Circling Back - Gassing Domestics with Jason Kelce and the Party Gecko

Episode Date: January 22, 2024

Podcast Week? Podcast Week. Detroit Lions Will enters the chat, Jason Kelce may take over the world, righting some content wrongs from last week, a vegetarian-unfriendly Steam Room segment, the twerking contest that went all wrong, and more. Enjoy a free one-week trial on Patreon for additional weekly episodes: www.patreon.com/circlingbackpodcast Watch all of our full episodes on our new YouTube channel: www.youtube.com/circlingback  Shop Washed Merch: www.washedmedia.shop  (0:00) Fun & Easy Banter (16:00) Recapping This Weekend in Fun (28:45) Jason Kelce’s World That We’re Living In (41:00) Twink and a Redhead Mea Culpa (48:00) Google Tracks You in Incognito Mode (1:00:00) Steam Room: Vegetarian Options at Restaurants (1:07:30) Twerk Contests Gone Wrong Support This Episode’s Sponsors Squarespace: www.squarespace.com/steam (STEAM for 10% off your purchase of a website or domain) PrizePicks: www.prizepicks.com/steam (use code steam for a first deposit match up to $100!) Nutrafol: www.nutrafol.com/men (CIRCLING for $15 off) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

all right we're back circling back podcast coming to you live from the wash media headquarters in austin texas my name is will defries to my left david ruff man i uh almost don't look i almost uh watched a a death video that was served up to me on twitter of uh like some ceo falling to his death at a tech conference or something i saw it okay no you saw it dude involuntarily mr mr live leak over here definitely saw it i'm fucking elon gave it served it up to blake live leak over there uh so speaking of elon dylan i was like i need a palate cleanser i almost like just got got on twitter so i went to the daily star and here's a good one it says space x xx i want to bonk elon musk in space it's a lifelong long dream and he'd be great in bed this is what this young lady says it's made

the front page of the daily star she wants to bonk him in space i don't know elon personally but i don't get great in bed vibes from the man why not is it because he's just uh because he's a major league dork mostly yeah you don't think he freaks with the best of them he could i just don't i don't get that do you think he bonks he probably bonks a little bit so wait are we using bonk in that way now like i thought bonk is what you did to like a dylan online who's like you know okay mr horny himself i've seen your tweets i follow you my man's Mr. Horny himself. I've seen your tweets. I follow you, my mans.

Sometimes. Dylan Chivry, ladies and gentlemen. I see what he was doing there. I saw the person you're referencing interact with a Marjorie Taylor Greene tweet earlier, but then realized it was a parody account. So I was like, oh. Is that better or worse? Better. I feel like Marjorie taylor green's

taking a little step back as of late she's not as as in the uh in the news cycle as she was at one point lauren bobear really asserted her dominance when she jerked that guy off in beetlejuice she's like no you want to be the trashiest person in the government right now no i got that i got that. I got this. Yeah. I got this. Hey, Don, I got to call him for you. I give blokes bruises when I sleep with them. Four men have been hurt by my sex skills.

Oh, my God. Get off the Daily Star, David. Maybe relax. You're going to get our company Wi-Fi flag, dude. The blokes are getting bruises. She seems proud of it. She's beating the shit out of them. These poor blokes.

Here comes the bloke bruise off. You're a bloke. Yeah, yeah. I'm a bloke, bitch. What are you going to do about it? Nothing, really. I just wanted to point it out. That's right.

You're a bloke boy, dude. That's right. Go bloke, go woke. Go broke. Bonk. Dylan Chivry. Hey, man. All right.

Cool. Great energy. Great energy. Hey hey happy content we celebrate major spilled coffee on myself before work today energy from dylan chivery right now coffee getting out like reaching and get out of the car i reached for my coffee and i thought the the little thing was shut you know the little slider lid lid thing whatever you call it. It wasn't. Dude, we kind of had spillception this morning because I was getting out of my car to go in the office today. And I had my Yeti with the top on it and the thing was open. And when I got out, some of the coffee splashed out and landed directly on the lid. And I thought to myself, whoa, close call. That could have been a rough Monday. Bing bong. And then you walk in and I was like, oh man, he got the smoke.

You know what low key one of my least favorite things in this world is? Is having to carry a lot of stuff from the car to inside. I fucking hate it. Yeah. It gets me, man. That's definitely on the list. For me, it's just like unnecessary death and war. Yeah, mine's war and poverty.

For me, it's having to carry a lot of things inside. Mine's child hunger. People know what I'm talking about. It's such a pain in the ass. Have you seen the HEB Victor Wambayama commercial where he does it all in one trip with his long ass arms? He's just got like four bags on each arm. But that's a good idea. It's a pretty good commercial. It's a good idea. We had some ice on our walkway the other day when an HEB delivery was going down. And I walked to the end of it so I could help the guy. And he was like, he's like, can you do this all in one? I one i was like bro i'm not walking back in with these bags i'm standing right

here and you can load me up yeah i'm not doing it one so quit asking one car trip for me now for like from like groceries i gotta get on an elevator yeah i'm not doing two trips fuck that no player i'd rather just leave the shit behind Do you have any carts or anything that they have in the lobby there? No, they don't. Oh, our last place had a shopping cart in the parking garage, so you could just load everything up in that shopping cart and bring it upstairs. That's really convenient. Oh, dude, for stacking firewood and everything?

Yeah. It was just primo. We don't have that. It's just my arm. You should steal a shopping cart and then just bring it. You could just store one in your place i'm sure parks would like riding around in it you could push me around the target parking lot we could you know hit curbs and stuff yeah line and videotape it for sure dude bushes yeah

i got my dad's camera he'll just go borrow it for a little bit my phone actually has a camera on it already yeah i mean that's different okay there's probably some people out there being like why is will off today what's going on like is he there being like, why is Will off today? What's going on? Like, is he all right? Like, the line's just one. He should be on cloud nine right now.

And I just want to confirm some of the rumors out there that, yeah, I do have a very severe under-the-surface pimple on my forehead right now that's just, like, causing all the pain

in the world. And so just know that I'm fighting through it, dude. You can see how deep that thing goes, dude. It doesn't look deep, but I can see the red. I think it's connected to my brain. It looks deep. I think it's connected to my brain, dude. You can see how deep that thing goes, dude. It doesn't look deep. I think it's connected to my brain. It looks deep.

I think it's connected to my brain, dude. Deep and painful. I don't know what to do about it. Yeah, dude. I've been pushing on it all morning. You should get on Accutane. I did Accutane, David. You should run it back.

Remember when I did it for my scalp issue? Oh, fuck you did. Yeah. I did a super low dose, so I didn't get depressed. I was already depressed. So the Accutane wasn't really going to do much. Yeah. You know male friendship after 35 is declining at a rapid rate. Dude, tell me about that.

I can't hang out with you on the weekends anymore. We're changing that for all our listeners out there and your friends. No, you're embracing it. No, we're not. What are you talking about? I'm talking about – You don't want to hang out with me? Oh, oh dude we invited you to a touch of trade concert a couple weeks ago and you just didn't want to go you don't want to vibe with the boys and drink tall

boy yinglings listen to some fucking grateful dead two of the tall boy yinglings tall boy oh yeah if i had known that i would have been but it's concert price tall boy yinglings so it's fine sixteen dollars eleven dollars two of the four people at that show that went with us did not listen to the music uh outside of that concert what the fuck you're right yeah just i'm not a big concert guy that's fun it's the thing about me that y'all should know that's fine dude i won't invite you to concerts anymore unless it's bob weir well yeah dude we're everywhere i don't miss a weird this was like bob weir i know just wasn't him but it wasn't if you squinted hard enough you could how hard did that rain hit all last night i

woke up like a million times through the night just being like damn i'm cozy as hell right now this is one of those mornings you just don't want to get out of bed we haven't had an i don't remember the last time we had a night where it rained literally all night like last night awesome awesome cozy vibes do we have a sound machine on right now like low-key do you ever ask if you have an echo in your room you ever ask alexa just to play like rain sounds for you you couldn't pay me to put an a in my room. Oh, I got one, and it's great. So play whatever, man. Alyssa doesn't let me play Sega in the bedroom. You'll play Sega in your bedroom.

Echo the Dolphin was the joke there. Yeah. Sega! Sega! Sega! Sega! Sega! That was the best one.

