Circling Back - Drinking Turbo Guinness In My Christmas Sweater
Episode Date: November 20, 2024The boys discuss Dillon's second time becoming a hero after finding a flipped vehicle on the road, Washed Media's Christmas sweater ideas that didn't make it, the Turbo Guinness, Jaguar's terrible r...ebrand, and This Weekend in Fun. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop     •    (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter   •    (18:40) Dillon is a Hero x2   •    (33:33) Christmas Sweaters that Didn't Make It   •    (51:36) The Turbo Guinness   •    (1:01:30) The Jaguar Rebrand     •    (1:07:45) This Weekend in Fun Support This Episode’s Sponsors:   •   Earlybird CBD: Get 20% OFF your first purchase with promo code CB20 at https://earlybirdcbd.com/ If you’ve purchased before, these codes are brand new so go load up the cart.   •   Mugsy: First time customers can get 20% BACK on their first order right now. All you need to do is head to https://mugsy.com/ and enter your email your and the discount is automatically added to your cart.   •   Twillory: Use code WASHED18 for $18 off your first order of $139 or more at https://twillory.com/   •  SPRKL: Use code STEAM for 20% OFF your order at SPRKLWIPES.COM Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Transcript
Discussion (0)
All right, we're back.
Circling Back podcast.
My name is Will in the studio with me today.
David C. Ruff. Hello, Will.
I've got a little bit of blowback
regarding the
coffee I'm drinking. It's
it's like my
fourth cup of the day, fourth cup of the morning and
I felt a little weird about it, but then I remembered I'm just a chill guy, so
and uh I felt a little weird about it but then I remembered
I'm just a chill guy. So,
deal with it. It's the McCafe
hitting today. It tastes like
it always does. It's not your
fourth cup of bean ball. Yes,
it is. Four cups of bean ball.
That's too much coffee, Dave.
I'm a chill guy. So, Brett,
Brett had a hankering this
morning. Said he gets it once
a year. He won a McDonald's breakfast. So, he hit the squad up.
Yes. Dave's the only person to get a
coffee. Yeah. I always hesitate to
order liquid when someone's picking up
for me. I had that thought. I didn't
want to be that guy. Okay. I had that
thought but at the end of the day, I
remembered I'm a chill guy. You are the
chill guy. What's, okay, fill me in. I need some context here about the chill guy. You're not going to get it. What? You're not getting any context remembered I'm a chill guy. You are the chill guy. What's okay, fill me in. I need some
context here about the chill guy. You're not going to get it. What? You're not getting any context.
I'm just speaking from the heart. We got Dylan Shivery. He just got a haircut and immediately
put his hat back on. I told you man, my the first week after my cut, it doesn't look right. There's
a my my haircut really hits one week after my cut.
I just think you're overthinking it.
Yeah.
That's a long time to have your hair not look right.
I know.
It doesn't look terrible.
It's prime one week after my cut.
So I time it that way.
You and prime have very different haircuts.
That's true. He's got a great white beard
that I'm pretty jealous of.
Should I not be plucking the whites out of my beard
like I have them?
You pluck?
You've told me before you're envious of my grays
and my limited facial hair.
I know, I know.
To do as I say, not as I do.
I just, I've been plucking them out.
Someone said that if you pluck it out, four more grow back.
That's an old wives tale, it's not true.
Can I share? It wasn't my wife who told me that old wives tale, it's not true. Can I share?
It wasn't my wife who told me that.
You have a problem with older wives?
Can I share Dylan's?
Age ain't nothing but a number.
Cute dad anecdote of the week.
Dylan Shivery.
So, got a text this morning from Parks' mother,
Dallas is her name.
She said, I got something to tell you.
She showed me a screenshot from a text
from one of his friend's
mother's. So little is his friend is a girl. She lives about a quarter of a mile from the
school. They're big buds. They hang out after school a lot. Big friends. She has asked for
parks to be dropped off each day at their house before school so they can walk to school together.
That's a chill sitch.
How cute is that?
It's pretty cute.
It's mega cute.
Why wouldn't you just get dropped off at school though?
Because they wanna walk together.
They're friends, they're buds.
I hated walking to school.
I think he might have a little crush on her, but.
Is he getting friends on?
I think he might have a crush on her, dude.
No, I don't think so.
Okay, just making sure. I don't think so thank you. Cute scene. I wanted to share proud dad moment
Got some cute shit going on and they should rollerblade together
Then you got a storm at school. We got thrown over your shoulder or something. I don't know how it works
But do you want a blade or not? I don't want to blade. No, is he ever bladed? He's never bladed
Have you ever seen the movie Brink? No, all time decom.
Is it about Cameron? No. Then I don't want to watch it. It's not
dude named Brink. I mean, I don't know what's your problem.
Well, her name is Brink. It's kind of a red flag to host a
podcast with a dude that's never seen Brink. You ever seen Johnny
Tsunami? No. What the fuck, dude? That's not my. That's crazy.
That's not my wheelhouse. I think you know it also
He's just like a skater today. Johnny tsunami is not your wheelhouse. So you don't like you don't like mountain vibes in Vermont
Yeah, you don't want to run that one. Yeah, you you're you're built to be a sky, dude. Oh
I'm just like a skater. I have a flannel. No, this is it's giving skater. Yeah, you look like you're a real bro from Simi Valley
Yeah, you look like you're a real bro from Simi Valley. Yeah.
Oh yeah, okay, I'll take that.
The backwards hat's not helping the situation.
I know, I know.
Let's see what it looks like.
Show the people.
I'd rather not.
You just don't have hat hair.
It's like a double wamp.
The hat, shut the fuck up.
Matt's down the right way.
Show us your scalp.
No, no, no, I need a fluff to look decent.
No, show us your hat.
Come on, dude.
Unveil the haircut.
Let me get it fluffed a little bit.
Oh, fuck, you need a week.
I know, I need a week.
Damn, you kind of have cop vibes
when you take the hat off.
It's a real thing, guys.
Are you a cop?
I think you know I'm not a cop.
I work with you.
I can see you being undercover.
I see exactly what an undercover cop would say.
I see you every day.
You know you have to tell us.
It'd be a long con if I was.
Do they have to tell you?
Yeah, if you ask them. Is that a thing? No. I don't think they actually have to tell us. It'd be a long con if I was- Do they have to tell you? Yeah, if you ask them.
Is that a thing?
No. I don't think they actually have to tell you.
I thought that was how you identified undercover cops-
No, that's an old life tale.
... like underage bars.
No, your older wife told you that?
That would literally defeat the purpose of undercover cops.
You got me.
I think you guys might be wrong on this.
Nah, no. Dave's a lawyer.
Okay. I'm going to look this up.
Yeah, please do.
I mean, if I was infiltrating a biker gang
and one of the biker gang guys said,
hey, are you a cop?
I'd be like, fuck no.
I typed in do undercover and it auto filled,
cops have to identify themselves.
Let's click on that.
Let's see.
No, undercover cops generally do not have to identify
themselves when asked.
Okay, Dave was right.
Lawyer Dave was actually, he studied.
He didn't skip this chapter.
Yeah.
Very cool.
Sorry for checking you.
Like someone checked, you checked Randy yesterday
on the game show.
Were you gonna make this about me now?
Randy, did you feel offended when that happened?
Little bit.
See?
How many times would it take?
If Dylan was at a music festival,
how many times would it take for him to go up
to a group of people and ask for like drugs?
Like how many times would it take before someone said like,
are you a cop?
I don't think it would take that many times.
How do you know how to ask?
What's the code word when you ask for drugs
from someone at a music festival?
You got any dank?
Yeah, you got any?
People are, people doing coke at music festivals. I'm sure so. But, but it's not like it's like not top two. Hey, Will
I'm compliment what I like that shirt. Thank you. Thank you. It's a good-looking shirt. It's new
It's from our you can see it's new by the creases on the sleeves. Can I pull that off you think I don't know
You can pull it off me playboy
From our good friends good friends of the retail therapy podcast our friends over at canoe club
They don't sell any canoes, which is crazy. What deceptive? It's from our good friends, good friends of the retail therapy podcast, our friends over at Canoe Club.
They don't sell any canoes, which is crazy.
What?
Deceptive.
There's not even a club you can join to canoe with people.
That's fake.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I also got a, a Japanese robe in my order.
Uh, my wife got home last night from a work trip and walked into our bedroom and saw me chilling in bed,
just straight smoothing in bed.
Right, smoothing.
And she was like, what are you wearing right now?
I said, it's my Japanese robe.
And she was like, okay.
Then I got out of bed
and to go do some late night.
