Circling Back - Drunk Frontier Bro & 40-Ounce Coffees

Episode Date: August 4, 2021

The weekend? Yeah, it’s close. Start it off by listening to us riff on the drunk Frontier airlines bro whose parents are worth over $2 million, Detroit Lions Head Coach Dan Campbell’s AGGRESSIVE coffee order, a PSA about cranking, This Weekend in Fun, and Brett’s Breaking News. Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (18:00) Drunk Frontier Bro (35:46) Dan Campbell’s Coffee Order (47:56) PSA: Keep Jacking (58:54) This Weekend in Fun (1:08:00) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Ritual: www.ritual.com/circlingback (10% off) Keeps: www.keeps.com/steam (First Month FREE) Birddogs: www.birddogs.com (STEAM for free football) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

All right, we're back circling back podcast presented by busy heart cells to the only heart south of the vitamin C and super fruit acerola. My name's Will DeFreeze, a.k.a. Horatio Sands. To my left, David Ruff. Man, I'm just kind of reading up on this Delta Plus variant. I don't know about you guys, but I'm ready for the Delta Bus variant. That's the one I'm looking forward to. What are the side effects of that one

just bussing really okay it's just the most bussing variant really wow you guys seen this dude i mean what is this this uh a strain of uh coronavirus or is this like uh i don't know another streaming service saw that joke a few times yesterday hit the button hit the laugh track jeez i mean like it's hard enough to watch the olympics as is don't need another one i feel like it's not that hard to watch oh yeah if you want to watch slovenia yeah it is you have to have the mbc sports app maybe you should support our our home nation and not just be watching slovenia all the time if there is a gold medal game between Slovenia and the United States, if you think I'm going to be flying red, white, and blue, you're wrong.

That's sad, man. I was told that they already negotiated that if those two teams are in the gold medal game that they're just going to split it. Oh, no. Really? Yeah. They're not even going to play it? No.

They're going to just be like, you know what? Dude, we both made it this far. Let's just both get gold. Just dap up? I guess that's how they roll in the high jump culture. Yep. No winners there. Just splitting medals.

Gold medals. But it was a nice story, though. Hey, weren't you worried about the up dog variant? No, but I'm trying to catch the ligma variant. Why? It's hurting sick. I don't know. I have a major issue.

Hey. What? What? Are you going to intro me? Dylan Chivary. So this big coffee mug, what I do is I go get two Venti's and I put them in here. We're doing this in like 30 minutes. I add extra espresso shots.

It's like a double black eye basically. I hate you. It's 40 ounces. I hate you. We just burned through our entire rundown intro can we talk briefly about the the high jumpers splitting the metal why are you okay with this dylan i thought it was a cool moment two guys who've who have been training a very long time to get there and instead of i mean i understand wanting to jump off of course and being the solo

owner of a gold medal, but I thought it was cool the way they just like, you know what, let's just both take it. Did you watch the video where they decided to split up the medal? Yes, I did. Did you think it was a little weird that they had so much say in what was going on? I'm surprised that the Olympic Committee let them do that, actually. I feel like it was such a nice moment between those two guys. And they were so happy that they both won the gold that like,

even if there was a rule, the guy was just like, yeah, it'd be kind of like awkward to enforce it now. I'm just going to walk away. It was a clout play. Cause they both got more recognition for doing that than they would have had.

They just won gold individually. I feel like the guy who answered that question is kind of answered off the cuff and didn't really know if he could actually do that. The guy like making the medals like, Oh, we don't have another goal. They ran in totally different directions, and it was like, yeah, no, if we run as far away apart from each other, they can't bring us back in order to give us or say that we have to do a jump off.

The Italian guy was much more elated at the decision than the guy from Qatar. I don't know if he was. I think they both were. What's that supposed to mean? I think he knew that a jump off, he probably wouldn't. Oh, Cutter was winning that jump off. Yeah. I don't know.

The Italian dude hadn't missed a jump in the entire Olympics. Yeah. What are you trying to say about Italians in general? He's not taking a shot at his people. You can calm down over there, dog. No, I don't really like what you're insinuating. Are you saying that the Italian people are emotional? I'm saying that maybe he was not wanting to jump off,

and he was very happy that he got to just split the goal. Sometimes I want you to jump off. I'm always trying to jump off. I'm trying to pop off. Jump off the pod? Hey, weren't you sending Lent pics over the weekend? What pics? Lent pics. Lent pics? Never mind. off the pod hey weren't you sending limp picks over the uh the weekend what picks limp picks lent picks never mind like of my like lent from the dryer what do you mean yeah totally yeah i

was doing that what's this guy talking about david i really i can't save him i don't know i'm just gonna have some more of my coffee i think he said limp being a jerk said You said limp with a P. Did you? Mm-hmm. Limp pics. Limp pics. Like, you mean limping? Because I walk with a limp? Because you broke your leg trying to dunk? Oh, yeah.

Okay. All right. Took a while to get there. It's double venti hitting. Shut up. You didn't get a double venti. I literally saw you walking with a nut. More like a correnti or something.

You didn't... What's that word in italian what's 40 in italian dave man look it up you don't know man you're no i'm tired no i don't know not to i'm not going to feed your cute little bit over here making fun of the italians 40 40 40 40 40. there's not 40 of anything in that. The only thing 40 is the guy drinking it. I put my OE in here, too. Bang! Look, he's trying to get a dap from you. You guys can knuckle. Here, we can knuckle.

No, no, no, no. It's different. Bring it in. Reach across. You're kind of alone over there. Touch me. Yes! I hate you.

I made contact. Okay. So anyway, guys, stay safe. Right. The Delta Plus. Do we want to do some announcements? Little announces before we get into the thick? Like Delta Minus.

We don't want that. I'm sorry. Go ahead, Will. I got a lot of jokes. They're not good. What's your deal? I don't know. Dylan's... I can't clear my Will. I got a lot of jokes. They're not good. What's your deal? I don't know. I can't clear my throat.

I can't do it. It's really frustrating. I can't clear my throat when I'm with you. Do you want me to mute you for a little bit? I can't clear my throat. I think I finally caught the lick. No, no, no. I'll just mute you for a while.

That's fine. Go follow Circling Backpot and Watch Media on the Grom. If you want the hottest Spider-Man content in the world, look no further than Watch Media. Leave a review and five-star rating. Tell a friend about the podcast. Hey, that post offended me. If each and every person told one friend about the podcast,

I think technically speaking we would double our listenership. Only if it was a 100% conversion rate, which is not going to happen. Why don't you believe in the good in people? Yeah. You always are so cynical. Just believe that people will do it. Have the backers ever let you down? If one of my friends is like, hey, listen to this podcast.

I'm like, yeah, okay, sure. The only pod you listen to is the Mind of Micah with Curry on it. I actually listened to that yesterday. It's a pretty good pod. I haven't heard it yet, actually. You know what? I thought you were all about listening to it. I want to.

I don't have time. When was the last time you listened to one of the pods we had recorded that you were on? I think very recently. I only listen to Circling Back. Oh, really? If I know that it's one of the episodes that's hitting, if we're just up here just spitting, then I'll run it back. But, oh, yeah, that was sick.

Kind of like a confidence builder. Were you trying to say? Monday's episode wasn't that because we're in a new studio and we're all feeling it out? I thought Monday's episode was fantastic, actually. Tuesday's Bachelor pod was very good. People were saying that you weren't doing great on it. No, I – Will and I were really carrying the team.

No, you weren't. I had a couple good lines. You did. Even though I didn't even watch the show. You made me laugh once. That was tight. I didn't watch the show, and I still busted. If you want to know what we're talking about,

we're talking about our patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast, or you can just go to www.itspodcastweek.com, and you can listen to all of our Patreon episodes. Yesterday we did Bachelorette recap. One episode left of The Bachelorette, and then we got voicemails dropping tomorrow. And if you want to sign up on Patreon, or if you're already signed up, you can edit your subscription. You can go annual.

You guys aware of this? Annual. I'm seeing people go Annie on them. People are going Annie? They're hitting that Annie button. Annie doesn't work. Annie works. You can just say annual.

It's 10% off. Go do it hey you're not gonna tell people how your laptop is like the home for podcast week since it's just full dude my laptop is the is the is the technical embodiment of podcast week i tried to open photoshop this morning to make a fucking graphic just one graphic and it said that i had no room left on my laptop so i decided to like had i had to do the thing where you google like how do i delete stuff from my laptop whatever the most depressing google ever and i went and it turns out that i was storing 100 gigabytes of podcast podcasts on my laptop giga with a g this is not back episodes of circling back it's just that, I guess any podcast that I'm subscribed to has been

downloaded onto this machine. What? Had to delete a hundred megabytes, or gigabytes worth of podcasts today. Dude, you're a big podcast guy. Dude, I'm the podcast guy. Everyone knows that. It's always podcast week when I got the lappy open. What's your problem? I might have to go

just like hawk one up in the bathroom. After you just came in here, I'm not going to say. You said you were feeling amazing. Yeah, you came in here and you were like peacocking. I feel great. The people don't want to hear me like clean my throat over and over again. You were talking about how your insides felt better. You literally said that.

Oh, yeah. You said my insides feel so cleansed right now. And now you have phlegm that you can't get out of your throat. My insides are absolutely busting right now. What are you doing? I feel great, man. Stop it. I feel fantastic.

Just a little phlegmy, that's all. Jeez, man. Another goal for the Italians. Are they going to run away with this? No. Who's winning the gold medal race right now? China. U.S.

It's China. It's U.S. China's leading in gold, the gold medal race oh gold overall medals is u.s gold is china i don't care about anything but gold that's all that matters to me what if we lost to like italy in the in the in the gold medals or slovenia because because they split one with uh cotter during the high jump like that'd be devastating i don't think we have anything to worry about.

I think we have a significant lead over the Italians. Are they even top 15? Yeah the Italians are weak. Top 10.

Why do you have to go to Italians like that? I thought you were one of them. It's because when you went there you thought they

were going to roll up the red carpet and they just made fun of your hat. Dude they loved my hat. They're like

dude sick fedora. Everyone there had the exact same hat on that's why I got one. No they didn't. did i don't think they did i promise you i don't think so dude the the panama how are you kidding it's just gonna be weird like when like 30 years down the line you're gonna be looking through like all the photos from your old vacations just being like wow i was killing it back then and you're gonna have to see yourself in a fedora. Look at this photograph. Italy has six golds. I'm wearing a fedora.

