Circling Back - Drunk Decisions & Detroit-Style Pizza

Episode Date: February 1, 2021

A huge Monday. Yes, Dave is out because of his newborn child and yes, we talk about it at length. We also discuss Brett’s new status as a Detroit-style pizza influencer, an all-time bizarre take on stonk memes, a Worst Weekend update on the man who changed his name to Celine Dion, and a candidate for Simp of the Year. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (9:20) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (29:00) Brett Is A Pizza Influencer (37:40) Depressed Stonk Boys (49:42) Worst Weekend Story Update: Celine Dion Man (58:39) Simp Of The Year Candidate (1:02:25) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (STELLA20 for 20% off) Stamps: www.stamps.com (click the microphone and use CIRCLINGBACK) Liquid IV: www.liquidiv.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 25% off) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the Lodge. My name is Will DeFreeze to my left Dylan shivery. It's the first intro. How does it feel? I thought about throwing it to Brett, but That would be very messed up of you It feels good I would like to be the first to I'd like to be the first to congratulate Dave on his new child

You'd be the second to congratulate Dave I was going to say, I'd like to be the first to congratulate the birth of Stella, who turns one today Oh, wow! Stella is one year old today, so big ups to Stella Holding it down at the crib right now Big, big day at the crib right now. Big, big day at the Chivary household. But also, yeah, Rhodes was born over the weekend.

Rhodes Ruff. Rhodes Carter Ruff. RCR. RCR. Great name. Just very, very happy for the Ruff family. Can't believe you caught me right there, dude. Come on. What? You were talking about Stella. You're right. Totally fine.

I got to Stella's birthday first. So, big ups. The biggest of ups. Yeah. You were talking about Stella. You're right. Totally fine. I got to Stella's birthday first. So big ups. The biggest of ups. Yeah. It's kind of weird. It's a beautiful thing that Dave is out from fraternity leave, but at the same time, all I want to do right now is have Dave sitting in this chair next to us so we can chat to him. Can't wait to talk to him about it.

Dave's always been a zaddy. Yeah, for sure. But now he's a daddy. For sure. At the same time. So it's big time, man. Another one of us in the parent club. It's big.

It's big. Two confirmed sex-havers on the podcast now. I have had sex before. That is true. At least once. Just that one time, though. Yeah. I can't wait for the second time.

It should be fun. The anticipation's just building. I can't wait. Good-looking little kid, man. You can't say that about all newborns. Not all newborns are cute. So I'm not very – let's introduce Brett real quick. We got the magic bullet in the building.

Hey, guys. Are you filling in for Dave full-time while he's out? That's the plan. It's cool with you guys. We need you to step up. Yeah. I thought it was going to be like a duo pod between you two. No.

No, because Dave and Dylan are in a fight., so I mean, I'm kind of glad that... Yeah. So actually, Dave's child came at a very good time. I figured with the birth of his child, we squash it temporarily, you know? Yeah. That's fair. Yeah. That's fair.

I think there are rumors out there that Dave took today off because he didn't want to face the news of the tuna situation at Subway. Oh, yeah. As a former sandwich artist, I think it's been pretty hard on him. Yeah, he used to go hard on that tuna, too. He has that airtight NDA, though, that he talked about. Yeah, he's definitely not allowed to talk about the tuna. The tuna.

Dylan, did you get a lift in before this? No. Do I look big? You just look big and athleisure-ed up. Oh, I'm get a lift in before this? No. Do I look big? You just look big and athleisure-ed up. Oh, I'm mad athleisure right now. Yeah, dude. What's up with you?

Well, I got these. I have some new Lulu joggers on, which I ordered two and a half weeks ago, and they just arrived because FedEx, the package was damaged or something. I don't know. I finally had the door stuffed, and I had to throw them on. They look good, dude. Of course, the Robeck hoodie. Yeah, those are nice.

You do know Austin has four Lululemon stores. Dude, we're in a pandemic. I'm not going to the store right now. As someone who has been to a couple of them throughout this pandemic, they keep it pretty safe in there.

I feel okay going into it. Yeah. I pretty much buy everything online these days. I mean, everything. Minus groceries when sometimes I do that online. After my body shaping

that I did over quarantine with the Peloton I had to start going in places. I've heard cool sculpting is just bullshit. There's no way it works.

It's just putting cold on your body. You're just freezing your fat or something? How does that work? I've heard from beauty influencers

that you just shouldn't even bother. Don't waste the money. If it did work, that would be tight. It'd be so cool if I could just sculpt myself. That's the thing about cool sculpting. It's sculpting that's also cool. There it is. It's got to be so nice, Dylan, to have a house that you don't have to worry about a package being delivered and not receiving.

But Will and I are still in apartment life. You know it, right? You get a package and it's like, oh, could it be in the leasing office? Could it be on my doorstep? I don't know. Yeah. You're just like, oh, I know it's right there. Yeah. I opened my door the other day to let Rosie out and there were just two giant boxes directly in front of the door. I almost just ran straight into them. I was like, really?

Putting them just right here? I guess it's convenient, but it's definitely not where you're supposed to leave packages. People steal packages at our place all the time yeah you don't have that uh that's that locker system we do apartments have we do but sometimes guys just get rattled by it and they're it just it's easier for them just to go drop it by the door amazon thinks i think they think it's easier to just drop it by the door but amazon packages are just ripe for getting stolen there's no cameras in our hallways yeah i always enjoyed the logger system at my old apartment. And it's always funny because when you get a package, they take a picture of it, or they try to at least.

And it's like a picture of the guy's knee usually, or like the bill of his cap. I just don't know how it works. It's really funny. I'd say maybe 15% of the time I can actually read the label. The other 85% of the time it's just the dude's face or like the UPS logo on his chest. Yeah. It's like, oh, perfect.

You guys crushed this. Awesome. Perfect. Oh, man. Happy to be here. Happy Monday, guys. Happy February. Another one in the squad.

I got a new squad member. Little Rhodes. Do we decide what we're calling him? I don't think so. I don't have any good nicknames yet. Yeah. Well, we've got to meet the little guy. I'm not very good at looking at children and deciding which parent they look like.

Oh, it takes a while, right? But Dave and Alyssa's kid looks like a perfect hybrid of both of them. Yeah, so far he does. The second I saw that baby, I was like, wait, this is just Dave and Alyssa's kid looks like a perfect hybrid of both of them. Yeah, so far he does. The second I saw that baby, I was like, wait, this is just Dave and Alyssa. Yeah. Parks has always looked exactly like me, like when he was very young. But he's starting to look more like Dallas now.

He's kind of got Dallas's nose a little bit. He can go both ways, and I don't think he's going to be upset as he grows up. He's a handsome little kid, man. He's got good-looking parents. He does. He does. Mm-hmm. Man, should we get some official business out of the way before we get this loaded episode going hit us dude first of all go follow circling

back pod and watch media on the grom if you haven't done that already then i don't even know don't even know what we're doing we did fall below 10.4k on the grom but we got it back we dipped we dipped what the hell we had one person on, so we went from 400 to 399. But we're back. Ain't no biggie. Dude, we're back. Also, leave a review and five-star rating every episode on youtube.com slash washedmedia. Also, clips, the best ofs that we released on the washedmedia Instagram.

Go check those out as well. And this week's Patreon schedule. We got Bachelor tomorrow. Get excited. It's going to be a good episode. I think people are getting cut on this episode. I think that heads are going to be rolling tomorrow. I also think that we have some other Bachelor adjacent news that we can discuss.

It's just going to be a big episode. Yeah. Yeah. Also, R&B Radio. Are you guys doing it tomorrow or what? I think that's the plan. Are you guys every week? I know we missed a couple weeks of R&B Radio.

I think we're pretty consistent on the Tuesday now. The time has been a little off because we have these meetings now that we're doing. Yeah, yeah. We get a little off, but we'll be fine. We shoot for 1230 Central. I don't think we've been on time once, but that's okay. That's the beauty of R&B radio. You just never know.

It's R&B afternoon radio. Randy was on The Stitch last week. We did a nostalgia episode. I heard. It hit hard. Randy was just playing all the middle school dance songs grinding you guys talked about compression shorts real early you guys were grinding in here yeah we were grinding we we had yeah did you guys dance while you're playing the Yeah, you know that one. Sierra. Yeah. She's so fine. Yeah. Russell Wilson.

Good for Russ. Yeah. Good for Russ. Mm-hmm. And then voicemails on Friday. Patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. Again, patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. Let's do this weekend in fun, presented by Roback.