Smoothing?
Kitchen eating.
Okay.
That brie cheese is gone, baby. You weren't late night. Smooth kitchen eating. Okay. That
brie cheese is gone, baby. You
weren't late night balling? No.
It was real eater hours. So, I
went, I entered the kitchen and
she saw me enter the kitchen and
she looked at me and she just
said, you look fucking
ridiculous. You should not be
wearing that. See, it was giving
Winnie the Pooh in his pajamas.
You know what I'm talking about?
Oh yeah. Oh, was it two piece set? No, just a one.
Just a one.
He doesn't wear pants.
He doesn't?
Has Winnie the Pooh ever worn pants?
I'm picturing pajama pants on.
When he went to that black tie wedding, he did.
Did he?
Yeah, he had to.
Oh, the one, the meme one?
No, I think it was like his best friend
from high school's wedding.
He was in the wedding.
It's annoying that if you Google Winnie the Pooh pajamas,
a bunch of Winnie the Pooh themed pajamas come up and not a picture of Winnie the Pooh wearing pajamas. Like, that's not.
And that's soft.
That is not smooth.
Then I just thought about how you would approach a group of cool teens for drugs. Ready? Yeah.
Hey, who got the bag slime?
That that's cop. That's a cop phrase right there.
What to do? Who's got the coke?
I'd probably just say like you guys got a blow or what?
That's no blows.
That's is that outdated?
I think so.
See, I don't know the term anymore.
Not that I ever did.
Who's got that marching powder?
Yo, you guys like to get wet.
That's PCP.
Yeah, I don't know if you should do that.
Don't do that at a music. That's pretty aggressive. What does PCP make you do? That's PCP. Yeah, I don't know if you should do that. Don't do that at a music festival.
That's pretty aggressive. What does PCP make you do?
I've never done PCP.
I think it makes you immune to tasing.
Cool.
So when the cops eventually swarm you,
you got a good four or five minutes longer than you would otherwise.
I think I would just say Coke. You guys got Coke?
I feel like you could slide in some blow.
Okay. Yo, can I slide in some blow. Okay.
Yo, can I slide in some blow?
Yo, what's up?
You guys got anything?
Yo, can I get a little bumper-roosky?
Hey, I'm trying to party.
You guys gonna help me or what?
Hey, I'm really tired.
I had a late night.
Bumper-roosky?
Yeah, don't say that.
No one's ever landed below doing saying that.
Oh, I'm so tired right now.
Do you guys have anything that like you guys got any coffee?
You guys got any nose coffee?
There you go.
Nose coffee is good.
Nose coffee is good.
That's good.
Nose beers was always a fun.
What if we made like a coffee that we dyed white?
And you snort it?
No, you just make coffee with it.
No, you do enema.
Oh, I'm not doing that.
Told you all about the kid in high school
that had a shirt that said,
who needs friends when you have enemas like this?
We were like, I don't think you know what that means.
Yeah.
You got to get a new shirt, my man.
Phrase didn't make a ton of sense.
He did, he ended up relegating it to his gym shirt,
which I appreciated.
I feel like you get away with shit in gym class.
That's a real problem, man, after 35 have.
They lose their friends and they just start doing enemas.
It's not a good substitute for friendship.
What is Trump gonna do to stifle male loneliness?
I guess Trump doesn't have male loneliness anymore
because he just has Elon chilling.
He's surrounded by Lutz.
He's surrounded by Lutz at all times.
He really is.
Elon's got three, maybe four months tops before like,
it's like, all right, you gotta get out of here.
His shine's gonna wear off.
You're fucking in the hole.
Like, I appreciate what you've done for me,
but can you go home?
You're fucking wearing me out.
Is there truth to the notions that he's been calling himself co-president in
meetings with people and Trump is just like, excuse me?
There's no way.
If I was president elect and I had a billionaire next to me calling
himself co-president, I'd be like, you need to fucking slow your roll right now.
I will take away your Starlink government funding.
Is this like a Dwight Michael situation? Assistant to the regional manager. You guys seen that
show? Kids, can I have some Coke?
Remember that old tweet about Trump said about Elon, about how he, if he asked him to get
on his hands and knees and beg him that he would have been that one?
And he did. And he did did now they're best buds. I feel like it's a one-way thing
Oh, yeah, I feel like he's getting smoked here for too long
Like all right, you know, I go back to you don't leaves the room and he looks around he's like this fucking guy
I swear to God. Oh my god. There's definitely a side text annoying guy
Oh, yeah, there's a side text of like oh yeah there's a good side text like crazy there's a
non-elon group that that trump's just cooking it absolutely his best materials always looking at
his phone he's always over laughing at memes who is this doge character i keep hearing about
i know check me out over on Blue Sky.
I made a Blue Sky this weekend.
You did?
Yeah.
I mean, I honestly, the reason I did it was just so I could get my name just in case like
it took off.
Oh, fuck.
But like, I'm not going to lie.
As much as the Twitter feed sucks with a bunch of political stuff that I don't want, I just
want shit posts.
Is it just a lib haven over there?
It's just like I entered in my interests and I tried to enter in things that had nothing to do
with politics because I don't want to scroll politics on my timeline and now I just get a bunch
of... Actually, you might love this fucking app because all I'm getting is like space photos and
stuff. I said I liked nature and like now I'm just only getting nature stuff.
I watched a dope video about the size of the universe yesterday and it's has a lot of real
estate in my brain right now. It's really cool. I might share it with y'all one day.
I don't think they can quantify the size of it.
Yeah, that's the thing. Like it doesn't matter. My human brain can't comprehend it. And yeah,
so why would I watch it? It was this.
Are you sure it as a real documentary, it was this man standing in an
empty swimming pool. It was 50 meters by 25 meters and like, I
don't know, three meters tall, two meters tall. And he said,
he took like little pieces of cereal. I said, this is one
universe. So I'm gonna show you how many I'm sorry, not university galaxy. This is one galaxy. He. So I'm gonna show you how many, I'm sorry, not universe, galaxy, this is one galaxy.
He goes, I'm gonna show you how many galaxies there are
in the observable universe.
And he filled this entire pool and he goes,
okay, these are all galaxies.
One of these, this is the Milky Way.
There are like billions of stars in this Milky Way.
And then he said, and then he pans out
and there's 355 of those pools filled to the brim with
little pieces of cereal.
And those all represent galaxies in the universe.
Is this why cereal is costing so much at the grocery store right now?
I think you're missing the boat a little bit.
It seems like it could have been done in a reel, not a documentary.
Are you just watching documentaries of dudes making big ass bowls of cereal?
It was so fucking cool.
Did they pour milk in? no milk? No, no milk
Okay, was it raw milk?
Again, no milk. It was just cereal like the size of a Cheerio basically represent a galaxy. Oh
Cheerio
Were they honey nut I
Did you guys are kind of missing the exercise here and the point of it.
I would have screwed McDuck to that.
I was a big fan of frosted Cheerios.
Were they frosted Cheerios?
Dude, frosted Cheerios, are they still around?
This conversation just isn't going the way I intended it to.
Dude, that's okay.
I would wait until they got all the cereal out, then I'd get my board and I would just fucking skate that pool.
It wasn't a skatable pool. It had right angles at the bottom. It wasn't smooth. It
wasn't smooth. Sorry. No, there's a way. You get to one end and you have to turn right back around
because you hit a wall, you know. You guys got any blow? I just hit a wall. That's good. Call back. What was this dot called? Sorry,
Will. No, go ahead. What was the dot called, Dylan? Doc us up. While you're doing your thing,
I will find it. Okay. Tomorrow, listener voicemails drop. 888-618-4422, get in, get out,
be tactical. Next week, we'll be doing one free episode on the feed. We'll be doing one Patreon
episode. If we get enough worst of Thanksgiving stories, we're be doing one free episode on the feed. We'll be doing one Patreon episode. If we get enough Worst Of Thanksgiving stories,
we're gonna sprinkle those in with some voicemails.
If you would like to submit a story,
you can either email worstof at washmedia.com
or you can go to washmedia.com
and you can just click on the Worst Of logo
and there's a form right there that you can fill out.
We've gotten a rough number of submissions as of late.
So this is a call to all of you out there.
We love doing worst of episodes.
Maybe our audience is too old at this point
to recount their terrible time,
but Dave is literally SMD-h-ing right now.
He's shaking his damn head right now.
We've got a lot of new listeners.
