Circling Back - Exposing Dillon & Vice Headlines Returns

Episode Date: April 3, 2019

Dillon gets exposed (again) before talking about his brand new car getting rear-ended just hours after buying it, 'Frat Dave' makes an appearance, Allbirds shoes, and we bring back 'Real or Fake?' Vice Headlines. Support us on Patreon and receive episodes every Friday for just $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (8:38) Introducing Frat Dave (15:20) EXPOSE HIM (41:30) Vice Headlines Returns (58:02) This Weekend In Fun Earlybird CBD: www.earlybirdcbd.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 20% off) MyBookie: www.mybookie.ag (STEAM for 50% bonus) Postmates: CIRCLING for $100 in delivery credits Twitter: www.twitter.com/circlingbackpod Instagram: www.instagram.com/circlingbackpod Visit: www.circlingbackpodcast.com --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast it's wednesday my name is Will DeFries to my right, Dave Ruff. Apologies in advance. I'm back on that gas. What? Like you're gassy? Nitro? I'm back on that gas. No, it's not nitro. How about you just tell us what it is, Dave? It's just a proprietary blend of smoothie and coffee. Wow. I thought by gas you meant it's nitro. No, no,ro no no well the combination is just like just creating some like next level shit damn think about it man it's proprietary well i'll tell you it's just coffee a brand new protein powder i'm trying what's it called because you

apparently quit spawn because uh quest is no longer got discontinued by heb which is a major bummer quest protein powder it's very it's a very good protein powder. How is Jack Hammer handling this news? Actually, we texted about this. Oh, my God. We actually did text about this. But, yeah, just that, some coffee. Picnic Coffee Creamer.

Shout out to Austin. We support local. I only support local cream. Why are you laughing at that? I'm just saying. I'm actually low-key. I actually just finished a locally roasted cup of coffee myself. Really?

Yeah. That's tight. It's called Farrah. I don't know if it's the Farrah Abraham that lives in Austin. That is so fucking smug. Yeah, it's called Farrah. Oh, you mean the backdoor teen mom? Sally tentatively accepted a job offer or something,

and they sent us a gift basket, and it was just a bunch of candy bars and some coffee. So I've just been sipping that loud. She owns a fro-yo shop in Lakeway. Well, let's just be clear here. We were talking about she's the backdoor teen mom. Yeah, she's Farrah Abraham. Yeah, that's her name.

Did you match with her on Bumble or anything? No, stop it, man. But I have seen her at her frozen yogurt shop. It was by my old house. She would go there. I feel bad. I don't want to reduce her. She's a business lady.

But that is how I know of her. What are the porn awards show? The AVN, is that what it's called? AVN? Don't look at me. She had a grand opening for her frozen yogurt shop in Lakeway, which is a very family community. Lakeway is a suburb of Austin.

Yes, a suburb of Austin. And she had like a stop and repeat, is that what it's called? Step and repeat. Step and called? Step and repeat. And she dressed like she was going to the AVNs. It was ridiculous. She looked like a porn star. She knows what's going to bring the Lakeway dads in. Like what are you doing? You're selling

yogurt to children here. Like stop. Man if only someone on this podcast could get a nice yogurt joke off. Yeah. Too bad we don't have one of those people to do it. It is too bad. Those jokes write themselves. That's one thing I've said on this podcast

that's haunted me after. I'm like, why did I make that joke? Dude, I was so hopped up that day. I couldn't holster it. You were on one that day. Well,

as someone who's actually spilled yogurt on his old briefcase like people it just looks terrible geez dude don't mix business and pleasure i know big guy that's the thing sometimes you have to mix it you had a briefcase well that's what i call it it was just a really shitty laptop case that was it the black one that yeah oh a brief i just threw it away briefcase is reserved for like what your dad would the one that had the locks on it and it was square and it was hard not square what do you call the other one

like a hard edge satchel it didn't have a it didn't have a thing for my shoulder though it only had the handles well that's an interesting introduction i don't know yeah we really covered all the bases there briefcase yogurt avn awards and uh proprietary austin coffee if you're if you are familiar with the avn awards like on anything other than a topical level you probably have a problem like dude there's like i think there's dudes that just go to him you're too deep in the game man imagine your wife being like hey what are you doing this weekend it's like i'm going to ve'm going to Vegas with the boys for the AVNs. That's crazy.

Is that why Klein keeps hitting us up to go to Vegas? Yeah. Do we need to look up when like... It's the people who comment on porn videos. We don't need your commentary. I think there's a subreddit called like porn comments and it's just people like... That should be an Instagram feed. It really should.

I'm sure there is one. It's so outrageous. Yeah. Some of them are a little bit disturbing. Probably most of them, actually. And just to be clear, I see these comments on Twitter. I'm not just going to porn sites and reading them. You literally screenshotted one this morning and sent it to me.

I know. It's hard to screenshot with one hand, but I did it. Telling my pet. Come on. That's inappropriate. It's a little inappropriate. Hey, let's get some housekeeping out of the way. Hey.

I was chilling yesterday, and I opened up iTunes, and I saw that we haven't gotten a review since March 30th. I know that was like three to four days ago, but I want more. Like, we should be getting some every single day. We should be getting like 100 a day.

The reviews we've gotten are heat. Absolute heat. We should read some. And thank you for that, people. Remember we used to read them? We should do some soon. We can go through some. Remember we did that video on the old podcast?

Yeah. That was fun. Did we even release that? We had Randy in the video. Yeah. I forgot about that. Did we release it? Yeah.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah. So, yeah. go leave a review. Also, if you joined our group to do the Dell Match Play Bracket Challenge. Who won that group? Dave Ruff won that group. Will you just explain what happened?

I won the group. My bracket wasn't properly named, so I was just bracket with like a number, like a 12-inch number. Bracket number 755-246-83 or whatever something like that i didn't realize that was me until later on in the day we even had a full conversation about that i even i put out a like specific call to action for the person with that bracket on this podcast asking it's that boy uh yeah so if you were second third or fourth one of y'all has already claimed your prize second place has already been claimed so third and fourth you've got some row back uh sorry promo codes so because you finished first two three and four actually one two three yeah yeah sorry i'm not gonna claim the prize i think

it's just right the person who won second place the second place prize correct so third place technically has already claimed their prize oh my bad so second place so the first prize the 175 i think that goes to the second place winner correct and then the fourth place winner you're really the third place winner there you go those two people have not claimed their prizes yet so if you haven't claimed it and you want it we have a code waiting for you dm our twitter account at circling back pod i'd much prefer that because we actually get notifications for that, whereas Instagram, our DMs,

are just a fucking mess. But yeah, get your rollback gear. It's not that hard. And finally, our friends over at Early Bird CBD. How about these guys? I'm just a big fan. Love what they're doing.

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go to earlybirdcbd.com. If you're looking for the URL, just go to the description of this episode, mash that click button, profit. You know who's here today with us in the stew?

It's Fratty Dillon. What? Dillon's rocking that Ralph Lauren polo. I love this shirt, by the way. No, it's a great shirt. It's an old school. It's a great color. It's an old school polo.

Knit. You got some Polo Andrew shorts on, too? It's light blue. No, I don't. Stop it, David. Some Sperry tops? It's light blue with a yellow horse. Are you wearing chubbies right now?