Six golds. It's more than you have. China has 32. U.S. has 25. Are you putting an asterisk next to that one Italian gold? Yeah. The sixth? Because, I mean, look, if you have a chance to do a jump off,

the people want a jump off. There's never a scenario where it's like, hey, do you want to jump off or no would you i'm always going to choose jump off but if you were that the italian guy and i was like i can guarantee you a gold medal right now or you can maybe beat this guy who's really fucking good what would you do well they're both really fucking good they're both like previous world champions i don't know if we should be letting the actual athletes make up the rules i don't know big o big Olympic will over here. IOC will or whatever. I don't support any countries. I only support

the IOC. You're a law and order guy. Big law and order in the Olympics guy. I just want everyone to have a well-structured, fair Olympics, and that's all I care about. Can you remind me why Russia is performing under roc i

was gonna say can someone explain to me like i'm five why this is happening why are they here because russia's banned okay but they're not because they're all playing right it's uh it seems like a rather large loophole that they've just walked their entire country through we all know that that's russia right the rock is still alive yeah people don't talk about that enough that they had a um a state-sponsored doping cheating scandal that was like so elaborate it was like something out of like a it was like oceans 15 for olympic blood doping this and like it was all for the olympics it was i mean like what's the big deal this this this 30 for 30 ends with them putting a graphic on the screen being like yeah but they all went to the olympics anyway like

why are they ridiculous do they like do they do you get like uh access to resources if you like the more gold you win like is it like oh yeah we can build that pipeline i don't know some countries pay a lot more for golds than others do. I learned the other day. Just saying. Like the dude that got bronze in the golf, he got like triple the money that Shoffley got. Interesting. Yeah. Who was it?

Why? I don't know. Because it's just based on country. Let's talk about Ritual real quick. The multivitamin company that you know and trust. You ever hear of these protein powders? Oh yeah. Uh,

yeah. They can feel intimidating sometimes like no pain, no gain. And their formulas are opaque, not just because they're a powder, but the truth is deep down as in a cellular level, deep down, we all need protein and it's about more than just muscles. So rituals team of scientists,

uh, hello, Harvard ever heard of it? Shouts to the Crimson. They reimagined protein from the ground up and the inside out, and that's how they made it to who it's for and why it's needed. And the result is a delicious plant-based protein,

or as I call it, a PBP. That's what you call it? You could just say plant-based. No, PBP. Offered in three premium formulations for distinct life stages dylan okay come on man and unique nutrient needs all made with the same high standards approach and commitment to traceability that ritual is known for so whether you're doing reps or you're more into dog walks dylan you like both actually i do you like both of those yesterday i hit the gym and i walked stella so

and as you can see i didn't see you they're very stacked right now i did not see you because you is it because you were introduced to the essential protein that's here to shake things up the pbp i'm hitting it you know a lot about ritual you've been taking their vitamins when i got the protein powder in the mail i didn't even know that that was a thing that they did it was a surprise the shaker that it came with is goaded. My son is also on the vitamins, by the way. Shouts to Parks. We're a big ritual vitamin family.

We celebrate their entire catalog, actually. I love that about you. Very nice. That's huge. You deserve to know what you're putting in your body and why. And with their one-of-a-kind visible supply chain, you always know what's in their formulas, where the ingredients come from, why they're included. These just support daily health

for tomorrow as much as today, made with nutrients to support bones, brains, and muscles and help maintain muscle mass as you age. They're just clean PBPs, dog. I hear you, man. They hit different for different stages in the life. You can have 18 plus pregnancy and postpartum, 50 plus.

They got 20 grams of pea protein plus a complete amino acid profile. You guys have not been eating enough peas lately. That's probably fair to say. I ate more peas when I was younger, I'll be honest. My mom made the best peas. It's probably pretty simple.

So much butter. Yeah, shout out Nancy. But there's a protein powder with good taste. It's got delicious handcrafted vanilla flavor made from direct from farmer vanilla bean extract sustainably harvested in Madagascar. Like, are you kidding me? We're sustainably

harvesting vanilla in Madagascar for this stuff? No one saw that coming. Game over. And in terms of standards, their peas are sustainably grown and regeneratively farmed right here in the United States of America. It's some bomb ass pea. Dude, no added sugar, no alcohols. The peas are good.

And like all Ritual products, essential protein is soy-free, gluten-free, and formulated with non-GMO ingredients. So why not shake up your Ritual to make something new less scary? Ritual offers you a money-back guarantee if you're not 100% in love. Plus, our listeners get 10% off during your first three months. Just go to Ritual.com slash circling back and add an essential protein today. That's ritual.com slash circling back. We are not going to gloss over the fact that David just dropped bomb-ass pee during an ad read. Dude, it's the best peas.

Dude, they have the best peas. Dude, they're all sustainably grown and regeneratively farmed right here in the United States. I mean, I get it. What about that aren't you understanding? I do get it. Their peas are goated. Okay. Fair.

Goat peas. Is that what goat milk's made out of? Can I interrupt regularly scheduled programming? Can I say what just happened in a group text I'm in? Sure. I'm the guy who's in so many group texts, man. I'm in too many. This dude's got friends.

Got a couple. No, I'm in one, and it's a bunch of guys from college. Don't really see each other very often. And one of them, his, like, last relationship, it ended, like, three or four years ago. They were pretty serious, and he doesn't really talk about her or talk to her. A guy just out of the blue goes hey blank i just saw blank she's got a kid now and it's just completely yeah it's just like okay dude

like blindside him on a wednesday hey guess what she really moved on with her life she's doing she looks really happy what are the chances it's his kid? It's certainly not. Wow. And has he responded? Yeah, he goes, yeah, I hadn't really thought about her in a while. I'm trying not to. Thank you. Yeah, she married a dentist, man. It's going really well.

They've got a really big house. Oh, my God. Why would you do that? Okay. I'm sorry. That's all. Let's talk about duct tape, man. Let's talk about the okay we all we've all seen this video we tweeted out from circling back yesterday if you haven't seen it pause this podcast right now go to circling back pod and go watch this video and then go back to

the podcast app when you're done watching the video and press play on circling back you don't have to mansplain pausing that's how you know how to do it you pause you go to our thing our twitter no they know what pausing and then you can unpause it and press play uh we have an all-time douche on our hands yeah first team old douche yeah he's this is the chachiest douche i've ever seen so a passenger on his name's maxwell barry 22 of Norwalk, Ohio. Classic Ohio behavior here. Oh, my word. He punched a Frontier Airlines attendant and groped two other attendants on a flight from Philadelphia to Miami, authorities say.

This guy, the video that you see, they ended up duct taping him to a seat, the aisle seat. If you're ever in a position where someone is attempting to duct tape you you're in trouble yes well it could be uh law enforcement it could be plane enforcement they even duct taped his mouth shut that that might be too much which he escaped from how this says this says the trouble began like houdini he shimmied out yeah he houdini'd out of the duct tape this said the trouble began when mr barry ordered his third alcoholic beverage on the flight and brushed his empty cup up against a flight attendant's backside, according to a criminal complaint, which said that the flight attendant told him, don't touch me.

Good for that flight attendant standing up for her or himself. Okay, so this happens monthly. There's flights on planes. There was a pretty wild brawl earlier in the week on one. there's fights on planes there was a pretty wild brawl earlier in the week on one uh instead of duct tape can we get them some zip ties or just some straight up handcuffs like if we're going to detain can we like detain in like a a more formal manner yeah i don't know like people obviously cannot fly like people don't know how to act yeah there's some kind of measure in place for the for instances like this if we're going to serve booze on planes which like i don't

necessarily need i'm not a big drinker on on planes, which I don't necessarily need, I'm not a big drinker on a plane, mainly because I don't like getting up and having to pee three times. This dude does not party. Well, when he got up. I don't like walking back there and seeing that the red light's on. I have to walk back to my seat. Then I get up, and then somebody between me and the bathroom gets up,

and I'm like, well, okay, I'll just fuck off. The red light is on so you don't have to get up to know that someone's in there. Yeah, but like. But they don't let you stand outside and wait anymore. It's just a whole deal. So he did get up to pee, Dave, because he was on his third drink on one flight. And when he emerged from the bathroom shirtless after spilling his drink, he prompted a flight attendant to tell him that he needed to be fully dressed.

I think that's fair. So he popped top. Yeah, he took his shirt off, and the flight attendant helped him get his shirt out of his carry-on luggage, but he walked around the cabin for 15 minutes just hanging out. That's too long to be walking around the cabin shirtless. What are you doing? There are people who obviously just cannot handle alcohol and will act out. This dude is on a level I've never before seen on just acting like a total dickhead when drunk.

Do we know if there was a a medication mix up with it too? That's a good question. I don't know. Like Adderall? No. This seems more than just like the guy's really drunk. Well, maybe. He had to have been drinking at the airport before, right? Like three drinks. Everybody tolerates alcohol differently, but three's not putting you in

get duct tape to the seat mode. If there is an amount of money that your parents need to be worth in order for you to drop that your parents are worth that much money when you're trying to flex on people, it's way more than $2 million, right? It is, but also,

that's never anything you should ever drop on anybody. No, no, no. I'm not saying anyone should ever say, like, my parents are worth this much. You should never say that. But $2 million is not enough to flex on people.

You're not thinking about this, though. What if your dad happens to own a dealership? It's true. True. Well, like, he's a former texas quarterback or something yes damn dude you had to do it tool sorry i did it like saying that your reference was completely lost on me and i'm i'm sorry i don't know just i'm just making fun of texas quarterbacks not playing in the nfl and more just like go ah you get it you get it yes now? Yes, yes, yes. Hey, Will. Good one.

Hook them. Just kidding. Sorry. Did you take Adderall like two minutes ago? No, I had a black eye on my way in today. Have you noticed how he drinks out of that mug? He like lifts it up. It's too big for you.

I just dropped the 40th ounce down the gullets, by the way. You have not had 40 ounces of coffee. Are you serious? Are you kidding? 40 ounces to freedom. Do I look like I'm capping right now? You might be capping. This guy said that

his grandpa is worth more than the person across the aisle's life. I don't think that's a nice thing to say to anyone. This kid is the worst kid of all time. Is this worst case scenario if you're the dad of this kid? Yes. Like, if one of our sons did this, wouldn't you just be absolutely devastated? Oh, this is humiliating to the entire family.