Sega! That was the best one. Sega! That was the only cool part about Sega. The gaming system sucked. Dude, we were going down memory lane the other day in the bullpen, and I played the beginning of the PS2 when you fire that thing up. What a beautiful sound. We're just nerds. I was just sitting there watching gameplay from ps2 games just to feel

alive again watching ssx videos men will literally do that instead of going to therapy i hate to say it but like it's borderline kind of therapeutic to just sit there and watch old video games that used to love i was kind of sick on the sticks when it came to ssx i feel like everyone was though i feel like it made it pretty easy to get high scores okay thanks for shitting all over me i'm just saying like i was surprised when i fired up SSX for the first time. Not tricky, the normal one. And it was just like, oh, it's pretty easy to stick landings here.

Yeah, it's tricky. It's tricky, man. You had fun. What if you were in therapy and you just showed up one day with your console and you're like, do you mind if I play this while we talk? It kind of helps soothe me.

You just tell your therapist how good he used to be at the game like you're not even playing it you're just watching other people play well Sally Sally respects my video game playing but like I did have to tell her one time like yeah part of the reason I like playing FIFA is because I allows me to not think about anything else like it truly resets my brain for an hour just the blokes i am so different at fc24 on ps5 if any listeners want the smoke please at me on uh pints with the lads i'm just i'm just running train on on online right now jeez what that's graphic i'm beating dudes like seven two get in the lobby dude step up the competition dog i tried to drop in the other night but

but what i got derailed by kid stuff yeah we needed you i sent out the batman text with a fortnight in the clouds the choppa was going to it's gonna happen i think it'll happen this week should we get into it i mean we started 10 minutes should we get into it okay you want to let's i think we should get into it dude let's let dylan have another stab at that introduction yeah dylan chivery ladies and gentlemen guys i'm happy to be here man it's content week let's get some shit going i don't i don't like overly positive that was worse dude i had okay you gotta find your voice i had an an egg everything bagel from across the way out round uh across streetway holy shit that thing was good i don't know the difference between a normal bagel from across the way, out round across the streetway.

Holy shit, that thing was good. I don't know the difference between a normal bagel and an egg bagel. They make it with yolk. Okay. Egg yolk. So it's got a little yellow tint to it. Okay. And it softens up.

It's softer. Why'd you put a little stank on the word yolk? You can't use stank. That's my word. You did stank up yolk. Like you were a hot dog salesman in New York. All I'm saying is, you'll get one with plain cream cheese.

It'll rock your shit like it rocked mine. Plain cream cheese? They have such a good schmear game. How are you going plain on them? Because the bagel has so much flavor already. You don't need to add to it, Will. No, see, I'm a savage. You know I'm an onion boy.

If I'm getting an everything bagel, you best believe I'm getting some chive cream cheese on there. Plain cream cheese is delish. Shmear me. I don't like the word shmear. Why not? What does it make you think of specifically?

Well, like, smear is a word. Remember Pat Shmear? Pat Shmear? He was a guitar player. He played some shows with Nirvana toward the end there. I don't know. I'm unfamiliar with this game.

And the Foo Fighters, I believe? The Foo Fighters. Pull them up, Randy. It makes me think of the now canceled football game that you'd play on recess when it was cold outside. Schmier the Smear? Shocking how acceptable it was to tell the teachers that you were going to go out and play that game you just you don't can't do that anymore yeah i'm pretty sure that parks doesn't

know that that game is because they don't they don't use that phrase anymore i can't believe they even let us play that it's terrible it was just if you had the ball you're getting hit i don't think we we told the teacher what it was called the teacher's definitely new i don't know northern northern mich Michigan school system's a little different. Yeah. I found Pat Smear. What's he do? He's no longer with the Foo Fighters.

That's probably for the best. He's 64, though. I mean, I don't know how that plays into it. It's his age. Yeah. Age ain't nothing but a number, dude. One year away. Retirement.

Retirement. Traditional retirement age. not these days not with uh retirement inflation right we got robax wilmont's polos still available backer 20 for 20 off your order there go make that happen uh also on patreon we're doing a free seven day trial for new patrons out there so you can't not sign up right now. You'd be crazy not to. We're featuring exactly five minutes and touching based. We even do, at the end of the month, we're doing Randy's game show. Go check that out. Voicemails 888-618-4422. Get in, get out, be tactical. Put out some absolute gas in the newsletter scene the other day. Washed.substack.com. Go subscribe.

the other day. Washed.substack.com. Go subscribe. And finally, youtube.com slash circling back. Watch our episodes right there. But finally,

we also have another circling back centric product dropping later this week. So keep an eye out. That was high pitch, man. Yeah, I removed my testicles

so I can get a higher pitch on my singing these days you just sucked them in yeah yeah i went in for a vasectomy and then they just removed my balls and i was like i think something was lost in translation here but at least i could hit that falsetto what's the sound of your balls getting sucked up inside you stop that's it stop dude it's a little anatomy lesson for people who don't realize that guys can do that we're met in stem dude voluntary you can make those things you're doing right now dylan there you go oh that's fucking bye-bye try it dude i was gonna say

oh did you do the thing where you where you flick your cheek and you make the cool that that's good that's good that's good i can't do it so i actually was trying to after you did it recently i started trying to do it and i did it one time really well and i i kind of understood the process but i can't do it live it's not going to translate that's good what was that sound that was a windows sound like if you had windows 95 yeah i think you could you could edit it you could they had a they had a drop sound for aol instant messenger that could be a new notification that's what it was and dylan does it pretty much perfectly my mouth does crazy things y'all you need to relax get some stank on that thing all

right let's recap this weekend and fun presented by our friends over at neutrophil you don't have to choose between hair growth and our health neut Nutrafol's drug-free whole body approach promotes hair growth from within. No compromises, just better hair. And you know we love good hair around here. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist-recommended hair growth supplement brand with over 1 million people seeing thicker, stronger, faster-growing hair with less shedding. Their hair growth supplements are physician-formulated using 100% drug-free ingredients. Their patented technology provides consistent and reliable results without compromising your sex life.

While many supplements rely solely on ingredient studies, Nutrafol clinically tests final formulations to ensure their efficacy. In a clinical study, 84% of men showed improvement in their hair after six months taking Nutrafol's men's hair growth supplements. You can even just take their hair wellness quiz on Nutrafol.com slash men for a personalized health plan based on your specific root causes. And with Nutrafol, building hair growth routines, it's just simple. Purchase online, no prescription or doctor visit required, free shipping and automated deliveries ensure you'll never miss a day and you can see results in three to six months. Take a step to visibly thicker, healthier hair. For a limited time, Nutrafol is offering our listeners $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping when you go to Nutrafol.com slash men and enter promo code circling. Find out why over 4,500 healthcare professionals and hairstylists recommend Nutrafol for healthier hair. Nutrafol.com slash men spelled Spelled N-U-T-R-A-F-O-L.com slash men.

And enter promo code circling. That's Nutrafol.com slash men. Promo code circling. Dylan, what'd you get into this weekend? Thanks for asking, man. Big Parks weekend. Which ones? Zilker.

Just one. Reed. Just my son. son yellowstone my son and my partner uh we we chilled man we uh we went to what what do we do friday night we went to a uh where do we go you're asking us we don't know man yo dude i'm gonna be honest with you i wasn't with you so i don't know dog you just say actually actually i hate to say what i'm about to say but i actually you went to david buster's yeah i went on wasn't with you, so I don't know, dog. We do this segment every Monday. Actually, I hate to say what I'm about to say, but you went to Dave & Buster's. We went to Dave & Buster's, yeah. I went on Find Friends, and I was like, I don't know what the squad's doing tonight. I go over, and I'm like,

why is Dylan at this giant warehouse in the middle of nowhere? And then there was a beer little icon over it, and I was like, what is he doing? Yeah, we went to Dave & Buster's. His buddies went, and they invited us. And so I got to hang out with parents. I had a few frosty boys and played some games he cleaned up on the tickets man what's the draft game like at dave and buster's

they got yingling up in there or what they didn't have yingling come on i drank shiner on tap with big like 22 ounce you like shiner i like it enough okay yeah i'm not opposed to shiner but i thought it would taste better based on how many people down here love it. So I had a conversation yesterday about Dave & Buster's with a group text. We used to, high school buddies used to go, we used to do it like that in our 20s. Sometimes we'd go to Dave & Buster's. Apparently now some Dave & Buster's,

they don't have the, it's just kid games. Is that the South Austin one? Or is there still like adult-ish games? Adult-ish being more like you know there are games that shoot them on like they're fine oh find the difference and it's like the porn star one you ever seen that they used to have i think they still have that at deep eddie dude they had one they had one at a restaurant in northern michigan that was very kid friendly and it was like guys i don't know if we should have this in here and they have like bush like they're the pictures from oh

yeah like the 80s that's why it's entertaining because the pictures were all so old um yeah they have some some games that adults play yeah by the way you can't get out of there and without spending like at least 150 bucks money pit dude oh my god she yeah but did you at least get like a industrial sized stuffed animal out of it or anything no he got a bunch of little a little little toys and things. I got him $60 worth of tickets, whatever, to play with. And he ran out of it in like an hour and a half. D-Bucks? So I gave him mine. Mine had $20.