And I like to pull this out a couple times a year, and it's a great shirt. Any specific reason? No. Okay. We're going to the bank after this. I want to look like not a homeless person.

It's time, man. Going to the bank. You're going with me? Yeah, dude. You got to go check on your trust fund, bro. No. No. Just some business matters.

Is your dad hooking you up, making you a member of the LLC, bro? No, dude. You know his dad's a concert, like, offshore. Oh, dude. Just some business matters. Is your dad hooking you up, making you a member of the LLC, bro? No, dude. You know his dad's a concert officer offshore. Oh, dude. Are we done? Come on, bro. He's just so ridiculous. Dude, are you going to come by the house later?

I think we're going to grill. We got a green egg. No, I probably won't because I'm a grown man now. I don't go to fraternity houses. Dude, he's not even going to come by the lodge. Is that how you talked in college? Oh, yeah, bro. No, my buddy, he's got a tee time at ACC.

I can see if he can get you on. It's just a polo shirt. Chill out. It's a powder blue polo shirt with a yellow horse on it. It's a dope shirt. It's one of those ones where the horse is like a foot tall. No, it's not. It's not a Justin Thomas shirt i can i share a little anecdote it's pointless yet will be humorous to

me and maybe a couple people i remember when the when ralph lauren switched to the giant horse they started you remember this it was when i was in college and they lost me there was one guy who he clearly went home for christmas break and uh got some of those and you know his parents they probably didn't know that that was nf and he came back he came back and like you know he walked up to the house wearing this polo with the horse you could see the horse before you could recognize him like i legit thought there was a polo player coming to the house oh wow i was like who is this that's weird sam mar Weird? Sam Marcus. Who is this? And he just got flamed into oblivion.

Yeah. Did you have to get the chalk out to mark his body on the front of the frat house? They had to get his dental records to recognize him, like to identify. Because he just got flamed. We talked about, I think it was on a Patreon episode, we talked about our worst fashion choices. I never dipped into the large polo horse. Thank God I never did either. Polo does make some really nice fitting shirts.

This is not Spawn, by the way. Have you ever worn any of their long-sleeve polos? Yes, I have one. They are comfortable. I have two. Yeah, I had a couple, but I got cigarette burns in them. Oh. So how do you like your shirt, Dylan? I love that. I'm still going to keep wearing this shirt.

Dude, you're looking fresh in those Allbirds, too. I don't wear... The Allbirds thing's got to stop. Have we talked about the Allbirds thing on the podcast yet? Nothing to talk about. It's just Dave's new bit is to convince people that I wear Allbirds. You do wear Allbirds, dude. I do not.

I don't own a pair of Allbirds. They're the cheapest looking sneakers I've ever seen. Dude, they Allbirds. I do not. I don't own a pair of Allbirds. They're the cheapest looking sneakers I've ever seen. Dude, they're trash. No offense if you own them. They've taken over Silicon Valley. I'm sure a lot of people listening own them and I'm sorry,

but they're a bad shoe. So my friend Taylor, his dad got in early with Allbirds. He was like a friends and family round investor. And let's just say he hit it pretty fucking big. I'm already sick of Frat Dave. Frat Dave sucks. Frat Dave's trash. Yeah, I got to get out of here big. I'm already sick of Frat Dave. Frat Dave sucks. Frat Dave's trash.

Yeah, I got to get out of here anyway. I'm on the Allbirds site. Supposed to do brunch with Tanner. I'm on the Allbirds site right now. And it's like they took the Nike Roche runs and were like, hey, let's make these worse and then sell them for more. Yeah. Okay.

These are so stupid looking looking we didn't have this on the run sheet no but like i remember when i first saw some i was like oh those are nice what are those and someone told me and i was like maybe i'm gonna get these and then i like snapped out of it and i was like well the first time you see them in person you're like oh fuck they're really ugly i'll be honest i was unfamiliar until i saw Dylan at ACC. Dave, stop it. I don't understand why these... They've just marketed themselves to the dudes that wear Patagonia vests over their

button downs. So me? Yeah. But actually us? That's the Dave look. Yeah, it seems like we should be wearing these. I'm not kidding, man. I'm getting some, no cap. On God oh i'm getting i'm i'm not kidding man i'm getting some no cap on god i'm getting some no cap i might already have what is no cap mean it means i'm not kidding what does on god mean that's just like means like seriously i swear to god i couldn't be more

serious but what if you say it with the uh question inflection at the end of it on god on god that means like are you kidding? Okay. Like you put that on God, son? On God? I do like saying it. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure people really love us saying it. Yeah. Well, part of my starter kit was just appropriating every culture.

At least you appropriate every culture. Yeah. I feel like that's just being worldly. Yeah, like country will? That's appropriating. You just did something that I just being worldly. Yeah, like country will? That's appropriating. You just did something that I did last week. What? The word country.

You stopped yourself, and you only said the first part, which is unfortunate. Yeah. I did that last week. That was an accident. Yeah. Hey, Dylan, I'm just looking on the site right now. Have you looked at the tree toppers? They're the...

As a matter of fact, well, I've never been on that website, so no. They're the high top Allbirds. Oh, really? Those are super nice. Dude, you should get some. Yeah. The shoes that need to come back are Simple. Simple. Don't you know what those are? Simple was not

technically a skating shoe, but it was like the casual loafer of the skating community. Yeah, it was the driving loafer of the skating community. Yeah, it was the driving loafer of the skating. Yeah, even though you were 12. Yeah. It was what you wore when your mom was driving you to Eisenberg Skate Park. You'll know what these are when I say this, Dylan,

because I know you're a fan. They're the shoes that Larry David wears. Okay. I'll fuck with that. I think they went out of business, and it's shocking that Duda hasn't started wearing a pair yet. He might surprise us

that's true what are we doing today i don't know i'm just i'm just in awe at the fact that these fucking high top all birds are 115 dollars void of unnecessary detail the tree toppers are freshly simple evolution of the classic high top perfect for cruising beneath the skyline i'm about to man i'm about to silence y'all haters when i get up here i cannot wait you don't want to flex that hard are you gonna silence the haters dave i'm gonna silence you actually no me and you are gonna be boys oh bitch okay are you are you gonna do fred dave again no oh fred day's retired hey we I think we need to do something. I don't want to do it. I feel bad doing it.

But unfortunately, it's an unnecessary part of today's podcast. And what's about to happen is that we're about to expose him! Expose him! Expose him! Dylan, you're going to get exposed. Oh, really? Sh really shocking it's me again no this is this is not a reach

this is alright this happened organically no lie no cap no like this was the most this was the most blatant

expose him since I caught you texting and driving can I tweet the photo it's only your front it's your it's the dealership license plate so it's not like uh

I'd rather you not. Man, it's so funny. It's so funny. Dave, explain what happened. You can if you want. Well, okay. So Dylan tweeted this yesterday. Dylan got a new car yesterday.

Yeah. It's clean. It's parked out there right now. New whip? Who dis? It's the nicest car I've ever owned. I'm really excited for it. It's very nice.

It's very... Does it have TVs in the headrest? Uh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And excited for it. It's very nice. Does it have TVs in the headrest? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And one from the ceiling just to flex. No, there are no TVs in it, but it's a very nice vehicle. I'm so excited about it.

