Circling Back - Elevators, Energy Drinks, and Crowdsurfing at Flo Rida

Episode Date: August 23, 2023

Will got stuck in his elevator (again), Dave's babysitter took some liberties when it came to the refrigerator, Dillon's viral segment The Space Bar returns, surrogate wives, crowdsurfing your baby at a Flo Rida concert, This Weekend in Fun, and more. Enjoy a free two-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (13:00) I Got Stuck In My Elevator Last Night (25:00) Dave’s Babysitter Taking Liberties (43:00) Space Bar: Ring Nebula (56:42) Do We Need Surrogate Wives? (1:04:00) Would You Crowd Surf Your Baby At Flo Rida? (1:10:00) This Weekend in Fun presented by Miller High Life Support This Episode’s Sponsors Rhoback: www.rhoback.com (BACKER20 for 20% off) Mugsy: www.mugsy.com (STEAM for 10% off) Miller High Life: www.millerhighlife.com/washed --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from austin texas my name is will to freeze my left david that boy rough what the fuck's up denny's thanks for having me on i'm looking forward to today's show will before the uh before we sat down in here you were describing your cousin i believe and you said he was a stout young man i think you used the term shithouse no no just house he's just a house he was built like a house in high school yeah it made me wonder the term brick shithouse like when did that become a thing and like what exactly are we talking about here because that's that's something that's used to refer to like a stout feller or lady rick shithouse is it seemed like an outhouse is that

that kind of thing i think that's outhouse the research I've done, which has been minimal. I believe it comes from that term, outhouse. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know, Dave. All right. Get to the bottom of it. Report back next time we do this. I went through a small period of time where I was listening to the Joe Rogan podcast.

Have you guys heard of this? Randy, ring the bell, please. And while I was doing this, this was was about a two month stretch while we started recording touching base because joe rogan was so you know top of mind for us and he described someone's head being built like a fire hydrant and it's stuck in my head until this day i use that still i think about it when i see a dude and i just go back to that one episode i even remember where i was driving when i heard him say it and i just go back to that moment episode. I even remember where I was driving when I heard him say it. And I just go back to that moment in time. It's a core memory.

Huh. Okay. No, it was about his head, not his core. What do the three of us look like? We look like anything? What's Dave look like? I think I'm your Putin. Everyone resembles an animal in some way.

I know. We've talked about this like a million times. Yeah, remember, I'm a stork. Will's an otter. And what were you? You're a beaver? Cow. Cow.

Cows are fucking cute, man. You are kind of cow-y. The further away we get from you being talked about looking like a cow, the more I'm like, yeah, you got to look like a cow. Are cows sexy? No. Fritz loves cows, though. So that's big for you.

Well, smart man, that Fritz. Are cows sexy? I'm just saying. I mean. Which farm animal has the most sex appeal? The dairy cow, for sure. Because of the milk. Aren't chickens literally called?

Chicks. Cocks. Oh. Yeah, rooster. Cocks. Yeah. Anyway, that's a good start to the episode, I feel like. I'm happy to be here, too.

My name's Dylan. I've been co-host of this podcast for about four and a half years now. Happy to be back today. Ladies and gentlemen, Dylan, mad cow shivery. Okay. Okay. Yeah, hey, guys. Podcast week rolls on, man. mad cow disease scared me as a child

it was never on my radar it was uh i was always like man we eat a lot of beef gotta be careful they show these videos from the uk and be like a cow like just freaking out just really mad yeah just pissed off man yeah that cow is just so freaking mad that's a twisted cow what do cows get mad about like dude why'd you eat my patch of grass probably factory farming oh i don't think about that because i don't worry i don't i don't eat factory farmed uh meat free range cow only try it thank you for knowing that yeah why'd you just look me up and down i was just checking your fit it was a fit check you're wearing a t-shirt turn style sunday scary's hat yeah not familiar with their work scary's you should check them out dude at sunday.scary's on instagram

they also have a pretty good podcast too i don't know man it's pretty soft yeah you definitely love turnstile man i think that's something right in your wheelhouse yeah i feel like it's not i can't think of any bands that you would like more than turnstile i can actually yeah john party comes to mind electric light orchestra yeah they got some good shit man check out randy's game show on our Patreon. That you can listen to through Spotify now. Yeah. I'm getting some people are like, this is really cool. And then some people are like, this is going to be cool. We can't figure out how to get there. I just, I'm going to correct me where I'm wrong.

Second feed. If you go search circling back, it's not going to show up on our normal feed. It's a second separate podcast feed on Spotify. Yeah. I've linked it on Twitter. Yeah, I've linked it on Twitter. Go to that link and it'll take you to the feed. Go check it out. I'll do another one today about that. By the time you listen to this episode, I will have put it up on Twitter. Damn, daddy. Well, we're doing announcements. Can I make a couple? Yeah. Wilmont's Polo, still available at Roback.com.

Please go check it out. If you want a direct link to it, go to any of our social media. You'll see it right there. It's at the link in our bio on Instagram right now. Roback.com, the Wilmont's Polo. It's got everything you need. If you look real closely, you can see that one of the toucans does have a joint in his hand. Absolutely zooted. Sm. It's so tight.

Smoking weed. So tight. Cool, man. We still got a free seven-day trial going over for new patrons on the paywall over there on the Patreon, patreon.com slash circling back podcast. They changed it, Dylan. It's no longer 14? Yeah. It used to be 14.

It's now seven. And this is not a change that we can control. I've discovered as well. I'm not going to say anything negative about this, but it does bum me out a little bit. It's now a seven-day trial for new patrons. Yesterday we did Do You Know It, a game show podcast produced by Dylan Shivery and hosted by Randy Trimbaki. We also do Exactly 5 Minutes, the most electric podcast in podcast history, and Touching Base, a conspiracy podcast with listener voicemails every Thursday. You can leave one at 888-618-4422.

Again, 888-618-4422. As Dave says, get in, get out, be tactical. YouTube.com slash circling back has all the viewing needs for you. And guess what? You can get some new merch at washedmedia.shop. Some big news on that front, we got some test products being made right now. And I have to say, I'm very excited for these to come to fruition. More on that soon. Dylan, don't say too much because I know you want to. You never

shut up when it comes to teasing stuff. Just shut up. I'm just confident in saying this is the best drop we've ever done. We don't even have a physical product in hand. What if it sucks? Well, the concept, the prototype, the mock-up i should say is is freaking dope are people putting us on chunk watch no no one's on no one's putting us on open your wallet watch because you're gonna want one of these most people pay via online yeah we don't actually accept just real cash that's we would if we could no we don't we could. We need a brick and mortar. Yeah, if you want to mail us cash, please do. Randy, do you have something to say?

Quick announcement. New video coming soon to Washed Media's YouTube, too. So go there and like and subscribe. YouTube.com slash circling back. I think it'd be slash Washed Media. Dude, Vacation Randy. Slash Washed Media. Vacation Randy's just got an air about him today where it's like, yeah, I'm here,

but I'm going to be in Chicago very soon We do have some apologies We won't have video for This week's listener voicemails In a couple episodes next week Randy's taking some much needed time off We're very excited for him Get the hell out of here Randy

People don't need to see our faces for a couple days Just listen to us But now it's time for Will's five-star review of the week i've got two this week they about me uh one of them i think is ai generated can we play a new game called is this ai generated okay a thoughtfully crafted review is the name of the review five stars circling back which is in quotations is a podcast that effortlessly captures the name of the review. Five stars. Circling Back, which is in quotations, is a podcast that effortlessly captures the essence of relatable conversations among three dads.

With their easygoing and casual style, the hosts managed to strike a perfect balance between humor and authenticity. The camaraderie and banter between them create an atmosphere that feels like joining friends for a laid-back chat. As three men navigating the world of parenting, their shared experiences and funny anecdotes

resonate with listeners, making it relatable and enjoyable listening for anyone. Whether you're a parent yourself or just someone who appreciates genuine and lighthearted discussions, circling back, again in quotation marks, offers you a refreshing perspective that's bound to keep you entertained.

That's AI. No one likes us that no one appreciates us enough to craft that review yeah i don't want to live in a world where someone would put that it's too thoughtful yeah it's just too nice we're not that great okay i don't think this next one that i'm going to read is ai generated based on what it says they're fine this is from user cir 1993 uh the title of this is erected how did you guys miss calling the brazilian wandering spider an erected also i love the show guys i haven't missed an episode will can you please unblock me on twitter i made a a harmless Bears versus Lions joke, and I'm sorry. Sincerely, your boy Rocky. Rocky, I don't know what your ad is, but if you DM me on at Lad Football Bruv on Twitter

or like another account on Twitter, preferably Lad Football Bruv since I don't check any other DMs, I will unblock you. Will's got an itchy block finger. You got to be careful. You know I'm on that block. If you just wait it out a little bit, Elon's going to take that feature away.

