Circling Back - Fist-Fighting Animals & Real or Fake Peloton Motivational Quotes

Episode Date: May 17, 2021

An absolutely loaded Monday episode — Recapping everyone's weekends, a breakdown of the snacks Dave bought for the office, the ranking of animals you could win a fist fight against, a new segment titled "Real or Fake Peloton Motivational Quotes," and a 28-year-old woman who snuck into a high school to promote her Instagram. Contribute to our campaign to benefit the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society: pages.lls.org/mwoy/ctx/austin21/wmedia Support us on Patreon and receive weekly episodes for as low $5 per month: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on YouTube: www.youtube.com/washedmedia Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (18:11) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (28:40) Office Snack Breakdown (35:15) Fist-Fighting Animal Ranking (48:37) Real or Fake Peloton Motivational Quotes (1:09:00) How Do You Do, Fellow Kids? (1:15:20) Brett’s Breaking News Support This Episode’s Sponsors Liquid IV: www.liquidiv.com (CIRCLINGBACK for 25% off) Headspace: www.headspace.com/circling (FREE one-month trial) Quip: www.getquip.com/circlingback (FREE plastic dispenser with any refill plan) --- Send in a voice message: https://podcasters.spotify.com/pod/show/circling-back/message Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast presented by busy hard seltzer the only hard seltzer with vitamin c and superfruit acerola. My name is Will DeFreeze. To my right, David Ruff. I want to know which one of you jabronis brought the 40 that's sitting in our bathroom. Because there's a 40-ounce beer, which will be unnamed. Okay. And it is sitting in the office bathroom, unopened. Allegedly unopened.

On a Monday morning. On a Monday morning. On a Monday morning. I ask again, which one of you two jabronis? You know it wasn't me because if I brought a 40 ounce beer to the office it would be like finished. 38 ounces finished already. Because you

would have had a sip of it. No. Should we just grab it and split it? Let's split it for the episode. Odds, Dave. Dylan and I were in the episode. Odds, odds, Dave. You asked me this. Dylan and I were in the bathroom. Time out. Dylan has major...

Like, doesn't fulfill his odds. Yeah, no, he does. Definitely doesn't. You're talking to the king of not doing his odds over here, Dave Ruff. Hey, how's that booty hole? Not bleached, I assume. That wasn't a game of odds. That was a podcast bet.

Not this podcast. Gambling is gambling. It's not even your business. Let's gamble. Oh, really? All you had to do was wear an Arby's polo to a bar, and you couldn't do it. It was NF, and you know it. Now, Dylan's making a fair point.

You're right. I should have worn it. We got more content on me not wearing it. Before this episode's finished. Yeah, but think of the photos we would have had of you wearing that oversized Arby's polo. It's 10%. There's a 10% chance the... I'm just going to say it.

It's a Corona Mega. It's a Corona Mega 40 ounce, and it's a 10% chance it's piss. It's sealed. Someone is playing a prank. They want to see us drink pee-pee. Odds. Dude, look. They want to see us drink pee.

They don't want to see us drink Corona. It's just a warm Corona sitting in the bathroom. That's all. And to be clear, I wouldn't be drinking it anyway. You can drink pee though, right? You're not going to die. No, but I don't want to drink somebody else's pee. Barrett Grills drinks pee all the time. Dylan's the one who's been doing all the water sports. Going out on the boat

and whatnot. I don't see the correlation. Things of that nature. It's true. I don't see the correlation either, but what you're saying is very true. What are you talking about, Doug? Dave's right, dude you haven't been doing a lot of good boy i guess i should drink that corona you should drink the piss because you've you've been doing a lot of water sports get it i get it yeah um but yeah i just it's a it's a wild move and like no one no one uh no one's touched it even like the The maintenance guy was in there And he didn't even touch it

You don't touch a random 40 ounce Corona In a bathroom You just let it be What if it was just a draft beer In there with like a napkin over it That means no one can touch it Until the owner comes back

Hazy IPA Just Just chilling A little too hazy for my liking Be careful I see what you're doing I've seen American pie What's your deal?

Have you seen American pie? I'd be surprised if you hadn't Subscribe to the stream room Dude we're bringing it back No we're not You know what we should bring back? The gas station The gas station was good

It was short lived You know what we should bring back? What? The gas station. The gas station was good. It was short-lived. Hey, real quick, I would like to be the first to congratulate Cat Pat on her upcoming nuptials. Allow me to be the first to say, hey, to the happy couple, congratulations. We love KP. There was a group text yesterday, and then I did the gentleman move, and I gave the side text because I didn't want to feel like I was just piling on to everyone else. I gave her a side FaceTime. I called her.

We talked for 45 minutes. Really? Yeah. I'm sure she really wanted to talk to a 37-year-old dude for 45 minutes the day after she got engaged. I also mailed her a handwritten letter. So what did you do, Dave?

I sent them Tiff's treats. That is the most generic Austin thank you you can give somebody. Honestly, like, here are some cookies that are slightly too small. Enjoy. Yeah, have fun, man. The next two minutes of your life are going to be great. Yeah, when you don't finish them day one,

they're going to taste really good when they're stale the next day. Who sent us Tiff's Treats at the old studio? Good day one. Somebody sent us some at the CBD studio. I don't know. And they sat there for, I don't know why. I think none of us wanted to be the one to take it, and it just sat there and went bad.

I always accept a gift cookie, but I don't know. Tiff's Treats is just so constant. If you do something good in Austin, you get a box of Tiff's Treats. It's just how it works. Yeah. Free ad. Didn't you say you're going to start a rival company, Dorn's Treats? Yeah. What were the treats you were going to provide a rival company, Dorn Streets? Yeah.

What were the treats you were going to provide to people? Mostly just like tube steak, like dried meats, tube steak, stuff like that. Okay. We have a pastry section at Wilmont's called Spliff Streets. Weed. That's pretty good, man. I know. That's good.

That's pretty good. That's good. You know what a spliff is, Dave? Probably not, dude. You don't burn dumb ass. Yeah, bro. I think I know what a spliff is. Dude, that's sick.

I know. We, dude. So sick. So nectar. This dude's son was born on 4-20, if you didn't know. Dude, spliff raff over here. I kind of forgot that, and then we got his birth certificate in the mail recently, and I looked down, and I saw that it said April 20th, and I was like, oh, yeah, he was born

on 4-20. That's sick. Have you gotten social security information information i'm not asking for you to publicly uh tell us what's his number have you gotten like the card yeah okay yeah yeah it's four two zero six nine eight zero zero eight that's his that's his social security number i personally requested it damn you must have some serious pull up there yeah i emailed joe biden and i was like hey can i get a custom social for my son That's his social security number. I personally requested it. Damn, you must have some serious pull-up there. Yeah, I emailed Joe Biden and I was like, hey, can I get a custom social for my son?

Wow. Hurts nobody. Yeah. Who's the economy? It's podcast week. I don't know how my son's social security number would grow the economy. It's podcast week. Hurts nobody.

Oh, fuck. We need to post that. Randy, can you post that while we're recording, please? Make yourself useful, dude. Just post it to the Grom. No, post it to Twitter again. You'll do anything. Might need to post that. Randy, can you post that while we're recording, please? Make yourself useful, dude. Just post it to the Grom. No, post it to Twitter again. You'll do anything.

Might as well do that. You could make a case that Randy does more than us. He definitely does. He's been telling people that. Yeah, we pretty much run the show up there. He's been talking a mad mess lately. Yeah, you should have heard what he said about Wilmont. What?

All of his hinge conversations. He's like, yeah. Pretty much just like me. CEO of Watch Media is on the same profile. I write most of the dialogue for the pod. Yeah, I'm like the behind-the-scenes guy, but you know. That's how Randy talks. That's exactly what he sounds like.

Do you have a Randy impersonation? No, I don't. I think you got yourself. That's not bad. That's not bad at all. Dave's definitely done this in his car while eating lunch. Can I admit something? I swear to God, I've never. Well, maybe on Warzone.

You've done it in your head probably. I probably have. Fucking Randy. We got a loaded episode today. And I'm not just saying that. We got a loaded episode today. And I'm not just saying that. We got a lot on the docket right now. It's like the loaded baked potato I made for David. Oh, dude, you're back in?

Let me just be clear. I'm back in on baked potatoes. Hurts nobody. It's true. I'm out on baked potatoes. I'll say it. What are you doing? What's the deal with the twice baked?

They're baked twice. You bake it twice, you dumb doing? What's the deal with the twice baked? They're baked twice. You bake it twice, you dumbass. What's the deal? Twice baked are awesome. They're so good. You probably can't even do it. Yeah, I think I know how to bake something twice. You just bake it, let it sit and cool,

and then you put it back in for another hour. And that's not how it works. You got to stab it with a fork, though, a bunch of times. That's not how it works. If you don't stab it with a fork, it'll explode all over your oven. You got to mix all the fixings up and shit, and then you bake it again. All the fixings. Right, Will?

Tell them. Yeah. See? Michelin-starred chef Dorn is going to explain to us how to do it. Next, do spaghetti. I thrice bake my potatoes. That seems unnecessary. That seems like you get really dry.

How are baes overcooked? They're super sick. How are baes potatoes? Bae? I haven't had baes potatoes yet. I don't think. No, I haven't. Does she put a bae leaf potatoes? Bae? I haven't had bae's potatoes yet. I don't think. No, I haven't. Does she put a bae leaf in everything?

She does. Nice. Do you get it? Yeah. Like a bae leaf. There's nothing worse than a bae leaf. When you get a bae leaf in your mouth, it's like a bug in your mouth. I'm like, oh my god, what's going on?

Yeah, are you supposed to eat it? Is it a garnish? I guess let's eat around this leaf you picked up off the street. You could cook a bay leaf in liquid for a year and it would still come out hard as a rock. What's the deal with bay leaves? Are they necessary? They're so stupid. Do I need to go glue this to a poster board and turn it

in for my assignment? Seriously. It's just a leaf. What are you doing in here? Never in my life have I ever... I've followed recipes that call for a bay leaf and I've never put one in and nothing has ever turned out bad because of it. I think that when I gave the gift of gumbo to no one in this room, I didn't get it either, just to be clear. I think there was a bay leaf involved. I think I used the bay leaf, and I was like, I don't need to put this in here.