Screens falling like asteroids. Dude, you buy new cars like I buy fucking groceries. The other day when we were in a parking lot together, you were like, yeah, I'm thinking about getting a new car. And then two days later, you're like, yeah, I just scooped a new whip. Once I start thinking about it, Jay Leno over here. I can't get it out of my head

until I actually do it. It's a real problem. I've been saying that I'm going to get a new car for like two years now, and I feel like I'm still moving too fast. Shouts to you, though. I'm jealous. Sneaky shouts to Micah on his new whip.

I saw it yesterday. Yeah. Yeah, I saw him pushing that thing. He was... So wait, so you got a new car yesterday So you got a new car yesterday. I got a new car yesterday. You did this.

It was out of the blue. You text us like, by the way, guys, new vehicle. We're like, yeah, that's great. My last car I had for three years. It's not like I get one every year or anything. Dylan and I, we don't work out together, but our schedules are pretty much synced up. They overlap at the gym. Usually this is how it happens.

I pull into the gym parking lot and i see his vehicle oh my god dylan's been here for a while parking about the same spot every day yeah uh well i turned in yesterday and immediately i'm turning in i thought i was like oh yeah i wonder if dylan's here i'll have to look for his new car and as i'm driving in the parking lot which is a giant parking lot, by the way. Yeah. See this car? Kind of parked off by itself. About six empty spaces between it and the closest vehicle.

And it's the furthest back row you can get. It's literally in the back corner of the parking lot. I parked it like I'm driving a Ferrari. I get that. And also, it's backed into the spot it's backed in yeah i want to get a look at the front end on my way out that's why i back that was my thinking backing to this point i hadn't seen the car i knew what it was and i just go this fucking guy yeah this guy look um getting a door ding day one of owning a vehicle would have been just a real kick to the dick, and I didn't want that to happen, so I didn't want to take any chances.

More on that later. More on that later. So I... Yeah, that was my thinking. Like, I got this car. I'm really... I'm proud of it. Kind of treated myself.

It's nice. Okay, man, you're flexing on everybody right now. Just drove it off the lot. Why don't you tell people what it is? It's a 4Runner. 2019 4Runner. I thought it was a Kia Optima. No, it's a 4Runner.

Dude, you should have got the Land Cruiser. Nah. You're not fried enough for that. Toyota makes a great vehicle. They do. I'm a Toyota boy. This thing drives like a truck, man. And I believe they have their manufacturing plant over here,

so it's like you're contributing to America. I think the way that it breaks down is that if you did the percentage of parts made in America, Toyota actually, at one point, I'm not sure if this is still true, but Toyota would check out as the most American-made car. We'll have to Snopes that. So I take a photo. Snopes doesn't get enough love. No.

Or PolitiFact, whatever it is. I take a photo. Iopes doesn't get enough love. No. Or PolitiFact, whatever it is. I take a photo. I send it to the group. I'm like, what the hell, man? Yeah. And Dylan. It's a really, it's a pompous, the way I parked it was pretty pompous, and I understand that. Are you going to be a back-end guy henceforth?

I'm not a back-end guy, no. Okay, good. Occasionally I will. This time I wanted to look at the car from the front end on my way out. That's literally why I did it. Because I just get a good look at the new car. I did a fact check. You ready for this?

I'd love to know. Cars.com ranked the Camry. You push a Camry, correct? I don't really discuss what I drive publicly. Okay. It's the number one on its list of the most American-made vehicles. It's American-made index factors the percentage of domestic parts content in a vehicle, where it's built, and how many are sold. The Camry is built at a Toyota factory in Georgetown, Kentucky, which employs more than 7,500 people.

So I assume a 4Runner is also mostly made domestically. So I can't say I'm pushing a 4Runner because it's made over here? I mean, you are. Yeah, I think it classifies as a 4Runner. Okay, I'm pushing a foreign because it's made over here. I mean, you are. Yeah, I think it classifies as a foreign. Okay, I'm pushing a foreign whip. Yeah. The number two car, this is awesome. I should clarify, this is from a Forbes article.

I don't know how old the article is, but the number two car is the Toyota Sienna. Dude. Toyota. Great. Man, squad's rolling up in that me no speak English. That's a forum baby so yeah i parked it like an asshole and but i just didn't want to take a chance to get a ding well i don't know how the backing into the spot really has anything to do with getting the ding that but yeah you put

the gym on notice yeah i mean you really did Did you get a cover for it for your apartment? No. Oh, I'm getting a covered parking spot. Just to protect it? Yeah, just protect it from the elements a little bit. So when you backed into the spot yesterday and you parked in the deep corner of the parking lot, you were really just trying to protect it from getting dings on your car, maybe scratch on the bumper, stuff like that. Yeah, I didn't want anyone to hit my vehicle. Let's put a buffer here. That I'd owned at that point for, I don't know, five hours.

Let's put a buffer here so we end expose him. You've been exposed. And now we're going to enter Dylan's world. What's going on in Dorn's world? Because you're a heli... This is like you're an anti-vaxxer. You were anti-getting dinged, and then all of a sudden... He's an anti-dinger.

The universe is out to get me via vehicle. anti-vaxxer you were anti getting dinged and then all of a sudden it's like he's an anti-dinger the universe is out to get me via vehicle as we all know i almost lost my life in a luby's a couple weeks ago this is all like terrible karma for somebody who literally saved someone's life one thing we didn't talk about i saved someone's life from a car i know you're a luby's guy but would that have been the worst restaurant to die in to go down in you're doing i died in a luby's and it would have been like like people wouldn't have talked about Dylan they would have been like

it's so sad that that child died and Dylan would have gotten totally forgotten oh yeah well they would have yeah they would have been like well man that's sad

Dylan was good on the podcast what's he doing in Lubies low key you and I would benefit like we would have benefited greatly from Dylan's death oh yeah we would have had

a public mourning period we would have retained all of our sponsors and then Dave and I are splitting everything yeah you could chop it up chop it up also a hundred percent our listens would go up so far if you died not because like not because people don't like you but just because we'd get a lot of notoriety well guys i'm sorry i let you down by surviving my my car we would just replace you though though. So let me just tell you what happened to kids. Whoa.

What happened? Okay. You tweeted this out on Twitter. Okay. Yes. So yesterday evening. You guys on Twitter? Sorry. Yeah, you guys on Twitter?

Yesterday evening, the homie and I were leaving. We were running a little quick errand. Where to? Where'd y'all go? Grab a bite to eat. Where'd you eat dinner? CC's, obviously. Dude, I was going to say CC's.

Where was it? Tell us. Chuck E. Cheese. Phil's Ice House. Oh, okay. You get that ice cream? Pick up some beers? I was walking distance.

I could have hollered. You can get a beer. Anyway, we're leaving. I'm at a... We're in the car. I'm at a stoplight. And I was rear-ended in the car that I had owned at that point for about seven hours.

My brand-new vehicle has 200 miles on it. Got rear-ended day one of ownership. I was just so bent out of shape about it. But I get out. I notice that it's very minor, to be fair. Very minor. I get out. I notice that there's some damage.

And I was like, all right, man, just follow me to the park line up here so we can discuss, you know, all that. Did y'all do the immediate pull over? Yeah. Or did you have to do like the look out the window and point? I got, I put it in park at the stoplight. That's smart. I walked around the back. He got out too and I said, just follow me

over here. He goes, okay. Did you square up? Yeah, did you and the homie play good cop back? No, I'm not one of those guys. I'm not. i'm not no i mean it was an accident you didn't get in crouch position and throw the hands up he didn't ruin me on purpose so we get over there he gets out and the first thing i ask of course is do you have insurance he doesn't speak much english and he but he he knew what i was asking him and he said no he opens up opens up his wallet. He's like, I have $200. You can have it. I was like, oh, God.