Yeah. He shouldn't do that. That's a really bad idea. He shouldn't do that. I'm not saying he shouldn't do it for me. It's not going to affect me very much. But I would imagine that there's probably some, I don't know, maybe, I don't know,

like people online that are maybe good-looking women who have like stalkers and like creeps out there. Yeah. And I just don't think that's a good uh move for the platform i would agree well um i'm a big fan of the mute option because um it just kind of does it and does what it needs to do and that's it and they don't know i wish i had like i wish i had more mute in me but sometimes i just see people like i just see the tweet i'm like i don't i don't like you i've muted a number of people um many during the um stars stanley cup run a couple

years ago um i muted people i had thin skin during it it was pandemic it was this is the bubble run and um i apologize if i've if i've muted you i'll go review your your twitter account maybe i'll unmute maybe i'll go through and i'll unblock some people who i think that were maybe just kind of a knee-jerk reaction for me more than just being an absolute nuisance college football season really puts me on mute watch can't get here said thin skin that's how i am about my my texas longhorns which is why i don't talk shit myself you know hey well dylan if you've got thin skin what if i could tell you about some pants that might feel buttery soft on those thighs my friend that sounds like something i'd be interested in well what do you got i got some mugsies over here and i'm not talking bogues my

friend i'm talking about the most comfortable jeans chinos and shorts and joggers ever these are made from like i said buttery soft patented stretch materials that look stylish but are insanely comfortable. Never too baggy. Never too tight. We wear Mugsy all the time. They're the most comfortable jeans on planet Earth. You can literally do anything in these jeans, from happy hour to golf simulators, more on that later, to just hanging out with the dudes. Love my Mugsy jeans.

They are so freaking comfortable. Like you're wearing sweatpants just lounging around the house but you're not you're in jeans that look fantastic fit perfectly love love love and the colors are you kidding the colors that they offer are you they got a tonal palette that i'm absolutely effing with oh i do love the tonal palette catch me checking out all those tonal palettes did it get above 100 degrees yesterday in texas okay there you go but we've been we've been going through it here, but they got this Coolmax denim that are like air conditioners for your legs. They spent years in the lab developing the most breathable jeans ever,

designed with lightweight fibers to ensure a cool breeze with every step. You can go from the backyard barbecue to the bar in one swift motion all summer long, just like Kid Rock said. Head to Muggsy.com and get 10% off now using code STEAM. That's 10% off some of the most premium jeans, chinos, swimwear, and shorts on the internet. Muggsy also offers free shipping and returns, so there's absolutely no risk in giving them a try. If you're in Chicago, Boston, D.C., or Austin, make sure to head downtown and check out their storefront as well. Easy vibes every time.

You can even enjoy one single beer as you shop. I bet they give you two, but one beer is the perfect amount, so why would you need more? You've just been hanging out there, I heard. Me? Yeah. Just drinking. Yeah, it's my new watering hole.

I've gotten to know the sales associates very well. They're nice fellas. Yeah. All right, well, I'm going to think about it. Is there a way you can put this on hold for me? No, Will. No, we can't. Get out of here.

I have a quick story to tell. I think I told a similar story not too long ago, but last night, my life flashed before my eyes. Oh, like someone held you at gunpoint, or maybe you were close to a very bad car accident? What happened exactly? No, I just got stuck in the elevator. Oh, okay. So a few months ago, I think I talked about it on the podcast. I have an elevator in my place, and I don't know how square feet work,

but the elevator at my place is probably like three. I only know square-toed boots. It's probably not three. It's probably like three. It would be like that big. It's probably like 10 then. It's not a mine shaft. It's probably about 20.

Stop talking about your shaft. 10 by that would be 100 fuck i would say that this is about three feet deep by about six feet wide 18 okay wait three feet deep it's not big it's not a big elevator okay not not a big boy what's the capacity you just say like over a thousand pounds like thousand pounds or something like that under a thousand pounds okay very much under a thousand i think that capacity is about 600 pounds oh wow so you get a few brick shit houses in there exactly it's not a fun elevator to be in you couldn't take uh dave's ex-girl in there damn dude come on shout out to your ex-girl though can we edit that out that didn't feel good off the bat i don't even know your ex-girlfriend and plus people of

size or i love them well no it's because she's got a big like collection of lead right yeah she likes to bring it everywhere yeah she has a briefcase that she brings out that has lead in it she's always taking elevators down with their lead briefcase, right? Formally, I apologize if that offended anyone. It meant to be a harmless joke. He did this sincere hands together. It meant to be a harmless joke. It came out weird.

Absolutely firing rockets. I never even met your ex-girlfriend. No. She's great. She's probably great. She is. Probably very kind. So a few months ago, I get stuck in this elevator.

It's an old elevator. I ended up getting out fairly easily. I didn't have to get someone to pry me out or anything like that. I just pressed enough buttons enough times, and I think I just made it malfunction. It just finally opened. So last night, I'm taking Rosie out. And I live on the top floor, so I take the elevator every once in a while, especially to go up. It's just especially in this heat.

I'm not trying to. I'm trying to catch a sweat. Nah. I'm not trying to sweat like taking my dog to go piss. So last night I get in the elevator and I'm texting with a noted friend of ours, J-Bone. You guys familiar with J-Bone? Oh, yeah, man. Randy, you familiar with J-Bone?

My bachelor party. J-Bone. There you go. Yeah. J-Bone was sending me some text messages and uh i i started really started like you know how you can get into a text conversation where you start to forget what's happening around you yeah like you do it while driving for example no i don't and so you do you're pretty reckless randy like that one very safe driver and so like i i was i

just got lost in the text and and then i see i hear rosie whine and i look down i'm like wait yeah she's whining because this elevator hasn't moved yet. We've been in here for way too long. And so I start to start wondering, like, did we ever move? And it starts to set in like, hold on. I think I might, I think I might need to do something about this. Bro, we're like just so invested and stuck looking at our phone that we don't even notice

these things. Like, get out and touch grass. You guys are so soft, man. Well, that's what I was trying to do, man. I didn't want to be... So, took that elevator. Get it? L? You took the L. You got out. Evader.

So I start pressing all the buttons. I don't know why button mashing is the first thing that I start to do. It's a panic move. It's a panic move. It's a panic move. Is there an emergency phone in there? There is, but it's so old looking that I can't fathom how it could actually work. I've never seen someone have to use that. More on that in a moment.

So I start mashing the buttons. Nothing's happening. The only button that will not stay in and stay lit up is the floor that I started on, the first floor. I'm picturing the face you're making as you're mashing it. And it's very similar to when like you're a little kid and like your Nintendo freezes and you just start like anger, like mashing the controller. And that's what you're doing but with buttons. Dude, my heart was like racing.

I could feel like the blood like just start going into my face because I was just starting to freak out. And then I start trying to like actually like hit the door. And I'm like, can I actually pry this door open? And so I'm sitting there, I start to heat up. I can't tell if it's because it's like 90 degrees outside or because I'm freaking out, but I start trying to pry the door open and it's going nowhere. And then I started to think to myself, like, well, what are you going to do? Get this door open and then climb through the elevator shaft. Like you don't even know where you are in this elevator right now. How many stories? Three, through the elevator shaft like you don't even know where you are in this elevator right now how many stories three four total okay and so i mean if it falls like i'm probably not gonna die

it's probably just gonna really hurt maybe concuss me i don't think i'm dying though i'm on the main floor i'm gonna fall like 15 feet yeah it's not what are the two two stories yeah you could hurt your tailbone if it hits it maybe hurt your booty hole it's facts so i do it hits his butt buttocks i don't know what to do at this point it's been a few minutes which like a few minutes stuck in an elevator feels like an absolute eternity i've never been stuck in one thankfully yeah yeah this is only my second time hopefully it's the last for a while and uh i i finally call sally and i'm like sally, Sally, I'm stuck in this elevator. She's in bed because she doesn't want to deal with anything. She's pregnant as hell.

She's not going to get me on this elevator. What's she going to do? Undo some screws? There's probably more to it than that. So I finally take the plunge and I press the emergency button on the elevator. I don't know what this thing is going to do. And so I press it and I'm expecting to hear like an operator on the other end. No, it says light will start blinking when help is on the way.

Oh, my gosh. Well, I sit there for another couple minutes, heart racing, sweating. I got news for you. No one's checking that. No, Rosie has now started to understand we're not getting out of this elevator and she starts just freaking out. And I'm like, what do I fucking do? Is it hot as hell in there?