I'm just so anti-bay leaf at this point. I've never tried something and thought to myself, man, if only this had a bay leaf in it. You know what I mean? Glaring lack of bay leaf. I didn't even know bays could grow leaves. Yeah. Want to call her up and ask her about it? I was more talking about bodies of water.

Oh, okay. But sure, if you want me to call your girlfriend and ask her about how she grows leaves, I can do that. She might be very confused. Let's just call her right now. Cold call. Bring it back. Yeah, let's just bring back the cold call. That segment crushed. Just imagine a

bay spaghetti on the menu and it has bay leaves and it's spelled that way. That's so stupid. We're going to end up making a fucking t-shirt that says bay spaghetti on it and it's going to have a recipe on the back. With bay leaves.

If you put bay leaves in your spaghetti, I swear to God. People do it, man. You guys hear about this Leukemia and Lymphoma Society? Yeah. We've all been affected by cancer in some way, shape, or form, and we're campaigning to raise money in the Man and Woman, or in our case, the Team of the Year campaign, because LLS does more to advance science and support patients

than any other cancer organization. They're the largest nonprofit dedicated to creating a world without blood cancers, and since 1949, they've invested nearly $1.3 billion into groundbreaking research, pioneering many of today's most innovative approaches. Go to the link in the description of this episode. Donate. Give what you can. Make it happen.

So happy to be partnered with these, with this organization. We also have a call to action. It's called a CTA in the biz. Yeah. That's what it's called, Dylan. Not TNA, Dylan. It's a CTA. So if you could please go follow Circling Back Pod and watch media on the Grom.

You can't make TNA jokes. We're talking about cancer research. He's reading the copy. Also, go follow us on TikTok. We went viral with a Cum Rocket video that I wasn't a part of. It does kind of make me feel bad that our most successful video on TikTok is something I'm not a part of. Wait, wait, wait.

Where were you? I was having a child. The cum rocket thing was without Will? I just realized that. Come on, Dave. Yeah, one of my questions when I came in after was about whether or not they actually called it cummies. You were like, dude, did I miss the boat on the sea rocket? Like, is it too late to get in?

We're like, yeah. Are they calling you Davey Crockett over here? That was a frequent nickname. That's pretty good. It's not bad. Damn. That's good, dude. Also, go leave a review in 5-star rating.

We got a review last night. Can I read it? Well, you got two of them. Yeah, we got two last night, actually. One was from someone whose username is just a bunch of 69s. One of them is pretty rude. It says, can't say enough about the sexual energy displayed by these guys. The confidence they display surrounding their polyamorous homosexual relationship is truly inspiring.

This isn't the rude one, by the way. And their bits about being married slash having girlfriends is hilarious, too. They even have gone far enough to use fake babies. Their dedication to bits is amazing. Easy five out of five. Those babies are real. It's a fantastic review. It's a good review. Those beautiful babies. Their dedication to bits is amazing. Easy five out of five. Those babies are real. It's a fantastic review. It's a good review. Those beautiful babies. And I appreciate them

respecting our dedication to the bit. This one says from username 170. It says, don't ease up. It says, Dylan bullied me back in high school, so listening to Dave and Will body bag him on an almost daily basis is pretty gratifying. Even 33 years later,

I can't get over how mean he was to me. I talked to that guy see this little jab at the age they're pretty pretty clever yeah i talked to that guy he's and he did go to high school with dylan 33 years ago and he was like here's what dylan was doing he said dylan was really good at doing math on the um thing where you move the beads to the side. What is that thing called? I don't know, dude. We use overhead projectors, man. Come on. Overhead project this.

Really? Dude, they need to bring back the projector. How do those bead things even work? Does anybody really know? No. Dude, the name. Hey, what's the name? Hey, dumb-dumb, just use a calculator.

Abacus. Use a calculator. What are you doing? Get a TI-89, dude. No, Dylan had the TI-1. That's so stupid. That's how old he is. That's great.

I like that. We're legit the same age. Also, like two months away from us both being 37. Seven or nine. Go to patreon.com slash circling back podcast. Tomorrow we're doing worse stuff. We got Bachelor season cooking up real quick. Before you guys know it, it's going to be Batch season.

Or I guess Bachelorette. God, I can't wait. We got Katie in the hopper. We're going to do a little preview of the guys soon. Go subscribe on Patreon. Patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. Dude, I love previewing guys. We're about to track packages hard.

I want to talk guys with you guys. All right? Talking guys with the guys. We're about to track packages hard. I want to talk guys with you guys. All right? Talking guys with the guys. Boys will be boys. Guys being dudes. I got to say, from time to time, I like to pop into our Discord and look at the Bachelor channel because it pops off. Sometimes I like to not look at it because I feel like there's a lot of spoilers.

But it's gearing up to be a juicy season. Sometimes if I have like juice juice sometimes if i have like five or six like days to kill i'll just go and i'll start why would you ever have that many days to kill yeah well you have a full-time job it takes to go through all the discord you're part owner of the company like there's something you could be doing right right you know unless it's like hey come up to the office on friday like dave randy and will crime couldn't couldn't ask couldn't have you do that i heard you're up here Unless it's like, hey, come up to the office on Friday like Dave, Randy, and Will. Crime boys. Couldn't have you do that.

I heard you're up here just playing video games. Is that true, Dave? No, Randy broke the TV or some shit. Oh, very cool, Randy. I don't know what happened. We had a business lunch on Friday with a certain someone who helps us with our accounting. And he's like, so you guys are just going back to the office after this? And it was like, yeah, dude, for sure.

Yeah, definitely running straight back there by the way i was crying boys and by the way i'm not gonna go home and sit on my couch or anything that meal was dope it was dope but by the uh by me so i my wife asked me why i parked um in the middle of the driveway because she couldn't park her car there? Somebody was sprinting inside. Somebody was turning in on two wheels. In that driveway. And it was me. You pulled in so fast, you just said, fuck it, with the parking job? Oh, yeah.

Like, you had to just drive that thing through the garage into the kitchen. Jeez. I made it. I mean, yeah, you're moving soon. Like, you can't just be damaging your house on that level. Not going to get the deposit back. Yeah. You want that security. Cars in the living room.

Like big facts, my tum-tum is so superior to both of you guys. It's unbelievable. Dude, it's just so efficient. You can handle anything. It's because you're like a dog. You eat plain rice and unmarinated chicken breast all the time. Bay spaghetti is just noodles and butter. No, come on, man.

Dude, we're not here to slander noodles and butter, though. That was a classic. We're also not here to slander Bay. When you're eight years old. What did bae do to y'all? Exactly. No, you don't want to air that out right now. Let's talk about our weekends.

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It's crazy dope. They grew a new pear? P-E-A-R, like the fruit? You dumbass. I tried the... Yeah, okay. I got some bad news. They have my old address, so I haven't gotten any of the new flavors yet.

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Dylan, what did you do this weekend? I'll keep mine brief. I had a pretty dope weekend, I'm not going to lie. You can just have my time. If your weekend was so dope, why are you keeping it brief? I yield my time to you. There's so much to talk about in my life anyway. Friday, I had a little lake outing with my new friends.

Oh, we know. Oh, I heard. With my new friends. So from my understanding, you went on this lake outing and you were really, really close to where I live when you were getting on this boat. Yeah. Like I could have shouted and you would have heard me. Huh. Tad said that they were like, oh, do you want to go say hi to Will and his new baby and somebody was like no we don't need to do that i don't want to bother him

oh man i what do you want me to do like hey well if you would have been getting on a boat like within shouting distance from my place you would have definitely invited me on right i would have uh forest gummed you and i would have like just jumped off the boat and swam up to shore thank you that's pretty sick what a good friend but it would have been me jumped off the boat and swam up to shore thank you that's pretty sick what a good friend but it would have been me saying hi and then like by the way i'm about to get on this boat that you're not getting on i've been kind of rude at the same time you know what i mean yeah you can always like invite me on the boat too dude you're always calling yourself a rude boy rihanna how you doing white boy summer is that Dylan's Fave? No, it's not. Church. Anyway, good time on Friday out with the new friends.

Saturday was kind of a big day. I had a little sleepover situation with the kids, Bae's daughter, Parks. Did you guys watch movies and shit? We did. It was mega cute, man. It was awesome. It's got to be Bae's daughter. gotta be based gotta be a better way little bay yeah bae's bae's daughter it was a cute scene man the kids are great anyway that's pretty much it

kids are great sunday was rainy and gross and i didn't do anything kids are cool that's it man a dope weekend yeah i didn't really do much. I had a great, a fine time. Rhodes being just, he's at like an age now. Just, I'm having fun. He's having a good time. He's laughing a little bit. He's, uh.

What? You don't think he's laughing? Cool. My kid doesn't do any of that. He will. Hey, dude, just wait. Oh, dude, just wait. What's he laughing at?

You doing bits? Doing your Randy impersonation? He likes it when I put him up in the air and he thinks he's gonna go flying but he doesn't because i hold on to him are you doing like real or fake sesame street segments yeah he loves my oscar the grouch it's his favorite bit that's great oh they'll pretty much just watch cage cage fight saturday texted dan and micah about him oh damn oh i did a backed Dan and Micah about him. Oh, Dan. Oh, I did a backdoor cover.

And Micah called me. He's like, do you want to do a backdoor cover real quick? I'm like, yeah, that's fine. So he called me. And his internet, your old apartment, the service in there is such trash. Oh, the phone service, not the internet. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, I got confused.

Yes, the phone service in my old place is all-time bad. If I ever ignored a call from somebody, it wasn't me actually ignoring you. It was just me not getting the call. Yeah. Yeah, it's really beautiful stuff. But, yeah, I taught cage fights with Micah. Watched the Nelson. The rain was just a bad weather weekend in Texas.

Yeah, buddy, get used to it. Dude, I look out my window. I can't stand the rain. Bomp, bomp, bomp. I can't stand the rain. Yeah, I didn't sing it for that reason. I can't stand the rain. That's how it goes.

Who's got the keys to the Jeep? Super duper. I'm just trying to burn time because I didn't do shit this weekend. Do you want to defer to me? I yield my time to you as well. Well, I got good news. I did even less than you did this weekend, Dave. I did nothing. Look at us.