A, this is probably going to cost more than $200 to fix. B, I felt like because he was uninsured, the smart thing to do was to get the police involved. And I hate doing that. I think you have to to protect people. I think you have to, yeah. So I called 311. It's not an emergency,

but they immediately transfer me over to 911. Were they down? Come original, man. Were they down, though? Who's got the herb? We're not doing this. I know what 311 is. Is that what you're doing, right?

Go ahead, man. Okay. Let's be clear. What's the color of your energy at this point was it amber all right move on i'm sorry that's the last one all right so i call the police the cop shows up um i walk up to him and i say look i don't want to get this guy in trouble he doesn't have insurance and he was being nice he didn't you know he's being nice well that guy's probably all mixed up man you got you

beat me here's the thing that made me feel really shitty about the whole situation the guy got out and he he'd clearly been he's a painter that's his profession he had clearly been painting all day and he looked like he just had a long day at work just trying to make an honest buck out there and then he taps my bumper. Sucks, but I just felt bad for the dude. I really did. But he didn't have insurance, and this has to be remedied in some way. The cop shows up.

I said, I don't want this guy to get in trouble. He doesn't have insurance. He goes, okay, cool. That's your call. I don't have to write him a ticket for not being insured. I said, okay, please don't. He said, okay. So basically my role here is just to keep the

peace with you guys while you sort out any kind of deal you want to work out it was like oh god okay um so you probably told yourself you're like i'll be here a while and you know this this could all turn out to be just one big beautiful disaster shut the fuck up dude i seriously stop why can't you stop were you over there googling lyrics yes you are too i heard you typing do it off the dome respect the god there's so many good songs that you could apply to the trash i'm sorry i couldn't do you right um all right believe it or not i i got i got a quote um about 30 minutes ago i got a text from someone um it's gonna be more than 200 bucks. But the guy gave me the 200 bucks,

which I still feel bad accepting because, like I said, the guy just put in a hard day's work, it looked like. But at the same time, I have to get my car fixed, you know? And he doesn't have insurance, and I don't think I have the... But the guy wasn't...

So the fear here, and not to take it down a political road, but like no ICE agent showed up, right? No, no. Okay, so he said... Because when you told me the story, I got really fucking scared for him. And he said, like, I'm from Mexico. I was like, oh, fuck.

This guy is probably... I hope that doesn't sound too insensitive, but I got the feeling he was illegal. We say undocumented in this household. Undocumented. Okay. Sorry. I'm just messing with you. But yeah.

And so I just felt really terrible about the whole situation. And getting the cops involved, I understood the risk of him getting in a lot of trouble. I think Austin... A, not being insured, because it's illegal not to be insured. And B, because, you know, worst case, he gets deported. APD is... And Austin is... I don't know what the term is. It's not like a sanctuary city. not to be insured, and B, because, you know, worst case, he gets deported. APD is, and Austin is, I don't know what the term is. It's not like a sanctuary city.

Maybe it is. I don't know. But I think they're not the type to do that. Yeah, and the cop, luckily, he was just cool. He was like, yeah, just work it out between you two. It's a civil issue. I'm just going to keep the peace while you do it. I was like, all right. And I walked up to the guy.

I was like, all right, man, If you just want to give me that money, I'll be on my way. And he was extremely thankful that that's all I asked for, which I felt okay about, but I still felt shitty about the situation. But I got to get my car fixed, man. It's brand new.

Why are you laughing? Do you have another lyric you want to lay on us? No, I don't. Yeah, you do. No. I have a really dumb joke. You're laughing at my miss for now. I have a really dumb joke that I'm not going to say.

What is it? I was going to ask if you gave your piece back after you kept it. Go ahead. Never mind. I told you I wasn't going to do it. I was just laughing to myself. That's just bad. No, I understand, dude.

You had a new vehicle. Not a lot of people have that vehicle. You had it come original. It's just like you had to do it to them. Yeah. And by them, I mean just everyone. Yeah, I had to do it to them yeah and by them yeah i had to do it to them but here i am i got i got to come out of pocket for a an accident that was definitely not my fault on a vehicle that i owned for you know less than a day and it just it just sucks do we have his information i took a picture of his license plate. Did he have an ID? I don't believe he had an ID.

Dude, I kind of... I might just be on that gas, but I'd like to find him and do a little crowdsource for him. I don't know. I'm just assuming he doesn't have a lot of money. You know what I mean? He had $200 cash, and they were the crispest $100 bills I've ever seen.

Do some crispy boys? Some crispies. Crispy Benjamins. I feel shitty about the whole situation. It's an unfortunate... There's no way to look at the situation and not think it's unfortunate. Would y'all have accepted the cash? I think you kind of have to, right?

I don't know. I'm going to have to come out of pocket and pay for this. I really am. Insurance isn't going to... My insurance, the deductible, it's not going to be worth it if I... You know? It's just shit. Yeah, there's like a lot of assumption you know what i mean like in that in the situation you were in people get screwed like this all the time like not not just with you know people who don't have insurance but stuff happens there's some people who will call the police no matter

if the person has insurance and even if the most minor thing just to make sure i was thankful there's a report i was thankful the guy pulled over. Yeah? He didn't have to, because he followed me into the lot. He didn't just hightail that out of there. I would have told you to fuck off. And so I'm thankful the guy did that,

so that was cool of him. He was nice. Like I said, we didn't talk much, so he didn't speak much English. No, that's just an unfortunate series of events. I'm lucky. What is up with you and cars? Dude, think if he just totally just caved in my back end

and like just rammed me. Yeah. That sounds... I have thought about that. Unnecessarily sexual. Yeah, would you still have come out of pocket? Think about if he just

caved my bumper in. Come on. How would I have handled that situation? I just got to use my own insurance, I guess, to get it fixed. Yeah. And he would have been

in more trouble, I guess. I don't know how that worked, but... Ugh. and he would have been in more trouble I guess I don't know how that worked what a kick to the dick that was there's some sadly people out there who would have been so mad about it and they would have raised a stink and tried to get this guy in trouble absolutely

I know people like that and those people suck you stink baby I kept those people suck you stink baby I kept a cool head to all those people you stink it's our new segment you know in a situation like this you have to trust your instinct

and just let go of regrets bet on yourself now are you doing more 311 lyrics? you clearly you clearly know way more more 311 lyrics you clearly what yeah you were you clearly know way more about 311 than me you know me skate 311 was the soundtrack to every skate park from like 1994 to 1998 when i was 14 so a little too late really i went to a 311 concert and when they played who's got the herb uh My friend and I

Clearly didn't We weren't blazing up You guys were like Seriously though Who has it? Everybody around us Was smoking weed And we were just like

Are we getting contact high Right now? Like we're crazy Damn I think we both Acted like we were Getting contact high But we actually didn't

You opened your third eye Do people actually Get contact high? Or is that just a thing? I think I did In ninth grade Rage Against the Machine As soon as they started playing the intro for know your enemy i swear i have this vivid memory of just this puff of smoke just hitting me in the face and me being like i think i'm high i feel like that was just something i said to sound cool and like in reality

i was just like clearly not high. Can you get contact high off a Juul, Dylan? You don't get high from Juuls, Dave. It's just nicotine. Can you get a contact nicotine buzz? I don't think so. Unless someone like, you know, blows it down your throat. You ever gotten a charge? We used to call that a charge.