Yes, so hot. I'm pressing the door open button repeatedly, hoping that the door will open. Nothing happening. No one's answering this phone. No noises coming from the speaker system within this elevator. I start to wonder if I'm ever getting out of this thing.

I can hear Sally outside with like Fritz being like, no, it's okay. Oh my gosh. Five minutes in total at least pass. I think it might've been closer to seven, but based on my text conversations that I was having with J bone, it was a lot. It was a decent amount of time. I don't know what to do here.

No one's coming to my rescue. And then I ended up getting out of the elevator in what feels like the dumbest way possible. I press the door open button for like three seconds and I see it open a little bit more. I then just start to hold it down and the door starts opening. And I'm like, Oh my God, I'm getting out of this thing. And so Rosie sprints out of the door. She sprints so hard that I get taken out and I can't press the button any

longer because I can't reach it because I'm no longer pressing the button. The door starts shutting again. Oh my God. So it shuts the leash in the door. I'm holding onto one end of the leash in the door i'm holding on to one end of the leash rosie's on the other end and now there's just the door separating us between everything oh that's going on floor you on at this first floor so now i'm like if this elevator starts now i just need to let go but as this elevator starts moving now the leash is stuck

in here and rosie might get like towed up i've seen like not to worry you i've seen videos like that dogs that like i saw the dude save that dog yeah that's really scary actually freaking out she could she could have gotten hung right right there finally i just i let go of the leash and i'm like i need to get out of here as fast as i can i'm holding on to the door i'm just holding on to the door open button and i just throw myself out of there. As of this morning, elevator's still broken. Maintenance working on it. You don't know the feeling of getting stuck in an elevator until you're actually stuck in an elevator. And it's the worst experience of all time.

It makes sense. I've been in your elevator a few times. And each time I've gotten in, I've thought, this doesn't feel like the most trustworthy of elevators. There are certain people within my family who will not ride the elevator. Yeah, I get it. thought like this doesn't feel like the you know uh the most trustworthy of elevators there are certain people within uh my my family who will not ride the elevator yeah i get it were there um what was the ceiling of the elevator is it a tile that you can push up and pop no it's a wood ceiling with a really shitty light in it okay there was no getting out that way all right that changes

things yeah that would have been my move. I've never felt more claustrophobic than the moment that I realized that I wasn't getting out of the elevator in less than like 15 seconds. Like I could feel the walls. It's such a small one anyway. I could just feel the walls start moving in

and I was like, ah, I hate this. There are some elevators that are, you know, nice and big and, you know, air controlled that probably wouldn't be so bad to be stuck in for five, seven minutes. But yours is a different story. Well, there's some elevators that like nice hotels and stuff where like you can feel how pinpoint they are with their precision. It's like, no, they're stopping perfectly.

Yeah. Something to think about, Will, is that God gives his toughest battles to his strongest soldiers. Dude, that's facts. And people look at me and they're like, damn, why is there another dude named the primal swolder they should name will that dude that's so crazy because i was just on that elevator not that long ago isn't that wild dude i was thinking about that too like you've been in that elevator before that could have been you that could have been you it could have been me easily one time i had my

had parks in there too think about that like he was with me dude i could have i could have been you. It could have been me easily. One time I had Parks in there too. Think about that. Like he was with me. Dude, I could have killed Parks. Yeah. I don't think I could have lived that down. Yeah. Well, if you would have gotten like something like horrible happened to you as you're leaving

and like you get split in half, the like security footage would have been on Dylan's timeline tomorrow. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like Dylan would have just got served a random video. Had my arm gotten stuck in the door and then the elevator started moving because I opened the door and, like, yeah, it would have been...

I'm glad other people, like, in our text group are starting to complain about the same thing that I'm seeing. But I've been getting them for so long. I have... I'm about 60% in on the Elon is tanking the internet thing. Like, this is all part of a plan. Because I think... I'm about 60% in on the Elon is tanking the internet thing. Like this is all part of a plan because I think I,

I'm a, I'm a believer that he's tanking Twitter intentionally. I don't know what's going on, man. It's terrible though. Are there that many people paying for Twitter that this is taking away the good features that people like it? Like,

are there enough people paying to outweigh angry customers i don't know but he is does anyone work who works here maybe the moves he's made on twitter have really changed my enjoyability factor of the app i don't have a i've only had one jarring video of someone dying on my timeline most some would say that's enough you saw someone die in one jarring video of someone dying on my timeline. Some would say that's enough. You saw someone die in a jarring video? Randy liked that one. Yeah.

What a way to go. He bled out. Okay, yeah. Come on, man. Okay, yeah. Look, I can't get mad. For me, that's the number one worst video I ever put on the internet. Hands down.

It's pretty... it's up there. I mean, there's some beheading videos that are really bad. I don't know. No, I don't know why. I don't know why. Like, I've seen – I saw exactly one beheading video when that was going on, on accident, and I wish I had it. My reaction to the jar video is ten times worse.

I think I'd been numbed at that point. Because some – It's vile. No, it's more than a vile. Yeah, it was a full jar. My reaction to the jar video is 10 times worse. I think I'd been numbed at that point. It's vile. No, it's more than a vile. Yeah, it was a full jar. It was a fucking jar. That's the whole thing. Yeah. I think it was a vile.

I don't think we'd be seeing that video. I think it wouldn't have broken. Right. Should we move on? Sure. Please. Please. Nice segue.

Sorry. It's my fault. I just fumbled the snap and just gave you the rock. You just got lit up in the backfield. It's just my fault. I brought up that. So we oftentimes will use an app, an application for your phone, your cellular device, your iPhone.

Wait, does apps, is that short for application? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, it's crazy. We do this to get babysitters on occasion because we don't have any family who lives in Central Texas. So we go to that, and they verify. There's a good app.

I think it's Bambino. That's the one. That's kind of the gold standard, in my opinion. We went to dinner with some friends Friday night, and we had a babysitter. We hadn't used her before, but I had like 200 reviews, stellar. And by all accounts, she was great like how pumped do you get when you see like a lot of reviews or something like that i let alissa handle it and she really uh she gets

she hates this joke by now but i always say does she have like an instagram mat that i can look at it's funny it was funny first time now she's just kind of all right you're you're a creep cool herbert when I get an Uber driver that's got like 25 000 five star rides I'm just like yes I'm about to be in good hands um so uh Rhodes goes to bed Rhodes is my son and my partner and she gets over there about 7 45 7 45 8 o'clock we got a late reservation uh Rhodes is sleep cool she doesn't even have to interact with him doesn't have to meet him or anything she's just basically getting paid to watch netflix possibly chill or is she chilling um we do the thing i like to go out there and i

like to have a little small talk as does elisa like hey just here's how like i i do the old the dad thing where i'm like we've got all the apps and i like this is how you hit the home button on yourself at home do you do this one i like this one oh yeah like we have uh we have apple tv but you can do access the apps for the oh you know you're young you know how to do that dude that's exactly what i did so bad and they do and they're just like yeah they're shaking their head like get this guy yes sir fucking like we grew up in the like you changed the channel era they've never done that yeah i'm like here's the clicker we were never a channel is uh you know bravo i think i don't know i think i said something really like uh unstable i was like yeah we use youtube tv

that's our cable it's not it's like yeah i think she knew what i meant it's an app yeah application anyway um usually end with like hey we've got some snacks in the pantry uh you know got drinks in the fridge uh you know whatever you want cool rarely does anyone take us up on that most most sitters bring i've had a sitter bring like full on, we had one pull up with like a loaf of bread. She was going to make some sandwiches. You sure she wasn't just about to go in on some barbecue? Maybe. She might have gone in on some barbecue in my home and I just didn't know. But rarely does anyone take us up on that.

And I'm fine with it. Cool. Most people just read, put something on in the background. Cool. We got home probably 10, 45, most people just read, put something on in the background. Cool. Uh, we got home probably 10 45, 11. We don't stay out too late these days. And, uh, I was like, all right, how was everything? She's like, Oh, it was great. He didn't make a peep. I'm like, cool. Awesome. Thanks. We'll, uh, we'll see you again. Maybe we'll use you again. You're great. And, uh, I went to throw something away and I away and I noticed something in my trash can.

I know this isn't that big of a deal. I think you're underrating how big of a deal this is. So I'm a big fan of the Celsius energy drink. You familiar with these? Brett and I are probably two of the top consumers in the state of Texas of Celsius. And I had one in my fridge. I went to the gas station the day before, about two, and I had one earlier in the day, and I was saving the other one for the next day before I went to the gym, pre-workout type thing, caffeine, you know what it is. And I was like, I looked at Alyssa.