Sally and I actually had a date night on Friday, which was wonderful. We had the in-laws look after old Fritzy, and we got to go out to dinner. Sally and I notoriously go on very quick dates because we eat fast, and I always know what I'm getting off the menu before. So we tried to make it as long of a date as we could, and it lasted an hour and 45 minutes from leaving until returning home, and it felt like it was three hours. That's not very long.

No. No, we're not very good at that. What did you order? Way too much food. Your boy got so much Thai food he had no clue what to do with it, so we had a full menu the next day at home. Very wonderful. Saturday, I didn't leave the house.

Just didn't even think about it. Just watching footy from the couch, enjoying myself, having a good old time. And then yesterday, it was a big day for me. I ate some pizza, and I burned the roof of my mouth. And so if I feel like I'm underperforming today, it's because the tool that I use to podcast is currently just going through it. Who, Dylan? Come on, dude. Got him!

I thought you hurt your mouth on a crouton. Well, the crouton was like the first part of it. That kind of scratched the roof of my mouth. That's tough. And then once I started eating the pizza, I burned my mouth on the first bite of the pizza. You burned your mouth on bae? And then another pizza came out, and I took a bite of that one, trying to be

a little more cautious, and the cheese did the thing where it came off of the pizza, and it got stuck to the roof of my mouth, and so I was panicking, trying to get it off, but by the time it was off, it was... Where was this pizza from? It was homemade pizza, Dave. What? My sister-in-law made some pizza with her sourdough starter. Are you kidding?

How was the pizza? Be honest. It was good pizza. It was good pizza. She did say that this run of pizza was not as good as the first run with the sourdough starter. And so I do think that there's room for improvement. But overall, I was very happy with the pizza that I was eating. What's a sourdough starter?

Do you not know what a sourdough starter is? Does anybody except for you? I'm not sure whose side I'm on with this. It's funny both ways. I'm just going to middleman it. I'm just bold enough to ask. You have to have a starter in order to make your sourdough. You can't just make sourdough.

You can't just be like, oh, okay, I'm going to go to the store and get ingredients. You need to get the starter for it. What is it, though? It's a sourdough. It's this little tiny thing in this little jar, and it starts it. I don't know. I don't like sourdough. What does that mean?

You'd have to get a starter. Dylan, it's dough that is sour. I know what sourdough is, David. I don't know what a starter is. David? David? What are you doing, David? The purpose of the starter is to produce vigorous leaven, leaven,

and to develop the flavor of the bread. In practice, there are several kinds of starters, as the ratio of water to flour in the starter varies. That didn't really help. Yeah, Dylan. Thanks for asking, though. Did she put a bay leaf on the za? No bay leaves, unfortunately. No bay on the za?

She did toss some of the crouton seasoning onto the za for the last one, and I have to say it hit different. You use the term sourdough starter like it's so common that everyone should know what the hell it is. Everyone listening right now, every single person listening right now is nodding their head like, yeah, I know exactly what a sourdough starter is. Absolutely not. Everyone's nodding. 80% of people don't know what a sourdough starter is. This dude probably doesn't even know that kombucha needs a starter to a mother. You had to look it up to explain. Dylan has never had the mother. You don't even know about kombucha mothers a starter to a mother. You had to look it up to explain. Dylan has never had the mother.

You don't even know about kombucha mothers, dude? Oh, it's some kind of... You've never even had ACV, have you? ACV? Your pH level's all jacked up. I can tell. Dude, what is your... Honest question, what's your problem?

Can I bring back the gas station real quick? Yeah. Are you going to gas me up, Doug? I am. Dylan, I got to say, man. You're looking better, man. What do you mean? What do you mean? That's so backhanded.

What do you mean? No, no, you know what I mean. I don't. You are, you've gotten yourself together a little bit. Nice. Like, I don't seem hungover? Is that it? No, no, I wasn't. No. Dylan. I look better? Better than what? I'm kidding, man. Oh, you know what I did?

Speaking of looking better, I shaved my chest with the Manscaped thing last night. Really, dude? I need to do that before this wedding this next week. Pop top, bitch. Let's see. I don't want it, dude. No, save that for the OnlyFans. Give us a pull-down Cleave shot.

I'm not going to show you Cleave. Show us Cleave, dog. No, people are watching this video. No one's so it's cleaved dog no people were watching this video no one's watching you're right 300 people are watching this video i need to trim up my chest 300 people dude it's a game changer i've got two little patches of hair on my back that i need to take care of as well they're not like super bad but they're they're definitely like okay i can't take that off of the pool it's pool season um yeah you have how do you do Are you going to wax them? No, I just have Sally Just like Trim it real quick

Damn You should pluck them No No, I burn them off Just singe them? Mm-hmm I take a Bic lighter And I just do that

You get the sourdough Starter pizza And just slap it on your back And it melts it off Because it's so piping How short did you go With the hair, dog? Take your shirt off

Not all the way Let us see it I'll take the tops off a little bit I'm not popping top. If you pop top, I'll pop top. I have like these two white chest hairs. On Monday mornings are kind of dope. It's because you're old.

I know. I have no white chest hair. I do have, I have a single back hair. And I mean a single one in the same spot. I have like seven. And I pluck that one. I have like these two little spots around my shoulder blades. Yeah, those are really gross.

I know, they're disgusting. No, you wouldn't know because I have Sally take care of those every time I go to the pool. Do you think it's because your T has been raised from the Peloton? Maybe. I thought having a child tanks it, though. I'm back on that bullshit. Oh, really? See, people say that.

I feel like my T is higher than it was before. Yeah, you're crazy man right now. I think that might just be the pep in your step from being a dad. And also the dad dick. Yeah, yeah. Like, being a dad's good for the mental health. It's, like, tight. But, like, in terms of actual pep in step.

And you're all meted up now. What do you mean? You meted up. Is it heavy? Oh, that. Oh, my God. That was the horniest reply tweet I've seen in a long time. That's a fake account, right?

Yeah, that's a fake account. There's not some. I don't know, man. No, that was a fake account. That was the horniest reply tweet I've seen in a long time. That's a fake account, right? Yeah, that's a fake account. There's not some... I don't know. No, that was a fake account. Are you sure? That's someone that's trying to build that following. That's a Barry McCockenter. He has like 250 followers. I know, but they're trying to do it. Just based on the bio alone, I know that someone's not that...

People don't know what we're talking about. Somebody was congratulating Ben Wallace for being inducted into the hall of fame or announced he's going to be in the next class and um woman jennifer jennifer and jennifer uh alluded to them having uh in high school a romp having fun in quotes and the replies and this was super h and it was just funny because it said like pta mom in the profile yeah and then some dude asked if uh pinwalls was meet it up which could be referring to anything really who knows maybe yeah maybe they were asking if you cooked dinner before sure hard to say sure dave you didn't you didn't talk about treats you didn't talk about during your weekend and fun the

fact that you got uh got a little something for the office. Some new office snacks. I'm not talking about Randy. You know, even though we don't necessarily have anything on Friday, I like to come up here and just mix it up, man. Just find something to do, man. Always trying to make the company better. You're a glue guy when it comes to the company. This is just me.

And I did see Will up here and Randy, of course. But anyway, I did. I went to the HEB and bought a bunch of snacks you did yeah snack game is stupid will took a picture of it i think he's probably gonna post it at some point well no i don't think this is post where so we have interns starting and our snack game has pretty much been we have a water cooler. We have a bunch of Sour Patch Kids. We have a fridge full of Vizzy. We have a random assortment of IPAs.

I'm not really sure where those came from. We do have a fridge full of Vizzy. Essentially, the only thing we've had in the office to eat or drink for the last year has been sent to us from listeners. Yeah. Or sponsors. Dave bought what looks like an array of chips and popcorn that might be on the healthier side of things.

I bought Cool Snacks, which is just like the mixed bag of Doritos, hence what Dylan's eating right now. And then I bought some on the healthier side. I've got a question. You've got some organic animal cookies, so that's big for the squad. That's a good snack. That sounds tight. You've got some Think bars. Lemon Delight as well as creamy peanut butter.

I wouldn't have gone with Think, but Brett requested them and I looked and I was like, this checks out. We got low shug. And you know, we can't have people running around and you're just like

spiking their insulin and whatnot. All right, listen, I'm very appreciative of what you've done with the snacks. We haven't even scratched the surface. It's going to be great. I can't wait to get in there. Actually, I already have. I've already enjoyed a snack. We haven't even scratched the surface. It's going to be great. I can't wait to get in there. Actually, I already have.

I've already enjoyed a snack. Why so much Ritz crackers? Dylan didn't just enjoy a snack. He had some Cool Ranch Doritos at 10.30 this morning. We have a 10-year supply of Ritz crackers. We have so many Ritz crackers nowadays. That was just the box I had at H-E-B. I was like, I don't even know what we can use these for.

Do you snack on Ritz crackers? No, I don't even eat what we can use these for. Do you snack on Ritz crackers? No, I don't even eat 75% of the stuff I bought. Did the interns request Ritz crackers? No, but, I mean, one of those two kids is going to enjoy it. I buy Ritz crackers for Parks routinely. He loves them. Well, good. He comes up here from time to time.

But now I don't have to buy them because I'll just grab a bundle. Consumption in office. I'll grab a bundle of sleeves from here and nobody will even know that they're missing. I will give you a demerit if you take those Ritz crackers. Please don't demerit me. Have you trained him to think that Ritz crackers are like a sweet? No, he just goes in on them. He loves them, man.

Also got a nice plant-based protein, even though no one responded to my text asking which plant-based protein the intern would want. Well, we don't know the answer to that. Why do we not screen these people? It's true. Randy, I get it. That would be a good question. I don't know. I didn't ask him.

What if Randy was your boss, dude? He is literally in charge of the interns. George? George? George? Randy walked in when I brought the snacks in, and he looked, and he goes, yeah, I won't eat any of this. What a jerk.

Thanks, Randy. Appreciate him for once, Randy. And the thing is, you literally asked for requests beforehand. Absolutely did. And then Randy had to come in here and rain on your parade. Yeah, all I said was low shug. I'm out on shug. Oh, got the little Horizon chocolate milks.

You know, feeding some milk. I was hoping we had more milk in the studio. And milk. And milk. What? Where did I miss? I don't think you missed. I don't think you missed, but I think you might have gone a little too all in on the Ritz.