A dude's like dipping and he like spits in his girlfriend's mouth. And then she dips. Baby bird that Juul. What's wrong with you? Did y'all call it a charge dipping and he like spits in his girlfriend's mouth and then she dips baby bird that jewel what's wrong with you we called did y'all call it a charge or shotgun shotgun you now have my permission to to share the the photograph that you took of my car since what changed i'd said what kind it was i just oh dylan doesn't want people snapping photos of him texting and driving in this thing don't text and drive with this all right yes sir you were at a stop sign the other day behind me and i and you were photos of him texting and driving in this thing. Don't text and drive with this. Alright. Yes, sir.

You were at a stop sign the other day behind me and you were texting. This photo's great. At a stop sign? It's still... Dave's about to fire it right now. Get that tweet off right now. I guess it's not real time, so I can wait. I don't want to be distracted.

People are sitting there like, Release the photo! You should have tweeted it out and sync with it. Yeah, I've got nothing to add. Yesterday was still a good day, though. I feel bad for you, man. Yeah, thank you. I'm still really excited about the car.

You don't see it unless you're looking for it, the little blemish on the bumper there. So it's not a huge deal, but I do have to pay to get it fixed. I have some leather shoe paint if you want to just touch it up with that. It is white. There's a little structural blemish that needs to be... I can take a look at it. As a noted car guy on the podcast, I can look at it for you.

I can give you a quote. My favorite response... Get dooted down here with his car heart. Yeah, that was my favorite response to my tweet where some guy said, where are your car hearts or the body shops? They don't take advantage of you. That was the only one I retweeted, by the way. Good on you, sir.

So everybody else who responded, yours weren't that good. Well, his was funny. Duda's totally correct about doing that. I went to Pep Boys the other day and I was dressed like complete scum. Explain what Duda did.

Duda put on Carhartt and a Carhartt. Bright orange beanie. And a bright orange Carhartt beanie, which that was his big mistake. It looked way too new. He needed to have something on it. And he went to the car place so he wouldn't get run out of there by the car people.

Because only real men wear Carhartt, obviously. Guys who know about cars. That's like me, man. I only wear my Jordans to the gym. Exactly. When I'm going to the court, because that way I can ball. Oh, this guy's got the hoop. I went to Pep Boys the other day to get a new car battery and an oil change,

and I was like, shit, I'm dressed like shit. They're going to show me. I walked in like I owned the place, and the guy was talking to me man to man. I respected it. I'm a Pep Boy now. You're not a Pep Boy. I'm a Pep Boy. Don't say that. You're more of man to man i respected it i'm a pet boy now you're not a pet boy i'm a pet boy don't say that you're more of an o'reilly i'm a pet boy it may stop did you tell him how much designer mineral water you'd pour it on the battery to fix it yeah i was like yeah i poured like a whole gallon of topo chico on there it does work it it's it's total trash but we don't really drink that much sparkling water in our household,

so I had to use the Topos. You had to do it to them. I'm surprised you haven't bought a Penguin yet. Do you know what a Penguin is? No. It makes your own soda water. And you can infuse it. Did you say Penguin?

Penguin. It's an E. people say penguin i say penguin i'm saying it with an e you're saying it with an i penguin penguin penguin penguin that you're sounds like you're saying with an i you're saying with an a is what it is my point here penguin peng penguin peng i say it how you say it. Yeah. Dylan's saying it incorrectly. I think we can compare. I think penguin is the proper... Nobody says the Pittsburgh Penguins are in town.

Nobody says the Pittsburgh Penguins. Depends. Maybe they do. I don't know. Penguins. Pittsburgh Penguins. Stop. Is it jif?

Or is it jif? It's like when you type a word and you look at it. I do this a lot in Photoshop if I'm making something. Like if I'm just doing something with text. And I'll type a word and then look at it like i do this a lot in photoshop if i'm making something like if i'm just doing something with text and i'll type a word and then all of a sudden i convince myself that that word is absolutely incorrect i did it with the word austin the other day and i was like i'm not typing this correctly and it just freaks me out you know what the one i hate is and it's a last name thing so tyler sagan of the dallas stars by the way we kicked down the door we're in the playoffs

let's fucking go winnipeg you are unnoticed maybe we don't know who it's gonna be yet i don't think speaking of people that wear car hearts you don't want to fuck with jets fans no you don't smoke you uh yeah i weirdly we have some listeners up there because i get they talk shit to me on snapchat okay it's not weird my second favorite country is canada so we have the town in texas seguin spelled the same way as tyler segan but he says it's segan and i like seguin so much more it looks like seguin it just it has a it just has a little bit more edge to it just saying that and you know that's a very limited anecdote I just provided. What's your favorite hockey name ever? John Van Beesbrook.

The Beezer? Didn't he get in trouble for something recently? Did he get me too'd? No one can be too'd. No, I think it was racist. Mine's Dino Cicerelli. Dino Cicerelli is all time. How about this? Former Stars great, Craig Ludwig.

Ludwig's a great last name. Craig's a good first name. It's strong. Shouts to intern Craig. Shouts to intern Craig. Shouts to intern Craig, who tried to link with us at Dumbass Play. Couldn't secure a ticket, however, so it didn't happen. We didn't link with any interns. I figured he would be in the clubhouse just drinking scotches and stuff.

Yeah, his ticket plug let him down on Friday. Damn. You know what's coming up? The Final Four, baby! The TV! It's going to be awesome! Texas Tech and Auburn are in the Final Four. It doesn't make sense.

Weird. I'm pulling for an upset in that Virginia game. I kind of like Bruce Pearl. Does that make me trash? Yes. Yeah, it does. What is his... Is he just scum?

Like, just conniving? Didn't he say some shitty stuff about Pat Summitt? Oh, fuck. Did he really? I can't like anybody. I feel like he did. I could be totally wrong, and I bet there's a bunch of Vols fans out there that are going to come at me for that.

I feel like he said something weird. She has Alzheimer's. How can you come at her? She's a saint. Did he at least come original? Oh, my God. To be clear, this is a separate segment, not part of the ad read we're about to do. Correct.

I do kind of like tossing it around about some March Madness stuff. Are you pulling for Tech? Oh, you are pulling for Tech because Michigan State. No, no, I'll pull for Michigan State. Really? I've always said. I've always said. Because Maddie McQuaid's got that flag boy?

Michigan is the team that I will cheer for when it comes to most things. Sure. But if Michigan's not in it, I will 100% cheer for Michigan State. I would rather have Michigan State win. That being said, if Texas Tech was playing anybody else, I would 100% be pulling for Texas Tech. I am definitely cheering against Texas Tech because I am incapable of being happy for other people

when their teams succeed, and I know a lot of Tech fans. And I just don't want them to be happy about this. I have to say,'ve they've got this is they've got a chance they will never I will say they don't they'll never have a better chance although Virginia man Virginia some dogs too I think Michigan State's gonna beat them Virginia does nothing for me okay that's my take all right that, that was Bracket Madness with Will, Dave, Dylan. Most people out there just witnessed the best Elite Eight in history.