I know this because when we get a follower from a reel,
a clip of circling back, it'll tell you like,
this guy followed you because of this reel. Real get a follower from a reel, a clip of circling back,
it'll tell you like this guy
followed you because of this
reel. Real talking to you, new
listener. Uh why don't you jump
in? Why don't you jump in and
hit us with the worst of. I know
y'all have had some terrible
night before. Oh yeah.
Thanksgivings. Some of the
biggest blackouts you have are
the night before Thanksgiving. You're back with the boys in the garage,
sitting on a Coleman cooler.
You're all sitting at someone's parents' house
and you're like, how are we gonna get home
from the bar tonight?
And it's like, dude, I don't know.
I think we just figured it out.
You forgot a Bluetooth speaker,
so you get like a bucket and you put your cell phone in it
to call back.
Send us your stories.
Go to youtube.com slash circling back
Subscribe if you want some
new Christmas sweaters, I got some news for you wash media dot shops got those we have a bunch of holiday sweaters up there
We're gonna be adding more today and tomorrow and officially launching them on Thursday
But there's some up right now that you can get and later in this episode. We will be talking about some of the ideas that didn't
Get made right now that you can get. And later in this episode, we will be talking about some of the ideas that didn't get made.
Might need someone to go take a photo of the board before we do that so Randy can put it
on the screen.
I'll have Brett Slack Randy a photo of the board.
That's not good, Randall.
It is Slack it to me, Daddy-o.
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Shout out Justin, shout out early bird.
I might be, I might've been the only guy
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No, I don't think you were. Two? Two is not that crazy.
I didn't know you liked to get wet. It's not that. Oh. It's the other stuff. Yeah, it's pretty tame.
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Dylan, we're in the presence of a hero.
Yes, you are actually.
Hero times two.
But before we get to that, I just shared a link to the
video I was talking about. It's by Epic Space Man. He has over 400k subscribers on YouTube.
And it's called, I Poured All the Galaxies in the Universe into a Pool. It's worth the
15 plus minutes. It's pretty crazy.
Anyway, 15 plus minutes is not a documentary. I didn't use the
word documentary. I believe you guys did. I think you said doc.
I think I said video. Pull the tape. Randy, run that back.
Yeah. Randy, can you pull the tape? I'll pull the tape later.
Email Dylan at washmedia.com if you use the word documentary.
Email him right now. Please do. Anyway. I just
got a text that says yeah Dylan definitely used documentary. Back to my heroics. So on Halloween
of 2017, I can't believe it's already been seven years since I was, I've been a hero for seven
years basically, seven plus. So seven years ago I was driving to go meet up with some friends and Parks and his mother
to do some trick-or-treating and I was on this windy road in northwest Austin and I
was the first one to drive upon a truck that had flipped, was on its side and I had to
cut this man out of his cab. I had to cut the seatbelt. I
didn't cut him. I cut the seatbelt in order to free him from the truck. Crazy.
Was it on fire? It wasn't on fire. But if it was, I probably still would have done
the same thing, David. Was it smocking? It wasn't smocking. Okay. There was no, it
was just the truck was just flipped over and I was a hero that day.
I talked about it. We talked about it on here. Big deal.
It was probably touching base at that point.
It's definitely not on this show.
We didn't exist in 2017.
Fast forward to yesterday morning, Tuesday morning.
I am leaving for work.
I'm driving along this road that is a quiet road. It's a heavy pedestrian road.
No one, it's hard to get over 25 miles per hour on this road. There are typically
cars parked along this road. I'm driving along headed to work and I don't even
notice it at first because like I said there are cars usually parked
along this road and I look to my right and I see that the car next to me
is not parked, it is actually on its side.
There's broken glass around it.
And I'm like, holy shit, this car has flipped over
and there are no emergency vehicles around.
This must've just happened.
I look in my rear, I pull off to the side
and I look at my rear view mirror
and I see some pedestrians sprinting over to this car.
It is a Toyota Prius.
It is on its side.
Okay.
As I get out of the car, I walk up.
I see the guy in the car bust out one of the side windows.
It's like, all right, clearly he's still in here. Let's see what's going on.
He's probably relieved to see what's going on. This guy.
He was probably relieved to see a cop show up.
Yeah, walk up to the car and as I'm getting there,
like I said, another pedestrian is arriving
at the same time.
The man is okay.
He, his arm is a little banged up.
He's holding it.
It's hurting him a little bit, but otherwise he's okay.
He's clearly shaken.
He's breathing heavily. Adrenaline was pumping. And I'm wondering
how on a road that you drive so slowly on can you flip a vehicle? There's no
there's no speed in that area of town. No you can't speed on this. Can't do much
giddy up. What street is it? I don't want to say because it's right by where I
live and I don't want to give away my my right by where I live and I don't want to give away
my my residence.
What's your what's your unit number in your building?
I forgot the name of the street doesn't add anything to the story.
I'm asking for myself just so I can paint a picture a Robert Frost poem in my head.
It's close to the P. Terry's that is on South Omar.
Okay.
Ah, what do you think of the new chicken bites there?
They're okay.
They're okay.
They're okay.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm not going to go there just for the chicken.
They're not, they're not.
Rose didn't like them.
Pretty bad.
Yeah. I don't think they're, they're not for kids.
They're, they're just okay.
I thought they were bad.
Like bad or like bad?
Not bad as in like they're just, they tasted rubbery.
They've, so they've, they've since remedied that a little
bit and I think they've changed something about them
because that was my first take as well.
And now they've gotten a little more crispy.
Okay. Cause I got them the first week they came out.
So I did the same thing.
I think I got them release day.
So the first question that the other pedestrian asked this
guy is how did this happen?
Which I thought was a pretty appropriate thing to ask on a
road that you go so slowly on. He goes, I don't know. I was looking down and before
I knew it I was up on the side of this little embankment and in the picture I
posted you can see there's a little there's a steep but small embankment
right next to the road. So he just went over the curb and his wheels just went
up and tipped over. You think he was pissing in a bottle?
I think more likely he was on his phone. I looked down and his phone is on the ground. It was hanging by the charging cable. The aux? That's pretty dope that it was still connected. So yeah,
so I reached down like, hey man, here's your phone.
I pull it up.
I don't pull it up, but as I pick it up,
the screen lights up and he just has some text messages
that are popping.
The dude was clearly on his phone.
I mean, nothing else makes sense here.
He was probably talking to his fantasy league
about a Monday night football game.
Just absolutely mobbing on the way to work.
I don't know what was going on,
but the dude was on his phone
and hopefully he learned a lesson.
That's the lesson for everyone out here.
Don't text and drive.
I mean, that's coming from a guy who loves texting and driving.
If you're going to do it, do it on top of your steering wheel.
Exactly.
Yes, you can at least see the road.
Do you feel like there might be something going on in your life
where you would just have a car?
Because you've had two flip cars, you've had the Luby situation.
Yeah, I don't know. The day that you got a new car,
you had someone rear end you.
Like I feel like you had a bunch of Mustangs
going after you.
The positive here though is in all these incidents,
nothing, no one's gotten hurt.
This guy had a banged up arm, like I said,
he walked away.
That feels like more of a message to you
than it does like someone trying to kill you.
Is the universe sending you messages to stop texting and driving?
Or maybe just stop driving altogether. I don't do it anymore.
You are getting to the age where we might need to take the keys away.
I'm 41, man.
You think Biden still drives?
No.
No, why would he drive?
I don't know.
Queen Elizabeth drove like old ass.
Hello. Ain't no way that dude's driving. I'm the queen. No, no, why would he drive? Oh Queen Elizabeth drove like old ass
So we're like do you need help out of this car goes yes, but I need a minute because he was shook He had his pants back up. He wanted to get pissing. He wanted to get a selfie upside down. Yo
He was like man, I'm so embarrassed like I was driving to my job. I got to call my boss
I was like, it's fine.
Amen.
This stuff is fixable.
You're okay.
That's what's important here.
I was trying to pep him up.
You think there's a chance he was ghost riding it?
He was in the vehicle.
So no.
Well, yeah, he jumped in when he saw things
getting a little hairy.
Yeah.
He decided to try to figure it out.
So this other man, this pedestrian,
and we helped this gentleman up through the
driver's side window. Because yeah, no passenger side window
of his car. And he, we help him out. And, and that was that. So
the ambulance has to show up. There was another another woman
had walked up to that point, she said, I'm going to call the
police. And she was like, Do you need ambulance? And I was like, if you if you say a car she said I'm gonna call the police and she was like do you need ambulance and I was
Like if you if you say a car slip, they're gonna send the whole squats comments
He miles would just get on the horn and call him had it I've been there
Not only would it have gone down a little differently, but here's how it would have gone down
I would have assembled a team
Because it would have been really fun to like push the car back over. Yeah, dude. Yes, have you were Prius too?