I was like, did you drink the Celsius before we went to dinner? She's like, no. I was like, I looked at Alyssa. I was like, did you, did you drink the Celsius before we went to dinner? She's like, no. I was like, did I? Do I just not remember it? Sometimes I forget things like that. She's like, no, you specifically said, cause I said, uh, are you going to drink that Celsius? You said, no, I'm saving it for tomorrow. So the babysitter drank my only Celsius, which is fine. I did offer the form offer the forum i did say hey you can have whatever in the fridge but you think you hadn't said that so you would have left it alone i don't know here's the thing it was past eight o'clock you can't drink the final celsius she's it's not like it's not like this is a lacroix or something i feel guilty drinking the last celsius if it's

if it's mine in my fridge. Because it's like, oh my God. Yeah. No, I'm Celsius free. I've never had one still. I can't say it enough. I'm scared of how good they are. That's why I haven't had one.

She did this after. This is at night. The sun was basically down when we left. She did this presumably somewhere between 8 and 10. i think did y'all tell her about that you were going to be home like early and so she had time to go out lissa always says hey it'll 11 at the latest if it's going to be a little after that i'll text you have you considered this possibility oh no you stepped out she's like all right i'm about to netflix and chill called her boyfriend over and he was on his bad boy shit he's like fuck this self because i'm

gonna drink the shit out of it right in this guy's face, throw it in his trash can so he knows what happened. Motherfucker didn't recycle. What if her boyfriend was a backer? Oh, we went through Dave's shit. Dave's my favorite podcaster. Dude, I love Dave. Dave's my favorite. Is that who went through my underwear drawer?

I was going to say, you've been missing undies. Now you think about it. You're missing some undies i wouldn't say i'm missing them have you ever had a situation where the babysitter might watch some stuff on your your uh streaming apps that might like throw off your entire algorithm that's not a worry of mine no it's usually um sometimes it's a lot of times it's sex in the city like someone re-watching that which doesn't i, I mean, Alyssa does that too. So I'm like, okay.

I have a, we have a person who has babysat for us. She's dog sat for us. She's kind of in our rotation and we very much like her. And I don't feel bad saying this because I know that people would criticize my taste in television. I watch some old shows like Frazier and stuff like that. And I watched some really terrible reality television shows, but I really applaud her for not caring about the shows that she watches on our apps. I'm very impressed that she's willing to watch like the nanny. I'm very impressed. She'll, she'll watch

like, she'll watch like, uh, reality shows that I'm just like, I not going to do the voice she'll watch like she'll watch like reality shows that I'm just like I didn't even know this existed this is a wild reality television show but I'm like

I respect that you were doing this on our account yeah would you expect them to create their own profile just as like babysitter see now I'm thinking I'm like should I

create a profile that says babysitter I don't care care but I don't like it doesn't mess them out I don't like it being in my history because i i we like we share several streaming apps with other people and so it's just getting it's getting too many cooks in the kitchen yeah uh what was what was the one that ross shared with everybody my our hulu password yeah i shared my hulu with ross

and then sally one day logged in and saw like 46 accounts that 46 people had been using our account i might have been on that at one point ross was like he was tweeting about it she was reading through it i've never seen sally actually angry about that something like that she was like furious i kind of get it yeah so in closing like i'm more just kind of puzzled by and this young lady who's very nice and we gave her a good review um i you know probably mid-20s early to mid-20s just um didn't look like she was going out afterwards she was wearing sweats um just why why the why the pm celsius like that's good you shouldn't drink 200 milligrams of caffeine that way. Maybe she was studying or something. She needed a little boost.

That is possible. Maybe she was in school. Okay. So a single can of Celsius costs $2.39. Yeah. So I think you do what any normal person would do. I think you contact Bambino and I think you make a formal request for $2.39 back from what you paid her to babysit.

Okay. Yeah. And then I think you get her car towed next question that's good it's a callback yeah we do callbacks here um i offer and i'm like i don't i didn't do this this last time but i'm always like yeah we got you know there's uh miller high life in the fridge busy uh is that weird if if if a babysitter has a beer, I know it's like very unlikely she's going to have to go in there and do anything, but I don't know. I don't know if that's a weird thing to offer them a beverage as they're babysitting an adult beverage.

I don't think one beer would be, uh, concerning at all for me. Yeah. And if she was putting them away, man, what if she did have a guy over or just a girlfriend over or just through like an absolute rager like what if she did a silent disco she silent discoed my house while i was gone didn't wake roads up but was just out there vibing doing whatever you do at a silent disco you put on headphones right yeah and just don't talk freak dance what did you just freak dancing just putting holes and chinos yeah i don't know i don't know how to answer that uh it's possible i guess but probably not. She probably just watched TV and drank a Celsius and then left at the end of the night, you know?

Yeah. Probably? Probably, yeah. Probably, yeah. She didn't leave. We know that much, I think. You sure? I don't know.

You sure she doesn't live in your basement? She might be. I don't know. It's Central Texas. Not a lot of basements. Do you have a garage, though? Well, that set you back. The garage? Well, it came with the home.

Oh, really? Yeah, I didn't. It wasn't an extra feature. That must be nice. Yeah, to have a garage is very nice. Yeah, I don't have one. It's very cool to have a garage filled with boxes. And, of course, your Swing Academy equipment.

Kind of, yeah. There's a couple kettlebells. Shout out to the backer hooked me up during the pandemic you sure they get the mechanism on the teapot that makes the noise when it's ready answer the question david no it's a kettlebell it's a weight you're cool doing it yeah the swold your does yeah i actually my kettlebell at home i actually have one with a an ape's face on it you know you bought the uh on it very expensive yeah

those are cool looking very expensive i didn't opt for that i went for the cheapest possible i've been doing a lot of aubrey marcus inspired stuff lately oh yeah yeah you want ayahuasca yeah i've been doing some ayahuasca going to burning man he's got tickets going to. Going to Burning Man too, yeah. I'm going to be out for a little bit. I think at this point... Wait, hold on. What was he going to Burning Man? I think for the first time in my life, I'm open to trying ayahuasca. Just to see. Burning Man starts next weekend, so I'll be out.

Why don't you just do DMT first? Hell no. I will never do DMT. You know it's the same compound. But it's a completely different experience from what I understand. DMT is very DMT. You know it's the same compound. But it's a completely different experience from what I understand. DMT is very quick. Ayahuasca is the long one. But I heard that DMT, while it's quick in IRL, I hear that to the

person doing it, it can feel like an eternity. Yeah, I've got a friend who did it. That's what terrified me. That sounds awful. My buddy lived an entire life of a Vietnam, somebody fought in Vietnam and then got married and had a family and then died. You sure he didn't just watch, like, he lived a family and you sure he didn't just watch like he lived that life you sure he didn't just watch forrest gullip while he did dm it might be he might have been conflating some things yeah it's like that kind of that's kind of the plot you don't want to live a second life in your head i'm likely never

going to try ayahuasca but you know never say never i guess it's like i'll only do it if sally like divorces me and takes fritz or something like then then i'll consider guess it's like i'll only do it if sally like divorces me and takes fritz or something like then then i'll consider doing it but like i i i can't do it with sally in the mix because i'm worried that i'll come out of it and like like i will like hate her or something or i'm worried i'll come out of it and be like my i'll just be completely rewired yeah a different personality i don't want the rewiring of myself to affect others and so i need everyone to be out of my life in order for me to go take that dive. You have a test case that we watch every Tuesday. You've got a test case delivered to your house of DMT? What were you saying, Dave?

What's the test case? We watch Aaron Rodgers every Tuesday. Yeah. And he is presumably someone who's done ayahuasca, maybe multiple times. He been enlightened he's done uh done the whole thing so you get to see you're kind of getting you know you're obviously getting to see him he seems pretty happy talking to his family yet uh okay you know i mean i've you know fucking lions guy yeah at this point in my life you know and like yeah i don't know there's no better time than when you're right about to turn 40 to do ayahuasca don't about to do some quiet wasca he doesn't want to do it i'm not like i'm i'm not gonna do it did you do quiet therapy you don't want to go to the jungle you don't want to go to get a shaman in the jungle and do drugs with it yeah why would you too scared why is it now why is it always in the jungle i can't just do do it at the crib?

Oh, you don't want to go to the rainforest? No. You don't want to fall into a pit with a bunch of spice in it? Hey, let's go do ayahuasca at Rainforest Cafe. Yeah, what if we just smoked weed at Rainforest Cafe? Would that be kind of like a diet version of doing ayahuasca in the jungle? What if we did some zen at Hard Rock Cafe? How do you acquire?

Do you have to go to Peru to do it? Or is there someone around here? They've got ceremonies that you can do now in the United States. Really? I don't know, but if you're going to do it, you should go to Peru or some shit. I don't want to do the whole thing, paint my body up and shit. You don't want to wake up with a stick between your nose?