We got four spectacular games coming up. I mean, sorry, two spectacular games. We already saw four. Duke lost by one point. Texas Tech and Auburn made the final fourth for the first time ever. Virginia, the first one seed to lose to a 16 seed last year, pulled off a miracle against Purdue. And Michigan State and Tom Izzo are on fire.

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Again, promo code STEAM. STEAM. Let's take a quick break. You trying to get a tink? And I want to get this tweet off, too. Steam. Let's take a quick break. Are you trying to get a tink? And I want to get this tweet off too. Okay. All right. Nice little Tinky break. Oh, shit, sorry.

Squad got their Tinkys off. Only one. Just one. Only one. Just the main Tinky boy. Oh, we'd like to make a major announcement. Vice Headlines is back, baby. Whoa, are you serious?

Yeah. You're going to do them? Yeah, it's mine now. What's Vice Headlines? I'm a new listener for the people out there who didn't listen to touching base and are unaware of vice vice is a uh online publication that has some absolutely ridiculous headlines to the point where you wonder if they're trolling us or you just wonder if they're like these things are actually true we did this on the old pod. What Dave has done for two years

is he's taken these headlines and he's mixed them in with some fake headlines that he's made up that could be believable based on the shit that Vice shoves down our throats on Twitter every single day. So Dave is going to go through now and Dylan and I will make the decision,

real or fake. What a fun game. I missed it. I do think I finished out Touching Base as the all-time winner. I believe I did. It's probably not me. I might have gone a little hard on these.

Why? I'm just saying that there's many of them. I think I actually unfollowed Vice a while ago. I did too. And it wasn't because I didn't find it entertaining, but I think I got really tired of their social media team trying too hard with their tweets. They did a lot of the cross-pollination.

Like one account would respond to the other and they would have like a thread going. They were doing that for a while and it bugged me and it probably shouldn't have. But they did like they would tweet out columns that like maybe warranted a little more seriousness in their tweet. And they would just tweet it out with all lowercase LOL as their lead-in. And then it would just be the preview of the column. And I was like, really? That being said, if they'd like to acquire us

for a hefty, hefty sum of money. Holler at your boys. Vice headlines. Guys, is this real or fake? Real. Opium-addicted parrots keep raiding poppy farms in India. I'm going to say real. I like that.

That's real. It's got to be. That's so funny. It's real. I love that. Dude, it's getting lit in there. I mean, it is getting lit in there. I feel like I know about that stuff because

i like watch narcos and like ozark and stuff yeah that's wait okay like i feel like more in tune with like the poppy situation i want to see these parrots though are they just tweaking yeah tweaking tweaking on that yeah pop and molly i'm sweating A little different from Molly Good job guys It's pretty good What? Let's go Let's go Crystal meth

Did you guys know That there's a green parrot Population in Austin? Yes I did know that It's so weird A green parrot? Yes I used to go to the green parrot

In San Marcos See you got to it Before we could make the joke That was good No but they have wild parrots That live in Austin That are green and they're like they fly high above i don't believe you they do i swear i can't make this up excuse me guys uh

this vice headline here okay sorry real or fake crystal meth is the hottest gift in north korea this lunar new year this has to be fake i know that i know that north korea has a legit um uh crystal meth deal like people do it there but it's it's like accepted as it's it's not frowned upon like it is here i don't think they understand the dangers of it well per this it's the hottest gift in north korea this lunar new year i think it's real. Will, you dumbass. It's real? It's real. Yeah, they do a lot of crystal meth in North Korea. Weirdly.

You know way more about North Korea than I do. You know I'm a big North Korean guy. Yeah, like you know way more. It's the hottest gift. I didn't know they were allowed to give gifts there. I love North Korea. Pretty much the only thing I know about North Korea is what I've watched on the interview.

I could teach you some things. The interview was funny. Don't be so sure about it. The interview was funny. Never saw it sure about it the interview was funny never saw it really yeah yeah it's funny it was very funny to me here's another one very funny to me why bernie sanders grandfather like sex appeal is the perfect anecdote for trump that's not real that is fake all the way around give me real give me that old man sex appeal will you silly silly bitch i just didn't want to agree with that i'm batting a thousand yeah

that's fake bernie sanders grandfather like sex appeal may or may not be the perfect anecdote for trump but they didn't discuss that advice i just made that up trump has no sex appeal i'm really mad at whoever like on the subdit, whoever edited my face onto Trump playing tennis. Man, that was excellent. Dude, that was the meanest one. That's the meanest Photoshop. He's dragging a wagon. Yeah, and your boy was low-key thin when he played tennis.

I didn't have Trump on him. Well, real or fake vice headline. I persuaded a dealer to cool and deliver a beef Wellington instead of weed. Let me read that again. I persuaded a dealer to cook and deliver a beef Wellington instead of weed. Do you say cool? I said cool the first time for some reason. Part of me wants to say fake just because I think your phone auto-corrected to cool

and you read it wrong, but it's fair. I'm going to say that that is a real one no let me change it i'm saying it's a fake one i'm saying i'm going fake i don't think you have that in your brain to come up with that's real what how annoyed are you if you're the weed dealer and he's like hey can you cook me a beef wellington what is a beef wellington uh i believe it is this is some shit you should know i believe it is the beef that is covered in pastry. I'm sorry? I think it's got a pastry around it.

I don't like that. Like a flaky puff pastry. Well, you know I like meat pies. Yeah, if you like meat pies, then you would love this. A big meat pie. I was correct. Is it a breakfast item? No, no, no.

No, no. Here, I'm pulling up a photo for you guys now. This is gross. I don't like it. It essentially looks like it's covered in the same shit that like a croissant would be made out of. But it's, dude, it's really good. The last time I had it was at a rehearsal dinner. And it was phenomenal.

Oh, is that like a Monte Cristo? How they have the, I don't know. I don't see any counts here. Okay. Let's do another Vice headline. Dude, now I'm low-key fucking horned up for Beef Wellington. See if you're horned up for this.

A Buddhist monk was arrested for having chem sex parties in his temple. You can't do that in a temple, dog. What are you doing? I'm going real. Chem sex? Chem sex. What is chem doing? I'm going real. Chem sex? Chem sex. What is chem sex? Like chemical sex.

Still, what is that? Don't look at me. I didn't write this, or did I? I'm saying it's real. It's real. That is real. A Buddhist monk was arrested. Dude, you showed your hand.

Dave's out of season right now. Yeah, he did. I honestly wasn't sure. I think we might have done this one before, like back a year ago. Yeah, it sounds familiar, but... Dave lost his fastball. Dude, he showed his hand there. How these

nude models are changing the art of crypto-science as we know it. What is crypto-science? How these nude models are changing the art of crypto-science as we know it. I'm going fake. Oh, that is fake. You guys are good. Yeah, duh. I wish Klein would stop

fucking texting us because it's interfering with me looking at these on my phone. Hey, Klein, stop texting us. Alright, let's do another one. Real or fake vice headline. What you can learn from your children's behavior at pizza parties. Real.

That it just feels like a topic that they would delve into for no reason at all. Well, I'm going to tell you this, Dylan, for no reason at all. You're a dumbass. That's fake. That's funny. You probably want to read that because the homie's been acting a fool at these pizza parties at CC's. Are you going to tie in a really inappropriate joke now because it's about time?