I was like, all right, you're not going to spend any more than this, buddy. I'm sorry. Are they called D-Bucks? No. Just doing Fortnite references for the boys. Sick. That's good. This one's for the boys?

Saturday, he hung out with a buddy. They went to go uh play somewhere and i got to run some errands and work out and we watched football the rest of the day and it was it was good man it was a nice it was a nice low-key weekend that's it you feeling relaxed yeah i didn't sleep particularly well last night why it was we had a we had i know mother nature sound machine just lulling us away one of those things, man. But I'm here and I'm happy to be here. Dave, how about you, man? Did you take some Adderall or something?

I wish, no. Okay. I didn't either for that matter. Um, you know, I, I didn't really do anything outside of, uh, watching a football. I went to dinner at the Carve Grill. Central location or south location? South location. Swag. I've been to the central one.

Went to south, the Ridge. Was Brooke there? Yeah, she was. There was a second where I thought I should take a pic of her and send it to the group. And then I was like, you know what? It's bad enough I'm here alone.

No, you don't need to feel bad about going alone. But if you're there alone taking photos of waitresses, that's when you feel bad. You told her the original DMS was good? No, again, I didn't speak with her. I didn't interact with her. I talked to one bartender. We exchanged some recommendations in South Austin.

Other than that, had a couple Woodfords. Sat at the bar. Sat at the bar. Damn. Filet Caesar salad. I don't know. I saw on twitter i saw i saw big rock trending on twitter and i was like they must be at carve right now

they're calling me big rock why oh because you got the big rock in your glass yeah yeah i pivoted on those i like them i used to be very against them you like the the cube or the sphere i used to be against the big sphere i'm'm a sphere boy. But now I've realized the value of the sphere. You know, the thing about them is they melt slowly. It's so swagless to have the little sailboat-looking ice cubes in your whiskey. It's just not cool. You know what I'm talking about? I for sure know what you're talking about.

You know what I'm talking about? The stock ice machine in your home. Oh, those. Yeah, that's swagless. you're talking about. You know what I'm talking about? Like the stock like ice machine in your home. Oh, those. Yeah, that's swagless. They're swagless. Well, that's a home thing. I know. Do you have the things at your house to form the big boys?

No, I'll be honest. I was so against them at one point that I've been gifted it like twice. And both times I was like, I'm just going to give this away. I don't need this. Let me get one. No, now I want it because I'm into it. You know what though? You're missing with like the traditional ice.

No, now I want it because I'm into it. You know what, though? You're missing with the traditional ice. Just a classic drunk guy drinking whiskey or scotch at the bar. The old, when you kind of clink it around and those ice cubes sliding back and forth. It hits way different when it's just like a cube or a sphere. Yeah. You can't do it.

Like you're waving down the bartender. Do you ever wonder if you're not getting as big of a pour because of the giant-ass cube in there though yeah absolutely it's like hold on absolutely it's taking up a lot of real estate in this glass right now you're probably wondering why did you go to the bar by yourself well my my mother-in-law was in town and uh she was staying with us and she and my wife did a late a big late lunch at the uh picnic uh up around uh 35th way and um not good picnic weather they just weren't really in like they're like well you know just go do what you want for dinner and i'm like all right i'll go i'll go do the thing that no one's doing that's eating that uh caesar salad that's for two people eating the entire thing themselves which i did damn so that's alpha shit dude uh saturday you're a dog saturday just not much i didn't know you had

it like that sunday night true detective season four wrote me on i don't know but i'm on i'm through two episodes as it's uh not a binge show baby boy approval let me tell you it is good but um my brain has been wired in such a way to where i'm used to uh binging shows something i famously can't stop doing so having to remember who characters are and plot lines um you know with the week in between is tough it's tough that means i'm getting dumber i am classic dumb guy makes sense if we all were yeah just a bunch of dumb dumbs we're the dumb boys it's a real dumb zone in here

some would say the studio yeah that makes sense and that's all my heart bleeds for western New York I'm happy for my Lions, though. Dude, shout out to the Detroit Lions.

I'd like to say thank you to Dan Campbell. I'd like to say thank you to the owners. I'd like to say thank you to all the players. I don't care what happens in this season. I would love to go to the Super Bowl. Just making it to a Super Bowl would be a surreal time, and it's a Lions fan. But for the first time in my life,

I can actually say that the Lions have brought me joy. I got a little teary-eyed yesterday when they were interviewing all the old-school Lions fans who'd just been going through it. Oh, well. It's just a beautiful thing. I haven't got... This team I have not gotten overly attached to in any way.

I'm not obsessed with any of the players individually, but just like seeing how, like seeing the vibe shift within Ford Field is just such a beautiful thing to see after just getting beaten down so many times, after watching so many blackouts, after not watching so many blackouts, after so many like times where it was just empty in there, it's just so nice to actually see it absolutely bussing down there. I love my Detroit Lions. I'm happy for you guys. I love them. I love this team.

It's definitely bussing. It's been a minute. I love Dan Campbell so much. What celebs were there? All of them, dude. Seager got them. He got a lot of press last night. He'll bite your calf off.

Was Big Sean there? Kneecaps. People were asking about Big Sean. I think Big Sean was there, yeah. He's huge. Eminem actually, he doesn't really show much emotion in life, but when he's at a Lions game

and they put him on the screen, he turns up. And I respect that. Yeah. Not really listening to his music that much anymore, but you know, not hitting play on Marshall Mathers LP. Ooh.

But I took the early flight home so we could make sure we could see the Lions game and see the Lions game we did. But I was in Nashville for the weekend. Had a wedding. Had Sally's cousin's wedding. Beautiful ceremony. Everyone was having a good time.

Nashville is not the city you want it to be when it's five degrees outside. It's kind of a city you want to run wild in. Get a little crazy in. Fun city, man. When it's cold there, not much is happening. And that's fine it was a low-key trip to nashville um we did have dinner at husk i did not go pescatarian uh but sally did take a backer up on the recommendation of the swordfish and uh the swordfish hit

absolutely different i went pork it was good but i think there were some better orders on the table. But what a time. What a time. I don't know, man. I can't wait. I can't wait for next Sunday. It's going to be a big one. I'd love to watch with other people. You should go.

NFC Championship, David. I would love to go to San Francisco for a game. I hear going to that field is not exactly the best from where I'd be in San Francisco. Yeah, it's kind of out in the middle of nowhere. Yeah, yeah. So I don't think that's going to happen. But I do have my Vegas tickets booked just in case. Felt a little wrong doing it.

Feels like it might backfire on me. But I wanted to make sure that if the Lions do go to the Super Bowl, I just want to make sure that boots will be on the ground. I've said it my entire life, but I wanted to make sure that if the Lions do go to the Super Bowl, I just wanted to make sure that boots will be on the ground. I've said it my entire life and I'm not going back on it. If they make it, I will be there and I will cry.

Will you guys cry with me? I'll cry. I don't know if I'll shed a tear for the Lions. No offense. I'll be happy for you. That's fine. That's fine. I get it.

I get it. But yeah, all in all, good weekend. I had an enjoyable time. I'd love to go back to Nashville when it's not snowing outside. Maybe a tease. Oh, yeah. Very easy to fly to Nashville. Two-hour flight from Austin, touchdown.

Airport's right next to everything, so you just shoot right in. It's a beautiful spot. If people want to vote for that in a future poll or scenario, I would not be opposed to it. You're going to have an opportunity very soon. I also learned we have a ton of backers in Nashville. Shout out to every Nashville backer out there. So many people reached out and I put up my P-flare.

You did put one up. I put up a photo flare just to let people know, hey, I'm in Nashville. That's what it means, right? Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Yeah, all in all, great weekend. Had a good time. I can't wait to be back in town for the long haul. Got nothing in the pipeline right

now. It feels good to have boots on the ground in Austin. I'm not going to lie. Let's get after it then. Squarespace. I freaking love Squarespace. Today's podcast is sponsored by Squarespace, but not just our podcast. If you go to the Wash Media website, you'll see that it's also sponsored by Squarespace. If you're not familiar with Squarespace, let me learn you up a little bit. It's the all-in-one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. So whether you're just starting out or managing a growing brand, Squarespace makes it easy to create a beautiful website, engage with your audience and sell anything from products to content to time, all in one place, all on your terms. When you sign up for Squarespace, you go to your website,

they got a ton of different templates you can go choose. Not only can you edit these templates really easily, but you can also just make them look aesthetically pleasing in a million different ways. Their font selection on this is just awesome. You ride so hard for Squarespace. It's a beautiful thing. I love aesthetics in general.