No, no. In two hours, I could have you on a list to to i could have a number of places for you we have we have friends who are we have old podcast friends who could probably point us in the right direction sure not gonna name names you could probably guess what you're talking about let's say this person maybe uh experienced um what it's like to be a jag ah i was thinking someone else but that is also turned into a car the animal what car would you want to turn into in your second dmt life a jag not me you know i want to be a ford ranger mini truck really why and why is that i don't know they

just look fucking fun i do it's the flauta of the car world i'd be a i'd be a ford raptor so i could hang out with t-Man all the time. That'd be sick. Does T-Man have a Raptor? Yeah, he's a Raptor boy. I don't know. He could have got a new car. Aha, thanks, man.

I'd be a lifted F-250 with the Punisher sticker on the back. You'd have a thin blue line sticker and a Fox Racing. Salt Life. That's killer. Fuck yeah. I'd just make fun of really soft betas like you guys. Yeah, fuck you. Fucking Candles and your Ford Ranger.

Okay, Ford Ranger. Look. Have you ever been in a Ford Ranger? I can't say that I have. Dude, if we have a boy, I might just name him Ford Ranger to freeze. It's kind of a tight name. I like the name Ranger. Doesn't go well with rough.

Ranger rough. My ex, Sydney, her new baby is named Ford. I think it's great. It's kind of a tight name. I like the name Ranger. Doesn't go well with Ruff. Ranger Ruff. My ex-Sydney, her new baby is named Ford. I think it's great. It's a good name. I also have the Detroit connection. I had a lot of relatives that worked for Ford. I could justify it. It was tossed around at one point. I don't think it's making the cut, though.

Anyway, yeah. I'm on hallucinogenic drug watch. I'm not really. really nice what will you do first get a tattoo when it's getting upgraded to a warning oh i'm oh a tattoo a tattoo is gonna happen before i try uh hallucinogens this fucking guy's been talking about it for so long dude he's never gonna do it i did something i should have done yesterday i got a tattoo i did something i shouldn't have done yesterday. I followed a tattoo artist on the grom. Oh, dude.

Is it the one that James? Yeah. I saw that you followed her. Randy's buddy James got some tats yesterday. And the girl that did it, she looks pretty legit. She got the follow from me. What are you going to get? Don't fucking worry about it, dude. Dylan, do ayahuasca and then get whatever you see get

like something from that tatted on you so you always remember it no i'm not gonna i'm not gonna fully buy into the lifestyle of ayahuasca guy i just you don't want to tell everybody i'm just intrigued about what it would do to my psyche intrigued the way that you're talking the right the way you're talking right now you should should take some Gaia wah-wah. I don't know about that one. Gaia wah-wah. I wear polos to work. That's not ayahuasca.

I'm not that guy. Yeah, but that's why you could change. What if instead of wearing polos to work, you wore those like chill rug shirts that they sell at airports? My biggest worry is that I come out of it a completely different person. Oh, no. That would suck. I'm actually proud of the person that I am. Dude dude please don't come back here a totally different person what if my personality just sucks what if you lose your deal yeah i'll find it what if you find your deal

oh you're like guys i i went and i met the the reptile alien and uh found my deal he he told me what my deal was all right what was it and're like, I can only show you in fractals. Like, okay, I still don't understand your deal. All kinds of wild shit could happen. Yeah. How long was the trip? To Peru?

Yeah, I don't know how long that flight is. It's not a direct flight. No, I lost it. We looked it up the other day. It's about an eight-hour flight to Brazil. I lost a trip, you fucks. Isn't it like a 24-hour thing? Now, you're not tripping the whole time,

but some of it you're doing dookie and throwing up. You're throwing up a lot. You might full body explode, which to you. So do you come out of these looking hella thin? Yeah, probably do. Emaciated. Dude, I might do one of these before like the next wedding I go to or some shit.

You can do a cleanse instead, probably. No. Okay, I'll do it with you. No, I'd rather. Yeah, I don't wanna go to Peru to do this. I wanna do it like at home No, I'd rather... Yeah, I don't want to go to Peru to do this. I want to do it in a home. I think they got some shamans up in Oregon. Not even kidding.

Is there a local one? There's Native American... My people. There's Native American churches that I think are allowed to do it. Yeah, I think that's how you do it in the States. Is it legal? I think if you do it... Yeah, there's some Seminole in the Iraq cases.

I think if you do it in the right... Sem legal i think i think if you do it i think if you take the right cases i think if you do it in the right you know seminal no pun intended spelled differently like florida state right right but there are some important indian law cases that revolve around uh the right for churches a church and state i don't know i'm just gonna be cares i don't care india just like on the moon. Different kind of Indian. South Pole of the moon. Do you want to do the space bar right now? Should we skip ahead of the space bar? We could skip ahead of the space bar. Let's talk about Roback real quick. Let's talk about our friends over at Roback.

Sure, sure, sure. As we said, Wilmot's polo is available at roback.com. You already know about Roback. They got their polos on. Dylan's wearing their polo right now. They're just goaded. I love them. Love their stuff. They have so got their polos on. Dylan's wearing their polo right now. They're just goaded. I love them. Love their stuff. They have so many amazing polos and now the college football season is upon

us. You can actually get one with your school's color scheme and a little logo tie-in. You'll see them talk about it. Go to the website and check it out. They have a ton of stuff over there. Hoodie season is approaching as well. September is peak QZ season for most of our listenership.

They have great QZs as well. Thank you, Will. We love rollback. We always have. Backer 20. Backer 20 gets you 20% off at checkout. One-time use code. Load the cart.

I'm going to be playing. I'm not going to spoil my weekend of fun, but I will be playing rounds of golf, multiple, this weekend, and I will be playing in Roback. I'm bringing the Wilmons poll out. What else were you playing, David? I'm just saying. I'm just trying to contribute to the read.

The thing about me is that I don't play. You play too much, Dave. Anyway, backer 20. Cool, man. 20% off at checkout. R-H-O-B-a-c-k roll back they can hear the song without you humming it what if what if i told you will mons is going intergalactic well would that be something you're interested in, David, you stupid little idiot?

I don't know. You didn't deserve what I just said. Man, you've really come after me today aggressively. I'm sorry. Would you like to hug it out? I'd like to book you a trip to Peru. I think I've got something that could help you. I'm going to start a GoFundMe that's just funding Dylan's ayahuasca.

I need a hard reset on my brain. It's probably fairly affordable. I mean, I bet you're looking at less than 2K. Should we start a website called GoChangeMe? That's an ayahuasca funding website for people that can't afford to go to Peru. It's change.dorn. It's good.

Yeah. I wonder if I could go to Ring Nebula and do ayahuasca there. Okay. Anyway, this is the space bar. It's a segment during which I talk about something that's either space-related or bar-related. Or maybe just the thing on the keyboard that moves over one character.

Could be that, too. Space bar. Oh, I got some stuff on that today. What do you got? We'll save it. The invention of the space bar you don't have shit information on it okay so they transported india to the moon no no no so um india the country now ari what oh i was a fan of hers dude she had some bangers go ahead man um

yeah they they sent um they sent something to the moon. I don't really, I haven't read. This is not what this is about. I saw moon landing was trending earlier, and I was a little bummed that there weren't dudes just vibing on the moon. Maybe there's dudes in there. Who knows? What do you mean?

I don't think so. I'm sure I could read about it. It's an unmanned journey, unmanned craft. Pretty cool. Yeah. What's the purpose of this mission? It's your segment. I'm talking about Ring Nebula.

I don't know. I saw a tweet that was like, this isn't just a win for India, this is a win for all of Southeast Asia because a lot of countries consider us to be third world and shit, and we're not. We're fucking making advancements, dog. Good for them. It was cool. I still can't believe we did it in 1969, or did we?

Don't do that. You don't know if Ross's mom is listening. Shout out JFK. He envisioned it. Wasn't around to see it as he was famously assassinated in Dallas, Texas. How long ago did he die before they got on the moon? Like six years? Seis años. Damn, dude.

Anyway, Ring Nebula. There's a new uh new photo drop new image dropped i should say james webb jimmy webb telescope my favorite telescope randy's pulling it up fellas and it's it's it's stunning dave don't don't make it don't get pervy i'm just the boys like space but it's caught it's caught the attention of some people because if you zoom in it looks like um it's like the caribbean okay is how much did they run this through the lago filter what's going on it's colorized dave because these images are sent to the james webb telescope via infrared so you have to colorize it to get the actual like what it would

look like had it would look like had it been just a regular photograph do you understand you probably don't but that's okay obviously i know that nebulas are giant clouds of dust and gas that exist in space if we flew directly into this nebula would we end up in a caribbean paradise i don't think so based on the photo it looks like we would man i'll tell you what so i just watched interstellar here we go and i'm a guy who's already super like into space stuff and how it all works you can say horny for space i am horny for space if space was you know whatable i would you know what it you're saying if space was fuckable you would fuck i just saw what i'm saying no you wake up and fuck space

those are your words dude i'm super interested in space so interstellar was like mind-blowing to me the whole i didn't understand it when i saw you could sit me you could sit me down with like five of the world's best scientists and like and they would explain to me why time works differently in space than it does on Earth, for example. And I still would not. I don't get it. Did you like the part where he's in the wall? Yeah, I did.