You send them to school, you send them to rehab, and then you hope the internet forgets. The internet never forgets. you hope the internet forgets the internet never forgets but if you act this way when you get drunk don't you don't you know this by now like don't you have like a he's 22 22 no no if he was 27 i'd say yeah maybe he's 22 yeah but he dude maybe he's just on a wave that we don't understand at this point like maybe he's just maybe. Maybe his shit just doesn't stink so much at college right now that he just thinks he can do anything. I kind of want to see the video of him getting removed from this seat after everybody clears out and them just ripping off the duct tape.

That's got to be painful. Here's the question. Do they let everyone else deplane before they get him off, or do they send people in? If you're in the back, are you fake dapping them up as you're walking by yes like hey do you drink walking by saying imagine how many camera rolls out there just have like just shots of this guy and duct tape just chilling right now it looked like it looked like there was like a impromptu like famous look like paris sultan walked through a casino or something yeah because the amount of phones

out with the with the lights down yes this guy was going to miami and he might have dipped into his stash a little too early yeah so what also the the flight attendant the crew was suspended because they they didn't follow protocol when duct taping him to the seat which makes sense what's protocol i don't know what it is but it wasn't that there is more information regarding their suspension. Are you aware of this? No. This is normal, apparently. If there is not duct taping someone to a seat is normal.

It's like being on administrative leave. Yeah, it's normal that after a traumatic experience on a flight, they give that team of flight attendants like a week off, seven to 10 days, I read, paid just to do an investigation as to what happened and whether or not that should have happened like that. But I don't think there are any indications currently saying that, like, these people are going to lose their jobs or anything. Yeah, you're right. Frontier released a statement and said as much, yeah. Did the captain have to go back there and get some licks in because like no sometimes you see that you'll see one of the pilots like hey man so law enforcement met them at the gate and then says flight attendants will be as required in such circumstances relieve the flying pending complete investigation of the events so the dude

was uh he was arrested oh yeah he got booked yeah good book line and i got the mugshot here too this kid stinks man you can't like you can't be that like is there anyone cool named maxwell you can't flex two million dollars yeah maxwell besides the man the man only known as maxwell i think i'm just gonna start going by will just will like no no last name what does that do for sally and fritz lilmon he can keep his name dude that's good that's his name yeah what's sally's name baymon no she's salgal okay we've got salgal and lilmon and'm Wilmont. This kid is unemployable. Moving forward. It doesn't matter.

His dad's got two million. Will, you need, like, one of those photos on the back of your car. Or, like, the stickers that has, like, the stick figure family. But, like, they're all wearing Hawaiian leis and, like, sick Hawaiian shirts. Dude, I don't think I'd hate that. Yeah, that's not bad. I don't hate that. I honestly hate those stickers so much. And little dog they get the little dog there too

it's like yeah we got a dog how beaten down do you have to be to have one of those stickers on your car oh that would be a funny uh bet payoff i get that like you just but it's like an it's like eight eight stick figures people are like oh this dude you have to have rivers over here what's the worst bumper sticker for a a fantasy football payoff, what's the worst bumper sticker you'd have to have on your car until the next fantasy season starts? A Q sticker? Oh, yeah. It's definitely Q. Yeah, it's definitely Q.

Or Scientology. Stop the seal. They're kind of on the same wave a little bit. No, yeah, but Scientology, I feel like people know it's wrong, but they're not aggressive against it, whereas QAnon people are aggressively against it. I'm aggressively against Scientology. I am too, but I feel like other people are just kind of like, okay, whatever. If I see someone repping Scientology, I'm just like, that person has just lost their marbles.

They're just clueless. That's why I don't watch Handmaid's Tale. The lead in it. I'm forgetting her name. Is she a Scientologist? Yeah. I didn't know that. That's why I don't watch it.

Yeah, but I carve out a fairly large exception for Top Gun. Top Gun 2, specifically. Honestly, anything Tom Cruise I'm in. I don't watch that much Tom Cruise stuff. He's not in that much anymore. I will go to every... I'm a big Mission Impulse guy. I'm not a Tom Cruise... You told me your favorite Cruise movie is The Last Samurai. It's not in that much anymore. I will go to every... I'm a big Mission Impulse guy. I'm not a Tom Cruise...

You told me your favorite Cruise movie is The Last Samurai. It's not. I'm not a Tom Cruise the person guy, but I'm a Tom Cruise the actor guy. Did he say he went to the midnight showing dressed as a samurai? I thought that was Matt Damon. Dude, you went to the midnight showing. Did y'all see the Matt Damon news? Yeah, what's he doing?

Nope. You can't say what he said, then backtrack. He said he's removed the... British cigarette from his vocabulary. Yeah, he no longer says the F word. As of a few months ago. Why would you publicize that? Well, he's now gone back on it and said that he never said it.

He's just playing. Ha ha, he's just like, nah. He said that he used it in a joke in front of his daughter and then his daughter wrote him an essay as to why that word was shouldn't be used anymore and he said that changed him and he just offered this up in an interview and then people like what what was he just word vomiting in this interview like was he yeah i don't know what's he doing this sounds like adderall weird i going to blame everything on Adderall. I'm not going to lie.

So one of the guys from BroBible, Eric Italiano, he recently interviewed Matt Damon. And I was kind of bummed that he wasn't the one that broke this news. That would have been big for the boys over at BroBible. Who broke it? I don't know. I don't know who this is. What's he even promoting right now? Does he have a movie coming out? Yeah, he's got Stillwater.

The meme. You've seen it. Yeah. It's supposed to be a good movie. I thought he was just on a show on Chip Gaines' new channel. Chip Gaines has a channel? Yeah, they got a whole channel. You haven't heard about that?

God, they're killing it. Chip. Yeah, they have an whole channel. You haven't heard about that? God, they're killing it. Chip. Yeah, they have an entire show about Yeti coolers. It's just Transformers, only they just transformed back into Yeti coolers. It's just a game show about how much you can fit in your Yeti. They started calling me Chip Gaines at the gym, but with a Z. Yeah. I didn't see you in there yesterday.

I told you I went yesterday morning. Oh, yeah, you did tell me that no how do you like that how do you like the morning the morning pump i love it i love it but don't you kind of look forward to going in the afternoon yeah it's also nice to get out of the way and have just a clear afternoon i know but what are you what are you gonna do realistically play warzone no i did some dope shit. I know. You guys are still playing Warzone? I know. You don't do shit. I did some sick-ass shit yesterday.

What'd you do? I can't even tell you. Origami? Get Randy over for an origami seminar? Yeah, I had Randy over to fold origami, David. Grow up. Origami for bae? No one had me becoming an Ape Shit Cuts guy in their 2021 bingo card.

I can't believe you're taking pre-workout. No one had me becoming an Ape Shit Cuts guy in their 2021 bingo card. I can't believe you're taking pre-workout. Nobody, please nobody Photoshop Randy as Mr. Miyagi and Dylan as Daniel's son. Don't do it. And Karate Kid. Nobody Photoshopped that. That's not good content. Did we get a straight up total of zero origami roses delivered to Randy during this meetup?

I didn't want to call out the listeners, but yeah. Like, I appreciate everyone that came out and had fun at the meetup, but how are you not going to bring an origami rose for Randy? He was an hour late. Hey, buy a couple of dumbbells and just keep them next to your pellets when you're on that ape shit, cuz. You might pick them up. I got some.

I've got two little two-pounders. Oh, those are perfect. Yeah. Perfect. I've got two little two-pounders. Oh, that's perfect. Yeah. Perfect. Yeah. Don't go any heavier. No. It's just to keep the fat off my arms, but keep them as slim as possible.

Lean them up. Yeah, exactly. Didn't you tell me you got rid of your Peloton and you got the bike from Borat? Or no, the bike from Bruno? Did you? Yeah, I had to take the seat off the Peloton. Because of the way it felt? Yeah.

What song is that from, Dylan? I read a story today that they almost had M. Night Shyamalan direct one of their videos back in the day. That would have been phenomenal. But then he realized that the budget was crazy small, and he just backed out. I feel like it wouldn't have been that small. I feel like they had a pretty big music video budget. There was a time. Whatever. There wasn't a time. Whatever.

There wasn't a time. Do we have anything else on this Maxwell Berry kid? Just that he sucks. What's your reaction if you are in a seat directly next to him? If you're across the aisle, if you're in a row in front of him, behind him? What do you do in this scenario? I pull out my phone and I record it. But do you try to mediate the situation at all?

No. Just be like, hey, dude, shut the fuck up. Shut up. You're going to make it phone and I'll record it. But you don't tell, do you try to mediate the situation at all? No. Just be like, hey, dude, shut the fuck up. Shut up. You're going to make it worse. Yes, I would. That situation can escalate. I wouldn't be able to be quiet. Honestly, I'm waiting for him to put his hands on me or somebody near me,

and he's getting fucking one hit quit. Oh, yeah, he needed to get knocked out. That would have been the best case. It's a miracle that no one just smoked him. There was a hammered dude on my flight back from Michigan who was complaining about his mask. And was like dude just stop and then the he was we were leaving detroit and we were flying obviously like probably people in detroit weren't just people leaving detroit like maybe some people from detroit were going to like sorry i phrased that poorly it's not

like all these people were not from detroit there are people on this flight from detroit flying elsewhere you're talking shit about detroit he just he just goes to the lady next to me goes god can't wait to get out of this shithole right and the lady was just like uh-huh yeah like yeah dude she might be from your dog detroit over everybody what an idiot yeah everybody was just like dude like you you could just feel everyone rolling their eyes at him loudly talking about how much detroit sucked and it's like, hey, dude, a lot of us are from Michigan. Chill out, dog. Did I tell you we had a lady on our flight that was crying and screaming the whole time? She's like five months old.

But still. Dude, what a jerk. This lady was five months old. Yeah. It's a baby. Dude, how dare she? No, babies are pretty good on planes. It's very rare that i have one that cries the entire time so someone brought their baby to cabo it's pretty chill it's pretty chill hell yeah that's tight i was in cabo a couple weeks ago

at dc rough on instagram if you want to check out pics from it let's talk about Keeves real quick please hair loss is a thing okay and a lot of the times like when your hair starts to go like there's not a lot you can do about it so you got to keep the hair that you have a lot of people don't realize that two out of three men will experience hair loss by the time they're 35 and more than 50 million men in the U.S. experience male pattern baldness I'm not gonna lie I've always been pretty confident about my head of hair. Now that we're in the new studio, I saw an angle of myself recently, and I was like, all right. Keeps time, baby.