If something's going to get created, it might as well get created in a beautiful way. And Squarespace allows you to do that. You can collect people's emails. So you can send emails straight from Squarespace to your customers. You can start a blog on there. You can just have a website. You can even set stuff up to like book reservations if you have a restaurant. Maybe you can set up appointment times if you're running a business that requires your personal time. It's a beautiful thing. There are so many use cases for it. If you are starting off building a website, don't hesitate to head over to Squarespace. Right now, if you go to squarespace.com,

you can get a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, go to squarespace.com slash steam and save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Again, squarespace.com slash steam to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. Big game last night. Brett took an L. Okay. Damn. I mean, it's true. I was cheering for Brett in the bills.

I wanted the bills to go through. But last night, I feel like the game kind of got hijacked a little bit. Dylan, you've been complaining for a while now about the amount of Taylor Swift being shown during football games. You just hate it. You think it's bad for the league. No, no. You think she's a huge distraction to the Kansas City Chiefs.

I was saying there are not enough shirtless, burly men on camera. So last night we got retired Jason Kelsey making an appearance at Bills Nation. It all started when he was seen drinking something in a classic Bills vignette. Was that a bowling ball? I don't know. Dylan texted me and he was like, that's the best eight ball I've ever seen. I don't remember.

Prove it. Show us your text. My text delete after five minutes. Oh, you're on dust, cyber dust? Yeah, I'm on cyber dust, dude. Yeah, they're gone. Sorry. Cyber dust, man.

I have a concern though. I do truly think that Jasonsey can be a national treasure if he's uh handled in such a way but i worry that last night he might have had too much self-awareness and what what do you mean randy can i uh can we put a video on the screen for me real quick i gotta point out shout out to everybody who recognized him at the tailgate because he looks like about 40 of the guys in one he really does video on the screen for me real quick? I got to point out, shout out to everybody who recognized him at the tailgate because he looks like about 40% of the guys in one. He really does. He really does. So the video we're about to watch here is the camera's panning over to Taylor Swift and she's really yucking it up with Brittany Mahomes. And you see Jason Kelsey in the background here.

You see Jason Kelsey in the background here and he's smiling. But then you can also see a moment where everyone realizes the camera's on him. And I want you to see his demeanor once he realizes the camera's on him here. Okay. I haven't seen this yet. Okay. He's doing bits. The smile goes away immediately and he immediately just starts chugging the beer because he wants to be unhinged burly you're chugging guy he's trying to fit the fit the image that being said even though he is

self-aware and he's using taylor for his clout right now i think i'm all for it he does wow he he sees himself on some screen somewhere he's like okay it'd be really hard to see yourself on a screen in a stadium like that with taylor swift in front of you and not immediately be like oh i will say this about jason kelsey wait like he seems to be one of the most likable professional athletes it's crazy out there why like it's crazy how likable this man is super likable i i'm a big fan do you think travis is kind of like okay dude like let me let me get my shine a little bit i always dreamed about having a brother who like would who would kind of make it about him in my biggest moments.

Yeah, no, I'm just having fun. He does have the ideal male body. Dude, I don't know why, but I'm jealous of his build. That's what peak performance looks like. It does, because here's the deal. He's like, obviously it doesn't work for me because I never played an offensive line or defensive line. I never played on the line in any capacity.

You play with a lot of lines. I thought you were a nose tackle for the state championship Duncanville Panthers. No, no. Didn't you say your nose was tackling some stuff over the weekend? Come on, man. I don't do cocaine. They said I was a tweener, so they put me at the mic.

Oh, really? Yeah. The quarterback was always calling me out like, I know this dude is the mic. And I'm you fucking got me i am the mic no one was safe coming over the middle i'm like you know what you're roaming out there i'm the mic but run your play like d-man's out there at the mic again it's a problem it looks like a bunch of alligators playing when dave was just taking knee but he's got the uh he's got the bulky shoulder trap and like clearly like can bench press a lot chest but doesn't have to worry about the high body fat because he still looks scary.

And nobody's looking at him like, oh, man, he needs to cut some of that weight. I'm sure he will in retirement. But just a good look to walk around. You have to worry about eating healthy at every meal. My buddy Jared is a man of size. But he's got body. He's got hard, big man body like this. He's he's not like a flabby guy hard big man body hard big man body is this compliment a million times on like you got a good big guy body this is a genuine

question is is his body what would be described as being a shithouse a shithouse yeah have you ever heard that that i think that's preserved for like people who are jacked okay muscle okay because like okay like a definition not quite a fire hydrant either will no he he kind of has fire hydrant vibes for his head it's giving fire hydrant like um what's what's the the defensive end for the the niners the white guy uh bosa bosa the shithouse he's a shithouse shithouse that dude is man my my algorithm was not friendly to him on the timeline this week he gets a rap as being well I don't know on a side of the spectrum that some people don't appreciate

sure I don't know honest question about Jason Kelsey how many Bud Lights can he drink and be totally fine? Because seeing him chugging all these beers and stuff, I was like, man. I had a reaction where I was like, there could be a time where he takes it too far and is just the sloppy drunk guy. But then I realized, wait, this guy can drink Bud Light like it's water.

I don't think it really matters for a body like his. It's 15 before he's even really feeling it. And it's probably like if he's gonna go to a game like that and start drinking before the game he's putting back at least 30 to 40 beers he could probably drink as many beers as he wanted and never get like you know like sick from drinking like it's just he's so untouchable right now that he can be just chugging bud light in a booth behind taylor swift and no one's roasting him for drinking Bud Light. He's just the every man. Well, you saw that Kid Rock gave up his ban on Bud Light, right?

Well, Kid Rock gave it up before he announced giving it up. He said, I think they got the message. He went back to drinking Bud Light. That's what he said. I did not see that. That's incredible. They understand. You can't unfire those bullets.

Has it been a little interesting that Kid Rock's been so separated from this Lions run? Are they not claiming him? Are they distancing themselves? I don't know. I haven't really thought about it. I don't know. You'd think like... I don't know. Big Lions guy. Sally said something last night about why didn't they get Taylor to do the Super Bowl? And I was like, well, they probably offered her. I just don't think that's something she probably wanted to do. She's

too big for it. But also, if they don't make it to the Super Bowl, she probably doesn't want to go to the Super Bowl after going to football games all year. Can you be too big for the Super also if they don't make it to the super bowl she probably doesn't want to go to the super bowl after going to like football games all year can you be too big for the super bowl yep yeah they get some big names man yeah but they kind of get people that are not rihanna aside but she hasn't she hasn't even put out anything in years they kind of have people with like legacy catalogs you know we recrushed it but here's here's my thing that i want her to do i think she should do the national anthem. All right.

I don't think she has the pipes for it. Isn't it Reba? Is it Reba? I thought Reba was doing something. No offense. She doesn't have the pipes for that. You don't know that. You don't know that.

I love Taylor, but she's not a tier one vocalist. No, but we don't have... When's the last time we had an iconic Pledge of Allegiance? Dude, let her get up there and hit the Pledge of Allegiance. Star-Spangled Banner? Yeah, when's the last time we had an iconic one outside of Whitney? I don't know. Of course, Whitney's the GOAT. Yeah, but there's not that many that stick out to me where I'm like, oh, that was good. Outside of Fergie, maybe?

I like a good trumpeteer. Not for good reasons. You just want to hit him with the trumpet? We got Reba on the natty the natty ant okay well how did they choose reba for vegas we got post malone doing america the beautiful posty is it was that super bowl does that make it move yeah i'm really you're hard right now because he's performing america the beautiful i don't have we've got andre day who will sing lift every voice and sing lift every voice and sing whoa lift every voice what we've got um adam levine doing holy fuck you're so fucking hot holy fuck holy fucking fuck holy fucking fuck yeah let's not

forget that maroon five did a halftime show. Might have to see the booty, though. Might have to. I forgot about that. Might have to see the booty. Yeah, like, okay. Might. Like, maybe. Hey.

I'm open to it. If Adam Levine sends you a text that says, might need to see the booty, though, you're sending booty every time. I'm sending all my booty meat. Yes. He's getting back shots. Yeah, for sure.

Jason Kelsey can, when he puts down a 30 rack, it's not even a problem. Like he's not driving, obviously, but like. No one accused him of driving. No, I know. I'm just saying like. No one's choosing to hang out. There was a time where he drank a 30 rack and considered it. No one's choosing Trav over Jason to drink beers with.