That's like not a heavy. Oh, it's doable. Yeah. Dude, yes. A Prius too, that's like not a heavy car.
Oh, it's doable.
Yeah.
Have you ever tried to move a car?
Yeah, there's a guy in high school
who used to move his car to different parking spaces.
No, we had a party one time
and this person tried to leave the party.
I think she had been drinking
and decided that she was gonna just do
the worst backup job of all time
and she backed into a garden.
And so we were like, all right,
we all came back to the house hammered and we were like, all right, we all came back to the house hammered
and we were like, all right,
we gotta figure out how to move this car.
We didn't have the keys to it
so we couldn't pull it forward.
We also didn't wanna mess anything up.
So three of us were like, all right,
we're gonna move this fucking car.
We did not move it an inch.
At no point did it even get close
to coming off the ground.
In high school, my sister drove a Jeep Wrangler.
They're cleaning the cleaning window.
Okay.
It sounds like they're throwing basketballs at the window right now.
We got an email yesterday.
They're cleaning one fucking wall ball.
Seriously.
My sister drove a Jeep Wrangler in high school and she had the top off of it during like
the warmer months.
I usually take the top off the defense.
Shut up.
And it was it was a stick shift so you could easily hop in and put the car in neutral.
Her friends would move it to the other side of the school like almost every other day.
That shit's hilarious.
It was so funny.
That's funny.
She got annoyed after a while but it was a really funny prank.
I thought I got my car stolen at HEB one time because they have three levels of parking there
and I parked on the bottom level and when I took the elevator down I went to the second level not
thinking about it and I was positive that like it was just gone.
Yeah.
Like I'm done.
Someone just stole my car.
Yeah.
It's not that funny.
What, the clanks?
Clank squad.
It doesn't sound like,
I don't know if the people at home can hear it,
but it just sounds like they're just beating on the windows.
Not like they're like streaking them.
That just sounds like they're like hammering.
It sounds like a thousand birds
are flying head first into the window.
And they're all dying.
Don't bring that up around, right?
Yeah.
Why would you do that?
Anyway.
It's all that window bird attractor spray
that you put on there.
Read my article.
Anyway, that's my story.
You think homie might've been throwed to the game?
Drunk drove the whip?
It was about 9.20 a.m and he was said he was on his way.
So he's got a real problem.
Now he didn't seem drunk.
Okay.
Seemed like he was distracted by his phone.
Maybe he'd been up at like a late night poker game
where he'd been drinking heavily.
Maybe he was up late night balling.
Maybe he was leaving his boys living room.
Left the 48 other guys there.
Yeah, maybe so.
Maybe so.
He had gone to a dinner the night before
with eight other men and had gone really well.
And the conversation was so intense
that he just forgot to go home and go to bed.
So he was tired driving into work
and he just rolled that bit.
It annoys me that the eight great men dinner or however many great men dinner, it annoys
me that they re-edited the real to not have the guy drinking a beer in it.
It was a 0% alcohol corona.
Only a trained eye would pick that up.
Real drinkers know.
Real drinkers know that that's not a real drink. I'm not opposed to doing a 0. Yeah. Real drinkers know.
Yeah. Real drinkers know that
that's not a real drink. I'm
not opposed to doing a 0.0
Guinness at this point. We got
some in the fridge for a while.
Do we? Not anymore. I don't. I
like the zero point. It's a
little sweeter but overall,
it's pretty decent. You know,
if you get one of those 0.0
Guinness and you chug it, you
drink it fast enough, you can
get drunk. Really? Your body
will like, it'll hit it so fast that your your body will be like, oh fuck, this must be
alcohol and before it realizes it, you feel the effects. It
only lasts for like three and a half minutes but there's a
little window there where it's like, oh bro, I chugged a beer
and then your body's like, no, there's no alcohol. We just
we just tested it. We had a girl one time bring a bottle of
non-alcoholic wine to a party and she didn't look like she
was having very much fun.
I said something and she was like, yeah, I don't know.
It's not, I feel like everyone's hammered and I'm not.
And I was like, I like that you're not like doing placebo effect right now.
I respect this about you.
Yeah.
I had to point out to her, uh, yeah, the wine you're drinking has no alcohol in it.
It's grape juice.
Congratulations.
You do have to drink to have fun.
Grape juice.
Did she bring Welchers?
Like sparkly grape juice? No credit to her, it looked very legitimate.
And I was like, what are you, like what's going on?
Like she's like, yeah, I've drank most of this bottle of wine.
I don't feel anything.
Don't those beers still have like traces of alcohol in them?
I don't know.
Like if you drink like 10,000 of them, you'd feel something.
I think like Odools might,
but I can't speak to like the 0.0 Guinness.
It's really hard to say. Sometimes you just want to have a creamer though, you know? Pint de Plaine, I can't speak to like the 0.0 Guinness. It's really hard to say.
Sometimes you just want to have a creamer though, you know?
Pint a plane, I just like the ritual, you know?
I hear you.
I want to split the G.
I'm devastated that there's a Kelly's Irish pub
get together next week when I'm out of town.
I'll be there.
Barrett never confirmed.
I think he found out it was just me and Dylan.
He's like, ah.
No, he's got other lutes he's going to invite.
Not just you guys. Was it Brad K also on the text in that text group. I
Don't know was was Brad key in that bish. I don't think he was in that bish. Maybe not. Yeah, I imagined it
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Boom.
So we talked earlier about how we've got some Christmas sweaters out on the website,
washmedia.shop. And I thought it would make sense to put up our brainstorm board and maybe
talk out some of the ideas that got left on the cutting room floor. I will say that Washed Media,
we don't have that many meetings, but when we do have the Christmas sweater meeting,
it's probably the most fun meeting of the year for some reason.
The creativity really shines through when we have these meetings.
Randy, can you just zoom in on the top half of the board and we can start there?
We want to start with Randy's hot to go idea.
I hate this one.
So this grew on me.
Yeah, and sauce liked it. There's something here.
Yeah, but don't the listeners hate sauce? I think he was giving you a pity compliment on that
Yeah, no, he was like it was I'm sorry hot to goes in the site
Let me just say sauce would not sauce would not give Randy a compliment a pity compliment. Yeah, that's fair
No, it's not brandy it I
Freaked with the vision. I understand the vision.
Randy made one of the ugliest initial designs
that I've ever seen in my entire life.
No, that's not what happened.
The hot to go one?
What happened was I was like one or two minutes
into my design process and Will came over
and said, that looks like shit.
I'm like, yeah, I just started.
See, that's why I don't like screen lookers, dude.
Yeah.
You start getting judgments before you're ready to unveil.
It's fucked up.
Well, the first three ideas were hot to go,
Zen and eight ball.
I don't know.
I don't even know what the eight ball,
was the eight ball just eight snowballs?
No, I think it was more along the lines of-
Santa doing cocaine?
Santa or maybe a reindeer just doing blow.
A good number of our ideas have been like some kind of fucked up Santa or maybe a reindeer just doing blow a good number of our ideas have been like
Some kind of fucked up Santa or reindeer like they've done too much drinking or drugs
I would have liked to see what woke Rudolph would have looked like I think it was just Rudolph of the blue nose
Like an eyebrow piercing right was very big into woke He was, you can ask him what woke Rudolph.
I hate that idea.
I don't even remember that.
I hate it.
Woke Rudolph.
We never actually, we had an absolute boys reindeer idea
that was just gonna be reindeer being absolute boys,
but I don't think we ever got the ball across the goal line
in terms of design concepts for that.
Santa roadies has legs, I think.
Just him cash and beers.
Yeah.
It would be kind of good to have him with like his Santa sack
and then it's just clearly filled with a bunch of empty cans.
He's crashing in trees and shit.
Here's the thing though.
Yeah, he is getting pulled and he is the sleigh driver.
He's not doing any of the heavy lifting there.
Are you advocating for him drinking behind the reins?
I'm saying it doesn't matter.
You could put any of us back there. The reindeer is there. They know where to go. You think so? Yeah
He's got a pool in those rains though. I've got a direct on it's not like they're they're smart enough to like feel sadness
Cuz their nose is fucking red. It's like riding a horse
Could you ride a horse drunk and it'd be like as safe as if you were sober?
It's not like riding a horse. You got how many reindeer 12?
I'm just saying the horse.
You got a squad that's looking out for you.
The horse can use its brain to like,
hey man, let's maybe let's not drive off this.
Like this is a one way.
Let's not go down this road.