Dylan's wearing a Roback hoodie right now. I am. I love this damn thing. I spent the entirety of's wearing a Roback hoodie right now. I am. I love this damn thing. I spent the entirety of yesterday wearing a Roback pullover and I could not have been happier about it. They make a fine pullover. They make a fine everything. I wear their athletic performance tees

pretty much on the daily. You know your boy likes to move a little weight around. I don't do it without a Roback tee on. All that says to me is that you have way more roback t's than i have because if i could wear one of those every time i worked out i'd be happy but i don't have enough to sustain it well i also have a washing machine which is it comes in handy a lot of the time i thought you had a spray bottle in two hands and you just like pull it on that's just for getting wrinkles out get out of here yeah whatever dude stella 20 will get you 20% off at checkout. Stella 20. Load the card up. Pro tip.

Load the card up because I think it's a one-time use code. It's a one-time use code, baby, so if you're going to go in, go in hard. Because if you just buy a shirt thinking, like, I wonder if I'm going to like this, and then next thing you know, you can't get the discount, you're going to be disappointed because you're going to want to buy again. Load the card! That's what I'm saying, man.

I got you, dude. I love my Roback stuff. Okay. It's great for golf. It's great for everything. It's great for chilling. It's great for golf. Great for working out.

I love it all. Day beers? Lunch beers? Stella 20. We'll get you 20% off your first order. Do it up. Is it time? This weekend of fun?

Dylan, what did you get into? Oh, boy. What did I get into? All kinds of fun stuff. Friday, did you get into? Oh, boy. What did I get into? All kinds of fun stuff. Friday, I just didn't do anything, actually. Just stayed at the crib. Very low-key night. Saturday, however, your boy went on a little date, which I mentioned last week I was going to be doing.

Weather was perfect. Little patio situation at Will and Sally's favorite place June's we don't frequent as much as we used to we hit we hit a

a whole bottle of the June's Rose sparkling Rose it hits oh it hits it was a great time it was honestly like one of the

one of the best dates ever look at you look at you it was incredible wow it was incredible I Whoa. Wow. It was incredible. I think she says she's going to listen too.

Will Mommy's everywhere just rolling in their grave right now. She knew nothing about circling back or even what I did for a living. So we got a new listener too? She knew the basis of what I did for a living, but she's never listened to circling back before. So she says she's going to. Welcome to the show. And that's not why I'm saying good things about it. It genuinely was like awesome great time um yeah and she's friends with uh sally's sister emily you met up with

emily at the end of the date it was that was fun it was just a good night man okay a lot of fun what'd you do for uh for for a bite to eat at june's didn't eat at June's. Just got drinks there. And then we walked down to Vespio. Yeah. Oh, Vespio. Vespio. Vespio. Which, for my money, is the best Italian food in Austin. And it was awesome.

Very, very good. Great conversation. Great food. It was just a good night, man. Date number two? Best Italian food? We're not talking about that. Best Italian food in Austin, huh?

In my opinion. I agree. I don't have the repertoire of Italian food restaurants under my belt in Austin to even know. To be fair, Austin is not a great Italian food city. It's not? It's not. What's up with that? So the best of an average Italian food city.

I agree. Yeah. Coming from probably the number one Italian food city in the world. Of course, I travel. I've traveled to Italy, and I've eaten all over there. So it's like whatever. Is that why you're just so unimpressed with the Italian food in Austin? No, I mean, this place is good, though.

The homie did get his Grease shirt off this weekend. The fit on this kid. That thing has been in his closet at his mom's for all this time. I forgot that I got that for him. I legit wondered. When I saw him in the shirt, I thought to myself, Dylan bought this shirt and it was the smallest size he could get.

And it was one of those things that was like, eh, he'll grow into it in like a year and get an absolute fit off. Dude, I went to Torrey Pines when he was like one maybe. And I bought the smallest polo they had in the pro shop.

And it took him four years before he could wear it. And it's still kind of big on him. Maybe you can wear it like, I mean, he'll be able to wear it for years. But this Grease shirt, yeah, that thing is a tight T-shirt, man. It is a tight T-shirt. When I saw it, I was like, dude, you could produce those for people that don't even go to Grease and just sell a shit ton of them.

Right, right. I love it. That's tight, man. I ain't got no Santorini. Yeah, so I got Parks back Sunday morning, and we had a great little day. Played a little soccer out in the front yard. Yeah, a little footy. Footy?

Really? Really? A little footy. Let me know next time you do it. Nah, we're good, man. You watch Man City Arsenal too. They didn't play this weekend. Manchester United played Arsenal this weekend.

He thinks he's really good, and it's cute to see. Like, he'll play. Like, dude, that's an awesome kick. And he'll be like, yeah, thank you. Like, he's so cocky about it. I've only seen one video of him playing, and that ball was glued to his shoe. Yeah, dude. His friends are calling him Lionel.

That makes sense. That's cool. Yeah. More on that on Too Much Dip later. Wow. There's some messy news. Really? Things are getting messy.

I see what you did there. Who did you just look at? KJ. Oh, nice. KJ came in today, and he had more soccer knowledge of what happened over the weekend than I had because I just didn't watch anything. I came in to be filled in. Will literally said, I was so offline this weekend.

I guess we're about to hear about it. Your boy was offline. Damn, dude. There was a picture of you in your bed on your phone. One of your best friends was about to have a kid. You can't unplug. I was very online yesterday. I was very offline on Saturday.

Saturday was the day. I know. Do you want me to tell you what I did this weekend? Yeah. Okay. Friday. Had nothing to do. So I went to Matt's El Rancho. Thought we were getting there early so we'd get a table like really easily. Yeah. Didn't happen. One of the busiest I've ever seen it.

There were a lot of girls here wearing cowboy hats which confused me. Bachelor party. Bachelorette party. That's right. Or bachelor party. It's very possible but there were two different groups that were just all wearing cowboy hats and I was like,

what's going on here? It was very interesting. And then I had something happen to me at Matt's All Rancho that I've never had happen before and I have to say, left a bad flavor in my mouth and I'm not talking about the food.

Sure. You ready for this? I got a text that said my table was ready. I went up and I showed them the text and they said, oh, no, we don't have a table allocated to you. So you still need to wait. Oh. They were like, it's probably going to be 30 minutes. And I'm like, so you just got my hopes up about this.

And now you're going to make me wait. I've already been waiting for 45 minutes. Why did they send you the text? I don't know. I was like, what's going on here? And so we were just standing there and then we were standing there waiting for our table to be allocated to us. I don't even know what that means. And we looked over

and we can see four different tables in the restaurant. And I went up and I was like, hey, like, I did get a text and then I got another text and I was like, okay, you have to give us

one of these tables. Like, what's the problem here? And I think they got their head out of their ass and they're like, yeah, we do have a lot of open tables inside right now and they just wouldn't

satisfy one. It's like, you gotta be kidding me. That's messed up, dude. Yeah. That's messed up. Match is going downhill. They must say that. The water cups are smaller.

They no longer take American Express, which I get double – actually, I get triple points at restaurants. So that's kind of inconvenient. It's good to know. I'm not getting my points anymore. And honestly, I think they raised the prices. Are you shitting me? I'm just saying.

We've got to be careful. Then Saturday, Saturday, offline day. Dude, the weather on Saturday started bad and turned into the best day in Austin by a mile. It was Lily, former pop-in guest star of the Mail-In podcast. It was her baby shower. And so because it was her baby shower day, Drew, her husband, wanted to get away.

And so we went and played some golf at Lions Municipal Golf Course in Austin, Texas. And the boys were running. There were eight of us out there. Got off early. It was very fun. And yeah, as you said, it went from being pullover weather

to immediately just pop-top weather. And yeah, for people wondering, yeah, I did drink three beers on the course, not to brag. I also had a sausage wrap on the course, not to flex too hard. You love sausage wraps. It's a Texas glizzy. And then guess what I did after that? I went and ate at the most mediocre Tex-Mex restaurant in Austin, Texas. Or I guess Jane.

You went back-to-back to Tex-Mex? Went to Maudie's. Oh, that's not even mediocre. It's just because it was close there and there was a 30-minute wait at the other place we wanted to go to. We needed to eat alfresco. So we were like, you know what?