There's just something beautiful about having two dudes who are brothers that probably never dreamt of dating the world's biggest pop star and becoming both Hall of Fame. Are they both Hall of Fame? Yeah. They will be both. I haven't followed Jason Kelsey's career as closely as I could have. Jason Kelsey, yeah, he's had an excellent career.

But just think of it. They're truly living the American dream right now. Dating the biggest pop stars, still scoring touchdowns in playoff games, and just getting absolutely obliterated with Bill's nation. Is there any other American dream for a football family that's better than that? I have a working theory that Travis, like low-key, has trash bod. Look at Travis Kelsey's shirt off. Look, I'm telling you, I think low-key he's like not

he's not built like you would expect him to be built i mean did you see the bosa skims ad that shithouse he's no bosa dude he was fucking he's got a little he's got a little pudge which is you know he's a tight end like it's whatever aaron donald has the biggest freak show body in the nfl that dude's a shithouse just for his like position and size like that dude is actually rocking the abs and stuff he has a six six pack at six feet, 300 pounds. Let me see. See, I worry that Jason Kelsey, I worry that his body wants to be like Jason's though.

They have similar chest hair. Zoom in on that, Randy. Chest hair, it's got to be. Chest hair's in. Yeah, we got to let Dylan do his body shame second. Yeah, okay. Dylan body shames Travis Kelsey. He's got a good body.

My theory is incorrect. I would take that body, dude. I wish my his body shame second. Yeah, okay. Dylan body shames Travis Kelsey. He's got a good body. You know, my theory is incorrect. I would take that body, dude. I wish my body looked like that. Very hairy chest. I would rather have Jason Kelsey's body, though. Yeah. Man, look at all that hair. I know, dude.

Good for you, Travis. These guys are overflowing with tea. Yeah, it's a lot of tea, man. Just overflowing with it. It's a lot of tea. God, dude. Think about all that testosterone. Yeah, that's what we're talking about.

Think about it, though. Yeah. Yeah, it must be great. I'd like to siphon some of that off. I would love to do TRT with some Kelsey. You need a T-boy. Call that Kelsey Grammer. Hey, seven months from yesterday, I turned 40.

Really? Just for TRT purposes. Let me be the first. Let me be the first. I said I'd wait. Maybe go in for a twofer well i was doing i was thinking about doing the testosterone stuff before covid and i got clearance to go get my labs and everything done and then covid happened and it completely stunted my willingness to like do e appointments with people and stuff so i just completely quit what are the side effects? Talking about the jab? Whatever it is.

I don't care. I don't care if it's the jab. I just wanted to do it. Talking about the TRT jab? I'm trying to fill out these traps so I can look like Jason Kelsey. You'd get, dude, well, I honestly, I don't say this about many people.

I really want to see what your body looks like after three months of TRT. I'd have to work out though, right? Yeah. But you'd want, that's a thing you'd want to dylan if i if i do testosterone replacement therapy can i work out with you at your apartment gym and have you have you sculpt me yeah i don't i don't want to pay to go to a gym i'm not gonna go pay like a mold of clay man yeah let me get my hands in there yep yep put me on your wheel and just spin me right round you have to go shirtless though to alpha that other dude oh yeah yeah have you remedied that yet have you carried him out of the gym yet you know i haven't seen him in a

minute okay it's pretty it's been cold since since you've had this issue with him so maybe he's keeping that's true but i haven't seen him in general so maybe he's just i don't know maybe our schedule you go knock on his door and make sure he's alive our schedules are a little bit different now. You need to check on him. What are side effects of TRT replacement? I would assume your nuts shrink. I don't know.

I don't care. I don't have nuts anymore, per the first five minutes of this episode. Smaller testes. Did you look it up? Is that for steroid? What is that for? Erectile dysfunction. I thought that was one of the pros of getting TRT.

Well, luckily, there's a lot of... Oh, yeah. Isn't it? I thought so, too. That's what I i worry about i thought when you did it you yeah i thought you were rocked up all the time real beaters find a way yeah yeah that's for sure hey speaking of real beaters uh we need to issue a mea culpa boys it's not good so last week we talked about a viral video about swingers on main at Disney. A lot of people reached out to us after saying, didn't you guys know that that's an account? No, I'm sorry.

I didn't see the 50,000 follower count twinking a redhead. That is their avenue for releasing their content. I have to say, very well done. It duped not only us, but a larger portion of Twitter. Okay? Okay. We messed up. We didn't do our research. We but a larger portion of Twitter. Okay? Okay? We messed up. We didn't do our research.

We spread a little bit of fake news. We started to kind of get to it, and then we were like, yeah, we moved on. We were like, wait. And then Randy spent the next 45 minutes looking up, researching the young lady. And DMing the redhead. I think I even said on the episode, I think they're just content creators. No, and you were correct. You were correct, Randy.

I'll say this. I've watched some of their other videos, and while it's not my traditional form of humor, they actually do have some very funny things that they do that are intentionally cringe. And so while I am a little bummed that this wasn't an actual thing for Swingers on Main, it does make me happy that like these two are actually creating cringe content intentionally. And this wasn't just something that they were doing. The biggest giveaway, of course, it was either her laugh or the rubbing the top of her head into his neck ever so

gently. But I just think that swingers are so like, so like, I just feel like swingers are likely to act like that. Did you know, did you have any family, friends, especially like swingers are likely to act like that. Did you have any family, friends? Especially Disney swingers. Parents of friends who were swingers growing up that you realized later in life, like, oh.

I never realized it. I'm sure I did, but I just didn't know it. There was a swingers place that got busted in Duncanville probably 15 years ago. It was a house, and it wasn, obviously not zoned for this use, for commercial use, but they were hosting big swingers parties

and the neighbors finally got fed up and knew what the name of it was. It was called the Cherry Pit and found out one of the couples there

grew up with one of the... The Cherry Pit? Yeah. Explain the meaning. That's just what they call it, the swingers house. Look it up. Cherry has... Randy, look up Cherry Pit Duncanville. Some meaning still in it. it, the swingers' house. Look it up. Cherry has some meanings, Dylan.

Yeah, but none of them are virgins. What? I would say that, you know, I kind of like the name The Cherry Pit. Sounds good. No, there was a group of people in my life who I never hung out with or anything, but I would see some of these people every once in a while. And there was one night where I saw some people at a bar, and everyone was talking. And I was like, oh, man, that crew these people every once in a while. And there was one night where I saw some people at a bar and everyone was talking and I was like, oh man, that crew again,

they're out of control. And then I kind of started to realize, wait, I think there might be some things happening that are not monogamous. But hey, what you do in the privacy of your own home is your business, not ours. That's right. Not ours. Randy, has she responded to any of your DMs yet? I have not DM'd her, but I... You do have a little crush on her, though, don't you? I'm a fan of Redhead, just like you. They had all those pictures around Disney World, though. I think they actually

went to Disney World. Well, I respect that whatever the couple they went to Disney World with was okay with being the fake swingers in the video. Do you have to clear that with your friends beforehand? I would hope so, yeah. I very much try not to put friends in content that I do without their clearance or without them requesting it. And so, yeah, you have to be like,

hey, so we're making this swingers video about being swingers at Disney. Are you guys okay with us using your likeness? It looks like in 2008, they got convicted for 10 separate charges there. It was a cherry pit, not a Twink and a rat head. I looked it up, Dave. I looked up your Duncanville sex swinger club.

It wasn't mine. Don't say mine. It was yours. I never went there. You're claiming it. Dylan, didn't you say you can tie a cherry stem with your tongue only? Can you actually? It takes me like three seconds, too.

No, I've tried. I've gotten really close, but I've never actually been able to do it. I did it one time, but I broke the stem when I was doing it. That's a powerful tongue, man. What was the trick you were doing with that jar? Stop, dude. We're not doing that. We're not doing it, Dave.

Is that why they called you Jarhead in high school? They didn't call me that. You sure? You're allergic to limesimes but can you have a lemon party yes there we go that was good randy that was that was hasty i enjoyed that party gecko you just got party geckoed oh the party gecko in the house randy's got a sweatshirt that says party gecko and it has like splatter paint on it as part of the design. It glows in the dark, folks.

It does glow in the dark. But you didn't know it glowed in the dark until we were in the studio one day, right? I knew that they had glow-in-the-dark shirts. I wasn't sure if this one did, and I was very pleased. All the little splatters glow in the dark when you're... Is Party Gecko a brand? Gecko was an old 90s, 80s brand that someone's like revived i'm not gonna lie like you're so fried geckos are kind of fucking rad like you see a gecko you're not

gonna be sad no you see like honestly that's how i feel about most lizards i see a lizard i'm like fuck yeah there's a lizard fuck yeah there's a lizard when i was 16 we were in uh saint john u.s virgin. Been there. Didn't you say they stopped calling them the Virgin Islands when you were there, though? Mm-hmm. And we were there with another family, and the other family decided to go on a little day trip, just their family. And then my parents decided to go on a day trip themselves. And being the scumbag 16-year-old that I was, I was like, I don't really feel like going on a day trip with you guys.