No. Okay. It wasn't my place to disappoint him, but the other day when we were there at CC's, he was pulling, like he clearly got the water cup, the clear one, and then he went up and was like, I'm just going to get Sprite.

They'll never be able to tell. And I was like, dude, you can't do that. I'm just going to get Sprite. They'll never be able to tell. And I was like, dude, you can't do that. I'm going to grant you permission and authority to discipline him whenever you see fit, Dave. Okay, thanks. You're welcome. I believe in positive reinforcement, though. I'm not opposed to spanking every now and then if it's... I can give you this guarantee.

I'm not going to spank your child. Okay. Did you all have bad punishments as kids? My mom spanked me with a wooden spoon. Ooh. My dad would just go in on me. Like, you know. What?

Like, just yell at you? Yeah. My mom would strike me, though. My mom would wash my mouth out with soap. I think that happened to me once. Awful. You know, I don't disclose my disciplining as a youth publicly. My mom knew what she was doing because, I mean, it definitely fucking worked.

You do it once and then you tell your kid, hey. It happened to Ralphie, too. Joke was on her. I like soap. Yeah, I eat soap. Yeah, what's up? No, weirdly, my mom, to punish me once after I got in trouble at school, it's a true story.

She actually fed me soap shoes. Stop. Stop. Come on. Is this a real or fake Vice headline? The incredible story of Paseo, the gay porno starring Jesus. You can't come up with that, so I'm saying real. I'm going fake.

That's real. I wanted it to be real, but I was kind of hoping you came up with it. Oh, man. Are y'all going to watch that? No. Why? How do you spell pasillo? P-A-S-S-I-O.

Pasillo. Pasillo. Pasillo. Pasillo. Noel. Double. You said one L? P-A-S-S-I-O Maybe Pacillo Pacillo Noel Double You said one L? P-A-S-S-I-O Oh There's no L dude You're taking L's

You're taking L's in this segment You idiot Pretty sure the first time You said it Review the tape Can't spell Dylan Without two L's dumbass Pull the tape bitch

That would be the weakest Pull the tape Alright Let's do a couple more Meet the tape, bitch. That would be the weakest pull the tape. All right. Let's do a couple more. Meet the men who want to enter Egyptian tombs and do MDMA. Yes. Give me all that.

Tell me it's real. Please be real. That's the most vice headline I've ever heard. Real. Oh, thank you very much because it's fake. Damn it. I want that to happen. I would totally do Molly in a fucking Egyptian tomb. Popping Molly, you're sweating. That wouldn't make... There's other drugs you'd want to do in the tomb. I think I'd be to happen. I would totally do Molly in a fucking Egyptian tomb.

Popping Molly, you sweat? That wouldn't make... There's other drugs you'd want to do in a tomb. I think I'd be sweating more because I'm in Egypt. Yeah, because it's very hot there. It's a dry heat, though. I have said... I've been on record saying

I have no desire to go to Egypt. That dry Egyptian heat just hits different. All right, let's do... What are we doing? Let's do one more here. Okay. You know it's going to be good, but I can't even say it.

I joined an anarchist commune expecting to hate it, but coming home sucked. Fake. Real. It's real. Someone joined an anarchist commune expecting to hate it, but coming home sucked. Well, I mean, on the surface it makes sense, because I feel like if you did get deep into the anarchist commune you'd eventually be like you know what this is kind of tight how do you even how do you even find that i don't know i was on the reddit i was on reddit the other day and i was looking at something on the scientology page and it was somebody's like

hey i just talked to a scientologist and he seemed really nice is it weird if i go to the facility and just like check it out and see what it looks like? And everyone was like, dude, what are you doing? Are you kidding me? No, the guy was like, he's like, he just seemed nice. And I just want to, like, he told me I could come and look at it. It's like, dude, what do you do? No.

Will you go to one, Will, just for content? No, dude. No, no, no, no. We'll rescue you. Make sure if you go to one, you hashtag SuperSage so he can see it. You're going to have to get like a SWAT team to to get me out i will 100 get brainwashed next thing you know i'll have two cans in my fucking hands telling like secrets that aren't even secrets like actual two cans like the bird yeah that'd be tight if if they did if they did those like whatever therapy sessions with two cans

instead of two space cans what if i might be a scientologist you know what scientology needs they need uh to rebrand and like target like uh the hip-hop demo they need they need uh the rapper two cans god damn it two cans very different but you combine the bird thing yeah what does a toucan even look like? It's got the snout. Not the snout, sorry. It's got the long beak. Is it like a rainforest bird, like a parrot? I think it's more tropical.

Are we now a bird podcast? I mean, I'm anti-people owning birds, but I'm pro-birds. As everyone knows, my spirit animal is a pelican. So, yeah. I identify with the bird community. Did I miss that podcast? I did not know that. I told you guys that on this pod.

Everyone knows. Dude, I put out such pelican vibes. Are you serious? I don't know, Jim. Dude, you're more like walrus or gopher. No, no, no. Nope, nope. I'm a pelican.

I had someone designate it. I didn't come up with that on my own. I'm a Mexican gray wolf. No, you're not. It's a a smaller wolf but it's still a wolf or a dog if you will dude i was talking about the canine species okay i still i that that we'll check the tape that entire segment i still am like stirred by we're gonna check the tape i got fucking rocked I still am like stirred by we're gonna check the tape

I got fucking rocked that was Vice Headlines for those scoring at home hope you like that people really wanted FMK that was fun but with other stuff maybe we'll bring that too

but the thing is we have to have another person in the room to do it right? no I think you just I think just include yourself I think we just include ourselves if we do it without other people

okay guess we could pull that off I had a good one I have a good one in my inbox can we just do it without other people. Okay. I guess we could pull that off. I had a good one. I have a good one in my inbox. Can we just do it? Let's do one. Let's save it for Monday.

Fine. We're going to need content for Monday. No, we're not. Why? Because. Oh. We could do it with him. That's true.

Because of John Duda? Yeah. He's going to be on Monday's episode? Well, I think we're going to record it with him. Oh. That's true. Because of John Duda? Yeah. He's going to be on Monday's episode? Well, I think we're going to record Friday with him. Oh. I did. We are? Dude, did you not look at your text yesterday, Dylan? What did you...

Yeah, what... How did you miss all this? You were just too busy buying cars and shit. I had a busy day. I'm sorry. Recording Friday for a month, that's going to... Yeah, we're having the circling back party. Okay.

I can't wait, man. I think John might be the person who's going to make Yeah, we're having the circling back party. Okay. I can't wait, man. I think John might be the person who's going to make the entire rundown for that episode. That's fantastic. So get prepared to do a Crank Corner segment with John Duda. We're not doing Crank Corner.

We're doing the Crank... See, you're the Brad in this. You're the Brad in this. I don't discuss cranking. You're the Brad. I'll fill in for Brad, then. Just a Brad. I do have a question for you guys

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Dude, I might need to scoop that code this weekend. Yeah. You think? You know what time it is? Is it time for This Weekend in Fun presented by Eisenhower's on Main Street? Yes. Okay. Yeah. You think? You know what time it is? Is it time for This Weekend in Fun, presented by Eisenhower's Armani Street? Yes.

Okay. Huey Lewis and the News. Cue the music. As always. You know what I would switch that music out with instead of Huey Lewis? Lady Gaga, Just Dance. No. Yeah.