Yeah, but if I'm in the back of my buddy's Tahoe,
cashing beers in the third row, it's fine.
I'm not, I'm not affecting anything on that.
He's just deleting beers in the back of the Tahoe. But you have no control over the Tahoe. I'm not affecting anything on that drive. He's just deleting beers in the back of the Tahoe.
But you have no control over the Tahoe.
I'm confused. Horses understand the concept of one-way streets?
No, that's not a good example. You know what I'm saying?
Yes, I agree. Here's a cliff here.
Let's not drive off or run off of it.
Okay, but the reindeer-
It's not put two wheels on the side and flip it.
The reindeer are capable of making fun of Rudolph and being clickish and standoffish.
I feel like they could guide the sleigh perfectly fine.
They may miss a house or two.
They may go to the wrong house.
Sounds like magic abilities.
Like they're, these are not your grandma's reindeer.
So there you go.
So I can say-
My grandma doesn't have any reindeer.
My grandma got ran over by a reindeer.
Oh, I'm sorry dude.
I'm sorry dude.
Did Dylan help?
Nope.
One of the ideas was Mudang's little fat ass getting stuck in a chimney. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, dude. I'm sorry, dude. Did Dylan help? Nope.
One of the ideas was Mudang's little fat ass
getting stuck in a chimney.
Yeah, that was when Mudang was more hot in the streets.
Everyone knows I'm a haggis guy
if we're gonna go with a pigmy hippos.
Right.
I do kind of wish we would have done Santa and reindeer
doing the handshake meme.
Okay. I don't know how you could do, Dap up a reindeer's hoof, but like I just, you just grab it.
Yeah, like you Dylan, you son of a bitch.
I don't even know what movie is that from?
Predator.
Oh, it is?
It's Arnold and Carl Weathers.
Rest in peace, Carl.
From Arrested Development?
Yes. You getting aed Development? Yes.
You getting a stew going?
Also from Happy Gilmore.
That's Karl Weathers?
And Apollo from Rocky, yeah.
Okay.
Did the Rudolph, he not like us one go off?
That is zeitgeist, like very, very late, late, late zeitgeist.
But do you get it?
It's Rudolph and he's not like the other reindeer.
He's different.
Yeah.
And it's like the Kendrick Lamar song.
It felt like bullying.
That's why we decided against it that
and it was a really, really hair-brained idea.
Yeah.
Scroll down, Randy.
Absolute Toys was not the worst. My absolute toys. My absolute toys. I'm chilling with my absolute toys.
Assassination Snowball got made. What's that? Polarizing. Polarizing.
Y'all made that one when I wasn't there. So I don't know. I got nothing to do. That was all y'all.
I love the Santa Rudolph sweater idea.
I mean, I'm a liberal cock and I was okay with the assassination snowball sweater.
Yeah, that shouldn't be offensive.
Like it's zeitgeist.
Only person who died in that situation
was the guy with the rifle.
Yeah, that's not true.
Yeah.
Oh yeah, someone from the, I'm sorry.
Someone from the crowd did die.
If it would have gone my way,
I would have actually had the snowball going over everyone's head in this in the sweater, but that got vetoed
We're just making a play on an iconic photo. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What is dear secrets?
service
That's a that's a bullet point underneath assassination. So the dear secret service was the reason that I thought it was funny
Yeah, whenever that got thrown out. I was like, okay a bunch of secret service was the reason that I thought it was funny.
Whenever that got thrown out, I was like,
okay, a bunch of secret service agent deer
is actually hilarious.
With aviators on or whatever they're, yeah, that's great.
Yeah, we pretty much just, if we laugh
when it gets thrown up there or when somebody puts it out,
it's getting written on the board.
Yeah, there's no bad ideas.
I'm not surprised that Santa two glasses of milk
did not get made. Two glasses of milk. two glasses of milk did not get made.
Two glasses of milk.
Two glasses of milk, please.
He could have been double fisting though.
Okay, the real eater sweater with Santa just eating cookies.
Is real eater like enough of a term that people would get it?
It's not not within the confines of this room.
Not quite Geisty enough.
Okay, what if it was just Santa eating the cookie
over the sink?
Goblin mode Santa?
Yeah, something there.
Did we do Zen outline in the pocket?
No.
Or was that just that we did the Zen,
how the Zen stole Christmas?
I do think the outline of the Zen in the pocket while he's like, you know
Maybe bending over in front of a tree dropping presents would have been funny but tough to pull off
I think I just don't know if it's gonna do numbers get the point across a better graphic than it is a ugly
Christmas sweater. I just thought of one what
What if Santa's stuck in the fireplace
What if Santa's stuck in the fireplace?
It says, help me step.
Alf, I'm stuck. And someone's trying to unstick him?
Correct.
Maybe his little pants are getting pulled down or something?
I mean, I don't know if we would put that on there,
but you understand.
You understand, that's zeitgeist.
Were you here yesterday for my Matt Gaetz
stuck in the chimney idea?
No.
It's too niche. But it was going to say you're always 17 in your hometown.
Oh, I did.
And it was going to be Matt Gaetz stuck in the chimney.
I did hear that one. Yeah. I'm not sure that one worked.
Cross Canadian.
Super well.
Yeah. I don't really want to make Matt Gaetz merch.
Ray Gunn dancing Charlie Brown style.
That's a good idea.
I don't remember this one. That's a good idea. I don't remember this one.
That's a good idea.
That was my idea.
It would be Charlie Brown going like this.
I thought it was good.
Was that a thriller move that she was doing?
I think it might've been.
I wish she didn't retire.
She should do, if she's not doing like traveling, like
performances in Australia, she's missing out on a great opportunity.
Was she shamed into retiring? Yeah. she could do the halftime show circuit.
That would actually be hilarious if Kendrick Lamar brought her out for the Super Bowl halftime show and just had her dancing on stage.
That would break the Internet. That would freaking break it. That would be a meme moment.
We haven't seen the last of her. No, she's going to be somewhere. She has an only fans. That's not true. I made that up to see
how they would react and they passed the test. So way to go. Well, Randy didn't. Would you rather
see red panda or ray gun at halftime? Red panda is the goat. Red panda is the goat. So I did a red
panda tweet from circling back at one point and I was like, do people know
actually know who red panda is or do I just know this because Mike is obsessed with her
NBA Twitter knows.
Okay.
Okay.
Big, big red panda people.
North pole vaulter.
We're just going to have Santa with a huge crank.
Just so it was a crank play.
Huh?
That was a spread.
That was Brett's.
No, I think that was a random play.
You're the pole vaulter.
I am. I was a hurdler and's. No, I think that was a random play. You're the you're the pole vaulter I am I was a hurdler not a pole vaulter Dave
Can you explain how we were gonna make the Big Daddy mark follow la la la T?
That was my was it just gonna be a selfie see that one was mine
It was just gonna be him like back like just singing. It was just gonna say follow along
It's gonna have music notes around him. You know, he could do a Christmas album. I would listen to it
Oh, wait, you gotta explain the North Pole vault
or one.
I don't know, that was Brett.
I don't think it was.
I think he just was gonna have a pole that like was.
No.
Remember the pole vaulting situation at the Olympics
with the guy with the huge dick?
Was that what it was?
It was just gonna be Santa's crank on it.
So it was a crank play?
Yes.
Okay.
Yeah, it was a crank play.
I will say, we've had some ideas that weren't great.
That's a bad idea.
That one does like that is how would that even, he's just clearing the bar and his hang
down just catches it.
And the whole, the whole, how do you even like marry the North Pole with the pole vaulting?
Yeah, I think you just have it be like a spiral right in red and white spiral.
It was a reach.
He cleared the bar. No, he didn't.
His penis blocked him.
Santa C in NP, I thought was very funny.
It was a Tony P in DC play, but it's Santa C in NP.
Do you get it?
North pole.
I was watching a live stream from Tony P the other day
and he said that the crank reveal comments
do not bother him.
He thinks they're funny. Well, it's like a quarter of his traffic. People the other day and he said that the crank reveal comments do not bother him, he thinks they're funny.
Well, it's like a quarter of his traffic,
people going there just to see about the crank.
Yeah, if you shit on those people,
then you lose a significant portion of your audience.
Although if he said it bothered him,
it might encourage more,
so maybe he should have said it bothered him.
He handled it correctly.
I don't know.
No, he didn't.
For engagement purposes, I would have said,
yeah, guys, please stop.
Oh, that's a good point.
You know what people do.
I would have said, I haven't even seen them,
what are you talking about?
And more people just comment more.
We do have, we have approved for design.