I used to be very proud of my full head of hair, but it's definitely not as thick as it used to be. Had I known about keeps back in the day, I could have prevented that. You still can, even though you're not under 35. You can still do it. Right. We're all aware of my age at this point i think i didn't point that out i was just saying what the talking points said comparing it

to you look i'm on it i'm over 35 i'm not afraid to admit it we're actually the same age interestingly you got nine months on me you got nine months on me three quarters of a year actually i'm closer than ever to 35 wow dude you're getting closer every day are you 34 yeah yeah not great we're all mid-30s right now what's the big deal i have not gone hat off in the new stew to see what it looks like on camera i'm gonna have to do that dude don't do it i'm i'm a keeps boy now they offer a simple stress-free way to keep your hair convenient virtual doctor consultations medications delivered straight to your door every three months you don't have to leave your home. It's low cost.

Treatments start at just $10 per month and Keeps offers generic versions as well. It's discreet packaging and proven results. Keeps has more five-star reviews than any of its competitors. That's a plus for me. Prevention is key. Treatment can take four to six months to see results, so act fast. You don't want to get behind the eight ball here, guys. If you're ready to take action and prevent hair loss, go to keeps.com, K-E-E-P-S dot com slash steam to receive your first month of treatment for free.

That's K-E-E-P-S dot com slash steam to get your first month free. K-E-E-P-S dot com slash steam. These next two stories, I'm champing at the bit, Will. I can't stop champing. I'm chomping. Stop it, dude. I'm chomping. Stop doing that.

I'm getting my, ooh, baby. Dan Campbell, head coach, Detroit Football Alliance. This guy is the most alpha dude of all time. Can this dude calm down? He's overcompensating. No, he literally can't because his coffee order is so ridiculous. He's overcompensating. It seems like you might be a little bit upset about his links to College Station, Dylan.

You haven't let that go yet. I feel like you're upset that he's just absolutely coffee-cutting you. Is he an Aggie? He is. I did not know that, honestly. What does that do for you? How do you view him? It does nothing.

It changes nothing. He's making all the players wear square-toed boots during practice to build their leg strength. I kind of respect it. Do you want to hear his call order every morning? You know how – I'm not trying to compare him to Aubrey Hoff, but you know how Aubrey Hoff, he spends like – his whole online presence is just convincing everyone that he's so alpha.

Yes. That's all he talks about is how alpha he is. Yeah, huge cock. Makes you think. Why do you need to prove it so much? And I'm not saying Dan Campbell is that way, but he's flirting with doing too much. Aubrey Huff tries to do it in a way that puts other people down, whereas Dan Campbell is trying to inspire alphaness out of other dudes.

They're riding different waves, let me be clear. I don't dislike Dan Campbell. He's doing a lot. He does do a lot. He is the guy who, when you go to an Asian restaurant, he orders the one with the five chili peppers, the spiciest, and he's like, this isn't spicy enough, man. Keep it coming.

He's got sweat pouring down his face, but he's like, no, I don't even feel it. This is good, man. I've got to get some more spice. I need some Tabasco. He wears shorts in January. He's like, it's not even that cold out here. No, no i don't even feel it but you see this is good man i need i gotta get some more spice man some tabasco he wears shorts in january he's like it's not even that cold out here now my legs don't get cold no it's not that cold no it's fine it's 24 degrees there's ice on the ground did you know he tried to get an actual lion to have at the facility yes they turned him down unfortunately that's weird that's good what if they what if he had actually made that happen and like suddenly like someone gets mauled yeah, yeah, Goff missed the first game because he no longer has a leg.

He might miss more games. It's been eaten. Y'all are running with Goff now. Yeah. Yeah, because he's running with them. That's why. How do you think? How's it going in training camp?

Dude, you know what it is. No, I don't. I'm asking you. Dude, a lot of people are saying he's going to put Hall of Fame numbers this year. Goff? Yeah, dude. In this one year. year dude he's just got weapons at his disposal it's great people forget he had like a really really good year like four years ago correct really good he had quite literally a weapon at every position too he's out there just slinging it though can we listen to dan campbell's coffee Coffee order every morning? Yeah.

Well, normally what I do is I get two venti. I go to Starbucks, I get two venti of the Pike with two shots in them. So, black eye in both. That's what I come in with. That's how I start the day. Did he say with the pipe? The pipe. Pike.

Pike? Their Pike blend, dog. Imagine not knowing about the Pike blend. I thought he said pipe. I thought he was rolling in with the pipe? The pipe. Pike. Pike? Their pike blend, dog. Imagine not knowing about the pike blend. I thought he said pipe. I thought he was rolling in with the pipe. I thought he nicknamed his own coffee. I thought that too. Pipe is a good name for coffee. I had some pike blend recently.

That's what he's talking about. That's the Starbucks brand. That's their bread and butter. You know why it's called that? Because it was probably founded at the Pike House in the basement. Yeah. That's their bread and butter. You know why it's called that? Because it was probably founded at the Pike House in the basement? No. I believe because it started in Seattle. Pike's Peak.

The Pike, what's it called? Pike Place Market? Is that what it's called? Am I just making that up? I don't know. Why don't you ask Katie from The Bachelorette? Pike. We don't have a direct line to her, do we?

Yeah, Colton. Oh, I don't Yeah, Colton. Colton could help us out. So you're trying to get the Pike? Yeah, Pike Place Market is in Seattle, and that's where the original Starbucks is. I'm surprised you guys didn't know that. He's actually drinking 40 ounces a day. I only do craft. You claim to drink 40 ounces a day, but you don't.

I've already had 40. He does 40 ounces a day, and he does it with black eyes. I'm surprised he's not doing a Black Rifle coffee. Is it weird? I feel like he's so into his alphaness that he wouldn't go to Starbucks. Black Rifle is objectively the most alpha coffee. Is he having to go to Starbucks every day? There's a Death Wish coffee that we have here in the office.

Yeah, but... I'm just saying. Why is he going to Starbucks every day? Can't he just have you tell me why don't they just have a michigan do y'all got trash coffee you guys don't have craft you guys don't have one in every strip mall like we do here no it's like random or like or like food truck coffee trucks we have those now i think if you if i was in harbor springs right now and i had to go get a cup of Starbucks coffee for somebody, like if P. Diddy, if it was making the band and P. Diddy was like, I need Starbucks right now, I think I'd have to drive like an hour and a half to go get Starbucks.

It's just not something we have. Y'all don't have a lot of fast food in your hometown. Mm-mm. I think that's intentional, though. No, it is. I know, I know. I'm just pointing it out. Starbucks does have good coffee. I know. I know. I'm just pointing it out. Starbucks does have good coffee.

I know. You know? I'm just saying. Doesn't it seem like he would want to get something else? It's big coffee, though. I think we should start a coffee brand. I would love to start a coffee brand. There are a lot of smaller businesses out there that make their own coffee that have their own blends.

The fact that we don't have one makes absolutely no sense. have their own blends. The fact that we don't have one makes absolutely no sense. If you're a coffee company and you want to sell coffee to several thousand people, making a circling back blend, which by the way is a great name for a coffee, I don't understand why this hasn't happened yet.

Can we do it? Can we just fuck around and do it? Do you guys want to do the name? Brett's in the hot seat right now over there. Just sitting on the couch. Let's get some coffee people on the horn. No, I can see Brett's finger dude right now. He just fired off an email to like six different coffee places.

Talk to Clay. Let's make coffee, dog. Clay has been trying to get us to private label a number of things, coffee included, for like three years. Oh, well, I'm glad that you followed up on that. I absolutely have. I absolutely brought it up to you all. And Dylan, you're probably over there listening to Micah's Mind of Micah

or whatever. I just don't like labeling my privates. let's get let's get coffee going okay you know i love coffee can i say you do two ventis with a shot a couple shots in each uh the pipe is what i call it i'm gonna say something controversial you don't need two shots of espresso you won't feel it one shot's enough anything after two you're just you're just flexing you're just flexing. You're just throwing money away. Damn. You're not going to notice any difference. Dave with some truth

cannons. Still going to blow that ass out. Isn't there a dude on Reddit that has something to say to Dan Campbell? Well, there's someone on Reddit who went mega viral. Mega viral. What does mega constitute? Hold on. Text J-Mom. No, no. On Reddit, it's gotta be like 40 000 i mean reddit's like the biggest online community right probably one of them and this was i think our discord yeah

this was at the top of uh reddit for a very long time it has 8.5k comments 50 000 points whatever that means i guess upvotes whatever anyway username fajita boy swag and he the title of his of his post is coffee culture sucks and he just goes in on coffee culture and it is probably 300 words long we don't need to read the whole thing but his first couple lines dude edited columns at grand x not that many words i've gotten good at eyeballing something and i'm really good yeah after grand x i'm amazing Oh, we should have a word off between y'all. Who can guess? His first two sentences, he says, I hate, hate, hate coffee culture.

I can't stand people saying, oh, I can't do anything until I get a warm cup of coffee in me. Then he goes, I guess I'm leading more than two sentences. He says, shut up. Then he drops some F-bombs. He goes on and on and on. And then people are just like, man, this guy really hates coffee. But the reason he hates it is because we're enabling people to get addicted to caffeine, correct? No, he hates the exact thing that we mock.

We're like, oh, wait until I have my cup of coffee. He thinks he's taking it seriously. This guy sounds like this guy's having a tough time. We have fun with it. This guy's like, oh, I hate it. Like, calm down, buddy. Maybe have a cup of coffee. We are coffee culture. Maybe he needs to have a cup of coffee. We are coffee culture.

Maybe he needs to have a cup of coffee and calm down. I don't think it works like that. Well, to like, maybe he's so disgruntled because he hasn't had his cup of coffee yet. You know, my father-in-law has coffee at all hours of the day and night. Like, he will have a cup of coffee at 11 p.m. What do you think Dan Campbell would do if he found out that, like, every day around 2 o'clock I have a half- coffee at 11 p.m what would what do you think dan campbell would do if he found out that like every day around two o'clock i have a half calf wow would he just be disgusted with me that's not it's not the michigan way he would bite my kneecap off and spit it into his empty coffee container and then stick his lion on you he doesn't have a line i just told you

you got denied he's trying to get one i love coffee i love it shut up dude love is dan campbell the guy who's like oh dude i dude, I'll eat ghost peppers. Yeah. Yeah. And then two minutes after doing it, he disappears for like three hours. And you're like, where'd Dan go? He's like, oh, I was taking a nap. What?