I don't know what to do. So we had to go to fucking Maudie's. I hate Maudie's. It's not good. It's good if you've never had Tex-Mex before. It's like, oh, okay. It's good if you're literally starving. When you compare it to any other decent it's good if you're literally starving when you compare it to any other decent text makes like okay yeah this is not i got the fajita meat on top of like a power bowl that fajita meat was some of the most subpar

fajita meat i've ever seen in my entire life just disgusting i felt bad though i was on the course when uh the text started flowing in about baby roads baby Baby Rhodes, take me home. Oh, there it is. There we go. Baby Rhodes. So I felt kind of bad because about two hours after, I picked up my phone to check out, see if I missed anything. And, yeah, it turns out I missed something quite major,

the birth of Dave's son. Yeah. So, yeah, the announcement hit just, I think, a couple hours before my date started. And my phone was just going wild at dinner or during drinks her during drinks I'd explained what was going on and she's she's familiar with the whole squad you know she's kind of you know we have a million me yeah yeah the mutual friends here she's like oh Alyssa had her had her baby oh yeah you know you know they are oh yeah speaking of Stella in my day she also told me that she almost was the owner of Stella which is this story. This is actually mind-blowing.

It is. So we were talking. I knew pretty much nothing about her. We were just talking about our lives a little bit. I was like, yeah, Parks and I, we got a puppy over quarantine. She goes, yeah, Stella was almost mine. I was like, excuse me?

What do you mean by that? She goes, no. I was looking to get an English cream retriever, and I knew that Alyssa and Dave had one. And so I reached out to Alyssa and asked for the information for the breeder, contacted Deborah's her name. And she had, like, she, like, reserved Stella pretty much. She was like, I'm going to get Stella. And then she backed out, which allowed me to swoop in and claim Stella. Drove down and got her.

And when I was there, she's like, yeah, someone else was interested in her. I had no idea who it was, obviously, at the time. Turns out it was her. Crazy. That's weird.

Come on. Crazy. That's weird. Yeah. Yeah. Small world, man. Crazy. You know what I did Saturday night?

Why did you say night? Dude, tell us. Your boy watched The Little Things, starring Denzel Washington, Rami Malek, and Jared Leto. Three Academy Award winners. You guys were even aware this movie was out? Nope. Had no clue it was getting released this weekend on HBO Max.

Tossed it on, thinking like, okay, let's fucking go. Honestly, super underwhelmed. Really? Hmm. Super underwhelmed. I need someone else to watch this movie. How have I not heard of a new release like that with that cast? COVID times, dude. It's just different.

HBO, huh? It was on HBO Max, but apparently they're also showing it in theaters per the description, but I don't really believe it. No one's going to movie theaters. Are theaters open? Hard to say. I think some are. Depends on where where you're at i think drive-ins might come back you know amc's going to the moon here's what they say yeah yeah you hear about this the stonk no i mean neither are the stonks hot dude i shorted it i'm sorry oh did you yeah yeah if you're betting with the house if you guys are thinking of watching that movie, it's worth watching, but just know that you're going to be a little let down.

Then I'm not going to watch it. No, I think you should watch it. I think it's definitely going to get the nods, but it's one of those movies. I'm not even going to say anything more. I enjoyed it. I'm glad I watched it, but I wanted more. I had a lot of questions, and luckily I had one friend who had also watched it, and I hit him up after, and I was like, okay, we've got to talk all this out right now. And it didn't get me anywhere.

What did you get into this weekend, Brent? Well, I have a bone to pick with our friends at Easy Tiger. So they came out with a queso, which I was like, oh, cool, queso, Easy Tiger. I bet you it's fantastic, right? So I'm there. I had the lappy open friday afternoon and um order the queso and she walks away she comes back well she's like do you want anything with it i'm like what do you what do you mean like a drink or she's like well

it's just the queso we don't do chips wait what and i was like so you're gonna bring me a bowl of queso with just with nothing's like, yeah, yeah. We have to order something else. I'm like, what do you – Oh, that's not cool. What do I – you don't have chip. What do I do? She's like, well, people usually do the pretzel.

I'm like, oh, the $11 pretzel? Yeah, the pretzel. Yeah, the upcharge on the pretzel is not going to be – it's tough. So the $5 queso that I thought was going to just be chips and queso actually turns into a $16 meal with a pretzel and queso. You got bamboozled. And I was like- Hoodwinked. All right.

Do you have a half pretzel? No. That's like charging for ice with a soda. Yeah. So here I am sitting there with a fucking pretzel and a bowl of queso looking like an idiot. You should have hollered at me. I could have brought you some tortilla chips from across the street.

I would have loved that. That's not cool, man. Like BYOC? Like, what are you supposed to do with that? Gross, dude. So they're on my shit list, but they do have a really good draft beer there. So that was Friday. Went home, watched the Tiger Dock.

It was tight. And then Saturday, we got a massage. Really? Really? Oh, yeah. Shouts to Coralie and Spalala over here on, what's this road, Bee Cave? Yeah. Unbelievable.

Unbelievable. Yeah? Yeah. So Caroline got me on ClassPass. Yeah. Which is like, I don't even know how to describe it. It's like class things. It's a punch card for workouts.

Everyone knows what a class pass is. So anyway, so I'm on the free trial right now. I actually got to cancel it. But I had like extra credits left because I did Pilates last weekend, but I had some leftover. So I decided, well, hey, I'm going to get a massage because I love getting massages. And I had some credits, and they were available, had good reviews.

They were a local spot. I didn't want to go to, like, a big massage retailer. You know, you don't want that. Dude, fuck big massage. Am I right? Yeah. Who doesn't want a big massage? Big massage?

Get out of here. Overpriced and under, you know, they just churn you out. I want somebody who's actually focused on the clients. No, I will say, if you're trying to get a massage in Austin, I got one for Sally and then added myself on, thinking, like, oh, we'll just do a nice little couples thing. And we went big massage. Yeah. Yeah, I'll never go big massage again here.

Got shelled. Couldn't believe what they charged me when I walked out of there. I was like, man, I'm never giving this gift again. They don't even know your name. They're just like, nope, you're just another back. You're another set of shoulders for them. Nothing. I did use a lot of the hair gel that they had available to you in the men's locker room.

And now it's my full-time hair gel. So I guess I did get a lasting gift out of that place. That's cool. Yeah. Man. But yeah, I got a massage, dude. And then she did this thing where she was like, is it cool if I do this technique? Was this towards the end of it?

No, no, no, no. There were like bars. They looked like Olympic bars. Oh, she walked on it. Like parallel bars? Yeah, she walked on me, dude. She walked on my back, and it was awesome. Oh, I make people walk on my back all the time.

I absolutely love it. She was like, is it cool if I do this technique? In high school, I used to make her walk on my back because she was small, and she knew how to do it. And, like, it felt amazing. The good weight range for me is, like, between, like, 115 and 140 pounds. You have it dialed in. I mean, like, it can be too heavy, right?

But then if it's too light, it's not enough pressure. So I'll just ask, like, hey, you mind walking on my back? It feels so good. It pops my shit. It's awesome. Yeah. Dude, it was like she knew where. It pops my shit. It's awesome. Yeah. Dude, it was like she knew where to step to pop shit. It was awesome.

Fantastic. Highly recommend. That's great. She has a small massage. We need more small massage backers out there. Spa la la on B Cave. Now the secret's out. Spa la la.

Spa la la. So I got a massage on Saturday. Yeah, spa-la-la. Spa-la-la. So I got a massage on Saturday. Sunday, didn't do much yesterday, honestly. Drove around a little bit. Got a lift in in the morning. Did a little Sunday drive. It was nice. No one's doing Sunday drives anymore. It was such a beautiful day yesterday.

Sally was like, I really want to go for a walk. And I was like, well, you should text one of your sisters because I'm not leaving. I don't really feel like doing anything today. I had a little too much to drink the day before on the golf course, and I just don't feel like doing anything. I've been a walking fool lately. Me and Stella are putting in miles, man.

You have a dope walking situation. Oh, I do. My neighborhood is a great walking neighborhood. My new neighborhood is going to have to turn into a walking situation because without the dog park in it, it's going to be rough on your boy and Rosie. Rosie's not going to know what hit her. She's going to be rattled not seeing her squad. Damn.

Dude, you're about to see my car just in your front yard sometimes. Just know I'm just getting a walk off in your neighborhood. That's fine, man. Come walk with me and Stella, dude. I'm down. Man, I need to get some walking in. I did the park for the first time that's on the river. Ha-ha.