I was just shocked at how much. It was a big box. It's a big box of Ritz. You're putting on the Ritz, dude. We're going to have one of these kids come in here, and they're going to be like, oh, dude, I fucking live on Ritz. If you look in the drawer, you're going to see the Ritz from the top. So it looks like a bunch of sleeves of the Ritz crackers. They look like pogs.

You would think that they're like the small sleeves, which I get parks to have like, I don't know, 12 to 15 crackers in them. But no, these are the full sleeves. No, we have 18 sleeves. We're loaded. We have 18 sleeves of Ritz crackers right now. Pogs were the original cryptocurrency. That's true. Yeah, that's right.

You're not wrong. And arguably, Ritz was the original Pog. P-O-G, not P-A-W-G. We know what Dylan was thinking. I'm trying to remember what that stands for. Yeah, okay. P-A-W-G, not P-A-W-G. We know what Dylan was thinking. I'm trying to remember what that stands for. Yeah. Okay. P-A-W-G?

I'm trying to remember. Give me the first word. You showed us your recommended. Give me the first word. Fat. Oh, okay. I got it. You got it?

I got it. You figured it out? Why don't you Google it? I got it. No, I got it. I talk about Headspace. You can Google that. I figured it out, man. I'm smart. Wouldn't it be great if there were a Google it? I got it. No, I got it. While I talk about Headspace, you can Google that. I figured it out, man.

I'm smart. Wouldn't it be great if there were a pocket-sized guide that helps you sleep, focus, act, and just generally be better? Well, I got news for you guys. There is. And if you have 10 minutes, Headspace can change your life. Headspace is your daily dose of mindfulness in the form of guided meditations and an easy-to-use app.

It's one of the only meditation apps advancing the field of mindfulness and meditation through clinically validated research. So whatever the situation, Headspace really can help you feel better. If you're overwhelmed, Headspace has even three-minute SOS meditations for you. You know your boy loves Headspace. Great for beginners. There's some people out there who might be a little hesitant to get into meditation. That was me.

I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I don't want to admit that I'm struggling with my mentals. That was me, dog. You shouldn't be like that. Help me with my sleep. Oh, if you need some help falling asleep, they have wind-down sessions that their members swear by. And for parents, Headspace even has morning meditations

you can do with your kids. Just turn that brain off for a minute. As Will and I know, sometimes you get up late and you're up with the baby and you can't get back to sleep. They've got the perfect ones for you, the little quick ones. I wish I would have done them last night, honestly. Yeah? Was it a late one?

It was a late one last night. Yeah, from about 2.50 until about 4.15. Your boy was just sitting there struggling. I really should have been doing this. I was sitting there, and I was trying to fall asleep. Man! Anyway, Headspace is backed by 25 published studies on its benefits, 600,000 five-star reviews, and over 60 million downloads.

Seems like a lot of downloads. If we did that for our podcast, we'd be really rich. They'll never sniff that. You're right. That's fair. Build a life-changing meditation practice with mindfulness that works for you on your schedule anytime, anywhere. You deserve to feel happier, and Headspace's meditation made simple.

Go to headspace.com slash circling. That's headspace.com slash circling for a free one-month trial with access to Headspace's full library of meditations for every situation. This is the best deal offered right now. So head over to Headspace.com slash circling today. Well, let's talk about the thing that we got tagged in the most this weekend. We got tagged so many times in this. It was a lot, and it's mainly because of Dylan over here

who claims that he can take any animal on the planet and beat them up. Any big cat. He's a lot, and it's mainly because of Dylan over here, who claims that he can take any animal on the planet and beat them up. Any big cat. He's been clear. Don't do him wrong. Just a cheetah. Everybody calm down. So this is a graph that came out. Do we have a... From YouGov. I have a lot of questions

about this. It says, what animal could you beat in a fight? Compared to women, men feel most able to take on medium-sized dogs and geese. It says, what animal could you beat in a fight compared to women and men feel most able to take on medium-sized dogs and geese? These numbers, I can't make sense of some of these. How is a house cat

not 100% or 99 plus? This guy's never been left out by a house cat. How can you not take a rat in a fight? So the animals in descending order

or ascending order would be rat, house cat, goose, medium-sized dog, eagle, large dog, king cobra, chimpanzee, kangaroo, wolf, crocodile, gorilla, elephant, lion, and then grizzly bear being the hardest to take. The rat, do you get the dub if the rat gives you the bubonic plague and you die like two weeks later? Do you kill the rat before it kills you? If you kill the rat before it kills you, then you get that dub? Chimpanzee is the one that tries to take limbs and stuff from you. Don't they rip your dick off? They rip your wiener off, yeah. And it feeds it to you.

Well, I don't know if they do that. But a chimp should be higher on this list. You're right. A rat, a house cat, a goose. Those three should be 98 plus. Am I wrong? 76 percent. No, no, no.

Have you ever seen a goose? No, I know goose are fearless. Geese are mean as fuck, but it's still a goose, right? It's not going to kill me. It's not going to beat me up. No, but it's not going to lose to you. You know what I mean? All you got to do is grab its neck, and then it's game over.

The most ridiculous thing on here to me is the jump from large dog to king cobra. Yeah, they really accelerated it here. I think a large dog could tear my hand off, but I think I could eventually take it. When it comes to a King Cobra, though... What kind of large dog, though? German Shepherd. Is it a... Okay. If it's a trained German Shepherd, that thing's killing it. Is it a St. Bernard or is it like a... Sure, that's fair.

I'm sure St. Bernards are known to be just vicious killers. That's the point I'm making. It's very unclear by this. St. Bernard has a canteen around its neck. Yes, they're venomous. Are King Cobras venomous? So why is this the one after large dog? I don't know.

That being said, I don't know if the ones ahead of it are things that I could take. Because I do think rat, yes. House cat, yes. Goose, you could take a goose if you had to. Are you trying to tell me that 62% of men think they can't take an eagle in a fight? An eagle. Maybe it's not that they can't, but maybe they just don't want to. What does an eagle weigh? Nine pounds?

Thank you, David. You don't respect eagles? What does an eagle weigh? I respect, I love eagles. There's a... Jalen Hurts. What kind of eagle are you talking about? Too much dip. I think everyone, when they think of eagle, they assume a bald eagle. So you talking about? Too much dip I think everyone when they think of eagle

They assume a bald eagle So you want to know how much a bald eagle weighs What if it's actually not an eagle It's eagle I cherry the band And you have to fight the entire band at one time My legit guess is 12 pounds An eagle They range anywhere from 6.6 pounds to 14 pounds

Okay so I'm right on A golden eagle Or actually There are some much bigger eagles out here than bald eagles. 62% of men don't think they can take an eagle in a fight. The stellar sea eagle is larger in terms of weight. Yeah, I'm surprised you didn't know that. Oh my gosh.

They must have hit a super soft crowd with this survey. Why'd they name this after your dog? They went to a candle convention or something. So hold on. Let's talk about this. It says here, which of the following animals, if any, do you think you could beat in a fight if you were unarmed? So let's say it's three-minute rounds, five rounds.

Eagle just has to fly and just get – just towel on you and just fly off and just score score technical technical fight on points doesn't have to take you down or anything if an eagle is flying at me and i know it's coming i'm not scared i don't know if it's gonna be doing that yeah it's trying to fight if i know it's flying toward me ready to ready to squab odds you'll get that tattoo will uh not no like yeah it might scratch me up or whatever it's not gonna beat me up i mean i'm taking it down like it's gonna win on points you're focusing too much it's gonna jab you way too much on the people that are are afraid of taking on rats and house cats and geese and you're not focusing enough on the six percent of women and seven percent of men that think they can take a grizzly bear on an arm.

Those are people who just goof it. Those are the dealers. And they have to register that answer on a survey, but they're not actually, no one thinks they can take a grizzly bear or an elephant or a gorilla. Wait, who said elephant? 8% of women can take a gorilla in a fight? Arguably, elephant is the one literally that no one could take. What, you're going to choke out an elephant?

Put it into your hand. There's nothing. You're absolutely defenseless. You're not going to beat the elephant. Yeah, nothing you can do. You can just run away from it. That's it. It's going to win.

You know, you've got to run in zigzag, Dave. You hear about that, right? From elephants? They have limited lateral movement. They lack the agility, man. They can't make those sharp cuts. Their shuttle is trash. Exactly.

Could an elephant beat Brett in a shuttle? If nothing else, as a football player like it's on the it's on the line don't make us do the washed combine randy's been talking about it there's a i haven't there's a goose down in my place probably where you were uh launching your boat from dylan uh no you were actually probably doing my new friend's boat you were probably doing it for a private doc not from a uh public doc that's just trash stuff we're gonna listen to this and they're gonna think i'm they used to call them private doc, not from a public doc. That's just trash. Stop. We're going to listen to this. They used to call him private doc. Your new friends don't listen to this podcast. They don't take you seriously.

They does. There's a goose down there, and that thing is aggressive as hell. It was going at a guy today that was fishing. They're mean. Every golf course with water, which is pretty much all golf courses, so not everyone, but a lot of them, there's always the aggressive goose. Right. They're mean. They're aggressive. But if it comes down to it like you can handle one sure i i uh i have an

issue with chimpanzees more people thinking they could take the chimpanzee than the kangaroo yeah i don't want to tangle with either but the chimpanzee is insanely strong and as dylan alluded to we'll rip off um let's just name different body parts. Your hang down. Your hang down. So here's a question. Other stuff. Do you think a chimpanzee should be above a kangaroo in terms of fighting?

Yes. Correct? Yes. Sure. Maybe even a wolf. I was going to say, that was my next question. Yeah. Do you put the chimpanzee above a wolf?

Probably. I do too, honestly. Do you put it above a crocodile? No. Honestly, the crocodile, again, with the zigzag, it above a crocodile no honestly the crocodile again with the zigzag you jump let's say you jump over the crocodile you run you jump because it's not gonna why are you jumping over the croc to get to get its back yeah if you can take the crocodile's back and you can submit it and then you get a technical knockout is that what a tko is i don't

fucking know i'm not i'm not a part of that podcast so their jaw when they close it very strong but the lift not very strong those muscles so you can easily hold it shut a lot of people forget that will was over here making a great point you've seen some submitting the fucking thing if you can submit a crocodile then i would put that easier than a wolf and a kangaroo and a chimpanzee just putting it out there i don't think the crocodile is gonna let you like it just climb on its back. No, but it doesn't, you know. If you pull guard, I think it's over.