Yeah. No, dude, I'm fine. I've got to lift it. Why does he sound like Peyton? His shirt is sopping wet from sweat. Why does he sound like Peyton Manning also? He does sound like Peyton Manning. I never have noticed that until this morning.

He's a little more alpha than Peyton, though. People are saying Dan Campbell's going to end his career with more Super Bowls than Peyton. In Detroit. That's what people are saying? Yeah. People are saying Super Bowl. Peyton only has, what, two? I don't know.

Just saying. It's two. Just saying. His last one was with the Denver Broncos under coach Gary Kubiak. You know, his brother also has two. A lot of people forget that. No. I feel like everyone knows that.

There was a helmet catch by David Tyree that kind of solidified that game. Wow, look at this guy. Dylan's trying to catch some helmet. Joe Buck really flexed his announcing muscles for that play. Brett, we got a coffee? Live Moss. You got a coffee brand going yet? Not yet.

Not yet. Eli Manning escapes the pressure, throws downfield, caught by David Tyree. That's a pretty decent Joe Buck. I was just like, what? That's the call? The most exciting play in Super Bowl history? That's the call? He probably didn't realize it was pinned up against his helmet.

I know, but I feel like the moment commanded more than that. But I a joe buck guy now so i can't i can't talk too much shit about him this guy goes on to say don't get me don't even get me started on starbucks goddamned devil business slinging legal crack for decades hogging good real estate so addicts have addicts have a place to slurp up and get their morning shit don't say slurp that's what this guy said now we're doing it in coffee culture dude we don't slurp coffee dude we sip it i slurp it sometime i slurp your coffee i slurp it slurp it right down i'm a coffee fan and your stupid machines that creak and groan through the quietude of my morning can go fuck themselves quietude a word? I don't know.

Quietude. Has this guy had too much coffee? Hold on. Maybe. Quietude. I like this dude. This guy definitely yells at flight attendants. Damn.

A state of stillness, calmness, and quiet in person or place. Oh, wow. I am embarrassed. And lastly, the goddamn Keurig Cups Keurig Cups or whatever they're called, are one of humanity's worst inventions. You know what? Agree. And the fact that Dylan insists on using Keurig at home. I haven't

used Keurig since I was in the Grand X office. You were the face of Keurig on Snapchat. You were. I was. That was a good bit, though. It was a great bit. How many turtles choked on your Keurig cups that you thought was cool to slam down? Hopefully zero, man. Yeah, how many ducks got your Keurig cups stuck on their feet? Couldn't swim anymore.

Don't put this on me. I bet you don't even cut your six-packs. I do, actually. I don't think you do. I tear them. I don't cut them. Okay. I do, though.

I promise. Does the homie? Have you taught him that yet? He doesn't dispose of six-pack plastics. I do. So I'll teach him when the time comes. Dave doesn't. Look at him.

No, I've been eating a little too much, man. Six-pack. Cabo, man. I had a little too much fun at the Starbucks in Cabo. Dave, didn't you have another news story that you wanted to bring up? No, I didn't. No, I did not. I think there was another news story.

I'm seeing on here, it says something about a prostate on here. It's a Harvard study. And this is a PSA for all the men. The people from Ritual. For all our men out there. Let's hear it, Dave. A Harvard study finds that men who ejaculate 21 times a month were one-third less likely to develop prostate cancer

than men who ejaculated four to seven times per month. What kind of numbers are you doing? Who are you gesturing towards? Look, I'm just saying. Look, I'm probably not sniffing 21. I've got to get my numbers up. What? Go ahead. So I'm just saying, look, I'm probably not sniffing 21. I got to get my numbers up. I'm out. What?

Go ahead. So I'm just saying to all the fellows out there, keep on cranking. Were you calling yourself 21 Savage after this news drop? Yeah, I was. That was sick. So that's all the research. I'll give you some more. This is just a responsible PSA.

We're dishing out to the gents out there. If, like, you find out... Hold on. This is from the Daily Mail. This is real. Yeah. It's a Harvard study, David. Why do they have to use images like this?

See the banana one? What are they doing with that? You see it? That's a company that doesn't have the budget to do anything besides shutterstock it's literally a banana with cream on the end of it like what that's a little you don't need the cream we get the innuendo without the banana cream pies hit different maybe that's just the beginning stage of that they are very good what did what did bay make for me bananas foster or something no she made you banana pudding banana pudding it was bomb wasn't it yeah but i was told it wasn't a traditional banana pudding so now i'm like wait what my first ever

banana pudding was untraditional whoa whoa don't let bae hear that man i thought she said that she put her heart and soul into that but i thought she said that it wasn't wasn't traditional someone who's who has this in his family you know uh i am gonna talk to no prostate cancer probably banana but it's funny that's funny way to go will uh i'm gonna i'm going to i'm going to talk to – no, prostate cancer. Probably banana pudding too. Way to go, Will. I'm going to urge everyone, like all my family members, like, hey, Uncle Marty. It's not a real person. Are you cranking? How's the date?

You're going to go over Thanksgiving and ask Uncle Marty what his number is? How's that come down? You tell someone over 55 to crank 21 times a month, they're like, I can't do that. You don't think they're capable of cranking 21 times. It doesn't have to be cranking. It can happen in other ways. That's a lot of boners for an older gentleman.

I'm just saying. Okay, you're right. We have a freaking sponsor for that. You're right. Fair point, David. Whole squad chewing blue. I just feel like this should be getting more play. That's why we're...

I think it's getting play. That's why we're telling the people. 21 times. 21. 21, 21, 21. 21 times seems a little excessive. All right. So this is starting next month.

It's circling back crank month. And we just need all the backers to keep track of their numbers. Can we please not promote Circling Back Crank Month? Brett notes it's Small Biz September, so I guess we're parlaying that. And, Dylan, I'm going to delete this talking point you put on the rundown. We're not doing a cum-a-thon. What the fuck are you talking about? What is that?

Come on, dude. I didn't put that on there. We're not doing that. It's ridiculous i can't wait to delete this episode when when fritz's lil mon is old enough to to understand words i'm gonna earmark this one what what age do you have to start worrying about them like repeating what you're saying or like taking it in i don't know three two oh really okay i got time whenever they start talking the words they learn are from you you know yeah i know that's why i'm asking when do they start talking though uh two one one one to two somewhere in there damn i think i don't

remember taking a vow of silence right now it's been a long time is fritz this is uh the dad dadgum podcast we're switching to dadgum okay is fritz gotten into um like when he learns like a new a new thing his voice can do like a new scream or pitch or just a sound and he just doubles triples down on it and it's just like all right for the next 48 hours we're getting we're getting that noise we're on day three day three so my uh lily and Drew's son is currently in that stage. Like, he's been in that stage. And they hung out for a little bit the other day. And I think Fritz heard some baby noises he had never heard before.

Next thing I know, he's just riffing. Like, he has not stopped babbling all week. Babble. He's a talk boy. I am worried that he's going to grow up with a British accent because of all the Love Island being played while he's in the other room. It's a British accent. He's going to have a question for me and ask if we have a chat on the daybed. And I'm like, dude, we don't even have a daybed here.

It's meant to, dad. Hey, puppy. It's meant to. It's meant to. You guys have really bad British accents. Oh, smashing, baby. Just a bit of a snogging. They don't know what snogging is. Fish and chips, eh? Dave has bit of a snogging. They don't know what snogging is.

Fish and chips, eh? Dave has no clue what snogging is. They don't know what grifting is either. Grifting? I thought it was grafting. Grafting. I know what Tokyo drifting is. Yes.

Will you please just watch Gone in 60 Seconds one time? I still have the last, the latter four Fast and Furious. You're going to power through. Can you admit that it's weird that you haven't seen Gone in 60 Seconds, though? No, because I haven't seen it, so I don't know if it's weird. It might be completely justified. Like, Gone in 60 Seconds has one of the all-time casts.

It's Nick Cage boosting cars. What more do you need? Gone in 60 Seconds sounds like my love life. I botched it. We got Nick Cage, Angelina Jolie, Robert Duvall, Giovanni Ribisi. Don't act like all of these are household names. Randy's doppelganger.

Vinnie Jones. Randy's doppelganger in the movie. Mine? Master P? No, Randy's doppelganger. Master P is in it? Oh, Scott Conn? Scott Conn.

Yeah, he's Tumblr, dude. Tumblr. Wait, did you say Robert Duvall? Mm-hmm. Okay. Dave, it's a good movie. Dude, Master P is in it, David. About it, about it.

Just do it. Michael Peña's in it. Dylan nods. Nah, nah, nah. Make him say, oh. I know Michael Peña. Kiki Camarena, dude. So, you remember those ads we used to get on all the Grand X sites that were like,

oh, the celebrities you didn't know were dead. And then it would have like a photo of a celebrity that was very much alive that you'd click on and be like, hold on, he's not dead, right? Or it's like someone was like, yeah, the death was very public. We know. I had one the other day that was just like, you'll never believe the Netflix shows that got canceled in quarantine. And the leading photo was Narcos Mexico.

And I was like, oh, my God, it got canceled? That's like one of the best shows on Netflix right now. That is a cash cow. There's no way. Next thing I look on the thing, it's nowhere to be found. What? That's so irresponsible. I know.

Just irresponsible advertising. You'll never believe which Hollywood star has three dicks. Yeah, that's a popular one. Who does have? Did you click through? I never clicked it. You didn't click through? Because it seemed like it would give me a virus.

Hey, let's pivot. Hold on. My favorite thing in the morning. Let's get real here. Before you're up to feed the baby is when the baby wakes up and is just not crying. He got canceled this week. You shouldn't be feeding him. No, not da baby.

I'm talking about lil baby. Oh, okay. ACL dropped him, by the way. Who are they picking up and placing da baby? I heard Snoop. I'm just kidding. No, Snoop is actually putting on a music festival, I think in New York, that has an all-time lineup for hip-hop fans.