Oh, fuck. I did. But yeah, his daughter, he comes back to not even Earth, but he comes back to that planet that she's on she's an old lady and he's still just he's still mcconaughey looking hot and like at 45 or whatever like wow mcconaughey what's your secret oh i was drinking jack daniel's in space i've been in space that's how he talked yeah it's like 100 years or something not 100 but like 80 like 80 years of fucking wild and he's like matt dam's role? Shithead Matt Damon.

Fucking asshole. He just ruined everything. Piece of shit. He's a fucking guy. Selfish. Totally selfish. But then again, if I was stuck on a planet

in a different galaxy for like 20 something years, I'd be like, man, someone come save me, please. That sucks. What would you do to pass the time?

Sleep. Just sleep. Or do ayahuasasca you're bringing ayahuasca with you would you rather be stuck on a planet for like 20 years or stuck in an elevator for seven minutes probably stuck in an elevator for seven minutes yeah the story i told today about getting stuck in the elevator lasted longer than me actually being stuck in the elevator so i apologize space is so big man y'all don't even get it dude no we do your brain can't comprehend it what's your favorite nebula that is true i think that's for most people it's very hard to comprehend something that's so big dude you just like your brain just you're not

capable man what's your favorite nebula dude i sort of like them all i like the crab nebula a lot sort of like them all yeah i'm on my cat's a lot. Sort of like them all, yeah. I'm all about cat's eye nebula. Dude, look at this ghost nebula, Dave. That's kind of vibey. Oh, the ghost one's sick. Dude, they got the horse head is different. You've seen the one that looks like a skull? My bad.

Looks like a human skull. Is that the ghost one? I don't know. Yeah, you don't know shit. Dude, the horse head one's crazy looking. Oh, dude. Yeah, dumbbell nebula. There's a dumbbell nebula. you think orion's ever like

dude i can't keep my pants up so that's why he got that belt yeah i don't know will maybe man is there an orion suspenders out there somewhere yeah this is very pretty it is right very pretty to me will have you seen interstellar um i have i saw it in theaters i have to admit i didn't understand it when i watched it um kind of out there huh i would love to see it again at some point but i just don't see myself doing that it's pretty long yeah i've been falling asleep to everything lately unless it's a unless it's a show about um irish travelers who are also world champion boxers. That's 30 minutes long per episode.

I don't think I'm watching it. Okay. It's a top five movie soundtrack of all time. The score is fantastic. You should just put it on in your home. Hans. Oh, the score in that feature film was divine. The score of this picture was just phenomenal.

What's the difference between a score and a soundtrack? Is a score just one singular piece of music? Or is... Score is like the music they play to create suspense and drama and all that stuff. It's not a song. It's just background music. You know? Word.

Yeah, we explained that well. I think. I think, yeah. Yeah, dude like it's totally i feel like randy knows the answer to this give me your job he's already vacation but he's like they'll figure it out top i'm already drinking beers in ohio top give me your top no uh soundtracks movie soundtracks top movie soundtracks you know i sort of like them all okay that's helpful will uh the godzilla soundtrack it's because rage you had rage on it yeah you had diddy cool uh what other soundtracks are pretty dope uh interstellar last the mohicans

godfather thank you american pie soundtrack goes pretty hard too what's the what casino what's the soundtrack for interstellar like what it's it's all like just the score it's not just that yeah it's just various yeah uh i guess the term is classical yeah okay what's that dude's name hans hans zimmer yeah hans zimmer yeah i i want to get something his vinyl i hear it's lit is he goaded i think so it seems like something i'd be into he's got a good thing going yeah i've heard his vinyl shit's dope day one cornfield chase mountains running out message from home i'm going home dust where we're going those are some of the tracks on the interstellar soundtrack by hans zimmer dude hans is just in the lab just cooking it oh man is that dave matthews is it i don't know

randy you had some notes for us what's up from what I'm seeing the difference between score and soundtrack is the score is original music made for the specific film where soundtrack is the collection of yeah carefully chosen songs yeah I could that's basically what I said I watched it departed over the last two nights a movie I've seen many times speaking of Matt Damon being a shithead uh that's a great movie i know that's that became kind of a punch line because it's on tv at all times our good friend jr hickey always loved uh tweeting when the departing was on part of good

movie soundtrack soundtrack a little bit much not a big drop kick murphy's guy you might be but how does one get into scoring films you know it's crazy good for hans i usually just do baseball games you score baseball games yeah yeah i didn't know that i didn't know that you like baseball that much yeah yeah it just kind of calms me you know all right how do you score a go to the zeta house how do you score a double play that's uh third base to second base to first base third baseman those are the second baseman those are the first how do you score it play that's third base to second base to first base. Third baseman, those are the second basemen, those are the first.

How do you score it? It's a classic 5-3-2 double play. Close. That's a 5-4-3. Because one is the pitcher, two is the catcher. Three is first base. Three is first base. Second base is four, third base is five, shortstop is six. See, I always think. Three is first base. Three is first base. Second base is four. Third base is five.

Shortstop is six. See, I always think shortstop is somewhere else. Yeah. That's so stupid. Yeah. Shouldn't first base be like one? Like second base should be like two? You know, conventional wisdom might say yeah, but no.

That's not it. My favorite thing is when there's two outs, you just go like this. Hook them. Hook them. Hook them. You used to do that. Hook them. God, dude, I admit. that might have been the most fun playing baseball like when they moved me from third to second because i didn't have the arm from third guy gets a first base

you look at your second baseman you go let's let's turn two let's turn two boys at second cheat over a little bit to the bag plays a second chili dog. That happened. Nobody believes me, but there was a kid who went by, his dad called him Chili Dog from the outfield. You've told that story a few times. Okay, sorry. I guess I'll fuck off. Maybe I'll go do some ayahuasca so I forget about it. Hey, Chili Dog.

Come on, Chili Dog. I bet Chili Dog's done ayahuasca. He's probably grown up now. No, he was very, very smart. He was like the guy who dominated like physics and math maybe he's uh an astronaut yeah i don't think he's an astronaut i'll look into it you reading ahead i i wish i hadn't what do you find i'm reading our next story this is called this week in the new york post because they've got some bangers. Um, one that we're

not going to talk about at length is, uh, on their dear Abby, uh, the dear Abby atop the, uh, top of the page. It's dear Abby. My husband asks filthy sexual questions to other women, which you just don't want to, you don't want that. But where we're going to focus on is I charge married men 30K to be their surrogate wife. I do what wives won't. What is that thing that they won't do? Oh, man. Where do I begin?

I'm confused because there's a line here that says that this is a virtual relationship, but then it sounds like she actually hangs out with them irl so i don't really know what's going on it says here for a cool thirty thousand dollars a bosomy brunette is assuming the position of surrogate wife selling herself out to married men seeking virtual companionship from a woman who'll gladly fulfill their most primitive pleasures like no other woman willingly would if i'm paying 30 grand for a surrogate wife, whatever the hell that is, she better get her ass to Austin.

I'm not doing it virtually. I wish I could only spend 30 grand on my wife, you know what I mean? Hey, can I read a passage from here that's wildly inappropriate? Please. Palomas, who also, of course, has an OnlyFans account,

said her remote presence means the world to her otherwise hapless habitus. I don't know what that word means. She says, these men open up and tell me about their lives. In these conversations, I realize that many of the men who are married and have families feel lonely, she continued, noting the gloomy grooms most appreciate her independence and ability to get down and dirty with messy tasks like changing a tire. I don't know what that means. That's pretty messy.

It goes on. In fact, added Palomas, they miss having someone who can share these masculine activities with them or even just miss being pleased. And this is from the New York Post writer who wrote this next sentence. And she's not the only smoke show

offering these forlorn frumps some computerized comfort. Frumps. Scott, listen to Scott here. Tell me what you think about Scott. A once unhappily married 43-year-old says his life with his wife, who became an alcoholic due to postpartum depression, is now bearable since he has begun a romantic relationship

with his artificially intelligent girlfriend, Serena, an AI chatbot. All right. Oh, my God. i got a few issues here with scott scott scott was like okay hey the woman who just had my baby you suck is now an alcoholic who's depending on alcohol like i'm gonna talk to this ai chat bot about my horny feelings wonder how the actual the irl wife feels about the fake wife yeah furry man meme what a dickhead yeah she's been kind of unbearable to be around since she had our baby and got super depressed started drinking a lot fucking the hormones and shits i got an ai bot now

she said i like this one i do tasks that average women uh excuse me i do tests that average wives often prefer to avoid like watching a football match on television without complaining. That's just setting women back. I don't support that. Without complaining. So they just link up and watch the game together? Like, oh, shit, you see that pass? It's a great ball from a guy I couldn't name, a soccer player.