I'm just going to chill here at the pool. And I decided to take a naked dip in the pool. Felt a little wild that day, but it was a secluded house. I didn't have to worry about anything. And as I got in the pool naked, the largest iguana that I've ever seen just started walking by the pool and it trapped me in the pool. And I was too afraid to get out because I was afraid it was going to like attack me or something generally harmless right so i sat for about two hours trying to figure out how to get uh get this uh large iguana out of my situation go on get being 16 and naked in a foreign country is not not it like just really bad thoughts were in my head i don't know why and then i recently and then I learned, I don't think iguanas are going to kill me.

It's not going to latch onto my jugular and take me down. Never know, man. If anything, actually, in hindsight, I think a community

of iguanas, I think, could probably initiate me and take me in as one of their own. I think I could vibe with some iguanas for a little bit.

What about the party gecko, though? I would vibe with the party gecko. Hell yeah. If you found out a bunch of geckos were having a party one weekend, you'd be like, can I scoop an invite to that?

I'd roll through. I'd be like the little kid in that video. I know what you're talking about. Dylan, I got some bad news for you, my man. I got some really bad news for you. Google's updating the warning

on the Chrome's incognito mode to make it clear that Google and websites run by other companies can still collect your data in the web browser's semi-private mode. Dude, I saw this and I assumed this was already happening. I thought incognito mode was simply so it wouldn't show up in your browser history. I didn't know. Sure, they still track all your shit. I know, but like, you were telling us all the websites

that you've been going to lately and like, you can't be happy about just tracking everything. My incognito search history is pretty plain Jane, I would say. Oh? Yeah.

I don't get weird with it. You're into nursery rhyme play? I don't get weird with it, Dave, is what I'm trying to say. Why can't they make an incognito mode for Spotify? They have a private mode where it doesn't show everyone what you're listening to, but I don't even feel like that feature gets used anymore.

Because it would ruin the integrity of the Spotify rep. Yeah, but someone asked me recently how Fritz knew all the words to all the Moana songs so well for being his age, and I was like, it's because he played it relentlessly like all summer. And now I have Moana is such a major player in my Spotify rap that I'm like, can't there just be a separate thing? You want to listen to Morgan Wallen without it showing up on your Spotify rap. Yeah. I'm always listening to Morgan Wallen. I listened to Alien Ant Farm the other day, their cover of Smooth Criminal. Why were they trending the other day? I don't know, but that's what got me back into it.

And I watched the video and they kept showing the little... It's because somebody was giving props to the little kid who does the dance. I did enjoy that song.

It's a good cover. Really good. I'm not saying I enjoy their entire catalog, but... No, but there's once a year that video starts hitting the timeline again

and people start being like, dude, this actually goes really hard. That little kid goes off. It's a good song, man. It's a very good song. That hit TRL at the perfect time. Yeah, that was kind of a late stage new metal.

That kid does snap on that. Yeah. Yeah, I think that video was actually tweeted from like epic moments in new metal history or something. That's epic. Do you remember Will was doing that little kid doing the a minute ago do you remember the mitsubishi commercial i think i don't know what the car was but it's like that song and that girl gets in the passenger seat and she just immediately starts vibing and it was like you know what i'm talking about and it's like that day i don't know what you're talking about look it up randy i scroll my phone during commercials, David.

Miss you, B.C. No, this is from like 20 plus years ago. You'll know when you see it and you'll know the song and you'll be like, why was this made? Is she popping and locking? Yes. She's like, you can't pop and lock. She just gets into the car with the squad and just immediately like no one else is vibing like this. And she just gets in and she's like.

Is it this one? That's the one. Okay. Play the video, Randy. Yeah, you know it's old because it's a 3G commercial. We're on that 5G grind now. Okay.

Yeah, this is starting to come back a little bit. This is me and Will when we get in with the iguanas. Oh, dude. Yeah. If I'm at a gecko party, this is how I'm trying to act. Look at that vehicle.

Randy, do you need to update your browser, my guy? No, it's just running too much stuff. Audio would be cool. I remember this. I don't want audio. Yeah, she's popping and locking, dude. Like, that's the vibe when you get a Mitsubishi Eclipse, like an 01. That's what's happening.

Dude, y'all ever get in? Have you ever had an uber where like you get in and they have like lights inside of it oh you like deck it out like a party car yeah what's up with that it's a little much they're working on they want a tip there's only been one time where i've gotten in and been like oh this is the perfect time for this like we're all hammered and getting ready to go to like a fun bar this is the perfect time for this but then there's other times where i've gotten in one i'm like cool uh it's uh i don't know 8 30 i haven't really had a drink yet and uh i just have a like a strobe light in the back sick yeah it's like yeah it's like you're going like you're in vegas

going from one club to the next they have to pass the ox you gotta have optional ox that video is 144p and that was the highest quality you can get why someone uploaded that is hilarious she just gets what i call her shut up randy fucking dork i'm sorry i didn't mean that when i took the history of hip-hop my freshman year in college hey he's gone i got the syllabus and one week was uh talking about like break dancing culture and for a split second i was like i wonder if they're going to teach us anything like do you think they're going to like put down some cardboard on the on the floor and the uh no offense i can't imagine you break dancing you wore your track suit

dude i even like yeah i wore yeah i wore i wore my kangle hat that day and i didn't get the nod does that guy still do that at the gym all the time live at lifetime spin on the old guy he spins on his head i haven't seen him in a workout i think i'd be good at it i can do i can do headstands like the best of them but i just worry about the integrity of my skull i don't yeah i don't have a fire hydrant neck situation to where i feel comfortable just standing and spinning on my head i was more of a windmill guy i could do one and a half revolutions of a windmill at one point in my life. What's a windmill? It's the one where you're on your back and your legs are up in the air and they're going around.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I could do like one initial. Let's fucking see it, bitch. We got room right here. You can't do it on carpet. Yeah, what? I mean, you could do it on carpet, but like. This guy's never breakdanced.

I'm not going to make him do it on carpet. I'll break down a box and lay some cardboard down for you. How about that? Should we turn our. Yeah, I bet you will. Let's turn the conference room into the break dance room. A video of all of us trying to break dance would probably be pretty entertaining. I like the stuff that you do before you get down where you're like walking around.

Yeah. You get the vibe, then you hit it out of nowhere. Yeah. That's right. Yeah. That's what's up. I don't have any dance moves in my arsenal that will blow anyone's mind at like a wedding or anything. Wait till I juvie slide at Barrett's.

Stop, dude. You're not going to. So I posted an Instagram story of the wedding that we went to this past weekend. And I had someone respond and say, is this the one that Randy's supposed to juvie slide at? And I was like, no, that's next month. And he has taken zero steps to get there. Dude, Randy, please. If you don't learn how to juvie slide slide we're gonna have to have a really serious conversation

the Monday after Barrett's wedding I'm going to learn how to juby slide why do you think I should have done it this weekend you're gonna be so embarrassed

yeah you just told us all you did this weekend was sit around watching TV you were watching like Reacher and shit yeah you were watching Reacher

that's a brick shithouse yeah he is a beast who is it Alan Richardson I think he was the one that played Thad Castle in uh oh yeah

he's huge Randy you, you're going to be so mad when you break that out and then I upstage you with my worm. How about you worm in the middle and I Juby slide around you? If you could learn any dance move and execute it perfectly, what would it be? Ooh. There's something about spinning on your

head. It's pretty dope. If you looked over from the bar at a wedding And saw Dave spinning on his head It would be electric My bald head's smoking The Juby slide is fucking cool It looks like magic You need too much room

You need too much real estate to execute it You got a whole dance floor to work with I'm worried about the extent of the Here's a question for you, Randy. Moonwalk, though. When you decide, a perfect moonwalk

would be awesome. That's what I'm saying. Juby Slide might be just hot right now. The moonwalk is generational. Are you going to audition for anybody before you Juby Slide

at Barrett's wedding? Or are you planning on unveiling it there? Because if you show me your Juby slide before, I can make sure that there's an area that we can clear out and figure it out. You're saying you want to sneak peek at the Juby slide before I take it out? I'm just saying that I can help you create a space where your Juby slide will be able to thrive.