Unbelievable lineup. Is Matty B on it? No. I don't know. I didn't read too far down the drain. What about John B? No, he doesn't go to New York very much anymore. He's kind of a sore subject.

Seriously. Hey, I need to put out a PSA. You're not welcome in New York anymore. I need to put a PSA out there to everybody. Hey, if I'm walking down the street and you see me, please, i'm not john b like just stop really you get you got a lot i know i look exactly like him but like i'm just not him i was trying to say that that the point before the baby like wake up wake up and it's just talking to itself and they're making no like that's like a fun part because you're kind of awake you're like all right i'm not gonna go back to sleep but like i don't we don't have

to feed him yet that's a. That's a fun moment. And that's the Dadgum Podcast. Thank you, Kyle and Pete. The best moment of my day is getting him out of his swaddle and just having that stretch. It's the best part of my day. Love a good stretch. You guys want to hear the lineup for this music festival?

It's actually in L.A. I was wrong. L.A.? You have to go down the far off five in order to get to it? Al Green, Snoop Dogg, 50 Cent, The Game, YG, Ice Cube, Isley Brothers, Bone Thugs, Cypress Hill, 3-6 Mafia, E-40, Too Short, DJ Quick, Warren G. Like, listen to this.

Too Short and Bone Thugs at the same place? Count me in. Dude, when 50 and The Game start doing Hate It or Love It, like, I'm going to be front row. That's a sick line. I'm going to get in the pit and try to love someone. Well, you I'm going to be front row. That's a sick line. I'm going to get in the pit and try to love someone. Well, you're not going to be front row. You're probably not even going to this.

You've got to think I'm going to this. You're just not. Dude, I'm going. Give me somebody on the bottom line. Go to the people we might not know. Trish Toledo, the Lakesiders, Coyote, D3. What about D12? I don't see any D12 on here.

Okay. What about? Noted rapper Snow the Product will be there. Oh, let's go. Snow the Product. Do you think he dabbles in anything illegal? I don't think so. Snow the Product.

I think he just loves to go skiing, I think. Yeah, you think he just spends a lot of time in Aspen? Yeah. Mm-hmm. What? I don't recognize any names. Mac-10, Dub-C. I have been listening to a little Dom Kennedy lately.

Oh, Exhibit. X to the Z. Yeah, but he's not performing. Don't say it. Don't say it. He's just pimping people's rods. Don't tweet that at him because he will pwn you on Twitter. Wait, really?

Oh, yeah, that's right. He had a viral one. So if I show up with my car, he won't do something to it? What did he say? Just like some girl was like, hey, Exhibit. He had a viral one. So if I show up with my car, he won't, like, do something to it? What did he say? Just, like, some girl was like, hey, exhibit, will you pimp my something? And he's like, I think he said, like, no, bitch, that was 10 years ago. You just dunked on her. No reason.

Like, okay, dude. You probably made good money on that show. That show was sick. I mean, no one needs a saltwater fish tank in their trunk, but it was a sick show. No, I didn't need a Schlitterbahn water park in my trunk, but I got one. I didn't need a cotton candy machine in the back seat, but thank you. Ale Hodger just tweeted, can you pimp my ride? Cry emoji.

He said, no, bitch. Shit's been over for a decade. Get a job. You don't have to treat her like that, Exhibit. Like, dude, she's just trying to be nice. What was her tweet? What did she want? She just said said can you

pimp my ride right to be pimped i feel like that's not that big of a like a request it's been over a decade get a job alejandra doesn't need that kind of smoke in her life like hey exhibit um will you put an olympic bounce beam inside of my car and just destroy its value it's worth nothing now because no one else wants this. It literally hurts the economy. Can we do this weekend in fun? We made your entire car out of Yeti. Yeti needs to make a car.

They will. They'll make a truck or something. Hey, we actually have a special guest in the studio today. You guys might know him from knives out uh he's one of my he's i think he's my all-time favorite bond but uh welcome daniel craig to the program ladies and gentlemen the weekend thank you daniel that was a great appearance i didn't realize he was here he's a good interview yeah also it's just wednesday but i feel like he has only one thing to say. This weekend in fun, presented by Bird Dogs.

It's peak summer, which means one thing and one thing only. Bird Dogs shorts are back. They're my everything shorts. We just got a fresh shipment of these into the stew, and I have to say. Yeah, we did. They're going wild. We did. Don't look at me.

I didn't take your shorts. Someone took Dave's shorts? Yeah. Dave's worried someone took his shorts. No, I'm not worried. I was told. Someone narked one of y'all out. Are you mad that you don't have your shorts right now?

Because bird dogs are the best and most comfortable pair of shorts that have ever existed. And they have a super soft built-in underwear. And they're perfect for doing literally anything like the beach, golf, brunch, pool. You nailed it. That is why I'm mad. I know. I get it. They're the short shorts of the summer, Dave.

So I guess I'll just... That's fine. I got the old bird dogs. That's cool. I'm not going to be on that new it. They're the short shorts of the summer, Dave. That's fine. I got the old bird dogs. That's cool. I'm not going to be on that new-ish yet. You don't got that new-new? I don't have that new yet. Do you know they kidnapped Lululemon's designer? Yeah. They were like, you're coming with us, player. They duct taped him

to his seat on a plane. Oh, I hope that's not how it went down. And then they moved him and they brought him to the bird dog's headquarters and all they said was Where am I? They pulled the black site hood off his head. He's like, where am I? I think they just paid him to go work for them. What was the bird dog office reaction when they took the hood off of his head? They were just like, no, they put a pair of shorts on his head,

the built-in underwear. Yeah, the liner. They knew he could breathe because they were breathable as hell. Yeah, that's a great point. He was totally comfortable the whole time. You're our new designer, hell. Yeah, that's a great point. He was totally comfortable the whole time. You're our new designer, dawg. Dude, guess what?

And we pimped you right. We got your Honda Civic. We put a full gym in your truck. Bird Dogs is back with one of their famous giveaways. Remember Nunchucks? Well, now go to birddogscom, enter promo code STEAM, and they'll throw in a BirdDogs whistle tip football. Where's that football, man?

Dude, it's got the whistle tip on it. I want to throw it a big game from over here. Remember those Nerf Vortex Howler footballs that whistle when you throw them? Yep. The must-have beach play of the summer. I'm going to throw it. Will, ready? Yeah. Wow.

Whoa, Dave's got some air time there. You threw that far, dog. Our office is pretty big now. I didn't know you had that kind of heat. Our office is huge. That's birddogs.com. Promo code STEAM and BOOM. A free Bird Dogs whistle tip football with your pair of Bird Dogs.

You will not take these things off. I promise you. No, they're great. They're great. Yeah. I've worn them hiking to a swimming hole. I wear them at the gym all the time. Sometimes I'll just wear them here and just straight back to.

Don't call it a swimming hole. There's a swimming hole by my house. Just leave it at your buddy's pool. It's a creek with a swimming hole. I mean, that's what it is. Jerk. Dylan, you need to tell me about your weekend before I start just volume shooting dirty jokes at you. Are you finished with the head read?

Yeah. All right. Well, thank you for asking, Will. My Fridays, well, I have parks. I don't know what we're going to do yet. Maybe something with Brittany. I don't know. Just chill.

Who is Brittany? With Bay. Oh. Oh, here's a true story. Bay went to a work dinner last night, and the rainy street was brought up for some reason. And she's like, oh, yeah, I was on it last week. And the guy goes, wait, is Dorn your boyfriend will you be there for the watch media and she goes oh yeah he goes so you're bae like the dude listens to the to the program dude yes i don't know his name

something he's in real estate in austin shouts to him? Probably doing pretty well for himself. Yeah. Yeah. Anyway. Have you seen these prices lately? Crazy. Saturday, I will be celebrating Bae's birthday. Is Saturday her actual birthday? No. Her birthday is a week from today on the 10th. August 10th. I saw you think about it. I'd say it's the 4th.

Correct. Or is it the 10th? Whatever day that is. Tuesday, I guess. Dude, that's crazy. Correct. Or it's the 10th. Whatever day that is. Tuesday, I guess. Dude, that's crazy. Randy's birthday is actually April 5th. That's wild. Her birthday's the 10th.

But Saturday, we're going to have dinner at her friend's house, and then we're going to go two-stepping. Does she listen to this, Pod? You know, she's an Aggie. It's actually kind of crazy that her birthday is double Randy's birthday. Hers is 8-10, and Randy's is 4-5. Wow, that's an easy way to remember it. Dylan, does she listen to the pod?

She does. All right. I was thinking for her birthday, you could pimp her ride. I thought about that already. We put a title company in your car. Oh, maybe you can put a printer in there. She can just print her own documents in there. Dude, just a laser printer.

That'd be sick. What kind of printer did you get? A desk jet or like a laser? I don't know. Light. I don't know. Why didn't you get a 3D printer? Aren't they like wildly expensive?

Dude, my buddy got a 3D printer in exchange for like a deal he did. Like they were like, yeah, we're going to give you this 3D printer too and he didn't know what to do with it. And for some reason he didn't think like, oh, that would be a good washed media thing. Can you imagine all the things we could 3D print? The thing about 3D printers is that they print in three dimensions.

I can't imagine all the things because I don't really understand how it works. I don't either. What if we got like a template for like, I don't know, like a golf club and we could just 3D print like new clubs? Okay, here's my question though. Where do the materials come from? Like a golf club is we could just 3d print like new clubs okay here's my question though what where do the materials come from like a golf club is made out of what like there's a rubber grip and there's a metal head yeah you don't graphite shaft it wouldn't be it wouldn't be like all the materials that you need it doesn't it doesn't just magically like but what what materials does it use that's my question i. Yeah, I was under the impression. It uses 3D. I thought that the 3D printer had like every compound known to man inside of it. So you could just press like a button like, oh, I need a new guitar case.

That's the sound it makes when you press the button. Now I need the guitar to go in it. No, you can print with metal composite base and continuous fiber elements. Filaments, I'm sorry. Is this off the dome? No, I Googled this. Many different materials can be used for 3D printing, such as ABS plastic, PLA, polyamide. Your dumbass probably knows it as nylon.

Idiot. Nylon, nylon, nylon. What are your three favorite materials to 3D print with? Nylon, nylon, nylon, nylon, nylon. That's it. That was my top five. Steel, wax, photopolymers. You know, just your normal stuff.