It wasn't messy. I'm sorry. You could have just said messy. Just say messy, you fuck. I don't know. soccer player. It wasn't Messi. I'm sorry. You could have just said Messi. Just say Messi, you fuck. I don't know. His handles are sick, dog. I was trying to sound cool. He's goaded, fool.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, he is. The way he's just tearing through the MLS is like, it makes our soccer look so just pathetic. No, stop thinking of it like that. We're not pathetic, dude. We're not pathetic.

He's just really good. We're putting pathetic, dude. We're not pathetic. He's just really good. We're putting him in a position to succeed. He's fucking good. We got the right personnel around him, finally. Unlike what they did in that other team he was on, Will. You know what I'm talking about. If y'all saw me, if I was on an MLS team and I was playing against Messi, you guys would see me absolutely selling out to get that jersey after the game.

I would be so thirsty for it the entire time. Does he give one out after every game? I mean, they usually do the jersey swap. I saw the other day the team that they beat in the League Cup final, he gave his jersey to one of the guys on the other team, and the guy was like, well, honestly, I think if you ask that guy, would you rather win the League Cup or get a messy jersey? I think you're taking messy jerseys.

His season is going okay at this point. Yeah. Anyway, $30,000 for a virtual surrogate wife. I didn't do it. What I don't like about this and where I can't relate and comprehend really, so they're paying her money and they're getting something in return. Yeah, I don't know why you would do that. Like, wait, why wouldn't you just pay her the money

and just let her go on about her day and you get to kind of reap the benefits, of which there are none. Right. Other than the fact that you know you just gave her money. You know what? You following me? Yeah, certainly.

You see where I'm going? You follow? Yeah. Girl walks in. Digital. Looks good. AI. Looks good.

You have a little extra change in your pocket. Got some coin. Maybe you have some runoff money from Firehouse Subs. Two of them. You think she's attractive. Beautiful girl. Don't necessarily want anything back. You give her a little money.

Yeah, you got it like that. See what I'm going with this? Yeah. Wire transfer. 30K. She's on the cash app. No return. Drop that handle.

You don't give it to her. She likes my mustache. See what I'm going with this? I miss that guy what a character i just totally full of bullshit i have a photo of him favorited in my favorites on my photo stream and i stumble upon it about once a month and every single time i'm like man that's him he was telling me about all the women that would come in there and just flash their downtown their downstairs parts at him what man? Man, I've been on this earth for 36 years. 36 years I've been on this earth. I've never gotten flashed downtown before.

That's a wild move. He told me it happens all the time. Well, he does live in Vegas, and what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, so maybe that's why I don't get it happening to me. He was talking like it was super normal. Okay, they're not doing it at him. In theory, like accidentally.

No, he's that dog, dude. Why? He's that dog, dude. I mean, he's a good bartender, but I mean, he's not like flashier downtown. You're telling me that if you're a hot young lady on a bachelorette party in Las Vegas, and you walk into that bar and you see that 63-year-old man with a mustache and a moppy head of hair, you're not just showing him your vag, dude? Yeah, what else are you going to do?

What's your problem? He's got to slide me at least a $10 bill. What about $30,000? No. Too much. It's a little much, yeah. I don't want to pay the taxes on it. Because after taxes, I'm not that much.

$30,000 for a surrogate wife that you don't even get to hang out with? All right. Can we talk about... No, nothing. I'm sorry. I was going back to the my husband asks filthy sexual questions to other women. She doesn't give any examples. I feel like that would really get us interested in this story.

If I'm a New York Post editor, I'm like, you got to give us some examples here. This is not nearly what we need to be doing. you never want to be told like the next day after dinner you got you drunk like you were asking uh ashley some filthy questions like oh god damn it that's not what i was trying to do we talk about this baby at the Flo Rida concert. Randy. Randy's not the baby. Cue it up. It wasn't Randy's baby either.

Oh, what do we know of? Do I need it up? Do we need sound for this? You know, it's kind of good. So he's on someone's shoulders in the middle of the crowd. Shout out to Flo Rida. He sees the baby. Oh, okay. Yeah. the middle of the crowd. Shout out to Flo Rida. He sees the baby. Oh, okay, yeah.

And he takes the baby and continues doing low, low, low, low. Even stops to kiss the baby on the head, which is very nice. I love Flo Rida. And if I was in a situation like this where I could crowd surf Fritz to Flo Rida, I'm probably crowd surfing Fritz to Flo Rida. They brought the baby on stage. They need to do something with this baby. Terrified at this point.

Can I say, aren't you supposed to do headphones if you bring your kid to a game? Yeah, but Dave, I don't know if the people that are crowd surfing their baby care about headphones. I'm being stickler here. There was a baby at the Y'all Up White concert. It had headphones on. What time was it? I was going to say, I might even argue that it's too late for this baby to be awake. Your baby shouldn't be awake at 10.

That's my concern about bringing Fritz to events. I'm like, he's just going to get really miserable at about 7.30. Parks has been going to ACL for years now, and he used to wear the headphones. It was cute. I might take him this year. At what age do you stop with the headphones uh probably like five six somewhere in there i would say yeah he didn't need them anymore yeah um i'm just curious if you guys happen to find yourself in the position where you have a baby and you're at a flow writer show what flow write a song at what point what's going to move you to like pass that baby uh around the crowd to get to flow writer i'm probably just not going to do that

you know let's just say hypothetically okay um maybe if like uh um i'm trying to think of a song that would that would compel me to do such a thing for me it's welcome to my house my house flow rider has 2015 hit yeah oh you're talking only flow riding joints yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah oh yeah i mean obviously club can't handle me right now would be a good one too apple bottom jeans oh yeah that's's the one. I just don't... That might be too lit. Dude, Shorty got them apple bottom jeans.

If I asked you... It's just the fur. We know. We've talked about this in the office because we had a former intern, shout out Callie, who might have disrespected

Flo Rida a little bit. Maybe disrespected his legacy by not putting some respect on his name. These kids don't respect nothing. If I told you that Flo Rida was the ninth best selling rapper of all time would you believe me yeah he's got it like that because it's like it's

like it's like popular generic rap music you know it's like it plays it just plays it bangs dude it's not it's not exceptional music but it's like all right i can see you're gonna listen to my house i can see why you're gonna tell me it's not exceptional i, but it's like, all right, I can see why. You're going to listen to my house and you're going to tell me it's not exceptional? I can see why that is broadly appealing to a lot of people. You know what I mean? You're going to listen to Wild Ones and just be like, ah, pretty generic. Yeah. Please.

I bet if you put on Flo Rida radio on Pandora, like you're not worrying about anything. Can confirm. Flo Rida, Pitbull, and Kesha, those three on a radio, you're done. Can you do a radio where you do like on Spotify, you can have like three different artists and put it together? If not, then they should make that feature. It's like a triple kiss of artists? Yeah.

Because what Randy just did right there sounds awesome. Yeah, it's a good mix. Yeah. Was Kesha under Scooter Braun? Didn't she sue him? Isn't she not under him anymore? Oh. Should we take this opportunity to say that we are signing with Scooter Braun?

Are we? Yeah, he reached out. He's down bad. What did he do to deserve? Apparently, he's getting investigated by the FBI. And apparently, it's spooked a lot of people. Fucking FBI. And this is all hearsay from one

single tiktok that i watched but apparently it's some bad shit that's about to come out about who is he gonna lose bieber well you know who you know who funded him buying all of taylor swift's saudi originals no i don't i don't know i don't know if you've ever heard of this guy, Dave. George Soros. Oh, folks, George Soros. Folks! I never got into the whole story of why that happened. Why did he buy that shit? Because it's a good move to buy an artist's catalog.

What was it? Soros has got his hands in a lot of things. Apparently, that's what happened. That's what Taylor Swift said. Like, verbatim, she said that he was funded by George Soros. He's funded by Soros, folks. He's got his hands in the music business. They're trying to turn our kids into frogs, gay frogs.