It's like right at the edge of like between First and South Lamar. Oh. Auditorium Shores. Auditorium Shores? Auditorium Shores, yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's a cool little spot. I got a lap in down there. Yeah.

It's a cool spot. Oh, yeah. I saw you were down there. You posted a photo or sent a photo, and I was like, what's Brett doing at Auditorium Shores right now? I did that multiple times this weekend. They used to be on my jogging route when I lived right there next to Uchi. It's pronounced Yagin, dude.

Yagin. Yeah. Yeah. It was nice, though. No football this weekend. I started for Super Bowl Sunday next weekend. I thought the Super Bowl was yesterday. I had all these wings prepared.

I had some hummus and vegetables in case Dylan wanted to come over. Damn. I was like, oh, man, pregame's probably going to start pretty early. So I tossed on the TV, and it was just like fucking bullshit. I was like, damn. Sabres went one-on-one this weekend. What is the Super Bowl? Is it next Sunday? Next Sunday.

Cool. Yeah, there's always a one-week gap between the— I know. You don't have to mansplain how the Super Bowl works. Seems like you don't know. It's supposed to be Pro Bowl weekend. Yeah, they did do the Pro Bowl this year, right? Shouts to your Pro Bowl quarterback, Will. Ex-Pro Bowl quarterback.

I was going to say, did Jared Goff make it? Because I got a new quarterback in town, baby! Shouts to the Lions. That trade seems very one-sided to me in favor of Detroit. You're not a Stafford guy? I am. No, I think they're both really good quarterbacks. Stafford plus two first-rounders?

I'm sorry, Goff plus two first-rounders? Excuse me? You're saying Goff is a system quarterback. He's only good because of McVay. We'll see. We'll see. first rounders? Excuse me? They're saying Goff is a system quarterback. He's only good because of McVay. We'll see. We'll see. Miss me on that, sis.

I mean, he's a first overall pick. You don't... Okay, whatever. So is Stafford, dog. I know. He's saying system quarterback. You don't pick

system quarterback first overall. I'm just saying. The last thing I should be talking about is system quarterbacks and shit. I'm fucking stupid. Okay. Okay I should be talking about is system quarterbacks and shit. I'm fucking stupid.

Okay. Okay. How are the Red Wings doing on sports? Not good. Not good. Not good. Yep. Nothing's really going well for me on the sports side of things.

And you're a huge Patrick Reed guy. Tough day for all my Reed boys out there. Reed mafia. All right. Let's talk about Stamps.com real quick because, let's face it, making trips to the post office is probably not how you want to spend your time. That's why I recommend mailing and shipping online at Stamps.com. Stamps.com allows you to mail and ship anytime, anywhere, right from your computer.

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Just go to stamps.com, click on the little tiny microphone at the top of the homepage, and type in CIRCLINGBACK. That's stamps.com, promo code CIRCLINGBACK. Stamps.com. Never go to the post office again. We've got some big news for the squad. It's not often that we get media coverage of this of this level how did this happen brett is a pizza influencer yeah you know brett was quoted in the new york post i was his tweet was quoted in the new york post uh yeah you know i didn't see it at first

and then uh my my buddy at the the New York Post shot me a text. He's like, hey, man, you're in the post. Was he the reason that you were in there? No, I made that up. They found my tweet, dude. I texted you. I texted the squad. Yeah.

I saw it first in our subreddit, in the circling reddit page. Yeah. So someone found it. Published pizza influencer. That's me. What's going on here? How did this happen? Well, the headline is just pizza what?

Pizza Hut's new Detroit-style pizza has some Americans confused. Do not get confused. Who's confused about Detroit pizza? Who is rattled by Detroit-style pizza? Well, to be fair, before I had Via 313 in Austin, I didn't know what Detroit-style was. That was my first experience with it. I've said this before on the pod. Detroit style pizza, as someone being from Michigan,

growing up, Detroit style pizza was never something you died on. It was not a hill that you died on. It wasn't like, oh, it's the best. Because there weren't that many places that actually did it, especially if you lived in Michigan. Is it a new development? No, it's not a new development, but I just don't think that it's a common thing for people to serve.

So unless you're getting Jets or some kind of actual local Detroit place, it just wasn't that popular. And so they weren't doing it elsewhere that often. I never ate Detroit-style pizza growing up. Never? Like what's in Harbor Springs? What did you guys have? Dude, BC Pizza, best choice. Shouts.

They undercook their breadsticks to the point where they're just gooey. It's weird. Oh. Get that garlic butter on there? They look like little slugs. Don't say that. Oh, they're so good. Garlic knots?

Might as well be. The choice style is bomb. It's the bomb. It's the bomb. It's bomb. And I quote, as the New York Times said, 1,000% non-negotiable, the best style of pizza out there. You had to drop the mic moment of the column.

They ended it with you. Ended it no no words after my tweet i'm not gonna thousand percent not gonna lie if if someone submitted a write-up to me at pgp ending it with someone else's take on the on the thing i'd be like man you got to write a conclusion on this you can't just end it with brett's tweet they they said that dude's just the end of it. Yeah, I mean, that's like it's not a long article. Well, it says, Pizza Hut's new rectangular deep dish pie has catapulted Detroit-style pizza

into the national spotlight. The latest iteration of the Italian staple from the Kansas-based chain borrows from a recipe that originated at Buddy's Rendezvous, now Buddy's Pizza Chain, in Detroit just after World War II. The pies are baked in a rectangular round pan and covered in Wisconsin cheese. Red sauce toppings are added last. Like, we've known, have we known what Detroit-style pizza is for longer than when Pizza Hut announced it?

I've known about it for about five years, I think. They have a marketing problem. Because people are like, what's, it's Detroit-style? Like, is it like a thing? Or is it just kind of a, but no, it's Detroit style? Like, is it like a thing or is it just kind of a, but no, it's a totally a thing where Chicago

has the opposite. They have a, they have a, they're too branded to the point where people are like, that's not even real Chicago pizza, dude. No,

real Chicago pizza is actually thin crust. We've gone in on Chicago deep dish before. Cezanne. It's just, it's just not good. It's just not good pizza.

In my opinion, like, I think that Detroit style is just like a much – it's like somebody took Chicago style and just made it way better. They were like, all right, let's get rid of all this bullshit and we can actually have good pizza. It's like someone ate Chicago style and they're like,

I like what they want to do, but it's just too much. It's too thick. If they just dialed the thickness back some, then they made Detroit style, and they crushed it. Have you updated your Twitter bio to say, like, Detroit style pizza influencer? No, but I should. I think I am the all things pizza have to go through me at this point.

I am published. It's like when we had an old partner of the pod, Fulton and Rourke, they referred to Micah as the leading, a leader in men's grooming. And Micah pretty much plastered his entire social feeds with just being the leader in men's grooming. Action. The only thing I don't love about it is it's heavy.

Detroit? Yeah. And so I just feel crazy full. To me, it's surprisingly not heavy. Chicago's heavy, heavy. But Detroit kind of, I think it's deceivingly light for me. Jets is very heavy. Okay, I haven't had Jets. VF313 is not.

I'm thinking strictly VF. Yeah. Jets is a little thicker. It's thick. Low-key? It's just like they just pack in more dough somehow. I don't know. It's just a little doughier.

But it's very good. Okay. There's a thing. Somebody came at me and was like, well, Sicilian's very good. Okay. There's a thing. Somebody came at me and was like, well, Sicilian's like the same thing. Eh. Sicilian's more like. Sicilian is regular. The cheese is above the sauce, but it's thicker, like more of a pan-looking crust.

Okay. It's thicker. I don't know how else to describe it. Saucy butter cheese is a move. Yeah. I don't know if I love it. I think I do. Yeah.

I think I really like it. I think I really like it. The cheese is more connected with the dish at that point. God, I can't wait for the Reddit comments on this thing. Dude, they can't come at me. I'm an influencer. Yeah, you are. You are. wait for the Reddit comments on this thing. Dude, they can't come at me. I'm an influencer. Yeah, you are.

You are. You're the Will Commodillan. Should I feel cucked by you? Because you're the Detroit guy? Well, I'm not really

the Detroit guy, but just kind of the Michigan pride. No, it's okay. I think you should be proud of me. I am proud of you. I am proud of you.

I have no bad taste in my mouth. Probably because we're talking about Detroit style pizza, right? Yeah, I mean. Do you still have that brick oven at Wilmot's? No.