Polycarbonate. Which one's the hardest? Dude, these epoxy resins hit different. I still, like, you just, like, load it into the printer like you would, like, a regular, like, ink printer. Like, what is the material? I still don't understand. You know what I mean? No, I don't.

Where does it come from? I do understand. I think you have it. I think you buy cartridges like you would a normal printer. Really? Yeah. What? You need material.

It doesn't just make materials. Okay, we know how expensive ink toner is, right? How much are these cartridges? Dude, toners happen. That's true. They do. They can happen at any moment. Are you going to print stuff this weekend?

I've got some PDFs I need printed off. Dude, please let me. Perfect. If you 3D print 21 times a month, it significantly reduces the risk of certain diseases. Yeah. We're all in here trying to go paperless, and you're literally buying printers like they're going out of style. Sometimes you've got to print stuff. Didn't they 3D print your new leg after you broke it dunking?

Yeah. Trying to dunk? Still, I'm probably never going to understand it. How you barely got rim? 3D printers, man. Oh. How your leg broke under not that much pressure? It was a lot of pressure.

I thought we were about to have a Dak situation. Why are you supporting him here? I know, I know. I thought we were a team over here. But I was setting it up for a backhanded compliment. Dave was the first one on the scene, man. I appreciate that. No, Micah was clearly the first one on the scene.

No, but Dave was the first one. His shadow covered the sun in your eyes. Dave was the first one on the scene not doing content. I'm the only one who had the balls to touch it. Yeah. I was so far away that I didn't know what happened. You were over there just draining half-court shots. Yeah, I was trying to hit threes from the corner on the other side of the court, and

I looked over, and Dylan's bone is sticking out of his leg. Dave was legit concerned. Yeah, dude. Understandably. Well, but you had jeans on, so we couldn't see, and I was so like, oh no, I was about to put my hand on a compound fracture do you think that because you were wearing jeans that were weighted down by the apples down at the bottom of them that like it maybe that's why that you had more pressure going down what he's saying is maybe you

shouldn't try to dunk with boots with the fur yeah oh actually had you had some boots with the fur on you might have actually it might have stabilized your leg I had boots with the fur on, it might have stabilized your leg. If I had boots with the fur, I probably wouldn't have elevated as much as I did. I probably would have mispronounced it. Did your walking boot have fur on it? I didn't have a walking boot, but I've been sick. We're going to pimp your walking boot. Dave, what are you doing this weekend?

I don't know. Sick. Maybe eating some fajitas. Let's go from where if somebody wants to pony up and get them get the good ones

Dylan's gonna get the most broke ass fajitas yeah I am Dylan's gonna start a GoFundMe for Bay's fajitas I can't wait I can't wait for this

this Venmo request from Dylan for Bay's birthday party I'm not gonna Venmo anybody it'll be more or less than Klein's birthday dinner yeah I mean party i'm not gonna vent on anybody it'll be more or less than klein's birthday dinner uh yeah and i i i mean i i'm actually i'm planning on being low-key i got some word i got word yesterday that's a good show one of my new followers will is in town this weekend trevor

oh t-man the t-man no the t-. It's cool that he just followed you on Twitter. Yeah, I was very stoked. I guess he's in town. If he gets out of the domain, then maybe we'll see him. Nobody goes to the domain. It's kind of lit up there, but no one goes. You're right. It's too far.

Dude's dead. Maybe Saturday I'll see y'all. I'm actually bringing T-man to a base birthday party that's great we put t-man in your car that's how i'm pimping your ride i'm putting t-man in it they're just gonna pull up and t-man's be like what's up dude let's go let's go do something you want to go get some food he's in the back seat like yeah we're having fun back here. Come on, man. That's a joke for two.

Come on, man. That's a joke for two. Yeah. Ha-ha. Dorn. That's all you're doing? I got big plans this weekend. You know how I air fried a steak last weekend?

Dude, I think I'm going to take the next step. I think I'm going to air fry a brisket. Of all the things you've done that have gotten people mad, how did the air fried steak not? Dude, I think I'm going to air fry a brisket. Air fry is not steak not... Dude, I think I'm going to air fry a brisket. Air fry is not that big. Dude, I think I'm going to air fry a brisket. I'm going to 3D print a brisket and then bring it over to your place and air fry it. Dude, I like that.

The fact that no one got mad at me for air frying a brisket, it means one of two things. It means that one, people do it and they're ashamed to say that they do it publicly. Or everyone's just so done with me that they don't care. I think it's the latter. That makes more sense to me, yeah. No, I got big things popping this weekend. I have so much TV to catch on that I'm

taking Friday night off, especially after last weekend's antics. And then Saturday, I'm saving it all in the tank. I'm going to be two-stepping like a motherfucker. You don't watch White Lotus yet? I've watched it, dog. Yeah, thanks for ruining the end for me. The big payoff.

Dude, he ate his butt. Dude, I have so much TV to catch up on. I would very much like to try to finish Outer Banks this weekend so that I can squad up with Randy and Brett and do a little recap pod on Patreon. Of what? Outer Banks. OBX, dude.

No, and for those wondering, no, I am not John B. BX in the building. No one thinks you're John B. Everyone thinks I'm John B, dude. It's crazy. We got some breaking news from Brett or what? What's the deal? Dude, Brett, break this news, dog.

God, Magic Bull has just been hitting it different. Brett's got a big weekend ahead of him. He just been hitting it different. Brett's got a big weekend ahead of him. He's been hitting it different. Brett, correct me if I'm wrong, but aren't you going to be in a major city with a lot of backers in it this weekend? Oh, yeah. Well, sort of. I'll be there Friday and Saturday morning before I fly out.

Nobody's flying out of Nashville late Saturday morning. That's when it usually starts getting going. No, but that might be the perfect time for you to get out. I didn't want to put another night on the company card, be honest with you so i mean i think that i think that had you been there for saturday night like we were saving you some trouble you would have found a little bit too much trouble in nashville on saturday you would have been like why did you pay for a saturday night hotel room and i've been like i don't know i don't think i would have even known would you are you gonna bring back hot chicken for the boys uh i've never actually had

like tumble 22 or anything i've never had hot chicken for the boys? I've never actually had like Tumble 22 or anything. I've never had hot chicken. Unless it's in like a spicy chicken sandwich from. Dan Campbell has. Yeah, but dude, they didn't have a spicy. I need hotter. I need hotter chicken. This chicken is just not hot enough.

Spicy chicken, is it not just buffalo chicken? Dude, it's hot chicken. It just tastes like buffalo chicken. It does not taste like buffalo chicken. Whatever. I'll be there. It's chicken that's hot. I leave Austin Thursday morning, tomorrow, at 7.15.

My flight leaves. Okay. Get there early, man. Get there early. I won't be able to check in for like six hours after I land, so I don't know what I'm going to do. Just go to the hotel, drop your bags off, and then go get some hot chicken at Hattie B's or something. There's going to be a bunch of Nashville hard-hose like, that's not the place to get it. Sorry, I don't really know.

I don't live there. I wouldn't do the hot. Don't do hot chicken as your first meal. No? Because if it doesn't, no offense, but, like, you don't eat a ton of spicy food. No, not really. So, I mean, like, you don't want to completely tank your gut by one. Tell the kids what you're doing there, man.

We got podcast movement, dog. Where are we moving to? Are we moving to Nashville? That'll be the next watch media office will be Nashville. I'd be fine with that. We have a country club. Austin Light? Country club.

Country music label. It's like the second best music capital of the world. That's what a lot of people say. There's ten times as a lot of music in Nashville that there is here. Thursday, Friday, Saturday. I was thinking about maybe doing a little backer impromptu Friday afternoon happy hour. I don't hate it. I don't hate the move. Not like a ton of people there. Just maybe

grab some drinks with a couple of us. Just make an event right. Dude, move your flight. Go play Sweetens on Saturday. I don't have a car. Okay. Buy one. Dave did say I have an Uber budget. Maybe that was Dylan. I don't have a car. Okay. Buy one. You did say, Dave did say I have an Uber budget. Maybe that was Dylan. I don't care.

I mean, yeah, we don't want you. Just develop enough business that this trip doesn't matter. Do not. You have to. We need assurances that you will not get on a Lime scooter. Yeah, no Limes. I will not drink in Lime. Don't Lime it.

Don't even Lime sober. Why? Because I know four people who are like in a walking boot right now because of it. Right now? You can lime. I know one person who might have been in a walking boot recently. Landry, right? Was that a lime thing?

Tore his ACL. Yeah. He might have been drinking. I know numerous people in my life over the last two months who have absolutely ruined themselves on a lime sober. Why do you guys think I'm going to lime all of them? My hotel's at the airport. I have to Uber to anywhere. I don't know, Brett, because you're young.

The podcast movement's going to have fun. The grand old Opry? Opry? Opry. Wow, dude, you better get that right. Dylan, I don't know. I think we have to cancel Brett's trip to Nashville. He's going to get a grant.

Hey, bro. Hey, land us a Lou Casey deal while you're there. That's their HQ there. I don't know if their demo overlaps with ours. What's Mr. Casey's budget like? Bro, if you see Stapleton, tell him what's up, man. Freakish Stapleton. You heard his shit, dude. He's legit country.

Dude, he's the only good guy left. He's legit country. I did the only good guy left. He's legit country. I did put out a tweet that was like, I don't know how to say this without sounding like an asshole. Like, what are some good Nashville recommendations? I called it the live, laugh, love of recommendation tweets. It's very true. Yeah, it's Nashville, dude.

Like, just fucking walk into any bar on Broadway. You'll be fine. But I wanted some out-of-the-box ones. Doesn't Kid Rock have one, a thing there, Will? A honky-tonk. I'm no longer the foremost authority on Kid Rock. Oh, he's distancing. Probably the move.

Yeah, it's not bad. That's breaking news now? Yeah. How about Container Bar, local Austin staple, a man in the woods, or big cats? A man in the woods? Is it spooky season here early, or what? No, it's kind of a sad story.

Oh, okay. Oh, great. Sure, we'll go with that one. Fine. For almost three decades, 81-year-old David Lidstone has lived in the woods of New Hampshire along the Merrimack River in a small cabin adorned with solar panels. He's grown his own food, cut his own firewood, and tended to his cats and chickens. Okay, did a bear eat this guy? tended to his cats and chickens.

