We can't have this. No, but the unintentional humor of watching Dylan just try to talk to Brett without moving is great. I've slept, like, weirdly before, and I've had, like, cricks in my neck. Nothing like this. This is the most pain.

It's off. It's truly terrible. Maybe you need to upgrade your bed. Randy's got a guy. Were you sleeping like the gimp in Pulp Fiction? I don't know how I was sleeping because I was unconscious. Okay. It is hard to know how you're sleeping when you're sleeping.

Yeah. It'd be like that. It do be like that sometimes. Like the gimp in Pulp Fiction. Wake his ass up. What a weird scene that was. Good grief. You know, Christopher Walken was in that movie.

I know. I kind of resurrected my career. I know. I kind of resurrected my career. This puts out major Dave practices Christopher Walken on the way back from Frankston, Texas vibe. No. That's a bit of a drive. What do you think he would have ordered at the state fair? Oh.

They've got good corn dogs. Let's keep going. With mustard. No, Christopher Walken Holding a conversation with Brett Who's directly next to him And he has to talk to him Like a normal conversation would go Like facing him?

Yeah, yeah, just go ahead So Brett, you say something to Christopher Walken What would you like at the fair, sir? Okay Oh, they have the good funnel cake No, well He's Italian Yes

We don't have that here, sir What? We do Yeah, this is. We don't have that here, sir. What? We do. Yeah, this is the fried Oreo. I come here every year. You guys have the funnel cake. It's literally 30 feet to your left.

This way? Okay, got to get out of here. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.