When I told Tide to get a brick oven, he came back with a brick of something else. And we had to throw it in the ocean. And it kept on washing up. And then Tide said he'd handle it. And then he showed up with a gold watch a week later. It was very weird. Wow. Good for him.

I was like, are you telling cocaine now, Tide? Can't trust that guy, man. Real G's move in silence like Chicago pizza, right? One of my buddies asked me this weekend, they're like, do you know who Tide is? He's like, do you run the Tide account? I was like, no, I don't. No clue who Tide is.

We don't want to know who Tide is? He's like, do you run the Tide account? I was like, no, I don't. No clue who Tide is. We don't want to know who Tide is. Still don't know. He's like, do you know who runs the Washed Mimi account? I'm like, no. Or the Hello Wilmonds

Instagram account? Yeah. We don't know. It's all just kind of a beautiful mystery. And that's how I'd like to keep it. I enjoy it.

Yeah, so please don't come forward. Yeah. We don't want to know. Unless it's at a meetup. Maybe at a meetup, because then I can buy you like a Mai Tai as a token of my appreciation. Mai Tide? Mm-hmm.

Does Little Caesars count as Detroit style? No. Unless they have one. I don't even know if they have a Detroit style pizza. Okay. You think they should, right? It's just known as the Detroit one. Pizza Pizza.

Which is coincidentally also a pizza place. They do have a Detroit style. I've never had it, honestly. It's been a really long time since I've had Little Caesars. The only Little Caesars in Austin is not near me. That's like the forgotten pizza chain. I never think about Little Caesars. Oh, see?

Pizza Pizza. Pizza Pizza. With a guy on the stick. It's not even like Greek style, you know? Well, they like funded my sports teams growing up. So any championship I have, I can pretty much just like, dude. Their junior hockey team was dope. Little Caesars and Honey Bay Tam.

They had the $5 grab and go like full pepperoni pizzas. Like just sitting there. I lived on those for like two years. Yeah. Big time college talent. Hot and ready. Hot and ready. Hot and ready. Hot and ready. Hot and ready. Hot and ready.

Hot and ready. Hot and ready. Yeah. Man. I can't. Austin really doesn't. The pizza scene here is, as a pizza influencer, it's just not great. See, I disagree.

I have so many different pizzas and different styles of pizzas within Austin that I just absolutely love. And I've gotten to the point where I don't even have like a take on what pizza is the best. I just like them all. Via is my favorite pizza of all time. I will say that. Of all time?

All time. Yeah. Wow. It is good. And as a pizza influencer, the sauce is a little spicy for Parks. Oh. Okay. I can't really handle it very well.

I have to scrape some of it off. It's good pizza, man. I can handle it, of course. It's too fancy. I gotta do Jets. I really gotta do Jets. Jets is good. Yeah. It's good pizza, man. I can handle it, of course. It's too fancy. I got to do Jets. I really got to do Jets. Jets is good. Also Detroit, right?

Yeah. It's very good. Let's put Detroit on the map, Will. They're trying to. They're trying to. Do you guys want to talk about this idiot? The stonk dude? I know we talked heavy stonks last week.

Do we know who this guy is? I don't know. He's a guy on CNBC, so he's got to be somebody. msnbc msnbc it's all the same to me yeah so uh this is a guy who had has a take if you will on the whole meme stock craze the uh gamestop amc even those bitcoin in here and let's just hear what he has to say. All right. This is from a guy named Andrew Lawrence on Twitter, but we're going to play the Dan Rejester tweet. Yeah, let's give Dan some love. At Dan underscore Rejester.

Here we go. Fun, fine, maybe it's a movement, but be prepared to lose 80% to 90% of it, and if it's still worth it, then have at it. But the biggest loss of capital here will be the human capital of young men who are sitting and staring at their phone and watching the price of Bitcoin or the price of AMC. And ask yourself, would you be better off taking that one, two or three hours a day and working out, trying to form relationships with mentors, with romantic relationships, with people at work, getting great at something so you can be the person on the other side of the trade.

The greatest loss in capital here is from young men who are more prone to gambling addiction, who don't understand the markets. I think we are setting ourselves up similar to how there's a ton of young women out there who became very depressed by sitting in their rooms looking at Instagram, self-cutting and self-harm skyrocket. I think you are going to see an explosion in young male depression, and I think a lot of it is going to be reverse engineered to apps that convince you you're part of a movement or physically addict you to your phone ask yourself would your time staring at robin hood be be better spent somewhere else

that is the real capital destruction that is taking place here what a self-righteous twat what the fuck we don't know this guy's name can we just come up can we can i propose a name for him yeah we just call him barry for some reason i just got barry't know this guy's name. Can we just come up? Can I propose a name for him? Yeah. Can we just call him Barry? For some reason, I just got Barry vibes from this guy, and I just don't know what to call him, but I feel like we're going to need to say his name at some point. This is unbelievable.

What's this guy's problem? I got news for this guy. As someone who's not been looking at the stocks but looking at Bitcoin a lot lately, if I'm not looking at that, I'm just looking at Twitter anyway. This is not like an either or thing i'm not spending time getting a mentor yeah personal relationship building relationship with a mentor in your spirit shut up yeah guess what my personal relationships that i'm forging right now are talking about stonks in the group chat like that's what we're doing well it's like

people who are not typically you know traders who are like taking a shot at the market and trying to invest. Like, how is that a bad thing? Man, go fuck yourself. Like, everyone deserves a chance to, like, make their financial situations better. Who the fuck are you to say this? Fuck you. I understand where he's coming from when it's talking about staring at your phone. Yeah, it's like staring at your phone.

And I totally – I actually agree with him on like – the self-comparison that you have on Instagram sometimes can be extremely unhealthy. But like, dude, it stonks, man. It's these rich – Everyone's having fun. These rich like blue-haired douchebags who just love the division in class and they want to keep it that way because that's where they're comfortable. They don't want to see other people make money, like common people make money. It's bullshit.

Fuck this guy. Also, think about some of these people that are talking about how they invested. A lot of these people aren't investing a significant amount of money. Oh, I know. People are investing like $100 just so they can be in on the fun. Yeah. lot of money like like people are investing like a hundred dollars just so they can be in on the fun yeah and honestly that's a great way to spend your money right now because if you're having fun with it and enjoying then there's some upside if you can actually cash out and if not then whatever

it's but this is i feel like this is more of a fun internet thing than it is like people trying to like build their personal equity well people are taking a taking a shot at very rich people, hedge funds. Right? Yeah. And he just feels like threatening. It's not the commoner's right to disrupt the market. It's total bullshit. What's – like, I just don't get it.

I hate this guy. What's he talking about? Like women self-cutting and self-harming. What are you talking about? Well, I think that's an actual thing. Okay, but how does that fit in this context? It doesn't. It doesn't. That's the point.

It doesn't. This guy's acting like all of a sudden, because this all happened, we're all sitting here behind our computers looking at Bloomberg and shit. Yeah. No, we're not doing that. We're literally buying stocks

so we can go on Twitter and make jokes and have the repertoire to back it up. Yeah, and rattle douchebags like you, sir. Whatever your name is. Barry. What's Barry's problem? This guy sucks. The fact that he thinks that men are not going to be interested in women after this based

on staunch is absurd. Like we're just all obsessed with staunch? So I had a tweet last week that was a joke that some people didn't take as a joke. That was me just essentially saying that dudes that just got done playing fantasy football need something to gamble on and have a stake in whatever. And, like, obviously that's not just the case. I know this has been happening for, like, this has been in the mix for a long time. Like, but the hardos that are taking all this so seriously, I'm like, dude, shut up.

This is a meme. This is a meme that actually affects people's lives, but it's just a giant, like, real-life meme. Stop. It's Truman Show. I'm going to make an app. Somebody can steal this idea if they want. That's just Tinder, but for staunch. So you swipe through and be like, no, I'm not feeling Bed Bath & Beyond today.

I don't hate that. Don't these assholes on Wall Street and day trader types, don't they just watch the market all day? All day. All day, dude. Why can't we do that? Yeah, this guy's probably watching the market all day, but young people doing it, they're not allowed? You know about candles doing it? Why are you threatened, dog? I want to know how many people Barry's mentoring right now.

Barry's not getting laid. Do I know about kegels? Candles. Oh, candles. Come on, dude. You got to look at candles all day. It's day training. It'd be weird if you were looking at kegels all day.