Okay, did a bear eat this guy? River Dave, as is known by boaters and kayakers, is now behind bars after being accused of squatting for 27 years on private property. They showed up to his house with guns and said, Sir, you're coming with us.

It's not your land. What the fuck? They couldn't just remove him? Don't you have rights rights to land at that point adverse possession that's what i was that's what i'm saying so there's now a local he wasn't open and notorious the problem was the the the current landowner the old landowner died and apparently they had a verbal agreement that he could stay there and chill oh the new landowner is like no dude get off my land i have a wood

shop going on here i don't i don't need your unseptic tank like waste on my land if i owned land and someone had been living there for 27 years i don't think i would have the heart to just be like he's 81 kick rocks and kick kick me some of those fresh peas you're growing or whatever can you not the bomb ass pig he doesn't have any cash He's just Why don't you Like lease it For a couple tomatoes Right So there's There's now a local group That's trying to

Couple tomatoes Trying to save Mr. Lidstone Is there a GoFundMe I'll donate His name's River Dave Don't call him Don't call him Mr. Lipscomb I'll donate five dollars

To River Dave It's big of you I'm gonna look into this A little bit more To make sure there's not Like an aspect of the story That It's not as

Yeah Like Like did he we need to make sure river dave doesn't have too many skeletons in this yeah yeah it just doesn't even have a closet will he doesn't have it's a one-room cabin it's true he got bars now what do they do with his chickens i don't think you want to know off with their heads spicy chicken oh no there's a shortage you know he sold him to popeyes for his bail river dave is a dope nickname i agree river dave is that what they call you when you're floating the frio yeah remember

frisbee dan oh yeah san marcus is he still doing his thing out there i think he's still out there just that dude can throw a frisbee now yeah he's goaded dylan you got a container bar like twice a week right i've been twice in my life and i i didn't i'm not gonna miss much if it's getting shut down is that what's happening it's toast container bar is now being replaced by a 55 story downtown austin condo tower oh my god it's been in the works for several years not that i like container bar but i just don't want another condo down no i'm not gonna lie so when i I got dropped off at Eisenhower's the other day, I was absolutely devastated by what rainy looks like these days. It's condos.

Clive Bar is just getting swallowed by an apartment complex. Dude, it is swallowed. You know, Mike, there was a time where Eisenhower's was one of two or three bars on that street. It was just all homes, and they'd been converted into bars. Man. Lester Pearl being, being i think maybe the first or second can we move dude imagine do corporate man they're gonna they're gonna start selling condos and be like oh yeah we're in the party like rainy street party districts like no

you're not there's like four bars left yeah sounds like they're paving paradise to put up a condo on a minium tower except that one house that refuses to do anything but sell. You know what I'm talking about? The one with the private property sign? Is that CJ's office, Will? I don't know. He's since moved. I bet he made some pretty good money. Gotta think. Yeah, there's the one house that's still, like, weirdly a realty office,

and there's one house that needs to be knocked down. That still has, like, the 1975 pickup in the garage. You know what I'm talking about? No. I love that. I don't go to Rainy anymore, dude.

I'm too old. Why? Rainy's for everybody. I only go to Eisenhower's and Eisenhower's only. Weren't you at Umbar? Stop. Two locations in Austin. Nobody's doing that.

Dude, what's this big cat news? A Jaguar at a Florida zoo injured a man who climbed a barrier because he taunted the animal. Good. What a jerk. Don't taunt the animal and climb the barrier and expect not to get got. Dude, a Jag is like, don't, that's not something you taunt. The man climbed over a waist-high safety barrier that puts about four feet of empty space between visitors and the Jaguar exhibits fence.

The man began taunting the Jaguar and reaching his hand through the fence. It was then that a 12-year-old big cat named Harry swiped at the man and injured him. Harry! I hope it took his hand. The feline was acting as part of its normal behavior for a wild animal and will not have any consequences. Obviously. We actually have Harry the jaguar on today's episode.

Really? Yeah. Let's hear from Harry real quick. Hey, what's going on, guys? Wow, thank you, Harry. Thanks for hopping on the mic. Here's where it gets... Harry's kind of a badass.

Officials confirmed that... Here's where it gets Harry. Officials confirmed that Harry the Jaguar was involved in a fight earlier this year that left another Jaguar dead. Let's go. Harry's a savage. Yeah. I didn't know that's go. Harry's a savage. Yeah. I didn't know that.

Damn. Harry's built different. Zoo officials say they don't plan to pursue criminal charges against the man who was sent to the hospital and is expected to recover fully. So he just got a little love tap. Harry just popped him with a jab like, dude, you don't want to do this. You don't want the smoke, dog.

He gave him fair warning. He's like, you don't want to see what I'm capable of. I'll play her. Jags are cool. Muscular. It was in Jacksonville, by the way, if you had any. You know that's the largest city by land area in the United States. It sure is, Dylan.

Closely followed by San Diego. Lots of people don't know that. Do you think this guy was like hopped over into the exhibit because he was just trying to get his ride pimped? Maybe. He got a little confused. Yeah, he's like, oh,

oh my God, this is so embarrassing. Holy shit. Okay, yeah, yeah. Hey, well, Harry, oh, ah. Ow. Ew.

My hand. All right, I'll leave. That's how he reacted to that. Just don't duct tape me into the fucking chair or whatever. That's what they do now You just combined

All the segments He's not a Lululemon designer They're my everything pants Harry Stop Yeah don't touch the pants They're my everything pants What is wrong with you

I don't know Don't last right the pants Just recap the whole episode In 12 seconds I don't know Dude Jaguars live that long By the way A 12 year old Jag

That's got a body On his ledger? That jag is not to be trifled with. Yeah, he's playing with fire right now. How old do big cats live to be? That's a great question. I have no clue. I'm going to guess like 17.

You know, like, if they're in a lab, they'll live infinity. Yeah, I heard that. Like alligators. That's sick. Is that true? No. It's never been proven for's sick. Is that true? No. It's never been proven for some reason. How long do big cats live, Will?

I Googled it. Nothing came up. Is he going to make me sad? I don't want to know. Jaguar life expectancy. Eight to ten years. So, yeah, he is old and built different. I got 12 to 15.

He's got that dad dick. You can clearly see Dylan says 12 to 15, right? I can clearly see it. Yeah, on his screen. His computer screen. It's right here. Todd, you're 8 to 15. He's got that dad dick. You can clearly see Dylan says 12 to 15, right? I can clearly see it, yeah, on his screen. His computer screen. It's right here. Tiger 8 to 10. Cougar 8 to 13. Leopard 12 to 17.

Sorry I hit you. No, dude. Why are you punching a business guy? He's about to go to Nashville. Dude, there's just something. Everyone's going to be like, what's that bruise on your arm? He's fine. I bruise easily.

I have iron deficiencies. You chew a lot of ice? What? That's a symptom. Pump more iron,iencies. You chew a lot of ice? What? That's a symptom. Pump more iron, dude. What? Yeah. Chewing ice?

Yeah. People that have an iron deficiency are more likely to chew ice. No, I fucking hate ice. I'd rather have a Pepsi without ice. I'm not kidding. What are you? Dude, Pepsi sucks. I'm done.

I didn't mean Pepsi. I mean Coke. I'm going to die. Wild cherry Pepsi hits. Pepsi is so mid. Not Wild Cherry. Dylan's like an RC Cola guy. Wild Cherry Pepsi.

Like the song. No. RC is not bad. I couldn't tell you what RC tastes like. Royal Crown Cola. RC Slocum. I just drink Jolt. That's all I drink.

I thought you drank Mountain Dew. R.C. Slocum. I just drink Jolt. That's all I drink. I thought you drank Mountain Dew. Just Jolt. Dylan wants to punk anybody who has ever had a Mountain Dew Code Red. And Crystal Clear Pepsi. Will drinks Faygo. Yeah, Michigan product. At his music festivals he goes to. He sprays the crowd with it as he's in clown makeup on stage.

Dave actually said before the podcast he's a big squirt guy. Here's to find something different. No, I love squirt. Okay. No, squirt and mellow yellow were like my two road... When we would do the summer road trip to Niagara Falls,

when we got into those states that had the mellow yellow, oh, it was over for my parents. Squirt doesn't get enough cred. Thank you. Like a little tequila and squirt? Never had that. No one's doing tequila and squirt. That that no one's doing that's a good little saturday same thing as netflix and chill okay no squirt like we get it the name is funny but i think it is objectively good it is no you see it all over the pallets that are like the displays of squirt in the grocery stores are huge. They're gigantic.

I messed up not having squirt on my hypothetical soda fountain that I had in my home from my tweet a couple months ago. I should have had squirt on the list. We were doing Sue's squirts at CC's. What, like half the lemon lime and half ruby red? It was half squirt and like a quarter of everything else. That is loco. I didn't know squirt had multiple flavors. Ruby red squirt's very, very good.

I've never had that. Very good. That would scare me if I saw that. Dude, it's good. Mid-key goaded. I'm going to get a squirt. Hold on. Mid-key goaded.

Mid-key goaded. So it's, okay, I don't know. Let's diagram that sentence. Dylan doesn't know how to do that. Dylan sees a jaren in the sentence, and he's just punching air. He has no clue where to put that little fucker. What? A gerund, dude.

What's a gerund? It's a thing. Oh, come on. You went to gerund? They don't teach you? That's gerund. Teach you gerunds anymore? What are we doing?

I don't know what a gerund is. It's a thing. I know it's a thing in the English class. It's a part of a thing. I know it's a thing in the English class. It's a part of a sentence. It's a form that is derived from a verb but functions as a noun. Fuck that, dude. You shouldn't have to learn that. Oh, like I'm going to summer in the Hamptons.

So if you ask, do you mind my asking you? Oh, no. That's a noun being a verb. Asking is a gerund. Do you mind my asking? Who talks like that? Because if you're asking of you, dude, imagine not knowing that.

I don't want to know. That's a dumb one. Dude, you don't fuck with non-finite verbs? Verb forms? Like, what are you doing? Back in the day, man, I was acing all my English tests. They would call me Jaron Jones.

Because I was owning it. You buy a squirt at HEB? Hard to say. Central Market probably has it. Jaron Jones. Yeah. Jerry for short. I got Jaron Jones money.

I think it's time to wrap this up. You got any more breaking news? He's done, man. I just did three, dude. All right. I need to figure out lunch. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.