Are you in the water? If you're in the water, you have no chance. Here's my list of the toughest of these to beat. It goes elephant one, and then it goes gorilla maybe over grizzly bear.

Gorilla's not on. Oh, yeah, gorilla's on there. It goes elephant, yeah, elephant, gorilla, grizzly bear. Gorilla's not on. Oh, yeah, gorilla's on there. It goes elephant. Yeah, elephant, gorilla, grizzly, lion. Didn't crock. If you were at a bar and the 7% of men who said they could take on a grizzly bear were standing at that bar, what would they look like? I don't know. Do you want me to get a mirror?

Would they be wearing like-out shirts and shit? You know that tweet that went viral the weekend of those uppity white dudes at a bar outside wearing polos and shit? I don't know if it went viral-viral, but it went pretty viral. It was in our group text. That's what it looked like. Those guys. They were doing this conversation. Yeah, dude, I could take a Chris of you. Yeah, we were on a hunt, actually, out there in Madagascar.

Madagascar. Good movie. Yeah, sure, sure. A lot of societal topics covered in that movie that you don't realize. You probably didn't pick up on that because you were probably texting while Parks was watching it. There's levels to this. Okay.

We've got to talk about the King Cobra real quick. That's a wild card. You just have to pretty much... Is it that hard to take a golf ball? You just can't let it bite you. What do you mean take a golf ball? I don't know why I said golf ball.

No, you're unarmed. It was just you. And arguably, you're nude. You have to be nude in this fight Wanna hear my impression of a king cobra? Go Dude, I think you nailed it Those are tough looking snakes

That's what it sounds like when they spit their venom Tough looking snakes They spit it? They don't inject it through their fangs? I think they do both, man They do both, dude That's how fucking savage they are And then they say spit on it

How disrespectful is that? They just spit their venom. Like, spit on it. So they hit you with the venom, and then they say spit on it. They literally just did. There's a glaring lack of hooved animals on this list. Like, hooves. Like, what about a horse?

A horse should be on here. Of course. No one can take a horse. Exactly. But there's a lot of people who think Oh I can take that horse Like you When you said that like

After the horses tried to trample you You're like I'm going to go back out there Square up Nah They rattled me pretty good that day Not enough that you didn't take Bay out there And let her get near them I wouldn't let my family near those horses

After what they did to you I want to talk to That says a lot I want to talk to the 24% of men Who said they couldn't take Bay out there and let her get near them. I wouldn't let my family near those horses after what they did to you. I want to talk to a lot. I want to talk to the 24% of men who said they can take a rat in a fight. Dude, rats are gross. Admit they're gross. They're disgusting. But what if it's a New York rat? I don't care.

All right. Oh, pizza rat. Pizza rat, New York pizza rat. And you don't, you can't beat it because pizza is Bay and you don't want to hurt pizza rat. You don't want to hurt Bay's feelings. don't want to hurt bae's feelings. And there's a bae leaf on the pizza. I don't think that was part of the survey, though. What if there's a bae leaf on the pizza, there's a sourdough starter,

and it grosses you out? Sourdough starter. Can you imagine looking at a medium-sized dog? Like, Rosie's a medium-sized dog. She's 45 pounds. Can you imagine looking at her and being like, oh, shaking in your boots? Come on. Okay, or a house cat.

She's got that tail going. You know how easy it is to submit a house cat just grab it roar put a piece of tape on its back like you could just throw it paralyzes or like a laser pointer yeah yeah well you're unarmed it sees your shadow and just like infatuated with it and then you just walk over and just punch it in the stomach? A rat. Just step on it. Kick it. Like, what are you doing? Argument for the wolf. Where do you think you are in the wolf? Wolf or kangaroo?

Wolf or kangaroo. I want to fight a kangaroo because I feel like kangaroos are more down to scrap, and whereas wolves are more down to kill. Exactly. They're just looking for, like, just a good exhibition. You'll leave a kangaroo fight battered and bruised. You'll leave a wolf fight dead. Kangaroo bruised. You'll leave a wolf fight dead. Kangaroo walks out, oh, fair play, fair play.

Yeah. Good match. They just want a box. They just want a box. A wolf wants to eat you. What English football team do these guys, do the kangaroos support? I guess they're more into Aussie rules. Chelsea.

They're actually pretty stoked about La Liga. The news on that, Will. Yeah, a lot of La Liga news coming out lately. I'm going to eat you. Roar! I have nothing else on this. I think I could take everything up until the King Cobra. That's where I stop.

I want to see the guy who's going to take the elephant. Who's just going to just... He's just working on it, just throwing punches. Yeah, is he trying to break that thing down over 10 rounds? What are you trying to do? I agree, but I would throw kangaroo in there as well. I don't know.

I would move kangaroo below chimpanzee and I would go up to that. I'm going to withhold my kangaroo opinions until we actually acquire ours from the guy that I emailed back at Grand X. Oh. I might have a beat on a kangaroo. Gross.

My buddy... Oh kangaroo. Gross. My buddy... Oh, man. Dude. Why would you do that? I got a video of a kangaroo that was a baby kangaroo at a bar in Fort Worth yesterday. Swag. Okay. That is such a flex.

Are you going to try to acquire it? Did it have a mask on? Was it boxing? It wasn't boxing. It's a little young to train. Was he drinking Fosters at the bar? Aye. He was eating an Awesome Blossom.

That's the Chili's one. He should do the other one. Fosters. Outback. What's the one at Outback called? Australian for steak. Bloomin' Onion? Bloomin' Onion.

It's the same thing. People forget that. Right. People do forget that. We should do a taste test. Oh, we should do a Bloomin' Onion? Bloomin' Onion. It's the same thing. People forget that. Right. People do forget that. We should do a taste test. Oh, we should do a Bloomin' Onion challenge. Hurts nobody.

Grows the economy, if anything. Mm-hmm. Wow. You guys ready for something? Wait, what are we doing? Podcast week? We have a new segment alert. New segment?

We have a new segment alert. That was bad. My heart went in that one. I'm sorry. Is this the gas station? What's your problem? New segment. We have a new segment alert. That was bad. My heart went in that one. I'm sorry. Is this the gas station? What's your problem? New segment. Get to the new segment already, man.

This is Wilmons. So a video came out. This was probably early in the weekend. May 14th is when we tweeted it from Washed Media. Go add Washed underscore media on the Twitter. It's from a Peloton instructor. Are you guys familiar with any Peloton instructors at all? I know their faces. I don't know their names.

Zero. Cody is probably the one that you would know the best because he's the one who's – he's very beloved in the Peloton community. I don't do a lot of Cody rides, but he's probably one of the GOAT instructors. You're not rocking with Cody? No, I rock with Cody. Okay. Because he's rocking with us.

Exactly. Thank you, David. But in terms of the pantheon of the most important instructors, we've got Cody, Alex Toussaint, Allie Love, and I think those are the top dogs for sure. Can I ask a question about Peloton instructors? You can. Those top three you just named. Mm-hmm.

Making really good money. I think they make about $250,000 a year. Do you think they have any equity in Peloton? I don't know, but I would venture to guess no. I bet you the real money for those people are away from the Peli. I don't know what kind of deals they can do. And more like the influencer type shit. I know like Alex Toussaint does some spinoff.

It's not an actual Theragun, but it's some type of Theragun kind of thing. Probably the one I have. I follow Alex Toussaint on all social media because he's my guy. He has a very nice house that he has purchased with his money. He started from the bottom and now he's here.

He was a janitor at one point, I think for Peloton, and now he's one of their lead instructors. That's his origin story, Dylan. That's pretty cool. Oh, it's real cool. I love that. He's the man.

He's the best. But a video came out, I think on Friday, of Cody Rigsby, and I think I'm just going to play the audio from it now. Are you guys ready? Is he related to Bear Rigby, the guy who wrote Woolmans? Barry. I think they have different last names, Dylan, so they could be related

But I don't know if it would be a direct relation We'll know very soon Here's the clip You are a hot steaming plate of fajitas At a packed Chili's on a Friday night Just turning heads Getting everybody's attention Is that a fajita?

Oh shit How excited are we in the restaurant When a fajita? Oh, shit. How excited are we in the restaurant when a fajita goes by? We're so curious. Who's getting that sizzling plate? Who is it? How have we not chopped that up into like a hundred clips? I'm a little surprised that they cuss on there. Whenever they swear, I always get a little surprised.

I'm like, oh, okay, we're swearing right now. You don't know there's bad boys at Peloton? True. Bad boys ride bad toys. Go follow the hashtag badboysofpelly. Mike has started it. It has a very big following on Peloton. I just didn't know they got down like that.

Well, what I did is I put together a segment that I've been thinking about doing for a long time, but I thought it was going to take a lot of effort. It took a decent amount of effort. But I put together some real or I've been thinking about doing for a long time, but I thought it was going to take a lot of effort. It took a decent amount of effort. But I put together some real or fake Peloton motivational quotes. So this is kind of similar to Vice Headlines. I stole the idea from Dave, and I applied it to a different sector.

I mean, you could not have done a more... a better sector to pivot Vice Headlines to. Can I ask you about your process here? How did you go about obtaining the real ones? Did you have to go through a bunch of videos? I went through a lot of compilation videos.

My original plan was that I was just going to Peloton and take notes in my phone whenever I saw them. But being that Cody has most of the best one-liners, I decided that it would be best if I went through some compilation videos of some of the good moments in Peloton history. Are you guys prepared? Are all their rides available after the fact to watch? What I learned is that some rides

that have certain things happen get taken off, and so you cannot do those rides. I think there was one where somebody's parents showed up in the middle of the ride and had a banner, and you can't do that ride anymore. I don't think they like outside people being in these videos interesting but most of them are on demand is what if that's what you're asking it's vod video on demand very cool dylan doesn't know how that works very similar to vlogging dylan

always calls me he's like where's the video where's the on-demand button on my remote control straight up yeah i don't know It's hard to find. Yeah. I'm ready, dude. I'm so ready. All right, first one. Shake your tits. Body roll. Warm up however you need this afternoon.

Shake your tits? Shake your tits. Okay, obviously I'm very unfamiliar with this community and the things that are said, but I can't imagine someone saying shake your tits are said, but I can't imagine someone saying, shake your tits. But also, I can't imagine you making that up. I can't imagine Will thinking that. Right.