All right. How about this? You and I will go get lunch someday at a dance studio and I'll show you my gym. Where they serve lunch. So hold on. Just to be crystal clear about what you just said, you and I are going to go have lunch at a dance studio. Yeah. Okay.

There's one next to where I get my haircut. There's one next to where we get our haircut, Dylan, that's always empty. Maybe there's a food truck out back. Oh, yeah. There's never anyone in that place. Yeah. There's always two people sitting there. I'm like, back. Oh, yeah. There's never anyone in that place. Yeah. There's always like two people sitting there.

I'm like, are you guys just waiting for walk-ins for like dance classes? Hey, the party gecko doesn't reveal his secrets. It's true. Actually,

I kind of feel bad that I'm questioning the party gecko right now. Questioning him. Parks did a hip-hop class a couple years ago that was pretty funny watching him do it.

Oh, yeah. I would like to be able to do a backflip. You could learn that. Don't don't don't you see the video of that kid learning in an hour how to do it no i could do it on a trampoline i was too scared to do backflips on trampolines dude i could do it every time i did it i would i would i wouldn't go straight up and down i would always like fling myself to one side of the trampoline and risk falling off every time. Yeah, it's a scary thing.

I could do misty flips like none other though, dude. Oh, a flip with the rotation. I still think I could do it. It's just been a while. I got a month left. Month and a day to learn this Juby slide. I would like to learn the entire, like an entire Michael Jackson dance. Like such as the

Smooth Criminal. Billy Jean. Where he leans? I don't know if I'm learning that. You know how they did it? Probably Smoke and Mirrors. Special heels in his shoes.

What'd they do? Like DeSantis? Nails. Nails. Rest in peace. Nails on the dance floor with a little hook on it in the heel.

So he would hook on so he'd lean and he was anchored to the floor basically. I thought he was just different. Did he do it in concert one time though? Yeah.

I thought he did. He has a spot. Yeah. There's a spot. Like there's something sticking out of the floor. Oh, it's sticking. Okay.

So the shoes aren't attached to the floor. It's almost like you fasten yourself in. Yeah. Oh, interesting. And you slide off when you keep on moving people thought he was bogging well they were also doing that in the alien ant farm video but i think in the alien ant farm video they were

on harnesses there's some trickery yeah i think there were harnesses based on the investigation that i was doing based on some of the band members they're not learning that no no offense you could tell that like they knew this this was going to be a big deal and like the the bass player in that video was just playing it up way more than it needed to way too much bass player like wild out tongue thing like really getting into it and just like what's up with bass players in like the early 2000s just doing bits the entire time like west borland and there's a lot of bass player bits going down. Yeah, yeah. I think there might be some picks going down this weekend. You guys hear about these prize picks?

The largest daily fantasy platform in North America. The one that's the easiest and most exciting way to play daily fantasy sports. It's just you against the numbers, baby. And when you've got to grasp on the numbers like we do, it becomes so much more fun. Instead of battling thousands of other players, including pros and sharks, you pick more than or less than on about two to six player stat projections, and then you just watch the winnings roll in, baby. With the basketball season here, you can now pick a combo of projections across football and basketball from the specials league, a league created specifically for combo projections that

includes two or more players from different sports or leagues. For example, you can do LeBron James and Travis Kelsey at a 10.5 combo of three-pointers made and receptions. I'm taking that, especially after last night. You know what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. Can you bet on Jason Kelsey beers deleted? I don't know if that's an official stat,

but I think we can talk to the guys over at PrizePix and see if they'd add it. Yeah. If you want to play alongside some of PrizePix's favorite players, like rapper Meek Mill, I don't know, maybe comedian Andrew Schultz, you can now find community plays under the promos tab of the app to view entries from some of the biggest names in the PrizePix community each week. They even offer a reboot policy. Yeah, I said a reboot policy.

So that your entries stay in play even if one of your players gets injured. For football and basketball games, if you have a player who exits the game in the first half and does not return in the second, reboot it! That's me rebooting. Dave just rebooted over there. It's the only daily fantasy sports platform with an injury insurance policy. That's how much it means to them. Right now, if you go to prizepicks.com slash steam

and use promo code steam for a first deposit they'll match up to a hundred dollars again that's prizepix.com slash steam use code steam for a first deposit match of up to one hundred dollars a hell of a deal dave get over here that's the sound of me whipping d Dave on his bare bottom with a towel. Why do you have so many welts on your bottom, David? I wet the tip, too, so it really stings. Don't say wet the tip, dude. Put some stank on that tip.

Anyway, what are we steaming on today? I don't like hanging out with you in this steam room. Will's got to steam. I got a real cucky steam today. A cucky steam. A cucky steam. So you guys have known. I'm doing the classic pescatarian thing where you talk about it constantly.

Yeah. We're not annoyed at all. Yeah. And so like in doing this, I found a lot of really good things. I found that I've been exploring menus, different parts of the menu at restaurants that I never would have tried before. I've been trying different vegetables. How's that tum-tum? You ever heard of a beetroot?

Not really. Have you, Dave? Get it? Beet? No, I got it. Yeah. It's like a song. I don't like that beet.

That beet stunk. You got to do a better beet. It's fun, man. And you want to break dance. I enjoy the pescatarian life. But what I've been learning is that I have a better beat. It's fun, man. And you want to break dance. I enjoy the pescatarian life. But what I've been learning is that I have a frustration here. Just because someone's eating pescatarian or vegetarian on the menu doesn't mean that they're trying to be as healthy as humanly possible. And every single vegetable item on these menus lately are all things that I just don't even want to eat.

Can I give you an example? You want an unhealthy Pesco option. Exactly. Deep fried. It's a calorie play for, like, I'm just, it's just. You want fish and chips. Yeah. But like, you go to these Tex-Mex restaurants in Austin

and you look at like, oh, I can do the veggie fajitas, which I'm thinking like, that's probably just fajitas with just like the sauteed vegetables and stuff. Like that sounds like something I could fashion, fashion together and enjoy. But then it's like, no, for this one, you get zucchini, squash, random vegetables that I just don't want to eat. I'm out on that player.

And then when you get this vegetarian meal, it comes with that healthy veggie rice that's not actual rice. They just default to that. Why can't I just have the regular Mexican rice that tastes so good with every other meal here? There's probably chicken broth that they cook it in, and they probably don't want you to break your thing. That's a good point. That's a good point. I'm pretty light on the, like, if something's made with broth, I'm not going to really care about it. But it's like, I don't need the rice with all the veggies in it. I want the naughty

stuff over here. You want naughty rice. You want to be a bad boy, don't you? A bad pesco boy. But it's like, just because you're not eating meat doesn't mean you want to eat zucchini as a replacement for it that's disgusting can my mans get some deep fried veggies one time just one time for a player deep fry something like i don't want i don't want cabbage on top of my tacos just because i'm not eating meat like just give me the give me Give me the classic Tex-Mex stuff. I don't need cabbage on my tacos. Damn, Blair. Why don't you open up a vegetarian place for unhealthy eating? People will just flock to it.

Dude, exactly. Exactly. You've talked about it. How do you get full on it? It's hard to at some of these restaurants because they're just serving you little bitch plates. A lot of vegan diets are kind of unhealthy, right? Because a lot of carb action. I don't know.

There's a big contingent of people talking about the benefits of red meat lately. Probably Jason Kelsey. The Bennys? Yeah. I don't know what they are. You think Jason Kelsey eats red meat? Yeah. I don't know if I'm ever going to be built like Jason Kelsey if I'm just eating veggie

rice and zucchini tacos. He knows his way around a porterhouse. You're TRT and fish and chips away from being Jason Kelsey. You got the beard. You have a better beard. If I get on TRT, I don't know if it's better.

It's up there. They're both pretty good. It's conversation. They're both pretty good. Good beards. Yeah, if I did TRT for a month and ate fish and chips for every meal,

do you think I could be a shithouse? Yeah. Sure. You might have to move a weight around or two. If I could guarantee that I could put on a ton of weight and it would all be like evenly distributed through my body and I would just be like one of the big dudes, I think I would be okay with that.

But I worry that it would all go to the places I don't want it to go to. You'd have to also lift. Where? Like love handles. Like I have bigger love handles than Jason Kelsey does right now and I weigh 180 pounds. You know? Like I can't be doing that. You're at 180?

Well, no. I think I'm at like 185 thanks man thanks for airing me out oh that's randy and i had a weight journey together it's true we're just absolutely vibing the whole entire uh dijerno stuffed crust pizza i had this weekend didn't help no one ate more pad thai than i had last night sally thought there was gonna be extra leftover and when she went to the kitchen and saw that empty pad thai than i had last night sally thought there was gonna be extra left over and when she went to the kitchen and saw that empty pad thai container i was like uh no yes bye-bye do the party geckos that are trying to lose weight come on man bye-bye party gecko shreddy season you know yeah but i don't like my geckos too trim can i see i want to steam on a former sponsor but i can't do that is it one hasn't paid us no i guess team on a couple sponsor, but I can't do that. Is it one that hasn't paid us? No.