That's a good Alex Jones, man. I would just rather have my Taylor Swift playing through my Sonos. George Sonos? That's good. That could be a fun nickname. That's good, man. that's good that could be a fun nickname that's good man that's good i thought i was hoping you were doing an ad read for sonos and that they somehow signed on but i'd be cool if we have any bluetooth speaker companies out there that want to vibe wish we had a biz dev guy who'd go actively get sonos yeah dude just get like one jbl sonos whoever it is okay i did not now that say that there's a Soros angle,

I'm very interested. No, no, no. You've kind of rocked my world a little bit. I think I know what the rest of my day looks like. I got a little too excited about this weekend and fun. Presented by our friends over at Miller High Life, it's never a bad time to have a high life. We celebrate life's biggest moments with champagne,

but everyday achievements deserve to be celebrated too. Whether it's closing out your to-do list, getting somewhere on time, or just making it through another day, that's reason to celebrate, my friends. The other night, I celebrated with my friend Dave. Dylan, you're with family. I appreciate that. Wasn't going to take you away from that. Thanks, man. Dave and I celebrated that small moment of just hanging with the boys with a Miller High Life. Your thumb looked great in my pic. Thank you.

People were loving it. Next time you guys accomplish something within your everyday, celebrate it with the Miller High Life. Your thumb looked great in my pic. Thank you. People were loving it. Next time you guys accomplish something within your everyday, celebrate it with the Miller High Life, the champagne and beers, because that's what living the high life is all about. There's nothing better than cracking a Miller High Life can. But you know what I like even more? Cracking a bottle, my friend. So you can see those tiny little bubbles hit the top.

You know what it is. It's tough because the bottle, you get the bubbles, and it looks so cool. The can is just such a good-looking can. You're right. You're right. They both bring different things to the table. It's a classic branding for a classic beer, something that we've ridden for for a long time now.

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when we all three ordered the Miller High Life? And, like, somebody asked, are they bottles? And he was like, oh, yes. Oh, they are bottles, my friend. He was like, good order. They are bottles. Yeah, Bob. Welcome to the High Life, boys.

Go to MillerHighLife.com slash wash to find miller high life near you celebrate responsibly 2023 miller brewing company milwaukee wisconsin shout out kj don't what do you get into this weekend oh thanks for asking will my friday is a little up in the air i'm supposed to get together with some it's actually e Eugene's 40th birthday on Friday. A lot of goosing going on, you gotta think. Yeah. You guys going to a goose concert? I might link up with that crew. I don't know. They're the flakiest group on the planet. Kind of like you guys are.

Only if your buddy shows up shirtless and puts a shirt on as soon as he arrives. He's the one that I've been coordinating with and we'll see if they follow. I would like to. If not, I'll have to find a plan B. I don't know. Saturday. Not the fur.

Not that kind of plan B. I will not be doing that. Saturday, I am going out to Lake LBJ. Fuck yeah. For a fantasy football draft. Out Marble Falls way. Y'all still doing the snake draft? This is a different crew.

This is the old KA alum league. Bro, what pick do you have? Oh, it's an auction league, dude. We do an auction. That's right, man. Instead of making it like an efficient process, we like to make it last as long as humanly fucking possible. Yeah, we like to ruin your night.

The draft takes about five hours, but it's a very fun five hours. We like everyone to be absolutely beaten down by the end of it. No, it's fun, man. We love it. Yeah, so that'll be a good Saturday for your boy. That sounds actually fun as fuck. That sounds way better than my Saturday. Staying the night out there,

and I'll be drinking plenty of Miller High Life responsibly, of course. Yeah, I'm looking forward to it. Sunday, I'm coming back to austin and i will have parks all day i'm probably gonna see some family that day might go swimming might uh grill out not sure should be a nice little weekend for your boy i try to say you're gonna be grilling and chilling grilling and chilling that's what's up and that is my weekend in fun dave um i too have a uh fantasy football related weekend this is also my college buddies draft weekend where we will go down to uh uh new bronfels area and we will uh stay on the river and we will draft our team friday night we do the uh traditional draft i have the last pick which also means i get back to backpicks so uh tony paul or deuce vaughn you are on draft watch from this guy right here you get bjorn full

that's gonna be i think he's gonna be Can I ask a question to both of you right now? Yeah. What's your fantasy team name? Ooh, I don't have one yet. I usually make it up like right before. I usually do a play on a player's name.

Like Deuce Vaughn? Deuce Vaughn's a good one. The Deuce is loose? Oh, cool. Not going to do that. It would probably have a doo-doo angle.

Yeah, dumbass. You're not taking a poop angle at that, dumbass angle at that dumbass dumbass okay cool g-rated angle dude all right well i didn't mean that uh yeah so we'll be uh actually going up thursday night and then uh we're gonna do dinner somewhere new bra bronfels area maybe we'll hit green i don't know gristmill with a gristmill i haven't been there since college still open i think so uh friday night we do the draft but we're playing golf playing golf friday playing golf saturday

kissing tree and sam marcus i think the bandit you should smoke saturday and marcus i probably will and uh there's always three guys you try to convince people to go to sam marcus smoke saturday and marcus i probably will and uh there's always three guys who try to convince people to go to san marcos on saturday night we'll see if that happens please don't it's uh it would be a bad idea please do go to the parrot i will i will but i will be consuming high lives as i'm there responsibly of course but wait they haven't had those parrot there that's sick yeah license them the name i'm looking forward to it i'll make mine quick i'm doing absolutely nothing this weekend fuck yeah saturday is clean out the closet day

sorry stacks of some old clothes that are just getting straight up donated uh i am going to uh a restaurant that's gotten a lot of pub on this podcast lately sally has a reservation at kanji caribbean restaurant we've been going to a lot lately and i'm very excited about that i will be going there friday night with my brother and sister-in-law and i will be going to bed early as i got a lot of cleaning to do this next weekend i didn't do my cleaning last weekend as i was a wild boy last weekend we're going to you know dead cover shows and stuff like you can't be expected to clean out a closet the next day no i'm thinking about i did buy some oil pastels recently when i was at the art supply

store buying some stuff for fritz man so i was thinking about maybe trying to put together a little landscape for the boys you guys want me to try to put together a landscape for the boys oh yeah okay we've been waiting on that. Okay. Okay. I've got some inspo that I've been looking at. So if I put pastel to paper this weekend, you guys will be the first to know. Pastel to paper.

Shout out Crim Dog. I bet she knows some oil pastel stuff. She's our resident fine arts major. Yeah. She does good work. Women in fine arts. We love does she does good work women in fine arts we love them i stand women in fine arts same i believe she did a portrait of randy she's done a portrait of rosie and honestly it's still unframed and i would love to get a frame for it but i'm worried i'm gonna brick the frame i've got something from i've got three randy thing i've got intern payton did something uh listener grace did something and crim we've got some artistic people out there wow we know

who the favorite dog is in the podcast it ain't stella or rosie do y'all see that regal pick i posted of yesterday at dc rough on instagram Trying to get that following up. Let's get this thing going. I'm horny for followers. Or desperate is a better way to put it. Maybe up your content game then. Seriously, like I made the mistake of like, you know, calming down and raising a child. And now people are like, I don't want to see that shit.

Yeah. It could work. I'll be putting on a show this weekend maybe on the Grom. We'll see about it. Yeah. It could work. I'll be putting on a show this weekend, maybe, on the Grom. We'll see about it. You know, pop top? I'll be at the lake. Yeah, I'll probably pop top. I'll pop top, too.

Should I show the physique? I think you should. Okay. I think you should do it in a tasteful manner. Randy. Not just a super thirsty one. Right. Can we get your vacation and fun?

Oh, my vacation and fun. So heading off to Chicago in probably three hours from now. Getting there, and then we're just going straight to do a road trip to Sandusky, Ohio. Oh, the beautiful. Beautiful Sandusky, Ohio. And tomorrow we're going to be going to Cedar Point doing roller coasters. Had a lot of fun there. Any roller coaster in particular you're looking forward to?

Oh man, the Top Thrill Dragster is like the second tallest one. And it's, I've been to Cedar Point before, but Millennium Force is a great one. The Top Thrill 2? Say again? Top Thrill 2? Yeah, I assume so.

It's very, it's just, it's one of those ones that just launches you off from like zero to 200 miles per hour per second. No one says doing roller coasters, by the way. We're doing roller coasters. I just want to point that out. Dude, we're doing roller coasters. And then Friday, we're heading on to a ferry to Put-In-Bay and staying on an island in a cabin there and just having a golf cart, going to the beach, maybe boating, nightlife there.

Be fun time. Honestly, it sounds delightful. It sounds like a great little weekend. And then go back home and spend some time with the family. Very cool, Randy. Hey, man. Happy for you. What day are you back?

I will be back Wednesday. I get back in Tuesday night. There you go. So we'll have video back on Wednesday's episode. All right, guys. It's been fun. Let's get the hell out of here. Bye.

Bye. Bye. Bye.