I don't want to imagine Will thinking that. You don't think I like tits shaking? It's real. No, I think you do. I just don't think you're vocal about it. Thank you. That's a real one. I'm going to go real.

It's real. Shake your tits? Shake your tits. Body roll. Warm up however you need this afternoon, Dylan. Was that a male or a female who said that? This was Cody. Cody said that.

Dude, Cody doesn't give a fuck. Damn, Cody's a wild one. He's a savage. He's a wild boy. I don't have tits to... Actually, I kind of do have tits to shake, unfortunately. So when he said that, I was just sitting there like... Oh, no.

So you were shaking your tits? Yeah. I'm trying to get rid of them. How good of a warm-up is that where you shake the tees? Or body roll. What's the body roll? Let me see you body roll! Just roll your body. What do you mean? Roll your body, girl.

I don't know. I can't. Stop. Is it like a foam roller? I'm serious. I don't know. I've never played. Yeah, you have to get off your bike and do a foam roller, David. It's a warm-up. It makes a lot of sense, you dumbass. Idiot. You've never foam rolled?

Not on a bike, I haven't. Your fascia is trash. I'm foam rolling after this today. His fascia is trash. You're not wrong. That's big facts, honestly, yeah. Trash-a. Okay.

You guys want the next one? Yeah. When we play Britney Spears, we fuck shit up. Ooh. I'm going to say fake just because I want to think of you making that up. That's facts, though. Show me the lie. When Britney's playing, you hit another gear that you didn't know you had.

Dude, if it's toxic, I'm going to drive that Pele off a cliff. Kits me busting it if it's toxic. They don't move. I'm going to pedal it so hard. They're stationary bikes, David. It's like the Chris Farley SNL skit where you just pedal it so hard. If your bike is moving while you're doing a Peloton, you're doing it wrong. Yeah.

It's the only put. Well, dude, you never know when toxic hits. It means you actually got on a real bike. Look, I did this wrong. Just taped my iPhone to a bike. Oh, toxic goes, man. That video? Oh, that's fake.

Is that the one where she's the flight attendant? She's several things in that video. She's the flight attendant. Woo-wee! Oh, I love Britney. Don't you know that I'm toxic? Britney introduced me to puberty. Okay.

Oh, I was in love with Britney. Dylan had been in puberty for like 15 years when she hit. Okay, I don't think that's fair. Farrah Fawcett introduced her. Stop. What do you think it is, Dave? I said it's fake just because I want to think of you writing that. It's real.

He says it often. It's actually his trademark line. When we play Britney Spears, we fuck shit up. So he's just a bad boy. He's a bad boy. He talks about titties. Do they ever have to pull him aside like, Yo, Cody, you got to chill, man.

Cody. Well, you want the next one? Getting some complaints. If your glutes aren't coming right now, you need to check your form ASAP. Coming? That's not how that works. I assume that's what potentially.

Glutes can't come. That's what I thought, too. As far as I know. You've never ridden with Cody before. That's true. I ride with Cody because Cody rides with us. Right. Plus, Cody.

Wait, can you say it one more time? If your glutes aren't coming right now, you need to check your form ASAP. Dave, are your glutes coming? That's fake. There's no way someone said that. No one said that. Real. Fake.

Shit. They will say fuck. They will say titties. They will not say coming, I don't think. I think that. Real. Fake. Shit. They will say fuck. They will say titties. They will not say coming, I don't think. I think that's where they draw the line. They do play Uchiwale during rides, though, which I told you. And so if you're willing to play that, I think anything really goes.

Yeah, that wouldn't shock me. Damn it. Stop crying like a baby-backed bitch and get your resistance to 65. Well, that's just aggressive. Like a baby back bitch. Hmm. I feel like that's... I want to say it's fake because I feel like they're not... Are they going to antagonize the riders?

Are they going to just call them names and whatnot? That's real. So there was one that I was watching where a girl apparently had been on her phone. Because before COVID times, they had people in the studio that were doing the ride with them. And there was one that I was watching where a girl apparently had been on her phone because before COVID times they had people in the studio that were doing the ride with them. And there was a girl on her phone and one of the instructors was losing it on the girl telling her to get off of her phone. She was just roasting her.

Good. I loved it. That's rude. It's darn rude. That's a real quote. I think it's real as well. It's fake. Son of a gun. This next one. Sorry, there's several out here. I just don't know where to go from here.

This next one is, my resistance is at a 70 for reference, but I'm a big bitch. But I'm a big bitch. Are you a big bitch, Dylan? Yes. But I'm a big bitch. Are you a big bitch, Dylan? Yes. My resistance is that a 70.

70 is high, right? Yes. 70 is high. I will say this. If you're at 70, you're probably not going to go too much further up. That's a real... They normally don't recommend that you go to 70. What about like one one fewer 69 yeah sometimes if i'm at 69 i usually go up to 70 just because i don't want to be the guy at 69 do they do 69 jokes

i haven't heard any 69 jokes what it seems like too low hanging yeah that's that's below cody Hello, Cody. And ladies. That is a... That is a... That's a fake quote. I said real. It's real. Dave is correct. Son of a gun. Next one. Those wildebeests that trampled Simba's dad?

Yeah, I want that energy from all of you right now. That's a little dark. Yeah, well, that was a sad part of the movie. He was set up. By Scar. The wildebeest, they didn't know what they were doing. I'm rocking with Scar. I knew that was coming. You can't rock with

Scar. What are you doing, dog? Loki got away with it. Until he died. Just a horror. A death by a hyena. A hyena would have been a good one on that chart. Can you think of a Group of animals That go harder

Than the wildebeest Went when they killed Simba's dad They weren't even Trying to go hard It was accidental man They were just Yeah they were just

Trying to get out of there They were just being wildebeest They were chopping They were chopping though They used to call me Wildebeest back in my High school football days Really

Because you were just Cleaning clocks over the middle Dude Do not throw over Receivers did not Want to run slants No Dude They get Yeah Really? Because you were just cleaning clocks over the middle? Dude, do not throw over your hole in people. Receivers did not want to run slants. No. Dude, they get, yeah.

That dude, they see Harbor Springs on the schedule and they just start shaking. That dude right there is a problem. That's a real quote. That's got to be fake. It's fake. God, Dylan's like 0 for a million right now. It's embarrassing. Damn. Here's the next one. That's like 0 for a million right now. It's embarrassing. Damn.

Here's the next one. That's a pretty good fake one, though. You're in the jungle right now. You are running from a drug cartel. You are shooting bitches. Okay. That's definitely real. Why are you shooting bitches? I don't know why you'd be shooting bitches.

Why wouldn't you, David? You are in the jungle right now. You are running from a drug cartel. You are shooting bitches. I don't know why you'd be shooting bitches. Why wouldn't you, David? You are in the jungle right now. You are running from a drug cartel. You are shooting bitches. Look, it's just not that serious. It's like you're on a bike. It's not that serious. Why is the cartel after you?

You're just trying to get your heart rate up. Just exercising. I'm trying to keep your heart rate above 160 for the same amount of time. Why is the cartel after you? Because you ran off with the bag. You ran off on the plug again? Yeah. Twice.

That's real. That's real. If you're on a getaway, you don't want to hop on the bike. Will's not making that up. Yeah, that's real. That's real. Yeah, that's got to be real. I was not a part of that ride.

Whose ride was that? It was Cody. Okay. Cody's the bad boy. Cody's got a sketchy past, I think. Cody, HR wants to talk to you, man. You've got to tone it down, dude. What was that thing about the cartel, Cody?

Cody, we need to talk to you in our office over here. Cody, they're just exercising, dude. Calm down. You don't have to do this. Let's see. I've got two more for us. You guys ready? Mm-hmm.

Okay. If Helen Keller can write five books, you can add five to your resistance. Okay. I don't see the connection there. Why does Helen have to catch the connection there? Does she write five books? Do you want me to look it up? I don't know.

Yeah, Dylan, do you really think any of us know that? Someone's got to know that. Helen Keller bibliography. Let's see how many books she wrote the story of my life in 1903 optimism in 1903 the world I live in 1908 my religion 1927 I was REM actually sounds like she had some posthumous ones released as well it means after death yeah I'm aware of what that means. If Helen Keller can write five books, you can add... Honestly, it's not the worst point. It kind of makes sense.

Writing five books if you're blind and deaf is much more difficult than adding five to your resistance. Facts. That's big facts. Big facts. Let me say this. While Cody has proven me wrong in that he will go there, Cody won't... He's not making Helen Keller references. That's got to be fake.

I'm banking on the fact... There's no way. I'm banking on Cody not knowing that Helen Keller wrote five books. You're saying Cody's not well-read. You don't think he's not... I think Cody's kind of a dumbass. Cody's not learned. He's very smart. Okay. Well, I? I think Cody's kind of a dumbass. Cody's not learned. He's very smart.

Okay, well, I still am going to say fake. Is it because his name's Cody? You don't meet many smart Codys. That's just true. That's not. I'm just kidding. There's got to be a smart one. To all the Cody listeners out there, I think you're smart.

I know one Cody, actually. One Cody. Codeman. The Codester. Step by step, Cody was the guy. It's a good name. Fake. What did Dave say?

I said that's fake. It's fake. It's fake. It's a good one, though. Wait, wait, whoa, whoa. Did you know that Helen Keller wrote five books? I wrote it. I looked it up yesterday.

And then I tried to throw you guys off the scent by playing stupid right now. Didn't work. Let me look it up. Didn't work. I even used the word bibliography. It's good. Shouts to me. This next one's not even a motivational quote.

I'm just going to tell you now it's fake. I just really enjoyed him gassing up this song. Okay. He said, we're going to go from a very gay song to an even more gay song in about 10 seconds. Probably the gayest song you've ever heard, but definitely the gayest song of the 90s. Unfortunately, the video clip cut out before it went to that song, so I didn't find out what song it was.

I want to know what the gayest song of the 90s is. I need to know what it was. If you've taken that ride out there, I want to know what it was, because I want in. Oh, you didn't get to see what... So that was real. That was real.

That was real. What do you think the gayest song of the 90s is? I don't know. I would like to know that. That was my guess because there... Was that 90s? I don't know. It's raining...