I could steam on a couple of those. I took clear this weekend. I took clear this weekend. And while I actually really do appreciate – I'm not one of those people that's like, dude, the clear line's gotten longer than the regular line at this point. Like, I don't think that's actually true. Sign Dylan up. Well, yeah, how's the white line? I'm not doing that.

So you joined Scientology. Oh, yeah, I went clear dave out is that what they call it going the clear line in nashville they were updating every single person's personal information in that line from address to name to a new photo of yourself to everything so when you're getting in line at an airport and you think you're getting in the clear line i thought it was going to go so fast. No, every single person's standing there for five minutes while everyone in the other, the pre-check line is just breezing by and we're all updating our information. Like, are you kidding?

We're really doing this? Can I do this online? Send me an email about this. Yeah, that stinks, baby. What are you doing? I'm impressed with the eye scanner thing. Yeah, but do you ever get confused on, I always get confused on where to. Oh confused on where to oh every time like you don't know how close to get to the thing but it's the way like it's crazy to me well when you if you update your photo on clear i'm going

to give you a little tip this is for everyone out there they make you update your photo this time and if you stand in the regular part of the the booth where you're supposed to stand right now when you take your photo, you have to stand further back. You almost want to take like two or three steps back because instead you just slouch down and then they're like, oh no, you need your face to be further back. And then you go like this and you have the all time worst photo taken of you. Every single person in the clear line was like, I look like shit. Can I retake that? One of the worst jobs in the airport has to be like the people who hang out

and like help people with clear they're either super super nice or super beaten down it's it's usually my experience with it like it's usually a problem because there's always one of the machines is down somebody like didn't update their thing someone like didn't realize they hadn't paid for clear in two years and like they weren't eligible and then they realize they have to go to the back of that way long security line over there. Just a tough scene. Do you ever see – I feel so bad for the people that get in a pre-check line, get all the way to the front of it, and then they're told like, oh, you don't have pre-check. You got to get out of here.

Like I feel like they should vote for – like they should just take everyone on the line and vote and be like, should we let this guy through? And we're all, yep, let him through. He's good. He's good. Why would you get in the pre-check line if you don't have pre-check because sometimes you just don't realize you just get in the line oh like you know how lines be you really know i'm just knowing no one's in this line come on man i'm over y'all no you're not dude i'm just gonna start doing cocaine just y'all can't joke about it anymore like if like you're gonna actually develop like

a really bad problem so we can't make jokes about it? That'd be a good bit, dude. Let's cool it with the jokes. He's taking it a little too far. Too bad that guy who went to that twerk contest didn't do a pre-check. Dude. Can we talk about him? One, where are twerk contests?

I kind of want to go view one. It looked really fun in there. Ask the gecko over there. Hey, party gecko, you ever been to a twerk contest? Yeah, where you get strapped down to the floor. It's somewhere across the pond. I'm sure there's probably one in Vegas when you're there for the Lions Super Bowl. You can get one. Do you think they're just like, are these like, it kind of looks like a boiler room set, Randy.

And he was the DJ. I didn't think she was doing enough to make him completion. I'd like to see the first couple minutes. Yeah, like how long is this guy edging for? I already told you, the pants come that way. Right. Gotta give, Dylan. Are jeans the ideal pant for that?

Ooh. Not a lot of room. Maybe like a tropical wool trouser. Tropical wool. Yeah. Check me out on Retail Therapy. That's wool from the tropics. Tropical wool.

What the fuck is that, dude? Look it up. I'm not opposed to tropical wool. I'm not wearing wool at the tropics. Sheeps on the island? They actually called me tropical wool when I was in the pool with the iguana. You were pulling so much of it. Yeah.

Yeah. Look it up. Look it up. I'm not saying I'm rocking it to the twerk contest. Do we think this guy is like, he didn't seem embarrassed. Or maybe not embarrassed enough. You have to know that that's in play.

You don't just do that and you're like, wow, I've literally never done that. That guy's done that before. Whoever decided to blur that man's in play you people don't you don't just do that and you're like wow i've literally never done that that guy's done that before whoever decided to blur that man's face saved his saved his life if you're the girl that you know finished the job you got to feel like jason kelsey shirtless with the bud light in your hand at the bill stadium she won she won the internet oh yeah in a competition that's something you hang your hat on like that's that's an accomplishment that would have been interesting if he hung his hat on it when he stood up it's true yeah tropical wool also referred to as summer weight wool is an airy lightweight wool great for year-round wear i don't know if that's a good thing to wear to a

tour contest though yeah that's like wearing sweatpants to a strip club you just can't be that guy oh my god that would be a funny fantasy punishment you have to wear like a like a wind suit like a really thin track suit to a strip club by yourself and get a lot i don't know why what's wrong with you i just say it'd be a funny punishment to wear spandex you just you just don't get let in they're like, you got to get out of here. You're like, all right. Fair enough. I get it. I'll see myself out. I'm kind of a creep.

You have to wear the morph suit that Dylan has, the green morph suit. Oh, yeah. Why do you bust out the morph suit more often, dude? That's the one. Because it turns out it's really uncomfortable to wear. No, why? You can't breathe very well in that thing. Dylan gets into my 2003 Mitsubishi Eclipse and just starts popping in his morph suit. People who wear those at sporting events, I don't get why.

It should be illegal. You can't see very well. Not only that, but you can see too well in other areas. Your wiener? Yeah. There were people that would wear morph suits to cold weather football games all the time. And it's like, you're just a guy in the morph suit. I can't see shit with that that can't be fun no you get more cloud if you're shirtless guy and just deleting beers like 38 beers yeah and i'm over here drinking one

and telling everybody about it he just drank 38 times the beers he's alpha cool i do worry that jason like i worry that if he goes, like, is there a world where he goes straight into the sun? No. Jason Kelsey?

Yeah. No. Okay. I don't think so either, really. No, they've got a good thing going. Yeah.

Travis retires in the next couple years. They have the pod. They're going to be fine. Are you buying into any of the rumors that he and Taylor are going to get engaged

this summer? They're out there. What did DuMois have to say? I haven't seen that T. I don't know. I need to check that T. I'll check it later. Check the T, Tom.

A lot of smoke, T. Could be fire. I think they need a full postseason, you know? They've only been dating in the season, right? Largely. Largely. He might be a completely different person outside the NFL. Who knows?

Yeah. You got to wonder if she's still going to look at him with those hard eyes when he's not putting up numbers, you know? It's true. It's tough. know like we've all experienced it like when we if we take too much time off from recording here like people just start to hate us because we're not putting up numbies anymore especially when you don't announce it we're taking a little break ready to go dylan you need to tweet more dude dude. Why are you tweeting it? I'm sorry. You got to tweet more. I'm sorry. We should ask Golik Jr. how many beers, like, you know, O-Line, Notre Dame,

how many he put back. I mean, there's probably many offensive linemen we could contact. Wade Boggs is the GOAT. Fuck, I want to be like a – I just want to be an offensive lineman, I think. Like, I think it'd be really fun. I hate to say this, man. I think you missed the boat on that. Why? It's too late, probably. My muscles are all fresh, though.

My battery's full. That's true. Per Donald Trump. You haven't used much of it. Yeah, I haven't used them yet. I still could be very fresh coming off the bench. What an absolutely ridiculous thing to say. Dude, there's something to it, though. There's something to it. There's just not. No, No, I'm not exhausting my body right now by working out. Why would you do that? How many years of eligibility do you have left? Probably a lot. Okay.

I've never played any varsity sports in college. Can I get like a D3 scholarship if I became a shithouse? You get those guys who like they went to the military or something and they, you know, 20, wasn't there a guy, who's the guy in Texas, Dylan? A few years back he's like famous now army vet or special ops guy nate boyer yeah wasn't he like 26 sound like as a walk-on or some shit yeah could i go 36 could i go to the walk-on practice at texas former green hope to slip in without them knowing i'm not a student uh man i don't know who's the guy with a

the beard i heard a story about iso um going to walk-on tryouts at Michigan State. Apparently, they'd be doing the tryout, and he would walk in for five minutes, look at everybody, and leave. Did not entertain it much. But, Harbor Springs High School did have a walk-on at Michigan State that did play. Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Worked all four years for it pretty cool pretty cool it wasn't me oh it wasn't me okay all right time to get out of here we're not doing shaggy references bye Outro Music