Her best song is Born This Way, and that's including the stuff from... Just Dance Goes Hard. That's including... It hard to pick just one of her songs. What about Poker Face? Her whole catalog is just fantastic. What got lost in the entire scenario with whatever that movie's called, Star is Born,

is that... The one that you didn't see, but you felt very, very comfortable shooting on. I am a low-key little monster. I didn't shit on the actual movie. I shit on the social media around the movie. I am a low-key little monster. I didn't shit on the actual movie. I shit on the social media around the movie. I am a low-key little monster. I do like Musa Gagga. Because she's fantastic.

I like it more when she's got electronics music behind her as opposed to... The most annoying thing about Dylan is every time he says a little monster thing, he leans back and he squints and looks over at me like he's doing something groundbreaking. I wait for your snarky comments. I don't have one i respect lady gaga as will does we all like her i know you're

day one thank you thank you for recognizing that don't be so proud of yourself many people like her she's a highly acclaimed artist i like that you're not the only little monster in the world. Have you even seen her in concert? No, I haven't. Is anybody in here? Oh, I did get exposed on Twitter when I said that she did her little dive bar tour. Apparently, they gave tickets to fans. Okay.

Like what? Like 10 fans at Kiss FM? Still. I shit on that, too. The dive bar... Come on. Oh, stop it. Just go play in? Like still. I shit on that too. The dive bar. Like come on. Oh stop it Will. Just go play in Arena.

Let me go see you too. I'll pay for you. You can do no wrong. I don't know. I wouldn't hitch that on that wagon. Anyway this weekend of fun. It's presented by Eisenhower's. If you're in Austin Texas no matter what you're doing.

Check out Eisenhower's. It's on Rainy Street. They've always got live music. They've got great drinks. Great service everything go check it out great people dylan start us off yes i would love to will thank you um i'm going to start on thursday because that's when the fun starts it kicks off for us we're playing golf together it doesn't really start on thursday well duda gets in town on thursday true so yes it does okay go on we're playing golf together. It doesn't really start on Thursday. Well, Duda gets in town on Thursday. True. So yes, it does. Okay.

Go on. We're playing golf Thursday. And then Duda lands about the time we're finishing golf. And then we have a little dinner planned, I believe. Probably hit a bar after that, if I had to guess, since Duda will be here and he'll probably want to do something. I would love to get some beers with the squad

if y'all are down. No, we're good. Oh, okay. Friday, I'm just gonna chill with the homie. Keep it low pro probably. What? Nothing. Saturday, Sunday I'm wide open though. I have nothing. I think I've got him Sunday.

Okay, that's fine. You're welcome to come with us. I'm anxious to see what you guys have for Saturday and Sunday because I would like to do something but I don't have anything on the books yet Duda will be here still right we've got a private event no he's coming in Thursday and leaving Friday it's not funny it's a quick trip

it's not funny it's all business it's a fast turnaround bring in one suit stupid ass alright Dave what are you doing this weekend for fun well I can't really talk about this weekend because it's a private event that Will and I have with Duda everything you said

is similar to me Thursday night we got a thing Duda's coming in a lot of fun Friday getting that pot off with Duda

right I guess Dylan's aware of that now I'll be there. Probably going to do some stuff. Going to do a little dinner that night, I imagine. I would imagine. Going to be a pretty good dinner.

Saturday, I think it's kind of a free-for-all. Up in the air. I would like to get some kind of golf course activity. On Saturday? Maybe Sunday. Yeah, I was going to say, Duda's not going to bring his sticks. Yeah, Saturday's for Duda.

Saturday's are for the Dudas, as we've known. And, you know, that's about it. You're going to see a lot of content. If you follow me on Instagram at DCRuff or on Twitter and Snap at DCarterRuff, you're going to see some content. Dude, you've got to combine your handles, my dude. It's not going to happen.

For me, it's all similar. It's all similar. Sally's coming into town. Saturday, I feel like I have something Saturday morning that I low-key thought of, but now it's just escaping me. So we'll see. Is there a soccer game maybe?

Can we get something off on Saturday? Let's do something tight. Sure, man. Who are you thinking? No. No. What's the weather doing? It's hard to say.

We're not sure. It's impossible to know. You know what they say. Well, people forecast it for us. Yeah, but if you wait 10 minutes. They tend to be pretty accurate. Can I give a sneaky unsolicited recommendation that will go down this weekend? Sure.

How about this? Is this a fight? At Augusta National, the women's amateur will be there for the first time. They're playing Augusta. So if you want to get all torqued up for the Masters, which is next week, watch this. And it'll be cool to see different kind of play. Obviously women, people who play the course differently than the pros do.

I mean, these are amateurs. They've never played it, presumably. So it's just going to be interesting. And, you know, it's a good precursor to the Masters. And I'm going to watch some of this. No lie. No gas? Augusta National, women's amateur.

That's some cool shit. Also, we've got the Valspar. If you want to watch Spieth and see if he's going to round into form. Valero. Isn't it the Valero? Yeah, it's not the Valspar. That was two weeks ago. Valero.

In San Antonio. Are we going to it? I don't think so i'm good i'm probably fine it's weird that that's the tune-up for augusta or the week before it's it's all kind of bizarre now but it is cool that speed's flying oh shit what big news for all the ladies out there. The U.S. Women's National Team will get equal pay. Lunabar will give $31,250 pay boost to each U.S. Women's National Team World Cup player to make up the bonus disparity with the men's team. How about that?

That's cool. That's pretty nuts. That's a big win. That's a good move by Luna Bar. Not to get into the legal merits of their arguments, but they deserve it. They've always been kind of the big sucker. They're the number one team in the world. Top soccer dog, yeah.

Number one on the women's team. Luna said, their statement just said, it's simply because well they deserve it can i say something about luna luna bars i respect what they're doing but their bars are trash no are you serious i'm not a luna bar guy i think they stink hold on i'm thinking of two different bars the luna bars i was thinking of lara bars yeah no luna bars just aren't great. Are you a Lara bar guy? No. I used to be a Clif bar guy in college and law school, and then I realized how much sugar they had,

and now I'm kind of a Quest bar guy. I would do Lara bars during Whole30 because the ones that we got were Whole30 approved, and they were a little high in sugar, but that being said, they were a nice little dessert if you treated yourself. The pecan pie goes hort so you say pecan huh what do you want me to say pecan i say pecan pecan how did i say it pecan pecan pie you won't say like peacock but pecan pie you said pecan pecan pie no i don't think i did what'd you say pecan pie no you didn? No, I don't think I did. What'd you say? Pecan pie? No, you didn't.

Does Cliff Bar actually own Luna? It appears that they might. No one really knows, Dave. Either way, not important. Shout out to Luna. Very noble thing. I'll give you all a second chance now. That's big of you.

I'm just saying the first go around. Huh. Not great. That's our new segment. Huh. Hey, wasn't that great? New segment is just nah not great what time are we going

to this thing Thursday night she's asking I don't know they're gonna have frozen Aperol this seems like this seems like a

post podcast frozen Aperol we don't need to do logistics on the pod literally no one wants to listen to that let's end this

a frozen Aperol spritz oh that sounds amazing let's get out of here oh yeah Dylan you're ruining this we got an appointment to go to catch you guys later good pod see y'all later

love you guys Outro Music