I could see it being a Cher song. Hold on. Because he does like playing some Cher during his rides. It's Raining Men is pre-90s. It's Raining Men. Are you sure? Oh, yeah. It's raining...

We know this song is absolutely here, if I'm being honest. Yeah. Wait, and this was Cody? 1982. Code Man. Of course. Cody. I'll be honest.

They were all Cody. I think I might go down a rabbit hole if another instructor just catches on. Cody's tight. Get Cody on the pod. He's too big for us, man. Yeah, dude. You think he is? He's a controversial figure.

What's his last name? Oh, no. He got COVID and had it real bad. He was down bad. He had to cancel a lot of classes because of it. What's Cody's last name? He refuses to get the Vax. Rigsby.

You already asked who his related dude is. Cody Rigsby sounds like a dude from West Texas that got a D2 scholarship. Yeah. And then now he's doing oil and gas services in Lubbock. Yeah, he does big boy numbers on the Grom. How many? Is he hot? I'm assuming he's hot.

7'11". He's in good shape, obviously, David. You're saying he's a butterface? He doesn't have a super hot face. He's a hot dude. He's a hot dude. He's a hot dude. He's a hot dude.

Cody Rigsby? He's not related to Barry Rigby, though. We don't know that. They just don't have the same last name. There's a difference between being related and having the same last name. That's a good point. He does sponsor spots. Chobani.

Should we send this segment to him and ask if he'll promote it and give us a good ad rate? He hashtagged ad on the Chobani post. I fuck with Chobani. Dude. He's got some shoulders on him. Yeah. He's a beast. Look at the one where he's in the pink.

Scroll down. He looks... He's a beast. Look at the one where he's in the pink, scroll down. He looks, he's a beast. He looks very, very wide. Dude, you can't be a Peloton instructor and not be in shape. Great legs, too. Damn. He's our kid. Jealous of his legs.

Well, he does Pelotons, Dave. Of course he's got good legs. I'm rocking with Cody. He's rocking with us. We're aging here right now. I've got to find out what the gayest song is. Me, too. Oh, dude, look at this.

While you keep, oh, that's the Dave pose. Here, while you look up what song it is, Dylan, let's talk about our friends over at Quip real quick. You guys chew gum? Do you guys like the mouth-freshening effects of gum? I certainly do, Will. I think I speak for everybody when I say yes. Big gum guy.

I think Dylan's opening line with girls historically when I saw him out was like, hey, do you want a piece of gum? Are you guys into gum? Mm-hmm. Gum is something people chew as a way to relieve stress, curb appetites, and most importantly, freshen breath.

But many people don't realize that gum can also be an integral part of a healthy oral care routine. It was only a few short years ago that Quip reinvented the toothbrush for the modern age, and they've done it again. They had to do it to them. Look, this ain't your grandma's gum. It's a new gum that's actually good for your oral health and it comes with a dispenser that will remind you of the one click candy that you loved as a kid. I'm a big fan of that.

I love having that thing. Just pop it open. It's better than like if you sometimes have the gum packets, you keep them in your pocket. They're all crinkly with the foil and stuff. It takes your body heat and half melted. You know what I'm talking about. This isn't just mouth. It doesn't just freshen your breath, Dave.

Quip gum can help prevent cavities and freshen breath when chewed for 20 minutes after eating. It's sugar-free and has tooth-friendly xylitol. I think it's xylitol. I think I crushed that. Xylitol. You did. With zero calories. And it can satisfy your taste buds.

Quip added a long-lasting mint flavor, crunchy tri-layer design, and it's stamped with the classic Quip tongue. Three layers. Dude, the tri-layer design is where it separates itself from the other gum. Yeah. There's a lot of differentiators here, but once you get that third layer, it's like, oh, I know where I'm at right now. Changes everything.

Mm-hmm. They even have a slim travel-ready dispenser. It's available in five colors, so if you're trying to get a vibe off, you've got five different vibes you can get off. Ten pieces of gum at a time, and it fits in any purse or pocket on the go. You can even add a gum refill plan as a gift that keeps on giving all year round. Quip's customizable subscription lets you chew and share at your own pace and not worry about running out.

Plus, the more you buy, the more you save with bulk discounts on extra gum packs. It's not a substitute for brushing or flossing, but it is great support for your oral health. So pair it with the Quip electric toothbrush for adults and kids, refillable floss, and more great products. And in addition to the gum, Quip also delivers fresh brush heads, floss, and toothpaste refills every three months from just $5. I love it. Put five on it. Use mine every night. Shipping's free, so you can save money and skip the misery of in-store shopping.

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Quip, the good habits company. We got one last news story. I told you guys it was a loaded episode today. You weren't kidding. This one's kind of tight. 28-year-old woman posed as student and snuck into a high school to promote her Instagram. Is this Cat Pat? Okay.

Oh, come on. Dude, let me be the first to say congratulations to Kate. No, I already did that. Remember? Oh, yeah. Congratulations to Kate, who got engaged this weekend. That's big for Cat Pat. Big ups to Kate.

Also big ups to this woman who, honestly, like've got to respect the hustle here, do you not? She disguised herself as a high school student. She was just handing out cards that said, follow my Instagram or something? She threw a skateboard under the arm. She's carrying a painting for some weird reason? It was just a real grassroots effort to up the grom. Right. Her name is...

What's her name? Do we have a photo? Audrey Nicole Franceschini. It says she was able to sneak her way into the school's front doors by blending in with students, according to her arrest report. Miami-Dade police said that she disguised herself by carrying a book bag and dressing, quote, similar to students, students holding a skateboard and carrying a painting. Okay, the skateboard.

Skateboards are egregious. Here's my question, though. Is the Gromfire? Do we know? That's what we don't know. Let's find out. I did find photos if you put her name into the Google. How is her Instagram not the first thing that comes up?

How's the aesthetic day? Yeah. Does she have, I'm just, I'm looking at a mugshot and she doesn't appear to be taking said mugshot very seriously. Yeah. She's grinning a little too much.

Like, yeah, I just, I just pretended to be a high school kid with a skateboard. Why dude? I don't think kids, there's not that many kids just walking around the high school with a skateboard.

First of all, you weren't allowed to do that at my high school. So her Instagram at the time that it was screenshot on this website that I found has two posts. It's private and it has 1064 followers and she's following only 34 people. Great ratio on odd jewel request to follow. I don't know if her account still exists and I would type it in right now, but her last name is so long that I don't think I'd get it right the first try. And then we'd have dead air and it would just be a bad episode. I'm giving her the follow

if I'm at that high school and she comes up to me. Yeah, I'm rocking with Audrey. Like one of the cool kids. Her profile photo is just her with a little kid. You rocking with her? I would be the type to be like, look, I know you don't go to school here. I know you're significantly older than everybody here, but I'm going to follow you because I respect what you're doing.

I respect this hustle yeah didn't you do this recently trying to promote your tiktok at parks's school like dude you're not an elementary school they didn't have phones it was a waste of my time they're like sir you have you have a beard like i don't think you can do that dude you're older man yeah come on parks doesn't have a phone i was like no i just have fifth grade i failed a couple of years. I got Fritz an iPhone 12 Max. Really? Mm-hmm. Sheesh.

I hit him with that new purple case that they've been promoting. No, Parks has a phone. Didn't you get him a Primco? Yeah, it was switched from the Motorola. That's right. Oh, man. You know, like the song. Bag alert, major bag alert.

That one? That's a different song. Yeah, different one. So this might have worked because now she has a – so her bio says protect our children, queens supporting queens. Okay. Okay. With a handshake emoji and a queen emoji.

Rocking with that. It says do it for the kids. Then it says donate below. I don't know what we're donating to, but I'm really hoping it doesn't have to do with her arrest. Is she also partnering with LLS? She has gained about 2,500 followers since. See, it's working.

Here's the deal. This shit's working. She's in the wrong era, because if this had been like 10 years ago, she'd have a reality show. Like she would be on like E! next week and be like, the crazy life of Audrey. And it's like, oh.

That's how she would sound. Say what you want about her plan here, but if it's working, it's working. We're talking about her. The fun that she is promoting is it's trying to help campaign for better security in schools as well as to help provide a helping hand in outreach to children in less fortunate

communities. It's infiltrating a school to promote the security at school? Maybe that's part of the whole thing here. Like, look how easy I got into school. She's raising awareness. Let's fix this. Is her brain so big that she figured this out? She's raising awareness by actually sneaking into the school?

It's like that movie where that woman sacrificed her life to help. What was it? I'm glad it made an impression on you. Hold on, hold on. It was for the death... It was against the death penalty. She framed herself for a crime. I don't remember.

There's something out there. It's a Kevin Spacey movie. You killed this. Sir, we don't do Kevin Spacey movies. Yeah, we don't stan Kevin Spacey, Dylan. Someone out there knows what I'm talking about. Put that next to the salad story. Great story, man.

Has Kevin gotten the nickname Horny Spacey yet? No, I don't think he's going to get that either. We're not rocking with Kevin. No, to be clear. Kevin does not rock with us. Isn't Casey Musgraves, didn't she do Spacey Casey now? Yeah, she has been for a minute. What if we found out that Kevin Spacey was a big backer?

You can't really embrace that. We're not rocking with Kevin. But during his downtime, he just got really in the niche, small to medium-sized podcast. Whoa, and listen to this. He's not going to be a backer anymore because we're just dogging him. Yeah, you couldn't even remember the name of the movie. I'm not even sure you got the plot right.

I don't even know what movie it was. It didn't sound right. She's... Yeah. Is it Erin Brockovich? No, no, no. It's not. I know.

Dude, you killed this. Okay, Dylan. I'm going to figure it out, man. Is it The Life of David Gale? How about you sit out... The Life of David Gale. You sit out... By the way...

Brett's Breaking News. Dude, it's super popular. A scene from that movie... It's got 19% on Rotten Tomatoes. A scene from that movie was filmed on Lake Austin, at a house on Lake Austin. Were you in that movie, too? No, I wasn't in that movie. 19% on Rotten Tomatoes, Dylan.

Are you happy that you know all about this movie? What's the guy's name? David Kale? The life of David Gale. David Gale. David Bayleaf. There we go. No, different.

Fallback. Oh, we got Brad here, yeah. Why don't you sit out and you found the movie. Is Dylan all set with this episode today? We are. I'm on fire. Oh, cool. Dylan's torch.