It's being designed by one Ricky Prosper right now.
Mrs. Claus looks absolutely fired tonight.
And it's just Mr. and Mrs. Claus
in the same vein as Jet and Pookie.
I don't know how this is gonna pan out, but you know.
The direction I gave Ricky,
who's our talented graphic designer,
is make her look just very Mrs. Claus.
You don't make her sexy.
You put an apron on her long dress.
She's not gonna be a bad bish?
Yeah, I kinda wanted a sexy ass Mrs. Claus.
Oh, I think it'd be funny if she was just plain old,
like from a children's book, Mrs. Claus.
She could still be slim thick.
She could.
Yeah, they should get Mrs. Claus to do the swimsuit issue.
I got Martha Stewart last year.
Yeah, it's a good get if you can convince her to do it.
It's a good get.
Hey, we did not do like Dylan wanted to do,
he wanted to do a Hawk Tuoh one.
Dylan was like, dude, she's so geisty right now.
We have to do a Hawk Tuoh.
I'm so over Hawk Tuoh.
It's not even funny.
Did you see the tweet about Ellen?
No.
All right, I'll find it.
Let's just talk about the other ones.
Scroll up.
Is there anything that we missed?
There was. Popeye's Elf goes hard. Is Popeye's Elf up on the site? We'll talk about the other ones. Scroll up, is there anything that we missed?
There was. Popeye's Elf goes hard.
Is Popeye's Elf up on the site?
I don't know yet.
Not yet.
I think we're fine tuning it right now.
Okay.
Right now on the site we have how the Zinch
stole Christmas, Snowball Assassination,
I Was Inverted, Brat, come on.
You get it?
Come on, do you get it? It's like the Brat. Come on. You get it?
Come on, do you get it?
It's like the Brat album.
But it's cold.
But it's more ours because it's cold.
Right.
You know, do you get it?
I get it.
Is Pants Milk not on this list?
Pants Milk's on there.
Okay, and then we just have a regular wash one.
Is Pants Milk gonna do numbers or is no one gonna buy it?
Cause no one knows that we're talking about Pants Beers.
I mean, if you're a true, if you're a true backer,
then you'll get, first of all, it looks good aesthetically.
I mean, he's pouring milk into his pants.
He is, he really is.
If you're, if you're a real one, you'll do it.
Although we screwed up on it.
It doesn't, shouldn't pants have an apostrophe?
Yeah, let's have him add an apostrophe to that.
It's your pants milk.
Question for you, where would the apostrophe go
in this context?
Hmm?
Hmm?
Oh, well.
Obviously between the T and the S dude.
There was, so.
Let's move on.
There would be, you're saying there would be a apostrophe?
Cause it doesn't, the beer doesn't belong to the pants.
You're just doing a pants.
I think they're making, I think they're doing jokes, Randy.
I'm just saying.
Yeah.
All right, I wanna make sure.
Randy, never stop asking questions.
I don't know, you guys purposely made the,
well, when you're here, your family,
like purposely made it the wrong yours.
So I don't know, you could do that too.
Tide didn't take any English classes after 10th grade. And it's just
the system failed tide. Okay. If only the wife of Vince McMahon
could fix this. He found a question. Everything found a
home at Wilmonds though. He's doing great. Yeah. Oh yeah.
He's thriving. You guys are Vince McMahon. Familiar with
him. He's unhireable. He doesn't need a job. He's rich. Not a great guy. Randy, I sent
you that tweet. Yes, you put it up. Yeah, I just I this I
looked at this tweet and it just it just hit and it's it's
actually it's funny but it actually just it's a phenomenal
point. It says, this is from
someone on Twitter. It can't read. It's increasingly clear that Ellen DeGeneres
was an environmentally significant apex predator in the media ecosystem. She'd have extracted all
entertainment value from the Hawk to a girl in a three-minute segment and banished her back to
anonymity, maintaining ecological balance. That's absolutely true.
That's a very solid observation.
Just like the damn Daniel kid.
Yeah.
Damn Daniel went on Ellen and was like,
well, no more damn Daniel.
Banished her back to anonymity.
Yeah.
Should have gotten her 50 minutes, we would have moved on.
Yeah.
That's a really interesting way to look at Ellen.
No, she has a podcast.
She's at the Jake Paul, Mike Tyson fight.
Ellen was?
Hawk to a.
Hawk to a.
I was like, what?
No, not Ellen.
His follow-up tweet is,
we got rid of the wolves
and now we're surprised by all the deer.
This guy's deep. Yeah. He's got away with words. I like it. Should we hire him? Can turn a phrase. Christopher. Can I
tell you guys a story? Uh. Yeah. Were you a hero?
I was packing to go on a golf trip recently.
I was like, man, looks to be a little chilly on this golf trip.
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The pants that I got from them are phenomenal.
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They knock, I have tried several different pairs
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twilary.com. Twilary, tailored for performance. Man, I went viral on Twitter and I was checking to see,
Dylan, you went viral the other day. I retweeted you so I could track your numbers.
Thanks, man.
I saw, I'm struggling to see where you retweeted my viral tweet that was trying to try to amplify
the washed voice on the Twitter timeline.
Yeah, I'm just not seeing it, man.
That's tough.
Ooh, I'm sorry, dude.
Yeah, I'm up to 1.8 million views on this.
I don't think I've gotten any from Dylan.
That's numbers, man.
He retweet shamed me the other day.
I was pretty sorry, Dylan.
Randy, can you put up the Turbo Guinness video please?
Sure, of course I can.
I'll definitely do that.
You were all over this.
Randy.
I definitely knew that we are going to be watching this because there was, I'm assuming
it's in the rundown.
It's in the rundown.
There was no link beforehand.
I don't know.
Oh, Brett just liked my tweet.
So he's either listening right now or he just came across his timeline. Oh, thank you, David
Thank you for that retweet. Oh, that's from a few days ago. Oh, yeah, I figured it would be I figured it would be
I don't retweet shame
I mean, he's just putting a shot of espresso into a Guinness
Those flavors I've never thought about it, but they do seem like they would go extremely
well together.
I would mess this up.
Yeah.
Baird and I talk a lot about drink of the summer, drink of the fall, drink of the winter,
whatever on retail therapy.
And there's never been something that I think actually goes at the absolute neck of an espresso
martini.
Like people are still gonna order them for
years to come. Too sweet. You're just you're drinking that. You
need to make some at home ones. It's on my outlist, dude. I
get it. I get it. You're that part. But like this is this is
a formidable opponent here. I would absolutely dump a shot of
espresso into a Guinness at the end of a dinner. This is the
way you should start a night.
A Guinness and a shot.
Yeah.
Since like.
Of espresso.
Or a post dinner bev maybe.
Yeah.
Dylan's been on.
Digestif.
Espresso martinis for a while.
He didn't get one at our Christmas dinner.
Yeah, yeah.
That's true.
That's one of the, that's one of the, that entered my outlist that night.
That would ruin espresso martinis for me.
If everyone at the table had one except for me
while I was in the bathroom,
I'd be like, one, y'all are shitty friends.
Two, I'm officially never having one of these again.
I was so pouty.
Those are really good too.
They were good.
They weren't sweet at all.
What?
Oh my.
The fact that they came out and made them table side too
and did like the whole like explanation.
Oh wow.
Yeah, they ground the beans.
They let Dave press the button to grind the beans.
We take a burger?
It was a burger?
$35 table side espresso teenies for the squad,
minus Dylan.
It was a bad time for you to go take a mondo in public.
I was gone for a minute and a half.
I had a pee pee.
It was a quick mondo.
So rude, man.
There are people out there,
since my tweet has gotten some visibility,
I have critics of this.
People saying, well, coffee stouts have been around for a long time now.
Go fuck yourself.
That's different, though.
Like it is different, David.
This is combining two completely different bevs.
I guarantee you that any coffee stout does not have as much caffeine in it as.
Guinness with a shot or two of espresso dumped in it. Right. No question.
Where did we go? Do you remember the coffee shop near the paint factory?
The last office, the last Grand Ex office.
Yeah.
Little coffee shop that opened up.
Forgot the name of it.
We went over there with Dan one time and we all ordered coffee and Dan ordered,
he didn't know he was ordering, he ordered like espresso thinking like,
oh, I'm gonna get some fucking, some gas.
And they just gave him like the tiny little espresso saucer.
As the espresso will come in.
And he's like, oh, he's like,
I thought it was something else.
That's such a Danism.
It is, it is.
It is perfectly Dan.
It is such failed smiles, such failed smiles.
Like, ah.
I'll do that at airports sometimes,
because I don't want to pee.