Yeah, it'd be weird, right? You do the machine at the gym? I hate this guy. I hate this guy i hate this guy you want a uh a super tone deaf blog post that just came out yeah uh robin hood one minute ago just said uh robin hood raises 3.4 billion dollars to fuel record customer growth from ribbit capital iconic andreessen horowitz sequoia index ventures and nea do you see they're like because because everyone hates Robinhood now, like if you sign up now, they're giving you like one share of AMC or something.

Oh, really? Thanks, guys. A little late. The worst ad read copy of all time is the Robinhood copy that says, you get one free stock. That's just not accurate. You get a share. You don't get a stock. And see, I would read that ad copy having no clue that it's even incorrect. Get one free stock. That's just not accurate. You get a share. You don't get a stock. And see, I would read

that ad copy having no clue that it's even incorrect. Get one free stock. It's like you're getting a free share of a stock, but one stock is... It grinds my gears. And a lot of these people that are just now getting involved for the first time knew nothing about the stock market before. Now they're kind of learning on the fly.

They're taking a shot at something and actually learning, like, this is how this works because I'm a chance to learn it, obviously, learn about the market and what it does and how you can make money and lose money on it. And it could absolutely be beneficial in the long run. So it's a healthy thing for the most part. I've invested zero money, which means I have zero gains. I have zero knowledge of the stock market, which is why I invested zero money. And I have no intention to invest any of my own money into the stock market because I have no clue. Come on. No, I just don't know.

I just don't know. I'm keeping it in my bank account and I'm enjoying it. Let's go to – we'll do a beer after this. I'll take you through this. No, I don't want to. I'm happy with my money. Okay. I'm happy with my money right now.

You got dry powder, dude. You didn't have any stocks, dude. Dylan and I have been on the Delta train for a long time. Dude, I'm off Delta. All right, dude. You know that. Okay. I'm happy with my money right now. You got dry powder, dude. You didn't have any stocks, dude. Dylan and I have been on the Delta train for a long time. Dude, I'm off Delta. All right, dude. I know that. Fine. I made a little bit of money

on Delta, though. There he is. Dude, shots at Delta. That's my favorite airline, pound for pound. They do have a great Twitter thing, not Delta, but if you do the cash symbol

in front of a ticker, cash tags are fantastic. That's great. Great intro, like integration with Twitter. They've always had it. Yeah. They've hashtags are fantastic. That's great. Great intro, like integration with Twitter. They've always had it. Yeah. They've always had it.

Like it's been around since early Twitter days because one of the first people I followed, I was like, wait, this guy's putting dollar signs? That's kind of a swag way

of doing a hashtag. Yeah. Fuck. Pretty sick. What would your ticker be? Will. For me? Yeah.

SOCK. SOCK. What would yours be? Gl me? Yeah. S-O-C-K? Sock. What would yours be? Gliss. Yeah. G-L-I-Z. D-O-R-N? No.

Don't say gliss. D-O-R-N would be good. Yeah. D-O-R-N would be good. Yeah. I was talking to somebody at Meanwhile Brewing. Oh, what did you think of it? I've been there before.

I enjoy it. Oh, that's right. I enjoy it. We just had to stop by, grab a beer, say hi to somebody, and then head out. But I was talking to somebody there, and he was talking to me about work and stuff. And I don't think he listens, but I know that he knows you from the old days, Dylan. And he was like, yeah, Dorn. And I was like, yes.

I love that you're just calling him Dorn right now. This is perfect. Thank you. That was funny. Guys, we've got something special coming up. Ooh, what is it? A little something I like to call Worst Weekend. What?

It's not a Worst Weekend story. What a treat. But if we were doing a Worst Weekend episode, this would be included in it as one of the news stories that I always like to include. But before we do it, if you had a bad weekend to yourself, I think you need to introduce yourself to Liquid IV. Oh, I love this stuff, man. Your boy got a big packet of Liquid IV in the mail,

which means Randy's going to get some very soon because I've got a surplus. Get some, Randy. Randy should be very happy about that. Randy, can you blink twice to me if you enjoyed your Kygo Pina Colada Liquid IVs? Wow, he blinked four times. Wow, he really likes it. He really likes it. You guys probably all know about Liquid IV.

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I'm pretty much in on anything with ginger. I'm a big ginger boy. Are you? We can tell. You married one. Oh, true. Maybe I pretty much in on anything with ginger. I'm a big ginger boy. Are you? We can tell. You married one. Oh, true. Maybe I am all in on gingers. What about that?

Dylan's a big ginger root guy. Really? He shaves it off. He would have no clue what to do with a ginger root. No clue. I don't know what to do with a ginger root. I had to eat one once. Were you trying to become a member

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Oh, no. I don't want to give out Alyssa's Instagram handle, but she posted a story of Dave holding roads. Let's go. It's mega cute. Let's go. Oh. All right.

You boys ready? Yeah. You boys ready for what's about to happen? Jingle bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells, bells. I don't care. I'm getting wasted. Fuller, go easy on the country. There are people out there who have never heard this theme song and they listen to this podcast. Oh, imagine. It's the best beat we have.

Can you imagine not listening to the worst of on Patreon? Let's go. I'm just picturing somebody out there like The Chant who just turned his car stereo way up for that. Oh, you have to. There's a bunch of backers who are in Opto, which I can't imagine not being Opto yet, who just like are sitting in their cars right now just with that disgusted look on their face. They're going to be like, this is what I've been missing this whole time? Shit. Imagine.

So in Canada, ever heard of it? Our friends in the north? Mm-hmm. Well, so a Brit – actually, no, this isn't even in Canada. This was a dude in the UK. This just has to do with Canada because of the person involved. Celine Dion? You ever heard of her? Oh, yeah.

Her heart goes on pretty far. A bit of imbibing while watching a Celine Dion concert on YouTube has left Thomas Dodd with a new name for the new year. Shouts to Thomas Dodd. A new name? While watching one of the singer's concerts, the Staffordshire, England man drunkenly thought it would be a great idea to change his name to that of the Canadian Chanteuse. Is Chanteuse the word? Chanteuse? I'm 0 for 2 on Chantouse and imbibing.

Imbibing is just drinking. What is Shantouse? I'm imbibing, dude. I've never heard of Shantouse. This is just a really cocky word to use in this column. But as a result, he went online in order to have his name legally changed, electronically filing the paperwork, and then paying the fee, and he completely forgot about it until a thick envelope arrived in the mail

containing all the paperwork related to his new legal name, Celine Dion. I've heard of people, like, drunk Amazon-ing. You know, like getting on there at 2 a.m. after a long night and you're just buying weird shit. But this is next level. It says, according to the former Thomas Dodd, he, quote, nearly passed out in my kitchen

when he opened the envelope and dimly remembered what he had done. Quote, my initial concern was how on earth do I tell the HR department at work that I need to change my email footer? He did look on the bright side. He says, now I'm thinking it could be a great way to get backstage at one of the actual Future Dion concerts.

I mean, is he changing it back? He says he's not. He's not planning on changing it back. Why? He said, he's like, I'm slightly obsessed with her. I'm not going to lie. So even though he barely remembers doing it, he has no intention of undoing the name change. He says, I'll figure it out.

I'm not rushing back to change it. That's for sure. I tried singing Celine in the shower this morning, and I can assure you, everyone, that I haven't inherited her voice or bank balance. This is amazing. The dude's just rolling with it. Okay. You have to like do some,

like, I don't know where to go to just change my name. I'm sure you could like, it takes some effort is what I'm trying to say. It has to be much easier in England, right? Why? Because I feel like if I tried to get online and change my name right now,

so like Sally has been changing her name and it's a lot more difficult to do in COVID times. This is because of marriage, obviously. It's a lot more difficult to do in COVID times because you can't just go in places and do stuff. So she's been doing it all by mail, and it's taken her months. She finally has Sally DeVries on her actual driver's license, and this just happened a couple days ago. Wow. So I don't know how in England you can just change your name so easily, but this guy did the electronic paperwork and just went through with it. Yeah, it must be a much easier process over there.

Like what if you got hammered one night at your place? Like you had a bottle of rosé with a nice young lady, and you just got a little tipsy because you didn't eat much, and then you woke up the next morning feeling pretty bad about yourself, but you brush off your hangover. And then like weeks later in the mail, you get something that says you changed your name legally to Post Malone.

What would you do? Posty? I would not tell anybody, and I would immediately start the paperwork to change my name back. It costs some money to change your name, too. Yeah, it's not cheap. It's a few hundred bucks, I think. I think Sally is in, like, $300 at this point.