Dylan's on fire. We'll let the audience decide that. Let's go. Happy for being here on a Monday, guys. We're excited. No one's excited about Monday. You didn't get in on a flight at 2. Happy for being here on a Monday, guys. We're excited. No one's excited about Monday. You didn't get in on a flight at 2.30 a.m. last night, which is a big plus for everybody. Huge.

Huge for this week. Huge for the squad. Got a couple of I.O.s in the inbox as we speak. I.O. Undelay, mama. I.O. I.O. Uh-oh.

Let's go, Brett. Yeah. Let's fucking go. On a Monday morning. What do you want me to do with that? I don't know. Anyway, here's breaking news. Choose your adventure, Dylan.

Why not? Do you want to go Taco Bell M&A? That's mergers and acquisitions. The Taco Bell is just about a personal anecdote. Yeah, it's just a personal anecdote. You thought it was MMA, didn't you? I was hoping. Let's do mergers and acts.

I know what a TKO is. Let's go mergers and acts. That's not what it is. Mergers and acts. You guys know AT&T? Never heard of it. Fucking hate it. The behemoth.

They're spinning off their media division. They bought for $85 billion a couple years ago. It didn't go so well. So they're spinning off Warner Media in a merger with Discovery Inc., Dylan. They buy us? Not yet, no. We're still on the market. I'm trying to merge and acquire.

Somebody needs to buy us for a lot of money. Talking like $100 million. We need to get bear hugged. $100 mil? Would that do it? Would that get the job done? Yeah. Spotify came to us with $100.

You'd be like, all right, sure. No negotiation. Yeah. I would do it for Nerf guns from Dude Perfect. Any word, Randy? Anyway, so basically this new media company is going to be the third largest media company on the planet just from spinning off from AT&T and Discovery.

That's pretty big, man. Exciting, yeah. HBO, Warner Brothers, CNN. Sounds like Succession, right? That's a crazy family. So here's what I wanted to include. This guy, Mr. Zaslav, is the executive at Discovery who helped make this happen. And literally, it's like succession.

He was talking to this guy, Mr. Sankey. These are my successions. He hit the Sankey leg. He did. He hit the Sankey leg. He hit the Sankey leg. The deal came together very quickly after they were expected to meet at Pebble Beach Pro-Am. TFL?

Naturally. Wait, so they were just going to smoke meats at the Pro-Am? Yeah, but they couldn't because of the pandemic. So he sent an email to Mr. Stanky to discuss a possible deal. He added emojis at the end with several golf emojis and one smiley face with the sunglasses. That's how this deal started coming together. Love that. Wow.

Love that. Emojis are not frat. Randy. Go get the fucking intern, bro. Intern's here. Oh, hell yeah. Let's ride. No, don't.

No, he's just being polite. He's just a little scared to come in. Yeah, Randy. This is his first day. He's rocking with us. We're rocking with him. Anyway, it's literally like succession. They were having secret meetings at this brownstone, he says, in the Upper East Side.

That's sick. That sounds like a place I'll never go. That's sick, dude. That's cool. There's some bars and stuff. Yeah, you wouldn't be allowed in there. Oh, it's a neighborhood? Yeah.

Oh, okay. You roll up with your backwards cap and your mustache, like, nah. I think your mustache would come in respect from these guys. You're probably right. If you put respect from these guys you're probably right if you put it like that you're right if we're doing like who's a

like what New York City neighborhood are you Willsbrooklyn obviously Dylan you're like kind of Soho little Soho guy maybe Greenwich

Greenwich is one of my sorry I was aggressive Dave's like Dave's like a Hoboken guy I don Dave's like Dave's like a Hoboken guy I don't know the neighborhoods Dave's a Hoboken guy What's Hoboken? They call you Long Island

Not a main Have you ever heard of Long Island iced tea? Or like multiple You're saying it's heavy? Have I ever heard of Long Island iced tea? Yeah I've had a couple

Yeah It's not just a New York thing Brett Dude those things Will knock you on your ass Yeah cause it's all liquor Hey I'm hoping So the intern's talking to KJ.

I'm hoping he thinks KJ's also an intern. I hope. It's your first day, too. Super confused. Well, you want to hear about these cicadas? Not really. I really, truly hate cicadas, man. Every year.

Cicadas always are creepy. Okay. This year, it's the red-eyed brood X. It's coming to roost. Laser eyes? It's coming to roost. Yeah, Dylan. 17 years they've been in the ground.

Now they're making an appearance from New York down south to, I think it's Georgia. What do you mean by 17 years they've been in the ground? They, like, hibernate for 17 years. For 17 years. Yeah. And they do the undertaker.gif. Are you shitting me? Why?

Why so long? I don't know. That's too long. Somebody meme the under. Why Why? Why so long? I don't know. That's too long. Somebody meme the under. Why are you mad about that? That's too long. Why are you so angry about their cadence in life, dog? You've got to eat and shit.

It's a cadence. It's a cadence. Thank you. You've got to eat. No, they hibernate. These guys. They're absorbing nutrients through the soil. Is that facts?

I don't know. They're alive underground. They live on tree sap. And then once the ground temperature hits 64 degrees, they go and eat every leaf in sight from New York. Even bay leaves? That's a wild – They can't eat a bay leaf. That's where they draw the line.

It's like, dude, what is this? I haven't eaten in 17 years. Nah, I'm not eating that. Yeah, get this out of my chicken noodle soup. This bay leaf sucks. Here's the problem. When they come out of the ground, they're really horny and really hungry. So what they do –

Sounds like Dave waking up, man. God, come on. Everyone knows that this is a joke that should be directed at you. That's why I had to get up in front of it. You really got- Yeah, I got to applaud that. You're quick on that. So when they want to mate, the millions upon millions-

Potentially billions of these things. That's not how they talk. They make a sound that's 100 decibels. Like they're mating noise together. Is that loud? That's louder than a jet airplane going overhead.

What? Yeah, I don't like cicadas, man. I know they're pretty harmless. Oh my God. I know they're pretty harmless, but I don't like them around. Yeah, it feels like they're up to something.

We had a summer in Michigan where they were everywhere and it was just weird. If you turned on your car, you had to brush them off with the windshield wipers. The shell. The shell of it creeps me out.

Good source of protein, though, if you're in a pinch. The shell? Get out of here. You can't eat them. They're making cicada cookies. You can get cool and eat cicada cookies, Brett. Cricket protein powder is really good. Peanut butter cookies, dude.

It's more bioavailable. We're going to fight over these peanut butter cookies, man. They're dry as fuck. I don't like dry cookies. Yeah, whoever's making yours. Whoever memes the face of a cicada onto The Undertaker in the setup, Jeff, I will Venmo. The first person to get it to me, I will pay for your next month of Patreon.

That's $10 value. Does Randy count? No. He's a head start. Oh, $10 value. Does Randy count? No. He's a head start. Does Randy even work here? Are you going to walk out and be like, hey, intern, I got your first job. Can you put a cicada face in there?

Wow, this is going to be a great intern. We didn't tell KJ he was going to do onboarding for us. The last thing I have here, I went to Taco Bell, Dave. I can tell. Which it was a pretty – I didn't realize it was going to be as much play on the TL as it did. People are engaged when it comes to Taco Bell. You and Pete Blackburn. Pete, yeah.

I'm glad Pete gave me credit because he texted me saying, I'm going to Taco Bell because you – I didn't know he was going to get on the TL, but I'm glad he threw my ad out there. Thank you, Pete. What's up? I just want to address the fact that the Cheesy Gordita Crunch sucks. No, no, no. I said this in the group

text yesterday. I'm not saying you have to have the Cheesy Gordita Crunch atop your list, but I don't think it deserves slander. It's not a bad item on the menu. I don't even know if I've had one. They're amazing. They're really good. I wish it was better, Will.

I've heard you're supposed to get the Dorito Loco Taco. I didn't want to do that. I'm a big double-decker taco guy. I think that you would like a Cheese Gordita Crunch just based on that you like double-decker tacos because it's kind of a subpar version of the double-decker. Did you get a double-decker? No, I got a Crunchwrap Supreme, which I could see myself getting again.

That was serviceable, at least. I'm not going to chime in here because you know I'm a bueno guy. Taco. Did you get a party taco? Is it like a secret menu? Yeah, taco bueno. Wasn't a big fan of their sauce either. People were saying, get the sauces are bomb.

The fire is bomb, dog. Your dad literally said the sauces were bomb. I'm like, Dad, what are you getting Taco Bell and what is that? The only sauce that I don't like there isn't one of their salsas. It's the fajita sauce, I think it's called. No, it's called the Fiesta sauce.

It ruins everything. Maybe that's what I had because I was like, ooh, adamantly... You gotta get fire. I have to get the cheese and grittied crunch without the Fiesta sauce or else I I was like, ooh, like adamantly. You got to get fire. That's good. I have to get the cheese and green tea crunch without the Fiesta sauce or else I don't like cheese and green tea crunch. Maybe that's what it is. This is how long it's been.

I've never even heard of Fiesta sauce. I haven't either. It's like fire and mild and whatever the other ones are. Yeah. I don't know what it was. Anyway, I'll do it again. I'm happy with what happened. You kind of made me crave it a little bit.

Me too. Me too. It's a drunk, like, what's open. Sometimes. We got it. You gotta live Moss. After a visit to Deep Eddy. We used to have the sound effect on there. It's so good. Which was also a great place. Shouts to Alberto. Backer Alberto.

We're going to be friends now. He came up and he was like, hey. You can call me Al. Shout out to Al. He came up and he was like, hey. You can call me Al. Nice. Great song. He came up. He was like, hey, you want people in the mid-20s to hang out with instead of the dads? I was like, yeah.

You made a friend. I did. That's cute, man. I did. We got to go on board. Yeah. Let's get out of here. Are we getting on board?

Thank you, Brett. Hey, Brett. That was fun. That breaking news was delightful. I'm glad we had fun. Go to patreon.com slash circlingbackpodcast. We're doing Worst Of tomorrow. There's still time to get your stories in.

Email worstof at washedmedia.com or head over to washedmedia.com and check out the Worst Of section of the site. There's a little form there. You can fill it out. We've got a few stories in the hopper. Would always like to have more. Oh. Make it happen.

Outside of that, I don't have anything else. Dylan, can you lead us out, please? Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Bye. Bye.