So I'll just go and get a, like, you know,
like the Ily places, like I'll just go up there and be like, yeah, I'll do a at airports sometimes because I don't want to pee so I'll just go and get a like, you know You know like the elite places like I'll just go up there and be like yeah, I'll do a double shot of espresso
Yeah, one dude looked at me one time. He goes, that's all he was like not
He was a patron not like the guy and I looked at him and I said, yeah
I don't want to pee on the flight mind your fucking business. He looked back at me. He goes. That's a great idea
Yeah, yeah, I know dude. I just want the caffeine about all the liquid exactly makes sense
That's like honestly one of the real problems with airports
Is that there's not like a special section where you can just go and easily do your coffee enema?
So you don't have to pee like that's like one of my biggest gripes with airports
I mean TSA obviously that and like flights being delayed, but yeah
You can't bring it to a store bathroom stall. You just don't have enough room to wiggle around
That's fair one of my one of my gripes with airports is that they don't have enough room to wiggle around. Oh, that's fair. One of my gripes with airports
is that they don't have enough to go coffee things.
Like you can't just go into like a bookstore
and get like a Starbucks cold brew.
Yeah.
I recently saw that in Austin,
if you're walking away from like the Delta side
and you're walking more through the Southwest
into American Airlines side,
they have a high brew cold brew vending machine.
This is great knowledge for all ball knowers out there
because the lines at the Austin coffee spots are crazy long.
If you can just go and swipe your credit card
and get a vending machine popping out a can of cold brew.
Oh, a can.
Yeah, yeah, it's not making it there.
I thought they're making it in little cups.
No, but like that's kind of nice.
Yeah.
Absolutely.
That's a nicey.
It is a nicey.
It's definitely not a bogey move.
It's a birdie move.
It's a nicey birdie move.
It's annoying as hell though
that you can't just go get a double shot of espresso can,
Starbucks style from like a random place.
Like big coffee has completely eliminated that.
Or I'm just not looking in the right spots.
Well, it's beanflation.
I didn't think about that.
Yeah.
Coffee is expensive these days.
Yeah.
How much is a
Joe Biden
shot of espresso and a Guinness Guinner Runnyas?
12 bucks. Probably the cost one guinness plus one espresso
I think 11 plus a one dollar tip
But I think you got to hit more for this because making a shot of espresso takes more effort than pouring again
I love the sound of that espresso getting made
It's gonna be a 13 dollar thing do it do the fucking sound
Will you got one?
No, you guys crushed it.
I think so too.
I'm happy with that performance.
You have to drink it quick though.
Isn't that a thing with espresso,
if it sits out for like 20 seconds, it starts to turn.
Not turn bad.
It's a sip and a half.
How long can you make it last?
I mean, that's that me espresso.
Why don't you find out?
Why don't you take me for coffee?
I will, Hoss.
Go and get you coffee, Hoss.
No, put up your butt, Hoss.
Dude, I tried your move, by the way,
and it did not work.
Which one is that?
Where you go in the little breastfeeding place,
the little room that they have,
and you do the coffee enema.
Well, I went in there and somebody knocked on the door
and it was a young mother and I was like,
she caught me with the, I had everything
and I was like, I gotta do something.
Damn, I'm doing an espresso.
Do you really ask them for creamer when you're in there?
Yeah.
Straight from the source, man.
It's disgusting.
Right off the top.
Collagen. It's disgusting. Collagen the source, man. Disgusting. Right off the top. Collagen.
Disgusting.
Collagen's good for you.
Of course it is.
I saw a truck the other day while driving to work
and it was a collagen company.
And all I could think of is,
how are you getting that collagen?
I'm sorry, does the truck run on collagen?
Yeah, I'm confused.
No, it was renewable.
It was like a...
Truck.
I'm not thinking of the right word, it wasn't collagen.
Oh.
Oh, I know what you're thinking.
It's the...
It's the breast milk thing.
Starts with a P, not that.
I don't know, man. No, hold on have to land the plane here it's not gonna sit right with me what are we talking about oh it's
like the it's it's like got a light brown tinge to it like very very light but it was a truck and I was like
are they carrying a bunch of this like breast milk stuff on this truck oh man it's definitely
not this I botched this this is on me if you're unsubscribing right now please stop I'll be
I'll be I'll hop right out in the little breastfeeding room at the airport. I'll hop right out and let you go do
your thing. That's that's
gentlemanly of you. I'm a hero.
You'll stop putting coffee in your
butt so they can breastfeed in the
room dedicated for breastfeeding.
Is it is it what's in the placenta?
I know that's I'm telling you it's
there's something like this. I
don't know man. I'm I'm lost on
that. There's something in the
process that is colostrum colostrum colostrum baby. Good
pole. It's the it's the first milk produced by the breast and
it's sometimes called liquid gold because of the nutritional
value and deep yellow color. How are they getting colostrum
at such a rapid clip that you can have a transportation
vehicle full of it. I think they're getting it from from
animals. Okay. Like
cow colostrum. I need to know. I think that's gotta be it. Cow.
Okay. I mean, I might try this. I've tried stupider things.
I might try this. I've tried stupider things.
Colostrum, there it is.
Jaguar, they rebranded.
People don't like it.
Randy, can you play the video?
There was a link to that.
I don't wanna hear that.
I don't wanna hear that bullshit from you, Randy.
Or maybe there wasn't a link the first time
for the other one.
So Jaguar put out a new thing.
It got so panned that even Elon responded responded to the tweet asking do you sell cars?
Shut up Elon. That's epic. Um, actually I had a question because I also produce cars
Is there a single car in this entire ad? Nope. I
Think they're doing a bit
The music kind of vibe though, it's not gloopy enough
The music kind of vibe though, it's not gloopy enough
Like this like this is a lab rate like long long play they're gonna do something else like just kidding
Like what do you think of when you think of a Jaguar vehicle? I think of the hood ornament I think of the iconic logo hood ornament. They are is that are
Generally poor quality really Really? Yeah.
But I always associated with, okay, I'm not a car guy.
So I don't know poor quality cars versus not,
but their branding has always been very luxurious.
Of course.
Like I associate it with like
driving in the English countryside.
Same, I do too.
Yeah, like that kind of thing.
Cool, it's a cool brand.
Yeah, and I just don't understand
why they would make it look like it's like
every other startup out there.
This has the feel of like a nightclub
that just opened up downtown,
and it's gonna be one word,
and you're gonna have to say it.
Welcome to Jaguar.
Like this.
But also futuristic.
You've colostrum martinis.
It's from the year like 2150.
Just seems futuristic to me. Like what do you do if you're going to like a restaurant downtown and the elevator opens
up and everyone's dressed like this?
Like man, I'm at the wrong place.
Yeah, I underdressed.
They're on that new shit.
I'm wearing a jacket right now.
These dudes are from the future.
Wearing your skater clothes.
Where's the undercover cop corps?
I'm looking for that.
How would you ask this group of people for cocaine?
Just reach in their pockets.
I wouldn't know what to say.
The first, my dad tried to get me to buy a car
when I was in high school and we went and looked at it.
It was a Jaguar.
And I was like, dad, I don't think I can do this.
Like, you know, you're buying this car for me, right?
Like, I can't afford a car.
I'm in high school.
It's like a new one?
No, it was a used one for five grand.
It was lipstick red.
Ooh.
But there was tan interior, which was baller.
But I just was like, I don't think I can spend,
I don't think I can justify $5,000
on an old ass Jaguar that's lipstick red. I
Appreciate my dad trying to get me to flex though. Can you imagine me pulling into the high school parking lot?
Parking that next to my sister Subaru, which probably even cost more than that
No, I ended up driving that Subaru for about ten years
So had a gas leak that I never fixed that seems like one of those vehicles you get pulled over a lot in yeah
Yeah, I got pulled over a few times in high school. I was kind of a bad boy
Wow
What were you doing texting and driving? No, I text and drive. He rolled the whip
Yeah, you guys didn't have texting back when you were driving on high school. Yeah, we did we had t9 motherfucker
Okay, come on Randy. We didn't have that Michelle Obama lunch like you did
Don't bring that up. Randy's not happy about that. No. Yeah. No. Yeah, Dave tried saying that it wasn't a big deal
I'm like, yeah, cuz you weren't no, no, no have those lunches. We I had a deal with it
I said a lot of the people a lot of people who are really all in on
RFK healthy nutrition
Word big mad about Michelle Obama back in the day trying to get school lunches healthier
I don't know the merits of what she did. I didn't I've been informed that she just switched a lot of things to wheat
She made things ass. But Randy got real mad and I was like, what did I say?