Yeah, yeah. That's so funny. Just throw another R-E at the end of your name. Yeah. Have you ever done something like completely blackout and then not known that you did it until weeks later or maybe like a few days later? I'm not talking about like something stupid you did, but have you ever done something like this where you like ordered something or anything like that? No, nothing like this.

I once got pretty drunk with some friends and I think we had been talking about how tight like linen suits were. And I woke up the next morning after getting very, very drunk and saw that I had ordered a several hundred dollar linen suit. Not even a suit, like more of just a chill vibe outfit that made out of all linen. And I had ordered it the night before at like 4 a.m that's pretty sick and i decided to let it arrive in the mail and unfortunately it did not fit me properly so i returned it promptly damn uh got a new credit card one time and had a pretty hefty

limit on it so uh your boy was was rolling in it for a 22 year old it's not my money obviously but thank you mx uh decided to go to a bar and you know ended up flirting with somebody and and uh she and i booked a ski weekend my credit card the first night we met for like a cool 7500 did you do the ski weekend no i did not how much of that was refundable 100 okay%. Okay. Within 24 hours, I was on the Airbnb phone, very, very panicked. But it worked. Wow. Say that. God. God. I've never done anything like that, thankfully. Espresso martinis, Dylan. They'll get you. Yeah, because you get all pumped up. I've never had it. I've actually never had an espresso martini. Are you serious?

That's blasphemy to Brett. Are you serious? Yeah, but it's more because I don't like drinking coffee at night. Any espresso martini meme you've ever done on Sunday Scaries? I've never done one. I've never done one. You can look at the entire feed. Wow.

I was about to be so mad. Actually, maybe I've done one. I might have done one. I might have done one. You can look at the entire feed. Wow. I was about to be so mad. Actually, maybe I've done one. I might have done one. I might have done one. I don't know. I'm just not. It's not for me. It's like espresso martinis or Red Bull vodkas with credit card debt.

I also love martinis. So, like, I'm just always going to go with a regular martini. They're hard to beat. Made one the other day with something new in it. Ready? This isn't new for other people. I'm sure. I mean, numerous people have done it.

The reason I did it is because my buddy's been doing it. Just tell us. Jalapeno stuffed olives. Oh, yeah. Classic. I had never had a martini with them, and I absolutely loved it. I'd had Bloody Marys with them and stuff like that, but having the martini, it's a nice little kick.

Hard to beat the blue cheese stuff, but whatever. See, I had to stop doing blue cheese olives at home because I think I started just eating way too many of them. It'd be like, all right, two for the martini, one for me. And all of a sudden, I'm just eating way too much blue cheese. I'm taking you to get an espresso martini. That's fine. That's fine. Can I go, too, and just get a regular martini?

Yeah, yeah. The most upsetting thing is that apparently the hotel that Sally and I got married at— Happy anniversary, by the way. Well, it's not my anniversary yet. It's got to almost be. We're a couple weeks off. Okay. February 23rd.

I'll be the first to say. I'm accepting gifts from you guys, so just let me know. I still need a wedding gift for you, honestly. I wasn't invited. No, we didn't get any wedding gifts, like hardly at all. I had a pizza stone on the way. Dylan did give us. Dylan was one of the first people to give us a wedding gift.

Yeah, I gave him more money than the Ruffs gave him, just for the record. By $10. Yeah. Dylan knew what the Ruffs were doing. Mark it down. For the record. Okay. Put it in my notes.

Apparently, they have the best espresso martini that people have ever had. Where? Everyone talks about them there. At where we got married. Oh. Montage. You know, I'm staying at Montage Cabo. Ballin'.

Ballin'. Ballin'. You want to go? When are you doing that? March. Just solo? Solo trip, man. Solo make-up. I don't want to go? When are you doing that? March. Just solo? Solo trip, man. I don't want to go ruin that.

I'm doing it between my sister having a baby and the Ruffs. Gotcha. That's tight. Yeah. Just trying to sneak it in there before. Got to be back for that. Cool. Yeah.

Cool. Let me know. You want to go? I mean, I do. I can't really ball out right now. It would be weird if you stayed with me, though. Yeah, I want to stay with you. It's a king bed.

Yeah, no, you're good. Yeah, let me just go by myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Have fun. I'll be here with Will. A king bed can fit like three people. I might hop in and go. It's true.

In the California. Man, we're running low on time, but I just don't think we can skip this final story that I have right now. Yeah, all I know is the headline, and it's a lot. Sex-addicted gamer sues Twitch for $25 million, claiming burned retinas and chafed penis. A lot to unpack there, Will. How long do you have to stare at a screen to burn your retinas? If I haven't burned my retinas by now, then I don't think it's possible. People stare at the screens all day for work, and then the phone's in between work.

So what is he watching? This first paragraph's a ride. Buckle in. Eric Estavilla of San Jose, California, has filed a lawsuit in the Superior Court of Santa Clara and is seeking $25 million in damages from Twitch. In court documents, he claims he suffered burned retinas from staring at the breasts of

female gamers and a chafed penis from constantly masturbating using his electronic fleshlight. Okay. Are you not lubing that thing up? I don't really know how to use a fleshlight. This dude, Eric Estavillo, has just no shame because filing such a lawsuit,

I mean, public information, am I incorrect there? Should we call David? He knows that people are going to know about this. He just doesn't care. He's going after that 25 milli. Bringing things to a, okay, I didn't read the second paragraph until now. It gets way wild there. Bringing things to a climactic head.

Okay, is this satire some writer taking shots here it says the claimant also states that he ejaculated onto his computer monitor causing a small fire and subsequent power outage in his apartment excuse me that's that's not a thing why is he pointing it at his computer screen great great question what are you doing this is even if like i would rather live with burned retinas and a chafed penis than then have the public know that i spent so much time doing that that i think 25 million dollars is an appropriate reward for me what why is twitch to blame here like go on pornhub dude like why why are you shouldn't he be suing he's got a thing for

gamers how do you not sue how do you not sue fleshlight though sure sue fleshlight if you're Go on Pornhub, dude. Why are you... Shouldn't he be suing? He's got a thing for gamers. How do you not sue... How do you not sue Fleshlight, though? Sue Fleshlight if your fucking wiener hurts. He probably is. He probably is. I just don't get it, man. I'm claiming insurance fraud here. I'm thinking he did this on purpose.

There's going to be some dude that sues Watch Media because Dylan's going to start twitching with his shoes off but socks on, and then he's all of a sudden going to be addicted to it, and then all of a sudden our company's going to get taken down. While using the application, Estevio states that he cannot separate male and female live streams, and thus is forced to watch these sexually aggressive females, and

looking into the plaintiff's Twitch account, he subscribes to 786 female profiles and zero males. Oh my god. They use a really aggressive Instagram post in here that they embedded. Yes, they do. I don't want to say that. Well, this isn't like CNBC.

This is a men's interest site. And look, if you click on that headline, you've got to expect something a little raunchy. You don't limp into that headline. Pun intended. This is just a full shot here that's a little aggressive for my taste on a Monday morning. Is Randy off today? I did a limp joke, and he didn't even give me the eyes that he usually gives me when I do a good pun. Biscuit?

Limp? Biscuit? This guy. I need Dave here so I can talk about certain things. Like, if limp biscuit comes up, I just got no one next to me. It's like sad look to the right. This guy needs to spend more time building relationships with mentors and romantic relationships. He really does.

He really does. What's this guy's problem? This guy's just got to stop cranking. He's doing it too much. How much money does he have that he's subscribing to this many Twitch people? Like 700 whatever? That's a lot of people. It's too many. You've got to think he's dropping a lot of money. We need to do something

right now that's been a long time coming. Brett's breaking news. Hey. Gosh, wow. I'll admit, I filled in for Brett last week doing breaking news, and my news doesn't hit the same. No, that's okay. I thought you did a good job.

Your first run at it, it was all footy news. Yeah. You know what it is? No footy news on this. Here, we have a new theme song for Brett's Breaking News. This is like... I like that. I like that a lot.

Hey, Will and Dylan. This is nice to be back in the saddle here. Do you want to go a little choose your adventure here? Dylan, since I missed asking you, I'm going to come back to you. Do you want to go shoes, niche Austin landmarks, or fast food robbery? I'm going to be just totally selfish and say Austin niche landmarks? Yeah, niche Austin landmarks. Most people don't care about this, but I do.