And it's because Randy actually had to eat those lunches.
I had to eat the cardboard tortillas.
I didn't know that.
You never told me.
It was that bad?
It was the first I'm hearing of it.
It wasn't good.
But were they healthier?
Apparently.
Look at you now.
Look at me now, Hoss.
I am.
Look at me now, Hoss. You am. Look at me now, Hoss.
You look pretty healthy.
You look fine.
Why don't you say thanks, Michelle?
I'm not gonna say thanks, Michelle.
Why?
Thanks, Michelle, on Randy's behalf.
Thanks, Obama.
There you go.
Remember that?
I do.
Applauds.
Anyways.
Did Ross get a cyber truck?
No.
Did he?
Call him.
Doesn't he shit on Elon pretty heavy?
57 seconds ago on Twitter,
if you see me in the streets, try not to stare.
And it's a picture of a cyber truck in his driveway.
You know, I could see Ross getting a cyber truck.
He had a Tesla already.
He did. Why. He did.
Why?
He did.
Please no, Ross.
Please no.
Dude, why are you so jealous?
I couldn't be less.
He got to clean this thing up.
Why is it so dirty?
You can't wash them.
That's why.
It's a dusty ass whip.
Imagine washing a cyber truck.
Imagine rolling one of those.
I feel like it's really hard be loud as fuck. Oh, yeah
Because of how the weight. Yeah, they say they're more dangerous because they don't they don't crumble like cars are supposed to
So if you get in a car accident, like your body's taking the the brunt of the inertia not the car
That's not good.
I was just, I was just more coming about how the battery's on the bottom and that's why they're more harder to tip.
I just texted him.
Isn't the battery very heavy too?
Yeah.
I had a Uber driver who also worked on diesel engines
and we had about a 28 minute dissertation on like
why they're trash and why EVs are trash
and why diesels are sick.
And honestly, like it was very informative.
I don't remember any of it.
I just knew, I knew the battery was heavy.
That was my big takeaway.
It's heavy.
Yeah, but you love heavies.
Colostrum.
Bro, let's go out this weekend. There's a crazy event happening.
I'd like to turn on.
Bro, bro, bro, there's a crazy event happening.
Let's just go have fun and then go with it.
David Ward, fellas, let's go!
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I'm happy to report that Ross does not have a Cybertruck. They gave him this while his
Tesla was being serviced. Oh, that's kind of a great, that's great actually. That's sick.
It is kind of cool. You know, for a couple of days.
Yeah, it'd be fun to drive for a couple of days.
Get a bunch of middle fingers and thumbs downs.
Big weekend ahead.
Weather should be pretty close to perfect.
I, along with my family, my father, my sister, my brother-in-law,
Parks and Chelsea, we are
going to the Kentucky game 2 30, Dennis time on Friday, Saturday, I mean not
Friday, on Saturday. I think you're gonna be a little early buddy. And I'm pretty
excited, like I mentioned on Monday, Parks will be running onto the field
before the game. Is he playing? He's not playing. Are they recruiting him?
I don't think so. Not yet. They have an offer. He doesn't have good tape yet to put together.
I've been on his rivals. So I'm extremely excited for that. I don't know what kind of
how close I'm going to be able to get to the action to walk him down there. So I might
get the peek inside the tunnel. I don't know how it works, but I'm pretty pumped for it.
You should try to run down there too. Maybe I will. They should let you.
Maybe. So that'll be really fun. You could cook those kids.
Yeah. Show them your speed dude. Show Sark what you're built with.
I'll pull something. You've got a year of eligibility.
I'll pull something for sure. So that's going to be fun. Can't wait for that.
And then, um, that's pretty much all I have actually. Nothing really else. Parks leads for California on Sunday.
He's going with his mom and his stepdad.
They're going to do a Thanksgiving and Palm Springs.
So I'm going to miss the little guy for a little bit.
So I'll be sad about that, but,
and otherwise pretty solid weekend ahead for your boy playoffs, uh,
his playoffs are over. They lost the other night and then they have a game tonight. It's a consolation game
Don't even show lame
So he's he's bummed about that
So no more baseball that'll harden him. Yeah, it'll make him better moving forward. We back in the spring
What's that boy getting into?
It's just basically like a
that boy getting into? This is basically like a prepare to go out of town the following week type weekend. We just get things
in order around the house Monday, Tuesday, we're here and
then I think I think we're either leaving late Tuesday or
early Wednesday
but no major plans.
We'll be low key. That's about
it. The weather does look good.
Although Saturday, it's got a
little bit warmer than I
wanted. Yeah. Still, I'm not
going to complain. Sunny and
eighty. Relatively dry air. So
that's good. Yeah, just watching ball. Look, I
know we've got that thing with
Barrett potentially. I'm
assuming he still wants to do
it but hey daddy's in. I do
kind of want it's going to be
a I've got some Guinness in the
fridge. You know those I don't
have an espresso machine. I do if you want to come by.
Oh man, it's just like that.
I got that thing.
You just said you had a pretty open week.
Yeah, no, I meant like it's open enrollment for benefits.
So I'm going to be like at home trying to figure out looking for
the best plan talking to my benefits administrator.
What if I
but you may see some things on the story at DC rough on Instagram at D Carter Ruff on Twitter and me on the ground.
Add me on the Grom and the X the Twitter.
Go ahead. I saw you looking at that weather. Yeah, not ideal
weather in northern Michigan right now. Forties cloudy man
heading up. I'm going to go to the parents house for
Thanksgiving leaving on Friday
Just gonna chill with some lutes
As of this weekend, I'm not really sure what our plans are
I think we're gonna keep it low-key on Friday night when we get in
Get the boys set up for success for the rest of the trip. I got to set up a bed for myself
and then
One of my absolute girls has her birthday on Saturday.
So we're going out, hitting the town, having the grandparents babysit.
A little tough.
My mom's also got a birthday party that night for her friend turning 90.
So she said she might not be home in time to babysit.
I was like, you're going to be home in time.
Like she's turning 90.
It's not going to go late.
Damn, 90.
Yeah, real one.
And so, yeah, just just gonna be chilling out,
max and relaxing all cool.
Might take Fritz over to the playground
where there's a basketball court, run some fives.
You know, hometown stuff.
No big plans while we're up there.
And that's kinda how it's meant to be.
You should find a drain pool and fill it with cereal.
Ooh, that's a good idea.
Watch that video, please. Not a lot of
pools, though. Rock that documentary. It'll rock your
shit, dude. All right. Yeah. I'm excited to go up there. Sorry to
see my parents and stuff. But you know, it's not as much fun to
go up there during this time of year as it is during like mid
summer where you can just like play golf and go on the water
all the time. So it's just gonna be a lot of chilling. I'm gonna start the Great British Baking
Show this weekend. We've been saving it to hang out with my parents. Okay. They
watch like network news and stuff and I just don't sit and feel like sitting
there listening to the talking heads. Who's our guy? David Muir. The hair on I'm gonna check it out. I'm gonna check it out. I'm gonna check it out. I'm gonna check
it out. I'm gonna check it out.
I'm gonna check it out. I'm
gonna check it out. I'm gonna
check it out. I'm gonna check
it out. I'm gonna check it out.
I'm gonna check it out. I'm
gonna check it out. I'm gonna
check it out. I'm gonna check
it out. I'm gonna check it out.
I'm gonna check it out. I'm
gonna check it out. I'm gonna
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out. I'm gonna check it out.
I'm gonna check it out. I'm gonna
check it out. I'm gonna check it
out. I'm gonna check it out. I'm
gonna check it out. I'm gonna
check it out. I'm gonna check it
out. I'm gonna check it out. I'm
gonna check it out. I'm gonna
check it out. I'm gonna check it
out. I'm gonna check it out. I'm
gonna check it out. I'm gonna
check it out. I'm gonna check it
out. I'm gonna check it out. I'm
gonna check it out. I'm gonna
check it out. I'm gonna check it
out. I'm gonna check it out. I'm
gonna check it out. I'm gonna
check it out. I'm gonna check it
out. I'm gonna check it out. I'm
gonna check it out. I'm gonna
check it out. I'm gonna check
it out. I'm gonna check it
out. I'm gonna check it out. I'm
gonna check it out. I'm gonna
check it out. I'm gonna be checking it all day. Check, check, check.
Hey, if you go out and have a worst weekend this weekend,
like you actually, that'll count too.
Yeah, we'll count it.
Just tell us about it. Count it. Bye-bye.
See you guys. Bye. Thanks for watching guys!