All right. Is it about Treaty Oak? What's this about? It's about the broken spoke, Dylan. Oh. My man, James White, the founder and owner of Austin's legendary broken spoke, was laid to rest on Sunday. All right, Dylan. Oh. My man, James White, the founder and owner of Austin's legendary Broke and Spoke, was laid to rest on Sunday. RIP.

He has passed. 1939 to 2021, good run. Mm-hmm. Good run. In a legendary establishment. The last time I was there, Will and I drank pitchers, plural of light beer. You know what? No one's doing pitchers anymore. I just realized that. You don't see pitchers. plural of light beer. You know what? No one's doing pitchers anymore.

I just realized that. You don't see pitchers. Broken Spokas. And I will say, when we walked in, they didn't like us there. Nope. They took one look at us and said, You're yuppies. They were like, why is that guy wearing joggers in the Broken Spokas right now?

By the end of it, bartender loved us. Loved us. She wanted us to stay all night. That's the last time I also took her. Bring pitchers back. I overtipped hard on my first drink just to make sure that we didn't get our asses kicked uh also the last place I've ever taken a photo with a flip phone remember that yeah someone someone asked Brett to take a photo like a

squad photo and they handed him a flip phone to take it with oh really did you even know how I I did well it was so jarring that I think Will took a picture of me taking a picture of the flip phone. That's hilarious. Only at the Broken Spoke. Only at the Broken Spoke. Is that going to happen? I don't think we went in the back. The back is where the two-stepping happens.

Yeah, the back is where the dancing happens, and we were a little too scared to enter the back. Because I was also told, this is one of the reasons that I hesitate to go to Broken Spoke often, even though I live literally a stumbling distance from it, is that I was told one time that if a lady asks you to dance there, you have to do it. You can't turn her down. And I don't know how to two-step or anything there. Why do you have to say yes? It's easy to go one.

I will say no. Because it's gentlemanly. No, I'll say no. Because it's gentlemanly, Dylan. Come on, dude. You get kicked out. I got an old football injury. I can't.

Sorry. I think it says a lot about Brett and I that they weren't asking us to dance. They were just asking us to take photos of them. They were like, yeah, these guys look like modern day Instagram douchebags. Yeah, the guy in the wool bomber probably, you know. My outfit that night was actually Torch, if I'm being honest. Of course it was. This dude was so loved.

The Baroque Dispo was such a staple. George Strait put up a Facebook post eulogizing the guy. The album, George Strait's most recent album, the cover of the album is Baroque Broken Spoke is such a staple. George Strait put up a Facebook post, like, eulogizing the guy. The album, George Strait's most recent album, the cover of the album is The Broken Spoke. Really? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Man. If you want to shed a little tear, drive by and read the sign.

How does it say? It's just sad. It's just a sad sign. They're commemorating him. Oh, man, there's a lot of flowers in front. Is that place going to stay open much longer? That's the fear. It sounds like they might not.

I kind of hope that the city of Austin rallies around because if the broken spoke goes away, South Lamar is going to look like shit. The broken spoke is a staple driving down South Lamar just being like, apartment building, apartment building, apartment building. Austin staple. I love how the driveway is like

the parking lot is like dirt. Keep that. They have a smoker out front. Yeah. Yeah, it looks like it belongs in just a small hill country town. I think they might have taped some stuff there for Saturday Night Lights as well. They did some bar scenes there. Yeah, Saturday Night Lights.

I truly, truly hope that Austin can sit. Friday Night Lights? Are you doing a joke? What did I say? Saturday Night Lights. You're doing Saturday Night Lights. That's the college football version. Yeah, dude. Sorry.

My brain's on the boys right now. SNL. Right. Damn. So RIP James White. We'll have to get there at some point again. The city of Austin needs to make it a historical landmark so it can't go anywhere. I'll do a picture there.

I think we might just need to. If they have any kind of GoFundMe thing, I think we should just start pumping that thing. We'll see. Will, would you like to go shoes or fast food crime? I think I'm going shoes. Okay. Randy, can you help me out?

Nike... Oh, God. We didn't go with the high-res. I'm glad we found the high-res photo for this. Nike has released their first truly hands-free shoes. I was hoping Randy would have the video here, but we just have the picture.

What are these? Are these high heels? Hands-free, meaning you just slide your foot in. You slide your foot in and see how the back comes up. Oh, it clamps. Yeah, I see.

Yes. So see how you slide it in the top and then you press down and it kind of folds down. I'm not going to lie. I don't hate this. There it is.

There it is, Randy. Look at this. Am I about to cop? You might catch your boy in these things. These are fire. The Nike Go Fly Ease. Dude, these are kind of tight. Those are tight.

Oh, yeah. I wonder if they're comfortable. I think they might be. These look like the same material as the Nike Reacts that I have. And if they are that same material, I might be getting these. These are dog walking shoes that I've ever seen.

That is a quality in a shoe that I look for. A lot of... What do you call the design when it's just one solid piece? Adidas does it all the time. I know what you're talking about. I don't know.

I don't know what the design's called. But those are pretty good. But usually you still have to, like, bend down and, like, at least tug on the back to pull it up a little bit. Not these bad boys. These are sick. I'm entranced by this video of him just walking in and out of them. On shag carpet, it appears. The Nike Go Fly Ease will be available via invite, so I don't know if we're Nike influencers yet.

These are going to be expensive, aren't they? Yeah. Available for select. available via invite so I don't know for Nike influencers yet he's gonna be expensive aren't they yeah available for select who's gonna like cover these and talk about how much they hate him oh yeah like they are and then we're just gonna look like total dorks there it hates these I already know it no he I think he's gonna like him I mean they

look good too they are available for select Nike members February 15th with broader consumer availability planned for later this year I hate to say this. I'm probably copying these. Three colorways as of right now. The ones you're looking at, an all black version. And then one that looks like a dinosaur.

Dinosaur? I'll get those for the homie. Randy. Randy's just scrolling now. It's okay. Okay. What's the last one? In Colorado Springs, Colorado,

armed robbers remain on the run after holding up three fast food restaurants last night. Police say the crime spree started at 4 a.m., and in the span of an hour, the crooks hit a McDonald's, another McDonald's, and a Carl's Jr. with guns robbing fast food shops. How much cash is kept in the drawers at a fast food place?

Honestly, like $400 probably. Are people even doing cash in COVID? No. I've had a $100 bill in my wallet that I got for, actually, honestly, Dylan, it's probably from you for my wedding. I've had it in my wallet forever because no one will take cash. I've been trying to break this thing for months. If you're robbing to get food, okay.

Cash? What are you? You don't rob food three times in one hour, though. No, especially to McDonald's. Unless you're just really hungry. They didn't have breakfast. He's like, what the fuck? We're going to hit the one down the street.

Maybe they just wanted those new spicy nugs that are coming back out. You see that? McDonald's releasing their spicy nugs again. Isn't somebody doing another chicken sandwich?

Like Wendy's is? Shake Shack is doing their own chicken sandwich. And it's like, I think it's like a Korean chicken sandwich. It has a very Asian sauce on it. And it looks incredible.

I need to go try it. Maybe I'll do it for lunch. Maybe. There you go. Between Limp Bizkit stuff, chicken sandwich news coming out, we just missed Dave. Yeah, I know. But he's got more important things, I guess. Like a child.

Oh, yeah, the kid. Forgot about the kid. Shots to Rhodes. Yeah, shots to Rhodes. Maybe a Rhodes Scholar someday. You never know.got about the kid. Shasta Rhodes. Yeah, Shasta Rhodes. Maybe a Rhodes Scholar someday. You never know. That'd be tight. Rhodes, the Rhodes.

Any truth to, at some point down the line, if you ever have a kid, you will continue the tradition of naming them after infrastructure, like parks. I did enjoy someone floating bridges. Parks, roads. I just, yeah, until that post, i didn't put it together i didn't either that's funny until backers started pointing it out i was like oh yeah we do have parks and roads now yeah that's pretty funny we're just really big in the city infrastructure yeah bridges is kind of bridges it is it is how does it come up well boys oh man It's been fun.

Big night tonight. Bachelor. I do think Dylan's on to something. I think heads are rolling tonight. I think if there's a one-on-one date tonight with somebody that's kind of a fringe person, they're going home immediately. Mark my words. Can I break some immediate news real quick before we go?

Frazier revival at Paramount+. Let's go. They've been talking about it for a while. I've been a little worried about it. I think they're going to do an okay job. We'll see. It's going to be tough without Marty there, though. May he rest in peace. A fun episode. Great time. Bye. you